Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep274 - Jersey Shore Fanily Reunion (Live)
Episode Date: August 29, 2021This week we take the stage in Chicago to review a podcast where four boring dolts talk about the Jersey Shore and their own riveting fan fiction. There's only one female host but don't worry, she mak...es up for it by talking incessantly. After pissing off a room full of people with Becky's nonsense, Cros, Andy, Jen, Chris, and Dick get into Patrick Michael asking Josh Potter how he parties, Trey Peacock asking Josh Potter what he eats, Vinnie's latest scum parade, and Stuttering John's recent buffoonery. Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
My name is producer Chris.
Thanks everyone. Thanks for being here.
I want you to help me welcome to the stage Patrick Michael Paulino. Hello. So if life is like a box of chocolates, what do we tell the diabetics?
I grew up in a trailer park. I didn't think it was weird until I found out I was the only kid in my class with a pet raccoon.
That raccoon went on to get a part in that eddy Murphy documentary.
You know the one where he talks to the animals? Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
I was born with a spork in a rat tail.
My mom still has both at a drawer somewhere.
Fuck me or fight me, bro.
When I was born, my head was so big they thought I had water on the brain. which is serious, but it turns out I'm just a genius.
Woo!
Woo!
I'll be honest with you guys, I hate silence.
I keep a fan on, you know, in the background like music.
I really hated sounds when my girlfriend gave birth to our first son and didn't make a sound.
You guys think Willy Wonka was divorced?
You know that scene where he has half a hat?
Like somebody took half of his shit or something?
Woo!
I'm not for going out much. I like going out to party, but I just keep being asked to leave, which is what I'm going to do now.
And don't tell me it in light by show, that'd be absurd. TPP lives
Am I here holy shit love back
Lab bar cuz this thing on A? Yeah! Yeah!
Woo!
Get a microphone over by, uh...
I got one.
Jenny Jingles?
I have it.
Ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Podcasts are the best
Except for when they're not Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, W-A-T-P-W-A-T-P
W-A-T-P
Who are these podcasts?
W-A-T-P
Who likes these podcasts?
Not W-A-T-P
Who makes these podcasts? That one's beyond me Who are these podcasts? That one's beyond me. Who are these podcasts?
W-A-T-P.
If there's ever a podcast to watch for it, it'll be this show right here.
Tell your friends, tell your family.
We'll do it live.
Episode.
We'll do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. It'll be this show right here. Tell your friends, tell your family.
We'll do it live.
Episodes.
We'll do it live!
We'll do it live!
We'll do it live!
It's bull or a**!
Fucking thing sucks!
You know what I miss penis?
Are you a boner guy?
Couss!
Couss a roo!
Couss a roo!
Slapperoonie!
It's showtime.
Woo!
A W and T-P.
W and T-P.
The way, T-P.
The way, T-P. Hello, River.P. W.A.
T.P.
Hello, River Dixon, Kuzuru's
Welcome to the episode of Who Are These Podcasts?
The only show that shows
to do a live show in Chicago
because Kabul is slightly more
dangerous. I'm your host, Karl
Hamburger, AKA ISISK.
With me this week all the way
from the Jiggle's Department, Jen from the Jiggles Department, give it up.
Also, also with me, the man who's jokes we find out about when we listen back after the show,
it's producer Chris. And joining us at our first ever live show, a man who declared he's the greatest
podcaster of all time, his very first time podcasting and for someone for
some reason everyone went along with
that trucker and he is here trucker
and
also joining us Carl let's talk shit. I'm sorry. And I'll hold on a minute. Also,
joining us. The man whose family owned an unnamed grocery store chain, it's
Kroge.
Please go to who are these that kind of your email address voicebound that we're linked to our summer to leave the discord server link to our merchandise link to the YouTube channel of course that link to our page around a supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month I'll be recording a bonus episode on Monday that will be out before the end of August hence two bonus. Every single month can't stress that one enough.
Also, we encourage our listeners,
because five star review on Apple Podcasts
and shit all over us in the comments section today.
We'll be reviewing a show called
Jersey Shore Family Reunion.
This is a suggestion from Andy.
Did anybody listen to this?
We've all listened.
We've all listened separately.
We kind of discussed it with each other a little bit,
a little bit more than normal.
Let's get into it.
This is a show hosted by Zach, Brian, Colin, and Becky.
And what they do is they do a show about,
I guess, Jersey Shore had a reboot.
Family vacation, it was called.
Right.
So they did a show.
They're like, oh, our favorite reality show is back.
We should do a podcast, talk about it
because we're so funny.
When we all get together and talk about Jersey Shore,
we do the voices and we do all the stuff.
Right, a show that was canceled years ago.
Yes.
Then MTV was completely out of ideas.
So they bring this back and then these shitheads that
think they're funny in their apartment decided to start a show, and then that show died,
and then this Becky moron, because the episode that we listened to has nothing to do with
Jersey Shore, by the way.
Correct.
So, why do they play this set up to that?
This is Becky decided to do a show on her own,
and they hadn't been doing shows regularly for a while.
So she explains what this is going to be
and also appreciates everyone's patience
for waiting for this new episode to come out.
Because we're all on pins and needles waiting for it to come out.
We've been on a pretty long hiatus,
so we appreciate your patience,
but I just wanted to drop in this Thanksgiving
and bring you perhaps a small fan fiction
that I did right now.
Oh boy.
It's not about the Jersey Shore people,
so I'm sorry for that,
but it is about Thanksgiving family back in 2011,
full of celebrities that I think you know and love. All right, so she wrote a fan fiction But it is about Thanksgiving family back in 2011,
full of celebrities that I think you know and love. All right, so she wrote a fan fiction
that she's gonna read to us.
This is the premise of this episode.
Thanks Andy.
Yeah.
Yeah, good one.
I went looking for something that was terrible
and I found it.
You did.
Yes, you did.
Congratulations, mission accomplished.
So the celebrity family involved in this is Tom Hanks' family.
So she's talking about a Thanksgiving with the most famous person in the world.
And you would think that these were just middle of the road family cooking their own dinner,
worried about, you know, are the Brussels sprouts gonna come out okay? Yeah.
Shit that Tom Hanks is not worried about on any level whatsoever. And she decides
that Rita Wilson comes up with this really funny thing she's gonna do for Tom Hanks.
And actually the whole story is based on this, spoiler.
Yeah.
Rita Wilson couldn't help grinning at her own cleverness.
She just finished tacking a personalized holiday
bunting over the entryway to the dining room.
She took a step back to make sure it was centered.
Happy tea, hanks, giving.
Red the burgundy and gold flags.
Granted, the visual style was slightly clunky,
but the pun would give Tom such a kick.
It's funny.
Why don't you think it's funny?
Thank you, Alex.
So literally this woman, Becky, you
were going to get into a lot, because she sucks.
She came up with this idea that Tom Hanks,
his first initial and his last name,
spells the word thanks, which is the first part of the holiday known as Thanksgiving, and that if she put this together for Usman Tom,
he'd be floored by this.
Now I get it.
It's hilarious.
So, this woman Rita Wilson is an accomplished actress, her senior and a mother, and Becky
boils her down to just like, I better please my rich, more famous husband.
So, at least she got something right.
So, this is how she introduces the story
and then she's still talking about it.
She couldn't help chocolate as she admired her work.
T.H.A.K.S.G.A.V.E.R.T.E.
She smiled softly, shaking her head
at the serendipitous play on words.
Why didn't I think of this before?
Suddenly she was gripped with a mortifying thought. Why didn't I think of this before? Oh boy. And then this goes into, I don't think of this before. Suddenly she was gripped with a mortifying font.
Why didn't I think of this before?
Oh boy.
And then this goes into, I don't want to play
all the clips of this.
But this goes into a whole thing.
It's like, does Tom not going to like me anymore?
Because I just figured this out now?
Yeah.
Oh no, what's going to happen?
She knows where Brett is butter.
This woman has a lot of insecurities,
and she's putting them all on Rita Wilson for suffraism.
Oh, woman probably doesn't have that many insecurities,
but she thinks she does.
And then when she starts writing dialogue for Tom Hanks,
she makes Tom Hanks the most uninteresting person anyone could ever meet.
I believe what's happening here is that he's playing basketball with his son
out on the driveway, which you do when you live in a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs,
like Tom Hanks does.
Colin had just blocked his layup attempt when Tom's phone buzzed on the brick parapet text from Baby Chat.
Was app was app Tom read aloud?
What is that? Another app I'm supposed to download?
Colin laughed and shook his head. I think it's from those old beer commercials boomer.
Boomer laughed Tom.
You're lucky we have to go get your brother.
Rolce's Boomer would trounce your buns on the court.
This woman wrote this.
She wrote it down and then decided I should read this
on a podcast.
Spot on Tom Hanks impression though.
You don't explain old shit to Boomer's.
You explain new shit to Boomer's.
That's what makes them boomers. Yikes!
I have a question.
Go ahead, Chad.
I hate Becky.
Good question.
And by the way, yes, is the answer to that.
All right, I've been playing all the clubs.
What do you guys want to get into?
Can I play a little more fanfic?
I'd love to.
So it turns out this is like a feature of every fucking show, and in one of whom she introduces
it, number 7.
Alright.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I don't know.
While he says the party is in the party is in the party
he's pants tonight.
I know I usually do the fanfic at the end,
but you guys want to go to the fanfic now?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Wow, amazing.
I'm so glad you guys feel this way.
I'm going to finish my popcorn.
Wait, she always does fanfics!
Oh, yeah.
Fuck.
And then she's like, are you guys ready? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it. Okay. I'm gonna finish eating first
She is endlessly boring. So then the next one she starts telling the story that she wrote and this is my favorite part of the whole show
Jay was dancing close with him for head pressed to his hips and see lips barely touching
Just barely breathing each other's breath for hours on.
And he hoped to God nobody could see the evidence of his painful erection.
He feared that.
Let's go a little clinical.
Okay.
I don't think they're supposed to be painful.
Well, if you saw an erection, would you assume it was painful? I don't think they're supposed to be painful.
Well, if you saw an eruption, would you assume it was painful?
I don't know.
Would you be embarrassed by that?
And at least this one is about the Georgie Shore characters.
Yeah.
Like, I watch people on TV.
What if they all fucked?
Right.
And then the crowd reacts to the show or the fanfiction.
Okay.
That was like a Bible story, Becky.
That was like amazing. story Becky. That was like
amazing. You did mention Orpheus. Talk about Shakespeare the Bible. And your
riddacy. Yeah. Incredible stuff. I'm gonna go out on the whim. They've never
read Shakespeare or the Bible. Well just guess it. There were a lot of painful
erections in Shakespeare. That're trying to get that.
That's a good point.
And do you want to jump in on this?
Sure. I went all the way back to the beginning, because I assumed that this timehanks
debacle couldn't possibly be what the show is.
I know. Sure. Show called Jersey Shore.
Yeah. So, uh, and let's see.
Just sorry, guys.
You should just write it down on paper like you used to.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun with that.
I should have been crossing it up.
He'll edit it in post.
So, uh, clip 12.
This is what episode one, this is what they wanted it to be.
But we're getting no, this is the episode one.
Yeah.
And I did start recording.
Hello!
Nice. All right, welcome to episode one of Jersey Shore Family, Marion. Yeah, and I did start recording Oh! Nice!
All right, welcome to episode one of Jersey Shore Family, Marion!
Badger, do you say we were recording like clamdulls?
I'm just sweating.
Are you guys okay?
I'm glad to have you.
Yes, I'm fine.
Put away my noodles.
All right, levels are off the chart.
God.
Brian's putting away his vegan noodles.
Was this recorded by Kevin of W-A-T-B?
He's getting shit.
Put away your vegan noodles.
Oh, this show is going to suck monkey balls.
All right.
I want to talk about Becky.
Let's talk about Becky.
And how much I hate Becky because she is stupid fucking blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
I put together a little comp of Becky
and the noises that she makes.
So there's a couple of things to listen to here.
It's not just the noises that she makes
where she thinks she's interesting
because her mouth does stuff,
but also the words she uses that's so enraging.
For a flutters.
You look like a ghost.
Go, go, go, little bit.
I'm sorry, I, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
I'm dear Gorg.
Right, right.
Season flipping one.
He's like, hmm.
You guys in the way.
Yeah.
Boiling 10.
Oh, it's impossible.
Polarious.
Me, I took that to do that stuff.
You really do that stuff.
Just a different cat.
No, fans, someone's playing it. And Vinnie's like, I'm actually going to Havas preyaddle. Just a different kid. No offense when we were playing in the locker.
And Vinnie's like, I'm actually going to have a spray.
The way it done it all.
Wow, you really should subscribe, honestly.
I'm actually a bit serious about it.
The way mom is said.
I'm going to be getting a point.
Oh, it's TV.
And I want to point out, there's four hosts on the show.
And Becky talks for 90% of the time.
And the guys are all interchangeable.
I have no idea who's talking when it's not Becky.
All sound the same.
It's the Becky show.
This, if you heard, right, just put together you to think,
well, there's no way that they think they're gonna make money
doing a show like this.
Like this has to be maybe someone uploaded to the internet
by mistake.
Oh, sorry, I put out 30 episodes of by mistake.
Like that's an island thing. But I'd be wrong. Well, by the way, we finally made our Patreon. We finally made
our Patreon. I was ambushed today. I came in to do the podcast.
Ridley ambushed to do the job we asked him to do 15 weeks ago. Brian Becky helped me
down and Zach. Zach was a very famous man. Yeah, more February in my ear.
Yeah.
Until I made a Patreon.
You can find us at Colin, take it away.
Patreon.com.
Backslash.
Family reunion.
I feel like I'm making a front slash.
I wish she would get a front slash.
It's not gonna front slash, but I'm happy to report.
I looked at their Patreon.
There are zero subscribers to it.
You know, thank God.
I'm surprised by that because their Patreon has excellent fucking content.
My number four talks a little bit about that.
Okay, before I play that though, I just want to tell you what's written on their Patreon page
that describes the show so you can get into it. It says,
We're four former roommates, or at least we used to be
What does that mean it means they're fucking dumb crows. That means they're dumb people. Yeah. Thank you
Here's your number four. Wait a minute. You know what something that we did not bring up last time even though baseball digger brought up
What our walk-out songs would be if we were on professional ball teams
Even minor leagues. That's a patriotic that's right., a-tron. You think that's patrion?
Okay, so here we are, Ben.
And episode two.
You can hear that on me.
And that's there at it, not mine.
Oh, no.
They caught away from the conversation
to discuss their minor league walk-up songs
and then come back and be like,
man, that shit was so hot, you had to pay for it.
It's fucking amazing.
That's Patrick Michael level shit.
Like, if you want to hear me say, Roy Richard anymore times that's only a pod culture it's
a little bit you're gonna find that. My clip 14 yeah Becky comes from the school
of like Game Cook comedy where if you say something in a
ridiculous way that counts as a punchline. Okay. That's a compilation of Becky's funny voice.
It is.
Well, they're old and they're old and old.
Well, yeah, it was just like a lot's gone down.
Yeah, five or six.
I'm always first.
Oh, God.
Very great.
Very great, the voice, the voices sometimes.
All right.
Oh, God.
So, Jen, listen to an episode.
I went back farther than you.
I listened to episode zero.
Oh, OK.
Whoa.
Yes.
Yeah.
There was an episode zero.
And they put together their own Becky board.
They did.
But in a different way, like, they think she's hilarious.
They think there's not enough Becky going out of the shell.
I disagree. So they had to put together their own.
So, and you and I both did the same thing.
We went, this is ridiculous.
I'm going to make a super cut out of it.
This is their version.
Kima, yes, yes.
Roger that.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
But it's boy, who, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, but it's boy who yeah
We did better yeah, and I want to point out
Becky and Brian one of the co-hosts are married and when you have someone you're married with on your podcast that's gross
No, no one likes that
It's annoying It's like we know why you got that job
Probably not even the head of the department anymore.
Now, here's the one I made because I don't hate the audience.
Number three.
Yeah, as a bing!
I mean, that's all you need, right?
Hear that? You're like, all right.
I was straight, then I heard that.
Not straight?
Are we making fun of a slow adult right now?
I'm sorry, I think I just turned to that feeling bad about this.
Wouldn't be the first time for W-A-T.
Stay tuned for more of that.
Good boy.
Take a lot of good points right now.
What else you got, Kroge?
These hosts have a relationship with the telephone
that I found was interesting, because they're kind of younger folks,
you know what I mean?
And they missed out on the glory of prank phone calls number 11
yeah
she doesn't have belly ring and he does have a prince Albert in a camp
I don't know and I just a prince Albert I do prefer a prince Albert
well that was it I remember there was always that thing it was like do you have a prince Albert it was a phone prank
your prince Albert and can we bear a little amount. But that couldn't have been about.
But that could have been about a few.
There's ever make prank calls.
You're referring to a running thing now.
Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you for something.
Did you guys ever make prank calls?
You mean is your refrigerator running?
No. Yeah. I haven't made that call.
But then they turn it around.
You know what I mean? It seems kind of boring.
But they they spin it into some good content.
The next one.
Oh, good.
I felt crazy when my older sister called into request a song on the radio.
Like that, we were very straight-laced in my film.
Yeah.
I can't believe you're calling into the radio.
I still remember the song.
It was Noct. 3 times.
We called into an all these station requests.
Oh, no.
That's a different one.
Did it work?
Yeah.
Um, that's you.
And what happened? Did it play Noct. That's you. And what happened?
Did it play Doctorate Times on the ceiling?
Great story.
Yeah.
Impellent and rich.
It's not even the story's not even a full sentence.
We call the radio station.
They play their song.
I mean, it's not even a fucking story.
They had to tell it three times.
All right.
I'll tell you a true story, because it's just
reminded me about calling it a radio station.
So I'm from Western New York.
We go to Buffalo Bills games there, and we get really drunk.
And then we're driving home from the Bills game.
We're listening to the Post game show.
And we call into the Post game show.
We do this over and over in the entire ride home,
which is two hours.
We call into the Post game show, and just start talking
about the game.
I think we know what we're talking about.
Yeah, the receivers are running routes,
and they're blocking really good up front.
You know, just generic shit.
And they're like, yeah, this is great.
And then we go, oh, someone wants to talk to you.
Hello, this is OJ.
If the bills don't win next week, heads are gonna roll.
And we don't always get hung up on, but it was worth it.
So, coach, I broke your flow.
What do you got?
Compelling in rich.
So then they call it sex line,
because these guys are all sex stop.
And that's my number 13.
It sounds like. Every now and then it would be like a sex line and then you hang off immediately call it right now
I try hot food
No, we've called the family
You think we this would be like at
Put it on the speaker.
You think so? This would be like at horse camp at the public floor.
I have been at the combination number one talk line since 1995.
If you're over 18.
Oh!
No!
No, see stop charging that.
That's crazy.
Hot boo?
This is a bad team at my later? Hot boo!
And that's all it took for that whole game to break up is if you're over 18.
Yeah, that was the punchline to God.
I don't even know. I can't even fucking fast.
I hate this podcast. I hate you Andy.
Yeah. I was so around you before.
It's very hard to do this podcast in front of this audience.
Everybody is looking at me with angry faces.
Everyone is mad at me right now.
Yes, the middle fingers right here.
I see that in the discord every single week.
And I know what's directed at.
Not me.
That's what I tell myself.
Not me.
No one is having any fun.
So the reason why, yeah, especially not me.
The reason why Becky had to write this fanfic about Tom Hanks is I think this she's in
love with the younger son, Chet Hanks or Chet Hayes, whatever his rap name is.
It was honestly kind of an inconvenience to come home for Thanksgiving considering how
extra horny all the girls were who didn't go home for the holidays.
Only girls loved Chet Hayes.
And not just for being the son of America's dad, they loved him for being a sick-ass rapper
with baby blue eyes in the attitude of a rescue pit bull.
I don't know what you guys, but I think somebody's got a...
Cresci Pooh!
That whole thing was just to play that job.
That was the only reason why I pulled back that.
Only on a Jersey Shore podcast could somebody be painted as a hero like Chet Hays.
Oh!
My boy, Summer!
Oh, my boy, Summer!
Oh, boy.
So, getting back to this story where they're talking about preparing a Thanksgiving meal. What Becky wants to do is she
wants to show up her knowledge of preparing meals through this real person in this fictional story.
The stuffing was in the oven just about the turkey. The potatoes were washed and peeled. The salad
greens were still safe in the crisper thank god. She learned the hard way that salad always has to be prepared at the very last minute. See, she wasn't an
idiot, she learned from her mistakes. Leafy greens wounded if you left them out and dressed
for too long. Unless it was a kale salad, then you wanted it to wilt a little bit. Oh no.
Should I have made a kale salad instead of the spring mix with pear vinegar? Everyone's
obsessed with kale nowadays.
What will Tom think of spring mix?
Why didn't I even consider kale?
She pressed her fingertips to her temples and closed her eyes very tightly.
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
The way she's describing Rita Wilson is very insulting.
Is it she's some house frail from 1957?
Who's like, he's gonna beat me with the shoe again!
Why did I pick the spring mix over the camel
as I think I get?
Thank God she told me to watch my potatoes.
I've just been eating 30 potatoes like an apple.
Yeah, the fuck.
I mean, very impressive, Becky.
I'm sure you're able to cook a meal.
That's really impressive shit
that you're putting out there on the internet.
Andy, what else did you pick up on my friend? Meanwhile, Tom Hanks is having an existential
crisis in Clip 6. Okay. Tom, fine on the felt like he could stop holding his breath. Elizabeth
was home, which meant all his children were home. Under his roof, and in an hour or two, he'd be chowing down on turkey and gravy with the people he loved most in the world.
2011 had been a tough year. Larry Crown was doing well, and that John
up in Sacramento, one was too, but 55 had come at him hard, slammed him down
with a pro wrestler with some serious beef. I'm just a guy, Tom Fodd.
Just an average guy and gets to act in movies. I'm aging serious beef. I'm just a guy, Tom Fond.
Just an average guy and gets to act in movies.
I'm aging gracefully.
I'm kind to my fans.
Why do I suddenly feel like I just got buried
under a thousand pounds of what on a week?
Now, inexplicably takes place in 2011.
Why is it...
I think it's because it's because she started eating baby blood.
She wanted to make sure he wasn't in the Illuminati,
just yet, it's probably why.
I think she wrote this in 2011.
I had no reason to bring it to the table
until her, like all of her podcast co-host, abandoner,
they probably died of shame.
Right, so she had nothing except this fanfic that she wrote. Like she's going through her high school, you know, they probably died of shame. Right. See, she had nothing except this band-fick that she wrote.
Like, she's going through her high school notebooks.
She's like, oh, here's one.
And fucking Larry Crown.
Everybody come up and see me at the end of the show
and tell me what your favorite time hangs movie is.
Not one person is going to say,
Larry Crown.
I don't know what that is.
Yeah, exactly.
Who would be proud of something they did years ago
and then put it out on a podcast?
That's crazy.
You're going to get made fun of the few to do that. Who would be proud of something they did years ago and then put it out on a podcast that's crazy
You're gonna get made fun of if you do that
They're all gonna laugh at you People will cloud you if you do that type of thing. I know for this for a fact
On the research I have he's got the documents people it's got the documents
Um, all right. I'll play another fun clip here
These people are so boring that they laugh at nonsense and they also bleep out every
word including ass and bitch.
They bleep God damn.
Yeah, which okay, that's offensive.
Can we stop it with that salty language over there, Grosch?
Mind your manners, all right.
Jesus Christ, all right, Jesus.
Whole audience here and you're just out of control.
God bless.
He wants girls to come to him like a fly comes to sh**.
That's s**t.
Ha ha ha.
You're that nerd.
They're laughing like,
if it's your children who just said shit,
it's third grade.
Yeah.
Why are they censoring themselves?
I don't know.
They want to be a family show about a show
that no family should watch.
Yeah.
The Jersey Shore.
The whole point of the Jersey Shore
is the chick down to fuck or not.
And they're like, we better censor our show.
I want this to be family friendly.
Even her fan fiction, though.
He's got Colin hangs drugging the brother.
Oh, yeah, yeah. The way the story goes, it's called fan fiction though he's got Colin hangs drugging the brother oh yeah yeah the
way the story goes it's called chat Hayes ruins Thanksgiving but really
Collins the one who drugs his brother but fucks up and drugs his sister as she
pukes all over the Thanksgiving table it's the dumbest story anyone's ever come
up with it's not entertaining in any single what's a spoiler I'm sorry I just
ruined all your clips. Yeah
You can say painful erection, but not god damn got it. Yes I got I got one I call censorship and similes. It's number 10 all right
That there's a reality with that. Yeah, did you hear the camera man left?
It's my real reality
They signed papers that they weren't supposed to do that and they still did it
They know true love when they said what would you break a contract for when you see true love?
Do you think?
Can you guys imagine?
If you worked on the goddamn challenge and you got transferred to Jersey Shore and you were like,
Oh, I'm moving up at the world.
You know what I mean?
It's like if you were working on Star Wars a new hope and your last job was like
Some, I don't know, some stupid
What a payoff nice
Stupid impressive. I want to do that. Can I play you speaking of payoffs? Can I play you the the payoff?
The big payoff from this Thanksgiving story and I remember it started with she came up with this really clever thing where she was going to say T. Hanks giving because his name is Tom Hanks. I explained this already. Yeah. This is where it really all comes together. Dad did you get a chance to see the
bunting? It said happy T. Hanks giving. It was cute too. You could tell it was well made. Tom turned in his chair and picked up the fallen bunting.
Hey, tea hanks? Like Tom Hanks? He gestured to himself. That's pretty funny. Rita started laughing then.
I still wet with tears and Tom laughed with her. Truman and Collins started laughing as well. And Zoon Chet joined in.
Tom Hanks giving.
Why is she so proud of herself with that?
Does she think Ta, Mance, is that born?
This guy reads movie scripts
from the best writers of most creative minds
in the world, go to Hollywood
and pitch this guy ideas.
And he's cracking up or T. Hanks giving?
I honestly think she's one step removed
from that chick that kept breaking
into David Letterman's place because they were married
You know what I mean? Yes, and she's like crazy stalker. This is how I would describe her. You stupid fucking blah blah blah
I'm not cut. I can't argue with that. I've known that after she reads the story that's not
Sensible and boring and awful in every single way. She has the balls to say this. And that's the story.
That is 11 pages. That is 11 pages of fan
picture that I wrote for Thanksgiving as a gift for me to you. And fucking boo.
That's a gift to me as you're gonna receive with this gift. Yeah I'll be
returning this gift. Thank you very much. Fuck off, Becky. You stupid fucking blah blah blah.
Not cut.
Arrable.
Croak's anything else you want to add on this?
Yeah, sure.
So they, uh, they were going to do fun stuff soon.
I swear to God.
We got, we got a few hours here.
They read an NBA players, which I thought was fun.
My number 15, you guys know how much I love sports talk.
But I think Steph Curry is super hot. I knew you would think that I think Blake Griffin is super hot. I think that I
Think that Surge Ibaka is literally looks like a monster
Surge Ibaka, Surge Ibaka
She's finally got a night. What? Bro, what are you talking about man?
Why are they talking about sports?
Yeah, I'm fucking thinking.
I think that a guy in Chubacca would be a good center.
Yeah, I think so too.
Yeah, I want to see Chubacca.
Yeah.
All right, one more.
I can't get rid of that.
My favorite thing that Becky said the whole fucking time, like I heard this and I was like,
you know what? I like this girl my number 18 alright okay folks guess what the
episode's over that was the best thing I heard in 45 minutes all right I am
moving that I am moving that to the other board. That right there might even replace.
I gotta go, goodbye.
Goodbye.
Good bye, Gloggy.
Okay, folks, guess what?
The episodes over.
Oh, wow.
All right, she's growing on me.
I like back, you know, can she come on the show?
Well, she's the one next live show or does she live?
Let's get backie out here.
You're Jersey, I guess.
hilarious.
Oh my god, these people are so fucking boring.
They explain that the Jersey Shore is their identity,
and it's the reason why they're friends.
Guys, wow, we are covering Jersey Shore Classic,
meaning season, foot being won from 2009.
The whole reason we all even talk to each other!
I guess that was a joke.
It was, she stopped talking so they all started laughing.
I guess is how this show's structure works.
They must hate each other.
This is what you have to talk about.
I hate each other. I mean, this is what you have to talk about. I hate each other.
It's people suck.
Anything else you guys want to play?
I have a bunch more class, but I'm just getting tired.
Yeah, I can't.
I'm a really, really, really disliked these people.
I just really did.
Yeah, it's funny.
We were talking in the green room and we're like,
oh, this show is going to fly by.
We got so much stuff to talk about.
This is grind to a hallway
So with that Andy anything else you want to play any other
Well, this is normally when I play a drop for cringe of the week, but since the Jingo
department is here, maybe you can help us out.
OK.
Woo!
Woo!
Na-la-la!
Uh-huh.
Ready?
Yeah.
OK.
Cringe of the week.
Cringe of the week.
All right.
Wow, is that all it takes?
It's all it takes.
Let me learn a whole song.
Why?
All right, so this is coming in from Doom Slayer.
There's a guy named Philly Phenatic, and I guess he's got a show called Gaslighting, and
he's got a really, really hot take here.
If I want to go to Only Fiends, and by a video of a guy, I don't know, anally raping
a woman, just saying,
if that's what I want, it says what I'm into,
if I'm not saying I am, I don't need my credit card company
saying, oh, I don't think you want that.
Oh, we're not paying for that.
You're not paying for it, you're,
well, I'll pay for it.
Right, that's my money.
Right, in other words, take the money out of my account
and put it in their account.
You're a band.
You're not a fucking church. Take the money out of my account and put it in their account. You're a band. You're not a fucking church.
Take the money out of my account, put it in their account,
and give him a goddamn anal raping fill.
What's that illegal?
Why did he go with an example that's illegal?
There's so many other things you can say there.
If I were to buy an offental to kill George Boyd
and his family thrice over, master cards, you you let me do that. What's their problem?
Hey Philly, but addict not a good take
Not a good take
Take my money then take my body put it in a cop car and take the prison
Come on, master card step off
Jet I got a second one you want to hit it against? Oh, okay.
Crinch of the week.
Crinch of the week.
How would you do that to me?
I wasn't even in tune with the right key.
I know.
Gotcha.
This one goes in from our friend, Adam Thoreau.
All right, this is a short clip.
Listen carefully.
This show is called Two Girls and a Bottle of Wine.
Two girls. Sounds awesome. And a bottle of wine.
Hello I'm Janet. And Ashley. And I'm Amber. We are two girls and a bottle of wine.
Is Amber a bottle of wine? Is that what I'm to believe? They got a sentient bottle of wine. Here's a co-host. She's just whining I think
Brassam and the bottle of crankiness
It's amber
Wow, all right, so that brings us to our next segment and for this segment
Crowe's gonna take a quick break and I want to bring up our friend
Dick masterson dick best thing get off here buddy
I want to bring up our friend, Dick Masterson, Dick Benson, get off here buddy! I believe he's also known as Richard.
He laughed.
He's known as Richard by this guy.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show don't like my show
Don't like my show
Because I'm served Patrick Michael
Drop the show that we have not talked about yet. It's an episode of Do You Party familiar with the show deck? Do you party? Yeah, I've heard about it. Yeah, I haven't been partying right though
You're listening to this show. Yeah, cuz you have the electricity on yeah, just dumb show will turn anyone off to partying
So he has on
Josh Potter Vinnie's good friend Josh Potter comedian from Buffalo who used to
be on that show where he tackled in the background all the time and now he was
so good at cackling in the background he has his own show and so what I love
about this is Patrick Michael comes on. Does anyone else see this ghost over here?
Is this Sarah Gattas?
What he said was we made up Josh Potter and I are friends again.
Cool man, I appreciate that.
So Patty C Cups comes out and he's got a new nickname.
I didn't even know about this one.
Come into you live, my name is Patrick, aka Patty C Cups,
aka Patty Broken Skull,
AKA Patty Taste Means Nothing.
What?
What, that COVID?
That doesn't really flow that while
Patty Taste means nothing.
I mean, he had it with Seacups.
I don't even know what it means.
Kinda nailed it with Seacups.
I don't know what he did it to try it.
He's amazing.
Patty Seacups just made me wanna have a kid
so I could try to turn it into a Patty Seacups.
You should, you know.
You should.
Like, just like, how do I make you?
I'm gonna try my best.
Well, I'll tell you what you do.
When he's seven, you leave and never come back.
Because that is the story of Patrick Michael.
A lot of kids have been left at seven
and they have not turned into this
and made this beautiful fucking unicorn. Yeah, but at least there's a chance though.
Yeah, okay.
At least there's a chance. So I'll start there. They talk about Josh Potter's first
timed partying and you know he asked the same questions to every single guest.
What's the last time you partied? What was the very first time you ever partied?
Great question. Who doesn't want to hear about a 14-year-old
getting drunk on their sofa?
Awesome.
So this is Josh Potter's answer.
And all right, I'm going to set this up.
I'm going to let this out of the bag early.
I think Josh Potter is fucking with Patrick Michael.
I know he's aware of our show.
He's praised our show.
I think he went on there to tell tall tales.
Okay. And see if they would go along with it. And boy do they.
The one that like really sticks out is like Christmas. I guess I was 14 or 15. I can't
remember how well that was exactly, but it was like my cousin and I played our dads
in beer pong like all Christmas day and
Look at amazing we I ended the day by being black out drunk and
Puking in a dog boss. I think there's a toilet kind of situation. You know, I
Just thought it was a bathroom. I thought I was in the bathroom when I was the dogs bowl
All right, when you're 14 years old first first off, your dad does not get you blackout drunk because you can't get blackout drunk with your 14. The room starts spinning, you vomit a lot, and you don't drink for another month. That's what 14-year-old drunk means.
Also, is he like cosplaying as a pirate? Is it just like a bird on the side of his interview?
Yes, it's going on over there.
This bird is chirping throughout the entire fucking
episode.
They didn't introduce the bird either.
No, they never did introduce the bird.
So if you had a show, Dick, you interview guests
that you have on your show.
People are sometimes amusing in their own ways.
And you say something like, yeah, tell me about a time
you got drunk when you were kid.
They're like, oh, I played beer pong with my dad
until I got black out drunk, and I had two, yeah, tell me about the time you got drunk when you were a kid. They're like, oh, I played beer pong with my dad until I got black out drunk and I puked him a dog bowl.
How would you follow up with something like that?
What was your dad doing?
Was your dad's friend? Is that was your uncle or something like that?
So I would say, well, that sounds like, horse shit, I think you're lying to me.
And Patrick Michael doesn't usually do follow-up questions.
He has all the questions written down.
And this is why he tried to do a follow-up question.
In the playing of the beer pong, was it a proper beer pong table, and two was the cups
where the cups filled with water or beer?
That's so damn well.
That's so damn well.
It's just beer pong table regulations, man.
I know what! He's got to get the facts, man. Well, it's just beer pong table regulations
He's got to get the facts man
He has the heart and questions we need to know
We're the cups filled with water. I said I was playing beer
How is it possible that they were filled with water? Yeah, that wouldn't be
Beer pong anymore. He doesn't realize that the beer pong tables were
invented in like the last six years. He doesn't party. He doesn't party. Every sentence is
a teller. Right. I'd like to answer your two-part question with a question. Who gives a shit
and who gives a fuck? Alright. Alright, Andy,, if you're gonna make me try to find it.
Who gives a shit, who gives a fine?
Very good.
All right, so let's get into more of these hard hitting questions.
He talks about partying alone.
Do you ever party alone?
Yeah.
And...
I mean, we call that partying.
Listen to this answer.
I think we're losing the thread on what partying? Listen to that. Yeah, yeah. Listen to this answer.
I think we're losing the thread on what partying is.
And maybe I'm wrong.
You guys tell me.
I sleep in a race car when I partying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was wondering this before I came on.
I'm like, I guess I party to like sleep sometimes.
Like, I mean, I was just like, rip bones.
And I'm like, ooh, I've got like three Xanax left for tonight,
and I'm like, I like look forward to that.
It's like my party.
I'm gonna just wrap myself in a blanket for you and Xanax up
and like take, I don't know, drink a beer,
it's hundred and like a 40 or something like that, you know?
Really? Yeah, dude, I get it.
So the guy goes to your party by yourself,
and what he answers with is something that he'll be saying
in front of us support group in a few years.
Right.
Hey, do you ever shoot heroin by yourself?
Fuck yeah, I'm not sharing my heroin.
Of course I shoot heroin by myself.
What do you do?
Is drinking and playing PlayStation 5
in between beat off sessions, partying?
I mean, partying a load?
You have a between beat off sessions. partying? I mean, partying a little. You have a between beat off sessions.
You're not allowed.
Oh, my God.
Humber Bragg.
So my buddy, Trey Peacock, is on this show.
We got to get him on our show.
I think he's the best.
I think he's the best.
We got to reach out to him.
Because Trey Peacock, for some reason,
he just goes off on this tangent about him.
And this is so much about Josh Potter.
What are you doing?
Hey, my dad was on a house fest.
He probably saw him.
Who's his or death?
He was in a band called Systematic.
They were a heavy rock band.
They weren't big on their own.
But they played around a lot of the big
guys in that area. That time you know, Osfest was a big one for them, so that's a good one.
My dad was an Osfest and I'm an Autist. Good one, try it.
It's an Autist Fest. Thanks for sharing that. I love his uncomfortable giggle that he does when he adds out his sentence.
My dad was in a band you've never heard of.
He's the best.
Good one, good one, try it.
Why did he bring it up?
What was the start of that?
Well, there was a question.
How many music festivals have you partyed at?
Oh, that was the, that was the question.
I was at my dad was playing in a music fest.
I was sucking on some big booze in the back.
Don't need to brag about that, but I was one.
I was playing beer pong when I was seven.
When Black Sabbath was reunited and playing
for the first time in 20 years.
I don't want to brag.
With water, no big deal.
With water. It wasn't regulation size. I don't want to brag that. With water, no big deal. With water.
It wasn't regulation size.
We had to do what we could have had if we had.
So getting back to this Josh Potter telling BS stories,
he tells the story.
What's the craziest thing that's happened
you while you were partying?
He says, well, I'm from Buffalo.
And we were partying at this cottage.
And it's frozen.
The lake is frozen. So I'm just like walking around looking at this cottage and it's frozen. The lake is frozen.
So I'm just like walking around looking at my phone on a frozen lake and then I fell
through the ice.
And right there, I'm like, wait, wait, what?
You fell through the ice of a lake while drunk.
Hardy, man.
Yeah.
Fun.
And then it gets even crazier.
She tapes your pockets up in the Hollywood also.
He's talking about, now he has another story that's similar to that,
where he is going to go do a podcast with someone who lives in the Hollywood Hills.
She tapes your pockets up in the Hollywood Hills somewhere.
And this house had an entrance.
You walk through just like a gate.
But on the other side of the gate is like this bridge and a moat.
And I, I, it was dark and I thought like the bridge was something that was locked.
It's just a concrete slab.
So we're just adding a flat slab.
It's like an arc.
So you have to like step onto this, it just looks awful.
It's like you're stepping onto a folder.
And I went to go around it.
I was just going to walk around this thing.
And I thought the moat was the floor,
and I just walked right into a moat,
fully clothed with my shit in my pockets.
I can't believe my phone gate get destroyed.
Nothing happened to my phone really.
But then I just like fell in all the way up,
like submerged by the way.
Good night.
Good night.
It's like seven feet deep.
I'm submerged.
I just pulled myself out,
and then we're both just kind of scaring each other.
What the hell, like what do we do now?
Can I recap that real quick?
He was in Hollywood and fell into a moat that was seven feet deep.
I'm not buying it.
Walked into a moat.
Walked into a moat because it was dark out.
He'd never seen no fancy concrete bridge before.
Now Dick, you live in Los Angeles.
Yeah, we got arches all over the place.
This is very, very dangerous.
Oh, on the boats.
Yeah.
How many times have you walked into a mode while partying?
Well.
Should have been a easy answer, but I forgot.
Yeah. So what did he kiss the sleeping princess? I looked this up. I should have been a little bit of easy answer, but I forgot.
So what did he kiss the sleeping princess?
I looked this up because I'm like, are there really moats?
And there are. There are people that flakin' moats around their houses, but it's like decorative.
It's like a koipa.
Yeah, right. It's not a seven-point boat.
You're just trying to stop horses from getting into your house.
Horses?
Yeah, because the other king has an army.
Right.
I don't know, by the crazy one that's what boats were for, right?
Stopping horses?
Sure.
All right, it could be a rag.
All right, so then, trade jumps in with a great question.
One of the most about trade is that he's louder than everyone else on the show.
The levels are all over the place.
He's louder than everyone else on the show, and he are all over the place. He's louder than everyone else on the show and interrupts people all the time
to ask dynamite questions.
Yeah, man. We'll speak in a hot and cold, fucking your hype, but there me am. I'm curious
are there any, you got any party skis about fire? Like was it ever fire involved in your
parties, either intentionally or non-intentionally. What about that, man? Because there's always a running theme of parties and planes
and alcohol.
Have you ever partied in your fire?
You mean like a bonfire?
Yes.
Like a fireplace?
Sure.
What does he think the answer is going to be to,
have you ever partied?
What Josh Potter should have said was oh dude 9 11
I'm in New York, right second tower goes down. I got a 12 back me my buddy like we got nothing to do fucking hang out
We see all these firemen running so we think there's gotta be a fire
Yeah, we're fucking shit. We're throwing 12s to the first responders
The throne is high five is great. These guys would have been like oh sweet man. That's really cool
I've never party but intentional fire before let's go the throne is high five is great. These guys would have been like, oh, sweet man, that's really cool.
I've never party before that.
But that's intentional fire before.
Let's go.
So, all right, what I just said is a little ridiculous.
What Josh Potter says, I think might be as ridiculous
and they believe this.
So Josh Potter, Buffalo guy, Buffalo is known for tailgates.
They go to Bill's games, They party in the parking lot.
I mean, if you're not drunk by 730 AM, you're doing it wrong. I've been there.
That's true. But this is nonsense.
One tailgate, my buddy brought up PN. I know that he was a getting rid of.
And we just lit the, at the end of the tailgate, we lit the piano on fire and he played
volleyball. And he did fire while it burned.
So, because like, what else can we do? on fire and he played on fire while it burned.
So, cause like, what else can we do if we can,
we're gonna take it home and we're not gonna treat
this piano out in the middle of the parking lot.
So we had to do something with it.
So we let it on fire so it just burned.
He brought a piano to a tailgate.
Right there I'm going, what?
What did you put the grill?
Why would you bring a piano that would take
up so much fucking space?
Teacherely Luis?
Fuck his teeth.
Ray falls apart.
So he's saying they set a piano and fire in the parking lot of the bills game.
There's security at these games.
This would not be like, oh, that's cool, man.
Yeah, you could just let that burn out.
Go into the game, man.
First quarter is going to start.
Get it there, guys.
We'll clean it up.
We got this.
No worries.
Let it burn out.
We got a couple of testless on fire over here.
Don't worry about it.
I think Josh is fucking with him.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Because when you have stopped him and like,
wait a second, you're buddy brought a piano
and then you set it on fire and you kept playing the piano.
And I just have to ask if you partied with fire.
That's like a really specific story about fire and fire.
Yeah.
Seems a little too coincidental.
You did that on a YouTube party.
Yeah.
All right.
It's a party I want to be at.
Let's talk about Trey once again interrupting
with a very boring question.
Yeah, some number of them.
Well, let me ask you this, man.
I'm curious about fucking food, party food, man. Like, some number. Well, let me ask you this man. I'm curious about fucking food party food man
Like all right, you know every party night you're rolling in the squad
But can you got your designated driver?
Wrapping it at last party time to go home, but then I love you after that because I was thinking the same thing
I'm a driver
You know how it goes, right?
I don't know.
Get your sweet DD.
I don't know, DD.
Go it out, out of the town.
You rotate them.
You know, you're pulling straws
to see where you have to drive that.
You know, that stuff.
Time to go home, but then there's always the dude.
You're on the ride home and you're like,
hey guys, let's stop for some food.
Anybody else hungry? There's always the last stop you're on the right home and you're like, hey guys, let's stop for some food. Anybody else hungry?
There's always the last stop is snacks
before everybody gets home.
I'm curious what might be like your favorite go-to
after party snack or spotter, whatever.
Sounds like a jack in the box commercial.
Like a bad, yes.
Like a local bad commercial.
He interrupted a conversation that was going on to go,
hey man, do you ever eat food after you get drunk?
Yes.
Always.
We all do.
What'd you go to?
And then you take a shit.
And then what's the next morning like?
Well, I need me too.
And then I have a weighted blanket that I wrap up in.
Man.
Oh.
So Josh Potter answers this question.
Again, Buffalo guy, he says the right answer to this question.
The big go-to's were like, depending on the time,
like, Mighty Taco is the big one.
Mighty Taco is the correct answer to what you do
after you're done parting and you want to eat.
And I'll point out why I know this is the correct answer.
If anyone's ever heard the lyrics to the song that we play at the end of every single
episode, it used to be the theme song of the show.
We do mention Mighty Tacos.
They're playing killer rock shows.
They're holding Mighty Tacos.
They are the art of fucking two.
So this is now the music special.
Don't get up.
Don't get up. Don't come back. don't get up, don't get back,
come back, that's the last thing I'm gonna do, I promise.
I won't allow it.
So Josh is growing on me now because he's fucking with these guys.
And he's talking about Mighty Taco and I'm like,
I think I'm a Josh Potter fan all of a sudden.
I didn't think this would happen this way.
It's just a love note to you that he's dropping.
It might be.
It might be.
Do you, are you auditioning to be the guy that cackels in the background of his show?
Oh my god.
Do you think I have what it takes?
I don't know.
Let's hear your laugh.
Alright.
That's my job.
Alright, Andy, pretend you're eating peanut butter.
Yeah.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Alright, that's my audition, Josh.
You're hired.
Sweet. Thank you. All right, that's my audition, Josh. You're hired.
Sweet, thank you.
I wish I was exaggerating, and I am not exaggerating.
Two Bears, one cave, a fucking terrible podcast
with extremely successful and famous people hosting it.
It is hot garbage.
And if you like it, shame on you.
Trey is so much louder than Patrick Michael.
Sometimes it's not a good segue.
Sometimes I just do the next thing.
Hard cut.
Hard cut.
You listen to him, I'll curl.
Added it to that.
Now, I'm just bad.
Just bad at this.
This is a trade once again.
So much louder and interrupting.
Yeah, me and Trey.
What about you have a plan for it?
Like, go, all right, we're partying in the afterwards.
I got this box of pizza ready to go.
All right, hold on a second.
So is that the guy that's not fucking with him?
Yes.
That's the guy who's trying to do legit podcasts.
You ever line up a pizza?
No, what he said was you ever have a box of an entire box of pizza.
Now I'm aware of pizza boxes.
I know those exist, but I've never heard the term a box of pizza.
Do you ever have an entire box of pizza?
Well, I have a couple of pizza.
Well, that's a fight for tonight.
Would you?
I ordered a box of pizza.
I hope that's okay.
Well, how much pizza do we have?
Hope.
Oh, the entire box.
Oh, good. OK, that's going to be just enough pizza for us today.
I love it. I say it's drunk with this kind of shit.
Now, we know that Patrick Michael talks a lot about how he is constantly editing his
show, hours of editing, and he says, Dick Masherson and I can't take credit for his audience
because we're not the ones editing his show.
I mean he's right.
I mean the reason why his show is so great is because he edits it.
And this is a great example where things get a little glitchy.
And I believe Josh Potter's internet went out or something.
This is how he edits that.
Yeah, I know.
It's trying. How he edits that. Yeah, I know that's right back.
It's trying.
I don't know what.
There we go.
I was going to give it a little glitchy.
That's great.
He put a beat in the background.
There's no reason for having that to be in the show.
But he's like, I'll jump a beat right here. I edited the background. There's no reason for having that to be in the show. But he's like, I'll jump a beat right here.
I edited the show.
I edited the job.
Done.
Check it out the list.
It's like the tonight's show where the Simpsons were experimenting, technical difficulties.
Yeah, right.
Like the dogs got the thing pulled out of the socket and the wall.
He's 18 years old.
I could see it in my habit.
Yeah, guys are with me.
Consumant, professional.
So last clip from Do You Party,
and then we'll get into the briefcase.
Oh.
Yeah.
Josh Potter, set of briefcase fans here.
Briefcase?
Yes.
Oh, god.
It's perfect.
It's like a listenable TED Talk.
Just perfect, 17 minutes of insanity.
Yes, agreed.
And eight of those minutes are him promoting his Patreon
that has 27 people who give him money.
He's crushing it.
By the way, I was talking about this.
I think Chris and I were out getting an adapter
that I lost in the 11th hour.
I said, if Patrick Michael did a live show, how many people would go to it?
Hundreds.
I think so too.
I would go.
Yeah, I would go.
Right?
Yeah.
You guys would go see Patrick Michael live, right?
Yes.
These are all Patrick Michael fans.
Why is he mad at us?
I don't get it.
I don't understand. Why? Because we're laughing in his face.
Is that why he's upset? Alright, Farad, I have good point.
You made a good point. You can have like an art installation where he just sits at a table
and you can come and just look at him.
I would pay good money. I'd pay good money for that.
I'd put a class box like David Blaine. If there was a tiktok in front of him,
I wouldn't need to break a 20.
That's fine, that's all you, buddy.
You were subscribed to Tinder Plus on me.
That's what only fans
is going to become when they get rid of all the pornography.
Andy, you're not keeping up on the news.
They reversed that.
Oh, sorry, my joke.
I know, I won't fucking day. All right, I'll put on this episode three days ago, I'm sorry, my joke. I'm out. I want fucking day.
All right, I'll put out this episode three days ago, and then that'll be funny.
All right, last thing that I want to talk about with Josh just fucking with them, he tells
this story of going to Rochester to co-headline a comedy show.
Me and my buddy drove from Buffalo to Rochester to co-headline a comedy show.
Now, my buddy Vinnie Palino actually works at the comedy comedy comedy.
All right, Pete.
So I asked him, can someone come and co-headline a show?
Because isn't it the definition of headlining?
Like you're the last act?
Yeah.
Yeah, he goes, yeah, no, it's not co-headlining.
That's not a thing.
Anyway, they get really wasted.
They drive back to Buffalo and then this happens.
And she had a fence for the dog.
And before I opened it, I just puked in front of it.
And it was so solid and tall.
It was like a tall pile of paper.
And I did that.
And just went inside and went to bed.
There's no funnier visual than picturing a tall puke.
Like when he was...
Oh, it was so big. It was like compact and tall.
Has anyone ever had a tall puke?
Raise your hands if you puke, and it's tall.
Now, this...
This does not exist.
I've had a slender puke.
This is not a thing. You can have a tall puke.
He mentioned this multiple times.
Again, I think he's fucking with them. And're like yeah, that's hilarious dude tall puke
I hope so been there. Yeah, although yeah if Josh is not in on the joke. Yeah, you're puke
And it's like two feet tall guys
That's party. No
So there's this thing called gravity any flat earthers here all right all right
So don't listen to this next part, you won't agree with me.
There's this thing called gravity.
And what happens when you puke?
Prove it!
Prove it Carl!
Prove it with what you have on you right now.
Prove it.
How can you want Bitcoin?
Drop your pants.
So the moon is actually being projected onto the dome.
It's not real.
I knew I was going to back with that.
I knew I was going to back with that one.
All right, let's get into the briefcase.
So what Patrick Michael, Patty Seacup likes to do,
is he likes to do a show when he's completely unprepared
to do a show.
He loves it.
He's the raw hymn.
Yeah, he's interviewing the artist himself.
He celebrates the fact that he has nothing to talk about.
Welcome again to the briefcase podcast podcast you can have a band today's episode you know be about anything. Do I have any idea?
not at all
That is the joy that is the fun of it
This is
The briefcase podcast This is the Briefcase Podcast.
Bro, we can play background music, me, you and Sean.
Yeah.
Drums, guitar, piano.
We need you walking baseline under this.
Yeah.
I'm in.
Well, signing me up.
I'm gonna break one day and just kidnap him.
You're fucking doing this bit for me.
Oh, bro. You win. All right. I want you more
than you want me. So, Patrick Michael comes out and he goes, I don't know what we're going
to talk about. Could you narrow it down? Could you at least narrow it down? Like you're
probably not going to talk about like astrophysics, right? can we narrow it down to something and then he realizes oh yeah he lied he does
have something he wants to talk about is it shot in some oh I didn't set that
up correctly he's talking about the suicide squad who's not prepared yeah right
he's talking about the suicide squad the day-. Is it shot in some crazy, filtered CGI anti-aging, whatever,
film style?
Fuck no.
But is it fun as hell to watch?
Yes.
Is it filmed in an anti-aging film style?
Andy, you took film in college. What's anti-aging film style? Can you explain that one to me?
No. I don't think he knows what he's talking about. I don't think he knows what he's trying to say is, is it going to win awards? No, but I enjoyed it. It's a fun, fun movie. Do you think he even watched it though?
Because most of the time he doesn't.
I think he read a wiki pdf edge.
IMDb.
He should watch it, because he would hate it.
Because it's good.
I'm kidding.
And then he would talk about how he could have done it better.
Yeah, he wouldn't understand it.
That should be the name of his father,
because I could do it better.
And then just tell you how he could do it better.
Now that you've searched out.
I would be more ripped than John Cena now that you said they'll never do that
You got to say the opposite only reverse psychology works out this guy. I bet he won't make 40 more podcasts next week
I bet he won't
No, no fucking way he even can I'd shocked. I'd be a monkey's uncle.
All right.
Dick, because we talk about Patrick Michael,
he's in our mouth.
Did you know that?
This is more gay stuff.
This is gay.
This is as gay as it gets.
But yet, you people, there's still people, it's yawning.
Who think?
And it's usually these people in that group.
That was a fake yon.
I pay attention to what they do, or I give a fuck in any way,
what they say, or do, or post, or make.
And the truth is, man, I'm just glad that I'm in your mouth,
because God damn it, it stays what.
You know what I'm talking about? High five.
High five to whom?
Do you know what I'm talking about? No!
What do you mean by that?
Our mouths are wet because we're talking about Patrick Michael.
It's not a vagina.
You know what? I would suck his dick
if you did a podcast with Maddings.
Yeah.
Whoa!
What an ho-o!
Whoa!
Not until he comes.
But I would suck his dick a little bit.
Glory Hall, I don't wanna look him in the eyes,
but I would 100% suck his dick.
Not until he comes.
I'd be the liquor-jocking.
Make it happen. I want the dick goes, look, I'm not gay.
Not until I'm not going to have finished.
I'm not gay, but I know what he's talking about.
But that's more of a commentary on me.
I don't know if I could make him come.
Okay, all right, I gotcha.
You're not your bump deck, Greg.
Your bump deck think is off.
Yeah, just a humble.
I think it's really funny that we went from offering him what, $2,000, $4,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $ your project think is off. Yeah, just a humble. I don't know how many of us are sick though.
I think it's really funny that we went
from offering him what, $2,000, $4,000
to do a show with Maddox.
The second is day.
We went from that to sucking his dick.
We're gonna go there immediately.
That happened quick.
It's gonna happen eventually, happen right now.
I was thinking like maybe $2,544,
like maybe we could do that first
before we get into like,
I would rather second dick than loose.
Five man. I think you're overvaluing your head game.
Yeah, I was like, I would second-dick for a million bucks, like, man.
Wow, look at the lot I could do with a million bucks.
Alright, this is the last clip that I'm going to play from Patrick Michael today.
And it's greatest hits.
And again, like fish to water.
Right there's the dingplash.
And I'm just gonna over it, so by...
Like fish to water, your thirst has been quenched.
Fish are so fucking thirsty.
They're so thirsty.
That's why they go in the water.
They're chugging water all day long every day.
20-ever seven.
They used to just walk around in the land
and then they said, guys, we're so thirsty all the time.
I love him so much.
He's amazing.
How could you raise a kid like that?
I don't know.
Like I could do it over and over again.
Like Groundhog's in.
I don't think I could raise a kid like that.
I would have another 40 years to try to crank this fucking mess out.
I'm fucking up every time.
That's true.
That's true.
You would not be able to accomplish what we just heard.
Dick, did you know Maddox's podcast network,
oh yeah.
Madcast media, it's over.
No more podcasts.
Uh. Wow. Super arrogant brother. Can we have a minute of booing? badcast media it's over no more podcasts
Super arrogant can we have a minute of booing
Hey guys pretend Vinnie Paul Lino's out here telling jokes
Did you explain that those were Patrick Michaels jokes? I didn't.
That's Vinnie's real material. Yeah, he's working on some new stuff right now. So this guy Mugi
sent Dick and me a couple of clips from the super arrogant brothers. It's the last ever episode on Madcast media and
It's the last ever episode on Madcast media. And, uh, oh, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I'm gonna tell you a moment of not silence for this.
Yeah, let's talk about it.
And being able to join Madcast media was just an absolute
dream come true for me.
It was amazing.
It's like starting a band.
And then after enough work, your favorite band starts to notice
you and tries to help you out.
That's what this feels like.
These guys have 133 followers on Twitter.
This is not a great feat getting on madcast media.
Yeah, with that, I'm sugar ray.
It's like your favorite band notices you and it's scary glitter.
It's scary glitter. band notices you and it's scary glitter. It's scary glitter.
It's attractive.
It's not a good thing.
All right.
Well, this is a longer clip from that same episode.
This is why all Maddox has not had an episode with Maddox.
Maddox Lost.
Maddox Lost.
Maddox Lost. Fadix lost.
Fadix lost.
Fadix lost.
Yeah.
Fadix lost.
But he continues to lose.
That's the best part.
No one's even playing anymore.
He's still losing somehow.
How did he pull that off?
And eventually he's going to quit Twitch.
No, he'll be getting another loss.
No more banana ducks.
We're spucked at zero in months.
It hasn't been since the last year, I don't think.
And it's not that the show was abandoned.
It's just he's busy.
He's got a lot of shit going on.
Oh, man, it says a lot of shit going on. Manic says a lot of shit going on.
He's just very busy.
Very busy. A lot of projects.
Is that true?
The dude.
It's like he's giving someone an AIDS diagnosis.
It's a tone.
Yeah, I mean, some people get through it.
You might.
Like the dude works.
The dude works hard and he's been doing some new stuff.
Like the...
Do you want to tell me he works works hard as we have to go uphill?
Yeah.
Streams on Twitch that he does, where I join on Mondays and Wednesday nights and I have a lot
of fun with them.
It's a lot of fun.
Here in chat.
He has a lot of fun watching.
Is Monday and Wednesdays at Banana Time?
Is that Maddy Locks time?
Do you know?
Not another schedule.
I don't know.
I'm not a schedule.
It's good to do.
He definitely deserves the time and attention
from people that he can.
Yes, he deserves the attention he's getting from people.
You're right about that.
That is very true.
If anyone deserves this amount of attention
and this style of attention, it would be George.
It's like people will hold on him about making a new article and asking him who he knows
it, because it was a new article.
Within reality, it's like the dude jumps from doing one type of thing to another.
He wasn't going to write articles forever.
Eventually he broke into doing YouTube and I've watched him develop his YouTube style.
So this guy's doing all this.
Oh, fucking groundbreaking!
Tramp reinventing genres as he transcends them
from fucking articles to YouTube, back to articles,
to podcasting.
Did Maddox say you could do one more episode,
but you have to lick my balls for the entire 20
Very very beginning to you know where where it became years later and then
Nowadays is he's doing more twitch trees. What's it's like he's constantly finding new things to do and and try it out
So he's after his own growth and I really
Appreciate being able to see
that from him. It's like a support group. He could just focus on. It's like alcoholics
anonymous without the parking, but without the fun part. Yeah. Finding other shit to
try out. Hi, my name is this guy and I'm a total fucking loser. I never had.
You've been to these videos before I could tell.
Yeah.
So, uh.
That's too bad.
Yeah, madcast media.
We hardly knew you.
That's really sad.
All right, guys.
It's time to segue into a whole different show.
Let's get crows back up here.
Andy. Oh! Take a break different show. Let's get crows back up here, Andy.
Take a break, buddy.
This Vinnie's a creep.
And cars are real.
I'm not kidding around.
They're both a dinner cycle, basketball, business,
and some life society.
And they're going to take you on a stop parade.
Is Vinny still around?
Is he in a pizza coma?
Has anyone seen Vinny Paulina?
All right, I can stall time.
Hello.
Vinny Paulina.
Oh no, stop.
Oh la Primpo!
Stop, Ray!
They're here today!
They're here today!
They're here!
Whoo!
Vinnie!
What's happening, buddy?
You talk a lot of shit, Carl.
I do.
It's kind of my job now.
Glad to be here today. This is amazing. This is crowd's fantastic.
Alright.
Man.
Good to do better. There's a group back there I like.
Yeah, there's some good guys. That guy's cool.
Well, I'm gonna say I like everybody so far.
I didn't really appreciate the guy who wanted me to sign his mind-comph book.
That was weird.
Do I put out that energy?
Do I put out that energy?
You really wanted to tell your...
Sorry, go ahead.
I wasn't asking you, Crouch.
Is that an Alex Jones did nothing wrong?
This is a fucking crazy place.
You fucking know all about this shit.
Where do you give the people what they want?
Alright, Vinnie, I apologize.
We're running a little bit behind.
And we got to talk to the review girls.
Let me get you to imagine.
We didn't do a lot of review girls segment.
I got 68 voicemails to play.
We got to keep this thing moving.
All right. I can't handle fucking any more of you this weekend.
Holy shit.
So we're gonna do a scum parade.
Yeah, let's go to the scum parade.
Let's get creepy.
So we are currently in Lombard, Illinois.
That's correct.
Everyone's so excited about it.
Now, would you like to know what else is going on in this town about 15 minutes away from here?
I found this great article, someone sent it to me in a place called Lyons Illinois. Investigators are preparing to dig in a backyard to search for the bodies that could be buried there. Now here's what happened. There's two brothers who live in this shithole, right?
It's a fucking dump.
They described it as fucking hoarders to the extreme.
No running water, no running water, no working toilets.
In fact, there was no running water for so long
that someone called the city, correct.
Like that's how big of a shit all this place was these guys
Had the doors packed so full of garbage that they were using
Ladders to climb in and out of the side windows of the house. Oh shit. That's how shitty this house was right so check this out guys
They go and they do this welfare check. They realize the place is really shitty
They find out there's another brother who's upstairs,
who's too fat to get out of a room.
So I have a white bitty level, but close.
Yeah, I'm getting there.
I'm getting there, I'm getting there.
So the cops started investigating this,
and they say, so who's like in charge of you?
You're like, well, used to be mom,
and they go, what happened to mom?
And they said, well, she died of COVID in 2019.
You guys doing that math?
What the fuck are you going to be like, I have a problem for.
We didn't get COVID until 20 fucking 20.
So they get it.
They have to dig the backyard up because apparently the sister and the mother both died
and are now buried
there. Isn't that fun? So I'm not a fan of nosy neighbors but when you're burying family
members in the backyard can you get a little bit nosy? Hey what do you do it over there?
Why are you putting that corpse in the ground? What's going on? You bury your pets in the
backyard don't you? No. It's like we it. It's like, well, certainly do not.
You know what Carl said to me yesterday?
His cats at home sick.
Lies.
His cat is at home sick.
And poor Jenny was all upset about it.
And he goes, you know, cats, so they get older,
you know, they just get really expensive and less fun.
I did say that.
That is.
It's got a big heart.
It's got a big heart, Carl.
It is the...
Mine comps make a lot more sense.
We were out of our way to breakfast.
It was a really great start to crying.
So these guys are all free to go.
Yes.
They're currently going through the soil
to figure out like, who else is it here?
They got Casey on the case.
Yes, Casey's digging real through the yard right now.
She wishes.
Yeah, the dream comes true.
Now what, who's eating already tonight?
Okay, good, good, good, good.
So this is a really fun story.
Anybody here ever sell a house?
Buy a plot, sell a house? Okay, buy a plot.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I like being a thing for more.
W-H-E-P is more of a squatting dog, I think. Okay, so we're going to Phoenix and a
deputy US marshal was trying to buy a new house. Okay, and he's touring the
new place and he's touring the new place.
And he's walking through the house,
the realtor is showing his wife and other part of the house.
And Carl, you've seen the video of this?
Yes, he's seen this video.
He goes into a little girl's bedroom.
And there's a close-for-caption television camera
in the bedroom that this gentleman is not aware of.
The nanny cam.
The nanny cam.
And he's a US Marshal, mind you.
And this guy, Carl, in my line, if I say he'd be lined,
he knew what he wanted in that room.
And it wasn't a check the dimensions.
That is correct.
He wasn't measuring to figure out which furniture
would fit in the room.
There was a laundry hamper there.
Oh no.
And this Marshal of the United States government.
Tommy Lee Jones and the fugitive. Is that what I'm picturing right now?
Yes. Tommy Lee Jones walks over to the hamper.
Hamper, damper, laundry room, out out out out out out out out out out out out.
I picture like he was kind of half-hanging out of it like his feet are dangling a little.
He's sticking around to find the right pair of child's underwear. So there's
no more repulsive words strung together than a preschoolers dirty panties. That was in
the article. He found a preschoolers dirty panties. They don't wipe. They're gross.
They're disgusting. Can we all agree on that, kids are disgusting. You know, hopefully she wears thongs, so it's not too bad, but...
Yeah.
You're turning out mean, how would that happen? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Can you take a test, Sniff? No, it wasn't a test.
It's buried in immediately, like, not a...
It's like so many just said...
Did he keep him?
No, but...
Wait for it, it's amazing.
He...
I love what I'm on board with the story of the sick thing.
Yeah, right.
So he leaves the room for just like a minute.
Okay.
He goes back... Just make sure the realtor is like a minute. Okay. He goes back.
Just make sure the real church, like on the other side of the house,
or something. Yeah. Yeah.
Then he comes running back into the room.
Again, right to the panties.
Oh, fuck.
Second sniff.
Oh, fuck.
But he looks up and sees the nanny cam.
No!
Looks busted.
This motherfucker looks out bad at it.
And his exact words that you can see him do is go
Jesus Christ
All right there only we had some kind of video to see yeah
I asked Carl about 50 times this week. Can I just provide videos? He's like no they have no way to provide
How would we possibly get video in a venue like this?
It would never happen.
Oops, never been done.
All right, I fucked up.
What are you gonna do?
Yeah, maybe he's a good martial, though.
Oh, how so, Dick, I'd love to hear this.
I don't know.
Maybe he's like fucking trying to smell other people.
Yes.
I hope there's no perverts smelling these birds.
I mean, there's smells like men at all. He's like a
cold-bid sniffing dog. Yeah, right. He's stopping
terrorists. I really don't think that he was trying to
solve the case of the preschool murders. Well, like he was
just looking for DNA evidence to solve the crime. I'll
tell you why I know that he's a creep. He immediately
threw out his computer. And then when he throws
out a computer, it's a creep. That's a dead giveaway right there. Hit it.
Alright.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you everybody.
Dead giveaway, if you have heart drives, if you have five to ten heart drives at your
house, you like CP. Yeah. That's a dead giveaway. If you know someone who has a soon player
It is filled with CP call the police now I load panties
So would you like to know what he had to say for himself? Yes, but would you like to know what this man of law had to say?
He said this is by far the stupidest thing I've ever done
in my life and they check out I don't know that well but he meant getting caught
yeah yeah seeing a camera was a done thing that was the problem with that I'm sure
he's done much worse all right we're gonna go overseas shall we go to Japan guys? Tokyo! We're going to Tokyo.
Great place, beautiful place.
A 59 year old man is in custody for allegedly leaving the corpses of his parents inside
a refrigerator in their residence.
See that's how it doesn't smell as bad.
Put it in the fridge.
Too bad podcast hitman didn't hear this episode. Right.
Should have waited. Should have waited.
Send him a couple bucks to his commissary and let him know he fucked up. Yeah. Now
This guy murdered his parents and he was missing
Sid's June. Nobody knew what was going on. They didn't know where he went and
Carl they eventually go in
and check the apartment and they open up the refrigerator and they're like, supplies.
I bet you're like, oh, Paul, you know, good job. And they fight this guy because they
followed a lot of trails. they did some detective work,
and they arrested him, and they said, why did you do this?
And he goes, well, my parents were very old, and they had a lot of health problems.
And they're like, okay, was this a mercy kill?
And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no.
They were totally getting in the way of my anime viewing time.
Yeah.
Understandable.
When a adult admits to watching too much anime, it's Hentai.
It's definitely tentacle porn that this guy is watching.
Yes, and started out there.
I'm and dad.
Really, we're just a pain in the ass
when it was tentacle time.
Right, yeah.
I think I lost some people on that.
All right, let's move on.
Well, it's fun.
That's the, right?
No, you guys ate, right? I asked you this again. Well, it's fun. That's the, right? Now, you guys ate, right?
I asked you this again.
OK, here we go.
We are going to go over to Singapore.
Now, a family had a maid.
Anybody here have a maid?
Didn't fucking think so.
Anybody here, oh, maid.
Is anyone a maid?
Look at the hands fly up.
Look at the heads fly up. Look at the hands fly up.
So they have a maid and she's in charge of cooking
and creating for the family.
And she, everything seems to be fine.
She lives in the house, all is good.
Then one day the father gets a text message
from her boyfriend.
Would you like to know what the boyfriend had to say?
He let the father know that the maid had been mixing in her period
blood in urine into the family's food.
All right, when I read this, my first thought was, yeah, but is she hot?
Yeah.
Like how hot is she?
I mean, Master Blood, yeah, I mean, can you dial down the urine?
Right. Don't do that much urine, but the period blood. I mean, Master Blood, yeah, can you dial down the urine?
Right, don't need that much urine, but the period blood.
You know, depending on the distance.
That's more on you, because you're doing all this fucking shit with your digs and cup,
or whatever it is.
It's true.
So, they have to investigate this.
They take your side and they go, did you do this, did you go, I'm really, really sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
By the way, we've talked about this a lot
of the creep off.
You don't listen to the creep off,
you'll learn things like this.
Never admit your guilty.
It's a really bad idea.
Makes it very tough for your attorney to save you
when you admit your guilty.
Now, the attorney though,
I give the attorney a lot of credit here.
Yeah.
Because the attorney's argument in court is very simple.
She apologized for the inconvenience.
It was just like, hey, I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
I didn't, what did mean I'm sorry for, you know,
perioding in your dinner?
Very creative.
Sorry, my ex boyfriend has such a big mouth.
Yeah, I would like to apologize on his behalf.
I don't know how we got your number.
So, the family has said that they have not seen this woman
said she was arrested, and in Japan, she's just gone.
Nobody knows where she is.
Somewhere in the system.
But there is a woman out there who, when she gets out,
is going to need a job.
Yeah.
Thank you.
What's the canned situation?
Yeah.
But that's the one she looks for.
We need to know that.
I'm pretty sure.
What do you want for, you ate a bunch of period.
Like what's the appropriate punishment in your, in your eyes?
Right.
Death.
Death.
Okay, apparently.
Death.
Listen, you could sign up for that.
But if you didn't sign up for that, the answer's down.
I'm really sorry.
Not that leg.
All right, guys, this has all been a stall tactic,
because they wanted us to fill a few hours.
Now we're going to start the show.
That's right. Oh
Gakia
Everybody by the way shots of Gakia on me after the show
So Stuntary John it a couple shows this week. Oh, fuck.
Can I just say something before you just come on.
Yeah, please, Stuntary John.
I'm very disappointed.
There's no Chicago mission.
Where's the mission?
Oh, right.
Nice J. Army. Let us down.
I mean, I didn't negotiate terms behind the scenes
to make sure they wouldn't come and ruin our show I did it now decent or time
This really upset because these people wanted to see you get served I
Now I know and I did want to see some guy really fortunately. I'm unscathed. Nothing bad. It's gonna oh shit
Oh shit. Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
You've been served, Mr. Amberter.
Holy shit.
Kevin Orlando.
Oh fuck.
Kevin Orlando.
He's coming.
He's coming.
He's coming.
He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. Well, I'm in trouble now guys because you have been officially served because you're a fucking cheater every week on the great ball guys
The date of my summons is September 11th
2021 this is the worst thing to ever happen on September 11th. I agree in the history of this country
All right, can we talk about the entire of California now? I like that your address is 123 pizza pie drive. Yeah, you wish
You wish mother fuck man. Kid dream. You couldn't buy a new envelope is bad Like that your address is 123P to pi drive. Yeah, you wish.
You wish, motherfucker.
Man, kid dream.
You couldn't buy a new envelope.
Is that?
I think you've kept it Orlando.
I think it was just a gag.
Everything's like, wait, I know that's official.
I can't even fit a gag.
Oh, so you were following it.
Good.
I tried to get a guy in a banana suit to do it.
But yeah.
Goddamn it, Tab couldn't make it here tonight.
Very disappointing.
All right, Sunring John was just in Florida doing stand up,
comedy, and he's flying back to LA.
And he didn't have a great flight back to LA,
because, as you know, John flies
coach and there's a real problem with flying coach these days.
I think it's bias against those that don't fly first class because they don't serve alcohol
to the people in coach.
Now what kind of horse shit is that?
I mean, it doesn't make any sense because the people in coach
are the ones that'll pay for it.
That is a bias against the non-rich.
It's because he's born a regan, am I right?
I don't mean.
I was surprised he's born a race card.
Yeah.
He can't even refer to himself as poor. He's got a non-rich. I'm just a
non-attractive non-rich, non-fit. All right. Could you imagine this flight is what,
five hours, four to two hours? John had to be shaking so fucking hard.
The people behind him thought it was turbulence.
He's chugging the hand sanitizer out of the thing.
He's ringing out those paper towels that they give you.
And listen, I get it.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, it's Saturday, John's a loser.
And he admits it openly on a show.
We've talked about this with Andy Cumia. If John was doing this as a bit, it would be, it is funny.
Yeah, it is funny. Like, oh my gosh, it's obviously biased against the non-rich, but he's not joking. That's a good bit. We're gonna do his cavity as a boy.
So, now he has on the great, like a pooping, and Richard O'Hida, because he has the same Bucke-Bucke!
And Richard O'Hida, because he has the same guys on every episode.
And they're getting into a passionate political discussion about Afghanistan.
And these guys are fired up.
This is what is political entertainment.
You want people to have an opinion and a point of view.
And they want to talk about it and get it out there.
John decides I should interrupt this with some petty bullshit.
Anybody who actually extracts us from that process is going against the military industrial
complex in a way that no one has done since Kennedy.
I mean, look, I was in Afghanistan when we killed freaking Osama bin Laden.
And the moment that I was told, the first thing I said is,
when we even, you have to see it.
When we got, right.
When it isn't to know.
Yeah, I have to.
By the way, what you're hearing right now
is John just started playing a video.
He's not even paying attention to them.
He just starts playing a video.
I thought you would book that out.
I'll book that out.
This is Stuntary Jod.
Oh, like I fuck off dead.
I mean, I have to.
I mean, what would it have? It's let me know. It was so crazy. That, like I fuck off dead What it happens let me know it was so crazy
Why is Siri tell
Right
I have to you know I stand corrected here now. Oh, let me I
Have to correct myself. Thanks to Tim O boogie over here
Hold on I'm locking up. Okay, there it goes
He'll be here. Hold on. I'm locking up. Okay, there it goes.
Stimey beard was not in spinal tap.
She was in the buddy Holly story.
So I stand corrected. I don't want to give any. I appreciate that. There's an important distinction. Yeah.
And those fucking idiots. We waited till a text message later.
Yeah, Hellsparcs because it was shit for that
I'm sorry
I said that wrong thing. I was Hellsparcs in Richard O'Hena and Hellsparcs is like get John that's fine
We could have corrected that at any time you didn't need to interrupt us to tell us that random nonsense
It doesn't matter and these fucking idiots are gonna be on a show twice next week as well. Of course the fuck is wrong
Well, they get a lot of exposure. Oh, yeah
Yeah because what of course the fuck is wrong? Well, they get a lot of exposure. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Obviously, that's the reason for it.
I wouldn't vote for either of them.
Oh, yeah.
Hellsparcs is running for mayor of Los Angeles.
You're going to vote for Hellsparcs?
I'll vote for anyone.
Good answer.
Good answer.
All right.
So John is talking about his time in Florida and apparently he didn't enjoy it.
And now keep in mind, John considers himself a comic.
And what comics do is they travel for work.
It's not a vacation.
You're working.
You're earning a living.
I'm very excited to be back.
I enjoyed my time in Florida, but like I was telling,
you know, my buddy Hal Sparks, you know,
when you're doing this, you know, it almost like a pain in the ass to travel.
You got a travel, you got a book on a towel, you got a book on a car,
you got to get the rent to car, then you got to go to the hotel,
and you got to deal with the freaking cop that's screaming at the Capitol on the end where there was freaking
more of you. It is my idea at the best time in the world. Then why do you
retain your account if you don't enjoy traveling booking a hotel going to
gigs that you're not a comic because there's someone somewhere in a new city
that will buy him a beer.
This is true.
And tell him that he's an icon.
Thank you, sir, for the shot that I will not be drinking
any time soon.
I'm running a show.
So you might have heard of that clip.
He's talking, oh, right, I'll fucking do the shot.
All right. No'll fucking do the shot
You guys get me every time you guys you get Carl Sherdoff with the right chance I think yeah
But you wouldn't want to I love you guys could see it from here. It's tiny little shoes almost fell off
That was your first fucking club foot joke it took you this log mini. Yeah, I'm hammered. Yeah, you're off your game, my friend. Oh, I suck.
We did a creep off Dick show crossover today
from our Airbnb.
The dick off.
It was the dick off.
We'll be releasing that on our Patreon's.
Way funnier than this.
It was. It was a good time.
That was the peak of the day, and I knew it would be.
All right, I'm just going to go back to bed. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So,
to do Carl's thing, you might have, he might have heard that he was talking about, he couldn't get
any sleep when he was at his hotel because there were carpenters right next to him working on the
building and they were very loud and they're yelling things out. So John explains that he slept in until three fours.
So he's staying with the buddy now.
He slept in until three 40 in the afternoon.
And yesterday I slept until three fours.
I was supposed to do a show on this podcast.
I just, because I was staying at a hotel called The Red Carpet
in one of the hotels.
And they had the Carpenter's closet right next to my room
and at eight in the morning, this Carpenter was busy
screaming the N-word using the N-word.
Whoa, this guy's screaming the N-word.
Where can you get that Carpenter?
Yeah, like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was carpenters. I feel like if I was working on a hotel,
I wouldn't be yelling gamer words.
When you have a uniform that has your name on it,
watch the racial slurs.
I love that firsthand.
There's a reason why he was doing that.
And he's talking about being a Republican and all that.
Oh, yeah.
You know, I just couldn't take it.
He's like, listen, I'm a Republican.
I'll wear a mask because you know what?
A human's mouth has more germs than a dog's ass.
That's a bad one.
What do I got here?
In John's world, he thinks people are going to believe.
What the fuck?
The guy is yelling the N word, and at the same time going,
and out of the Republican.
And this is how we talk.
As he's alone in a fucking room closet.
Yelling the N word to himself.
And one guy is doing construction in a hotel.
Yelling the N word.
One person.
And also, which party he's affiliated with.
In John's World, this is what happens.
Yeah. You guys really got to give that guy a break. Also, which party he's affiliated with? In John's world, this is what happens.
You guys really got to give that guy a break.
He's traveling, he's working, he's trying to get some sleep.
Yeah, so hard it is for a man who's used
to the chirping of cockroaches.
He's now who's got to listen to some guy
with his right-wing bullshit.
It's making a lot of points right now.
Normally, I think Vin but he's an asshole,
but today, he's got to figure it out.
So, John's talking about the fact that he will say
that he's sorry when he's wrong.
Because John's the bigger man, you know,
he's the always the hero of his story.
And then he says this.
Too hard of things for people to say,
I'm sorry, and thank you. People hate this
say thank you and they hate to apologize. Those are the two things I hear people say non-stop.
Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry and thank you. I thank people for handing me a drink that I give
them way more money they deserve for because it's their job and I say thank you.
Literally does not deserve a thank you and we say it all day every day.
Yeah.
I mean we're in the Midwest.
All you motherfuckers do is thank each other.
Yeah.
Son, your mom and I are getting a divorce.
It's probably harder than that.
Yeah.
I give you a lot harder things to say.
You know I'm giving you herpes.
I'm sorry about.
You know he just eats us because of the stutter, right?
Yeah, right.
It's very hard to say, thanks.
You stink.
That's a hard one.
And an enemy.
And an enemy is way harder for him to say.
It's hard for me to say.
It's a tough one.
I can't get out of my head the way he was saying it.
All right, so Cardiff Electric is in the chat.
Cardiff Electric, the great Cardiff Electric
I did his show recently.
Everybody's friend.
Yeah, great, great guy.
He's asked you to deck to do his show.
You think you're gonna do it?
Yeah, if he does 108 episodes.
Yeah, that's the rule.
That's the rule, all right, good point.
So Cardiff Electric is in the chat,
and I think that John's catching on
to the fact that this guy's a troll a little bit,
because he doesn't even finish reading his question.
Cardiff elective, thanks for the $7 bucks.
Does John and Hal, will you be on my podcast,
the Cardiff Oendrick podcast,
Hashtag, Stutter and John on my,
also is okay to have them.
I don't care, do whatever you want, Cardiff, I don't know if they can.
He asked, can I have Hockey Park on my show?
And he goes, hey, it is okay if I have a,
I'm not going to read that guy's name.
I think it doubles fully.
He who shall not be mentioned.
Yeah, I'd like to book Nick.
Mr. Gerr, please come on my show.
Alright, so John's doing a video.
This is not the podcast, but I just somebody put this up on the dev
or is it not a sub-rent?
I had a poll, because it's so funny.
He's doing an ad for this website offthestrip.com.
There's a dirty toilet in the background.
Trust me, I sorry, I don't have the video to show this to you.
I fucked up. Oh, God.
But this is John reading an ad for Off the Strip.
This is Stuttering John from The Howard Stern Show and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
And I'm going to answer a couple of questions from the vagasideoffdistrip.com. My favorite
activity off the strip, gambling. My favorite activity on the strip, gambling. My favorite activity off the strip gambling my favorite activity on the strip gambling my favorite Vegas restaurant
Reyes at Caesars. I love the lemon and pollo my favorite Vegas business
Any one of the bars his favorite business is business. No, he goes my favorite business in Vegas is any one of the bars
business is business no he goes by favorite business in Vegas is any one of the bars
I don't know that that's really what they're going for an off-the-strip by cabling They want people to discover things on their website like what's a great place?
What's the thing people don't know about off-the-strip?
Game can get drunk and gamble. Yeah, I don't know if you guys know you can gamble on
And this motherfucker's begging for dollar bills and super chat? Yes. And he's going to go spend money gambling? I got a great
fucking ad read for you. Oh yeah. Got my number 24. Alright. Fan fucking
tasset. Head to the website of Usual Mobile Device to sign up today and
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first deposit.
No, here's what's great about that.
What's great about that crowd?
CLNS is a podcast network out of New England
and they do all Patriots podcasts.
It's all like football shit, correct.
That's their fucking promo code.
It has not to do with something.
He's literally reading the ad copy
from a different show, including their promo code
that has the name of their show in it.
It's almost as if he's pretending to be good at stuff and we can all tell that he's not.
Yeah, well because he got busted reading the March Magnus copy at the end of July.
And now as a gold football season starting, by the way, WCBS is the promo code.
Do you want to let him know that Stuttering John's, Ania?
How the fuck is he getting away with the, it's Stuttery John from the Howard Stern show?
No, you might remember me from such things as the only thing I've done.
You might remember me from the serious XM lawsuit that you all laughed at.
I'll get into that in a second.
Fuck it, I'm gonna do it now because you set that up.
So he has the great, like a fuck, his attorney on his show. And now, sonnering John, Judge Crottie,
was the one who dismissed this case with prejudice.
And so, he went on his show and said,
this guy doesn't understand the law anymore.
He's too old to understand the law.
He was going after this judge,
which I imagine is a bad idea when you have a lawsuit
that you're talking about.
That's how you get him to be reasonable and change their minds.
So, Judd starts walking this shit back.
I don't have any of you, Judge Croddy.
I was just a little upset that he moved in favor of serious acts, you know.
But I know, you know, you know, and that's why we're going to appeal this to us.
Yeah, I thought I said, if we win the appeal to the second circuit,
which we're in the middle of the briefing process right now,
we actually are going to be filing our brief in about a week.
And then the other side, Sirius XM has another, I think,
less than a month to file a pair of position brief.
And then we have the last word we get to file one last brief and then the second circuit is
going to make a decision probably in
2022 some time maybe a bit before
but if we win which we
were fully expecting to do we go right back to judge crotty
so if they win the appeal
judge crotty is the one who's going to determine whether they win the appeal, Judge Cruddy is the one who's going to determine whether they win the suit or not.
And John has multiple episodes talking about Judge Cruddy's moron and doesn't understand how wall works.
Whoops.
Who was more incoherent in that?
Yeah, I know.
This guy has his own podcast, Michael Popack.
I would never have said to it. He's so boring
Yeah, he's like Dr. Steve on heroin
So he's like Dr. Steve. He's like Dr. Steve. He's like Dr. Steve Haynut with Casey. It's like
Somebody's up by a arm
I will be sleeping so then later on in that discussion, it's made known that
John's attorney told him to stop talking shit about this judge.
Yeah, we, there's no hard feelings about what the judge did. But initially I was man,
and of course, you know, you know, you know, I'm a broadcaster, so I got to make it. But
you know, I was like, damn, are they letting these guys get away with this?
And then I made an observation.
John, you have so many other things to talk about.
Don't talk about that.
That's why you and my lawyer, and I'm just the idiot.
I'm the idiot in the room.
Yeah, I'm the idiot.
I'm the God.
Point for dick.
Yeah.
His attorney literally told him to stop talking
about Judge Crottie they're trying to win a lawsuit right now could you please
stop sabotaging our lawsuit that'd be great he would have turned it into a
Robert DeNiro and Cassino he's just like a TV every night on a public
act just screaming all right so getting back to that
off the strip.com video. He's told to tell a funny Vegas story. This story is
a doozy everybody. My funny Vegas story, my funny Vegas story was when I went
and I was performing at South Point Casino and I got head
lice. I get from my son and the owner quarantine me into my room and I had to
stay in my room and then he wouldn't let me talk about it on the stage because
I didn't want the customers to get scared. And at the state of South Point, believe me,
they have a lot worse things to be scared about than drinking likes.
You've seen some of the girls there.
You know what I'm saying?
They have lives?
They're kicking me.
This isn't a ad.
It's a hilarious Vegas story.
How dare you?
That is a hilarious Vegas story.
I agree.
That is a hilarious Vegas story. I agree, that is a funny Vegas story.
And I want to go stand out point now.
He called me the guy that told John that he can't talk about his lights.
This is the ad for Vegas.
Come to Vegas, I had lights there.
And the funny part is what he didn't tell in that story
is that Jackie Martling was in that story is that Jackie
Martling was on that bill with them and Jackie got to go out to a stake dinner with the owner and
John was like can you bring home a stake for me and they didn't
Which is which is the most Southern John thing that could possibly happen and I'm sure it wasn't accident
I put money on Jackie just took it.
Yeah, I'm sure they did buy it.
Jackie sold it.
He stuck in the glove box at his home.
He ended the birch table.
You can get my joke-lamp CDs at this stake.
All right, what I love about you people
is you love to troll John in ways that are nuanced and fun.
And you keep reinventing ways to troll him
Listen to the name that he gives thanks to for a super chat. Yeah, Alma Holzer. Love you Major
And one thanks for the $2
Alma Holzer
It's giving him $2 at a super chat
Thank you, whoever
It's amazing. That's too much. Alma holds it.
Well done everybody.
And then this is funny because there's trolls give him money to say ridiculous shit so that
we can make fun of them, which is this is why capitalism works.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is this is proof.
This doesn't happen in China.
I can promise you that.
So he doesn't mind that people are giving him money to troll him because he's laughing all the way to the bank.
They spent $245 to troll me.
That is playing just stupidity.
And well, you're laughing all the way to the bank.
You should probably, it's exactly like a article
for the whole week for my bankers.
It's my bankers' trolls.
Oh.
And Richard gives them attention.
I don't, because I'm just laughing all the way to the bank.
$245.
Are you laughing all the way to the bank with $245 in your pocket?
Why is his lawyer encouraging like how much is his lawyer making out of that $249?
All of it. He owes it all of it. Yeah. He's encouraging the trolls to keep giving him super
chance because he's way behind at his bills. You heard that the walsers going to stretch
into 2022 he said in that earlier clip
like this is gonna go on for a
while. Attorneys love this.
Oh yeah. They're ringing John
like a wet fucking sponge man.
I happen to know attorneys in my
family and they're fucking
douchebags. They let me tell you
they pretend to tell you anybody
related to car. I'm sorry. Go
ahead. They pretend to take two
hours to write an email. If you get an email from an attorney, they are ripping you off.
I guarantee you that.
Props to Michael Pobak for taking advantage of John.
Crows, you have some more clips on here.
Yeah, I got two for you, Carl.
And this is really, you know, every once in a while,
I like to bring in something that's some advice for you.
You know what I mean?
Okay, we're good, but we could be back. We could be back. You know what I mean? We're good, but we can be bad.
We can be bad.
I mean, and we can always.
Sorry, we're pretty good.
Well, he was talking about us.
We can be better.
Crosion myself, you're great.
Yeah, you got it.
No room for improvement.
Right, yes.
Perfected everywhere.
Number 21 is how to be a professional.
Your heart would disagree, but I think you're perfect at every way.
Because I'm not going to drink before that early, before a stand-up show.
It is not something that I would do, because as you know, I'm a professional comedian.
And that pause between the professional and comedian, that was a good joke.
Yeah, I tell you everything you need to know. Yeah, good delivery too because I'm a professional
Comedium, like you do with the punchline. Yeah, wait for it.
comedian and then I
Fuckin quit this business. I know poor mini fucking works at cavity
Not tonight, but a lot of other times.
There's no evidence of it today,
but I promise you I've seen him, it's good.
But Sunnijan is also a professional broadcaster,
as you guys know, and I promise I did not
fuck with this clip in any way.
This is literally what his show sounds like, 22.
Let's see, if somebody else wrote something. Let's see. And then you start reading
a tweet that he found. We're just listening to an old man. Scroll through the feed endlessly.
Ah.
Ah.
And I wonder, who is the more foolish?
The fools are the fools who follow.
Yeah.
If you are giving money to Suddering John,
on ironically, you're a retard.
I'm just going to declare that right there.
You're one or four times.
Two hundred and forty five dollars.
Yeah.
Well, those guys were funny. All right. So this is going back. And again, I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one.
I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to wear that one. I'm going to It's hard. I found that like if you get it up to 1.5, 1.6 speed, his guess all sound like chipmunks,
but he sounds normal.
Right.
Like his fucking, his pitch is so back now, you, it's, it's, it's, he's listening.
He's 40% of a human.
Yeah.
At this point.
I mean, he's struggling with each and every word and you can hear it in all these clips
like the dude is really struggling.
So let's go back in time to the year 2004, the last year, the Stuttering John was on the
Howard Stern show.
And Stuttering John is going to leave the Howard Stern show and become the announcer on
the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
And that's not the tonight show.
That's a price is right.
But I haven't said anything in a while. I didn't do more.
Bop, bop, bop, bop.
Yeah.
He was one of the models who showed off the new car.
If you guys remember that time, it's the catchy car.
It is the catchy's eye.
We'll see it later.
So Nick DePolo is on the show.
Back when Howard Cern was funny and had comedians
and already language bring his friends in
and they would have jokes and comedy.
So, Nick DePolo's on the show,
Suttering John recommended Nick DePolo
take his job on the Howard Stern show.
Now, I don't know if you guys know what John did on the Howard Stern show,
but it was screen phone calls.
Yeah.
So, this is them goofing out John for thinking Nick Topalo
would want this job.
It's 30 John's and triplets.
Like he decided a good replacement for him would be Nick
Topalo.
Like Nick wants that job.
Yeah.
I think he's my, he's my, oh my, the success.
I said to him, I think, well, you know, like a janitor
over there.
Yeah.
Yeah. I don't say, like John says to me, I go, well, you know like a janitor over there. Yeah, yeah. What do you say to the phone?
I told him, saying, like John said to me before I left, you know, it would be really
good to try out for my job to make the problem.
And so I said, I said, I said to myself, what an eagle on this guy.
Like, makes a pretty accomplished stand-up comedian probably one of the best I've seen.
Yeah, I'm making almost 11 under a week.
Yeah.
That's five more than John was making here.
Yeah, he could take over.
And then when you answer the phone, make sure that, make sure that, make sure that,
that's what he knows about.
Fred still is the best Suddenley John impression.
I know that Musk and Touch, Fred Doris with the Suddenley John impression.
So that's how delusional John
has always been.
He thinks Nick DiPolo wants to
answer phone calls and ask
gotcha questions to celebrities.
Nick DiPolo is a talented
stand-up.
He doesn't need that gig.
He'd be pretty aggressive to
the celebrities if it was Nick DiPolo.
That's probably true.
Speaking of which, you know
the Celestial John is going to Washingtonolo. That's probably true. Speaking of which, you know the Southern John
is going to Washington DC.
Can't wait.
Yeah, he's been raising money for it.
He's very excited about it.
He's gonna go and ask Republicans,
Mr. Simp goes to Washington.
All right, you redeemed yourself,
man, a good job.
Made up for the price is the right song with that one.
All right, mini-chitty, the people's job.
Let's not get carried away over there, the front row.
So the Midas touch brothers are his buddies.
He has them on the show all the time.
They have a shit ton of money these guys.
When I was in Vegas a couple of months ago,
there were giant billboards saying,
congratulations, we got Comma and Joe Biden. and it was sponsored by the Midas Touch Brothers.
What the fuck?
They're wasting money on this.
Like, congratulating.
It was a pet on your back billboard.
Look at what we did.
What is this for?
Anyway, they have a lot of money, it's my point.
So John is looking for someone to sponsor him to go and ask Republicans questions in Washington,
DC. The Midas Touch brothers said no to him.
But the minus touch guys are great. The only thing I'm telling you about, the
only thing they've... and look, I love those guys, so I'll put... but just... you know,
I've been talking about going to DC and doing all these interviews and they
started sending out this other guy and I'm like... and I asked them, I'm like, why
you sending this guy, you know me? And, I'm like, why are you sending this guy?
You know me.
And then Brett was like, well, because you'll get recognized.
I'm like, I don't know if anybody's going to recognize me.
I gained like 100 pounds.
I used to do it.
Your hair got shorter.
Well, you don't stutter anymore.
Well, what's really funny about that
is he was trying to exaggerate for the laugh.
I've gained 100 pounds.
And his attorney goes, goes yeah and your hair shorter
too
he goes yeah those a lot of things are different about you
your hair's thin, your fat but he said like didn't he once say that seven out
of ten people just random passers by in California would know him by name
he's iconic yeah he said that you know that he's an icon
if it's really trying to get John
and he's like, oh, nobody recognized you said more on wrong. Yeah. Yeah. All right, I got one more clip.
You got to get more clips on John, right? Now you're good. Yeah. You're feeling good. Okay, last clip on
settering John. He has a guest on the beer in the balcony show that he does and this is the show
he does for his Patreon supporters. All four of them. so at any given time there's six people watching this so he wants to do a good
job for them obviously this is him getting up and walking away to get a beer
in the middle of having a conversation with his guest it gets quiet listen
closely he was trying to self-medicate himself that he was probably by
Pauler and he was meditating himself with hard drugs.
Hold on, I'm just going to get a beer.
I'm going to get a beer.
I'm going to get a beer.
The guy's just sitting there staring at an empty seat.
Like, okay.
Yeah.
Hold on, I'm going to get a beer.
Yeah.
Live on the aerial left.
He's just sitting there staring into the void, live on the air.
All right.
Holy shit.
All right.
Guys, I want to prove to the man doesn't hear anything anyone says to him.
He's not paying any attention at all.
I want to thank everybody for coming out to the show tonight.
Everyone here is awesome.
Yeah, you guys are fucking amazing.
I heard a lot of stories of how far people traveled to coming here.
And honestly, I really appreciate it.
I never thought something like this would happen.
And I hope we can do it.
Again, we're going to be hanging out after the show.
We'll probably stay here.
Is there anything else around here?
Like in a weird place right now, okay?
So, cemetery, set the mall.
We can all go low key hanging out.
There's literally a cemetery in the mall, in the park you're out of the mall that we were in last night.
We're the FUTs around, as you can even do it if you wanted to.
We're fun goes to die. Love bar to Illinois, we're fun goes to die.
So we'll definitely be hanging out afterwards,
everybody hang out and get some drinks and some food.
What I don't have today is...
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name? Are you telling me that Brenda came all the way from California The team. The team. The team. The team. The team.
Are you telling me that Brenda came all the way from California?
For you to not play a fucking teaser?
Well, I can't say this, Crouch.
What the fuck?
I can't say this.
Next week, you're going to be on the show.
Okay.
Andy's going to be on the show.
We're going to recap our trip.
We're going to talk about podcasts, probably.
Make fun of them a little bit.
Vinny might stop by, I'll stop.
No, okay, nevermind.
I guess we're not friends anymore.
So, yeah, tune in next week to W-A-T-P.
A, um, Dick Masterson, thank you very much for coming.
Thank you, congratulations.
Dick Masterson, everybody. Is anyone here a crowsman?
What's up for the go? Where do you go? Andy!
Yeah, the goats.
Vinnie Paulina everybody from the Creepa.
Producer Chris falling down.
Jen from the Jingles department.
Feel the love.
The thing I can't give you.
These people, Cad. That's right. You can't give you. These people, Cadd, that's right.
You can all give her an orgasm.
Good luck.
Please, Jordan is again next week.
It might be the episode we found out in the world.
Who are these podcasts?
We found every pony.
Shorty in the face of the morning radio.
You can't show He's moving Which you
There been no laughs
Great show, good job everybody
Great job my way
Shit!
Bullshit!
You fucking know all about this shit
Thanks a lot Carl
Thanks a lot Carl
I want to drop a mob for me
Don't say shit for a 10 I don't get it.
Makes no sense. You have to count, you have to let's proud, you can do okay, ho! Good luck, good luck!
You got it!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job!
Good job! Good job! Good job! Good job! Good job! What's happening, Vic?
Hello.
She's good. She's good. Kasey, what's happening, Kasey?
Hello.
The energy All right.
The energy was right.
The energy just felt right, right there.
We have any new reviews that you want to read for us?
Of course I do.
All right, let's all pay very close attention
and make sure that they know they shouldn't fuck up
reading these reviews, all right?
They're really intensely.
Yes.
All right, take it away, Vic.
Okay, this first one is posted on August 20th, right?
OK.
Is this a bunch of letters?
All right.
Do they four words?
Do letters for words?
Absolutely not.
The title is?
Can you read it anyway?
Yes, it's H-H-G-T-D-Y-G-X-U, right?
H-H is Hell Hitler.
I know that.
I don't know what the rest of the evidence.
I thought it was a hamburger.
You got that mine comp.
So how many stars do you think it is, Carl?
Oh, it's got to be five stars.
Our show's amazing.
Fuck you, it's four.
FAAA!
It doesn't help my average as much as five does, guys.
You could do better.
All right, Casey, what do you got?
All right, it is what it is.
Reviewed by an American living in Japan,
this is my third favorite roast hate show
after radio gunk and QF.
I had heard about this podcast,
but did not know the name of it.
I stumbled upon it while searching for either Michael Rappaport, Radio Gunnk or Howard Stern.
They do a proper breakdown while busing balls with a Z of a particular podcast.
That's Japanese.
Sorry, God.
I didn't mean to joke.
That was it.
Oh, that was it, okay.
So that person emailed me.
I have an emailing with that person.
They've always excited with someone in Japan, listening to the show. So I'm guessing it's a 5 star review.
Yes, that's a 5 star review. Very nice. I mean be funnier, but that's cool.
If you're gonna write a review, be funnier than that. I don't know why Kasey even read that and we're gonna have a conversation after the show about that.
Look at, I'm strict but fair, all right.
That's why we have a good job.
Vicki got another review over there?
Absolutely, Carl.
This one is by an unnamed source, very creepy.
It's screaming putts, relax already.
Rock, screen, Thursday.
Isn't it a thing anymore? Call me back.
Very good. I think that's a five, sir.
That's a five. Thank you. All right, that's funnier. Good job.
All right, we're passing the phone. Is there a dick pic on that?
Or what are we looking at?
Yeah, let's start talking to it.
Fuck the review. Let's see the camera roll.
Come on. Yeah, it's like, can we get that up on the video screen?
I'm joking.
Calm down.
All right, put your pants back on, sir.
Yeah, so.
So.
Okay, okay.
We know the mask band-a, but pants band-aids are still on for Illinois.
Yeah.
Not for the ladies.
That turned quick.
All right, what do you got? the ladies. That turned quick.
Alright, what do you got?
Alright.
Carole grocery clerks.
You'll get it right one day, little buddy.
That's the whole thing.
That's fun.
That's a funny one.
That is a five story.
Five story, very good. That's awesome.
We got more? Yes.
Okay. This one's just a couple of back slappers.
It's true.
Just a couple of back slappers goofing on people that oftentimes deserve it.
I look forward to seeing this show on my cue.
So that's about as good as a compliment a podcast can get. This is Vits running song by the way.
On the couch,
Satcha Roe Binger,
Slopping bag,
And touching their balls, King, call and give in.
Guys, remember when the Jingle department used to fucking do shit?
I swear to God, like PJ quit, and now the whole department's
followed apart.
What's going on?
You are bad, a bad, a bad, a bad, a bad, a bad.. Rest in peace PJ. Do we need to know how many stars that is or
where are we at? I'm lost track. That was five. Okay very good. Any more reviews
are we good? One more. One more. Okay. This is the last one. Okay great. Everyone
buckle in. This is a really long one. Okay. Everyone watch and pay a full attention.
Good. All right. This is once a week and this is by a frequent reviewer,
Opie's wife's boyfriend, Not Bam.
I get it.
Once a week, we are graced with the smile talking,
antics of Carl Hamburger and an ever-growing menagerie
of degenerate comedians that he assumes are his friends.
If it isn't those losers, it's his grocery rich friend, Kroger, and he, who may or may
not kill truck stop trannies, producer Chris, or he ropes his disinterested brother-in-law
Kevin into stepping into the basement.
Jen let me buy more white claw, he'll excitedly explain.
Kevin sighs as he
heads into Star Wars Village once again. At least his sister remembers his
birthday. Just putting it out there, but I'm pretty sure that Carl isn't at
least 40% responsible for killing that woman in a son of Sam's scenario. Yeah. That was a fantastic match.
This sounded like a Bucky fan fiction.
That was too much.
That was a big, too much.
I mean, a for effort.
Yeah.
Are you getting painful or righteous?
Oh, yeah.
A for effort.
The girl's got a painful erection.
Sorry, I took away your microphone before your joke.
I apologize for that.
That wasn't good.
By the way, Heather W. was convinced that Matthew
Lewinsky's girlfriend was a trans. She sent me a picture of his or her Adam Apple.
Oh no. Yeah. So was the good was the far Adam's Apple at her Adam's Apple.
It's been a long day. Hey, is's Brant Don from the Drew and Mike Show here.
He's supposed to be here.
Brant Don, are you in the,
I was gonna talk to Brant.
It's just an hour ago.
Yeah, he's like,
I'll settle your John Al goes downhill from here.
Cripple Jesus.
Cripple Jesus.
He's here.
Hey, Crle Jesus. Uh, cripple Jesus. He is you. Uh, cripple Jesus.
What?
John's going to get over to you.
So I just did cripple Jesus' show.
cripple Jesus' show.
Uh, who gives a shit?
With Adam from Houston.
What's up, cripple Jesus?
What's up, buddy?
You were great on my show.
You did a great job.
I thought you were better. I thought you were better
I'm pretty good
I knew I could get you to start complimenting yourself
You taught me out of podcasts buddy. It took me like three podcasts before I finally figured it out
So no fooling Your show right now with Adam is good. I think it is.
I was surprised. I was taking it back.
He's a very good, tired, angler.
I got it.
He is. Yes, he is.
And I am so excited that you came out to the show.
How long did it take you to wield that thing from Detroit?
You know, there was the sky with the NIC RICADA bass bass.
And I was talking about my drive.
And he just pointed to my legs.
As if my legs not working makes my drive worse.
I don't know what you meant, dude.
Yeah, you're right here.
You wanna talk about it?
Ha, ha, ha.
That's a prop way Rick, that you're calling out over there.
I said that I had a wild drive and you were like,
well obviously a new point into my way.
I don't know what that means.
Well, what do you mean by that man?
You think I drove from Detroit and the wheelchair?
Well if this was Flintstone's time you'd be shot out of
lock. That's for sure your car would suck. Is it downhill? Otherwise I can't go
there. Benny I don't know if you're listening but you got to slow down on the pizza
buddy you're gonna need one of my rascals if you don't slow down. Anyway Anyway, cripple Jesus, let's hang out later.
I can't wait to meet you in person.
Hi, I'm broken foot too.
Oh yeah, you broke your foot.
All right, we're gonna do that later.
All right, I don't know how that's possible.
You don't even use your foot.
What's pretending to be gay, not getting you enough attention
to pretend to break your foot?
Yeah.
All right.
Dr. Steve is here.
Dr. Steve, let's talk about what's going on with our sound
system here.
Dr. Steve, what are you doing?
Dr. Steve.
I think you're making a lot of noise with that thing.
Will you like push that in all the way?
Okay, yeah.
All right, thank you.
Dr. Steve.
Hey, I was pissed that you were. Steve Yeah, it's a piss that you were
Denegrating the eating a period blood. It's actually good for you
Dr. Steve, how would you classify a period blood is it a
Fluid it is a fluid very good
It is a fluid very good. It's a secretion.
All right, I have a two-part question for you, sir.
Oh, shit.
Have you spoken with OP since appearing on W-A-D-P-U?
No.
And why do you think OP doesn't talk to you anymore?
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
OK, he greenlit my show, so I have told you initially
I will never shit on OP.
I can't do it.
Sure.
Yeah.
All right, which is why Anthony's a better guest than you.
Because Anthony has no problem. She can't open even though he made his career.
He's like, that's a better. I'm all for it.
That's way worse than just shooting at him.
Like if somebody said, look, uh,
Dict did this for me. So I'll never shit on him. I would say, wow,
that guy really fucking hates me.
You put me in a very difficult position.
That's a brilliant
observation by Fred good job on a personal level. Hope he's a friend. I love him as a person. Yeah
What he's doing on right now, it's not so much. He's talking to his doggy
I doggy doggy
Dr. Steve. Thank you so much for coming. I finally got to meet Dr. Steven Persson last night for the first time, and it did not disappoint at all.
Is Eric Zain here?
Eric Zain, I thought I saw him in the back.
Did he get up and leave before the show?
Did he think the show's over?
Just because we played the closing song
and presented that was over?
Did he think it's over?
Oh no, all the people I thought would be here aren't here. What about band practice guy? Can we can we do a voicemail?
Wait for it
I'm the Ambractant! Oh!
Drop that fight!
I fucking love band friend, this guy.
He sure and sweet.
He totally deserved the job over Casey.
I can't wasn't even close.
He should be up here, not me.
He should be. It's a good thing you're cute.
He can take my dress. He has to wear this dress though.
Speaking of boys, Bambler's Tucker Dixon.
Tucker Dixon's in the house.
Where's Tucker Dixon? There he is.
Tucker Dixon.
So I was goofing on Tucker yesterday because...
Impossible.
He was bragging about how rich he is.
I'm first class. First class flights. Very good looking. First class flight out of Jacksonville
to come here to Chicago. Oh, okay. I'm the richest man in Jacksonville.
Casey the dude farmer.
2000 a year.
That's probably true. And then I see on the discord. He gets to Oh, hair airport.
He says I don't want to split in Uber
I'm like wait a second. I thought you were this just like changed everything for you look at the Uber prices
I have the airport. Hey, I only paid $35 for my Uber from oh hair
All right, let's talk about how much money we paid for Uber's
I'm sorry. I paid 33% more than that.
Very good.
Tucker thank you so much for coming up.
No problem, thank you.
Where should we do our next live show?
Try it.
The Troy.
Gary, did I hear you?
Gary is a good one.
A lot of fans and Gary.
Not Gary, no.
No. Gary Gary's a good one a lot of fans and Gary not Gary no no
There is this little town called Jackson. Oh Jacksonville
There's a review girl nearby
Somebody might know where to get venues around there. Okay, that guy is okay. I think I'm looking at him But but I'll write it. No, no, no, he's name's Mark, he's cool dude.
Cool.
He's better than Tucker, Tucker sucks.
Tucker, thank you so much for coming to the show.
It was awesome to meet you, hang out.
And what hang out with Tucker, Dixon?
Also a freaking colored Dixon.
He's always on your voicemail segment as well.
I mean, can I mention the fact that he can't grow a full beard?
Oh! I mean, you can't, it that he can't grow a full beard?
I mean, you can't, it's kind of a dick thing to do.
I'm sorry, I'm sure you shaved just past the fucking chin there.
Wow, who knew Vic was an asshole? Oh, everyone, that's right. Now I remember.
So, the artist formerly known as Digi was supposed to be here. I haven't seen her is be here
Did you hear what we're not booing what are we guys doing? We're not booing all right?
All right, well, I thought we were gonna see
Well, I'm really striking out on the talk to the audience segment
Let's get banned for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your,
Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, Ben for it, let's get back up your, I'm just going to be able to double-dipping on this venue tonight. But again, I don't know how to explain how happy I'm
that y'all came out to see the show.
I hope it was worth it.
Hope you guys had fun.
You know, it's probably an
average show. It's not one that you'll say the best in a
while. I won't see that so much on the sub-reddit.
But it was all right. I would imagine.
I just even enjoyed it.
So that's good.
Yeah, thank you all so much. and we'll be out there hanging out.
Buy some t-shirts and take some stickers they're free and we'll talk to you.
Let's take a glance around the show. I stick, you hate me. Goodbye.
Okay, folks, guess what? The episodes, oh wow! I got it, goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Now I think we really need to W-H-G-P.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Thank you!