Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep184 - Big Bad Sadcast
Episode Date: December 15, 2019There are certain cities that have well-known comedy scenes - New York, Boston, Chicago, LA. Not on that list is Salt Lake City. This week we get a glimpse into Utah's "comedy" "scene." If you thought... Justin Brown was annoying for calling himself a comedian, wait until you hear these a--hats. Doug from Good Times, Great Movies (aka Nice Doug) joins the show to discuss Opie putting out terrible two year old audio as a podcast, Opie's new producer Creamy Butters, Patrick Michael's two-person monologue, Cum Town, Howard Stern, TACS, and No Agenda. Support WATP - http://bit.ly/watp-patreon Support Doug's thing - https://goodtimesgreatmovies.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Slap Aruni.
Man, I want to suck some dick.
It's show time.
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
W-A-T-P!
[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Hello, back slapers and cousin ruse. welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
The only show that doesn't want Bill Burnaby a Star Wars villain.
I'm your host, Carl, with me this week, co-hosts of The Good Times Great Movies Podcast.
It's nice Doug.
Oh, so happy to be back.
Doug, I really appreciate you coming on with short notice
and filling in for us this week.
We always love having you.
Go to whoarethese.com to get our email address,
voice mail number, link to our subreddit,
link to the Discord server that's actually working this week
on link to our merchandise and link to our Patreon,
where you can hear our Patreon only bonus episodes
that come out every single month.
We also encourage our listeners to give us a 5 star review and iTunes and then
shit all over us in the comments section.
Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called The Big Bad Sadcast.
This is a suggestion that came in from someone who wants to remain anonymous.
The person who suggested this knows these people
and wants to remain anonymous. So we have both listened to the show separately.
We have not discussed it with each other
beforehand, except for a couple of texts.
So let's get into it.
This is a show that's hosted by Wallace,
Arash, Amara, and on the episode of The Wheelist and Two,
there was a guest named Brian.
And all of these people refer to themselves as comedians.
Did you notice that?
Who do they? Yes. They you notice that? Who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who They talk about how they're popular. There's no fucking way in hell. So I want to get this thing started with the clip that
sums up the show for me.
What these people do is they tell jokes that aren't funny
or interesting or jokes and then laugh their asses off.
Here is an example of that where this guy heard a joke that was really funny recently.
I heard somebody joke about, uh, have you ever had a joke that was really funny recently. I heard somebody joke about, have you ever had a headache that only Mountain Dew will cure?
Yeah.
All right, so terrible premise, terrible payoff.
Have you ever had a headache that only Mountain Dew will cure?
The problem with this show, Doug, is not that these are just retards
who aren't funny pretending to be funny.
It's that they have to do this improv game where they're constantly
tagging each other and these conversations go on and on and on when they should all just
end. So this Dew will cure.
No.
That's hair of the dog man.
That's a good thing.
I got a Mountain Dew hangover.
I've gotten headaches from diet coke before, for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Well, they say when you have migraines,
you're supposed to drink caffeine, right?
Well, like, Sudren has like 66 milligrams of caffeine per pill
for a reason.
It just like wakes you up and gets rid of that headache.
Like taking pills, like taking a swig,
it's such like, like, you know,
alcoholic detective move, or it's not.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Take your boring pills, take into the Accadrin,
try going to Gatorade,
but all right, let's get back in the street.
Let's do this, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, you know what, guys?
This right here, this rambling, boring conversation containing already made before observations,
this could be a podcast.
Longer clips, because I don't want to listen to this entire show again.
Yeah, I apologize.
That was a longer one.
I listened to this show twice today, Doug.
I don't know what kind of torch you put yourself through.
This was a rough one.
It should not be the case.
If I'm listening to Dan Carlin,
yeah, that'll take five times to get through that.
But I shouldn't have to listen in these 15 minute increments
because I just want to stab myself in the ear with a pair of scissors.
You said that we would have overlap.
And this is wild because that clip was the exact same clip
where it's the show to me. Oh, no, I had the exact same thing clip for that. Yeah.
But the number two hit number two because it is wild that this guy is this stupid.
I've never I think I've taken an adville once that you gave me.
Ever in your life. Yeah, I think it was the one time. That's crazy. I'm an ibifrofen guy
No, no
I'm an ibifrofen guy not an Advil guy
You know what I said here's between the chemical and the brand name. Fucking idiot.
Holy shit.
Just really, like this podcast is so bad, so bad because it's just so boring.
They sound like they do not want to be doing this.
I don't think that's the case.
My concern is, I think that they love chuckling with each other and being a bunch of chuckleheads.
I think that their adults who sound like
they're still children.
I'll give you an example of this.
And I know this is overlap because I saw the name
of your track on here, so I apologize.
But the guy says, the show's all about getting healthier.
That is the theme of this episode.
Yeah. So the guy points out that in order to be healthier, because the show's all about getting healthier. That is the theme of this episode.
All right.
So the guy points out that in order to be healthier,
he should not go out to eat as much, and he says this.
I haven't gotten to vegetables yet,
but I'm just trying to like not eat out,
like just to say it makes up a whole.
Oh.
All right, so it's a quiz time for you, dog.
The guy said, eat out.
And they were very excited about that.
How many jokes do you think they're gonna make about
eating out?
Now that he's throwing that out there.
I mean, I'm listening to this,
but I would say upwards of four to five.
Oh, this guy did his homework.
Here's the answer.
Oh, I think it's a drink first. Hey. Yeah. Hey, finger me before. This guy did his homework. Here's the answer
They're children the guy says you know, I'm gonna try not to eat out as much, like, what?
Figger me first.
Okay.
Low hanging fruit.
But then the woman who's the worst part of the show,
I can't wait to get into that.
Oh my God.
She says, buy me a finger.
What is that supposed to mean?
What are we talking about?
God, nothing.
Her and this guest that they bring on
just drop out for long
sections of this podcast because they have nothing to say, certainly nothing worthwhile.
And I really could not tell when the guest was talking and when he wasn't. And when they're
doing these bits, let's call them with a call in, I think Jason Statham showed up. Who
is that? Is that another person added to this mix?
Or is it just one of the main crew?
I have no idea.
There's a guy who does terrible impersonations,
and he plays four different characters during the show.
And some of them call in, some of them come into the studio,
and they do the shitty, shitty improv,
where they talk about random nonsense
with someone you don't care about.
Jason Statham's the only person who was a celebrity
they were impersonating.
The other three people are just random nobody's.
They were supposed to be involved with the terror series.
They were supposed to be involved with the terror series.
They were supposed to be involved with the terror series.
Yeah, I don't know.
So before we get too far,
and you mentioned the woman on this show,
yeah, we have to talk about the vocal fry.
Yes, we do. I think it's just her voice, which is wild, but
play my number seven.
I enjoy it. And I think it looks very cool. But I'm like, too afraid to
ask for it at the store. I'm like, I'm very like self-scan type
person. That's how aggressive. The person who requested this episode said the woman on the show,
her vocal fry could cook bacon.
It is the worst vocal fry I've ever heard of the podcast.
And it's not some people will go into vocal fry at the end of a sentence.
This woman is at vocal fry levels at all times when she's talking.
It's baseline for her.
It is, it's wild.
I've never heard anything like that.
Me neither.
And I listen to shitty podcasts all the time.
This woman is the worst broadcaster in the history of broadcasting.
Her voice is atrocious to listen to.
What else you got out of here, buddy?
Oh, I, I, I, eating a thing.
I don't, I don't understand like, I really had to get in and I had to look these people
up and I, I had to do a deep dive and I found certain terrible stand-up acts by a few of
them.
And I pull clips from this woman.
She makes music as well, which I'll get into that later, because I would love your opinion.
But the guests that they have on, they think it's insane that he has normal friends, which I'm assuming are just friends outside of this improv group.
Yeah.
So play number three, because it shows just why this guy would want normal friends.
Yeah, yeah, you have a lot of like really normal friends.
It's weird.
Yeah, but that's good.
Can I?
What are you talking about?
What is a normal friends?
So awkward and bizarre.
They're, they're fucking weirdo.
So let me play because I have the piece right before that
where they're talking about how these are their comedian friends and then he has these other set of friends in the comedian friend group
I think Brian is possibly the healthiest crazy to me. I know
Like I you're like very healthy like I'm not
Well, you were
But in like my like non-comedy and friend group. I'm like the most out of shape
But in like my like non-comedy and friend group, I'm like the most out of shape
So this is what pisses me off about this is they call themselves a comedian friend group They're calling themselves comedians and I dog have a group of friends who are musicians and the reason why I can say that is because
There's overwhelming evidence that we can perform music
Therefore we are musicians these fucking ass ass hats are not comedians.
There's nothing funny about them.
They might be anti-comedy.
That's possible, but there's no comedy going on here.
There isn't a single laugh in this entire fucking hour and 20 minutes
and yet all they do is fucking laugh.
So difficult to listen to because you're right.
It wasn't funny and it just
drone on and on the main, I'm going to call them the main guy talked in such a monotone
level. Oh, yeah, he's no enthusiasm at all. I was so bored of trying to listen to this.
And every time they bring on a quote unquote guest, I keep, I kept hoping that something would happen,
that they'd fall into some sort of interesting bit
or interesting point of improv.
So they bring on this football coach,
I don't even know what this guy is.
But they're trying, they also talk about
how he teaches sex ed.
So play my number 14,
because you can hear the wheels spinning this guy's head
trying so hard to land a joke
and he comes up with nothing.
Like what's your metaphor?
Like you know birds and the bees,
or do you have a, how do you say,
are you gonna tell me what happens?
It goes back to football.
I say, you know,
you gotta get it in the end zone.
It's the end zone is pussy.
Yeah.
It took so long to get to that.
It's painful.
And the question sucks too.
So they're terrible at improv, but it's also the straight person sucks.
And the person who's trying to come up with the joke sucks.
Like, oh, you know, the person that be like, what do you use you use as a metaphor that's you're leading the witness a little too much there
I just have a normal fucking conversation and see if you can be funny and make jokes this is the best part of improv
This is the only reason to watch improv. Yeah is when someone doing it
tries to set up a joke and the other person has nothing and is like actually angry.
Yeah, this is a demonstration what I was just talking about.
You ask a question that's very pointed so you have to have a specific punchline for
it and if you don't, it sucks.
So what would a two-point conversion be?
Well, that happens after the time.
No, so I guess that would just be like a nice tend to kiss after a big level.
And then like I feel goals, you know, just I'll see you later.
Not bad, not bad.
I point after attempts.
Well, they put this out there for people to listen to. Well, they also think they're
funny. I think they're hilarious. I think they're comedians. And I would point out that
you would do yourself and your guest a favor. If something bombs that horribly, go ahead
and take it out of the podcast. Go ahead and pretend that question was never asked cause I didn't need to know what the in you window
two point conversion would mean for sex.
Oh, it's a tender kiss.
Right, if they did that though, they wouldn't have a podcast.
So I just take out everything.
Take out fucking everything.
This is again, more improv shit.
They have these conversations that just meander off,
they fall off the rails,
and they just allow the conversation
to slide down the hill forever into any which direction.
None of this makes sense, or is funny.
I have a, yeah.
I have a chewing tobacco is possibly
the hardest thing to quit.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, it's like insanely hard.
It has like fiberglass.
Yeah, it cuts your lip.
Baseball players have a hard time quitting that and baseball.
Baseball is very addictive.
I don't know if I love baseball.
I don't know if I love baseball or if I just love chewing tobacco.
I don't know, I don't know.
Baseball is so awesome because you can just be like kind of a piece of shit out of out of shape guy
Pointy baseball. It's like comedy. Yeah, yeah
Um, yeah, no, I don't know. Um, so they were talking about
Jewel and then they were talking about tobacco and then they're talking about baseball baseball school
Yeah, I like baseball. What the fuck are you guys talking about?
This is a terrible conversation.
At the very end of that, I just wanna point out
how brilliant these words are to put these all together.
Yeah, no, I don't know.
He says, yeah, no, I don't know.
And I just wanna say as a professional podcaster
that I am, that's terrible.
That's...
Most of the conversations end though.
That's how most of these terrible bits of improv die
is just somebody saying, I don't know.
Like, guess we're done.
Correct.
They just trail off.
They'll just start talking quieter and quieter
until they get interrupted, because they have nothing.
So you would think that someone who says something like, um, yeah, no, I don't know, um, might recover from that.
But you would be incorrect because listen to where he goes with this transition.
Um, yeah, no, I don't know. I was thinking about health-related issues,
and I have nowhere to go with this.
I have nowhere to go with this.
Oh, great hard alert.
Great hard alert class.
Listen, I just want to throw this out there,
just because I'm hoping that these people
who make this atrocious podcast,
listen to us at some point, you don't have to podcast.
You don't have to be a podcast host.
You don't have to put out a podcast.
No one's asking for it.
There's plenty of them out there.
Just stop.
Please.
It's enough.
I think they're doing this for someone.
They think, I mean, they speak directly to people in Utah.
They believe that everybody in Utah is listening to them
or they're not reaching beyond Utah, which is bizarre.
But also, I know that they think they're doing this for the rest of the people in their comedy
troop, their improv group.
And guys, if you're listening, I have to tell you, as someone who does a podcast and has
friends, your friends aren't listening.
Your friends are not listening to this.
They may have tried to listen to an episode to be nice.
They're not listening. Nobody's listening. Please stop this. They may have tried to listen to an episode to be nice. They're not listening.
Nobody's listening. Please stop this. You know what's so funny is that I introduced you
as nice dog. So you can just imagine what would it be like if we had the other dog at the
show right now. This is the nice dog. It just made me sad. Like this made me sad listening
to this going. They're they're trying to do something.
They're not only, they not only have this improv group, but they're going to these open
mics and then they're doing this trying to throw everything they can out there, hoping
that someone of some sort of importance is listening.
This is a terrible thing to do.
This is proving that you are awful comedians.
You should stop this now.
So, every single thing that is brought up is also laughed at.
Even down to the number of episodes they have is somehow funny to these assholes.
Did it so funny how even the shittiest podcast has like 50 episodes?
Really have like 10 episodes.
We're so funny.
Doug, there we have like 10 episodes.
Larius.
I have to play this.
I have their shittier than the shittiest podcast.
I have a super cut of just them fucking chuckling with each other.
And good thing you did.
I thought about it for about five seconds.
I mean, I'm not doing this.
I'm not going to pretend that I grabbed every force laugh
within this episode.
There's just no way anyone has the time for that.
But I think you'll get the sense of what this show is.
And again, if the people listening to this
are understanding this is good constructive criticism,
I would reinforce that laughing out loud at everything that said ruins podcasts.
Dick Masterson came on the show and he said, the best thing you can do when you're doing
a comedy podcast is not laughs. So God damn much. It helps out a ton. Here is these assholes
laughing at nothing. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
What a fool.
What a fool.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah.
What a fool.
Yeah. What a fool. Yeah. What a fool. Yeah. I'm sorry, that is so hilarious. I want that to be funny to me, but I'm angry.
They spend so much fucking time today. listening to these assholes laughing at nothing.
Laughing at shit that frankly they should be mad about.
I brought you under my podcast,
and this is what you think a joke is?
Get the fuck outta here.
That's all I wanna respond to these guys.
Let's talk about their pre-recorded bits,
because they do these things where they break
between their shitty improv and do pre-recorded
bits that by the way the levels are all off, the levels are way down on one part and then
way out another part. Guys, looking to compression, looking to normalizing, there's ways to make your sound.
So this is, and I brought this way up so that we can hear it. This is their
Muhammad bit. Do you remember this? Oh yes, I do.
They're doing a movie trailer or movie teaser or something and there isn't a
single fucking joke like they wrote this down. People who talk about how they're in
the comedy circle and they're in the comedy scene and they do comedy. There isn't a
single fucking joke in this. This summer, the epic tale of writing the Quran, starring Scarlett Johansson as Muhammad.
I'm so scared in this cave.
Hello? Is that an angel? Telling you to write a book?
This might be shocking, but we need to empower women to write religious scripture.
I mean, when I grow up, I want to be a prophet.
Take your journey to Mecca to see this powerful portrayal of one of the most influential
men of history.
So I guess the joke is that Muhammad is played by a woman.
Oh, I get it. I get it now.
Oh, I get jokes.
Yeah, good one.
That's, that is really, really bad.
All of their, and you say pre-recorded, I actually went back and I listened to just a couple
other episodes when I was doing this.
Oh, shit, that's amazing.
Yes.
Oh, Bob and on my friend. But they they have these pre-recorded bits and all it because I kind of thought I was sort of hopeful because I don't know if you remember first episode
I was on Vodken ghosts.
Yeah.
And it was a wild time and then we listened to other episodes and realized that the real hosts were boring and their fillings were just dumb idiots that made the show so much better.
So I was hoping this was a weird anomaly,
but every show is like this one.
They have pre-recorded bits in other shows
where they are flubbing their lines.
I know.
Oh, that shouldn't happen.
You know, would you run out of tape?
Just record it and get it. That's the one part you're editing. What did you run out of tape? Just recall it again. That's the one part you're editing.
What are you doing? So I just want to point to something that I think is crazy about this because
they have a guest on and he's talking about how he used to run a lot and he's trying to become
more healthy and run. So he's telling one interesting story, which is that he was running during the Boston Marathon bombing.
And he himself
interjects a quote-unquote joke that derails what could be an interesting story. That's number nine.
Yeah, I have this clip too, of course.
And I was pretty convinced I was going to die.
That is intense.
Yeah, no, it was outside.
Oh!
That was intense.
Oh!
Why would you do that?
Why would you ruin your own stupid story?
They could be the only interesting part
of this entire podcast.
Because these idiots do not have any comedic skills.
They don't understand that you heard the word
intense in your head. That's not clever. Don't say that. And the takeaway for me was
there wasn't anything these people think that they don't also say. Oh no, no. What
are the things that I try to do as a professional podcast, or as I mentioned multiple times now.
That's so stupid.
As much as they said, they're comedians.
I know, with the fuck, I think this all up.
One of the things that I try to do
is not say every single thought that comes into my head
because a lot of them aren't worthy of saying.
And I guess that would be,
if I could give some advice to these folks,
it would be, I don't know, do a little bit of self editing.
Think about it for just a split second.
Is this gonna be a funny joke?
Intense?
Is that a funny joke?
It's a joke that a baby makes.
Like these are baby jokes.
These are, like you said,
they are children that are also adults.
And I think they're, I think of one point, one of them tips their hand.
And they're in their mid to possibly late 20s.
That is way too old to be making an intense joke.
It's literally the fish sticks joke from South Park, which the whole
point of that joke is that it's terrible.
All right. This is that it's terrible. Yes. Huh. All right.
This is a fun little part.
They start asking,
if you ever cooked breakfast the next morning
after you sleep with someone.
And so they go around and have this discussion.
This fucking idiot,
uh, Amara,
says this.
I've brought someone like toast between like my two
fingers.
She brought someone toast between her fingers.
So you mean you were holding it?
Who the fuck would say you, you brought toast between your
fingers? That's what, that's what holding it means.
I don't, I don't know.
I don't know.
These people, they lack any type of comedic intuition. And they also
don't even know how to just talk like normal people. It's a it's a crazy mix too. Cause
you have this guy who is super boring, like way more boring than anybody I think I've ever
spoken to or heard speak. You have vocal fry.
And then the third guy is this stuttering mess.
Play my number 11.
And I could have pulled from anywhere in this podcast when he spoke.
I don't know.
I have to lose like 20 pounds.
Yeah.
I have another example of that right after that.
Stutters even some more.
Yeah, no, I should have crossed country too.
Like, yeah, it was like, it was like feeder kid kind of holy shit.
On the page, on their, I guess it's on the,
I don't know the site for the network or whatever,
where they're describing the show and they put their bios.
Oh, I was looking at that.
Yes.
He literally says he can't talk.
Yes.
That's why he's on the show.
It's crazy.
It's the bios are hilarious because the two people
are self-deprecating.
You can tell they all wrote their own bio,
but they didn't understand Wallace writes
this glowing bio about himself and how he was in radio
and now he's teed up with the hottest
comedians and they have the best podcasts of all time.
Like, well, you're not understanding what you guys have tried to accomplish here, obviously.
It sounds like the biggest douche.
I found an interview with him.
Oh, really?
And I just want to read the one question and then the answer because they're several that are crazy.
So the interviewer asked, when did you first take an interest in comedy?
And who did you like watching while growing up? His response, I'll never forget the first time I
watched Brian Regan and had the realization that comedy doesn't have to be dirty to be funny.
I've never sworn or taken the Lord's name and vein on stage
ever since.
Oh, okay.
This guy sounds like a joy to hang out with.
I understand that.
I've seen Brian Regan a few times.
I think he's a brilliant comedian.
But I hate that that's what defines him.
He eats.
He doesn't curse.
Well, he's also extremely witty
and comes out with really funny jokes.
That's the thing you're missing here.
It's like when people say, we're just like sign phone.
It's a show about nothing.
Like no, no, no, sign phone was funny because they wrote really funny jokes and had great
story arcs.
You're not sign found.
You're not bragging because you don't swear.
You suck.
Exactly.
These people seem so boring and so uninteresting.
And that's the problem is they think
what they're saying is worth hearing.
And it's not none of it is.
So you're saying that the guy Wallace
doesn't use any crude language
when he does come to this?
I listened to him once from three years ago.
So because I went back and listened to the episode
before the episode that we were supposed to listen to.
And right at the beginning, they had a song that they played.
And I thought I would play that for you.
I think you'll find this to be interesting.
And I challenge you and the listeners to really pay attention to the lyrics here.
And let's discuss what the song's about afterwards.
But I feel like we got to talk about what's been going on since our last episode.
Oh, the things have been going on, yeah.
Yeah, and we could tell you or we could play a song.
Okay?
Are we?
Drop the needle.
Drop the needle! I don't! And then he's the friend of this fucking zone!
Uh, hello, this is Mr. Johnson, just calling again, laying in bed, uh, all oiled up, uh, face down as up ready. Ready to get fucked by the BBSC, boy!
Hey, it's all fuck yeah, gonna kill me me, give it to Parker, I want it in my mouth
I miss you so much
Immediately after I hang up the phone, I call him in the window and you're daddy's phone
He told me I should leave, but I will take no more an intern
And now he's saying don't go
For an intern, and now you see it don't go!
That was great. And did you like it?
No! Nobody liked that!
No!
It wasn't funny, it wasn't musically interesting, it wasn't mixed well, it was about fucking someone's dead for some reason.
Yeah, yeah.
That mean he did not use the Lord's name in vain.
He was in fucking your goddamn dad.
That's true!
It wasn't offensive!
I just did your mom, the fucking dad!
Okay, that's all right.
So, Doug, did you listen to the lyrics of that?
What the fuck was going on there?
What was the story arc there?
Well, I think the only thing you have to know
is that was their father's day-up episode.
So, you know, everybody's that was their father's day episode.
So, you know, everybody's just like fucking people's dads
or something. I don't know. It's so stupid.
I think it's so much. It's so stupid.
All right. What else you got, buddy?
So this show is all about getting healthy.
And I found this just to bizarre is that they're talking about
what they've done in their life to get healthy.
And I think boring boy is trying to get people to laugh at this, but it's the only thing that anyone says that is actually a good piece of advice. It's my number six.
I think the only healthy thing I've done in my life is quit smoking. That's the only healthy thing I've ever done.
That's pretty good. Why is he laughing? Why does he think that
is hilarious and it's just gonna what
everybody's gonna pile on and be like,
yes smoking.
That's the biggest thing ever man.
I'll tell you what I did. I've been
exercising regularly. Can you believe it?
Okay, actually it actually pretty good.
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
It's, I don't know.
Why is that funny?
There's a moment of self-awareness that Amara has
in the middle of them talking and trying so hard
to make jokes.
Play my number 10.
So any other health goals though,
do you guys are like, oh, okay,
this is kind of where I wanna go.
I'm trying to get all hot.
Yeah, I'm trying to get sexy.
Yeah, Americ finally.
Let's move out of that.
This was a bad promise.
Yeah, let's not do that.
Let's just shut this whole thing down.
Are we ready to bring in Jason,
stay with me, Adam, or when is that happening?
Oh, not for 45 more minutes, great.
Let's keep going.
Uh, let's talk about how dumb Americi as as they're talking to coach Dave.
Coach Dave and this fucking went on for an eternity.
Not as long as the Robert Robertson call, but whatever.
Oh, oh, shit.
I told you I listened to the show twice. That's not true.
The second listen, I did, I just went right past the Robert Roberts
and shit. It was like this British guy who used to be gay and is trying to fuck girls
in the US. It was the dumbest promise that they beat into the ground. Anyway, I died
first.
It's almost 13 minutes, almost 13 minutes on that bit. Oh, okay. This is them talking to this coach Dave guy,
and coach Dave says, because he's an athlete,
he eats raw eggs, and then they get into this whole thing
where he's like, well, I actually carry them around
in a water bottle, and Amer is not understanding
what that might mean.
One water bottle just full of raw eggs.
A camel back, a camel back of eggs. A camel back full of raw eggs. A camel back. A camel back. A camel back.
A camel back. Full of raw eggs. Do you have like a big straw for the entire egg to fit through?
Oh yeah. A camel back. So she says, do you have a straw that the entire egg could fit through?
Or do you crack the egg first? If you're eating raw eggs, Amera. I don't know if you've seen Rocky. You eat raw eggs.
You don't put a raw egg in your mouth.
You crack it first.
You eat the inside part.
Are you that fucking junk that's jealous?
Yeah, do you think it's a can berry?
You want to, that's how that works.
You're not that stupid, right?
You're just a bad improv comedian,
because it's got to be one of those two things.
You're either an idiot improv comedian because it's got to be one of those two things. You're either an
idiot or a terrible comedian. I pulled the part leading up to this because it is again an example
of unfunny improv, but the silence is deafening. And this again, I could have pulled this from
multiple points in this show because they don't know how to do improv. If they run into any sort of problem, they just stop talking.
Play my number 13.
I mean, do you have any tips on how to like train,
how to become an athlete?
Yeah, the first tip is to get up
at the crack of dawn every morning.
You know, you gotta get up with the sun.
Yeah.
And then you gotta run 15 miles.
Okay.
And you breakfast in the middle. In the middle, eat breakfast while you're running. Okay. All right. That's what I do. What would you recommend for a breakfast?
Raw eggs.
Where are we going with this? Where are we going with this, people? I have an example of that from the beginning of the episode, where for some reason, they're talking about the keto diet and they're talking about
I don't even have to explain this very much. The guy has nothing and just trails off because he doesn't
even know what he's talking about. I saw a photo of a guy who's drinking a glass of blood like
like a cow blood. Yeah, he was having a stick blood and then like other stuff. It was all from one
animal. Yeah, it was weird.
I love that story.
He saw a fire.
It's a little, we back up here.
He saw a photo of a guy, Doug, who was drinking blood,
cow's blood while eating a steak.
And then some other thing, that's the same animal.
Uh, milk?
I'm just throwing it out there.
Could it be milk?
Like, what-he didn't even know.
He's like, yeah, it was all things in the same animals.
Blood, it was the meat, and so other thing.
He also said that he was eating a steak blood.
Yeah, I know.
These-oh my god, don't call yourself comedians.
Don't call yourself comedians.
Guys, if you want to do this, if you didn't call yourself comedians, I just think, well,
this is a huge mistake.
These people probably aren't going to do this again.
But I know that they think this is good.
And that they're doing this in public now, too.
They're on stages, places at open mic nights.
That's probably all they can get.
But that's what they're doing in the Salt Lake City area, be on high alert, anyone that who's out there.
I'm not impressed with Utah.
And I'm not, I'm not wanting to put a whole state on blast, but Utah, you got to show
me something, man.
I'm not seeing anything.
I know that you have very weird liquor laws in Utah.
You have terrible comedy. I can't name a sports team that laws in Utah. You have terrible comedy.
I can't name a sports team that plays anywhere near your state.
Like, what are you doing?
What are you doing, Utah?
Oh, I guess the jazz, right?
Yeah, that's it.
Because there's so much jazz there.
This is an example of, they're talking about the Spartans and the guy tries to be an
edge lord but nobody hears him so he has to put his edgy joke in twice. They also used to
fuck each other. Yeah, I mean I think I think I'm a little same game style and they're still drinking
child blood. So're pretty hot.
Hey, he's the fuck kids and the guys like, yeah, they were hot.
You didn't hear that?
Oh, they were pretty hot.
Did you hear that? That's I, I'm talking about the kids again, right?
You know that, right?
We get an edge, Lord.
It's very edgy.
Congratulations.
Is this why they take so long?
Cause I even texted and I went, I think this is the last show they're ever
going to do.
But if you go back and look,
they seem to take month-long breaks
between episodes.
Oh, they'll be back.
They mentioned that they'll be back at the end of the show.
Oh.
Any left.
Any way.
Anyway, we'll be back.
Right, I guess.
I think we're gonna start doing it more regularly.
Bullshit.
Yeah, this show gave out in some temper, there hasn't been a new one yet.
It's now December, so I'm guessing...
Well, I mean, they have all these amazing bits of that to put together, probably takes time.
Do we want to talk about the love songs bit that they do?
Well, play that, because I have that, it's amazing.
Do you want to play your version of it? Don't give a shit. I think I have the entire version. It's number 12
if you want to play it. So again, this is a little thing they put in in the middle
of it. It's a pre-recorded piece. You've mentioned that Amara fates
herself a musician. I see zero evidence of this and they play three songs, these three parody songs.
And again, tell me if you hear a single joke in any of these.
Imagine owning 157 of the greatest love songs ever written.
Now, stop imagining it.
Because now, for a limited time, you can actually hear them for yourself.
Through the bad times and the good times. Christmas, Christmas, From the UTI you gifted me.
All the classics you know and love.
Business and pleasure and pleasure and business.
Then some more business, then pleasure again.
All bundled together in one priceless CD.
I gave my number to a guy's cold and fluke.
And now I can't get pulled back and changed.
It's the ultimate love songs collection.
Call the number on your screen, and we'll give it to you
for only $599.
Ah, good one.
It's like they put so much work
into accomplishing nothing.
Right.
I mean, that must have taken them hours and hours to produce.
They have a fax out of the vocals.
They're writing these fucking parodies.
And not even it lands.
Not a pair of these.
They're not parodies.
These aren't jokes.
Nothing is a joke. Maybe pissing blood. That was okay.
But the rest, it's terrible.
And they're spending way too much of their time doing this.
I told you that she was a musician.
And you don't, I tried to look all three of them up.
And the other two, it was a little tough to find.
The guy who stutters a lot, he appears to be a real normal human being
who actually has a job as like a computer program or something.
So good for him. He has a fallback, but these are the two and she is putting her stuff everywhere.
Play my 19. You are a music guy. Let's call you.
I enjoy music.
I want you to tell me if this is bad, terrible or okay, I could not tell, but this is the type of music she
makes. Stop it anytime, it's long. I find a way to keep my time? I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy
Can I find a way to keep my time?
I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy
I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy
I'm not a bad boy
I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy
I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy
I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy I'm not a bad boy, I'm not a bad boy It's bizarre. Very bizarre. Is this a comedy song?
Oh, this is music.
She's got two albums.
You can find them.
I can't believe I'm going to be a star.
It's bizarre.
Very bizarre.
Is this a comedy song?
Oh, this is music. She's got no, I know. She's got two albums. You
can find them anywhere you can find albums. Yeah. So the mix is really weird on this shit.
It's crazy. Like, you're sitting in it. I can't understand a word she's saying. No, the vocals
are buried. They might as well not exist. So I'm not sure I just didn't know like I was like okay if a high school student did this for a project in music class
Yeah, I like the teacher be like you know what you got some you get some potential here. This is really interesting
Right, but if you're in your late 20s and you're doing this
I don't I don't know how I should feel about this. I will say this. It's not for me. That music was not made for me.
So for me to comment on it, I will just tell you that the mix is off.
Whoever is engineering this shit fucked it up royally because I am hearing things in that music
that should not be front and center.
And then the thing that I should be hearing is completely buried.
So.
Okay, all right.
I mean, that might be the nicest thing you've said about her this podcast though.
Listen, it's not for me.
I don't know.
I don't know what that is.
All right, I just found it fascinating.
When I, when I saw she had two full-length albums.
I mean, I'm talking about like 12 to 14 songs in two albums.
I was amazed by this, but when I listened to it, I was really confused.
So she's very creative.
Let's get back to how terrible they are at the engineering side of things.
At what point in the show they talk about their buddy Tanner's going to call in.
And they go ahead and say, is he going to be a character?
What are we going to do?
And then I didn't edit this.
This is their edit.
It abruptly ends in the middle of a word.
And this is all just left in the podcast, followed by silence.
Tanner also wants to call.
Should he call? Should he call?
Tanner wants to call?
Yeah, should he call?
Yeah, should he call?
And we ask him if I'm...
I mean, you could have him call for whatever.
I think it'll be dope.
All right, let's just take like a short five.
It's not cool with everybody. dope. All right, let's just take like a short five. Yeah.
Yeah. All right. Um, so.
That's not my edit. What? Why wouldn't you fix that? Why wouldn't you fix that
up? I take that all that out because then it goes to silence and then it slowly
comes back in with this Robert Robertson call that is the worst thing I've ever
heard on a podcast and i was in a
Patrick michael a lot
i someone that who is this this is the big bad said that who are we speaking to
yes that's right this is robert my life is robert robert
actually and uh...
was told i could get very good luck advice
uh... chute you you seem international robert are you a conflict with the
u-k I'm actually not in the UK. What's happened is I've moved to the States. Yeah, welcome.
The King, the kings of Picker are here in the United States, and I would like very much
to know how to be more successfully crushing pussy.
That was really well done.
It was hilarious.
I mean, and it only goes on for 11 and a half more minutes.
So, if that's what you like, guys, there's a podcast for you.
It's funny how yours and my instinct were the same.
Most of the show is them doing the shitty improv exercises
around these characters that they're talking to.
You and I both went, I can't even clip this.
We're not even gonna talk about this.
This is terrible.
When I say that text, I was legit in a panic
and I know you listen to that 10 minutes of this.
I was like, how the fuck am I supposed to clip any of this?
It's so funny because I clipped most of my clips
from the first 10 minutes of the show.
That's where all of it gold was.
Here's them riffing on the UK.
They got some really good bits around that.
We also have, I think, another British person,
a UK resident coming into the podcast.
And not the EU. Well, decidedly not.
P you.
That's what the British voters said.
I gotta say I'm pretty bruxited to see him.
Oh, yeah.
We should just kill ourselves.
Yeah.
All right, you have to explain this one to me.
I didn't understand it.
So he says, you know, they're calling him from Britain.
It's not the EU. P you. Oh, yeah, me. I didn't understand it. So he says, you know, they're calling him from Britain. It's not the EU
P you. Oh, yeah, I'm
Bricksited and the guy goes we should just kill ourselves anyway. All right. I didn't get that last one
What did that was that a reference to something? No, I believe he's I think he's the guest and he's literally had enough of this
He goes guys. He just made seven unfunny jokes in a row.
We should just kill ourselves.
And they go, oh, yeah, that's a good point.
But before we do that, let's start the Jason State though.
And I just have the intro to this little conversation.
Right, that was again, bro.
How are you?
How are you going?
How are you? How are you? And I'm gonna going? How are you? How are you? How are you?
I know.
And I'm going to play the right stuff, but I just want to point out, you know that a podcast
is terrible when one of the people does a shitty, shitty celebrity impression, whether
it be Jason Statham or I don't know, maybe Culper Commander or whatever it is. You know
it's going to sound like that.
Sure. I feel like I recognize this guy.
Yeah. What's your name?
Jason fucking stay them oh my god
You want to see me in the meagre
Transporter lock stock and to smoking barrels. Well, you know what we're all excited. Crank
Hobbs and Shaw
We know rock sucking cock go.
Lock stuck.
I could.
All right, I just, um, I want to move on.
I can't. Can I, can I just, I want to, if the people listening to this, I
can't do this anymore.
Or the, sorry, if the people doing this podcast people listening to this, I can't do this anymore. Or, sorry, if the people doing this podcast
are listening to this,
Amara at one point asks a great question
and I want all the hosts of this show to sit down
and just ask yourself this question.
And if you don't know the answer to this question,
just stop, just stop.
Everything you're doing, maybe go back to school,
become a lawyer or something like that.
Play my number 18.
How do I do comedy?
That's a great question.
That's a great question.
Where did you find that guy?
I don't remember hearing that.
I forgot.
I forgot.
She was asking, I don't remember hearing that
She was asked I don't know someone one of their stupid guests It's amazing told and them to all ask him a question and that's all she came up with and it's her so
The last thing I want to play from this show sure Sure. When I listen to the episode number 17,
the Father's Day, episode, they mentioned that they're
in a new studio and they say,
did you listen to this episode by chance?
Two.
Episode 17.
I don't know.
The Father's Day one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I listen to that.
Okay.
Most of it.
Wow, that's impressive.
Okay, maybe you can help me out with the answer to this question
that I have after you hear this.
Thank you for Dave for hosting us.
Anyway, the studio is nice.
It's much more relaxed.
We were at I Heart before,
but I think this is a better place to be.
And maybe we get a live band in the studio.
That'd be fun.
Yeah.
They were at I Heart before.
I don't.
As an I Heart radio, as an...
A legitimate studio.
That cannot be right.
Were they in a legitimate studio doing this show?
That's what I thought.
At first, I can't, I cannot believe that.
I, I, I, they can't be true, right?
There's no way.
I mean, unless they have some sort of hookup who, when the studio was shut down for extermination,
like they were able to sneak them in or something, that's the only way this makes any sense.
I'm thinking of the movie airheads where the three guys break into the radio station.
Does that date me a little bit? Fucking Airheads reference? Holy shit.
I mean, it does, but no, I think that's the only way they could have gotten into the studio,
but they're not nearly as charismatic as, let's say, Brendan Fraser.
Good call. I did the else you want to play to some of this show.
You know, you brought me on. You called me the nice dog and I do want to play just one quick joke
that they make. And so then I want to know if this is a joke they came up with or if he stole this,
it, I got a legit laugh out of this.
And I don't know if they're like weird Jesus freaks
and maybe it plays with that,
or they're Mormons or something.
Play my number 17, I really did like this pickup line.
You could be like, hey, are you Mary Magdalene
because you seem like a whore.
Okay.
What?
All right.
Is that bad? I can credit where credit is due. Okay, all right.
Is that bad?
I gave credit where credit is, too.
Look at what I was in.
That was the it.
That was out of an hour and 20 minutes or whatever this horror show was.
Look at us, rendering on a positive note.
Hey, guys, you had a good job.
Good job.
Well done.
I got nothing else.
We overlapped so much like you had said.
Yeah, I'm good to go. I have some other clips on here, but Jesus fucking Christ.
I think we made our point and then some... Yep.
And I have a lot of other things to get to.
We're gonna fly through this stuff, but there is a lot...
It seems like more than a week has gone by since the last WATP.
is a lot, it seems like more than a week has gone by since the last WATP. I have to point out that we had a lot of people talking about who are these podcasts starting with our
friends over at No Agenda again. I played this last week, but they talked us up again
and we do appreciate that because I'm a huge fan of the No Agenda show.
Yeah, who are these podcasts? Is a podcast that people should listen to.
It's very funny.
But then again, you have to lose.
They're just tearing apart a bunch of people, which, you know, we actually almost did something
like that on this show.
Yes.
And we thought we thought better up.
Yes.
That's the perfect way to say it. We thought better of it.
All right. So you guys have a better show format than we do. Understood. But thank you
for being fans of WATP. And then on the Anthony Cumia show, a caller called him because we
did a great OP segment last week. Andy and I came on and we talked about the fact
that OP's revisionist history is out of control.
He said that he got OP Anthony fired from Boston on purpose.
So they didn't get a better job in New York City
and someone wanted to call Anthony
and see if that could possibly be true.
There's a call here.
I definitely want to take that call.
I've got to see what this guy says.
I should mention Anthony has a illness bronchitis or something. So he sounds like shit.
This has been going on for the last month and a delicate flower.
Yeah, he sees that in good shape. Anyway, about this. Dan, what's up my friend?
Oh, hey, it's Darren. Whoops. I didn't write your name down. They did the booth. is that the is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the
is that the is that the is that the is that the is that the is that the is that the is that the that's hilarious uh... i heard yesterday on to work these podcasts
uh... okay
yeah they do it
they rag on a bunch of podcasts and they usually rack on opus
a podcast
uh... yeah i i said the whole thing was planned on purpose
he was the mastermind of it and uh... i guess you were just there to
go along
yeah
well that's pretty uh... uh I appreciate Darren for calling in and bringing
up the fact that we had a great opi segment. Later, actually earlier on the Anthony Kumya
show, he had Jim Norton on as a guest. And I watched this very closely because Jim Norton was just in the new Martin Scorsese film,
The Irishman, very happy for my buddy Jim Norton to have that kind of accomplishment.
But he pointed something out that I thought was interesting.
It's been pointed out to me that I cannot pronounce the word picture.
I don't understand that picture puts the T before the sea and picture puts the
wait, what would I just say? It's tough to see before the T difficult culture. It's
very difficult. And Jimmy's with me on those. Nick, Nick, we take a picture. I always say
picture picture. Take a picture. I'm with the Jimmy
I have a hard time with that word apparently. It's a picture. You know, I'm just gonna say photo
I'm from now on. I'm just gonna say photo
It's gonna take picture out of my fucking vocabulary
It's probably best. All right. The last thing I want to play you. I'm very excited about this
The last thing I want to play you as far as people talking about W. H. E. P. I should say there's lots of other things I got to play you. I'm very excited about this. The last day I want to play you as far as people talking about WATP
I should say there's lots of other things I got to is
Dick Mesterden came out in the show a few weeks ago and we talked about a podcast called They Them There's and these were
non-binary
folks who really were obsessed with pronouns and I want to remind you this person rain
was one of the hosts and rain
is unlikable and impossible to hang out with. This is a clip that we played from the
They Them There's Podcast where rain talks about how no one wants to hang out with him
or her.
I know that like there have been times where people did not want to have me around because they were like, oh, rain.
They've said stuff along the lines of like, rain's not gonna let us make jokes or not, you know, doesn't appreciate like this kind of humor.
And it's just like, well, you guys are saying that, but it's because you're jokes are super sexist or transphobic or something like that.
All right, so we played that and we exposed the fact that these people are insufferable.
I got a DM from Will Murray. Will Murray is a segment producer on the Howard Stern show.
So anyone who knows WHDP will know that I'm a big Howard Stern fan but listening for decades.
And so this was exciting to me.
I got a note that said, hey now, a big fan of the podcast, funny stuff.
I was hoping you could send me a link to the gender pronoun podcast, not yours, the one
you were goofing on.
It would be great research for a character we're working on.
Keep up the great work.
So I sent him back a link to the They Them There's podcast.
He says awesome thanks, keep in touch, which is very cool for me.
Yes, so from Howard Stern and multiple from Howard Stern's show started following me recently.
So they're listening to the podcast and not only are they listening to the podcast,
but it's feeding them content for the show on Howard Stern this past week.
They introduced a brand new character. This happened.
Well, you know, with these pronouns, you know, everyone's like, Hey, you're not, I mean,
I don't even understand it. It's supposed to be like, there's he and she used to be just
he and she. Like he is going to the store and some people are offended by that because
they're not a he and they're not a she. They're a Z or a V or a per or a they.
Yes.
I don't understand how one person can be a they.
Because they're not observing the plurality of the they.
The they could be either male or female.
So I met one of these days.
Yes.
I think they are a Z. Here is, I think this is Z. You're
a Z, right? You're not boy or girl. You're known as Z. Am I correct? I'm a part of
patchy gender fluid activist looking. Part of patchy. Okay. First of all, stop yelling.
Okay. Sorry. I'm just excited. I want to explain this to Robin it again. Part of patch. Okay. First of all, stop yelling. Okay.
Sorry.
I'm just excited.
I want to explain this to Robin.
You're part of patchy.
I'm a part of patchy gender fluid vegan activist and I'm looking to write the wrongs of
generations past, present, future, redefining gender life and food norms.
Yeah, but are you like, were you born a girl or boy or we don't even know?
Do you get to ask that?
Yeah, I can't tell what you are.
I want you to stop and think about your Yeah, I can't tell what you are. I don't know.
You can't stop and think about your 5,000 years of patriarchy.
Okay.
Just stop and stop yelling at me.
Yeah, but this is bullshit.
I'm not yelling at you.
I'm just trying to understand you.
I'm just trying to really get a, well,
how do you identify?
Do you even hear yourself?
Let me ask you.
Like, can you even, like, you don't get to ask me that question?
Oh, all right. Here's the question. How do you identify? Can you even like you don't get to ask me that question?
You get to ask me that. How do you identify? Am I asking how you're identifying? I'll tell you. I mean, I don't want to know because that doesn't define people. So what are you?
Wow. Stop yelling. All right, I'm sorry. What do you want to say?
I refuse to say what birth gender I was birthed into. I didn't even allow my gender to be
revealed to my parents, okay?
Really?
I divorce myself for my parents due to their misgendered system of raising small humans and
defining them as children.
So what do I call you exactly?
Call me Z.
Z.
Do you speak English?
Yeah.
He sounds like you don't fuck.
Just call me Z.
You're the one fucking yelling.
Do you even know what gender norms are?
Yeah, true.
I'm asking you.
I'm trying to tell me what gender norms are well I want you to tell me what
general are alright I know that's a long clip with people are not huge fans of
Howard Stern but the fact that things that are happening on whtp are
translating directly into bits on the Howard Stern show means that a sign for a... I'm looking forward to my booking on the Howard Stern show. And it's a mate, you are influencing the Howard Stern show.
And I'm not saying that as a joke.
I know.
I'm very impressed.
Me too.
It's weird.
That's so great.
Oh my God.
Fucking weird.
Especially with Howard.
I get Richard Christie on the show at some point.
Can I tell you what's funny about that?
Sure.
When I wrote back to Will Murray, what I said to him was, give this message to Richard for me if you can.
He is my favorite.
That's my favorite.
That's my favorite.
Richard, you're my dreamer.
I was my dreamer with Richard Christie right now.
Yeah.
So that was very exciting to have that happen.
And I wasn't sure how to say that,
like to take full credit for it. And I just decided to fucking do it because that's what I do around here
It's better that way. Yeah, all right. We have a lot of other things to get to one of them being my friend
Opie radio
The O.B. radio podcast.
O.B. put out a brand new episode that is old as shit.
He found audio of him and Carl doing a Facebook live.
So before O.B. started the podcast, he was in between gigs. When he got fired
from Series XM, he would do these what he called pop-up shows. He would go on Facebook
live and do an hour with Carl Rowe's talking about whatever. So OP decided that he's
going to take one of those episodes and put it out on his podcast. So they're in a restaurant during lunch,
having a conversation into an iPhone.
So you can imagine this is probably pretty good stuff.
This is OP setting that up.
But in the meantime, I found some lost audio of me and Carl
down in Chatham, New Jersey, eating burgers, talking shit about a lot
of things, giving a lot of inside baseball on the open Anthony show, and just simply
laughing our asses off together.
I still miss Carl horribly.
No shit, sir!
No shit!
Yeah, it's pretty obvious, I hope, Every episode you put out has been either a tribute to Carol or old lost audio
I love it. It's like, well, I found this lost audio. It's been on YouTube for two years. It's lost.
You can google it.
The thing that I got out of this episode, because I listened to it, I tried to listen to the other one with what's his name? Blue collar scumbag.
What kind of...
What kind of... No, no, no, no, no. One of those blue collar comedians. I can't think of
you guys.
Oh, right, right. The guy that, uh, Vickhandley opens for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't get through that one, but I did listen to this. And while
it is tragic, the carl had a heart
attack at a young age. When he was talking about how he makes mashed potatoes, and it is
a one to one potato to butter recipe. Yeah. Five pounds of potatoes is something you can
easily get in a store. You have much five pounds of butter is. That is an insane amount.
It's dangerous.
And he's eating the fries off of Opie's plate.
I want point two.
Well, also, it's an interesting episode,
only in the fact that I don't think anyone thought anyone
would ever see it or hear it.
So Carl has no guard up.
Every time the server comes over, he goes,
would you like anything?
He's like, yeah, two shots of Jim Beam in a beer, please.
Every single time.
And I thought he was ordered for OP.
And then he's like, OP, what do you want?
He's like getting two shots of Jim Beam at a time
with a beer.
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
I do Miss Carol.
So they're eating food together,
which is an awesome way to do a show.
And Opie gets really excited about Eurkin Carl,
the way that he eats his burger.
It just, Carl just can't take it.
They're so quirky and so funny as friends.
Oh, I could save on the carbs.
What do you do?
No, no, no, no, save on the carbs. What do you do? No, no, no, no, save on the carbs.
So I am watching.
Can you put the bread on top of that?
Dude, I can't do this.
Literally.
Put your bread back on.
I'm going to cancel the whole pop-up.
Is your OCD cooking in?
Yeah, you got to put the bread back on.
Stop it.
Oh, I'm sorry dude.
So Opie thought this was the highlight of the show that he's fucking with Carl by eating
his burger without the bun.
And all Carl's just like, oh, beside himself, oh my gosh, how could you do that?
So they take a break and go to a Bluetooth ad read.
And Opie has to talk about how he thought it was so funny that girl didn't like the way he ate his burger.
Quick break because I want to talk about BluCue, one of my fine sponsors, Do the O.P. Radio Podcast.
I also want to say Carl really, really despised how I ate my hamburger as you can tell in that audio that we just played.
And do yourself a favor. You got to see the entire video.
There's a link to the video in the description of this episode. I think you're going to really,
really enjoy the visual. All right. Doug, this is not old audio. This is brand new.
Opie is saying, you got to watch this video of me eating my burger with a fork and Carl freaking out.
video of me eating my burger with a fork and Carl freaking out.
Olpe thinks he's on the same level as Joe Rogan.
And he's telling you, you gotta watch this video of me eating a hamburger
with a fork.
Does he not understand how pathetic he is as an entertainer?
Is that possible?
That's pretty clear that he doesn't. Pretty clear, right?
I've known it for a long time.
Like, holy shit.
You know that he's the case.
You guys gotta see this video.
I'm meaning a hamburger with the fork.
Yeah, we just heard that, Opie.
I can picture it.
I can picture.
I can photo it.
Here is him with his blue chew.
Yeah, what's that?
Oh, are you about to play this ad?
Yes.
Because at the first third of this,
I was like, I don't even know what the fuck blue chew is.
What are you talking about?
Your friend, butters?
Like, I guess it's a food.
I'd swore it was something to like
keep your food fresh for a while.
While I was listening to this, he's so dumb.
It's so dumb.
He's got a new producer named creamy butters,
and I wanna get into that.
But that were, wow, okay.
Yeah.
That doesn't make any more sense to him.
No, it doesn't help at all.
He's really a blue chew ad, and he says,
my buddy, creamy butters is telling me
that he can't get his butter stick as hard.
And just listen to how shitty he reads these ads.
It's again like a high school project.
And butters goes, oh, can you help me with this?
Because I really want my stick of butter to feel like that butter that you take out of
the fridge where it's nice and rigid and hard and firm.
You not charismatic.
Opie, can you just fucking read and add without sounding like a complete asshole?
Is that possible?
Again, he can't.
You've been doing this for a while.
You listen to those quip ads.
This is what he does.
And I can't imagine that any advertisers are like, oh, yeah, yeah, this
is great.
Let's have him read it.
No, just play, play, cop, like have somebody professionally read this and dump it into
the episode.
I don't think having OP do these stupid voices and other, just like, modern nonsense the
whole time is helping your product sell.
No, no, I would never buy blue chew because OP said,
you want to get harder,
something a little over the top, buddy.
So what you're saying is you eat this stuff
and you get a bone.
Okay, that's it.
That's all you got to tell.
We're good.
There you go.
I want to talk about how terrible the audio is in this.
And again, this wasn't supposed to be a podcast, but you did put it out as a podcast. I listen to this entire episode
They talk about nothing. It is boring. It's all fucking get out
And then they finally start talking about this lawsuit that OP has against a serious XM because he was let go and
He's countersuing them and all the sudden when it gets interesting
That's when all the noises are happening you can hear shit
you better get back to us because Opie is going to see you
and he's not just suing for the money you owe him
he's suing you for all sorts of stuff
no shit yes
Some stuff no shit. Yes. I
Can't fucking take it. Why is he putting this on as a podcast?
I don't know
All right, I was really interested. No, I do too lost interest in this podcast I'm gonna start talking about the lawsuit. I was like what what's happening now?
Right and then I tried to listen like you said I couldn't hear a goddamn word they were saying.
So this is great.
OPE talks about what he's suing serious XM4
and Carl genuinely laughs at him.
At first, you're gonna hear OPE laugh along with Carl
until he goes, wait, why are we laughing?
Oh, you're laughing at me?
He's like, what, what?
This is a great club.
Like, one of the things was a hostile work environment
because when they... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Funny you just sounded like a like a teenage cashier and a bedbath and beyond
Why you laughing at hostile working bar. Oh
Honestly, I love that because Carol is totally goofing out. Oh, you in a hostile work environment. Oh
For you, that must be so trying for you. Carro goes on to say, yeah, it's called life.
Every place you work, people hate each other.
That's how that's what work is.
Get, get fucking over it.
He actually, Carro goes on to talk about the very first time
he was ever on Open Anthony.
He was on there with Guy Fieri.
And he was just trying to help set up the food that we're cooking,
and he was just kind of like his assistant.
And after the show,
Carl got to meet Jim Anthony and Opie.
And so he talks about my very first experience
meeting these people and what my impression was,
listen how nervous Opie is
about how he came off the very first time he met Carl, because
Carl's never talked about this before.
And I was like, oh fuck, what did I do?
I remember I met Jimmy, like, right in the hallway.
And he was like, hey, Carl, hey, Jimmy.
I'm like, all right, nice guy.
He's here, he's here.
He's like, oh, that was funny here.
Okay.
And then I met Anne.
Anne's like, typical long island, you know, like,
Hitchhutilly loves you.
He's like, ah, angry Cuban, eh?
You do that fruit thing, I get out of my way, you know, nice guy.
Right.
And then I met you, same fucking dude.
Good.
Great.
You were great.
Yes.
You were great.
He has to open. He was great three times.
Yeah, the money was that he goes. Oh shit. I was. He goes. Oh shit. Then how was I? You were great. Oh,
oh, thank, fucking God. Oh, thank, fucking Christ. The one person I was nice to.
I don't understand why car would want to spend any time with opi i don't
understand why anyone would want to because the more i listened to your
podcast and the more than every time i come on i have to listen to his yes the
more puzzling it is why anyone would want to spend time with this megalomaniac
if only carol knew
how precious time was for him
i think you would have I think he
would have rethought a little bit. I do like the fact that Opie says this.
They just think I'm the biggest piece of shit and I should die. Okay. I like that.
I also like the fact they're talking about Roland who's the guy that was the
showbooker for them. the guy that Opie took
video of pooping while at work, who complained about Opie to HR. And this is Opie's complaint
about Roland. And remember, this is more of a candid conversation. This wasn't going
out as a podcast or anything like that. They were just doing this on Facebook live for
I'm guessing 13 people.
He's talking shit behind everyone's back.
Oh, he talks about everybody.
Wow.
There's a guy he used to work with who talks shit about people behind their back.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
OP, do you think maybe you talk shit about people behind their backs?
Is that possible?
I've heard you do it on your podcast.
It's recently last week.
Jesus Christ. possible? Have you ever heard of your podcast? It's recently last week.
Jesus Christ.
All right. Lastly, I want to play about Opie. He's got a new producer,
creamy butters. And I don't know if this is the new Mike Sappho.
I got to reach out to Mike because he's a friend of the show now and find out
of creamy butters took his place. But at the end of the episode,
this guy comes on and he's like the new Joey.
Hey, what's up, buddy?
He's creamy butters here.
You want to be a part of the OP radio podcast and the best way to do that is to join his
Facebook group, the OP radio podcast, better known as the pod squad.
You can join OP nearly every morning as he faces his camera outside of his window to see
the beautiful New York City skyline, kick back with a bunch of other members of the Facebook page and just listen to a classic episode of the podcast. Sometimes
a bunch of us get together, play some video games. One night a bunch of us got high. We
turned on Netflix and we started the flat earth documentary and it wasn't nearly as
gay as I just made that sound. So this OP show is literally for people with no friends.
Right, yeah.
He just laid it out there.
Yeah, to get together with people virtually to play video games and to watch a documentary
on Netflix, why would you not want to do that?
You know, we did the other day with my fake friends from the internet.
We all got to hide together Did did ya?
That's what I'm gonna get and it wasn't gay like it sound that's so pathetic
What's wrong with you people what are you doing?
Didn't like it let go like
Where was I mean when you had my gun I know he said that he was really busy with
Life and an actual job,
but he didn't have a lot of time for this. So I'm hoping it was him saying, you know, maybe I don't
have time and hopefully he wasn't like, oh, I'd feel bad. Oh, I wouldn't feel bad, but I do want to
get Mike back out of the show, a doctor about creamy butters because creamy goes out to talk about the fact that they have a brand new rant line.
Remember, back in the old A days,
they had the rant line read,
Colin and you'd mother fuck people in your life
and they'd play that.
And then OP reinvented that.
I don't be radio for Westwood one
where it was the say things nice about me line
and we'll play it on the show.
People would call and be like,
OP, I was gonna kill myself and then I heard you with Vick Henley at a bar
and now I'm all better. It's like, okay, I guess. So they're re they're bringing that
back again. Coming soon to the Opie Radio podcast,
Facebook group, a way for you to get your voice on the Opie Radio podcast.
It's kind of like the old 800 number, the, the rant line that Joe used to run,
but it's going to be a little bit different. So if you want to be on the
Opio radio podcast, join the Facebook group, the Opio radio podcast, the pod squad, and jump on in,
let's have some fun. We're going to get you on the podcast soon.
So somebody in our subreddit posted the note because they're a part of the pod squad, which is great.
I was like, an insider too. I think this is Don and Mike show, who is a member of our subreddit.
So he posted a screen grab of creamy butters post in here to the opi radio pod squad. And it says,
you are also a member of an ever expandingexpanding group of friends, a network of
fuckers that have good humor, love good food, and enjoy living in the moment.
Which I thought was interesting because I believe a commenter in this thread
pointed this out. The living in the moment thing is, can we not dwell on the
past, please? We all know that that OP Sox and everyone hates him.
Let's not talk about that.
Let's just talk about what's going on now.
Wait, I don't know.
I ain't got fired for Westman one.
The only podcast we're never gonna fire. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, save it to Google Drive and share it with me at CreamyButters at Gmail.com. If we like it, you will hear it on the show.
So, these are the craziest instructions
I've ever heard in my life to participate with a podcast.
He says, record a message using your folder computer.
I'm like, don't tell me what to use.
If I don't record a message, I don't record a message.
Then I'm doing, you're gonna write it down.
I'm gonna write it in. Then I'm new, you're gonna write it down in the video. I'm gonna write it in the video.
Then I have to save it to Google Drive
and share it with creamy butters of Gmail.
If you send me a fucking drop box link,
I'm never gonna fucking listen to it.
You mother fuckers, like, why is this so specific
in the way I have to share this audio file with you?
And why would you just set up a number
like you used to have, like we have,
just have a phone number.
I just thought that was hilarious.
He's fucking people, man.
I can't wait to hear all of the fun messages
that come through.
This sounds like the least amount of fun.
This sounds terrible.
I mean, it sounds to me like,
Opie's totally checked out.
Like, Opie wants nothing to do with this.
He literally said a few episodes back, like he's, I'm not sure what he's totally checked out. Like Opie wants nothing to do with this. He literally said a few episodes back,
like he's not even sure what he's gonna do anymore.
So I don't know what creamy butters
is just trying to keep this thing afloat for a little while.
I don't know either.
And it's funny you say that because Eric Nagel
and I were going back and forth a little bit.
He's the former producer of the Opie and Anthony show.
And he was even saying, like Opie's in a transition phase right now. He's not sure what he's going to do. And does this
sound like someone who has fuck you money? Someone who's trying to keep this terrible show going
with his Facebook group and now you can upload a message to Google Drive and we'll play it on the
show if we like it like what the
fuck it's also so desperate. It's like Patrick Michael level shit. What does he do?
I don't know. I mean, I'm sure he has money, but he's also a huge narcissist. I don't
think he can just go away. I mean, to the untrained individual, he sounds like a maniac who should not be putting anything
out for people to hear, but he continues to do that.
Speaking of lunatics, it's time for everyone's favorite segment of the show. The 9 minute podcast which is now called the 9 minute plus podcast this fucking guy takes everything we say to heart
Like why is it more than 9 minutes? It's fine. I'll call the nightman a plus bike. It's you happy? Yeah, kindness. And that
you didn't, oh, you didn't tell me we were doing this. I didn't
tell me we were talking about this. I didn't, but I have good news
for you. You didn't have to do any homework to appreciate what
I'm about to play for you. And I want to give thanks to Matt
Lewinsky, who always feeds me these things.
Also, Poe Boys, Jody B,
who also is feeding me this information,
because what our buddy Patrick Michael is up to now,
makes me so happy.
He's learning from the pros, the professional podcasters,
and he's going in and putting some production into his show now.
He's got...
That's what a podcast is like you.
Like me!
Have I mentioned that before?
Fushin' a pie.
He's putting in the work.
Now he's got a soundboard.
He's got software that manipulates his voice.
And he's really starting to figure it out.
So I guess that's the general idea is to consistently entertain.
And that's what I'm trying to do.
I don't really know what it takes.
All it knows is I'm putting myself out there
and I'm being judged and it's fine.
I know I can't.
I like it, but also, you know,
you probably should just jump off a cliff.
But for more reasons than one.
So that is directed at, I believe yours truly.
What?
Oh no.
He's putting himself out there and he's getting judged and he doesn't care and it's fine
but also I should kill myself.
But for many reasons and it doesn't matter, this podcast specifically is so manic and
so entertaining.
It's amazing.
In this portion of a month to play for you, he talks about how his podcast is multiple
people.
And he's mentioned many times.
It's just him.
He does all of the work.
And he's just one guy trying to do this.
But he speaks about the podcast as we and then shifts that to being a person.
And this is interesting.
You know, we stick with it.
We're consistently being ourselves consistently growing and just being a person,
but a person of whatever, right?
Just fuck it.
You know, let's do it.
Let's do it.
The reason why I played that clip, dog is because I went ahead and transcribed it.
I want to read that for you.
Sure. Yeah, of course.
But I just played.
He says, you know, we stick with it.
We're consistently being ourselves, consistently growing and just being a person, but a person of
whatever, right? Just fuck it. you know, let's do it.
Let's do it.
That's what he just said on a podcast.
What does any of that mean?
I mean, anything.
It doesn't mean anything.
It clearly does not mean anything.
Oh my God.
He didn't get any points across whatsoever.
And remember that none of this matters.
It doesn't matter what he puts out, what we say about it.
He doesn't care.
Welcome to the 9 minute broadcast.
Fucking minute broadcast.
That's 9 minutes off.
I think you're a striped child.
I'm happy.
And it doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
I could do it.
Literally anything I wanted on this show and it'll be fine. It'll be 100% fine. You'll listen to it and you'll hate it and I still won't care
So just know I live my life
The way I want and you can't tell me different now.
And you can't tell me different now.
Doug, does this sound like a guy who does his care?
I mean, what the fuck?
I'm afraid for your safety.
Is it like, this is terrifying.
I gotta tell you a funny story.
The A-Stobes plate are Christmas show last weekend
and we're in this room and people are coming in
and I'm just sitting in the back
and watching people come in
and a guy walks in who looks like Patrick Michael
and I literally thought to myself, this is the end.
I'm not even joking with you.
I looked over and I was like, oh fuck,
this guy is here to kill me.
This is the end.
Oh my God.
This is, I have to tell you just personally,
you can cut this out of the show, whatever.
I am so happy that you have introduced
like Patrick Michael into my life.
I, there are several times a week.
I think about the fact that he thought that it only raided Indiana and it makes it feel
to me so much joy.
I just, I, I'm endlessly entertained.
It is, it's a guy is so great.
And I never want you to stop talking about him.
And I hope he does not murder you.
I hope not too.
And if he does, I hope it's a murder suicide.
Obviously, I'm willing to take one for the team.
But I cannot believe how often this guy talks about
how much he doesn't care about me talking about him.
It's unbelievable to me.
In fact, I've been getting some notifications.
Let me just see if I can pull this up in my DM
because I was talking to Jody B and
my buddy
Doug from who's right so the guy had a conversation with
Shamus directly and they asked him about
W ATP and Todd thought it was funny that we were trying to ride his coattails
and Todd thought it was funny that we were trying to ride his coattails. What?
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Oh, yeah, of course, and I just I just want to get a fraction of those downloads if I can just talk about
What a success he is
Maybe I guess some of those people are right that was a diversion
I mean, there's there's a chance he does not know what that expression means and if I was a
Confirm I could come up with something very funny that I would think that he thinks it means but I'm not a comedian, so right
Patrick Michael is a
fucking dipshit.
Feeling like I don't really know what direction to go.
And that's fine, dude.
It's so good.
It's so completely fine.
I'm not really even sure what the topic was today.
I had an idea.
Nascond, so.
You know how that goes when you have ideas and then there are no more.
It's exciting. Hey, this guy literally says, you know like we do something that's terrible and nobody
wants to hear it's great.
It's great when you do that.
Well no.
Do you understand how sentence structure works?
You can't say that.
I had an idea that I wanted to do and I totally forgot what it was
and now I have nothing to talk about.
Isn't that exciting?
That, no, it's not.
It's not exciting.
It's not exciting.
I've only listened to the nine minute plus podcast
on your show.
I have on my own listen to the movie review podcast
and I love it wildly.
It's so great.
It's so great. So great. He goes, I love what wildly. It's so great. It's so great.
So great.
He goes,
I love what he's talks about spoiler alerts.
He's like,
all right,
if you have a see this movie,
I just want to let you know,
spoiler alert.
And then he talks about who directed it,
how long it is.
Like,
none of these things are spoilers.
Right.
Oh, sorry,
God.
But is this nine minute podcast,
he just talks about nothing?
Yes. Right? Is that it? It's gotten worse. Not, he just talks about nothing. Yes.
Right?
Is that it?
It's got worse.
Not only to talk about nothing, but now he's singing through an auto tuning software.
He's got these drops to play a pause.
You didn't do any of that.
You didn't do any of those.
I'm listening to this unedited.
This is what he's putting out.
Oh, I should have mentioned that.
I have put nothing on this. This is what he is putting out. Oh, I should have mentioned that. I have put nothing on this.
This is what he is putting out. He is doing all of this himself.
Those crazy beats at the end of that last clip weren't
you hitting the table with your fist. That was on.
Correct. All right.
Correct. And then and then because he's putting out this crazy episode,
where's just all these noises and drops and auto tuning,
he says this, which is the funniest thing he has ever said in his life
As weird as it can get as weird as it can get for nine minutes and I might release this
This might be a patriotic exclusive as well might give you guys something on patreon that you can you can be like wow
This guy is as insane as a lot of people have said.
He says I might make this a patriotic exclusive episode. So I've said, well how many patrons are there on this guy's page? He's putting on patriotic exclusive episodes.
There's one person for two dollars. He's gonna make an episode for that one person,
which is probably his girlfriend, Carly, but he's gonna put out episode for that one person for which is probably his girlfriend Carly, but right. Yeah
He's gonna put out an episode that's and I love this. He's pretending to be a real podcaster
He's pretending he has a real podcast and that he's a podcast toast
So he says things and he hears other people say like oh this might be an exclusive episode just for patrons on patreon
Like dummy what you're saying are real things that people actually do that you can't do.
Nobody cares what you're showing.
No one's listening.
It's amazing.
It's how you get patrons, right?
You throw up a bunch of college ed
and once enough people see that it's there,
they're like, well, I'm gonna give in
and give you a bunch of my harder money.
That's it.
That's how you do it.
He wasn't sure he was gonna to release that episode or not.
And then shocker, he did.
This content is terrible.
I'm not sure if I'm going to release it.
Oh, by the way, it's out.
Okay, good.
Just the way he came to that, like, Piff and he's like, oh my God, this is great.
But when I'm doing right now, it's amazing.
I'm not sure I should put this out.
It's so cute.
It's really precious.
He's super adorable.
It's super adorable.
Very, very frightening.
It's so cute.
And honestly, if there was a way to drive to Rochester
that didn't go through Gary, Indiana,
I'd be concerned for my life.
But I think that's the only way to get here.
No, no, no, you can't do that.
There is a show that he does called Great Job Thank You.
And he does what he calls a two-person monologue.
This is a very long clip.
I don't know if I'm gonna play the whole thing,
but I want to start playing this.
How about a two-hatson monologue? Hold thing, but I want to start playing. Yes. How about you? Go ahead. He's in monologue.
Hold on, sweetheart.
He benches this month of a time.
A two person monologue, he says.
I wish I was making this shit up.
I wish I created a character that was this stupid, and this was like an invention of mine.
I'm not this clever.
I don't know people who this stupid.
I've never met someone this fucking retarded in my life.
I don't even know.
So this is great.
He's got a two person monologue.
And I'm gonna have to play for a minute,
and then we can talk.
Okay, guys, so what we're gonna be doing here today
is we're gonna be attempting to do a two person monologue,
which is me.
That's right, I'm gonna be playing two different parts.
I'm gonna be reading two different lines. I'm going to be reading two different lines.
I found this online.
It's pretty easy to search two-person monologue and supposedly funny.
I have not read any of it yet, but of course I have to improvise some of it due to the fact
that one of the characters is a woman.
So we're going to switch that around a bit.
But here we go.
It's called...
Hold on, I had to stop right there.
He says, I did a Google search for a two-person monologue. It wasn't I'll hold on I had to stop right there. He says I did a Google search
For a two person monologue. It wasn't hard to do. I found it and I haven't read it yet
But it's supposed to be funny. So I'm gonna read it now
And then he says I had to improvise because one of the people is a woman. So he doesn't even know what improvise means
No, that's not what improvise means two person monologue on Google? I'm surprised Google doesn't go you'll fucking
In the end. Right
Gugles just say did you mean dialogue? Did you mean two person dialogue?
Tell me because there's no this thing in the two person monologue. I have to read the description of the show
the first sentence is
This episode I read two part of dialogue I found online all by myself.
He says I read two part of dialogue I found online all by myself.
What he's tried to say is I read it all by myself, but he said I found it online all by myself.
Congratulations, shaman.
You're getting bigger every day.
It's unbelievable. All right, let's get back to this,
because this is, I don't even have to talk.
It was funny, because as I was preparing for the show,
today we had extra time, and we're starting late.
And so what I do, Doug, is I put way too much preparation
into the show, it goes on way too long.
He takes me forever to fucking at it.
And I was just grabbing clip after clip after clip
And then I listen to this and I said what am I putting up this work into I can just put this out as my show
And people would love it. All right, let's get back to your tour guide
This is Mike's first day at work for his new job
This is Mike's first day at work for his new job. Oh, jeez, Steve!
Has been assigned as his tour guide to show him around the building and meet co-workers.
How are you doing?
I'm Steven, I'll be your tour guide.
It's not Australian guide!
Oh, hi.
Yeah, so let me show you around this dump.
I don't know why they keep asking me to do this shit, but here we go.
Another tour.
Yay!
Follow me.
They begin walking through the building.
We got it when he said he's at the tour.
Off the bat. Stay away from that guy because he's a cook.
A what? A gook? A Josh ski. What's a
charge? Okay look at him and say the word
charge and it will come together for you. So stay away from him a small one they walk oh yeah
beyond Linda because she likes to fire launch what do you mean yeah she's a
picking roll type picking roll yeah she's uh She digs deep you know pick lick stick and flick you follow
She just tries to her nose oh
She she you got it on me so sit behind her to avoid taking shots to the head on a launch days
That's terrible you got to see it to believe it, honey.
They walk.
Alright, I'm pausing it.
I literally have the entire episode here.
So I have a theory on this, Doug.
So you've heard enough of this now.
Theory, okay, go on.
I have a theory.
I think he wrote this.
I'm pretty sure the Patrick Michael, he goes,
I don't know, I just Googled it,
I found it, it's supposed to be comedy,
I haven't read it yet, I don't know what it is.
And he's like doing all the voice acting
and the character and he's got like the shitty jokes
and he would write, wait a second,
I think maybe you came up with this.
How would you find this?
If you type your own two person dialogue on Google,
this would be like the 45th page at the bottom. I mean this is
madness. Oh my god. I'm glad you're liking it as much as I did so I'm gonna keep playing it
that because this is in this he put this out as an entire podcast outside of this part it's just music before and after. I really like you then. I don't follow. Speaking of which, I'll stick to stairs.
I'm not much into elevators.
Got caught in a elevator once for hours.
But for dead guy.
Dead guy?
Friggin' or attack?
While being stuck in an elevator?
You betcha.
How?
Before we get to the next floor, let me tell you about Marva.
Did you meet Marva?
I met. Yeah.
Okay. We don't get drunk in front of her. Ever.
She's always on the prowl. She likes to go out after dark.
Drinky drinks, and I swear this when I tell you at least three men have come back different.
I think she's a vampire.
They've never been the same since, you know.
For real?
Alright, people are, uh, just heard tell me to stop this. I think I have to it doesn't go anywhere. There's no Payout to this
What is this?
No, I have no idea
Wow is that unbelievable oh man, I can't... I don't know.
This is crazy.
So I want to say on behalf of Doug and myself, Petra Michael, we love that you exist.
We love that you're creating podcasts.
Please keep it up.
Please keep making these podcasts.
Who are these two-person diets?
I love it.
I love it!
He's saying... And by the way, the background noise made no sense.
They're supposedly walking through an office building,
getting a tour from his new job. And it sounds like they're
milling about in a mall or something.
Get in the hot dog at a baseball game during the seventh and
extra. It's.
All right. What else do I have to talk about? Oh, Friends of the Week, of
course. Jeez. What am I doing
here? I'm losing it.
Friends of the week.
Friends of the week. This week's
Friends of the Week comes from our
friend Leo who took a episode of Comtown that was a bonus episode. This is behind the
paywall. And he reached out to Nick Mullen and got his permission for us to use it. We
just going above him. Be got I would say getting permission from the show's host for us to use a bonus episode.
They have a guest on their show whose comedian known as Ian Fightance and Ian Fightance
brings a prop with him to Comtown that Leo was very excited about.
Oh, what is there is a gay clown that is coming to do a show.
Oh my god
Unreal
I'm, this is a bit... It's crazy.
Lee.
Unbelievable.
An anticipation that he'd call you a gay clown thing.
It was just so funny.
He knew.
He knew.
The timing was so spot on.
That's right.
I want to thank Leo because he gave me a reason to bust it out again.
That's right, buddy. We got the slide whistle over here as well. We're always excited to
fight with the show. I would suggest is anyone who's listening to this that gives money to come
10 for that, take that money, give it to Patrick Michael because that is better content than what I just heard here. Can I just say fuck you?
So, it comes down the show and says, hey, we got to support Sam Tripoli.
And now you come on the show and say, give money to Patrick.
Give money to who are these podcasts.
What are you talking about?
I just assumed that was implied.
How dare you!
Tell me when to get money to other shows besides ours.
Oh.
Oh, no.
All right.
That's enough fun with the slide whistle.
Thank you, Leo, for giving me an excuse
to bust that out again.
All right, it's time for I said earlier
that we were doing everyone's favorite part of the show.
Obviously, I was lying. This is everyone's favorite part of the show. Obviously, I was lying.
This is everyone's favorite part of the show.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
This is the part of the show we play a segment of the podcast that we'll be reviewing on next week's episode of who are these podcasts.
It sounds like this.
If you don't like what we tell you to believe in, we'll kill you. My people to be free Future, cup Zionism
You build SS Liberty
I just want you to go home
And for I'm ready to get the bomb
First you must learn this simple truth
Epstein, did he kill him? That's right. Next week I'm going to try to finally get to the Daily Show, which, yeah, Kaya, I hope that you're available next week.
We got a coordinate this. I can be flexible with my schedule. So this has been a suggestion
from many people. I'll give credit to next grotto on our Discord for suggesting the show. This
is a legitimate white supremacist podcast that is anti-Semitic and seems like it'll
be a lot of fun to talk about. I did throw it out to Doug when he stepped in at the last
minute to help us out this week that this was the show we had lined up and it's not
going to be fun to listen to. But I imagine it'll be fun to goof, Fad.
That's what I'm hoping.
I'm pretty, you know, I didn't think I'd be glad to listen to,
I even forgot the show we talked about today,
but you know what, I'm glad I've been on this one.
Yeah, this could get a little bit heavy.
As we figure out who the fuck the audience is for this,
that's scary
I'm not into the NSA
Monitoring what people do and say but I would say if people are downloading this show
Actually, I should say because fucking I the shit that I have to Google for this this podcast
I don't know what people think about me as far as Mark Zuckerberg and Eric Schmidt and whoever else is monitoring
everything I do online, but they must think that I am a terrorist because...
Yeah, no, I'm so good.
I'm not ready to get fired over an appearance on who are these podcasts yet.
So I'm more than happy to fade away after this episode.
Doug, can you come into my office?
Was this you giggling at this person talking about
the Holocaust was a hoax because I would like to think
that the people at this college and this fine university.
All right.
He just looked into my future.
It doesn't look good.
By the way, it's how it's gonna end for all of us.
So we're all gonna lose our jobs.
And I'm working for Patrick Michael
doing an audio.
That'd be amazing.
Like Patrick, you have a lot on your plate.
Can I just work your soundboard for you?
I'll just let me just do that.
You do your thing.
Me and I cram in a closet in that trailer. I'll just be out there
feeding his kids while you guys are producing the podcast. Doug, thank you again so much. You
were fantastic today. I always love talking to you. Anytime somebody backs out at the last minute,
I don't have a lot of time to listen to a show or pull clips or do the
proper research. You can just call on me. I'm more than happy that that's my role here.
You fucking brought it. And I really appreciate that. Let's talk about good times, great
movies, the podcast at you, co-host. What's going on with your show?
Oh, we have just entered a very fun month called Billy D.
Sember.
We're just doing Billy D. Williams movies.
So it's a blast.
I don't know.
If I'm speaking directly to one person who left you a message
about the movie podcast with Paul Sheer, where he-
How did this get made?
Yeah, yeah, where he listened to the,
how did this get made many episode?
Oh, right. We don't do any episodes. So in our show, we don't have ads. Yeah, yeah, where he listened to the how did this get made many episode?
We don't have ads we don't have celebrities or comedians or listeners. Yeah
Such a dick You plug your show and I still have to fucking get a jab in
If people are listening to this podcast, they've heard me mentioned it before and they've decided whether it's a fucking good jab then. Oh, and if people are listening to this podcast,
they've heard me mention it before
and they've decided whether it's worth their time or not.
So check it out if you're new, I guess.
Yeah, definitely check out Good Times Great movies
where Doug and his much more talented,
much more attractive co-hosts.
Our voice is better.
Break down, yes.
Break down.
It's not, it's like the movies.
We have we have slightly more patrons than than Sean Mike. I can call him Sean.
Mike. Are you a she's like fan? I like that. His name is Todd. It's shameless.
It's like go. Whatever. Anyway, now thanks for thanks for bringing me on. I am always happy to
come on. This is this is always way too much fun
That is we had a lot of fun today and please
Join us again next week because I don't know. It might be that's a refund. I want to for all who are these podcasts?
Sleep well every pony
Morning radio
Okay, great show good job everybody. Good job everyone Now the show is called my cow. Hmm, okay. Great show.
Good job, everybody.
Good job, everyone.
That is a great show.
That is a great show.
This dude is fucking corn.
Fuck it, baby.
Stop!
That's cool, bro.
What, what, what? What was that? It's just a try. I
You know who are these podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it makes no sense
We're able to help out your brother-in-law today dog. That's what it is important to me right now Yeah, that was that was a lot of fun. Did you get that done? I put up a lot of drywall and nice.
Spackled.
Oh, you know, I feel like a real man now.
That's impressive.
Yeah, I'll go lift weights later.
All right.
We got to fly through these voicemails because we have a few voicemails to play and talk
about.
Do you ever get to the segment of the show?
I feel like nobody listens to this part, right?
I listen to the whole damn show and Wow. And I'm not just saying
that because I'm impressive. That's impressive. This and I can do it in one sitting.
Last week we talked about that's good to have let us have 15 minute increments.
Right. Last week we talked about this Native American guy who had no sense of humor about himself
or video games or anything in the world but he was also a comedy writer which is
weird to me
and i believe this voice mailer wanted to talk about that
well this uh... native american comedian that uh...
a shitty podcast had on this
start to make me think that the wounded knee massacre was justified.
It's a good joke.
All right, I think it's the same guy calling back again here.
You know, I have to agree with Vic on her last call.
Andy is your greatest co-host.
And when I also feel that Vic is, you know, it's kind of getting a lot of unfair hatred.
So, you know, if she would like to pick up her spirits, you know, it's kind of getting a lot of unfair hatred. So, you know, if she would like to pick up her spirits, you know,
I'd be willing to, you know, throw it in her.
So, yeah, Vic, call me back.
All right.
So, another person who wants to fuck Vic, shocking.
I'm wondering what would happen if you have another female caller?
I guess it's just that Vic's the only one is that why she's getting all this attention
would she have to come up with some sort of new angle or or have a personality if another woman called in?
That's a good question. I think that vicks a little bit of a fireball. It's not just that she's a
female listener
She's also pretty funny usually when she calls in she got an attitude about her she carries herself in a certain way
That apparently turns on all the in cells in the audience for w-a-t-b
Why don't I skip to VIX call because she does call back into the show?
Hey Carl, it's thick. Your favorite little boy. You're right. I did drop my balls last week,
but at least, you know, I'm only so little consistent because you, sir, boomer-ass
mother-fucker, have been slacking on the show for your band the ice-softly
i can't believe it
you have been working on your singing voice
and disregarding the show because it hasn't been that good lately
uh... fuck you boomer boy
alright that's always fun to hear
i always love it uh... shall i send in that great lately oh okay
so i just
i spent all of our work at it
this pretty funny
that gets pretty funny. Yeah. That
gets pretty funny. I like that. Yeah. I'm wrong. And speaking of Vic, apparently she
becomes a man as boys often do.
I think Carl, this is Victor Rodriguez. Just calling to let everybody know my balls drops.
So you can stop calling me now. So apparently I said that Victor off the ball on her last voicemail and that spawned a couple of copycat jokes
All right, I don't know what this is as I'm gonna do with WATP merchandise
Hey, it's me Carl from who be both these podcasts
Anyways, make sure to do all of your holiday shopping at who are
these.com where you can get something for your family. Remember that
features a fucking trash can wearing headphones. Great holiday gift. And one
thing I want to tackle real quick, I'll be hate on Australians. Who cares? Their
country should have fell off the fucking face of the years. A lot of time ago.
What we really need to get behind the tackle is the French they gave us nothing
I mean sure an apple tower I guess croissant the bad stereo lab is pretty cool
But they should go fuck themselves. I mean
They should go all fuck them
Fuck the fray
Oh, so there comes doing impression of you to begin
Yeah, that's what I thought it was funny about that call.
And I do curate this, but he starts off by saying,
hey, I'm caro and I want to say,
should he merchandise his holiday, guess what he goes?
And by the way, fuck French people.
What?
What just happened?
But if you got to get a couple different topics into one call,
that's the way to transition. That was well done.
We haven't talked about Vic enough.
Apparently she does have fans.
Hey, this is Kim from San Diego.
I like Vic.
I can tell she's hot.
Tell Vic to keep calling in.
Wow.
Bye-bye.
Pretty sure that person was masturbating.
All right.
All right, here's another fun, go.
Hey, because the room's gone.
Just giving me a call, but I'm looking into, uh, so, 183, when you guys are, uh, doing the
OPEN and Anthony, or not OPEN, but anyways, the OP Show button review, um, you mentioned,
uh, OPEN said the phrase, shwuggy.
Yeah.
I just wanted to call one, you know, I Google that. On Urban Dictionary,
there's a definition that says for shwugi, it refers, and it was what it said, that it refers
to the Open and Anthony show, was what their old boss, Brucey, I don't know who the fuck that is,
or if that's true, but maybe you'll know, At the radio station, WAAF, which you did,
he was talking about in Boston, apparently that's what
he would call black people.
And there's just like the top definition was
a number of African-American raised,
and then like another definition was
a discrete way of calling somebody the N word.
So I figured it was calling in,
which he did that thumb a little bit and yeah, come back. All right, sir. Thank you for
Googling things for us. Very helpful. If we can get all of our listeners
Googling things. I was gonna say that word just sounds racist. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
I didn't have an old explanation on it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it didn't mean
upstanding citizens.
So I was pretty sure about that.
There's a lot of backstory with that too.
Some boss of theirs and a different station.
You went out for Jesus.
Whatever.
It's funny when you don't know a word.
You can just figure it out from the context.
I kind of understood what the point of that story was. The guy was a racist. All right, we got it.
Here is someone who likes Andy.
Hey, girl. This boy smells grand. I mean, fucking goddamn it, dude. I was always fucking hated you, Andy. I mean, Jesus Christ, I always just like to do the coast
for your lived tartness in the past, that's the,
and usually the only thing about it
is being on the episode is for the clip car play
is introing you from come town.
That it's literally the only thing I look forward
to you being on the podcast.
It's hearing that fucking clip.
And, but you're doing great on episode 183 until until it got to the voice no
section or some color gave Nick the 12 year old boy from shit for being a woman
and you just went straight for the old fucking oh I used to smoke in you
still you're goddamn typical live-tart stupid idiot.
Oh fuck yourself.
I think you're thinking of Andy's brother Joe. Andy's a good guy and speaking of Andy.
Guys from fan of Andy. I guess you have very good views. I have nothing but question marks in my notes for that voice.
Well, literally I'm looking at question marks and this is someone else who wants to pick on one of Andy's jokes from last week. Hey Carl, some of the tips and tips, well let you know your guest notes there, fuck up
the Asian picture joke there. It's not that it's full of plants, it's all planted. What
you said doesn't make sense. What I said is funny. What a thought in re-tards. I've done
that. I'm pretty funny. Oh well fucking retard. I'm not that bad.
I'm pretty funny.
Oh, so that car will talk about my predictor.
I love that Andy has, most people want Andy.
He is beloved on the show.
But he definitely causes controversy.
I don't know why.
You think about this?
I don't know why either.
I think I, I'm the shimmy bulldog.
I'm not sure that.
I'm like, you've had no offense
And I'm talking about myself. You've had worse guests than Andy
I don't understand why everybody seems to hate him. I don't know
No, I think it's great. No, it's it's not the people hate him. I love people love him
But I don't get this type of reaction from other co-hosts. They nitpick everything.
You're a rad-
And word next week about me being on your-
No delivery!
Remember who is the co-host in this episode?
No.
All right.
A couple more things to play here.
Uh-oh.
Did someone get dropped by Deep Discount?
Yep.
This is the one time where I'll actually say, thank you, deep discount for dropping global
podcast as a sponsor.
Yeah, deep discount.
If they were still interested in our show, I think that would have been on around the
holiday time.
But yeah, I don't want to take credit for anything.
But I was on the last episode
Where we advertise for deep discounts. Oh, yeah, and and I can't help but think it was because in the middle of the ad
I started talking about Territz or Quentin Tarantino jerking off to blaze PlayStation movies
I am not saying and it had anything to do with that
You cause just curious you cost me thousands of dollars mother fucker
Thanks for nothing you know it's funny too because deep discount was just one of the
advertisers I was presented with and I said I'm not a big movie fan like you are
sounds like I mean I can try to talk about DVDs I'm not going to be the best at
that but then there was also these online gambling sites
that were showing interest.
And I'm like, I gamble on sports every week.
I could talk about that a lot.
Can we please get one of those sites on here?
Because I wouldn't need Doug to help carry my ad read for me
if we were talking about the wine in the Bill's Steelers game this Sunday night
Whatever
Whatever thank your quarterback there. He really helped me out this season in fantasy got me to the playoffs
I appreciate that no shit. What's yeah, you know what? Let's talk about our fantasy teams for the next 27 minutes
Yeah, so I'm in the semi finals in both of my leagues
All right, good
This is this is the last
Voice man, I want to play
Yeah Yeah, I'm here and I'm liking the stuff. I love jelly ranch arrows. That's a good son.
We got under a thousand listens on most of these songs.
And I'm going to be a few monthly listeners.
Yeah.
Yeah.
W-A-T-P. Let's get that up to 150 by the end of the year.
Yeah.
I have a good one, Carl. Bye.
Anthony from Boston. up to 150 by the end of the year. Yeah. I have a good one, Carol. Bye.
Anthony from Boston.
Thank you very much, buddy.
The isotopes are available on Spotify.
And we get those sweet, sweet Spotify checks that come in the mail.
And I got to tell you guys, it is so amazing when you see that,
I don't know, dozens of people in Japan
listen to your music and you made
0.002 cents from that it's very rewarding I get I get very excited about it so please keep listening
to the ice notes and by the way there's two the isotopes on Spotify one of them is from Vancouver
and they are a punk band that only sings about baseball, which is weird because Vancouver, not a baseball town.
But for some reason, there's a Vancouver isotopes
that sings about baseball.
We do not do that.
We play all that awesome instrumental rock and roll
that you heard if you were on the Discord
while I was taking a P-Break.
Right, songs without words.
Just, just, Songs without words. Just, just, this hilarious banter that the folks from
the big bad sadcast start off their show with. Yeah, and Brian's from Connecticut, which
is a really healthy state. Yeah, such a healthy. Everyone's jogging there constantly. Yeah.
There's no public transportation. While I go to the bathroom I'm going to play some ice
and toast Christmas music for all the listeners to fill the time I will be
right back. That's fine I'll just talk over here. I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna home, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna go home, I'm not good I'm gonna go for it! You're the best! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪