Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep174 - The List Game
Episode Date: October 6, 2019This week comedian Justin Brown joins the show to discuss an improv comedy game show. What happens when a bunch of unfunny nobodies try to make a comedy podcast? Yes, and! We also finally play the St...uttering John song parodies and check in on Steve Grillo, Artie Lange, Sheamus, Hard Men Working Hard, and Chip Chipperson. Purchase cool sh*t: https://teespring.com/stores/who-are-these-podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Cause, cause a rule, cause a rule.
Uh, Carl has, uh, one of my favorite podcasts ever.
Who are these podcasts?
It's called Run By, a guy called Carl.
Who are these podcasts?
It's a podcast review.
I was on Who Are These Podcasts yesterday.
It's a great show.
Have you ever listened to it?
I have not.
It's a quality show and they have good ideas.
It's kind of like
Joctober but with with really no redeeming quality what so
You guys are concise and brutal. Yeah, you just mercilessly rips on people some of these quite hilarious
You don't have to listen to shitty podcasts. You do it for us
Who this guys are making some fucking points here.
I like what I'll say.
I don't know what you like what they're saying.
It's hilarious.
The show is hilarious.
It's show time. W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P.
Hello, back slivers and cousin ruse.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
The only show that would vote for Hunter Biden for president today, if it could.
I'm your host, Kara.
With me this week is Justin Brown.
I don't even know who Hunter Biden is.
He's the co-cat son of Joe Biden.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
Hunter, that's amazing.
Go to who are these.com to get our email address, voice bell number, link to our
sub or link to our discord server that we're on live.
Right now, link to our PayPal account, link to our merchandise.
We encourage our listeners to give us a five-story view on iTunes and then shit all over us
in the comments section today.
We'll be reviewing a podcast called
the Whis game. This was a suggestion that came in from when to go. We have both listened to the show
separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Justin, let's get into it. This
is a show with hosts. Daniel Rosanna, Kathy, Joey, Dean, Rod, and Rod.
Well, there's a lot of fucking people out there.
Well, first I want to say, went to go,
uh, fuck you for ruining my Saturday afternoon
for making me listen to this fucking podcast.
And yeah, why are there so many people?
These names mean nothing.
What do they do?
Are they comedians?
Are they, who are these people?
For a lot of podcasters, more equals better.
We can have two people, but that wouldn't be very good.
Let's get three.
Oh, you don't be better than that.
Seven.
Seven.
Okay.
I guess.
And I couldn't tell these people apart.
There's two women on the show.
Yeah.
There's Kathy, who I think is the wife of Daniel.
And then there's Rosanna.
Rosanna doesn't talk very much.
Kathy talks too much.
Let's get into some clips. I want to start off by playing at the very beginning of the show.
They lay out the rules for the show because this is a improv game show.
Wouldn't have guessed it by listening to it.
Right. In fact, it took me in full listening all the way through to be like,
Oh, that's what they're doing.
So I'm going to play the rules and I'm going to explain what does actually mean.
It's because I've listened to a couple episodes.
The list game is a conversational improv game.
We discuss a hypothetical situation,
and our cast has drawn a series of phrases
from the chicken hat.
Their goal is to slip those phrases into the conversation.
Every time they do successfully, they get a point.
If someone says, hey, that's on your list
and catches them, then they get that point.
You can also bluff, making up your own.
And if someone calls you, you get a bluff point.
Okay, so let's talk about what this means.
It seems like an interesting idea.
Yeah. I'm not putting down the idea. They're saying everybody has five phrases that
they're trying to use. Right. And if they can use them without people noticing that
they're shoe-horning it in. Right. Then they get a point for that. If they use them
and somebody says, that doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah. Then the person who calls
them out gets a point. Right. And if they say something that's ridiculous and somebody thinks that
They're trying to say one of their phrases and they call their bluff
Yeah, then they all right here's the problem is that they're not funny. You're interesting correct
So what would make the game great is if the point's actually mattered and they had to kill somebody at the end of each episode
That would make it very interesting
Not vote about the island, vote about the earth.
You're done.
You take one thing off of their health care coverage.
Yes.
That's a good idea.
Oh, dental?
See ya.
Listen, that's not that bad.
Come back next week.
It's going to get worse.
It's going to get worse.
It's about mail-privileged for 20 minutes, man.
Oh, yeah.
Let's get into that.
But first, so I just want to point out
what the flaws are in the system of the game that they've provided here.
So you have people who aren't necessarily all that funny off the cuff trying to do improv.
And now you've strapped them down to these rules that say, you need to shoehorn things in that don't make any sense.
And shoehorn and other things that try to get people to think that you've shoehorned something in that doesn't make sense on purpose.
So you've developed a game where you're literally
trying to be unfunny on purpose.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
They took like the like,
what if we take all of the worst parts of improv
and stand up and match them together?
Like all the bad take opinions of stand up
and all of the go-no-wear conversation
lack of punchlines of improv.
Well, it's also this idea that's like
card against humanity.
You take unfunny people and you go, here's the joke.
Yeah, you just hand them the card and they go,
oh, I got the joke.
It's like, you're not a talented person
for reading the card that someone handed you.
That's not funny.
It's like podcasts like this make me think
that sometimes fascism is okay.
Yeah.
Because I just want to force these people
to have to do this live.
Like as a comedian that gets up in front of people,
like they were so proud of themselves for the worst jokes.
You know what I mean?
Let's get into some examples.
This is an example of somebody throwing in
one of the phrases that's on their card
that they have to say.
And when I hear this, I go, well, wait a second, is no one know the rules of this game?
Is it only me? How was no one calling them on this?
What do you guys think of Tinder? Have you heard mixed things about it?
Uh, sponsored by Lego Sex Toys.
Sponsored by Lego Sex Toys.
So, when the guy yells Sponsored by Lego Sex Toys, that makes zero sense. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. to set up that aren't there. Right. And then they can't differentiate between when it's real or not.
That's a good point.
Legosex toy could possibly be a decent punchline.
But the setup was all wrong.
You guys hear about this thing, Tinder?
Yeah.
We all heard it, Tinder.
And it still got a laugh.
That's a so fear of it.
And nobody said, do you have Legosex toys written
down on your piece of paper?
That's an obvious one.
These people were terrible at it.
Let's talk about how Dom Cathias,
because she seems to not understand
anything that we all know about pop culture.
For example,
depends on, you know, was it an enchiladas,
or was it Ben and Jerry's?
Yeah. Okay, I guess I'm surmising what Dutch oven means.
It's when you fart under the sheets
and it convectionally.
Oh, I did not.
They're both in the blanket, so she didn't know what a Dutch oven was.
Yeah.
They over-explained every joke.
Oh my God, yeah.
They started explaining that she was, oh, I think I'm getting what a Dutch oven is like,
well, it's when you fart under the sheets, you didn't know that.
Oh, that's that is.
And then later on, she doesn't know another thing that we all know about pop culture,
the term Butterface.
And this is where they're talking about reverse cowgirl
and how that phrase came about.
No, she was holding the rope and she got bucked around
so she was facing the other way
and all the cowboys realized, wow, you know,
this is a good idea.
This is another way to write.
It's like especially when you got a Butterface
that you're taking home.
I like it in many of your days. Yeah, you know. You know what I mean? This is another way to write. It's like especially when you got a butter face that you're taking home. I can't name it.
Yeah, you know.
You know what?
I can't name it.
Because they know what a butter face is.
Because they have butter-baths, then.
But her face.
She's got a great body butter face.
So you wanted to get on top of you,
but you wanted to face the other way.
Got it, got it.
Mm.
She's never heard the term butter face before. Yeah, but apparently you know, and it's weird because you think if she didn't hear that that she would think that that would be
Thing on someone's list. Yeah, right?
It's even be good at the game
She would think that oh that must be a thing that said you're last I've never heard of that before
Yeah, she has no idea how to play this game and we get her up to speed on things that we've all known about for fucking decades?
It's like they drugged a bunch of people, and then they woke up and had to do a podcast.
That might be funnier than this.
That would be funnier if they made it where you had to be blackmailed to be on the show, and then like...
So you would actually give a shit about doing well at the game?
I don't know.
I'm wondering though if there is an offshoot they could do where it's just explaining things
we all know about to Kathy.
Right.
So we sit down and we go, Kathy, you heard of a Blump game?
She's like, what?
I don't know.
If you heard of a Houdini.
Do you know what the Houdini is?
I have no idea.
They blink and I've never heard of such a thing.
That could be a fun show.
That would be a fun show because then at least you would,
you know, there'd be comedy beacuse.
She's so fucking out of it.
And she plays the game terribly.
So I mentioned that they have to say these phrases.
And the whole point is that they want to work it
into conversations so you don't realize
that they're saying the phrase,
and maybe a talented comedian could do this.
Kathy is not one of those people.
So if you wanted to get on top of you,
but you wanted to face the other way.
Got it, got it.
Eat all the French fries.
What?
Oh, the French fries.
I'm gonna go for it.
Is that on your list?
Yes.
That's the second thing.
I didn't edit that in any way.
They're explaining reverse cow girl.
They're explaining what butter face means.
And it should go eat all the front.
Kathy, why are you here?
Who are these people?
Who asked you to show up to this fucking thing?
Who are these people?
What do they come from?
I was talking about shitty these people are because they get into, right the back.
This is a show that Justin and I listen to it's about relationships.
Yeah.
That's the overarching topic of this show.
So they start off right away getting into because this is a comedy show, we got to talk
about toxic masculinity.
Right.
Very important topic for comedy shows.
Let's get the wheels moving.
Let's get people.
Let's get the gear turning. Let's get people, let's get the gear turning.
Let's start making jokes, people.
I'm about this.
Men suck, go.
All right, let's do the introduction to that.
And this is awesome because you know
that they're gonna steer right into comedy.
I think that if men try to tune into it, they can.
But if they ignore it, then it doesn't come out.
And I think it's more socialization than me.
Oh good, we're talking about toxic masculinity
right off the bat.
That's awesome.
So the buddy, he says that.
Yeah.
And I thought he was being sarcastic.
Me too.
What do you say?
He goes, oh great.
dummy, this is a comedy show.
Right, like this is the bad topic.
So then this is the exact thing that says after that.
Oh good. We're talking about toxic masculinity right off the bat.
That's awesome. We should totally do that.
Okay.
Because that is a huge problem that a lot of men have is where they feel like they
shouldn't bring out their emotions because they think it makes them less of a man.
Yes, that's true.
Which is a big old problem because then that like distance to them from not only their
female friends but also their male friends and they don't form you know emotional connections
to anyone really.
Yeah, it makes them isolated.
This is an improv game.
That's how it shows stars.
This is a comedy improv.
Comedy improv game starts and listen, these guys are fucking assholes.
You're not a fan of these men who are talking right here.
But women mock this whole thing up.
There's no way these guys are going to start talking about toxic masculinity
if there weren't women sitting in there going.
Right, oh yeah.
Judging them like, oh yeah.
And what else do you guys do wrong?
Wow, we don't deal with our feelings, well.
And, you know, I just, I don't give enough back massages.
And, you know what it kind of makes me think that it might be,
is like, they all just give their first names, right?
And they're all kind of stupid.
Maybe they just gathered up a bunch of people
from like an AA meeting and like, tricked them into doing
a podcast, and that's like, there's a bunch of like, booze that they're gonna tricked them into doing a podcast. That's a big sense.
There's a bunch of like booze that they're gonna give them right at the end of it.
I think it was already laying here used to say go to an AA meeting like this place would
have been fucking awesome 10 years ago.
This would have been a killer party.
In the pod these guys I bet 10 years ago this podcast.
Right, these guys have been a lot of fun.
10 years ago.
It's just sober knobs.
You're gonna improv.
All right, so this is part three
of the toxic masculinity saga that I put together.
And what I love about this is one of the guys,
and there's 18 guys here, tries to turn this into comedy,
fails miserably, but tries to turn it into comedy.
Yeah, makes them isolated.
I show emotions all the time.
They just tend to come out the other end.
I thought that was just a sign.
And appreciate it as a sign.
I fart when I'm happy.
I just totally wait to tell.
It's not a real, it's not a real unless someone's farting.
There's been no laughs! What are we talking about here?
That guy, that's the radio DJ guy.
It's like a Larry the Cable guy with a radio DJ.
Or he's just like fart.
Yeah, by right people.
And they're all trying to help him out.
Where what they should do is just go, no.
That's not, come on, man.
That's not the joke.
He's talking about.
And I want to point out that the fart jokes don't end there.
No.
They revisit them with the Dutch oven shit later.
The most contributing factor to those statistics of how soon people get divorced depends on the frequency or how soon after
you get married are the Dutch ovens.
Wow, I thought that was really...
Wow, I think that's it.
...between the Dutch ovens.
Especially in during the winter.
During the summer it's so...
Kishinaa is so warm.
Exactly.
It makes me so angry, Carl.
It's an angry podcast because they're trying to be funny and they're so bad at it
You can't just say punchlines like when they don't fit
Hey guys, what about Dutch ovens? Yes, especially the summertime what
It's like well, why are you trying to tag that joke? It wasn't a joke. That's what they do
They tag they tag it 18 fucking times.
Every single thing someone says gets one into the ground.
So the other way around.
You're fulfilling our emotional whole
and we're fulfilling with our whole, your emotional staff.
We are fulfilling our own thing.
We are fulfilling your emotional gaps, recipe.
All are fulfilled.
We can consider it the emotional wet spot.
Oh.
It's like if a bunch of billionaires that were surrounded by
Yes, men all the time started an improv troupe, you know,
and they just don't understand that they're...
Like, there needs to be so into tell them that they suck, Harold.
Right.
I don't...
It's the problem with the Trump presidency.
This guy has never been told that what he says is moronic.
So he just keeps talking.
It's ridiculous.
It's like, I understand how you're laughing at your own jokes here.
Like just, it's, I'm at a loss of words, Carl.
I don't know.
So the guy says it's an emotional wet spot
and people start laughing at that.
We can consider it the emotional wet spot.
Oh!
That's kind of gross, Rod.
Laundry day!
Let's have the go with the wet spot.
Let it when it's on the pillow.
You know, tap.
Well, you can always flip it over.
There's the eternal argument, the wet spot. Where it over. It is the eternal argument that what's...
Where it is?
That's why.
That's why.
That's why...
That's why...
Multiple pillows.
That's why.
Actually, we...
We can't add deer tibers.
We have to have beaver stew.
I just...
Beaver stew.
They're happier than I've ever been
And they shouldn't be there's nothing to be happy about if I put this on
Losers doing a shitty pocket. They should be depressed about it, but this isn't popular though, right? No, it's okay
Did you imagine I was just like look at the big a 25-grader?
I'm a teacher. Oh my god. That would be rough. It might kill myself if that was the case
So this is interesting because the guy says emotional
what spot they run that premise into the ground as they do and you heard a bunch of
things come out there where it's obvious they had to use these words. What spot
happens to be one of the words that the guy has to use. Yeah. He even comes back to it
way later on in the show where it again makes zero sound.
Not even so much what it is that's on or what you're listening to or whatever.
So many couples do not agree.
It's the audio sweat spot.
Yeah, they don't agree in how loud it should be.
Should it be quiet?
It's the audio wet spot.
The guy keeps yelling it over and over again.
Is nobody paying attention to the rules of this game?
Is someone gonna call him out of this?
I feel like someone should hurt them or like, please.
It's not where I was gonna go with that, but fair enough.
I do want to point out, I'm not a fan of just yelling out the word wet spot and saying
that that's a joke or a comedy however I used to play in this band called Angel
Dustin Hoffman and we wrote a song that was called Slump Buster was about
hook it up with a fat chick and the chorus did mention this So funny when it's a punk rock chorus not so funny when it's an improv podcast.
I guess it's what I'm trying to say.
Well at least you also didn't have like four different fucking lines with wet spot.
You just have to open line.
No, just just one thing that we're just trying to drive home.
Just a very specific point.
I'll play the whole song at the end of the show.
I never do that and I should more often.
Why not?
Yeah, totally.
Angel doesn't happen with actually crows playing bass in that band.
So fans of W-A-T-P will know who the fuck is doing things and stuff. Let's talk about more of the woke talk that's going on.
Because that's what you want in improv game.
Right! Like, let's also solve all of the problems with society at the same time.
Okay, really? Is that what we're going to do?
This is talk about how the divide between the sexes where men are trying to have sex and women are not supposed to have sex and it's just a problem with society.
I don't know if you knew that.
That's good.
It's just like society has put this stigma on women that sex is bad.
Oh yeah.
But also put this thing on men that sex is good.
So it's like either for men to win, women have to lose.
That's kind of a messed up thing to think about right.
These are the young boys that are growing up now, man.
I love it. I love it, man.
Dean, you're a cool dude.
Oh, thanks. I try.
I think young men these days are much better when it comes to relationships.
They're much more caring people.
They care about the earth.
No, and they really want to make a difference. It's taken me 10 years of marriage to figure out when it comes to relationships, they're much more caring people. They care about the earth.
No, and they really want to make a difference.
And it's taken me 10 years of marriage to figure out
that I never knew how to listen properly.
Oh, so she's got lost in her own wok talk.
Because she's like, men today, they care about the earth.
It's a weird connection.
Like, I understand how recycling makes you not an abusive partner.
I don't understand that.
The officer, officer, sure I have a black eye,
but his carbon footprint is so low, right?
How could he be a bag?
He parpools to work for Christ sake.
And throw him in jail just for beating me.
What's the problem here?
Did you see him separate the plastics from the glass?
This guy's amazing. Empty's the milk before he throws you see him separate the plastics from the glass? This guy's amazing.
He empties the milk before he throws it away. Who does that?
This is not the curtain. This guy's amazing.
So this is really fucking annoying because you can't mix this stupid
woke talk with comedy. It just never, never works.
And the guy says at the end there, you know, I learned from 10 years of marriage.
It's all about the story. So here's more of that fucking nonsense.
Is all you need is acknowledgement and genuine listening to whatever the problem is and
a recognition that whatever the situation is.
You know, like a human being sucks, right? And that's really all you need instead of some
sort of solution. And it's literally taken me.
My entire, um, very life to figure that out.
So the show turns into Dr. Phil for some reason. Now you see what you need here. Just need to listen to your wife.
Okay, you don't got to solve her problems. It turns into this fucking ridiculous nonsense.
Like, we try to get like gold stars on your ditto and your homework
is what are you trying to accomplish here with this? It's a nasty podcast and instead the guys go
on after 10 years of marriage I learned what women need is they need to be listened to just
they don't want to hear about your opinion on it or how to solve the problem they just want to be
listened to right after that happens he cuts off the other woman and starts a man's play here This is not so many times
This is a rotary sense. You gotta listen to women my entire
Very life to figure that out
Well, it was and to learn to just be present to
She goes
The man talking
Oh The man talking the other things I've learned holy shit
Do you know I don't even play these games or I don't care if I cut somebody off
But if you're gonna play that fucking game then you gotta stay in your lane there dummy or at least try
So they're bad if you're like if there's one thing that I've learned, it's to always ask a woman for consent.
And you just immediately rape somebody.
Yeah, this is grabbing your tent.
It's like, whoa, what just happened here is like, shut up.
Shut up, messy.
Your tent's like, fine.
Oh, I love when people shit on each other's points, too.
This is one of my favorite things with any type of podcast or improv. Think
about how improv works. Justin, I know you do stand up. I don't know if you ever done
improv. I do. Yeah. Okay. So the whole point is somebody throws a promise out there. You
got to roll with it. Yes, and shit. I got so much point. It's an end to everything. It
causes problems. You can't go on Tinder and expect to find a meaningful relationship on it.
That's not gonna happen.
I know there's some people who think it's gonna happen, trust me, it's not gonna happen.
You're just gonna have a quick hook up.
That's all you get from Tinder.
But it seems to be.
I know one person that got married from a Tinder date.
From a Tinder date.
I mean, that should yourself, dummy.
We're talking about how Tinder is not for long-term relationships.
I know one person.
Yeah, I mean three of my friends are happy married with families.
Do you believe broken, crack-addicted friend of mine?
I just love this shooting on points.
These people have no idea how to put together an improv comedy show.
And they're actually better at it now than they used to be.
I went back and listened to earlier episodes.
Did you know, Josh, I don't know what you homework
you put into this.
I didn't know that.
Did you know that these fucking nerds used to do this
while playing Dungeons & Dragons?
So we listened to it episode where there were
discussing relationships, which was awful to listen to.
Imagine that they're doing the same thing
or they're trying to get points
and she weren't in nonsense,
but they're also playing Dungeons and Dragons.
It would sound a little something like, oh this.
You do that, it makes it through,
but you hit Korean in the head.
Ouch.
Oh man.
Korean takes two damage.
Damage.
Two damage, well I threw it hard.
Yeah.
You're dead near.
A bunch of god damn nice two damage. You were supposed threw it hard. You dad knew. A bunch of goddamn nerds.
You were supposed to cast that.
Let's get those nerds.
Get the figures.
Get in the back of the way.
But you have the rope now.
What would you want to do with the rope?
Hopefully hang yourself.
You have the rope.
What do you want to do?
Can you do that, D&D?
Can you just kill yourself?
You get a rope for it.
You get a rope.
If you get a 13-er-abombed roll to kill yourself. Should gotta roll for it. You gotta roll. If you get a 13 or above, roll the kill yourself.
Should be the name of this episode.
Nonsense!
They're just rolling fucking dice.
Okay, you got 20.
This is another clip from that where they're playing D&D.
And I never play D&D.
It's not my thing.
Maybe you have.
I don't know.
I don't want to judge it.
Right, right.
But the dungeon master in these games, and I only know this because I watch Stranger Things,
the dungeon master gets really into the character and tries to make this exciting.
So even starts explaining what the monster is doing.
It's one eye opens and then of a monstrous mouth.
It's like, really?
Oh, I really have really picture from it kind of like is the mouth is kind of sticking out a bit and there's sharp teeth and it's going
Not my long story. Throw it rock in the mouth
It's really like a eight year old
The monsters mouth and and it had teeth and it...
It's important it was here to be like, what are we ate?
You're playing D&D with your friends when you're seven.
You're putting out a podcast with us.
What are they doing?
And why would you do a game?
You don't imagine improv game while you're playing another game.
You imagine the episode you're playing another game. You imagine the episode that you and I listen to wasn't even the worst thing that they
done.
Is that unbelievable?
That's amazing.
It's actually way worse than you go back to earlier episodes.
They've got their tremendous now compared to what they used to be.
Let's talk about bombing.
So they talked about this Tinder thing and the person opens it up.
Oh, I don't get this Tinder thing and the person opens it up, oh, you know, I don't get this
Tinder thing. It's just for hooking up. And this guy throws out a joke that is terrible. Doesn't make any sense.
But they all try to recover from it. And this is the thing that I love about Jim Norton when he got on ONA.
Yeah. Is he let bombs just rust and let you wallow in it. Yeah. Yeah Like that sucked. I want you to think about what you did
and come back better tomorrow.
Instead of trying to fix it.
You know, there's so many different flavors
of individual that it's really just a crap shoot,
you know, when you're going on one of these sites.
Like I've taken a couple of girls out to dinner.
I don't know you were into that kind of stuff.
Crap shooting?
Something about a Tinder date and Crap shoot.
I don't know.
Okay, put the bowl back in.
Thanks guys, really messy in my hand.
Joey likes to do upper jowies with his hands.
So, Joey will cut.
Fucking thanks.
Well, that's retarded.
Do you hear how many people try to tag that joke?
It's not even a joke
He just they just say words and try to like convince you to laugh by laughing at their own jokes
I've noticed that there's a lot of that going on. It's it I don't know it just makes me mad
It's like it's hard to it's hard to try to make fun of them because I'm so angry when I
Was helping you would have that.
It's like, it's like when you go to open mics and you just, you see people,
it's just they're bombing and they get off stage and are like,
oh man, I fucking crushed you.
You even know! You're not learning anything from this experience.
You gotta learn from this.
These guys should not feel good about what they've just put out.
Either they have like the the most
Horrifying parents that just like beat the shit out of them every day or they have the most over supportive parents
I can't tell their adults
You're assuming they're children because you should
Based on what they're putting out these are adults putting out a podcast. They're like married people
They have children of their own. Oh,, this should, it's funny how the shit
that used to be like blackmail for people
is what people in voluntarily will put out
into the internet nowadays.
That's a great point, you know what I mean?
People used to be embarrassed by this sort of thing.
Oh, I had a conversation with my wife
and our friends at the living room hole.
We shit, people heard that.
I sounded like an idiot like
No, they're putting on the internet with a description and an icon
And they have a problem to get on Twitter. I'm gonna buy a
What are you doing? It's like
Centering job like you're embarrassing yourself. Don't you understand what you're putting out there?
I always think about what people are gonna think like a thousand years from now or something when they look back at like the first stage of the internet.
Yeah.
Everybody just put everything out there and there's no filters.
Like I wonder if it's gonna come back around or if everybody is just, this is how people
are gonna be from now on.
There's just gonna be no shame in all of society.
You know that, I like to think that there will be a time when you have to have some type
of license in order to the podcast
Yeah, you have to be you had to some kind of like aptitude test or something to understand what the fuck you're doing before you just put it out on the internet Right when I went to here. I just I just feel like you have to do it live. I just want to see these people
Have to like listen to crickets after every single joke
Oh my god, that's just a brilliant idea.
I never even thought of this before.
Fourcing podcast, dude.
Could you imagine if we put out a WATP tour,
where we tricked people like this,
and it did do a theater show.
They don't know.
They don't know.
They don't know.
We're like, dude, there's 2,000 people.
They can't wait to hear the show.
Can you see you, the police?
I don't know.
We have many fans.
We got shamists up there.
And we just hand them different ways to kill themselves
We get off the stage
We just watch them bomb and that's the whole show and then we come on towards like all right things are going on everybody
That's the best idea for like population control that I've ever heard
Because everybody's got a fucking podcast so you just put them all on the biggest platform possible
And then backstage in the green room
There's this helium and nooses and fucking guns. Oh my god. We are on to something here
This is the greenest idea I've ever so we can't we can't put the nooses there
They have to already be there for some reason right just like leave them around yeah, there's like a loaded gun like
It's the weird like your honor. He had to open a locker to find
I mean there was an arrow pointing to it, but still there's an arrow that's a free drugs and money in the locker
But you know don't believe everything you see on the internet
Holy shit. We're on to something here cuz I would go to that show right everybody would go
Like the worst podcast ever made is gonna be recorded live at the Auditorium Theater.
Or, or, or, or, or, or kill.
And then the pod, and then you actually deserve
to have a podcast.
No, that won't happen.
That will, no, I've listened to one of these shows, Justin.
That will never happen.
These people show up with so much confidence
and they're undeprepared.
It's so upsetting, dude.
It's so upsetting.
It's a comic, comic dude as somebody who like
Afford entirely to put it to you and act to put on five fucking minutes
These people think they can just go and just talk about nothing for hours and people will just be enthralled by this
Conversation it's so frustrating. Wait until we get to the shaman section. It's like it's like the podcast today
It's like those strippers that are like the the CB level strippers. Yeah, they try to like convince you that they're hot by just like
Enjoying what they're doing way too much and you're just like oh my god. I hope your kids don't find out about this
That's a perfect analogy because what the problem is is that there's always someone who's a big enough loser
To give them positive reassurance
that they don't deserve.
Yeah.
So there's always that guy in the strip club
who thinks like, oh, I could probably sleep with that check.
I can't afford it.
You're gonna get me going on a rant for like an hour
because this is like the thing I hate the most
about people in general right now.
That's here.
Is everybody fucking is so,
if you're just a loser and you have nothing interesting to say,
then you just prop up all the other and you have nothing interesting to say then you just prop up all the other losers
That have nothing interesting to say because then you can identify with it. I'm talking about open mics
Okay, yeah, go ahead. I'm listening open mics Facebook, you know, fucking Instagram. It's metal shows
It's not it's just like it's so weird how we we just like glorify being bad at the mediocre
Yeah, like while you have a mediocre talent we just glorify being bad at things. Being mediocre. Yeah.
Like, while you have a mediocre talent,
let's get all your friends and family
to come watch you do it.
I can't believe you tried to get fame and glory.
How brave you are to try to get people to look at you
and tell you how great you are.
That's not brave, that's stupid.
Don't do that, stop doing that.
Get good at something first.
So murder show, murder wifi. See see I wasn't going with the people all and dead at the end
I'm hoping this be humiliating with stop podcasting but I'm okay with that. No, we gotta save the earth
Whichever because I don't know if you listen earlier, but the best people care about the earth
That's true and population control is the way to cut down on these green house
And Population Control is the way to cut down on these green house. Too many people man. Too many people. Holy shit.
We've gotten way off the rails. Let's come back.
This is another example of one of the jokes that they like to tell.
Somebody points out that power is an affradize yak.
So in other words, having a lot of authority.
Yeah, but the word power is used.
So obviously comedic minds can connect those dots
and turn them into a joke.
Henry Kissen first put it as saying that power
is the greatest affidavit.
Oh, yeah.
And so that's why the energizer buddies just swimming in it.
Well, I would say is it...
That is. The energizer bunny who was relevant 25 years ago is swimming in pussy
Because powers and affidizia. Yeah, it's pretty good premise. I mean it's honestly the best premise they've had
That bad all right, let's talk about these bluffs that they try.
I talked about the rules of the game
and they're yelling, what's bought?
Just nonsense.
And no one calls them on it.
So the one guy does get a bluff point
when, because this is just stupid.
This list game is sponsored by Kirkland Signature MSG Loos.
They're not shooting.
They're picking up in five gallon drums
that your local Costco comes in a big ol'
no, it's not even a squeeze bottle
It's a
No, no, it's a mini-cake
Yeah, Kathy so Kathy loses again because I must you Loub is not a thing. Yeah, it's
Because I must you, Luba's not a thing. Yeah.
It's, uh, obvious.
It's so weird, I mean.
You just, like, you'd think this would be so much more interesting
because they, you can't tell the difference between what they're saying
and what is and isn't real.
And it's still so bad.
It's still so bad.
It would be fun to, like, cuck them in a way where, like, you do have to force them
to have, like, really funny comics do this game and actually be good at it.
Yeah.
And, like, make them listen to it.
I can see this, yeah right, I can see this work.
I could, I could sit these guys down a golf.
You can't with a premise, it's not bad.
Yeah.
Here are people who are funny and can actually make it work.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna force you to listen to it
and then I want you to write an essay about why
this show is way better than your show.
I need it to be five thousand words.
Yeah, after every episode, the audience votes on whether or not they need to listen to another comic do it again.
This is the difference.
This is just me and you.
You want to punish people with death.
I'm like, no, you have to write an essay.
You have to feel ashamed.
Yeah, that we're both of the punishment.
There's a punishment for.
Something needs to happen to these people.
You can't just be allowed to do this.
I don't want their kids going up without a family. I just. Something needs to happen to these people. You can't just be allowed to do this.
I don't want their kids going up without a family.
I just want them to feel ashamed
and never go on the internet again.
Like I want them to be successful
just so that way they can be torn down.
There's a reason why your ISP
gives you 90% of your bandwidth for download
and 10% for upload.
You should not be uploading shit. Just enjoy the kind of put on Netflix, put on Amazon, just enjoy the content, the
talented people it may hire. You know what they fucking do, dude? You know that they
fucking go to like shows and stuff and they're like, oh well, you know, we're on a podcast
too. So like, maybe you guys want to talk about that? like oh my god I can I know these people so well nothing worse than that
Here's another thing that I want to point out and that is the editing that goes out of the show and normally
I'm all for editing. I'm a big fan of editing out nonsense
I don't want to hear you take a piss OP. I don't want to hear you take a shit during your podcast dog
But sometimes anything is very jarring whenever when you have eight people on the show
And they're all screaming and they're just a listen this jarring at it. I'm going to forget them
And have your significant other
Giant laugh, I think what's going fucking nuts and then it didn't even started a new sentence
It's like the middle of a sentence and that you like what wait what just wait till the life is done
This way. What the fuck just happened here?
Can you just recreate a laugh do something to make a scene? Here's another example of just really bad out of thing
All right you guys I'm ready to count up some points
Yes, yes, yes, I'm gonna go around the room to my
to count up some points. I know I did.
Yes.
Damn.
And I'm going to go around the room too, my stuff.
I think I didn't even finish the word dance.
Let's do.
Like, what are we?
Guys, can you edit this a little bit better?
You know what it is?
It's like that shitty anim, it's like the shitty amateur porn, but nobody's hot.
Yeah, that's what it is.
It's like shitty amateur porn.
I don't know.
Fuck, you get me going on shitty amateur porn, girl. but yeah, it's just like you you pick one or the other
Either be shitty at one thing and good at another, but like just have something
Can I can I say something about amateur porn real quick? I love it because now you just brought this up
The term milf has turned into something that it was never meant to be yeah
It's not just moms.
Like now they've just used milk for any type of mom who's getting fucked in a movie.
No, no, no, this is supposed to be like a hot mom.
It's a mom I would like to fuck.
So you're saying that we should upgrade the term?
Well, or stop using it.
Or stop using it.
Just put like ugly mom gets fucked.
Then I don't have to click on it.
Because I said stop fucking moms.
I'm sick of hearing about it.
I'm sick of it. Gross. I'm sick of hearing about it.
I'm gross.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
All right, I love this part of the show
because one of the guys who's on it is fat.
And you know they're good comedians
when somebody admits they're fat and everyone tries
to make them feel better about it.
That's what comedians do, right?
And then there was the other girl who said,
I'd totally go out with you if you were about 30 pounds lighter and
Yeah, I mean she's right, you know back when I was you know, you know, well, good. You got some about 60 pounds
Dude you are you
Have you ever hug out with your comedian friends bitch to boss? I was like dude just do you
Listen to that. Yeah, that was a man. You just do your your thing. You're good It's like it's a it's a hack joke and you still didn't see it coming
You're not even as good as hacks. No, you're not even a hack like at least a hack
It's last from somebody. Yeah, like it's just the point of being a hack committed. You can get last from somebody. And imagine any joke where someone's just like,
hey man, come on, you don't have to get down
on yourself like that.
All right, so I'm gonna play one more clip from the show.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna play a little game on my own here.
Justin, I want you to figure out
what was the phrase on this person's card?
All right, because no one on this show recognized it. Let's see if you can figure this out. Nobody on this show on this person's card? Alright, cause no one on this show recognized it.
Let's see if you can figure this out.
Nobody on this show called this person out, what you're supposed to do.
You're supposed to say,
Oh, you just chew on the thing, I bet this was on your card.
Let's see if you can figure this out.
If you're going to have one of those legendary surprise threesomes.
You know, surprise threesome.
Surprise threesome.
Yeah, obviously. Yeah, I think I was a legendary surprise threesome
That's not a thing. Yeah, that's not a thing we're talking about here
Like it's on your card. Oh, though the idea of like a surprise party where everybody sucks your dick would be pretty
Yeah, I mean, I'm like mom. It's okay
You're doing an okay job, but let's end have a turn
I mean I'm like mom it's okay. You're doing okay job, but let's have a turn grandma I'm fucking my farted grandma and out Liz travel to be here and you're hogging
Look at their depressing the corner they want to leave look how easy that was for us to make a riff on that
Carl
I go surprise three something like surprise three some hub moving on
I said the guy goes surprise three said the like surprise three so hot moving on
Tell me Call them out then riff
Fucking ridiculous. So anyway, it's like a portal
It's like a portal where they didn't realize they're supposed to fuck and they just delivered a pizza and
The chicks like laying on the couch. It's just like takes a nap. Oh
Just happen here.
You're supposed to, okay.
I'm enjoying the pizza.
Fucking idiots.
Oh, damn.
Anything else that you want to say about this show
before we move on to other topics?
I, the ATP.
It's, I don't even want to,
because it's just like, it's so aggravating to listen to,
that it's hard to come up with jokes about.
Which is weird as a comic because I look for that.
You know, you look, but in the moment of listening to that like that guy's voice.
It kind of depresses you a little bit.
It does.
Yeah, it's like you can't have fun with it.
Oh, you know what we should do.
What's that?
We should punish serial rapists by making them listen to this podcast and solitary confinement.
That's interesting.
For just hours and hours of time.
Okay, so now I'm with you because I think the death penalty
is a bad idea.
I think there's people who want to die.
Right.
So when you say, yeah, when you say like,
oh, you'll get the death penalty.
They're like, okay, whatever.
It's fine.
I mean, the chair, I want to die anyway.
But what if we got rid of the death penalty?
We're like, no, no, you have to listen to the list game
And and let me tell you there's only 45 episodes
So after the first day when you've listened to all of them you got to listen to all my dad and again and again and again
Where do you know what's my like five what's my call about what are you doing?
I give my last meal and everything
What's wrong? Come on, what are you doing?
He gave me a last meal and everything.
He's like, he's starting to get something there.
I think we're on to something there.
Guantanamo Bay is gonna have a new torture program.
The Guantanamo List game.
All right, I wanna talk about Stuttering John Melendez.
I put out a feeler out there.
I asked people to make parody songs for Stuttering John.
And we finally need to get to that
because that was a couple of weeks ago.
I wanna start off this segment.
Arty Lang was on the Grillo, Steve Grillo show.
Excel, what does it call a double Excel,
shock, Excel, shocker path.
Okay, I don't know, nobody knows if this guy-
Yeah, I'm not funny with this yet.
No one's ever heard of it. You know Arty Lang is. Yeah, yeah know. Nobody knows if this guy is coming. Yeah, I'm not familiar with this yet.
No one's ever heard of it.
You know, Arty Langan.
Yeah, yeah.
So this is already the new Arty.
Yeah.
He's sober now.
Deflated nose, Arty.
His nose is flat.
Against his face.
He looks so bizarre.
And he gets on with Steve Grillo
and they start talking shit about Stuttering John,
which always makes me happy.
You know, again, John and John John got me out of this analogy.
John is the reason we fought the Revolutionary War.
Never had someone done it so much with such little talent.
John is not a comedian.
He's played every club in the country.
John is not a musician.
He had a record deal.
John has a speech impediment.
He had the single most coveted voiceover job
in the history of television.
He was the endow, I mean, he's the reason America exists.
Yeah.
You know, so, so, so American dream.
He's also, he's also the biggest like hustler I've ever met.
He is.
He's also a conniver.
But when he got a conniver, when he got that job.
So, Arty's lays it out there and Arty knows that Arty and John very well.
Yeah.
They are or were friends.
And it's true.
So Arring John is a no-townland hack who is landing in a job he does not deserve.
And now he's pissed off that people think he's a talentless hack.
Even though he proves it three times a week on his podcast.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, I dislike this person as an individual but you've also explained like
300 comics however the only one who's threatening legal action against yours truly is that he's threatening legalizing it you
Yes, what a fucking he's such an asshole. This guy is a troll. That's what he does for it's what he's did for a living
Yeah, and I made fun of him on the Chip Chipperson show
and Anthony Cumia on this show.
And now he's like, oh, I'm gonna have my attorneys
reach out to you.
I'm like, wait, what?
That's what he know that you're not a hack when someone
makes fun of you and you sue them.
You fucking douchebag.
I hope you're listening to this.
You fucking douchebag pussy hacked dude.
Write a joke. Oh, but you can't cuz you're a hack right it said he just gets out of show
I don't say I don't say what this is but you know they don't they know who they are
Why they know they are my mate. That he's gonna be a touch all right?
So I asked people to write parody songs. I'm gonna play them in the order of
How much effort it took to make these songs.
Starting with Andy's brother Joe, he put together, so now, John is famous for his,
the tonight show audition tapes, when he introduces Nicholas Cage. He pronounces Nicholas' name using the N word sub because he's just socks of talking.
So here's what Joe put together. I'm gonna break my dreams, I'm gonna break my dreams
I'm gonna break my dreams, I'm gonna break my dreams
Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine
Nicholas Caine
Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine
Nicholas Caine
Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nicholas Caine Nick Here is another take on it. This is from Bryce Mehan, who sent in this parody.
And I always like when people make parody signs
and they take real audio and put it on top. He's obsessed with his own past. Get the Twitter views with friends. Get the ass kids my voice.
Sam, right.
He's a watch the loser with a flammy ass voice.
You know, don't worry.
You know, it isn't going to, you know.
He's an uncanny, accurate, straight, sad, and bitter.
Look out, boys are a block you want Twitter.
Ha, ha, ha.
Does that block them?
Oh, because that's what I do like.
It's my way of closure.
Hahaha.
Do you see that?
But there's a time back in what we were saying earlier.
I think that's so much of what it is.
It's just like people are afraid for whatever reason to like call out hacks because they're
hacks and they don't want to be called out themselves.
So now we have this weird culture where it's okay to be a hack.
No, it's fucking not.
It's not cool.
No one is enjoying that.
So anyway, Bryce, that was an awesome job.
It was great.
The next one that I want to play, this is a collaboration.
You know, like in pop music today, there's a lot of collaborations that happen between artists.
I love what happened here.
The Jingle's department from WATP,
collaborated with Stuttering John Melendez.
Oh, yeah.
To create this song. Carl tries to put me to the down
Because of my comedic competence and task
I'll be out of the town with you
The things he says are of gold
I've died before I got this old
I'm jabalendas
Stunnery j Melendez, baby.
Why did my career fade away?
I mean, voice laughs and everything I say.
My podcast is horrendous.
I'm just talking about me, Stunnery John Melendez.
I'm Stunnery John Melendez, baby.
Stunnery John Melendez.
It's the best song you recorded in this entire career.
So fucking good.
That's where it's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right. It's all right a drunk burping, barfing, Rick.
All right, last parody song, and we really appreciate the participation of
everybody. This one came in from Jackie Marlow, who has contributed the show
before, and I'm crowning this the one that took the most effort to make.
the one that took the most effort to make. ["The Most Facts of the World"]
John Melendez is a talentless hack.
He over-achieved in life.
It's wildly impressive that this stuttering buffoon
was able to be this big character on how it's turned show
and then an answer on the tonight's show.
It's remarkable. But the sad thing is that it's
left him delusional and bitter. Breaking Wakes, legal threats, don't have 50
subscribers yet. Got a ton of these on every list, but I can't handle a podcast
roast. Such old movies are such a bore. Failed upwards till 2004. Already
things in my comedy shit, but he never saw my high school skin. And you know I was making a room like the first sketch you junior high and...
On channel 9 I watched a wacky reading lines from Fred and Jackie but now they're gone and so is my stutter and so is my relevance.
Following star, what was me fading out on Riyadee so I pranked Trump just in time but didn't have a punch line.
I need more subscribers.
I still think I'm famous, but I'm a part with Shameless.
I need more subscribers.
Lenny, what we're gonna do, what we talk about.
This dummy who stutters, that's why he's famous.
And unfortunately, J. Leno hired him for a job he wasn't qualified for, and now he's
delusional.
I know it's hard for some Stern fans to swallow, to think that maybe I do have talent,
but I do.
I'm sorry.
What?
The sharpest drop-off since fucking Bitcoin.
Well done, Jackie Marlow, that was fantastic.
Well done, dude, I'm impressed with your fans as comedy IQ to be honest.
I know, there are a lot of good references in there.
References to our show, references to his show.
And I do like the listener-supported content.
So thank you very much for that.
I love it.
I love the line where it's just like,, I hate to tell you but I do have talent
You know who never says they have talent people with fucking talent
It's like it's like when you fucking you walk into the fucking bar
This dudes pissing his pants in the fucking corner and he's yelling at you about how he's not drunk like
Nobody that's sober talks about not
being drunk you don't go to work and you're like oh hey I gotta take a piss by the way I'm not
fucking drunk no dude you fucking suck man you Dave should tell this I have to talk about how much
talent he had no I've never seen the first 20 minutes of his routine being about guys I'm a
really funny comedian I just want to set this up I wrote I spent a lot of time on these jokes
really funny this is what's starting John devoting entire podcast episodes to
how funny and talented he is people don't understand this but I'm really
talented John just fucking prove it yeah just show some evidence of it and then
people will like it's all takes something thanks. It's not that complicated.
Oh man.
I love it.
I, uh, so much fun.
I hope he's so mad.
I, I, you're fucking douche if you're listening to.
All right.
So in that show, they reference that John is pretty much
on par with Shamus.
And of course, we're talking about Shamus McKillian,
AKA Patrick Michael, AKA Todd. And are you familiar with this guy at all?
We just said no. So this guy has over 20 podcasts. Jesus Christ. He creates every 20 podcasts.
Each of them is worse than the next. They're all just the worst podcasts you've ever heard in your
life. Who is this guy? And what is he from? He just does a show. He does a show called Shoot Gum that we reviewed. Okay, okay, okay. And then we went ahead and
this is controversial. But I told our listeners to go ahead and give them five
stars on iTunes, but then tell them how they really feel about it. Right.
Review. So it's like, yeah, that's fair. It totally fucked up his head. He could
figure out why people would do this hilarious. And he's still reeling from it.
So there's a guy convincing a girl that goes suck somebody's dick, but then like tell
them like how fucking ugly they are or something.
And say, well, what?
Yeah, it's just it's cognitive dissonance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It doesn't compute.
Wait, wait, what?
I mean, you gave me five stars, but you think I suck, but wait, what's going on here?
I give it.
Yeah.
All right. So our buddy Matt Lewinsky, who we've talked about before, he's, what's going on here? I give it. All right, so our buddy, Matt Lewinsky,
who we've talked about before,
he's at podcast hitman on Twitter.
He has been DMing me all week with timestamps
for different shows that Shayne is puts out.
This first one is one flew over the nest.
And episode number five, Night Owl Thoughts, because one of the
production companies that this guy thinks he has is called Night Owl.
Okay.
I can't even explain this to you.
It's too fucking crazy.
Like, it would sound like I'm making this shit up.
I'm not.
This is real.
It sounds like Elon Musk's first Myspace page.
So this is him talking about that there's no prep work done for his
show. He doesn't have anything in front of him. It's only going to improve. That's
what makes me so excited about it. Like I don't really have any taken front of me
as usual on these episodes. Don't have any topics I guess you'd say other than
the fact that you know I'm just gonna go. I'm gonna talk
Hey, you don't like it man. You know, there's always other podcasts that you can listen to that you know sit down and research everything and
It's a blast
What I look that's that's this show right out of the gate and start talking about that
I love anything who someone has a podcast and they go listen if you don't like it
That you go listen to something else like who does that?
I just like got to go to a girl in a bar and just like hey listen if you want to talk to a guy who has a job or a big dick
Or you know, you can make your laugh. There's no other guys out there
Yeah, if you want that then go to any other guy if you want to buy me a drink
So and come immediately when we say
he's sex I'm gonna be doing this for a long time. He's literally looking for an
audience that wants to settle. Yeah they don't have to settle. There's other shows
out there that can listen to. Yeah he's selling himself as a settle. Speaking of
which so this is going to his ginger snap show and he's talking about the reviews
that he's been getting on his shows and he's freaking out and one of the reviews with
somebody talking about how he's cussing on his show and again, he's not understanding
who we're fucking with.
So, it's a computers brain.
This is so funny.
And one of the ladies I think again was saying something about cussing, like cursing.
I'm not allowed to cuss in my podcast.
Like guys, we're adults here.
If you're listening to a podcast with an adult host who is also a comedian, you're going
to get jokes, you're going to get foul language, and it's going to be a little bit strange.
Comes with the territory, man.
You should have knew that when you got into this, okay? I don what kind of yeah I'm not Joe Rogan you know it makes me the
most mad about this guy is not not even that he sucks but the fact that I'm gonna have to dedicate
at least a weekend to giving him bad comments just to fuck with his head. It's so much fun.
It is so much fun. He talks about his reviews non-stop. He can't get enough of that. He's like
like super personal though. He's like you know you talk about this shit all the time and you
wonder why your fucking parents got to work. Just trying to fuck with his personal.
People do that to me, they don't know what to do about it.
So let's get into him talking about reviews again, because we've already documented this.
This is him on the Ginger Snap show.
This is episode number 27.
And he has another show that's about a true crime show that he does.
Yeah.
That's his most popular show.
This is the guy with 20 podcasts, right? Yeah, he's over 20's podcasts. Some more movie reviews,
some of them are, you know, it's all over the, when you're in such demand, you know,
people just need the content. He's got to put it out. All right, so this is him talking about,
he's very excited because he has 22 reviews of his true crime show. And I looked at today and I
have 22 reviews, which isn't a lot, but it's more than I had before.
And one of the best parts is I've gotten some really good feedback.
People seem to like what I do over there.
And there is still those few that demon necessary to tell me how bad the show is.
So this guy is obsessed with reviews,
but he hates it when someone gives him a port review.
He's like, why the fuck, why the fuck are you even doing that?
You know what you are, man?
You're like those reality show producers
where you just like give these idiots a bunch of drugs
and you tell them lies about like what other people
have been saying about them.
And then they're unintentionally the funniest people
that you've ever fucking seen.
You're a terrible person. You fucking seen. You're terrible person.
I'm terrible person.
I think it's sociopathic. You're the second cost in a wallet to point this out.
I love it. I'm not mad at you.
Made him said the same thing.
You're the second one of the row to be like, you know what? Just really nice.
You're a terrible fucking person.
That is so weird.
We're doing it here.
I've laughed pretty hard today. You know what, just really, you're a terrible fucking person. Yeah, it's over here.
I've laughed pretty hard today.
So this is, I got you, talking about his American Crimes show
and how it's his best show.
American Crimes is easily one of my best shows,
if not the best show.
I'm not saying that personally,
because I think it's a great show.
It's just doing the best.
It has the best numbers overall.
In comparison to any other podcast I host, I can post one episode and within the first
19 hours I'm over 100 downloads, which is an amazing thing for an independent podcaster
doing a true crime podcast that he never thought was going to go anywhere.
So I love that he has to couch this by saying,
look at that's an amazing $100.19.
I was 19 hours.
I would have commented and make him feel bad about his success.
He's like, well, you're gonna brag about all your downloads.
I got 10 downloads.
$100, 19 hours.
But you have to understand though, Justin,
that he's independent.
He's mentally retarded. He just reads the internet and calls a content as equipment sucks. Look, it's understandable. All these other factors involved. That's an impressive
number. That's what's gonna happen, dude. What's gonna, you're gonna, the one's gonna take you down,
is you're gonna end up, you're gonna be doing this for so long that you're gonna be jaded. You're
gonna think everybody's retarded and then you're gonna come again So many that's actually retarded and you're gonna rip into this so hard
You're gonna be like a cover of like a news article. Oh, I can able is
All right, this is again, there was a woman who didn't like his American crimes podcast
So shames has some choice words for her
So I checked the reviews man people This one lady said that I was whack.
What are you expecting from my show?
That's why I show I'm going to do it my way.
And you can either like it or not.
You don't have to tell me that you like it.
Just go away.
You're not going to go up to a thing of a fruit vendor and see that he has one bad apple out of all the bad apples and
then tell him that that bad apple is what identifies his entire food his
entire you know fruit medley if you will wait a second all right so that was
retarded obviously but I'm
potentially funny yeah I know I can listen to Skyl Day, he's amazing.
He's like, he's like Andy Kaufman,
but unintentionally, he's like an anti-joke,
but he's not trying to do the anti-joke.
So he goes up and he says,
this one would give me a bad review.
Like, I don't need to hear that.
You wouldn't go up to a fruit vendor
and say that's a rotten apple.
Yes!
You would!
If someone's here to tell you a rotten apple,
you would definitely complain about that.
That's the reason for complaining.
Literally a phrase, Kyle.
It's like, what is this?
Like the-
What bad apple's supposed to hold on?
That's the fucking point!
You can't have a rotten apple with all the other fruit, you fucking idiot!
You wouldn't go up to a child molester.
And you think one child that got molested is what signifies you as an entire molester?
I'm an engineer. I'm a father. What the fuck?
One goes.
It's the old joke. Okay. This is amazing and this is again, Met Lewinsky gave me all of this information.
So I'm just getting this from Matt. I gotta start listening to this guy's shows because they're fascinating.
Right. But Matt sent this in. He admits that he has no friends
But he does it in the most shameless way possible. It's great
And I actually sketched and this is going back to the one flew over the nut show
Which I didn't even know existed. This is episode number five and I actually sketched the cover art
I went out of my way and made the music and that's all. That all
takes so much time dude. And I think it goes unrecognized because I feel like
most people assume that if you have a podcast you have people that help you.
You have some sort of like a team or even just one friend or whatever that
might help you create the show and that's not my case. I'm not one of those
fellows. He doesn't have one friend. He could help with the show and that's not my case. I'm not one of those fellas. He doesn't have one friend you can help with the show.
I think most people assume that they have one friend.
Yeah, it's called a co-host.
Yeah, or possibly multiple co-host.
We used to do a show where all these assholes had friends.
Man, this guy, I keep going back and forth
from like feeling bad and then also just being like,
it's too funny to not continue to make him feel bad.
This is the thing that I struggle with because
people are saying we should only listen to shame us and talk about it all day long.
And those people will say it's pretty good.
This guy's out of the edge.
Yeah, we should probably just leave him alone.
I struggle with this.
It's tough.
I don't know man.
I feel like you gotta keep, is he aware of this show or no?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
He's not.
He is not happy with us.
Yo, what up?
Shame he's like something asshole
He might be right. You might be right about that. Well, I mean dude good on you for continuing on
I suppose because this is hilarious
You know what he does this is what he does if we make fun of this show and they get negative reviews
He puts out even more episodes. He dropped three episodes. Jesus' staff at the same day. Take that ass hole. Okay. I mean, you
realize, you're gonna get more than jogging back. Dude, Justin, he
literally, it's like, it's like if you're getting bullied in
school, and they're taking your lunch money, you're like, I'll show
you motherfuckers. I'm gonna bring in $20 to my
He's the best I love this guy
He is just you know what you know what he said on a podcast recently? We couldn't possibly review all of his podcasts.
Like dude, why would you say that? Of course I can!
You couldn't possibly steal all the money. I got so much money, you couldn't even take it all.
Sure, I don't have any guns or way to stop you.
He is like a podcast host, Cuck.
He wants to watch! Oh my He is he wants to watch us
Fuck his podcast in front of him and I like it's getting off of it. It's a slutty podcast
I'm not against fucking it like it's a hot podcast to fuck the shit out of this podcast
You can watch from the quarter. It's fine. You don't have to I mean maybe unless you want to get mad if that gets you off
This is fine, you don't have to, I mean, maybe unless you want to get mad if that gets you off hard. Right?
Alright, a couple more clips real quick.
This is from ginger sat number 26, and sheamus brags about being a really good swimmer in
Heist.
This almost goes back to settering job level.
Shit.
Which, I don't know about you.
I'm a little bit older than you are, I think.
Yeah.
I've never talked about Heist School by podcast.
Oh, no.
It's the furthest thing for my mind at all times.
Yeah.
I don't care what happened to high school.
Nothing's impressive.
Well, I was a fucking loser in high school.
Yeah, even if I wasn't.
I grout you right.
You know, I was the captain of the football team.
I wouldn't be talking about it now.
Yeah, but this guy's very proud of himself.
Every time I move schools, dude, this is weird.
Every time that I went to a new school, I Ended up going to like gym class
During the swimming season like they were taking them to a pool and teaching them how to swim
So I got taught how to swim like I don't know four times
For an entire semester. Oh, got a swim again. Great. I love taking my shirt off
Loved it. Oh, fuck no, it was awful.
But of course, I became a good swimmer
because I already learned the first two times.
So the next two times I ended up having to do it,
it was literally just me swimming.
Oh, I have to do a, you know, a breaststroke
for a 100 meters.
No sweat.
I got it.
This guy did a 100 meter breaststroke and he can't shut up about it.
All right.
No, fucking sweat
You fucking pussy sweat these breaststrokes not this fucking guy not shameless holy shit. He's so unintentionally hilarious
I know oh man, I cleared his show the most capable show ever. Yeah, there's no sentence
He says that I'm not like oh, I should probably talk about it
I got to play that on my board figure out what he's talking about last clip
This came right after his bragging about what a great swimmer is because he had a swim all the time
He talks about typing class and that's also happened to me in typing class
Hey, did that class so much hated the teacher. She was a real ass and I purposely did not do well
I just a quick reminder. We're talking about high school
You know he is he's like the bane of mediocre activities
He's like you think that the water gives you an advantage. I was born in swimming class
It shaped me I could type
It shaped me. I could type it. We have to move to mid-autumn.
What's he talking about?
Alright, getting back to it.
And I made a fool myself the entire class and eventually got put into another like classroom
by myself and had to go all the way back through the entire class.
You know, whatever it's called.
Typing whole class.
Typing class.
Whatever it's called.
Moving ahead. Still allping, all class. Whatever it's called. Moving ahead.
It's called Typing.
Still all in the same class.
I'm just starting from the beginning
and there somewhere else.
I have to catch up.
So I got good at typing.
That's dumb.
And every time I seem to get good at something,
it's because it's a punishment.
Like something I don't want to do.
And I'm forced to do it over and over many times.
And here I am.
Podcasting.
Don't want to do it. And now I'm just great at it.
Yeah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Yeah!
No, fucking way!
That would be great though, like, I love the idea of like,
he's being punished by having to do these podcast.
And it's like, he's like, step-doin like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, best podcaster in like 30 years because he's clearly never gonna move out of the stepdad
He lives in a trailer so oh man, you keep going back and forth on him
You don't know the background of this guy. He lives in a trailer. Do you heard his his baby crying in the background that last?
Listen to this. I can't make this shit up. It's amazing. He's a stay-at-home dad
His what his girlfriend. That is wife his girlfriend works. He's a stay-at-home dad
And he's got little babies in his trailer that he lives in oh man. This is all true
And he brags about he's like why don't you fight a girl who can support you? I got this all figured out
Can you imagine there argument?
He's like babe
87 downloses
I paid our rent
I paid our child
pay for
pay for the electric bills
seven months
yeah but babe 86 downloses
in 19
90 hours 3.7 hours an hour, babe. I read Wikipedia pages better than anyone else on the internet
All right, it's time for everyone's favorite segment. That's not their favorite segment with their second favorite segment
the week
This cringe of the week was sent in.
Let me pull it up right here from Paul Guck.
I just friended Paul Guck on Facebook.
Oh, good.
Paul Guck, it's your funny, so funny.
Can you be serious?
He's sort of got it.
He's sort of got it.
He fucking messes me.
I put this video up on the Legion's Skanks group.
Fucking thing. I got a bunch of views.
And then I saw him and dude, that's so weird.
You get out of this now, that's weird.
That's a weird coincidence.
So Paul Guck is listening to the newest chip episode.
And there's this prostitute on the show with Chip.
And you know, I'm a big fan of the Chip Chippers
and Pada Caste.
And I don't make any excuses for it. I know it's not fun to listen to if you don't
understand all the backstory and the ONA bullshit but he says you got to
listen to this prostitute talking about her John who couldn't get it up and
the vocal fry that ensues after this so So let's I got to pull up here on YouTube. Let's check it out
He couldn't get it up actually last night
My son or bastard. He's always been able to get it up. You know, he's like in the 70s and I mean
You should just jingle a charm brace the pie's head
I think you have to pay if they don't get it up, right? Oh, he's paying.
Oh, leave me.
Just making sure.
I mean, I'm in New York from LA.
I mean, wait, what'd you try to do to get him hard?
Oh, it's just, you know, my, my, my, my oral is pretty good.
I suck a great dick.
OK, that helps.
You did save that, actually.
Yeah, but you said no harder.
And I know you like a good, I know this guy, Anthony,
you like ball support. I do get up under the perineum, and that's great for older guys. You know, it's part of your career. I know this guy Anthony, you like ball support.
I do get up under the perineum and that's great for older guys.
You know, you want to get up in.
I can see why this guy wouldn't be able to get it up.
There's like, we do it being 70.
There's like three things here.
There's first of all, how casually she dropped that he was 70 years old.
It was a little bothering.
Oh yeah, you're probably really happy first and that sounds good.
He was 70 so, but.
Yeah. That is so old.
But the other thing too is like the thing that,
I don't know why every girl believes
when a guy tells them that they're good at sucking dick,
because nobody's gonna tell you that you're bad at sucking.
I've never once said, you're a C-plus at bass on it.
Every girl's the best I've ever had.
The best I've ever had.
Or you ignore the balls. That's amazing
Never once if I had a blowjob, I'm like I can't believe you embraced my perineum
Like it thrown college words around
Remember when I was little fry maybe it was very I'm not? I don't know, I'd have to listen to it again, it doesn't matter. I like that. I like that about you.
There's three things I want to say about this bitch.
She sucks.
Sorry, moving out.
I can't remember.
Love it.
There is a band called Hard Men Working Hard.
They're out of Australia.
They're on the Dixho all the time.
They have all these really funny songs.
Okay, so it's like a joke band.
Yes. Okay, okay. You didn't realize that? Hard men Okay, so it's like a joke band. Yes.
Okay, okay.
You didn't realize that hard-bending working hard.
You think it was a joke band.
I was a joke band, man.
They have a song.
I just want to play this to give you an idea of who they are and what they do.
This is a song called Straight Pride.
You're a clip from Her Do You Face.
Yeah, I'm a straight guy.
I'm not a straight pride.
I'm a fake.
I'm a back- my backside I like straight times
Like grilling with the guys and cracking up in a coagulette
This is shit a desire, I love that
Straight shit like dancing to the feet
Then pop us at the club in the summer heat
I love the straight songs, but my boy young John
I'm playing when I'm making love baby, you're not long
Cause I'm a straight man and I got straight brands
No one to take sin if they're in with that straight plans
You got straight parties like it in this is soggy leather on that sauce. So I want it in my body
I bought a building here. That's it. You feel me?
I'm trying to shit the river busy. You need no way in kidding
I have a sad cuz what me young the right hey check my glutes, but there's nothing
Okay, I'm not all right, so these guys are funny. That's amazing
They learned a lot and that song goes out and down. It's very funny
It's very funny
Like the men you check it out straight pride by hard men working hard
They have a podcast called filler content. Okay, and
They went ahead and put on a show that's not Dishon for W ATP
It's silly. So this is setting this up. We need to we need to be on our best behavior because sh**, go money. Carl from who these podcasts might be listening.
Forhead.
possible that he'll be listening to this episode.
Pinch me. We need to put on like a really good show for him
for Carl who's listening.
Cut the n*****er. So I've got to
it's out of my system. I'm good to go.
Yeah, let's go. I think I've got a list of podcasts tips here to give us an advantage in case who are
these podcasts decides to review our show.
Okay, so this is the setup to it.
There's a list of rules that Carl has about podcasts.
So then they start going through their lists of rules.
And I'm going to just
proposes by saying I agree with everything they say here. He's a bad habits to avoid,
okay? Okay. If you're recording a podcast. And for those of you at home who are listening
who might decide they want to get into podcasting, please don't. But if you do, try and follow
these tips and you'll have a real good show. Trying to avoid things like poor audio quality,
which could include things like, what?
So that means things like, you know,
clicks and pops, breaths, clinging.
Just in your community, see where they're going with us?
I do.
Okay, let's get through it.
So poor audio quality is one thing I don't like.
What else do I not like?
Second on the list team, we've got excessive laughter.
Try not to laugh too much.
Okay.
There's really nothing worse than missing to a bump cast
with a higher succumbstantly laughing at down jokes.
I agree, laughing around jokes sucks.
Alright, what else we got?
Third on the list is talking over each other. What? What? What are you trying final list is talking over each other.
What?
What?
You're trying to mean by talking over each other.
Talk about the sounds.
At least it's the right first talking on this.
I mean, I'm gonna say a conversation.
You can think of it.
We just talk.
So it's like they give the list and then they give the example.
Yeah.
I don't remember her ever on your list being don't say the N word
The on-written rule
It is the on-written rule whtp. We tried to throw N bombs around to happen
Holy shit alright, so then
They talk about editing out noises. I can If possible, just edit out all pauses,
breaths, speech, disfluencies, such as arms and arms.
And, you know, other unnecessary conjugations.
What's a conjugation?
Conjunctions.
Um.
Ha!
Okay.
So I see what they're doing.
This is the stuff you don't do and then they do it. The last
thing you get your first podcast crush man. The last thing while the last thing here
is inside jokes, which I try to help podcast is by saying you're not going to get new listeners
in on this. It was all inside jokes. I've got one more rule here to ensure that you have a good quality podcast.
And that is try to avoid in jokes.
So in jokes, what are you doing here?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna get in the cupboard now. Here I go. Don't press that button.
Anyone, the big button that I don't need to tell you what's on it because you all know.
Alright, so they're having fun with this and I'm having fun with it too.
Okay, they got these things.
I agree with all of those points.
You know, shitty, quality, editing out, nonsense, not using a set jokes.
And like you said, oh, they have a crush on you.
Listen where it takes a little bit of a turn.
It takes a turn for the worst right here.
If you're listening, Carl.
I...
I...
Kill yourself.
Kill yourself.
You fucking f**k it.
Carl from who are these podcasts? You fucking f**k it. You fucking f**k it.
Carl from Who Are These Podcasts. We had Dead Serious.
This is entirely serious.
Yeah.
Carl, buy a rope.
Tie a noose.
K**k yourself.
Did they add it?
Kill your shit. I'm not believing those.
You can't find a noose.
There are ways.
All right, Carl, thanks for being a good sport,
but sincerely, I hope you don't.
Weird choices of bleeps.
Yeah, I guess they don't want to be indicated
when I do kill myself.
They don't want to have to go to court for that.
Cause in Australia, the laws are a little different.
They're a little screwy.
And maybe telling someone to kill yourself would...
It's having a lot of mixed signals these days.
Okay, they said some mixed signals.
So, I just want to say that to the hard men working hard
who don't like me or what we're doing here,
I'm a big fan of yours.
I like your music.
I think you guys do awesome work and keep it up. It was a good
That was a good twist. Yeah, I was a good
Shablon type of twist right there. We saw that coming
Yeah, I was it it was a good twist
I was gonna make a joke about how how into them how into you they were but yeah
Now it's how to change his all of that doesn't it?
into them, how into you they were, but uh. Yeah, that was, try to change his all of that, doesn't it?
But, yeah, shout out to the hardcore fucking Australians
or whatever your podcast is.
The hardcore Australians, there you go.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
All right.
I wanna talk real quick about Coleman,
who just, I was DMbing with him on Twitter and I
talk about reviews that we get for our show in the US. I never go out and look at
international reviews for us. He just sent me a Google Sheet with hundreds of
reviews on it from all over the world that we can now read on the air because I
love to read people who hate our show. That is silly.
So thank you Coleman for compiling that.
We'll definitely get to that.
I really appreciate it.
And our buddy Justin here, who I really appreciate him
coming on, he is the co-host of a podcast
called Hate this Podcast.
Yes indeed.
With Todd Gerslin, who's also been on our show before.
And I've been on his show.
And I know you have to run to that.
Yes, yeah.
Pretty soon, is there anything you want to run to that. Yes, pretty soon.
Is there anything you want to tell people
about hate this podcast?
Oh, yeah, you know, it's just a bunch of comics talking shit,
trying to riff and stuff.
We got Ian Fy dance on last week.
Very fun to go.
We're getting Derek Gaines on this week.
Micraseen, Mike Cannon coming up soon.
You know, fucking just bunching New York City comics and
upstate New York comics talking shit so. That's awesome. At this time I'd like to
play everybody's favorite part of the show. This is the part of the show we
play clip from the podcast we'll be reviewing on next weeks. Who are these podcasts?
To get you excited about next week's episode.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I thought you had a drop you were going to try to.
I was just hanging there for a second.
Here is a clip from the show that we'll be reviewing next week.
Quick note that this episode contains some adult language, so you've been warned.
And if that intrigues you, welcome.
Have you ever heard about somebody who hates your face?
No, because I'm not famous.
So this one guy hates my face so much that he wrote about it.
His name's Mark, that's all I know about him.
And he wrote a review for the book Less Than Zero. And this is his review, one star. Some books are like the face of Justin
Long. This is a highly punchable face. Don't you just want to punch that smug look right
off his corny face?
This is a show called Life is Short with Justin Long.
You know Justin Long is?
He's the Mac.
From the old, I'm a Mac, I'm a PC commercial.
Yeah, he's also been watching movies.
Oh, I'm true!
I'm not even sure if he's this commercial.
So, he has this new Happy Galucky.
Let's all feel good about ourselves podcasts.
And we got a note from Shane Newton out of Australia.
That's an amazing fucking job.
I don't know who that fucking is or why you would have that.
So I have that because of Maynard who's also from Australia.
But Shane sent that in.
Who's a big fan of the show.
And we'll be reviewing that next week, Shane.
Thank you so much.
Speaking of Australia, I have a new friend named Gidget,
who I've made fun of on a podcast a couple of weeks ago,
who has put her hat in the ring to be a co-host.
I don't know if she'd be good at co-hosting the show,
but she's Australian, so be fun to have someone
with a ridiculous accent on the show.
Yeah, worst case scenario
You can make fun of her
That's always the best case scenario
However, how do you coordinate a time to record with someone from Australia? Right? Is that even work?
Yeah, you'd have to it would be a weird time. Does the internet go to that and does like discord?
How does that work the the podcast or you have to play them backwards?
Yes, it actually goes the opposite direction.
With the podcast.
That's enough for me.
It's like a dumb joke.
Fair enough.
Alright, Justin Brown, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Thanks for having me. I just flashed beer in my eye. That was painful.
Listen to hate this podcast.
Yes, absolutely.
So please join us again next week. It might be the episode we will find out once and for all. Listen to hate this podcast. Yes, absolutely.
So please join us again next week.
It might be the episode we would find out once and for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Sleep well, every pony.
Starting in the must-vis of Morning Radio.
And now to show these cold, right now.
Hmm.
Okay.
Great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Thanks.
Yep.
Right. Great show. Good job, everybody. Good job, everyone. Thanks. You all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What, what, what?
It doesn't make any sense, Rick.
Yeah.
Come on, for me.
Oh, my God. Monster me.
Oh, shit.
This dude is fucking court.
That's why today will not be a great show.
Fuck you!
Who are these podcasts? I don't know. I don't get it makes no sense
All right, let's do some voicemails and call today. Oh, yeah
Yeah, we don't have a ton of voicemails today, so we'll make quick work of this
Starting off with my stalker called into the show.
Hey Carl this is Cheryl your stalker I know a long time no Scott but just gotta say I was a little
upset about that comment made a couple weeks ago over no female listener. I've listened to every one
of your damn episodes and I've enjoyed most of them even one from the psycho's demon bitch from hell
I love kaya love dick. I kind of missed the cover commander like a little more of him and maybe some more from the jingles department
Great show talk to you later call me back. Love you. Bye. I like the demeanor of my stalker. Yeah, she's great.
She's really nice. You know, and what she's doing the bushes,
I feel a little uncomfortable. Yeah.
But when she calls in the show, she's like, Hey, just want to let you know.
The laser dot throws you off. Yeah, right. What do we do it? Yeah.
But that was she calls this. She's like, I love the show.
Yeah, female listeners. It's all good. Yeah, no
I am very much like I feel like we should have her on man. That would be fucking great
Definitely not
What's the point of doing a podcast?
I could have taken advantage of that
Oh my god alright speaking of female listeners get you car we have we have Vic and
Vic is either our female listener or other female listener or she's a little preview lesson boy
I should say he's a little pretty. I'm getting myself confused over
this. However, Vic called it again.
Hey Carl, it's Vic. Again, little boy. Fuck off. Listen, you need to talk Carl. I'm willing
to sit through a lot of fucking exact cheese. And I don't know, just some of your fucking
carlism. But like, let's talk about the new music. Can we talk
about the new music? I really need to talk about the new music.
It's great. Doug White did it. It's great.
Ridiculous dude. I thought it was pretty good.
Yeah. The Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Doo episode. Yeah.
It took a minute and 10 seconds. Yeah.
But do you put fucking Famel W like it's cool.
It's cool.
I get it.
It's cool.
It's like new stuff.
Let's fucking use it out.
You're overusing it.
A minute and 10 seconds until you said W-A-T-P.
A minute and 10.
And then at the end of that episode, Carl,
at the end of the episode, it took you like fucking two minutes
of just listening to that sit.
Do you think I like sitting in my fucking car after going and fucking working 16 hour
goddamn days in the child labor factory that I worked at?
Oh, and then Carl Ruiz episode, Greston P. Set motherfucker.
Um, 15 seconds at the start, 50 seconds.
Carl, Jesus Christ.
Cut it down.
Love your stuff. Keep it up.
Uh, yeah.
Thanks, back.
This is why you shouldn't give kids Adderall, you know, it's not good for them.
I know, I know you have ADHD, but Adderall's not the answer.
I know you're struggling in school, but you know know sometimes you just have to buckle down and do real drugs
Yeah, like an adult
Holy shit. Oh, it's fun. I so dog white putting out of this huge music bed for us
It's like I was gonna
I was legitimately gonna compliment you on it and I didn't like at the last segment
I was in a bag. Dude, you're fucking do you do your own like production like that
Should sound super good. There's some good stuff going on, but apparently we can't please everybody all the time man
All right, new catchphrase
I think that was band-pred to sky, but I'm not sure about apparently he's got to do catchphrase and I don't like it
All right here's somebody who's asking about our famous
episode 88.
Carl, how's it going, man?
Great.
Hey, so I have a podcast that I think you should review.
It's called The Ear Biscuits Podcast.
It's by a couple YouTubers, your brownies,
that you know, like Red and Link
from Good Mythical Morning.
I don't, I used to like it, I guess a little bit, but I don't really like it that much anymore.
I just think there are a couple pose or nerds and you need to destroy them with your facts
and logic.
Also, like, I've been binging
a bunch of different episodes of your show and I can't find the vanish podcast,
right? I heard you could get a link to it somehow, but I don't really know how.
Yeah, so let me know.
It's weird. Yeah, call think that most people would be binging this podcast and Ben Shapiro
or YouTube videos.
This is interesting because I hate this trans video.
I have mentioned this so many fucking times.
If you wanna hear episode 88, it's simple.
By our merchandise, donate to our PayPal, send me an email,
or a DM, or whatever you gotta do,
and I will send you a link to episode 88.
It's that easy.
I've talked about this a lot.
Okay.
I think this person's fucking up there. I also like this thing, I get this a lot. Okay. Yeah, this person's fucking I also like this thing I get this a lot where people say hey, you should review this this show
I used to do I used to be a huge fan, but now I want you to shit all over them like dude
Why are you turning out these people you so soon all the time now you're mad at them you out of this shit out of the
It's weird. It's a I wish that they were like podcasts would change in some way so
that way you could shoot on a different kind of podcast you know what I mean like
like I wonder if like porn is ever gonna become in a podcast format you know
there is it's called call her daddy what you that you know oh my
it's too skanks to talk about fucking dudes okay it's one of the biggest
podcast it's from the barstual sports network
But it's literally I was gonna riff about it. You got a whole pack
You should check it out because it's a poignant well, okay, well, if you wanted the riff riff away
I don't want to stop it. I'll show your point
stop and I'll shut your point. Yeah, I'm lost it now. All right, this is, oh, someone wants to call in about Jen from the Jingles Department. Hey, Carl, this message is for
Jen. I just wanted you to know Jen that you could do way better than Carl. I don't
know why you're settling for him, but you sound like a nice woman, you can do way better. All right, that's it.
Call me back, Jen. So I don't understand where the disconnect is here, guys. Jen can do better than
me. She's just in the Jingles department. I don't understand all these rumors and hearsay about
her also being my wife.
Jen is just in the jingle. She does a very good job, dude. She heads up our
jingle's department and she does do better than me on a daily basis. Here's
another voice mail. Carl, you son of a bitch. I've been listening to this show
for a long fucking time now because because I wanna find out who are these podcasts.
And then, you gotta fucking tell me,
that I listen to the end of this show
and I gotta fucking tune in next week
to find out who these podcasts are, fuck you!
Carl!
I don't want you to open for this shit.
I don't listen to fucking Chrissy Mayor.
Who the fuck are these podcasts? Anyway, call me back. That's true. a good podcast
that's true it almost seems like it's never gonna end by the way this person called back right away right to that call
oh yeah and I forgot to call you a boomer as well
haha yeah
yeah
haha
fair enough thank you very much.
Funny.
So I like it when our collars are funny.
I like it when people send in song parodies.
Yeah, you get a good fan base, man.
Well, you know what's weird about it?
We make fun of everything.
Yeah.
So people are concerned like, well, I want
to try to do a parody song, but you're probably
just going to rip on me and come off my family and friends like no
We make fun of podcasts if you study in material for the show will go easy on you or not play it at all right
Yeah, I'm not gonna like rip on someone who tried to like contribute to the show. Yeah, no, that's the fucking school man
It's cool to see we just have like a bunch of fucking neo-nazzi
Charers like this. hey, maybe don't listen.
I could see that.
All right, I'm just looking at the subreddit here.
And Kai, I could tell you that Jennifer
the Genius Department is doing fine.
She doesn't cheat on whoever she's with.
I don't know what you're insinuating there. All right, I want to leave everybody with what I talked about before this is a hot track from a band
I was in many moons ago called angel doesn't half minutes a song called slump buster 1 nd
1 nd
1 nd
1 nd
1 nd 1 nd So far I would not have bothered She was probably afraid
I neither been a kid or sober We made us both not wanna participate the shots
Three-hangers later it was on
We're back home to my apartment and a job
But then I just wanted her gone
I made her sleep on the red spot, I've been hurt
I've been asleep on the red spot, I've been hurt I won't let that next one ex over
Quite a moment for a night saw
Twenty-five more than I remember
She wanted breakfast, I said just it, she's skipping it
Just have a seven for a lunch
She was out of here but fuck her, it was great Plus I got a run that's I went
I made her sleep on the wet spot I made her sleep on the wet spot
I made her
I made her sleep on the wet spot
I made her sleep on the wet spot
I made her
I made her
I made her sleep on the wet spot I made her sleep for the wet spot, I'm made for
I'm made for the wet spot, I'm made for DUDE GAY WEDdings have gotta be the fucking BEST though you know.
Like gay people party way better than straight people.
Yeah, instead of an open bar, it's just cocaine.
It's just pile up on the...
It's just a molly like you get bag with molly.
I'm like a fucking pacifier so you can shove it up your ass.
Seven people die at it.
That was a fun fucking party.
It's kind of a tame gay wedding, you know?
People have been talking about having a patron that they can donate to for the show. No. Oh, yeah. People have been talking about having a Patreon
that they can donate to for the show.
Right.
And I've always been reluctant to do it
because I don't want to do bonus material.
I already put too much work into the show
to begin with.
Right.
But what if we just did a shameless only?
That would actually be a good idea.
Once a month, because then you can get out everything
that's going out there.
So much to talk about.
And then it doesn't have to take over the show.
And he won't ever hear it because he has to subscribe.
Well, she maybe he would.
He doesn't even want to.
It's such a...
I think that's a side point.
It's an idea.
It's an idea.
Yeah, I think that's the best idea you could have. Kielstwo
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