WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Cultivate Radical Hospitality | Sadie Robertson Huff & Joy Caissie

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Sadie met a new friend and was so inspired by her story she wanted to share it with everyone! Joy Caisee and her husband, Clay, practice radical hospitality by loving and serving guests at their short-term rental properties. Joy worked for years in a corporate job after being a stay-at-home mother, but her heart kept pulling her to love on and care for people all around her and eventually she was able to make that her full-time occupation — and ministry! Sadie and Joy talk about waiting seasons and how those chapters in life are preparing us for what the NEXT chapter will be. Do the cool thing wherever you are — and ministry CAN be anywhere you are!  This Episode Sponsored by: https://www.dwellbible.com/WHOA — Get 25% off Dwell Bible – When reading the Bible isn't an option, listening is. https://www.hungryroot.com/whoa — Get 40% OFF your first delivery and FREE veggies for life! http://www.a2platinum.com/whoa — Get 25% off your first purchase when you order online! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up sisters and friends? Happy Monday everybody y'all. We are about to get our week started off so great together because I have a good friend on. Her name is Joy and I've actually known her for a pretty long time but we just actually got to know each other here really this week. And I'll tell you how this happened and it's so beautiful. My teammates were meeting with Joy because she's going to help out some with the LO Sister Conference.

And they said, they called me out and said, Sadie, you've got to have Joy on the podcast. Like her story is so amazing. She's so inspiring. She is like mentored us essentially while we sat there with her and met about conference and I was like what in the world? I know her but we've never had a conversation So I said look I'd love that but I don't know her story So see if she would go to coffee with me and then we'll talk about it

So we went to coffee and I literally called Steph after goes she had like yes She has been like ASAP and so we have planned for today And that was just a couple of days ago that we had coffee and fell in love with who you are and your story. And I'm so thankful that you're on the podcast today. So thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. And thanks to your team. They're amazing.

But it was a really good conversation with them as well. And I'm inspired by all of you and your work. And I think that any you know, any of our stories that we have can help somebody else who's gone through something similar or can be relatable. So if I can help in that way, I would love to. Well, I know she's going to, and I know it's gonna inspire you,

but I will say before we even start, you are not used to doing a ton of podcasts, are you? No, like one. One? I've done one. I think I cried the whole time. That's okay. I'm good today though. I don't think I'll cry. Well, I wouldn't say that. People get on this couch and the tears come. But no, I love that you're doing this because I know it can be hard to step outside of your comfort zone, especially share something like your story. But first we'll just start with people getting to know who you are and what you and your husband do because that's how I got to know you guys. So what are you guys up to right now?

Well, we currently own, I guess the easiest way to say it is Bayou Joy LLC. And so we have all of our short-term rentals under that umbrella. And our flagship short-term rental or Airbnb was Buy You Long Beard, which we created back in 2018. And well, I guess we started in 2017. And it went live on Airbnb 2018, two days after we got married. So it's kind of our baby. We actually don't have children of our own. I have three from a previous marriage and Clay had never been married. So we got married March 10th of 2018. We went live with Longbeard not really knowing that it was going to take off and do as well as it has done. You know, Clay's parents had this space where his grandparents had lived and once they passed

away, you know, they were like, what are we going to do with this space? And Clay said, you guys should Airbnb it, like, I'm going to go back to Nashville. But I think God just- Before y'all were dating or were y'all dating whenever that happened? So it's, we probably should write a book so we can put all the details in it. But really what happened is Clay and I, we dated in high school. So we've been friends since we were 15 and 16. And we've just been friends all these years.

And then we graduated high school and went our separate ways. I got married at 19, had three children, was a stay-home mom for 10 years. Clay randomly got into the music industry and has traveled the world for 25, 30 years with some really incredible people. And he says he can't believe it's a job. But long story short is Clay's grandfather passed away in 2016 and he came home for the funeral. And so it wasn't uncommon for Clay to ask me if I wanted to go to lunch or dinner

or maybe a group of our friends from here. A lot of times we would meet up at Johnny's Pizza because you know, if you live away and you come home. If you know you know Johnny's Pizza. That's right. So we actually went to Dax that day for a Sunday lunch after church. And it was two of my children, one of their friends,

and me and Clay, and we're just catching up. It felt very different that time. And after a six hour lunch there, we ended up at Clay's parents' house and we were sitting in the space talking about, like, what did they wanna do with that space, you know? And I mean, I literally like entered the chat like day of, you know, they had just buried his grandfather

the day before. So it was all very fresh. But you know, Clay said, y'all should Airbnb it. We weren't dating at the time. But the next day, he said, I want to see you again before I leave town. And I said, well, you know, the kids are going to have friends over. So you'll have to come there. We can hang out, you know, on the porch or whatever.

So I remember the conversation. It did feel different, but I had no idea that he was going to ask me if I wanted to date, you know, and I was just like, sure, we can date, but I'm never gonna get married again. He always jokes, because he made a joke that night. He said, that's fine, I'll change my last name. And it kind of just, you know, I feel like I don't have a lot of blonde moments, but it went over my head. Like I really never thought that I would get married again,

especially, you know, not to Clay Casey. But we took a walk and things just went for a turn. So we did start dating, I guess, really that day. But he went back to Nashville and, you know, as a busy single mom working full time and him traveling, you know, I thought this could work, you know, because also in his past, like, relationships really hadn't turned out because when somebody's on the road for months at a time, it's hard to maintain a relationship with somebody. And he said he always had a great life

and so he didn't want anything or anybody to mess it up. So he was good with where he was. It's funny because whenever you were telling me that story, the whole time I was like, oh, that's so cute. Like you all did in high school. And then you were telling me about that walk and about him asking you to be, I guess he said it, like, do you want to start dating? And I was like, oh, and you're like, yeah, but it's actually like awkward to start dating

at your age. Like you were saying that. And I think that we have a lot of mom listeners. We have a lot of like, we have all-age listeners, like truly. We talk a lot to people my age because I am my age. And so you naturally talk about that, but we have all age listeners. And so I just wanted to say that,

cause I thought that that was just like an interesting part of your story where you were just acknowledging that like, yes, it's sweet, but it wasn't like butterflies and rainbows. I was like, okay, we can date, but I'm not gonna get married. Like you had kind of been in this time where you had gone through a divorce, I was like, OK, we can date, but I'm not going to get married. You had kind of been in this time where you had gone through a divorce, and you're like,

it's not really what I'm looking for. But I have to say, just for the Airbnbs that they have, so this is kind of how I got to know you guys. Aside from Clay and I ran into a lot of the same circles and worlds, because a lot of the people that he worked for on tours and different things, people that I know and we've gotten to do things with. And so Clay and I definitely had a lot of connections,

but y'all's Airbnb's, like we got to stay there. We fell in love with them. We think they're so amazing. It was kind of like an oasis for Christian and I. So many people that we know have stayed there after they got married and just like significant moments in people's lives and they've just been so awesome. But another thing about you guys is just y'all's love for our community and how you've taken

like what y'all have with these spaces and you've made them to be these like truly like little havens, which actually I wrote in your book at your Airbnb when I stayed there and then named our daughter Haven and you reminded me of that. I ran across that note and I texted you and I was like, did you even know you were gonna name your child Haven when you wrote this as a haven for us? Not at all.

I thought that was really cool. Not at all and it was, it was like it was a haven and that's like one of the things when I named Haven, Haven, like that word is very special to me. I don't use that word often. And that was like a haven for us. Y'all's hospitality and when I stepped in there, it was like, wow, this is so beautiful.

And what I love especially about it is it's in Monroe, Louisiana, which a lot of people don't associate with beautiful things. They're like an amazing place to stay or an incredible experience, which is something we're trying to change, something we're working hard at. It's one of the reasons we have our tour,

I mean, our conference here, we want to revive the city as we're spiritually revived. We want to see that revival happen. We wanna host people well. We love where we live. It's shaped us, it's molded us. It's been a beautiful place for us. But a lot of people in this town don't see it like that.

You know, you even talked about you didn't see it like that before you started dating Clay and y'all were doing this. And I think so many people listening to this, you might be like, oh, I want to move to Nashville, I wanna move to LA, I wanna move to New York, I wanna move to the big city, I wanna do the cool thing. But like, what I think is so special about y'all's story is like, y'all did the cool thing where y'all are at

and y'all made it cool because y'all are cool people and brought your uniqueness to it. So inspiring. Thank you for saying that. I love it. But on the note of making something in the middle of Monroe, a haven, which is something that I think you have to put intentionality behind to do.

Tell me a little bit about just that love for hospitality and bringing that into creating the spaces you guys have created. You know, I'm starting to think that pretty much everyone's schedule is busy no matter what season of your life you're in, whether you have toddler and a baby like me, or you're in college, or wherever you're at. Things are just busy and sometimes our schedules can get in the way of our time with the Lord, but thankfully the Dwell Bible app makes it super easy to listen to God's Word read by people who love the Bible just as much as you do. There's never been a more customizable audio Bible with over 20 different voices to choose from. Soothing music and calm sounds enhance the listening experience and you can choose from

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Go check it out, friends. discount that you can get today. Go check it out, friends. Yeah, so interesting enough, when Clay left after we started dating and he left and went back to Nashville, it was like a few weeks later, he said, I'd love to fly you to Nashville, show you around the city I've lived in for so long.

It's so funny because I was like you want me to fly an airplane like alone because I had flown once in my life but long story short of that was I spent a few days there and then we actually had a road trip back to Monroe for Thanksgiving with our families but I vividly remember leaving Nashville and telling Clay that I feel like I'm the least creative person on the face of this earth. Yeah, I didn't tell you that the other day. There's just not enough time for all these details.

But I did because I just remember everywhere that we went in Nashville, whether it was a restaurant or a concert or someone's home, like people are creating there, whether it's art or food or music, you know, murals are everywhere. And I just didn't think that I could create like I really, I guess I didn't feel like I had an outlet or I didn't even think about the fact that I didn't have an outlet or maybe resources or whatever. But I think really what it was is it's in there and then you have somebody that

gets behind you and champions you to do those things. And so I remember him saying, yes you do, like you take great pictures or you know you can do any of this stuff like you're amazing. And he just that's how our relationship started was him really just cheering me on. So when you're paired up with someone else who is creative, because he is, and who's been exposed to the world and all these amazing people that I feel like have shaped him, you can become a really cool team. So I feel like it was in there, but something had to bring it out. And I feel like Clay and the timing of all the things in our lives, the way that things lined up, brought that creativity out. So with Longbeard,

I was working full-time, Clay was traveling, and I still had two children at home. So he kind of commissioned a friend to help us with Longbeard and we kind of put together a color palette, a theme, a vision board type thing. And our friend Heather Land helped us curate that. And it's she's amazing if you know her or have ever been in her home. It's just very eclectic. And that's what we wanted. We wanted something cool that didn't feel like you were in Monroe, you know? And we just said, if it doesn't turn out to be a great Airbnb, then we have a cool extension of this home, you know, which ended up later

being our own home. So that was fun. And we got to put the final touches really on that. And we moved furniture all the time and we changed things up. And then I think just the hospitality part of it is where I felt like we really zoned in on that first before we created our second Airbnb, which is where I think my confidence for creating something really was boosted because we did it all by ourselves.

That one's called Munro Mohave. It's like a little desert oasis. Y'all have to come stay in that one too. Yes. Well, I get to see it. We haven't stayed in it, but I was like, it literally feels like we're in Cabo right now and we're in Munro. Yes. We're always like, mission accomplished whenever somebody says that. So yeah, as far as hospitality goes, I didn't realize that so many things in my life through the years were really leading me to this point of hospitality being my life and even being a ministry. Like for us, we connect with so many people. We have so many meaningful conversations and we share our story with people that come through there and

I quit my corporate job a year and a half ago to focus on this full-time and there's just been so many opportunities where you know if if I was still working a corporate job I wouldn't be there for coffee on the porch or a boat ride at sunset to have these conversations with people. And so I realized that even my corporate job at Vantage Health Plan is shaped to me a lot for hospitality. And I think Clay even realizes that his career in the music industry has really shaped him

for what we are doing together, which is creating cool spaces for people where we get really nerdy about making it so cool and touching all your senses so that you have like the best possible experience. But what that does for our city is, you know, if you come into our city and stay with us and we can give you a good experience and then tell you where all the great local things are, tell you about our city, all the history, the culture, then you know those guests leave Monroe and West Monroe feeling like, wow, that's a cool city. Yeah. And so like we're not against hotels at all or other Airbnbs, but if somebody comes through Monroe and they stay at a place that wasn't inspiring or wasn't clean or didn't smell good or feel good or whatever, they're going to leave thinking

about that. Yeah. And it doesn't matter to all people. Not everybody cares about an experience when they stay somewhere. They just need a place to lay their head. And we've had those people come through our spaces, but they leave and they're like, wow, I can't believe that was in Monroe. Well, it's true. And you do, even if you say for a second, like you base so many times, we often like for better, for worse, and sometimes for worse, we can make a judgment on something based

off of like the five seconds we encountered it, you know, like the first few seconds. And I think that that's like the hard thing about, um, like people who are celebrities and some would put me in that category of like a famous person. And, and it's hard because you meet someone and you know, you have this one encounter with them and then that is the encounter they're going to take away. And they're going to tell everyone that's who you are as a person. Oh, I met that person one time and they were blah, blah, blah. And there's this one person that commented on my Instagram

and she like made it out to like make sure everyone knew that I was not who I said I was because one time I was at the beach and I was with all my friends. And back in the day, this is before I was married, and I used to be like, if I was with all my friends, it would embarrass me when we would be out and people would freak out over who I was, because you're with your friends

and you're trying to be normal. I was just like, it would just make me feel like, oh man, I don't want my friends to feel uncomfortable about this moment. And we were at a place where it was super crowded and so the buzz started going and everyone could just kind of hear it and I was trying to just kind of ignore it, like keep going, like no one had said anything.

And then someone had said like Sadie or whatever. And I acted like I didn't hear them because I was just gonna try to like ignore the moment, try to just keep the normalcy that I could and maintain this moment. And I do feel bad for ignoring it, but now you see the context of what that was coming from. Well, this girl would come on every Instagram picture of mine

for so long, just letting people know that I was so rude and that I ignored her and letting people know what I was really like. And I ended up DMing and being like, I'm so sorry that that was your experience with me, because that really is not who I am. But to your point, people have one experience in Monroe, and it might be a negative one,

and then that's what that city was, for better or for worse. And so I do think the intentionality behind, that can go from hosting and how you present, or just being who you are, it is important that you present yourself in such a way that makes people feel loved and special in all those ways. And so, and that particular story that I shared, I think it's important for the other person to have grace on you too and know that there are certain moments. But I love that you guys carry that, like, I want to be a person that when you come here, you feel that love, you feel like it's a haven, like it's above and beyond. But what I love about your story is,

there's so many things I love about your story, but one of the things I love about it is, it didn't actually start with this like gifting of like, oh, I'm so creative and I'm so good at interior design and I can make something look so cool. That was actually not it. Really, from what I heard, it was that love for hospitality and making people feel special and taking care of.

And I think so many people in this day, it's like they desire to be like, to have that gifting, but they might not have the heart in the right place. And I think that it's so important that before you get into like what you're going to do, you establish why you're going to do it. Because if you know the why, the what comes naturally. But if you only know the what and you don't have the why, then the what does not come naturally. It's a grind. It's a striving to get there. But man, if you know that why, it's like the what just follows. And you know, when you told me about working at your corporate job advantage, tell us a little bit about just that interview. Because I remember when you were telling me that you didn't think you were the girl for the job.

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and don't forget to use our link so that they know that we sent you there. Actually, I was working for a CPA, which was I had a couple of well, let me back up. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years. I didn't finish college. It's to me at the time at 18. It was it was too hard to carry a full-time job and and to go to school full-time, which I know is is a really common thing for a lot of people. Like I didn't really

feel like I had it in me to get to get all that done to like accomplish it. Again, I had very low, I think, self-esteem and just I was very shy and like meek and quiet and so a very chaotic upbringing. So when I got married and ended up pregnant like a year and a half, I had my first baby after I got pregnant. I mean after I got married, I stayed home for 10 years and so I didn't finish college. And, and so I went through a divorce in 2008. And I was I was the lady that didn't have anything under her belt to like start a career, you know, that I made the choice to, you know, to, to go through the divorce and then just try to figure it out. So it's weird, because I was probably the, the most likely least likely person to

to say I can do this like on my own but I didn't know what that was going to look like. So I had a couple of of jobs that were really great that I didn't have benefits for for me and my children. So I had a friend reach out to me to let me know there was an opening at Vantage Health Plan. I had no idea what Vantage was. At the time, I remember seeing all of these yard signs popping up around town with Affinity Health Group. And so Vantage was growing rapidly and she was like, there's this position in human resources that I think you would be great for. And I was like, what's human resources, you know?

So I knew that I loved people. I knew that I had a lot of life experience, but I didn't have a college education. I didn't have a degree in HR. And so I was like, I mean, I'll interview, but I'm probably not gonna get the job. And the guy that interviewed me that ended up being my boss later, he also knew my story

and some of the history with my divorce and things like that. So I thought, he's not going to hire me. I'm just not the one for the job. And I remember Brad Bertram telling me that there are people that can come in here with five degrees, but they don't have like the innate ability to connect with people, to love people like you do, and life experience sometimes can be more valuable than a college degree. And so not that college degrees aren't valuable. I think they're amazing. I think it tells that you can also stick with something and accomplish it. I think it would have been really cool for me to do that one day, but I didn't.

I do want to say that you can have a career without having gone through college, or you can be something without having graduated college. Whatever path path you choose, like it's okay, you can find something that you love and that you're passionate about. So I just happened to be 40 years old when I realized, wow, this is what I was made for. The way that Vantage Health Plan, the job there really shaped me in so many ways and connected me with some amazing people really shaped me in so many ways and connected me with some amazing people throughout the community. But I was able to really serve people and love on people through Vantage with you know 1,200 to I don't know 1,600 employees that we served. But as people would come through the doors like to interview for jobs or to meet with our executives. I just had this like,

I had this burning desire to make sure that they felt comfortable and they had everything they needed. If they were nervous, I wanted to chat with them and just like try to calm their nerves because I was the girl sitting in the interview seat at one point. So I know, I know what it feels like to, you know, to come in. And it's funny because I kind of felt like that today coming in to interview with you again. But sometimes if you don't know what to expect, or you don't know what someone's going to ask you, like, you know, the nerves can be really crazy when you're interviewing for a job, especially if you really want the job. So the servants heart that I had and that I was able to like really, I guess, display in my job there helped me to realize how much I love hospitality and serving people.

And I wanted to do that full time. So for five years, we actually had Bayou Long Beard and I worked the corporate job. So there were nights at midnight where we were cleaning. We did all the cleaning ourselves for five years. We just enlisted somebody to help us and it's still hard to delegate that out because I'm so picky about,

I wanna make sure that it's a perfect experience for when our guests check in and you have to really trust somebody else to make sure everything it's a perfect experience for when our guests check in. And you have to really trust somebody else to, to make sure everything looks and feels the way that you want it to. So living next door does help, but I would, I would sit at work advantage and think about how I could be home, you know, nesting or creating, you know, something else or, or getting ready for the next guest.

And so I really had to decide where I wanted to be and where I wanted to focus all my energy. And it was full-time hospitality with our short-term rentals. Well, it's so cool because I think about this, you know how everyone says Taylor Swift is the queen of Easter egg hunts. You know, it's the Easter eggs all throughout. I'm like, no, God, that, God is king of Easter eggs because you look back at your life and you see all of these little Easter eggs

that is planted in your life. And you're like, oh my gosh, I'm finding all these. When you look back and you think about you at vantage and you're like, I'm not the person for the job, all this stuff, which kind of is a theme of like, disqualifying, thinking like, oh, you know, I'm not creative, or I'm not the person for this job because you know me from this, and you might think that,

or I'm not gonna get married because of this, and whatever, so many times, like, I'm not calling you out on a sense of you do this, we all do this, like, we all, like,. We all so often disqualify ourselves for the thing that God's setting up for us. He's like, setting this up, and actually, you are prepared for this, because look at what you just came from.

And so you're sitting here at advantage, thinking I'm not the person for the job. You get the job, and you don't just do the job, you do the job well with purpose and passion, and you start to realize, you know what? I'm not just like sitting here at this desk, I'm going to make this like a welcoming space for people. And I want people to feel comfortable and I want people to feel love when they walk in this room and I want people to feel prepared for what they're stepping into.

And you cultivate this servant heartedness and this hospitality mindset in this vantage office. And like now you're doing that on a bigger scale with Airbnb's and hosting people in your home and making sure that they feel comfortable and they feel loved. And as you were talking to people there and preparing them for that,

you're doing the same thing now. You're talking to people and having discussions. And so God, you know, every season, there's not a wasted one. Every season has its purpose. Every season God is cultivating something in you and that's why I don't like the term like I'm in like a waiting season, you know?

And I know we often use that and there's nothing bad about using that term but why I don't like it is because I think so many times when we think of waiting, like think about like a waiting room before you go into like the doctor's office. It's like purposeless, you know? It's useless, like you're sitting there and like you're just scrolling, you're reading some magazine that's from 2018 that has nothing to do with now. Waste your time. You're watching the tv, you know, you're waiting for the purpose of being there is

the appointment. And I think sometimes we treat waiting seasons like that, like oh well there's nothing really here for me, I'm just waiting until I get that break or I'm just waiting until I get that job or I'm waiting until I get married or I'm waiting until I have kids. But like, no, like every season, there is something in that that I believe every day, God is cultivating something in you that is making you become who you're gonna be

and who you're gonna need to be for the next one. And so I just love that that time there was, it wasn't wasted, it wasn't waiting, it was preparing you for all that you're stepping into now. On the note of just making people feel comfortable and going the extra mile, he mentioned this a second ago, like having coffee with people and going on boat rides,

and that is the extra mile thing that y'all do for y'all's guests, like you make yourselves available if they want to, you know to be with y'all. And if not, you know, I remember the first time we stood there, you won't even see us. Yes. And we didn't. But if there is a guest, it's like, hey, we want to hang out. I know you've had moments like that. Are there any that you feel OK with sharing that you've been able

to kind of speak into some guest lives? Sure. There's always two that come to mind really quickly when people ask us that. And I remember there was this lady. She booked. And if you've ever booked an Airbnb, it prompts you to tell the host why you're coming. And so a lot of times, people just say, you know, ball game or

family reunion or some people don't say anything. But as a host, I like to find out like really, what are you coming for? Is there anything that we can do extra for you? Can we make any local recommendations? I remember this one lady in particular, she, we always offer a Bayou biscuit board and then a sunset cruise if the weather's permitting and we're home, you know. So I remember in my conversation with her back and forth, just on the Airbnb app, she was very just cut and dry. She didn't conversate a whole lot.

And she, you could tell she didn't want to come and like visit with us, which is fine. We respect that. We will be very hands-on with you if you want us to be, but if not, you can just have your private space and we respect that and we'll make sure that we do everything to protect that. So we knew that this lady was coming in to visit her mom's grave. And so that immediately feels like very solemn and like, of course she's, you know, not there to make friends or whatever. But I remember later that night,

I was cooking dinner and she sent me a text message and said, can I take you up on that boat ride? And we were like, sure, like turn the oven off, like let's go. So I remember Clay and I went out and got everything ready. She met us down there. We had this amazing conversation on the boat and we got back up to the porch and you know, we share a back porch with Bayou Longbeard.

So there came a time where like we would go in to our door and she would go in her door. And we just stood there and talked for like 30 more minutes and we ended up sitting on the couch. It just turned into a conversation until midnight. She opened up a lot about some things with her children and the church, just some of the disappointment that she had had in the church. Long story short, the next night she asked, could we do it again? She's been back probably seven or eight times.

She lives in Fayetteville. And we've gotten to be really good friends with her. We've helped her shop for real estate because she's from Monroe and she would love to have like a piece of property on the bayou. So that's one. And then we had this other couple come from, I think Austin, Texas, moving to North Carolina.

Because we're on the I-20 corridor, we get a lot of people that just need light to break their trip up. These guys were there. They actually took us up on the offer for a sunset dinner cruise. I remember we set the table for them and they were walking down the dock and they saw like everything we'd done for them which we would do for any of our guests. We'd treat them all the same way.

They just started crying. They were just so blown away that these strangers loved them and did this for them and opened their home and opened their schedule at night for them. So we had a really great conversation with them. Clay ended up on the porch with them later that night talking more about just life and you know there's there's so many I mean I should probably write them all down because there there are so many so I think that if you like continue to show up in a space like that

and make yourself available, really cool things can happen. God, timing is everything. And Clay and I saw that with our relationship. There's been so many moments where I was like, man, where were you at 15 years ago or 10 years ago? But Clay says, neither one of us were ready for this relationship with one another and timing is everything.

So there's just been some really cool moments where we feel like too that that's just like our ministry. I mean, I think you can have a ministry of your life wherever you are, whether it's the grocery store, the doctor's office, with your friends or at church or whatever. Like for us, we feel like connecting with these people is what we're supposed to do. It's like, it's our purpose right now. And so creating, making sure that everything is perfect for those people that come through is just, it's what we do. We love it.

You know, it's crazy how fast the girls are growing right now, especially Haven. 10 months, it is wild how much change happens and how much they grow. I'm constantly getting rid of clothes to fit her better. She's getting so tall. But one thing that we can rely on, you know, from the time they are newborn to their first birthday

is the formula that we chose. A2 Platinum is an amazing formula that nourishes their body from newborn up until their first birthday. A2 Platinum is made from fresh, pure A2 milk, which comes from cows that naturally produce only the A2 protein. It's nutritionally complete with key ingredients

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So here's 25% off. Don't wait, go ahead and order now with the letter A, the number two platinum.com slash woe, W-H-O-A, that's A2Platinum.com slash woe. And you know, it's so cool that you touched on that. It is a ministry. It is y'all's ministry. And hospitality is something that we are called to, I believe, as believers, as a church,

I believe to welcome people in and sit at our table is something really important. And here's the thing about that, because so many of you hearing this might go, oh, one day whenever I have enough money to have an Airbnb, then I'll be hospitable. Or whenever I have a great house or whatever. But that's not what it's about. That's not what the heart of hospitality is. Can you speak to a little bit about that just for those who are listening who are like, okay, what does it look like for hospitality to be in my life when I don't have the resources that I would like to have to bring people in? So yeah, I think back over the years where I would have not had the opportunity to curate a space like this or have the resources to curate a space like this.

And I've thought about it a lot. I remember back in 2019 I wrote a little post on Bayou Longbeard's Instagram page about hospitality and just how like we all can be hospitable. We all can invite people to have a seat at our table. You don't have to have a fancy tablescape or you know be an interior designer which I don't credit myself for but Or be an interior designer, which I don't credit myself for, but I am pretty proud of the spaces that we've created. Or have a lot of money to lavish your guests with things or food or drinks or whatever. But you can just initiate simple invitations. And whether that's like, hey, can we meet for coffee or, you

know, have a group of friends at your house, everybody bring something like you don't, you don't have to have all of these resources to be hospitable. But I think creating small moments where you can love on people and, you know, just be be in a space where conversations can happen with people that can be very meaningful and change people's lives. Just like with your team the other day, we were meeting to talk about Low Sister Conference and then we ended up talking about life. I always love sharing some of my experiences with anybody, but especially younger girls. And it's like if you can prevent people from going through some of the things you went through or help them, you know, come through things that they're going through. I think that, like you said earlier, all of our experiences are

like, they're meaningful because they've shaped us and then they can help other people. And that's what happened a lot of times in HR. Advantage is is that I was able to share my story or encourage people who are going through similar things or hard things, whatever. So you can just initiate those moments in your life wherever you are. You don't have to create an Airbnb to be a host. You can be a host wherever you are. You can be a host in other people's homes in other group settings. You know what, if you have a passion for hospitality, jump up and help. See where you can help. That's why I'm so passionate about. I'm so thankful that you chose to come back home, raise your family here, be with your family,

and then bring the conference here. And so I just, I want the city, you know, I want everybody to get behind you and support you. And that's why I feel passionate about, you know, like what can I do with my gift and my skillset to help this conference be everything it can be, you know? It means so much. And when she said that to me at coffee the other day,

I was like, it makes me tear up because like you even like hosting us and welcoming us back here and then like helping us so much with the conference and everything. Like I think ultimately what it comes down to is this like every single person in the world wants to feel invited and wants to feel welcomed in and wants to feel loved when they're there. Everybody wants to feel invited and wants to feel welcomed in and wants to feel loved when they're there. Everybody wants to feel that way.

And if you're able to give people that feeling of feeling invited and feeling like they have a seat at the table and welcomed in your home or wherever the space is, like you said, you don't even have to be at your house in a room full of people who you know, 90% of people feel awkward being in the room because it's just social awkwardness and intimidation.

Just make that person feel loved and welcome. And that person was already invited. And that goes such a long way. And I think that's being a good host. That is being hospitable. It's making people feel welcome. It's making people feel at home, in a sense of home, no matter where they're at.

And you do that so well, whether I'm literally at your Airbnb or at coffee with you or in a meeting for a conference, like you see that thread throughout your entire life. And I was so excited to have this conversation because I think that, like you said, everyone has a story, everyone has their own set of ministry.

And I love like having people on this couch for sisters and friends that it's different than like the typical interviews that you would hear. It's real life, real stories, what you're doing on a regular basis. Not a normal job because it's different, but having a normal job and from that birthing this really cool thing. I want you to see yourself in joy and understand that wherever you are, no matter your story, God can use it to do significant things, big things, big impact.

She's making impact on every single person's life that steps into her home and a huge impact in my life before I even had a conversation with her just by letting her home be a haven for me. And so it's just amazing what you can do, right, where you're at, if you actually do it for the glory of God. That's why I love that verse, like whatever you do. Do it as if you're working for the Lord and not for man.

And I know you've used your story to help so many people, even with your divorce. Like you told me about talking with several different young women who have stayed in the house, who are walking through that same thing, who are like, can we talk? And so just like making people feel welcome, telling your testimony, it says that the enemy's gonna

be defeated by the blood of the lamb and the power of our testimony. And Jesus shed his blood, now we gotta share a testimony. And you do that so beautifully. Just to put a book into this incredible conversation, you started out by talking about Clay and y'all's relationship. You guys are a power team.

You're a power couple. Y'all are amazing. It kind of shocks me when you say, it's always shocked me when you said you got married in 2018, because I'm like, what? I feel like y'all have been married forever, just because of the dynamic that y'all have. You even said, you're like,

I wish we knew each other 10 years ago or whatever, but the timing is everything, and God makes all things work together for good. When you think about you and Clay and just the redemptive story, what do you wanna share for people right now who have walked through messy things like divorce and hard things?

Like, how have you seen God take something that was hard and work it together for good? Like, how has Clay been a part of that redemption story for you? I love, I love being able to share my story. I think it's important to when you've walked through something like that, like not to place blame to take responsibility for whatever it was that that you might have played a part in or what you learned from it.

And. I think so many times when we walk through those hard times, especially like divorce, you're so broken and you don't feel like worthy of love again, you think you can never love again. Um, and then if you're older and you have children, um, and you have baggage, as a lot of people call it, um, you, no one's going to want to marry you. Like, you know, I just got to a point where Clay's actually my third marriage. And I just got to a point where I was like, I don't want to walk through that again. I don't want my children to go through that again. So

I'm just going to be in control and just say, I'm never going to get married again. Let's just call it that. And as you can see, God has different plans in all of our lives. And so if you can just let go and trust God's plan, I think that beautiful things can happen. And so when I told Clay that I wouldn't get married again, I really didn't think that I would. Like I really, really didn't.

I thought this guy's never gonna get married. I can date, but you know, it's just gonna be very like shallow, I think. And he was already my Christian brother friend. So it was going to be comfortable. And I think that the way that Clay has loved me has helped me realize that even like you said earlier, the things that you go through aren't without meaning and purpose in your life. And I just look at some of the hard things, you know, whether it's the mistakes I made or the things that have happened to me as stepping stones to get to where I am. And

they do, they have shaped me. I mean mean you can ask my friends and family I'm definitely not the same person that I was you know 15 or 20 years ago. And with with Clay coming in and knowing my history, my past, my baggage and deciding like that he chooses to love me. One of the things that I told your girls the other day at coffee was I'm a very emotional person. If you know me, I'm super sensitive. I'll cry at the drop of a hat. And, and have been like even chastised for that in the past in some of my relationships, like you, you cry so much or you're so sensitive or whatever. And when someone beats you down in an area of your life like that, it's like a part of who I am.

Like I feel like God made me an emotional person, you know? But what I didn't realize is that I think even like emotionally I wasn't super stable because of some of the things that I'd gone through. So I remember telling Clay, like, early on in our dating relationship, when he would leave for tours, or when he would come to Monroe and see me and then leave, I would cry.

I would just be like a 15-year-old girl who missed her boyfriend, you know? And there was this one time where I walked in and Clay had like 12 or 15 handkerchiefs laying out on the table. And I was just like, what is this? And he said, I just want you to know that like, if you need to cry, I'm going to always have a handkerchief for you. Like it's okay to cry.

It's okay to be sensitive, be emotional. And I'll try not to cry right now. But just him like embracing that part of me and loving me, it's actually made me more emotionally stable. And it got to where I didn't cry as much when he would leave and he was like, are you still going to miss me? Like, you know, you don't cry like you used to and I just feel stronger, but I'm just so thankful that he like embraced that part of me.

And there's so many different things that I could tell you about him, the way that he loves me. I've never been loved that way and are this way. And I feel like that he is for sure my redemption story. And I think that a lot of women go through divorces and think that they can't be loved again or love again. And you can, you know, I spent about a year in between my second divorce and dating Clay before, like, I really just spent that whole year focusing on being healthy and independent

and just being a mom. And I think sometimes when you focus on that instead of like, you know, where's the next person, you know, I mean, even when we started dating, I think when you're younger, you date, you date people like with the intention of, you know, I'll marry them. And if if I'm not going to marry them, then I'm not going to date them. You know, I mean, we even get taught that in church, like, don't date somebody that you wouldn't marry.

But as a 40 year old, like. I wasn't really thinking like that in church, don't date somebody that you wouldn't marry. But as a 40 year old, I wasn't really thinking like that. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't nonchalantly dating, but if I wanted to go on a date with somebody, that's fine, I'm not thinking about marrying them. It's more of just a companionship or just having somebody to go to dinner with or do this or that with.

And so it's very different when you're older and you're dating. But I think if you focus on getting yourself healthy after something really hard like that, you'd be surprised at really what God can do in your life and who He can bring into your life. And for me, it was Clay Casey, and I'm just so thankful because he has enhanced my life a million times over. He's really special. If you don't know him, you should know him.

So sweet. I love y'all so much. Y'all are the best. And that's the most beautiful story, truly. I said to the girls listening to this, and guys, that if you're listening to this, I hope you see yourself in joy. I see myself in you in so many different ways.

I was thinking about I had been in a relationship before where I literally cried every day. It was a not very healthy relationship. That person would always say, you're so sensitive. You cry so much. You know all this stuff. It was a bad thing. What's funny is after that, then I went opposite. I'm like, I'm not gonna cry, you know?

I'm just gonna be like a stone wall. So then I didn't cry for a long time. And then when I met Christian, he was sensitive. Like he would cry at like sweet things and like sweet things. Like he had a sweet emotion about him. And his mom does too. His mom is like the sweetest, like if she will cry with you, like she is the person who will like cry with you,

hug you, hold you, do the whole thing. Like she will always shed a tear with you. And I just saw the beauty that they had surrounding like emotion and Christian started to teach me that tears are such a good thing and they're so healing. And that the Bible even talks about tears, that God, that he knows the tears that fall from me, your eyes.

And I just remember being like, wow, that is so beautiful. And then it's so cool because I began to like cry out of like sweet things, like sweet things make me cry. Like I cry during worship all the time. I cry, I literally always cry, this is so funny, championship games, like when someone wins, I always cry. I'm so happy for them. I don't even have anyone that I know playing this game,

but I'm crying with you. And it's like, I love it because it's brought so much redemption to emotion in my life that I cry in appropriate times now. I cry when things are sweet and things are happy, and then I cry whenever tears are meant to be shed. Christian's invited me into that, like the healthy side of emotion.

And it's just really, really beautiful. And yeah, and I don't cry over the things that I used to be sensitive, like the negative things. I don't even feel the need to cry over that. I mean, we don't even need- You realize now that it was because of like- It was because of the situation I was in. I was like, it's ironic that the person telling me

I cry all the time is the one that's making me cry all the time. And now I'm in this healthy place. And I'm like, I'm not an emotional person. That's actually not who I am. That's who I'd become based from that relationship. That's not really who I am. And then I got healthy as a person, met Christian, and he taught me even more the beauty of that.

And so when I heard the handkerchief story, I was like, oh my gosh, you have to tell that story because these are just two women who experienced a very similar thing and I would not doubt that many of you listening to this podcast, probably the same. And maybe this is the first time you're hearing some of the beautiful and redemptive side of it

and maybe that's something you haven't walked into yet. But let me tell you this friend, you don't have to meet the man you're gonna marry to find that redemption story, and you don't have to get the job that you're gonna have to find that redemption story. That redemption story starts with Jesus and the relationship that we have with him.

And really, only Jesus can truly heal you in the way that you're longing to be healed. And then from that place, man, there's so much blessing to come, and he has so much that he's gonna unfold those Easter eggs that you're gonna get to come upon in your life. But first start with that relationship with him. And from the overflow of that, man,

the fruits, the spirit, the love, the joy, the peace, even the hospitality that will flow out of your life will be so rewarding. And so thank you, Joy, for being on this podcast. Thank you guys for listening and we will talk next time.