Yannis Pappas Hour - Benefits of Bank Collapse
Episode Date: March 24, 2023Hot week in news, fetaverse! Firstly, who greatly benefits from bank collapse? Are they partly responsible for spreading panic online to lace their own pockets? Is Finland really the six time champion... of happiness? 6ix9ine is attacked again but this time while having a soothing Swedish sauna. Can’t the kid have a sauna in peace, for gods sakes!Manscapedhttps://www.manscaped.comCode: fumesBox of awesomehttps://www.bespokepost.com/startCode: fumesCerebralhttps://cerebral.comCode: fumesMorgan & Morganhttps://www.forthepeople.com/free-case-evaluation/get-a-lawyer/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=v1&utm_campaign=fumesSee Yannis live Dates & Cities belowAll tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comStamford CT April 7 & 8Tampa April 21-22Boston July 8Dallas Aug 24-26New York Nov 4Providence Nov 10-11Phoenix Nov 16-18Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Yannis Pappas Hour. News at the top of the hour every 10 minutes all day long.
A lot of exciting stuff going on.
In most important news, I just want to tell you real quick,
Tekashi69 has been assaulted again.
He was assaulted in Dubai at a nightclub, and he's been assaulted again.
I think the kid is just going to have to go through a series of perpetual assaults
until he's murdered for being a rat out of prison.
But listen, if he keeps getting tattoos, maybe he won't be recognized.
There's just a couple of pieces of bear skin left.
What he should do is tattoo another guy's face on his face.
And that'll be a way for him to not get jumped by all the people that hate him for being a rat
and having a big mouth.
Look, there's an old expression.
You made your bed, now get jumped in it.
Trump is going to be arrested.
We're getting ready for riots.
What's he being arrested for?
We don't know, but we will.
It does have something to do with him
banging a hooker or illegal documents or whatever the fuck
they can try to get him on for four or five
years. I mean they're trying to get
this guy and they can't. And I don't know
if any of these are real charges except for
we hate you. Can they just come out and
say we just hate you?
What are the charges? The charges are
you annoy us and we hate you.
Like okay
just at least you're being honest. Maybe he okay, just at least you're being honest.
Maybe he'll be like, at least you're being honest now.
We don't know.
We'll get to the bottom of it.
Thank God.
Novak Djokovic will not be allowed to participate in Indian Wells.
He didn't participate in Indian Wells,
and he's been rejected for the Miami Open.
Possibly, does that have indications he won't be able to compete
in the major U.S. Open?
Because of his vaccination status.
Thank God.
Because he could probably spend COVID to millions.
Thank God that the best tennis player of all time
won't be able to participate.
But he will be able to attend it in the stands
and sit with all the other fans real close.
Because nobody knows if those
people are vaccinated so you can get into the arena if you're not vaccinated plus it's the
miami open it's in florida how many people do you think are vaccinated in those stands i'll tell you
how many 12 so he can come and watch his match but he can't play in it because he's not vaccinated
and that is another installment of
This Makes No Fucking Sense, and
you may owe Joe Rogan an apology.
DeSantis is running
wild and just wants nobody
to talk about gender or
sexual orientation
ever. He's issuing
an order that you can conceal carry, and
if someone mentions the word gender, you can shoot them
in the head. It's a new Florida rule.
Two people have been shot.
Two administrators have been shot
in a school in Denver
and nobody cares because they didn't
die. And that's the new metric now.
They go, somebody was shot in a school. Did they
die? Okay, next.
Let's get back to talking about Tekashi69
because they're okay and they will recover Moderna's vaccine.
Will cost you 130 bucks
because the government fucking gravy train is over.
Subsidies are over.
We'll also talk about what the CEO of Moderna
has made in stock options during the pandemic. Jesse's
got the scoop on
that. Banking crisis is
banking going down. Meta's being
sued for not protecting against
sexual exploitation.
Finland has been
rated the happiest place
for the last six
years. Again, the happiest place on the planet.
We have some
contravening evidence to go over about Finland, mainly the fact that there's no sunshine and
they have the highest suicide rate, so what the fuck are you talking about, you're telling
me Finland's a happier place than fucking Miami, Florida, then you haven't been in Miami,
Florida, there's puss, puss everywhere, it's raining puss. Hallelujah. It's raining coke and puss and fucking exotic looking girls.
And Yachty Pappa's selling out with Marisa Tassi.
Also, Idaho is bringing back the firing squad.
We are going back to the brimstone fiery preachers.
We're banning gays.
We're bringing back the firing squad.
And fucking California is getting rained on hard.
Also, there's abortion bills all over America fucking getting signed.
Firing Brimstone.
It's back, baby.
So's Yanni, and so's my fly haircut.
Jesse's got his
fiance's reading glasses on
and Jared Harvin now looks 40.
Let's get into it and find
out what's going on in America.
What's up, Dallas, brother? So we'll start off with the most important news in America right now.
Tekashi 6ix969 has been jumped again.
I don't think there's a way for him to avoid getting jumped.
He's a rat snitch, and I think people are just jumping him
because he's a rat snitch, and they're doing it for fame.
Apparently he was in Florida, right, somewhere.
He was taking a sauna.
in Florida, right? Somewhere. He was in a, he was taking a sauna. What's Takashi69 doing,
using Swedish therapeutics for? I think he was taking a sauna without his security. I think he figured he'd be safe in the health club without the sauna. Little did he know there was a couple
of guys in there that beat the shit out of him in a video i mean they beat him they beat
him mercilessly and that part of it was filmed i think it was filmed by a guy who wasn't involved
either so he was just filming it yeah here's the deal if takashi69 is getting jumped and i'm there
i'm filming it it's filmable some people getting jumped is filmable some people aren't okay if i'm
walking down the street and somebody who is not famous is getting jumped i filmable Some people aren't If I'm walking down the street
And somebody who is not famous is getting jumped
I'm not stopping to film it
I'm running the other way to get away from it
But if Tekashi's 6'9", he's filmable
So
People are so stupid
The guy who beat him was like on camera
His face was on camera
And he's been arrested or whatever
But if you see a picture of the guy that beat him
he doesn't look like the type of dude who would care
if he got filmed doing that.
He's not a warm looking
guy. No, he's not very photogenic.
He looks like his parents, he definitely
didn't get his emotional needs met by his parents
when he was during his formative years.
He's hardened.
Instead of crying about it, he went the other way and got
hard about it. Yes, he did.
He punches others.
He likes to punch others because his dad didn't give him hugs when he needed it.
This is the second time he's been jumped.
The third time, it might be the end of Tekashi 6ix9ine
because the third time's a charm.
It's tough to get jumped in your socks.
And first of all, why is he wearing socks in the sauna?
What is he, Mauricio?
He's subconscious about his feet?
I don't want people to look at my feet.
They'll see it.
So he was wearing his socks in the sauna.
They dragged him out.
Did you see the one kick to the ribs?
Yeah.
That clean, big stomp to the ribs?
And the guys were big.
The thing is, Tekashi69's got a big fucking mouth.
When you live this life and you're on videos going,
rat-a-ta-ta, rat-a-ta-ta, all the time,
you can expect live by the gun, die by the gun.
You know?
Although, you know, that's not always true, right?
Because I think all of NWA's alive,
and one of them died from AIDS from
secretly banging a guy
he didn't die in some gangster shit
but also you know who did get shot was John Lennon
and all he sang about was peace
so sometimes the script
changes sometimes it doesn't
go by the rules
but I think when you rap about
I think if you have
in a couple of your songs,
there's a good chance you might get ratatatatatatatat.
So it's called getting a taste of your own medicine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So 6ix9ine's attorney, Lance Lazaro.
How you doing, Tekashi?
I heard what fucking happened.
I'm on the case.
He was inside the sauna
He was having a sauna
Having a little sauna
Yo you think he was in there
Like yo what's up man
Stakasi you hurt
Fuck yeah you hurt
By the way he says the N word
All the time
I mean he says it with the A at the end
Nobody thinks he's saying that
But he can say it Why can't a Mexican guy say it And a white guy he says it with the A at the end. Nobody thinks he's saying that, but he can say it.
Why can't a Mexican
guy say it and a
white guy can't?
Because with the
amount of tattoos he
has, he can pass
his black.
He can pass his
black.
He's darker with
those tattoos.
And his fucking
bubble gum, he's got
all that rainbow hair.
Yeah.
He's very LGT.
His hair is very
LGTBQ friendly.
When he sweats, it
looks like he's in a
Gatorade commercial.
It does.
Put this dude on a fucking pride flow.
Why is he at an LA Fitness?
Dude, why is he at an LA Fitness?
Why is he in the sauna?
Yeah.
Because you know who goes into the sauna?
Fat, pale dudes
who like to drape a towel over their toe
while their fucking cock and balls are out
with a big gut
hiding their little fucking shrimp penis
or gay guys sending messages to other gay guys.
The sauna is a gay fucking meetup club
where guys send messages to each other.
I used to work in a fitness club
and that was something that we dealt with.
The way you said fitness club though
makes me think that you were in the sauna. club yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah hey hey
goodbye he definitely had to qualify that information yeah
you spit your lunch breaks in the locker room for sure There's no way to Masculinely do this dance
Look I'm gonna try
To make it masculine
I can't
Whenever you palms up
You can't
Yo son what you say about me
You talking shit
No
You throw a palm
Yo come here
I'm gonna beat you up
You can't
Yo fuck you dude
Look I'm gonna try
To be as masculine as possible
Yo fuck you dude
Fuck you dude
Yeah
Can't do it.
You either look gay or you look like a puppet.
Yeah.
So this is his second time.
He got beat up at a Dubai club as well by some DJ.
They called him a rat or whatever, and then he just converged on him.
You know, he was all happy about being a rat, too.
He's like, I'm a rat, but I'm still top of the billboard chart, son.
He's walking around throwing money on the floor. Yeah, you can't blend in with rat too. He's like, I'm a rat, but I'm still top of the billboard chart, son. He's walking around throwing money on the floor.
Yeah,
you can't blend in
with this look.
Yeah,
it's such a weird
American thing
to throwing money
on the floor
and like bragging
about the money
and like at his cars.
You ever see those videos
he does where he's just
throwing money on the floor
and he's just,
look at all this money.
I could throw it on the floor.
It's like,
who cares?
But people care.
You ever see guap videos when people
eat money or using the money as
a block of to talk? What the fuck is
that? Well, you guys do it at the Greek weddings.
Throw money. We throw money at the dances.
By the way, yeah, we're the
original. Did you know that? No. Yeah.
Make it rain? Greeks been doing
that shit for centuries, maybe
a thousand years. That's nice. Yeah. We can't do
it now, though. Why? The country of Greece can't do it
now, though. Yeah, the financial crisis, they had to
throw pennies. You wouldn't make it hail.
Yeah. They were throwing
IOUs. They were throwing
debts at weddings. They're going, I'll pay
you later. I'll pay you later. I'll pay you later.
I'll pay you later. A lot of strippers going home with bruises.
Yeah. In fact, that's why
I think the Greek financial crisis, why they took the
loans that they did from Germany,
is because they're like,
yo, we need some of these euros to throw at weddings.
So the economy of throwing money at weddings
needed some cash flow,
like the banks that are collapsing.
The fun thing about banks, banking systems, and money
is not a lot of people understand it. If
everyone understood it, we'd all be able to get rich because these guys don't do anything. Bankers,
stockbrokers, hedge funds guys, they don't do anything. They don't have a skill, a talent,
or a craft, or a trade. All they know is the secrets of fucking money and markets, which is all bullshit
based on supply and demand of imaginary shit or based on how they trump up something and make it
sound like it's necessary. Like Bitcoin. Bitcoin's not a fucking actual thing. Neither are dollars,
right? But at least dollars signify something. It's like, I'll give
you this amount because it's worth that amount. There's a market, oh, you'll get this salary
because that's what the market, that's what it goes for. It's a higher skilled job, blah, blah,
blah. You can put a number on that. Bitcoin is just how much, the worth is how much people want
it and how much of it there is. So it's different from money.
But all these banks are crashing, and I wonder how much of a role,
especially with social media, all these doomsdayers have in the panic that ensues when people take their money out of banks
because all day they're online.
Because all these people, they're not out there mining fields or making cars they're out there all day like this pushing keys going what's this
market doing move this money move this money over here move this so and they're also on twitter
listen to people how mad how much do these doomsdayers influence these people when they're
like it's gonna collapse all these people who coincidentally always own Bitcoin and have a very, very, very big monetary financial interest
in the banks collapsing and always preach it because they own Bitcoin and that will drive
the value of Bitcoin up, which coincidentally right now as of today is up amid these bank failures. I wonder how much they drive the market, right? Just like
the gorilla fucking cartoons. That was a complete market created by, you know, people going,
this is the new shit. And people are like, I guess it's the new shit. Steph Curry's got one.
Mike Tyson's got one. I guess it's the new shit. But you know what happened is somebody paid Mike
Tyson and Steph Curry to put that shit up to make it hot so then they could make money.
Good scam.
Don't get me wrong, but scam nonetheless.
SVP collapse was driven by the first Twitter-fueled bank run.
What they mean by that is the Silicon Valley Bank was a social media bank, right, Jess?
You got me.
I'll tell you what.
Jesse, with those glasses,
you're supposed to know how to answer that question.
No, you know what this is?
It's like this is one of the good times when not having any money is,
because this is not my issue.
It's nothing to lose.
Yeah, I got no money.
This is not my issue.
So the massive amount of customer withdrawals
that led to the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank
had all the hallmarks of an old-fashioned bank run.
But with a new twist befitting the primary industry,
the bank served.
Much of it unfolded online.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Right.
Customers withdrew $42 billion in a single day last week
from Silicon Valley Bank,
leaving the bank with $1 billion in negative cash balance.
The company said in a regulatory
filing the staggering withdrawals unfolded at a speed enabled by digital banking and were likely
fueled in part by a viral panic spreading on social media platforms and reportedly in private
chat groups dude listen if i owned a lot of bitcoin if i owned a lot of Bitcoin, if I owned a lot of crypto, I'd be on there in those chats.
I'd even have moles in there.
I'd be like, Joe, just spread the word.
Get your money.
Don't trust the dollar.
It's going to collapse.
Banks are going to collapse.
Put your money in Bitcoin.
It's safe.
The data leading up to the bank's collapse,
multiple prominent venture capitalists took to Twitter in particular
and used their large platforms to raise alarms about the situation, sometimes typing in all caps.
Some investors urged startups to rethink where they kept their cash.
Founders and CEOs then shared tweets about the concerning situation at the bank in private Slack channels, according to the Wall Street Journal.
Yes. The first Twitter-fueled bank run, they're calling this. So this will go down in history as like, this shit happened so fast because it was Twitter. It used to be word of
mouth. Like, oh my God, oh my God, things are collapsing. Did you read the paper? Oh my God,
I read the paper. I spoke to a friend who read the paper and it was a little slower. This shit, if there is a good old-fashioned run
on the bank now that has nothing,
and look, I'm not, you can't solely blame those people,
although I know they played a role,
but it's the interest rates, right?
Shit is tough right now.
This is not a good time, right?
For loans, for buyers, for sellers, you know.
It's been a good time and the good times are up
and interest rates are up.
But because of these crashes,
I think the Fed is going to halt
any further increases
in the interest rates for a second.
Because they're like,
okay, let's just chill for a second.
It's all about like
they're just putting the dick in
and when it goes a little too far,
they go, okay, pull it back a little.
Pull it back a little.
That was a little too far of a stroke.
It's like when Mr. Hans was fucking the horse
and he got the little bit and then that deep,
remember that deep stroke where he goes,
oh, he makes that noise?
That was the best stroke.
The noise that indicated that stroke killed him?
That's what they don't want.
They want a little, oh, but they don't want like a full,
oh, they don't want a full like that.
So they're going to go,
hey, we're not going to raise interest rates right now.
But that's the main reason I think this is all going down, right?
So it's Silicon Bank, Signature Bank,
and then the more important one was Credit Suisse in Switzerland,
which their whole fucking economy is based on having criminals,
war criminals, generals, dictators,
and fucking crooked CEOs and drug dealers
hide their fucking money in Switzerland,
where they just go, we're neutral, we're Swiss, Roger Federer,
eat chocolate, leave us alone.
You're like, yeah, you got all crime money there,
because nobody asks questions.
So that's their whole economy.
So they can't afford to have Credit Suisse,
which is one of their two big banks, collapse.
So what the government did of Switzerland is they orchestrated a purchase of Credit
Suisse by their former rival UBS Bank for $3.2 billion as they look to shore up the
global banking system because so many, you know, they're managing money of people all over the world.
So this would have ripple effects all over the world.
Yeah, they're concerned about the contagion.
Yeah, so this is a bailout similar to 2008,
and all these banks internationally,
Bank of England, Federal Reserve,
all these central banks have come together
to ensure that this goes smoothly.
And the same thing with Signature Bank and the other bank I mentioned.
What was it?
Signature and the other one.
SVB.
Silicon Valley Bank.
Silicon Valley Bank.
So they orchestrated buyouts of those.
Don't sleep on JP Morgan.
They might be behind this too.
Why do you think that? I love your conspiracy theories.
Well, because then they... less banks, right?
Well, it's either JP Morgan or the Jews!
Isn't that the same thing?
Well, I don't know. Was JP Morgan... Was he Jewish? Oh, hell no. He wasn't, Well, I don't know.
Was J.P. Morgan, was he Jewish?
Oh, hell no.
He wasn't, right?
I don't think so.
None of them.
Was Charles Schwab?
I know the Rockefellers are.
Everyone focuses on them,
but J.P. Morgan wasn't.
I think he was Scottish or something, right?
Oh, wait, here we go.
New York's German Jewish investment bankers.
Can you play Havanagila music over this?
This is a whole term paper.
Okay, yeah, we don't want to get into that.
The Bilderbergs, I think, were Jewish.
Oh, Spaghetti House.
What do they do?
They run the world.
That's all I know about the Bilderbergs.
Yeah, yeah.
They do meetings, Bilderbergs?
Oh, no, the Rothschilds. That's what it was. Oh, the Rothschilds. Bilderbergs. Yeah, yeah. They do meetings, Bilderbergs? Oh, no, the Rothschilds.
That's what it was.
Oh, the Rothschilds.
Bilderbergs also sounds Jewish.
The Rothschilds are a Jewish banking family.
How about J.P. Morgan?
Look up J.P. Morgan Jewish.
That's all you got to do.
Jesse just typed in Jewish bankers.
So now we are being totally watched by the Mossad.
You can't just type in Jewish bankers on Google
and know that they're not going to trace you.
Yes, this podcast is going to be sponsored by the ADL.
Jesse, you're going to get a photo sent to you by the Mossad
of you and your dick in your hand like this.
And just a picture of the shemale porn you were watching like this.
And they're going to go, we know.
Be careful.
Be careful.
Mayor and Nathan Rothschild.
Uh-oh.
J.P. Morgan.
The father and son.
So he was Jewish.
Paul Warburg.
Oh, boy.
Junius and J.P. Morgan. Oh, wait. So he was Julius and J.P. Morgan.
Oh, wait, so he was Jewish, J.P. Morgan?
Armando?
No, let's see.
The father and son.
That'll explain why the lot of...
How about you just type in, is J.P. Morgan Jewish?
Yeah, that's a little bit better.
I mean, what do you put?
Yeah, is J.P. Morgan...
Is J.P. Morgan...
You're beating around the menorah, Jesse.
No easy answers there. There's no easy answers. Is J.P. Morgan? Is J.P. Morgan? You're beating around the menores, I see.
No easy answers.
There's no easy answers.
They're trying to bury it.
Wait, what does Quora say?
Who are the Jewish banking families?
Oh, let's go to Quora.
Who are they?
We got the Goldman's and their partners, the Sachs.
We got the Lehman's.
Their bank was originally partnered with two other Jewish families.
We got the Kunz and the Loebs and the Lazards.
They're French American.
We got the Rothschilds.
They were German Jews.
We got the Warbugs.
They were British Jews. We got the Stearns, the Wendels, and the Weinbergs.
They're American, German, French, and international Jewish banking families.
We don't have enough chairs in this room to host them up at the wedding.
We also got, what did it say?
The names of the latter predictably are very much WASP-y rather than Jewish sounding.
Chase, J.P. Morgan, Kidler, Peabody, and Mellon Merrill Lynch.
J.P. just stands for Jewish person.
Wait, but it didn't stop the most successful banks from climbing to the top.
Where does it go?
So here's something to keep in mind.
While 19th century France, Germany, and Britain had no problems doing business with Jews,
in America, anti-Semitism locked the Jewish banking houses out of the business.
The segregation against American Jews lasted all the way to the latter half of the 20th century,
but it didn't stop the most successful banks from climbing to the top.
Many corporations did business with Jewish firms like We Got the Goldman Sachs or Lehman Brothers, but it was quite
common for governments, utilities, and private corporations to refuse to work with Jewish-run
firms or Jews to be hired by the banks they did not work for. The names of the latter predictably
are very waspy. Wow, so they changed their names? Rather than Jewish-sounding Chase, J.P. Morgan,
Kidder Peabody, Mellon, Merrill Lynch, First Boston, Payne, Weber, Dillon, Redd, and so on.
It's thus pretty ironic that Goldman today
is sometimes referred to as a white shoe investment bank
because in the 19th and early 20th century,
white shoes specifically denoted the Gentile banks
preferred by Ford, Armour, Vandible, or whoever.
Wow, so they're all Jewish.
I'm sorry.
We didn't want to add to this conspiracy
Well, I don't know why they'd be behind it
Why?
Why would they?
Oh, because they want to buy them all up?
Yeah, less banks, less competition, right?
So you have to
Free the monopoly
Yeah
They don't want the literal guy
Yeah
So they're basically the
Banks make money on the budget
They're like the Walmart of banks
Right
Right Well, there you have it We were trying to look into it Basically, the... Banks make money on the budget. They're like the Walmart of banks. Right. Right.
Well, there you have it.
We were trying to look into it to give evidence
of how all of them are not Jewish bankers,
but pretty much they all are.
Turns out they are.
Which just means they did good.
Anyone could have got into the banking industry.
They didn't.
They were too busy doing that, you know?
You know, and also,
domination usually comes out of oppression
you notice that right blacks think about this were blacks allowed to play baseball were they
allowed to play football were they allowed to play basketball no they weren't they were discriminated
what did that make blacks do work harder work become better and now they dominate it yeah when
you get there you got to show your ass. Same thing the Jews did in business, in banking.
Hava Nagila Hava.
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So in any event.
Hopefully this stems off a panic.
Because what happens if everyone starts pulling their money out.
And we got problems.
Problems.
And you know what?
It's so weird when you go.
When you're like a kid asks you why.
And you go well here's the deal.
The bank takes my money
and gives it to someone else at a loan, hoping that they'll pay it back. And they just keep
doing that ad infinitum and they make all this money back off of loans. They all have us in debt
because we want to buy things we can't afford. And the prices become so high because the market
gets driven up
because everyone is doing that.
So you just take a loan
and then you pay back that mortgage
for the rest of your life or whatever it is.
And then the kid goes,
that's weird, they're giving away your,
how do they have the right to give away your money?
And you go, that's a good question.
But nobody, but shut up.
It's a good question.
Did you know that's how it works?
Yeah.
Everyone knew.
Isn't that wild?
How's that legal?
But then again,
they wouldn't be able to make any money otherwise.
That's how banks make money.
And they're providing you a service, right?
They provide you a big service.
They hide your money.
They hold your money
so you don't have to keep it behind the mattresses.
You know?
But you don't care.
You don't care as long as it gets done you don't care what's
in your mcdonald's burger you know as long as the horse meats get shipped to you right there also
comes a point when you're younger and you find out this stuff here's something i'll explain that's
very i think people will find fun when you're younger and you find this stuff out you're young
and full of piss and vinegar so you're going that's not right and then you get older and you find this stuff out. You're young and full of piss and vinegar. So you're going, that's not right.
And then you get older and you go, nothing's right.
So you have to choose amongst things that aren't right
because nothing's right because we're alive.
And like everything, there's no perfect thing.
Even when you say like, oh, don't kill animals, Like everything, there's no perfect thing.
Even when you say like, oh, don't kill animals,
you're going like, well, only eat vegetarian.
You go like, you do know that in order to grow all that food,
you got to kill a lot of animals, right?
You do know that you got to have animals to kill bunnies and things because what they'll do is go eat your vegetables.
So in order to have that garden,
you got to,
and then bugs are going to eat it.
So you got to use a pesticide.
You got to kill millions and millions.
You have to do a genocide for a head of lettuce.
Things are going to die.
And then how about this?
When a tree grows big and it keeps growing,
everything under it gets killed.
It kills everything under it because no sun comes in.
So then you start to realize
everything is a trade-off
for life is fueled by death.
You have to kill things in order to live.
And then you're old and you realize that
and you go like,
listen, I understand they're using my money,
but it's a pretty good system
as long as everyone just keeps
being addicted to buying stuff
that they can't afford.
And you're going, well, that's unhealthy. And you go, yeah, it is. But don't these fucking
new Jordans look fly? They look fly. God, I'm jacked up off this caffeine.
You can't just tear it all down and live in a utopia because that doesn't work either.
This, although it's a messed up, you know, tastes good man hey if you don't like sausage go eat vegan
right if you don't like this stuff then don't put your money in a bank see how fast you get robbed
you will get robbed word will get out that you have all this money in your mattress and you will
get robbed so they do provide a service they hide your money and then they take your money and they
give it to someone else hoping that everyone won't take their money out of the bank,
which occasionally everyone does because they get scared.
People get scared and they go, where's my money?
I need my money now.
I need my money.
They're like good fellas.
Yeah.
Your money's coming.
Bubba, your money.
I want my money.
I want your money.
And that's when Jimmy Conway comes in and chokes you out with a fucking phone cord.
Mm-hmm. And you get, you know, and that's when Jimmy Conway comes in and chokes you out with a fucking phone cord.
So we'll see what happens.
We'll see what will happen. But this could be a very bad thing if this doesn't work.
If this stabilizing action that all these regulatory and central banks, regulatory bodies and central banks took
to stabilize the banking industry
because everything has global ripples now.
Everything has global ripples.
You'll feel it in Finland.
You know, when the economy gets hurt,
people stop buying.
All the industries of where things get made
get stunted.
They got to lay off. It's all connected now. We things get made, get stunted, they got to lay off.
It's all connected now.
We're globally connected, right?
But apparently even Finland will be happy no matter what.
Even if nobody's buying their fucking fish or their igloos
or whatever they're making and sending it to the rest of the world.
So apparently for the sixth year in a row,
this article wants me to believe
and whatever the council of article wants me to believe,
and whatever the Council of Happiness wants me to believe,
that Finland is like the 90s Bulls,
and they've won six championships for the happiest country in the world.
I've been to Finland many times.
It's got the charm of the Soviet Union, and it's got sunlight for three minutes in the winter,
eight months out of the year.
How the hell is it the happiest place in the country?
Those people get so drunk because they're miserable.
It's the World Happiness Report.
I mean, what is that?
How would you even, what do you do?
You call them on the phone?
Are you happy?
Oh, I'm very happy. i'm from finland very happy
guys they're chugging their it depends if you call a finnish guy if you make these calls to get this
poll from may till august right they'll say they're the happiest people in this world make the calls
in the middle of February.
No one's going to answer the phone.
Nobody's going to answer the phone because they've all chewed a gun.
Please hold your representative is hanging from a ceiling fan.
Right.
But according to them, the Gallup World Poll evaluates GDP per capita,
social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity, and corruption.
You know, you're going to be happy when everyone thinks you're gay anyway.
Listen, listen, is that, so stability makes you happy, really?
Is that why there's so many good movies coming out of Finland about mobsters?
No.
Yeah, sure, you guys got a good social net,
but do you have an absolute army of fentanyl zombies that can attack and eat people
at any moment do you have multi-billionaires and homeless people in the same three block radius
you don't you don't got that variety though guess what who tells the best stories and who's
your funnest friends the ones who are are fucking balanced out like Jesse Scaturo,
who are doing smoothies for breakfast and getting nine hours of sleep?
Or is it me that's having a panic attack in a hotel room in Madison, Wisconsin?
Because I'm living on the edge.
Chasing the dragon.
The best life is fueled by Klonopin.
Extremes.
Who's to say people who live moderately
or have social nets are any happier
to people who are living on the edge?
People living on the edge create drama
and have fun.
Yeah.
Yeah?
I mean, is there a Finnish mafia?
No.
Are there Finnish school shootings?
No.
How exciting is that going to school,
going like, it will be this be the day?
You know, like, is this my last day of class?
You know, it adds to some excitement.
It does.
They don't have the extremes.
So Finlanders felt strongly that they were free
to make their own choices
and showed minimal suspicion of government corruption.
Yeah, they're free to make their own um about everything except when they can get booze because they're a complete
nanny state and you have to get booze from a government store during certain hours and there's
like curfews and stuff on all those scandinavian countries denmark iceland israel and the netherlands
rounded out the top five now here's the deal the deal. They do have a great country.
They've been there.
They're very clean.
But you know what?
It's very easy to run a country of fucking 9 million people
who are mostly homogeneous, right?
And, you know, but also they are on the border of Russia
and they're constantly paranoid that Russia is going to invade them.
They could catch it at any second.
Yeah, you know, that's a scary thing to live amongst all those countries
and anything could go down.
Guess what?
I'd rather live in the red, white, and blue
where the only threat is for me to get killed by one of my own
because at least it's an American death
and we both are from the same country.
You know what I mean?
I'd rather get killed by an American
than killed by someone from another
country yeah yeah and i want to know i can live in a country where the death will be counted as
covid anyway i want to know even if i even if there's a chance that i'll get shot in the street
because homicide rates are so high i want to know that i can get a goddamn decent slice if i want
you know what i'm saying yeah you can't get a decent slice in finland yeah the food there is
atrocious you don't want to die next to a jar of pickled herring.
Listen, there's only so many fucking fish eggs and pickled herring I can eat.
Yeah.
There's only so much grappa I can drink.
You're Finland.
They do supposedly have the best education system, though, as well.
So there's your little Giannis Papasour fact
of the day.
High levels of both
personal and institutional trust. The U.S.,
meanwhile, comes in number
15th. Yeah. Is that why we're number
one in the Olympics every year?
That doesn't make sense. There's trade-offs.
There's trade-offs. Yeah. Is that why
we create the best... What's the best music
coming out of Finland right now? What's the best music coming out of Finland right now?
What's the best athletes coming out of Finland right now,
except for that kid Markanian who's nice on the Bulls?
That Finnish kid.
Laurie.
What's his name?
He's on the Jazz now.
He's on the Jazz now, and they're good.
Laurie Markan?
Markan, yeah.
Yeah, he's a Finnish kid.
Big old Viking-looking Finnish fuck.
I don't really know his name,
but I know the E in his name has two dots over it for some reason.
That means he's Finnish, yeah.
Germany, United Kingdom, France, Costa Rica, four spots ahead.
Or where it ranked in 20...
You're telling me a country that you can die in your bed by snake bite is ahead of the United States?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, how do they measure this?
Of the 137 countries ranked,
Afghanistan was considered the least happy nation.
Well, isn't it relative?
Because, look, I'd rather live in Afghanistan than live in Turkey during an earthquake.
I'd rather live in Afghanistan and be gay
on the sneak tip than in Uganda right now.
Uganda just passed a law
that being gay is illegal.
Isn't that funny
that being gay
is like stealing fruit
at the store?
They're like,
that's illegal.
Wild.
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Dude, why are people so threatened by homosexuality?
It's wild.
Like, really think about it.
What is that, dude?
Uganda Parliament passed this bill criminalizing,
identifying as LGBTQ.
And guess what?
They imposed the death penalty for some of the offenses
correlated to that.
Yo, if you sat someone down and asked them seriously,
like, why is that a crime?
Man, the person who commits the offense of aggravated homosexuality.
Let me tell you something, man.
All things are not equal.
All cultures are not equal.
All ideas are not equal.
True.
Ideas, cultures, they don't have a race.
All religions are not equal.
All spiritual, it's not.
There's good ideas and bad ideas.
They don't have a race.
They don't have a sexuality.
They don't have a gender.
It's ideas.
You can adopt good ideas or bad ideas.
You can do whatever you want.
But there's good ideas and bad ideas.
And they exist outside of the human experience.
Human experience has access to them and can choose.
These are bad ideas.
They're just bad ideas to protect the church culture.
That doesn't go great.
The church culture, I'm sorry, doesn't go great.
The dark ages really respected the church culture. That doesn't go great. The church culture, I'm sorry, doesn't go great. The Dark Ages really respected the church culture.
Yeah.
You know?
Galileo got hurt
because he got a little boo-boo
because he didn't respect the church culture.
The objective of the bill was to establish
a comprehensive and enhanced legislation
to protect traditional family values.
I mean, are gay people really threatening family values?
No.
And there's also some traditional family values in Africa that is gay.
Like in some countries when a baby is circumcised, he gets circumcised and the leader of that village has to put it on the tip of a banana and eat it.
That's real.
What?
Tell it to me again.
So when a baby gets circumcised in parts of Africa, in a village, or parts of their village,
where it's customary that the baby gets circumcised, the skin is put on the tip of a banana,
and the leader of the village must eat it.
Why?
I don't know.
Because it's customary to bring another man
into the family.
I don't know is the logical answer to that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's the only answer.
I'm sure they have a reason.
But you're telling me that is less gay
than listening to Celine Dion?
No.
It's definitely not.
Oh, man.
Let's cut the bullshit.
I think primarily it's probably as a result of slavery or African culture keeping the tribe going.
You can't do that if the gays are not having butt sex.
You can't really do that to keep the tribe going, to keep the people fruitful.
So probably that's the extension of that.
I don't know what it is, but it's weird.
And groups around the world being, you know,
genocide and being taken into slavery.
You know, your lineage gets cut short,
so you want to be able to extend that.
I get that maybe, but, you know.
Well, it's anywhere where the religion,
where religion is stronger.
You go to the Middle East, you can't be gay.
You can't be gay in the Middle East either.
You can't be gay in any Christian, you know.
In Russia, it's tough to be gay in certain parts.
Yeah.
Maybe it's just because the people who are living in those areas
don't want gay people to have fun because they can't.
Yeah.
You're surrounded by desert and you see this guy fucking dancing to the sun.
Yes.
You know?
Yes.
You can't.
That probably is part of it.
They're threatened by the fun of it.
He was like, yo, if I can't have fun, you can't either.
Muzzies are not open-minded about this.
No.
Anyway, that's what it is.
In Uganda, there will be no Pet Shop Boys touring in Uganda.
It's off the tour list.
It is off the tour.
There will be no parade in Uganda this year.
But it really does go like, you know,
when you hear something like this, you go,
is America that bad?
Is it that tough?
I don't think so.
Here's an alternative.
Go try it out.
Try on those.
See if these pants fit.
I don't know what to tell you.
All I know is that a man was attacked by a mountain lion in Colorado in his own hot tub.
There's a movie about this, man.
They just made Cocaine Bear.
Right.
Yeah.
Why don't we do Gay Mountain Lion?
Horny Gay Mountain Lion. Right. right yeah why don't we do gay mountain lion horny gay mountain lion right mountain i a mountain lion eats a spanish fly tries to fuck guys in hot tubs now these are fun movies we may be entering a
nonsensical uh age of movies like that you know like cocaine bear yeah sharknado shit like that
because people just want to see the
most absurd because they just want a palate cleanser and i kind of feel because i kind of
feel a tug to want to see these movies just something that can really turn your brain off
because he i've had enough of all the bad news and dude it's really we're getting into fire and
brimstone shit with like these different abortion laws and like Uganda. I mean, it's really, things are really, you got to get dumb, you know,
you got to have fun. Here's a good one. Here's a good one that I love,
which is, um, which is, um, the, uh,
which was the, the right acting like the woke left.
And this is how crazy it gets. Right. And this is why the extremes are always more similar
than they like to admit.
In West Texas, Texas A&M,
the president canceled the drag show.
And his reasoning was,
he felt that drag show was demoralizing for women.
He used the analogy of it's blackface for women. It's like doing blackface,
but for women. So now that's something that you'd hear in woke culture, right? Like, hey,
you can't do this accent. You can't do that accent. You can't do an Asian accent. You can't
do a South Asian accent. Get rid of a poo. A poo is offensive. The stereotypical, stereotypical. So that's exactly what you'd hear
as an extreme left argument is now an extreme right. You're going, oh, that's offensive to
women. You know, you're going, okay, how could, it's actually checkmate because if the left were
to argue against this and go like, what are you talking about? It's like, well, isn't it offensive
to, if you're not South Asian,
to do a South Asian character?
And the left will go,
well, yeah, I guess so.
Oh, God.
This is the moment
where the two boxers
knock each other out simultaneously.
Yes, they just knock each other out
because they go,
yeah, I guess so.
Then they go,
well, isn't it the same
if you're not a woman
to act like a woman?
Isn't that offensive
and demoralizing?
Oh, I guess so.
And furrowed brows and fucking whipping themselves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This episode is brought to you by Columbe Coffee.
Yeah.
After I haven't had caffeine for three weeks.
You never know what to expect when you turn on the Giannis Papasour
There's plenty of places and podcasts you can go
To watch marketed bullshit
By people who are half-assing it
And don't care about the quality of their show
And are just having guests on
And writing algorithms and bullshitting
And pretending to be things that they're not
And making stuff up And fucking telling stories and telling other people's stories and doing
whatever the fuck they can do to fucking get attention.
There's plenty of that out there and it's the same shit every week.
But when you come to the Honest Pappas Hour, you are going to feel everything.
Authenticity at its finest.
You're going to feel everything and that's fine.
There's at least one place where I give it to you straight.
It's uncut fucking yellow brownish cocaine.
It ain't cut with baking soda.
You're getting surgery and there's no anesthesia.
Yeah.
I ain't pretending to be something I ain't.
It's St. Reality TV.
It's one place.
One place.
I'll be that.
I will be that podcast for people who feel like they're normal and they want to laugh
at everything.
There are no sacred cows here.
I do not care what someone says.
I am not going to gear this podcast for one niche market, baby.
I'm going to do what I want to do.
And at least you can come to one place and feel the rock and roll, baby.
It's a pop.
There's plenty of pop shit out there.
You know, there's plenty of that NSYNC shit.
Hot for two years.
Pop, pop, bah.
Never be a fan of you.
But I guarantee you I'll be around here in 20 years
doing a fucking geriatric door.
Ah.
Now, DeSantis is just getting rid of all talk of gender.
He don't want you talking.
Now, I want to admit,
when you, depending on when you,
this is one of those things,
when you hear it secondhand,
you go like, I'm against that.
And then when you read the specifics of the article,
you go like, I kind of agree.
It's a tough one.
Let's talk this one out here.
It's been dubbed Don't Say Gay. so again, what did they do the other time where they dubbed his other thing, was it don't say gay, yeah,
but so it's, the dub say gay bill is not what he called it, it's important to know that critics
called it that, because all the newspapers just started calling it don't say gay, so it's important to know that critics called it that because all the newspapers were just started calling it. Don't say gay. So it's important to know that critics have,
they have marketed as the don't say gay.
Um,
but here is what it actually is.
Okay.
He came up,
uh,
the amendment put forth by the state of education department would expand the
ban on instruction of sexual orientation or gender identity to
students beyond pre-kindergarten through third grade.
But now he wants to add it for grades four to 12.
Such instruction will be prohibited unless expressly required by state academic standards
or as part of a reproductive health lesson, which is what you said,
for which a student's parent has the option to have their child opt out.
This sounds pretty fucking reasonable to me.
That sounds solid.
But I do understand the concern from the left going like,
this can be interpreted by bigots to just fucking ban,
you know, like, I understand that.
And it's also hard to back that plan
when the media is naming it something worse than it actually is, you know like i understand that and it's also hard to back that uh plan when the media
is naming it something worse than it actually is you know it's it's a media might as well said that
ron de santis called for the assassination of rupaul it might as well have yeah might as well
have but also i do understand the concern that like when this gets into the hands of people
in particular places how are they going to enforce it and what are they going to do it can either go
left or right it matters if they have an agenda or not.
So it's tough.
Whenever you ban anything, it's tough.
You also got to be concerned with the teacher's agendas, right?
You might have a teacher that's trying to push some LGBTQ agenda on young kids.
Yeah, I can 100% agree with you.
And that teacher is going to have a scarf.
Republican lawmakers are also looking to ban the use of preferred pronouns for students
and teachers in Florida schools.
I'm with that shit when it comes to the kid thinking that they a cat and shit.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you should, you can ban it by law.
That's something you just go, hey, we're not doing that in this classroom.
And then you just don't fire the teacher.
And then you can't make a law about that.
You know, you can't make a law. You can have a policy. You can't make a law about that. You can't make a law.
You can have a policy.
You can have policy. What scares me is
is this going to be a law?
That's what scares me is like it's a law.
It should be school policy.
So I don't know what the difference is.
Like what happens if they do it? Do they go to jail?
That's not cool. They shouldn't go to jail
if they fucking do it.
Or you get fired or you violate policy i hope it's something like that
look i don't know much about this i know it's a third real topic so all i'll say
is what i read there seems pretty reasonable to me but i also understand the concern is like what
happens you go to jail if you don't do it that's not good too and also i understand like what the
implications will be that if it gets into the hands of bigots and what they can do and like oppress gay people.
I understand that too.
That's why these things require like rational discussion where people in the middle talk, where people who are not gay phobic but also can understand like people like that.
Where are you?
Where is everyone? they're listening to the
show name of the episode where is everybody because that is mostly everybody i travel the
entire country dude we travel the country we talk to people all the time i'm online i'm everywhere
i talk to people most people are just not fucking that. Most people are just like, cool.
Fuck yeah, RuPaul's doing her thing.
But also, like, yeah, can you not fucking teach my child to use them as her pronoun?
Don't push it down.
Like, most people are, where is everybody?
No one's represented.
It's like when you go to your friend's party and no one's there yet and only two people there are Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson.
Yeah, I mean.
And you're like, yo, these are your fucking friends.
Can everyone just start talking up and just stop being so scared and be like, I can see both sides and let's talk about it?
It's unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
So, Meta, Zuckerberg's getting sued because of a failure to respond to sexual exploitation on his platforms.
I think it's hilarious because, you know, I have like three strikes against my account for comedy content.
So, if only I was trying to recruit some minors for sex, maybe I'd have a healthy account.
Yeah, if only you were making a sketch with Tiffany Haddish.
Yeah.
What do you think about that sketch, by the way?
I think any sketch that fails or gets that much attention,
it just wasn't funny to begin with.
That's it.
Yeah, it definitely wasn't funny.
But here's the thing.
When comedy fails, it fails hard. It's like evil can evil. But here's the thing, man.
Tell me about it. I don't know about it. Dude, here's the thing.
I'm all for everything. I've defended
people who've gotten in trouble for jokes
that have horrible subject matter.
Sam Morrell, I'll just say it. I defended
him hard when he had a controversy.
Shane Gillis, I defended hard.
Online Outspoken, more than a lot of other people do
who talk a big game In fucking private green rooms
I defended Rogan
When he had his racist jokes
They were racist jokes
Let's just be honest
I felt uncomfortable
Yeah I mean they're racist jokes
Yeah
But saying a racist joke
Doesn't make you a racist
Doesn't mean you
Saying a homophobic joke
Doesn't make you a homophobic
Yeah
Being a clean comic
Doesn't mean you're not
Raping women at college campuses
Right
Which was What's his name?
The black dude, Vince something.
Vince Champ.
Yeah.
Being a clean comic doesn't mean that you're drugging women and having sex with their unconscious bodies.
Okay?
It doesn't mean you're not an asshole.
It doesn't mean you're not dirty in real life.
So, you know, saying things doesn't make you that thing.
People say shit all the time.
So I defend people saying stuff.
And I don't think people can be defined by one thing they said.
Okay?
But stupid.
What if you, like, saved 100 million children, but then you said one racist joke?
Are you a horrible person now because you said one racist joke?
I'll be honest with you.
Sometimes racist jokes are fucking funny.
I've heard some funny ones. Okay. They're jokes. They're not statements.
They're jokes. So I've defended people on that. Right. But when I saw this video, I'm just being honest. It was because there was a kid in it because it was like a real kid playing the role of that kid who was with
a pedophile i was like that's the weird part so i don't know i'm like i know it wasn't a real
scenario like the kid was acting but like there was something uncomfortable about it about it
because it was a child yeah it was a little weird like damn y'all couldn't get cgi for them yeah or
like you just get an adult to probably, I don't know, or like
maybe I'm mad at the mother
for allowing the kid to be cast as that
but then she says she wasn't aware of what like
the full context of it was.
I don't know.
But basically, Aries Spears and Tiffany had to try to
make a sketch about pedophiles and there was like real
kids involved with the pedophilia sketch, so like
people felt that it crossed the line.
But, you know, if it's not funny, people are people are gonna you know people gonna have a major reaction to it
so they cleared intense lingering emotionally and psychological distress from the skits in the
initials i don't know about that uh the suit accused both comedians of sexually abusing
battering and harassing a minor sexually abusing well how and harassing a minor along with the
intentional affliction of emotional distress and gross negligence.
It's separately accused Haddish of neglectful supervision,
failure to warn, breach of fiduciary duty,
and constructive fraud.
I don't know.
The comedian who told TMZ she lost everything
because the lawsuit says she feels relieved
about its dismissal.
So it was dismissed.
So maybe there's evidence that it's all bullshit.
I don't know.
But I'll be honest.
When I saw the sketch, I was just like,
and I usually defend anything,
but that is like, it's a kid and it's a real live kid.
It's not like, but it's also not a real thing happening.
So I don't know.
I just felt a little uncomfortable.
What are your thoughts on that?
I didn't think the kid had to be in the sketch.
So like, but if it's not funny, it's not funny.
Jesse, what'd you think about it? I didn't see it. It's the first I'm hearing of it. You didn't hear the kid had to be in the sketch, but if it's not funny, it's not funny. Jesse, what did you think about it?
I didn't see it.
It's the first I'm hearing of it.
You didn't hear about it?
No.
All right, maybe we'll put it on at some point,
and then we'll get back to it.
Talk about it on the Patreon.
Maybe we'll talk about it on the Patreon.
That's one of the scenarios where we have to have a six-year-old sign an NDA.
Yeah.
It's like it was seven, eight years ago when this whole thing happened.
It was a long time ago, and the kid was seven.
The kid was seven, and he's like, the kid i mean like in a in a like a diaper or something i
was like what the fuck man it was like and it wasn't funny here's the thing is it was not funny
it was for a funnier die it was for funnier die but no funnier die took it down they took it down
so funnier die back then deemed it inappropriate okay and they took it down back then deemed it inappropriate. Oh, okay. And they took it down back then. Because you know who owned Funny or Die.
Yeah, Will Smith and Adam McKay.
Yeah.
So, if I remember the story correctly,
they took it down.
His name's Ferrell.
Will Ferrell?
Will Ferrell.
Yeah.
They took it down.
They were like, oh, this is not appropriate,
and they took it down then.
And then I think it was just quiet for a while
until this kid and this girl were like,
let's get some money.
Yeah, they turned 22. Yeah. Let's sign for some money. until this kid and this girl were like, let's get some money. Yeah, they turned 22.
Yeah, it's time for some money.
I don't know if they were like, are they emotionally disturbed?
Hey, I don't know what to say.
It was aired and it was back because it was produced by Woody Allen.
But I don't know.
I'd love to hear your opinion on it because at the end of the day, it wasn't real.
It's not like they really did anything.
But it is a little weird to watch.
But maybe that's fine. Maybe that's not a big deal big deal i don't know we all have fails dog but it's not as fun of a story as idaho bringing back a firing squad which is the
funnest lightest story of the day so instead of a lethal injection they would um it'd be just a
bunch of dudes shooting at you. Yeah. Old school.
This is old school, man.
This is like bringing back records.
So the legislation will enable the firing squad to be used as a secondary means of execution for death row inmates
when lethal injection is not possible.
I don't know what that means.
It's always possible, right?
Maybe they're low on drugs.
Maybe the perp doesn't believe in the vaccine.
Yeah.
Is it?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, like, what's more...
I think it should be the cheapest possible way.
A couple of bullets is real cheap.
A couple of bullets is cheap,
but is it cheaper than fentanyl overdose?
If you want to do it real humanely
and you're against the death penalty,
why don't you let these guys just take a lethal dose
Of fucking Fetty
That's too much fun
And then you just go out fun
But then everyone's happy
They die and also they have a good time
Problem solved
That's what I'm here to do
Death by fentanyl overdose
That would be my choice for sure
That would be my choice
If you had the choice what's the way you want to go out
I would go firing squad.
You'd go firing squad?
Because there's a chance that the cops might have Parkinson's.
Yeah.
Look, I would go, listen, I want to go out firing squad,
and I want all the proceeds from this.
I want this video released on my daughter's channel
and all the monetization proceeds to go to her college fund.
So I want this snuff film
to be,
because you know,
they put those on YouTube
all the time.
You can watch a cop
murder video,
any,
you know,
God forbid,
God forbid,
Bert Kreischer
and I say a curse word
that it's limited monetization.
Yeah,
so I'm going to make a joke
about Ukraine.
I can't post for 90 days.
you'll get demonetized,
but you know,
a nice little fucking 911 murder video will be up there.
So I want that video on my daughter's YouTube page
to be fully monetized to pay for her college fund
so she can at least benefit off my snuff film.
And I want to be dead by firing squad in slow motion
so it's dramatic with no blindfold on
so you can see my Lee Harvey Oswald-like reaction
as the bullets enter my stomach.
We'll see you next time.
What's up, everybody?
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Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What else we got?
Nate Linder, your social media manager.
Jared, what does he do?
Does he build brand awareness?
He builds brand awareness.
He helps you with your websites.
He's ranked number one on the spot of the Google.
This guy will help you build a brand if you want him to.
So hit up Nate Linder.
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If any time that marketing comes into your mind,
just think Nate Linder,
and he will ride you to the promised land.
You think Andrew Schultz has marketing down?
Wait till you see what Nate Linder's got in store for you.
Yeah.
What else we got?
Ooh, Chrissy Minnetti.
Chrissy Minnetti.
This is the ad read that you have to do in a hushed tone.
Okay, don't look at the screen.
Yeah.
Does anyone know the number by heart?
Let me try it.
215.
I know the area code's 215, and I know it's 3730 at the end.
750.
Shit.
So 215-750-3730.
I almost got it memorized.
Now I have it forever.
215-750-3730.
And you're going to need to remember that number because there's no website.
There's no nothing.
Just call up Chris and he will cast your check for you.
Come to Chris's grandma house.
Knock on the basement door and say, is Chris home?
Yeah.
And she'll go, is he home?
Chris, come here.
Your friend's here.
And he'll come in and go, how you doing?
And the password is vodka sauce.
You go, where did you hear about me?
You heard about me on fucking Giannis Papasawa?
I'll take you down in a while while we do this official.
215-750-3730 to get your fucking check cashed.
If you show proof of thalassemia minor,
you get free check cash.
There you go.
I don't buy that.
I don't believe that that's true.
I don't even know what that is.
It sounds like a music term.
What it is is Chris Minnetti trying to make a joke.
Okay.
Aaron Lee, For The Free.
If you want to know about pop and music in the Hawaii area,
go to forthefree.net, forthefree.art.
They got these bunch of dope live shows starting up again,
but they tap you into the music community in Hawaii.
So if you want to hear covers made by people wearing flip-flops,
for the free.art.
Yeah.
Have you ever checked it out?
No, I have not.
Have you checked it out?
Yeah, I've checked it out.
It's very cool.
For the free.art.
Bands in Hawaii and local shows is very cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't even know if Aaron Leaf is, like, I think the money just comes.
I don't know if he watches the show anymore.
Because his copy is, like, from three years ago.
Manly Girly Studios, based out of North Carolina.
Guys, they have so many dope podcasts that you can listen to,
including Ju-Anon, A Side of Fries.
Which is your favorite, Ju-Anon, right?
Yeah, that's my favorite right there.
That's on repeat.
That's on my saved.
Gringo and the Ruff's a goodie.
Gringo and the Ruff, Casa de Thinking.
Man, bro, they just got a dope, dope, dope podcast,
little studio coming out of North Carolina.
So, guys, if you like this podcast, listen to them.
For our listeners, you can get 20% off the merch when you put in the promo code WAPI.
And they're very supportive.
They've been reposting everything that I posted.
Thank you guys so much.
I love you.
So, you know.
Listen, Manly Girly Studios, I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to, what's his name again?
His friends.
He goes, and all their wacky friends.
Whatever your name is, side of fries.
Okay.
Ju-anon.
I'm talking to you guys.
You want to get screwed in?
Send us some fucking shirts.
I'll wear it.
I'd wear them.
Yeah.
I want a manly girl.
I want a fucking gringo in the roughs.
That'd be something that would match this shoe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Message us on Patreon.
We'll give you Jesse's address.
Thanks a lot. We'll send us some shirts. We'll give you Jesse's address. Thanks a lot.
We'll send us some shirts.
Three XLs, right?
No, you want a small, right?
No, I need a large.
Yeah, send Jared a baby small.
Jesse needs an XL.
And me, I need a large because I'm a slim mini, mini, mini slimmy.
But just to be safe, just send him a poncho, too.
Send me a poncho.
But daddy's lost a little bit of weight.
A little bit of weight.
You're getting cut up, you know.
Do I look good?
Looking good.
Yeah.
Even through your reading glasses?
Even through my reading glasses.
I want Jared in a Ju-Anon belly shirt.
I would love to see you in just a Ju-Anon shirt.
It would be great.
Send us the shirts.
Message us on Patreon.
Yeah, get these guys' shirts.
They give you 20% off.
It's fun.
Support their shows, even though I know you're not listening to them.
All right, what else is going on?
We got exclusiveautoshipping.com.
That's if you're moving your car
or you buy a car out of state,
go get your free quote,
exclusiveautoshipping.com.
What else we got?
Okay, here's my favorite, girl.
Guys, is your horse having hoof problems?
What are the chances anyone that listens to this podcast has a horse?
1%.
I guess, I think it's one girl.
And I think it's her.
But check this out, dude.
If you're in the Nashville area, right?
Imagine this.
You find a podcast and you're like,
you happen to have a horse who has hoof issues.
Can you imagine the
serendipity that you experience when you hear this ad from our girl what is it sarah oh sam sam sam
just call this girl and give her business look she's a piece pretty girls get what they want
even if you don't have a horse just pay this girl just send money and say here's if i ever buy a
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I'll give you money preemptively just in case my horse's hooves ever get fucked up.
If I ever buy a horse
and it needs a new farrier,
I don't even still know what that is.
But if your farrier is fucked up,
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for 10 years all right i've been to ferry for 20 huh you seen her arms she's she's strong right
where did you see a picture of her on a website let's take a peek hold on let me finish uh visit
take a peek. Hold on. Let me finish. Visit sporthorsefarrier.com or call Sam, which we did,
and you'll hear it in another episode. 864, and it's very funny, 864-200-9007. Call her up,
and you'll get a better farrier. Let's look at her. Let's look at the website.
Okay. Professional Farrieri.
How do you pronounce that?
Farrieri.
All right, let's look at Sam.
Check out these guns.
Yo, Sam is like a woman from Yellowstone.
Yeah.
Yo, she's out there.
So Farrieri just fixes their hooves?
The hoof.
Yeah, I mean, it basically shines the hooves.
Here's a picture of it if you can.
Oh, yeah. In the Nashville area, it basically shines the hooves. Here's a picture of it if you can. Oh, yeah.
So she really, in the Nashville area, you got to check out Sam.
Sam loved her phone call.
You guys are going to love it too.
Look at her doing her work, dog.
Look at Sam.
This is a girl who grew up on the land, dog.
You got zero chance to vote to the left if you grow up like this girl.
There's a zero chance you vote to the left. This girl is like this girl there's a zero chance you vote to the left
this girl is self sufficient
she'd kill her own food
she'd make her own food
she'll top you Jared
you can't even say
you don't care how many
dude you could be in there
doing your fucking
little
girly
lifts
all you want
me and you could be in there
doing shoulders
she'll come and pick us both up
like this
cause this girl
fucking fixes horses
hooves
look at Sam.
Little piece.
Any more pics?
Look how beautiful
those horses' hooves
are coming out.
This is why I love
the small business shout-out
because we're getting cool
small businesses.
I love this stuff.
Look at her.
I don't know what she's doing,
but the girl's jacked.
She's a jack girl.
All right, so there you go.
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go read this guy's book at sarahzard.com um jesse's gonna read it please read a chapter let
us know i'll read it and then give us a review
the city graphic novel
at the city graphic novel
on Instagram
it's free to read
on sarazar.com
it is a aging crime lord
and his fall from grace
it's set in a dystopian megacity
it's a crazy story
it sounds like it could be fun.
So if you're into this type of like,
what would you call this?
What kind of fiction?
Crime noir.
Crime noir, action, shit.
Yeah.
Check it out.
If you're a fucking one of these geeks
who likes this shit, check it out.
Right?
A little bit of everything.
A little bit of everything.
Dystopian, crime lord, you know.
Yeah.
Support this kid's novel.
Jesse's going to read a chapter or two
and tell us about it next week
so appreciate all
you guys patreon.com
slash Giannis Papasour for our bonus
episodes please
sign up and support the show
it's been a long
day