Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 55: Two Pints & A Missing Romesh

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

As Rom’s in Aukland on the New Zealand leg of his Antipodean tour, he joins Tom at home in his kitchen via the wonders of technology, for a globe-spanning edition of the podcast. And this week we’...re talking… a two-pint drunk Romesh, getting people’s names wrong, oversleeping, missing the pod recording, the sitting or standing debate, Tom on potty training duties, getting homesick, an update on how the tour’s been going, music choices for our Christmas show, uncannily Trumpy hand gestures, the highs and lows of corporate gigs and what a sweet sweet soul Joel Dommett is. For questions or comments, please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: HELLO@KEEPITLIGHTMEDIA.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast a body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a...
Starting point is 00:00:35 Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about you grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog Hello And welcome once again to a Worldwide night. What's the word? I'm looking for? This is this is this is a mad thing because this one right? This is inside. This is literally on either side of the world. Hmm, and you know the craziness of it wrong Hmm, if someone had told
Starting point is 00:01:06 our forefathers this, that we'd be having a conversation like, like, sort of like a tea like satellite like this, yeah, people would have called you crazy, bro. Yeah, they would have done. They would have done. Yeah. And look at us now. You're in your dad is by the way, a very canny suite. That's a nice looking you've been upgraded. Nice Um, yes. All right. In New Zealand during that, right? You're, you're I could, I mean, I'm in Auckland. Yeah. I'm in Auckland. Let's just get this out of the way quickly. All right. Okay. Because should we talk about what happened earlier today for me last night? So yeah, you dropped a clanger. Yeah. So,
Starting point is 00:01:42 so what happened was you and I read a chat and you were like Let's do the podcast 8 a.m. My time I said I said it you text me. I said bro. Can you do a aim tomorrow morning? I was like, of course I can get up early on a Sunday. I do anything for this podcast. Well This is we always do a dayam Sunday, so let's stop. Yeah, so I'm trying to make it, by the way, at 8pm for me, so right smack bang in the middle of dinnertime.
Starting point is 00:02:10 So I'm telling- Who's, is it, oh you're in New Zealand, you're not in Australia. Yeah, so I've not been drinking, right? I've not got a great, I'm thinking about, I'm probably gonna knock it on the head to be honest with you. I haven't been drinking very much till. So we walk around Auckland, go into this bar and, um,
Starting point is 00:02:29 Martin goes, let's just have a beer. Right. So we have like one beer, me, Graz and Martin. I can tell you now, I bet those beers in Auckland are ice cold, baby. I bet they are nice and cold. Yeah. I mean, look, I wouldn't say the temperature was something I it wasn't so different I'd comment on it as we felt like the killer can I just ask
Starting point is 00:02:49 you can I ask you when you said that first sit did you go no I know because I do want Martin and Graz's sort of still like me so I didn't do that. Oh that's crisp, that's crisp as hell. Yeah anyway. That's crisp as heck. Yeah yeah okay so we had a couple of beers and I think because of, you're all right there, elbow slipped off your knee didn't it? Yeah no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I've usually got a little thing that I can lean on when I'm listening to but I've had to put a box I've usually got a little thing that I can lean on when I'm listening to you, but I've had to put a box. Yeah, because we're recording at Tamiya, I'm in the kitchen. It's very dark because Grace is sleeping.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Anyway, this is another story. Grace is sleeping all over the place. Anyway, I digress. Hit me, hit me, hit me. So anyway, I have a couple of beers and immediately sort of beer rom comes out. The two guys that I met there, who were like two young farmers from Britain who were over in New Zealand, they're about to go to Disney.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. So you've got more companies that scratch you, mine, and- No, no, they're not with us. They just happened to have been in the bar and like came over to say hello, right? And now by this time you're twisted, you're drunk, you're okay. Well, yeah, yeah. I love this story.
Starting point is 00:04:02 I love, this is worth recording it late. So then, a guy called George, who was the sound tech on the Kevin Bridges tour I did and now moved over to New Zealand, he came to the bar as well, right? So what coincidentally? No, no, no, he graps him up, right? So we're at this bar. I've had a couple of beers. You're five handed now, by the way. You're five handed. No, but've had a couple of beers. You're five handed down by the way.
Starting point is 00:04:25 You're five handed. No, but these guys, the other guys are. No, you're six handed. No, no. Okay. These guys aren't with us. Also the other thing, just for clarity, everybody at the table has two hands.
Starting point is 00:04:34 So, so anyway, so. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do this. What? You know what it means. When you, in a mob of people, you call like each person. So yeah, me, it says me, you, Graz, Kevin, Dennis, we all go out, right?
Starting point is 00:04:51 We're five handed. Why is that? Why is that a thing? It's what we say. It's a South London term. Or East London, I don't know, it's a London term. How many have, yeah. Oh, we were out there, but we're about 10 handed.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Well, it's not a lot. You don't count everyone's, you're 20 handed. How many of you 10? Oh, we were out there, we were about 10-handed. We don't count everyone's, you know, 20-handed. How many of you? 10, because we count everyone twice, because we've got two, you know, it's... Listen, it's not made its way to Crawley yet, okay? So, I guess... We'll do probably in about 2085. Yeah, something like that.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Thankfully, we'll be long gone, although there will still be episodes of this dogshit floating around the internet somewhere. Anyway, so... He anyway, so he called it He called it. They called it so I am The first time I realized I was drunk is when I confidently said to George This guy I've just met this guy George you got to meet him. He's a great guy This is Josh, and he goes I don't go Josh
Starting point is 00:05:43 This is George, and he goes Joe and then I went no No, but not white. So I then go No, it's George and he goes no Joe and I go no his name's George and he goes no my name's Joe and then I went This is this is so embarrassing Question yeah, can I ask you question? Oh, did you have your arm around either of them? It's no what I would say Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Did you have your arm around either of them at this time? No, what I would say is... Come on, come on, come on.
Starting point is 00:06:09 How could you introduce someone without an arm around? Right, listen, I might have had my hand on Jo's back, alright? Sharpie the fucking two-parts, how you doing mate? You alright? No, no. This is my mate, mate. He's from Blyth. No, no, from Bridges. He did the Bridges stuff. Shush, shush, shush.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Don't worry about your name, mate. That's inadequate. Nah, serious. This keeps him going a long way back, mate. Absolutely charged on Superstition Blago. Absolutely dug myself in, right? Oh, hold up, hold up, hold up. That's the streets, mate.
Starting point is 00:06:44 They're playing the streets. Don't you know? When I was a kid, this is a big issue. They want to pull you yeah Oh my gosh, you're really fit. You're fit, but my goodness don't you know, it's proper English I'm surprised that you know, I've got that Give me some up a bit. Hey, mate, I think you've had enough. I think two's enough for your big fella, mate. God, anyway. He's up there, fella.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So we've been at the bar for like... Take you down a notch. We've been at the bar for like... Christ, how many beers has he had? He said, just the two pints. God, that's so bad. So we're there for about two, maybe an hour and a half two hours maybe I had three points I can't remember anyway the point is that's
Starting point is 00:07:30 there anyway we walked back to the hotel you know just feeling good and I walk into my room and I sit down on my bed for a little bit nothing you dancing better than was it no no Do you know what, Tom? I did, there was a bit of a bop to it. I mean, I was a bit, anyway, Oh, love this. We get back to the hotel. I come into the room and I sit down on the bed for a bit
Starting point is 00:07:58 and just have a look at my phone. And Graz Martin and I have arranged to meet up a couple of hours later for dinner and I said to him I'm gonna have dinner early so I can do the pod with Tom. Anyway, I sort of closed my eyes for a second, opened them and it's half past ten at night and I wake up to a series of texts from you sat at your laptop ready for the podcast to start. Wake up to serious. Yeah, I had been sat on my laptop by this point. It was two hours later.
Starting point is 00:08:29 No, listen, it would be desperation even beyond Tom Davis's levels to be sat on the laptop for two hours. You've got you've got you've got to get the podcast done. So fingers crossed you're done. You take great swimming. Don't worry about my weekend. I'll just say he'll be here. He'll be here. He's your legend, don't worry about my weekend. I'll just sit here, he'll be here, he'll be here, he's your legend, the geisha.
Starting point is 00:08:47 I can't imagine he's just had three parts and he's just fucking KO'd, mate. Graps is texting, asking when we're going for dinner. Both Martin and I have tapped out. Martin's gone missing as well. How many points did Martin hit? Same as me. So anyway, apologies, I guess is what I'm saying. This is the same. Let me just say a number one. I was very worried about you. Yeah, right
Starting point is 00:09:12 Because at this point, you know in you because you are I will say this it's very seldom. It's pretty only happened Twice thrice before the end of so much has happened with either of us Right and I it's happened with me and you so I was worried usually you are very I'd say you are you know your tech messages aren't always like like abundantly sort of like word for but you know you do often you will text back with that yeah or no or whatever so I was worried I was like oh my my god, I hope he's okay. So I would say worry that Katherine was he is a grown man and He's been a lot more dead. I was we were going for a walk with grace and I was like
Starting point is 00:09:53 I hope Romesh is okay and gracious like I think we get to a point where grace will start sort of Asking why you are so worried about your friends Just sitting in Gaels over the course I'm going oh no for me yeah yeah yeah I will say this as well by the way I will say this it's this so this is slightly my fault so this is why I'm not gonna go too hard on you. How is it your fault? Because we're meant to be in the studio on the Monday before you left yeah right we're gonna go in the studio and we're gonna record three episodes. Yes. In the studio. We couldn't do that because something else
Starting point is 00:10:30 came up on my part and you were very gracious in letting me go and turn around saying let you got to do what you gotta do. So in that part that's why I can't blame you because we'd have had three recorded so I'm gonna be think about it I want to take this on me. No but it it was my fault. It was my fault I woke up listen. Listen, yeah, the main thing is you know what? We can sit here we can throw blame you can throw mud the best thing in the world is it's I'm sitting here just staring at a guy that absolutely adoring love who is full of stories of world travel and Yeah, I did you know in a way, you know, like I'm living my life a little bit through it Do you want my weekend has been potty you know, like, I'm living my life a little bit through it.
Starting point is 00:11:05 My weekend has been potty training. That's what I'm doing right now. It's been potty training. It's insane. And does Grace think you're making progress? Yes, yeah, I've only shat myself three times this weekend. I was listening to the What's Up Set You Now podcast, Sean Walsh and Paul McCaffrey, right?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is an old episode of that and they were talking about Wiping your ass I'm sure we've talked about this before but let me just get clarification. Do you stand or sit? I'm mixed up if I'm honest, right? So did like I'm hoping no one's eating or doing anything. Just my sit-downing or sitting will be down to the texture of what I've done.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Oh my God. Oh my God. No, but it's- Oh my God. I don't wanna get to it, no, but- Why the fuck did you say that out loud? What the fuck? That'll be discussed.
Starting point is 00:12:02 No, I'm just gonna say that sometimes in a situation like, sometimes you're doing gartham, sometimes you need a shovel, sometimes you need a piece of wood. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's down to the landscape in which you're working. Okay, fuck me. Fucking hell, it's eight o'clock in the morning here. I'm supposed to be having breakfast after this. No, but you know what I'm saying. Look, how can you...
Starting point is 00:12:26 I know what you're saying. Yeah, that's the problem. I do know what you're saying. I don't want to fucking hear it. It's disgusting. I'm an honest guy. I'm not going to fuck about these people. They listen. They show some faith in us. We can't just go, oh yeah, I was sick. That'd be disingenuous. That's not the guy I want to be. All right, fine. Anyway, the point is, is that I had no idea how divisive it was because Eddie Brimson was on there, he sits, McCaffrey stands which is fine. McCaffrey's a stander all day long. Yeah I struggle with Short. He's actually announced that he's switched. What he's not to standing? No he's gone from standing to sitting. Right. Anyway so last night I wake up at 11
Starting point is 00:13:06 1030 11 o'clock. I'm sorry. I've interrupted your story. You were talking about potty training gone carry on. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. But no, look, if I'm honest with you, potty training has meant it's almost like we're with sort of we've just we've had to stay indoors for nearly the whole week. We have a coffee and you're constantly turning around to grace go to you need a way you need away. And we haven't fed in do you need a poo? so about 10 o'clock this morning, she did a poo in her knickers and
Starting point is 00:13:31 How come you hadn't fed in? We've been so conscious and she's been great with it to go for using a party for way. I would say she's been amazing Yeah, absolutely. I mean it's insane to say how proud I am of her. But it's up there with watching the England team this summer. Like, you know, her using a pot here every time I'm literally, I've got tears in my eyes. Yeah. It's it's an amazing thing to see. Do you think that's something she needs to see? You know, what's that? Well, what I'm saying is, is like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Now it's now it's not as good. Now she's done it over the weekend. She's done it eight times, nine times. The first two times I'm like like, look, now it's not as good. Now she's done it over the weekend. She's done it eight times, nine times. The first two times, I'm like, wow. Oh my God. And then I just had to sort of like, just walk away, just sort of, you know. Because you're worried that she wasn't going to get it.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Is that what you're saying? No, no, more that you've got to be very careful because you can't just go good girl, good girl, like it's a dog. No, but what's better is, yeah, now what you've've got to do is you got a clever girl and then start crying It's an emotional thing. Yeah development man. No, also by the way, she's she's picking up on any word, right? Like this is genuine. This is genuine like today. What did she do? Did she hear cat? Does she hear Catherine say tragic? No, she had Catherine go. I'm a good get a life
Starting point is 00:14:43 also Catherine say tragic no she had Catherine go I'm a good get a life also she announced in this morning We were putting good girls. She's a fellow the girls croissants And she as we were walking as me Katherine were joking. Yeah She turned my rum mesh rum mesh missing rum mesh mesh missing And quite a few people in the queue look quite. Yeah mesh missing and quite a few people in the queue look quite, yeah, worried. Well, I had, my embarrassment went further on to be honest with you because I then,
Starting point is 00:15:10 Oh wow. I felt so, You didn't wake up then or? No, no, no, but I felt so bad about what had happened and I felt so bad that I'd not got in touch with Graz and I'd missed the podcast. I phoned Lisa. Oh God. Right, and I did, it's so fucking, this is so classic. Can I say, this is you to a T as well, you phoned Lisa. Right. And I did. So fucking this is so classic. Can I say this is this is you
Starting point is 00:15:27 to a T as well you phone Lisa and it's not Hey babe, it's me. Yeah. Auckland's been kind to me fucking three beers in had a great met some fucking outlandish dudes in Auckland. It's like you're like, Oh, I went on a mission list off in fell asleep a bit after a couple of them. I would say in both those scenarios I sound like a c***. But... So I phoned Lisa, you're pretty close to the truth, I phoned Lisa and I go oh my god Lisa I've had an absolute shocker. I said I've had a nightmare and she goes what?
Starting point is 00:16:16 And then I told her and she went I could just hear in her voice she went okay so it's not really an emergency is it Ron? And what do you mean? She goes, did you say that? I went, oh my God, oh my God, Lisa, you're not going to believe what I've done. You're not going to believe what I've done. So she's thinking Rom's killed someone in Auckland. Do you know what I mean? He sort of stood over a wall, just going, what do I do?
Starting point is 00:16:37 And then it turns out that I've just had a couple of beers and fallen asleep for too long. And to be fair, when you text me, your texts, let me say in these six scenarios, you text me and you went, bro, bro, I've had a fucking nightmare. To which I went, when I read that, I was like, oh my God, what's happened here? Is he OK? Right. And then you call me from, and you seldom phone people. You are very much a voice note or text guy. You call me from and you seldom phone people. You are very much a voice, not a text guy.
Starting point is 00:17:06 You call me from New Zealand. Yes. And this is no joke. It was, I went, fucking, what was she calling? And Catherine went, well, answer it. It must be important, it's from New Zealand. So when I went back in and she went, is he okay, is he all right?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Because obviously all she knows is you've gone, brother had a fucking nightmare. Is it, oh no, you fell asleep after a few beers and she was like, it's hardly a nightmare. It's a bit sad if anything. Did Catherine say that? Yeah, he was talking along those lines. People on the next table laughed.
Starting point is 00:17:36 I felt guilty, okay? Yeah, I know you do. I woke up and had a bit of a luck song. Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate. Your guilt and your sweetness, I was there to listen to it. If I wanted to be here, I was not underplaying your nightmare. I know how you feel,
Starting point is 00:17:51 because you're a very decent human being. Yeah. Oh, God. This is bad. This is why I can't drink. You're gonna have to, also by the way, I wouldn't be quitting drinking on the basis if you had three pints in Auckland. Well it's not the best story, it's not the best story is it? I can imagine it. You can't rock up to AA. Can you tell your story? Hi, I'm Ramesh Ranganathan, 46 years old and I'm no longer drinking. Okay, what happened?
Starting point is 00:18:29 What happened, bro? What happened? I'm a guy by the way, called Mark Valence. Hey, man, Mark Valence. I've been here for 12 years. 12 years clean, man. What happened? Well, you know, I was out in New Zealand. Great place, man. They shot all the lawsords that have reached me this day, right? Yeah, yeah that's right. God, do we know each other? Because what a way to connect with me. Absolutely hit the nail on the head there. Yeah, no, no, no man. I love that Peter Jackson, he's done some good shit.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Yeah, so anyway, I hadn't been drinking for a little bit and, uh, we went to a bar in Auckland. Um, this is going, yeah. Prostitutes. No, no. Um, no, no. Um, I had a beer and, um, that led to another and another missing, you know, your 25 points in well, actually face down in a gutter and you've, yeah, you know, you've kissed your best friend. Well, uh, well actually one point did lead to another and then that led to another and then we left. Okay. Okay. I get it. You've had like how many at this point three. Oh, wow. So you went on to another bar another part another part another bar before you know it It's five o'clock three days later, and you don't even know your name anymore. No that it no I didn't quite go down like it's
Starting point is 00:19:53 well, we went back to the hotel and And that's where you You decided to call in an eight ball of cocaine No, I think it's really I think think it's, can I just say mine? I think it's probably best that I finished. I just finished the, I finished. Is your name Martin or whatever? Yeah, I can't remember either now.
Starting point is 00:20:14 That's what I mean, man. It's not important. Just call me Val. Okay. Well, look, Val. All right. Listen, guys, let this guy take the floor because I think the story was going to educate us all.
Starting point is 00:20:22 This guy's got some demons in him. Okay. Well, I had sort of, uh, that if you don't mind me saying the way you sort of constantly sort of reminds me of a friend of mine from back home, actually. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What's his name? Huh? What's his name? Tom Davis. Oh shit, man. What? The guy from Wonka. He's wonka. Yeah. He's a cool guy. You know, you know, yeah, you know. Yeah, I did. I mean, I did pull costs. Cool, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, you do a podcast. Yeah. Oh, sick. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:20:52 it's actually this is probably the first bit of promo I've done for actually. But anyway, okay, man. Okay, everybody. Quiet. Okay. Yeah, please. Yeah, everyone. By the by the way, I'm Kevin Just wanted to see if anyone wanted a cup of tea before Ramesh finishes his story. Well, it's not Quite a while. Yeah, it's not actually that long a story. It would have been done had Valtorff Not insisted on it Kevin Kevin Kevin children give this guy a moment. He's about to break our minds
Starting point is 00:21:24 Go on brother. Okay, well, we went back to the hotel and we arranged to meet a couple of hours later and then I was just sort of have dinner and then do the podcast with Tom, who was back in the UK. Tom Davis, yeah? Tom Davis, so it would have been eight o'clock this time. So I'd arranged with him and I knew that he was gonna get up
Starting point is 00:21:43 and get set up on his Sunday morning to do the podcast. Anyway so I just sort of sat on my bed when I got in and then, well look, next thing I know it was 10.30 at night, I'd fallen asleep. Missed the podcast, missed dinner, sort of had a bit of a panic and I think it was around the time when, um, I think it's probably around the time when I was then did the podcast the next day, uh, and Tom explained to me on the podcast that even his own wife, who I consider a friend had lost respect for me that, uh, I sort of realized maybe this is time to just sort of walk away from it you know. And is that when you started you stopped
Starting point is 00:22:28 drinking? Yeah yeah. Can we get Ramesh a cup of tea he's just that was maybe one of the lamest stories we've ever heard but we treat everyone here with respect. Man that's nice bro it's quite nice in a way to see you open up like that. Yeah yeah actually. I'm told again now. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah your character work is masterful but I'd figured out that you were you're back as Tom I actually felt quite good sharing it like that you know yeah it's nice yeah it's quite actually by the way those meetings gonna be amazing so can I just ask a question sorry were you out at dinner sorry you were in Gaels when I called and you left
Starting point is 00:23:07 We're having breakfast I ran out of girls It's quite cold and wet over here by the way to take the call It was like, you know You know like in the Suprinos when they take a really like Tony has to find like a sort of like public phone to sort of Make a call to sort of one of his mafia colleagues Yeah, I sort of had to run out and look for sort of some shelter because I didn't want to take the call in gales because obviously I had no idea what had happened. Yeah so I sprint out into the rain. I didn't even take my jacket. I'm in a t-shirt with this boat. All right yeah I mean I was like and lots of people are going fucking ice dramatic.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Yeah. I came back in I was a bit wet and I was like you know that man. Yeah yeah well I do feel worse ah man. Yeah. Yeah, well I do feel worse for it. Yeah. What's the best thing about being a vegan? Weather's good out there, I'm assuming. You know, we've got, we've got fun. Actually, one thing, text Lisa, because there's thunderstorms coming in, mate.
Starting point is 00:23:56 This is how homesick I am. I asked Lisa to send me a picture of their race dinner. Wow. It must be, well, I don't know, but they haven't got to do a vegan option, I guess. No. With you not there. No, that's true.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Just made Lisa's life a little bit easier. Yeah, I mean, she was in the photo and she looked absolutely delighted, so I don't know, I guess that's a sign. How is Lisa getting on with that? How often do you call her home? Twice a day? Tom, it's getting to the point now where I think Lisa's starting to get fed up of hearing from me. Do you mean? I'm calling a lot and also
Starting point is 00:24:31 Maybe four times a day. Okay, that's nice. That's cute. Yeah, but also with nothing to report Because I keep wait, basically the jet lag is doing me in and I keep waking up at 2 o'clock in the morning Well, I mean this is this is proper jet set of life. You essentially at the moment, you're living like Aerosmith or some shit like that. You're literally like another town, like literally every day is a different town, a different country. It's pretty sick, man. I would love to sort of look into the science of what it is that made your brain pull Aerosmith out as the reference.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I find it I find it absolutely incredible. Like all of the things, like Jetsetter, so your brain's gone, I've got to look for like, a music act sort of tour all the time, they go all over the world. What's my go-to? And you said Aerosmith. What the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:25:23 How is that your thing? There are big successful bad dogs. Just like that. If I think of you as a bad Aerosmith comes to mind. Do you know what? Can I tell you what I sort of I sort of had a semi guess at why I said that I thought well you love your daughter very much. Yeah, Aerosmith did that song Don't Want To Miss A Thing which is about his daughter. One of the best. And then I thought maybe. who's by the way Liv Tyler. Yes, absolutely right
Starting point is 00:25:48 So I was wondering if maybe what you did was you watched grace or successfully do a wee on the potty Yeah, then it got emotional went into another room and then sort of grace What what song what song is daddy listening? Why does dad listening to that song and crying? Oh, it's just, you know, dad feels a special connection with that song. If I'm on a spot, it's because uncle Vomit is missing. Yeah, but yeah, kid, here it is. Anyway, I'm really sorry, man. I'm really sorry. So how is the how's the rest of the tour going? Listen, listen, that this this chat potatoes and so you done with Australia now? No, go back. No, go back. So I've done I've done three nights in
Starting point is 00:26:37 Australia did Melbourne. Then I did Brisbane, which is very nice. Some of the family can't have a family in Brisbane. So they came to the show is very nice to hook up with them. Then I did Canberra. I've heard rumors of Canberra being amazing. Canberra was great. Yeah. It's a lot quieter than Sydney and Melbourne, but the crowd, it's got a vibe to it. Right. Yeah. The crowds were unbelievable. Unbelievable. Like it was great man. Canberra is the one. yeah, I love the thought of Canberra. Actually, in Brisbane, somebody heckled me with you. So I was in the middle of a story and then somebody went,
Starting point is 00:27:15 was it Tom? And I went, what? Was it Tom? I was like, holy shit. It's a bit of a surreal experience to be in Brisbane. Can I just say which bit of the show, by the way? Is it the bit that everyone thinks is the... No. Are you still doing a bit about the eating? Yes, but that's not the bit. Can I say it when it was? That's usually the bit. Can I say that's the bit I've probably been
Starting point is 00:27:35 messaged most about your tour show, which you've sold hundreds of thousands of tickets and I've probably had a good few thousand people message me going, oh, do you know, Rob, I'm doing a bit about you eating. Yeah. And that's actually about me. It's actually a bit, you won't like it. I mean, I don't know what made her say at this point, but it's about me talking about receiving a racist tweet.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Um, so. Imagine if that was me, not think you're going to get caught. Just like from my own ex account. And I think it was just after he called me packing that we decided to do a podcast together. Oh, man, that's a little the fucking people of Brisbane think about me. Was it some? And then so then then I flew out to
Starting point is 00:28:19 flew to Auckland yesterday. No, day before we had a day off yesterday. But New Zealand is a beautiful. I saw Martin Teas. No, the day before, when we had a day off yesterday. But- New Zealand is beautiful. I saw Martin Two Smoothes, him landing. Yeah. And he did a lovely, looks beautiful, man.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Yeah, it is really nice. What was really weird, it's so surreal, man. I walked into this bar, the bar that we walked to, the bar where the carnage happened. Wow, this bar's like incredible. Yeah, and I walked past this massive group of lads who I think are on a stag deal or birthday party or something. And then as I walked past, one of them goes, Romesh.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And I turn around, and they all go, fucking hell, fucking hell. It's Romesh. And start losing their shit. Wow. Right? Fucking hell. One of them comes over and start losing their shit. Wow. Right? Fucking hell. One of them comes over to me, this guy called Shiv.
Starting point is 00:29:08 That's a cool name by the way. I'd like to be his friend. That's a cool fuck off name. He shows me the WhatsApp group for the chat for the day that they're actually out on. Yeah. And one of their bits of banner is that one of him in the group looks just like me and he just shows me the Whatsapp and there's loads of photos of me running through the Whatsapp chat where they've just said I can't imagine it was positive. But anyway like you don't go oh you're really handsome like
Starting point is 00:29:36 that guy Ramesh, you know I can't imagine that's how it went. Anyway they just said it was something, imagine that experience that you're talking about this British comedian that one of your mates looks like and then he fucking walks into the bar for that But are we can you imagine that guy who looked like you then looking over like 15 minutes later? So you absolutely smashed on to put on eyes just going cheese The thing was is by the time we left they'd gone Right, and I imagine they just he just looked across and he went, Oh, my god. Oh, man, he is tragic. Look at that guy. Is that is that is that the fucking guy that you're comparing me to? Oh, god, I've got a guy, man. And you know,
Starting point is 00:30:13 actually, let's just let's just knock this on the head. You know, I'm not even getting married anymore. I don't think I'm done. I'm really if that's the guy just fighting his wife in tears. I'm a fucking loser. I'm a. I'm really, if that's a guy just spouting his wife in tears, just going, I'm a fucking loser. I'm a fucking loser. You in the background like we are saying, I just Josh, come back, Josh. It's fucking Joe, mate. Anyway, they were nice lads.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Hopefully they were trying to sort of tickets for the show. But what's the tonight? Yeah. Yeah. So how much longer you got there another week after this i've got another two weeks bro what i'm i'm in new zealand for another three nights then i go to adelaide i mean adelaide for two nights then i'm in sydney for three nights and then that doesn't add up to four i'm doing perth as well anyway i've got another got another two weeks, just under two weeks. Wow, G. I know. I know. Wow, man. And then you go to Dubai. Yeah, it's an amazing thing, man. And like, I hope you do it at some point. I think you could easily like do some international. Can we just repeat? Let me just try and sell some tickets in the UK. No, no, no, but based on what, you know, there's so many Wolf and Al fans out here, I think.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And also fucking Wonka, mate. Do you know what I mean? You're in Wonka. Yeah, but yeah. Look, it's one thing, like, going to fucking Dublin and realising you've only sold a handful of tickets. It's a big old fucking, it's a big old shitball in your mouth yeah sitting on the other side of the world having to text flow going hey it's amazing
Starting point is 00:31:48 i can't believe i'm in auckland um how so so we've got eight people coming this evening yeah we chopped tom it's uh fly listen we just decided it'd probably be easy if you just go downstairs and do the gig in the hotel just in reception right so yeah yeah sorry um robin obviously was saying that you could sell loads of tickets. There's not enough money to fly you and Gratz back from Auckland to England on the money you've earned. So you're both going to have to get proper jobs while you're out there. Just to hear about Tom and Gratz working the farm in Auckland for a couple of months. Yeah, they've got to get a full coming back.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Basically Gratz end up as extras on the New Lord of the Rings. So the point I was trying to make was, I love doing the shows out here, but as I get older, my homesickness gets, it just gets worse and worse. That's what I worry about. Because, let me say, by the way, Australians, New Zealanders, absolutely epic, right?
Starting point is 00:32:38 They're incredible. I can't even imagine what the crowds are like. Genuinely speaking. The crowds are, genuinely, every show so far, I've walked off going, you know, I don't, I'm not, I've just walked off going, I know this sounds wanky, I can't, I can't believe, I can't believe I get to do this, do you know what I mean? It's like what an amazing fucking thing. What an amazing thing, man. And like, they're just so up for it and you sort of go like that, they're just so up for it and you sort of go like that. You know, I always get a bit wary of being too earnest,
Starting point is 00:33:08 but the truth of it is, is like being this far away from home and having crowds sort of responding to shows the way they do, it's an amazing, like I feel so lucky, man. It's an amazing thing. It really is. So thank you to everyone that's come out so far.
Starting point is 00:33:21 It's been, it's been unbelievable. And also, can I also take this opportunity, segue, God, I'm a good presenter. Thank you to everyone that's bought tickets for the Christmas fun night of fun festivities and fun. Because I think we sold out. Sold out very quickly. Yeah, we all sold out.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Sort of maybe you should have thought. I was slightly confused about it because the WhatsApp was like, it sold out. And then about two seconds I was like let's do another post because there's more seats being found I was like five seats at the back Managing our mental expectations of this show. Yeah, but Just tell him it's sold out ten seats at a time and then we
Starting point is 00:33:58 Put the post up before I realized that actually I had sold out and then I've got quite a lot of sort of yeah I think it's I'm genuinely looking forward to this. It's gonna be a bang overnight. It's a bigger show yet Right the way that we're gonna do it is different. We're we're ramping things up a bit Well, my my into smooth very actually this gives me an opportunity to ask you on the public. This is very exciting by the way Too smooth. Obviously you've done lots of performances with you. I've just done the one. Yeah, Martin is, yeah, he loves you and he wants to know what sort of music you want. Because obviously normally it's just hip-hop when he does it with me. I want to mix it up. I want a little bit of a Christmas vibe. I've got a song. I want to get a little Christmas vibes. I'll chat with, some little Christmas vibes. I'll chat with, I like some big little big bangers as well in the room. Yeah, some ballad, ballad-y bangers.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Okay. I mean, you've used, you've gone all over the fucking place there, but I'll leave that for you to discuss with Martin. I'm very eclectic when it comes to my music. Yeah, I'm not gonna go, yeah, but you can't be eclectic in one sentence describing the same song But He wants some Christmasy ballad II big bangers can you can you get on that place Little bit more I care. It would be nice. Yeah Christmas song do you think? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:35:28 What's your favourite? Fairytale of New York. Oh, you know what would be amazing? If me and you sang Fairytale of New York. No, thank you. Oh, man, that'd be amazing. No, thank you. No, thank you.
Starting point is 00:35:37 No, let me just, let me just, let me just. You are at Sheba Galen right now, the way you're living your life. You are at Sheba Gowron right now, the way you're living your life. It was Christmas Eve in Auckland. I went to a dive bar and had three pints. What? Three pints? Thank you so much, for the support tickets. I did a corporate the other day and this is, I think I talked about this on your Radio 2 show,
Starting point is 00:36:18 but it's something I'm really worried about. So I've done another one subsequently since. When I'm reading from like on a lector from... You know when they have it up in the glass in front of you is oh yeah from a lot of you right I am starting to do this and gesturing with my hands a lot because usually I've got a mic in my hands as you know right although it would be one idea for comics all of a sudden I'm feeling my hands I don't know what to do them so I'm starting to gesture with my hands as I'm reading and it's very very worried it's very Trump-esque. Tom we are honestly cut from the same cloth man. The other day I put a clip up of me on this Australian show the Cheap Seats and it was like I think I just got
Starting point is 00:36:58 off the plane that morning so I was a bit spun out but I I watched a clip of the thing and like they sent me a few clips. I'm fucking doing this. I'm like, my hands man are so Trumpy. But I don't do it when we're talking right there. I know it's so weird. It's on the thing. I was like this and like doing it. And I've been doing this a lot by the way. This, you know, the harmonica accordion. Yeah, yeah. Not harmonica.
Starting point is 00:37:23 I'm doing genuine Trump like this. Yeah. So I've been doing it trump like this yeah so i've been doing it to take the piss because i've been following the american election quite closely because i find like trump he just his press conference is absolutely hilarious but like i've been i've been doing that to take the i'll be i'll be like i've been doing trump impressions we're gonna have dinner now great spring rolls really great spring vegetables, that's a great impression, by the way. And now it's carried into my fucking I'm doing it all the time. Like,
Starting point is 00:37:52 I'm not even doing impressions of him. And I'm doing that. No, but I've done it so much. It's seeped into my general Yeah, but you see it in like, mine's come from another place. It's very like, disconcerting. Yeah, by the way, I shout out the construction awards that I did. A lot of fun. Was that part of the day? No, no, no, no, but they did. They were very, very nice. But then they said to me, oh, we've got an executive. I'll put a
Starting point is 00:38:16 picture up of this. And I think people think I was joking, but they took me to what they said was the executive green room. And it was literally a storeroom next to the kitchen. And I made a joke with the guy. I said, Oh, is it any chance here? And obviously, there was loads that I can sit on. And he went, Yeah, I said, Oh, I forgot to sit on. He went, Oh, no, they can't sit on them. What? So I had to live. Yeah, he was like, why get them down to? Because they'd stack them all. He was like, I was I was like how long so was there for a half an hour how to leave? I was like this is insane. I was right into the kitchen as well
Starting point is 00:38:50 I was like, okay, it's just getting a guy Do you get how I get very anxious before these things right my mouth just dries up. Yeah, so if I don't have like a Mount a good sort of like bit of water before I go on I just dry mouth and that you know yourself if you dry mouth in the open minute, you're fucked. The whole thing's fucked. Difficult. And you've got donkey breath for the whole evening. So when they come up to get a water, you're conscious of that. Look, my breath doesn't go there. When they come up to get a water, your breath smells, that's one thing. But that first minute, if you've got dry mouth, it's awful. The feeling.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Yeah. So I'm like, in my head, I'm like, okay, like... And the guy was like, I said, I'll just get one from the kitchen. And he went, oh, you can't have that water. So I said, oh cool, is there anywhere? And he was like, he sighed and he sort of went off looking. And I could see bottles of water literally there. But I wasn't allowed those bottles because I was just presenting. I was just saying to Troye.
Starting point is 00:39:37 What is this corporate? They normally really look after it. It's like almost embarrassing. They had looks on, can I say that? They put on a nice hotel room This is that I was sitting in because you get for that. I've got there very early side like two or three hours Yeah, this was literally the run-up to going on And they they wanted to sort of like put and he said I will keep you as a bit
Starting point is 00:39:58 I was just surprised of all that you're here. So well, my name's in the program So I mean spelt wrong spelled like the Everton player some Davies Everyone seems to fucking find it insane Well, my name's in the program, so it won't be. Spelt wrong, spelt like the Everton player, Tom Davies. Everyone seems to fucking find it insane. The amount of times I go to things, or I get written about, or someone will email my agent, and go, oh, you know, we really love Tom Davies. He's such a good guy.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Is there any chance he can come on this podcast? You're like, well, get my fucking name right for us, though. There's no way you'll hear it. You'll be that big of a fan. It must be a nightmare, people mispronouncing and getting your name wrong. I can't imagine what that's like I
Starting point is 00:40:28 Know I do kick off when people call you Ramesh I get a lot of people message me and go I really love Ramesh and I said well, yeah, I don't know the Ramesh So oh no, I get spiking it annoys me. It does. It's such a simple thing. I was a corporate I don't do them very often. You're a big deal there in the corporate world. No I'm not. I'm not. Mate, come on. You don't do them that often so when you do it they've got to be big, right? Mate, I know there was one recently that you did that was fucking a big, big, big, big number.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Mate, what do you mean it was a white? Why are you trying to check? Wait, look, I'm doing some nice ones. Shout out the construction awards, the day awards and the night awards done in both the last two weeks. There's some nice fucking ground being made. Yeah, but I am very much like Rocky Balboa in the world of car. I'm really just waiting for my title shot. That was my big awards. I did. I did one.
Starting point is 00:41:22 And they put in the... You've done the BAFTAs. That's the biggest corporate in the world You've only got the Oscars and you've done you've completed all fucking corporates I did one and I was just doing 20 minutes I think is up 15 minutes to stand up and then do the awards, right? Yeah, so they put away I love the award bit. That's my favorite. Yeah. Yeah, once you've done the award That's an amazing thing life change it for people. I don't think it's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:45 I mean, it's good. I do sometimes think when you're doing those awards, you do think, isn't it great to be handing out awards in an industry that doesn't, you know, that's like their night of recognition. You and I exist in an industry that's constantly making up fucking awards to give to itself, do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:42:01 It's just like nonstop. Yeah, but that's what I think is a, like I looked at it, like there was a kid the other day right she picked up an award at construction awards right. Yeah. I looked at her she's 19 but if she's a day right she gets an award right. Yeah. And I just looked at her and think like I'm a very small part of this tiny little part of this that the incredible thing that she's done to get this award but I was like this is an amazing moment in her life she will look back and remember this this moment at the moment. Yeah yeah I'm not even gonna be
Starting point is 00:42:32 you know I'm not even remotely cynical about that I think it's a great thing man. Yeah it's a nice thing. So they put me in this room and they had like a nice selection of snacks and stuff like that and the woman came in and The the book or whoever's looking after me and she said do you want anything else and I said no, I'm all right Thanks. I was like about an hour and an hour before they'd got me down into the room And then every 10 minutes she kept coming. She goes do you need anything? She's really sweet No way, it's gonna get you even and I said no more. I'm all right. Thank you And then she goes oh you're very you're very low maintenance aren't you and I was I don't And I said, No, I'm all right. I'm all right. Thank you. And then she goes, Oh, you're very, you're very low maintenance, aren't you? And I was,
Starting point is 00:43:07 I don't think I was because there's loads of drinks and food in there. I don't know what else I could have possibly needed. And then I said to her, what makes you say that? Because I'm just sitting here like, you know, it's there's like, I said, you got all this stuff out. She goes, Oh, well, the guy that we did, we had to do it last. And I'll name him, but JT, can you bleep it out? Right? She goes, the guy that we had to do it last, and I'll name him, but JT, can you bleep it out, right? Because the guy that we had doing it last year asked for, this is incredible, by the way, right?
Starting point is 00:43:32 Before he went on to do his corporate, in that room that I was in, on his demands, full body massage. What? Full body massage. From a specific masseur. So for half an hour before the show. I genuinely thought you were going to say we asked for some warm milk. Please tell me who this was. I can tell you Tom, that person was ****. Oh yes, again not what I expected. I had a similar thing actually with it being, the person being demanding and full on and quite crazy.
Starting point is 00:44:08 We both know this person more, so I won't name them. People were saying that he was a very sort of, yeah. And he was like, by the way, everyone spoke very highly of how he orchestrated the whole evening. They said he was incredible. But yeah, he's, yeah, I'm just always like, by the way, it's a rule at corporates, by the way, and it's, it's, it's just as old as time itself, that whatever corporate you do, the person who did last year was absolutely brilliant.
Starting point is 00:44:36 That is always. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like one time, why don't they rebook people, by the way, I know, but I think they do sometimes, but sometimes they're not available. I went and did one and they were just constantly going on to me about, they were just very worried about how I was gonna do it. This is a few years ago, right? And I think it's just cause like they booked me,
Starting point is 00:44:55 but then were worried that I was gonna be me basically, which is like not positive enough. I get, not that I'm not positive, but you know, people think that I'm just like low key or whatever low energy and so she's getting me. Oh, we had we had Joel Domit do it last year and he was so Yeah, he's energy Joe. I saw you can you could keep his name in I saw a job by the way ABC the other day doing stand-up. Yeah, he was fucking for he blew my mind. He was amazing Stand up. Yeah, he was fucking for he blew my mind. He was amazing. He was incredible like banging stuff Shout out Joe very very very good. Okay, great. They go with that. So, you know, we talked about awards in the industry They don't come higher than that
Starting point is 00:45:38 You enjoy we've enjoyed started off a very similar time we've reminiscing about you know Praying in front of five people in East London and there he is. He's a good guy. He's one of the good guys. Yeah, I've got nothing bad to say about him. I don't think anyone has. I'd find it obscene if anyone had anything bad to say about Joe. He's a sweet soul. He is the definition of being a sweet soul. Yeah, he is. Absolutely. I've got a lot of time for him. Here's some icing, put a cherry on top. You know what you got there? You got a slice of cake that tastes delicious okay what what was why was that the conclusion to that? I don't know it just felt right. Okay fair enough. Um anyway so they were going to me, Oh, you
Starting point is 00:46:26 know, Joe was so good, so positive. And at one point, I actually I would never do this now because now I'm sort of used to the way that people sort of say these things and you kind of have to let it wash over you. I've already just got into this. So this is I'm hitting this. This is good to hear. So you basically have to be, you know, you have to kind of just go, I'm going to go and do the job and people will say things to you that will, if you're not right, mentally will freak you out a little bit.
Starting point is 00:46:51 Like the last person is really great. You know, and people say things like, we wanted him to do it this year, but we couldn't get him. But thanks for doing it. You know, like stuff like that. And if you're in a bad place or if you're not ready for that sort of shit, it can fuck you up. But, you know, at the end of the day, you're getting paid too much money for what you're doing so you can't really get to you but um I did but at that time I was a bit more sensitive and I just said do you think it was a mistake possibly to book me then and
Starting point is 00:47:30 And it just got very awkward. And you know when as soon as you say something, you go, why did I say that? I've told you the story about the woman that just had a go at me, haven't I? I must have told this story. I'll tell you very quickly. So I was a surprise guest for a corporate. And so I had to go through the back of this story. I'll tell you really quickly. So I was a surprise guest for a corporate and what so I had to go through the back of this hotel they put me in this room and then they were going to take me through the back. Oh no I think you have yeah I think you have said this but let's go through it anyway. So the woman came to get me and as we're going through the back of the hotel we get into
Starting point is 00:47:59 the lift and she's briefing me about it and then she just goes to me um can I ask you a question and I go yeah of course she goes do you actually you a question? And I go, yeah, of course. She goes, do you actually want to be here? And I go, what? And she goes, do you actually want to be here? And I said, sorry. Uh, yeah, why? She goes, just cause I'm briefing you and you'd look like you, you couldn't care
Starting point is 00:48:16 less about being here at this event. And I, and I just had to go, look, I'm really sorry. That is just, um, that is just how I present like that's how I come across yeah it is basically just my face and I am happy to be here but I'm sorry like you know and she was that was it then she fucking hated me went down to a thing discovered it was a it was a themed event Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and I. And I was being, yeah. And I was going to be brought out by 10 umpalumpas. Oh, wow. So I came out to dun dun dun dun dun dun dun with a bunch of umpalumpas in front of me.
Starting point is 00:48:55 And then I went to the thing. Before I went on, she went, are you going to do the stuff that you normally do? All that sweary sort of stuff that you normally do. And I go, sorry, what? She goes, you just, you know, like you just use swear loads, don't you? And she goes, that's kind of your thing. Is that what you're going to do the stuff that you normally do, all that sweary sort of stuff that you normally do. And I go, sorry, what? She goes, you just, you know, like you just use swear loads, don't you? And she goes, that's kind of your thing. Is that what you're gonna do?
Starting point is 00:49:10 And I went, well, I don't have to. I said, I can do whatever. And she goes, well, you know, what did she do? I don't know. I don't know. No, I tell you what. I've heard this story.
Starting point is 00:49:20 I've heard this story. You've told me this in a pub when you've had about three pints, right? No,, right? I know you've told it on the podcast before, but every time I hear it, I'm like, why did she book you? It's such a almost like gaslighty thing. I get the doubt face thing. Fair enough. She'd have a buy on that, but then don't turn around and say... It's understandable. Yeah. No, no, no. But I get like, she thinks you're not impressed, you're not into something. I sometimes think that when we're walking
Starting point is 00:49:47 down the street together, you'd rather be anywhere else but with me. But, and I love you, we're fucking best mates, but. That's just how I love that you've got that about you, but why book you if you're then gonna turn around about your material? That's what you're gonna get. I will say this, but number one, right,
Starting point is 00:50:08 the woman who has booked me me told me I'd almost, I could see that she was almost saying, dial it down a bit. You're too eager going out there. These people just had dinner. They're not ready for this level of excitement. You don't need to do a whole boxing walk on. But she said a weird thing to me. She said, I'm, oh, material wise, can you not say the C word? And I was like, yeah, cool. It's like a lunchtime event. That's fine. And she went, um, and no jokes about mental health. And I was like, I don't really do jokes about mental health. And she went, oh, and no, no stuff like that. Sort of degraded to women.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I would make an argument that your whole act is about mental health, to be honest. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but, but, but an, but but but aside of like I'm seriously struggling with it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, but then she went and then no degrading jokes about women. I was like, this feels like you might put another person that. Do you think she'd do you think she'd seen underdog? Oh, I don't think she had. I think this is kind of how I think things went, right? Hi, have you got anyone to look at Andy Leach, who we love Leachy.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Great guy. He's been very, very good to me. He'll get me back in the world of stand-up and corporates. But something like this happened to him. He's been so good to you. He was so good to you that he completely erased from your memory Tom Packman. It's unbelievable. He's got the fucking little light thing in Men in Black.
Starting point is 00:51:30 That's how good Andy Leach is. So she would go, hi Andy, have you got anyone for the construction awards? And he's like, yeah, you know who's great. Who'd be great? Tom Davis? Who? The Everton footballer.
Starting point is 00:51:45 He's actually playing for Sheffield United now. No, he's... I think I've seen him in stuff. He's an actor, isn't he? Yeah, yeah, but he's also doing a bit of stand-up. He used to be a builder, he used to be a skateboarder. This would be perfect for him. And if she's not bothered and she just assumes that my material... Oh, yeah, I don't like your fucking bunch of d*** material what's the deal with all the fucking birds in it who's struggling with any fucking mental cases in it I've
Starting point is 00:52:18 got a therapist fucking nut jobs where are all the bitches at? Oh, no. Yeah, that's not. I was like, that's not my time. My time's very pathetic and Jean-Paul. Right, shall we? What do you think of this episode? It's been all right, isn't it? Sort of mainly been nice. It's been rather good, isn't it, baby. Yeah, it's nice that we've turned it straight on and we've just gone straight for it. And I've enjoyed it. Mate, I spend an hour in your company, it's enough to get me through a week.
Starting point is 00:52:51 Wow, that's a lot of big things. That's how I look. Actually, baby, fuck me, I'll end it like that. Man, oh man. It's funny, isn't it? Where you draw your strength from. I was looking the other day, she was in Daffodil,
Starting point is 00:53:04 I was just packing her away for the from. I was looking the other day, I see some daffodils just packing away for the year. Sun was going. It's time for them to descend back into the dirt in which they came. Will there ever come bulbs again? Nah, it's a different generation of bulbs down there. But it's the sun, old friend, that keeps them strong. Alas, the grass will grow long, I hear you say,
Starting point is 00:53:24 but the grass will only grow if the rain shall fall and, trust me on one thing, this is England, baby, the rain's gonna fall. And that's where the grass gets its strength. But what about us human beings? Well, we need a little bit of all of it. You get out there, get your vitamin D and the sun, but if it ain't raining, baby, you ain't gonna stay hydrated. And the world turns turns and a poor little
Starting point is 00:53:46 boy with a runny nose runs through the streets as a cold wind blows. Wind. Do we need it? Shit. Shit do we. Have you not seen those big mechanical things in the seafront? They're building electricity for us and that's the future baby. But what about me? What do I need? Well, here's my medicine baby. It's a good old dose of friendship when I can get it. It's a chat with their like minded souls got a big smile on his face because he's just about to fucking rock and roll Auckland. 20,000 people shat in his name.
Starting point is 00:54:20 And although he's got a my hangover of three pints He's not gonna let anyone down because you know what he cares He cares and he shares his wealth and this experience and stage Just and so let me tell you a lot of thrown in the towel on this So yeah Auckland take care of my dear friend and that that goes for you, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, or wherever he lays his cap, and I know eventually Dubai, because he means a lot to a lot of people. He means a lot to this big lunk looking at him
Starting point is 00:54:53 across the world, thinking, shh, feels like a coca-cola baby, but a wink will have to do. There we go. That was great. JT, can you take us out with a little bit of Aerosmith? Don't want to miss a thing. Thanks once again if you bought tickets. We have got a special guest. We're not going to say who it is, are we? Yeah. Yeah. It's very special. Very excited. I actually think Martin's the guest. You know, by the I had some people have been asking if Jim the driver is a special guest I don't know if Jim's Jim might be take tonight if
Starting point is 00:55:33 Jim's there he will be there I mean it would be yeah it would be nice to get Jim gets a lot of mention I I think there's a there's a lot of there's a part of me that thinks we could do some specials with some of the people we talk about yeah yeah your flows your Jim's your grats is yeah you might have two There's a part of me that thinks we could do some specials with some of the people we talk about. Yeah, it's not a bad show. Yeah, your Floes, your Gyms, your Gratsis, your Mike Toosmoos. I'd love a Mike Toosmoos special. Well, I can tell you that from Floet will be a no. So let's put that dream to bed.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Our sweet, sweet puppeteer behind the scenes. Yeah. Making us all smile. Okay, all right. Don't get back into another one. Jesus Christ. All right, guys. Thanks so much.
Starting point is 00:56:06 We'll see you next time. Bye, folks. Bye, bye, don't get back into another one, Jesus Christ. Alright guys, thanks so much. We'll see you next time. Big love, folks. Ba-ba-ba. Bye. I don't wanna fall asleep, cause I'd miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss you babe. Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss you babe. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.

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