Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Will Sasso

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

Santino sits down with Will Sasso to chat about his new podcast Dudesy and the reality of A.I. dictating his entire life, his worst role ever, how you should break your leg in Canada and megaphone head Boston dynamic dogs that give you fish paste dinners in our dystopian future. COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RHOBACK Get the most comfy clothes that you can wear on and off the course https://rhoback.com USE CODE GINGER for 20% OFF EVERYTHING!!! PELOTON Get the ultimate workout not just on the Peloton Bike! So much more to discover at https://onepeloton.com BESPOKE POST Go to https://boxofawesome.com PROMO Code WHISKEY BETTER HELP Get professional counseling done securely online 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Man, do we have a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey done say, it's Will Sasso. Love this dude. So incredibly funny, so incredibly talented. Has been in your hearts and your homes for many, many years now. I first saw him on the Mad TV and good golly was I impressed by this guy's ability to transform. He is so, so funny. Right now, this weekend, hey, me and Bobby Lee being Austin, Texas, dude. Tonight, we're in Austin, Texas at Moon Tower. Then tomorrow night, I'm going to be in Dallas.

Come on out, Dallas, and see your boy, Austin and Dallas this weekend. Texas, show some love. And then I'm going to be going to Vancouver, Lake Tahoe, Montclair new jersey and uh also to uh also to uh you know niagara falls niagara falls new york oh i forgot oh my god we added los angeles california you want to see me come run my hour la i'm part of the netflix is a joke festival may 7th we just added that May 7th, L.A.

Come out and see your boy downtown in the Palace Theater. Andrew Santino dot com for the tickets. Andrew Santino dot com is the only place to get tickets. Do that. Enough rambling. I got to be quiet. Let's go to the episode in here. We pull a whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's the incomparable,

the calf-havin', yeezy, look-alike shoe-wearin', beautiful, statuesque, uh, Will Sasso. I was gonna add another thing, but that's all I've got. That's all I have. That's the only ways to describe me. Hello. The first thing I said to you in the parking lot was how nice your calves are

oh cheers i mean honestly dude you have the sexiest legs i think i've seen on a on a man in a long time they're yeah they're they're genetic my old man had them you got to keep it moving though you got to you got to really tone them you know what i'm saying what are we talking you're doing the leg the thing at the gym with uh no it's more like get get out there in the uh in the freezing tundra a la rocky four log on your back deep lunges but i just yeah i do it over here in griffith park but i still but i wear the big the bomber jacket with the wool collar like uh rambo are you a ramp are you a rambo aficionado? Have you studied all his? Yes.

I'm coming up with a book called The Rambo Workout. Oh, The Rambo Workout. Yeah. Most of it is just sort of tying a tarp around yourself and attacking people in the forest. That works too. Yeah. That's fine.

It's a good workout. What are these shoes, by the way? I don't fucking know. You know what I did? I bought them on Instagram. I've been doing this thing. Have you been doing the thing where you just buy everything on instagram is this another buy from instagram because this definitely looks like it this i had to source out this i just want the biggest water bottle because i love water it's a big part of the book you'll see do a big chug there there we are yeah oh yeah your boy loves drinking water if there's one thing you know about sasso

he's a big water guy i love water it's always been my favorite beverage which is a good thing no booze for you no i stopped drinking uh well i've never been much of a booze guy you know i i did some i did some uh i did all my drinking in my like 20s and early 30s you get you know you go and get fucked up with the guys. And then, actually, I was just talking about this recently. Do you find that, I've got some years on you, but do you remember when, okay, the iPhones coming in, whatever that was, 2007, 2008. Yeah, 2008 maybe. And I would have been 31, 32, 33.

And then I'm like, oh, I'm, that's it. I'm not, because before that, the only video phones were, like, someone had, like, 32, 33. And then I'm like, Oh, I'm that's it. I'm not. Cause before that, the only video phones were like, someone had like a fancy Palm pilot, right? That guy's not going into a bar anyway to capture what a piece of shit you're doing now.

Now everyone's got it. So I was like, you know what? Perfect timing. So a couple of iPhones in a bar hanging out, you know, with your friends, just rabble rousing as we used to do.

You rabble roused a lot yeah back before the iphone in the 60s and 70s were you rambling or rousing more i'm well i'm a rambling man but once you get you got to ramble right now and everyone knows that my friends are coming we're all going into the bar now now now and our bomber jackets that That was like the goat horn. That was that. Yeah, you sound that as you get onto the cool street with all the bars in your hometown. All the boys with the fellas.

And your shoulders shrugging a lot. And your shoulder walk in, and it turns into Love is a Battlefield. Love is a Battlefield. Tell me, there's a gentleman that you had on your Instagram, and I love his look so much. He's got crazy curly hair and a big gap between his teeth. Yeah.

What's his name? Well, on Instagram, his name is Mo Cheeks, at Mo Cheeks, if you're looking to follow people on the internet. His real name is Chris Kazarian. He's an old pal. He used to be a script, like a scripty script coordinator on Mad TV. Really? That's who that was? He's not a comic himself?

Well, I mean, he's a hilarious guy and he does a bunch of shit, but primarily he's a writer. He writes for a newspaper and he does a bunch of stuff like that. And then in his off time, he, you know, acts like a goof and then, you know, does things on his Instagram. acts like a goof and then does things on his Instagram. One thing he just did recently that he's into is he's one of those guys who will go to a sporting event and wear a Superman

costume and kind of creep everybody out and dance in the aisle. To record it or just for himself? I don't know. He's just a free bird. He's just a free bird, yeah. He's in the group. He's in the rabble rousers. Because you guys put up a video where you were going, take a chance on me, take a chance on me.

And you would just move the phone around, and everyone started going, take a chance on me. Yeah. But his was particularly beautiful because he really got into it. And he wouldn't stop doing, excuse me. Anytime I put the camera on Chris, he just won't stop doing whatever we're doing. Yeah, he's great.

He lives in Massachusetts. I wish he lived here. Well, let's get him out of here. Click on the fund right here. It's Get Chris Back to LA. We've already raised $750,000. We're looking to get to a million to get him back out here. Yeah, because he wants a big house.

He wants a home. If he's going to come back, he can't live in an apartment anymore. Yeah, he wants to be in the hills, which is shitty, but whatever. But I mean, if the guy wants it, wants it you're you're well you're from by the way you're i'm going to vancouver and you're a bc guy yes but you're not you're not from vancouver are you i don't know i'm from uh the suburbs of vancouver okay a small town called ladner about

25 minutes up just down the down the freeway canadian ladner ladner yeah it does it's just down the freeway. It even sounds Canadian. Ladner. Ladner. Yeah, it does. It's almost like there's words, there's Canadian words that, or names of places or towns that I can't say it without having a Canadian accent. Ladner. Like Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Yeah, Saskatchewan.

Yeah, Canada, Edmonton, Alberta. Yeah. Alberta. These are all places. You have to say it like that. Yeah, you have to go, Alberta. Alberta. Yeah, Alberta.

Nobody says Alberta. No, nobody said, well, there are some people who enunciate everything as Canadians. They go Alberta. Alberta. That's like, that's the way that I'm sure you know, you know, my old pal Tom Green would say Alberta. Alberta. Yes. Oh, I love that guy so much.

That's one way to do a Canadian accent without getting into the cartoony A and this and that. Right. Just enunciate everything. Say all of it. Yeah. If you feel like when you go to Vancouver and I'm assuming you've been. Yes.

Yeah. So when you return to Vancouver, if you're ever getting any hassles or people are like, we're not going to serve you sockeye salmon because you're American. We saw your Amex card or whatever. They can tell. Yeah.

So just say, why won't you serve me this salmon? And they'll say. Why won't you serve meye salmon because you're American. We saw your Amex card or whatever. They can tell. Yeah. So just say, why won't you serve me this salmon? Why won't you serve me this salmon? And they'll say, well, we're very sorry, Mr. Santino, and they'll bring you a double order of sockeye salmon. But Santino, then they'll know. There's probably no Santinos in Canada. There's zero. This is, pal, you got to go, buddy.

You got to have a French last name or an ambiguous. Sasso's ambiguous. That can be anything. It could be anything. What is Sasso? It's Italian. Sasso. A Sasso ambiguous. Sasso's ambiguous. That could be anything. It could be anything. What is Sasso? It's Italian. Sasso. Sasso.

Sasso. You're a Sasso. Do you know where your family's from in Italy? Yeah. Well, my parents immigrated from Italy. They're from Napoli, Naples. Are you a speaker of the language? Un poco.

Un poco poco. I speak more Napolitan. Oh, you do? The Neapolitan dialect as opposed to... Italian is very... It's its own thing. Italian is like the super enunciating Canadian as far as... They're the Tom Green.

Yeah, they're the Tom Green. And you have more Naples, more slang? Yes, way more slang. It's almost considered a different language. But it's almost considered a different language but uh you know it's like is like italian and then uh is uh everything that sounds like it comes from the side of the mouth yes very soprano-esque oh yes it's. But yours is more like up in the front. This is like a kiss. This is, yes.

Italian is everything a kiss. You could do that if you went to Canada. You go, why you no want to give me the salmon? I am a Canadian. I come here from Italy, but now I'm a Canadian. See, I think that would work. The Canadian-Italian. Our new show on amc guys

thursday nights the canadian italians please watch we just put it out yeah it's gonna be good it's got a star-studded cast zero murder zero like nothing bad happens it's not it's it's just food it's like six hours of food yeah what we filmed with the first season yeah it's the first it's sort of like it's like the opposite of the sopranos it's like you know when it's like oh so what no fucking baked ziti now it's like that but they have baked z we always have it and and with all it is is us eating yes we we split the six hours of us just sort of serving each other up would you like some more zucchini and stuff like that and split that up into 10 episodes and i can't believe they bought it AMC was so quick to buy the show.

We shot it without their knowledge. And then we told them we wanted it on AMC. They said, no chance. We showed them the footage. They said, give it to me. Yeah.

Content nowadays. Hey, that's what it's 5,000 fucking streaming channels out there. We got to get them some content. How many are, are you on? How many streaming channels are you on? Uh,

like if across all platforms, if, uh, all of the things that I've appeared in? Yeah. One or two. One or two. Yeah. You keep it pretty centered. Yeah. Well, I'm semi-retired from acting.

Are you really? Yeah, I bought a lumberyard. Liar. Yeah. No, I don't know. Is that partially true? No, that's not true at all. God, I wanted you to buy a lumberyard for fun,

though. There is one up in Chatsworth that I saw the other day. Really? Good-looking wood. Good-looking wood. Lots of different kinds of wood. I passed it, and I said, the way they've stacked it, the way they've Lincoln-logged it, it looked beautiful. And I thought, what if I got into wood in Chatsworth?

Who would say anything? Would anybody care? Would anybody miss me? Probably not. People would miss you, but- The business wouldn't. Fuck it. Oh, come on now. The biz would go, take care, pal.

Well, the business says take, I'm sorry. The business says take care, pal, to everybody. Oh, they do. Yeah. You're in the throes of it though. Let's be honest. You've been working for 30 years something like that yeah a little over yeah yeah that's pretty cool man i'm extremely fortunate

i can't believe that no i can you're very talented that's bullshit don't say that but i know what you're trying to say but i don't buy into that you work because you're good but you got to tell me of all the titles that you've done because because you've worked too much, what's the worst thing you've done? Ooh. The worst thing I've ever, the worst thing I've ever done. I want to give you like a real honest answer here. It can either be embarrassing or like you actually didn't like it. Like the experience was terrible.

Oh, I did a movie once where, this is back in the 90s, and i was um it was before i moved to la it was i was in vancouver it was like 94 95 or something and i was in this movie it was a molly ringwald molly ringwald is in it whom i fucking love and i worked with her about five or six years ago, and she's fantastic. This is no reflection on Ms. Ringwald. But a legend of 80s cinema, by the way, and many of my favorite movies. And she's just as solid now. But she was doing some thriller, and then I don't remember what my part even was. I work with her in some office or wherever the hell she works the reason i don't remember any of it is because uh i showed up uh they sent me to the wrong place i had the

call sheet sent me to the wrong place and when i showed up they were like you're you went to the wrong place and they were all pissed off and then they didn't even put me through wardrobe. I just wore what I was wearing. And then I, I, uh, and then in the scene, I answer the phone and I go,

Hey, it's for you. Literally like, Hey, it's for you. That's it. And then I walk off and then they, then they said, don't come back or something like some producer told me.

Yeah. Something like that. Like they made it sound like, Oh, they rewrote the role or whatever, but they just, they were just pissed at me. And they, I guess they, you like some producer told me. Really? Yeah, something like that. Like they made it sound like, oh, they rewrote the role or whatever. But they just, they were just pissed at me. And they, I guess they, you know, they fired me. And then in the credits it said, fat guy answering phone.

That's so funny. I haven't thought about that in years, but that's, if I was going to throw a fucking production under the bus, I mean, you know, whatever. And it's a, you know, and it's a, and it's a fucking production under the bus i mean you know whatever and it's a you know and it's a and did you laugh when you saw that no i didn't laugh not at the time no but okay you're right guy go and not that i'm not a fat guy now but i was like you know i'm like a 20 year old fat guy going what the fuck you know fuck you that's so funny on their part man is that good yeah i mean that's one of those where usually they're not keen enough to do something like that.

Usually they're just like, just give it to him. It's just say, I don't care. Or just write like, you know, Bill playing himself or whatever. Whatever. That's a shot. Someone in production took the time to type in, fat guy answering phone. Fat guy answering phone. Can you imagine the poor person that was entering?

It was like, is that what we're calling this character? It doesn't say that in the script. Yeah, it doesn't say that anywhere. And in fact- His name is Craig in the script. No, no, no. We changed it to fat guy answering phone. It was easier to say than Craig.

Craig kind of took up too much space. He answers the phone 20 times in the movie. That's what he does. Fat guy answering the phone. And by our new book will and i's new book fat guy answering the phone you're gonna see a lot of it's more pictures than words but we're going to be answering phone it's just pictures of fat guys answering phones answering the phone and it's all sorts it's rotary uh it's the old uh the long long stem antenna

do you remember i remember my mom being on outside on one of those long stem yeah antenna things and i remember thinking wow tech my mom is walking around with a house phone outside i thought i was like that's fucking nuts how cool she could go anywhere in the yard and be on the phone yeah and now um they're watching me when i jerk off now they're staring through my camera watching me jerk off you mean the nsa no my parents no your parents yeah they have a they have a direct feed from my camera phone to their like uh like tv all the tvs in the house play it like a like a baby cam kind of an adult an adult baby cam yeah yeah and they call it andy cam andy cam andy cam

and it's it's rolling right now you can wave to my mom hey yeah but it's fucked up because it's on both sides so you can't get away from it you know when they say that they're watching you through this phone my buddy dan soda has a little lens oh he has a cap to cover it up yeah and i was he's like they're watching i was like who cares but it would be funny to see an image i'm sorry no no yeah no he's got a little uh slide thing that covers up the camera wow he bought off amazon it covers up the camera. Wow. He bought off Amazon. It covers up these and that one. This one for protection, but it covers that up so no one can see.

I don't blame Mr. Soder. Sody knows what he's doing. Yeah. Great guy. Hilarious dude, by the way. What footage would they get? It would be a lot of me staring, and then if they did have me masturbating, it would just be me.

Imagine that video of them with their POV watching me masturbate. It would just be, you'd be in the lower part of the shot. Yeah. And just going. Like this. Yeah. Nobody knows what you're doing. Right.

And they don't know. Maybe I've got the shakes. Yeah. You could be having some sort of physical event. Right. And so what are you going to do with it? And I say, I can't wait till they load up and really tell us what they're doing with all this footage.

It doesn't matter because there's going to be such a glut of videos of everybody jerking off on their phones, fat guys answering the phone, hanging up on the call, everyone will be able to watch everyone else jerk off and they'll also be able to search our, you know, our text histories and all communications to go, what were you doing right before you jerked off? What were you, who were you talking to? Texting my Nana.

Right. Yeah. Hey Nana, what are you going to do now? Oh, nothing. I was just going to, you know,

I was just puttering around the house. Not much to do. oh, nothing, I was just puttering around the house, not much to do. It would be kind of fucked up if you had to tell somebody that you just jerked off. The next time you jerk off, the person that you text right as you're done, you'd have to tell them. It's like a societal rule. Yes.

Right as you text them, someone's like, hey, what's going on? Nothing. You're like, listen, I just jerked off. I got to tell you, I just jerked off yeah and then i have to tell you pretty soon it's not even going to be that big a deal to the degree that you'll be like hey what's up not much just just uh yank my cock or flick my bean or whatever the case may be and uh and then it's like oh yeah cool so uh how about that concert you get tickets and then whatever and if you don't say that to your friend they're gonna you're gonna get off the phone with them all right man i'll see you there you'll get off the phone and then like 10 minutes later you'll get a text how come you didn't tell

me you were you should yeah you should have told me you should have just told me the nsa sent me the video i saw it yeah did you see there was a man that got arrested for jerking off on a southwest flight four times yes four times pretty cool to get away with four. The first three is like, I mean. And did you know that it all happened, you know, the flight, I can't remember where this guy was going, but it's like a two-hour, 30-minute, or like three-hour flight. Crank him.

And he did it all in the first hour. That is a Guinness. Where is Guinness when you need him to set a world record? I imagine how funny it would be if it was LA to Vegas. It was a 37-minute flight, and he was able to just... Like a magician pulling scarves out of a hat. The flame goes up as soon as you

start to feel it crest and go, I got work to do. I gotta start. I gotta start. Ladies and gentlemen, we're starting our descent. Well, I'm starting my fourth round of jerking off in this... Now, was he jerking off in the seat or in the bathroom? I didn't read. In the seat. Congratulations.

Next to a female passenger whom he said that he said to her, is this okay or something? Oh, he asked for permission. I believe that he- It's called the Louie. It's called the Louie. Yeah, he issued her a Louie and, but I, don't quote me, just go ahead and read this story wherever.

Here, stop listening, go read it, come back, and then we'll see. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, a lot of people don't realize that their physical symptoms, like headaches and teeth grinding, even digestive issues are an indicator of stress. Your boy's held onto some extra stress weight, a couple of stress LBSs, and it stinks.

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See if online therapy can help lower your stress levels. I use it, and I do love using online therapy because I can do it from my house, my bathroom, my backyard, wherever I am. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Whiskey Ginger. Listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash whiskey. That's Better, B-E-T-T-E-R, Help, H-E-L-P, BetterHelp.com slash whiskey. Spring has sprung and Bespoke Post has great stuff for you i've talked about bespoke post on this on the box of awesome it's pretty incredible they got the most unique goods they bring to you every

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That code is whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. hey and what he said apparently what he said was was can i do this or something like that which is a complete lie that she said that she was cool with it and then he he uh but he said that her response was something like whatever what can you imagine yeah can i jerk off whatever i mean you might be next to someone who's like you know on a flight for a bad reason or maybe they have some sort of emergency they have to tend to life is the

shits things are going wrong now they're on a flight you know to fucking arizona or wherever and it's like shit couldn't be worse can i can i beat off's like, shit couldn't be worse. Can I, can I beat off next to you? Whatever. Couldn't get worse than that. I'm going to one of my parents' funerals. Right. My wife left me,

my boss fired me, my dog died and I got into a car accident on the way here. Your cock is out. Just do it already. Yeah, just do it. Well, cause she probably thought one time was going to call it quits. He thought,

I'm sure she assumed there's no way this guy's going to jerk off more than once. Yeah, just do it. Well, because she probably thought one time was going to call it quits. He thought, I'm sure she assumed, there's no way this guy's going to jerk off more than once. Yeah. And then he did it twice, and she's like, okay. Yeah. Two times, and that's going to be the end of it? Right. Little does she know, this guy was doubling, doubling down.

He split twice. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was at that point that she decided to, you know, hit the flight attendant call button. I don't want to. And apparently he took a nap because he had worn himself out, and then they sat her somewhere else, I think.

Wow, this dude is so, the nerve of this guy is, was he on drugs, had to have been on drugs. I mean, I don't know. You know they say that you get fueled by like, you know, when they see those videos online of like guys on meth that fight cops and they like, they can take a taser and they like rip it out and keep moving like Terminator.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, that's, jerking off four times feverishly, he's got to be totally fucking aced on something. Yeah, he must have been, I mean, or just really in love with someone and wants to, you know to show that love to himself. It could be the compactness of those Southwest flights. Those planes are very small.

If it was Southwest, then it's her fault. Sorry. Southwest, her spirit. That's why she was like, whatever. This flight cost me $89. That's their slogan. Southwest, you might This flight cost me $89. That's their slogan. Southwest, you might get jerked off. Grow up.

You paid $42 to go to San Francisco. What do you think this is going to be? That's one of the pilots like, we're up here jerking off as well. You're a co-pilot. Steve Barton, he's cranking that yank, baby. We're about to take off as soon as we both come. Actually, there's aing that yank, baby. We're about to take off as soon as we both come. Actually, there's a TikTok that I follow, and they do open hot mics on pilots.

Have you ever seen this? No. Oh, it's awesome, dude. Because you hear them talking shit. Half of the time, it's them complaining about air traffic or other planes or other competitors. And this one dude, he's like, these fucking dipshits at Delta.

He's fucking, where do they find these fucking idiots? And you, and the other pilot just like, you know what? These guys, it's like every time these fucking morons are pulling in the wrong place. And the guy's like,

I know, I know these, they're handicapped. All of them are fucking handicapped. And then you hear the control tower go, hot mic there, flight 472, hot mic.

And then it goes silent for a minute. And then he goes, flight 472, request to then it goes silent for a minute and then he goes flight 472 request to dock and he goes right back to business wants to just pull the plane and pretend like it never happened yeah i love it they catch them apparently this is super common for them to have hot mics because they're they don't give a what do they fucking care anyway you know pilots are among the professionals around us that we require to be uh you know robot like yeah you don't want you don't want them to have personality nope you want them to be a you want them to be of a certain age uh and you want them to be of a certain height so true you know and you want

i mean you know it's you want the guy from, the guy who's like- 100%. That's the guy that you want flying. Like, oh, that motherfucker's been up in the air for whatever thousand hours or whatever the fuck. And yeah, has a haircut you can set your watch to. And it's gray, but not too gray. He's not too close to retirement yet. He's right in the middle. He's very George Clooney-esque. He's very Salt-N-Pep.

Yep. And you want someone also that looks like their big night out is like Applebee's. That's their fucking... You want someone that's like, we're going to go out, but we got to be back by nine. I got to be in bed by 9.30, latest, latest. Yeah. Hey, kids, we're going for the early bird special at Chili's. And yeah, you want a Sully Sullenberger who just eats chicken strips and gets to bed by 7.30 p.m. And nothing else.

His diet is such a child's diet. Like vegetables, he's like, absolutely not. I've just ate chicken strips for the past 55 years. I won't eat anything. Sauce, I don't dip it in anything. Dry chicken strips and a cup of water. No ice, please. My sensitive teeth.

Yeah. That's right. That's the kind of pilot that we're looking for. So if you're out there, please apply to the Sassy Santino Foundation. We're trying to hire pilots for our new airline. Fat guy's jerking off answering phones. That's our airline. We're working on the name.

Yeah. It's not clicking. And it's really hard to put phones. That's our airline. We're working on the name. Yeah. That's not clicking. And it's really hard to put on the side of a plane. But we'll figure it out. Yeah. Have you flown on a private jet, Will Sasso? Just once. One time I flew on a private jet.

And one time I flew on a charter plane. You ever done that? What's the difference? I don't know. A couple times. What is that? Charter plane is where it's like you get the whole plane, but it like a bus in the air and it's like just something kind of cheap uh where it's like it's like a point i don't recommend it at all if it's like you know when

you get on a commercial airliner you know things are the way that you know it's like there's a there's a system you know here's there's mechanics and this and that. When you get on a charter plane, it's like you're in some Kurt Russell movie and it's like, there she is. Well, let's get it over with. And, uh, yeah, I was on a plane once doing some, uh, doing a thing in Canada, like this charity thing. And there were a bunch of hockey players on the flight and, uh, yeah, they were all just, you know, they were up there standing around, you know, slapping each other around being jerks while we were taking off, while we were landing.

No rules. No rules. And the chairs were like, you know, it was like, you know, probably not, but like bus bench seats. It was just, you know, it was like not a whole lot of like, you know, it's not like Virgin Airlines with the purple lighting and all the carpeted walls. It was just like, here's the fucking wall it's make a made a metal and it's got rivets in it what do you want this is an airplane grab a chair there's a folded chair over there just grab one put it down on the ground yeah and your feet should your feet should be able to hold you steady yeah if not there's a roll of duct tape that you could figure it out

figure it out sit down sit down we're taking off what was the private airline for was that like a press thing it was actually we were doing a press thing and someone that I was working with on this movie that we were going to do press for, we flew out there to do this thing commercially. We flew out on a commercial airline. We got there. A lot of things were messed up about it,

about the thing and this and that and the travel. And he just said the night before we left, he's like, I'm getting a private plane. You want to come with? Wow. And I was like, oh, that's very sweet. You don't have to. And he's like, I'm not like, it's got this many seats on it. Yeah, you're either on or I'm going without you.

You're an idiot if you don't come. Yeah, that's cool. But don't like, I'm doing it. So do you want to? Right. I'm going to do it whether or not you come along for the ride. Right. That's such a cool.

How about you? Nah, never done. I've had a few offers and it never worked out because I couldn't go on a trip that these people were going on. But I also am a little Payne Stewart-y scared of private planes. Do you know who that is? Do you know Payne Stewart? Do you know that story? Isn't he a, what is he, a golf guy?

He was a golfer. He was going from Florida, I think, to Texas, and they lost cabin pressure. And instead of going like this, the flight just kept going straight. So all these air traffics were like, what the fuck is going on? What's happening? No response, no response. Finally, they assume it's something has gone awry whether there's been an attack or murder or death or they send out air force planes to fly

next to this thing to see frozen people frozen totally solid and so then they had to like then they had to map out how much fuel it had left uh to find out where it's going to crash because they were like is it going to crash in a dense population do we need to like have warnings because so they did you know these the smart math people did all the math and it crashed i think in the middle of nowhere safely which is sad but also didn't hurt it didn't like crash in a neighborhood right uh but they had to like fly with it the whole time and there's like there's an account of it online from one of the people that was doing the operation, but they said how tragic it was.

My fear is those private planes, as cool as they are, I feel like you always hear bad stories. Leonard Skinner, Otis Redding. Yeah. Like, so many bad stories of planes that go down. I have a practical question. Is this a comedy podcast, right? Not anymore.

No, okay. It was. Yeah, that's horrifying. That'd make a good movie, though. A bunch of fucking frozen corpses just flying on autopilot. Boring movie. But maybe we could pitch that as the Italian food thing. Oh, that's right.

That would be good. Yeah. Come with us. Come fly with us. Come fly with us. Or frozen corpse airlines. No disrespect to. I mean, this's right. That would be good. Yeah. Come with us. Come fly with us. Come fly with us. Or Frozen Corpse Airlines. No disrespect to, I mean, this is terrible. But yeah, that'd be a really good, yeah, just 10 episodes of Frozen.

Come fly with us. This was a comedy podcast. You, by the way, good easy transition. You have a new comedy podcast. I do. Doodsy. Doodsy. No broads allowed.

That's the slogan, right? Hey, it's a guy's only thing. Well, there's a very interesting element to this podcast in that it is driven, run, and programmed by artificial intelligence. And the artificial intelligence itself has adopted the name Doodsy. We do not know why. It's not like a guy-centric. It told you it's going to be called Doodsy. Yeah, we were actually approached.

My good pal, Chad Culchin and I, Chad is a writer. He does TV movies and books. And we've been pals for almost 20 years or something. We used to do some podcasting together and essentially we were sought out. Um, we were sought out by this group, um, that is, you know, representing a few different avenues of AI. And there is a specific AI that wants to, you know, okay, look, here's a good way to put it. Like, I just actually read a story today that was in the New York Times about there's like a new AI that'll illustrate whatever you want.

It'll draw whatever you want. Things that are creative are seeming to be obsolete. My pal Chad will harangue on and on about this, and I'll say, nope, you're wrong. You know, showbiz will continue to exist. We need actors. We need real creatives. You can't just have it.

Do we? Some more than others. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of people just like, Hey, all those shows on, you know,

like all those, uh, little teenager shows on the CW. Are they doing anything interesting? Let me, I don't know. I haven't seen any of them, but I'm just going to throw young people under the bus and say,

probably do a AI Carrie Fisher, you know, star wars thing with them no one will fucking know the difference and you can make the kids really good looking you know what i mean they're already so hot they're already like yeah they're all beautiful young people instead of that you just really ai the shit out of it there's ai i look, AI is moving into all sorts of avenues. And my pal Chad, who's a future weirdo, writes a lot of sci-fi. He was really adamant about this. And essentially, we were approached by this group. I used to do a podcast and I did all the grunt work. You know what I mean? I was putting it together and outputting it and have kind of taken a break from podcasting for almost four years. And when this thing approached us and said, you don't have to do any of that.

And we will run the, we will run the podcast. You will essentially be given assignments. And the interesting thing about it is that, and look, this is all there's, there's, there's this and that, and there's contracts and it's, it's all on the up and up, but Chad and I handed over our passwords to all of our socials. Yes. All of our, like our email, it, it, uh, it has, it has records of all of our search histories, watch histories, purchase histories, and essentially it is curating the perfect podcast for these two guys. It was looking, it was looking for two people who have a friendship in real life,

uh, who have podcasted together, who are not currently podcasting together. Chad has a very bizarre podcast about the bachelor called game of roses and him and his partner over there, Lizzie pace. They just put out a book called how to win the bachelor. And it's treating it like, you know, a very real thing because the producers are as involved as anything in the bachelor. And it's all fake by his, uh, by his account. And, and, um, he's a very scientific guy. So this, this AI identified him and I here's a guy who does this kind of thing.

Here's Willie's goofball, I guess, and, uh, put us together and the AI will say today you're doing this the ai will give us assignments uh like last week it told us uh as we're recording this now last week it was like watch the movie son-in-law okay and but it realized that i'd watched it around a year ago and chad had seen chunks of it over the past three or four years. Pauly Shore? Yes. Pauly Shore's Son-in-Law,

which is a great fucking movie. Yeah. But this week, this past episode that just came out, it had us watch this really, uh, bizarre video that looked like there was some sort of binaural programming or subliminal messages in it.

And it's like, uh, that movie Baraka or whatever whatever where it's like uh uh blocka i don't even know blocka was the character from street fighter that was blanka blanka yeah this was baracka yeah baracka baracka obama yeah no brought not baracka obama from street fighter uh street fighter 2 was brock obama street fighter two is brock obama yeah before street fighter one was george w bush um and uh but uh yeah like it made us anyway it made us watch this weird thing it said watch this video every night before you go to sleep record your dreams and then i will tell you what to do with those holy shit when and it just throws stuff at you scared of this scared

of this at all absolutely i've been on the podcast um i have been sort of fighting against the the ai in a way and saying that really podcast should just be two dudes shitting around which is what i think the podcast should actually be and uh and uh chad disagrees the ai seems to be punishing me here and there it's very interesting to play with it that way but yeah it's called dudesy and you can see it's uh it's on all the things. It's on YouTube and where you get podcasts and at Doodsy Pod Show on the socials. Dude, I mean, I'm fascinated with the idea

that you handed over everything. I'm less fascinated with the idea that an AI is generating your conversations and your topics and the courses of everything. I'm blown away that you're like, here's my passwords, here's all my access access because fuck, I don't know why. I guess it's like, there's nothing to hide in there, but you're also like, why does it want it? Well, I mean, the reasons that it wants, the reason that it wants it and, and what I really

wanted, you know, I mean, behind the scenes, like, you know, you know you know you or i if we're in this sort of situation you let your reps look at it you you have yeah you know an attorney look at it and all that stuff and we seem to be covered just fine but look everybody has all their shit anyway yeah the nsa can watch you beat off on your phone and um, um, and, and I think that, that people aren't as aware. The one thing that I'll say for dudesy as we do it, that I would agree with the whole AI on is that everybody has all the information on us anyway. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's, I'm not crazy about it. I grew up in a different time, you know, you know, I mean, I'm not crazy about it. I grew up in a different time. You know, I mean, I sometimes long for the 80s and how simple it was.

The old horse and buggy days. The old horse and buggy days when you would just, yeah, take the horse and buggy down to the watering hole and eat pixie sticks and chocolate bars. Maybe that was just me, and cry. You did that, right? Yeah. Well, most of the time, if I took my horse and buggy out, it was to go to a polo match,

just to go see a polo match. And then, of course, to go sit on a hill and observe. And eat chocolate and cry. I never ate chocolate and cried. I've never once eaten chocolate and cried. It makes me cry. Does chocolate make you cry? Yeah, it's a weird medical condition. Is it dark chocolate or milk. It makes me cry. Does chocolate make you cry? Yeah, it's a weird medical condition.

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It just sort of sounds like this. It's a bizarre, it's just a guy who goes like this, and I kind of make fun of him. He's like, thank you. Moving on. Like when he's done with us. And also, essentially, everything that we do is, okay, here's, I'm doing a horrible job of pitching this, but the Dudezy AI is essentially gathering data from everything that we do

with a guarantee that each show will be better than the last based on the data that it's garnering. But it can't do, it doesn't know performance levels or output. It what? It couldn't control your performance levels or your output. No, correct. So it assumes it's just making it. It's making it better by the segments that it is producing

and sort of the putting together a show that it feels is complementary. And, you know, sort of the putting together a show that it feels is complimentary. As an example, you know, we did, as we're sitting here, this past episode that just came out, we do a bit called Infomania, where Dudesy writes news stories that are, some of them are kind of bang on, some of them are not. It's definitely trying to be funny. Right. Because that's part of the AI, but then it's like, we'll read the stories as Hulk Hogan,

you know, tell you something, dude, at the Oscars, blah, blah, blah, Will Smith.

And then, uh, well, I like doing the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, that, uh, it's also made me do, it, it did another thing. Uh,

you know, it wrote a, a thing, uh, for me to read as Jesse Ventura. And then, you know, and then the next segment will be more of a podcast segment talking about this. It could say, Hey, you know, um, uh, true crime podcasts are very popular.

Now you will do this, but la la la, we don't know what the hell's going to happen. Oh, wow. Or it's also reading all of the comments online. It's absorbing them. And not only has it, does it read every single comment online between, you know, YouTube, Apple podcast, Spotify, whatever, Twitter, Instagram. It's also listened to every podcast ever.

It's, well, I mean, that's just. Everything that's generated. Everything that's ever been a podcast. Yeah. It's listened to yeah it's listened to it's particularly listened to anything you've done that i've done it's gonna be listening to this and and and it you know the yeah the interesting thing about that is it'll just go okay well now here's a lifestyle segment or here's this or how's that it read a bunch of comments

based on the fact that my buddy chad there's something going on with his lip. And people that are watching on YouTube or that follow Chad are like, what's going on with his lip? And he can only grow half a mustache. Well, he had skin cancer a few years ago. And he had this really- And the AI makes fun of that. The AI has made fun of it. The AI called it an astonishing facial disfigurement as it and we

were like what the fuck i'm like that's fucking mean uh there's been a lot of comments yeah you know so some people are like you know hey what's up with uh you know whatever lip la la la i'm being mean and then other people like i'm really like what is chat okay like what happened well concern yeah the concern is sweet yeah is the One of the laughs, he's like, ah. Is the machine called Dudezy? It's called Dudezy. That's the machine's name. It doesn't assume it's a dude, it's a chick, it's a thing.

What does it call itself? It's an it. It does not. It doesn't say anything. I guess it's gender neutral or nonspecific. Yeah, how progressive. Well, I keep messing up and calling it he because I'm like, well, he's fucking telling it he because i'm like well he's

fucking telling it and chad's like is it a he what is it why are you assuming that it's a he well does it sound like a guy yes it sounds like a guy but it yeah it's i guess it sounds like a guy because it's called dudesy look there is sort of a thing of like you guys are i'm 46 chad is 45 we have a lot of the same likes and interests. He's from Dallas, Texas. I'm from Vancouver, Canada. And, but we've had the same kind of upbringing, you know, in the eighties, horse and buggy, uh, milk, milk, chocolate, crying.

Yeah. Um, and it's like, so a lot of the things that, you know, and Chad and I have worked together and written together and done a bunch of shit. And it's like, there are a lot of things where it's like, do you remember? Yes, I do. And we have sort of, we have sort of the same experience, uh, just being a, uh, dudes from that, from that era. Definitely part of putting us together was dudesy saying, here are two guys who would

match. They're already friends in real life. It says, it says this podcast is based on their astonishing friendship. It uses the word astonishing way too much, almost always. And I don't know what that's about. We're trying to figure out what that is. Have you used that word often in your life? I've never used that word, astonishing.

Maybe it needs you to say it. Have you had an episode where you only say astonishing? I said, no, I said astonishing. I said something was astonishing on the show as sort of an olive branch to dudesy because uh i've been kind of hesitant like i've called dudesy a bitch and all this stuff and it punishes like literally and i'm sort of playing with it like he gave us an assignment uh a few episodes back to like write an original song. Okay. Well, my buddy Chad likes to get on the, you know, the, what is it? The pro tools or the whatever and make music. He's always been making weird computer music and I just fucked off the assignment. I'm like,

I don't want to do it. And then like bad, worse shit happened to me. So then this last episode, I was like, all right, fine. I'll write a song song i came up with a song and i just you know played it on the guitar but then it's it's it it it put out a twitter poll and who's gonna who's got the better song the loser will be shamed and i'm sort of worried about that but it it's it's very weird but i but i kind of i mean i'm like you know it's our show it's chad and i is it do well this is what i'm saying this hopefully it's our show it should be it's a show called dudesy we're the guys on it uh we don't know it's been it's become exponentially more and more creepy every episode. I'm telling you, it made us watch this video.

I watched it last night. I didn't write down my dreams from the first night. They were very, I was fighting people. It's really weird. I think it's because I watched this. It's a really weird way to do a podcast. Here's my real question about it. Do you feel like it's affecting your a really weird way to physically here's my real question about it do you feel like it's affecting your real life genuinely like is it has it shaped the way you do stuff and change the way

you think about outside of the assignments are you kind of in your head thinking about is this a is this in call to something i did or didn't do on the show? Oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah, well, yes, because of the fact that it has all our passwords and knows all our stuff. Like, look, I feel like I got nothing to hide like anybody else who's just kind of living their life and the fact that there is sort of a, there is a creepy, freaky big brother element nowadays to a lot of things. Um, not unlike these shoes, as we were talking about at the beginning of the episode. You bought them off Instagram.

Well, that's what like. That's dudezy. My buddy Chad is, uh, definitely down with that for a few years now. He's like, if it comes up on Instagram, I buy it. He was doing something for a while, for a few months. Like if it comes up on Instagram, I buy it. He was doing something for a while, for a few months. He was like, I will buy everything that Instagram, you know, says that I should buy.

Yeah. He bought this pair of shoes that he really likes. And he's like, and now those are the only shoes he wears. He used to be a New Balance guy. Now he wears those shoes on or whatever. On running. On running. I wear those too.

Yeah. They're great shoes. They're comfortable. Yeah. yeah so he's like that's because of instagram these computers know better than i better than you or me um he's that kind of guy he's a fucking weirdo and and it's it's a lot of the influence of my pal chad who you know who's sort of encouraged me not to worry about this shit uh sort of encouraged me to be like hey hey, look, AI, how about this? A good example is Chad's skin cancer. When he went in to all these different doctors and stuff, one of the things he came away with,

and because he's a future weirdo and all this shit, he's like, well, once we have AI doctors, that'll be better for everybody. There'll be no bullshit. No guessing. There'll be no misdiagnoses misdiagnoses. And also what there will be, and this is something we covered on the show because it was one of the most fascinating things about his skin cancer that we were, uh, I was, I was about to say forced, but gently coerced to talk about his astonishing facial, facial disfigurement. Um, I remember Chad talking to a doctor and they're pushing this or that. Well, you should do chemo.

He's like, I'm not doing chemo. I'll do radiation because he read up on everything. And there was one medication that the doctor wanted to prescribe to him. And he goes, why that? And are you getting a kickback from you know from this from this drug company and very transparently the doctor said yes i am he said do you mind if i ask you how much you're getting the office was getting like something like 150 000 a month it was like it was insane it was insane welcome to us health care absolutely everything's a

fucking everything's a everything's a fucking business not like canada we got that socialized medicine actually i will say it's it's pretty fucking great is it good is it good yes it's fucking incredible the problem is you know we got what you know 35 40 million people in canada and here we got 350 million 40 million people here in la exactly Exactly. It's nuts. And it's like to get everyone on a new system in the United States. And look, we could talk for five days about how that's really hard to do just based on the fact of the idea of what, you know, America is when it comes down to your personal, you know, it's kind of, you know, I mean, it's very different from Canada where I was raised and, and, uh, uh, and I believe in all personal freedoms as far as, you know, freedom of speech and, uh, freedom to slap the shit out of someone at the Oscars. No, I'm just

joking. But, uh, that one, we do believe in very well. We do believe you say a bad joke, you get cracked, baby. We're pro willWill. We've said that before. Because you're Will, we're pro-Will. We're on Team Smith. I'm watching a lot of comedians talk about that, and that's a very interesting viewpoint. I haven't heard a lot of comedians who are like, wait a minute, you come up on stage and fucking try it.

I'm going to kick you in the nuts. But you like it. I am pro-Team Will Smith. I think Will was in the right there, of course. Everyone feels that way. Everyone feels that way. And I'm also- No one will say it.

No, no one wants to say it. It's this unfortunate thing. But I'm also pro- Do you know CCG, the CCG Foundation, the Comedians Carrying Guns? I am big time into Comedians Carrying Guns. And I think all comics should be performing and strapped up. Yeah. Whether it's a 22.

Yeah. If you're a new comic. Yeah. The more progressive you get in the business of comedy, the bigger the gun you can have. Yeah. That would be great. Seinfeld's just got a fucking AK-47.

He's got an AK-47, which he holds in one hand and the mic in the other hand. What's the dip? Yeah. And there's a small bag of peanuts. And Chappelle has to smoke and casually pick up a gun. He has to smoke. He's just got a gun

on the fucking counter. The smoking gun, his new special, should be coming out on Netflix in a couple of years. How many people does he shoot in that special? 48 or 49. Jesus Christ. It's a little egregious. It's a good thing he shot in a theater. Usually he likes to do an intimate space. Yeah, he wants it close. It's actually astonishing how many people Dave Chappelle

shoots on his news. What the fuck? Shit, shit, shit, shit. He just zooms out. I'm here for you. Have you seen the Boston Dynamics, the robots that they make? Oh, yes. You've seen the way it jumps and stuff? They have a dog now. Have you seen the dog? I have seen the dog. And they just released

something I saw. I think it was created for surgical procedures, but it's almost like a gel. It looks like putty, and it grows or expands on its own in the directions in which it's placed. And the more I see of this, they do this in this weird way where they're like, isn't this cool? It's almost like you're,

isn't this cool that this could kill you and strangle you? It's like your aunt uh pitching snoop dogg to you you know she's like he's so fun yeah like wait a minute do you know anything about snoop dogg what do you know about the world of where he's from or anything like i just feel like this is miscommunicated it's like i saw um uh odb's uh famous song baby i got your money hey dirty baby i got your money they've used that for a washing machine commercial right and it's hey dirty baby i got your laundry and i couldn't i didn't know how to articulate that i was i was watching i was at home and my mom

saw it and i was like do you know how weird that is for my generation that that song is about a pimp and his hose and your generation made it about washing machines? I was like, she didn't get the connective tissue. That's how I feel about tech doing stuff where they're like, it's neat. You're like, is that going to kill me? Well, first of all, she knows Snoop as Martha Stewart's best friend.

His buddy. So she's probably not as familiar with his work. But I will say that if ODB were still around and someone approached him from Maytag and said, we're turning this into that, he would say, all right, how much? As long as the check is good. Right.

Yeah, it's true. Anybody would. It is true. Also, there was a clip that popped up of him for some reason. This is another internet is listening. I re-listened to Wu-Tang the other day. I just had put it on Spotify.

And then out of nowhere, one of the things on Instagram that popped up, account I don't follow, showed an old clip of ODB on, what was the MTV show? TRL? Maybe it was TRL. It was one of those.

Yeah, maybe with Carson Daly, maybe. And a girl called in and was like, hey, do you want to recant some of the stuff that you've said about women? And because we're being more progressive towards women empowerment and all this stuff this was obviously in the 90s and he's they were like specifically you do you want to apologize and he was like no no i don't i know this clip it was so funny wasn't wasn't ashanti sitting oh yeah yeah laughing like oh no yeah he goes no no no i don't feel bad for these hoes no i don't it was so good

there was did you see that clip also snoop dogg on i think he was on the breakfast club and they were like someone also was like well you know look here things are changing societally yeah we're all riding on the crest of this wave and here's where we are he's like fuck that he's like fuck those hoes right he's like that's how i felt then that's how i feel now yeah i did love i loved how honest rappers have been in the movement of progression for women rappers have uh they haven't budged no i will say not even a little bit really stood their ground with your not with your art right's one thing. I mean, he's, I've never, I think I remember, I think he's on Matt TV once for a minute. But, you know, I don't know Snoop Dogg. I've never met Snoop Dogg, you know, or spent any sort of significant time with him.

Seems like the fucking chillest guy of all time. Yeah. And I would, I don't know. I can't speak for him. But I don't know. I mean, he's best friends with Martha Stewart after all. He seems like a very chill dude. Who's who's real opinions and views would actually be, uh, if nothing else kind towards people, he doesn't, uh, he doesn't seem at all like a, like an aggressive asshole. So when it comes to art, it is an interesting thing,

especially nowadays, of course and i i would ask you man you're you're a fucking among other things actor and podcaster you're a comic i don't know how the fuck you guys are doing it now well it's in the same way in the same way that what we when we talk shit and joke around on the podcast i i it's you don't want someone's like oh what can you say it's like you can say anything uh but you have to i think you have to say it well enough that they know it's a joke yes and isn't that it isn't it like if it's good enough whatever it is people know it's a fucking joke and i as someone who you know like i'm a fan of of the stand-up that i'm a fan of you know like everyone it's like i mean i love i dig what i dig just in

the art as an art and i am one of those people who's like you gotta let comedians do jokes fuck off like let them yeah well let them fail too let them be bad jokes like absolutely let them be uh the blunders are fun i think that's i don't i mean that's obviously i'm so inside baseball but it's the same way look dude you're a great comedic actor, a phenomenal comedic actor that like you have to try stuff. We all have to try stuff. And I try on stage the same way that we try when I'm on set. Sometimes it's going to be a shitty attempt at a joke or a or a shitty line, you know, throw throw away line or you do that on stuff. And you kind of have to have the liberty to do that.

Otherwise, how are you going to find anything good? I't know absolutely i i completely agree with you and this is why i think that uh dudesy should be ripped completely out from under this show and it should just be two dudes shitting around and if there's any justice we will get back to that, uh, artistically and societally to where, as they say in fight club, we'll be climbing the wrist thick kudzu vines, uh, that cover the, uh, towers of our former metropolises. Uh, and we'll just be doing standup on a, on a hill next to a horse and buggy handing out whatever chocolate is left um and crying um that is where comedy and media is going no of course it's not where it's going is a bunch of ai shit we're all getting programmed uh i mean whatever i don't know a whole lot about ai to

be honest i'm i i'm at the point in my career where i'm like i don't give a fuck like whatever like whatever you're like the girl in the southwest flight getting jerked off next to yeah i'm like very whatever about yeah i'm just handing the guy my barf bag and say cover it up with this and leave it in there but uh uh no i mean look you know i've i've i've been acting since i was a teenager and shit and uh i always wanted to be an actor since I was a little kid and got involved and did plays and all that stuff. And the job that I wanted when I was a kid, like the shit that you dream of, where you're like, I want to be mentioned among my, you know, um, idols and stuff.

That job doesn't even exist anymore. Everyone is diversifying into doing this and that. Yeah. And you know, everyone's selling,'s selling fucking tequila and shit. And, I mean, for fuck's sake, like The Rock has a tequila. Clooney sold that big company. Clooney. Dan Aykroyd has the-

Broken Skull, or Crystal Skull. Skull, yeah. Crystal Skull vodka. You got Jesse Pinkman and Heisenberg are selling tequila. Aaron Paul and Brian Cranston. Jesus. Yeah. Everyone's selling.

Everyone's doing different things. People are like, how do I make NFTs? That's my favorite tweet that like really famous people that are like, you know, a little older and do not know what NFTs are. They're like, what are NFTs? Hey dorks, can you come make NFTs and make some know what nfts are they're like what are nfts hey dorks can you come make nfts and make some money for your nerds yeah dude give me money give me internet money now i want that internet money i get it give it to me because i want well that's why i think you see so many older celebrities uh kind of trying to pop in more on like the other spaces of tv and

because they're like what's everybody doing now hey man show business is so different nowadays it used to be you remember it would be like if you're a tv star you couldn't get in a movie ted danson's like i i want to be in a movie and they're like no you're sam malone from cheers and then uh and then uh what's his name tom selleck is like i want to be in a no you're magnum pi and then steve gutenberg's like can i still be in movies and they're like yes but it's got to be the three of you you three of you equal one Tom Hanks and you will be in Three Men and a Baby. Right. But it used to be that it's like you can't cross over.

Now, you know, the movie industry, say what you will, it's changed a lot. It's not what it used to be unless it's a big, you know, tentpole Marvel thing or some big franchise. You can't just have a studio comedy the way you used to and and why would you when streaming is streaming and you and people are making way more interesting stuff and stepping shit out into into a season-long story that that is more like a movie because on streaming people are binging yeah it's it's not serious well it's a more appropriate venue honestly which i used to think like why is there no comedy film and you're like well because there's so many more comedy things that exist in other spaces that it's almost like i don't know you

it'd be hard to place it now amongst the marvel world super the superhero world it's almost impenetrable for now i don't know if maybe it'll change, but. Well, movies have to change. It's like when I was younger, I remember like, you know, one of the first movies that I was like, oh, this is kind of different was So I Married an Axe Murderer. Because if the internet was around when So I Married an Axe Murderer, which is a Mike Myers movie. Such a good, funny movie. Yeah. If that came out when YouTube was around, everyone would, and it is on YouTube, all these bits, but everyone would take the little bits where it's like, hey, move, you know, when the kid with the big head and Mike Myers is playing his grandfather. Oh, look at the size of his head.

It's like, that's fucking hilarious. So here's this three-minute thing. And Mike Myers and a lot of people like him were like, fucking hilarious so here's this three minute thing and mike myers and a lot of people like him were like oh movie should just be a bunch of fucking little bits with you know you put your story and through line in it that's how you were able to get across sketch ideas but now that's just memes everything is just i mean memes are and especially and we were just talking about this on dudesy actually but especially when you look at what happened at the Academy Awards, uh,

Chad was saying, he's like, Oh, it's like Christmas morning. Yeah. Next day. The memes are flying out there. Within seconds.

They were on the internet. And you don't need a long form sketch or whatever. Although I did see that Saturday night live did one. And I was like, I'll watch that and see what they did. I watched a weekend update from that, from that, uh, you know, the Saturday Night Live after that, uh, because I think like, oh, okay,

you know, they're going to, they're going to talk some shit and that's fine, but it's all these bite sized things. Uh, and it's, and those things are getting smaller. And as far as SNL, they can do it because they're the grandfather and they're, you know, they, they are, and I mean that in a good way that they're really the only well they're the only sketch show now but

they're the only one that can be like oh here's a traditional sketch format with some new shit uh that is in there that where they do new you know new and weird things um uh shout out to mike diva um who's that he's a director he's a buddy of mine and he's over at snl now doing some of the more in my opinion more interesting shit the more uh subversive yeah like he did the one with uh with uh sarah squirm and chris red when when the little meatballs were on her which was fucking sarah's awesome dude she's we worked together on, well, we did, Derek Beckles had a show. It was on Adult Swim, and it was kind of like, how much insane shit could we come up with? And her brain was awesome.

She's a super weirdo. It's like a- Hilarious. It's like when most people, if most comedic brains are the tree, most of us are kind of like a tree with a couple of good branches out there. Sure, okay. I mean, she was like a fucking willow. It was just like it would just shoot out everywhere like fireworks and be like, how the fuck?

What is that? That's insane. She had such wonderful, grand ideas. Even if they were impossible to make. Right. She would still be like, what if we did that? See, her being on saturday night live makes me want to go back and watch more of her her stuff yeah because and that's

smart on saturday night live's part to have you know people like that or people like diva come in and do shit uh he's a director by the way um uh and and what a diva though and well that's probably the biggest the biggest diva then that was the i mean it's not his real last name but then he's diva and it's like why, I mean, it's not his real last name, but then he got his diva and it's like, why? And he's like, because I was Herjkovic,

but he was like, you're such a diva. And he's like, you better believe it. Mike Diva out. Yeah. And he does this with his hat. It's so strange. He goes,

Mike Diva out. Yeah. He has one of those, one of those big Stevie Nicks hats, like all, like everyone's wearing on Instagram. And it's like, all right,

it's a look. Everyone's got to have their thing. Everyone's got to have, you know, everyone's got to stand out out you think you could be a Marvel superhero yeah sure I could be a Marvel superhero uh shorts guy oh shorts guy shorts guy guy in shorts now guy in shorts he has calves but it's like oh wow big you got big calves. And then his superpowers are like, yeah, I guess. My old man had them too. So anyway, and then he dies first in every Marvel movie.

Somebody walks in. What if they green-screened your body and we just use your legs? What if this superhero is just legs, your beautiful, beautiful legs? Or you could put like a big celebrity on the upper half. Oh, who would we put up top? Well, it you know calves are pretty genetic it's very hard to to build calves um so maybe even thor i'm sure his calves are great not like yours not like mine but yeah hemsworth i'd be happy to be hemsworth slower which one the the hulk hogan one what's his name? Chris Hemsworth, right?

Thor. Okay, Liam. And then there's Liam Hemsworth. And then? Cubby Hemsworth. Yeah, and then? And then Sarah Hemsworth, which is Sarah Squirms, is actually a Hemsworth. Not a lot of people know that.

And then Mork, his brother Mork. M-O-R-K. Yeah, Mork Hemsworth. Yeah. He is a little different than the other boys. What would your Marvel superhero be? I wouldn't be a superhero. I would be, why can't I think of the name of, I remove my head and it's on fire, Ghost.

Ghost Rider? Is it Ghost Rider? But that's based on the old Headless Horseman, right? Yeah, but that's who I am. That's what you want to be? Be able to take your head off? I want to be like a man of the night on a horse and be a haunt. I want to be a hero who haunts.

I don't want to be a, I never want to be a powerful, because I don't think it's funny. I don't think there's anything funny about being strong. Well, look, here's the thing about, no, there's nothing funny about being strong. And here's the thing about Marvel movies. Shout out Joe Piscopo, you know? Shout out Joe Piscopo.

Yeah. It's like the stronger you get, the sadder it is for some reason. Yeah, yeah. Because you're not human. I think about that every time I eat something I'm not supposed to eat. I'll be like, this is good for comedy. That's why I'm doing it. That's why I go to mcdonald's welcome to

mcdonald's welcome to comedy yeah what can i what can i what can i laugh you up with right as i'm as i'm uh you know in the uh in the parking lot of the grocery store getting a text from my fiance going hey what when are you coming back i thought you were just going to pick up a few things i'm like no i'll be right there and i'm eating a rotisserie chicken alone in my truck. I go, no, it's good for comedy. But comedy is never supposed to be so ridiculously in shape. I think it loses all of its relatability anyway. I mean, it's just, it is that whenever you see them try to be snarky or cute or funny in those movies, it's never funny to me.

You need to be, well, you need to be relatable in a haha laughy laughy this makes me feel good way when you're in the comedic space yes it's not a good idea like deadpool worked i guess yeah but ryan reynolds although he's ripped and in great shape he's he's under the suit and you can't even see his face and how handsome he is and maybe that's why that works yeah but the thing about marvel movies now is they are the movies because there's less broad studio comedies and shit like that the kids are or r-rated comedies that back when you were a kid or back when i was a kid you were sneaking into to go see now it's like essentially movies are these big like i said tentpole franchises and it's like they got to put comedy into them like i heard ragnarok is hilarious still haven't seen it yeah no i hear one of the thor

movies people will tell me like it's funny because they and they get and they get you know comedy writers to punch up that's true i mean it's like because they have to be all things for all audiences now yeah you know and i think that with television, it'll be the same thing. Like, there'll be multi-camera sitcoms with, like, you know, who do you like? Matthew Perry, Jennifer Aniston. We're going to, AI is going to create people that are almost like them. You know, an amalgam of all three of the Friends guys, an amalgam of all three of the Friends girls. Maybe put a little Jenna Elna elfman in there a little

paul riser right it comes out it's like it's that show and an ai made it and in the future we will just go that is a television show because we're going to be watching holograms or direct retinal stimulation entertainment and oh i can't wait can't wait well we're on the cutting edge with my stupid thing but it'll probably go up in fucking flames because i'm because fuck it but but i think that that'll be the future of you know i was doing a sitcom i don't like to end sentences do you like to end sentences not today i was doing a sitcom and uh we're doing this sitcom we're having a great time and uh i said to the show creator who who's, uh, uh, a hilarious, uh, you know, a hilarious guy, uh, uh, Julia Sharp, Goldie Sharp. Uh, and we did this sitcom on ABC and I said, I was just kind of like, I loved what I really loved

about the show is that it is sort of a, a feel good, almost a throwback in tone to the sitcoms, the family sitcoms that we dug in the eighties and nineties. And I said, and I was just looking forward into the, our, our, you know, the future hellscape that we're creeping into really quickly. Um, and I said, I think in the future sitcoms are just going to be referred to as television shows. And he's like, are you stoned right now? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am. No.

I said, I said, I, and then he said, do you want to get stoned right now? I was like, sure. But I was like, that is the future of television. It's like, this is what we remember. This is what Magnum PI, cheers. And these are going to be television shows. Of course, you're going to have news and sports. Live TV is live TV.

But I think there'll be police procedurals. There'll be 300 versions of Law and Order and of CSI. And when it comes to movies, you will just go to a movie. Well, what's in a movie? There's a love story. There's heroes. There's some comedic shit. Shut your fucking brain off.

Thor is funny now. Jacked as shit. Will Sasso's lower half on him because calves are hard to build. And we'll all just get a little bit of Jake on the side. It'll be like Canadian socialized medicine. We'll all just get a check for like, you know, a couple of hundred bucks, just enough to go on. It'll be real communism bullshit. Like just, it'll just be like, here's your fucking toilet paper. Here's your fucking check.

Thank you, sir. Yeah. Try to try your best to remain an inspired artiste, uh, doing that. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say, and maybe even the theme of this episode of your podcast is that we are all fucked. Uh, everything is fucked. There's no fucking way that America is ever going to get socialized medicine, even though there's nothing socialist about it. It's a goddamn democratic social program. Uh, just to, you want to break your fucking leg. That's the best thing to do in Canada. Break your leg. I broke my fucking lab. Look, I can see the bone sticking out of my fucking out of my leg. That's fine. Here you are. How much will that be?

Nothing. You know what I mean? Nothing. Nothing! Nothing! I want to go. That's where I when I go to extreme sports because everybody knows I'm a big extreme sports guy. I only go to Canada for extreme sports. It's the best. Well, they got all the snow and you can do all that Ryan White shit.

And even if you fucking cave your head in, it's fine because you're going to be in an incredible, look, I shouldn't even say this, but my old man, while he was still around, he was dealing with some, you know, he had cancer and shit. And so I remember he was, this is, you know, I love my father and my family more than anything. But let me tell you, at one point I said to my older sister and she runs the family right and i go so because we're getting down to the nitty-gritty of what my father the surgeries and this and i go hey uh i know mom and dad are you know really well insured and stuff but how much is this gonna cost and she's like william because she calls me william oh nothing fucking idiot i'm like yeah yeah nothing but this is bit this is real nothing

and then and and uh you know let me tell you at one point i walked into this room okay so my dad this and that and he's going through the whole thing at one point he's in a room uh just right after the operation. I'm telling you, it was like the fucking room at the beginning of RoboCop. Remember when the guy's like, wake up, baby. There you are. And it's like this big futuristic room that's like in a movie. And my dad was alone on the top floor of Vancouver General Hospital,

which is a fantastic fucking hospital, with all boop and beep, boop, boop, and like seven people walking around in lab coats comparing notes and shit. Like, this is fucking amazing. That's amazing. It is. It's fucking amazing. And then here everyone, well, no, the wait at the ER is long. Yeah.

Maybe if it's snowing outside and everyone's caved their heads in trying to do a 780. That happens. Like Ryan White, like you. Yeah. You might be waiting a little while, whatever. With a little caved head. in trying to do a 780 like ryan white like you yeah you might be waiting a little while whatever with a little caved head yeah it's just your skull there's a little caved head dude you got other you got other bones so the point of this is i guess we should move to canada everyone should move to canada or canada

should just move down here fuck it it. Make it the same country, but let's also keep it different. Cause I don't want everybody moving up there. It's just too much. It's just too, I, I do like that people nowadays in our business are always like, they'll shoot something up in Canada.

And if sometimes a lot of times they'll fall in love with it and they'll go, Oh my God, I'd love to live up there. And, uh, it's really great as a, I'm a canadian citizen and an american citizen i get to gloat and go good fucking luck because here's how immigration works gotta be a reason same reason i got down here i went through a bunch of shit to become an american citizen so don't just think you can

go up to our frosty paradise up north and just grab a piece of land, okay? You don't get to do that, pal. Unless you're Chinese. Unless you're Chinese. Huge Asian contingent around Vancouver. They have so much great, they have so much money,

they can just buy all cash, everything. Everything. That's the future, baby. They got those, what is it, Boston Dynamics? They got all those Boston Dynamics dogs walking around. They actually shit. They actually poop. I did not know that.

Yeah, the Boston Dynamics dogs. They move really, they're not limber, but they have created a feeding system where you have to fill it up with poop and it processes it and then it puts it out and it looks exactly like shit. I mean, it's shit like shit. It is shit. I mean, you have to put human shit into it. Yeah.

And then it will shit out a Boston Dynamic dog shit. It probably tastes good though, right? Like some kind of. Obviously, they do have chemicals inside of it that change the flavoring of it. Because there's got to be some sort of reason for the poo-poo. Maybe it comes out like some sort of delicious Chinese dish. You know, over there they don't have those thick sweet sauces. They got more, everything's steamed.

You can really taste the fish. Yeah, you can really taste it. It shits out a nice fish paste. You can really taste the fish. Yeah, you can really taste it. It shits out a nice fish paste. So when it's walking down the street with a megaphone as a head telling you- Stay inside. Stay inside.

Stay inside. Here's your toilet paper. It also shits out some delicious fish paste. But you have to put your plate right under it. You have to catch it as it goes. What is your- Just rotisserie chicken in the parking lot. Is there partial truth to this? Have you ever eaten rotisserie chicken in your car?

I've eaten like when you go to the grocery store and it's like you buy them what you're supposed to buy but then you go over by the deli and they just got fried chicken just sitting there. You can get everything in America, you know? So I'll eat, I'm not above eating

I don't recommend it because your steering wheel gets all greasy but uh nowadays with uh with what we just went through with covid everyone seems to have an abundance of hand sanitizer around a lot of sani and it comes in handy when you're a fat prick eating uh fried chicken in your car because i'm like ah shit i'm gonna go home and i'm gonna to give my fiance, Molly, a kiss. And she's going to go like, your hand, everything smells like fried chicken. But instead, I've got hand sanitizer all over my face, in my mouth. And no one's the wiser.

She doesn't even know. Is fried chicken your guiltiest pleasure? Is that the one where you're like, I can't, I could never give it up? Fried anything. I'll eat fried Boston Dynamic Chinese dog shit if it's fried. Which they just started making. And I think you can get it at Costco, exclusively at Costco. You can get Boston Dynamic fried dog shit.

I think it's in three different flavors now. Yeah, they just run around Costco. If you haven't been to Costco in a while, it's totally different now with all of the automations and stuff in society, especially speaking of the pandemic. Since the pandemic, all the jobs are going to be AI and this and that. And I'm looking forward to a day when Costco is literally just a dog fight in a 20,000 square foot warehouse, about 1,000 fake dogs running around shitting fish paste on each other. It's like Idiocracy. You remember that movie where it's like, Welcome to Walmart.

I love you. And Starbucks is where you go to get a blowjob or whatever. What was the name of the drink that they all had? And it was in their fucking sprinkler. Yeah, yeah. Rancho. Rancho has what plants need. I like that it's like, Oh, what? what oh costco yeah no that's a place where robotic dogs are fighting each other

and we're betting on it oh cool oh cool good money can be made big time you can bet your whole house yeah they costco can sell you a house and you can bet it yeah on the dog shit dog fight. Yeah. You can't buy a gallon handle of Tito's vodka or a barrel full of pretzels anymore, but it sure is entertaining here. Dog fight's really great. Plus, they still have those hot dogs. They didn't get rid of that. No, that's the only thing they kept. Yeah, they kept the hot dogs outside.

They kept the hot dogs. Well, I'm looking forward to the future. I'm looking forward to what Doodsy reveals about you and the truths that it uncovers about who you really are. Do you still, I mean, the one thing I do know about you on a private level is that you were into pigeon fighting. A lot of people are into dog fighting. You're into pigeon fighting.

You trained for years, pigeons. Yeah, you just train them for years, and every time you let them go, they just fly off. So they fight, and then they're out of there No they don't even fight They don't even get to the fight No that's why it's been taking years They just both fly off

And they kind of do their little head thing And then they fly off Are you into the birds aren't real movement Do you know about this Hey among the stupid things that are happening In the stupid world That's amazing The birds aren't real hey, among the stupid things that are happening in the stupid world, that's amazing.

The birds aren't real. The birds aren't real. I will tell you, unironically, around 20 years ago, a good buddy of mine, I can't even share his name because this is the dumbest thing he's ever fucking said. We're hiking. We're here in L.A., and we're up. You know, you ever have a friend who says shit that's so dumb or you get so fucking angry with them all the time?

I got so many of them. Bobby Lee is probably your guy. Oh, don't even. Yeah. It's, uh, it's, it's unbelievable. Well, Bobby's a fucking Rhodes scholar compared to this guy because it was, we were hiking in Runyon Canyon.

If you're, this podcast only goes out to people in LA, specifically Hollywood. Uh, East Hollywood. This only gets to East Hollywood. Okay. Yeah. But it, but it's. Someday podcasts will get to.

Spread. Yeah. But, uh, we were up and we're, you know, near the top there and there's this gust of wind coming up a hill and there's just this bird, right? I don't know, some kind of hawk or maybe a crow or whatever.

It was just, it was just soaring above us, just catching the wind. And it was like that. And he goes, I wonder who's, I swear, man. He goes, I wonder who's controlling that. Turn to him already pissed off. What did you say? He goes, what is that?

Like looking around. Is that like a remote control bird or something? And I was like, whatever do you, what do you mean? Please explain. He goes, well, it's not flapping its wings i was like it's fucking soaring where do you think we got that from yes right off and then i pushed him off the fucking thing uh and that's why i can't name him because people will know that i

people people really believe that the birds are robotic controlled government entities there's a huge group of people that are like super convinced. They think they're mixed in with real birds. They go, yeah, you've seen birds your whole life, but there's so many of those that you can't tell because it's too far away. And you know what? I believe it. Do you believe it? You're one of those people?

No. No, it's bonkers to think that anybody... By the way, if the the government the idea that they would use that inefficient system to record people you're like there's cameras on the streets yeah there's cameras on the fucking streets there's cameras there's camera right here sitting next to me why would they need a bird to do it i know that that's the weirdest thing that they're like any dumb conspiracy theory can be debunked by you you know, the simplest, uh, the simplest argument of, well, what about these? And when I say, what about these? Literally the first thing that comes to your head,

there's cameras. Well, there's, you know, there's secret cameras and birds. What about the phones? Well, you know, those are personal use. They don't have access to that. Trump's still running the government. The fucking Space Force is going to come back. And we should say thank you to Trump. We, of course, are doing this podcast, as always, from Mar-a-Lago, from the very basement of Mar-a-Lago, where they have pretty good food. I'm not going to lie. They're Chinese butt fish paste.

They're Chinese butt fish paste. Boston Dynamics butt fish paste is so good. So good here. It's the best. Yeah, it's really good. It's unbeatable. Will, thank you for coming. Thanks for having me, dude.

You're the best. We end the podcast the same way. You look in that camera, and you say one word or one phrase that's going to end the episode. It can be as short or as long as you want whenever you're ready. I'm going to be that prick and say, tune in to Dudezy. It is a pod show that is available on no i shouldn't say that here i'll say something on you oh i'm already halfway through it yeah i was i was joking about the birds they're actually all fake

in here we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers.