Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Chad and JT

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Santino sits down with the most stoked dudes in LA Chad and JT to talk about their new series Chad and JT Go Deep on Neflix. Just smooch ur bro dude. #chadandjtgodeep #whiskeyginger #andrewsantino #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast ============================================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly ROMAN Get your T up dudes and $15 off your first month and FREE SHIPPING https://getroman.com/whiskey MIZZEN AND MAIN You'll love these shirts! $25 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://mizzenandmain.com Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Rabbit Hole Distillery, and their one-of-a-kind Kentucky bourbon and rye whiskeys. We drink this stuff on the episode with the boys. I poured them a little bit too much, maybe. But, you know, they had fun. Rabbit Hole's incredible. My favorite so far is their signature blend, this Cave Hill. This Kentucky Stripe bourbon, baby.

This stuff is really good. It's that four-grain triple malt bourbon. I do love this stuff. My favorite stuff about Rabbit Hill, to be honest with you, the reason I think I partnered up with these guys, they do it the real, the right way. You know, everyone talks about toasted and charred barrels and all that stuff. Every single one of these releases,

every single one is aged in both charred and toasted barrels at a low entry and never chill filtered, ever, ever, just as it should be. It's a beautiful bottle. It's great to hold on to. It's got a little rabbit bouncing off the walls on that. They have the Derringer that's finished in sherry cast, the High Gold. That's their Kentucky straight bourbon as well. But that High Gold over there, it's a double malt. The High Gold is the high rye double malt bourbon. And then, of course, the Boxer Grail is their sour mash rye. But I like the OG stuff right here.

I think Caveville is probably one of my favorites. But the bottle's great. It tastes delicious. It's really smooth. And I'm a big, big fan of these guys over at Rabbit Hole. Go get yourself some drink responsibly. Okay? But go to rabbitholedistillery.com slash drizzly. rabbithol hole distillery.com slash drizzly, uh, rabbit hole

distillery.com slash drizzly. Use the promo code rabbit for $5 off your first order. Uh, pick yourself up some rabbit hole, uh, near you or do it online. Use that code rabbit for $5 off your first order rabbit hole distillery.com slash drizzly. What up whiskey ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. If it is your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it, hit that notification bell so you know when we post, but you know when we post.

We post every Friday. We haven't missed. I want to thank all of you for subbing to the show and spreading it around, telling people about the Whisking word. It means a lot to me. I really do appreciate you guys very, very much. My guests, plural, this week are Chad and JT.

What up, dude? They have an incredible show right now out on Netflix. You got to go watch it. They go deep. That's what the show is called. They're very funny dudes. Love this. This episode got weird and wacky and wild and all over the place.

Man, did I enjoy my time. Speaking of enjoying my time, I'm on the road getting ready to enjoy my time filming my special September 24th in Denver, you guys come out, Salt Lake City, Brea, California that's my last time doing an hour in Southern California for a long time, Salt Lake Brea, Minneapolis Madison, Wisconsin, and then I end it at Denver, September 24th, so go to

andrewsantino.com for the tickets, andrewsantino.com for those tickets, also, Andrew Santino go to the store and you get yourself a Gisato shirt, this is from a Gisato. Some of the most quality shirt that you have seen. The Gisato shirts are made. Come for the pizza, stay for the sauce is what it says. And shout out, dude.

Such a funny shirt. Shout out, Represent, for making these dope shirts. So, AndrewSantino.com. Come buy them tickets. Come see me because I'm done for a while. Enough rambling. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour

whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are

hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. And I included you as one guest. It's Chad and JT.

Shout out. What up? What up, legends? Boom clap. Dude, you have too many drinks. First of all, let's start with this. I got you a nitro brew. You have a big bottle of water.

You have a Corona, and you want some whiskey. I'd love some. Okay, what kind of whiskey do you want? You've got, you have sherry cast bourbon. You've got regular Kentucky straight. You got rye. What do you guys want? I think daddy's got to go straight.

Daddy wants it straight? You want some, you want this one? That's Kentucky straight bourbon. This is the one you want? Yeah. We's got to go straight. Daddy wants it straight? You want this one? The Kentucky straight bourbon. This is the one you want? Yeah. We're going to go with the cave hill. And you guys wanted it on the rocks. You say when.

Just say when. When. All right. All right. Good stuff. Now, let me see. Pass yours over to me. Oh, mommy wants to go rye.

Mommy wants the rye? So daddy gets that, and then mommy gets some of the rye. Mommy wants rye. And then again, you gotta tell me just say when. Take it to the brim, baby. Take it to the brim, dude.

Fill it all the way up. So I never drink this so I'll literally be making a face every time I say that. And honestly, just have as much as appropriate for you.

I wanna get kinda sloshed. I haven't drank in a couple days. Dude, nice. Well, you don't need to sip some of that top. It's such an absurd amount and that's for me. I haven't had a drink in probably three Dude, nice. Well, you don't need to sip some of that top. It's such an absurd amount, and that's for me. I haven't had a drink in probably three months.

Cheers to you guys, dude. We're having some rabbit hole. Cheers to you guys. Yeah, it's so good, dude. Dude, that's good shit. Very good, right? Take a little sip. Should I spill it?

Ooh. Yeah, put it right there next to the equipment. Where else would it go? Yeah, that's exactly right. Dude, that's good. All right, you guys, here's the deal. Chad and JT have a show out right now that's on Netflix. It's called?

Chad and JT Go Deep. Okay, stretch for the title, but I like that. Chad and JT Go Deep, which has kind of been the coined phrase for you guys for a long time now. For sure. The show is, what is it really? Tell me what it is. Is it kind of like a white supremacist show or something? Or is it a QAnon-based show?

There's a small percentage of that, but we're doing more of a commentary on it rather than fully endorsing it. Got it, right. But that's not the show. That's not the show at all. Well, it's QAnon-based with pranks. Oh, Q pranks.

Yeah, we're sort of funded by Q. Oh, tight. But then in the end, it's reallyAnon-based with pranks. Oh, Q pranks. Yeah, we're sort of funded by Q. Oh, tight. But then in the end, it's really a story about friendship. Yeah, so it's like breaking away from Q and finding each other. Beautiful. But we Trojan horse it with the Q. Yeah. That is cool, man.

He's a good guy. Watch it on Netflix. It's out right now. It's called Chad and JT Q Pranks. You've got to check it out. You're going to love it to death. I love that you wore a wrinkly shirt. I said that when you walked in. I didn't want you to wear anything appropriate to be on camera.

What's that? It fits me good and it contrasts nicely with my tan. I did compliment your tan. Thank you. You do have a crazy good tan. I've been in the sun a lot and the UV index has been through the roof lately. It's been really dangerous. Do you put sunscreen on ever? No, never. Good. That's smart. Yeah. You don't ever want to do that. Protection is absurd. I'm here for a good time. Not a long time. Better believe it, dude.

And you have worker boots on. Yeah. They make me taller. Is that really the only reason? No. And they look cool. They do look kind of cool. And lately I've been wearing them with shorts. I'm trying to like make a new look out of it. But my dad said it looks stupid. Is your dad still around in your life? Yeah, yeah. We're close. How old are you? I'm 34.

And your dad tells you about fashion stuff still? He just said, hey, you look dumb with those shorts and shoes on. But then I went back at him and I was like, I think it looks cool. And then he said, maybe it looks cool. What does he wear? How does my dad dress? He wears like a... First off, he makes boots, right?

Yeah, my dad... He makes boots. Oh, so he kind of has a good... He knows what he's talking about then. He does know... Yeah, he's got a good sense of style. He's from Jersey. He kind of dresses like a Jersey guy. He's got like a gold chain but it's more subtle than like... Do an impression of your dad right now. JT,

why are you wearing that? He looks stupid. You know what? I don't even know him but I feel like I do. Now that you just... That was so good. Was it good? Yeah, say like, hey, I i'm gonna be late for work. Somebody pick up my briefcase Jt i'm not done Well, how much you want me to do here? We'll figure just sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry I'm gonna be late for work. Somebody grab my briefcase. It's in the kitchen But also make sure that the left latch is closed if it's not closed

It's going to pop open and all my documents are going to fall out everywhere. And Oh, call Nina. We need to change the reservation tonight from seven 30 to nine 45. You know, I got that meeting late in the day. I can relay that to you if you need. Yeah. If anything, I'll call for line. If, if I get, if I get stumped, what's your dad's name? Tommy. All right. And Tommy JT, I left my briefcase in the kitchen. I'm going to be late for work. Can you go grab it and make sure that the left latch on the door is locked? Because if it's not, the door is going to blow open. Wind's going to go everywhere. My documents are going to be lost.

And also reach out to Nina and let her know that I'm going to be late. Four. The meeting. Because you have to eat. Check. Lasagna. There it is. Was it really lasagna? The meeting. Because you have to eat... Chat? Lasagna. There it is. Was it really lasagna?

It was dinner at 9.45. That was really good, though. Yeah, it was good. It was way more than I thought you were going to get. I thought you were going to get a sentence. That was way more than I thought you were going to get. I'm a max effort player, dude. I'm here to go.

I'm on Hondo, dude. And what's your dad's name? Bob. Yeah. Yeah, all my siblings, you know, Bob, Bill, Mark. I'm on hundo dude and what's your dad's name Bob yeah yeah all my siblings you know Bob

Bill Mark Bridget and Noel are kind of a little bit more Noel is yeah they got it fun here with the chick names

yeah but with the dudes it was just you know we like yeah just very simple straightforward simple straightforward that should have been

the name of this special Chad JT simple straightforward that's not a bad name I like that you guys are very simple. Yes. And straightforward.

Always. And straight guys or no? Are you guys, a lot of people ask me, they're big fans of you guys. Whenever somebody says, do you know Chad JT? I go, yeah,

those guys are awesome. Super funny. And they go, are they a couple? Dude, we've ventured in, we've tried it, we've experimented. But as much as we'd love

to be a couple I just don't think it works yeah we're just not like what is it? what wouldn't work? I think the fact that he has a penis that's a big no-no for you

yeah I mean I've tried you know I've flicked the bell in but yeah we've had like playful like interactions

like jumping out of the shower and you guys are teasing each other flicking each other's dick like sticking a finger in the other guy's butt. But it's always, it's funny because when you kiss your bro, you always laugh afterwards. But then after the laugh, there's a moment where you

think about what just happened and it kind of breaks your brain for a second. And I'm always trying to get past that break because I think that's a block that society's put into us. And he pushes it a little bit more. One time he's like, we gotta try and kiss. pushes it a little bit more. Like one time he's like, we got to try and kiss. And you're a little bit more kind of like, no, no, dude. We tried this.

Dude, this will go viral. This will go viral, dude. Whoa. You know what it is? You're a passionate dude. The way you grabbed his face was so like genuine. Because you're not a bully when you make love. I try not to be.

No, you seem like a very sweet, sensitive, nice guy. And if I turn it up, the other person knows that I can turn it down in a second if I get that note. Right. I mean, I did feel safe there. Right, because he grabbed your face. But you, meanwhile, you're such a calm, smooth dude,

you seem like you're a rabbit fucker. Like you just hold on and you just pound. Oh, big time. You are, right? There's no passion there. Yeah, I'm like the Energizer buddy. You just want to get it out. I just want to get it out.

I want to come as quickly as possible, and then I want to go play Call of Duty. Efficiency. My dog's all about efficiency. I get it, dude. And you got to support each other, you know? You guys just have to continue to support each other in this endeavor. And I just didn't know you guys' stance on relationships and sexuality.

So I didn't know what was going on. I'm straight, but not because I'm afraid of being gay. I've explored and I'm just straight. You're just straight because it just didn't work out. Yeah, dude. Maybe you got to try again, dude. I'm open to it. No, not again.

It's okay. it's okay it's okay did you like it more now? the degree to which he hates it I like how much you don't like it it just makes me feel good to know that you hate it so much and by the way let me know I didn't pressure you into any of that stuff.

That was you guys going for your thing. I've been waiting to do that for a while. You coaxed him a little bit. You guided it there. You gotta spread a couple of crumbs there and see if he's gonna eat, you know? And he did. And we want people to watch the show. I won't do anything.

Alright, look. This show is gonna go through big waves during this time together of me making jokes, but now I'll be serious, okay? For sure. You guys are both extremely funny, super talented dudes. The stuff that you've done publicly that people do need to watch, if you have a chance and you're at home and you go on YouTube and watch these two dudes and what you guys are able to do

at local government, fucking with local government might be the funniest shit. Like when I saw, before I met you guys, I saw you do that shit. And I was so impressed, man. You held your own. You guys never broke. You never got nervous. A lot of times in an improv situation, particularly if, you know, in the hidden camera world or in the prank or in the world of like we're in on something and the audience is with us people get nervous and then they kind of shit the bed and they bail

you guys are consistent every time you've done it you've done a fucking great job you guys kill it and if the show has anything like that it's gonna be phenomenal oh thank you man I really appreciate that you know actually I remember when our house party thing went viral. Yeah.

A buddy of ours, a comic, was like, Santino watched it. Yeah. And like loved it. And that actually, I was like on running at the time. I was like, that meant a lot to me. Oh, because you guys are like,

it was you guys. I was so impressed, man. I was truly impressed. I was like, you guys are genuinely, the rhythm you guys have together is so good. And honestly, it was incredible. So truly, watch the Netflix show, you guys, right now. How many episodes?

Six. Six. Six as well. Show me how you do six again. Six. Six. Try to do it the other way with five on that and one on that one. How many episodes?

It was a lot tougher, wasn't it? That was tough. It just depends on what side of the hemisphere your brain is firing faster. but i think i just like i didn't let myself flow i think if we did it again i would get it but we'll never know how many episodes six okay that's interesting how would you show me six with your hands six six yeah see i would do six if you want to look dope whoa yeah that's the german three yep sure is that's sick, this is sick. Is that a Chicago thing? It's a Euro thing, dude. I've got some Euro blood

flowing through me. I'm a little Euro trash I just found out from my DNA. I'm like 14% pikey, I think. Where's pikey? What country is that? No, pikey's just like a,

we're nomads, dude. You know? Oh, that's like Brad Pitt in Snatch. Correct, dude. Nice. So you can throw hands. Yeah, this pikey shit.

And I'll get sued for saying that, but... By the Pikey Federation of Protected Speech? That's right. Or not protected. No, no, Protected Speech. Fuck yeah. Yeah, those guys are out to get you, dude. Dude, they're contagious. Those guys are nuts. Those dudes come after you. Six episodes. Are they half an hour?

22 minutes. Yeah. 22 minutes on Netflix, but no commercials. Yeah. It's short and sweet, but it's sort of, you know, it's an adventure. It's like a six-episode long adventure. I'd say it feels like, when you go through it, kind of like a movie. It's like a movie, yeah. And we wanted to keep people hooked.

We didn't want to overstay our welcome and tire people out, so we were like, let's keep them short and sweet. That, like, Groucho Marx quote, make it faster, make it funnier. And so we kind of went for that. Is that what he said? He said that? I think so. Groucho Marx said, make it faster, make it funny. Yeah, or Daft Punk.

I think so. They said it. Yeah. I feel like they probably said it. Yeah, it was Daft Punk. Yeah. Yeah, make it fast, make it funny. It's like, you know the DJ Marshmello, the guy that wears a marshmallow hat?

Oh, yeah. For sure. You know what his famous quote is? What? We're here. Fuck, dude. That's huge. Yeah. We're here. We it funny. It's like, you know, the DJ Marshmello, the guy that wears a marshmallow hat? Oh, yeah. For sure. You know what his famous quote is? What? We're here. Fuck, dude.

That's huge. Because that was sitting right in front of all of us and like none of us grabbed it. I went to Vegas one time and I saw this guy and literally all he said, he goes, we're here! And it was so lit. For five hours we partied.

People went nuts. All he had to say was we're here. Dude. Lost our minds. Dude, Steve Aoki, I want his gig where he just throws cakes at people. Have you seen that? I gotta be honest with you when I say this. I'm not into that Steve Aoki throwing cake stuff. As a guy,

my mother made cakes for my whole childhood. That was my mom's career. And it's just disrespectful to the art, you know? Here my mom is, like, bleeding out, making cake, and here this dude is, and it's like a bit to him. It's not, you know, he, like, doesn't care at all about the artist, went into the icing the process the fondant all that stuff means nothing to that guy dude those levels of compassion are inspiring yeah because also

you know steve aoki and i have old beef we got into a fight a couple years ago so that doesn't help for real yeah we got into a street fight who years ago, so that doesn't help. Oh, for real? Yeah, we got into a street fight. Who won? He did, by a landslide. He beat the shit out of me. He fucking ratted you? Yeah, he fucked me up. And I think the insult to injury was he hit me with a fucking cake when it was over. Whoa. Yeah, I chipped my tooth, my front tooth. You can see it's chipped.

Whoa. Yeah, I chipped my fucking tooth on one of his jewelry, like a piece of his jewelry. You didn't tap out, though, did you? No, I'm not a bitch, dog. No, I went toe to toe with him for a long time, but then he started fucking working me. You wore your beading?

Yeah, big time. Fuck yeah. Good dude. And I went to, I did spots afterwards. I was bruised up, nicked up,

bruised up bad, but I still needed to do standup. So I went and did a spot that night, cake all over my face. It was fucked up. He got lucky though. I tripped backwards onto Sunset Boulevard.

I got, I got hit by a car, which is kind of fucked up but yeah we had a two on two fight with the chain smokers we did yeah

wait for real who won they did they beat our ass yeah they fucked us up good what's up with DJs being so strong dude they're all doing

jujitsu in their off hours that's definitely cause they're just working at night so during the day they're just trying to fill that time constructively and they're just like

hitting the mats and rolling what DJ do you think you guys could beat up in a fight let's go Q Moby I mean he's vegan but I think he's fierce yeah he might be

scrappy you know he's kind of like Natalie Briggs Natalie Briggs I think maybe you don't know who that is no she might be beatable dude you know who I think I'd take Deadmau5 is no she's she might be beatable dude you know I think I'd take

dead mouse and I'm looking at the camera for that one bro be careful dude and I thought for years I thought it was

dead mouse 5 yeah why make the 5 an S just say put an S there you know that's the way I could start it if I go

what's up dead mouse 5 and he's like don't say that or should I throw a kick at his mouse mask? Then. Yeah. Then you start a real war.

He's like, bro, my vents. I can't even see. Your vents. All right, tell me right now, the best of your memory and ability. What's in your bedside table right now, right next to your bed? What's right there?

Don't even think about it. What's on it right now? Condoms. Oh, what's on it? Yeah. A lamp. Just it. Just a lamp. Yeah. What's right there? Don't even think about it. What's on it right now? Condoms. Oh, what's on it? Yeah. A lamp. Just it, just a lamp. Yeah.

That's it? I wear condoms, dude. Lamp and condoms. Lamp and condoms. What about you? I have an iPhone charger and I have a lock of Chad's hair. Oh, dude, he does.

Really? Yeah. That's so sweet. Thank you. Do you say anything to it or kiss it before you go to, like, what's the deal with it? No, but whenever I look at it, I smile.

You go, look at that, Chad's hair. Mm-hmm. That's tight. You don't have condoms? I do. I have a lot of condoms. What are we talking? I don't know why I said a lot like I was bragging.

Yeah, it's not a brag if you have so many. It means you're not using them. Chad's running through those things like crazy. Oh, big time. You're a condom guy. Did I do the hot and colds? What is that? Oh, that makes your penis go cold?

Yeah, all those condoms, they're like a condom guy. Did I do the hot and colds? What is that? Oh, that makes your penis go cold? Yeah, well, those condoms, they're like a temperature to them. Yeah, well, it goes... It's like icy hot on your dick. Yeah, exactly. And you know, I ran out and I put icy hot on my dick, and that does not work the same. I would not recommend that. For the kids at home, don't do that.

Don't put icy hot on your penis, because the condom one is probably scientifically engineered to be okay to put on your penis. Trojan knows what they're doing with the temperature gauge. Trojan is legit. Yeah. So the icy hot, so it gets, does it get hot first and then cold? It gets, yeah, it gets hot at first to like fit on there and then it gets cold to sort

of shrink it up. The heat makes it expand so it can fit over that big tube you got. Right. Right. And then it gets real tight. Yeah, because then I stretch it out too much with my, you know, pretty formidable cock. You got a nice cock. Who's more beefy out of you two boys?

Well, it's funny. We're actually champions for the small dong movement. So we both have small penises. Yeah, so I just lied to you. At least publicly. I was on the podcast and I just wanted to look cool for your audience, but no, it's pretty small. Yeah, don't lie to me ever again. Just be honest with me, dude.

No, yeah, you're right. You got a nice penis or no? No. Okay. Doesn't that feel better? No. No, yeah, you're right. You got a nice penis or no? No. Okay. Doesn't that feel better? No. It feels worse? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, shit. You could lie to me, dude. It's fine. No, we're actually pretty amped on having small cocks. Yeah, no, we are. And because we help a lot of people

who have small penises, so... Name some people that you've helped who has a small penis. Our buddy Strider. And actually, that's in the show. I love that dude. Dude, he's so funny. Strider's so funny.

He has a small penis, eh? Oh, yeah. Not for me to say, but yeah, Chad said it. Oh yeah, my bad. But that's actually in the show. There's like a big thing. There's an episode about small penises. It's all dedicated to small genitalia. Yeah, and inspired by Strider because he's such a good dude. But it's smart. Right, so it's highbrow.

It's all about dicks, but it's highbrow. I think so. Have you guys taken on the approach of talking about women's vaginas as far as the girth of those things? We've gotten some messages about it, but we don't feel like we're the right kind of mouthpiece for that. What do you say? Because I don't have a puss, and I feel like someone who does should be the one. Someone who's experienced that life should be the one who's like public facing on it. Okay.

Well, then here's a bounce back to you. Why didn't you hire a woman to be a part of the show to do that with you? Season two, baby. Yeah, that's right. You guys got to watch right now on Netflix. Chad and JT goes deep because they won't get a second season

if you don't watch right now. And otherwise you're taking away jobs from young, highly skilled women who could be on the show to talk about their beefy or lack thereof vaginas. So please watch on Netflix. Yeah, and I don't say that glibly. We really will do a big pussy episode next season.

You think it's a big pussy episode or a little pussy episode? Good question. Probably big pussy, because I feel like... Most pussies are little, huh? I don't know if I have my fingers on the pulse of the pussy talk, but I feel like most pussies are little I don't know if I have my fingers on the pulse of like the pussy talk but I feel like most people

guys at least espouse like desiring a small puss really? right? I'm a beefy guy bud I love a thick puss

whoa I love a big old beef burger I give me you know give me the double double dog nobody wants a single cheeseburger

so when you see tight lips you're like I I'm out. Take a hike, bitch. That's what I say. Wow. When some chick comes in all tidy-tidy, I'm like, kick rocks. Yeah, but you haven't even lived a life. Get out of here.

Yeah, get out of here, tidy, you know? I say, give me that loose goose, dude. But I still get it at Arby's. That's right, dude. We have the meats. Yeah, dude. By the way, I saw an Arby's commercial the other day, and I think it was for like fish sticks, and they still say we have the meats. Yeah, dude. By the way, I saw Arby's commercial the other day, and I think it was for like fish sticks,

and they still said we have the meats. I couldn't disagree with you more. Fish is not meat. No. There you go, dude. You get that? That's bread and like half a meat. Yeah, right, JT?

Yeah, I'm chilling. Dude, how much did you just take? I did half that glass. I did it pretty hardy. That's a lot. Be careful, and drink responsibly, kids at home. But also, these did you just take? I did half that glass. I did it pretty hardy. That's a lot. Be careful. And drink responsibly, kids at home. But also, these guys didn't drive.

They're here for fun. It's not a big deal. Yep. And I see you got my golf club there. Dude, I love this thing. Sandwich? Take it home. I got a whole bunch of them.

You guys don't golf, do you? A little bit. You do? A little bit. I'd love to play with you guys. I think the game's a little long. I think it should be 12 holes. I've talked about this.

I've talked about this. I've talked about this. This is serious. In fact, there's a pro golfer that said this. I think it was either Brooks Koepka, but he was saying, he's like, I black out for like four holes. Like I disappear. I'm so bored.

It takes forever. It's a long time. Nine is actually kind of chill. Nine's perfect. Yeah, nine is actually pretty. You can just play nine and then go live the rest of your life. You know?

What's your take on the live tour? Sick. It's great. Fuck yeah. It's amazing, dude. Get that money. If the Saudis offered me $100 million to do comedy exclusively in Saudi Arabia. Oh, they don't.

It's not. The live tour is here mostly. There's only two tournaments over there. But if they were like, you have to get paid by Saudis to do stand up. You better sign me up, dude. Sign me me up i'd probably move to saudi arabia even though they're like no you do stand up still in the states i'd be like i'm coming dude i want to be closer to the money source dude i have no idea what saudi arabia looks like like what the shape of the country is no i understand that a bit but like what it looks like boots on the ground well you

come from a boot fam. You guys should be the first to attack that whole thing. I'm down. You're ready to go. What does Saudi Arabia look like in your head? Like Dubai. Okay. I imagine tall buildings, kind of like a mass consumer paradise

designed in a desert landscape. So there's no buildings over two stories. It's illegal. Really? Yep. Is that real? Yep. No, it can no buildings over two stories. It's illegal. Really? Yep. Is that real? Yep. No, it can't be over two stories in Saudi Arabia.

Interesting. Yeah. So I was close, but I didn't quite get it. Well, there's buildings there for sure. But they're, you know, they're mohills compared to mountains of buildings that we have here. Yeah.

Weird rules over there. Yeah. Can't chew gum. It's illegal. Really? Yep. Yep. Why is that?

Because people like- I think it just looks disrespectful. Better too much? I don't know. Really? Yep. Yep. Why is that? Because people like- I think it just looks disrespectful. Better too much? I don't know. And if someone's walking around just doing that, I think people see that and they're like, what's up with that guy? It looks rude.

What's the punishment? Death. Damn. Yeah, they take you right down. For chewing gum? Almost everything you do there wrong is death, dude. You know if you don't have shoelaces in your shoes? Death.

Dude, that'd be a hot date. After the date, you know, you want some gum. That's how you feel danger. That's right. Then she's gone. That's what I do to tight-puss chicks I give him some gum in Saudi Arabia and there There's some orbit you just toss it to him. Yeah, dude chew on that. That's what I say chew on that then they're dead Yeah, man a lot of weird rules over there in Saudi Arabia, I take the money from the lib tour I don't really care. I mean, how about this? I've thought about this sometimes in the shower. If a very wealthy person, right?

If a multi-multi-billionaire came to you, kind of like Slugworth from Willy Wonka, and he approached you in an alleyway, and he was like, I'll give you a billion dollars, but you have to stop doing comedy. You have to disappear forever. You can't tell Chad, You can't tell JT. And you guys got to just go away forever.

Would you do it? One billion. B, one billion. At the same, oh, stop. I want you to do the same. I want you to do your answer at the exact same time on the count of three. Don't think about it as yes or no.

One, two, three. No. Beautiful. Doesn't that feel good? You guys aren't sellouts. You're not suckers. Dude, yeah. All right, now for two billion 1, 2, 3

no whoa whoa but like my parents could still support me they would they would have to yeah

cause that Netflix money is gonna run out boys that's not gonna last yeah for real when the tax man cometh dude you're done dude Jasmine talked about this we didn't know about taxes.

Yeah, I didn't really realize taxes were a thing until we got an account. Because early on, the government pays you. They're like, just fucking, you know, stay out of our shit.

That's right. And then when you make a little bit of money, you got to pay taxes. I was like, what? Doesn't that hurt? I thought it was like a figure of speech.

No, it's real, dude. We were all stoked to get agents and managers and all that stuff. And they do a great job, for real. But they get some too. Yeah, they do, don't they? For real. Yeah, they get 10% for a manager, 10% to an agent,

and then 5% to a lawyer. Do you guys get a lawyer too? Yeah, he's the man. He's very cool. What's his name? Ben. Ben. Seems like a trustworthy legal name. All of our reps are actually very cool. What's his name? Ben. Ben. Seems like a trustworthy

legal name. All of our reps are actually really cool. Is there one rep you don't like? There's got to be someone in there. An assistant, maybe? No, all the assistants are cool. Nobody on the team is a bummer? No, I like them all. What about Micah? I know you guys work with Micah a lot. Micah, big teeth. He has one lazy

eye. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's his deal? Dude, I mean. I like him. You do? You're still cool with him? Yeah. Wow.

Even after all that stuff went public? He's ugly. Like anti-Semitic and all that stuff, you guys still support him? I'm ride or die with my people. That's sick. Wait, what happened? He did a whole like anti-Semitic rant online. It was like 40 minutes long. It was nuts.

What? Yeah. And he's Jewish. It was like the weirdest thing I think I've ever seen wait that's what that was about yeah well i gotta call some people no no sit down it's fine we'll take care of it later but i'm just saying you might want to delete him from your contacts he's in the netflix show yeah my kid well part of that speech is in there because i thought he was oh you guys use that speech on the show well i thought he was championing like, you know, his family. No, brother.

I don't think he was being funny. Oh. You know, now that I think about it, maybe it was a joke. No, now that I think about it, I... Are you tripped out? Well, that's like our opening scene. Yikes.

Well, I hope it works out. Dude. Let me ask you something. Neff sponsored you guys? Yeah, they made us a shirt. That's wild. Dude, it was cool.

Neff? Neff's tight. You're a Neff guy? Yeah, well, I'm not. I can't wear that stuff. Why not? I can see in the beanies, though. I can't wear a beanie.

No? Baseball hat only guy. I don't know. Beanies have never been. I grew up in Chicago. We wore beanies in the beanies, though. I can't wear a beanie. No, why not? Baseball hat only guy. I don't know. Beanies have never been. I grew up in Chicago. We wore beanies in the winter. You guys are California people. Yeah.

And so, like, beanies are cool for you to wear all year round. It doesn't fit my face. I don't have a good beanie face. What are you talking about? You've got a great face, buddy. Thank you, man. And I don't care what's on top of that head. I think you've got a nice face.

Let me see you with that hat on again. i'm getting more secure with it by the day yeah see that see backwards like that is almost like a beanie you know put your hand over your hair so i can't see your hair real fast that's a beanie dude you look good yeah i like wearing a beanie but you know i have to like straighten my hair if i'm gonna wear a beanie i got it you need the wings the wings. Yeah, I need the Dave Grohl look. Do we like to call it a beanie? Should we call it something else? They call it a toque in Canada.

Really? Tukes. I don't know if I'm ready to make that switch. You like beanie? I like beanie. But do you think it's adjacent to some... It's a little close to a racial epithet. Beanie.

It has nothing to do with Mexicans, but it's a skirt and a little too close to the line. Yeah, you'd get in trouble if you're not clear. Well, let's rename it today. Let's do that. Okay. Because I know that you guys,

but Chad and JT have always been guys that are, you're man of the people. You're men of the people. Uh, you want to create unity. All jokes aside that we've made on this show. These guys are, are,

uh, they're not racist. They're not homophobic. They're not transphobic. There's no phobia with you guys. You're supportive of all communities, all groups of people, all types,

all races, all kinds. So let's remove the hate from the little thing that you wear, the net knit cap on your head. What are we calling it? It's now called a what? Um, my instinct was to make it sound close to another racist term.

You can do. But no, I didn't have the right thing ready, and I was going to get into hot water, because I don't think I was going to pull it off. We could have cut it out, but you know what? I appreciate that we have that option, but I was about to... I wanted to touch the fire.

What is it called? Dome tent. Dome tent. Dude. Sick. Master of it. He's so good with lingo. He just invents words.

This dude's like Shakespearean over here. Well, his vocabulary is off the charts. But I'm using established words. He uses new words, words that no one's heard before. What's more impressive though, I guess, this is two different kinds of intelligence, right? Yeah. Chad has got a hold on his creative intellect.

Yours is you're just a genius, a regular genius. Dude, I didn't know you were going to label me that, like, kindly. As far as I'm concerned, you're a genius. And I appreciate it.

Chad's just a different kind of genius. I won't let you down. You don't have to. I'm not holding you to anything. I think you're going to be fine with or without me. I feel that pressure though. What are you talking about? I'm not going to be judging you whatsoever.

Fuck yeah, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm not going to be judging you whatsoever. Fuck yeah, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, I want you to fly as free as you can fly. I also want you to be careful. I want to be careful, too. But I'm careful at times, and then there's times where I think I need to not be careful because I think it's good for the spirit.

Be a little reckless. Yeah, it's important, right? Sure. Depends. Well, it depends how you're reckless. When are you reckless? I think it's important if you're on a dirt bike. For sure, yeah.

If I'm on my 250, I got to let it rip a little bit. If you're ripping, you definitely got to let that thing go. Are you hucking it sideways? Are you whipping that shit to the side? Yeah, I'm doing a little tail whip when I come off the tabletop. If you're doing that, then you definitely got to be a little reckless. Yeah, and I'm not wearing a helmet. JT's really good at this.

The kids wear a helmet. You're really good at the vertical leap. I love that, dude. Yeah. You go straight up. The high jump. I go straight up. Like Tommy Cowers.

You remember that guy from X-Men? Oh, yeah, dude. Dude, he's like the next Tommy Cowers. I'm trying to kiss the sky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever fallen? Yeah, a bunch. Yeah, I can see that.

But fall seven times, get up eight. Dwayne Wade. That was Dwayne Wade that said that? It was a commercial for him. Fall seven times and get up eight? Where do you rank Dwayne Wade all time was Dwayne Wade that said that? It was a commercial for him. Fall seven times and get up eight? Where do you rank Dwayne Wade all time as a two guard? All time. All time.

Oof. Top ten. For sure. Top five, no. Top ten, yeah. Six. Six or seven. Yeah, he's right around there. Can you name him? Of my top? Yeah. No. In here, we pour whiskey.

Hey, boys. Everybody likes to last a little bit longer. You know, when you're in the bedroom and you're making the love and you got that playlist down in the background, you don't want to make it through only one song and then finish. No chance. You want to last a little bit longer, and it's not that big of a deal that you don't last that long. Millions of men deal with

this. Not a thing. Who cares? That's why Roman has you covered. The Roman swipes are clinically proven to help you last longer in bed. Get yourself some Roman swipes, baby. They knew what they're doing over there. You take care of every other part of yourself to get ready for the bedroom. You want to look good. You want to stink good. You want to feel good. Why not make your old pita patter downstairs last longer? Who cares if it doesn't? You can stretch it out now. Now with technology, they got you covered. There's no prescription needed whatsoever for Roman swipes. PE treatments are safe. They're effective and they're used by millions of men. So you are not alone on that island. And plus I got free two day shipping. You want it to you fast. If you got a date in two or three days and you're effective, and they're used by millions of men. So you are not alone on that island. And plus, I got free two-day shipping. You want it to you fast if you got a date in two or three days,

and you're like, baby, you got to give me a couple days. I got something coming in the mail that might help us out a little bit. Look, if you want to make it to the end of your playlist while you're making some love, you got to get yourself some Roman swipes. Go to GetRoman.com slash whiskey today to help yourself last just a little bit longer. Go to getroman.com slash whiskey today. If you're approved, which you probably will be, you're going to get $10 off your first order of these Roman swipes. Trust me, they are wonderful. Proven, safe, effective. You're going to dig it. And so is the person that you're last a little bit longer with.

You're going to dig it, and so is the person that you'll last a little bit longer with. That's GetRoman.com slash whiskey. GetRoman.com slash whiskey. Hey, listen, a lot of you guys know I like to golf. I like to swing the old stick. And I got to tell you, collared shirts, dress shirts, those old days of stiff, uncomfortable, nonsense dress shirts and collared shirts and polos, they're gone. They're gone.

And thanks to Mizzen and Main, I love this company. I really do. They sent me a bunch of different kinds of shirts. I wore a button-down short sleeve the other night at dinner, and I was looking fire. And they also sent me some golf shirts, some polos, and beautiful. What I love about these things genuinely is they're fitted well. I cannot stand boxy, ugly dress shirts. They bother me so much. Unless you got a terrible body

and then these things aren't for you. This is for people who love the way they look. But Mizzen and Mane makes great stuff. I really like it, man. It's very comfortable, it's flexible. They've got machine washable clothing that you can skip those trips to the dry cleaner. And it was created out of Washington, D.C. Their founder saw a guy run up a hill in a sweat-soaked, wrinkled dress shirt and thought,

there has to be a better way. They set out to make being comfortable and looking great the new normal. And boy, oh boy, have they done it, man. They've gotten famous for their dress shirts, but Miz and Demain now makes incredibly comfortable flannels, no-tuck shirts, which is huge because Papa doesn't like to tuck. Come on, what am I? How old am I? Performance polos, chinos, and so much more in all performance fabrics with modern tailoring. And it is really nice that the fabric is very kind of loose and stretchy. It's not stiff. I really do love it. Honestly, wear it to work, wear it

afterwards to drinks, wear it to golf, wear it to go hang out, wear it to work out. Mizzen and Maine just turned 10. They've got a great deal running right now on their site all summer long. Right now, if you go to mizzenandmaine.com, use the promo code whiskey, you'll receive $25 off any regular price order of $130 or more. That's $25 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D M-A-I-N, Mizzen and Maine, dot com and use the promo code whiskey. Ginger.

I like gingers. That was, dude, respect. Yeah. I don't want to name him because I don't want to get into a... You didn't take the bait. That's why you're a vet. You know why, dude? This was going to be a war. It was going to be a sports argument about who likes what. Dude, people will come after you about it they will dude they will uh you forgot this guy you're like dude it was off the top what do you want me to do yeah i didn't have time greatest uh i will say uh greatest assist greatest my three top assists

nba players that are the best assists assisters they're not assisters because they're guys passers passers is a weird way to say it though I think it's way more normal than assisters the top three

greatest assisters not to do to big time you dude the top three greatest dudes who huck in the NBA yeah

see dude it just flows out of my dome uh no dude don't do it why not

not this time not this time Jerry West Jerry West Jerry West um John Paxson really Jason Williams

oh dude Jason Williams dude you watch Jason Williams highlights from like come on man when he's playing like pick up

it's on loop in my head I'm watching it right now when I talk to you guys it's unbelievable dude that one pass that he does where he goes behind the back hits it with the elbow

and he hits it with the elbow so sick it's unbelievable. Dude, for the longest time, I thought Machine Gun Kelly was Jason Williams. Show me that he's not. That's what I'm saying. Show me those two dudes in the same room. Yeah.

Machine Gun Kelly is the guy he dates in Megan Fox. Yeah. They're married, I think. They're very in love. Yeah. Are they really? For sure. They like tantric sex and organic smoothies.

They did one of those quizzes where you have to like guess what your partner said and they crushed it well let's see if you guys could do that I think we could oh nice

yeah alright so I want you to close your eyes well not both of you just one of you I'll go first okay close your eyes and plug your ears

alright what is what is Chad's no you have to close your what is Chad's no you have to close your what is Chad's favorite ice cream flavor and mouth it to me don't say it mouth it fuck

I know he loves McFlurries quiet down dude yeah but what flavor fuck cookies and cream alright you gotta plug your ears alright Fuck. I'm gonna go cookies and cream. Got it. Oreo cookies and cream. All right. All right, you gotta unplug your ears.

All right. What is your favorite ice cream? Flavor, but ice cream. Ice cream flavor? The world of ice cream. What is your favorite ice cream thing? I'm on fucking pins and needles. Man.

You really... Fuck, man. I mean... Well, look, you guys said you were like Megan Fox and MGK. Yeah, I mean... I mean, you said at the top, we're simple dudes. I like chocolate.

Chocolate. Okay. Not like a... Not like a McFlurry? Well, I do love McFlurries. What flavor of McFlurry? M&M. Alright, man. Way off. I fucked that up. McFlurry? M&M alright man way off I knew it was M&M no I said Oreo

I do love Oreo see you guessed that I would say Oreo though because you know me so well no I mean I like if you're gonna why are you doing this dude I'm gonna go M&M every time I'm sorry no I forgot

I forgot it was M&M but time. I'm sorry. M&M, I want to say. No, I forgot. I forgot it was M&M. I forgot it was M&M. But McFlurries are your favorite, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Was that you have to get a McFlurry when you go to McDonald's? Sometimes you just get it when you're not going to McDonald's?

Yeah. Well, that's how he celebrates, too. After we would have a nice night, he'd be like, I'm going to get a McFlurry yeah like I you know I took a break from drinking I took a break from no it's okay dude don't do that to yourself you're okay

you're so nice yeah don't beat yourself up I took two years off from drinking and during that time welcome back thank you yeah

with the straight up during that time it's like after you get off drinking for a while you just crave I would crave like a reward and so McFlurries became that, especially after like stand-up shows.

Right. Yeah. Okay. Are you guys doing a tour together? We are. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we just started touring like late winter of last year. Is it going good?

It's fun, man. It's so fun. Do you guys go on stage at the same time or are you split? We're split. And people don't know that and they'll book us on shows and be like, you guys are going up together, right? We're like, no, we do stand up separately.

How much time do you guys do each? 20 to 30, depending. Sometimes we'll bring Strider. Strider's good. He's so good, man. And then Joe Morisi, he's sort of in our crew too. Love Joe.

He's the best. Both those guys are. He just moved back. Just moved back. Yeah, we're stoked. Shaved his head, moved back. Yeah. He's like a new guy.

He's thin too. He looks great yeah he lost a bunch of weight he looks amazing you guys don't ever have to worry about that you're skinny your whole life no dude I got fat for a while really?

yeah how fat is fat? I wasn't fat fat but I was puffy right yeah now you're trim and shredded now you're jack dude

it was COVID dude I just had so much free time I just started doing CrossFit so you were getting you were getting fat before COVID then COVID saved your life basically is what you're saying. Totally. So say thank you. Thank you COVID. And I got on Seroquil, uh, antipsychotic and that makes you put on weight. Seroquil. Man, I wish we could run an ad for that right now. I call it Serochill. Very antipsychotic.

Yeah. You're losing your mind a little bit. You know, I don't actually think I was that bad. I think I'm like LA bipolar, which is which they, like, they just put it on you if you're just like kind of wild and have a lot of anxiety. Did you have psychotic breaks? No, never. You never had a break? I was always making sense to the people around me. I never had like a break where I was like speaking in like a language that wasn't intelligible.

Do you think you could do that? I don't know. Maybe. Try to speak to me in a language that's unintelligible. No, it didn't work. You understand me. Huh? You understood that. Yeah, I know exactly what you said. Can you speak in tongues? Yeah. Hit me with it.

You sound like one of the senators in Star Wars it does kind of that's how I was fascinated with anytime I went to go see what's it called why can't I dude what's wrong with me the little cute little yellow dudes man what's wrong with me? The little cute little yellow dudes, man, what's wrong with me? Oh, Minions. Minions,

yeah, my brain just went blank. I love that the language that they come up with. Yeah, it's charming. It's so sweet. It makes you wonder, like, how did the writers come up with that? I think they just did what we did. You think they were just fucking around in a room, just making noises? I think they were just fucking around, dude. The more I'm in Hollywood, the more I'm like, none of these people know what they're doing. We're all

just making it up. William Goldman, a screenwriter who Hollywood, the more I'm like, none of these people know what they're doing. We're all just making it up. William Goldman, a screenwriter who wrote The Sting, he said, number one rule of Hollywood, no one knows anything. Yeah, no, we don't. I've learned that about adulthood, dude. The older I get, how old are you guys? 34. 31. I thought you were the same age.

We thought we were for a long time. He's like my big bro. So I do feel like he's older than me. Younger guy, big bro. Yeah, for sure. Because you're very responsible. You're grounded. You got your shit in order. Dude, he does. You for a long time. He's like my big bro. So I do feel like he's older than me. Younger guy, big bro. Yeah. Because you're very responsible. You're grounded. You got your shit in order. Dude, he does.

You have a 401k. No, but I love to email. Do you have a retirement plan? Oh, yeah. You have insurance? No, but I know a guy who gets it. He's holding money for me. Yeah.

You don't have any of that shit, do you? No, I do. I have friends. And I have like a friend for like every spot. I have like a doctor friend an insurance friend a lawyer friend is your doctor friend an actual doctor

or he yes okay he's a legend and he's now Chad's like doctor friend I love him yeah

so you call your he's your doctor friend not you're just your doctor no he's my he's your friend as well he's my boy I love him to death even if he wasn't a doctor

would he not tell you the truth given you know what if he was like you know what if you went in to see him and he didn't tell you the truth because you're his boy before his doctor? No, he's my boy because he tells me the truth.

So it's doctor first, homie second. Because if it was homie first, doctor second, you'd be in trouble. Dude, you know what's funny is he's my homie first and that's why I trust him as my doctor second because I know he'll tell me the straight scoop. See, that scares me, my friend. I'd rather have a doctor first, homie second. Oh, so you think he's a little biased. Like he's going to give me like favorable. Yeah. Yeah. No, dude, not my homies. No way. I got to tell you, dude, you take an oath when you become a doctor. I was a doctor for 14 years before I did stand up. Really? Yeah. And I took an oath and in the oath legitimately, it says you got to be doc first,

homie sec. What kind of doctor are you were you was i yeah i'm no longer a doctor anymore you're a proctologist yeah proctologist you're a doctor of funny bro grazie i don't have my phd yet though no do you do bro no i don't i applied and they said you're one of the top doctors in the country you think that dude and i've gone around being a laugh doctor for a while now and i'm'm still in my residency. I'm still working through it. You know what? But I think the fact that you maintain that mentality is why you are one of the top doctors.

Appreciate you, dude. Yeah, I was a proctologist for 14 years. Dude, nice. That's assholes. It just got old, dude. It's just like staring at butts is a bummer. It's a bummer. That would never bum me out.

It bums me out. Let me tell you something. 47%. I did the math 47 of people uh don't clean their butthole whoa so yeah if i saw 100 people out 47 these guys would just have dirty dirty dingers and it was tough to sift through that's disgusting you were watching like porn hub and you're like i should be an ass man but that gives a distorted view of ass yeah because those are always clean yeah yeah those are always clean. Yeah, those are always clean. Now I'm a comic.

Now I'm a comic and a friend. Did you guys ever want to be anything else? No. I wanted to be an imagineer. Design Disney rides, roller coasters. I think that would be the sickest job. Do you have one in your mind right now? A roller coaster?

Mm-hmm. Take me through it. I'm closing my eyes now. Take me through it. Go. All right. So it's a vertical hill. Whoa.

So you go straight up. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Am I on one of the clink, clink, clink things on the way up? Yeah, yeah. Click, click, click, click, click. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. And then at the top, you see like a huge animatronic of JT. And he's like, good luck, dude.

He's giving you a shocker. Oh, shit, dude. And then you go do a 90-degree drop. Straight down. Yeah. Super dangerous. I love it. Wow.

And then you go into a tunnel that's just JT's mouth. Oh, cool, dude. And then it turns into it's a small world, and it's just JT dancing. And he's just giving you a motivational speech. Wait, dude, I know how this one ends. Have we slowed down at this point? I know how this one ends. Okay, what happens now?

And then, Andrew, keep your eyes open for this one. Then JT kisses Chad. Oh, dude. Dude, I like how that ride ends. Dude, I love how much you hate dude kisses. How many times have you guys dude kissed before the show? No, these are our first ones. No, no, dude.

We did some. Oh, we did one on the show. We did like three. Yeah, yeah. It didn't make the cut, but. Well, who was that? You think that was just for JT then? What's up?

You think the kisses were just for him? The director was like, let JT get this out. Yeah. You just got to knock. Who directed, by the way? Dan Lucchese. Dan Lucchese. He Who directed, by the way? Dan Lucchese. Dan Lucchese, monster, dude. A legend.

Dan Lucchese. He's British, dude. Yeah. Dude, we kind of hired him because he was British. He did have the best take on the show. Yeah.

But like, you know, we met with showrunners and all of them were solid, but he had a British accent and we were like, yeah, duh. Yeah. What, like, how did he,

is he posh? No, well, he also, he was like like he started out making skate videos and they're like that's us and then he transitioned into like basically our style he'd done like prank stuff before yeah and then he also was like hey i'm gonna make you guys look like legends that's a really good impression of a guy who doesn't know how to do a british accent that's very good. I've been working on it, bro. Thank you. That's really good. What's your British accent? What's your British accent?

All right, then. Cheerio, peep-pop, and a tip-top to you. It's probably one of the best in the business. But, dude, your face does a lot of the work for you. Well, I'm a trained actor, dude. You're a good actor. Thank you. Bring me that umbrella. I'm ready to go outside. So it goes to Australian real fast.

That's what you did for your 007 audition, right? Yeah, it's exactly right. Yeah, you could be James Bond, bro. Yeah, I could. Would you feel... Would you feel pressure being James Bond? What? Would you feel pressure being James Bond? No. It's not like there's a legacy to it or anything.

I don't think anybody cool has done it. Name one James Bond that was cool. Exactly. All those dudes were lame. Dude, you just blew my mind. You know what I mean? Name one James Bond that was a cool guy ladies man like me.

None of them. Do you think you fuck better than all the James Bonds? Dad, what are you talking about? There's only one guy in Hollywood who strokes better than me. Only one. Who is it? Jason Statham. Whoa.

That's a fuck machine. Yeah, bald guys leave the pipe. Fuck machine. Yeah. He's a fuck machine. He's a fuck machine. I've got to go. He's a fuck machine. He's a fuck machine. I've got to go. I'm a fuck machine.

Hey, Jason, how'd you fuck? I'm a fuck machine. You fuck, Jason? Yeah. Hey, baby girl, over here. Come ride my dick before I got to go. I'm a fuck machine. Gentle now.

Gentle. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down. I'm about to cum. I'm about to nut. I. Slow down. I'm about to cum. I'm about to nut. I miss that guy. I'm about to nut.

What happened to him? Dude, I heard before sex, I've heard before sex, he does pull-ups with a boner. And then he drops down. So when he puts his dick down, she's there. When he goes up and up,

that's, dude, you got to be efficient. Yeah, for sure. You got to be efficient. Make use of your time. Jaters, what were you going to be if you weren't going to be a comedian? Dude, I don't know. I think I would have been a high school teacher.

Yeah. Cool. What are we talking? I think I would have taught general life philosophy, but if that's not- General life philosophy. I didn't take that. Yeah, but if that's not an available subject, I think I would have done English. Yeah, you do have a nice proficient

vocabulary oh really you do seem like you're well versed in like if i throw a big word at you you'll know what it is i hope so yeah throw it at me okay um kind of hammered now but i'm ready oh seriously is that gonna affect your no i'm ready because you would do that when you would teach you right you get slammed before you die drunk Can you imagine there's teachers that don't get drunk before they teach? Whoa. What are you doing? I don't know. Sober teaching would be miserable.

Weird. I'd be lit, dude. We had an econ teacher in high school, Mr. Hart. Shout out. I think he's dead. He would get wasted before class. And we knew. No one snitched, though, dude.

Nobody snitched. I was surprised. Not one kid ratted him out. But he'd drink vodka and weed, no. Isn't that a beautiful thing when no one snitches? Yeah, dude, see? Isn't this the message we're trying to send the world right now? Don't be a snitch because it's so

much nicer when no one snitches. Dude, that was like when Michael Sam, like the first openly gay player to go into the NFL draft, like none of his teammates, they all knew he was gay for a year. It never got leaked to the media. They all kept it in the closet. They were waiting for exactly, but by his choice.

He was like, don't tell anybody I'm gay. You know how many times I've said that to somebody and it gets right out? I was like, don't tell anybody I'm gay. Right away, your friends are calling each other. Dude, Santino's gay. You know where I saw him? At Starbucks on Highland with another dude in the middle of the week kissing.

And it's like, yeah, maybe I'm running a bit. Have you kissed a guy? Yeah. Who? Bobby Lee's my best friend. You think I haven't kissed that guy? Dude, we did his podcast last week. He shows his butthole.

Yeah, he'll do that. And his dick. Well, his dick, yeah. He'll show his dick. It's pristine. This podcast is better than his podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's no doubt. Oh, yeah. And it's not an argument. He'll show his dick. It's pristine. This podcast is better than his podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's no doubt.

Oh, yeah. And it's not an argument. I'm not trying to make you guys choose sides, but obviously it is. Thank you. Thank you, boys. Thank you. I know you thought it,

and I just wanted to put it in your head after you thought it. You know? I do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, who do you respect more as a person? That's a good question.

No, it's not. It's very straightforward. It's me. Who do you respect more? Out of me and Bobby? Yeah. Honestly? Honestly, out of me and Bobby, I probably respect Ken Jeong the most.

Yeah. He's probably the premier Korean to me. Small dong warrior. Is he? Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah, dude, he let it fly to the whole niche. How much would it take financially for you guys to show your penis on a movie, on a major box office movie?

Zero dollars. You'd do it for free? I'm ready. You're down to show your dick? a movie, on a major box office movie. It was zero dollars. You'd do it for free. I'm ready. You're down to show your dick. Always. Season two. I hope so. Tune in.

Fingers crossed. I'm more of a money man with this whole tax situation. Of course, yeah. You need to make back what you gave. I'd say probably a thou. Thou buck, and you're definitely showing your ding dong.

Yeah. Balls too, or just dick? Balls too, for sure. But I'd i'd say jt of the two of us He's got the best balls. I already know it Because his skin gets really tan any friend I ever had who got tan skin always had a nice sack. Is it stretchy? I have a huge nutsack. Yeah, any tan friend I had they always could stretch it like around their legs You could do the flying squirrel. You can pull it, can't you? I can do all the tricks. Can you tuck your nuts?

What does that mean? You tuck your nuts. Like between my legs? Up in your butt. Yeah. Can you tuck them up? Are they long enough to go up to your butt, inside your butt cheeks? I've never tried that, but I'm willing to.

We had a bunch of friends that could tuck their nuts in high school. Do you want me to do it right now? No. Yeah, I don't want you to do that. No. Yeah, I don't want you to do that, dude. Because you're a little buzzed right now, and I know you'll try. And I don't want to have to drive you to the ER with your nuts in your butt.

Yeah, dude, that's crazy. Going to the ER with your nuts in your butt? They just make you cough. That would suck. It would come right out. Dude, one time we were hammered, and I accidentally pushed him off a cliff. And his sack just inflated like a parachute. Yeah, it landed.

It just floated down. It was like Dennis Rodman in Double Trouble. How far was the drop? 600 feet. Yeah, but he's wearing chubbies, so you know how chubbies are kind of like short? So his sack was coming out the whole time. On purpose.

And then I just sort of like, we were doing that dance you do in middle school, you know, the synchronized dance? What's the one? Where it's like, and step to the back. The electric slide. The electric slide, yeah. The electric slide and during one of the moves I like hip checked him and he just fell off

and just floated down. Whoa. But your nut saved you. Yeah. Your sack, sorry. My balls were like, dude you're not dying today. Not today. You got too much in your future.

Yeah, not today bro. That's sick. Yeah, it is cool. It inflated so violently that actually just like the air like whipped me back. Oh, so you got hurt. Yeah. Show you're right, huh? Dude, yeah.

That's funny. Actually, going back to the point about doctors, would you rather have a bro or a doctor? Yeah. I agree with you on doctors because I racked my nuts recently and I like, it was like all bruised and stuff. Your nuts act? Yeah. And I showed it to JT and he was like looks great and I really appreciated that but then I went to a doctor and he was like

oh Jesus and I was like that's what I needed to hear. Right. It's gotta be doctor first bro second. Just telling you. What did you rack your nuts on? The bleachers. I was actually I was trying to play basketball because there was like a basketball game coming up. I haven't played in a while so I was like and all these kids were like occupying the courts and stuff so I was like being all cool in a while. So I was like, and all these kids were like occupying the courts and stuff.

So I was like being all cool in the bleachers. I was like, I'll just wait for one to open up. As soon as one opens up, I trip off the bleachers, fall forward, and land straight into my sack. Was this on the show? No. This is your real life. This was all alone, and I swear to God,

I fell down on the ground on my back, and I was like, oh, oh. And this kid was right there. He's like, are you okay, man? It was the most embarrassing thing. When a child is like, you all right, grown adult man who racked himself? He was like 14. He's like, are you okay, dude?

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I stopped skateboarding when I realized you could hurt your penis. That always scared me me hurting your penis you guys are big skate rats huh no I like to surf oh okay okay you said the guy was a skateboard director right he directed skate videos

this Lucchese guy that was the vibe it was the tone but it wasn't like our specific so you're a surf guy yes who's the greatest surfer of all time? Greatest surfer of all time?

Yeah. I'd say competitively Kelly Slater. No doubt, huh? Yeah. Who not competitively? Who's just like a nutso that rips?

Nutso that rips. I mean, Dane Reynolds is up there. Have you ever heard of him? No. He's up in Ventura. No, but any name you're going to name

other than Kelly Slater, I won't know. Why do you love that one guy? Oh, Julian Wilson? Yeah. Because I look like him. He's a hot dude. Julian Wilson.

Yeah, and I would always aspire to be more like Julian because like every one time I saw him in Santa Cruz, I was total like fanboy, like the most starstruck I've ever been because I was like, he's just like kind of like a hot Australian dude that rips. So I had a poster of him in my car and I I was like, hey, dude, can you sign this? Cute. Did he sign it? Yeah. Did you ever hang out?

Did you want to kick him with him? No, I'm too shy. I ran away afterwards. You are a shy guy, huh? Yeah, yeah. How do you break out of your shy shell? I like performing. I like being on stage and stuff.

That's the way to get out. Yeah. I mean, for me, that was always sort of uh i was always really really shy but then when we're acting or like doing stand-up and stuff it's like you have a mic and stuff and that's that always felt like an outlet for me to for sure let my and i've gotten less and less shy as i've gotten along but that was sort of my outlet i'd say how did you guys meet then? Doing a beer bong. Four-hose beer bong at Bryson's party. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. The Mount Chugmore from Amazon, $25.99.

Oh, yeah, I've seen it. That's killer. It was fun, dude. Was it immediate friendship? You know what? It grew kind of organically. I think the thing about Chad is that at first I knew he was a cool dude, but I didn't realize how much substance there was to him.

And then as I got to know him, I was like, oh, this dude is really dialed in in terms of like— He's a deep dog. He really is. There's a lot going on in there. Oh, thanks. Big time, dude. You know?

Thanks, man. Same with this dude. Yeah, different though, for sure. Yeah, we're different, but similar. Nope. this dude. Yeah, different though, for sure. Yeah, we're different. But similar. Nope. I think you're very different. The only thing you guys have in common is that you're both geniuses, like I told you.

Thanks. Outside of that, you're remarkably unique. Do you consider yourself a genius? No. I'm what they call a quantum. Do you know what that is? No. I'm a superior being. Better than all those around. Do you know what that is? no I'm a superior being better than all those around

did you always feel that way? oh yeah I don't think I've ever not felt that way yeah I've kind of always been a quantum so you were like second grade and you were like second grade what is that?

like you're six oh I know oh what's second grade oh school? yeah oh brother you don't go to school when you're a quantum

whoa so when you come out of the birth canal, you're blessed immediately as a quantum. They know. They get kind of an email alert that you're entering the world. And then they send a couple of quantum heads to come over to bless you, to say, you know, this is kind of your future. You're going to be better than everybody.

And then you kind of live a life of mystery from then on. Like I told you, a doctor before, this little bullshit comedy thing I'm doing for a while. Next up, I have to be an astrophysicist, which is kind of daunting, but I'm ready to do it. It's a great time, that new Webb telescope. It's sick. It's major.

It's so sick. I love those photos. Yeah, I mean, come on, dude. Are they real? I'm still trying to figure it out. Is the Earth flat? Dude, honestly, I believe come on dude. Are they real? I'm still trying to figure it out. What do we is the earth flat? Dude, honestly, I believe every conspiracy theory and I believe none of them. So we're like a good contrast that way Yeah, well cuz here's the deal. It's like I get that the earth is round in people's heads

But if you put a ball on the ground right there, is it gonna roll away? No, no, it's flat Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like I mean the moon alien satellite So obvious. Yeah, 100%. Liver King, natty. Dude, the Liver King? I've been following his diet. Dude, he's not natty, dude. No, he's the, yes, he is, dude.

He's the natty king. No way, dude. Liver King has never taken PEDs in his entire life. Never. No HGH, no nothing, no testosterone. Never, dude. That dude is natty as fuck. He doesn't even lift.

You know that he doesn't even lift he doesn't lift does he not work out no he eats bowl testicles he doesn't like if you eat enough bowl balls

and liver you will naturally just get jacked facts are facts dude but he tans yeah duh that's a part alright let it know

that's a whole part of being a liver god is getting you have to be tan eat nuts and liver and you become a jacked god. Superior. What's your take on Andrew Tate? I don't have a take.

I leave him. Oh, nice. I don't take him. I leave him. I leave him right outside. He is a, if I'm not making a joke, he a brilliant uh internet troll he's extremely he's really he's a fucking genius yeah that guy is as good as anybody we've ever seen manipulate the internet he's like donald trump of dude that's such a good call it's like the same kind of troll where he's

a genius he he manipulated people to following his gossip basically andrew tate is just a misogynistic evangelical preacher, right? And the same way that those people were able to, like, puppeteer millions of people to, like, agree with them wholeheartedly, he's the exact same way. These are just very smart people who put their intelligence into something evil. Right, and they

see an opportunity, like, something that's not being spoken about, and they're like, okay, there's an audience for this. Yeah. And I can, like, counter what the popular narrative is, and then they just go for it. It's brilliant. The guy's brilliant. I mean, he's a fucking, he's a psycho, but he's brilliant. He's, he's all over the place.

I don't think he believes in anything he says, but he just also knows it's going to make a lot of money. You know, it's, it's, it's Trump did the same thing. There's so many of these guys that are good at that, but you know what? I'd rather have honest, cool, smart, genuine guys like Chad and JT. Bro, thanks, man. Try. Yeah, thank you, man. Like, you guys aren't misogynistic. You don't need all that. You don't have any hate.

No. No, it doesn't work for me. No. Like, anytime I've tried to be angry at people, it hasn't helped my life. No. Like, try to be angry at me right now, okay? Ready? Like, I just cut you off in traffic, and I roll down my window. What the fuck, dude? What's your fucking problem, bud?

I'm just in a bad mood, man. And I was taking that on you, but I'm sorry. Oh. Are you fucking JT? Yeah. I just saw your Netflix show. Did you like it? That shit is trash.

I respect your opinion, bro. That's a really good way to handle it that's probably how it would be a lot of other people would probably get mad but that guy was mean I think that would crack me up yeah he said it was trash

yeah as long as he watched it what's the funniest mean comment you guys have received about your work funniest mean comment you know what's funny is like when people run into you at like a bar

and they're like hammered, but they're like a fan, but they also want to like not give you credit. Sure. One time a dude was like, this was like very inside to what we do, but he was like, I don't know.

I like laughed at something he said. He was like, or I said I didn't understand something he said. And then he was like, oh yeah, just take advantage of more people from Orange County who don't know you're filming them. Oh, wow.

That's a specific dart. That is a good dart. I know, but I didn't know the guy. I was like, wait, bro, do you want to be friends or are you trying to really hammer me? He's trying to belittle me, dude. Don't take advantage. Go take advantage of more people from Orange County

that don't know you're filming. You know, he didn't say it that well. That sounded really eloquent. Yeah, but that was the general idea, and I was know, he didn't say it that well. That sounded really, that was eloquent. Yeah, but he kind of, that was the general idea and I was like, oh, fuck, bro. Yeah.

Let me tell you something, you're not taking advantage of anybody. No, it's open camera. Anyone can see him. Yeah, you guys are just playing with the world that exists. Yeah, for sure. That's how I always saw it.

Dude, I, this one guy commented, he's like, his teeth don't match his face. Yeah, we're getting more of those now that's so good see those kind of I really like those

cause fuck you or you suck is such a loser comment hit me dude say something funny say something funny and then I'm in do you read your comments? no how do you resist that? I just don't give a shit

it's hard point Um, it's hard because I kind of like I used to love reading comments because I liked engaging with fans but now my engagement with fans is like You know, it's this it's like i'm trying my best to bring fans shit that I like people I think are talented and cool and then let the rest kind of do itself But I do like to try to engage with fans. It's just difficult, dude, because it's so much noise

that the people who probably really like you don't say as much. You know what I mean? I think that's true. That's the bummer. It's like the, you know, but I do try sometimes to like see if there's engagement. But a lot of times it's, you know,

people, even people fighting within comments gets old. That like someone says something, someone starts another argument and you're like oh this is a waste of all everybody's time so i don't know man i don't think i really give a fuck about uh that stuff anymore because it it doesn't um i don't know there's not it's not as uh uh uh whole anymore it's it's pieces of bullshit all over the place. You know, even, even like I was wondering on things that when you go on like Rogan,

for example, are you interested in how it would, I feel like on bigger things like that, you have more of kind of like, I want to see what the general gist is. Or is that still doesn't apply? I don't care. No,

I don't fucking care. I mean, I, it's like you do the show because you want to promote something or you want to talk about something, uh, you know, and, and that show specifically was just people looking to say oh you said this and that was wrong or this you know right so no i couldn't that was kind of maybe the time i stopped giving a fuck yeah when i went on that show i was like what the fuck i don't give

a shit that like they're people are gonna to like you or not like you anyway, so why are you sifting to find out who liked you? You'll figure it out. You'll know. They'll buy your ticket to come see you live or support you or you'll grow in the community naturally like you guys have, and then the rest is up to the fucking universe. You guys have done a good job growing.

You guys are people I talk to a lot of other comics who are, I would say, like a generation younger than me. You know, you guys. people I talk to a lot of other comics who are, you know, I would say like a generation younger than me. You know, you guys. And everyone liked you guys. Everyone respected you guys. Everyone thought you guys were original and cool. And so that's how you grow. And then you don't need to listen to other shit.

Just listen to what you guys fucking put out and what you guys like, you know? No, it's true. Yeah, I think at first it would like hit me like right in the gut, in the gut when you first start getting comments and stuff, but yeah, you sort of grow out of it where you just sort of like... Imagine listening to a band that you don't like just to say something mean to them. That's weird.

If you think about who... It's so weird, dude. It's also like, who comments? People that have some semblance of time. Commenting, I don't have beef with because some people really want to share a thought or a feeling or to connect with other people in the community that's cool yeah but but that people that spend countless hours doing it louis just said a thing about this on rogan about how he was like you know you have to i'm gonna i'm gonna fuck it up but

paraphrasing he was basically saying like, this is, to some people, it's their whole world. So you can't get in that world. That's theirs. That's theirs anyway. Like you don't want to enter that fucking ring. That's nuts. So why even focus or pay attention to it?

Let people enact it on their own. It's like their little play. Yeah. Like it's just talk too. It's just talk. It's like in a conversation, it's just like one sentence yeah i'm like it's just talk too like it's just like if you it's like in a conversation it's just like one that's what i mean it's just that's their own little fucking vacuum and let it exist you know like you guys kind of live in your own little vacuum totally yeah when you guys play together when you guys are in sync like watch i bet you

guys are thinking right now of the same color on the count of three one two three pink so you see you see what i'm saying fuck dude do you see what I'm saying? Fuck, dude. Do you see what I'm saying? That was legit, too. Yeah. I know what I'm doing over here, man. This isn't Jimmy Fallon, dude. This is the real deal. Dude, you're a great host.

You're really fun. Thank you very much. You are really rock solid, dude. Am I good? Yeah, you're awesome. You're really good. Well, I think what it is is I only put people on the show that I really want to talk to that I like.

Oh, thanks, man. That's good, dude. Yeah. And I've been wanting to have you guys on for a while. I wanted to come do yours, but I'm never going to do it. Oh, really? I respect that, dude. No chance.

In fact, I'll have you get back here before I'd ever do your show. I kind of dig that. Yeah, because I want you here in my space. I trust you here. I don't trust ATC. I can't go over there. I don't know what goes on. Do we do it out of my apartment? Oh, I'll come over. Yeah?

Okay, that's fine. Come over a little early. Where's your apartment? West Hollywood. Alright, so right here, guys, right down below is gonna be his address, JT's address. 425 North Stanley, unit one half. We were gonna put up a fake one, but that's cool. Dude, I want the crazies to come over. Bring it on.

No, you don't. I want them, dude. Put up a fake address, Joe. And slice that's cool. Dude, I want the crazies to come over. No, you don't. I don't want them, dude. Put up a fake address, Joe, and slice that one out. That's genuinely a real address, isn't it? It is, dude. You're insane, dude. You're a psychopath. No, I want them over, dude. Watch this.

This is the difference if you do. What's your address? Dude. Yeah, see? The stall. Never going to know. Yeah, he's never going to give that out. What's the worst that could happen?

Dude, the best last words. I hope they clip this show on the news. Well, I'm hammered now. Chameleon stabbed to death in his sleep. What's the worst that could happen? That clip just rotating over and over. That reminds me of my favorite dad joke.

What were the snowboarders' last words? Watch this. Oh. I was thinking about something deep. Yeah, I thought it would be something else too. That's a good, simple, obvious, clean joke. But it's straightforward, though. Here's a good one.

My dad told me. I said this at my parents' wedding when they got married. I was a little boy. My stepdad. Oh, okay, copy. I said, why did the turtle cross the road? Why? To get to the shell station.

You made that up as a kid? I was six. Wow, dude. Bro, beast, bro. That's pretty dope. That's really good. I got signed. That's the night I got signed.

Wow. Yeah, CAA was like, who is this kid? Oh, CAA. Yeah, CAA. Shout out. Wow, dude. Dude, it's better to get into it early, too.

Well, I got, it was bad, though. I got into, you know, here I was, six years old i come to hollywood i'm immediately famous you guys know you've seen my movies you know redhead in the city you've seen that one i'm sure you guys saw hotter than hot um i was cut out of home alone oh that's okay but i'm sure you guys saw some of the stuff that i did and then here i am nine years old i'm killing it i couldn't get more pussy and money I'm addicted to cocaine

you know what I mean I'm I'm every single night I'm at the Viper room and it's out of control and so I had to go away for a while

and kind of come back clean on the other side did you find yourself like where'd you go when I left when I like got sober and clean and left Livingston Montana

did you how do you know that? John Mayer, dude. Michael Keaton. They followed in my footsteps. You were the first one. You were the tip of the spear. You got damn right, dude.

I was the tip. I was the tip top. And everybody else kind of, where did Lil Santino go? They used to call me Lil Santino. Where did he go? Yeah, they copied Livingston, Montana. I was there for seven, eight years, something like that.

Just getting your head right. Dude, you were so good in Pay It Forward. Connecting. Oh, thank you, dude. Yeah. Thank you very much. You know what I'm really good in? The Orville.

You ever seen that show? Yeah. No. That was you? That is me. That's me. A lot of people are like, that's not you. I'm like, you better fucking believe it is, buddy.

Dude. The amount of people that tag me on that show, it's a shock. It's very funny. The internet, that's me a lot of people are like uh that's not you i'm like you better fucking believe it is buddy dude the amount of people that tag me on that show it's shock it's very funny the internet that's my favorite the internet's like do you crush on orville it's just some other fucking dorky redheaded dude is that for real yeah there's another there's a redheaded dude on orville people always tag me and they confuse you for them no they know they're in on the joke hey they know it's not me you're i'm not even kissing ass but like you're like a really good actor thank you you can really act well not

I do okay it's okay it's not bad there's some good stuff in there there's some scenes and stuff where I'm like whoa there's something

deep down inside I just did I just did an indie movie and this guy this actor Clancy Brown yeah great actor

from Highlander and Shawshank Redemption yeah he's amazing dude he's a great fucking actor. We just, we acted in this thing together, and then someone made a joke about me, this friend, and he said, oh no, he's good, he's dark. Something inside is dark. I said, oh yeah, thanks Clancy.

Dude, that's a good compliment. He's dark. Well, because you gotta have something brewing inside. You gotta have something to make it real. The only way you can be a good actor and have nothing inside is if you play you know like the happy-go-lucky all the time right you know what i mean like this is no disrespect at all at all say a name but cameron diaz always kind of played happy-go-lucky yeah and when she was in

gangs in new york and she had to go a little bit deeper it didn't quite work that didn't work yeah because it's not that dark dude she's she dark her life's been dope she's a mega babe who grew up in Long Beach right? Long Beach? yeah her and Snoop Long Beach Polly

right? and like good football there gangster shit yeah Dennis Wilson so here she is a mega babe

super cool very smart very nice and sweet not a lot of dark you know what I respect about her too? she had an MTV show about like it was like an eco show

where they like hiked or something like that. And Ava Mendez was in it and Ava Mendez farted and they all laughed about it and they kept it in the cut. That's cool. That is cool.

That is very cool. Also, shout out to Cameron Diaz for walking away from the business. That was the coolest thing. Genuinely, I mean it. That was the coolest thing

I think I've ever seen. She just stopped. Yeah, she's back. Did you see that? What? She's coming back? Dude,

yeah. She's in a movie with Jamie Foxx or Kevin Hart. Oh, that new vampire movie that's on Netflix? I don't know. I don't know if they— Dave Franco's in that. I saw his billboard.

Yeah. Are you guys getting a big billboard somewhere? We're supposed to get one, yeah. Sunset and Times Square? Times Square. Yeah. Wait, and you have one on Sunset right now? I think it's coming.

I think August 27th. They sent us an email, and they said it's coming. I hope so, because your show's on right now. Dude, you have a movie coming out, right? On Netflix. You worked with Mark. Mark, your buddy Mark? Mark Wahlberg and Kevin Hart.

Your homie Mark. How long have you guys been friends, you and Mark? Dude, I like that, man. You're a partner in Wahlbergers, aren't you? Yeah, we work out sometimes and his clothing company we're big investors which one what's his clothing company called

I don't know but I watched I was on a plane and I watched his like Wahlburg reality show where he's like investing in shit and he's got like a t-shirt company

and he's on top of it what do we think it's called just off the top what's it called wall shirts enforcers ooh

enforcers he's the 4am club you know that right the 4am club yeah yeah he's the 4am club Shirts. Enforcers. Ooh, enforcers. He's the 4 a.m. club. You know that, right? The 4 a.m. club. Yeah, yeah. He's the 4 a.m. club. He's up at 4. He prays, eats, works out.

Prays, works out, eats. Eats, works out, prays. And then, of course, ends it with pray, eat, workout. Whoa. So you acted with him? You guys were in a scene together? No. Him and Kevin.

We were like near each other. All my scenes were with Kevin. I just want to know how tall he is. Shorter than me. Shorter than I. I don't know how tall. That was probably the one week I didn't have my measuring tape on me. I should have. Usually I whip it right out.

When I start working with somebody, I go, Hey man, what's up? Hey, I'm Tim. Nice to meet you. Immediately, I want to know. Some of these guys are fake, I'm Tim. Isn't it nice to meet you? Immediately, I want to know. You're crushing Hollywood, man. Some of these guys are fake. Yeah. They're like, I'm 5'9". And you measure them and you're like, you're 6'4".

Right. Why are you fucking downplaying it? Interesting. And I'm tired of that shit in Hollywood. Everyone's like, we're so tiny. Yeah. Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller's almost 6'6".

Yeah, dude, I know. I saw him. Huge. You play small forward for like the Lakers? Like, what's going on here, dude? I know, dude. He's like 6'6", 230. And they always say, they're like pretending like, oh, he's a small Huge. You play small forward for like the Lakers? Like what's going on here, dude? I know, dude. He's like 6'6", 230. And they always say,

and they're like pretending like, oh, he's a small guy. It's not true. It's just really strange that they do that. I think they're worried about like intimidating people. That could be part of it. But I guess intimidation comes more from your attitude. Yeah, it's an energy thing.

Like you guys have great energy. Oh, thanks. You know, like if I bump into you on the street, like say hi to me. Hey. Love it. Hi. See what I like if I bump into you on the street, like say hi to me. Hey. Love it. Hi. See what I mean? I don't feel scared. I cultivate that.

Yeah, I feel like I want you guys to help me out with whatever I'm up to. Dude, I'm all here for it. And would you help me, by the way? I do need to move. You need to move? Tonight, I'm actually moving. Oh. Yeah, I'm down. Yeah, I got a thing, but I'm down. You'll help me though? This will take us like 12 or 13 hours max. Oh, it's nothing. Yeah. Yeah, it got a thing, but I'm down. You'll help me, though? This will take us like 12 or 13 hours max. Oh, it's nothing. Yeah.

Yeah, it's half a day. Can we kiss you afterwards? You better believe it. Wow. I want those lips on me. Have you been tested recently? Yeah, but I have herpes. You do? Like, genuinely. Mouth or body? Genital. You do? Yeah. How many times do you get breakouts?

Like, once a year. Is it bad? No, it's not bad. It never bothered me much. What does it look like? It looks like little volcanoes on your cock. Is it like a cluster? It's like a bunch come at once?

No, it's not too bad. Is it ever just like one guy shows up? Sometimes. Just one dude? Yeah. And what do you do? You just let it go away? I just take some Valtrex.

Do you remember the girl that gave it to you? I do. Can we say her name? No. Can we make up a name and pretend that that was her name? Yeah. And what do you do? You just let it go away? I just take some Valtrex. Do you remember the girl that gave it to you? I do. Can we say her name? No. Can we make up a name and pretend that that was her name? Yeah. Who gave it to you? Melissa.

Miss you. That's wild. So you remember the moment that you got it? I do, yeah. Oh, bummer. It was tough for like 10 minutes and then I got over it. Remember he told me me you called me and you're like

cause everyone was like no way dude cause it's just so no one talks about it but it's so prevalent everyone has it but nobody talks about it and I was just like

dude no like that's sort of like one of those things people are like that's just one of those things people say but that doesn't actually happen

they had it has he ever showed it to you his herb? oh big time yeah when you had a breakout remember how itchy I was when we were in SF together? Oh, dude. Yeah. He showed

me too and I was like, I was like, dude, that's sick. I thought it was chicken pox. Oh, no. Yeah, no, but it's herpes. You don't have anything? I'm trying to think. I don't think so. Fuck yeah, man.

I mean, I got chlamydia in college. Nice. Yeah, it's kind of tight. I don't think so fuck yeah man I mean I had I got I got chlamydia in college nice yeah it's kind of tight went to ASU so you got

it's like kind of inaugural you got to like get it once a year you got to get something once a year to kind of keep partying yeah they ask at ASU

they're like have you been infected yet and you're like I have and you have to have show proof it's kind of like Vaxx is now you know

like are you boosted it's like have you gotten your your clap card yeah have you gotten your clap show proof. It's kind of like Vaxx's now, you know? Like, oh, you boosted? It's like, have you gotten your- Your clap card? Yeah, have you gotten your clap card? Where'd you live freshman year? Did you live in that like Holiday Inn building that they had? Do you remember that one? I don't know.

It was like a converted Holiday Inn. I lived in PV Main is what it was called. Okay, I don't remember that one. But I used to visit there all the time. Why would you go? It was just so fun. It's a party. Yeah, Mill, dude.

Like the whole scene there was the best. Mill Ave, dude. Were you in a frat or anything like that I would I would I would go to fraternities and sneak in and I lived at one

for like six months or seven months alpha psi alpha psi sigadega or saniga alpha psi saniga

is that one of them I don't know yeah I used to kill it over there nice no I wasn't in a fraternity I couldn't I couldn't cut it

I didn't want people to fuck with me yeah I couldn't do that either that's for me I'm like why do I have to be to be friends with you I have to like

do like humiliating shit let me in and let us become friends and then then let's fuck with each other yeah let me volunteer for it right then I'm in

I'm the same way yeah you weren't in a frat were you I was which one hold on Pike yeah knew it for it. Right. Then I'm in. I'm the same way. Yeah. You weren't under frat, were you? I was. Which one? Hold on. Pike? Yeah. Knew it. Actually, I love... I have

older brothers, so I love the hazing. You did? Yeah, I was like, bring it on. That's masochistic. That's gross. I'm very masochistic. So you get off on the pain. I love pain. So if like a significant other yells at you, like a girl that you're dating yells at you. Oh, that's're dating yells at you that's my favorite you love that shit

oh fucking idiot you small dick loser dude you're never gonna come oh see yeah see then you're not hard

I like that too you like that you just like to be abused by women I like that too yeah that's kind of sick but not by my partner it has to be like

oh a third party no like it has to be when I'm single and like a stranger are you guys both single right now? No, we're both cool girlfriends. I just moved in with my lady. Yeah.

Congrats. We moved in, yeah, yeah. How's that going? It's great. Yeah? Actually, yeah, I genuinely love it. We've been living together for three weeks. It's been fun.

Oh, it's new. We grill every night. Every night? So far, yeah. I'm trying to maintain that spark. Is that a reference to the grill? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys split the rent spark. Is that a reference to the grill? Exactly. Yeah. Do you guys split the rent right down the middle?

Yeah. You do? What about your tills? Your tills? Right down the middle. Right down the mid, dude. So what are we talking? Rent is 2 G's. Something like that. What's the cable? Direct TV?

It's more expensive than that. Is it? How much is your rent? $2, yeah. What's the cable? DirecTV? It's more expensive than that. Is it? How much is your rent? I'm just kidding. $2,800. $2,800, okay. One bed, one bath? No, it's actually got two.

I got a COVID price. Yeah, he's got a sick place. Whoa, dude, I negotiated. Our buddy Kevin Fard, who's in the show, by the way. Bad last name. Yeah, he... He named his kid Harrison Fard. That's very cool.

He's in the show. He's... I love him. He's he's in the show shout out to Big Fardy Kevin he's the schmoll he's a lawyer this is how you negotiate he gave me the script I called the lady I've never negotiated in my life

she's like it's gonna be like $3100 I'm like hey I'm not, I've never negotiated in my life. And I was like, Hey, she gave me, she's like, it's gonna be like 3,100. I'm like, Hey, I'm going to take it for 26. You told her, I told her and she's like, uh, then there's no deal. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, Oh fuck. And I was like, okay. And I just hung up. And then two days later they called back and they're like, we're going to do 28. I was like, that's tight. Yeah. That worked. It worked. Just hang up. Just hang up. Just hang up. Yeah. Guys, if you're looking for a new place, just hang up.

What are you ripping over there? What kind of vape is that? Hype bar. All right. What's the flavor? Kiwi strawberry. Good combo. Solid.

Do you vape? Do you want some? No, no. God bless. They're really preying on our youth. Kiwi strawberry was a big youthful combination. I know. That's the thing, right?

I'm sure there's a fucking mango strawberry. I'm sure they've got a pineapple's got to be a big hit. Yeah, they got this aloe flavor that's really dang. Aloe? Mm-hmm. Do they have a Kool-Aid flavor? Like an original Kool-Aid strawberry flavor? That's a good idea.

I could be a vape. Dude, I would have so many good vape flavors. Kool-Aid? I'd love to sell vapes to kids. Well, it'd be so easy. You just do the flavors of things like Dunkaroos. Is there a Dunkaroo vape? Oh, dude, there should be.

Icing? Oh, come on. Oh, my God. Icing vape? Dunkaroo icing vape? What about like French bread pizza, dude? You know what I mean? Stouffer's French bread pizza?

That would be a great vape. Dude, French toast, pancakes. Pancake vape. Maple syrup. Maple syrup vape. Whipped cream. Whipped cream vape. Skittles.

Skittles vape. And your favorite kind of ice cream, McFlurry vape. McFlurry vape. What kind though? M&M's. You should make an M&M vape. Dude. What's your favorite internals for, what's the best insides of an M&M?

Chocolate, peanut, almond. Peanut butter. Peanut butter. Correct. I think you know you're an adult when you transition from like regular M&M's to like peanut M&M? Chocolate, peanut, almond, peanut butter. Correct. I think you know you're an adult when you transition from regular M&Ms to peanut M&Ms. It kind of makes me sad because regular M&Ms were tricking us for years

to think that they were good and then finally you graduate and you're like, fucking regular M&Ms are bullshit. I need more. Well, they're bullshit because the colors don't taste different. Right. So you're like, so it's just little chocolate nuggets of nothingness? Have you heard this thing that all the Skittles flavors taste the same?

They do. I don't think that's true. That's a placebo. I think the purples and reds taste different than the other ones. I went to a Skittles factory, my friend. No, you did not.

Yes, I did. Which Skittles factory? The one out in Brea. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. It's so dope. And I went in and I said, I want to see the flavorings.

And he was embarrassed. He's like, you caught me. It's just one vat of shit. It was one vat of flavors. Man. All right. So what's your favorite candy? Oh, good question.

Come on. I'm going to check up first. Okay. Dude, I mean, it might have to be peanut butter M&Ms. Of all time. I could eat those forever. Wow. Every time I get back, I can't stop.

Can't what? Can't stop? Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. What about you, babe? Flex bit, babe? Top three.

I'll go Toblerone, number one. Toblerone, nice. Did I say it wrong? No, you said it the way you say it. For sure. And then Lindor, number two. Lindor chocolates. That drip is heavy over there.

And then Ferrero Rocher, number three. Ferrero Rocher. Man, you like fancy-ass chocolate. I do love them, bro. You know Lindt chocolate? Lindt dark chocolate? No. Give me some Lindt dark chocolate.

Is that the flat one? Yeah, those are flatties. Yeah. Yeah, where you break them into squares? Yeah. The Lindt dark chocolate with a little bit of orange in there? Woo! See ya.

Okay. And maybe a little fruit flavor in there? Oh, whoa. And just a little bit of nuts. Like a just plop, plop, plop. You need the nuts in there. I love it. What and there's a little bit of nuts like a just blop blop blop You need to mess in there. I love it. What's your favorite cheese my favorite what sees candy? Tough that's actually real tough. I'm a Bordeaux guy. Oh you are oh, yeah big time You know sees candy is something very specific to California to I think a lot of really well

They're from here right Culver City shout out. Yeah candy, but I mean I knew it's it's it's distributed everywhere But it's? Well, they're from here. Right. Culver City, shout out. It's candy. But I mean, I knew it's distributed everywhere, but it's very Southern California. Interesting. I didn't know that. Like people know it, but not like the way we know it. Yeah. Right. And I didn't even grow up here, so.

What's your take on Portillo's as a Chicago guy? Oh, good cue. What else? I mean, what do you, like that it's the greatest franchise that's ever been made? Yeah. Right. So I was wondering if like,

to us, if we're like California guys, and we're like, hey, we love Portillo's, you're like, you're a poser. No, that's hilarious. Right, so I was wondering if like, to us, if we're like California guys and we're like, hey, we love Portillo's, you're like, you're a poser. No, no, no. God bless. If you're on our team and you like it,

I love you. I love you. What is Portillo's to, because look, Portillo's Italian beef and Italian sausages are by far the best. To me,

for what it is. Can you get good Italian beef and sausages at other places in Chicago? Sure. I'm saying for a franchise place, it's unbeatable. No one does what they do.

They're the best. Yeah. What is that in California? In-N-Out? In-N-Out. It's got to be. Yeah, In-N-Out's undefeated. Yeah.

It's not the best burger, but it's the best franchise burger. Good call. That's what it is, right? I think I'm going to get that tonight. That sounds good, dude. Yeah, your symbol looks like In-N-Out. I'm surprised they didn't come at you guys. Yeah, we did that on purpose.

We were kind of baiting them to sue us, and they never did. I don't think they'll sue you guys. Yeah, I think we've been nonstop promoting them. What's your order at In-N-Out? Go. Double-double, plain with cheese and spread only, then a regular cheeseburger, cheese and spread, but with the grilled onions, strawberry milkshake, and french fries.

God, I love that. That is so clutch. What's up, dawg? I'm going to go. Dude, you want to fuck? No, I was talking to him. What's up, dawg? Dude, you wanna fuck? No, I was talking to him. What's up, dawg? Was that him? I'm sorry, bro. I was like, did you ask me about my order? Don't stack up. Don't fight, dude.

Bro, I would never fight you, dawg. Sorry, dude. We fight a lot. So I'm gonna go double-double with special sauce, and then I'm gonna get pepperoncinis, or the little yellow motherfuckers. Love pepperoncinis. Pepperoncinis! That's what they're called. Pepperoncinis or the little yellow motherfuckers. Love pepperoncinis. Pepperoncinis, that's what they're called. Pepperoncinis. And then no onions.

And then I'm going to get fries well done. And then I'm going to get a strawberry shake too. That's cool. I get a single single, no burger, no cheese, no lettuce, grilled onions,

sauce on the side, no lettuce, grilled onions, sauce on the side, raw fries, and I get the powder from the shake. So I say, can you just put a cup of powder, shake powder. Wow. It's the most clutch order, dude.

Everyone thinks I have the best in and out order. Mine is the most bomb by far. That's called the Irish? The Santino. You go there. If you go, give me the Santino. Right.

They will literally, they'll go this guy dude I'm down I like aspire to have my own last name like corresponding orders

so what's your last name par yeah I guess the par is actually a really good like give me the par it's a

8x8 so no bun you just get patties on patties tight stacked with double cheese in between and then a lot of special sauce So no bun. You just get patties on patties. Tight. Stacked with double cheese in between.

And then a lot of special sauce. A lot of special sauce. You know, legally, In-N-Out has to put whatever cheese you want on the burger, but you have to bring— If you bring your cheese to In-N-Out, this is real, bring a cheese that you want, and they have to legally put it on the burger. I brought Manchango last week, and they had to put it on. They were like, he knows the rules.

Because you know there's a secret menu? There's also like a secret force menu where they must legally put on any cheese. It's like in their written rule book or something. Interesting. Is that because of like lactose? Like people's different tolerances? I think it's just, I think the guys who started it were just chill as fuck about cheese. And they were like, you got to let people choose guys who started it were just chill as fuck about cheese.

And they were like, you gotta let people choose their own cheese, bud. So many kinds of cheese. Right. Brie. Camembert. Go. Cheddar.

Pepperjack. Swiss. White cheddar. Sharp cheddar. American. Blue. Dingus. Goat. sharp cheddar American blue dingus goat goat

oh you just said goat sheep's milk sheep's milk cheese I'm thinking of the one like I don't know dude parmesan mozzarella come on Chad

see you would have lost feta there it is dude can you imagine feta on In-N-Out John. Oh, mozzarella. Come on, Chad. Oh, God damn it. See, you would have lost. Feta. There it is. Dude, can you imagine feta on In-N-Out? Woo! Give me some feta, dude.

Give me well-done feta fries. Dude. What if they had feta fries? Greekin' out, baby. Greekin' out, dog. Yeah, dude. All right, listen. I respect and love you guys.

Love you, Dave. I appreciate you coming on this show. How good was it? Dude, I think it was really fun. It was so fun. Very fun. I'm glad you guys came. I really want everyone at home to please watch their show. I've been a fan of you guys for a while, and I'm

happy that you got what you deserve. Please watch the show so they can get a second season on Netflix. It means a lot to these guys because they're on their way up, up. And this is only the beginning. So please watch Chad and JT go deep on Netflix. We look at that camera? Yeah, that's the camera.

That's your camera right to the right. That's your camera. Thumbs way up. All right, so here, we end the episode the same way. You say one word or one phrase into that camera. And you don't have to say it at the same time because unless you guys already have something loaded up,

there's something in your mind you can say at the same time. So at the same time, you guys look in that camera. It's going to end the episode. Whenever you're ready, you guys go ahead. Three, two, one. Bottoms up. In here, we pour whisk, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.