Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Hasan Minhaj

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Santino sits down with Hasan Minhaj to chat about his new special "The King's Jester," the NBA playoffs and his love for his hometown of Sacramento as well as a new movie that he wrote, produced and i...s going to star in. COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ROTHY'S Get the most comfortable 100% recycled material shoes EVER Use code WHISKEY for $20 off! https://rothys.com/whiskey BETTER HELP Get professional counseling done securely online 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey HELLO FRESH Get fresh meals sent to your house and save money on trips to the grocery store https://hellofresh.com/whiskey16 For up to 16 FREE meals!!! Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria #whiskeyginger #hasanminhaj #andrewsantino #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Man, we got a good one for you today, like my man Steve Harvey Dunn say. It's my boy, Hasan. As I say it, Hasan Minhaj. As he says it, Hasan, which is the proper way, but I don't care. I'm gonna say how I want it. Ha! He's an amazing comedian. He's on tour right now. Go see him, the King's Jester. Go pick up some ticks and see him. See your boy.
Starting point is 00:00:23 See the Cheeto. i got only a few dates left okay i'm in los angeles la you better come out on may 7th otherwise i'm never playing this city ever again all right may 7th i'm in los angeles i'm also doing vancouver lake tahoe montclair new jay-z and also niagara falls has a couple of shows i think we're doing two shows up there so come see me uh please, please come see your boy AndrewSantino.com AndrewSantino.com for the tickets.
Starting point is 00:00:48 I want to thank everybody for your patronage, for listening, for subscribing, for liking, and for commenting below for the Algo Rhythm. It spreads the word
Starting point is 00:00:57 around to the West Ginge. I appreciate it because more people know about it and more people get to hear about the Whiskey Ginger Show. It means a lot to me. I want to thank you guys very much for the continued support,
Starting point is 00:01:09 and enough rambling from the the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger.
Starting point is 00:01:39 My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. Man, that was a good one. That was fast today. It's Hasan Minan minaj give it up for the man what's up baby my man dude it's been a long time almost a decade almost a decade since i've seen you you ran away from us yes you left for people that don't know who you are which is almost impossible yes uh you left us to go do the daily show yeah we were proud to see our little baby bird fly away yeah the wings spread the wings were spread and after the daily show you took
Starting point is 00:02:11 off once again did your own show started touring the world is yours yeah and what else that's it you're killing it it's over man you're done now yeah i i i'm in the touring business and trucking business now we're talking off camera about this yeah yeah well we're gonna start owning trucks yeah big money in amazon shipping until they start doing the everyone everyone's gonna be a drone it'll be droned out to your house over yeah um hassan what's up we met maybe 12 years ago. Probably 09, 10. Yeah. Yeah. And when you were a part of a little sketch group with a bunch of our buddies. Goatface.
Starting point is 00:02:49 One of them who is on Saturday Night Live right now. Do you ever see him, by the way? I see him in New York, yeah. It's so funny because we know him as Aristotle Atheris, but on SNL he's Aristotle... Atari. Atari. Whenever he says it, dude,
Starting point is 00:03:04 because I watch him because I want to watch for him. And it's so. Whenever he says it, dude, because I watch him because I want to watch for him. And it's so funny whenever he says it, I always want to like correct it. Dude, I had a whole thing with him. I'm like, really? Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Like I've really known you. He clapped him. He was mad that I got on him about it. He did the thing that he does where he's like, dude, just leave me alone. Hey, dude, don't. Don't. Dude. Yeah, he'll do it. alone. Hey, dude, don't. Don't.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Dude. Yeah, he'll do it. Yes. Aristotle is on SNL if you haven't seen. He's incredible. He has a character that's on there. What's it called? What's the name?
Starting point is 00:03:33 How do you say it? He has one Laffintosh 3000. Laffintosh is great. It was great. He does that singer, and I can't remember the name now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The world's most renowned singer. How do you say it?
Starting point is 00:03:40 How do you say it? Say it for me. Say it for me. He's killing it. But he was in the group with Asif Ali and, of course, my arch nemesis Fahim Anwar, who I've talked about on this show how much I hate him so much. You know what's so funny, though? We hate each other.
Starting point is 00:03:53 You and Fahim? Oh, my God. He hasn't done the show yet? Endless beef. No, he's done the show, and we got into a fight after the show. Just a knockdown, drag out fist fight. And he won, which is fine. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah, I chipped my front tooth. That's what I got. Holy shit. Yeah, he out, fist fight. And he won, which is fine. Wow. Yeah, I chipped my front too. That's what I got. Holy shit. Yeah, he murked me hard. And what's crazy is probably because, you know, he looks a certain way because he's an engineer, but the dude is nimble. Tough.
Starting point is 00:04:14 He's tough. Super nimble. He was really quick on his feet. And, you know, he had a lot of ground game. His ground game was really good. It's probably because of the dancing and stuff, right? Exactly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:21 He's so limber that once he got me on the ground, he had my arm behind my head, and he had pulled my wiener into my butt he had just tucked it into my own butt oh no yeah so he lost it and he just got it yeah well it's always fine i can't get hard anymore he just he literally pulled it tucked it pushed it in my tush and walked away and he lit up a cigarette holy he doesn't even smoke doesn't even smoke it was so weird he just lit up a cigarette and was like see you next time and we haven't seen each other since wow but look up for him very funny guy sadly he just beat my ass but since you left us you've departed our little stinky world yes and i haven't i said this well i haven't said this off camera to you but i know the word proud is condescending
Starting point is 00:04:59 but i don't do you know what i mean i mean it with heart oh thanks proud i'm happy for you that's what i should say i'm happy for you. That's what I should say. I'm happy for you. Oh, thanks. It's like when anybody gets success that you know worked hard and is talented, it's nice to see it work. So many times you see people get success and you're like, okay, fine. Or you're fine with it. I'm not, I'm not, not hating on it, but it's like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:18 But with you, I was like, oh, this is good. This is the machine works. Sometimes it works. Yeah. And sometimes it can be really cruel. Dude, I'm just glad I'm at that age now where I see just my friends and colleagues being able to pay the bills. That's not, well, that's been for a long time. No, like there was a thing where I was like, hey, man, I just pray that all of us don't have to have GoFundMes.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Yeah. You know what I mean? Where there's the thing for the comics where they're like, hey, there's a GoFundMe. My buddy needs a little bit of help. Yeah. Have you donated to somebody's GoFundMe? Yeah. Yeah, I've done it a few times. Yeah. Have you donated to somebody's GoFundMe? Yeah. Yeah, I've done it a few times.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah. Do you do anonymous or do you put your name on it? I do anonymous. Me too. You can't put your name on it. What are you doing, man? Because when somebody sees your name, it's either, well, first of all, it's not altruistic. Now you want them to know you did it.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Yeah. And then you want people to see how much you gave. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Get your name off of it. Yeah, 500 for a liver transplant. Andrew Santino, 500.
Starting point is 00:06:07 And then everyone knows. Then there's a comment underneath. Right. Get better soon, bud. And you're like, you feel a certain way. I'm like, I'm only going to give him 200. 200 bucks? What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:06:14 And then sometimes if I, I've donated to enough of those things now where if it's 50 bucks or whatever, and it's something like help someone I've never met. I don't know who they are I'll just see it and I'm like oh that's a nice yeah you know whatever
Starting point is 00:06:28 and then I donate $50 it does work by the way of course like you're on Twitter and like a friend is like hey help help Ryan out sure
Starting point is 00:06:34 am I gonna knock it alright fine I'll throw 50 100 bucks to things that people I've never met before yeah but then sometimes you scroll down
Starting point is 00:06:40 and you see someone that's given like three four grand and you're like who is this now I need to it's almost like you should be able to pay to see who it is yeah there's like another like twenty dollars yes dude that's a great that's a great feature like you pay another extra hundred dollars to see who would the anonymous and that goes to the fund 100 yeah oh see that's
Starting point is 00:07:00 that's smart i got a little i got a couple tricks a little santina with some ux ui i'm a businessman i'm a businessman i'm looking for growth potential ratios uh have you ever heard this guy named grant cardone yeah of course yeah do you watch his videos oh dude i'm all in the rabbit hole that's i mean people make fun of me all the time about this so people that don't know my dad didn't hug me enough and so i'll go down these kind of alpha motivational you can do it just like you're the man can't take if you're not if you're not owning real estate right now what are you doing about passive income you know what i mean the richest people how much money how much money is in your savings yeah how much you have if you have any at all you're an idiot are you renting your time right
Starting point is 00:07:38 now right nobody gets rich renting i've watched a grant cardone i've watched so much of his stuff though a piece of me goes, this guy's a good scam artist. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like a lot of it's legit but then I go he's like, what's his name? Tai Lopez? We could go on and on. No, no, no. What's the one that cusses a lot? Why can't I think of his name right now? Dude, fucking
Starting point is 00:07:58 if you're fucking. You're talking about Gary Vaynerchuk? Oh, Gary V. Dude, if you need to fucking sell your fucking shoes, sell your fucking shoes sell your fucking shoes I get down a place where you end up getting mad at these guys and all they're trying to do is preach but the algorithm is sending it to you
Starting point is 00:08:14 which means I'm looking for it what did I do? are you on TikTok or no? I have it on another phone so my digital guy uploads on it so I'm on it because I sit on the shitter and I love thumbing through videos. That's the new. Mindless.
Starting point is 00:08:28 By the way, that's the new channel surfing. I realize. Oh, TikTok is just. Yeah, I don't watch TV like we used to anymore. I watch TV when there's a show I want to watch. I watch it and then I'm done. What about playoffs? Well, you know I'm watching the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah. And God bless, bless up. I hope that Alex Cruz, my boy AC, he's in concussion protocol. Please get better. Please get better. Please get better. The Bulls, we talked for a second before this. Look, dude, I'm a diehard Chicago fan for all the sports. My biggest pain, though, is we got Pat Will back.
Starting point is 00:08:55 We got people that were healthy again. And then Zach Levine, oh, can't hit a free throw. We just, it's like DeMar DeRozan can't do everything. So what happened why like what's going on with de rosen in this series oh dude this is tough i mean look you're in my opinion i think you have a lot of good position players on our team yeah but the problem is you look at a guy like giannis who is undoubtedly the biggest agile guy we've ever seen in a, in, I mean, Shaq, Shaq, all hail Shaq for sure.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Yeah. But also Shaq couldn't shift like Gianna shifts. It's, it's crazy. But Shaq is our era of center. A hundred percent. We grew up in the nineties. It was bully ball.
Starting point is 00:09:36 And I don't think people realize how good the centers were. Oh, I mean, dude, David Robinson, David Robinson, Hakeem, Shaq,
Starting point is 00:09:41 Hakeem was stupid. Alonzo Mourning. Ugh. Um, and Shaq. Yeah. Shaq was, Shaq was theakeem was stupid. Alonzo Mourning. Ugh. And Shaq. Yeah, Shaq was the pinnacle, though. There was nobody as dominatory as that guy, but Giannis is a new level of athlete.
Starting point is 00:09:53 It's like size with athleticism that is, he can cross people over. Shaq couldn't cross people over. You know what I mean? Again, much praise to Shaq. Don't come kill me. So even the big guys, even just Joker, even he can cross people up. Yeah, and he Don't come kill me. So even like the big guys, even just like Joker, even he can like cross people up.
Starting point is 00:10:07 And he shouldn't be able to. Yeah. But I think that the Bulls are in a position where they're playing one of the toughest teams in the East. And fucking the Bucs are good. They have so many weapons. And we do too. I also think these guys have gone through so much injury in and out, in and out, in
Starting point is 00:10:23 and out that now that we're all back. Did you think you're like, we're a first and out, that now that we're all back. Did you think you're like, we're a first-round team, unfortunately, because you're playing in the bottom? I can't say. Really? A little bit. I feel bad saying it, but a little bit. Well, who do you root for now?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Dude, I grew up in Sacramento. Let's not even get. You don't even. Dude, I'm a Kings fan. But you can't touch New York. You can't touch. No, no, no. I go to Knick games.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I go to Brooklyn games. I go to Knick games. I go to Brooklyn games. I go to Knick games because they... Brooklyn has a team? Yeah, apparently. I heard. It's like, you know. Who's over there? A couple of fellas?
Starting point is 00:10:53 I don't know. A couple of boys? A couple of boys? Some of them, a couple. So you still are a Kings guy, huh? Unfortunately, yes. Don't say unfortunately. It's all right.
Starting point is 00:11:00 It's okay. Dude, I don't know if you feel this way. Dude, we have a time. We have a time. You had a time? Yeah. You had a time? I don't know if it's all right. It's okay. Dude, I don't know if you feel this way. Dude, we have a time. We have a time. You had a time? Yeah. You had a time? I don't know if it's coming again.
Starting point is 00:11:08 For me, it's civic pride. That's why I really love that all my friends that are from Chicago or from a city rep that city. When they come here and people are Laker fans or Clipper fans, I'm like, bro, I have zero respect for you. Also, hard to root for one of the most winningest franchises of all time because to me it's like if i move to a city with a dog shit sporting with his dog shit sports yes i might root for them just because they're so trash yes that you're like they need the love yes this city needs none of the fucking love dude we want a fucking world series and an nba fucking play i don't know if you go to and a fucking super bowl do you go to laker games if you've been to any laker games yeah i've been to a few i'll go i'll go with people they're? If you've been to any Laker games. Yeah, I've been to a few. I'll go. I'll go with people.
Starting point is 00:11:45 They're very quiet, man. Oh, it's not a, yeah. They're great for podcasting, a breakup. Dude, I'm dead serious. Yeah, it's a good date spot. Dude, I remember. Because you can talk to each other. Yeah, I remember Bina, my wife, got me tickets to go see Kings Lakers years ago.
Starting point is 00:11:58 It was actually before we like left and moved to New York. And I remember in the fourth quarter, it was kind of a close game. So I was on my feet. And people behind me were like, hey, can you sit down, please? Take a seat. I'm like, dude, I'm done. This is over. What is this?
Starting point is 00:12:12 There's no hype. Is this a film screening? What are we doing? What are we living for? They're late to a film screening. That's the thing about LA sports. You know people are going there before they have something.
Starting point is 00:12:21 They're like, I have to go to a thing this afternoon. But what I love about Nick games is that they're just as dysfunctional and it really is like a it really is a familial relationship the way they booed the owner the way they the way they get mad at the players is it james dolan still owns that team yeah yeah it is but it's a level and and by the way the arena's packed oh yeah it's sold out so like it's sold out the team's not great they'll yell at rj barrett they'll yell at everybody it's great out. So like it's sold out. The team's not great. They'll yell at RJ Barrett. They'll yell at everybody.
Starting point is 00:12:46 It's great. I do like that. Well, because rich city teams are always going to be mean even to their own players. Yeah. Like I saw the other day, Otani was going to pitch a perfect game. And then whoever they were playing went to lay down a bunt. Yeah. And they booed him.
Starting point is 00:13:03 It was their team. And they booed him because they didn't want to break up the perfect game. Oh, wow. I was like, damn, they booed their own dude? Damn. I can't say his first name. Shohei? Shohei Otani?
Starting point is 00:13:13 I can't. Otani? Yeah. I don't know. So what is it about Lakers and Clippers? Lakers specifically is very different, but everybody tells me Dodgers is real LA. It is. But what's the difference?
Starting point is 00:13:25 Price point, what is it? The big difference is culturally, right? You had a team that moved into a neighborhood in Chavez Ravine in the east side of Los Angeles that was all, predominantly if not all, Latinx, whatever they want to say today. But all, mostly Mexican residents who, look, I think there was a lot of hatred for the way that that team moved
Starting point is 00:13:48 into that neighborhood and kind of boosted people out. But also at the same time was so much joy and pride that a team was there. So it's dominant from a culture of Los Angeles that kind of goes un-repped a little bit. I don't know how to explain that. But you go to a fucking Laker game, it's a lot of rich white people. Yeah, people have told me that about Dodger games. You go to Dodger Stadium.
Starting point is 00:14:06 It's pretty egalitarian, like $10 tickets. Yes, it's affordable. It's economical for the longest time it was. But also it's dominated by a lot of old school LA Mexican roots, which I think- That's dope. It just has a culture to it. Yeah. Whereas, you know, the Rams, I couldn't even tell you what that is.
Starting point is 00:14:25 If somebody was like, what's the kind of guy that's a Rams fan? I'd be like, I have no fucking idea. I wouldn't even know. But like you could say for Dodgers, it's mostly a working class. It's just got that old baseball vibe to it. Sure. Do you know, I have another theory. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:39 From what people have told me, it's a LA team, not a Hollywood team. Ah, that's a really good description. The Lakers are absolutely. Whereas like the bottom, that whole set, the 100 section of staples is a Hollywood. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Very seen in BC. And you gotta be rich. Yeah. Those lower bowl seats now. Totally. Like a person that's working a regular good job. Yeah. They're not paying five 50 for a ticket.
Starting point is 00:15:04 They're like, get the fuck out of here. I mean, look look some dodgers tickets are expensive as shit too but there's still affordability right that exists there that i think probably will go away because sports have gotten absurd but i went to dude i went to sofi yeah four or five times i've been out there beautiful stadium the stadium is it is gorgeous. But also, the tickets to those games are getting, it's absurd to go watch live football. It's just going to be the way that it goes.
Starting point is 00:15:32 That sucks. Yeah. I love going to see live sports. To me, it's the last vestige of civic pride. Of like getting together with people you don't know. This is my city. And like, and dude,
Starting point is 00:15:41 candidly, man, it's like, it's one of the few times I've been able to see people, you know, we fly everywhere. You can straight up get into an argument with somebody about your i could be like yeah the bulls this the lakers this and then if the the argument gets heated enough as soon as we like let me get you a drink yeah yeah well because you have passion for it yeah right that is it's also that comes with age when you're young you know like when you're young you're there's well i, at any age really, but the guys that want to fist fight over sports,
Starting point is 00:16:09 like you always see a fight at a game. I mean, at Wrigley Field. Really? There was a fight like just a week ago. Yeah, you're going to get those guys that get liquored up. Oh, interesting. They get all mush mouthed and boozed out, so they just are ready to swing.
Starting point is 00:16:20 But on who though? I thought everybody at the Cubs game is like. Sometimes their own people. Just, dude, sometimes it's, sometimes the Cubs game sometimes their own people I just dude sometimes it's sometimes sometimes the Cubs are playing so poorly we'll fight our own
Starting point is 00:16:29 it's just the culture it's just people love to get drunk and talk shit and if someone's talking the wrong shit they'll get on you what's the difference between being a Cubs fan
Starting point is 00:16:37 or a Sox fan? like why did you why did you pick there's a bunch there's comedy answers to this and there's give me the comedy and then give me the real one
Starting point is 00:16:44 well if you're a Cubs fan you're a North Sider There's comedy answers to this. Give me the comedy and then give me the real one. Well, if you're a Cubs fan, you're a Northsider. And if you're a Sox fan, you're a scumbag. Or a Southsider. No. I love them. No, I love them. No, it's literally divided by the city. It's you're a Northsider or a Southsider.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Wow. Which I think kind of probably was the way for the Yankees and the Mets a little bit for a long time. But now I don't think that applies. But for us, we're still pretty divided. If you're a Northside kid, you're a Cubs fan. If you're a Southside kid, high likelihood you're a White Sox fan.
Starting point is 00:17:13 So in the 90s, what was your childhood defined by? Born and raised a Northside kid. So I was a Cubs fan my whole life. Really? Even during those like Frank Wyatt, like the- Dude, I was- Frank Thomas, sorry. Frank Thomas was the GOAT.
Starting point is 00:17:23 I loved watching him and tim the rock reigns i mean dude they had bangers down and then sosa kind of became big in the late 90s he was our guy i mean he after ryan sandberg i grew up ryan sandberg kid him and mark grace were just unreal yeah but then you got into this era where you you reach an age where i'd go to socks games with friends that were socks fans and love it Yeah. But you're supposed to have this like, fuck you pride. But you get old enough where you don't give a shit. Right. Where you're like, whatever, man.
Starting point is 00:17:50 What do I, I don't. What was the memory? What was the thing that brought you into it? Did you like, did your dad get you like Bulls tickets? Did you have a, did you get to see Michael Jordan play? Oh yeah. Yeah. We was going to see.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Yeah. Jordan. You know what's so funny? Multiple times? Yeah. A few times. Yeah. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:18:02 But Rodman, my mom took me. Yeah. And I, you know how hard it is to dye red hair it's impossible red's gonna come through but i spray paint i got a can of green spray paint and i spray painted my hair green uh as much as i could and it's it's like two cans of it yeah still my hair is orange you can't this color yeah no you couldn't tell it was sad but i thought it was gonna look cool it just looked dirt i look dirty i look like my woman brought a little dirty boy to the game so like your beard is like but you don't have beard at the time no i was just like boy yeah just bright green red hair right i look like the i look like an orphan
Starting point is 00:18:38 joker it was like a really shitty orphan joker right but that was the era for me that was i mean you know that was like did you know you were like living through history or no no no idea how could you you're inside of it yeah it's the same i i relate that to like when someone says something questionable about why are they so religious or why are they so xyz you're like because they live inside of it you don't know when you don't live inside of it you don't want somebody questions like a mormon you're like how could you possibly like what do you mean you live inside of it well you know it's like saying you're you're born in the u.s you don't know what it's it like a Mormon. You're like, how could you possibly? You're like, what do you mean? You live inside of it. What do you know? It's like saying you're born in the U.S.
Starting point is 00:19:10 You don't know what it's like to be born in any other country in the world. You don't know how those, your reaction is only from your viewpoint. Did you go to the championship parades? No, no, never. And I really kind of wish I did at least once. But my parents were always like, it's a chaos down there. You can't go down there. It's World War Z. Yeah, you'll get robbed. You'll get hurt. That was always get hurt that was always a big love seeing the aerial shots and being like holy
Starting point is 00:19:29 shit i mean i mean a massive party like like those kind of things i wish i was old enough to go to but i was too young at the time for my parents to let me go down did you cry when michael jordan retired the first one 93 did you cry i had a couple buddies that lived in chicago see i don't know if i cry but i remember Feeling like it was all over Like they stole it from us Like it was like taken too early And it was like oh I guess that's it We don't get it anymore
Starting point is 00:19:54 It's done and then of course We got it again It was wild It was crazy And growing up a kid in that era I paid zero and I mean zero, attention to the Bears. I mean, the Cubs a little bit. We still were Cubs fans.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Yeah. But I don't think I even thought about other sports other than, I mean, I played basketball my whole life anyway. So for me, it was like basketball was the only thing that mattered. Was that your first sport? Like the one that you loved? The only one I loved. The only one I loved.
Starting point is 00:20:22 I played other ones because you're like supposed to. Yeah. Like I played baseball. I played a little bit of football. I just didn't give a shit. Are you still nice? Are you still like pretty good at basketball? I'm not even going to pretend.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Really? I can shoot. For like 24 hour fitness, slapstick. Oh yeah. I can go fuck around. Like weekend warrior basketball. 100%. But I just can't.
Starting point is 00:20:38 My legs are not. I'm almost 40. Dude, it's crazy. You go play a 19 year old. They'll kill you. Dude, I play in the Chelsea Piers League with like, and they do it by divisions. And I'm like, put me in Division C.
Starting point is 00:20:51 I'm not even, and dude, people go down, bro. Yeah, I don't want to do that anymore. Knees back, like every week someone is going down. Is there other like entertainers in it? Yeah, so it'll be like the Tonight Show, it was the Daily Show for some time. But then I joined just, I like met up with other guys and be like, hey, let me join your team. Who can hoop from the Daily Show? There was a couple people that were like in the production
Starting point is 00:21:08 staff that were like pretty nice they were nice that were like pretty good yeah who now could be on costa would be good size wise costa costa would probably be pretty good but like him up roy wood could bang down low bill bellamy bill bellamy's really good at basketball there's a couple guys yeah sadiki fuller's good at basketball oh that i know sadiki he played in the league out here for a long time andrew schultz is good at basketball like Is he really? Yeah. Siddiqui Fuller's good at basketball. Oh, that I know. Siddiqui, he played in the league out here for a long time. Andrew Schultz is good at basketball. I don't want to give him any credit. He's got too much going on. I'm not going to give him basketball.
Starting point is 00:21:31 A few years ago, I saw him dunk on Instagram, and I'm like, bro, this is better than doing the White House Correspondents' Dinner. You'd rather do that. I'm not kidding. Yeah, bro. 37, have bounce, and like- That is kind of nuts. Not dunk a tennis ball.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Remember how there was two camps? Dudes who who could dunk tennis balls and then dudes who could actually i used to be able to yoke when i was in college and then shortly after are you serious yeah i have photos i put it up on the internet in game yeah oh yeah how i met one of my college good best friends was holy shit he put it off the window for me and i dunked it your boy was all right back in the day the most i could do was the grab and hang yeah but that's legit i hey man it felt fucking great yeah yeah that's because you're showing off you're like i can do it i have a little bit of a wombat just like hanging there you know what i mean it looked it looked awesome like in what you know what i mean in warm-ups the indian wombat is a
Starting point is 00:22:18 great name yeah you know everyone's doing the wipe shoe thing and everyone's trying to flex a little bit yeah yeah yeah yeah here, we pour whiskey. Let me tell you about Squarespace, my friends. I've used Squarespace multiple times to build my own website. If you're someone that's building a website right now and you're looking for how to do it, Squarespace lays it out so simply. It's so easy.
Starting point is 00:22:39 It's insane. And I know some of the listeners are using Squarespace to build their site. Whether you're selling a product itself, you're selling yourself, whether you're a personal trainer or you're an artist or you're a jewelry maker. Let's say you've got a specific sale that only you can do and you want to sell it online or show it off online. Squarespace can help you build a website and they've got great stuff like Video Studio. You can get pro level videos made to show off your product or whatever it is you're doing. Email campaigns. They stand out in any inbox of Squarespace email campaigns. They can collect email subscribers, convert them into loyal customers,
Starting point is 00:23:10 and you start with this email template and customize it by applying your brand ingredients, like site colors and logo, all that stuff. It's integrated to make the analytics easier for people to see what you're creating. And the analytics, by the way, you can use those insights to grow your business and learn where your site visits and sales are coming from, specifically in what regions. Like I know, I'm killing it in Topeka, Kansas. I'm killing it in Topeka, thanks to Squarespace.
Starting point is 00:23:33 And it's so wonderful. I want to know who's using it. How about this? If you use Squarespace and you used our code from the show to use Squarespace, do me a favor and email imasantinofan at gmail.com. I email imasantinofan at gmail.com. I am a Santino fan at gmail.com. It's right there.
Starting point is 00:23:49 And show us your site. We're going to pick someone and we'll feature it on the next episode with Squarespace so you can see what other people are doing. So we'll plug your site, your product, whatever you're selling. So show us something that you built on Squarespace at imasantinofan at gmail.com and we might show it off. Who knows? Uh, but do yourself a favor in the meantime, if you want to cash in on the deal, if you're someone that's new to it, Squarespace, uh, is the place to get everything done that you need. So head over to squarespace.com slash whiskey for a free trial.
Starting point is 00:24:22 When you're ready to launch, use the offer code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Once again, squarespace.com slash whiskey. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code whiskey. Save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello, fresh. Hello, fresh. I want to tell you about HelloFresh. If you don't know what it is, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:24:38 You lived under a rock with HelloFresh. You're going to get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. You can skip those trips to the grocery store, my friends. Count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit. Make no mistake, your boy can't cook, okay? I may be of Italiano descent, but also I'm Irish, and you know those potato farmers ain't cooking up anything but weird stews, all right?
Starting point is 00:25:04 HelloFresh is incredible. It's delicious. They give you these pre-portioned ingredients, so all you have to do is put them together. It literally says on there, put in pot. Stir in packet. It tells you exactly what to do. And if you're as dumb as me, which is probably rare, I can do it, so you can probably do it. All right?
Starting point is 00:25:24 I'm sure you got more than a 19 on the ACTs. It's all about convenience with HelloFresh. Not only do these ingredients come in pre-portioned, so you're not overbuying or wasting food, it's easier than ever to get filling meals on the table in a snap. They got family-friendly and quick and easy recipes. They have this fit and wholesome recipes for satisfying and nutrition meals you can feel good about. And customize your favorite dishes with their new Hello custom offerings by swapping out one protein side for another.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Customize, baby. Uh, I do love it. It's very easy to do and it saves me a lot of time, which is valuable to me. So if you're looking to save some time with some farm fresh, delicious, healthy pre-portioned ingredients, go to HelloFresh.com slash Whiskey16 and use the code Whiskey16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts. What do you want better than that? That's incredible. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Whiskey16. Use that code Whiskey16 for 16 free meals and 3 free gifts.
Starting point is 00:26:22 HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Ginger. I like gingers. 16 free meals and three free gifts hello fresh america's number one meal kit ginger i like did you guys have that at your high school the sticky floor where you got to yeah that's hot that was that was how i know you that you had a you went to a school that had a little bit of money when they have the floor stickies where you can wipe your shoes off and they had chalk for your hands and stuff sure yeah you played at a tough school yeah you had to share a locker room with the other teams. Sure. It was real like...
Starting point is 00:26:46 Yeah, you knew it was real if they had like a Wilson jet. You're like, oh, we're not fucking around. And these are all the same color? Yeah. That's how you know you go to a good school
Starting point is 00:26:54 if all the basketballs are the same color. They weren't from different years. Yeah, totally. And fixed, like patched. Sometimes you see balls where they look like they just fixed it.
Starting point is 00:27:02 You're like, oh man, they can't afford a new ball. Yeah. Those are the days, man. Yeah. Growing up in Sacramento, which, by the way, I have a little bit of love in my heart for Sacramento.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah, only because it gets shit on for nobody. People don't understand it. But I went up there to shoot a commercial. I shot a DraftKings commercial for Super Bowl two years ago. And I stayed in Sacramento. Be honest. No, we loved it, dude. You loved it.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Yeah, I liked it i just it was like it feels like a big small town yes where you're like oh this is nice yeah midtown and downtown and you know what's crazy man i used to i used we used to make fun of it when people think of california they talk about la they talk about the bay nobody actually thinks about north and south like yeah sac is pretty cool but also a hidden gem man is san diego people don't really talk about san diego in california it's an amazing city they don't want us to talk about it well san diego people because they don't want any of us going down there they're like no dude it sucks don't come down san diego like three four nights i was fucking amazing beautiful beautiful man yeah
Starting point is 00:27:58 it's i love san diego they just don't want us down there they don't want to bring our la culture down yeah because they're like all of san diego even inland it's all beach even if you're not on the beach you're still a beach guy yeah we're here unless you live on the fucking ocean nobody in la is a beach guy yeah it's and it was weird i was just the morning i always do i don't know if you do this when you're on the road you'll do the morning kind of coffee and the walk 100 so i wanted you to come to the show it's always you know what i mean you have that i know because it's the it's the pre like hey let's get coffee or let's go let's like walk and talk and then the post like that little walk and talk but anyways i was like went to go get coffee and then did this walk on the beach and i was like it's not dirty no there's no i'm alone it was wild it's beautiful down there like when
Starting point is 00:28:37 you go to venice you go to other parts of la now you're like when somebody says they want to move to the beach up here i'm like what's going on what are you talking what for are you starting a homeless shelter for other people like are you cleaning up right our beaches are you're like oh you're in philanthropy oh that's cool oh you're trying to give back you're a giving person that's that and that's what matters yeah no but now you know so sack you're saying you had a yeah but but sack i had a great time because I felt like whenever I visited Northern California, of any fashion up there, I'm overwhelmed with San Francisco because it's too much. I like it. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:29:14 But I'm always like, this is- The city's changed a lot. It's too much. Yeah. And then when I go a little bit south of there, like Carmel or Half Moon Bay or any of that kind of stuff, it's great. It's beautiful. It's also sleepy old people town. Totally. or Half Moon Bay or any of that kind of stuff. It's great. It's beautiful. It's also sleepy old people town.
Starting point is 00:29:27 But Sacramento had a vibe that was like, I could get a nice mom and pop meal at a little cool restaurant in a hip little area. Midtown, yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's what it's called. Midtown. And then also, it's got a little bit of a vibe,
Starting point is 00:29:39 a culture, so to speak, that's like they're not the Bay, but they're not Central California. Right. It's kind of like its own little nook. And's old school i like how old the houses are down like the old downtown over in midtown yeah it's like really all those old sacramento and stuff so i liked it they're i don't know it's one of those i think it gets i think like anything else it things get a name because of either the violence or the you know like if or it just becomes a punchline right if it's not thriving, they're like,
Starting point is 00:30:05 that place stinks. Yeah. And then you go and you're like, this isn't bad. But because of housing prices, man, a lot of people from the Bay got pushed out.
Starting point is 00:30:10 They live there now. They have to live there, right? Yeah. And they really did a good job revitalizing downtown. The team's not doing great, but that new arena's great.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Just downtown's a very fun place to hang out now. Are you going to get a key to the city? Let's call them up. Dude, I was actually considering, this is crazy,
Starting point is 00:30:21 I was considering trying to join the ownership group. Why not? I'm like, are you fucking crazy? Then I looked into it and I'm like, this is insane. But is it though? I was actually talking to the team to be like, hey, I'd like to be an extreme minority owner.
Starting point is 00:30:34 We were talking about it. A minority minority owner. Yeah, super minority minority. You got to double. But then I was like, wait a second, if anything goes wrong, I'm just going to open up my phone. Everyone's going to be like, what the fuck? How could you pass on so-and-so?
Starting point is 00:30:45 Yeah, then it becomes you. Because I'm that guy. Because I'm that guy that's like, how could we pass on Luca? What the fuck is going on? Well, you have a nice face, so you're easy to get mad at. Correct. Right. So if you're an ugly guy, it's kind of tough.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Correct. An ugly owner, they're like, ah, he's figuring it out. But I've been trying to like, I'm trying to get former Sacramento alumni to come to the game. Like Tom Hanks is a Sac State alumni. Really? Yeah. People don't know this game. Like Tom Hanks is a Sac State alumni. Really? Yeah. People don't know this.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Hanks? Hanks. Wow. An American icon is a Sacramento product. Where is he from? He's from... He went to college
Starting point is 00:31:15 in Sacramento. He went to Sac State. But he's from... Is he from California? I don't know where he's from originally. Tom, where are you from, bud? Tom, where are you from?
Starting point is 00:31:21 Follow us in. Let us know. Yeah, leave a comment. Leave a comment down below, Tom Hanks, because he does watch every week. Yeah, and he is a YouTube commenter. You didn't know that, right?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Big time. Yeah. What else is he up to? Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. He went to Sac State. Why don't you be a part owner of the team?
Starting point is 00:31:33 I mean, why not? I think it's the- You got a little bit of bread in your pocket. You might as well spend it on something you like. But it's that part of it. It's like the- It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money, but not just that, but it's also the...
Starting point is 00:31:45 It's the carrying water for bad decisions thing. And right now, management is just constantly under pressure. Well, and you already do that as a performer. Yeah. As a comic, you're like, I already have a lot of weight on my shoulders for what I put out to the world. And what I say and what I do.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Like, I don't want that. Rob McElhaney from Always Sunny, you know him? Uh-huh. Yeah, he's a good egg. I golfElhaney from Always Sunny. You know him? Uh-huh. Yeah. He's a good egg. I golf with him. He's a buddy. There's also, by the way, no clout in it.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Like, I looked it up. I was like, maybe other comedians have done this. And like, Bill Maher was like a part owner of the minority for the Mets. I think he still is. I don't know if he still is. But even he was saying, I remember on his show or something, he's like, it's a headache. It's not worth it. You got to pay attention. You got to pay not worth it. You got to pay attention.
Starting point is 00:32:25 You got to pay all these fees. You got to pay all this attention. There's all this tax and stuff. It's not a money-making move. It's not any of those things. I wanted to- It's got to be passionate. It's got to be passionate.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Look, my intention is I just want to bring civic pride back to the city. I want to be able to be one of those people. We want to up the name of SAC. Yeah, man. Well, I know the- And I know people in the comments are going to shit on it. No. They do. They do. They're like, bro, seriously. Show some S I know people in the comments are gonna shit on it no they do
Starting point is 00:32:45 they do they're like bro show some sack love down in the comments below let's see how much I love my sack you know what's let's see
Starting point is 00:32:52 I love my sack we all love our sack hashtag I love my sack I love my sack by the way that's a great promo for the city I love my sack that's great
Starting point is 00:32:59 and you know because it's cute enough and funny enough where people aren't gonna get mad at it and you do love your sack yeah you know what I realized too, man? As I got older, I was like, this city is really like any town in America.
Starting point is 00:33:12 So sack isn't just a blue, there's a lot of red. It's kind of like a purple city. My mom still works at the VA, so she's been there for several decades. Really? Yeah, over at Mather Air Force Base right off of Zinfandel. So anyone from Sacramento, you know where that VA is. My mom's been there for several decades. Really? Yeah. Over at the Mather Air Force Space right off of Zinfandel. So anyone from Sacramento, you know where that VA is. My mom's worked there two plus decades. My dad was a state employee. So he worked in downtown as a chemist for the Cal EPA. So long story short, I grew up, you know, Sacramento is a very interesting place because it's agriculture too. So you'll grow up with people that like
Starting point is 00:33:41 love guns, evangelical, whatever, that are just about maybe more libertarian so i got to grow up around a lot of different like right perspective and you don't see it as like an inherently evil thing you're like nah man people's life experience shapes who they are so it helped me connect with people in dallas and san antonio you know what i mean sack is like any the majority of other cities in- It's like a Midwest town. Yeah. Because that's what we grew up with. It was kind of like- It's any town in America.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Chicago's different. So there's like five dope cities in America. Chicago's one of them. What are the five? DC, New York, LA, SF, Chicago, maybe like- You're going to skip Boston? I'm making a six. They're going to get mad.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Oh, make six. I'll say Boston. Make seven. Philly? Do you like Philly? Yeah. Oh, it's not going to get mad. Oh, make six. I'll say Boston. Make seven. Philly. Do you like Philly? Yeah. Oh, it's not going to get the top 10. We're going to go 10.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Let's do Philly. Here's another gem that's very unique. New Orleans. Love. New Orleans is a real city. Love. That's different. Here's my hate to Philly.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Philly. Yo, when you're in Philly, it's not like, am I in Philly? Okay. You see what I'm saying? Okay. When you're in Chicago, when you're in Philly It's not like Am I in Philly? Okay You see what I'm saying? Okay When you're in Chicago When you're in downtown Chicago You're in Chicago
Starting point is 00:34:49 I'm in Chicago Yeah it's not mistakable You know what I mean? Yeah right When you're in New By the way Oh I didn't even say New York Did I say New York?
Starting point is 00:34:55 Yeah you said New York New York's three When you're in Manhattan You're like yeah I'm in Yeah this is New York City Well New York is kind of The pinnacle city It's hard for me to say that
Starting point is 00:35:01 As a Chicago kid But it really is Even Chicago people know New York is this Dude when you go to chicago yeah it does feel even though i'm from there it does feel like you're like oh man yeah chicago but when you go to new york you're like this is magic i know it's crazy so then it feels fake so then when people like try to talk shit on me and they're like bro i'm from dallas i'm like bro you're from sacramento dallas is sacramento yeah yeah yeah no i'm from that i'm bro you live in plano you live in the suburbs right outside of fort worth mighty eyes
Starting point is 00:35:29 yeah come on bro i know it is true new york is but sack is anytime sack is rosemont illinois sack is love elmhurst let's go you know let's get out there arlington heights yeah it's just like it's just like strip mall jambaamba Juice, borders, movie theater, track housing, rinse, wash, repeat. But that allowed me to be like, yeah, I know the majority of what kind of America. Well, what it helps is you. It helps you to not speak down to people, to speak with people. Instead of being like, I know my perspective is the right one. And I know better than you.
Starting point is 00:36:02 It's like, well, you haven't lived any of these other lives. You know what i mean that's why i always say again when people get like when people get weirded out by the way people live like they're very religious or whatever i'm always like you don't know what that's exactly you didn't you didn't have that structure yeah it's not wrong it's just not you yes it's not what you fucking like yeah i've started to talk about this on stage about how little i give a fuck about what other people are up to. And I mean that. Like, it's like, I hope people are just doing their thing and happy. Sure.
Starting point is 00:36:27 After the pandemic, I'm surprised everyone isn't just like, great, man. Leave everyone alone. I just need to figure out my own shit. Yeah. It's like, dude, fix your vision board. Whatever the fuck you got going on, stop concerning yourself with what other people are up to. Totally. You know, I think, and I want to know, by the way, I didn't get to do your show.
Starting point is 00:36:44 He's on tour right now. Please go see him. Yeah, man, please. You're probably all sold out, by the way i didn't get to do uh your show uh he's on tour right now please go see him you're probably all sold out by the way i think you're all sold out most cities yes but but we've added like third four shows please come please come if you can no no i would love for you to see the show and uh because your first show was so well received what's the what's the good terminology here It was so well done and well put together when you did this second show, right? Because traditionally you're more of a storyteller show. You are a standup.
Starting point is 00:37:12 You've always been a standup. That's how we met. But what you do is a little bit more unique than what's going on in the road right now. Instead of the dick jokes, I'm farting out for an hour. You're giving a piece of your, it's like a live memoir as well. Like you're giving a piece of your it's like a live memoir as well like you're giving a piece of your history yeah and then you're also intertwining current shit and jokes and yeah is this was this
Starting point is 00:37:33 was doing king's jester this king's jester yeah was doing king's jester daunting after what homecoming king did for you no man i think it's been like five years yeah for me there's just so much that's happened in my life sure that i want to talk about that first special really was and you know this like your first hour that first hour that you did in chicago that's your life it's a bunch of shit it's just a bunch of shit it's and it's basically a culmination of everything that we've been working on like our entire career yeah from like you know your best bits from when you first started to now this new special so much had happened in my life, marriage, kids, all the stuff that I've gone through with all the dictators and autocrats
Starting point is 00:38:10 and all the bullshit that I went through. All that stuff has now, like, shaped my worldview. So in an interesting way, I just wanted to kind of continue to show that evolution. And yeah, man, I mean, we're getting older. So one of the things I'm realizing and and i you know i never got a chance to tell you this but i like i respect this so much about you is i'm seeing my friends i'm seeing all their talents really shine through people don't know i mean i'm sure people have told you this but bro you're an incredible dramatic actor oh thank you bro i think you're
Starting point is 00:38:39 like truly fucking incredible thank you and what's crazy is i was listening to the podcast you're like i didn't even like train i didn't even try just faking it i didn't yeah i'm like this fucking asshole i didn't go to school bro i'm like i'm i'm not kidding where i'm like i think legitimately in the cards there's you could you could be in like an academy award-winning film i'm not joking it would your ability to drop into the pocket yeah i've done you know i was on the morning show with reese witherspoon and jen aniston. Fucking Mark Duplass. That cast is so stacked. But I remember shooting scenes and being like,
Starting point is 00:39:10 yeah, Santino's as good as all these people. That's really nice to say. I'm not fucking with you, bro. I appreciate it. I think your gift is actually, candidly, and it's a weakness that I think a lot of us comics have. We have such ironic detachment that we always got to be cool. Your ability to just
Starting point is 00:39:25 be present to fall in it yeah in here we pour whiskey hey people don't always realize that physical symptoms like headaches um teeth grinding even digestive issues can come from stress and uh i gotta tell you something if you're overeating if you're undersleeping all the stuff can be factors that you're not taking into consideration about your health. Your mental health transfers over to your physical health. That's why I'm talking about BetterHelp. I've talked about BetterHelp on this show a multitude of times.
Starting point is 00:39:54 I do believe in speaking to someone to talk out what's going on in your life to make you feel better again, and BetterHelp is doing that in's such a great way it's customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions you don't have to turn on the camera if you don't want them to see what you look like as you're in your Roby Roby and you're sitting in bed but it's much more affordable than in-person therapy I know in person is quite expensive and you
Starting point is 00:40:18 have to go sometimes to a medical office and it feels weird I get it you don't like it this way you can do this from the comfort of your own home or your room or the kitchen or your outside or you're in your above-ground swimming pool sipping a mocktail as the kids hit beach balls at your head because it's almost summertime. However you're receiving help from BetterHelp, I think it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Starting point is 00:40:47 This podcast, of course, is sponsored by BetterHelp. And Whiskey Ginger listeners are going to get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash whiskey. That is BetterHelp, B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P, BetterHelp.com slash whiskey. Hey, April is Earth Month. Do you care about the Earth? Do ya? Because if you do, you know, you gotta start using Rothy's Kicks. Everybody wants to help out.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It's hard to know where to start. Problems like climate change and plastic pollution can feel overwhelming, especially when you don't see a clear way to make an impact. Let me tell you something. Rothy's, they believe that even the biggest challenges can be tackled one step at a time. They make the most comfortable, stylish, and durable shoes and daily essentials all from recycled plastic. I was blown away until I got a pair of these things. I was like, really, though?
Starting point is 00:41:32 Really, are they comfortable? They're made out of bottles. They're a bunch of aquafina Fiji bottles floating around. Their shoes, they got bags. Other essentials are made with less wasted fabric, and they're designed to be durable and washable for a stylish fit that lasts a very long time. It's better for the planet. They've repurposed millions of water bottles into their signature thread that goes into all of their products. It's impressive, man.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It feels so soft. You wouldn't know that it came from a big plastic bottle. You'd have no idea. And it makes you feel great, and you're making the earth feel great, and that's worth everything in the world. That's how Rothy's helped keep ocean-bound plastic out of the water. Get out of the water with all that plastic. Sustainability, by the way, these things are incredible. They source materials like single-use water bottles and algae-based foam and ocean-bound plastic to keep these things tough and rough so they can last forever on your feetsies. And they're very comfortable. I wear them around the house, especially when I'm playing with the Pupsadoodle,
Starting point is 00:42:32 because she's aggressive and she likes to chew shoes. Alright? And she's not ripping up these Rothy's because they're durable and they're super comfortable. When you're wearing Rothy's, your footprint feels lighter than ever. Get 20% off your first purchase today at rothys.com slash whiskey. When you're wearing these things, you're creating a light footprint to the ecosystem and to your cute little feet. So, go to Rothy's. That's R-O-T-H-Y-S. Rothys.com slash whiskey.
Starting point is 00:42:59 That is rothys.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. You drop in so well, man. That is rothys.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. Well, you know what's funny is I've been the heel of a lot of the stuff lately that I've been doing, so it feels... Like you're so good in Dave, man. Thanks, man. You're so good in it. Well, they've made me, you know, I have started to fall into this little world in the acting thing of like the loser a little bit.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Like you feel bad for this guy a little bit. Like I did a few things that's going to out yeah where i'm kind of the fucking the loser where you're you root for me a little bit but you're also like this guy's a fucking loser oh you're like a burnout like watch just like just like he just can't get right like you know it can't get right like a few of the characters i'm i'm doing are like what's going on with you man yeah so that a lot of that stuff stems from i think when you do one role pretty well or whatever they see that and they take that and that's where typecasting or whatever to america comes from they go leader plays the same thing it's like yeah because the business sees that you did something well and they they're like i would love to see that in
Starting point is 00:43:59 this thing more of that yeah it's hard for people to wrap their fucking heads around it but you're like yes it makes a pretty good amount of sense but you know i'm trying to branch i just i find myself getting attracted to the same thing dude whatever you're doing is great i don't even i don't do this show with ali wong right now beef right yeah beef and i can't wait to see i play a real piece of shit like just a fucking loser like a a guy there me and this guy uh rec city uh we're we're doing we're just we're like the a modern version of the wet bandits okay you know what i mean like these two fucking fallout dipshit losers that like they think they both have the answers to everything but it's the the blind leading the blind yeah so it's kind of fun to be an idiot it's fun to be a dipshit but i do want to get back into the
Starting point is 00:44:45 dramatic stuff i would love to snake back into more dramatic stuff it was fun i tell you it was pressure which i like and there were scenes that you had even in the showtime series that you did where i was like bro andrew is fucking amazing thanks man well they beat the shit out of me on that show that show was like you mean they beat the shit it was just emotionally i was just bullied the whole like it was depressed i was I was the guy on the show that couldn't, I was like in last place for all the things that I wanted to be in first for character wise. And my dad was a piece of shit and my girlfriend was cheating on me. It was like, they beat me up on purpose so I could get more dark on the show.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Because I was, you kind of become annoyed. You play enough of an annoying character, you become a... That's why when method actors, they're like, yeah, he lived in character. It's like, that's dangerous. You get scary.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah. Because you're already being beat up for 12 hours in a character. Right. And there's a transference. I won't mention who. I shouldn't because it's not my business, but a good friend of mine
Starting point is 00:45:42 was on an extremely popular show. Okay. And on the show, he... Tell me an extremely popular show okay and on the show he told me off camera yeah and on the show he was the old boyfriend of this main character and her new boyfriend hates him on the show and in real life he felt a little bit of that while they were filming oh shit and he was like what the fuck man that's a t what that's character stuff yeah but because those two characters had bonded the new boyfriend and girlfriend right he had transferred some of that fuck your ex to the real guy oh wow yeah and it happened i think it happens in film all the time
Starting point is 00:46:15 it's why a lot of people end up hooking up on camera right and they or they fall in love and they fucking have a family when the show is done because you you kind of become a little bit of this you soak into that world right it's a you you kind of become a little bit of this you soak into that world right it's a little strange man it's a little strange what's it like shooting something for several months like is it exhausting really oh my god dude it's a it's like especially if you're doing long days if you're doing a single camera how is it fulfilling different so tell me how it's fulfilling to do that versus fulfilling to do this or touring how's how does it well this i get to speak with people that i love and respect and i want to learn
Starting point is 00:46:50 more about and or just catch up and say what's up and bring them to my little audience yeah uh and then with that it's like there's so much pressure the same pressure from stand-up is the same pressure i get from acting in terms of like you better deliver yeah but with acting it's this is such an annoying word but it's laborious it's like endless amounts of like work it's it's exhausting so you do a scene you gotta do a scene fucking seven eight times right you know or sometimes setups and then yeah it's exhausting yeah and then you do it right one time but somebody else doesn't click there they what they're doing doesn't really work as well so then you have to redo it again but you're like but i already did it really good yeah so now it's going to be worse and now this might be the take that you end up using so your goal has to be to be as good every single take right you get lazy on
Starting point is 00:47:38 the take then that's what's going to show right then they're going to pick the one like anything else right you know when you do a taping for anything and you're like why did they fucking do that i like the other yeah so that it gets it gets tiring you know but like the pressure is the same like for you in the show yeah you know do you feel like the king's jester is where you will need it to be yeah i mean like it's money we're two months out from filming the special and uh yeah man like i'm i'm pretty i'm pretty dialed in yeah it's dialed in but i'm very you know even these shows right now these four shows that we have right now in california a couple friends are coming out taking a look at it and like we're just like cut this snip this like i'm already thinking about the edit that's smart
Starting point is 00:48:20 yeah man like for me i i i'm the touring career that i have i'm i'm extremely grateful for it's incredible and the thing that i don't want to do is i've seen comics get to a certain level and they have an abusive relationship with the audience what i mean by that is like they'll be on stage and they'll be like hey man what do you do for a living like 250 tickets and they're just doing 40 minutes of crowd work i'm like bro, bro, we're in Radio City Music Hall. Or we're in, you know what I mean? You're at Carnegie Hall and you're like, you're riffing like it's the Irvine Improv. For me, I'm like, no, I want to put on a show.
Starting point is 00:48:53 So we have the stage design, the lighting design, the video, all that sort of stuff. I want people to feel. And I've sat in the cheap seats to go see Bill Burr. I know what the fourth proscenium looks like. You're this big. And so for me, I'm like, no, I want to put on a show and make sure they go like yo when he comes back i'm fucking there oh that's huge i'm coming back how long do you do is it oh is the show is an hour right now 70 78 minutes about 80 minutes i'll do about 80 minutes wow yeah
Starting point is 00:49:18 hours and you have people that open and people that open yeah but that's just to get them in a vibe just get to get people in a vibe take someone usually all the time or no? Dude, I've been rotating. Like if there's somebody local, I'll reach out to somebody local. Like, hey, come on out. Right. Brian Simpson's opening. Love.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Because he's in LA. I'm like, yo, come out. Asif Ali opened. He's from Phoenix. I'm like, come to Phoenix. Chicago. Megan Gailey's from Chicago. Come out.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Hannibal comes out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Radio City. Just whoever's there. I'm like, ronnie chen came in you know chris rock pop you know popped he didn't do time but he was like just i always try to get people from this from that city to come out that's huge man yeah give an opportunity and it's a little bit of love it's local yeah and anytime i'm in a city i'll be like hey who's who's a like a great comic that's coming up in dc i'll be like oh this is the
Starting point is 00:50:03 person and i'm like yeah no that's great do you know what i mean no i think that's huge because it doesn't take away anything away from me or the show no why would it you know what i mean like also you're doing something so unique right that it's like it's a nice change it's it's almost like totally why sinatra loved comedians because he was like go do some comedy and then i want to do some music and do my thing yeah because they're doing a different style of comedy. You come out and you're playing music, baby. You're playing music, dude. If comedy was an instrument, which one would you play? Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Like if your comedy sounded like an instrument, what would it be? Which instrument has the most amount of dynamic range? For real, because I'm like- The harpsichord, I have no idea. You're the- No, because there's parts that are just like more poignant and a little bit more like just sincere
Starting point is 00:50:45 and it's more story and then there's just hard jokes so you'd probably be like a it seemed like it'd be some kind of a string you'd be strings
Starting point is 00:50:53 maybe violin sure because you can get very aggressive and violins can be like loud and heavy and overwhelming and then they can also be
Starting point is 00:51:00 extremely soft and careful and quiet oh wow that's you you give them both that's great I'm drums cause it's chaos and it doesn't make any. That's you. You give them both. That's great. I'm drums because it's chaos and it doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:51:07 What's your hour like? What is your hour like? Dog shit. It's just a bunch. It's me. It's me. It's not dog shit. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:51:14 No, no, it's fun right now. I mean, right now it's going through a weird transition because I had some stuff that was before the pandemic and then now it's after and now I'm like, do I want to include any of that? So it's weird. I mean, I have like an hour and 25 or an hour and 30.
Starting point is 00:51:26 When you go out, how much time do you do? At Chicago Theater, how much time did you do? I did an hour and 10, I think. Okay. And that felt about right. Yeah, but I also did a cohesive. Same thing, like when I did Town Hall in New York, I did an exact 64 minutes of like this exact thing that I wanted to do.
Starting point is 00:51:43 That's perfect. And I wanted people to see that exact thing. And then now once I've done it enough, I'm changing a lot of stuff in the act. But that's gotten weird just because in the meantime, so much stuff has happened. So now I'm kind of confused over what I'm going to put out if I'm going to put out anything.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I don't know if I'm going to. Netflix was going to maybe do this thing with me and now I'm kind of like, I don't know, we'll see. Really? Yeah, I just don't know. It's see. Really? I don't. Yeah. I just don't know. It's because about how you feel about it right now. A hundred percent.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. Cause I'm like, well, we'll see. Maybe I will,
Starting point is 00:52:10 maybe not. Maybe a piece of me will, um, trickle it out on my own. Yeah. Comedy to me now, I've said this on this show too many times, but comedy is like,
Starting point is 00:52:22 it's such a live art for me. Yeah. That I'm like, just come see me live. Yeah. I know people like, I want to watch your stuff online. I i'm like just come see me live i know people like i want to watch your stuff online i'm like just come see me when i get to your city wow i'll tour i wanted you know yeah because leno i read this article leno talked about that they were like how come you don't do a special he's like because i want you to come see me live you're also man you're a great presence what i mean by that is that like you know there's some there's some type of comedy that translates great on video.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah, dude. When you transcribe it, it translates perfectly. Jim Gaffigan. Totally. Then you know there's other comics that eviscerate the room. You've got to see them live. You have no idea what this looks like. I feel like I'm a live guy.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Yeah. I'm afraid of video a little bit because video of comedy to me just takes away a little bit from the moment in time it's so interesting man but like but I'll tell you man whatever film does you on film it like
Starting point is 00:53:12 it so translates well thank you you know what I'm saying it's such an interesting thing anyways all that is to say is as I I'm quitting the business you are
Starting point is 00:53:20 yeah this is it no no no and it's time to get out I actually think this is this is really it this is an intervention yeah I was gonna say I needed you here to tell me to stop yeah you're not doing a show tonight are you no i'm doing a show tomorrow thousand oaks thousand oaks yeah where's thousand oaks am i stupid it's like it's 40 minutes it's here yeah it's right in the valley
Starting point is 00:53:37 yeah why there i had done all the but you don't want to do anything in la la la i already did microsoft theater we did that like at the beginning of this tour. Wow. Yeah. How many fucking seats is that? 7,000. Oh my God. Yeah, it was wild, man.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Be honest and don't be humble. Okay. Are you taking private jets over here? No. Are you taking private jets? No, bro. Are you taking private jets over here? No private jets.
Starting point is 00:53:59 I actually want to say this on the record. I ask every comic now that's successful. Yeah, because I'm always like, are you taking private jets? Yeah, yeah. Ask them what the last four digits of their bank is four two six eight sure because i do know yeah but i'm jealous i see guys doing it i'm always like ah that looks cool really yeah it looks cool no it's a waste of money i don't i don't i said southwest back of the plane right can i tell you if we're going to talk about money i remember that when i was leaving la and you
Starting point is 00:54:20 pulled up an audi i was like my god santino's doing it now what did you see outside what am i driving now he's a motorcycle and bro this is fucked up to say because you're a chicago fan and we just like kind of dapped up and embraced but there was part of the moment i i see motorcycles now i'm like i don't don't j williams oh my god i know it's fucked up but it's like terrible but we're we're that age you know i'm like no santino don't please no this is a step below motorcycle though this is not this is it's more scooter right it's a scoot It's like- Terrible. But we're that age. You know what I mean? I'm like, no, Santino, don't, please. No, this is a step below motorcycle though. This is not- It's more scooter, right? It's a scoot.
Starting point is 00:54:49 It's like a scoot. It's like a high end. It's like a fast scooter. Yeah. But I only ride it on the freeway. Yeah. And on the sidewalk. No, I stay in the hood.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I don't take it that far. I'm too scared because LA driving. Dude, this morning on the sidewalk no i stay in the i stay in the hood i don't take it that far i'm too scared because la driving dude this morning on the freeway i just saw a guy on a bike almost get clipped holy shit like because a car moved in and i was like oh that's it for that guy that's it though right if it's a car it's a little bing ding fuck we got to pull over to yeah that guy he's what got you to do it midlife crisis yeah they got it yeah sure honestly a friend had one yeah yeah got on it
Starting point is 00:55:28 and I was like this is so fun that's hilarious I felt like a kid look there's like there's five moves of guys our age yeah
Starting point is 00:55:34 I'll have a friend that's doing the watch thing oh did you see the thing yes the Hodinkee article oh cool oh yeah
Starting point is 00:55:41 it's a 1972 really who was president in 1972 they couldn't tell you there's the watch people then there's like the I've seen the car thing automotive in general but I actually kind of get that because I remember when we were kids
Starting point is 00:55:53 and we were like I want a Lamborghini Countach I remember that I have motorcycle friends golf friends that's now a thing I've been golf you've been golf why is golf having a resurgence right now with young men what's what's caused that you think well i will say i'm happy about it because it's it's it's keeping the sport alive but i think the
Starting point is 00:56:12 pandemic really did it people were bored they didn't know what to do and you could play a sport outside if you lived in a good weather city it was like well why not yeah what else do we do we can't go to bars you can't go to restaurants it was a great way to go drink with a friend outside is it a good social hang the best oh man i mean dude i've been on golf for so long now really it's weird to watch everyone kind of come around to it yeah which is funny because i'm like it answered all of the questions that you why would i like why when somebody says why would i play golf like brendan said to me neil said to me one time why would i play golf i said you get to hang out with someone you really enjoy you get to pick who you hang out with. It's not like-
Starting point is 00:56:45 You get to be outside. Outside. Yeah. If you were a drinker, which a lot of people that like to golf like to have a couple of drinks. Yeah. You get to drink with friends. So you're already doing an activity.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Much like if you went to a bar and played darts or pool. Sure. And if it's going poorly, nobody cares. And if it's going great, it feels awesome yeah i mean it's like it's like you know what it's like to me is like you go to the park and you're shooting jump shots and when you're on and you feel like you're on you're wet it doesn't feel crispy oh splash golf is the same thing it's like when you're killing it in golf but when you're bad at golf it doesn't matter because you know how hard the sport is right so it doesn't fucking matter really i don't like when
Starting point is 00:57:23 is there a thing when you play with somebody who's just not good though? Oh yeah. So that's a painful thing. You gotta find the right- Yeah, you don't play with those people. Got it.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Those people typically don't- You learn pretty quickly who you're gonna play with. Gotcha. There's a range, right? There's like a spectrum of- Yeah, totally. I play with guys
Starting point is 00:57:39 that are 25 handicap, which means they usually shoot 25 over par. Yeah. And then I play with guys that are scratcher pluses, which means they're fucking unreal good par yeah and then i play with guys that are scratcher pluses which means they're fucking unreal good yeah and if you're within that range yeah you're fine wow you most people are fine if you're someone that literally can't make contact with the ball probably not gonna play with you chances are we're not gonna play
Starting point is 00:57:57 like the charles barkley swing you're like we're not doing we're never gonna play yeah yeah if you're if you're if you're smacking the hosel and the ball's going that way there's no chance we're gonna play ever again yeah but one if you ever if you ever in la the hosel and the ball's going that way, there's no chance we're going to play ever again. Yeah. But if you ever, if you're ever in L.A. and you want to go, Really? Come on, dude, I'd love to take you. Dude, I used to play in high school,
Starting point is 00:58:12 but my sister was the one who played golf in high school, and she would, like, wipe the floor. Oh, so she's the shit. Aisha's the shit. Where is she now? What does your sister do now? She works for Google. She's in the legal team.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Yeah, she lives in New York. Not a smart person, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've got the brains. Yeah, brains yeah yeah my buddy worked for google and i took the bikes around one time and you can just feel how dumb you are in comparison to most of those people totally i had i got for i got a coffee but i didn't know how to work the coffee machine at one of those things yeah yeah and someone was like yeah here you go i think i was like well what uh the walk huh uh do you have the mongolian walk? No. Get the fucking noodles, bro. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:58:45 We didn't go eat. I just got a coffee and rode bikes around. I was afraid to be near those smart people. Dude. I didn't want them to feel scared of my stupidity. People see me on campus. They're like, what are you doing? Are you speaking here?
Starting point is 00:58:53 I'm like, no, I'm just visiting my sister. And they're like, sure. You're speaking here. I'm like, no, man. Just double check in, please. What does she do for Google? She works on their legal team. So she's like, you know.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Jesus. Yeah, which is a pretty major thing. Wow. Yo, yo she's killing it who are your parents more proud of her easy i put them through a lot and everyone's like oh you mean that pejoratively i'm like no no i put them through a lot man you did yeah man you weren't a bad kid i wasn't a bad kid but you know my my dad is like you're so capable that's the problem so he's like if you were an idiot yeah i would have let i would have cut bait a long time ago. The problem is you're 30 years old and you don't have a job.
Starting point is 00:59:29 You don't have health insurance. This is a problem. See what I'm saying? I kind of got on late. Look at you now. Sure. So did they say anything now? Yeah, Simba and Mufasa are cool now.
Starting point is 00:59:39 We came around now. Right. Where's Scar in the mix? Scar is my uncle. We don't talk to him anymore. He's a fucking asshole. He's out of the picture. He's out of the picture.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is interesting to think that now they're proud, but it just took, well, you say it took a long time, but it didn't take as long as, look, we live in this world of like- It's not an unreasonable thing. Here's the question. You know, let's say you have kids. Would you want them to do this i don't wish this career upon my no if they wanted to do it i would understand it but also i i think what's tough is
Starting point is 01:00:14 okay if you have a kid in la yeah they're so close to it they feel it they see it they smell it they can touch it so it's easier for them to want to be involved in this thing right but where i think for us we grew up away from it i grew up in chicago you grew up in sac it wasn't all over you yeah so for me to even want to go get the stink that's why my parents were supportive they were like go ahead and try because that's insane yeah but if it was wild all my friends from chicago say when you go from chicago to la it's a big deal it's nuts i'm like really it's a three-hour flight but they're like you don't get it the other side of the world to us. Yes. Culturally, it's remarkably different. But then for me, I guess what I'm saying is like, if I raised kids here and they wanted
Starting point is 01:00:50 it, I would be a little turned off and try to get them to not because it's just, you were so close. Yeah. If they wanted to chase something else, I don't know. I don't know. Here's what I fear for my kids, man. It's like, if they were like, I got to do it, I would just ask them, why are you doing a thing that's entirely determined on whether or not people like you?
Starting point is 01:01:08 It's nuts. Isn't that an insane thing? Yeah, it's silly. Like, I was driving around here just to get here, and I'm just like, I'm in a fucking city where my worth is determined by whether or not people like me. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:20 That's insane. Lucky people like you, though. Yeah, whereas, like,ren buffett and charlie munger could give a fuck if you like them or not right right could give a rat's ass yeah their opinion of them is irrelevant do you know what i'm saying it's true well what's it what's that old phrase though um what other people say about me is none of my business yeah but that's how you have to like you have to just become that anyway you just have to be like i don't really give a shit i'm just gonna work hard at something I think is good,
Starting point is 01:01:45 and I'm going to deliver it to the people. And hopefully they like it. And the tough part is that you could potentially lose yourself along the way. Do you know what I mean? Sure. So I'd ask my son or my daughter, I'd be like, let's start with this. What do you want to say? Right.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Because when we first started coming up, it was like, hey, what can I get? Let me get on. Right. Can I get a Tonight Show? Can I get a Conan? But why? What are you trying to say? Well, i just need to be on there because you get that's how you get to the next level what will you say on it though well i don't even fucking know but i just need to be on it see what i mean that becomes yeah you're right that becomes that like yeah
Starting point is 01:02:15 so i would inquire there and they're like well i think i'm an expressive person okay cool what do you express it then it'd be like maybe there's another creative outlet for it. That's not as intimately tied. I hope both of your kids become amazing actors. I know. Well, they should do, you know, they should do.
Starting point is 01:02:31 What's that? Bollywood. Hell yeah. So much money. Fuck yeah. So much work. Let's do it. Let's get back.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Let's get back to the original. Yeah. Let's go back to the OG. OG, the original. Nepotism. You can make one phone call, dude.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Right. One phone call. Make it happen. And make it, and yeah, you get some auditions at the very least you know for sure you think i would do well in bollywood i think you do great you think there's always like an american is there like one white guy that's yeah there's like one white guy that's like they check into a hotel and they're like you can't stay here there's like some like you know you know what i mean you know there's reverse racism or whatever it is it's just like Mr. Shaw your table's ready and it's always like
Starting point is 01:03:06 thank you yeah yeah yeah I'm visiting but it's always like it's not like an American guy it's like a Scandinavian guy they got to like do the lines
Starting point is 01:03:13 yeah yeah they don't want an American yeah yeah so you're just like this is a little off you want one French guy yeah it would be great though
Starting point is 01:03:19 you'd be great in that I would love to do a Bollywood movie dude it would be great I want to do Bollywood any Bollywood producers Bollywood producers Andrew Santino can you please call me up I do really I would really like to a Bollywood movie. Dude, it would be great. I want to do Bollywood. Any Bollywood producers watching this. Andrew Santino. Can you please call me up?
Starting point is 01:03:26 I do really, I would really like to. What's the one thing in the strange world that we work in? What's the thing that you haven't done that you do want to do? I think doing a great Bollywood movie would be fucking awesome. Truly, yeah. And I think what would be really fun, cinema and filmmaking has gotten so global in in a good way it would be really cool to like do a series or do something and have an actor an actress crossover and just do the series
Starting point is 01:03:54 with me oh that's cool and not even you know what i mean yeah kind of like when parasite happened you were just like oh shit i didn't know international film could be this way but if they were you know what i mean in an english-speaking genre or if you were in there like to me that's that's the exciting time that we live in now like rules are just kind of well it's a lot more stuff as possible kind of bending and things are just more fluid it's just it's it's cool when you're done with the special yeah do you have a thing that you want to do next or you can take some time i'm in pre-production on a movie yeah that i that i wrote and yeah yeah yeah and i'm excited about you say it or no yeah i mean we announced it but yeah yeah sure what's in it what is it um it's gonna be a comedy
Starting point is 01:04:34 it's really funny i mean i'm i'm really proud of it we'll see how it goes again i don't know a lot about the movie making business you're starring in it starring in it it's gonna be it's gonna be an am we're working on all that it's gonna going to be at Amazon. I'm really excited. Is it a love story? What is it? Can you say what it is? Oh, come on, bro. We'll talk. Give me.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Give me what it is. It's like, it's like, it's like. It's your pretty woman. No, it's not my pretty woman. Can I be the prostitute? Yeah, for sure. I would be so good. I pull up in like a Porsche and I'm just like, Andrew?
Starting point is 01:05:04 You know what I mean? I'm like, Hasan, it's been a long time yeah you're right i'm different now okay do you want to get a cup of coffee let's do that then it takes off where yeah i get it i get the movie i love the movie i'm sold do you get it yeah go see it now it's in theater soon right is it amazon is that what you said yeah it's amazon yeah yeah can yeah it's amazon yeah i'm gonna write a movie really uh we were we do you want to we wrote one legit and i loved it yeah we were in production and then it just went away right money pre-production this thing we ran out of money oh you guys were in pre-production the whole thing we were ready to go man wow and the investors were like i don't think
Starting point is 01:05:41 we can do this this is what i'm talking about so So that's the thing. I'm always like, I'm always very- Weary of the truth? I'm just weary of like, hey, don't touchdown dance at the deadline article. Like, let it make air. And then- Right. That's like when people celebrate before they get in the end zone and the ball gets stripped. Yeah. You're just like, come on, bro.
Starting point is 01:05:58 You're in the red zone. Or you're going like this. And then it's right here. You're like the Rams at the Super Bowl. That Super Bowl. Well, now they got one. Now they got one. Good for those guys too. Get paid.
Starting point is 01:06:09 Get paid. Get paper. Go on. Have fun. What do you feel about all these massive contracts now? Do you think it's affecting the- I think somebody once said- Now you're friends with NBA players, so that's kind of cool.
Starting point is 01:06:20 A couple of guys. A couple of NFL players. It's cool. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm friends. They know me and we're cool. They your comedy how did they find you yeah it's either that or it's dave or the podcast world or yeah which is so nice that you can be found multiple ways now instead of just being like i know you from the one thing i know you from yeah um but a lot of those guys here's what i feel about it like i was watching blake griffin the other day
Starting point is 01:06:41 yeah shout out blake yeah he's playing great right now, right? He is, dude. He's turning up. He's working as hard as he fucking can for a guy that's been through the ringer. Yeah. And then I was watching, I was looking, I just wanted to look up his lifetime contract earnings, you know? You can just Google that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Isn't that fucking crazy? It's available, dude. Salary, it's available. Well, but I was looking- You're just like 118 million, huh? I think it said he earned upwards of a quarter billion. That's crazy, man. Deserves it, bro.
Starting point is 01:07:05 He went to Detroit for a while. Didn't want to be out there. Yeah. Meanwhile, I love Detroit. That's what that 20 million was for? They're just like, hey, just to live here. Please, come. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:14 But I think that these big contracts, whenever somebody's like, God, they're giving these athletes too much money. My initial reaction is always, if they can pay him that, what do you think they're making? The owners are making. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? I love when they go, they can pay him that yeah what do you think they're the owners are making yeah what the fuck are you talking about yeah i love when they go they're paying him too much it's like too much in comparison to what right right the people that are fucking puppeteering the machine are making way more money than the guys below yeah you think they would allow that you think they would just willingly be like all right well i'll give you 50 of what i make it's
Starting point is 01:07:41 like no chance yeah chris rock had that great joke where he was like i'm he's like i'm rich i am so rich and so famous at my job yeah i i live in a neighborhood where my neighbor is a fucking dentist dentist it's crazy he's like that's how that so in our in the world of wealth and money distribution he's like do you know what i'd have to do in entertainment to make to be like that's yeah i'd have to do in entertainment to make, to be like. That's, yeah. I'd have to invent teeth. It was so fucking great. It's such a good bit.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Yeah. But there's so much truth. If you're mad at what the players are getting paid, you should be mad at what the owners are making or what the fucking, what the companies that surround them are making. There is misappropriated anger in sports about the idea of overpaying. Also, by the way, fucking go watch a pro athlete once and tell me how unbelievably rare their talent is. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Well, why wouldn't they get that money? I don't understand. You want a gladiator to blow you away. And then when they do, you don't want to reward them? I don't understand. What would be the middle ground? If they're earning that for the company...
Starting point is 01:08:44 So these are the two complaints. You know, so funny, man. This is how I know where we're at in comedy. The dream would be the middle ground? If they're earning that for the company. So these are the two complaints. You know what's so funny, man? This is how I know where we're at in comedy. The dream would be like in comedy, me and you, we text LeBron. Yeah. You're BFFs with Caruso. I'm BFFs with JJ Redick. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:56 JJ's my boy. Okay, dope. It's just like. Both whiteys. A couple of whiteys. Yeah, just like role playing. By the way, long career guys. For sure. They have a couple of whiteys yeah just like role-playing long by the way long career yeah guys for sure they have a ton of insight but i told jj this shout out to jj and shout out to his podcast with tommy alter but i told jj i go listen i'm just saying this is i know how mad you
Starting point is 01:09:18 guys get at us yeah us fucking weekend warrior wannabe hoopers i get it we're the internet comment commentators to comedy we're the percent i get it. I get it. We're the internet commentators to comedy. 100%. I get it. I totally get it. But I was like, you've got to answer me these two things. The two things I do not understand is I don't understand this Ben Simmons Game 4 situation. It's stuff like that that I don't fucking get.
Starting point is 01:09:40 What else are you going to do? Right. If not this, what? Because I'll apply it to comedy. There's no way I'm going to go to Just for Laughs or whatever and not perform. Yeah, it's crazy. Are you kidding me? That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Are you fucking kidding me? Why'd you get on the plane? Yeah, yeah. If, hypothetically, Bill Burr, one of the best, whatever, working comedians right now, called me and was like, hey, will you open for me at the Garden? I'm like, ah, back strain. By the way, you know what I mean? I lost my voice
Starting point is 01:10:05 yeah if you lost your voice I'd find a new one dude I would I'd go buy a new one I'd go to the doctor you know how they have the cortisone shots I'd be like put it
Starting point is 01:10:11 get it in my throat right here yeah no you're right do you understand he calls Jokoy calls you I am doing the forum hey can you do 10
Starting point is 01:10:17 yeah I'll do 4 ah dude I'm on my way what are you talking about I'm there now I'm in the dressing room do you know what I'm saying yeah
Starting point is 01:10:23 so it's just like this is not even my criticism of money. I'm like, do you enjoy playing basketball? See, I don't think he does. Yeah. I think a lot of guys, I think a lot of athletes. So that was the first one. Yeah. And JJ told, and like, they kind of were like, everybody doesn't love this. Yeah. I was like, what? I know a few pro athletes that have been quite candid to me about the idea that they know they love it, but they're a little, maybe they're tired or they're over it or they're kind of exhausted or they're ready to kind of be done, which I know that people are, that sounds crazy, but you have to remember different from
Starting point is 01:10:54 our career. Those guys have been bred to be who they are since they were children. So that's crazy to think, you know, you have AAU ball and traveling ball and they're 12 and 13 and people are scouting you people are talking to your mom and dad bro i'm gonna i'm gonna hold the line i'm a pretty agreeable person i'm gonna hold the line you have no fucking because i had no money until 30 yeah i want to tell them something i've done the loser thing i've been a loser yeah we did a pretty good part i'm still doing it to not having a job and not knowing what the fuck i'm doing on a tuesday bro you don't want to be 34 and be like tuesday when they're all like i'm just gonna spend some time with my kids i'm like i'm telling you i know what you're saying drop off is pretty whack after two weeks
Starting point is 01:11:40 you love your kids i love my kids but also come I love my kids, but I'm a good parent. Come on, man. I don't want to pick these guys up. Are you kidding me? Dude, when I go pick up my kids, they're just like, Hassan's here.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Like, they know it's a treat. And I'm like, I know. The teachers, her teachers are like, this is a treat. I know it's a treat.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Yeah. But I gotta, there's other things I also have to do. I'm in my, I got lead in my pencil, bro. I'm only 36.
Starting point is 01:12:03 You're ready to write. Ready to go. I gotta do something. Sure. But again, we didn't do a physical, I got lead in my pencil, bro. I'm only 36. You're ready to write. Ready to go. I got to do something. Sure. But again, we didn't do a physical thing for a long time. Sure, maybe.
Starting point is 01:12:09 I wasn't pushed my whole life to be a physical specimen. And I get it. We don't have to go to the gym. I get it if the knee's in the back and all that stuff. When your body starts to hurt, I do think it probably
Starting point is 01:12:17 fucks with your mental. Yes. And I understand in a basketball perspective, less so than a football player. Whenever football players, I'm like, those guys, after two years in the league, I'd be like, I gotta quit.
Starting point is 01:12:27 That I understand. Baseball, you can't even complain. It's not real. Baseball's not real. And I'm a huge baseball fan. Well, it's not real. I mean, in a sense. So that's the first thing. How could you get hurt? Wait, so tell me the second thing. And like, and I know there's people that are like, shut up. But I really do feel this. Remember that series? I think it was 99 or 2000 where it was the... Remember the Heat Knicks series when we were kids?
Starting point is 01:12:50 Miami Heat, Alonzo Mourning. Alonzo, yeah. And then it was like the LJ, Larry Johnson, Alan Houston. Grandma. Remember? And then they would get into fucking fist fights. Yeah, they would beat the shit out of... Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:00 And you remember, you've seen that photo of Jeff Van Gundy hanging onto Alonzo Mourning's leg? Alonzo Mourning's just... Dragging him. Yes, just dragging him like a that photo of Jeff Van Gundy hanging onto Alonzo Mourning's leg. Alonzo Mourning's just- Dragging him. Yes, just dragging him like a- Didn't Jeff Van Gundy look like the critic? Remember the critic? John Lovitz is the critic.
Starting point is 01:13:10 He looked exactly like him. Yeah. Yeah, dragging him like he was- Yeah, yeah. I'm just like this, this sort of I bounce teams every year. We all go banana boating with each other. This is the arena.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Let's go. I know what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? You miss the days where you were committed to a city a little bit more so than... I'll explain it with comedy. I'll do the comedy equivalent, right? It's like we're buddies, right? But if we get asked to do roast battle...
Starting point is 01:13:40 Yeah, we got to do it. Let's fucking go. What are we doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're right. Everyone is so chummy chummy. And it's like a little bit of like the trading jerseys things does that bother you every game i just want a little like i miss the scrappiness of
Starting point is 01:13:53 it like i do love how like joel mb the other night was like talking to drake and was like i'm coming for the fucking sweep yeah and he was just like kind of barking at drake i was like yeah fuck yeah yeah i know i like that i like it like i miss that i guess what i miss and maybe this is tangled up in the money argument that we just talked about i miss the idea that kevin garnett played in minnesota for a decade you know because he committed to the team and that was the thing to do yeah i do understand that like i do miss a guy um a name being synonymous with a city i do think there was something cool about that there was something cool that i that when i say david robinson you can say the team that he played for it without a doubt right yes there was something cool about that. There was something cool that when I say David Robinson, you can say the team that he played for without a doubt. Right.
Starting point is 01:14:26 There was something beautiful about that. Go get that champion replica jersey, 40 bucks. Come on. And now when somebody goes, LeBron James, what do you say? You're like, well, Cavs, but also, oh yeah, but Miami. And back on the Cavs. Oh yeah, but also. So that is.
Starting point is 01:14:39 And then you become a fan of the player. And again, it takes away from that thing we were talking about earlier. That's the thing that we were talking about. You become such a fan of the player. Yeah team is almost just a shell yeah so i do miss that i know we sound like old men like that like i sound like my dad but that is the one thing i do miss where i can associate a player with a team i don't like going he plays for boston now right because i do that a lot actually though we're conceding so this is i actually think this is a great like position get your money yeah get paid but i want you to scrap like i want to see yes the two best players like head to head being like no fight it out yeah and also i think well
Starting point is 01:15:14 i think salary should be based on performance too oh look well like look at it like this if you and i right my my performance is not good, I'm going to start selling less and less tickets if I start giving less and less effort. People aren't just going to keep showing up. Oh, you're talking about guarantees. This is like guarantees. Yeah, well, guarantees is kind of crazy to me that it's like, well, no, why?
Starting point is 01:15:34 If you're not, and I'm not saying there should be like a statistical number, like you have to hit this many, because then you're playing for numbers. Yeah, yeah. But if it's obvious that you are mailing it in and you're not kind of... Yeah. You're not going... You're not really pushing.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Yeah. Or I'm only going to play X amount of games. Yeah. You know, like they were criticizing Kyrie Irving the other night, you know? It was like, this guy hasn't played more than 60 games. 60 games, and yeah. And you're like, well, what the fuck? That is a piece of me that goes, well, then we kind of chip away a little bit of your money.
Starting point is 01:16:00 Right. I think we chip away a little bit of your money because there's other guys that are playing every fucking game. Right. And they're dying out there for a team and they're getting smoked yeah they're getting smacked through those teams are getting pushed around and they're still showing up and putting on the fucking game yeah so to me there is a little thing of that that i agree with about the money where you're like make sure that they're make sure that they're they give a fuck about it anymore right because if i just gave you 100 million on the table and i said and i said hey man you still got to do um the 50 cities on tour you'd be like why do i have to do all 50 let's do 38 yeah for sure i would be like no no
Starting point is 01:16:34 i'm like no no dude but you don't get the money then and you go well i'll do the 50 and it's like yeah but you got to do it otherwise we won't pay you yeah because otherwise if i just go hey man you can do as many cities as you kind of want on this tour totally yeah that's kind of the thing yeah athletes are listening to us be like you guys don't know shit they don't you don't know anything about anything yeah and i'm trying i'm trying to poke holes in it i'm like wow no no listen you deserve to get paid at the end of the day they sacrifice their body they deserve the money and we're never gonna i don't know how to create the incentive structure though to get like one of my favorite videos of all time is that thing of like it's michael jordan and xavier mcdaniel and they have their foreheads against each other or like there's
Starting point is 01:17:08 this video of just like reggie miller and jordan going at it and then fucking they choke each other i'm like i love that they hated each other yeah i miss that yeah you're not gonna get that anymore do you know what i mean you're you're not gonna get that anymore because people and this isn't the player's fault by the way to way, to wrap this idea up. It's more the idea that teams want these men as chess pieces more to fill in a position that they need. Because the positions have changed, right? Right. The ideas of what a shooting guard and a point guard and a three and a swing, all that stuff has changed anyway.
Starting point is 01:17:41 Completely, yeah. So I think it's more that the system is so different and the teams need guys for certain things anymore versus you're a pacer you're a bull you're a nick you know what i mean that it that had a vibe to it yeah where now it's kind of like yeah that culture i need you as a guy for the squad well look at brooklyn if you want to make fun of anybody look at brooklyn yeah brooklyn was brooklyn was you know brook Brooklyn's like going to Trader Joe's and you're picking out, I want that frozen dish. I want that. This is pre-cooked.
Starting point is 01:18:10 I want, like, all the things are done for you. It's already pre-made. The team was, all you had to do was go pay for it. Sure. And they did. Yeah. And it didn't work out. It's not really working.
Starting point is 01:18:19 I love that. I love it too. I kind of love it when it doesn't work. Oh, I love it when they make it and it fails. I think it's great. What Hollywood does Where they're like The biggest names
Starting point is 01:18:27 The biggest stars And the movie is bad And you're like This is fucking awesome They stack it Remember there was That movie New Year's Eve
Starting point is 01:18:33 The cast was like 28 Oh my god There was so many Famous people Meryl Streep The ghost of Marlon Brando
Starting point is 01:18:38 Didn't do anything Yeah I love that Yeah it's nice You know what I mean Because you want the underdog Yeah You want the low team.
Starting point is 01:18:45 Totally. You want the thin thing to win. Totally. I respect Giannis because of that. He's like, yeah, I could have gone anywhere. And he's trying to draw people to Milwaukee. He's like, I can do it in Milwaukee. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:53 And I'm like, fuck yeah. That's what they're doing out in Salt Lake City too. I appreciate that as well. Yeah. All right, look, I love you. I know you got a jet. You have so much on your plate. Go see this young gentleman.
Starting point is 01:19:02 Thank you, man. Please see me. Hasanmanajj comedy.com Hasan Minhaj just Hasan Minhaj.com just the website alright and I know over the years
Starting point is 01:19:09 I've always said Hasan and you say Hasan yeah but I'm gonna keep saying it my way say it your way because I've said it since we've met yeah you kept it consistent
Starting point is 01:19:17 and I get corrected constantly by Fahim why don't worry about it and Fahim by the way when you're ready for round two for the fight come see me bud
Starting point is 01:19:23 come see Andrew come see me and guess who'll be the ref Asif Asif yeah way, when you're ready for round two for the fight, come see me, bud. Come see Andrew. Come see me. And guess who will be the ref? Asif Ali. Asif. Yeah, Asif will. You knew we both went there at the same time. We end the show the same way.
Starting point is 01:19:32 Beyond the fact that you need to go see this gentleman on tour if he's in your city, if the tickets aren't sold out, which they probably are. You look in that camera right there on your solo and you give us one word or one phrase to end the episode. This is going to be cemented in history. Wow.
Starting point is 01:19:44 So one word or a phrase. Some people, the word shakes them. But if you've got a phrase, deliver it when you're ready. I can just say what the word of the day is? You can say your word or your phrase, but we're going to end on that. So look in that camera and give them what you need. Emphatic. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.
Starting point is 01:20:04 You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.