Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 56: TV Nostalgia & Pedicure Problems

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

With Rom in Sidney this week, it’s another intercontinental episode of the Wolf & Owl. We’re talking… food spills, old school ASOS, more thirst traps, enviously cool celebrities, the wonders of lift lighting, deleting Instagram, television heydays and an Eastenders watch-along, pornstar encounters, filming a Bellow Deck promo, an update on Rom’s visit to New Zealand, pedicure preparations and an awkward airport security confrontation. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit betterhelp.com to learn more. That's betterHELP.com. Chiara, it means smart in Italian. Too bad your barista can't spell it right. So you just give a fake name, your cafe name, Julia. But the more you use it, the more it feels like you're in witness protection. Wait a minute, what kind of espresso drinks does Julia like anyway? Is it too late to change your latte order? But with an espresso machine by KitchenAid, you wouldn't be thinking any of this because you could have just made your espresso at home.

Shop now at KitchenAid.ca. -♪ Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast a body parts get severed and served

Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill never sheeps clothing Dark enough to turn the Sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All your ears are half a puff and a Expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning Just kidding every word in this songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog

hello hello and welcome to the wolf and owland thing here's been a break we hope you like the improvised chat we bring yo yeah i love this this crazy look i like your hoodie where's that from this hoodie oliver spencer cream it's quite you got some vibe wearing cream. You spend a lot of time with mine two spoons So that kind of look is don't don't don't Attribute it to him. I That's it. That's right. Yeah, you can't eat in this thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, you can't do anything in that No, not really. You can't even drink in it really. I Were a restaurant the other day. This is quite a boring story, but let's open with it

We're at a restaurant the other day in Adelaide and yeah, I literally Ted 10 seconds after the food arrived. I dipped a chip in some hot sauce moved it to my mouth Straight down the t-shirt. Well, the the the woman serving there looked at me was such pity Yeah, she brought out some sparkling water and a little napkin. She said maybe that will help. And what that did was exactly it. Isn't it like white wine helps?

I don't think white wine helps with hot sauce. I think white wine is for red wine, isn't it? You know what I should be right now? You should carry a little sachet with if you is what one vinegar boy Whatever on vinegar is a man for carbonate of soda They don't I don't think listen It's less embarrassing just have a stain on your top then to go. Oh, actually don't worry about the sparkling water I've got some bi-carbonate soda and white wine vinegar that I carry with me at all times because I'm a fucking idiot It's it's so

Regular it's so regular that I spill stuff down myself that I have to bring supplies with me for when Kit for a t-shirt the t-shirt I'm guessing that you were in nice white crisp t-shirt. I'm guessing yeah minimum We're talking 25 pounds. Yeah Something like yeah, or yeah, it's a nice. I know, we're talking 25 pounds, yeah? Something like that. Yeah, it's a nice, I know you like your Chris, yeah, you like me, you like a nice Chris fit, right? Difficult to find a good fit for a T-shirt, actually. Yeah, T-shirts is savage.

I will say select a very nice T-shirt for men. Okay. You can get them on ASOS. Someone told me the other day, by the way, ASOS might be going bust. Yeah, it's not as devastating news to me as it by the way, I just might be going bust. Yeah Devastating news to me as it is to you and obviously I'm sorry people isn't their jobs But you're sort of delivering it like it's the most shocking news of the century Yeah, it's a little bit ASOS was there for a lot of us when no one else was they I think for a lockdown

They were absolutely incredible. They were like We with ASOS within the old-school days when Do you remember, do you remember, we were with ASOS in the old school days when it was as seen on screen And it was actually like they'd have like Brad Pitt's jacket from Fight Club and stuff like that No, that's how it that's how ASOS started. So ASOS was like, is that what it stands for? As seen on screen? Yeah, so when it first started it was like you'd see An outfit on a film like you know film outfit or something like that Now it would be that that t-shirt he wears in the bear or whatever.

And then it would go, they would have those items, like a version of those items. You wouldn't look good in that. Don't get that t-shirt. That's, you've got to have a certain look. Do you know the way, the way that that was my go-to was like, I really let the mask clip that I'd be thinking about.

Yeah, yeah. With the tight iron arms. Yeah, no, I can't pull that off. really let the mask clip out of your vincola bag. With the tight arms. Yeah, no, I can't pull that off. I can't pull that off. You tried to pop in. I made the mistake once of, it's so embarrassing because I did it for,

I actually did this for this Q and A I did with Lenny Henry, but somebody said to me, oh, this is so embarrassing. Somebody said to me, have you thought about cuffing your t-shirt sleeves? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I did that. It looks like, I don't know how to explain it, it looked like I thought I had a physique that was much better than the one I'm actually got, that the guns needed to be properly put on display. It's like putting your arms in a glass case and going check these bad boys out. So bad.

And then all the publicity photos. I just saw it. I posted a photo of me like on stories or whatever and somebody commented, oh showing off the guns and I thought oh no. Could I say by the way that you you you enlightened me to this sort of trend and recently it's like it's everywhere. So I put up a picture not so long ago and we talked about it on here and you and I, it's a bit of a thirst trap, right? Well, I think it was the milk picture. No, I put a picture of me in a lift holding some milk

and you said I was a bit of a thirst trap, right? I'd never heard of that before. As far as I was aware, I thought I looked nice in a picture. I genuinely thought that's what Instagram was, right? Every picture I've put up subsequently, yeah? I've had that remark. By the way, I will say, I had a picture I put up the other day with me and a job I'm doing at the moment

and I had a long wig on. I jokingly put up a look like the pound shop Jason Momoa. Then it was commentary. It was funny, yeah? Yeah, and then there was a lot of Pete Wicks. Also a lot of Russell Brand similarities, which I didn't necessarily find this complementary as Dear Pete I quite like the Pete wicks actually commented

I felt quite you know, is it weird to be starstruck by that the Pete wicks commented on a picture? What people simply saying I look like him. I don't I don't want to say anything because it'll sound like I'm saying I'm saying Pete wicks and I like Pete Wicks a lot I think he's great, but he's a cool guy. I guess in answer to your question. Yes, it is sad What the Pete Wicks coming in? No, it's not sad that it's not sad that people is coming to be sad Oh, hey Pete Pete Pete Pete Wicks his comment was really cool. It's not sure. It was but what? Listen Pete Wicks great guy. I love I love celebs like Pete Wicks right here were just like

Authentically themselves, and they just do what you know I really like it But I could imagine you going our bloody old cap Well, sorry no no yeah, I know I know grace needs a little bit out, but you don't believe this I've done a thing about I've done a thing about looking like Pete Wicks and Other people and Pete Wicks said I like the look I'm here for it. It was actually quite sweet I was working at work at the time and we were having a bit of a joke about it And then I said oh my god Pete Wicks is commented and I will say this a lot of people say at work yeah quite a few people quite excited the makeup girls on the job were quite excited Pete Wicks by

the way carries a lot of swag yeah the force is strong in him there's no doubt about it. I will say Pete Wicks and I said this I forgot to talk about this before I know we've talked about him a lot on this podcast I saw Idris Elba in the flesh the other day again. He is unbelievable. He's so fucking cool. He is like, he shook my hand and I swear my life, I felt like I was gonna melt. Yeah.

It's like, he's just incredible. What? What did you say? I don't know why this is happening to me, but I just wanna be absolutely honest. I feel like I'm listening to Lisa talk about him I don't know why Happy with the reaction I just had to that if you heard I just sort of like mmm In a sense and I do respect you for it that means you hold yourself in Idris

That means in a sense, and I do respect you for it, that means you hold yourself in Idris's stratosphere. No, what it means is I hold you in romantic partner stratosphere. That's what that means. Yeah, but you turn around to Idris if we're at a party and go, excuse me, that's my doofus. Yeah. If anybody's going to make him melt, it'll be me, I think you'll find, Idris. Unfortunately, I've been doing three years of podcasts with him and he's

remained very much at room temperature. He is so cool. He looks and his clothing. What a guy. Yeah, no, but what a guy. He's a feast of a hat. Anyway, my point being, so even today I put up a picture of myself in the lift because I quite like that little look in the lift. I'm getting into that fiber. The lift lighting is good. Lift lighting is great I'd love you know, whatever if it's a site would be a better place if we could just spend nearly all our time in lifts Mm. Mm. Do you want me to like everywhere else just looking for that lift lighting? Yeah, no, it all just or how about this try and try and bring lift lighting into other scenarios

I think would be the easiest solution rather than all of our lives in this Yeah, actually, you know, but you know what the lottery of like living your life in a lift where you're going up and down You know, I suppose that is what life is right? You never know where you're gonna end up and life is a little bit like an elevator goes up It goes down doesn't really go sideways, but neither does life you're going for west. You know, you're gonna go forward and you can't go back Yeah, anyhow, she told me going forward, aren't you? You can't go back. Anyhow, so you know what I mean. Yeah, not as profound as you thought, I'd say. But yeah, it's been a week of meeting very cool people.

Okay, well the truth is, I did happen to see that lift selfie that you put up on stories. I think you put something like mad morning or something like that. So not only is it a thirst trap, what you also convey to people is that fucking hell. Honestly, I've got so much going on. Absolutely mental morning. It's not an aim I've achieved more than most people achieve in a week. That doesn't necessarily mean you've achieved those. Mad can mean, like the joke is mad.

This doesn't mean like it's like fucking, like I'm this in the Yeah, that's what, yeah, no, Tom, Tom, don't try and fucking sidestep it like that. Nobody's going, nobody's going, no he's taking a picture and lifting said mad morning, it must mean he's clinically insane. That's not what that fucking means, and you know

that. that's not what that fucking means and you know that you're a sneaky little snake I love you so much anyway I only happen to see it by chance because actually a couple of weeks ago actually maybe two weeks ago I just deleted Instagram. Yeah, but you said you were going to, yeah.

Yeah, so I deleted it and then I haven't been looking at it, obviously I've not been looking at it at all, I can't log on to it right, so occasionally I've looked on to check that like a post has gone up, but you can only, if you're not on Instagram, you can't look at the comments or anything like that, you literally just see the picture of it. And life has been, well I was about to say life has been much better. That's a massive exaggeration. It's like, I'm not doom scrolling as much as I was, at all. Are you on TikTok as well?

Or you? No, I do look on TikTok, but I've downloaded this app that basically when you click on to TikTok, it goes, are you sure, like it sort of like goes, are you sure you click on the tick tock it goes are you sure like it's sort of like are you sure you want to go on to tick like a parental guidance sort of thing yeah and then it does it in half our block so at the end if you're on it for half an hour it'll stop and it'll go you can carry on if you want but you've been on it for half an hour you know it's quite the

other day I was on the way to a job and Jim was driving and another mad morning for Tom Davis. Oh, this is it went crazy. I started watching. So basically on my Tik Tok, the algorithm built up a Grant and Phil Mitchell threatening Johnny, I can't remember his name, Johnny Allen in East Enders. Right. Um, right. Right.

And that led to me for the next hour, right. Me and Jim were driving to Bristol And for an hour of that journey for poor Jim. He said hey Are you just watching old episodes of East Enders and oh my god hour I I went through from Grant Mitchell and Phil Mitchell all the way to sort of like dirty den and that I was literally Jumping around from oh if he could only hear this stuff. It was quite, he went off. I know, I'm not old. Honestly, this is putting me off my overnight thoughts.

I, can I just? Can I just commend you, by the way, for not using headphones and have it just subjecting Jim to you listening to that out? Yeah, no, no, but usually, you know what, one of the things we like to do is I sometimes play like little clips of Partridge or The Office and he chuckles to them. I don't know that, you know, he gets a kick out of those and we discuss stuff. He is a good starting point for that, chats in the car.

Yeah, I sort of of I generally just sort of chats him I don't sort of need kindling from social media to get the old fires no then he'll suggest something you go oh have you seen this yeah yeah and you go fucking held your eyes on the road mate Jesus Christ how did you get in the back here? Who's driving? But EastEnders went through a time when it was incredible, right? I'm not taking it, I don't watch it now. Yeah, well that's the thing. But it was a heyday.

We don't know how good EastEnders is now. No, but it was a heyday of like, you know, Tasmin Alfway and Gwendolyn Phil Mitchell and I'm using to have Mel, her name in it and Lucy shooting Phil, Steve Owen, it was like those are like heady days that Nick Cotton... Okay can I ask you a question about hey can ask you a question about heyday? Yeah. Is it is it possible that you think it's heyday because you watched it at a certain period in your life? I mean it could be some people watching it now who in the in the future are going to go be some people watching it now in the in the future gonna go German it's heyday when I don't know who's in it now but

like what I'm saying is we look at shit with rose tin can I just say that music music from a certain era is better the TV shows are better I'm gonna jump in before you embarrass yourself any further right East Enders back then was significantly better like When you go go look even look at the old clips and I don't listen Tom you don't watch it now Oh, no, it would be on in the house. It's not in the house. Oh, okay catching it since Danny's left I don't think it's as good like it but you've not watched it. Have you watched it? Of course little bits of it, right? But you've not watched it, have you watched it? I thought it was little bits of it. Right, okay.

What I'm saying to you is... No, no, no, no. Tom, what I'm saying to you is... I would defy anyone in the late 90s to walk past the TV with like, when Mel was having an argument with Steve Owen and all of that, Doc Cotton was in the mix, right? Martin Fowler, Sonya, all this great stuff was happening. I defy anyone to walk past the TV. If you're walking past Curry's, mate, you go, Jesus Christ, what's happening here? It looked and it felt so effervescent.

Okay, okay, there's a lot to unpack here, all right? First of all, I don't know what the fuck was going on with you, you stopped by Curry's and said, hey, have a look at this, okay? All right? Secondly, it's not effervescent. You've gone from using effervescent in the wrong context to completely mispronouncing the word. Thirdly, it's not a fair test because you don't have TVs in the window at Curry's anymore. Like, you know, that shit doesn't happen. What I'm saying is... Every scene in that was...

Look, I'll tell you what I'd love to do, right? I would love nothing more. When you're back from Australia, we do a like an acid test or whatever it's called. Like if we sit together, a litmus test, we sit and we watch an hour of old EastEnders and we watch an hour of new EastEnders and we see what it's like. Do you know what? Do you know what? Sometimes I wonder why this podcast works. Right.

And I think it's a sort of odd couple nature of it. And that really highlights it because you said just now, I would love nothing more than to watch an hour of new East Enders and old East Enders And to that I would say I would love nothing less So, you know, that's kind of over you can't say whereas you can't sit there and be holier than that So I spout your mouth off about like East Enders and defend my mouth off once defending you said this I said just got it yeah you want to say no no listen again by the way another very Trumpian quality of yours is that you just make up shit and insist that that's the case I never said that new East Enders was really great I don't know and my point is neither do you

right I'm saying Let me tell you something now, let me tell you something now listen I don't want to go into fitting on this but the actors and the writers are wasting their fucking time Because back in the day East End is as great mate was now it's enough. It's a hollow shell It's a hollow shell by comparison and actually I was go as far as to say shame on you Cast and crew for making us I'm gonna go I'm gonna go out on a limb here I'm gonna go out on a limb here right and I don't have to do this as you know right I'm not even I'm not even say I'm not even say just sopial qualities of what EastEnders was

back in those days right right I'm telling you now right the day the days that I'm talking about those EastEnd Dan Sullivan, right? Names that will go down in fucking Albert Square folklore, right? Right? Those days, I would put up there with most strong dramas that we've created in this country. Okay. Not as... Okay, first of all, that is not going out on a limb. Don't tee up like you're about to say something absolutely amazing and then backtrack as you're talking. Let me tell you this, I'm gonna go out on a limb here

and look, this might get me canceled. I live with the consequences. EastEnders in its heyday was, you know, it was very good television comparable to a lot of other stuff that was being made at the time. And you know, it was like, it was very good Television comparable to a lot of other stuff that was being made at the time and you know, it was like it was very good No, I'm saying that mate Generally I was generally I was waiting for you to say something very Thomas Like I say what it's better than sopranos or something like that

I've never done this before if you you could share the screen, I'll get YouTube up. We could watch a glimpse of an EastEnders moment from back then, those days. Just get it up on your phone. I'm not sharing my screen, because I've got a lot of... Oh, you've got a grot on there. I've got a lot of dodgy shit going on. Right, I'm gonna play this in.

By the way, I haven't got a lot of dodgy stuff on my screen. I just can't be bothered to do it. Can I just be crystal clear on that? Well, I'm gonna go for... in. By the way, I haven't got a lot of dodgy stuff on my screen, I just can't be bothered to do it. Can I just be crystal clear on that? Right, I'm going to go for... What is your search, by the way? Because if you're going to put best of EastEnders... No, no, no, I'm going to go...

I've just gone... I've literally just gone for EastEnders. Look, I'll tell you what we'll go for, because it's like... This is February 1990, 24 February 1990, right? Okay. This is Phil Mitchell's first ever appearance on EastEnders. 21 seconds long. Okay.

She's very... I'm sorry what are you... what is that space to prove I would you went big on thinking that 21 seconds is gonna make you hold it okay right no no if you think that right if you think that this this is the one to watch. All right, okay. Okay, I mean I saw what was happening there as Phil and Grant, but no sound was coming through at all. But it will come through when you're recording. Yeah, yeah. But, okay, what is the point you're trying to prove there? How dramatic it was. How dramatic and how incredible it was.

Yeah, Tom, I'm not disputing that it's dramatic incredible. I was a big East Enders fan the point I'm trying to make is You don't know that it's it could there could be loads of good stuff in it now. Yeah Neither of us know Watch like a week of East Enders now. I might just do that for the litmus test Okay, do you know what? I'm actually up for that if that's if's true, seeing that and sitting down with you and watching an hour together, then yes, let's watch a week of EastEnders.

I would think actually that we could go in as quite cool EastEnders characters. I think you could. I don't think it's really in my locker. I think you could. I think you could be quite a cool new character. Like sort of like the new Den Watts type thing. Like you could run the... LAUGHS MUSIC MUSIC fake name, your cafe name, Julia. But the more you use it, the more it feels like

you're in witness protection. Wait a minute, what kind of espresso drinks does Julia like anyway? Is it too late to change your latte order? But with an espresso machine by KitchenAid, you wouldn't be thinking any of this because you could have just made your espresso at home. Shop now at KitchenAid.ca.

There's certain people that have just, like Danny Dyer. Yeah, Danny was a great actor. I mean, look, it's not a great example because Danny Dyer seems to be, he just oozes charisma, doesn't he? So whatever scenario you put him in, he kind of will smash it. But he's so good. Also, Danny's good at at like, Danny's such, he's such an underrated actor, like genuinely a really, like I saw Danny in Pinnacle.

Danny is like one of the best act, genuinely. I think Danny Dyer is an underrated, just everything. Like, I know, I just think whenever you see him on anything, look, it's not come out yet, but we had him on League of their own. What a great, he's just so good, just so naturally good. Can I say, when I was coming up as well in the industry, I played in a celebrity football game with him and he was one of the nicest, kindest, most supportive people I've ever met.

Genuinely, just a decent human being. Couldn't speak higher than Danny D. Actually, Danny D is a decent human being couldn't speak higher Danny day actually Danny D's a porn star isn't he Danny die Danny D's a porn star. I Don't know don't know no no, I just cuz he started following no, I've got no idea He's so funny. Yeah, and there are so who's this is following me and then looked at his yeah page and blushed quite significantly I had that I had that happen where like I did a below deck advert a while ago right and What I thought how did you get that? Because I went on

Zoe ball and friend your friends around Friday. Sorry. Yeah, and I talked about below day. It was a good bit It was a very good bit. You did I'm not I saw it at the time. Why are you saying it? Why why are you saying it's so begrudgingly? No, I'm begrudging it was good No, you don't because it was it was I said it that you said I would use I would be honest. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'll be completely honest, please. That's you doing Stanley bit of your description of it was when I watched it. I was like, that's fucking good I wish I'd come out with that

No you weren't. Anyway, the reason I did it, your bit about Below Deck is that I've watched Count, I've watched every hour of Below Deck like you have when I saw you do that yeah I don't like I've literally I like thought how do I make Below Deck funny and then you did that I was like well let's just I scrubbed out Below Deck from any of my files like that's the bit about Below Deck there's not another bit. Well that's very sweet of you to say but anyway So the producers of below deck or the or the channel Hulu saw that clip right and they got in touch and they said is Ramesh willing to appear in a little lot bit of promo for below deck and normally I don't do promo stuff like that, but I actually like it, right? So I thought let me let me do it. So they were kind enough to organize a shoot, like a, like a little shoot in a studio that was really near my

house, right? So it's in Hawley near Gatwick, right? So, so I went over there and there was a, a woman there with her, with a dog. And she sort of watched me pull up and I got out and then walked in she said oh hello and I said oh hello and I walked in and I did the below deck stuff and as I came out she was sort of by a car with two like quite burly blokes right and I didn't think I didn't think anything of it anyway she messaged me or commented on a post or something saying it was really nice to see in Hawley earlier and I clicked on her profile and she's a porn star. Oh my god. And I obviously like, well that was obviously like I'd seen either the

ends or the beginnings of it. I reckon while I was talking about Captain Sandy she was getting Captain Hansi. Number one by the way that's the that's a there's been a few times in our friendship where I've genuinely wanted to disengage and pretend that I don't know you. That's one of them Captain Hansi. It's like I actually feel like fucking sick that you said that. Like, like. Do you know what happened? That is. Can I just, can I, in my defense, in my defense. There's no defense. I was. She was, I was chatting about Captain Sandy. She was getting Captain Hansy, mate.

No, I was trying to do, look, what happened was, I was trying to do an ironic pun. I didn't deliver it properly, all right? Look, can I just say one thing? I'm not saying that. Me and you aren't sexy guys. That's not happening, right? But when you say things that captain's hands a it makes people contemplate that but this is an asexual book I know well, I mean it is to a sexual blokes doing it effectively

Did you did you sort of high-five like how sort of like shake a hand or if you know No, no, it's sort of hello as I went past Anyway, sorry, we were talking about me coming off in the script. I just want to say this very quickly Okay, so I saw your I saw your um Your thirst trap Yeah, it was a picture I thought I looked nice. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That is the definition of a nice thing But that isn't that what Instagram is I also put our pictures were like that picture of me Long hair. I thought I looked disgusting

So I've put up a picture. Yeah, so that's not a thirst trap That's never the whole point of putting up pitch like if any picture uses car feel quite nice about myself So I put it on Instagram Tom you're taking first trap in a derogatory manner But the way that is being used against against me is... Yes, no. There's been a lot of... I've not used it. I mean, I have used it to you. No, no, no. You've joked about it.

But when it's said to me, I'm like, oh shit, is this the thing we're not doing? What are we allowed... Like, within modern society, what are we allowed to put up anymore? We're not allowed to put up a nice picture of ourselves. Tom, listen. You are allowed to put that picture up.

Okay? And people are allowed to say... And people are allowed to say it's a thirst trap, right? I don't know if a thirst trap is... How you respond to that is totally up to you. Yeah, but when someone says thirst trap, it's like, I take thirst trap as being, like, that's not really what this is for. Okay, well that's on you then, isn't it? Yeah, but that's the way I've been led to believe that it is,

the way that people say it. But what I'm saying, my response to that would be, I am talking to a man right now who I love with all of my heart, I love very dearly and I know from how much I know you, that your self-opinion about how you look is very low, right? And it's one of the things that brought us together in this universe. So on the occasion that you think you look nice and you decide to post it there is nothing wrong with that. You're not you're not you're not an arrogant guy that thinks that you know the opposite is true if anything your biggest fault not your biggest fault you've got

plenty of. No but what I mean is your one of your faults is that you think too little of yourself so on an occasion where you decide to pose for you look good all power to you my brother thank you do it do you mean and if people and if people say first trap that's up to you how you've been so yeah you just go yeah it's a first trap and it turns out you're fucking thirsty baby drink it in well that's how come back to Instagram. I feel like it's not so without you. No, no what I'm doing is what I've done is because actually this is the downside of it is that I deleted Instagram and then there were quite a few people that weren't able to get into the Hammersmith Apollo show that had been messaging me going I'm outside can you sort me out getting

inside and I hadn't seen those messages so that was unfortunate so what but what I'm doing is is I've got it on my basically I'm having to log in every time that's how I'm doing it. So that's a drag isn't it? It is a drag but I want it to be a drag. Do you know what I mean? Like I want it to rather than just like so you're not gonna look at it yeah so if I like I'll go and have a look at Instagram now then I have to go through the rigmarole of logging in rather than just clicking and it's there, do you know what I mean? And I've got to say-

I need to hire a wire myself not to be so on Instagram and stuff. Yeah, well it's easily done, isn't it? It is easy. I'm good when I'm at home, if I'm honest. When I'm at home, I don't usually, once we're back home with Grace and Catherine, I've been a lot better at not looking at shit.

Yeah, no, it's good. But it's, during the today. I find it so fucking like long And like I just look at shit. I don't doesn't interest me anymore. Yeah, no, I know and sometimes you go what have I? What have I spent the last half an hour doing? I mean, I like just sort of formulating an argument as to why East End is better back in the day Is that a good use of my stand by that? I need I'm not suggesting you don't I know you do. I'm not suggesting you don't. I know you do. Yeah. And I'm glad you're proud of it.

I'd actually love to get some of that old EastEnders cast as guests on. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And none of the new ones, fuck them. They're wasting their time. I don't even know any of the new characters. No. Danny was the only one.

I watched it for Danny because I always found Danny like a sort of fast-forward between the bits. He wasn't here. God. Okay. Couple of things. Yeah. So I've been going through airports recently. Oh, this is the thing I do want to say. This is really bad because I think I've forgotten.

I think his name is Tio. Okay. I'm pretty sure his name is Tio. This guy invested already. This guy. I haven't invested already. This guy sounds fucking cool. I was at Wellington Airport in New Zealand, right? And I do want to say.

Okay, I'm interested. Can I just give a big shout out, Tom Davis style, to the New Zealand crowds, and New Zealand in general. Big fan of the country, big fan of the crowds there. Yeah, it was great. Really lovely experience. We had a great time, went on the cable car in Wellington. There was an amazing vegan bakery called Belen. By the way, can I just say, is Wellington where the boots come from?

This is absolutely unbelievable. Do you know who said those exact words? You're all going to love this when I tell you this. to smooth said those exact words I thought you'd be aware that anyway Martin speaking of Martin to smooth we're walking through when we get to Auckland right you got go for immigration obviously because we left Australia we're going to another country just to be clear and we get to immigration and Martin goes up first and the woman goes, what are you doing here? And for some reason, Martin just sort of slightly started to panic, right?

And he sort of went, you know, the unflappable Martin Toos move. He was just sort of went, well, it's like, it's like a comedy event and I like, I'm like DJing for it. And it and you know what it is as well well because you are you're an ace flapper right you when you get a flat I wondered how this would become a slam on me but well done you found it no but I'm the same mean you're used to being stuttery flat slapper yeah we used to being

worried like flappers Oh here we go. Captain Anzi. I think you said slappers. I'd love to rewind it here again. Hello, Lisa. Can you book a room in for a friend of mine who's coming over? It's Captain Anzi. Lisa, it's my birthday.

If you get into your lingerie I'd quite like to go below deck. I think you know what I mean you come in a little captain's outfit yeah there's a problem to the starboard please Lisa The actress falling off the train. Lisa, there's some rigging that needs urgent attention. Oh, man overboard. Oh God, it's actually disgusting me now. Dad, this is so cringy. Why do we have to be here?

Can we go to bed please? No, I thought you boys might found this funny. I just thought I just thought you'd want to hear a little bit of your dad making some moves Oh god, that's horrible. Anyway, sorry what we oh, yes anyway, so my Yeah, did you put a reassuring hand on his shoulders? I saw right man No, because it's a one point she goes is it a function and he goes yeah is a function and then rely No, it's not function. It's a show We had sort of step in but we were sort of we gave Martin a light ribbon because he is one of the coolest guys On the planet. Yeah, yeah.

So you see him having a bit of a flat. How was he in the midst of the ribbing? Great. Martin's like, he's great. Great. So that's... I know, I know. You can't even get him on that. He's incredible. He's in with Idris. He's in with Idris. Yeah, he is. I mean he played Idris's birthday.

And Steve Irwin. Yeah, I saw. I mean he played Idris's birthday. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. Yeah Yeah, I mean how cool would that room have been? We'd have stunk that room out. Yeah I mean you're the corner guy. Have you seen those guys in the corner talking about below deck? Yeah Just they're doing like sort of sailing sex puns really horrible The squeaky voice was brought upon star with anything to use that guy who's that guy? I've been that's rubbish Ranganathan Why I just I went over to him and he called me captain id

Just like really bizarre For some reason he's got a porn star and two big guys This is Lucy yeah, she's an adult film star. All aboard! Oh no, it's a train, isn't it? Anyway, then, right, so there's a bit like, where you gotta go through customs, and there's obviously, as it is at every airport, if you've got to declare something or not,

you've got nothing to declare. The difference is, if you've got nothing to declare, they talk to everybody, right? Because they're really hot on anybody bringing any stuff into there. So we go up to this desk, we get called over to this desk, we're at the nothing to declare thing, and the guy says, okay, so what what you doing and I was at the front here

So I said, oh we're coming for a comedy show and did it because you've got anything to declare and I said no We don't and then Gratz said actually he said no, sir And then the guy paused and looked at Martin Martin was distracted right and looking at a sign on the back of the thing, like behind the guy about insects or something like that, and then the guy goes, Oi! Are you listening? And then Martin goes, Oh yeah, yeah I'm listening, and he goes, I need your undivided attention please. And then Martin went, Oh shit, yeah, okay, yeah, sorry, sorry, and then he goes, Okay, you're free to go It was so that's it's both so terrified and so funny. Can I tell what's happened there?

Oh, is it because the guy must have known that I'm a fucking nerd and so he decided to have a go at mine Is it that I was at the front of the guy going? Oh, let me talk to somebody that isn't a tragic fucking loser Like this guy that I'm speaking to is that no, I'm just trying to guess what your explanation is gonna be Is it the guy thought I really I don't want to talk to somebody that was almost certainly a virgin until 35 so let me chat to the other guy is it that Okay, what he's done is he right he has been emasculated by how cool Martin is and Because he didn't care about it. He's just basically shot Martin down because he just he's seen how cool Martin is So he's gone. Oh mate. I'm not having this guy

Walton in here or call looking at pictures of insects I'll tell him what for and I bet he went home that night and he was like hey mom Yes, Bradley. You should have been there today mate, right? There's these three dudes have come over from The UK one of them is a big ass comedian. Funny as fuck, I've watched some of his stuff. There we go. Oh thanks, yeah that's good. I mean it was after I really begged for it but go on. Yeah, the other one was his tour manager, nice guy, looks like he could arrange a caper or two but the other one was so cool. Just looking at picture of insects and I was like, hey mate, you listen here and you listen good mate I need you to look at me I need your undivided attention and for a brief

second he didn't say anything but I actually think he respected me there we go it's good it's good The other thing that happened at the airport, by the way, I'm in Sydney, by the way. Let me see if I can show you this actually, bro. Where's Theo, by the way? Pardon? Who was Theo? We've not found out who Theo was. Theo?

Oh shit! Sorry, yeah, Theo. So Theo is from Norwich, lives in New Zealand, right right took a flight to come and watch the stand-up show From Norwich to New Zealand. No, no, no, no from Norwich in New Zealand. So that's my fault I can't I've I've legit. Okay. He I think he flew up from the South Island to the North Island to come watch the show Said to me whenever acts come out to Australia and New Zealand, they never mentioned New Zealand so I'm sorry for that New Zealand big up yourselves but also then said had to come and watch you massive fans of the wolf for now there's about six of us that have come up to watch this massive fans of the wolf for now and

then turned to Gratz and went oh my god are you Gratz? Oh wow! Like recognized him from being talked about on the podcast. It was so lovely, man. That's a moment. Little G getting that fucking love he deserves. Anyway, let me just show you this because I'm in Sydney now, right? Look at this, bro.

That penthouse looking nice, bro. Penthouse looks, oh my God. Can you see this? Look at that, can you see that? Yeah, yeah. Can you see the Sydney Opera House? It's a bit blown out. No, it's a bit, you gotta press on it.

I know you're on your laptop. Oh, there you go. Oh my God, look at that. Well, you're living bougie. That's probably where Kylie Minogue stays in that room when she's in Australia. I don't think so. Oh, she'd probably stay at home actually, wouldn't she?

Yeah. She's from Australia. She's probably got a house there. Yeah. Yeah, she'd probably stay at home actually, wouldn't she? Yeah. She's from Australia. She probably got a house there. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it doesn't mean you cannot easily access all areas of Australia. I mean, we're flying to Perth in a couple of days. Check this out.

Five and a half hours. What? Yes. Australia is incredible, but it's so big, isn't it? I know. It is massive. It's almost, someone told me it's nearly as big as Europe. It's the whole...

Yeah. Welcome to the least profound things you've ever heard online with Ramesh and Tom Welcome to welcome to a series of facts you almost certainly already knew with Ramesh and Tom This week we're joined by Lucy who's a porn star from Surrey. Hello Lucy. So I understand from what I understand from sort of watching it as part of my research you actually are having sex in these films. You said to you through two big guys as well I thought they would be like bouncers they're pretty skewy guys. Yeah maybe it's possible yeah I mean I don't know. Do you think after shooting a video like that that's like a porn video they all go out and get like some food like it's more like a normal

lunch thing they were like oh let's just grab some food. I think it probably is. Do you think like it's like it's like a work transaction? So they're like, what's everyone doing after? I might just go down to like, Nando's and grab some food. That is what it's, I do suspect that's what it's like. Speaking of Nando's, Tom, fucking hell, this is like, and it didn't require that much of an exclamation, there's a bloody group of Nando's people

having a conference at this hotel. Oh really? Everywhere I move, there's like 40, I actually said to them on behalf of my friend Tom Davis can I just say thank you for your service. Yeah but can I, you get a better deal from Nando's than I do. You got, Nando's was great to me back in the Andy Leach and in uh, Patman days but yeah those days have waned. I'm actually, that's, those Nando's days were like the old EastEnders days for me. They sort of look back and you know But yeah, those days have waned. I'm actually, those now those days were like the old EastEnders days for me.

Those I look back and you know, with wonder. Yeah, yeah, the glory of Rome. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyhow, we've digressed again. We have digressed. We're flying, so we flew out from, we went from Wellington to, I can't remember,

anyway, I was in Adelaide, flew out from, flying out from Adelaide, shout out Adelaide by the way, that city, great, great city. And you're top 10 of all time? Maybe, I loved it, I loved it a lot, I did like it a lot. Anyway, so then, flew to Sydney, and as I'm going through the airport, which by the way, you'd think I'd be getting better at this, but I'm absolutely not Security getting yourself ready to go through security. Yeah, right. I

Haven't got any slicker Getting my shit, you know getting the laptop and also there's different rules in all these different places I've got my laptop out before right before I get to the things at the same time. Yeah, well I didn't do that. So, because some of them... Do you take shoes and socks off? Well, I've had to stop wearing a particular pair of, not my socks, but I've had to stop wearing a particular pair of like, I've got these like Nike boot sort of high tops and every time I go for an airport they make me take them off so I'm not wearing them. You know what you should wear is thongs.

My feet are not for public display. Well go and get a pedicure. I had a beautiful pedicure by the way, shout out to Chloe. My feet were looking disgusting. Can I just say shit, the pedicure, my feet look a different colour now. They look so like, for the life. It's literally not like when you watch a gardening programme. And like Alan Titchmarsh and Charlie Dimmock and all that will give it all like they got a cruddy old garden it's all over run they yeah it's kind of as like it

looks brilliant that's what my feet were like after Chloe had been at them I looked it looked like blood had gone back to them like they look like can I just say the last 25 seconds is podcast has been horrible 25 seconds this podcast has been horrible. Why? My feet look like you know, like a zombie's feet. And it looks like they'd reverse the zombie fight to give him a little bit of colour back. You should have it done. Yeah, listen, I do. I'm a fan of pedicures. My problem is, one, I get so worried about going to have a pedicure that I end up

sort of giving myself a pre pedicure pedicure because I get so worried about going to have a pedicure that I end up sort of giving myself a pre-pedicure pedicure because I'm so embarrassed about it. No, no, they shouldn't do that. People who do pedicures, that is their hobby, that is their lust, right? It's not their hobby, and it's not their hobby, and it's not their lust, Tom. So when you go in-

Do you know what, do you know what? I can imagine you just like, just going, I'm just heading out, cat, what's that? I'm just gonna go to the garden, gonna walk around in the saw barefoot. I know fucking love it. No, it's nice to give them a challenge Yeah I'm just gonna work on that gravel. Hopefully there'll be a couple of stones still embedded in the soul when I go get them sorted out Right, they've rather they've well have so that's at the end of it They could it's like cleaning ice to clean cards at my dad's garage when I was a kid a dirty old car came in the garage

I brought my hands with Glee. Oh, here we go. Let's give this a buddy. Yeah, and then it'd be shining afterwards Yeah, I did that. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same thing with yes. No, it's not that let me just stop you It's not it like what you said about the car thing. I totally get right. It is not the same Okay, as you turn it up with some fucking disgusting feet that you've deliberately neglected Because you think it's their love and their lust to fucking We invigorate When you turn up with your feet and you sort of shave them and you fucking like cut your toenails, right?

Don't scour what's the point of even being there? You've got this on your own Yeah, let me tell you something so I'm gonna say something now if you go I don't know if you got the same pedicure place every time when you're arriving Right, let me tell you say when they look at the appointment book and they see your name in there they All right, let me tell you so when they look at the appointment book and they see your name in there they have They have to really fucking give themselves a pep talk I imagine they look at it go to one of their colleagues ago got Tom Davis next Just walk into that walk into the walk into their changing room look in the mirror and they go right here we go

Tom Davis at 11 You've got this. You can do this. I know this is not what you got into this job for. So you what? You basically, you would shave your toes, right? I don't shave my toes. But what I mean is like,

I will probably like give my skin. Give my, give my, look, they're still dead skin to get rid of. But what I'll do is give my feet a proper extra scrub Do you mean like? Anyway, look what I mean is Standing in the shower and watching the water drip down to your feet is not washing your feet. Okay I know I know a hundred percent. That's what you do. Okay

I know I know I know a hundred percent that's what you do okay Yeah, I'll squeeze a bit of rados down there and then do this right and then go like this right yeah And then do that Hold on hold on hold on I Need to there's a bit to unpack there, so you rock backwards and rub your feet together So does that do is to sit down in the shed? So where are you rubbing? What are you rubbing your foot on? My leg Right, okay, but you've rubbed your feet together. Yeah, but you rub your feet together standing up. Look. Can you?

Yeah Show me Okay, that's not what you did, okay Okay, but that's not what you did. Look, there. Tom, Tom, okay, that is not... God. Tom, you did something... Obviously I can fucking rub, I can see see I can rub your feet together standing up

I'm talking about the way that you rubbed your feet together when you're going This is what I do and you rub the soles of your feet together Which led to the I mean you go you could do that standing up. Oh, can you yeah? Let me show you and then you do something completely fucking different No, but that's That is No, but that's... No, that is... No, wait, wait, wait. No, don't show me again.

Don't show me again. All right, do not show me again. Okay? Right, I'm just saying, it's doable. Right, yeah, I get it. You haven't got a, like, you glitchy... Would you bring your foot up, sort of like that, and do yours?

I give it a little bit of, like, a little massage, you know, massage the old shower gel between the toes. How often, like, now you're running and stuff, how often are you getting athletes foot? I got it once about a year ago and then I've just been so I hated having it so much that I've been so on top of like Making sure I don't get it again. It's not come back. Thank God Is it like her piece? It's sort of we've always got it, but it's just like dormant. I don't know the answer that question. So Well, I haven't currently got symptoms of athletes but but I guess according to dr. Tom I'm still a carrier unfortunately, so Tooth move or me or grax wanted to borrow some socks off you, you'd

have to say, oh I'm an athlete's foot sufferer. I guess so, yeah. If they ever did that then yes, I'd be sure to declare it to them. Anyway, I'm going through, are you alright? I'm just saying, if I ever stay at your house, you have to be. Yeah. Like if Theo were in your room. There's a lot that would have to happen. I'm gonna grab some of dad's cool socks, you know Yeah, I think I go no no no no say oh why the fuck hasn't he got his own socks before you the more likely

Anyway, I'm going through I'm going for airport security and I'm taking a bit of time to like get my stuff out. Cause I, some of the airports, they actually almost have a go at you for not getting your laptop out. Cause some of them, they've got a different type of machine now. So you start to take your laptop and obviously fell up with people taking time to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't take your laptop out. So that made me wait to see what the deal was right so as we get yeah so they go take

your laptop out so I go take my laptop out sort of my shit out the guy behind me goes mate do you want to get a bit of a move on and I went oh okay and then I did the classic Romesh thing of like going, oh yeah, sorry, so sorry. And then as I walked away, just muttering, what if I had any fucking, anything about me I would have said to his face. Do you know what I mean?

Like, a lot of times I've got- That's a George Costanza thing to do. Yeah, proper, I proper Costanza'd it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What would you have done in that situation? What if a guy was talking trash to me? Okay, Yeah, come on man. Okay. Oh, come on I've got better doing that now in my life. Okay. Hey, hey, there's a queue

I had to wait for someone before me just chill out for a second, bro Just chill would you say it like that? Do you want to do it? Yeah, you want to do it now? Yeah, cuz I I'll be the guy behind you What all right? Okay? Um, all right. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So how am I playing this? Am I taking your advice? Take my voice. Yeah, but I wouldn't you to be natural with it. All right, okay, so so he's with his wife Liz Liz come on for crying out loud. We'll be like we miss our flight. Oh, actually you could have taken your time. It's going front He's not even got his laptop out. Oh man. Hey buddy, hey mate, any chance you could get a bit of a move on? Well I'm actually I'm sort of moving as quickly as I can. You know it's just I

didn't realize you had to take your laptop out you know but so. Yeah mate, mate, come on. You never flown before? You must have man. Yeah I've. Come on. We you never flown before you must have man You've got many times. Have you seen have you seen a show? I'm a shrunken aphrodisiac No, maybe don't get it in New Zealand. You did you do actually you do so well. I haven't got it on my TV My I don't have a TV anymore. I fucking see to death of TV and show-offs. I hate showing off. It's my worst thing Okay, so it feels like a little bit like you're showing off now, to be honest with you, to your wife. Hey hey hey hey.

If you don't mind me saying. What's he saying, Brewster? Oh, he's kicking. He's got himself, he's one of those show-offs of TV. I wasn't being on! Have you been in anything good, love? Hey, stop calling him love, I've I've told you got a problem with that can I just can I just say right I'm sorry I didn't mean to I am moving as quick as I can now I'm sorry you're in a bit of a rush but what I would say to you is you sort of breathing down my neck does not make me want to move any quick hi Mike Mike there's a new zone and rugby team

coming through here they're pushing her she's pushing me, mate. What do you want me to do? Be the barrier between you and the rest of the world, you big crybaby? What's he saying, love? Is he okay? He's okay, he's just kicking off because he's worried about us being too far up his ass.

Can I ask you something, madam? Are you hard of hearing because the conversation's happening right by you. And you seem to have to keep asking your husband what's happened. What's she saying there, Bruce? That she's fine of hearing. She hears what she wants to hear, mate. She's had a little bit of a rough time of it

over the last couple of years. Yeah, I can imagine. She's got a lot of earwax. Have you been married a couple of years now, have you? She's got earwax build up, mate. It's no laughing matter. She's got a thick mound of earwax. We've been at 22, that's why we're out here now in New Zealand.

We've flown all the way from Australia. To get your ears serious. They've got an earwax specialist who did all the yorks in Lord of the Rings. They had awful earwax problems because of the latex that they wore. Do you really remind me of a guy I do a podcast with actually? He makes shit up as well.

What did you say? Who's he talking about? I don't know, he said he does a podcast like everybody else. Anyway, I'm moving as quick as I can. What was going on earlier with you and your friend over there? Security, your friend friends ass went dead Martin too smooth Yeah, that was in a different country, but thanks for following the story. Oh, come on, mate We've got time to hear your life story a big show off

What's your shadow for bad? Alright and same and say alright what you've got to do right? You've got to do more you straight away You're on the back foot. I can see what's happened. You've gotta be more like, yo, yo, yo. Yeah, I am on the back foot. Because I, no, no, but listen. You're a bunny, you're a bunny?

You do it to me, look. Okay, I'll be you in this thing. La la la la la, la la la. Uh, mate. Yeah, hello, you all right? Well, I would be, mate, if you were moving a little bit more quickly. Oh yeah, give us a second mate. I've just had a porn star just commented on one of my pictures, if you know what I mean. Well, I mean there's no what I mean about it mate.

You've been pretty clear on what, you just said it out right. Well yeah, as you can see I'm rather excited about the whole process Okay, sorry, can I just stop this a second what the fuck is going on Why am I suddenly become a pervert in this I'm doing like you I was a callback to the stuff you said. Yeah, I know it's a callback, but I don't understand why suddenly I'm this guy that's just getting repeatedly getting excited by this woman coming in on my post. Right, Tom, it's about that time. What a fun hour this has been.

Jesus. Okay, I'll be honest with you. I don't I don't really know how you're gonna summarize this. It's been quite a rollercoaster, but go for it. Flying town to town, country to country. Strange, isn't it? Being up there in the air. Down below the world goes on without you. Thinking about you, but without you. True this, for every Jed Server, there was a cold margarita and a hot margarita pizza

away from being really, really happy. Fish and chips love? Sounds nice. See you in two months time. I guess that's the thing about travel. We think there's no place like home. And whilst we're home we're thinking, cut, it'll be nice to go away again. What about living in a present?

That's why they call it a present, because it's a gift. And if you unwrap it, sit there and savour it and just spend the moment with it. Do you wish, friend? You've got yourself an ideology there that can last just about forever. That's what you want you to do. If you're sitting on the tube or on a bus or maybe you're giving it to work, I want you just to go like this and pretend you're unwrapping a present and a measuring one. He's doing a silent mime just so you know. And then just push it up like a cloud of doves and yeah you're not handing out a physical present, but what you are doing is passing goodwill and good nature Across the land friend you got this

Okay, really good Really really lovely man. Yeah, really lovely. I am I have been listening to this new album It's not that new actually but it's come out it came out this year by a rapper called Dochi well, and she's done an album called, let me try and find this, what this album, it's, it's Alligator Bites Never Heal, is what the album's called. And there's a song on it called Nissan Ultima, which is unbelievable.

So JT, could you play us out with that song? Tom Davis, it's been an absolute pleasure, my guy. It's always a joy, man. What a pleasure. Thank you once again for everyone that's bought tickets to the Ali Pali Christmas extravaganza. It's going to be a rip roll run. We're very excited about it. Mike T. Smith is going to take the place to park. It's going to be amazing.

Oh, I'm going to talk to you about it. Martin wants to contact, in fact, you need to speak to Martin about what music you want. Because Martin knows what sort of music I like, but he's desperate to know what sort of music he wants. And we've talked about this last time but he's also got quite an exciting plan that he's going to talk to you about. So listen, it's going to be great guys. Look forward to seeing you there. It's a good time to end your party too. Let's all celebrate the Wolf and Owl with you. Yeah, great. What better way to go out? See you next time guys If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.