Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Chelcie Lynn

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

Santino sits down with Trailer Trash Tammy herself, Chelcie Lynn to chat about fancy people and their double wide trailers, how bad she wants to hook up with Kevin James, her Nanny's pretty P and her Only Fans and her calendar that makes more money than anything she's ever done! COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! SIMPLISAFE Get that house secured 20% off entire system and first month FREE https://simplisafe.com/whiskey ROMAN Get that rocket going again! $15 off plus FREE shipping https://getroman.com/whiskey SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ROTHY'S Get the most comfortable 100% recycled material shoes EVER Use code WHISKEY for $20 off! https://rothys.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria #whiskeyginger #trailertrashtammy #chelcielynn #andrewsantino #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Man, we got a great one for you today, Chelsea Lynn. So, so funny, man. We had such a good time. In fact, we had to record it twice because the recording failed on the first go-around. But totally worth it. Go see her live. She is so funny, so talented. I'm also doing shows tomorrow night.

Los Angeles, the last chance to see me do the hour for the Netflix is a Joke Festival at the Palace Theater, downtown Los Angeles. Come out and see me tomorrow night, Los Angeles. The last chance to see me do the hour, uh, for the Netflix is a joke festival at the palace theater, downtown Los Angeles. Come out and see me tomorrow night. Andrew Santino.com for the tickets. Then I go Vancouver, Tahoe, uh, New Jersey and Niagara falls. And that is it for a long time. Daddy needs a break. So, uh, I want to thank you guys. Please subscribe, like it, and pass this around. Spread the word of the WisGyn so we can keep this show moving. I appreciate the viewership and your patronage. It means a lot to me, genuinely.

And come see me live for the last couple of shows that I got. AndrewSantino.com. AndrewSantino.com. Enough rambling. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. go to the episode. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.

My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It is the beautiful, the bodacious, the badass, the bodro... I'm making up...

Now I'm making up words. That's fine. Chelsea Lynn! Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the show. You were already on the show. I was. Chelsea Lynn. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the show. You were already on the show. I was. All right.

I'm having a glass of Legion, a little bit of sip sap. She had a little bit of Bloody Mary. We did a little bit of time on the show, and the fucking recording fucked up. Yeah. So we're back. We're back. We filmed half a pod, but it didn't film. More than half.

More than half. Yeah. And boy, oh boy, am I mad about it. I think it's funny. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. But I'm than half. Yeah. And boy, oh boy, am I mad about it. I think it's funny. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah.

But I'm also angry. Yeah. I'm upset because we were on a roll. Yeah. We were ham and egging like crazy. Exactly. And then what happens? And then I looked over and I said, do you see that?

And it wasn't recording. And it wasn't recording. So shout out to The Road for fucking it up. Yep. Yep. I don The Road for fucking it up. Yep. Yep. I don't know why that did that, but I looked over at some point and I was like, that's not supposed to be green.

God damn it. All right, so for people that don't know who you are, you are the top 1%er on OnlyFans. Oh, yes, I am. Yeah, and go ahead. And no porn. No porn. Just straight... Comedy. Just straight comedy just straight comedy yeah

comedy and feet stuff you are putting your feet up on only fans aren't you well i'm putting my feet up in a funny way but yeah they're up there they're up there wherever they are yeah they are up wherever they are they're up there and you know why because you have very nice feet and we don't want to that's why we we cut the cameras above your feet yeah we don't want to break into your income they're ready to pay for that that's why we cut the cameras above your feet. Yeah. We don't want to break into your income. They're going to need to pay for that. That's right. You know. There was a girl, there's a girl, you know, the cash me outside girl.

Yes. She made $50 million. I heard that insane. Is that real? $50 million. Well, she showed her receipts. She had the receipts. Wild.

Good for her. Yeah. Boo the idiots that paid. I can't believe you would give that kind of money to see somebody nude. that's nuts to me and you know it has spiked since then because people well more yeah now she's now she's making more money than she's ever made because once you start bragging about something like that people are gonna their their interest they want to know what now i want to see yeah exactly now i have to see what's going on yeah you know what if i did only fans do you think i'd make a couple of bucks i think

i think anyone that does only fans will make a couple bucks see i think i want to try but i don't but i don't all i want to show is just my butthole oh there's a market for that is there a butthole market oh my god wow maybe i will show my butthole oh my gosh because libby has an only fans the girl that opens for me and she doesn't post any porn or anything but her number one dm is is dudes being like i'll give you 50 bucks to show me your butthole and i'm like libby do it do it 50 bucks your face doesn't have to be in there that's right it's just a butthole it could be anybody's butthole in fact start sending other people's buttholes exactly libby's account make money libby you might not be listening and you probably aren't but if you are i am going to be your butthole agent i'll give you butthole doubles that look just like your butthole.

No one will know it's not yours. No one. And who's going to say anything? Nobody. That's not Libby's butthole. Prove it. Yeah. Prove that it's not my butthole.

Try and prove it. Mine is a dead giveaway. Really? Well, I'm redhead and there's going to be red hairs everywhere. I've got to find another redhead butthole. Yeah. But it's hard to find. There's not a lot of redholes that want to show. Redholes. There's not a lot of redholes that hard to find. There's not a lot of redholes I want to show.

Redholes. There's not a lot of redholes that I want to show. There's not a lot of redholes out there, baby. I bet you can make some money. At least, you know, dinner money. Maybe I should do it. Go out to a nice dinner. And say, this is on my butthole.

I put down my card. This one's on my butthole. Yes. No, I do have an OnlyFans. There's no porn. When I say OnlyFans, people are always like, you know, like, oh. Because porn is what you think of. A hundred percent.

No, I post comedy. I do a weekly Tammy Bang series where it's professionally filmed, like a little TV series we do. I post vlogs. You know, shit that can't be on YouTube and stuff. Right, because it's too dirty. Exactly. Because once YouTube got bought by Google, they got real Christian. They got real Christian.

So my OnlyFans is like my, you know, uncensored stuff. I like that. Yeah. It does well. People love it. See, I want to start an OnlyFans. I see everybody's doing it

and now I'm like, why am I not doing it? You should do it. I think it's going to be the next like Instagram or Facebook. It's going to be the next like instagram or facebook it's going to be the next like big you know direct access censorship jesus christ you can't post anything no i know well twitter for some reason twitter lets twitter there's porn stars twitter's good yeah twitter lets it all go twitter's good yeah it is funny because i follow a couple of

porn stars on twitter that are like in the comedy world that are friends with us they love their comedy fans and you know i'll be scrolling through twitter and sometimes i'll be out in public and then there's just there's someone's pussy yeah right you know i was eating breakfast and i'm scrolling through i'm like oh and i gotta go fast you know i have to push a little bit faster i'm just all i'm because i'm just... Because I want to support them, but also I don't need somebody to stare over my chicken apple sausage to see my

chicken apple sausage. But I was like, please, please don't. I wish Twitter had like a little... It doesn't see it in your feed until you click on it. Yes, you're right. Like a blur, and then you can see it if you click on it which is fine that'd be great it's not censoring it's just saying hey this might not be what you want someone to see on the bus exactly when you're out in public of you just thumbing through that's why i have a privacy screen

see that's smart i want to get one of those but you do that you do that because you don't want somebody in public to look at what you're looking at, or you don't want your husband to see all the dick pics that you're getting. I don't want, no, oh, I'll show him the dick pics. If I get a nasty dick, I'm like, babe, look at this. If I get a nude, I will always show my wife. I got a wiener pic, and it was covered in, he had like, gosh, probably nine piercings on his dick. In his shaft, in the head. I'll show it to you after.

And why would he do that? This poor man. I show it to everybody I meet now. So wait a minute. He's got. Nice to meet you. Would you like to see a penis pierced? So it's got nine hooks.

At least. It's like bars through it. Through it. I'm like, I don't know. Ow, dude. Ow, very ow is what it feels like. It's like bars through it. Through it. Oh, my God. I don't know. Ow, dude. Ow, very ow is what it feels like. It's bad, yeah. I mean, when a guy gets hit in the nuts, it hurts for an hour.

It's residual. If you get kicked hard, it can last a long time. I don't know why you'd want something to pierce your... But I guess you must be numb to the pain. Dude, and you know that thing stinks. It's a stinky dick, huh? What, old stinky dick? Oh, my It's a stinky dick, huh? Just- Old stinky dick?

Oh my God, just the piercings. I don't know. I don't- Because you know what? If you get a little bit of soap in your wiener hole, it hurts so bad. Oh. So I imagine if you're washing it and you get a little soap in one of the hook rings, yikes.

Yeah. Yeah. I've just never seen anything like that before. God. Like a nipple piercing, I guess, it just looks so sexy. It does. You like that. That I like.

Yeah. I think it's cool. But piercing through the shaft is like piercing through the thick of the meat of a tit. And the vein, and the, you know, no, I don't get it. The veins, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. The nerves. If your husband came home and had what, it's called a Prince Albert, if he he had it pierced he would never but what let's just say he did today i would

just be like i don't know man i'd be like let me you want to try it though you did say let's see what it feels like i'd oh yeah for sure i'd try it i don't know though i don't know though that'd be wild i'd want to try i think you'd want to try. You'd be like, let's give this a go. Yeah. And then afterwards, you're like, take that thing back out. Yeah. That's enough of that. Yes. That's enough.

Yeah. You could pierce your tit. I guess you could pierce right through your tit if you wanted to. You know, let's do that. You could be the first person with pierced tits. Not nipples, tits. That's going to be a giant ass fucking... That's a barbell. That's giant ass fucking uh that's a barbell

that's a barbell that's a real size life-size barbell you told me before when we talked before that you sometimes like putting your tits on people when they come to shows and they ask to oh yeah well people oh do you sign tits oh god yes did you let people write on your tits ever there have been some people that have been like can i sign your tits i'm like okay yeah um no my tits are like and i was telling you this before like you know i do a calendar every year it's like my biggest income out of everything i do calendar out of everything i do that calendar every year is the biggest people wait on it It's my biggest source of income every year. Wow.

Over touring and everything. No way. And, you know, my tits are huge and saggy. Okay? And I've never had kids. That's just natural. Yeah. Gravity.

Gravity. And people ask me all the time, like, you know, are you ever going to get a breast reduction or a lift? And I'm like, my career would be over. Yeah. So, but people come through the meet and greet line and they're like, can you kind of take a picture with your tit on my head? And I'll just plop it up on there. Now, is it okay if it's dudes and chicks or it's just chicks? Oh, dudes and chicks.

Doesn't matter. Does not matter. Anybody gets a tit. Anybody. Anybody can get a tit. You heard it here first. Anybody can get a tit. I mean, we're just having fun.

Isn't that what it's about? Yeah, it's not gross. It's nothing weird. No, not at all. Not with me. Nothing weirds me out. But what if somebody grabbed your tit? Then you got to be like, hey, man.

No, no, no. No. No, can't be doing that. Oh, they can. Oh, they can grab a tit. Oh, yeah. That's what the meet and greet is for. That's the VIP package.

Half the people will come up and just grab the tits for a picture. See, that's not. You're very giving. Oh, yeah yeah because i couldn't have someone just come up and grab my balls really there have been people that have come up and and grab my pussy for pictures it's all been women right yeah if it's a guy it's an issue yeah the dudes will come and grab my tits um they always ask i'm like get up in there you know but i will have women and some most ask there's been a couple that haven't and they'll like can i take a picture just grabbing your pussy i'm like don't know why you'd want to but let's do it well it's probably because and we spoke about this you probably have a amazing vagina you come from good stock

you come from good okay okay okay i gotta tell you okay I'll tell you the story My Okay pussy I thought The older it got the more You know Nasty like balls Old dude balls are disgusting

Repulsive and I told you penises get Even grosser They get sadder they tuck themselves in Like a little turtle going back in its shell. They get gross. Yes. Penises get gross. So I was in the hospital with my grandma right before she died. It was just me and her in the hospital room. She was 75. Okay. Never seen her vagina before. And I was helping her out of bed and something flew open. I don't know, her gown and her legs were just completely spread there. And a big why. And I happened to just, you know, you got to look.

Yeah, you can't not glance. You got to look. I want to see. And I kind of looked, and I expected to be like, oh, my God. But it was pretty. And I said, Nanny, you have a pretty pussy. I was shocked. I was like like you've got a pretty put and she was like i know of course i do of course i have a pretty pussy why would you think otherwise

and i get and i get it she because she's defensive because she's like what do you mean right you know nanny takes care of herself you know nanny be washing right so we still talk about that to this day about nanny having a pretty pussy at 75 years old. Did you ever catch, like that generation would have douches? Did you ever see douche stuff around your house? Yes, and I douched once. Oh, you did? Yeah, just to see.

And how was it? Disgusting. So gross. Have you seen them? Yeah, I've seen them. It was my best friend's mom's douche. I was in junior high, and I was reading the back of the box. Let me try one of these things.

And now they say, don't do it. They're really bad for you. They're horrible for you. Yeah. But that generation douched. They all did it. I saw them around my house. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I was like, why the fuck? They're disgusting looking, and I just stuck it up there, and you squeeze it. And I was just like, what the hell did that do? No, I'm not. No, no, no. Guys don't have that. No. You're just told kind of quickly as a young man.

They're like, just wash your penis. Yeah, every once in a while. Just give it a, throw some water on it. Every day in a while is what it should be. There's some kids growing up that were like, I don't know, never really need to wash. You're like, yeah, you do. Wash your penis.

I went down on a guy once. Swear to God, I don't think he had ever washed his balls. Never? And I'm not even kidding. And I'm not even kidding. And I gave it another try. You went again? You went back for more?

You're sadistic. Thinking that maybe she was having an off day. Oh, right. And it was the same. And I go, this motherfucker has never washed his balls. But what about his wiener was fine? Wiener was fine. Armpits were...

He was clean. He leaves his balls dirty. But I swear his wiener was fine? Wiener was fine. Armpits were, he was clean, you know, like clean, you know. He leaves his balls dirty. But I swear to God I gagged. I wonder what that is. Maybe he tucks him back. Maybe he puts him in the crease of his butthole and then when he lets him swing. I'd rather eat a nasty asshole than lick on those balls again. Than lick on that guy's balls again? Yeah.

Well, you heard it here, Mike, whatever your name was. Wash your nuts. God. Yeah, wash your nuts. You've got to wash your nuts. Got to. But again, when you do wash as a guy, if you get a little bit of soap up in the pee hole. Really? Yikes.

It's the most painful thing. I would say that's true with the vaginal opening as well. But you don't get it way up there. No, but sometimes it gets a little too close. Sometimes, you know, and it'll sting a little bit. But no, you don't get it up in there. You don't get it up in there. No, no, no, no, no.

You keep it kosher. That's real bad for you. It's got to be. Yeah. I mean, you know. But then again, wash your balls. Yeah. Just do it.

I mean, I think that's the whole thing is wash your balls. If you're listening to this podcast and you are on the fence about, should I wash my balls or should I just go on about my day and everything will be okay? It won't. Wash your balls. Wash your balls. Please wash your balls or should I just go on about my day and everything will be okay. It won't. Wash your balls. Wash your balls. Please wash your balls. Yeah.

That's the whole thing. And that's why you're leaving California. You're moving because not enough guys here wash their balls. Exactly. Exactly. Leaving California, we're moving to Nashville.

God, it's crazy. You, Libby, Paige. The whole crew, my sisters. Sisters. Everyone's moving to Nashville. You might leave your husband, though? You know what? He's actually staying here in California.

You are leaving your husband? Yeah, I'm leaving him. I'm going to get so many DMs. People don't read sarcasm with me. Well, it's kind of my undercurrent. Yeah. I think sometimes people are like, what do you mean, man? Well, it's a comedy show, man.

Yeah. Take what you want from it and then throw away what you don't like how about that just fucking take what you want and some of it's not gonna fit into your little your little perfect comedy mind so he's gonna stay here yeah he's gonna stay here he wants to work cause he didn't want to move right away he wanted to wait 2 or 3 years he's got a good job

you know he makes good money but he's his job is very stressful so I've been telling him He wanted to wait two or three years. He's got a good job. He makes good money. But his job is very stressful, so I've been telling him for years that he needs to quit. He's going to have a heart attack at 40 if he doesn't. Does Mama want to pay for him? You want to be the breadwinner solely? I don't mind, but he's not the type of guy that he—his mind races 24-7. So the fact that of him not doing anything, he is like, he's got to be doing something. That's me too.

Yeah. I have that. They used to say that about my grandmother. She'd sit on the curb and watch a dog fight just because she needed something to do all the time. Yeah. All the time. That's him. She just needed something.

I feel the same way. Me, I'm that way. My mother's that way. My dad, on the other hand, total opposite. I'm opposite. I like to chill. Yeah, he can chill all day. You can leave. Me, I'm that way. My mother's that way. My dad, on the other hand, total opposite. I'm opposite. I like to chill. Yeah, he can chill all day. You can leave.

He'll be on the couch. My mom will leave and go do stuff and then come home. Same spot. Like five hours later, same spot. Didn't move. Yes. What a day. What a full day.

But no, he wanted to wait a couple years, and I was like, no, we're moving now. So we'll move, and then you can come whenever you want. That's nice. But I give it a couple months, and he's quitting his job and moving. There's no formal plan. You were like, we'll see you when I see you? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. That's kind of nice. Yeah, it's very nice. Well, that's why you said that he doesn't come on tour with you, even though he tried. No, hell no. I leave his ass at home. I cannot imagine. No. And you know know what i'm not the type of person i'm not very needy emotionally in a relationship so i'm like i don't like to miss him so you stay at home let me go do my thing for a month and i'll see you i'll see you when i see you and when i see you i'll see

you then yeah i'll see you then and you've've been together for a long time. We've been together 16 years. So, no, we're not up each other's asses at all. 16 years, that's got to be like high school sweetheart type of shit. I was 18 when we started dating. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, 34, I'm about to be 35.

You were 18. Yep. He was 12, but he caught up. At some point he caught up. But, no, yeah, we just bought 100 acres in Nashville. I'm stoked, man. 100 acres is fucking a ton. I know.

Now, are the girls going to live with you on this 100 acres or they're going to all do their own thing? So here's the plan. I bought two rental properties in Nashville to eventually Airbnb. um rental properties in nashville to eventually airbnb smart so we're gonna live there while we're building on the property that the we're not gonna build for a while because i really want i need to save that money and i want to build what i want you know yeah so we probably won't start building for a couple years but um i'm gonna build a podcast studio a shop for greg's cars he's really big into cars, so big time. Does he have a bunch of toys?

Oh, a bunch of toys. Oh, I like this guy. So he'll probably, that's what I'm assuming he'll do is like work on cars, rebuild cars. That's amazing. Yeah. We're going to build a house.

I'm going to build a softball field. It's going to be a whole compound. Hot. And are you going to have like, are you going to invite a bunch of people over? Is this going to be like an open door thing? Oh just like my house you should do a camp you should do like a adult camp that'd be cool we've talked about doing like a almost like a tammy fest type thing why not yeah that's what i'm saying do a fucking camp right right i'm gonna pull up um an old

trailer on the property and deck it out and have it be like, literally that's going to be like almost like a movie set. Like I'm going to film all my Tammy videos there. Wow. Like everything. It's going to be cool. You didn't grow up in a trailer. Yes,

I did. You did. Yep. Look at you. Yep. Now what's the difference of a single wide, double wide? What does that mean?

Because I'm not a double wide. You've got money and you like to show off. Oh, you're a bit. Okay. Yeah. So those people, you didn't

like you were like fuck you i'll never forget i was in high school i was probably a junior in high school i will never forget when someone new in our town and i graduated i mean with 12 people very small town no red lights no red light just stop signs not or suggestions no suggestions stop if you want to yeah don't need stop stop if you want to you want to. Stop if you want to. Don't need to stop. Stop if you want to. You want to is one word. You want to. You want to. Yeah. Stop if you want to.

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Who the fuck is that? Immediately. And I got to school, and everyone in school was fucking talking about it. The teachers, everybody. All 12 people. Whose trailer is that? Whose new trailer? I mean, it was like the talk of town.

Yeah. For days. And who was this piece of shit? Just someone. Some new asshole, huh? Yeah. New money. Did you kick them out of town or did they stick around?

That trailer is still there. Wow, really? Oh my God. And every time I go back home and I drop past it, I think about that. You're like, look at me now, bitch. Yes. That's crazy. So you grew up in a single-

Single wide. Single wide. I grew up in poverty. And there was five of you. There was three girls, three sisters, and we were raised by my grandmother. Okay. Because my parents were alcoholics, meth heads, that whole deal. And meth.

Oh, yeah. They did it all. Aw. Sweet. Prison? Oh, yeah. Prison. I have a funny story that they were in and out of jail my whole life.

My mom, she was locked up at the county jail a lot. So when we were little, my grandma would drive us by the county jail. And we would drive by and we would roll down the windows and wave in hopes that my mom was looking out the window. And most of the time, she would wave back. No way. Did you see her? Oh, my God. could see you could see her there was enough space there were little windows right and we would we would write her in jail and

stuff there were little windows and so she knew that like we would drop out all the time like after softball games or whatever right let's go see mom and we drop that's cute and that's a true fucking story that's actually kind of cute yeah but i mean you know obviously she uh in a trashy way yeah well yeah my dad was in prison and he used to um he used to call and uh it was collect calls obviously back then right it was only collect calls yep you say you have a collect call from Cook County Jail from inmate 4894 and what

happened was is I think my mom at some point did not like the idea that you know that we were paying for these phone calls she'd be frustrated they were expensive but also they hadn't been together since I was a kid so she was also kind of like fuck you and so what he did they were expensive yeah but also they they had they hadn't been together since i was a kid so she was also kind of like fuck you i'm not yeah and so what he did was he learned that at the very

end it goes from inmates and it goes from and then they go dude and you could leave a you could you say your name i know what you're gonna fucking say he would leave messages where his name was you'd be like hey it's me andrew i love you and it would cut it off every time yes it was so fucking funny because you didn't have to pay's me Andrew I love you and it would cut it off every time yes it was so fucking funny because you didn't have to pay for the call correct yes and they would call multiple times and leave you my mom would say she's like I'm not don't accept the call and I think and she was never really that way like vindictive yeah like fuck him but oftentimes I think she'd be like he already spoke to you yes you can talk yes it was almost like a checking a little bit and people

get bored in jail oh my well what are you doing so they just want to call there's only so many push-ups you can they want to call they want to send you letters they want to send you art and every person in jail all of a sudden found out that they're an artist so they want to send you they find god they find out they're an artist they're both of them that's picasso i love we got to figure out the statistics on comedians whose parents were in jail, because I bet that's high. Through the roof. It's gotta be the majority, I can tell you that. It's gotta be most of us.

Jail or prison or weren't around at all. And sometimes you get the trifecta. Someone went to jail, prison, and weren't around, and you're like, Ding, ding, ding. Yep. You're gonna be famous. That's the code. You have to have a mom and dad in jail or prison

and then also not be around because it's so true well there's so much I mean I think that a lot of comics have had you know what it is

actually I think a lot of people in society have had kind of crazy lives and no one takes into account what other people are going through but we're in tune with our feelings about it

so when we spout it out to the world there's a lot of people like i can relate to that but they don't want to voice it because it's uncomfortable to talk about and and shame and awkward and all that stuff oh i have a huge bit about my mom being a you know a crackhead and i'll get people through the meat realign like oh my god my parents were on meth too and my pen you know i'm like, look at us crack kids bonding. Yes.

Did you ever, did you ever see your parents when they were on drugs or they hid it from you? Oh no. I, Oh, saw it all the time. It was enough. Yeah.

That's why nanny was like, I'm taking these kids with me. Yes. You don't get these kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nanny was,

yeah, yeah. She was a no nonsense. Oh yeah. get these kids yeah yeah nanny was yeah yeah she was a no nonsense um oh yeah we would find uh needles and spoons in my mom on my mom's um windowsill constantly um we were in high school we were already living with my grandma but i remember going over to her boyfriend's house we never saw her like when she was gone she would be gone two years at a time your mom yeah yeah and then she would come back and want to be in our lives and shit and um so we went to overheard her boyfriend's house and i went to the bathroom once and i actually opened the wrong room and it was just a full-blown meth den a meth den yeah yeah yeah and i was like

oh okay um awesome um she's like you know that's my math room don't go in there and they both got arrested for meth like a month later i'm like okay yep yeah that's wild yeah so nanny was no nonsense she was like oh nanny was a good christian lady yeah she was did she make you go to church didn't make me but i would go with her we um dude she was my fucking best friend i lived with her in college yeah and like you know how people were out partying in college I was hanging out with Nanny listening to bluegrass music Looking dinner That was my shit

What was your favorite dish that she made Fried okra You like okra Oh okra's my shit See I think it's fine I know people in the south love it My stepdad's from North Carolina I told you from a small little town.

And he loves it. And I've tried. I've tried all his funky shit. I've tried pig's feet. No. You don't like that kind of stuff? You can't get with that stuff. No.

You like collard greens? Okay. Greens are fine. Yeah. Okra. People love okra. But I think it's stringy, right? It's stringy.

No, you've got to have it cooked. If you go just to a restaurant and they have the frozen cornmeal fried okra. People love okra. Dude. But I think it's stringy, right? It's stringy. No, you got to have it cooked. If you go just to a restaurant and they have like the frozen cornmeal fried okra. No, that's not. That shit's trash. She had a garden every summer, fresh okra from the garden. She would fry it up. Oh my gosh. I still cannot make, I try to make it like she made it.

You can't. That's my shit. I told you i had nanny mine was nanny and paul yours was pawpaw see some people say papaw yep peepaw peepaw peepaw and memaw i know those yes memaw mine was nanny and paul yep and he he was my stepdad's stepdad because my stepdad's dad had died when he was young. And he had bees. Milton, he had bees. Had an old bee farm.

I want bees. Andrew, put on that hat. Come outside. Come out and see these bees. And I'd put on the hat, and I'd have the gloves. But you know what's so funny? The rest of my body was always exposed, but I never got stung as a kid. I think they're chill.

I think if you- If you do it right, they're chill. But he's like, don't go swatting at them now. No. You go swatting, they're going to sting you. Yeah. And I would go're chill. I think if you- If you do it right, they're chill. But he's like, don't go swatting at them now. No. You go swatting, I go sting you. Yeah. And I would go out there. But as a kid, all you have is the beekeeper hat and the gloves.

But my stupid little legs are showing. The legs are out. Yeah, my little dumb legs are out. Yeah. But they never bothered me. And then I would eat so much honey. And also everything. I told you this.

Everything unhealthy and delicious, my grandmother could cook great. Oh, you know what? This reminded me. I used to watch her. Well, she would. They had chickens. They had everything. But she would clean a chicken, and I'd watch her wring its neck.

Have you ever seen that? Yes. Once. But she would snap it. And then, I'm not kidding. I vividly remember this. She was cooking in the kitchen and we were being loud and annoying she was like a little she could be very snappy she'd be like y'all y'all quiet

down now quiet down now and she was so sweet and we'd be like oh my god and she was cutting up a chicken breast and took a piece of raw chicken and right in her mouth no i swear to god i remember watching her do it and i was like you can't do that nanny and she's like oh hush oh my god oh she was well she was tough as fucking nails anyway everything about her was like big deal she's like i'm bleeding she's like big deal you'll live you'll live you'll live you got so much blood inside your body some gonna come out rest gonna stay in it was like everything about her was like tough shit it's fine god dude i i i love grandparents and great-grandparents like they are fucking awesome i there's a story my great-grandparents my grandpa shot off my grandma's toe with a shotgun what yeah why in an argument or something well we, we don't know. She says, this family story is, she says that he was cleaning his gun and it went off.

Whoops. Let me just load this gun while I clean it. Cock it. And they were a very weird, like he was very mean, you know? Yeah, yeah. But the other story is, no, no, no, he got mad and shot her toe off. Yeah, nobody's cleaning a gun and shooting a toe. No.

With a shotgun, by the way? Shotgun. Holy fuck, that's terrible. Yeah. The spray from those things, too. Yeah. But I just remember growing up in Iona, Oklahoma, right outside of Sulphur, Oklahoma. When I say middle of nowhere, I'm talking like there's nothing for miles.

Can't get anything. By the way, Sulphur, one of the worst smelling things on earth, they named it a town. Sulphur. Well, because there's a natural miles. Can't get anything. By the way, sulfur, one of the worst smelling things on earth. They named it a town. Sulfur. Well, because there's a natural springs that runs through. And it stinks like farts. And it stinks. Yeah.

If you drive through town and it stinks. That was my childhood. Oh, so you smelled farts every time you went by. Yes. There go fart river. Yep. There goes fart river. But dude, just back in the day, summers at like your grandparents, nothing better.

The best. The best. Yeah, it is nice. I miss that. I do miss that freedom. Times were different, of course. But like I miss that world. And I love the South.

We talked a little bit about this. The South has this weird stigma and it's annoying because I really do love the South and there's great people that live down there. Yeah. And I told you I saw that thing about the Appalachian Mountains and they had said, I think the stereotypes over the years have always kind of made Southern people, quote unquote, like dummies. But you're like, there's dummies everywhere. Exactly.

Come to fucking Chicago where I'm from. See how many fucking morons are floating around those streets. No, dude, fucking. I mean, it's everywhere. It's just for some reason the South got bit the worst by that stereotype. But because of stuff like, you know, Cletus and every animated character was always like, you know, that shit. Exactly.

That always annoyed me. My dad always hated the word hillbilly. He called himself a Hill William. He said he was more sophisticated. That's funny. He's like, I'm a Hill William, not a hillbilly. Hill William. Yeah, because he said he's more sophisticated that's funny he's like i'm a hill william not a hillbilly william yeah because he was like i'm a little i'm fancy that's funny but yeah the south got yeah that's shitty rap that i don't like i don't like that it gets a rap because it's mostly from people that are have never been there yeah and you know

what i try to you know i do all my stand-up as trailer trash tammy yeah the character yeah um i really go out of my way to not make it like you might be a redneck you know like my material is very like i okay people i've done radio interviews where people like oh like you know basically they're saying you must have only like white southern people that come to your shows and i'm like absolutely fucking not no every race every age every i've had i've had a doctor show up who rushed a surgery to be at a show and it's still in his scrubs um i remember that poor person who got surgery they're like are you sure you're supposed to be working this fast he's like

don't worry about it i gotta go to a trailer trash family show but no like i i personally don't want to be like no not that i don't want to be known as a like a redneck comedian but if you come to my show and like the material is not very redneck material. It's like real-life stories that have happened to me. You just tell them in the voice of Tammy. Sure. But that's just your perspective. You're giving your version of it in this inflated caricature.

Exactly. Because you said you grew up, all that stuff is real to you. So there's nothing phony about it. I'm not going to call anybody out, but you know, there's people that, there's people that inflate those worlds where they weren't really that person. And you're like, that's fine too. You're playing a character, but this is you anyway. Oh, a hundred percent.

You grew up really, when you say poverty really was, huh? You grew up like that? Oh, I grew up. Food stamps? Oh, oh yeah. And matter of fact, my mom used to sell food stamps for drugs so we'd go without food no shit yeah um but when we went to live with my grandma we were living in the trailer and we were so poor that they were like there would be big holes in the floor that like

would i mean you're looking straight down into the dirt and she would put two by fours or she would put plywood over it so the snakes wouldn't come up oh my god that's how poor we were can you imagine snakes in the middle of the night too as a little kid were you freaked out about oh i was constantly oh snakes were a big yeah yeah summertime yeah big especially once she told us that i'm like oh my she's like this so snakes don't come up here like snakes oh yeah man i grew up so poor um i've lived it do you ever have a moment not like you should sit in the reflection thing you ever a moment where you're like i can't believe look at what i fucking did every fucking day it's amazing every fucking day i'm like what's going on

it's cool though it's cool as hell you made I mean, you fucking, you made it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how I got here, but I'm just riding it out, man. This is awesome. Dude, when I walk out on stage, I'm like, and everybody's clapping. I literally look around. I'm like, what's going on right now? What is this?

But all the effort you put into it. You know, like, look at all the years when you were saying that you and Libby met because of Vine shit that you started. It's not, it didn't happen because it was given to you. It's not like someone was like, well, just, we anoint her to be the one. No, you fucking put shit out all the time. You make content, you create, you're making comedy, you're work. Like, you're not lazy. When you're lazy and you get it given to you, the plane's going to crash fast.

Yeah, yeah. But you work hard, so who gives a shit? Thank you. Do you ever spoil yourself or no? Yeah, I'm really, okay, I spoil myself with nice dinners. Yeah, well, that's- So I'm a big foodie, you know? Me too.

When I'm touring, I want to know where the best place to eat. So tonight, going to Mastro's. Woo-woo! Got to get that butter cake. Got to get that butter cake. Got to get that butter cake. So that's like my, like, I don't buy expensive clothes or, you know, like, you know, I bought a 1979 Lincoln town car. Whoa.

Was that your favorite? Is that why you did it? That's, it's baby blue, baby blue interior. Woo. Cost me 13 grand. Woo. So that's like my big, like. That's your thing. Yeah. That's my big, you know, splurges. Yeah. so that's like my big like that's your thing yeah that's my big spurt you know splurges yeah but that's nice yeah it's very nice yeah and now no one

are none of your families back in oklahoma anymore no my sisters live with me i'm the oldest of three girls um i don't have a whole lot of family back home but i do have an aunt and uncle and cousins and they're like my closest, you know. Right. So I do go back and see them. But I mean, as far as like taking care of family, you're mama bear to your sisters now, and you're the sole. 100%.

You're the one. They both work for me. You're the matriarch. You're the top dog, top tier. I'm the Kim Kardashian of our family. You are. And I've said that before to people. Really?

You're the Kim Kardashian of the comedy world. Everybody knows that. I love it. Because you used to fuck Kanye, and you did. Yeah. For years, you guys fucked. Yeah. You have slept with Pete Davidson.

I don't know if you dated, but you guys did hook up for a while. You just fucked. Yeah. And you had a sex tape with Ray J, but it didn't come out. It never came out. No, that was never released. Why did you just want to shelf it, I guess? I don't know.

I just saved it for a rainy day. You know, who knows where my career's going save it for rainy day you know who knows we call it rainy day yeah yeah i say it'll be up on my only fans in here we pour whiskey hey man when it comes to shoes on your feet they gotta feel good and look good and rothy's knit style and comfort every single pair okay super soft perfectly cushioned sneakers their signature sneaker has that classically cool look that goes with everything in a perfect mix of casual and elevated. My old lady, the old bag, she loves her Rothy's. They're cute and sleek. That's what she says. And they slip on and they slip right off. They're all sustainably made, machine washable,

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your first purchase of a website or domain. That is squarespace.com slash whiskey. And if you want to mail in your site and go, hey, check me out, maybe I can be featured, it's imasantinofan at gmail.com. imasantinofan at gmail.com. We might feature your Squarespace site on our show. Prove to me you built it using the whiskey code. All right. And then we might feature it squarespace.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. You're really pushing me to start doing OnlyFans.

I'm telling you. I'm not kidding. I kind of want to do it. I heard, and now this is just, I don't even know if this is true. So don't, you know. I heard that OnlyFans is really wanting to change their, like change the way their platform is. So they're taking away? Well, it'll be, they want it to make it

to where it's like almost like a youtube or like a netflix so there's sections so there's like original content on there porn there's like there could be a point yeah they want to put they're wanting to really stream it towards like uncensored comedy oh so i'm telling you i'm glad i got in before i i do a special with only fansans? Oh, I'd do anything. You would? Yeah. Are you putting together an hour right now for somebody or no? So I've got...

So I only have about 45 minutes of material. And that's taken me a... It's hard, man. Oh, yeah. 45 minutes has taken me a long time. Well, how many years have you been doing stand-up? A year. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like that's... You know what I mean? Like you've been... If just exclusively doing stand-up? A year. Yeah, that's what I mean. If just exclusively doing stand-up for a year and you're putting together 40, 45 minutes, that's really good. Really good. It takes a long time. A long time. And then when you get there, sometimes you're like, I hate all this shit. Fuck it all. And you want to throw it away and start all over again.

Yeah, so my goal is to get to an hour um this this coming up year i think it's doable um and then i want to you know use that for a while before i do anything yeah before you get rid of it yeah right people for you know people at home are keen enough from this show at least that know how comics operate that you build it you build it you build it and then hopefully you at some point quote unquote get rid of it or whatever oh i've dude i get so many messages and they're like we want to come to you know the chicago show but we were at your show last year is it gonna be the same material and i'm like uh yeah it's gonna be the same material for a long time but come back and have a good fucking time i think people that yes and i think

people that don't know comedy think that every and and I'm not even kidding you, every show, every night is different material. And I'm like, that's not how it works. Well, that's crazy. There's people that have the same material for literally five, ten years. I mean, years. I wouldn't go ten. Ten's a little bit too long. Yeah.

But I do think there's this idea that you should have a different set every time they see you. And it's like, that's tough. I mean, I change it up as much as I can. Really? I'm pretty conscious about it. about yeah but i'm just continually writing and go but i've also been doing it for a long time now so i've learned the rhythm of how i can change and write more and work out more stuff more often nice but having a new hour every year is crazy oh it's a crazy feat oh yeah that like louis could do and chapelle right and not even rock really i mean there's only a couple of people that could do that atappelle and not even Rock really. I mean there's only a couple of people that could do that at that level. At that height.

That's so tough to do. Speaking of Dave Chappelle, I was the one that attacked him last night. I did. I ran up on stage and I just couldn't. I was like I'm gonna fucking get him. I'm gonna get him. Dude that's wild. And I got away with it. You got away with it. Unfortunately, they arrested some black guy,

which is like, isn't that how it always goes? Stop. It was me. Oh my god, stop! No, the guy that got arrested, he got what he deserved. He got what he deserved. He got fucked up. Did he? Don't rush the stage. Someone's gonna hit you in the fucking head.

Especially Dave Chappelle. Yeah, what are you doing? Like, if it it was us all right security's not really paying yeah no we're gonna get tackled yeah i'm gonna tear my acl i'll be the nancy carrigan why why but dave chappelle dude bad idea it's really about it also he he fucking roams around with like 30 people like his entourage is huge i know so if not he one of his 30 people are gonna fuck you up huge. I know. So if not he, one of his 30 people are going to fuck you up. Yeah. It's a bad idea. If you're going to rush someone, rush someone more vulnerable. Right. Dave Attell. Now, Dave's not going to have a huge entourage. No, don't rush anybody, obviously. It's a fucking awful idea. I can't believe that's a real thing that happened.

And also, did you see Chris Rock's joke afterwards? Yes. He goes, what was that, Will Smith? So good. It was perfect. Yeah, so good. It was perfect. He got the best of that.

Yeah. Chris Rock looks the coolest. Yeah. Like, after all that shit went down, you're like, oh, you look cool. Yeah. You won. Yep. You walked away.

You didn't talk about it. Mm-mm. And now you're touring and you're just killing it. Yeah. That's fucking amazing. Yeah, no, good for him, 100%. He handled it the best because that's a tough... I wonder how Dave's going to handle this thing.

Dude, you know he's going to come up with some brilliant bit about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. Tomorrow. Yeah. You know? And we'll go, God, how does he think of this stuff? I met him for the first time like three weeks ago. you did and i've met a lot of people i've met a lot of celebrities and for the most part i don't give a shit about most of them but he was

the one i was like oh my god i was like holy shit made your heart flutter a little bit my pussy fluttered and i'm not even attracted to him in that way but it was throbbing look like when it throbs i don't really get down there and see but I wouldn't want to know I bet it just looks really pulsating and disgusting

yeah like an orb yes that's what my penis does it throbs oh yeah it throbs but it only throbs

when y'all come no no no I have a little heartbeat in there really when I start to get excited it starts to oh okay

it starts to it nods yeah it does this don't do that with your neck anymore it does a little it does it does a couple of nods oh do you have who's your do you have a hall pass do you have a famous hall pass with your husband like a famous celebrity that he's like you could fuck him if you could meet him i'm sure he'd let me fuck anyone he doesn't give a shit what about him can he fuck anybody i don't know.

That's... No, but he'll let you. Probably. If you were like, I met this, my all-time favorite, whatever. I probably wouldn't even tell him. You would just...

No, I'm just kidding. No, he probably would. Is there an athlete you have a crush on? Like a super famous athlete that you're like, that guy's so hot. Athlete, I would say no.

I got a thing for Kevin James. You do? Mm-hmm. Paul Bl you do paul blart that's my shit so if you met kevin oh and he was like i i really want to fuck and you're like we have to i'd probably fuck him and then i'd i would literally rush home back babe guess what i just did and greg would literally probably be like holy shit that's awesome did you blow him did you blow him not to completion but i did but i did right right that's so fun love me some kevin james dude aj is your guy love dr phil you'd pump dr phil huh in a heartbeat you think he's got a hog yeah i think he knows how to please a woman

right so it's not size with him it's more about technique i mean look at robin you know i know she worships him i know and there's a reason for that he knows what he's doing right now what about kevin james do you think he's got a pipe he feels like he might have a big day i bet yeah i've always thought that yeah well i've always i've never said anything publicly but i've always thought that well kj if you're listening i would die i would die just let's get let's get you fuck let's let's get kevin james to fuck you at least meet me yeah kevin can you at least meet her and then maybe fuck her i know he's married i'll settle for a selfie but if he wants to fuck

that's a whole nother well maybe he's married you're married but maybe there can be an exchange you go kev look this is not a this isn't emotional i just need you to pump me because i have a crush on you well it's 2022 get real you know what i mean we just have some fun with kevin james just pump me i'm gonna start saying that just just pump me it's 2022 just pump me please kevin james love kevin james now have you always had a crush on him always yeah right he's been a big king of that guy. I'm a big Keanu Queens fan. Sure. I'm a Doug Heffernan fan. Anything Doug makes.

Oh, my God. Dude, yes, I'm a big Kevin James. All my fans know it. I'm obsessed with Kevin James. Well, then why can't we get him to meet up with you? I know. He's a big star. Yeah, you're a big star.

Well, I don't know about that. Okay, but who cares how big the star the star is a star that's true yeah he may be a superstar that's true i'm working you're up there too you're in the sky i'm working on it you're gonna i will meet kevin james one day you just said it i will you have to will it into the universe that's on your vision board and i'm very big about that too oh about willing it yeah about things into existence out there into the existence and and making that happen has some of that shit happen where you put it out and it came true a hundred percent give me some give me some stuff that you that what's like a literal thing you're like i i actually wanted it and happened um probably doing stand-up you were

like i'm gonna do that well you know what stand-up was never like i never wanted to do stand-up right that was never like oh i'm gonna do stand-up i want to do stand-up. Right. That was never like, oh, I'm going to do stand-up. I want to do stand-up. I always wanted to just do, you know, like movies, comedy movies. Comedy. Yeah. I never thought I could do stand-up. I was pressured by my followers for years.

They were like, you have to get your ass on stage. For years. Right. And I kept saying, no, I can't do stand-up. I'm not going to do, you know, like I, do this. And one day I was like, you know what? I'm just going to try it. Number one, see if I'm any good. Number two, see if I even like it.

And so I put on Instagram, Instagram story. I said, listen, I'm putting this out into the world. I want you guys to hold me accountable. I give myself one year to write a set and do a show that's good and if i don't you will hold my ass accountable and guess what i did within the year wrote a set did a show look at you now and i've never stopped since yeah because you got the bug once you get the bug it's oh first time on stage i got out i was like yep we're doing it yeah once you get bit you're like i want to do this all the fucking time yeah i'm proud i'm happy for you

proud is such a one of those words but i am i'm happy that you've kind of found the the the niche that you're like enjoying it and it's only it only gets more more fun but also the responsibility goes up and then you want to you want to do more for the fans you want to write more create more change and do more like it you you get out of it what you put into a type of shit same thing that you know with anything else that you did right all the other stuff that you've made online over the years it's the exact same thing if you're forward with it and you're working hard at it you're gonna get something in return yeah unless of course you know what you're doing is has ill intent and then you're like well right and you kind of see through some of that shit like when you see people that put up videos online sometimes that are trite or contrived and you're

like this is because you want to click right this is you're just trying to get because you like it trying to yeah yeah that's that's kind of a bummer oh like i said oh by the way because we had talked before about page farting out colors yeah has she ever done anything at the show with you with farting before the show? So Paige Jens, she's my best friend. She's famous for, she does fake falls, but she's also famous for the powder farts. The fake fall she did in the movie theater with the popcorn. Yes. Looked so violent.

Yeah. It looked like it really, really hurt. She makes them look so real and she's fine. She walks up and she's like, I'm good. Like the one in In-N-Out is fucking amazing? Yes. But the movie theater, oh my God. It looked like she fucking smacked her face on the ground.

Yes. No, we've had a couple of viral videos with her fart. So she likes to write comedy songs. So I've always told her, I'm like, dude, you could come out on the road and just do some songs. And you could even do a fart, whatever you wanted to do. People love it. People love it. But she is going to start doing fart art.

She's taking, and she's going to sell them. She's taking canvases, and she's packing her asshole with farts. Her brother's helping her. I'm not kidding. Her brother works for her now. Wait a minute. Her brother's going gonna pack stuff into his sister's tush he took nudes for her not too long ago what hold on i'll tell you that is she from

the south no she's from salt lakes uh utah that makes sense yeah yeah yeah um that mormon shit kicks in and then they gotta rebel she's gonna she's gonna paint a canvas and then part fart powder on it and sell it and i said that's genius that is genius fart art genius but the one thing i would change about it is the brother i don't know if i want my sibling putting stuff inside of my butt well she goes taking nude sibling nudes huh here's here's the new thing so my instagram got deleted yeah well i saw that you put your new one is of is uh you said i got take the other one got taken down because of violations? I had over a million followers, and I've had that account for like 13 years. They just took it down.

Without any, hey man, we're going to remove if you don't stop. Well, there had been a warning on my account for like three years. Your account may be deleted. Because I guess, I don't know, dude. I would post things that were completely fine, and they would get taken down for sexual solicitation. That's fucking bullshit. Because you see stuff on there,

and you're like, how the fuck is that still up there? Exactly. Oh, I've posted just me cooking and it gets taken down for nudity i'm like what that's eggs but anyway so they told my management stuff that they weren't giving me my page back so i had to restart my instagram so there's that but she's her page is the same way like everything she posts like, like it's taken down. So Kendall Jenner had posted a shot of her completely nude. She was laying on her side, completely nude. There was a little pixel on the nipple. Yeah. And Paige was like, if me or you posted that, all right.

Oh, it'd be good. Gone. Yeah. So Paige recreated that picture, the exact same picture, exact same pose, exact same where the pixels were, everything. And it almost looked, I i mean twin side by side and she posted that and i was like who i was like these pictures are good she's like jerry took them her fucking brother oh my god y'all are not dude what we're a weird crew yeah we're a very weird crew but she posted the picture side by side within 13 minutes got taken down for nudity. Fuck Instagram.

Yeah. But yeah, Jerry takes her nudes and packs her ass with the powder. So she's going to make fart art. Fart art. And it's going to be available. And I told you, I want to buy it. Yeah. Because there was that woman in France, maybe. And then she put little eggs or balloons up her vagina, stood on a ladder, and then she

would push them out using her muscles, and it would splatter on canvas. And it sold for a lot of money. Oh my God. Wouldn't you want some pussy balloon art? I would hang it up. Yeah. And I'm mad I didn't think about doing that first. Well, we could think of something else.

I think you should do titty art. I really do think you should do some titty art. Yeah. Because you've got such nice paintbrushes. Yeah. So why not utilize them? Yeah. Thank you.

I probably should do something like that. I bet it would sell. I mean, even if it's just you stamping one of your tits, just one, like your left tit. No, what was your favorite? I like the left one better. Your left tit. Just stamp your left tit. Just stamp my tits.

And sign your name. That's funny, dude. Dude, that's some VIP shit. When people come backstage and they pay for like a meet and greet, then they an extra meet and greet tit stamp poster i might fucking do this i'm your agent that's hilarious but i do want 10 i got you okay good i got you and the tits on the canvas and they're obviously not like this they're more like you know yeah they gotta be walking yeah they kind of got to be like yeah and they got to be a little funny far apart no oh yeah you know because these are my nipples right here they go it's like amanda seaford's eyes they got to be a little funny far apart no oh yeah you know because these are my nipples

right here they go it's like amanda seaford's eyes they got to be a little kind of out here they got to be one's that way and one's that way yes there's a dog one's looking that way one's looking that way yes yeah but i think you should i really do think i think the crossover of comedy and nudity is already happening anyway oh 100 look at how many comics are on only fans that are doing nudes or are selling. There's a lot more sex being sold in comedy. Oh, and I told, you know,

I don't know who I was talking with not too long ago, but like, you know, 10, 15, 20 years ago, if a comedian or any famous person, an actor, woman was to like,

you know, show a tits, oh, your career was over. Well, I mean, remember what happened with Janet Jackson at Super Bowl when her nipple came out? It was like,

people couldn't fucking fathom. Yeah. It's like it was a nipple. It was a fucking nipple. Who cares? It's like, when I first decided to do my calendar

and have it full topless, I was kind of worried. I was like, I don't know how this is, you know, I don't know how this is going to go. Then I was like, fuck it.

It's hilarious. And my career has done, dude, my titties have done me wonders. How do you not, I don't want the monetary value, but you know how many number of calendars you've sold? Oh, tens of thousands. Wow. If not more, I don't, yeah. Where do you think, what do you, do you think people put them up in their fridge or their living room? What do you think people do with them the most? They do. And I've had people, I've met people and they're

like, dude, we have your, we have your calendar in my kitchen and my in-laws come over. And it's a great conversation piece. And most of the buyers are women. Yeah. Buying them for their husbands. That's so fun. You know what I mean? It's great, dude.

That's great. That is wonderful. It's a very comedic calendar. And it's my way of having basically Trailer trailer trash Tammy almost make fun of calendar girls. And I'm so pro do anything you want, you know what I mean? But it's almost like Tammy thinks she is so hot that her tits deserve to be in a calendar. And that's what's fucking funny. Yeah.

But they do. Those aren't the tits you see in calendars usually. You know what I mean? That's what makes it funny. It says who? Well. It says who? Society?

You're right. Can fuck right off. And that's why I'm changing it. Because you want big, fuck it, you want big, old, beautiful,

gravity titties? Or you want some fake ass, made by some bullshit doctor titties? Gravity titties. Gravity titties. And you know what? I don't know the statistics on,-selling calendars of the year. I think I've...

I'm going to look it up right now, and I bet you it's you. Hold on, let me see. I think it's up there. And I don't know who else does calendars. I don't know. Best-selling nude calendars. Ready? Okay.

But I bet I'm on up there. And if I'm not, that's a lie. Tammy, number one. Tammy, number one. Tammy, number one. Number two is nuns having fun. So it's you and nuns having fun. Dead. That's it.

It's you and nuns having fun. It's me. I told you. Oh, God. I've never been with that. And Etsy's trying to compete. There's a couple of here on Etsy. Gay cowboy is big.

I've got to be honest with you. Like gay cowboy. Gay cowboy is big i'm gonna i've got to be honest with you like that like that like gay cowboy gay cowboy is big gay cowboy is gonna be tough to beat i gotta tell you you you might not sell as much as gay cowboy but you're up here you're on the list i had a guy come through the meet greet line the other day he was with him his wife his wife was in a wheelchair and his teenage daughter well she had to have been 21 to get she was young though sure to get into the show and he goes i swear to god he comes through and he's like chelsea we have your only fans he goes i've had your calendar every year and he was dead serious he goes i'm getting pretty immune to the tits when are we

gonna see some pussy and his wife and his daughter are right there. This guy. And the wife is just like, Mike, come on. Right in front of his daughter, when are we going to see some pussy? And what's your answer? I literally go, I go, man, probably never. I don't know. Let's see where my career goes.

If I need the money, I might. Yeah. You won't. We should have done. When he's like, when do you see the pussy? You just go, well, you know what? When I'm 75 and I want to show you my 75-year-old pretty pussy, I'll put it in a calendar.

That beautiful 75-year-old puss. You know what? You know what? I'm making the promise right now. When I turn 75, I'll put my pussy in a calendar. You heard it right here on Whiskey Ginger. This is a promise.

This is a promise. I'll promise. When you turn 75, it's going to be called the pretty pussy calendar calendar and it's going to be you and other 75 year old women showing off how pretty 75 year old pussy is yes and i think that's women empowerment dude i think that's we're pushing positivity here it's going to fly off the shelves that motherfucker is going to be in barnes and nobles if that's still around and when we're that old everything's going to be digital well we could could NFT your pretty pussy when you're 75.

Yeah. Make a ton of money on that. Millions. Would you ever get into that world? Do you do that kind of stuff? I don't. I barely know how to upload a video to YouTube. Yeah, I'm not a smart person.

I don't. I've looked into it. I've tried. I've dabbled. I've tried to understand, and then I get weirded out, and then I go away. And I've had people explain it to me, and I'm literally just sitting there like just one ear and out the other. That's what it is. It's boring.

Like I'm sure it's engaging to be a part of the world. Yeah. But it's a boring thing to explain. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. I kind of walk away from it when somebody's like, you got to. Yeah. My buddy is doing a whitelist.

There's a whitelist thing. And I was like. Don't know what that i was like don't know what that means i don't know how to do it yeah i don't even know how to do it and i could and i should i know because i know in 20 years i'm gonna be like god damn i should have fucking done that or or i'll be dead i think you'll still be alive in 20 years come on i think so really i think you gotta live to at least 75 okay tell yeah Cause I can see the pretty pussy calendar, but I'm older than you know,

so I'm good. Well, whatever. You'll make it. Where do you think, where do you think when you move to Nashville, like where do you, do you think that's the next stage of your life or do you think this is it?

You really want to be out there and that's it. In terms of where I'm going to move or in terms of my career? No, like you want to live in Nashville. Do you want to live there for the rest of your life now? I think that's going to be it. That's now? I think that's going to be it. That's it. I think that's going to be it.

You're never coming back here. Well, we're keeping our house in San Diego. Oh, right, right, right. If I start making money, I would like to have a place here in LA. Yeah. Just to have? Just to have and just for, you know, as an investment type thing or when I'm here. Because I feel like I'm here all the time.

So that'd be nice. But I feel like I'm here all the time. That'd be nice. But I feel like Nashville's going to be it. Yeah. I'm going to build my dream house. T-E-N-N-E double S, double E. I've got to learn how to spell it now if I'm going to live there. That's the song. My dad went to the University of Tennessee.

Oh, okay. Go Vols. What's Vols? Volunteers. They had the most volunteers oh no i don't even know i don't know no they did have the most volunteers is that what the school's called go vols well the volunteers tennessee volunteers well i'm not gonna talk shit tennessee volunteers i've never heard of that talk shit yeah they're called the vols i just don't understand but they're but they're but their mascot is smoky the dog that

cute dog okay that's a hound dog the tennessee volunteers why don't just pick an animal like a normal school yeah you know and why not make it why not make it the dog then because they have that they march that dog out on the field because i'm trying to find out why do they call them the volunteers i think it is something about the war. Really? I've never heard that. Really? Ever in my life, the Tennessee Volunteers. Where'd you go to college? Southeastern Oklahoma State University.

It wasn't even a D1. It's a D. Is there a D in there? There's a D in there somewhere. There's a C or a D? Yeah. Why do they call them the Tennessee Volunteers? I'm pretty sure.

See, my dad will be mad. Of a now official nickname Tennessee received the war of 1812 the volunteers say that the most volunteers for the war of 1812 oh

well I guess that makes sense that's kind of nice yeah now that it's explained yeah but also but if it's not explained it doesn't make sense volunteer just sounds a little but yeah they call them vols

go vols okay okay go vols also shout out to the volunteers they had one of their baseball players was the second fastest pitch in the history of either college or baseball in general how fast was it i think it was 105 i think it was look at i'm gonna misquote it again here watch this let's see tennessee baseball player fastest pitch but he um it was incredible he threw his name is Ben Joyce, 105.5.

Whoa. Junior, he made, Ben Joyce, not junior, he made college baseball history, college baseball, 105. Wow. Wow. That's intense. 105.5. How could you hit that ball? You don't.

You didn't. Nobody did. You don't. You just don't. Ben Joyce. He's a good looking guy. Let me see him. Baseball guys.

What a cool dude. You like baseball guys, by the way? I like all guys. But especially baseball guys. But what athlete guys do you think is the best looking? Baseball. Yeah, baseball guys. Look at Ben Joyce.

That's a little southern boy. Ben Joyce. Yeah, he's cute. He's got his wing hair on. He's yelling. Yeah, see, baseball boys. If I was gay, dad, I'm not gay yet. We'll find out.

The tests haven't come back yet. He'd be it. Baseball boys. Because their butt looks nice in these pants you know basketball guy's not really my thing football guys they might beat the shit out of me yeah you know i'd want a nice baseball boy yeah i agree travels a lot you said i'd want a nice baseball a nice baseball boy packs a fat dip yes you know do you ever do that hell no what about smoking no smoking no drinking no dipping what's your what's your bad girl vice masturbate a lot you do yeah okay that's usually how we end this segment of the show what you do is that your is that you're like i just can't stop fucking no well i'd say it's probably average, but yeah.

But if I had to say that, if I had a vice, it'd be nuttin'. You just love nuttin'. Yeah, who doesn't? You're the nut queen. Who doesn't? Yeah, but what are we talking? Two, three times a day? More?

No. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, good. No, no, no. Because I got to let, no. Because if it's too much, it's not fun anymore. Right.

So I got to space it out. Right. Is there a count? Do you keep a time track on it? You're like, it's been seven hours. I can rock it again. I have a little countdown on my phone.

Time to nut. What's this? Is that somebody's alarm? Do you have to go somewhere? No, I have to nut. It's my nut. It's my nut timer.

Holy shit. Yeah. I've never been a drinker. I've never been drunk in my life. I know. You barely had any of this. Bloody Mary. Was it bad?

It was bad. That was, that was something else. We'll hide the label so we don't be mean about it. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's not for you. It could be somebody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a lot.

I just stick to Cokes, you know. Coca-Cola Classic. Coke in a bottle, by the way. Mexican Coke is the only Coke. It's the only Coke. Can't go wrong. Coke in a can is fine. Yeah.

But I think it goes Mexican Coke in a bottle. Then it goes McDonald's Coke. Mm-hmm. And then it goes Yep. Fountain Coke from like another place, not McDonald's,

like a movie theater, that kind of Fountain Coke. And then at the very bottom is canned Coke. I think canned Coke is bullshit. Oh, I'm sorry. Even lower than that is two liter bottle,

plastic bottle Coke. I was about to say, that's my, I don't, I don't fuck with that shit. It's trash. No. Why am I doing this? I hate two liter. No, they about to say that's my i don't i don't fuck with that shit it's trash no why am i doing this i hate two liter no they just didn't do it right the plastic infuses it tastes bad but mcdonald's coke boy do i love mcdonald's coke they know what they're doing my mom and i would always go when when she was a single mother we would go and get

um a we'd get the cheese two cheeseburger meal uh a bit the biggest fucking coke you could buy and then a big shake chocolate shake check this out and my mom she would rip the burgers in half and then we would dip them in the chocolate shake whoa that was my favorite to do with my mom she used to love doing that we dip fries fries a standard fries in the shake. Everybody does that. But my mom would dip a cheeseburger in there. I'm not hating that. I would love to try it. Oh, it's so good.

It's so fucking... McDonald's chocolate shake. Chocolate shake. I'm going to try it. And then the Coke washes it all down. McDonald's is still... Still. They got me when I was a kid and they got me today.

Yeah. That's still the one. If I'm going to eat fast food. It's McDonald's. Yeah. I mean, because the new fancy one, like Chick-fil-A is kind of like high end in a weird way. Yeah. Even though it's still the same shit, but they make it look nicer in there.

Right. I like a shitty McDonald's. Yeah. I like to know that a kid's dead in one of those ball pits. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that the floors are sticky at the old McDonald's. I like the old shitty McDonald's. You like the attitudes of the workers. I like them to be kind of those ball pits. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that the floors are sticky at the old McDonald's. I like the old shitty McDonald's.

You like the attitudes of the workers. I like them to be kind of mean. Yeah. What do you want? Yes. I love that phrase. When you ask for extra ketchup or whatever and they roll their eyes,

it's like, yeah. You get one per customer. I love shit like that. People get mad. It's like, wow, that's fun. Yeah. That's fun. I don't like, how can I,

hi, how can I help you? Yeah. Oh, fuck you. Give me some attitude you're serving me shit food yeah nice to me exactly fuck me up make me feel bad about being about being bad boy oh my god yeah that's my but mcdonald's always was my my i can't i'll never get away from that that's the one thing i couldn't give up i could give up a lot of other bullshit but mcdonald's gotta have it once in a while gotta grab me grab me a big mac yeah and eat it in the car i don't eat it enough i need to eat more mcdonald's i love it yeah that's what's your look

well what's your little what's your i can't give it up i like chick-fil-a breakfast oh you do i've never had it oh my god those little chicken minis they have little oh my gosh because you know i let her i fuck with their nuggets heavy heavy so they put the nuggets on like this really good bread and they top it with like honey butter oh that's my shit look like it looks like i have something to do for lunch that's my shit yeah because when i was sick with roni i i ate because you know what it was when i couldn't taste or smell i wanted something texturally appealing that didn't like gross me out you know so like sushi would be like what are you talking about like pizza was fine but it wasn't enough but i went and got chick-fil-a waffle fries and nuggets and the texture was perfect did the trick yeah because you can't really taste it anyway but

you want it to texturally taste it tasted meaty but also soft enough you dip it in sauce i did but it was it didn't matter. Yeah. It was just mental. I did it for the body. Yeah. Because my body's like, you know we like the sauce. Just because you're sick, don't deprive us of that.

Yeah. But that was, yeah, Chick-fil-A got me through rony times. I had that and pizza literally almost every day. Well,

yeah, because breakfast, breakfast is my favorite meal. I can't eat eggs when I'm sick. Oh no, you're right. When I'm sick,

fuck, oh my God, eggs are the grossest thing on earth when you're sick you're right yeah yeah the look of them yeah you're right like my mom used to make hard boiled eggs

around the house I fuck with hard boiled eggs see I can't do it oh it smells like a fart yeah you're right it's just a fart

it's just a big old fart that you opened up you're right oh my gosh with some salt and pepper and some chalula people love it I know I can't do it daddy can do it. That's what I eat on the road. We'll stop at a Whole Foods and I'll get like just a bunch. We have a cooler in the back

of the Suburban and I'll just get a bunch of hard boiled eggs. And that's what I have like for a snack. I'll just Cholula, salt and pepper. I mean, it's good for you. It's good. I just can't do it. I used to tell a joke years ago about that being this woman brought a bag of hard-boiled eggs onto a plane. Oh, my gosh. I was like, you let that lady bring a bag of farts on an airplane. She just has a mobile fart bag. And she just sat there and ate them like it wasn't unusual. See, no.

I wouldn't do that. Shame on her. Yeah, that's rude. But do you have a pre- or post-show meal? No. It's kind of all over the place. I usually post-mate something at the venue. What's your rider?

You know you have a rider. What's in it? I keep it simple. Water bottles and Cokes. That's it? Yeah. I always ask for fun stuff. Like what?

I change it. Sometimes I want a Pop-Tart. I always have popcorn. I have to have popcorn before a show. I love popcorn. Love popcorn. I may add a Pop-Tart. I always have popcorn. I have to have popcorn before a show. I love popcorn. Love popcorn. I may add a Pop-Tart on there. Pop-Tarts are great.

Sometimes I'll do like a beef jerky. Sometimes I'll have a six-pack of beer and a six-pack of Coke and Diet Coke in case I have friends or someone that comes. There's always someone that's like, can we come back there? And then you're like, yeah, there's stuff in the fridge. And then I always have a veggie tray to make myself feel better, even though we never eat it ever. We've never. You don't take the stuff with you?

No, we do. No. You know what I usually do is I, I, I have people at the venue, like a security guy or something. I'm like, Hey man, you drink beer? It's like, yeah. I'm like, there's a sixer in there for you. Nice.

Yeah. Let them take it home. Yeah. Nice. You know what I mean? Right. I usually give it to the vent, someone at the venue that working at the venue yeah but no i've never asked for anything insane but little little trinkets of stuff pop tarts is fun i'm gonna add pop tarts what flavor do you

like well what flavor don't i like a pop tarts yeah well i don't like like the brown sugar and the cookies and cream and the s'mores and all that stuff no og is the best the blueberry is pretty i like cherry yeah cherry's good cherry. Cherry, strawberry. Cherry and strawberry, yeah. Yeah, no, no. The standards are good, but do you like them hot or cold? Cold. Yeah, cold is the best.

Yep. I learned that in high school. I used to eat them hot, and then I was like, what am I doing? What a waste of my time. No. These are on the go.

Yeah, yeah. This is my to-go food. Way better cold. Well, listen, Pop-Tarts, you heard it here. Sponsor us both and fill our fucking green rooms up with Pop-Tarts.

Yes. All right, I know you gotta go go you have a show to go do I appreciate you coming I'm sorry we did some of this off camera dude it was fun it was very fun it was fun

thanks for having me thank you for coming go what's your website eatmytrash.com eatmytrash.com that's a real website to go see her live

cause she's so fucking funny so talented eatmytrash.com to go see her live because she's so fucking funny so talented eatmytrash.com coming to a city near you we end the show the same way look in that camera and you say one word or one phrase

that's gonna it's gonna end the episode and it's gonna stay embedded in history in a vault that these are the last words of this episode one word

or a phrase whenever you're ready okay pretty pussy one word or a phrase whenever you're ready. Okay. Pretty pussy. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers.