Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Jeremiah Watkins

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

Santino sits down with Jeremiah Watkins one half of the scissor bros to chat about Las Vegas horror stories, RIP Jonathan Brandis, booking commercials to secure comedy freedom and we share our gripes with the Lee brothers, Bobby and Steebe. COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE WHISKEY Pick up a bottle from a local store or go to rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly use that promo code RABBIT PELOTON Get the ultimate workout not just on the Peloton Bike! So much more to discover at https://onepeloton.com ROMAN Get that rocket going again! $15 off plus free shipping https://getroman.com/whiskey SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it, do whatever you gotta do. Leave a comment down below for the Algo Rhythm. I got a great one for you today. Not a good one, a great one. I got one half of the Scissor Bros. It's Jeremiah Watkins is in the house today. I'm so excited to have this dude here. Go check him out live. I'm on tour as well. AndrewSantino.com, AndrewSantino.com. Right now, I'm in Las Vegas. Lost Wages, baby. Tomorrow night, I'm playing the Wynn Casino. And then I'm going to be playing Dallas and Austin,

Vancouver, Lake Tahoe. We're adding Montclair. Then I'm doing Niagara Falls. I'm jumping all over the place. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com. Come see your boy. Enough rambling. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey. whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Mr. Jeremiah Watkins. One half of the scissor bros, like I said before, you are the, how do we say this?

You're the troublesome one. You're the colorful one. You're the tall one. You're the pale one. You're the one with the social problems. You're the one who gets in the most trouble. Yeah, I'm the bad boy. You're the bad boy of the two.

Yeah. And Steve is what? He's the girl next door. He's the cute little girl next door? Yeah. And what does she do? Oh, she does a lot of bad stuff. Yeah, she kicks her feet up behind her head while she's on the phone with you.

Like her legs over her head? You're talking about put her legs behind her head? She's a contortionist. Whoa, she's a perv. Mm-hmm. Jeremiah and I have known each other for quite a long time. I've done his show. I've also done The Scissor Bros.

Go check that out. If you haven't seen me on that show, I just did it where I stole his baby, and we told the world that Jeremiah and Steve pay me all their residuals for the rest of, I guess, the next 20 years that you guys do a podcast together. Yeah, it's pretty serious.

Yeah, and I want my money soon, by the way, because we're already on the end of the month. Does tonight's appearance count as, like, Sure doesn't. Okay. Yeah, pay I want my money soon, by the way, because we're already on the end of the month. Does tonight's appearance count as like... Sure doesn't. Okay. Yeah, pay up, pal. By the way, I brought my baby.

You delivered the baby back to me after having fun. Your baby's in the car right now? Yeah. Is that safe? I don't know. Is that not something... Well, if you have a Tesla, I know they do that thing with the dogs that says, don't worry, my owner's coming back. Oh, that made me so sad.

We'll get you a, let's get you a Tesla. Okay. Guys, click right here to donate to Jeremiah's Let's Get Jeremiah a Tesla Fund. We started it not too long ago and we already have raised about $185,000. Yeah, it's going pretty good.

So hoping that we can get around to a half a million to get you that Tesla, bud. I brought my baby by the garage the other day. Oh, no. Really? So for those that don't know, I shot Scissor Bros with the boys, and we shoot it in Jeremiah's garage. And the baby was traumatized because Jeremiah woke him up right as he was about to take a nap,

put him in my hands, and he had no idea what was going on. And he bawled. He was crying the whole time. As soon as we put him in Andrew's arms. Just scream. Just like immediately. And he's not a what was going on. And he bawled. He was crying the whole time. As soon as we put him in Andrew's arms. Just immediately. Just like immediately. And he's not a big crier like that. But it's funny because I'm great with kids.

I'm great with babies. But also, I didn't know how to hold your kid. So I did put one thumb in his butt. I don't know if that's, maybe that's what made him cry. I don't know. That's how I do it. Oh, right. No, he's used to that.

And then you carry him around like, because in case one hand slips, you can always hold him with this hand. Globetrotter style. I just spin him. Ooh, you spin him. Yeah. I'm getting him young early. He's been early. Were you a Hooper?

Mm-hmm. Because you played in the Comics League. Yeah, yeah. A long time ago. Were you a Hooper when you were a kid? Yeah. You were. Yeah.

And then you gave it up. I mean, I think we all have. No, I think you gave it up. I think you could have been something, bud, and you gave it up. You think so? Well, I don't know anymore. You could have made it to at least the WN thank you for that yeah yeah i think it's competitive i think i could have been a ladybug version of you know so good rodney dangerfield what a movie

it's a solid what a great reference people that don't know what a movie the ladybugs if you uh maybe you prefer the she's all that amanda bes version. No, thanks. That's a pass from me. Okay. I'll take Ladybugs. Who was the female star of Ladybugs? It was a kid that, I don't remember the, yeah. Who was the boy? Do you remember the boy?

No, no. The boy that dressed up like a girl, right? That was the whole thing? Yeah, I don't think he went on to do a ton of other movies. You say that, it's Zach Braff. Yeah. It's like, oh, wow. Robert Downey Jr.

I said Zach Braff because I just saw his name on a big poster. He's redoing, look at him, it looks like I'm on the phone, but I'm not. I'm looking this up.

Lady Bugs. What? Yeah, Lady Bugs. Roddy Dangerfield. It's not Anthony Michael Hall or something like that. Jonathan Brandis. Jonathan Brandis was the boy.

He was very famous. You don't remember this kid? No. What else was he in? You remember him, dude. He passed away. Did he really? Yeah, 2003.

He died. From? He died at 27 years old. I know you think I'm making a joke here, but I'm dead serious. No, no. Sometimes I can't tell your dad. I really can't tell your dad. Jonathan Brandes.

Yeah, he died. Siri, all facts. Jonathan Brandes. Yeah, he died. Siri, all facts on Jonathan Brandes. Download now. It just said yucky for some reason. Jonathan Brandes, yucky. I don't know why it did that. Maybe his death was... Let's guess how he died.

I'm going to go with drug overdose. Yours? Hooker. Actor. Oh, you think a hooker killed him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Good guess.

He was found... Oh, no. Do you want to hear this? Mm-hmm. November 11, 2003. Brandes was found hanged no. Do you want to hear this? Mm-hmm. November 11, 2003, Brandis was found hanged in the hallway of a Los Angeles apartment. He hung himself.

Ooh. Died the following day of injury sustained from the hanging. He was 27. He did not leave a suicide note. This is way to go, dude. Way to bring up something so traumatic. I'm sorry I brought up ladybugs, guys.

Why the fuck did you do that? I didn't mean to. I didn't think it would start with a sour note. Something tells me that you knew Dude, scumbag You did Yeah, I did

Get ready You know, the last time that I did your show I was in Las Vegas Yes Which I'm in right now I'm in Vegas right now Oh, no

This weekend, I'm in Las Vegas Oh, and the shows have been going amazing Well, there's only one show It's tomorrow night, but yeah No, but it feels like two shows because you pack so much punch into it And where am I playing again? The Wind, Las Vegas Oh, show. It's tomorrow night, but yeah. No, but it feels like two shows because you pack so much punch into it.

And where am I playing again? The Wind, Las Vegas. Oh, that part you did get right. Oh, yeah. Where did we do the interview when we did Vegas? We did it at the Tropicana in my hotel room. Because I was playing Jimmy Kimmel's Club. You guys were at the Laugh Factory?

No, that was a different time. One of the times I met you there in Vegas, we were in Vegas a couple times at the same time. One time you were headlining the Tropicana and Sandra was featuring at the Laugh Factory and I had a last minute host set

that they asked me to come do. And then a different time I met up with you because I was featuring over at the factory and you were headlining over at Brad Garrett's. Or Jimmy Kimmel. No, no, no. Jimmy Kimmel. I never headlinedimmel and brad's a good buddy and i love brad but he came to see you at the laugh factory shows that's where i got the bread i love him he's he is the man and i never played his his room i don't know if it's still around but i i hear it's good is it

yeah still i mean it was good i just never got around because every date that they had given me i was like i'm already booked on something else and brad would call like he would like call and text me last minute be like i did you next week and i was like next how i was like there's no way he's like gotta do it and i'm like it's impossible i literally can't i'm doing something i'm sure i'm i'm sure at the time i'm sure i was booked in some whatever room where i was doing like six or eight show did you ever do do an eight-show weekend? Dude, I did one of those weekends where I did 16 shows. That's not real. I did eight days in Vegas once. They asked me to stay over at the Laugh Factory.

I did an eight-day run. You did 16 shows. And for like $147? You got it, baby. You better cash those checks. Oh, yeah. Wait, seriously, that's insane. They just asked you to stay because somebody dropped out for the second run?

Yes. They're like, can you come in a day early because somebody needs to leave soon, and then we need you to do the full week. And I was like, yeah, sure. But like you agreed to it because you need money at the moment, but eight days doing shows in Vegas is nearly impossible. No thanks. Especially, your boy ate the cafeteria food every day.

You ate in the basement. Oh yeah. Me and Bobby have talked about this on Bad Friends. Where the asbestos and everything was. It's so sad. That's where Legionnaires came from. You have to eat in the basement. The employees eat in the basement, but it's so rude because it's like, this is not a healthy

place. It's just, it feels so sad there's also no windows or clocks i got accused every day of being a thief of stealing that's back when i had long hair and they're like how did you get down here i'm like i'm an employee that's so sad when you flash that card i know i'm like i'm an employee i stopped eating down there because the first day we did it and sandra and I was like let's go somewhere else because I just it was it made me so sad oh no no I could see how people

get really depressed very quickly I'm gonna have a little bit of this rabbit hole just to switch up because I don't want to talk about how sad Vegas basements are

so so far Jeremiah's killing it with the ladybug references the suicidal tendencies in basements in Vegas should we start this rabbit hole I'm having some of this

you don't have any because you don't drink and that's fine. You don't have to. That's not requirement of this show, but I'd love to break your no drinking.

It's because you just, you can't. I never have. You pour that in slow. You pour that in like a little. Oh, yeah. Oh, you feel that? You've never had a drink

in your entire life. You've never had an inclination to have a drink never had a drug you've had a cigarette no uh you kissed a guy no but that's the closest you've never kissed a guy not in the mouth no you've had anal raw dog okay you got me man you're a bad boy oh I told you I'm the bad boy of the deal. So this sauce never wanted to touch your lips? I don't know if that's 100% true of the want or the curiosity at some points, but I know my personality, not a good mix. You think you'd be an addict? I think so.

You come from addict tendencies? Yes, and I do have addict tendencies. Who's an addict in your family? Can you say all? so you come from addict tendencies yes and i do have addict tendencies you're but i just i was an addict in your family uh can you say all all of them really i think all of them have different addictive tendencies and some of them like have had for sure have had issues with alcohol and stuff like that like i come from that my dad was an addict not yeah it was drugs not alcohol but i think oh slow down with that water bub but I think it's something

that yeah you have to choose I just chose well your addiction is comedy and entertainment yeah and obviously you're addicted and you're and it's hurting you and those around you so you should stop

this is an intervention to get you to around you. So you should stop. This is an intervention to get you to quit comedy. We want you to stop. It's gotten out of control. Okay, yeah. Too many posts, too many... It's too many everything. Too many everything. It's too much Jeremiah.

I mean, you know, I see the comments. It's bad. Wait till they get onto this video. I think when I saw your first talent, by the way, when I really saw your talent and your ability, I'm being genuine, is during Kill Tony's. Because I knew you as a comedian,

and I've known you for years, but when I really saw you do what you did on Kill Tony's, on the Kill Tony show or on the episodes of Kill Tony, it was really impressive. It really was to watch what you guys did. Yeah, a lot of good times. It was just cool to watch you guys create fun characters and to stretch the limits and also to...

You guys kind of didn't back down at all. You really tried crazy shit. And it didn't matter if it wasn't really working right away because sometimes it wouldn't. And you guys would just plow through it and it would work sometimes uh and this is something that we had to figure out ourselves sometimes we would let tony completely set us up which was a mistake because like if it's our characters we need to just like an improv scene you got to establish what you want out of it, right? Sure.

So sometimes if we let him do it, just out of like him just observation, he'd label something that we're like, no, it's actually this. And if we didn't set it up, then it might be the wrong chain of events for a whole episode. So we had to figure that out down the road.

Like, yo, we got to come out, say exactly what we are, tell the crowd what we are. So they can start getting on board because if not, then it's a shaky ground. Did you ever get worried? Because you seem like a very protective guy. You're somebody that usually makes sure you're not going to offend. Do you know what I mean by that?

I don't know. You don't seem like a I don't seem you don't seem um i don't think i yeah i don't seem like i don't give a shit guy you seem like a i like to have fun but i definitely don't want someone to be like hey man that's not okay i don't with me specifically i don't ever try to purposely offend anybody that's my point yeah you'll go out of your way i don't go out of my way if it happens and it's funny though i'm like it's funny you don't care yeah that eh, it's funny. You don't care. Yeah, that's how I am. See, from face value, I always think you're thoughtful about your approach. You're never,

I never feel like you're shooting from the hip. And this is not a negative thing, but I always feel like you're not someone that's going to get caught up in your own words. There's not going to be a Jeremiah Watkins N-word video. No. And here it is. God, how great we press play.

Just 20 minutes of you saying the N-word. Cancel him now. Right now. now now but i just think you're some people are much more delicate in their approach i feel like some people are flying the plane without instructions and i feel like you're you went to class and you studied and you're i think you understand what you're doing in comedy and you want to make sure that you're not um doing something out of turn so to speak do you know what i mean by this yes and no i i think um i think with kill tony i think that you i think you're dead on with that specifically with kill tony with my stand-up i'd probably disagree with you yeah yeah with kill tony because i was the kind of lighter sillier side yeah so i wanted i went

out of my way yeah to kind of make it lighter and stuff like that but with my stand-up i'm a very shoot from the hip person where sometimes i say stuff where i'm just like maybe it's also then your look too your face doesn't have like a mean you don't have like a if you said something foul I knew you were I'd know you're kidding that yeah that does help sometimes looks like a Midwest Norman Rockwell kid like like like shoot a basketball poorly hold a basketball poorly yeah look at that that looks like it yeah yeah there it is he's lost three two shoot it yeah brick underhand yeah, yeah, there it is. He's lost. Three, two, shoot it. Yeah, brick.

Underhand. Yeah, see? Yeah, yeah. I just think your demeanor, your personality, your style, all this stuff makes up who we are as comics, and audience members kind of don't know that sometimes. But like your stance, your rhythm, all that stuff about you, if you said something crazy and fucked up,

I just, I know that there's no vitro behind it. It's kind of a good quality to have. People. You got a sweet fucking face, bud. Oh, thank you. The kid's got a sweet face. People like when I have breakdowns on stage, though. What do you mean?

People like it when you freak out? Oh, yeah. Because I have a little bit, I think that we share this. I think we've got a little bit of the inner rage at times. I'm a psychopath. I'm for sure. share this I think we've got a little bit of the inner rage I'm a psychopath I'm for sure I think we've got a little we share a little bit of that where it's like it's like below the surface but sometimes

on stage if I'm frustrated with the response I'm getting or if it's a frustration with myself I start to fly off the handle and the audience likes it because I seem like I'm well put together but then I'm just I lose it you explode yeah yeah have you had a moment where it's gone really really bad and you felt bad about it um you said some shit to somebody no i mean you're like look at this stupid fat bitch and

it just and it all came out no i only this was years ago i made somebody cry at a show on accident really yeah on accident what'd you do it was a thing where like somebody yelled something out at a show where it was like it was like 10 people in there and it was like when i was back doing shows that were mixed with improv teams and stand up at the same time and like in these little black box theaters and stuff like that african-american box go ahead yeah um but there's this girl who's like that's a will farrell bit i'm like what are you talking about i'm like what is the bit that you're referring to she goes i don't know it just sounds like will farrell and i was like i just lost it i was like you just accused me of stealing a joke and will farrell doesn't even do stand-up what are you

talking about i just went off on her yeah and then she was one of the improvisers on on the what a fucking idiot i know she's a fucking idiot. I know. She's a fucking idiot. Do you know her name? No. Find out her name. Let's kill her. Okay. Find out where this idiot lives. Yeah, right?

Sounds like a Will Ferrell bit. I don't like that. Well, there's a guy at the improv. It was a week ago. He was just chumming it up in the front row. And I tell this joke about Superman being bisexual. Have you seen me do that? Hmm. You know, they made the next iteration about Superman being bisexual. Have you seen me do that? Hmm.

You know, they made the next iteration of Superman is bisexual and I'm not going to do the joke, but I talk about it and he starts like really getting vocal. He's like, oh, gross, fucking gross. And at first I'm thinking he's kind of joking. But then I turn and I'm like, you have a huge problem with the next iteration of Superman being bisexual. It's his son.

You can look it up. And he was like, yeah, I don't want my kids looking at that shit. And if everyone, now this isn't what I wanted to have happen, but everyone started booing. They all collectively started booing that guy? Well, yeah, it started with a few, you know, and then it turns into, do you know what I mean? It turns into that weird like what it's it's like not even audible at some point

right and he's like giving the finger and he's wasted and his girlfriend couldn't be more embarrassed and it was like when I was a kid I remember exploding on people

I remember being at the improv and it being like 14 people and just lighting up somebody because they were just being a fucking asshole. Yeah. And I didn't even get satisfaction even when you would light them up

and everyone would laugh. You were still at the end, you felt dirty. It's almost like coming where you're, when it's awesome and any moment you come, you're like,

it was sad a little bit. Like it felt great. Yeah. I was sad. Right at, I was like immediately the moment after I was sad and I, I zapped back to that moment

and, and I did, I wasn't mean to him at all. I like are you is this fun for you dude right you look this is sad if you can handle it more in a clever way you always feel better than being like you're a piece of shit yeah and then you win in a weirder way you know like neil brennan came back and was like dude the way you handle that was wild he was like it was great because i also had to come up with a couple of jokes like off the cuff like that like he had said something like yeah dude, the way you handled that was wild. He was like, it was great. Because I also had come up with a couple of jokes like off the cuff like that. Like he had said something like, yeah, he's like, you know, Superman being bisexual is blah, blah, blah,

whatever. And I was like, wait till you find out Batman is trans. And then I just went on these other rants about what superheroes he'd be the most mad about if they found out that they were XYZ. And it just kind of worked. In the moment, it worked. And Neil was like, oh man, that was genuinely

the best version of it. But I was so kind of bummed when I got off stage aboutil was like oh man that was genuinely the best version of it but i was so kind of bummed when i got off stage about the ending of the set because he fucked it up yeah that i was mad and he was like no dude it was good i was like no that pissed me off i'm mad i let him get in a little bit he was like you didn't so it's like i think with age we've learned over the years to just you you're never going to win by like making them cry, shitting on them. You don't win. You just, you don't win.

You don't feel good at the end of the night, no. Yeah, you lose. But it's funny, but if you can do it clever and not be like, fuck you, asshole. If you can do a clever way of wrapping them into the jokes,

then I think you take a big W. Yeah. It's harder to do. I had a guy who was so weird. He came in 20 or 30 minutes into my headlining set over the weekend with his girl. His girl was there. And he comes in and sits down. I go, because sometimes you're like, okay, somebody went to the bathroom in the middle

of bed and they came back and I go, did you just get here? He goes, yeah. I go, oh, well let's fight then. And then this dude looked at me. He was ready to fight. I was like, dude, clearly I'm joking. What are you talking about? He's like, this is why I show up late. I'm looking for a fucking fight, bud.

Strap up. It was so, and then this girl goes on to say, he left i go so i need to impress you he goes he goes i i'm thinking about getting an uber i go you just got here like so you're judging me immediately seeing if i need to make you laugh in two to three minutes like your fares are going up outside as we're talking i like this guy and and he's like yeah man yeah i go okay well here i'll give you a couple jokes. This dude was laughing at the jokes, and then he ended up leaving. And then I start talking to this girl, and she goes, yeah, he's so insecure.

He keeps claiming that I'm cheating on him and stuff. And so he keeps checking on me when I'm out and stuff like that in public. He wasn't supposed to come. Oh, this is so weird. Was she alone? Yeah. Well, that is sus. It was so bizarre. But it's sus for her to be like, I'm going to this comedy show totally by myself. No, she just wanted to get away from? Yeah. Well, that is sus. It was so bizarre.

But it's sus for her to be like, I'm going to this comedy show totally by myself. No, she just wanted to get away from that guy. Yeah, that's what it is. She's running away from this nutbag. She's running away from him. And then I go, do you live with this guy? She goes, yeah, he lives with me. Like, my name's on the lease.

I go, why are you with this guy? I don't understand, like, how, like, women will stay with these guys sometimes. I'm like, I don't get it. I mean, and guys stay with these women. This is a two-way street. People stay with people because they're scared to not be with anybody yeah how old are you now 33 you're in love you have a baby you're married you're happy if it was ripped away from you you'd be fucking lost yeah so it's kind of like people get when they get settled into

something that they enjoy even if the person goes nuts or goes crazy or becomes a psycho it's like it's still easier than maybe doing a hard reset yeah like i just watched the um the bad vegan or whatever did you see this documentary oh my god this is about this woman and she's like in her in her narrative is held captive by this psycho dude who's not physically abusive but like emotionally and mentally just like a trap, you know, like a trickster, and is stealing money from her. But you're also like, at so many points, you're like, lady, get out of there.

What are you doing? But also there's manipulation that makes people feel like they're supposed to stay. It's super fucked up to watch. From an outside- Have you ever been in many relationships like that where you felt like trapped where you needed to stay

no I mean my college girlfriend I felt scared to leave her because she like threw a knife one time at me did you catch it with my teeth and then I I cut something up

no she she was going to move to Los Angeles with me but I knew and then you pulled a roof over you you're like I wish you were my dad. I wish I had a dad like you. I wish I had a dad like you. She was going to move to LA with me, but I knew that was a bad idea.

I was like, you got to let me go to LA alone. It wasn't right. I didn't want to move her away from what she knew. And then in the end, it was the right decision. But I was, yeah, I was afraid to go to LA alone. I thought it would be way easier with a partner because i knew nobody out here and then also yeah i was i did still love her so but i just knew it could this couldn't go on yeah and i was like i'm not we're not going to do a long distance so i was like you gotta do your thing and i've got to do my thing and fail at

comedy for the first couple of years because Because you do. Those nights that you're drowning, when you first move here, you got to do it on your own. When did you move here from Kansas? 2009. And you know that the first couple of years here are probably the hardest years you've ever had. Oh yeah, for sure.

You don't come from money. No. So mom and dad weren't siphoning money to keep you afloat? No. Did you have a shitty day job? Yeah, I worked at Starbucks the first two and a half years. Did you?

Yeah, yeah. Can you make me a mocha frap right now? Come on, dude. Let me see the hands. Let's see if you can do it. Three, two, one. I was so bad at it. Oh, man.

This already looks like a fucking nightmare. What is he grabbing? What are you grabbing? I was so bad at this job. What is that? Is that my milk? What is that? Okay. All right, so, kid, that's a scoop. He nightmare. What is he grabbing? What are you grabbing? I was so bad at this job. What is that? Is that my milk? What is that? All right, so that's a scoop.

He's got one scoop of what? Another scoop. All right, one more scoop. What is that? Is that caramel? No, this is the chocolate. Oh, that's the chocolate? That's the chocolate.

Did I want chocolate? It's the mocha. Let me talk to your manager. Okay. Hey, there's this fiery redhead that's up front that's really wanted to talk to you, and he wants a coupon can i just give him a coupon i'll just give everybody coupons you would dude i was the guy they're like hey here's the thing about my i'm like here's a coupon they're like really i go

yeah it was just a free drink free drink that's amazing i'd be like free drink and they're like it would extinguish their anger immediately like oh thank you i go yeah sorry about the wait immediately and then like at the end of like a week my manager be like jeremiah we're missing a hundred free coupons do you know what happened to him like i don't know i think caleb look at caleb yeah he probably took them yeah i love the idea of you giving someone a coupon and they're like you know i was gonna kill someone today and this really you would be surprised what a free drink will do for somebody's day. Shocks.

Shocks their whole day. Especially if they're like, hey, man, how much longer? I go, free coupon for a drink? And they're like, okay, thank you. Like, immediately. That's all they want. They just want to be acknowledged that you're wrong or whatever. In here, we pour whiskey.

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You just want to be like wrecking. You don't want them to go, this sucks. You're right. You know when people tweet at airlines and stuff? All it would take for them to be like, hey, we'll give you an upgrade the next time. A free...

You know what I mean? They do. Do they? Yeah, the airlines. They'll go, we'll DM you. And then they DM you like, we'll give you 10,000 points or miles or whatever. And then even though it's insignificant,

it doesn't mean anything. And miles are a scam. Don't get into miles, by the way. Do them, use them, but they're a scam. I had a cousin who got into miles. Got pretty slippery. What ended up happening? Heard of Paul Walker.

I actually left it open for Jonathan Brandes. I thought you were going to say it was Jonathan. Another tragedy. No, it's just like people just want acknowledgement. They just want to feel like they're not alone. Or that they're just being heard.

Yeah, listen to, please listen to me. Right? That's all it takes. It's true. Just give me a little bit of, a little zhuzh, you know? I just,

I stayed at this hotel. I complained because it was extremely expensive. It was a little at this hotel i complained because it was extremely expensive it was a little getaway for us and it was not worth the money and they the manager i didn't make a stink while we were there but when we left he was like how was everything and i was like i gotta tell you i was bummed about a few things like really bummed and he was like seriously and he like listened to me and then i thought this isn't gonna change anything i already paid who gives a fuck it's over but he did hear it and whether or not it it like sunk in or it was just

like in one ear out the other fuck me next you know yeah it still was nice for him to be like I'm sorry man that this is that's not okay I'll try to address those things it made me go all right man all right all right yeah I didn't burn it to the ground I was going to light the whole room on fire that makes sense I I stayed at a place with my wife uh a couple weekends ago it was kind of like a weekend getaway thing for like a night and uh we opened the blinds and dirty panties fell out of the blinds and we're like i knew i left 130 I knew. Dude, I was searching for hours where are my dirty bannies? Yeah. Wait, they fell out of the blinds?

Dude. What color? They were like these like purplish burgundy. Don't pretend like you didn't look. And they were soiled. Were they? They were women.

This girl nutted in them. Really? Yeah. You picked them up? You investigated? No. Wifey, we got a problem here. No, I took a problem here.

No, I took a picture and I go, I hate to be this guy, but there's dirty panties on the floor of the room that we just checked into. And they were like, oh my, I'm so sorry. What do you imagine happened? I think that a guy and a girl got hot and heavy. They went up against the window. He quickly took her freaking panties off. Okay. Threw them in the blinds. Okay.

Freaking, just went for it, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he just stuffed them back in the blinds, right? Stuff them in the blinds.

What a weird thing to stuff them in the blinds. Right? That's where I'm lost. Yeah. They get thrown on the floor, they get thrown on a lampshade like in a movie.

Who's taking them off and is like, right in the blinds? Yeah, just get in there. Ooh, stuff them in the blinds. Oh, crap, I'm forget about it. Maybe that's a thing. They like to hide their underwear. Maybe that's a thing. They like to hide their underwear.

Maybe that's their thing. That's their kink. That's their fetish. Yes. Uh-huh. I always leave a used condom inside the Bible, you know, the Gideon's Bible, next to the bed. Oh, yeah.

I always do that. I use a condom. In the beginning. Yeah. What's your dirty hotel secret? Everybody has one. What do you do in the hotel that you shouldn't do it's not

I jerk off too much you jerk off the whole time in the hotel a lot you use the towels or what do you do it I use a Kleenex you do you use a Kleenex so weird you don't use a towel they're right there

I'm too shamed. I see the towel later in the weekend. I'm like, I came in that thing. I'd rather come and Kleenex flush it and then forget about my guilt. Your little dirty secret. Because, okay, do you ever pull too many Kleenexes and you see that there's an old color that's underneath the Kleenexes? Well, that means it's about to run out. Right.

Yeah. It's every week. So you get rid of all the Kleenex? You go through a box of Kleenex every time you're on the road? I go through all the white Kleenex in the box, and then there's just the pink and brown Kleenexes left. That's you. That's how old they are.

That's you. Because what they do is they stack new ones on top of this old layer from the 80s. But I always get down to the layer from the 80s. Holy shit, Jeremiah. What about toilet paper? No. Why Kleenex? Because toilet paper sticks

to you as soon as you in it. But you're going to get in the shower anyway. Mm-mm. You come and go. like the gas station. Or you go to bed. Yeah. It's like how I wind down. Do you jerk off before a show?

Never. Really? Never, ever, ever, ever. Why? You're afraid you get too tired on stage? I'm like Muhammad Ali. You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to wait until the fight's over.

That's interesting. I never come. I literally, I won't have sex with my wife before shows. Really? Nope. Wow. I don't like it. Well, she doesn't like it either, but she's doing it, so, you know, tip of the cap to the old wife. Yeah. She gets it.

She gets it. I mean, she... Over the years. Yeah, she gets it over the years. And then she gets it later, you know what I'm saying? From who? From another guy? Yeah, man. I'm a cuck. You like to watch? Yeah, Big Black Guys black guys big black guys you're a watcher yeah yeah i'm a watcher i'm like a bird watcher i'm a bird watcher i'm a bird watcher watching birds fuck my wife watching them all did you imagine that is such a concept that I can't wrap my head around.

If you have an open relationship and you want your significant other to have fun, fine. But to watch it blows my mind. I will never understand that. Why do you want to see it? Well, obviously you have a thing where you like men more than you think you do. I think it's masochistic. I think people like the pain. You think it's the power? No, I think they like the pain.

I think they like the... You know like when somebody cuts themselves or when someone like i think when you sit in a depressive state and it almost feels good because it's so sad you know when you listen to sad music when you're in a bad place and it like kind of like ruminates this fucking self-torture i think people that are cucks it's a chemical thing where the this like this dark deep sad hurtful thing they they kind of just love it like it's sick and they love it do you have a sad sound soundtrack that you listen to when i'm in a really sad place which is ironic because even when i'm not in a sad place i like the music but i always listen to classical classical music um ludovicio Einaudi is like one of my favorite composers. Fabrizio Polazzi, I think is his other.

I listen to like really old school classical. Strings and. Piano. Oh, piano. And it's so miserably sad and fuck, I love it. I love it. I don't know. I don't know why.

I just, it's just so deep deep a piano is such a sad instrument for some reason it can be yeah i cannot it doesn't have to be but for me it always was the depth of those of the chords always seemed just sad yeah when when played in this fashion sure you know i'm sure that's great. But for some reason, piano slowly always has this sombering thing for me. What's your sad music? Have you seen the Batman? There's something in the way.

No, but Mad World is one of them. That song is so fucking... It's... Mad World. All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places. Worn out places.

Dude, it is so hurtful. That song... Also, I do like... There are songs that, you know, Golden Brown. Golden Brown, texture like sun, lays me down. In my mind she runs throughout

the night. No need to fight. Never a frown with Golden Brown. Dude, that song is, and I wish we could play it, but we'll get to it. There's some Simon and Garfunkel. I mean, the Lighty Dies. Lighty Die.

Yeah. That's gunshots. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a car door slamming. He's like. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Or like really old slow music.

You know William Bell? Do you know that? I forgot to be your lover. Like, yeah. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Or like really old slow music. You know William Bell? Do you know that? Mm-mm. I forgot to be your lover. Like, yeah, there's so much sad music, but for some reason, that old classical shit, I'll send you off with some when you leave.

Okay. Oh, dude. If it's a long ride home somewhere, like, I don't know where we were driving from, me and Chris O'Connor, the guy that comes with me on the road, I don't know where we where we were driving from me and uh chris o'connor the guy that comes with me on the road i we i don't know where we were driving cleveland to to pit maybe or something like that yes decent drive it was like one of those midwest runs you know and in the beginning we had on like talking heads and i was and then later i was just jamming to really sad shit.

And just the humming of the wheels and the nothingness of the road. It just caves in on your brain. You're like, what am I doing with my life? Is this worth it? Yeah. It is, though. Because, look, you could be back at Starbucks making a double mocha frappuccino. Oh, dude.

I'm always so freaking grateful to be doing comedy full-time. Two years at Starbucks and then what? Did you ever work another shitty day job? No, I got very fortunate. You hit the lottery. Booked a national commercial. That was the lottery back then. That's what I mean.

You hit the lottery, yeah. Yeah. What was the natty for? Chevy Volt. Huge. Those things back in the day paid for you know a couple years right paid a year of my bills straight that's awesome so and people kept asking me they're like so what do you spend your money on i go rent and food because i'm going to do comedy i'm not gonna

people kept like you're gonna buy a car you're gonna buy this i'm like no i'm gonna use that that's gonna be literally my deposit on my new life. My new life. Yeah. And then you slowly built after that and got and got and got. You know what I mean? Like enough, I was able to get little gigs here and there, acting stuff, comedy stuff here and there where like I could keep sustaining. Obviously, some years are harder than others as it always is.

But like, I haven't had a day job since the beginning of 2012. Look at this guy. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah, dude. Good for you. Yeah, dude. Good for you, dude. That's, I mean, one thing really does crack it sometimes. I remember when I got to quit my day job forever,

and that's like the moment is cool. Because I booked a National. I booked a Mike's Hard Lemonade commercial. But it wasn't enough money back then. I don't think it was enough to sustain. And it was, it wasn't, it didn't run. Although they ran it all the fucking time, but they made it seem like they weren't going to run it.

Like I would get phone calls, be like, you're on ESPN. Because it was for NASCAR season, like the height of NASCAR season, which is all the time. I did a coffee bean commercial that was, I literally got paid like 500 bucks for it.

It was like a non-union thing. And it played on Hulu non-stop and i had almost got more eyes on that than see we should be able to fucking sue for that for back back back wages you know i think that's called reparations i think that's not for us oh i looked into it oh you did white reparations yeah white repar reparations. And the first response was, what's up? Are you kidding me? Google just responds,

did you mean to type this at all? Did you mean to close your laptop and throw it out the window immediately? Yeah. We do deserve,

whites do deserve reparations. You know, Jeremiah's been saying that for a long, long time. I've been saying, yeah, that's been my campaign. White reps, white reparations.

What do you got there? I got a little gift for you. Can I see this beautiful piece of artwork that you've got? I saw it a little bit in the hallway, but I... Oh, my God. Look at how cool this is. It's pretty dope. Wow, this is so sick for our friends at home,

so you can see. Yeah. This is a Scissor Bros Bad Friends collab. I don't know if I should do it at this camera or the other one. A Scissor Bros Bad Friends collab. Who is this drawn by? Joel Stokes. the other one. Scissor Bros Bad Friends Collab. Who is this drawn by? Joel Stokes. He does art for Scissor Bros every week.

And when we were doing the Bad Friends and Scissor Bros crossover stuff, when we had Rudy on the show and Doc on the show. So cool, dude. We did an X-Men themed. So you're Sabretooth. And I think Bobby's the blob. He's the blob for sure. But the muscly blob.

Also, by the way i want to point out you guys andre's rudy doc are on our show and yet you've painted them as your team yeah it's because we took them for a little while no they're ours well we took them we rented them you know i don't like this imagine i rip it right in half. Oh, man. Tino? Come on, man. What are you doing, man? Come on, I did one episode on Bad Friends. You know I ain't part of Scissor Bros, Tino.

Come on, man. Damn, man. This dude, he opened for me, or hosted down in, thank you for that. This is really sweet. It's going to go right in the trash. He hosted down in Irvine and did really great, actually. And I was worried because

when I took him down to San Diego, I was like, Doc, do like 10 to 12 minutes. Because we had other people on the show. And he did like 27 minutes. Man, you know how to see the light, Tino? And at a theater show, the stage, the clock is right at your feet. Literally at your feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unmistakable. It's where your toes are is a huge

fucking digital clock it says right on it i thought it was 27 o'clock man come on tino didn't mean that man but we laughed we let him go but you know i was just like doc don't let's not do a repeat let's not do that again can i tell you something don nervine all four shows boom boom boom boom boom he did 10 minutes and a half 10 and a half minutes on the nose he's a a crusher. Yeah, he did a great job. I was really proud of him. Yeah. I was really proud.

I was like, because also he's an experienced comic, but he was super professional and I'll never work with him again, but it was fun. Yeah. Yeah. He's not worth it.

I'll never see him ever again on the stage, but good guy. He's doing shows with me next weekend, so. You've taken another one terrible another one some would say you and steve are the gay me and bobby what do you respond to that um if it can get gayer than you and bobby i guess so sick little burn yeah it was there's nothing gay about bobby and i cut to him kissing my penis at the first episode we ever did yeah yeah big deal what is is that the is that the height of the gatum for you guys with unfortunately with bobby i'm comfortable enough

with my sexuality that none of that stuff bothers me at all well you did that you did that bathtub naked thing right with uh with little dicky what are you talking about no with bob didn't you do an episode where you're both like naked in a bath yeah in mexico yeah he was he was fully nude yeah there you go yeah but that's but that's bobby more than anything else bobby wants to be he is a nudist he's an exhibitionist have you have are you comfortable with your body naked would you get naked on camera for the show yeah if we censor yeah i've had to yeah we've had to done we've had to do a couple things that like are you comfortable with your body naked? Would you get naked on camera for the show? Yeah, if we censor it,

yeah. I've had to, yeah, we've had to do a couple things that like, the most uncomfortable thing that I did,

I lost one of our challenges. We were playing Jenga and Steve came up with this game called Toe Jenga where the loser had to suck on the winner's toe.

No thanks, big pass. Dude, I freaking lost somehow. You sucked on Stevie's toe? Yeah. No fucking, did you go get tested?

I literally, it was the hardest, one of the hardest I've gagged in my entire life. I've never even put my wife's foot in my mouth. I'm not a, I hate feet.

It's a thing. Oh, you're one of those guys. I hate feet. And he didn't know this about me. I'm like, I don't know if I can do this. And he goes, he goes,

you got to man, you got to. And then I, like I did, I just if I can do this. And he goes, you got to, man. You just got to. And then I did it. I was dry. It was horrible. By the way, you've never put your wife's foot in your mouth? Do it. Try it once.

Really? I bet your wife has nice feet. She does have nice feet. I'm sure she has clean feet. Freaking nicer than Steve's. Dude, suck on a toe, bud. Yeah? You been there?

Oh, yeah. You popped a toe in? I'll suck on a couple of little piggies. Yeah, a little cuticle. This one went to the market. Yeah? This one went to Gelson's. This one went to John's, not Vaughn's, because it's on a budget.

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Is it? Yeah. Interesting. I mean, Amazon and Whole Foods are one. They own them now. Yeah. You know who stocks those? Who?

Doc. Yeah, man. Yeah, no, I'll be stocking that grocery. I do your groceries, Tino. That's literally what he does. I do the Whole Foods. They moving me over to Whole Foods, but you know, we'll see. Because he works for Amazon. So Amazon has a stock room, but they also now are sourcing from Whole Foods. They moving me over to Whole Foods, but you know, we'll see. Because he works for Amazon.

So Amazon has a stock room, but they also now are sourcing from Whole Foods. But that's a good answer. TJ's was number one for you. Respect on TJ's. Oh, sprouts sometimes. I do not fuck with sprouts.

They have home run pizza. Home run? They do? Yes. Home run pizza? I did a sprouts right after the show. Dude, it's literally

the best frozen pizza that I've found. What's your Midwest fat food that you miss? Ooh. You were never a fat kid. Just barbecue. Just barbecue.

Yeah, KC barbecue. I always get Joe's when I go back there. You like Oklahoma Joe's? That's my favorite. That's interesting. I'm a Gates guy. Gates is good, but I like Joe's way more. There's less black people at Joe's.

I get what you're saying. Jeremiah is an outright racist, and it doesn't matter what color of brown his shoes or sweater are. We know how he feels about people with melanin. Oklahoma Joe's is good. Gates is always better to me because I like the white bread shit. I like the old school Wonder Bread. I like that too, but yeah.

I mean, we're talking ribs and stuff too? I'm not a big rib guy, dude. Oh, okay. Well, this is where we... I know. See, ribs are fine. I know people and stuff too? I'm not a big rib guy, dude. Oh, okay. Well, this is where we... I know. See, ribs are fine. I know people love them, but I like brisket. I like burnt ends.

Have you had the Z-Man sandwich at Joe's? I don't know. I mean, I have enough Kansas friends where over the years they fed me all the shit that I'm supposed to eat. Well, I know. You introduced me to Travis Kelsey. I did. It was a nice...

Did I introduce you to Pat? He was still watching the show so uh yeah you introduced me to kelsey i got very very nice that's just a complete coincidence by the way because i went to college with a bunch of kansas city dudes and literally like five of my good friends are from kc yeah uh and then when i went to california at least none of them really came a lot of of them stayed in Arizona or they moved back. I just saw them when I was back in KC. And then I became friends with Travis through something organically. We were going to work together, but it just so happened that it was KC. It was just

kind of a coincidence that he plays for Kansas City, some of my closest best friends. You know what I mean? It was just this weird, it was just like pure luck. And then, you know, meeting Pat and him through that crew. They're good dudes, man. You got a great football team too. Jealous. Yeah, they're going to be good for a while. It's going to be fun. They are going to be good for a fucking long time.

Yeah. That's so annoying. It's annoying to me. Not at all for me. Yeah, it's good for you. We grew up with being very cursed. Not that bad. We had some field goal cursed years for a class.

Sure, but I mean, you know, also the Royals have always had an up and down, up and down. They've mainly been down. You got a World Series under your belt, don't you? Well, we've got a couple now. But the last one was 85 before. So what? I mean. Who the fuck are you talking to?

I'm a Cubs fan, dude. Yeah, copy this, copy that. Excuse me? Yeah. Excuse me? Yeah, I said it. Excuse me? Yeah, copy that, my cub me? What does that mean?

What does that even mean? Wrigley. George Brett's a piece of shit. You take that back. George Brett sexually assaulted my little brother. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, he did. Sammy Sosa?

He also assaulted my little brother. Okay. Good. When Sammy said baseball had been betty, betty good to me, baseball is my little brother. Okay. Good. When Sammy said, baseball been very, very good to me, baseball is my little brother's nickname. No. Yeah.

He's like, baseball been very, very good to me. It was threatening our family. Wait, was your brother Sammy's pinch hitter? You know what I'm saying? He always let him play with his ball bag, I'll tell you that. He got in his dugout?

Oh, yeah. Yeah? It was a home run every time three two full count baseball talk someone at home is like i get none of these jokes and that's okay yeah you're not gonna get all of them audience you're gonna get 76 to 79 percent of them and you can know you can do that tallying right now if you feel like it. What did you get? Imagine a kid at home did...

Comment below. He's like 86%, 87% actually. It's pretty fucking close. I do want to... Pick a bone. Bone a pick. Let's do it. I do want your kid.

So, I don't know what we're going to do to get this done, but I do have to have the kid. I know we did a bit on the show, but since you haven't paid, you haven't paid me in a while. Can you, like, maybe take him on, like, I know we're both on the road, so obviously weekends is not ideal for you.

No, I'd love to have him on the weekends. You'd love to have him on the weekends? He fits in a bag, right? In a luggage bag. You got to check him. No, no, no. I'll put him under my seat. Yeah?

Like a laptop? First class, baby. Yeah, he'll sneak under there. Like my dog. There's more room up there, isn't there? My dog and him. Okay. Have you flown first class before?

Only on accident. What do you mean? They upgraded you yeah yeah i mean i've there's been a handful of flights that uh i want to say one time you the best treatment i've ever had by the way hbo crashing when we did crashing they did first class first round trip to new york yeah that was a that's a great first class trip was it the lay downs where they go all the way down or no? Yeah. The lay flats, I mean. Yeah, it was awesome.

That's hot, isn't it? Yeah. So I've only, yeah, only a couple of times first class. That's pretty fancy. But every once in a while I'll get those free upgrades just because I'm flying all the time now where I'll get like, you know, that extended or I'll get that exit. And then I'm like, oh, exit for me. That's all I want. For me, that was it for a long time.

I would beg for exit. Oh, I love them. When we have, if you got long, that was it for a long time. I would beg for exit. Oh, I love them. When we have a few got long legs, man. I love exit. It's a nightmare. Yeah. Sitting in regular seats stinks. It's so hard over the years.

You just get, you're like in pain for half of the flight. And then you stand up a lot. You stand up a lot. No, I burrow and then I sleep the whole time. You're able to do that? Yeah. But then my back is sometimes messed up later because I wake up and I'm like, What was that?

That's how you wake up? Yeah. Real stiff-like, you know what I mean? Because it's like praying mantis legs inside of a... It's so uncomfortable. Yeah. And you, Mo? I mean, that's what I consider the job part.

That is the job. Getting to rip and do stand-up. That's the fun part. Yeah, the job the job part getting to rip and do stand up that's the fun part the job is traveling getting to the hotels you get there and they're like your room's not ready how often does that actually happen to you though? shit happens for some reason on the road the road is always so discombobulated

but how do you approach the concierge? I go what's up bitch where's my fucking room and they're like your room's not ready sir i'm like god damn it if you go in with a gentle tone approach me i'm the concierge or i'm the i'm the bell that bell person okay whatever i work at the front desk right hi uh welcome to the red roof in how can i help you hey uh i was hoping to uh you know i mean the red roof in how can i help you hey uh i was hoping to um you know i mean check in uh uh right now if that's if that's possible oh you know what it's only 2 12 right now and we usually don't uh

have check-in until 4 in the pm but if we can hold your bags uh you can tour around uh beautiful pittsburgh and we'll hold your bags until you uh would you mind checking if there's any rooms possible open? That'd be great if... I just told you that they're not ready till four. Yeah, I was hoping you could maybe make an exception. This is the latest flight I could get before check-in

time, and I'm about to have to go to work pretty soon. What's your last name? Watkins. Watkins. Yeah. Oh, I see you right here. Reservation canceled. Goodbye, Jeremiah. Have a good day. Oh, I see you right here. Reservation canceled. Goodbye, Jeremiah. Have a good day. Can you still hold my bags for me? Perfect.

Exactly. By the way, yeah, we'd love to hold your bags. Okay, great. Now get out. Okay, thank you. Now get out. All right, I'm leaving. Get out! What are you drinking? I'm drinking. You're drinking on the job? Drinking on the job.

Okay, fine. Can I have this? Yeah, what is that? It's a rabbit hole. Better believe it. What's going on with that water, bud? I don't want you to lose your mind there. You guys were trying to feed me Red Bull when I did your show, and I can't have Red Bull.

Why not? Bad for my ticker. Do you have a bad heart? That's a deep question. No, I have a murmur. What was that? I have a hole in my heart. I have a murmur.

I have a murmur. I have a murmur. Blood flows irregularly, I think, through a hole, I think is what it is so touring upsets it touring? touring

touring oh touring touring sorry not touring the country touring I think one of the active ingredients of Red Bull

it upsets it every time I've ever had it I feel like shit and I'll get palpitations did you get even a little bit after you drank it on scissor bros?

no it was such a small amount yeah it was a small amount. Yeah. No, but if I drank a full can, yeah, which is weird because I could drink coffee. No problem.

I have like three cups of coffee a day. Energy drinks are just different. I think they're so bad for you. And I love them. This episode is sponsored by what energy drink? We're sponsored by Red Bull. Thick nuts. Scissor bros.

Are you sponsored by Red Bull? Product sponsor. Did they send you a little fridge, a Red Bull fridge? No, they sayissor Bros. Are you sponsored by Red Bull? Product sponsor. Did they send you a little fridge, a Red Bull fridge? No, they say they don't have any in right now, but they sent us

some cases of Red Bull. They don't have any in? That they're willing to give us right now. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah. Red Bull, get your shit together

and give these guys a fucking fridge. Don't make me come down there. You know, I shouldn't shit talk on rebel but you know they did steal that it's a stolen you should look at they should look it up they stole red bull red bull stole red bull the guy who introduced red bull to the to western europe took it it's a i think it's from thailand you should look it up okay maybe i will you used to

have bull sperm in it that's what i heard it was real yeah it's like coke used to have coke in it we don't we don't talk about that stuff it's like epstein's island we know it's real but we don't want to talk about it yeah i uh you don't believe in epstein's island i know you've told me that he's like my santa claus yeah magic man magic man how did he make it with all those women on such a short amount of time around the world? That's your Santa Claus, baby. That's my Santa Claus. And you got to believe. You have to believe in him.

I feel like you believed in Santa Claus for a long time. Too long. Did you? Mm-hmm. What are we talking? How old were you when you realized? 13. Well, here's the thing.

My mom would do this thing for years where she's like, you're not going to get any presents unless you believe in Santa Claus. But you're not an only child. No, I've got an older brother and younger sister. So you still were tricked even with siblings around that had your older brother? We all played into it. We all played into it. But the older brother, did he ruin it for you?

No, I mean, it was one of the- Was he like J-Dog? No, it was people at school that were like, Santa's not real. I'm like, yeah, he is. And they're like, dude, you're a freshman. I were like, they were like, Santa's not real. I'm like, yeah, he is. And they're like, dude, you're a freshman. I'm like, he's real, guys. He's real to me, okay?

When, did your brother ruin stuff for you like that when you were a kid? Like, did he do the sex talk that you had from your brother? No, I didn't get the sex talk. Did your brother ever tell you about girls or anything like that? Or was that not his thing?

No, he had a lot of girlfriend. I would like observe him, like, but we never like talked about it. Like we, we, we talked years later,

like after the fact, like, but yeah, we, I would see him with girls, but I didn't know that he was having sex with them. How old were you? How was the age difference?

He's three years older. So that's your freshman. He's a senior. Yeah. Cool older brother. Yeah. You walk into high school. He had a lot of girlfriends. I didn't you're a freshman, he's a senior, cool little brother. Yeah. You walk into high school. So he had a lot of girlfriends.

I didn't know he was having sex with them, but he was, yeah. How, was he like, kind of like a, He always had an easy time with girls.

And you didn't? No. Like, when did you get a girlfriend? I, well, it wasn't that I had a bad time.

It's like, I was so, like, blinders on always that I, it just wasn't just wasn't like a thing where I was like, I got to get a girlfriend. What do you mean blinders on? With, I've always had blinders. You're really religious?

No, not blinders with religion, blinders with whatever my passion was at the time. If I had blinders on, like when I was playing sports, I was a thousand percent into sports. When I started doing like filmmaking and broadcasting and editing and all that stuff, blinders on with that. And then when I moved to LA, I was blinders on with improv, but I met my wife doing improv and that's kind of a weird loophole that happened. So your blinders led you to the place that you needed to be? Yeah. So you heard that here happened. So your blinders led you to the place you needed to be.

Yeah. So you heard that here, kids. Put blinders on. You don't need to focus on anything except the things that you love and the thing that you need will come along with it. Yeah. We'll be right back.

All right. We're not going anywhere. Okay, perfect. When you think about that, that's probably the truth. You hear that phrase a lot when you're a kid. I always hate it when someone's like, don't focus on the money and you're like shut the fuck up I can't pay rent this month

I always hated to hear that stuff when someone says that but there's a level of truth to it for sure but it's hard to see that truth when you're working multiple jobs you're strung out and you can't rub two nickels together the amount of times I've heard

enjoy the process or you know that that whole thing yes you're supposed to we're all supposed to it's a very hard thing to do while you're in it really struggling where you're like i don't know if i'm going to be able to pay my bills this process is killing me right now yeah but i mean if you if you stay like i don't know. I think if you really are legit about it and stay true to yourself and do that, it will eventually happen.

I think it happens. Obviously, for everybody, it has their own path and their track, but... What about Jonathan Brandes? Keep bringing that guy up, huh? Should have never brought up the freaking Ladybug guy.

That was you, dude. That was all me. It was you. You're a Ladybug guy. Yeah, Ladybug? Should have never brought up the freaking Ladybug. That was you, dude. That was all me. It was you. You're a Ladybug guy. Yeah, Ladybug guy. And then I brought up Paul Walker for no reason. Two for two on the bad news bears over there. Yeah, too fast. Sorry.

I'm taking a moment of silence for Paul Walker. That was the first celebrity that died that I was bummed, actually bummed about when people were making jokes on Twitter. Yeah, that was crazy. I was like, oh, man. Dude, because I liked him. Me too. You know what?

He was family. He was family. He was family. Get over here. Somebody recently told me that Vin Diesel was not so nice. And I was like, really? Really, Vin? Vinny D.

Vinny D, not a nice guy? You're talking about Vinny D. You're talking about Chronicles of Riddick here, not being nice? Talking about Vinny. Come on. He seems like he'd be all right. He had everything in the world just given to him for sure. He was a nightclub guy.

He was a bouncer at a nightclub. Was he? Yeah. Fuck. Yep, that's what I heard. Those should have been my blinders. I should have been a bouncer at a nightclub. Just put all your effort into that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. what I heard. Those should have been my blinders. I should have been a bouncer at a nightclub. Just put all your effort into that.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're full. Yeah. You need to check your list again. Check your little list. What's your name? Douchebag? Oh!

The other bouncers love it. The girls think it's funny. You're embarrassed. Go ahead. Yo, I look for douchebag And it's not on here Listen man Let me see

I'll give you a little something Was this a 20? Yeah Get the fuck out of here Oh You put You ate your own money This guy man

You're good You're good I'll let you in Yeah Just you, though. What about the six women I'm with? They're all gross. What?

These are my sisters. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You better watch your mouth. They're all hags. That one's a four. That one's a two. I guess if you add them up You might get a nine Oh

You know what I like your style What are you doing later Fucking one of your sisters Bring it back You don't like it Yeah Can I watch You got it Back to the cuck stuff dude i know i'd like you go back to the cuck stuff that's what i

that's what i did how much fun is it working with steve for real do you love it i love it yeah he's because he's a nightmare but in a good way yeah we're a good balance for each other yeah you are yeah yeah you're like the gay me and bobby is that what it is that's what the fans say is that what they say they go these guys are like the gay bad friends i don't know if they say that that's what all the fans say i don't know they say that steve is the younger one yeah is he young oh yeah he young. How old is he? 26. Get out there. He looks good for 26.

Dude, you know what? I just said that like Sebastian. Get out there. Get out there. I saw a girl today wearing a Sebastian Maniscalco merch, and I didn't think he had merch. I literally was just about to say the exact same thing, and I don't know why I would think that he didn't when he's one of the biggest comics.

Because he seems like he's like, I don't need to do that merch thing. I don't do the merch. Okay. Shh, it's embarrassing. Aren't you embarrassing selling shirts? Why would you put your face

on a t-shirt? But his was, it was like a, an ombre shirt or a sweater and it said, Sebastian Maniscalco and really nice print and then whatever the tour was why would you do that tour or whatever but that's it nothing on the back and

then it's always questions with him why would you do that aren't you embarrassed who's the father are these eggs bad what's going on here can you tie my shoes is that me in the mirror I'm talking to the man in the mirror what what that's his next special what what he has five specials

what where why when who and then but who who never comes out yeah

that's cold as ice it's just a picture of him me no it says me it's just me what where why when me oh Sebastian do it That's cold as ice. It's just a picture of him. Me. No, it says me. It says me. What, where, why, when, me. Oh, Sebastian. Do it.

It's a box set. Can you imagine him eating cereal, listening to this podcast? Never. But he's like, I should do that. Wait a second. That's a great idea. These gingers have something I think I like. You categorize yourself as one of us?

No, but people have been categorizing me as it's been driving me crazy. Who? You're not a redhead at all. Your hair is fucking brown. Dude, thank you. If anything, you've got somewhat of a blonde in there somewhere. I used to be very blonde. It's gotten darker as I've gotten a little older.

Yeah, it's brown. Yeah. No, it's brown. You're not a redhead. You're not one of us. Amen. You got light eyebrows hair, light facial hair,, it's brown. Yeah. No, it's brown. You're not a redhead. You're not one of us. Amen. You got light eyes, light eyebrow hair, light facial hair. Yeah.

But it's blonde, if anything. Yeah, it's blonde. Yeah, we don't want you. Okay. Look at your arm hair. That's a telltale sign. That's blonde. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness. Wow. Thank you. Ginger. Oh, snap. God, it's just... Do you still burn easily? You know, living in the sun for this many years...

Because you golf a lot. Yeah, but I put on... I should have stock and sun bum. But, you know, I haven't lived in Midwest winter weather for 19 years. I still crack and bleed in the winter. Well, my knuckles crack because they get dry when I play sports all winter. Like if I play golf and basketball.

So they do. Yeah, I do, but I have to put on extra lotion. You lotion your whole body when you get out of the shower? No, I should. You should. See, so should I. Yeah. The old lady says that.

She's like, you got it. And I just don't do it. We're going to have bad skin when we're older. But for now, you're fine. Look at your face. It looks great. Yeah. But the wrinkles will catch up.

I know. Smile. Let me see you smile. You don't have a lot of wrinkles on your forehead. Now you do. Yeah, I know. What about no crow's feet though? Not yet.

I got them a little bit. You know, I actually don't give a shit. I saw a girl at breakfast the other day. And her boyfriend or whatever made her laugh she's like stop it stop it and she had just gotten fillers and stuff done and she was saying it she they were kind of both laughing she's like stop because you can't i don't want to um i don't want to fuck it up but you know what it's fine you do whatever you want to do but i think getting older in the face is okay. I don't know.

I always think that women end up looking very strange after they get work done. If you get too much, it does look weird. A little bit is usually unnoticeable. When women that you don't know, like they're like older celebrities. Yeah. They had good light work done.

Yeah. And then you never know. And you're like, Oh, she just looks great. And you're like, well, you fucking,

she definitely had something done. She's 68 years old. She has no wrinkles. But it is interesting when they go down that path, when you're like, oh, she just looks great. And you're like, well, she definitely had something done. She's 68 years old. She has no wrinkles. But it is interesting when they go down that path, when you're like, oh, no, they went astray. You can tell right away when it's like... People got bummed when Renee Zellweger, when she got plastic surgery.

It just didn't look like her, and her face is so distinct. If you don't really have a distinct face, I think you can get away with it. She looks like a different person than the different Bridget Jones. I walked in on my wife watching a bridget jones like one of the second or third ones or whatever yeah and i was like is that her is that the same it's completely different i know so this is our plea renee zell wedger wedger her name is as odd as her look was too she just looked so like

she kind of looked like she she looked like someone who did have work done but didn't get it yeah not yet and then she got the work done you're like oh that's what it looks like it looked like they prepped her to get work done it never happened like you know they started construction but they know you know but people were late on the payment so they just like that she's still like on the preheat of the oven? Yeah. Oh my God. I don't know what that is with my dog

when we preheat the oven. I think everything low to the ground that ticks, she doesn't like. She was a bomb rescue dog in her previous life. So any kind of ticking, anything like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, like rhythmic like that, like the oven when it's heating up,

it does that and she fucking freaks out she not like hip hop she doesn't like black people we took her to the she's black relax we took her to the vet today

and they clipped her fucking nails and boy do I want to call out the vet they fucking cut her made her bleed yeah dude yeah I was like what they did that to my wiener dog in Kansas

where they draw blood and you're like, what are you doing? But also, we've clipped her nails before at the house, and we've never done that. You have to go really low. I know. I was pissed. All it is is them going too fast.

Yeah, they don't give a shit. Yeah, they're not caring about their dog. But I was bummed out, dude, because she was bleeding, and she could tell she was in pain. Well, they were in pain for a while afterwards. Yeah, she was in pain. You could tell. And she was licking it a lot, and then I gave her a bath uh so it would like soothe her paw you know and dude she could i could still tell so it made me mad so then we called and we were like hey you fucking made her

bleed it was a lot like it was a lot yeah and then oh um do you think she needs stitches you bring her back immediately we're so sorry to leave her in that condition blah blah blah but i was like, isn't this the place of all places where they have to have like the utmost care? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Of all the fucking places. Isn't that the spot where they're like the most overt, careful with animals? I think, but I had a lot of turtles, you know. Turtles aren't real.

Okay. Describe the ninja turtles then. Those weren't turtles Yeah they were They were ninja turtles There's a different breed Yeah yeah yeah They grew from ooze Into the ninja turtles

Dog Ninja turtle is a different breed of turtle It's not the same thing It's the same as a turtle No it's not Yeah it is No it is not Is a goldfish the same as a fish?

Yeah No it's gold I think your logic is slightly skewed here friend you questioning my logic on my own show yeah i am you're fucking pushing it buddy i think you and i are probably we are kindred spirits because you and i are the only ones who work with the lee brothers that's true true. In a very, very intimate close way. Yeah. Drives me nuts. Yeah?

Yeah. Okay, what's a thing that drives you nuts and then I'll give you a thing that drives me nuts. Well, not anymore, to be honest with you. But Bobby used to be late every fucking time we podcasted.

That's a hard one. Every time without fail. So then we would tell him the wrong time then Fancy got smart and he would he'd be like I'm at

Sabotage and you know we knew he'd come at 8 and we'd start at 8. Yeah. We used to do super late night shoots. When we first started the show

we would do super late. Sometimes we'd be like 11 or midnight. That's how we started off with Scissor Bros. Same thing? Because Steve's sleep schedule is a real thing well that was bobby's too yeah bobby should sleep until four or five so we couldn't record before then yeah so okay that's my gripe was he used to be late not anymore which i love him he's on time now what's yours

i love you steve if you're watching he's not he's probably not. He does this thing where I'll tell him something. I'll be like, hey man, we need to record tomorrow at two o'clock because I have to go out of town earlier this week for a standup weekend. Sure. And he goes, well, you didn't tell me that. I go, I'm telling you right now

I think you did this on the show right now something happened he literally did it on the show with you as well he does this though almost every single week he goes you didn't tell me that

I go Steve I'm telling you right now when would he prefer you tell him do you think you think he wants to know via email in advance oh no no no, no. Our communication has to be really good or we start

butting heads a little bit. Would you argue? Just more like I think he doesn't want to be left out of the loop. I feel like he's not being told everything. You know what I mean? You can't tell him everything. Because if you tell him everything, the world is too big for him he's like kimmy schmidt a little bit you think so a little bit i don't know i think he i think he would prefer to know

i think he would prefer to just know and then be like okay thank you for telling me that and he'll go oh oh oh oh okay yeah that no that's cool man i like that yeah and then the other thing about uh the booger is um he he he projects like crazy like he'll say something as if it's me that does it when it's in actuality it's When it's in actuality, it's exclusively him. We did this episode about having a God complex. And he was like, you have it. I'm like, nobody on earth has as much of a complex as he does. As you, yeah, yeah. It's unreal.

The way he bosses them around. And it's endearing for the fans. They think it's cute. But I know the reality. Yeah. That he really does get upset and bosses people around. But it's like he does in a loving way so no one ever gets mad at him but if i did it he'd be like fucking santino's an asshole right right oh my god yeah yeah people get so angry there's like um with tripod sometimes like you know we're setting up shoots and stuff like

this and i'll ask him like hey we break down the tripod and he doesn't do this anymore because we this would be something that would i'm like i can't i can't do it like he doesn't do this anymore because we this would be something that would i'm like i can't i can't do it like you got to do this on your own you start taking down the tripod and then he kept looking over and go like this i'm like steve it's a tripod you got this brother and he goes okay two seconds later like this which is him saying will you do it right yeah that's him going and i'm like please and then like we're good we're good on it now but like like and and i would say like when when we got past i'm like see you're tearing down tripods now it's like all right dude all right that is but you do gotta you talk to him like a kid a little bit because maybe

he likes it a little bit what you think he likes being talked to like a kid a little bit really yeah when you're like come on buddy and he's like man in my head i feel like he's um I feel like he's, um, yeah, like you have to think about it. Yeah.

It's hard to explain with Steve. He's like, um, he's a little enigma. I don't know what it is. It's like, uh, he is, I can undoubtedly say he's one of the coolest,

most unique people I've met in my entire life. Yeah. Especially like of like working closely. I've met in my entire life. Yeah. Especially of working closely. I've never worked with anybody like Steve before. And you never will. This will be the last time. He's a unicorn. I'm shutting down the show.

Today on Whiskey Ginger, this will be the final episode this week of Scissor Bros. It will no longer exist as we are taking over, and we're shutting it down permanently. Are we calling it good friends now oh you're gonna call it no friends because it's gonna be over my friend no friends it's gonna be you in one room by yourself and steven another room by himself and you'll just be doing and you'll be simultaneously broadcasting but neither of you will know what the other one is talking about actually a great show idea to see if you could communicate. What a nightmare for editing.

But to see if you could communicate a show without seeing what each other is doing. Like you time it, you do an hour, he does an hour in a room and see if you could cut it together. Oh, wow. That would be hard. Well, we did one time because we lost, the camera went out without us noticing. We did a recreation where we had the audio still, but then what we did was we filmed Steve at his apartment, and I sent him the audio, and he did a bad dub

while I was on the other side of the screen, and he was at his apartment. That's pretty cool. It was fun. Did it look good? He was good. He was really good. I gave him a note on like, I'm like,

just wait a second on this one. Just a little bit. And then he freaking nailed it. How long did the camera go out for? It was at least five minutes. It was a long, it was a long thing. I've had multiple of the cameras go out or the zoom back in the day would fail.

Yeah. And then someone would be like, oh, guess you don't want to put out our episode. And I'm like, no, I'm embarrassed because the fucking card failed. And I used to shoot it on one camera. The Zoom would fuck up.

That happened all the time. I've only had to do one call ever where I lost everything. And that was, I felt the worst. It's happened to me three times, two or three times. And it was a bummer because you're like, well, they're not going to believe me.

I know. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? The camera failed? And you're like, I definitely hit it. Do you know what I mean? But you're like, I don't.

That's how I find out about tonight. We leave, I look. Well, tonight did not happen. None of this stuff. Nothing recorded, yeah. It's just for me because I wanted to rip you away from your family late at night. I was like, how could I get this guy away

from his young child? Yeah, of course. and i feel like that's totally fine we're getting food after this right yes we are huh that doesn't seem very like steadfast or very assured of course we're getting food jeremiah or there's Sure. Yeah. Of course we will. Yeah, we're going to grab some food. Yeah. What would you like? Is there any Thai food places open? At midnight?

Any Mexican food places around here? There is, yeah. There's a truck at the gas station. You ever had that? No. You ever had gas station Mexican food? Only in different cities, not in LA. Oh, the best.

Come on, man. Well, you're in the valley now, papa. This is... Okay, papacita. The valley is where it happens. A la valle. This is the late night food truck. Not shady spots.

Yeah, some of the spots are shady that I know. But if you're cool, they're cool, man. Are you cool? It's love or not. No, you're cool, they're cool, man. Are you cool? Es la verdad. No, don't. This is white power. No, I think. Oh, my God. We're never going to get tacos. Es la verdad. Wait, what? Es la verdad.

Es la verdad? Don't do this. Es la verdad. Oh, my God. Bien? Nada. No? Nada. ¿Hablas español? ¿Sí o no? Sí. ¿Un poquito o no? Nada. No? Nada. ¿Hablas español? ¿Sí o no? Sí. ¿Un poquito o no?

Sí. Muy largo español, ¿no? What? Muy largo. Marlago? Muy largo. Are you a Trump guy? Muy largo.

That's what it is, Santino. Okay. Marlago. Marlago's your life, man. I love Mexicans. Marlago. The's what it is, Santino. Mori Lago. Mori Lago's what I play. I love Mexicans. Mori Lago. The Mexicans are very good people. They're very good, okay. Pretty good.

Pretty solid, okay. Pretty good. It's no Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin, yes. Give that guy some more work. Yeah. Are you on tour? Are you moving around on the road?

Yes. It's just yes. Where are you going? I'm going to be at Moon Tower Comedy Festival, and then I'll be back. Are you doing that by yourself? Yeah, we're doing stand-up on the spot taping there, and then I'm just doing a bunch of stand-up shows.

Me and Bob are doing Moon Tower. I think you guys are the week before everybody else is there, though. Oh, cool. You are. You're doing like a Friday night in the theater before everybody gets there. Oh, cool. I don't know.

They offered it to us. I actually did not want to do it. I was like, I don't think I'm going to be able to do it. Oh, the venue's dope where you're playing. No, I know it. I don't give a shit. I was like,

I don't think I want to do it because I'm exhausted. More about, did you want to see people? No, that I don't give a fuck about at all. Oh to see people no that i don't give a fuck about at all okay yeah i don't give a fuck about comics can kiss my ass they all suck i love the hang man i did you know what last time i went to montreal i i had it was such a mediocre time that i was like man this is not what it used to be yeah no one was hanging out it just wasn't what it used

to be but moon tower would be cool to see people but i just we are we're i'm moving around so much on the road tower is a good hang that i got to get in and got to get out anyway i'm going to dallas the next night so it's like gotcha it's just too hard to hang anymore you know i mean i it montreal if it does come back in full swing would be nice to go back up to to canada and go see people for a few days because i did used to i used to love seeing that running into people I never see anymore. Oh, dude, I just saw Norman on the road. We were both playing.

Hey, Watkins. I'm gay. Hey, Santino. Good to see you. I'm gay, Jeremiah. I'm Kevin Hart. Gweave. Comedy. Comedy. What are you going to do?

He's, uh... I love black guys. I don't know. Yeah, he does actually that's the weirdest part he says that you're like i know he was at the funny bone i was at go bananas and he uh drove over with his host and we just hung uh like on saturday night moments i really love when it was legit it was it was cool because i hadn't got to do that i hadn't seen him a for a long time but i hadn't gotten to hang with another comic friend on the road in a long time just because of covid and everything and uh it was awesome it was just great to hang and bs you know no it is nice to see it's nice to run into to

cross over on people like we did i played a small theater emmy blotnick played madison comedy on state and um why am i drawn such a huge fucking blank brian regan played the theater and we all kind of met up there oh it's awesome yeah it was so wild yeah she's a killer by the way emmy emmy blotnick do you know her yeah she was in my jfl year i believe let me tell you something dude she she killer writer she's a great comic man i watched her set and i was fucking she's really solid it was really good it was just like nice to see someone

that you don't really see that much you know what I mean yeah she was really shy about it too she's like oh thanks I was like no you

fucking oh yeah she's murder she's smashed yeah but go see Jeremiah if you are out on the road and you are wandering around looking for something to do

and you want to get rid of your family yeah kill them and go to his show New York City in May I'll be there May 16th. What are you playing? Tuesday, May 17th,

we're going to do a Stand Up On The Spot taping at New York Comedy Club. New York Comedy Club, NYCC. We just actually dropped a Stand Up On The Spot special that's out now for free on my YouTube. Go to Jeremiah's YouTube. Go watch Scissor Bros.

Go enjoy all of these things. Scissor Bros album, April 1st. Oh, yeah, the Scissor Bros album is coming out. these things scissor bros album april 1st is coming out yeah thanks for coming on the show jeremiah thanks so much for having me go see this guy he's a very funny guy i'm on tour go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets go to jeremiahwatkins.com for his tickets and for all things jeremiah uh we end the show the same way thank you for coming this was very nice we end the show the same way one word you for coming. This was very nice. We end the show the same way. One word or one phrase. You look into that camera, your camera,

and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. It'll be cemented in history. So when you're ready, go ahead. Pedantic. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.