Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep189 - Minor Adventures with Topher Grace
Episode Date: January 19, 2020The guy from That 70's Show who isn't a scientologist/rapist is doing something even worse, making a boring podcast. We listened to an episode where they write and perform slam poetry. It's like they'...re daring people to listen. Vinnie Paulino joins the show and offers his thoughts on Opie, Yakov Smirnoff, Artie Lange's interview style, Tim Sabean's beef with Howard Stern, and Patrick Michael's opinions of our reviews. I think Vic gets some airtime, too. Support the show and get bonus episodes - http://bit.ly/watp-patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
Slapperoonie!
The point of the show is this Boomer guy named Carl sits down with a podcast and he takes
about like a dozen mildly embarrassing clips of a show and then he plays them out of context,
then he plays a bunch of family guy sound board clips at the end of it.
That sounds like great humor, great content creation. Who are there's not cast?
Hey!
Who are these podcasts?
Who are these podcasts?
Who are these podcasts? CiÄ™ sÄ… te podcasty. All these podcasts at showtime. No, stop. Listen. Yeah.
WATP.
W-A-T-P.
You're never going to be a professional.
Hello, bag slappers and Couser Roo's.
Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
The number one podcast in all of Detroit.
I'm your host, Carl, with me this week, host of the comedy
at the Carlson Cast Vinnie Pauline.
Welcome back. Hey, how let's go. Go to who are these calm? Get our email address,
voice mail number, link to our subreddit, link to the discord server, link to our merchandise,
and of course, the link to our Patreon where you two can be a cousin, or a bag
slapper and support the show, getting a bonus episode every single month. We also encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review on iTunes
and then shit all over us in the comments section. I have not read reviews in months.
We're gonna remedy that today. Oh boy. I'm excited. We have a new segment a new bit that we're gonna do on the show.
Before we get to that and before we talk about Yakov Smirnoff
with my buddy OP
And before we talk about Yakov Smirnoff with my buddy OP.
And before we talk about what's the latest with Stuttering John and the Anthony and OP Fyud
and Edgar talking about who are these podcasts
before we get to all of those things,
we'll be reviewing a podcast called Minor Adventures
with Tofer Grace.
It sounds terrible, but it's actually way better
than the podcast minor adventures with Jeffrey
Epstein.
This was a suggestion that came in from...
I like the way I needed the other one better.
This is a suggestion that came in from Trillade.
We have both listened to the show separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is a podcast hosted by Tofer Grace from that 70s show.
Some sidekick named Sam who sounds exactly like him,
and the episode we listen to had a guest actress
named Lauren Leppkus.
So Vinnie, did you listen to this specific episode
that we were talking about?
You know I did, Carl, that's why I'm not smiling.
Okay, perfect.
I didn't get too much into this Tofer Grace show.
Basically the premise is this. He brings
in a guest and rather than just have a boring fun, fast interview like a lot of these celebrities
do, they play some kind of game. They go on this adventure together.
Now, my thought was this. Yeah. Good on him for trying to come up with something. Agreed.
Something original that not everybody is doing. Yeah.
Until you closely analyze what he's doing.
And you realize it's exactly what they do on morning news all over the country.
Right.
There's a reason why no one else has adopted this format.
It's terrible.
Correct.
So let me play you the setup.
So they bring in this woman.
They have a little friendly light banter for seven or eight minutes.
And then they set up what's the meat of this episode? We are going to go adventuring into the world of slam poetry. Oh, fuck.
Oh my god. So, so let me tell you something. That's our best reaction we've had so far.
Yeah, I love that reaction. So we have she-han van Van Cleef, and let me tell you about She-Hon.
He's sitting over there.
He is the first and only poet
to have a poem named Download of the Week on iTunes.
He's a national poetry slam champion
and four time national poetry slam finalist.
And we're gonna learn how to do it.
We're gonna actually do one ourselves and record one
and put it out there.
And we're all gonna be slam poets.
Four-time, finalist, one time,
he touched the gold, Carl.
Good on sheer hand.
Can you fucking believe they got a professional slam poet
to be on this show?
I wonder who his sponsors are.
I wonder who he has to wear on his jacket
as he does his slam poetry. Dictionary.com. Right, he has to wear out his jacket as he does. Yeah, right.
poetry dictionary.com. Right.
He's a professional slam poet. Okay.
I I find the slam poetry thing to be slightly.
I mean, I guess it's art.
Poetry has been art since the dawn of time.
Sure.
Any asshole could write a poem.
It couldn't look at any of the Valentine's Day cards.
I gave my mom through eighth grade, you know.
I have.
Eddie, let's get over to you.
She showed me.
I couldn't imagine something that's more cringy
than people writing and then reciting a poem.
And I guess that's what they're going for here
is the cringed factor,
but I don't find it entertaining in any single way.
Well, you know, if it was cringeworthy
that led to a payoff,
right, then it's something completely different.
Let's talk about this show's version of payoffs
because there is no humor to be found
despite a lot of laughter.
I would prefer that you put a microphone up
to a glass of milk.
This is, Toe for Grace is very excited about.
There was a slam poetry bit done
in the movie 22 Jump Street,
which I believe is the sequel to 21 Jump Street.
How clever is that?
The quoting the sequel.
Yes.
Good.
Good stuff.
So he makes it be known that he was really excited about this one scene that featured
slam poetry.
Do you remember John and Hell?
This is my favorite joke from 22 Jump Street.
What he goes?
Yelling.
Yelling.
Yelling is, he just like says what he's doing,
but it's in slam poetry.
I love that story.
So this is what we're talking about.
I think someone's angling for a part in 23rd time.
We're talking about actors who just recite lines
that have been written for them well.
That's what their talent is.
And now they're going to have been written for them well. That's what their talent is. And now they're gonna have a conversation
about slam poetry.
The first thing this guy thinks of,
you ever see that movie where there's that part?
That's really funny.
And it's not funny.
Nope.
It's just awkward.
Nope.
So they bring on this guy who is all into slam poetry
just fucking life.
He's a champion.
He's a champion for Christ's sake.
Download it in the week. Wow. Don't for grace. Ask him a champion for Christ's sake. Download of the week.
And, tofra Grace, ask him the same question.
You ever seen that part of that movie?
Hey, before we get into it, another question.
Did you see the slam poetry thing in 22 Jump Street?
Because I think it's one of the best girls.
Yes, I did.
All time.
Yes, I did.
Did you think it was funny?
Yeah, I did think it was funny.
Yeah, I don't get offended.
At least not anymore.
When I was young, when I first got in the scene,
I'd get offended.
But that actually is a good joke. Because it's, this is what new people are like when they show up. They're horrible, right?
He's not pretending to do that Chris Farley bet. He's literally doing it
Did you see that thing? Did you think it was funny? It was funny, right? I thought that was funny
What I found to be even stranger there was the actual answer. Well, I don't get offended by
What's to be offended by you, Lutus? That's a good point. No, I thought that was fucked up.
Joe, the hill's up.
I fucking list, man.
Not cool.
Chaddy Tatum, what do you mean?
You're gonna sit there and say that what we do is just
talky loud and explain what we're doing.
It rived.
Let's talk about the fact that slam poetry sounds terrible.
So they bring this guy on and they put him on the spot like you're the best at this give us an example
And so this is the best this is what would be the
Peak of what you could do in the realm of slam party you ready for this video?
Strap it kids. Strap it. Holy shit. Can you do a little something?
I was gonna say the best way. Let just, I have you do something first,
and then we can learn how to do it,
and you can teach us.
You look nervous, okay, this is good.
Yeah, good, that's scary actually.
So my mother tells me I have a gift
when it comes to this writing stuff,
but I'm left-handed.
So I guess I write words with the wrong hands
and the right measure, the wrong people,
and I swear, I will talk myself to death
if I don't find salvation to no at least.
Too good is I will hear my problems if you give me lord
But I came to the realization early life that I did not need religion to make me feel any worse about myself
But don't get me wrong
This right now
I have tears, but that was good
Fucking thing, shock
She has tears, no car
She will start crying
Yes, it's uncomfortable.
I got it.
She wants to be anywhere else in the world at that time.
I get it.
But don't act like that moved you or touched you somehow.
I was not impressive.
And anyway, the point was just he's angry at religion.
I don't understand what the point of it was.
I think he's also left-handed.
Yeah, so he has a devil in it. That guy crossed.
Right.
The nuns used to hit him.
This guy would be a lot of fun to hang out with.
I'd love to get his take at the side of it.
Well, I think he would because he doesn't get offended easily.
Right, yeah, he thinks jokes are funny.
So that's how he's good.
So he's like people like that.
So this exercise that they go through on this show,
Vanny, as you know, because you've listened to this,
is they sit down and write their own slam poems.
They certainly do, Kyle.
Am I saying this right, slam poems?
Is that what they're called?
Shit, you could just call that right their own shit.
Do they have to describe what a slam poem is?
No, not at any point did they describe what consists.
Like, if you were sitting down to write high coups,
so it's played you how it works.
This was just like like here's words
Put them in each line stupid actually
There is a point where he talks about the rules because he's trying to help tofer with his poem
Okay, and he goes through the rules of slam poetry because I you know like you said there's there's high coup
There's very specific rules limits very specific rules to these things sure
So what are the rules to slam poetry?
It's actually hard not to have it rhyme. You spent so much time in school doing bullshit.
Well, the thing is you can't, you can rhyme, but then it's fine even if you start
what rhyme and then it ends into something else because what it, this is like the levels
that you start fucking making up is that you start what a rhyme and you're now breaking
out of the structure to have the actual adventure.
Like the last two lines, the last two lines don't rhyme.
All right, so the rules are, there are no rules,
which is always good when you have an art form
that you're doing.
I understand.
Whatever you want, we'll call a slam poach.
I understood his poem.
Better than I understood him explaining
the rules of the poetry.
Right, what was it?
He's not making up your own levels.
Where does the word slam come from?
What part of this is slamming?
It sounds like at some point they just tried to rebrand poetry. I think you're right
It's spoken word is what it is. It's spoken word with a fucking attitude I guess is that what it is?
Sassy it's a little sassy a guy like me can't do it. Is that what the slam poetry thing is?
I think you marvelous. Wow. Thanks Betty. Let's get into that fucking reassurance shit that goes out in the show
Oh, I feel positive after listening to this. Let's listen into that fucking reassurance shit that goes out in the show. Oh, I feel positive after listening to this
Let's listen to Lauren's poem
So Lauren writes this is the game. They play he says you're gonna write down five lines
The first one is have this word the second I said this word so he gives them five words and they have to work into their poem
All right, so there's this is a second exercise that they do to learn how to do this
So this is Lauren's poem. And just listen to how amazed everyone is at the sheer genius
that is Lauren's poem that you came up with in 32 seconds.
Every morning I wake up hoping for an adventure
but expecting the expected.
Shadows of nightmares lingering in my eyelids,
the safety of home surrounds me and I enter reality.
The minor shifts it takes to remember
what is true and what's imagined,
the deep blueness within a baits.
See?
Whoa.
That's it. See if I heard you.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Oh, shit.
That's a minute.
Wow.
Blown away by that.
That's, that's, I don't know.
Well, I'm funny back tears.
Did you hear the reaction that it's so fucking over the top you know they're lying
there besides themselves with how amazed they are at this poem she just read.
I can relate I woke up this morning too.
You have eyelids?
No fucking shit so do I close them at night time you do too?
What is a baitsmeab they all just look to you.
Sound smart I don't know. So this is how I know for a fact that that poem sucked
because they prove it right afterwards
by telling her to read it backwards.
So if you read it line by line in reverse order.
All right, you want to hear it again?
Start from the last slide.
There you go.
Oh shit, I'm kind of excited about that.
The deep blueness within a baits.
The minor shifts it takes to remember
what is true and what's imagined.
The safety of home surrounds me and I enter reality.
Shadows of nightmares lingering in my eyelids.
Every morning I wake up hoping for an adventure but expecting the expected.
Oh, damn that's even better!
That is better!
So wait a second.
She wrote this thing that's supposed to be emotional and heartfelt, and when she reversed
the order it was better.
One other piece of art is better when it's the opposite of what you did the first time.
One other art is there like that.
That's an amazing point.
What the fuck do we talk?
Have you ever heard like a songwriter say I wrote this song and then I decided just
do the opposite of that.
Do you know what the most valuable lesson I ever learned in my life was?
What's that?
When I was like in seventh grade, I want a blue ribbon in an art contest.
No shit.
Yes I want to say I think I have a drop for that.
Yeah, I'll pass you by.
But I'll take that.
Hold on.
The reason what I painted Carl was I literally did like a Jackson Pollock before I had any
idea who Jackson Pollock was.
I threw paint at paper because I didn't care.
Right. I didn't put no effort into this.
Yeah, I threw shit.
Next thing I know, it won a blue ribbon.
It was just complete no effort garbage.
But yet, people still for some reason
line up and appreciate trash.
That is the greatest lesson I've ever learned in my life.
Thank you.
Could it be, Vinnie, that you just have a gift
that you have yet to explore?
No!
I'm so on towel tape!
You actually emailed me clips.
The last time you were on the show,
you showed up with an empty thumb drive.
This time you emailed me clips
I had them on the board,
are there any from this show
that we need to get into at this time?
Well, part of the things that I always like
to basically critique is the hosting of the show.
Yes.
And part of what drove me nuts was this Tofer Grace
is a bowl of vanilla ice cream.
Everything he does is-
There is no sprinkled to be found.
That is sprinkled not a cherry,
not a drop of that chocolate sweet chocolate syrup.
He's just, ha ha ha, that's great, everything is great.
But then he goes into basically dead lecturing at times.
Or he'll say things like hit Boomer one.
All right.
I'm older than you, but in my generation,
the show like that, he says.
But anyway, too.
I, because he's talking about his age and her age,
I had to look it up.
He's 41, she's 34.
Yes.
It's not like, I listen, you kids,
you don't even know what I went through.
All right, next one.
Like, I'm the age.
Like, the kids want it.
Like, he just talks like that to the whole thing.
Like, everything is going back and talking about the kids
in this day.
Is it because people know him as a teenager on a sitcom
that he has to keep telling people
that he's older than that now?
It must be.
Right, he must have some kind of...
There is a level...
Issue.
There is a level of self-awareness.
Okay.
If you look up bad movies, he makes a good point.
Lame.
Oh, you did the wrong one!
Have you ever seen someone else do this for you?
No!
F**k it up!
No, but he basically says, I've been into a lot of bad movies.
He knows. He brings it up. I'm proud of them for that
That's good. I'll give him credit. I think every actor
Says they're in bad movies because they want to distance themselves from a bad script or bad directing
But then as soon as somebody writes a great script for them and they win in the ward
All of a sudden it's like how many amazing act it's it works both ways. It's perfect
Okay, so you know how I work for a comedy club
I do okay
One of the things that drives me nuts are the comedy business and most people follow stand-up closely is that there's celebrities
Who always try to hoard their way to stand up?
Sturdy people who just think they can do because they have a little bit of a name that they do stand up right?
I'm gonna give to for grace credit. I believe he was pitched doing stand-up.
I think somebody may have pitched him
because he made this one little comment.
Uh, understand up.
I'm gonna give him credit for this.
I'm really scared of doing stand-up.
And Slam Poetry sounds like the next worst thing.
So, yes.
He says that stand-up is very scary to him.
So he hasn't done it.
I feel like somebody must have approached him at some point
and be like, you know what you ought to do.
Is you ought to just do stand- up and he settled on a podcast Carl
He had enough self-awareness to understand that no one's going to laugh at his jokes correct unless
He gets Lauren Lapkes out of show as I'm about to play you an example
This is from the friendly banter to start the show. Oh, I've got two clips from her friendly banter
Listen to this retard,
giggle at every fucking utterance out of this guy's mouth
and try to count how many giggles there are
just in this one clip.
And by the way, it's gonna sound like I sweetened it.
I did not.
It's gonna sound like I pulled clips from multiple parts
of the show, pulled it together.
I did not.
This is 42nd straight of this show
and it will drive you insane
Yeah, let me just say hi to your brother and your folks because I can see what's going on
I one time said to my mom, you know, I think I'd do better as an actor if I said I had like an abusive child
And she like broke her heart you like why would you say that?
I was like it just it would play better like I
To hear something my mom kept me in a for probably she's listening to this podcast shout out to pack raise hello and
She did not put me to broom closet wonderful woman your parents sound right your brother seems
Maybe I'm just gonna say a little withholding that you just literally go to the blockbuster of his youth
Jurassic Park
I can't fucking take it
What the fuck is going on there? This is what your time I was vanilla ice cream.
You have this person who's uncomfortably giggling at everything this guy's saying because
none of it's interesting.
Not even a little bit.
Not even close to entertaining at all.
Which is fine.
If you have someone over to your house and you greet them at the door, you don't have
to have a fucking home run loaded up. But you're on a fucking show.
How many times I didn't explain this to people?
You're doing a show.
She kind of tricked me out of the gate, too.
This is Lauren Lapkes.
Because listening to her talk, he asked her,
like, what you were a kid, who did you want to be like?
Ah, yes.
And there's a clip I have there.
Spade-wise.
That's the one.
All right.
Who did you, I had a feeling?
Who did you want to be first when you were copying someone else?
Yeah.
Um, really, it's...
I've always said, like, David Spade was one of my favorite people ever, and I just got to do a movie with him, so I was so excited.
Oh my God, that's fantastic.
And you don't admire David Spade, you wanted to plug your movie.
But part from that, I'm listening to this, and I'm going, David Spade.
You know what?
Spade is kind of like a cool guy.
Like I mean you go back and you think in Tommy Boy the stuff he did with Farley where he played that little shit.
You kind of got to love David Spade. He's the reason why Eddie Murphy didn't do SNL until just this past month.
Sure. I mean David Spade's a little shit habit. You got to love him. Now, but hold on, I want to place him because I have a clip that goes right after that.
I have one too. Oh, okay. Well, now I won't put in your way. No, no, no, no
I don't want to mess up yours, but oh you got a chocolate. It is okay
All right, but she talks about how David Spade is influence. Yeah, sorry. Influenced her sense of humor
I was so
Agri and disgusted after the sentence and by the way
She is described as a comedian. I just wanna throw that out to you. She is an actress and a comedian.
Cumer was just much more like biting,
but now I feel like it's just like-
Like you mean example of you in high school, like?
I mean, I don't like making fun of people, I guess.
Like my friends, but I mean, it's like, you know,
like in a way where people are having fun,
no one was like, fuck you, I hate you,
that really hurt my feelings.
Yeah.
Oh, I had the same clip.
And it's so, It takes everything out of you.
When you hear this person talk about how their sarcastic wit was great because it didn't
hurt anyone's feelings.
Oh really?
It was safe?
Sounds like awesome sarcasm.
Hey!
Nice shoes!
The elbow jab, yeah.
Like, oh the worst fucking a now let's be honest
She sounds like she was probably a cunt who ripped on people but now she's pretending that no
No, it was always good fun. I'm probably fucking hated her. She's frightened of being me, too
Right right. I mean I would like her way better
And she just come out and say that she harassed people
all through high school,
because then we have something in common.
But unfortunately, that's not what's going on here.
Like if she was that person,
she would just be not giggling at Tofer Gray.
She would be like, what are you talking about?
She would just give him shit.
It's the worst.
All right, I want to talk about their ad reads because it's this it's
tofer in Sam. Like the ad reads are obviously recorded at a different time and
then thrown into the show, right? So I don't know if the Sam guy is. And I can't tell
who's talking. But from time to time, you mean there's another dude? There is. It's
you wouldn't even know. It just sounded like it blended in. It did. So here's an example of that.
And I call this just read the copy,
because you can't improv.
No one wants to hear your interesting tale
on why you would support this sponsor.
It's not interesting.
First of all, I can't cook.
So my wife, by the way, I could probably handle this
because it's so easy, but my wife is a very good cook and we get it delivered and
She is cooking and I mean it's done within a couple minutes. It makes it feel like it's a whole kind of like a restaurant meal
And I feel like I'm in the movie of
Some you know like a character that's got a shit together. You know what I mean? I like that
I like that. No, I'm feeling the same way. I'm actually feeling like
I'm getting the habit of vegetables I'm actually feeling like I'm getting in the habit of eating vegetables because they're
really cool.
Right, that's what I mean.
It's like you're having a full meal instead of like kind of that same meal that you like
all the time that you can make.
What the fuck are they even talking about?
So this is an ad for my wife's a good talk.
This is that the food is good and then I eat it and I'll tell you I feel successful.
I had a vegetable and I felt like I was in a movie playing a guy
Who eats vegetables?
This is an ad read for frozen food by the way you
Warmer up in the market that joking you warm it up in the microwave this guy's like I feel like an adult when I eat this shit
Like you do you shoot it fucking cook food like an adult what do you show like an astronaut you dummy?
Cuz like it's what it is. It's just my wife's a great cook. She puts it in the microwave
She rotates it halfway through. It's amazing. She does the thing when she takes it out and stirs it like they tell you to out the box
Yeah, she only rips the peel off a little bit and then she takes out the rest of the way
She's got it all figured out. My kids are gonna be big and strong.
All right, at one point though,
early out of the show, I don't wanna be caught this.
There was a very edgy ad read,
which seemed way out of place
for what was going on in the show.
So next time we do an ad read for CUM,
we'll talk about your experience.
Do that?
That's something they're doing in ad read for CUM to you.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up to get yourself some blue prids of life
All over like I mean what is the read here? It was for a thing called calm
C-A-L-M. Oh, and I don't think they pronounce it right on that one right okay
Let's talk about
This idea that they're doing the slam poetry
Toe for Grace reads his he's very unsure of himself and very uncomfortable most actors are very unsure of themselves traditionally
Yeah, well
After did he go is it good? He should be good very unsure of himself with this one
But this is what I think annoyed both you and I the most is this fake
Artificial we're all in this together, we're all rooting for each other nonsense,
that is the opposite of interesting
or entertaining to listen to,
and they have to make them feel better immediately
because he doesn't feel good about himself.
Aw, it's okay, Toefer.
Spider-Man 3 wasn't that bad.
Yes, it was.
Yes, it was, you stink.
But I move around like an army brat jumping from major cord to minor.
But when I'm blue, I just pack up and move into the future.
I didn't. I thought that was good.
I think you read it differently.
You read it. You read it the way you ended those last couple of lines.
It would have sounded like a.
Did you hear how the professional trailed off?
I think if you would have read it, it would have given me.
He couldn't even complete the sentence.
And the way that Lauren started out was by saying,
I did it, dang, I went with, was, uh,
the guys, it's fine, it sucks.
I gotta be honest with you, I'm trying to figure out
what that even means, but it sounds like he just leaves
his family behind.
I don't know what that pole even meant.
I don't think anybody else would have thought
that I just move on when I get the blues. And then the future. And it's like,
well, Tofer, you'll never be more famous than you were when you were on that
70s show. That's for sure. Let's not look at the future all that
much. You might want to look at the past like Senator John does. Listen, Captain
character actor. All right. So this podcast, taking to do it. They go through this
bit where they write their poems
with those five words like I talked about,
and they decide that we need to do something else
to fill more time because they have more ad reads to get to.
So they come up with another template
for writing slam poetry.
Oh, so there's another way to do it.
Yeah, so another, like just a template for writing a piece.
It's just, they say, I say piece.
So basically the first line is they say,
you're not funny.
I say I'm the funny one.
I'm the one of them.
They say, and you just have,
just a stream of consciousness sort of pain relief.
So they say, I say, just go back and forth.
They say, I say, and you're good to go.
All right.
So you hear them?
They start scribbling down their poems.
All right, all right. They say, I say, okay, okay, okay, I They start scribbling down their poems. Alright, alright.
They say, I say, okay, okay, okay, I got this.
I call this clip.
They say podcasted as a waste of time.
I say, yeah, I say, yeah, my Lord's coming over
and we're gonna write poems.
I don't use this phrase loosely.
I call this clip big oof.
Okay. They say, count your blessings. I say, I can oof. Okay.
They say count your blessings.
I say I can't count that high.
They say you'll go far.
I say I'm already gone so far.
You can't even see me anymore.
They say live every day fully.
I say if I was more alive than I'd be a ghost.
They say you need to know yourself.
I say I'm an expert in the field.
They say you're not alone in this world.
They say you're not alone in this world.
I say I'm not long for it anyway.
Well, it's great.
That was deep.
That was deep. That was great.
For me.
It was neither great nor deep.
That was neither of those things.
So you are not so sistic if it was anything.
You would think that after she read that, you'd go, okay, we might edit that out in
posts, but whatever.
We'll move on and keep going.
No, they come back and have her perform that same fucking poem at the end because apparently
part of slam poetry is that, like you said, you have to have like some kind of fucking
attitude or something on it's sad.
Yeah, it's just sassy.
It's just, so here's your sassy.
Just do that sassy.
Yeah, here's your sassy performance.
Ready?
They say counter blessings. I say I can't count that high.
They say you'll go far.
I say I'm already gone so far.
You can't see me anymore.
They say live every day fully.
I say if I was anymore alive, I'd be a ghost.
Boo!
Bitty, I don't want to be here.
I don't want to move you to either.
We both had literally we both had our head in our hands.
Oh!
Oh, that's so...
I really like the...
Could you play it one more time for me, Carl?
It's off the board.
It's off the board.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
One more time.
Look me the ice we play.
It's off the board.
Oh, I don't want one more time.
I do have an ice-o from this show and I say, I say a lot.
I say, oh, I'm going to use this in future WATPs and then you never hear it again. This one's sticking out the board. I do have an ISO from this show and I say I say a lot. I say oh I'm gonna use this in future WATPs and then you never hear it again. This one's
sticking out the board. It is like so barely a joke. Perfect. Oh this is great
too. For some reason they're talking about the fact that you might be
feeling things that you're not doing a great job at communicating. And this seems like a pretty
basic concept, but this slam poem guy has a great metaphor to explain how to get your
art out and across the people. One of my friends told me this thing one time where he asked
me what I was thinking about it. And I go, yeah, my head, it's like, and he goes, okay,
pick a number between one and 10, right, pick a number between what it is.
Don't tell me what it is.
Pick a number two, what it is.
You have it, right?
I don't, so it doesn't mean shit.
What's in your head, you have to get it out.
And I was like, that makes so much fucking sense.
If it's in my head and it never gets out,
then it's just the fucking no, no.
You needed that to understand the concept
of people can't read your mind.
You didn't understand that concept,
like people don't know what you're saying.
You know what this podcast was,
Vinnie, if I had to sum it up, middle school.
You ever go to like, uh, English class in middle school?
You know I didn't, obviously not.
You ever hear about it,
and your friends tell you about what you missed.
It's so uncomfortable. Tomorrow the assignment is you're gonna write a poem that's emotional.
It talks about your life and your story. And we're gonna get up in front of class and read them.
And then we're all gonna fucking congratulate each other as if this is some fucking bold thing we're doing.
This is a real show of the dolls.
That's by the way the reason why we're reviewing this show.
It's one of the top podcasts in iTunes.
This is?
Yes.
This is why Drew Lane told us to listen to this show.
What category is this under?
Comedy!
Oh no.
Vity, this is what I'm saying to you.
This is the problem that I'm running into.
Is that you listen to a show like this and you go,
okay, well, everyone has a podcast.
Whatever.
I could see this being under lifestyle
It's under comedy under comedy well they do have like Anthony Jessel neck on and Nick crawl and there's episodes where there's people that I really admire
Slam poetry dude. I thought you'd come with some slamps for us. Yeah, you're sassy attitude going
I'm so far gone. I'm already down here
This is like
They do spoken word open mics around town and I've seen it. It's not entertaining, no one goes to it.
It's not like it's even in a popular art form.
Like I don't know how you pick to spend your day doing this.
You just reminded me of something.
I just remind me to talk about this
before the end of the show.
Last night I went out with Twitch streamers.
Is that what you would call it?
People are famous on Twitch.
Sure. Traveling the country happened to be coming through Rochester last night.
Okay.
And I went out with them and they were streaming our evening together for hours
to their their Twitch viewers. Anyway, moving on.
Uh-huh. How interested.
One more thing that I want to play for you. And this is the way that doing
slam poetry
makes Lauren feel.
I think I can.
I have this feeling, like I feel like I'm in school.
And it's like this nervous energy within me
that I don't feel in my day to day life
that is like so vulnerable.
All right, you know what that is?
It's not being vulnerable.
It's called embarrassment.
It's completely appropriate.
You should feel very embarrassed to be on this show.
She just passed him a note that said, do you like me with little boxes? No, just said, can I go?
Yes! Maybe.
He said, are we done now? Yeah.
You're not gonna have a little note says, you're not gonna air this, are you?
Yeah.
Yeah, she, I mean, good for all of you.
Great job.
You all did it.
Congratulations.
Who's the audience for this?
I gotta think that it's boring people.
Yep.
Right?
Boring people who need friends.
Yep.
People, someone who looked at the iTunes listing
and was such a fan of Tofer Grace's body of work
that they clicked on this.
Yeah. That's who they are. such a fan of Tofer Grace's body of work that they clicked on this.
Yeah.
That's who they are.
The people who loved Winna date with Ted Hamilton.
And the only reason I know he was in that
is because I am to beat him.
Very enough.
Well, you're like fucking shameless level of podcasts.
You can use IMDv.
I'm gonna be releasing 14 podcasts about it this week.
All about my thoughts
I'm to for graces roll in spider-man 3 and I'll be streaming on Twitch. Oh good boy that twitch
You know what that is that's reality TV without the editing. It's all this. Yeah, it's completely crazy
I was telling them about my podcast the guy goes I don't get it. It's not live
You added it before you put it out like yeah
about my podcast the guy goes I don't get it. It's not live. You added it before you put it out but yeah, well I want it to be good. You're like thanks, Opie.
Yeah, I know. We're hoping you'd have a Twitch stream. He pretty much does. Now he's going on YouTube live every fucking day.
A lot of art to it. Do you have anything else you want to play to talk about the minor adventures or minor adventures with
Toe for Grace? You know what? I had the one clip clip to summon up and if you want to hit bad movies again,
this is my summation.
Lame.
That's it.
Okay.
That's it.
Perfect.
Sounds good.
Let's move on because I have a lot of other things to get to.
Lucky us.
And the first thing that I have to get to right now is this. Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh
man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh
oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh
man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, man, oh man, oh man, oh We can listen to the radio show. Oh my radio show! Oh, he starts off talking about Jim and Anthony because as I talked to him in the last week.
You sent me a text message this week that said,
OP has Yakov Shmiranov on his again.
I did, so I went and I listened to this episode.
Yeah. In the first minute and forty seconds, I was staring at a wall going,
what the fuck did I just hear?
All right, here is the first minute and 40 seconds where OP decides, because as usual,
he's reading comments that are coming in in real time, hoping for a $5 donation on his
super chat. And someone asks about Jim and Anthony and their response to his video from last week. I don't feel like talking about that shit tonight
cause one comment and then Jimmy calls up it.
Heeey, I gotta come over and come help me
and we gotta beat him up for now.
He said something about us.
I'm not my way over now!
Fuck did those guys get triggered.
Said dumb, dumb, quick video from the beach.
When I made fun of myself, those guys and what the show sounded like at the end.
Next thing you know, Jimmy's calling at me, you hear this shit?
I'm on my way over.
It looks beat up for an hour
Boy open. I take that well, Ditty. He's not dealing with this very well. He is though
Is he sure I'll play devil's advocate here. Please they did an hour and a half. He did a minute 40
You got so mad. I just saw your face
Here's how I'd break that down. OP says, I put out a dumb video, making fun of myself, and these guys decided to call
each other up to do an hour about it.
What OP said was, I played Candy Crush live on my national radio show because my co-host
was a racist and my other co-host had a personality disorder.
Correct.
He wasn't making fun of himself at all.
He was calling out everyone else is saying that the reason
why he was the worst host to ever exist at a show
was completely the fault of the other two guys.
So you know what those other two guys did?
Because they still have an audience at a show.
They responded to that.
Huh. Huh, You don't say.
But he only responded with a minute 40. Yep. Don't you understand how that makes
him in the right? I got. Don't you understand that his flippin' attitude toward it makes him cool?
And by the way, don't you understand that in Opus Mind, he put out that video and Jim and Anthony,
like, you gotta come on the show, we gotta talk about this.
When Anthony pulled that up,
Jim had never seen it or heard it.
Right. He goes, oh, did you see what OPJ is like,
no, what the fuck's that guy doing?
So they played the clip and then they talked about it
and I wish OP would eventually listen to what they said
because what, what Jimmy was trying to tell you OP
is to look inward to solve your problems.
Look fucking inward for a second and determine if maybe it's you,
that's the problem from time to time.
Carl, that's crazy.
You know that OP just said something on the beach.
Just talk it.
Yeah.
These guys overreacted.
Oh, he's making fun of himself.
He's talking about Jimmy and Opie's completely in the right
going, oh, they're going to go crazy because I'm bad at Opie because you know, he's very relevant. He's just about Jimmy and Opie's completely in the right going, oh they're gonna go crazy cuz I'm bad at Opie cuz you know he's very relevant
He's just very relevant. The only thing that makes Opie relevant is me, Anthony and Jim talking about him. Otherwise he wouldn't exist on this world
Anyway, would it seem like a fairy? Like people say I don't believe in Opie. He's a drop dead. Yes, he just disappears. Oh
He ain't going away. Well, I'm sorry. Go anywhere. I shouldn't I shouldn't take credit believe in Opie. He's dropped that. Yes, he just appears. Oh, he ain't going away.
Well, I shouldn't take credit for keeping Opie relevant.
I am not the reason why he is by any means,
but my buddy, Mike Sappho, who was Opie's producer,
been on the show a couple of times, was getting ghosted by Opie.
And I felt bad about that, because when E--Rock was on he's like, yeah, I think
OP's done with them because he came on WATP. Oh my god. I cost this guy his gig
He's a big fan of OP's. So then when I heard this Yacht-Gov interview now remember the way that the Yacht-Gov smeared up interview started was
OP was in the hotel hallway and
Surprised Yacht-Gov now
in the hotel hallway and surprise the Akav. Now, this video of this is not our sub-raddit.
This whole episode gave me PTSD.
Okay.
Because I also had a terrible experience in a hotel room
with a very famous community for the 80s
that was half as interesting as this.
Okay.
But I had PTSD when I was like, come out into the hotel room.
I was totally freaking out.
I was like, no, don't do it.
Do you want to explain who this comedian was? Oh?
Fuck that's right. We talked about this
Yeah, Galger dragged me into his hotel room and read his poetry to me for two and a half hours
I stared at a clock for two and a half hours. I see read his poetry to me
It's almost as if I set you up
Yeah, I was just a slip of poetry and then talking to a washed-up comedian in hotel room,
I'm sorry, dude.
At least I was getting paid when I was dealing with Gallagher.
I'm really sorry about that.
Yeah, we do not pay our co-hosts about any penny.
I'm a shadow, I don't even cover your gas.
Please.
You gave me this flat coke.
How is that coke?
Is it all right?
I've had worse. Alright, so I was really excited because in the video you see that
Opi's with another guy in the hallway and Yakov walks up and then...
Why is Opi just showing out in a hotel?
Oh, I'll get to that.
Oh, there's a whole backstory to this.
Okay, that's what I need to know.
They go into the hotel room and
Opin introduce his mic
I'm taking my coat off
This is Mike by the way. He's my producer
So he says this is Mike. He's my producer and I heard heard that, and I immediately messaged my buddy, Mike's iPhone, said, dude, you're back with OP, congrats, that's great!
Because there hasn't been on a show in months.
And Mike raised back, he's like, yeah, I don't know, I don't know what's going on with
that.
What do you mean, you were just down the show?
He's like, well, yeah, you guys don't have a field day with this one, because I haven't
listened to it at this time.
Uh-huh.
I'm gonna go, okay, well, are you guys on the out again?
And Mike made it sound like he was trying to avoid Opie at this point.
At the very end of the show, Mike reveals a text message that he got from Opie and sets
it out loud to Jakov and Opie is not happy with it.
Oh, I heard it.
This is great.
Yeah, Mike, you're around today. Podcasts with Jakos Minov. Creep me out because he wants to meet me in his hotel room. Oh, I heard it. This is great. Yeah, Mike, you're around today. Podcasts with Yakuosh Mino. Creep me out
because he wants to meet me in his hotel room. That's exactly
what he's making that off. Come on. I wouldn't write that. I
gotta go guys. Yeah, you made a guy so uncomfortable he had to
leave his own hotel room. Mike fucking reads the text he got from Opie.
Don't be goes, you know that's a lie.
He's looking at his phone and reading it.
What do you mean that's a lie?
You think Mike's making this shit up off the couch?
And he also mentioned it multiple times in the interview.
Yeah, he made jokes at all.
It's kind of creepy.
It brought me to a hotel room.
Oh, so Opie didn't even realize that he was dealing
with the real Yacht Gauf smear enough.
Hey Stevie, come on up to 4-0-03.
Oh, and this is by the way,
Yaka of his buddy coming over.
And he was supposed to do the thing with Opie at noon
and Opie shows up hours late.
And now it's infringing on other things
that Yaka of has to do.
So this is him on the phone with the guy
who just showed up to the hotel telling him where to go and listen to how insecure Opie is with his life
and his podcast. Hey Stevie, come on up to zero, zero, three. Sorry, I was hoping to see you at
noon. That's why I had more control account. Yeah, that's why I had more time.
I thought you were a troll account on Twitter.
I didn't even really believe it was really you
until maybe maybe two hours ago.
I thought I was getting set up.
That's why I brought Mike.
So Mike had mentioned to me in our DM chat
that I think hope he just used me
because he needed someone who was in the city
who could respond to him.
Michael probably has fit their sixth choice to come down and do this thing.
But as he just made clear, Opie didn't even know if he was actually talking to Yakow Smirnov.
He took this up.
Opie's Ben tricked.
Oh, he's got him.
He's got him.
He's got him to show up.
Oh, for sure.
You know something?
I would almost guarantee that you would create any type of fake Twitter account and
Full olpie with it sounds like a challenge sounds like a fun thing to do sounds like sounds like a challenge
so
Opie
is talking about the fact that this guy is coming up and
When Yaka mentions this earlier in the interview, he says, by the
way, at 430, I have a friend coming over and Opie tries to make a joke out of it and
quickly realizes that it's wildly inappropriate.
I'm expecting somebody coming here at 430. So that's why, yeah, do you need us out of here
by 430?
Yeah.
So you can get the chicken suit on? No, no, no, no, no chicken suit.
OK.
But I have a friend in Brooklyn who is not doing so well.
I'm sorry.
I wanted that.
I was trying to have fun with that.
I was talking about it.
Yeah.
OK.
So he is a friend who's in poor health.
And so he says, I'm meeting up with someone,
we have plans, we wanna visit someone.
So then this guy shows up,
and you would think that Opie would realize
that this is probably a sensitive subject.
No, I wouldn't think that.
I've listened to him before.
Of course not.
So Opie and Bears is himself yet again,
when this guy shows up to the hotel room
You want to put Steve on the the podcast too?
I mean Steve Steve is that yes, he brought roses. I mean, yes
We're we're we're going
We're going to Brooklyn to see my friend who's not doing well. No, no, no, no. He's a doc
He's a doctor You know who he's completely turned into?
Who he's turned into completely turned into weas he is we that is that is
That's a really thing to do the whole thing that just I felt like I was listening to that show right
You're like, weas. Why would you think a sick person would show up to your hotel room. That's not how this was. But not at all. And it's got roses.
And not quietly processed it either.
That's the thing that I don't understand.
It's like, who's this fucking asshole with roses?
Would he have died or something?
He's like, no, we're gonna go visit my friend
who is dying in Brooklyn.
And he just talks over the guy I explained
to Yali about how confused he is.
Dude, I'm so confused.
Open your night so it's supposed to be there right now.
You shut up hour's late. And now to be there right now! You showed up hours late!
And now you're fucking telling this guy who showed up with Rose to go visit his sick friend!
Oh, I don't even wear the sicko!
Oh, I'm an idiot!
Like, what is wrong with you?
Come on, booby.
Alright.
I-I have a lot to get into.
Does that whole...
interview?
Yes.
Was...
Nuts. Yes. Alright, let's-let's get into it because... It starts off... This that whole interview was nuts.
Yes, all right, let's get into it because it starts off,
and I'm just gonna say this one thing about Jakob.
He is lying as fucking ass off. He's not fooling.
He talks about how he became famous.
He gave himself 10 days to become famous.
If we're coming to America, from the Ukraine,
he went to the comedy
store in LA. You ever heard of this place? No, Ken say I've ever heard of the famous
famous comedy store. Yeah, right. Yeah. So he goes up and tries to do stand up. Mitzi
sees something in him and says, I'll tell you what, come back tomorrow and just observe.
Just see what the other standups are doing. This is the show that Yakov went to.
Come back tomorrow and see a regular show. Then, tell, talk to me. So I went and the first
person on stage, it was Monday night, was Robin Williams. Second, he just hit number one
on, we would more in Mindy. Yeah. Second thing was David Letterman. Oh my. Second, third
person was Jay Leno, then followed by Billy
Crystal and Richard Prior closed the show. Bullshit! I mean, there's no fucking way that
happened. Well, I don't think Richard Prior was playing there, but I know Lettow and Letterman
played the comedy store all the time. Of course, but for that, wind up to happen specifically
just for Yaka of Shake. This is no fucking way.
Well, that's what happened.
I'm just calling bullshit.
All right.
Why are my pants on fire is what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that that place crazier things have happened.
Fair enough.
I think that...
I think the crazy thing here is Mitzi Shor taking the time
to tell the immigrant boy to come back to watch a free show.
Right.
That's more of the shocking part.
Well, I think that probably what's happened is Y got up to had a very interesting life and found a
lot of fame in the 80s. I learned how to tell story. And probably is changing
things a little bit in his head. He's been on Carson and Letterman and maybe he's
forgetting where he saw people and how that all went down. I do love when he's
leading up to this story and he just throws out the name of a television
show that was popular back in the day and fucking autistic Opie just has to start yelling
out things he knows about the television show because of what you do and you're an
interviewer.
Exactly what you're talking about.
And the person who I was supposed to meet was Ted Bergman.
He was the executive producer of Three's Company.
Wow. Which was huge in that course.
And so he had summers.
The regal beagle.
It's so funny because you're the other one.
Even the aggob is like, right, yeah, no, I know.
We all know Three's Company.
Anyway, what I'm telling you is about the guy who created this show is Mr. Roper!
Alright, this is a pretty funny nuclear joke, and this is what Jakob is known for is, you know, in Soviet Russia,
we've had it this way, you guys over here.
What a con today! So this, this I think is actually pretty funny Russia was so much wars yeah
because you had it since the 50s hiding under desks and you know all of
that like that would help you from nuclear attacks but that's that's on
that and they would tell us the if there's a nuclear attack put the sheet
over yourself and crawl slowly to near a cemetery that if there's a nuclear attack put the sheet over yourself and
crawl slowly to near a cemetery. That was there's strategy. So we were on the
same level there. So Joe that's a good joke, right? I'm not going to I don't hate
that at all. 52 seconds later. Opie who just he just said, remember they told
you to climb under your desk and I was like, yeah, yeah, Opie decides to tell
his joke,
which there is no punchline for.
Yeah.
And the funny thing is how you talked about,
when they were threatening to blow up America
with nuclear bombs and stuff,
the advice was to just crawl under your desk
and everything will be fine.
Which I always found ridiculous.
Opie, are you even listening?
Pfft.
You're acknowledging things as if you're listening,
but you're obviously not.
He just said that and turned into a joke with a good punchline.
And then he goes, you know what else is funny?
He's starting to climb into your desk.
The worst part about it is, you know how in lieu of a punchline, it's like, I hate when
people say, hey, you know, it's funny.
When they add that in there, it's like, you're gonna write your own punchline here.
I'm just gonna say something at you.
Yeah. There is a punch line.
He just said it.
Right.
You fucking idiot.
He never leaves a weird thing to do, too.
He, there's a joke that Yaka does in this.
Yeah.
That goes right over Opie's head.
Oh, I have that.
Oh, thank God.
You ready for that?
God bless you.
This joke.
This is great.
It's a corn joke, but it's a simple joke.
And the fact that he didn't get it. I couldn't understand.
I can't believe.
Opie, so they're talking about the fact that he got,
Yaga Smirnov was booked to perform in front of Ronald Reagan in Washington, DC.
Yes.
Here's the joke.
And they said, would like you to come to Washington to perform in front of the bushes.
And I'm going, this would get me arrested and they...
Wait, why would you think that?
Because it's funny.
Yeah, you're the first ones who didn't get it, but that's okay.
Let me do it again.
Let me do this again.
I love how he points out.
You're the first one who didn't get it.
You're the first one who didn't get it.
You're the first one who didn't get it.
You're the first one who didn't get it. You're the first one who didn't get it. You're the first one who didn't get it. You're the first one who didn't get it. You're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one you're the first one He knows English and OP can't keep up with that. And it's the A material. He's doing like material that he's done.
He's like, here's the first person who hasn't gotten this.
Like he's legitimately shocked.
Like, so OP pretends he's still reeling from the fact
that he's got a friend coming over
and there's someone who's sick and so he goes,
oh, no, yeah, no, I'm sorry, I get that joke, I get jokes.
I just, you know, I'm still reeling from this thing.
So then OP actually gets a joke and has to take credit for it.
Have you ever heard someone take credit for getting a joke?
When you think about this, you know, if I bomb, that's one thing.
Yeah.
If he bombs, that's a different story.
I got that one.
So now, Jakob's even making fun of him.
Like, yeah, okay, you got the Bob joke.
Okay, you didn't understand the bushes.
We get the Bob joke.
Very good.
Yakov's smeared off as making you look like an idiot.
Yes.
Wow.
All right, here's more OP taking credit for getting jokes.
When things don't work, laughter's a first thing to go.
Second thing is intimacy.
Third is your house
In that order see I only missed one joke y'all I know I know And you pretty well
He's bad he dude. I mean he feels embarrassed by the fact that he didn't get that joke
So now it's always thinking I was like oh, that was a joke. Okay. No, no, I get like a joke. See I got that one too
I get that was a good one. Yeah, come talk more jokes
All right, let's do have any of the clips of what y'all is up to in 2020 Okay, no, no, I get like a joke. See I got that one too. I get that was a good one. Yeah, I'm telling more jokes.
All right. Let's do have any of the clips of what Yakov is up to in 2020.
Did it blow your mind?
Would he start to tell you what he's actually working on right now?
It did. I didn't pull the clips.
You want to talk about that?
I just want to say that Yakov Shridov, if you're looking to retire,
yeah, he's opening up Yakov towers in Phransa,
where you could go to retire and die in Yakov
towers. And I almost pulled the clip where OP trying to make a joke out of
that. He's like, oh, it makes sense because they were dying of
laughter. And now they're dying. Which actually I just
thought it would better than OP did. Yeah, but that's what he's
doing. He's not performing. He's like, I'm on. He's in suckering old people. I just got I'm just not, wait, yeah. Yeah, but that's what he's doing. He's not performing.
He's like, my knee's in suckering old people.
I just got, I'm just not even worried
about doing a show anymore.
Well, this is the craziest thing
from this entire interview right here.
So, Yakov's father passed away before his mother did
and they lived out in LA.
And as we all know, Yakov Smirnov
lives in Branson, Missouri, where he feeds dinner with real cloth napkins.
And magnets on the tray.
And magnets on the trays to keep the food
from falling off of your lap.
Could I give Opie credit for played Old O and A clips
so that it was the best part of the show?
He did, but not in front of Yaka.
We put it in in post.
Yes he did.
And then he played all the jokes that Anthony and Jimmy
did about his dinner theater ad, which were all fantastic.
God bless, Jim Norton, the line,
what restaurant has to advertise that the food
doesn't fall off the table.
It's so good.
That's how you go.
The first thing that we have to do
is play an old O-N-A-S-S-S-S-S-S.
Yes, it is.
It is.
So, he's in Branson.
He decides to move his mom to Branson
because his father has passed away
His mom misses his father's grave
Listen to this story. They could take a picture. So she's there for a year and and she's appreciative that Yachtoff did all this for her and closer to family and that
But she's missing her husband who's in the ground in LA nor Yachtoff does
Digs up his own father and brings him to Branson, Missouri,
for his mom.
Who does that?
No.
No permits. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I hope that everyone understands what just happened. We are saying that Yaka decided at his mom's request to dig up his dead father and
transport him from LA to Branson, Missouri and then re-bury him.
Yes.
And OP asks what is essentially the worst question ever asked on a podcast in the history
of podcasting There you go. How do you get that is that an easy thing to do to to
You know dig up your dad and bring to bring it's not easy
No
That's why I haven't done it. It's most certainly not an easy thing to do
Oh, if it was easy everybody would be doing it
We go to a show who's's grandma is this? We're
gonna move her. Here we come, Branson. What kind of
fucking question is that? Is that a difficult thing to do?
What a f***. There are so many bad questions in this
interview. Oh, we gotta take something. I interview
comedians all the time. Yes, I would
love to interview Yaka because the guy has seen some shit, but OP does it get to anything
interesting. Oh, no. OP does that classic thing and I appreciate your interview style. Thank you.
Because you make it about the guest. Seems like it's a no-brainer, but so many people cannot
figure that out. I'm gonna talk about Arty Lang in a minute because I've been listening to that guy
show and he fucking talks over. Like even have guests on I love you already
But what you just talking over people anyway, he's just bringing people over to tell him his coke score
Yes, yes, I was telling you what the title of the guy heard that on stern when you were on terrestrial
I heard that picture and it's like yeah, all right
So this is Opie making it about Opie
So he's talking to Yakov and he wants to know if Yakob knows that they had great bits when he was at O&A.
We saw a commercial for your show in Branson, Missouri and did you, did that make your radar me and Anthony making fun of that whole thing?
No.
No.
No.
Why would it?
Do you guys watch the YouTube video and goofed you?
Do you think anyone apart from people who work in the kitchen and Yakovs did her adventure?
Any one that would go there was a legitimate opian hit to be fan. No, of course not. It's a very different demographic. Right. Just
All right, so this is self-serving. This is great because opia's terrible listening skills. He's not understanding what's going on
This is where Yaka was talking
about how his career ended when the Soviet Union became Russia. You know what I just realized?
What's that? You and Yaka both smirk a lot. We do. You both just griddle against.
I know. I've been told this. It comes through. Anyway, as you know, the Berlin Wall came down Soviet Union's
wiped out, and now all of a sudden this comedian who talks
about insolently in Russia is no longer relevant.
So, Opie's talking to him about that and laughs about it.
And then listen to how Yaka responds to it.
David Letterman had a top 10 list of things that will now
change that the Soviet Union collapse
I made number one on the list Yakuosevere will be out the world
And at first I thought there was funny. Of course. Yeah, it was at six months later
I couldn't pay the mortgage on the house. We're living it two little kids. I mean it was scary
were living in two little kids. I mean, they were scary.
OP, you know how this goes.
Why would you crack up at that?
Yeah, they were saying my career was always,
he's like, ah, that's an amazing joke.
But you had that not compete money, right?
Right, right?
Did you do your serious acts up?
No, I just didn't have kids anymore.
No, grubs stopped hiring me.
Yeah, I'd have children to feed.
It was actually a terrible time for me. this sums up opi right here. Yeah
Is because I'm uncomfortable?
Yep, you are always uncomfortable last clip that I want to play is opi is a retard and even Yakov
Talks to him like is a mentally challenged boy. Listen to how Yakov ties him here.
I went to Target and went grocery shopping for the entire house.
Wow.
I wasn't 100.
Oh, big boy, like two girls.
Wow.
I mean, that sounds like he's a step away from just jingling keys and a pizzerid.
Yakov was talking about how he escaped.
A communist country came to America became super famous overnight and
hope he goes I went to Target did grocery shopping for my family there's one
clip in there I can't believe you didn't fall okay what's that he goes where the
obfè‹¥s has no editing for me yeah you didn't cut that for your board I didn't
because it's the same old shit all right it's the sick because right Opie when he
didn't get the joke and he embarrassed himself
Yaka goes well you can cut all this out. It's your show and I'll be going
And it my show
Come on, I'm gonna get my saffron to do it. I'm gonna do that kind of thing. Do you know the reason he's here is to embarrass me in front of you
You're not gonna believe this dude, and I can't believe this. This is a treat
None of this was recorded
Yaka smearing off is in the discord right now. Yaka were you there buddy? I am here. Can you hear me?
This is amazing. I want to hear about this whole adventure you had with our friend Greg Opie Hughes. How fun was that?
had with our friend Greg Opie Hughes. How fun was that? Oh, he's a great, great interviewer come into my room, make a mess. He make me late for, for death of my friend. A real piece
of work, this Opie, I wish I know more about him before I do interview in hotel room with him.
It was funny too because at one point, OPI was uncomfortable being in a hotel room with
just you and him.
That's why he brought Mike Sappho and you mentioned that there was never going to be any gay
sacks involved in this.
You were kind of curious why OPpie thought that might be the case. No, I don't
Want to have intercourse with with Opie of course
but
You know if I was going to have
Intercourse with somebody it would be probably be creamy butters
From the pod squad
Sure, that makes perfect sense hey Yachtkov where exactly is your father now well you know it's funny you say but he's in the ground okay yeah he's in the ground. I plant tree next to him. So On your grounds of your property. I have a question for you. I got
Is it difficult to dig up a dead person a booth of halfway across the country?
You know, it's really fucking difficult. Yeah
Yes, I don't swear often, but fuck this guy this this Opie. Yeah
I don't swear often, but fuck this guy, this, this OP. Yeah.
Shit, you're a...
Oh my God.
So, I gotta understand how this whole thing came about,
because it sounds like you message OP to be on his show.
Did you know that his show is listened to by four people
and two of them are me?
Well, you know, I've fallen so far as a star.
You know, I'm not where I used to be.
And it's good to be as to be on show.
I'd be on your show on WATP.
But I like to be on show as much as possible,
because I'm not around in the spotlight much.
But this OP Hughes is a huge piece of shit.
I mean, he, he, he make me late for the death of my friend.
I can't, you know, in Soviet Russia, you know, they,
they hang, they hang you for this.
For bad podcasting.
So what you're saying is that Opie should be killed.
Is that your summation else?
Yes, and then his body dug up and transported to another area.
Preferably Branson, yes.
Branson, Missouri, where I'm putting up new tower. Thank you Vinnie
Yes, yeah, why don't you plug your death tower there for all the listeners of Watt
Yes, Yakov towers going up soon going up on land right next to dead father
It's next to hospital
He goes It's next to hospital He's right He didn't go
He's right next to the hospital like how could he go I'm very strategic thinker. He's sad
He's a
Strategic as he did that is true, you know, they like magnet. I'm trade for food at my place
They like magnet for tray on food at hospital, too
Well, yeah, I got my want to thank you for coming on the show.
Anything else you want to tell us about your experience
with OP or your plans for the future?
Plans for the future are the Yakaoftower.
As I mentioned, OP can go put his penis in his old and butthole
as far as I'm concerned.
I did not care for the man.
And Vinny, Vinny Vinny or good have
me on your show you know I'm I'm that's true he could be on your show I'm sorry I'm busy
I'm gonna be the girls of gas and all that bitch of osada again but he's as fuck
sorry well you know I've already reached out to Mark. I talked to him. He go I go over your head. I'll get on show, all right?
He's okay. You good good. Good. Good. Look at that inside track. It sounds like that. I sure do. I'm sure do. Well, thanks for coming.
Hey, oh, yeah, come if you want to hang out in the discord, I feel free. What a country. What the country? All right. Go see you.
Well, that was a treat. I'm on Gallagher's website. Yeah, she has a page called poetry
No boy and there's a list of all of his poems here title
Cupid pits lover boy versus the earth I kicked football
Obama's final thoughts
Gallagher's bucket list and Mr. Penguin all available on Gallagher smash.com
Get list and mr. Penguin all available on galagher smash.com Holy shit if you like to find out what I sat there and listen to for two and a half hours
Well, he stood there to pair of jim shorts at a tank top of no shoes or socks
What a fucking disaster that guy is I did get to see the hammer though
Yeah, it was in the filthy bathroom next to the toilet. Oh, Jesus Christ. What's he using it for?
It's a plunger. I don't know what he was using it for,
but it was the strangest place I've ever been.
Okay.
All right.
Let's talk about Arty Lang with Tim Sabian.
You know, Tim Sabian is former producer
with the WJFK for a long time.
Was a producer or a program director?
I just wanted to help you.
Yes.
Philly, yeah.
Don and Mike, he was a program director. I just want to help you. Yes. Billy. Yeah. Yeah. Don and Mike Hughes producer for program director for them.
For O&A, for Howard Sternet.
Sirius XM.
Correct. Yeah.
Yeah.
Tim Sabian.
Tim Sabian was brought in for Howard's channels
and Sirius back in O5 when he first went over there.
He had Howard 101.
Those channels started before Howard even was there.
He was still on terrestrial radio.
Tim Sabian was the guy they brought in to run those channels to make it successful.
And I want to start off by with Arty Lang talking about how Tim had a move to New York for this job.
His wife did not want him to do it.
I have a question. Why did Tim Sabian hang out with Arty?
Did Arty leave a box of shit at the office?
It still needed to be delivered. Why is he hanging out?
Arty's got a new show.
It's, uh, what is it called?
Arty Lang's halfway house.
It's about right. Yeah. It's interesting.
It's Mike Bischetti's on there again.
It's his co-host. Really?
Yeah. And he's got guests on every week.
So this is the setup with Tim Saving.
So I went up there and I was so
fucking jacked and jazzed about what it was. My head wouldn't stop thinking about this,
that and the other thing. And I said, and my wife said to me at the time, she says, we'll
do it for five years and we'll come home. And I'm like, okay, you know, so I get up there
and it becomes encompassing. I'm literally sleeping on the floor. And it's a lot of work.
All right. So Tim Sabian is explaining that
Howard reached out to him and asked him if he would do this.
He decided to do it despite the fact his wife didn't want to move to New York
and he worked his balls off to make it successful.
It's interesting.
He already also took naps on the floor.
Yeah, so his death is between six to eleven.
Yeah, but right, I get your point.
So he goes on to talk about how he was let go from the show
And it starts with our friend Marcy Turk who took over the channels and the Howard Stern show
It just be as honest as you want. I'll tell you the truth. What happened when when he decided to bring this Marcy and whatever
I was like someone who comes in how it reached this book getting things done? It's almost like a cultish thing. Yeah, we had we had any hires this woman that's
gonna run his life basically. And I just I can't play. She's not comedy person. She's a radio
person. I can't do reindeer games. So she's almost like a rescue. Like someone comes in,
gets a little attention. Yeah, it's like I don't know what the fuck happened there. But anyway,
it's just it was enough. I enough it seems like con artist it would total
So that's interesting because
We're gonna watch that about Marcy Turk
But the fact that already says like Rasputin seems like a con artist and
This guy who Tim Sabian is usually pretty much
Even keeled he's not gonna go out there and bash people. He's like, oh, yeah
That's definitely would have made that clip interesting's that? If he already have let Tim
speak, I know what what what are you doing? Ask questions and then just yells over the
answer. Yeah. So that was not good. This was brought up to me by my friend, Jeff, who told
me I had to listen to this because this is very interesting. Last week, we were playing
OP talking about how we're talking about I miss and I was sticking up for Howard. Howard is a dirt bag piece of shit. Listen to Tim explain
how he was let go from serious XM or not from serious, but from Howard's channels. See, this
is the Tim Sabia now. This is why I love talking to Timmy and having him on. He's not a guy who
abandoned you. He's a foxhole friend, bro. I got you back. You know, it's like a few.
No, I know. And let me tell you something.
You also called you on your shit, but he's a man's man.
You're the same type of guy.
How do you find out you're not on the search room?
How did that end?
You get my phone call.
Oh, I went in to tell Howard that,
I said, my dad's dying.
I'm gonna take a leak.
Well, did you, I work for the company.
So I had to clear through the company first.
Your dad's dying.
Yeah. And he says, well, maybe we should just part company.
Wow.
Is that how it happened?
Yeah.
I, Tim, I never knew that.
Yeah, that was harsh.
It was that, that.
So you sit in the loan in a room and I, I was your office.
Yeah, whatever.
I've heard.
And you say, I need to leave after this is my dad's time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right before that, he explained that he was getting a divorce because he stayed on longer
than the five years that him and his wife agreed to.
So his wife's leaving him. Both of his parents passed away.
He goes to Howard and says Howard, I just need a little time off. My father's passed. I need to go.
And Howard goes,
Passing, like I want to spend time with my dad before he's dead.
Correct.
My life is falling apart. I'd like to have some good memories.
Correct.
And Howard says, if you're not dedicated to the show, we don't need you here.
Is that fucking crazy?
And I know like, Wilmerie.
That sounds right on brand for him though.
Wilmerie has reached out to me.
I know this guy's from the Stern Show who might be listening to this.
Like I'd love to hear what your tank is.
There's Wilmerie's story.
Yeah, he's a second producer over there.
And he's reached out because he wants to tell stories?
No, not because he wants to tell stories.
But I know he listens to W-80P for a time. But I'd love to know, like, how do you defend that? I was
gonna say, if Will Murray wanted to tell stories, what the fuck am I doing here? Yeah, no,
you get bumped into the second. Right, me. Carl, I pulled clips this time. I don't give a fuck,
Vity, you're not coming over. I got EROC again. Yeah, right. Doosh. So, I just found that to be fascinating.
That's really sad on a lot of levels.
It's disheartening because, you know, you always knew that Howard is very cold.
And, like, just when you hear him talk about his parents and his parents are, you know
he's a cold, dude.
You know, like, there's not a lot of emotion there.
Well, Tim Sabian even says, him losing that gig the way he lost it. It took him months to recover from that
He he I mean obviously his life was all falling apart and then he lost the game right his wife. He lost his marriage. Yep
Yeah, it's crazy. All right, so what do we know about the smart C-Turk?
Like I know that Howard has brought her up. I think twice on the air and now you're not allowed to talk about it
In fact, what's the what what is a handsy? Who is the consy? Yeah, Hansi who used to call in and he was the crazy guy
Who thought Howard was following him and watching him and his house and stuff? Robin's butt cheese. Yeah, that guy right?
Was that handsy? Oh, are you thinking of ham hands bill?
Okay, maybe I'm wrong.
Okay, I'm talking about
Oh!
Oh!
I'm Ryan Khan.
Got him.
Used to call into the show all the time.
And then he called in and started talking about Marcy Turk
and he is banned now.
He's there and they do not allow him to call into the show anymore.
And he was a regular caller.
So if people wanted to fuck with Howard Stern's show,
the best thing to do is call an X-series, go Marcy Turks' recipe and Marcy Turks' recipe.
Yes, we need to talk about Marcy Turk because they act like she doesn't exist.
And meanwhile she's totally transformed the show into the show that's not for the audience that it used to be for.
Okay, here's what you should do your next like premium episode on.
Okay, you should literally just do as much research as you can into Marcy Turk.
All right, yeah, that's not so much.
I just do what episode to do that
and just see what happens.
It's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
All right.
And see how quickly you die in your sleep
of natural bothers.
Yeah, I don't think it's someone you want to fuck with.
It seems it's a scary vibe.
It is a scary vibe.
For the fancy.
So there's another thing that I found out
on this episode of Arty and Tim Savian
and you're gonna get more examples here
I've already just talking over Tim
But I never knew this I don't know they've talked about this before apparently when Howard announced a year and a half before he
Finish his contract out on terrestrial radio. He announced he was gonna go to serious
and
Obviously the radio station had to figure out what they were going to do post Howard Stern.
Because not only...
Oh, it was the middle of it, but...
Yeah, we all know how this plays out.
But obviously not only was he number one in New York, but he was syndicated across all these
different markets where he had all these ratings.
So this was not going to be an easy hole to fill. And apparently, Tim was tasked with putting an offer into Arty Lang, offering him his own
show with Bob-Bob-Booey producing it.
Did you know that?
Listen to this.
The Arty Times show produced by Bob-Bob-Booey.
So they think we're going to defect Tim as the awful job of bringing that offer to me.
And then, now listen, I immediately said no.
Gary immediately said no.
I don't care if I'm looking at the money,
I made a lot of money, Howard let me do whatever I wanted.
I loved Howard.
First of all, if Howard was gonna be a buck a year,
I wouldn't do that to him.
And it's a bad career move anyway.
But Tim, so I get this offer to fuck over Howard
and I have to somehow tell Howard,
I don't know if I can do the face to face. I'm leaving all this money and guarantee money by the way it would have been
25 million bucks if it was the show last in a week and then in the brilliant mind they hired
David Lee Roth. So I think it's funny this is all coming up right around the time that we've
been talking about David Lee Roth on this show. I just want to say Arty is not a great decision maker.
No, he definitely is not a great decision maker. I, he definitely is. He's not a great decision maker.
I don't think Arty needs more money.
I don't think that's his problem in life.
Oh, I think that's exactly his problem in life right now.
Yeah, I do.
I think he needs some cash.
I don't know about that.
I think he just needs to stay sober.
But I mean, Arty makes money doing everything he does.
He trips into money.
That's true.
He does get a lot of work.
Yeah, he was uncr, wildly out of his mind,
like just undrugs the entire time
with a co-starring role on an HBO show for three seasons.
It's unreal what this guy has accomplished in his life
with putting zero effort into it.
Yeah, but 25 million about good.
25 million for four years was the contract that was offered
to do the Arty Link Show. Now this makes sense
because you think about it, and we talked about this last week with Croge.
The idea that you're going to lose Howard Stern, whoever fills that spot,
people are going to hate because it's not Howard anymore.
However, at that time, and you remember this,
Arty was the most beloved figure on the Howard Stern show.
You listen to Howard for Arty like, correct.
That's the only thing you wanted to hear was I still I still listen to one on one
Probably do you already yeah, so if they would have replaced Howard with already that could have worked
That's that they were thinking it's a big what if but it's a better possibility than David Lee Roth and Adam Corolla
I've been with the devil Lee Roth and already has a great joke here
They hire after a nationwide search to replace Howard Stern on the radio.
David Lee. Oh, I got. They're around $10,000,000. I'm like, okay, here's how crazy that is.
If Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen, and Alex Van Halen went to Howard Stern and said, we're
touring the world for three years, you're the new lead singer of Van Halen Howard Stern.
That's less crazy. Yeah. That make it And make it, they're gonna want to.
It's a great job.
He's not wrong.
He's not wrong.
That wrong.
I get to say, you're trying to get a word in ad joys.
This is a video on YouTube that I recommend everybody check out.
It's, if you're into Howard Stern and all that kind of shit,
it's endlessly fascinating.
High, interesting.
Speaking of interesting, we got to talk about my buddy.
I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,
I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,
I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,
I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like,
It's about a long time.
The dance you just did to that was truly haunting.
Yeah, you like Carl just straight danced in front of me.
Oh, dude, that's some good tuners right there.
So our friend Patrick Michael, when I should back up,
because we have a lot of new listeners in the show,
he's also known as Todd.
He's also known as Patrick Michael,
Shamest McKillian.
When we say any of these names,
we're talking about this guy specifically. This guy gets on his show called after PM. And by the way the podcast
hitman, my buddy on Twitter, he had a big falling eye. I tried to get him on the show
today. He wasn't able to make it, but he is not a fan of the podcast hitman. What
this guy does is feeds me timestamps and links to episodes of all the things that we need to be talking about
I'm so much to talk about man. I'm gonna give you a bravo and a double thumbs up
That's from me to you, pali. You're doing God's work totally agree. So on this specific episode
Patrick Michael has a bit of a meltdown and it's about us. Oh boy. It's about us specifically you
Would you know I always enjoy
Whenever someone talks about it, I have to play it on the show. Yeah, you really are not capable of letting anything
Technically, Opie has more self-control when it comes to people talking about it than you do
Oh way more self-control when it comes to people talking about it than you do. Oh, way more self-control! He's never even brought me up on his show! It's amazing!
Yeah, but you gotta set it at his dinner table one night.
Yes!
It's true.
Poor kids know who you are.
Oh my god, could you imagine?
Alright, so he starts off by explaining the definition of insanity.
But it seems like I have people to listen to my shows that are just like,
Oh, it's terrible.
Why do you keep listening then?
Go, what?
It's unproductive.
That's the literal definition of insanity.
Repeating the same actions, hoping for a different result.
All right, so the guy who's putting out a terrible podcast
on a daily basis.
30 under 30 different names.
Under 30 different names.
Can't get any traction.
No one cares about it.
It's explaining that doing the same thing over and over again
and hoping for a different result
is the definition of insanity.
Well, it's surprising.
I guess he's right.
Yeah.
I think he nailed it.
Yeah.
I hope people can hear this because that's
the little broken clock analogy.
It is.
It really is.
I hope people can hear the clips. The last time I tried to bring his clips on.
People couldn't hear them because he record something a fucking closet.
Well, babies are crying.
He sounds like shit.
So this is the guy I get mixed signals from him because he once said,
you can't review all my shows as if he was challenging us to review all of his shows. And he also talked about how people don't like the show. I'll just put out
so many shows that you can't avoid me. Oh, I remember. I mean, if so many shows, it's
just going to be everywhere all the time. And he's like, well, why would you listen to
my show if you don't like it? What, what, what is that? Did you want us to review your
shows? Are you trying to get it? Are your shows out there? Do you want no one to listen
to? Oh, he's real. What's that fucking guy's name for America?
I can't remember now.
The really famous pretty boy announcer.
Oh Ryan Seacrest.
Yeah, he thinks he's Ryan Seacrest.
I'll just be everywhere.
Well, Ryan Seacrest's actually pulling that off.
Yeah, that's literally what he's trying to do.
He's like, well, Seacrest could do it.
I could be everywhere.
By the way, you weren't talking about Brian Dunkelman.
And the reason why I know that he was also the co-host
of Ryan Dunkel. No, I have to have a Brian Dunkelman.
He's doing coffee shop tours all over the country
with Stuttering John. Dude, did you see this?
I have to do a segue real quick.
The profit? The episode of the profit that he was on.
Yeah. Where he quit comedy.
No. He was on a national show literally weeks ago.
Oh, no. It's a Rod show.
I got to ride Riga as a show. Okay. on CNBC, they had Brian Dunkleman on,
talking about how terrible his life is,
and how he's driving an Uber.
Yeah.
Right now, like this was like in the last month.
Oh, shit, I didn't hear about this because
there's a brand new promoter.
They're just posting it on Twitter.
And it's Ron Jeremy hosting,
Stuttering John and Brian Dunkleman.
It's this new tour.
Got it. I hope he literally fucks them both on stage and Brian Dunkleman. It's this new tour.
Get the brand new guy.
I hope he literally fucks them both on stage
and people get to watch.
So listen to this, this is amazing.
I've never seen anything like this before.
They announced this tour and they have these three headshots
and they're like, this is the bill.
Guess what the tour dates are.
You decide.
It's literally like send us an email and you can book us I'm not joking about this and so it has been brought up to me
That we should pay whatever price that is and have a WATP party and just invite all the listeners to come in and
Witness centering John's
Headlining act finally I'm pretty like you right now because
Act finally I'm pretty like you right now because
The market I know we can make this happen pretty literally what I just phoned immediately is there to texting the booker at the comedy club here at Rochester
I'm not I'll send you the link after this. It's unbelievable
Roger
Roger me Brian don't come on. So here's the thing don't go a good comic. Is it? Doncomans not a bad comic.
That's why I was so shocked to see where he is.
He's a veteran.
I mean, he made a terrible career decision,
but every time I've ever seen the guy perform,
I thought he was good.
That's my opinion.
I don't hate him as a comic.
I was shocked that he hitched his wagon
to fucking Stuttering John,
and then I wasn't shocked when I watched the C.M.E.C.
I think I'm gonna cry.
That he's driving a louper.
And A-Rod's trying to tell him how to get his life together.
And A-Rod's like, what's the matter? Just steroids. Just do steroids.
Oh, it was unbelievable.
That was his advice. That's a good one.
That's a good one.
But getting back to our friend, Shemus McKillian.
Who?
So Patrick Michael is talking about the fact that us making fun of him
doesn't affect him in any way, because of how secure he is in his art.
When people are critical of the content you make or the things that you do and you're not
comfortable with what you do, you're gonna feel weird about it. It's gonna affect you in a
specific way. I think he's talking about Opie right there. I'm pretty sure. But he's excited that we're talking about him.
And apparently, we're a pretty big podcast.
I don't know if he realized that.
But I will say that there was this,
I've been mentioned on this podcast a couple different times.
I believe I've never listened to them.
I've never even checked into it.
But I've heard in my reviews, and that's pretty much
all the only place I've heard
but people left reviews strictly saying that they came to listen to my show because of this other show
and I don't know how they found me but they definitely didn't like what I what I did
they didn't like my stand-up comedy they didn't like my podcast and I've never heard of them before
but apparently
they're pretty big. Oh I love it. I want a book. I love it. So he missed the MC. He doesn't
know how I found him. I'm pretty sure it was Jodie B. The Pope boys. Kirkney if I'm
wrong I think Jodie's in discord right now and maybe it was Doug from who's right but
I don't know how we found it but it it was a match made in heaven, obviously. Certainly. I want to hire him to MC.
Yes.
A studdery job. And I want to.
Fuck on Jeremy. I admire his work.
Yeah.
Let's get another schmuck out there.
Let's get magic Michael out there.
Just don't drive through Gary, kid.
All right. This is.
So he talks about how we're pretty big and he explains how he knows this.
Wouldn't it be great if we booked him that he just goes, I don't know.
And I have a booking for a comedy show.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
He was just going,
I'm going to be the Rochester New York City and everybody.
Yeah.
I wonder how little, a polimely small sum I can tell
you're this kid for.
Dude, you're, you're had a spinning.
I wonder like, you're thinking through every scenario
that you could possibly come up with to make it happen.
No, like if we contacted this kid and go,
Hey, we want to book you.
We heard your podcast.
We want to book it open for Stuttering John.
Yep.
We'll pay you a hundred bucks.
Would you come to Rochester?
Do you think you would come to Rochester for a hundred bucks?
If we covered his gas and a hotel, yeah, I think you would.
Don't you? How long would it take him to make a hundred dollars podcasting like 30 million years?
He's never thought about making a hundred dollars podcasting.
He's made tens of dollars.
Like, oh, definitely not.
He makes three cents of download or something like that as the business model.
Oh, no.
The anchor I found business model.
Oh.
I mean, that's up.
So we'll give you $50 bucks.
We'll cover your hotel.
All right, so he explains that we're a pretty big show.
And this is how he knows that we're a pretty big show because he was watching Lewis
Jay Gomez, which we've also documented on the show that he left a comment on a YouTube
video underneath a Real Ass Podcast video.
Apparently, they're pretty big because they were mentioned on what is it? The real ass podcast hosted by Louis J. Gomez and he was talking
about how he got into it with these guys and something about kidnapping the one guy's
girlfriend and apparently they're not even they broke up. I don't know it's a really
weird situation but. So this guy doesn't get bits He really thinks like those thing almost is raping here
He doesn't get fucking bitch. He goes. Yeah, there's this whole crazy back story
He's a kidnap the guy's girlfriend. She doesn't date him anymore, but anyway
Watch this asshole. I just soap opera
Love to see what goes I keep maybe just murdered that person
He's definitely gonna get busted for that.
He didn't get busted for that.
What?
Is that just twin brother?
That's what he was never dead.
This is unbelievable.
Okay, 25 bucks.
Oh, he's shit.
25 bucks in gas.
This is, we made his day, by the way.
And I was so excited to hear this
because I think there are some people who feel bad for this kid
He's not Opie. He's not a senator. He's just he's just this guy who is excited about rain in Indiana
So this is gonna make everybody feel better. I was talking about him as made his day
Not only did they criticize the real-ass podcast, but Lewis J Gomez and
Also me how am I up there with that? I've never met
these guys, I've never spoke to these guys, never heard of these guys and somehow I'm getting
critiqued by them and they also critique stuff like Lewis J Gomez. I accept it. Awesome.
Is that amazing? Well the sun is really shining on your ass all today. He's in it there.
Wow, that is the craziest logic I've ever heard of my life.
It's like, they make fun of good shows.
Therefore, I have a good show.
No stupid.
No stupid.
It's all that math works at all.
Wow.
All right. That's all that bad forks at all. Wow. Alright.
So, he thinks that it's pretty impressive that he was being judged.
But to know that I was being judged by a podcast that seems to be pretty large,
it's pretty impressive.
But at the same time, I think they were talking about a podcast that I haven't done in a very long time.
Because, you know, I'm not in that shit.
I'm not into being trolled.
It's annoying.
And I'm the type of person to talk back, like defend myself.
You know, I was going to come in and talk shit to me and just let it go.
If you're going to do that, leave a review.
So this is again, this guy is actually kind of...
What did he just say? Leave a review. So this is again, this guy is how to say to yourself.
What did he just say?
Did he just say, I haven't done the show
because I don't like people giving me shit.
But when people giving me shit, I always talk back.
Yes.
But therefore, I've never done the show
so I'm saying it's complete horse shit.
Correct.
And he says, if you're gonna do that shit,
leave a review.
And in a podcast that we talked about months ago, he said, don't fucking leave me a review and in a podcast that we talked about Months ago he said don't fucking leave me a review asshole go on social media and tell me what you think and what's fucking having out
So this guy's all over the place. He doesn't understand what his own opinions are at all. He has no clue what he thinks
It's so confusing
But he charming kind of way he does talk about the fact that every artist deals with this kind of stuff.
No one's that everyone's going to get your art, right?
Not me.
He's the greatest artist in history.
Even the greatest artist that exists today were criticized.
Some of them were, they were sent letters of death threats.
Like you know what I'm saying?
Those words were a little mixed up,, you know what I'm saying? Those words were a little mixed up,
but you go what I'm saying.
They would get letters that actually said
that people want to kill you.
And it's crazy, but that's the world we are in.
You have to be willing to accept it when you are an artist.
People are going to critique your things.
They're going to interpret it in a specific manner
that is not so, it's not your intentions.
Alright, so what are you, Sammy Davis Jr.?
Ever after you?
Every artist gets criticized, Vinnie, it just comes with the territory.
What are you gonna do?
Alright, so, she must remind us in this next clip.
Who the show is for?
Because it's obviously not for us.
This for me?
And the people that like it. Okay, that's what makes no sense to me.
Why are people that don't like specific content or content creators or artists or whatever?
Why are those ones the ones that listen to your shit?
Or look at your shit, or observe your shit, or review your shit?
It's like the last people that should be having an opinion
about your thing, these are the ones that aren't creating anything. Or there's stuff
isn't up to even your standards.
Alright, that last part is why I clip that part. He said the people who are critiquing
his show, their show is already enough to his standards. Now Vinnie, you've pointed out
from time to time
that we don't have the highest quality podcast in the world.
You don't say.
And I know that your setup is quite professional
and you have a very nice studio
where you put out a phenomenal show.
I know weekly business.
Your full of shit, but thank you.
With that said,
would you confess that perhaps
our standards here
are up to par with what Shemus is doing?
Could you even hear what he just said
through the fucking static?
So no one touches you on production.
That's the thing.
No one touches the amount of stuff
that you take the time to do.
You actually put a lot of work
and effort into what you do.
You don't sit in front of a microphone and spitball.
It's called propping.
Right, which is in its way called creating.
You create something.
I do.
Oh my God.
It's fine, I hate it when people yell, but I just want to find it.
I just hate that.
Every time I hear someone critique this show in particular,
it's they don't create anything.
Didn't even have a show.
All they do is talk about shows that are better than theirs.
Like what the fuck is that?
And they use the term better every time
Every time if they had a listen to the podcast and I had a listen to over the past four years
The word butter would never come out of their bags and you would think that you would actually learn something by now you would think so yeah
You would think that shameless would learn something by now like there was a guy in our discord who took one of Shameless's clips,
quickly learned how to take noise out in Reaper
from a YouTube video, and put his clip out.
You're hearing all this fucking noise,
very easy to get rid of.
Very easy.
This is a simple edit that you'll only have to apply once
and the entire track goes down great.
And this fucking numb nuts cannot figure out how to do that.
Is it a shame that he's not listening right now not to get that check?
Hopefully somebody puts in his reviews this information.
That's the only way he knows that we were talking about what the fuck name of his show
are.
I'll put it in there for a right.
It's impossible to find this guy.
All right.
This is a clip that I want to play with again mixed messages go or I don't know I don't know what he's
trying to communicate here if you have your own podcast I'm not gonna be one of
those people it's like oh I'm gonna go leave a fucking one star review for
their show because I'm I'm I'm one of those people that's seeking revenge I'm
holding a grudge because you know in reality In reality, you don't even hardly exist.
You exist for a small second and then of course, you know, it drives me nuts for a few months,
but at the same time, but the reason I say that is because I just try to figure out how I could
possibly say something back or find your social media and we can start a conversation because
that's really how I feel like it should go. If these people are real adults or real humans and they
really want to help you get better,
they would come at you in a better fashion.
They wouldn't just yell at you on a review
and hope that someday you see it.
He feels like a kid who's the adults have let down.
Yes.
Yes.
Carl, you know he's just sitting in that closet
with a picture of you in front of him with a birdie candle.
And he just talks to you all this stuff. But I don't know of that because he's just sitting in that closet with a picture of you in front of him with a burning candle. And he just talks to you all this stuff.
But I don't know that because he's also excited that we're acknowledging his existence
because nobody else is.
The fact that we're talking about him and Luigi Gomez knows who we are and Jim Faurantine's
been on the show, this to him is a victory, right?
So he's excited about this.
But at the same time, he doesn't want to seek revenge. He doesn't
care about that. We don't even exist. Well, he's thought about it for months. Right.
He's we don't exist in all of us ever he thought about it for months. It bothers me for months.
He doesn't want to seek revenge. He though he doesn't want to have a conversation with us using
social media. However, he blocked me. Even though I've never messaged him or tagged him in a tweet
or anything. He blocked me. So I don't know how we're gonna have a conversation. I also meet you.
I do exist.
I do tweet.
I look at my Twitter every day.
If you wanna have a conversation.
Do you exist though, Carl?
I don't know.
As much as I can, I guess.
I guess.
What a fucking weirdo.
All right, I got one more thing to play,
because I'm proud of this.
He hates you.
He's obsessed.
He's obsessive thinking about this.
When he says about us him for months,
he's not kidding.
I know. And he's, everything he he says we were happy for everything that sounds like it's slightly rational
Yeah, it's just a crazy person putting on a show that is actually a brilliant point
Every time he says something you go, well, right. That's how you should do it
That's what he thinks he should say. Yes. It's not what he thinks correct
And I'm no Scientologist that's a brilliant observation. Yeah, that's what he thinks he should say. Yes. It's not what he thinks. Correct. And I'm no Scientologist.
That's a brilliant observation.
Yeah.
That's what I'm telling you.
He's sitting there giving you these mixed messages,
but you know what the real message is.
It's him, father, and him for months.
It's almost as if you understood the definition of insanity.
Don't it over and over again.
All I know is that he feels very strongly about this.
Don't tell me that you don't like my show because that's absurd.
So, you're not allowed to criticize him.
You don't like the show.
Because if you don't like the show, you shouldn't even be listening.
Well, Shabis, I will tell you that I don't love it.
So, I took that clip and of course as I do, I heard an opportunity to put that into a song so I
want to play this for you let me know what you think. like my show. Don't tell me if you don't like my show. Don't tell me.
I go for the girl.
Because that's absurd.
All right. That's fun stuff. I liked it. Did you know that?
It wasn't as good as that like opening.
Oh, that was me. When I was dancing around before. Yeah, that was catchy.
That was you just play for shit?
Alright, he saw me grab I phoned you knew I was gonna film you doing that shit You just stopped immediately and that was gonna show up in the discord as I'm looking at this
No, thank you. Oh my god. The dance is the best part
It is it is pretty compelling like I said I was hanging out with these twitch streamers
And maybe I'm starting to realize I need to bring
The entertainment to another level
Through video as well if it were up to me podcasts would never have video no shit
That's why podcasts are great. I have a show with video. I have one. Oh, yeah good boy
I think should not exist especially you have fucking a rich boss out. I must look at that
I can be the boss. It's a real eye candy
I'm just trying to say that yeah, twitchin twitchin is the weirdest fucking thing to me. I don't understand the culture at all
We went to the dinosaur and then the Genesee brew pub and then radio social and then so you went to all the shitty tourist bars
That's cool and then I left these are all places I actually go to and then I got out of there and then they went to
Playhouse yeah, and I came home and watched them at playhouse
Why because it was like I had friends did you feel like you're missing out?
I can't buy a ski ball to I can't figure out who this is for.
You're just watching people go and have fun.
It's crazy.
The whole point of the thing was to watch people play video games.
Correct.
Which is how they started, too.
Yeah.
They have 280,000 subscribers these people I was hanging out with last night.
And they're on their Zoom recorder, they're walking around with everywhere they go.
Uh-huh.
And it's sometimes facing them, sometimes it's showing what they're looking at.
And they both had their phones out a couple.
Can you hold this a pie there?
They're looking at the comments and talking to the people in real time as they're commenting on shit.
How'd you get roped into this?
I don't want to talk about it.
All right, this is... I thought you were doing pretty good
with your show.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
This is a clip I want to play.
They didn't appreciate that we made fun of people
for their art.
Do you know what people, people when they asked me
to do their podcast, you know what I say?
What do you say?
What do you say?
What do you say?
You, you're like, let's twitch.
It was fun.
We went out through some corn hole.
Got my ass handed to me. That's usually what happens
on you Cornhole. It's good point. Do you know who Edgar is? I know who Edgar is.
He's got him to a good voice, but you know, he's got very dry teeth. Yes, he does.
That Edgar. Craig Schinkle about it decided to go on cameo and get a video of Edgar talking
about it. It's our our subreddit I
saw it if you want to check it out I said this quick clip from it I thought was
really funny good old Jimbo you always make fun of the obvious podcast
his podcast is enjoyable Enjoy your butt. Our profiles.
All right. Good job, Edgar. Thank you very much for the shout out.
Thanks, Edgar. Enjoy personality disorder.
He's fine, can't. I'm shit.
Gotta reinforcing that a little bit.
You know the best line on that when they were talking about an OP show was when he goes,
yeah, Keenan Thompson and his multiple personality disorder.
I hate him.
Because he has different characters on a show on a radio show. Oh, shit. I got to talk about this real quick
So this was incredible
There was a
Twitter war I think it's still going on
between
Opie's North and the South Opie's
between Opie's, Norfolk and the South.
Opie's,
burner account,
and Anthony's burner account.
Opie and Anthony are fighting with each other on Twitter.
It's been going on for days.
And unless you know these,
because people have like a dozen followers each.
Somebody alerted me to this
and I've just been reading through it's,
you're kidding me.
It's incredible.
They have phony burner,
Twitter's,
and they're fighting with each other.
Yes.
Publicly feuding on fake.
Wow, what are the fake names?
There's Jebediah Johansson, who's Hopi, and I hate IH blacks.
Who's Hopi.
And I hate IH blacks.
Seek 12, 12.
Seek?
Yeah, so listen to this.
Hopi says, Hopi is set for life, Nana,
and Nana is going broke.
And Anthony replies,
Stuttering John is looking for a second chair.
It could be the Stuttering John
and Fat Titty con show.
Ha! I'm sure snowy will call in for you.
They get into really personal shit
and pedophilia accusations.
Oh yeah, one of them was accused of some stuff.
Yeah.
I will say this though, you shouldn't make fun of a man's tits.
That's right, you're on the line.
That's going too far.
So anyway, I just bring that up because this opened up my eyes
and I can't believe this is true and I want to point this out.
I'm going to tell you everyone something that is going to be so much entertainment value for you.
But we all have to do this together.
We can't let Suthering John know that we know what his burner account is.
Okay, so I'm going to tell you what it is.
It's going to be amazing.
But you can't go out and start following him and commenting.
He's just gonna shut it down.
We gotta just let him do this so we can observe it.
I'm gonna watch it.
Okay.
It is at sale underscore D1970.
That's at SAO underscore D as in diamond, 1970.
Oh here.
Which weeks John Melendez a lot, doesn't it?
Oh, he does.
It's getting involved in conversations
where there's a lot of people looking at it
and say, you gotta listen to the Stuttering John podcast.
Everyone's checking out the Stuttering John podcast.
He's also tweeting it already,
laying all the time.
Why won't you have Stuttering John on the show?
You get Tim Sabian out.
Why won't you have Stuttering John?
Do every single tweet.
Yeah, he says, yeah, Arty, how about I come over there
and kick your ass unless you make up with At Stuttering John?
If you guys listen to At Stuttering John, M podcast,
he always talks about his beer can chicken.
You would die for it.
Link to Stuttering John's podcast.
Yup, come listen to Stuttering John podcast,
a place where nobody gets knife thumbs up.
So he just gets involved in these threads.
John has a great recipe for Matsubal soup.
Come check around on his podcast.
I'm not making this up.
I know, it just goes out of that forever!
If you guys are Cedric John podcast,
he tweeted the beer can't check it twice.
Yep.
By the way, he has no tweets.
All he does is get involved in conversations.
So he's just pretending to be a big fan of Stuttering Jab. That is completely incorrect. There is one
tweet. There is one tweet. Yeah. And it's well worth it with the emoji thumbs up and a link to
John Melendez is an official John Melendez tweet to retweet to check out my cameo profile
So I got a by line right there right there. I didn't see that. Wow. That's the only actual tweet. He oh
John attention attention. I need everyone to immediately start listening to the Suttering John podcast here
Let's just be honest if you don't know you're all just a bunch of complete morons. They have no wife and shouldn't even be on earth.
So go fucking listen.
He even writes like Suttery Jad. That's how you know it's Suttery Jad.
It's up to Kama's.
So this was brought- someone brought it to my attention. They didn't want to be named, but I thank you very much because I can read this all day.
Oh, can I just like tweet back and like, oh my god, thank you for the advice.
I just made the beer? And I'm like, oh my God, thank you for the advice.
I just made the beer can't check it.
We all have to resist this, because we all want to do it.
Well, we have to stay strong.
We have to stay strong and just observe and enjoy.
And if you want, because there's no way
Jocelyn's gonna show, especially in the third hour,
like we're in right now.
If you want, you can send me your favorite clips clips And I'd be happy to read through those the fake Twitter
The fake Twitter account say all have them remember when he called out Howard Stern
When he told his staff to create fake Twitter accounts to promote the Howard Stern show. Are you telling me that
Stuttering John is a hypocrite
Is that what you're telling me?
Boy, all right people are upset that we're just reading Twitter on the show now. I don't care
What I mean like y'all care about me
I care about how do you feel we go back to talking about slam poetry if you'd rather ask you that
Honestly, y'allakov back on the line.
I'm still there.
We actually have a brand new segment
that we're gonna bring to the show.
But first, I'm gonna wrap things up.
So you're gonna have to wait until after the end of the show
to hear the new segment that's after the show.
Does that make sense?
Sure, bud. Absolutely. Be honest, don't want people to be pissed off about the segment and say, why is this's after the show. Does that make sense? Sure, bud.
Absolutely.
But there's no one people to be pissed off
about the segment and say, why is this part of the show?
It's not.
It's after the show.
Right, it makes the show's almost over.
There is no tease.
What's good about it is it's one file though.
So, you know, it's not part of the show.
It's not part of the show, but if you keep the show flag,
you'll hear it.
Is how that works.
If you're expected something else to play immediately after the
It will not right you will not go to a different shit. I'm Carl and ugly Vinnie. Maybe what do you want to promote my friend?
Oh, yeah, going on just telling jokes of strangers from one of your booze
I'm performing with Jade Kata preta. She's a new host of the soup all right coming up at the end of February at Comedy of the Carlson I'm performing with Jade Cotta Pretta. She's a new host of the soup. Alright. Coming up at the end of February at Comedy of the Carlson. I'm also
Comedy of the Carlson cast. Coming up next week.
The great Tami Pescatelli.
Alright!
Followed by, uh,
We just had Tim Meadows on.
Yeah.
Which was kind of an interesting one.
Was he good?
No.
Uh, but he, there's some interesting conversations in there.
If you'd like to talk here about what I was talking about when
Actors and people who are in improv get into stand-up. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what we talk about awesome
It's not really quite the selling point, but it was an interesting interview nonetheless Tammy Pasquatali
Was also interviewed by Greg Opie Hughes. I hope you radio. I think you should ask her about that experience
You want me to say hey Tammy? Was this interview worse than the one you did with Opie Hughes. I hope he radio. I think you should ask her about that experience. Do you want me to say, hey, Tammy, was this interview worse
than the one you did with Opie?
That's how you should wrap it up.
100% off.
I think I did a terrible job today.
I want to apologize, but I just have to know,
this wasn't as bad as what Opie interviewed you.
Right.
I would say this was a great interview.
You know, right?
Okay.
Way better than that Opie, right?
That meat tits, right?
That makes more sense.
So please, join us again next week, because we don't even know what it's going to be,
but it might be the episode we find out what's for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Sleep well, everybody.
Party in the muskets of Morning Radio.
Hey, now to show these cold, right now.
Hmm.
Okay.
Great show.
Good job, everybody. Great job everyone. I I don't know.
I don't know.
My friend Vic is in the Discord.
Vic, are you there?
Hi Carl, what you wearing?
You know I'm wearing.
You've been on the webcam all morning.
Oh yeah, you're right.
I've seen the donations coming through and I do appreciate those.
Vic, I sent you over.
There's a guy named Coleman who loves the show and has compiled a list of all of our reviews
in every country that people review us.
There's a Google spreadsheet that has tabs for every country
and every review on there.
No shit.
And I have sent that to Vic because we don't get
to these reviews anymore.
And it's a shame, there's some really funny shit in there.
All right.
And no one like shitty got me more than our friend Vic.
So I thought it'd be a lot of fun to have Vic read our reviews
and pick out some choice ones to read to us while we're
here. I'm game, right? I'm in. Why not? So Vic, are we going to do a thing where you read it and we
try to guess how many stars it is? Yeah, yeah, you'll have to guess. Okay, that sounds good. We'll take
it away. What do you got? Okay, so this one, it's titled Yon. It was written in May 14th in 2018,
and it's from the UK, so you get shit on from there.
He said, a real bore.
They're trying to be funny,
but come across this immature and homophobic.
It's rather ironic that many of the things
they criticize other podcasters of doing,
they do themselves.
Listen to two episodes and unsubscribed.
All right, I'm gonna guess that's a one-server view,
and I'll tell you why.
When people shenanas in a funny way,
they don't use the word homophobic.
Solid-point, right?
And they generally don't say unsubscribed either.
Yeah, it's pretty specific on what they're doing.
Yeah, you're right.
You guessed it. Good job, Carl.
One for one.
I don't know how you're homophobic though.
I don't understand that either. I mean I don't like to call people they
But I don't think that's anything to do with
Not liking gay people
No, that's just
grammatical errors. Thank you
But speaking of homophobic. Yeah, this one is called get a life and
Do you remember the what's the tea episode that was like literally so fucking long ago?
So what's the tea is that with RuPaul? Yeah, yeah, I do. And the dumb bitch. Yeah, I said,
do you remember that? Yeah. So this review was written December 14th in 2019.
It's it's titled Get a Life. They said they reviewed what's the tea with
absolutely no humor. When out of their way to find an episode with a guest they
just liked and strained not to enjoy it to fill their time. Why are they
finding it now, Carl? That's a good question. And why would they think that I
had to strain to not enjoy RuPaul's podcast? And why would they think you need to
fill your time?
It's a fucking podcast, you know, I'm not...
Like there's no time limit, stupid.
There's not a clock here.
That is one of the fun things.
Oh, go ahead.
I think RuPaul had a timer.
Like because they were always talking like, oh, you know, we barely have enough time to
do this, but I guess I'll talk about like your saggy titties or whatever.
Yeah.
Well, RuPaul's time was up in 98.
Oh, shots fired. Not really. She's very successful. Talk about like your saggy titties or whatever. Yeah, well RuPaul's time was up in 98. Oh
Shots fired. Not really. She's very successful. He is very successful. Whatever
He hasn't transitioned. He's just a drag way of whatever. I don't know either. It's all very confusing these days I do think it's funny though, Vic that you point that out one of the great things about our show is it's set up for SEO
So as people start googling their favorite podcast titles,
lo and behold, there's who are these podcasts showing up on the first page of Google?
Like a snake in the grass.
Anyway, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm by a genius possibly.
I don't know. I know for sure.
I think it's just a marketing car.
That's right. All right.
Vic, by the way, your reading skills are a lot better than I expected for my fifth grader. So
who does? I mean, my mom said I read like a freshman in high school, so it's good.
Oh, your mom's very encouraging. I like that. When she's not hitting me. This next one is called Carl's Amenest to Society. It was written
October 19th, 2019. Carl makes me want to shove a toothpick in my big toe and kick a wall
as hard as they could. Then rubb salt into the wound and rip the toothpick out faster than when
I start a weedwacker. Why are you like this? Do you get a sick thrill from blowing my ear
drums out with your yelling? I'd rather get another catheter than listening to this boomer podcast.
Faster!
That's definitely a my sorry.
Yeah, but the interesting one with that is
I'd rather get another catheter.
Like does he have one in the,
is he gonna insert two?
Yeah, how does another catheter work?
Does that like, is that to go into the peel?
I like how he's talking about
get himself a second catheter
and making fun of you for your kicks.
Nope, that's a good point.
Alright, what's that I realize is too deep.
Well, you know, it's interesting.
They go out of their way to like write a lot of like big reviews.
Like this is like maybe like 30 words and five, six sentences.
It's a lot of time spent. All right.
So this one is incredibly boring as a title.
If you want to hear two adult men that are genuinely immune
to irony with voices that rival Ben Shapiro's in terms
of great, this podcast is for you.
That's a pretty good joke.
rival Ben Shapiro's voice.
I hate listening to my voice, so I've got to with them on that.
I can't argue with that one.
I can't argue with that one. I've been to say it's a five star.
It's actually one star.
Ah!
Oh, wow.
Wow. Damn it.
All right.
We're not out of business.
So this is the last one.
It says, I really needed a laugh.
I recently came out of a dark time of my life as I watched my 93-year-old grandmother
slip further into the icy grips of dementia
Where she would spend most times not recognizing me or any other members of my family
I needed a laugh and gave your podcast a try. I could honestly wish I had another grandmother to watch dwindle away as I opposed
To listen to any other show
All right, I'm gonna guess that's a five star
I'm going to second guess that's a five star review. I'm going to second that. That's a five
star review I've ever heard of. And actually, if that person wants to come on to be the co-host next
week, I did have Andy lined up, but I think that person's on the left one here. Yeah, apparently Andy's
grandmother's doing just fine. Alright, all right, Vic, you know what I need to do? I like the segment.
All right, Vic, you know what I need to do? I like the segment.
We gotta get, you do?
I do.
Okay.
I mean, you might not like it.
I'd probably be better with a different co-host.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Someone who could maybe like pay a tangent,
it wants to be a graded bed.
I haven't paid a tangent.
I've listened to the whole thing.
I've helped analyze them all.
I've helped analyze them all.
Crow should be a lot better for this.
Oh, you just shut up.
What we need, what we need, Tori, is the gen from the Jingle
department to create a jingle for the segment.
That will make it official.
I would agree.
That will make it much better.
If we had that, we could do it during the show.
The reason why we can't do it during the show
is because there's no jingle.
Right.
Is that how you officially decide what goes in the show
and what doesn't?
Definitely not.
Yeah, obviously not.
Well, I thought she was out of commission.
She hasn't made a jingle in a wild car.
Seriously, what the fuck is it?
Put the bench to work.
Put her to work.
Are we still paying her?
I got to check the fucking payroll.
She gets paid.
I gotta see.
For pity.
What is it?
If you were making money on the show,
everyone put you, my friend.
Fair enough.
But remember that huge plug you gave a awesome show
you're doing in Rochester, in February?
Don't know what show's dead.
Think about all the people are gonna be coming up
to that show now.
It'll be sold out, eat a dick.
All right, let's listen to you.
I think it will be sold out.
I'll probably be there too.
Thank God.
Let's listen to a guy who called in who said
that our Doug versus Doug episode was copying the Dixho.
Hey, Carl, what's that guy who called you out for copying the Dixho last week?
So I was concerned my voice now wouldn't be played because at the beginning of the segment,
you said they all sound like they're in the middle of a windstorm or some shit?
So the thing about that is I literally recorded that in my car in the move a rainstorm So my question is how shitty are these guys's audio quality where they weren't played by mine was
Call me back
Shamest level shitty is the answer to that this guy need a little more of your attention daddy. I
Was really bad last week. I don't know. Do you guys do you don't do voicemails?
No, I love people tax you get the next day, which I appreciate you reading my tax to boss. Thank you for doing
You're welcome and keeping him on point on it. Yeah, you're welcome. He didn't want to talk about it at all
No, he did not he's like, what are you? What are you talking about? Who's yours guys? What's your wife do an episode of this show?
Is that that show? No one's ever heard of except where I talked about it at Lifeslash?
I was here.
I screamed about it on the radio and the internet.
Yeah, that's the one.
Uh, alright.
I don't know what to say other than I tried.
Here's some of the things that our previous episode was crows and Debel de Roth was fantastic.
Hey, what's up, man?
I just listened to it with that episode.
It's fucking good.
All of them are good.
You do a good job, Carl.
I love you, man.
Bye.
That's a great way to get your voice
played on this show.
Keep it under nine seconds and say that we're awesome.
Repeatedly.
And, Sam, like, you just finished jerking off.
You laid it up bad.
But he's just, oh, baby, that was just the best podcast I ever heard that guy is covered in come
He's about to roll over and go to sleep. He's literally done. David Lee Roth
Wanted to sing one of his oh this is this is fucking amazing
We talked about David Lee Roth in the promo they talk about he is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Uh-huh, and we didn't talk about about that but apparently there's a story to this.
Hey Carl, I really enjoyed the David Lee Roth episode really good but I'm not really surprised the guys didn't catch something when they were talking about the lost Vegas tour.
They said in Hall of Famer David Lee Roth, Rock and Roll Hall fame. I'm like, huh, that's interesting.
You mean the Rock and Roll Hall fame induction
you didn't show up to?
That's a weird fuck, okay.
Call me back.
Now I would say being in a Hall of Fame
and not showing up in the ceremony,
actually makes it cooler.
Yeah, I would get that in the argument.
I like that's rock star.
That's a rock star.
You're like, I don't give a fuck,
but I'll put it out on my profile. Hey, it would have been there
But somebody had to flip the burgers, you know, baby like it's just some stupid that he'd say
So I went on research this I didn't know about this
Okay, the reason why he didn't show up is because now any was unavailable at that time
He was in rehab, so they weren't gonna get Van Halen to come back and perform songs
They couldn't have just gotten Wolfgang. So they had a house band who would play any song that David
wanted to come up and sing with them. David wanted to do his solo shit. He's being detected for Nice That's the girl you see I've never heard I actually love them now
That's the best
I would have to sing California girl
It's not a side of you say
Just to jiggle oh
Even though the part I'm pleased who knew that we could do a DLR impression. Oh, yeah, man. I'll dead. That's pretty good
You should hear my yacov you should hear my yacov
You guys gonna do the laugh
I think that was also any Murphy I think that's all so many Murphy's laugh
I think that was the thing that when we talked to yacov at the discard, I think we were missing the laugh. Yeah, and jokes, but you know, right.
I mean, that, it is Yaka.
So that part was pretty spot on.
The Bushes, this is a great voicemail.
And I might say this is the best voicemail
we've received in months.
He's gross.
Why don't you just blow Neil Young already.
Good to set it better myself
So I mentioned that Drew and Mike is a show out of Detroit that's been talking about us non-south They're talking about a bunch more gonna talk about people Carl's gonna blow. Yeah, right. I know
Too late and I are fucking BFFs. It's crazy and I if I had more time
I would have pulled more clips of them talking about us that usually I do that but anyway one of their fans
called into the show. Hey Carl listen up from Michigan here I want to say I'm very
happy that you guys are getting in with Drew Lane from the Drew Mike show
girl listening to them great show said here they were off air glad to hear
they're still going strong I'm excited to see what
you guys uh you guys talk about when it comes on the show please don't show
him shameless the love of God don't show him shameless all right call it back
Drew is well aware of shameless at this point so all you have to do to get
played is just say nice things about this podcast really no and suck up to the
people that you're like no
This guy is going through our back catalog and asking me questions about shows that we've done in the past like he's all in on it
You're kidding me so he asked me goes all right
He goes on his car. I'm just getting caught up who is Shamus?
So I gave him the whole that's why I went through the whole thing today. I gave him the whole backstory
He's endlessly fascinated by this guy. I have a feeling the shameless might have a gig
in Detroit, come I got pretty soon.
There needs to be a team studying shaman.
Yeah, but okay.
He's gonna be too busy to do our comedy show.
He's gonna have somebody offer us out the table.
Yeah, please.
Nobody's gonna offer more than my sweet, sweet $25 coming his way.
Vick, would you be an MC at the Suttering John
and Brian Dunkelman comedy show that we're running
on?
You got to be a cheater older to get into the building.
You know, I have a fake ID and I've just put on a mask, but I would love to be one of
the ring girls, you know what I'm talking about, like from WWE.
I do know, they don't have ring girls.
That's sex.
No, it's a thing now.
Okay.
Do you promise to wear open toe shoes?
No, clothes toad, but I'll just put a picture of feet on it.
That's a weird shoe.
It's a picture of feet.
It's fashion, Carl.
You want to understand you fucking boomer.
As long as it says Jordans on the back, I'm sold.
Yeah. Well, at the Timberlands, you fucking boomer. As Liza says, Jordan's on the back. I'm sold. Yeah.
Well, at Timberlands, you're doing it.
Carl is wearing his very fashionable savers hat today.
I couldn't be more of a fucking nerd from Western New York.
Oh, somebody called in to talk about the fact
that whose right is no longer putting every other show
behind a paywall apparently?
Carl how's it going man? Hey, so remember a few weeks ago I
Called it and gave Doug and Anthony a whole bunch of shit because they went to
Like behind a paywall, you know by weekly episodes and unless you paid
Well, I guess my endless bitching about it worked because they're back to weekly
episodes again. Yay me. I'm still not going to listen to it. Thanks. Thanks. See you later.
Wow. This guy really gets done. I just want to point out that as a proxy, I have once
again fixed the Who's Right podcast. I just can't stop
helping these guys. Can you start working on the cancer problem? Maybe YouTube. No, I
got no fucking problems. I should mention that I got a note from Doug this morning saying
that him and Kai have been talking. They'd like to do another car list w-a-t-p episode
I say no I'm for it no it's good
no it's good because you don't get that like shrill like just ringing in your
ear after you listen to it that's good to that it's a good point I should I should
say you can do it but you have to have Vic out as a third chair. Uh oh. I think that'd be fun. I still say no.
I don't even know now.
Especially no.
Alright, I said one more voice mail to play, but it's one of the funniest voice mail
we've ever received.
Okay, band practice.
I get it.
You can fucking read me like a book.
Okay, no, this is not band for this guy, but this is brilliant.
I just want to give you a picture and fucking blinked him.
Did you follow that video? Yeah. Alright. I enjoyed it. Yeah, it's funny. I'll give I'll give I'll give props. That's good. It is funny. It is funny. Anything you want to promote before we go?
No, the comedy at the Carlson cast said
Yes, she said.
They're forever five guests. Just review them one star.
All right. Well, great job reading our reviews because I sure
a shit don't want to anymore.
But I enjoy listening to them.
I like Vic. We're still going the business.
Her elbows are amazing.
Okay. You're joking, right?
I'm sorry, elbows.
Wow. Hang your out after.
Okay. All right.
Well, thank you again, Vic, for coming on.
Yeah. Thank you, Carmel.
Thanks, Tori. And thank you, Vinny, for hanging out.
As always, fantastic, really enjoyed it.
Yeah, no one likes this part of the show.
You guys should all just kill yourself. you