Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep285 - Season of the Bitch
Episode Date: November 14, 2021This week communists take on the free market with some amazing insights like "being lazy is a political act against capitalism." Oh, and they also want you to sign up for their Patreon. Maybe they sho...uld try to attract an audience of employed people. Andy joins us from the safety of his own home to chat about these unemployable losers. We also hit on Howard Stern, Stuttering John, and Patrick Michael. Then Vic joins us and doesn't read any reviews. Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Punched him in the face and paint his mom
And Mr. Bonn in quite disgraceed
Has done website-reaced
Well sadly that's a lie
There's still any bombs world that come
But if we all join hands
And sing this song
Then our car will reach the sky
And maybe Zeus at the the war, will slide back
Or a thing is worth a try
Oh, he's all four of us going down
We gotta rise up from the underground
It's our Eric Farman, a thing or two about
I'm stealing the same way as it cools
So right now we're making that omission
And the bastard doesn't listen
We'll get sick of being locked up and brand is as with something else
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The Only Show Where The Throwaway Line Is The Only Thing Topical. I'm your host, Carol,
with me this week, a man who jerks off with creams there topical. It's Andy.
Hey, let's talk shit.
Please go to Who Are These.com. We're going to our email address, voice mail number linked to our subreddit,
link to the discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel.
And of course, that link to our patron and super cast featuring two exclusive
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I just did a bonus episode yesterday with producer Chris.
And we did the first 30 minutes of Southern John's book.
Easy for you to say.
Yeah, this is exciting. Oh, John's book. Easy for you to say. Yeah, this is exciting.
Oh, it's fantastic.
It's, it's muscle.
Listen, I also did a quick update on comedy pot pie.
And we talked a little bit about Patrick Michael on that bonus.
So please go to Patreon and check that out.
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you get every single episode we've ever done.
Also, we encourage our listeners, he us a five star review on Apple podcasts
and then shoot all of us in the comments section today.
We'll be reviewing a show called season of the bitch.
This is a suggestion from echoes eight Andy and I both listen separately.
We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it.
This is show hosted by jewels, Helen Zoe, country, LaRue,
dummy, McTard, Vocal Fry McGee,
and Kyle Stalin.
It's a bunch of very left leaning women
with a lot of vocal fry,
complaining about capitalism.
Andy,
what do you think about this show?
Oh my God.
I mean, I was really glad that you brought this to me
because I've been having trouble sleeping.
It's a fucking... Warrior right to sleep is terrible. It's not the best show I've ever heard
you have a clip that maybe sums it up for you. I mean, my mind is we'll just start with clip
one, the intro. Welcome to season of the bitch, the leftist podcast that knows the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.
Exciting music right there. Get you really? Yeah. Yeah. I also have an intro here that I want to play for you.
Welcome to season of the bitch, the leftist feminist podcast that's going on strike.
It sells like an SNL skit to me.
Like, they're playing the people who would be out of show like this.
And I always start with some, you know, feminist colloquialism that I'm not familiar with.
It's just because I came from my dad's balls.
It doesn't mean I'm having a ball.
It's like, it's just like a who fucking knows
what you're even talking about.
That's too clever for a feminist to say.
I'm feeling, the opposite I listen to is all about
the strike topper.
Okay.
And the idea that all of these people are going
on strike from their company.
Just from our regular jobs, not for making this podcast,
obviously.
Of course. This is our announcement.
We're on stuff into the next program.
It's on Patreon.
So they're on strike from their regular jobs.
Now Andy, I'm going to say this as a privileged white male who used to own a company because
it was handed to me because I'm a white male and They're like, hey, do you want a company?
I'm like, yeah, of course I do.
Give me that.
And I have to say, just listening to these women talk,
I bet they suck at their jobs.
I bet they're all terrible at their jobs.
Yeah, I'm sure their boss is begging for them
to go on strike.
Yeah, oh, oh no.
Who's gonna not do anything if you're on strike?
Yeah, go now.
What are we gonna do? Who's gonna call it sick if you're on strike? Yeah. Oh no, what are we gonna do?
Yeah.
Who's gonna call it sick because they can't even today?
Oh, there's a lot of, you could tell.
There's a lot of mental health days gonna call it in
from these women.
All right, let's talk about the labor activism that's going on.
Uh, today we have tools.
Helen, Laura, and Zoe.
And today we're talking about labor activism,
more specifically the massive wave of strikes
and other worker actions that we've seen over the past
several weeks.
These women are the opposite of fun.
You owe definitely no fun is being had on this.
And you want to go over to talk about labor activism with me?
I'm busy.
I have to go to get dinner with my sister.
I don't know.
It's up thing.
Can we pretend something else is going on?
I'm training a sister.
I can't make it.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's talk about strike telepore real quick.
Let's get into it.
People have been referring to last month as strike
tober due to the number of strikes.
And then since this energy has been carrying over into November,
I've started to hear the term strikes giving, which I think is hilarious. And I think
I'm going to celebrate strikes giving instead of Thanksgiving from now on.
All right. Striketober is not clever. And then strikes giving is even less clever. It doesn't
work at all. It's not even close to what you're trying to pull up. But let's zoom in on that vocal fry, shall we?
It's giving instead of Thanksgiving from now on.
Are these women friends?
100%.
What's going on?
I would say let's hear my clip seven. I mean, this woman, her voice is, I mean, I dare you
to stay awake during this.
Which woman are you talking about, Andy?
I think this is Laura.
I'll give you a credit for trying.
I just have no idea who is who on this show.
They all sound the same.
We're starting back up evictions and like student loans
are starting back up as well soon.
Like it's just such a fucking joke.
But it's also funny.
This reminds me to about how a lot
of the election results that we're gonna end up talking about today
are being used as like evidence that Biden is like too far left
and it's alienating people, which is like, okay,
like literally they won policy that he's enacted
that's like a left policy like, oh wait, like I'll literally wait.
Andy, can you even tell me one thing about Donald Trump that you thought was pushing
American a positive direction?
I'll wait for you to turn on Fox News.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it.
Let's do it.
All of your white wing talking points.
I'll wait.
Sorry.
You have to pay your student loan.
Do they listen back to these shows?
It goes.
Yes.
It's pretty good.
We'll put this out.
What's going on?
No one's producing this. No one's producing this. No, it's producing
this. And I don't understand why they sound like that and think that's okay. You sound
like you're in pain when you talk like that. It's not a good thing. Yeah. Sound bad and
you can't talk. It's your my clip three. This week, as many of you know, is election week. And that comes with some tension, hope, and general fuckery,
particularly by capitalists.
Capitalists.
Wow.
My mouth just really slurred all those letters together.
Yeah, they sure hate capitalists.
I get the sense of not a fan of capitalism.
If I had a guess, in fact, they are very much against it.
This is another, and in my opinion, more effective way to engage in political work.
Thinking about your labor and practicing withholding your labor from those who exploit
you as one of the most political acts you can do under capitalism.
Not working. It's such a great thing you could do under capitalism. Not working, it's such a great thing
you could do under capitalism, that's right,
because in socialism they force you to work
and you go to labor camps, that's right.
You can't stop working under capitalism,
it's called free will and everyone has it.
It's amazing, it's a weird thing.
You can choose whether you or not you wanna go to work.
Yeah, fuck it.
Gonna be broke, it's fine.
I mean, they do have 286 patrons.
They're making $1,000, $5 a month on Patreon.
They're six hosts.
So divide that by six.
They're all making it a cool 2K a year salary.
Sounds pretty sweet.
Eh, good little off of that.
Do it for the college, Carol.
So they don't care about capital, I saw.
Here's my, I know, these, these communists are always making a lot of money on Patreon.
So funny.
Here's my thing about communists.
Should they try to be like more likeable?
I think that would go a long way if they were fond and likeable and interesting.
It said they're just assholes.
They're always assholes.
I don't want to be on your team. You're not fond. I want to be on the team. It's so jokes and have a good time.
Yeah, they've all the charisma of self-lungered and rocky for rights. We're rooting, we're actively
rooting against you. I do not know that. All right. It's very exciting to celebrate labor radicalism.
I love it.
And I think it's so much more wholesome
to celebrate later crop labor radicalism
than like a bunch of settler colonialists anyway.
It's so like win-win.
Right.
Exactly.
These women would be a lot of fun to date.
You know, you're like,
okay, you want to go to my folks for Thanksgiving?
I don't celebrate Thanksgiving.
I celebrate labor, radicalism.
All right.
Can you not bring that up on Thanksgiving, please?
With my folks, it's not going to go over well.
My dad watches a lot of Fox News.
It's not going to be a fun time if that's what you're talking about.
Stop talking about how they treated the Indians.
We're trying to watch Washington.
We're trying to watch the redskits play the packers.
Can you shut up about that?
Oh boy.
All right.
They can't even spew their own bullshit.
As you mentioned, they don't know how to talk.
In some ways, it can serve for negotiations that end up keeping workers in their place
like many labor laws and policies.
And policies historically.
I'm trying to use big words and I don't know how to because I'm in moron.
And why not just talk like a person?
That could be a fun thing to do on a podcast.
Just talk to us like in English might be fun.
I mean, when they're not failing to successfully communicate their own thoughts, they're just
reading Wikipedia.
I'm, I'm going to coin a phrase now.
The all these podcasts that just read Wikipedia is Wikipedia.
Oh, Wikipedia.
Oh, Wikipedia.
I like it.
Clip number two is them talking about that.
This is that sort of tag that they had at the beginning of their show.
They sort of start explaining it to like a quote from Audrey Lord and it couldn't be more
boring. And here is the quote which is for sure a statement.
Those of us who stand outside the circle of the society's definition of accessible women,
those of us who've been forged in the crucibles of difference,
those of us who are poor, who are lesbian,
who are black, who are older, know that survival
is not an academic skill.
It is learning how to take our differences
and make them strengths.
For the master's tools, we'll never dismantle
the master's house.
I couldn't listen to that.
I don't know.
See if you just start checking out, don't you? I did. I did. I don't know. See, and then you just start checking out, don't you?
I did.
I did.
I don't know what they're just talking about.
I zone out immediately.
I'm like, what do people say in Discord?
I'll read that instead.
Jesus Christ.
Clip 4 is kind of talked about where, you know, they're all like college students and learning
all this shit for the first time.
And they think that they're going to change the world because they just learned all this
shit.
I wanted to read like the full quote from Audrey Lorde that that was the intro about the
master's tools.
Also, I have to share an anecdote that happened yesterday about this quote that I was in
class.
And the professors like she's okay politics, which is for sure kind of a lib, you know, she's okay politics,
which is for sure kind of a lib, you know,
she's not gonna like, anyway.
She's okay politics, but if you're not smashing
a cis male's head into concrete,
and you're just not big enough activists
for these women,
Oh, they're angry if you have a job.
If you have a job, then you're obviously pro capitalism,
which makes you a racist, and you have a job, if you have a job, then you're obviously pro capitalism, which makes you a racist,
and you probably voted for Trump.
If you like people, if you like the free market,
you're a racist, you hate to Mexicans.
These people are insane.
So the one woman is a professor at Columbia University.
She got her PhD there, and she has a lot of problems
with that place.
Yeah, so the John Deere strike is the biggest strike
that's currently happening,
terms of numbers of striking employees in the country.
And the second biggest strike is currently
happening at Columbia University,
which was, as I have mentioned very recently,
both my employer and the school that I attended as a graduate student.
This strike is very exciting because of course, EA Labor militarism, but also because of that place. I hate it there.
Wow, shocking. She hates her employer.
She went to school there, which is all these people want to do is go to school and spout their bullshit.
They don't want to live in the real world and she even hates that place. Like, what do you like?
What's accepted for the school?
Granola liberal schools. You can go to school. Right. And she hates it there.
Shocking. The graduate students are on strike because get this Andy they aren't getting paid enough. The graduate students aren't
getting paid enough. The students aren't getting paid enough. And that's why they're on strike.
There's no, they took away their dental plan. Can you believe that?
I don't even know you can get a dental plan if you're a student. You're getting paid in
the education you're learning. How do they, how do they not have a dental plan as a student?
What, what is their sex?
You know, I'm, I'm really evil.
Um, just no dental option whatsoever.
Um, and you know, if you've ever heard me talk about Columbia,
you probably also know that the university and especially my department was
like just an absolute hotbed of sexual harassment, assault, and violence.
Um, like literal violence,
I actually advise nonmen not to come to my to my department if they're applying because
it's just that bad. Okay. So she led with no dental plan and then it turned into oh, also,
there's sexual violence against the women here. It makes me think that maybe you're not serious
about that. If your biggest gripe was the dental plan, and then secondly, oh, also there's all this
violence or sexual assault and violence. I know she's a scowler. Has she read the boy
who cried wolf? Has she read that book? Does she know about that? Because when you spout
this nonsense, it gets people thinking like, I don't trust anything you have to say.
You sound like a moron.
My incisor got knocked out by a boner.
I need a dental plan.
Yeah.
All right, so that's my boss's boner.
So then she can point about the president
of Columbia University.
And then finally, just in case you were wondering,
the president of Columbia makes in three days,
what I made there in a year.
And Columbia's endowment is $14.4 billion.
All right.
Uh, higher education is a racket.
So I'm with the odd that the endowment, everything like that.
But the fact of the president makes a lot more money than you makes a lot of sense to me.
I think that he, that person here, she should make way more money than you, makes a lot of sense to me. I think that he, that person here, she should make way more money
than you do.
This is a phenomenon that's happening with Gen Z, Carl,
people that are just coming into the workplace at year one,
think that they should be making the same as people
that have been in the business for 20 years.
Oh yeah, just because the university has money,
they have a shit ton of money.
They're wiping their ass with money. I know. Doesn't mean they should give it to you. You're
probably the least deserving of this money. You're a career student. This woman is her PhD in 19th
century US history. Let me play that clip. I, as I sort of mentioned at the beginning of this episode, we'll talk about more,
just finished a PhD program. And in theory, like the PhD in, you know, an academic discipline
is supposed to prepare you to teach at the college level. And the job market's been bad for years,
but it got really bad during COVID,
the workplace has stopped hiring. All right, so this poor woman thought she could get a degree
in 19th century US history. I can imagine what that class is like, was so bad. Everyone had slides.
I'm okay, okay. Also, there's another woman on here who talks about how she's unemployed.
And I don't know why I just found this very funny.
A lot of people when I was under employed would be like, well, maybe it won't be in your
field. You have to play at any job. And I was like, no, I have a play to every single open job.
Like it's not, I'm not being picky.
No one is hiring.
Like that's just how it is.
Oh, what a loser.
Yeah.
So just so you know, I know a lot of people, and we're in a recession right now.
I don't know anyone who's unemployed, because anyone who's good at their job can get employment.
If you suck at what you do, you'll be under unemployed.
It's actually very telling that you go on there
and go, I've been under employed and unemployed
for all these years.
Yeah, it's because you suck.
It's literally because.
I'm being hired.
Yeah, it's literally because you suck.
That's the only way I can sum that up for you
because I don't know like I said
I don't know anyone who's unemployed at this point. Well, I listen to the episode about elections Carl
Okay, and you would not be surprised to learn that they think that the election process is flawed
Okay, and they're taking all of their cues about minorities and the election
process from the sitcom Blackish. We're going to hear about why the Democratic party just can't be
activated. You know, place a lot of blame on like poor people working class people people of color for like not voting or not voting in their best interest.
And like we know.
Yeah, that is always can get splinter like somehow ruining elections or whatever the fact.
And there's actually a really good scene about this after the 2016 election on the show Blackish, where essentially they were talking
about like no matter who won the election, it was not going to change the material conditions
for the most marginalized people. All right, they lost me at there's a really good seed about this
on the show Blackish. Yeah. But once again, as we're always saying, just be gay and do labor crimes. Okay.
Labor crimes.
Be gay and do labor crimes is their call to action.
I mean, yeah.
Why not?
Let's just all do labor crime.
What is that?
Stealing pens from your office?
Yes, correct.
Yeah.
That is a labor crime.
We're using the Wi-Fi on a
Saturday. I go into the office and just use their Wi-Fi, use their bandwift.
Yeah. That's a labor crime. I honestly don't know what labor
crime is. Sleeping at a job. Something like that. All right. These women are
also extremely mature. They're like children. Helen was that an apple?
My first thought, and this is how you know I have
first teenage brain was like, but it was an apple pong.
I was like, okay, I'm not just about to fall.
I used to make apple bongs all the time.
I mean, what is an apple if not an apple pong,
we'd like to be made, you know?
It tastes so good. I used to literally do it all the time.
Whatever. Okay. Anyway, I love that.
Actually, the task is to pay.
This is apple bond representation.
Hard for me to take someone seriously.
When they're talking about we need to change the entire political system in this country and
Here's the right way forward.
Oh my God, you're holding an apple.
Do you smoke weed out of that?
Yeah.
No.
Why does a funny joke have to be turned into something
about representation also?
And you and I have definitely smoked weed out of apples
before.
When you see an apple, is that your first thought?
Oh my God, an apple bog.
No. No, not at all because we both worked at blockbuster together in the Midwest and we're able to afford real bogs that's why we don't
care about apple bogs obviously yeah that's a really good point thank you I appreciate that so
there's a straight going out of Kellogg's and they're
very excited about this. They love any type of labor strike. They think it's great. And
there's only one problem here. It also includes the vegan meat brand Morning Star Farms.
I don't know if that's relevant to anyone else, but that's the main one that I was like,
okay, camp by Morning Star Farms or how. And then, like, vegetarian life.
So the vegetarian is upset that she can't buy fake meat.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, Andy,
but if you're a vegan or a vegetarian,
why do you want to buy fake meat?
Is it your whole thing that like vegetables
is the way to go and you're like,
oh, but I also want to eat a cheeseburger.
Why?
If you're a vegetarian, you don't like cheeseburgers.
What is with the fake meat industry?
I don't even understand it.
So this, now Andy, you're going to get upset now.
Because the Kellogg's strike means more than just fake meat is not being produced.
And then some snack foods like Pringles,
Rice, Krispies, and Cheezuts.
So because Cheezuts are so, so far superior to their main competitor,
Cheez Nips.
Yeah.
That is such a bummer.
We can't buy Cheezuts right now because the employees are on strike,
and we need to support
them by not buying cheeseits, even though cheeses are far superior to their competitor.
That tears it. I'm a socialist now. You won me over.
Yeah, yeah. They can't raise cheeseits.
Do I really need to buy a cheeseits? Is there something else that I can get instead? That's maybe like
a better, more local or like small company
or something.
I can't believe these people are unemployable.
It's shocking to me.
I'm sure that their job interviews go so well.
It's amazing that they're not getting hired
for all of the best paying gigs out there.
Let's talk more about these strikes. This is the episode I want to do is all about strikes and how great they are and how bad
corporations are.
And he also pointed out that Kellogg's made a record profits during the pandemic, which
was largely due to how much overtime people were working because there were short staffing.
All right.
How does this make sense, Andy? They were making record profits because people were working because there were short staffing. All right. How does this make sense, Andy?
They were making record profits because people were working overtime.
Can you connect those two things in your head?
I know.
No, I used to work at U-Nose, Pete Surya U-Nose.
I was a line cook.
And they wouldn't schedule you for more than 35 hours because as soon as you got
to 40 and a half, they're paying you time and a half.
So anyone to work 40 hours are even close to that,
because they might have to pay you more money.
And this woman's saying, record profits,
because everyone's working overtime.
Okay.
Yeah, people are usually working overtime
because they're short staffed,
and they're paying somebody time and a half instead of two people, right full time.
They'd rather do that.
They'd rather pay less than time and a half or double time.
So then they're talking about the Nabisco strike and the terrible working
conditions for these people who are employed by Nabisco out in Portland.
And it began in response to just like terrible working conditions in the
Biscoe plants with workers being basically forced to be at work for 12 to 16 hour shifts,
six to seven days a week or risk losing their jobs.
All right, so I looked this up because it sounds ridiculous. Six to seven days a week 12 to 16 hour shifts
This would equate to on the low end 72 hours a week on the high in 112 hours per week
Is what these people were being forced to work?
so I went ahead and looked this up and
What I found was
Several employees stated that it was not uncommon for workers to work six to seven days a week
12 to 16 hour shifts and Several employees stated that it was not uncommon for workers to work six to seven days a week
12 to 16 hour shifts and
This was presented by vice media
so vice media obviously is a propaganda tool and
None of that is even close to to true and then when you actually read into it It says the existing pay system included time and a half pay for overtime
and any work on Saturday and double pay for any work on Sunday.
But the new system that Nabisco proposed, this is the reason why they went on strike, would
see a flat rate pay regardless of days until the worker reached 40 hours a week.
So in other words, you might work Sunday through Thursday.
I know people who work Tuesday through Saturday.
Their weekend is Sunday and Monday.
My wife is one of those people,
and they're bitching, they're like,
why don't I get time and have one a Saturday?
Because Saturday's just a Saturday.
What do you mean you're talking about?
It's just a day who cares.
You still have the weekend.
You still have two days off every week.
And so they changed it and said,
we don't get time and have on Saturday's
because it's Saturday or double time
and Sunday's just a Sunday.
You're still working 40 hours a week.
And these idiots are saying they're working to 112 hours a week.
There's no way they're doing that.
They have to pay them time and a half for every minute over 40 hours.
I'm sorry, I'm too passionate about this.
I'm just saying, they're stupid.
I guess is my point.
But their point is that corporations are bad, right?
And corporations don't care about you, they don't care about their employees.
And unless I worked for Gennat, I agree.
And corporations aren't paid to care about people.
That's not their mission in life.
But I think it's funny because communists have a really hard time with asking for money
and why they deserve money, even though corporations don't deserve money. And they say that's at the end.
Yeah, work won't love you back, but who will love you back in a pair of social kind of way
is us. And you can acquire that by going to Facebook.com slash season of the Vitch. You can
join our discord where you do actually get to speak with the real us.
Yeah, corporations don't care about you, but we do.
We actually love you all individually for who you are.
I don't know if that's I don't think that's true.
I think they're wrong about that.
This show is difficult to listen to for me.
I know God.
But did you know, Carl, that any woman that's ever accomplished anything is a girl boss?
No, I didn't know that.
Bird means words mean things.
Listeners know that this is something I care about is that words have meaning, but I digress.
Yeah.
It's very important.
So, so, would you say that the suffigates were the original girl bosses?
Honestly, yes.
Great. that's where the original girl bosses. Honestly, yes. Great, love that.
I was a future master of gender.
You were opinion on this means a lot to me.
Yeah, I mean, pretty much the first girl bosses,
they were like, we can vote.
Yeah, so girl boss is something that,
this woman, Sophia Amaruso,
who started a company called Nascigales Coined,
and that company went out of business in about three years.
So, I wouldn't, yeah.
I wouldn't start saying that, you know, I'm a girl boss
because it's really just code for being a failure.
And to walk around me, like, oh, Susan B. Anthony
is a girl boss, you know, and you're like,
Harriet Tubman was don't slutshamey
I'm pulling a train on the under a real room
It's like not everyone is a fucking girl boss. It's so dumb. Oh, so Andy
Can we both agree? It's just you and me talking right now. We're not on on the internet or anything women voted
It's been a mistake, right? Oh, I think women to both it's not working out. Can we all agree on this?
Yeah, yeah. I mean,
this one, because she was founded by like a bunch of people that didn't want to live under a
monarchy. They came here, started democracy. And then women were just like two steps behind that,
doing it, you know, the same thing, but worse. That's suffrage. This guy gets it. Land-owned. Drunk history. White males.
That's who's supposed to be voting in these elections.
I'm glad you understand.
All right.
Here is some talk about the fact that nobody wants to work, Andy.
We have seen like Swathson players
suggesting that no one wants to work.
And of course, why would we want to work first of all?
I think there is.
Basically, we don't want to work.
Yeah.
And if you do, wow, I mean, good.
I really, I don't know.
I don't know.
Andy, nobody wants to work.
Everyone wants to just be lazy and non-productive and accomplish nothing in life.
Don't you know that? This is actively making me angry right now. I fucking can't stand these women. Oh yeah, no,
you gotta understand that laziness is a political stance. Yeah, definitely. I personally have
gotten very big on calling my own laziness and anti-work politics. Oh, yeah. So feel free to steal that one.
And you're making a political statement by taking a nap in the middle of the day.
Um, not being lazy.
Taking a nap in the middle of the day is a political statement, Andy.
I am.
I'm going to say playing video games all day long is also a political statement.
Sure.
Why not?
Let's, let's all just stay home.
I mean, if we all just stay home and sit here
and wait for the Amazon person to bring our shit,
oh, wait, somebody has to drive your shit to your house
and somebody has to be at Amazon to pack it
and send it to your house.
So you can sit there and wait for your fucking toilet paper
to show up.
Fat piece of shit.
Wait, are you saying that their ideal society
can't actually happen because it doesn't make any sense?
Is that what you're saying?
I'm saying they're completely out of touch with reality.
They are completely out of touch with reality.
This woman's talking about being a college professor
because she's got her PhD.
And before she's even teaching a class,
she's dreading every second of it.
Let's say like you wanna teach 10 classes in a year
as a professor, like think about how many papers
you have to grade, how many syllabi you have to create,
how many books you have to read,
like how many students names you have to memorize.
It's just like insanely exploitative.
And I'm okay to probably not be part of that industry.
She's already dreading having to work.
If I get a job, I have to work.
Well, yeah, it's called doing your job as whole.
And being a college professor is one of the greatest cakes.
I was just hanging out with my friend who's a college professor when you're down in South Carolina recently.
And he has so much free time and he loves it.
We were talking about that specifically.
He's like, I get four months off at this time loves it. We were talking about that specifically.
He's like, yeah, I get four months off at this time.
I get a month off at that time.
I promote my own beer.
We have parties like, yes.
Being a college professor is a fucking sweet ass gig.
This one was going, I have to grade papers
and learn people's names.
Fuck that.
How those students that paid tuition to take this class,
I have to remember their name.
What the fuck are'm gonna do that.
Fucking loser. What a piece of shit.
Yeah, these people, these people are not fond in any way.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Like Clip 10, you're some more of them talking about, you know, politics and not being able to speak.
You know, there's just really nothing like a little imperialism to prove that women can be just as patriotic, patriotic as men.
And so women's work efforts during the war was also then used as another argument to prove that women deserve full citizenship because they were like helping with the war.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
Well, all of them men were fighting the war and they had to activate women to actually
do something.
This fucking trash is going to take itself out, Dorothy.
Yeah.
Fucking something.
You know what else they were doing?
Do I happen to know this?
I'm a historian.
They were playing baseball and crying.
There's no crying in baseball.
All right, that old gag.
So this woman knows someone who worked at a grocery store
during the pandemic and times were tough for people who worked in grocery stores.
My friends who work in grocery stores had some really horrifying experiences
during like the height of the pandemic.
I have one friend who works in a fairly conservative part
of California, and he was a manager at a grocery store
and was regularly having customers shout at him
and threaten him occasionally, actually
get physically shove him and touch him for him
asking them to put on a mask,
which, you know, not only did he want to do for his own safety,
but it's also like literally part of his job.
He would be fired if he let people come in
without wearing a mask.
I'm gonna go ahead and call a bullshit.
And this one, this guy is getting into fights with people
over a mass in the grocery store.
Bullshit.
She also heard that there were people who weren't given gloves to wear.
I also heard a lot about like black and safety equipment.
Rules like everyone has to wear gloves,
but then like the corporate office didn't actually send the store gloves,
so everyone had to get their own or like figure it out for themselves.
People had to buy their own gloves.
Andy, I don't want to live in this world. Please,
break communism and people have to buy their own gloves. What the fuck?
Do you know, man? Everybody was dealing. I mean, yeah, it was the pan. People were not prepared
for the pandemic. This is fucking old news. Yeah, that's a really good point.
All right, Andy, what else? Yeah, clip 11ip 11. This is even more wick of media.
Are we then to believe that two errors will make it right?
Are we to assume that the poison already inherent in politics
will be decreased if women were to enter the political arena?
The most ardent suffragettes would hardly
maintain such a folly.
Mike drop.
Fucking Mike drop.
I don't know.
Are we supposed to believe that?
Ask Pelosi in her resting-cut face,
whether politics are better or if fucking women in it.
Wow, Eddie, I would do that as a joke
if you were leading completely into it.
I love it.
I like women should be a ponieshook.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I've been saying holy shit
How can people send you death threats if they want to reach out to you Andy? Do you have any you know dress or something?
Are we making jokes here?
Okay, fair enough. Just have it's the fun. Nancy Pelosi looks like skeletor at this point
Have you seen her recently? Why the fuck is this woman still in front of a camera?
I'm alone running the fucking country. What's going on? She needs a 40 ounce of baby bloodstead.
Are you gonna be shocked to learn that the host of this show is from Buffalo, Carl? Did you know this?
She really? I did not know that. They're right around the corner from here and clip nine. There's a little hometown name drop. It's also worth mentioning, um, almost, you know,
of equal importance of that, uh, that Susan B. Anthony is from and is buried in Rochester,
New York, um, which is a sister city to Buffalo, which we're gonna get to in a little bit.
It just feels like, you know, the girl boss energy just radiates.
but she feels like, you know, the girl boss entered you just radiates.
And you're all about cities.
Amazing.
Wait, were the sister city the buffalo?
Fuck that noise.
I guess.
I don't want to be a sister.
They're breaking.
They're breaking news.
I'm moving the fuck out of here.
I know shit.
I'm going to ask in Texas.
I just mentioned that Nancy Pelosi looks like Skellator.
That was just a thought I had. There's already a
gif about it. I have no idea. So what is the Alex in the discord? I am Nancy. Skeletor
gif in there. Holy shit. All right. Well, I guess that's a thing that I who knew. Anything
else you have on the season of the bitch podcast, Andy? Oh God. No, I will just say that this episode
was, it was just shy of 50 minutes. I only listened to like 50. All these clips were from
the first 15 minutes. I couldn't fucking take it. It was, it was awful. Everything was pretty
capable from these women. All right. It's time for.
Bridge of the week. Bridge of the week. You'll be shocked to hear the Adam Thoreau said
this one and it is probably the shortest podcasts. This is, they would be, this would be the current opposite. All right, whatever. I thought that was fun.
In the future. Yeah.
Gonna go back in time. All right. So Howard Stern was talking
about Henry Ruggs the third. You know, that is. And you know,
you're not a sports guy. So Henry Ruggs the third was driving
156 miles, but he's a wide receiver for the Las Vegas Raiders.
He's driving 156 miles per hour
while twice the legal limit on alcohol.
And ran into a car with a 23-year-old girl in her dog
and blew it up, like these women,
this woman is done so.
And Howard's talking about that.
The same time he's talking about Aaron Rogers. Now you
know what Aaron Rogers did. Very similar to murdering people while you're drunk and driving
way too fast. He tested positive for COVID. Very similar thing.
But this fucking guy they should throw him out of the league so fast with the guy who crashed
his car at 153 miles an hour and some poor lady
this guy, some poor lady was walking her dog and the dog and the lady burned up in his
car because he hit him.
And the last words out of her were just screams of pain from the fire.
I mean, he's facing 40 years in jail.
It should be a life sentence.
I mean, he just essentially just killed someone with his car, but he should be throwing out of the league, which he was, I assume.
And Aaron Rogers come on, dude. Really?
Howard's fucking lost it.
I don't know why you put those two people the same sentence. Also, yeah, the idea that she burned up in his car, according to Howard Stern, who obviously is out of touch at this point.
He ran into her while she was walking her dog.
They spun over and landed in her car.
Eric Zaid sent me this clip.
He's like, according to Howard, this woman and her dog
did a backflip into his car.
He that got out of his car and then the car blew up and burned burned.
Yeah, what is he talking about? She was in her own car. What do you hit her? Yeah, that's a really good point.
Yeah. I saw Derek Henry and Jay walking. He should be kicked out of the league too.
Well, Derek and his Jay walking. I mean, along with Henry Henry Ruggs III and Aaron Rogers. These people are He's a swollen alcoholic, the kind who drinks coarsely to hydrate.
He will never let you down in bed, unless you're a hot-married lesbian.
He forgets his dick pills at the pickwick
He will never let you forget
Corrie ma'am told you borrowsd
He says all the time and you know that he's lying
No issue with the cockroach
He's not right no, he's not right no
He's not right. No, he's not right. No, he's not getting paid. He needs super jets,
super jets to pay his bills. Yeah. Now, thanks for the two bucks. All right. So I got
an overthrow of phenomenal job with that song. I just find out. It's funny every single time. Speaking of dick pills, did you know that John got his dick pills
robbed from him in Vegas?
Did you hear this story? This is amazing.
Yes. Thank you, many look.
We need to raise more money for this fight guys.
I'm not stopping. I'm not letting up just to prove to you.
I'm not letting up and that your dollars are not going for naught.
I called my buddy, Eric Silver last night,
spoke to my fellow drop in writer, Troy Thomas,
and because I needed Eric's phone number,
because I lost my phone,
oh by the way, I didn't lose my phone,
it turned out it was stolen.
Oh, I'll talk to you all about that.
Well, just, it's very simple.
And I'll say this before I get these,
before I get these,
I'm stuttering, these kill me,
before I get these veterans on.
So you don't stutter when you scream.
Anyway, I parked in Vegas.
I had my gym bag,
which I don't know why I didn't work out, because I was feeling nauseous the whole time. I had my gym bag, which I don't know why I didn't work out because I was
feeling nauseous the whole time. I had my suitcase and I had my computer bag. I decided to leave
my old cell phone that had my stand up stuff in the glove right underneath my dick pills. So,
I forgot about the dick pills. So when I'm, so I get my car, I drive about the dick pills. So, when I'm, so I get in my car,
I drive all the way back from Vegas.
Then I look for the phone, I can't find it.
I thought maybe, you know, I don't know.
I, you know, I grabbed it and brought it inside.
I checked the inside, outside of my bedroom,
down into the living room, checked everywhere, everywhere.
I can't find, I'm like, I don't know what happened to this.
Didn't my friend Jason asked me if he could have a dick pill.
Oh yeah.
And then I go, oh, I got a positive real quick.
So I love that John brings dick pills with him to Vegas.
He doesn't need them.
You know, obviously he didn't hook up with anyone.
And then he drives back home and weeks have gone by now and he hasn't needed them
So he didn't know they were stolen and then the reason why he finds out they're stolen is because his buddy needs a dick fell
It's like he just pretend that you needed a dick fell job. I pretend there was a chick who wanted to fuck you
Now my buddy wanted a dick possible. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I got tons. I'll never use here. You go. Oh, no
dick gone
My dick pills are gone
So have you seek so then
That's it's all going off by the way
I uh
Idiot I
Realize that I was robbed all right, so John got his car broken into apparently and got his dick pills and old
iPhone stolen out of his car and
and got his dick pills and old iPhones to one out of the sky.
And John, turn your phone to silent, you moron. It's a little switch on the side of your phone.
It just stops from making noise while you're podcasting.
I don't know anyone else whose phone's going off the entire time.
They're fucking out of show.
Never heard that before.
It hasn't even been doing the same stand up routine
for 20 years.
Why do you still need his fucking jokes on his phone?
Well, apparently he doesn't. Nobody's stealing that material. He didn't realize his phone was stolen until his buddy asked
him for a dick pill. And he's like, oh, we're having dick pills. And also, where's my phone? My stand-up routine. Damn it.
It's my routine. team. Dick pills and and jokes. Two things he'll never need ever again. John was on
a Wanzo Bodens podcast. This is fucking hilarious Andy. Before the show starts, he doesn't
realize that the show has started. And he's talking about Susanna's new husband. This is fucking Foddy right here. How you doing, Aaron?
Aaron, I hate that name.
That's my ex wife's new husband's name.
You should be happy, then.
It's over your alimony, right?
You should love Anna, right?
The hell is wrong with you.
Should be your favorite name.
Yeah, he's a dick.
That's okay.
No, you're a problem.
No, it's not.
It's not. Oh, we're on. Hello, this is
a Lonzo. I'd like to welcome you. What? John just admitted that he hates Susanne or his new
husband. You know, the one that his kids were all very excited about at their wedding and these
really nice speeches about what a great guy he is and Joe goes out and he's like, oh,
I fucking hate that guy.
He's such an asshole.
Oh, we're on.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Hey, what's going on?
Welcome to a one to boat show.
Wow.
I don't think we wanted that to get out there.
If I would have guessed.
I listen to one.
I mean, I always just listen to the first 10 minutes because the next
hour and a half is just somebody else doing his show for him.
Correct.
But the one that I listened to was him starting out by saying that he is losing all of his
hardware to even properly do his show. It comes on. It sounds like shit. And he has to explain why, clip 14.
Yeah, baby, welcome to the world famous
Stuttering John podcast with your favorite world famous host,
Stuttering John Melendez.
I am not with my microphone today,
because, not because I don't have this stupid thing,
but because I had
that I had the connection in a face you know
talk about yeah when I moved the computer from from my bedroom to this room I
don't know it disappeared what's it literally disappeared
what do you mean and I just spent the last five minutes trying to find I know
what I'm doing check under my bed check my blanket And I've just spent the last five minutes trying to find it. I don't know what happened to it.
Checked under my bed.
Checked in my blanket.
I can't find it.
That's two things now lost.
Hopefully I'll find one of them.
I think it's such a bar.
I lost my wife and my family and the connector
from my microphone and to my computer.
What else can I lose?
Holy shit, this fucking guy is the definition of a loser.
He's losing shit.
He's definitely a loser.
All right, I want to go into this episode
that I was checking out.
I think it's from Tuesday, something like that.
Yeah, baby, welcome to the world famous
Stuttering John podcast with your favorite
world famous host Stuttering John Melendez here to serve you.
He's out of breath to start the show
Which is where it's welcome to the starting top
And I love that he says with your world famous host and it says his name
Hey, welcome to curl hamburger show with your world famous host curl hamburger. That's me
You want famous guy? All right, John. We get it. It's fine And then he has a joke that he's got already prepared. He's got a baby. He's got a baby. He's got a baby. He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby.
He's got a baby. He's got a baby. He's got a baby. He Bird gets a vaccine. Aaron Rodgers doesn't.
Who's the real bird brain?
Good one.
Good one, John.
Fucking idiot.
He just loves to retell his tweets on the show.
That's how I think it's too much to tweet.
We did see that.
What was that thing that I said about the bird?
Bray, oh, that's right.
Aaron Rodgers is a,
Aaron Rodgers is much smarter than Suddory John.
He's one of the best cornerbacks ever played football,
which is a position that's very difficult to play.
Anyway, that's beside the point.
He can't, well,
he can't shut up about Aaron Rogers.
Clip 20, this is him going on and on
about Aaron Rogers.
Oh, good.
Aaron Rogers seek medical advice from Joe Rogan when it comes to COVID.
What's next?
Heart surgery from carotop.
I think you may be good on cost.
What the hell is wrong with? Aaron Rogers going to Joe Rogan? I go I'm gonna
I'm gonna get my next colonoscopy from from Aaron Rogers because you are, and I met you. You're a nice man. But you are stupid.
Go in a joke. Joe Rogan for COVID advice. What's next going to Joe Rogan for hair restoration counseling. I mean, good one.
Are you out of your mind?
What's next going to be the juice?
To be your next dentist?
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
Aaron Rodgers.
Come here.
Come here.
Here you go.
Some good joke.
Carl.
What's next? A play date with Jared Fogel?
Oh, I mean, what's next?
Cocktails with Bill Cosby?
What's next?
Nick Bates going to write your next album for you?
What?
What's next?
A prostate exam from Edward Siser hands. Great joke.
I'm breaking hate with John.
Yeah, there's some good jokes there, Suttery.
John, I'm glad that you worked up to those.
We all know that John's a great joke writer because he was hired by creamareem Abdul Jabbar. Aaron Rogers is getting a lot of heat.
I'm glad he's getting a lot of heat from my good buddy,
Kareem Abdul Jabbar.
In fact, I got it booked.
It's close.
I almost got it.
Kareem on this show.
I was Kareem's head writer for his roast,
and I got to write for Kareem,
and Bill Walton and a bunch
of the Lakers and and we know
other players and it was a real,
real, real fun time. I got the
shoot with Kareem a bunch of
video drop in bits and I had my
friend Eric do the effects.
But all we can't talk about
Holy shit, we just did as I was talking about
the first 30 minutes of John's audiobook
on the Patreon episode, holy shit
All it is is talking about is list of accomplishments
I swear to God, this guy has 17,000 in his head and it's all
that ever comes out all the time. Let me tell you about Aaron Rodgers.
A cream abdual jibbar said he's an idiot. Guess what? I used to write for the cream.
I read as we know. Fucking, hey, all right. So John's doing a new show now, which everyone's
very excited about because he'd be doing this political show three days a week and then he does the beer on the balcony.
Well, we got a big announcement.
And I'm going to talk about this on the beer on the balcony at two o'clock today.
Guess what?
No guests.
This beer in the balcony is just more.
I am going to do a show what I believe once a week. Just all entertainment.
Yep, it's gonna be called What Bugs Me About Hollywood.
All right, so John's gonna do a show called What Bugs Me About Hollywood.
Which I am excited about because this political stuff is so boring.
So I'm very excited about this show.
What's he gonna be talking about on this show?
And then we'll talk about my old friend
who now apparently doesn't like me anymore,
Arty Lang.
And because he just started his show,
halfway house again, I'm glad to see he's back.
I have no hard feelings for Arty,
despite all the crappy shit he said about me.
But we both were guilty of that,
although I didn't start it.
All right.
So there's this feud between Suthering John and Arty Lang.
Arty has no bottom, but Suthering John does.
All right.
Yeah.
And what's funny is that back in 2017, maybe 2016,
something like that, John was on Arte's podcast.
And John went on the beer on the balcony on this solo show
and went in and explained all the shit that went down
on this episode of beer on the balcony
and he talks about how Arte was talking about his kids
and all this shit that Arte was doing
and why Arte is such an asshole.
So our friend Ryan Sharman, God bless you Ryan,
he's been on the show before,
he used to be a moderator for
Stuttering John on his YouTube channel.
Ryan put together a clip.
This is a little bit longer,
it's worth it.
You're gonna hear John talking about
his appearance on Arty's show,
and then what actually happened.
And this proves that John is lying or he doesn't remember what happened in any single
way or he's changing his own head to fit his new reality.
But this is very well done Ryan.
Thanks for putting this together. Hello ladies and gentlemen, who you're here listening to the Audi Lang podcast along with the Stuttering John podcast.
Cut to all these business podcasts and he's just trashin' me, trashin' me.
And then that comes to the infamous one when I had Tammy Pescatelli on here, you know, and we were, I only had a couple
of beers. Like, you know, I know Tammy thinks I was about. I only had a couple of beers with
Derek.
How many beers have you had?
Only 10.
Well, here we go with the exaggeration. I had three beers since I got here. Maybe four. And he starts
trying me to admit that Jay Leno is funnier than Larry the cable guy. This is all because
already saw a picture of Larry the cable guy, some comedy club and he says he was like,
he doesn't deserve to be on the wall. I do something like that.
That was when I saw that's the first time I saw Larry the cable guy. I saw a picture of him and I said that guy what is this guy? And the guy goes that's just been I go that's never gonna worse.
How I stoop you like that. I said that guy. Well that's the point of the story.
I said that yeah I said this guy that that's a ridiculous gimmick. Tell me got to go back to the guy's good now the guy's gonna gym in his house
So I
Haven't the back of my head. I say you know what if art is gonna start with me because he had done it two shows before I go if he's gonna fuck with me
Ain't taking I'm gonna kick him in the balls and hope he comes after me and I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him.
And then he started trashing me.
And then he started talking about my trans kid.
And that was it.
Yeah, my oldest is trans kid.
How did an operation?
Is that really true?
Yeah.
Why don't I get this one?
Let's get this one. Let's add kidding.
No, I'm not kidding.
Let's not get it all about this.
Yeah, no, let's be serious.
Let's go.
So.
And I said, already, how many times
you just stabbed yourself?
Was it eight and nine?
Did it hurt?
Now you might say that's cool.
You know what?
I was done.
And I said, I'm going gonna kick him in the bones.
When you was stabbing yourself, did it hurt?
I don't know, you look what a rick had hit on me.
No, no, I'm just curious.
Ah, oh, yeah.
You kept going like what, you just, you just with that?
I couldn't get her done.
No, so you don't want to talk canally, but I'm just, I'm just, I'm, that's a great question.
I'll think about it.
Nah, alright.
So you just want to avoid the whole thing, but my friends stamp it himself.
You, you get a pussy and buy me a car.
Can you tell everybody I write on the touch?
I said, hey, already had a, how did you know how did bleach taste?
It's like when you tried to kill yourself and fucking failed and fucking drank bleach
What is that about?
Yeah, okay, okay, okay
You know, you know, you know, yeah, that was warranted
Yeah, it was it was because you know, what are you like? I made fun fun of your joke and you made fun of me trying to kill me
I go already
Do you realize the only reason that your alive is because
Your mother brought chicken cucklins over to feed your fat ass if she found you bleeding in bed
No, I always treat you like I can't make I can't make too many jokes about you
Me, well, I know you're clearly you put on the kit gloves
No, I do I do with each suicide
Joe the only reason why he got saved is because mom was bringing food over for
Body went silent
Shut him up. We're going for a round. I insult the liar
the cable guy and you have the bleach joke. I'm sorry to routine the bleach Bruce my friends chillin himself I get a pussy
but here's the thing Russ
I really love arti and I really care
I love arti
I'm very obsessed
Are you paying for this round?
But what is bothering you?
Is this still your father on the roof?
Oh, thank you John for bringing that.
It doesn't mean that's the hardest.
You're trying to change this object because he's getting killed.
No, I don't give a shit about getting killed.
Is that what it is?
It's another no hitter.
Wow.
John's appearance on Arty Lang's podcast is insane.
That's crazy.
What are the asshole?
I think there was Tammy Paschaltel who was the third mic on there.
It was just like, what, why are you doing this?
What are you doing?
Why are you talking about this?
What's going on right now?
We're trying to have fun.
What are you doing?
I said even jokes either of you.
Like, oh, John, why are you upset?
Is it because your kids like your wife's new husband more than you?
Yes, right.
Not a joke.
It's just being nasty. It's just being very mean. Yeah, it's right. Not a joke. It's just being nasty.
It's just being very mean.
Yes, correct.
All right, so you know, Andy,
that John makes his income from YouTube and the superchats.
And you also know that he gets paid on the 11th.
Well, the 11th was just this week.
So let's say hi.
Oh, by the way, this is the last date, a month, well, the last day, the month, but the
you know, I get the YouTube closes on the 11th for the month of
October and the beginning of on you know of November. So if you do want to super chat
announced the time.
Let me say hi to a lot of the people here, just getting texts from guests
that are not able to do the show.
So he's gonna destroy to my spokes,
it's going off in the middle of his show.
And he's like,
and that's another person who's turning me down.
All right, this girl doesn't want to go off her dinner. All right, this girl is gonna go up for dinner. All right fair enough
All right, move it on. We're still doing really well here. No, I don't want to hear your band play. Okay, no
I guess that's not gonna happen. All right, so anyway
Who's here and then he goes to his roll call that lasts from not lying 10 minutes
10 minutes of explaining every single fucking person
Who's watching this show.
So, it's so noxious!
He's constantly getting fucked with and trolled by everybody, which is great. I checked so many times.
Jill, you are not blocked.
Anywhere on YouTube, I would never block you.
You've been a great supporter of this program,
and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
So I don't know, it must be a YouTube glitch.
And it's there for cause I know you would super chat a lot.
So it's costing them money, it's costing me money.
But I would never block you.
I checked everywhere on YouTube,
and you were not anywhere to be seen blocked.
So I don't know what's going on. on YouTube and you were not anywhere to be seen blocked.
So I don't know what's going on.
Unless your name is Thrabi Vaini Dix.
That name is blocked.
I love that I've never heard another show where the guy has to keep telling people,
I'm not the one block, you keep saying you're blocked, I'm not blocking you, I don't
see that you're blocked, I looked at all not blocking you, I don't see that you're blocked. I looked at all the different systems,
I don't see that you're blocked, I don't think you're blocked.
John, you're being fucked with,
you moron, you dumb moron.
And all this, I'm superchance standard.
I know, it's my superchance standard.
You guys are fucking with me.
So after 10 minutes of going through
everything a fucking person's name,
there's 40 people watching him, right?
And he has to explain that, all right,
it might seem like I don't have a big audience
because I'm able to call every single person out by name
who's watching, but that's not the case.
You don't realize, because you see,
I'm on Facebook and Twitch and iTunes and Libson
and Spotify and Pandora, I'm all over the place.
So, you know, so the numbers are everywhere.
I'm not just on one platform.
So it's very hard to, you know,
because you're gonna do it in all different places.
By, Andy, you might think that a few hundred people
are watching Sunday, John, when he's going live,
but you would be very wrong about that.
There's millions of people.
He's just had somebody planned for him. You can't keep up. And that's why you don't understand that.
It's so pathetic. Is there anything else you pulled from Suttering John? We should discuss
before I move on. Sure. He opens the show with that stupid fucking Trump train song every time. And it's so ridiculous.
Why can't you just pair it down to 30 seconds or a minute?
And even the people in his chat are fucking sick of it.
And clip 16, some guy starts calling him out to get rid of it.
Well, we're really sad weeks.
I think you should get off the Trump tram by not using our
tab song anymore.
All right.
Well, you know what?
I don't get copyright strikes from the USA singers.
I played like, I played the trailer from the supporters
and I got a copyright strike from the music in it.
That's not the point.
The point is it's a three minute long song
and you played every fucking time.
It's too long.
But it's free to be so I gotta use it.
Yeah, I know. He goes, no, you don't understand.
They let me play their song.
No, we know that.
We know that.
It's fine.
It's just, it's too much.
It's not a good theme song.
I know how to edit it down to a reasonable length.
No, obviously not.
He has no idea.
Yeah.
Which I will give Andy.
And I'll click.
I want to give you credit real quick.
Back when I wrote the theme song for who are these podcasts. That's a minute long
I believe you were the one who told me it's like can you just pick like a segment from that song and use that
See log your themes like see logs. So you've been consistent out of this point. I give that to you
All right, guys, get destructive criticism. Yes, correct fucking Andy's a troll
He doesn't like my theme song I
Hope his mom get hit by a car
I hope that when
Someone gets hurt who's a twin that the other person gets hurt too and then his brother gets hit by a car and then Eddie feels it
That's too clever. That's too much. All right. And the episode that I listened to, he was also teasing the fact that beer and
the balcony was coming up, but nobody was slated to be on it. He could not find anybody
to be on. It's great. I've been working on a beer on the balcony.
It might have to wait to tomorrow on Monday
because I haven't got a guest yet
for beer on the balcony.
You know, so we'll see.
Because I've reached out to a few people
and haven't heard back yet.
You're an alcoholic. You wouldn't come to't heard back yet. You're an alcoholic.
You wouldn't come to work on over unless you're an alcoholic.
Dude, you got a disease.
Yeah, I know.
Some things are better left unsaid, John.
You know, it's like nobody wants to do it.
Right.
When I have Jennifer, the Jewellers Department has a co-host.
I'm like, hey, look at how excited this is.
Jennifer, the Jewellers Department is here.
Hey, it's Vic co-hosting with me. I'll
look at all great this is, you know, pretend like you did that on purpose. You dummy.
He's all excited about his new teeth also, Carol. It's the 19. We're gonna gentle update.
Oh good. Speaking of beautiful. Look at those temporary laminated from a real dentist.
Not like the last one. It's still managed to stay.
So I up didn't get went to a real dentist, not like the horrible dentistry that I had
before. He falls into that bargain hunter's trap. You tried to cheap out, you spent money on trash,
and then you had to go and spend a real amount of money at
a professional and ended up paying more when you were trying to save money.
You're suckers.
And he was bitching about it too.
$5,000.
Meanwhile, he's got all this debt to work that's going to happen in order to get his teeth
fixed.
Like, yeah, that's what that cost, dummy.
Dentalists are good at what they do.
So John again is talking about his trip to DC. And this is going to happen
Andy. I don't know why you were a hater. Do you think it's not going to happen? He just
needs to figure out what Congress is scheduled is. That's all.
God. So I need to do me a favor. Get me this. Give me the scheduling again. When Congress
is in session for November, December,odian you were in february
because i need to know when i'm gonna book my flight and come out there
so what did that
subreddit the davis and i'm a subreddit had a really funny comment about that
it's as if only people in juries knowing that giants are playing a home game
i'd buy for a new jersey told me that the giants are home this week.
And so I'm going to try to get out to that game like,
this is public information.
Yeah, you don't need to tell.
To tell you when Congress is in session.
There's a schedule.
You can find out for yourself.
I don't know what I'm going to go.
I got to talk to God and don't want to figure it out.
Fucking moron.
So stupid.
I'm so it's going to tell me how to work Google.
And then not only does he need to figure out when they're in session,
but he's going to need to get a crew to record him, obviously.
And this is more involved than you might think, Andy.
I do have to organize my trip to DC.
And I got to figure out, I almost got to get, I don't know, maybe I'll talk to Benny
Loco or Nikki B. I need some kind of, a production help, like going on Craigslist and
finding the crew if Goodstein can't get me, for that week. I have to see, you know, because it's, you know, there's only so much that I could do.
I mean, I'm, you know, you know, but I am doing it.
I actually got a hit out of Hunter up because I need a few more questions.
I'd like to do one more brainstorming session with him.
I know it's getting cold there Mark.
I have to see when the best time is.
I gotta talk to some Washington inside.
He's a watchin' inside of it.
I thought it was really funny there.
He goes, I need Benny Locke woulda helped me figure out
how to use Craigslist.
It wasn't, I need someone to help me put a crew together.
I need someone to help me,
how to put an add on a Craigslist
to put a crew together. I jad, really? You to put an add-on and Craigslist to put a crew together.
I John, really?
You know how to put a post on Craigslist?
Is that possible?
Are you possibly that dumb?
Is he ever figure anything out?
That's so.
No, it's always hell.
It's always hell sparks for someone else
showing him how to do shit.
And he's talking about how amazing hell is at this conversation hell was having
on his show about how the rising gas prices are not Biden's fault.
Just like how said about the gas prices going up and I did the research after I had hell
on and he was spot on accurate.
It has nothing to do with the president.
It has everything to do with supply and demand.
It's called capitalism.
All right, I know we've been talking too much
about politics today, but John thinks
that gas prices are based on capitalism.
I can't think of something further away from capitalism than the price of gasoline.
Opaq equals capitalism. The first thing Biden did, the very first thing he did, was shut down
the keystone pipeline. And here's Hell's Park showing gas prices are based on capitalism. It's
supply in demand. Uh, okay, sure
Maybe maybe the pharmaceutical industry too is just all based on capitalism That's why the prices are what they are you fucking idiots. So then hell comes out. I don't usually pull clips from hell
But apparently hell was debating Scott to pace, you know the Howard TV guy back in the day who's fronted John and
They were debating each other and he'll explain
why Scott to pace is totally out of it when it comes to politics.
And of course, all of the fallbacks are based on massive fallacies. I mean, just the, just
the whole like existence of the Hunter Biden laptop. Like, let's just start from scratch right there.
Show it to me in an era, in an era of Instagram and lunch and there are, there's video of
Rudy talking with Levinego or talking to some like hooker in Ukraine going, eh, see you
soon, baby.
But there's no picture of the laptop.
How many pictures do you have on your phone of lunch
or beers or like friends you don't use?
But there's no video of the laptop.
So Hell's Barx thinks Hunter Biden's laptop is bullshit.
He's wrong.
He goes, there's no video of the laptop.
Yeah, but Hell, there's photos and videos from the laptop.
Isn't that more important than seeing what the laptop looks like?
You have 100 Biden smoking crack jerking off fucking hookers.
Throw underage girls on there.
How do you not see this show?
Are you that stupid that you think like,
but I haven't actually seen what the laptop looks like.
It's a MacBook Pro.
Whatever.
Who cares?
The videos have all come out of the text conversations.
It's all out there. It exists. It's real. You fuck anyway.
Not to get too political on you in there Andy.
What's the point of this?
Anything else if something John?
Oh God, I mean, he just had a joke that he tweeted that he had to retell and I was like that came up with theme songs for everybody from the
Stern Show except Howard it's fucking lame. Oh God, the theme
song. I'm doing this too much today and I apologize, but I have
to once again tease our bonus episode. He wrote a theme song
for the Howard Stern Show and he was a intern at the Howard
Stern Show and he sang it for his audio book and it is cringetastic. Oh my god. As I tweeted out today theme songs
for all the Stern Show members from my experience, Gary Delabate gets eight man. I'm a neat man. I'm a neat man. I'm a neat man by the kinks.
Blobbing quivers gets, um, I'm a bitch. I'm a liar by Meredith Brooks.
That's how that goes.
Well, we got it there. We got Jackie. The joke man gets I mean mine by the Beatles.
I mean mine, I mean mine, I the mine. Cause it's all about Jackie.
Um,
party gets food, glorious food.
From the soundtrack of Oliver, Fred Norris, who did I,
oh, insane, even the membrane by Cypress Hill, insane in the membrane goes to Fred Norris.
Okay.
And Scottie pace, of course, gets dumb by Nevada.
And then, of course, I get beautiful by Christina Aguilera.
How about dare to be stupid by weird how yank of me.
Would that be a better theme song for his son,
or he'd john?
Wow, that was dumb.
Terrible.
Not good.
He had a Gaston on his show recently, and Richard O'Hadeh was on there.
Also, there's three people in the panel.
I think his guest was dunking on him a little bit here.
I did stand up at the Roosevelt Hotel, and I invited the Army Major there.
I was paying for all the beers, but every beer we got each
for a 12 ounce bottle of Bud was, was 10 bucks.
Yeah. Comedy clubs, man. They got to make the bottom line. I dabble and stand up, do
John. Oh, this guy dabble and stand up as well. I love that. Because you know as soon
as John hears that, he goes, what is this person?
Is this person going for that? I'm a troll. Are you trash and be you troll?
I want it. I dabbled and stand up too, John.
That's great. Very well done. Whoever that person is.
But I love that John has to bring up.
I was buying bills and this is how much they cost.
Okay. All right.
I could afford it, but it was too much.
What kind of conversation is that to have with people
on a show?
I just, I don't understand it.
Andy, that's all I have for Southern John.
Anything else you want to hit on that?
No, God, it looks move on.
Let's move on because the reason why I was late today,
I had a pushback us recording this show by
half an hour is because there was an episode that actually Dr. Steve turned me
on to of Patrick Michael show the other cast. don't like my show. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
So Petra made a show called The Other Cast with this guy Cameron and what's interesting
about this show is it's impossible to find.
The actual title is The Other Cast, all one word, there's already a show called that.
So it's impossible to find but thankfully Dr. Steve found it instead of over to me and
he talks about Cardiff Electric quite a bit.
I guess Cardiff Electric has been reaching out
to Patrick Michael and it's not being well received.
But speaking of freaks and fucking douchebags,
I guess I said,
Wow.
I say, way well.
What an intro.
I don't know, go ahead and give your first thoughts.
We got this guy, which I think, let me just say this.
I think the full name, I think he's breaking it down
and I think it's care differently electricity.
And I think it has something to do with some company
where he might change lamps.
He might do some light bulb work.
He may be, he may be screwing outlets in.
You know, the bear, the real bear minimum, he cared differently
electricity, shout out to care differently electricity.
They cared differently about, you know, your lights.
Boom roasted, Cardiff, deal with that one, buddy.
See if you ever come back from that.
So Cardiff is a pair of stalking Patrick Michael.
I'm only saying this, I have no fucking idea because I don't give a shit about any of these people's content.
I only heard this guy's voice because he wants to stop messaging me like an ex girlfriend.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, the fact that he sent you voice messages and, you know, 600 messages.
It's like, yo, dude, step the fuck back.
Like, who the fuck are you?
Yeah.
Cardiff could be over there.
I could tell you that first hand that this guy that sounds like the sweetest chef
learned English is calling me all the time.
It can be a bit much.
I agree with that.
So there's a lot of fun.
You probably haven't heard the show, right Andy?
Is this all new to you?
No, no.
Okay.
There's a lot of fun information that we find out.
First off, Patrick Michael predicts the future.
This is a November 5th show.
This came out on November 5th and he says this.
This is why I'm saying about the whole social media platforms.
It's like, this shit's gotta die soon.
Something is gonna happen where there's gonna be
literally no ability to be negative.
They're gonna shut it all down.
That's correct.
YouTube announced they're getting rid of the dislike button
on YouTube videos.
Well, they're not getting rid of the button,
but they're not gonna show the number of dislikes
on YouTube videos anymore.
Only the creators will see that.
No one else will see how many people dislike the video
on YouTube, but Peter Brothers,
I think they got to stop having this negativity
on social media.
No more negativity.
What?
It's my livelihood we're talking about.
So this is the last episode of WC.
This is why we've been the last episode
of the WC.
This podcast, Goddamn it.
I'm gonna have to do a thing where I just like
make mix tapes and hand them out to concerts
for people to hear this show.
Goddamn, it's gonna be like,
I'm gonna have to grateful dad of podcasts.
That's not gonna be good.
All right, so they're talking about me,
specifically, quite a bit.
They talk about Dick Masterson, quite a bit on the show.
And the co-host camera, I don't know, camera is,
but I guess he's like some fat dude.
He doesn't like that we do crossover episodes.
I feel worse for the fans because you've
got the same 100 people who are shelling out 5, 10, 15 bucks a month, you know, to 6 or
7 different creators and they're getting the exact same content just recycled between
each creator. And you guys are paying hundreds of bucks a month for it. It's, you guys are
actively fucking yourself while creating the content that you're
paying hundreds of dollars a month for.
All right, this is both libel and slander hundreds of dollars a month, thousands of dollars
a month between the Dix show at WTP. We make over 30,000 dollars a month on Patronis.
You had to there Andy. I could buy it. I never with his number which made us seem like
it's a lot of 30,000. Now I mean it's true between the two shows
30 little ones cited
$30,000 a month hundreds of dollars. I mean
tens of hundreds of dollars anyway the point that's not the point the point is how Patrick responds to that
Exactly and they're not better at what I would say I do. I'm the I wrote I will roast you over the fucking calls
without you knowing. But you know who will know the fans.
We're not better than him. Even though we don't know that we won't know that he's better, but the fans will obviously know that Patrick Michael is better.
He loves to think that he's really gonna roasting people.
Like he's just bashing us so hard, he's so good at that.
And I do like that he thinks that,
because it keeps him going.
I'm not an idiot, okay?
I might do stupid shit and say dumb stuff on a podcast, but by far, dude, I would say,
I'm smarter than most of your fans, because I'm not one of them.
Okay.
I'm not an idiot.
I like that. I'll keep it out of the board.
I'm not an idiot.
So, according to Patrick Michael, he tore dick masters on a new ass
Now Andy you know dick you've met him. You listen to a show pretty clever guy
Pretty good at what he does, you know runs his own show pretty popular
But page he's no match or Patrick Michael now and
They're always really fun emails, you know,. We did the Richard thing before on briefcase
where I mentioned that fucking insane email
and how badly I tore him apart.
Most people saw my response even if he didn't, my response.
I mean, come on, dude.
What I destroyed him, that's be real.
I wish I had it right here.
I'd read the fucking thing in the podcast.
You tell me who fucking had the better response.
Let's be honest.
Cause I literally started the response with,
oh, I forgot I was supposed to give a fuck about you.
The end essentially, right?
Yeah, goodbye.
Yeah.
What the sign to sign and sealed, baby?
I forgot you, I forgot you mattered to someone.
Damn.
Will Dick Madgers had ever recovered from that email response.
Stay tuned and find out. I don't know. But the reason
why this is being brought up Andy is because he received another email recently from someone
even bigger than Dick Masterson, a bigger celebrity than the guy who along with Vito Was at the Netflix walkout
Right big deal, right you think there's someone even bigger than him who's messaging top that how do you top that who's bigger than that?
but uh this email
was from a bigger a
Bigger than even this guy, okay bigger than the Richard. We know well. I
go bigger than even this guy, okay? Bigger than the Richard, we know well. I go, click this email and it's huge, dude.
Lots of words, Jesus.
So many fucking words, dude.
And at that point, I'm already like,
ah, Jesus Christ, you're just gonna repeat yourself
five times and I'm not doing your podcast, okay?
That's what, that's essentially already my thoughts.
So I start burning through it.
And I don't know who it is until I get to the end.
They don't say who they are, the subject had no reference to who they were,
but in their verbiage, in the way they're speaking in the email, I'm like,
oh, I think I know who this is.
Stephanie.
Dr. Steve!
He calls Dr. Steve Stephanie.
So we got an email from Dr. Steve.
He's like, wow, I don't even know who this is from.
Well, that's what the from line is for in your email.
He's like, I didn't say it in the subject line.
I had to read through the whole thing.
Yeah, but it was from Dr. Steve.
How do you not know that?
I'm surprised he wouldn't.
So what's here about the content of this email
from Dr. Steve?
But he goes and he says a bunch of words. He's like, you know, I shouldn't over-analyze.
He's obviously poking fun. I should know over-analyze. I should leave the analysis to the ones
that are best at it, including yourself. That's what he says.
Obviously poking more fun, like suck my fucking dick, you son of a bitch. I know what you're
doing. Stop this. So then he continues on. He's like, you know my fucking dick, you son of a bitch. I know what you're doing. Stop this.
So then he continues on. He's like, you know, I could get you in contact
with fucking other comedian.
I have a connection.
It was very, there was like fucking four paragraphs.
A lot of stuff I don't care about, right?
All right, so I have to know what's going on here.
So I'll watch you on it.
Dendrous Steve knows that Patrick Michael is a fan
of Mark Norman as we all are.
Very funny comedian.
So Dad just even says, I know Mark Norman
and I can hook you up with him
if you want to get him on your show.
And Patrick Michael's response isn't,
oh, that's awesome.
I'd be great.
I love to talk to Mark Norman, get him on the show.
It'd be great for us.
His response is, eat a brick, you fucking asshole.
Go fuck yourself.
And the circular argument that happens in his own brain from this, because this has got
to be difficult for him.
Because in one site, he's like, oh, this person's trying to do me a favor.
This would be great.
But everyone's ever tried to do me a favor, actually, hates me and fucks with me, so this
can't be real
So he comes up with this
But if me and Cameron or me and Sam or anybody else I work with me and Trey if we were sitting down
We are the type of people already through these podcasts
We've done together that I would know would have these same conversations without recording a goddamn word
That's the fucking difference is you assholes care too much about what you think
You think you're special. You think for some reason your thoughts are better than the next
person. That's why I did it. That's why I did it. Because I think that I have a different perspective.
That's it. Why does anybody else do it? I'm not doing it because I'm trying to get on Joe Rogan's podcast.
Then I'm trying to get a hour special or some sort of a deal, right?
But it would be nice if the idiots that follow these other podcasts and pay them money
would pay me that type of money, right?
Just do that.
And then we'd be really, we'd be able to do this for a living.
Correct. What do they just say right there, Andy? You just heard that for the first time. What did he just say?
All right. I mean, I see through the bullshit. Yeah. What do you mean? I mean,
if you were serious, you would get Mark Norman on your show. And then people would
pay to hear that. Correct. But what you're really saying is you know, you're a fraud.
You know, you're not talented. And if you were putting a room with somebody that actually was, they would
expose you for that. So you're not going to do it. Okay. All right. You went through this
little deeper than I did. What I heard him say was, why do Roy and Richard have shows?
They think that they have an interesting insight that other people don't have. I mean, because
that's what I think. I think I have that. That's why I have a show. And, you know, they think that they have an interesting insight that other people don't have. I mean, because that's what I think. I think I have that.
That's why I have a show.
And they might have other people supporting them.
And I don't even want that.
But if I did have that, that'd be great.
And actually, if people who support them could support me so that I can make a living off
a podcasting, that would be neat.
And why doesn't that happen?
Yeah.
He's very confused.
What are you giving anybody that's worth supporting you for?
You're not giving anybody anything.
He's giving me a lot of fatter.
You're not giving him Mark Norman or even Dr. Steve on your show.
And then he goes, he talks about how he's a starving artist.
I think I'm more of a starving artist type of personality where it's like I could give
a fuck about money in the long run, but at the same time I want my creative
freedoms I guess, you know, where I came up with this on my own. He's a starving
artist. The thing about starving artists is that they don't want to be starving.
That's like they're going like I can't wait to just you aren't not make anybody at it. That's
No one's tried it. He's like I'm proud to be a starving artist. Why?
That's not what the goal should be
And all thinking we'll be more appreciated after he's dead though. I appreciate him now
I want to look forever.
And he goes on to explain that we are irrelevant.
Whereas these guys have legit clips,
they have my voice, all his other shit,
and they still irrelevant to me.
Wait a second, we're irrelevant to you,
because this is like the 80th show
you've dedicated to talking about us.
So how are we irrelevant to you?
How is that even possible?
By the way, the bills lost to the Jaguars last weekend.
They're relevant to me.
Yeah.
I don't even care about the Buffalo bills.
Who cares?
Doesn't even make a difference in my life.
I didn't care at all.
I don't care.
It's irrelevant to me.
Then they're talking about socket counts
and Cameron's talking about, you know,
these guys who have socket counts like cartof electric,
they're talking about,
and Patrick Michael admits this.
And then even the people that do it,
just to promote their shit,
you're like, what are you doing?
What a waste of time.
Like I have multiple Instagram accounts.
I rarely, if not maybe twice, have liked my own shit.
You know?
He just admitted to liking his own stop on Instagram
through multiple accounts, whoops.
He goes, oh, what, you know, oh shit.
Why did I just say that, oh, wow, damn it.
That's embarrassing.
All right.
More card of electric talk.
This care differently guy definitely jumped into the right scene though, you know, by hanging
out with these dudes who just blow each other all day long.
He definitely got in the right place, you know, to try to come in and suck some dick and
try to get a little bit of that money, you know, for even if it's for a month or two,
you know, obviously he's, I got to give it to him. That's the only thing I can say. He's a smart, he's a smart
guy for trying to jump in and take advantage of these fucking dumbasses who are willing
to shell out any sort of money that are attached to their friends or the, you know, the content
that they like. So you remember he said that, do you want to gas on one of my networks?
Podcasts. Wait, what?
What do you mean like the whole you have a whole network is care differently electricity a podcast network?
What are we doing?
It is it is a whole network of shows I
Believe there's strange medicine. Who are these podcasts the card of electric show what else?
these podcasts, the Cardiff Electric Show, what else? Carloft.
Carloft, thank you.
Carloft, whatever it is.
I don't know.
I thought that was kind of funny because these guys are living in this world where they're
like all these people are making on this money.
You know, they look at the dick show, they look at who are these podcasts and they're like,
well, they're frauds, they're doing it all incorrectly.
And this guy is also trying to get some of that money and he's doing it all incorrectly.
And we're not doing that. We're starving that money and he's doing it all incorrectly and we're
Not doing that we're starving artists and we're doing it the right way and then of course because Patrick Michael doesn't know any other mode
He goes into and I'll beat you up a mode
They don't really understand it. They think that this personality this this jokie. I talk about movies and I do as a
Stallone accent. I'm just this funny fuck up guy and they can do whatever they want and say whatever they want Well, I promise you, pal
You can catch them you can catch the hands. I'm not even one of those guys
It's like you can touch these hands, but I can hit you really fucking hard
Whoa
I'm going to quickly I thought we were just
Taking shots at each other and now it's like well, I'll throw a punch as that you like oh, okay
I'll beat you like a 15-year-old.
Yeah, you should see what happened to that nine-year-old.
I fucked up.
You're going to be like that guy.
After they talk about me and Dick and Cardiff and Stephanie,
go through all of that.
They don't know what else to talk about.
So, Pedro Michael goes, well, I've been working on some jokes.
I can tell you some jokes I've been working on?
Oh, we had it.
I played a few of these on our bonus show,
but I have a bunch more to get into.
So, it starts off with him saying,
he's got a one liner,
listen closely to my one liner, he says.
This is just one line and you really gotta hear it.
Take it in, here we go.
A lot of girls coming in their cars these days
Shout out only fans
It's such a weird thing dude. It's there's nothing grosser than seeing a girl fuck the fucking you know
Dude no way I already know what you're saying in there you're a car guy too. It seems like that you're genre
You're like she fucking a beamer this week hell yeah dude get in I love I love my car I don't
want to make love to my car so a lot of girls coming in their cars these days
is a double entendre and what he's saying is that he saw a video once where a
girl was mastering with the stick shifter and that's why the joke exists and he
also said that's
gross which wholeheartedly disagree with but it depends on the girl but all right so that was his
one line and then he wanted to try out and then he goes and do a hack joke that he admits is a hack joke
all right how about this how come you this might be hacky? It is hacky, but I like it anyways
I said how come you rarely find a car at a garage sale
I
Think it's funny just the idea because I actually have seen like people try to sell a boat or a jet ski at a yard sale
You're like what are you doing?
First of all who the fuck wants to buy a boat those things are so expensive to maintain oh yeah
True
Yeah
A pen bomb a sheet of my basement what are the breaks?
What a fucking idiot who would want to buy a boat he said
Thousands of people who won'touts, I don't know.
Maybe millions?
Probably millions, I guess would be the answer to that.
And embarrassing to say.
That's an embarrassing thing to say.
And also that joke was embarrassing.
Well, this next one, Andy, get ready for it
because this is a whole bit.
This would be, if you're familiar with Birdcrisher's style of comedy.
It's not so much jokes. It's more storytelling, but it's funny. It's funny storytelling.
I think that's what Patrick and Michael's going for in this one.
Have you ever been drying off after a shower and you feel like you miss a spot that you usually don't?
Because typically you have a pattern when you dry.
And my pattern is probably very similar to yours.
But when I get down to my legs and see one of my arms is still wet,
of course, I attempt to dry it.
But for some reason, because it's not a part of the pattern,
my body does not understand how to dry off that arm.
So no joke, I jerk my limbs in a poor attempt to get one of the dry My body does not understand how to dry off that arm.
So no joke. I jerk my limbs in a poor attempt to get one of the dry.
And that's when I realized today is going to be a special day.
Things are already going wrong.
But then you get in bed at the end of the night and you realize you don't
even remember what John was still wet.
That was a true thing that happened when you did. I literally went, I realized I've missed an arm for some reason to my pattern.
Went to redrive the arm and my other arm was like I don't know how to get over.
Just spasm the fuck out.
Yeah bro.
It was so weird to me.
I was like what's going on.
It's like my brain was so used to this pattern that's like, you missed it, leave it. Just go. It's done for.
Andy, can you relate to that? Pretty good addict, don't I?
Well, after hearing it a second time, I really waited to it. I had to hear it twice to
really get it. It's hilarious. His arm was wet because he didn't dry it properly. And
then when he went to bed that night, he forgot which arm was was wet because he didn't dry it properly. And then when he went to bed that night,
he forgot which arm was still wet.
They didn't dry it properly.
And that really happened, Andy.
That's why he came up with that joke.
It's a real thing that actually happened to him.
Speaking of convoluted jokes,
listen to this sausage joke,
that I'm not sure where the punch line is.
I think what he tries to do is
throw out as many punch lines as possible in order for you to decide if there's anything
funny going on. This might be an older one that I wrote but I like it anyways. I said waking
up on the wrong side of the bed has a completely different meaning when you live in your car.
Why is Breck why is breakfast sausage so popular?
I don't like when my pork tastes like a tree.
And yet you've found me when I eat a cold hot dog right out of the pack.
You're eating a sausage that tastes like a muffin.
Talk about processed.
Sure. I don't know what's in this hot dog,
but does it taste like meat?
Kinda.
I mean, is a vegan not going to eat a green square that tastes like air and feel superior to everyone else of course
What the fuck just happened
Yeah, this is the first time I'm I showing going wait what what just happened. Why did it just happen out here?
What's going on?
I'm gonna punch up one of his jokes. I woke up on the passenger's side of my bed this morning.
It's a better joke.
I was wondering what he meant by that.
Like, it means that when you sleep in your car, what does it mean though?
What do you mean it means something different?
Yeah.
I don't get it.
That's a stupid.
He's fucking terrible at this.
He's terrible at this.
This is my last example of this.
I want to be a dramatization actor.
I don't want to be in movies or TV shows or theater.
I want to play a guy named Kyle that was a witness to a murder or something.
And I would take it seriously. I'd spend weeks with the real Kyle.
I'd wear his clothes, sleep in his bed. I'd perfect my craft.
I wonder if anyone has ever done that.
Imagine watching a documentary series and your uncle's like,
Look, it's me. I'm the guy washing his car. That
wasn't even my car. He wants to be a dramatization actor, Andy.
Rather than like go out for like movies or TV shows, he would
just be in dramatizations, get it? Yeah. Yeah, it's a great
thing. He doesn't want to just be an actor. He wants to be an
actor. Yeah. Oh, no, it's a great doesn't want to just be an actor. He wants to be an actor. Yeah. Oh, no, it's a great
It's really good premise. I just he just needs to work on that a little bit and smooth it out. I think I think it'll go really well
God the other cast
Feaching our friend patty see cups very well done patty and Cameron the fact I thought everything he said I would play on my show
Shout out to you as well, Cameron.
You're great.
You're great, call it it.
You call it, you nailed it, buddy.
Good job.
And you have a bunch more clips on here.
What else are we talking about today?
Sure, well, there was also a new briefcase.
Oh, I have some, yeah.
I'm gonna just go on.
I'm just going on.
You get all this other shit going on.
You were whole known.
Yeah. I'll give you some greatest hits for the briefcase I'm gonna just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Somehow managed to start a conversation that Patrick Michael has already had.
So they must be stealing his bid on the 24.
Right.
That makes sense.
I guess I'll just add this here and say me and a friend were talking about this the
other day about, you know, we're just riffing, talking shit as you do with friends.
And we brought up the idea of instead of actually measuring your dick, you should weigh it. And it should go by weight instead of length, right? Because your length could be pencil thin.
And I'm a new fan of a podcast called This is Important. It's all the work of Holly Skies,
Kyle Neewichek, Anders Holm, Adam Devine, Blake Anderson.
And they're actually riffing on this right now at the end of the episode, History of the
Weird Part One.
And they're talking about weighing their dicks.
Okay.
So he wants to take credit for this?
So, yeah.
So he's as talented, if not more talented than these proven talents.
Right. And, but, you know, they didn't rip off the best part of his riff. Oh, okay.
25. So they missed something. All right. They left something on the table.
I'm not saying they stole a bit, but the one thing that they didn't get to is how I said,
you'd be able to weigh it,
and I would come in like Mission Impossible style
from the ceiling down to the scale.
They didn't say that.
I don't know if it's as funny.
I think it's hilarious.
I don't even get it.
It doesn't make any sense.
They didn't even rip off your bit
because it doesn't make any fucking sense.
It doesn't make any sense at all.
Is he like coming in Mission Impossible style and sucking the dick?
Because that's funny.
But that's not explained to me, Carl.
No, the joke is you gotta put your thumb down on the scale.
That's the joke.
It'd be like, yeah, I pulled my cock and my balls out there.
Oh, that's the joke.
Not Mission Impossible style. That's stupid.
Yeah. All right. But you know, he's as funny as those guys, but he's all, you know, because they had the same idea for a joke that he had.
Yeah. You know, that means he's actually funny, just like as funny as Whitney Cummings and clip 26.
But much like when Whitney Cummings and myself both had the same joke about the guy from YMH,
the security guard that Fed Smoker tries to,
I don't know, do whatever he does.
And we both said that he looked like David Spade.
You know, great comedy minds think alike. As I've always said,
oh shit, I mean I don't think that she's a great comedy mind,
but I guess that says a lot about myself, doesn't it?
Uhhhhhhhhh.
Thinking someone looks like someone is not a comedic bit you moron.
He probably did look like David Spade.
The guy with the mullet looks like Joe dirt. It's low-hanging fruit. Right. So that the last thing
he talks about is the Travis Scott concert. Oh yeah, I heard about that. Few people got trampled or
killed at Travis Scott. And a lot of a normal person would hear that and think that, you know, that's, that's
no bueno for multiple reasons.
Sure.
Uh, but what the worst part about it for Patrick Michael, there was a recent incident where
people died at a Travis Scott, Drake concert.
That's horrific to hear.
Uh, simply because it just doesn't seem like there's
the music is good enough to make you have to mosh or jump up and down and crush people,
right? I mean, go to the road to the 88, I get it. That makes sense, you know, they busted
the Paradise City. I'm gonna trample somewhere to death, but this show, I don't get it. That makes sense. You know, they busted the paradise city. I'm gonna trample some of the death, but this show I don't get it.
Why would they kill people?
The worst part was what I was listening to when I got trampled a death.
Jesus Christ. When when Chadwick Boseman, the black dancer died of colon cancer, the worst part was that he was listening to Muscrant Love.
What do you die?
The funny thing is, is that my buddy, Adam Curry, who I listen to, he's convinced that all the people
who died of this cancer had the vaccine
and died of cardiac arrest and heart attacks
because of the ill effects of the vaccine.
Did you ever that theory yet?
Okay. You're like triple to death.
You're okay.
I guess you can go off the deep end in multiple ways.
I suppose.
All right.
Anything else you want to play from a friend Patrick Michael?
No.
And it's all right.
That is just more of the same shit.
And no, how he's the best.
Did he refuse us to make his show good? Well, I have to tell you that we've done it all
today. We started with a little tribute to low tax who committed suicide yesterday,
rest in peace low tax. I did not know that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, something, the guy from something awful,
our rival when I was at E-Bombs World.
It's passed away.
E-Bombs still doing well, by the way.
Uh, we talked about seasons of the bitch.
We talked about Senator John and Patrick Michael
at his new show.
So you know what that means?
It's time for everybody's favorite part of the show.
Oh, cheers.
We're cheers.
We actually like season two.
The team.
Yeah, we're cheers. We're cheersRex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The T-Rex. The. I am Pete. This is open every box. And this
is oh my gosh, Mike. I thought you were going to miss the tour. And this of course is the
second to Amico podcast that happened weekly. Of course, the first one's hosted by Retro
Bro just below here. It comes up on Wednesday. That's the Amiko after dark. The more
riskade of the podcast. This is a show called Amiko All Access, a suggestion from
my friend Vito, just Walde. We'll be reviewing that next week on who are these
podcasts. So please check that out. Andy, I want to thank you so
much for coming on the show this week. Anything that you want to plug or promote my front. Sure. Yeah, I
found this old cell phone in the garbage and I'll be performing the stand-up routine at the car.
Yes, I can't wait for that. That's going to be a lot of fun. All right. Well, we'll check you out
there. And if you want to hang out, we're going to do reviews in a minute. But right, well, we'll check you out there. And if you wanna hang out, we're gonna do reviews in a minute.
But first, I wanna say, please join us again next week.
It might be the episode we find out what's for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Sleep well, every pony.
Starting in the must-vis of Morning Radio.
Get down to show these clothes right now.
Mm, okay.
Great show.
Good job, everybody. Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Internet news will be back next week.
As correspondent, that broad is out with what's this voicemail
from CTV herself.
Hi, producer Chris.
It's correspondent Zach Rodd here.
And yes, I indeed have tested positive for
COVID-19.
The effects are brutal, and have been well documented.
Can I currently only want to watch TV and delivery is not always an option?
What a journalist finds her way in this toxic-turden world.
So, real quick, before I have to nap again, here we go.
From our pills in the shows subreddit, someone was saying,
Jen from the Jingle department also got this shit.
Fucking Rona.
So do the gang, wonder what I look like.
Rochester Chung is apparently a thing.
Everyone loves Kroge, I mean, she is pretty dope. Like Rochester Chung is apparently a thing.
Everyone loves Croge, I mean, she is pretty dope.
There's a good top five fans of any podcast thing worth checking out.
Some other shit with Opie, so I'll play this out with Uncrash it later. Vick. Hello. Welcome back to the show. I'm speaking for myself and no one else. I missed you. Have you been?
I've been playing a little world of warcraft and I'm probably about to puke from just listening to the
disgusting COVID person. So I know it's too much too much COVID going out on the show. It's very
annoying right now. It's not good. It's pretty gross. I hate snot and things like that. It's too much too much COVID going out in the show. It's very annoying right now. It's not good
It's pretty gross. I hate snott and things like that. It's just not the best. Oh, you're in the minority on that most people
Love it when people are snottie and coughing over the place. Why we love kids so much. They're great
Dirty diaper and snott
Sign me up sounds great
Vic, we have any new reviews
That's correct very good. Do we have any new reviews that have come at recently?
Not really. I mean your most recent reviews on November 4th
What the fuck which may or I know I know
I mean I was popular. See what's where what's going on
I'm sure this episode will spawn several one-star.
It's possible. I'm surprised when we did the AVGN, the Angry Redo Game Nerd last week,
that got a lot of response from multiple communities. So I'm surprised it didn't encourage,
well I guess those people won't give a shit about Apple podcasts. Probably is why there's no new reviews on there.
Correct, but you are still down in the count.
You have 1,178 one-star reviews and you have 1,112 five-star reviews.
So it's close to 50-50 is what you're telling me.
It's very close. That's
impressive. I gotta say for a show this bad because this show is not good. To have
that many five-star reviews I'm blown away by that. I know Victor can give me a five-star
review. I know it wasn't Andy. I know Cardiff Electra didn't so. I don't think I've ever reviewed your show nor do I want to.
I'd probably get a one star.
Heck.
Is there anything to read or anything you wanted to contribute?
Not really.
I just really enjoy how Casey can never make it because she's always camping or canoeing.
Is she?
That's how much dedication she puts in your show.
Is she the worst?
And it's not as if her internet connection
is gonna be worse when she's out canoeing.
It's the same.
We just, just hop on and talk to us, Kasey.
What the fuck?
I think it'd be better.
I think it might be better.
I agree.
All right, let's listen to some voice mouse together then.
Starting off with the British version
of Stuttering John called
into the show.
Hey, Carl, this is British Stuttering John and this is what I sound like.
I just want to let you know that the lawsuit is still on the way and I'm going to be down
there, yeah?
And I'll let you know I'll be in new in raw chest or wherever you fucking at. Or if you know what you can show up to the
t- if you want and we can have a fucking brawl.
Yeah, I'll be down there drinking my fucking beer.
Yeah, and I'll let you know I'll show you other real
spore in tone. Really handles this fucking work.
I'm gonna work huge. I'm gonna work you so hard, Carl, and you little guy, Chris.
I'm gonna work him too, and you're a cold good guy.
I'm gonna get him going too.
I just wanna let you know, I'm here.
I'm here, I'm only queer.
Don't make fun of my children like that to me, you guy, did.
But anyways, I'm just letting you know. I'm letting you know, Carl. Quiddie don't make fun of my children like that to me a guy did but anyways
Oh, I'm just let you know I'm let you know Coru that I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm ready to beat you
All right, I think you had a premise, but didn't know where to go
Not that one I can be British Southern John. All right, and then what?
All right fair enough then what? All right, fair enough. Our buddy, Prep Boy Rick called in to talk about what a time
hire is recent jokes. Hey, Carlos is Prep Boy Rick. I got a Tom Myers All Star joke for you
from my Facebook feed. Here we go. I know the government in mandates that we turn our clock back this weekend.
But I did my own research and mixing up a sleep schedule like that is unhelking possibly
the moment.
So I believe in my clocks right where they are.
Thank you.
And any business or workplace, that doesn't accommodate me in this anti-liberty hates God
and each children.
This is the man who has done stand up before and I am disappointed that he still exists.
All right, that was a cut. Have a good day sir. Bye.
Tom Myers is not good at comedy. Every point is that out of your heads.
I don't think so. You might want to say it again.
All right. I'm going to say it again. Tom Myers is not good at comedy.
He's almost like a hacker.
Because jokes are set up research paper punchline, right?
Of course.
That's how you tell a joke.
That's always, when you have to go to Wikipedia and read about the set up, that's where
the joke is the funniest.
It could possibly be.
Hey, I wanted to give a big shout out to Croge this week.
He came in high with some great advice about pulling TV shows from dating profiles.
I mean, he's the guy you've got to be taking advice from.
Nobody sounds like they get more post-event Croge.
That's a pretty funny voicemail. This guy knows that our voicemails have been bad lately.
Hey Carl, just been explicit into your most recent episode.
I'm just sure guys, really liked it.
I'm a bit of a mess because it's such a dig.
But I was thinking myself, listening to the voicemails and other works part of the show,
and I was like, man, all these motherfuckers suck gigs.
They're all corny.
I'm corny.
I'm a pretty shitty person.
And I thought to myself, this is really funny.
And when I listen to the ending bumper, I started seeing it to myself.
I was like, holy fuck.
I am the podcast demographic, a lonely motherfuckers that get friendship from people that I don't know in some shitty ass town in New
York who just shits on and bully other people consistently punching down on weak and
retarded people who make shitty content for other weak retards.
I love it.
Call me back.
Very critical, sir.
I can't think that was better. it. Call me back. Very critical, sir.
I think that was better. I don't think so. And also, I don't know that I want to be
front of that guy. Sounds like he doesn't like our show very much or our city. Sounds like
he's not a big fan of our city, Andy. Who is 76 homicides today? Do we're in a state of emergency? Do you see that?
We're in a state of emergency in Rochester
because of all the violence that's going on.
Is there like extra violence for any reason?
I think people are pissed.
Well, it's funny because yesterday
they came down there's a state of emergency in our city.
And then last night two more kids were shot and killed.
And it's like, I guess the state of emergency didn't work.
I guess I didn't get that info on their cell phones
that there's a state of emergency.
Too much violence.
Like, yeah, we don't care.
We're just gonna keep on keeping on.
Bukaki Queen called back into the show.
Oh my God, Carl.
This is a Bukaki Queen.
Can you do me a favor and clip the part of last week's show
where Kroge rages about David Lee Roth
so I can boss her by,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Master, babe.
Thank you, Carl, Tommy Kroge.
All right, Buccocky Queen.
I think you could find that on that clip yourself.
I'm not going to help you out with that.
It's always.
She's, you know, you know, down.
So you might need to help her out, Carl.
Apparently I do.
I mean, Vic, let me ask you because you're also a Buccocky Queen in your own
right.
What parts of the show do you master, Beto?
Uh, just listening to my own voice, stuttering other words.
I know. I know. I know. I had a feeling. All right, I win that bet. Um, there's a guy
who's playing. Worker iPhone with when your hands are covered in jizz. You can't
try on your phone. You shouldn't pick up your phone when your hands are covered in jizz. She can't take on her phone. You shouldn't pick up your phone when your hands are covered in jizz.
It says it right on the manual for your iPhone.
This is a guy who's playing the home edition of who are these podcasts.
I thought I needed to include this.
I'm not even eight minutes into this episode about snail mail.
Some bank holds snail mail, some bank called snail mail, and I am playing the WWE PP home edition, and yelling at my phone deliberately.
What the fuck?
I already hate this podcast.
I've sent them hate mail before.
Some were choice, some were just like they ran to about everyone being
Nazis, but then literally are pushing people to get their kids vaccinated. Anyway, um, you're
not gonna play this girl, but I hope you enjoy it. And you know, go fight yourself. Love
you. Don't tell me what I'm gonna play in that place, sir. Don't even think about it.
I'll play everything.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm punishing people for listening to this log into our show.
Sometimes prostitutes are undercover cops.
That's correct.
That would be a video I've made with the isotops, Betty, years ago.
It's still on the internet if you want to look for that.
All right.
I guess a Mexican called into our show.
I made a joke on our bonus show, I think.
We used to play, all right, I'll just explain the backstory here.
We used to play at the East End Fest in downtown Rochester, New York, Andy.
And the cover chart was three bucks,
which is kind of nothing, right?
$3 into a music festival.
Yeah, everybody can afford that.
I'm looking forward to it.
So the I still have to make a joke
that three bucks might not seem like a lot,
but it keeps the Mexicans out,
which I brought up on a recent show.
Yeah, with the curl,
I just wanna let you know, I'm probably going to unsubscribe from Patreon,
but just for a month, okay, just for a month,
I need $5 to get into these fancy music festivals
that are in the park, I guess.
And I heard they're $5, and I'm trying to get in,
and being a Mexican, be the Mexican.
This will be an accomplishment for my people.
All right.
Now I'll see you guys later.
All right.
I apologize.
The only Mexican I know is a multibillionaire.
So I might not understand the culture all of that.
Well, last voicemail that I have to play is about the Bukaki queen.
Now from the Buk book hockey queen but about her
and carl you fucking retard you're telling us that you met the book hockey
queen i wake up with behind on the foot but you met the book hockey queen
and you didn't tell us what her fucking can situation was
how can you be fucking buddies with dick and not know that the first thing you
tell anyone about a fucking woman is the can situation so what's the the canned situation like Carl? Is it a confi-worthy or is
it kind of that unfitiful? That's a good point sir. I did not talk about the
Mukaki Queen's canned situation and I should have. That's an important part of
the story. I would say that the Mukaki Queen is at a Vic level can situation
Which I agree is it's probably like a C to a D correct
Yeah, very good. Now it was it was a Halloween party. So she was wearing a dumpster
She went as a cum dumpster
Did you meet the Bukaki hear you're at the show.
No, no.
All right.
I was making a joke.
I shouldn't introduce you.
I should introduce you to my apologies.
She didn't even tell me who she was.
But Vic, thank you so much for coming on the show.
I always appreciate you coming on.
Hopefully we get some new reviews for next time.
That would be good.
I don't know, probably not.
Well, there's other places to find reviews besides just Apple.
Are you looking at other places, too?
Oh, I checked. Audible. I checked the Reddit.
I was going to read like maybe a Reddit comment or two,
but like they were too annoying. I kind of read it.
I checked everywhere. Carl. No one likes you anymore.
I'm so sorry.
The Reddit was using all those pesky things like words.
You didn't want to get involved in that.
I get it. I understand.
All right. And he thinks so much for coming on the show, buddy.
Sorry, we had to do it.
We're going to.
I know. I'd sooner get COVID than do another remote.
So we'll get it right next time.
This sounds good. Let's see that.
Jesus, I gotta go.
This is getting stupid.
Bye guys.
Okay, folks.
Guess what?
What's with the dancing around the shit? I stink you hate me great. Goodbye. I got to go goodbye
Goodbye