100% Eat - Chicken, Beer, and Pasta Pete - Face Jam Vodcast #3
Episode Date: December 1, 2020Thanks to Voodoo Ranger for sponsoring this episode. We find which chicken strips (not chicken sandwiches) pair best with Voodoo Ranger. Pasta Pete weighs in with his undecipherable thoughts. Find Voo...doo Ranger IPAs at New Belgium’s Beer Finder: https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/finder. Subscribe to Face Jam at https://link.chtbl.com/facejam. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Alright, you guys ready? Here we go.
Hit the music. I remember we didn't... It's episode three Here we go. Hit the music.
I remember we didn't.
Episode three, we still don't have music?
It's three weeks and there's no music.
Well, maybe there's music.
Six weeks.
You have to be careful with that.
This is week six and we still don't have music.
Face jam. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- possible I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Jordan sweers Jordan how are you today I've not drank yet but I feel like I have been we
haven't we haven't cracked it Imperial IP I was gonna open one right before we
started an Eric's in me wait voodoo ranger voodoo ranger Imperial IPA he's
been yelling this is no yes it's been a day.
Yeah.
Are you knocking this over all the time?
Okay.
You've hit it way more times than in the past already.
You said you did it on the last episode. Watch this.
Label out.
Cheers, guys.
Okay, label out.
Cheers.
Finally.
I don't touch the top.
We're getting after it.
Get your top away from me.
Okay.
Jordan didn't cheers me.
Live rangerously, dude.
Wow.
Rangerously.
He just said, mmm, over my shoulder what the hell I feel like we've been waiting
all day to crack these open I've been waiting two weeks silly so this is
episode three yep of the face jam voodoo Ranger van cast plus ultra collab
collab whatever we're calling it Just a little CoLab
Today we're doing
Chicken
Yep
As you can see here
If you're listening to the podcast
This is a vodcast
You know
Special circumstances
So you can watch it
As we do it
If you need to
Yeah
Where can you see it?
There's Chicken
You can see it on YouTube
On the Achievement Hunter channel
Yep
Or
RoosterTeeth.com
And the Rooster Teeth
Phone application
Blam Yep And that's it Yep So we'll be doing Chicken With a friend later Yeah on the Achievement Hunter channel. Yep. Or roosterteeth.com on the Rooster Teeth phone application.
Blam.
Yep.
And that's it.
Yep.
So we'll be doing chicken with a friend later.
Yeah.
So today we're eating,
you wrote chicken sandwiches.
That's not true.
Why did you skip?
You went to the,
I didn't even.
Oh, well,
because you already,
like you went hard in with voodoo.
Well, yeah,
but we can talk about it.
I know,
but you guys stop arguing.
Please stop.
It's because in the beginning
you're like,
well, I'm going to open this before the thing even starts. And then you should have rolled right into the thing. I know, but you could've wanted to know it. Stop arguing, please. It's because in the beginning you're like, well I'm gonna open this before the thing even starts.
And then you should've rolled right into the thing.
Look, I know tensions are high.
Yeah, because this guy's been yelling at Penn.
I'm not yelling at all.
He was crying. I'm not yelling at all.
He was crying. I'm gonna push it around everywhere.
And yeah, monkey's crying in the front seat. His mask got wet.
He's just trying to get it in neutral so we can push it.
But whose fault is that? You're just mad.
Because you fucked it all up. I didn't do anything.
Yeah, you did. It's a piece of shit. No. Anyway. I called Tony.
Everything's sorted out.
Today, as you, you know, shoehorned
in right at the beginning because you wouldn't let it happen
naturally. We're drinking Voodoo Ranger
Imperial IPA.
He wanted to fight a guy today
too.
Voodoo Ranger Imperial
IPA
is a rare blend of choice hops
that creates an explosion.
Why are you reading it?
I don't fucking know because I just wanted to go.
Take it.
You skipped over the part where we tested negative for COVID.
Oh my God.
He didn't even write that on there.
We want everyone to know that we've tested negative
and we've had a designated driver,
so we've been very safe at every turn.
Oh, you're right.
I forgot he kept making the turn.
It's been a long two weeks, guys.
It's a tough time.
But you know what?
He changed his shirt.
That's why we're hanging out,
and we're cracking open these Imperial IPAs.
We're just friends.
Hey, we're just hanging out.
We're just friends.
We're in the back of this van being friends,
hanging out.
It's a little warm back here.
It's getting hot. It's getting there. Oh, God. This monkey won't stop. He's shaking the whole van this van, being friends, hanging out. It's a little warm back here. It's getting hot.
It's getting there.
Oh, God, this monkey won't stop.
He's shaking the whole van.
Oh, my God.
Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA is a rare blend of choice hops that creates an explosion of
fresh-cut pine and citrus flavors for a complex, rich, and delicious flavor again.
Double flavor.
You got a hee-hee out of him. Hee-hee. Ooh, ooh, hee-hee-hee. Rich and delicious flavor again double flavor
What do you guys think about the Imperial IPA because strong because what I think is that it's nine percent
Oh, you thought we were hitting the hot and heavy 8.5
Like honestly, it doesn't taste like a nine%. That's what living dangerously is all about.
For something that's almost wine,
it's like
easy to drink. It really is.
This is probably not the
smartest thing to do is crack these before we
eat. That's not...
That wasn't a good idea.
I think when we were setting the
van up, somebody cracked open
some of these and I was feeling it afterward. I was like, I only the van up, somebody cracked open some of these and
I was feeling it afterward. I was like, I only had
one. What's the deal with that?
And now I know why. But it's because it's
so easy to drink. It's like, I'm just
sipping on this thing. It's smooth, yeah.
And it has that woody
flavor and some citrus.
Hey guys, check this out.
I've got some ends with Voodoo
Ranger. Yeah. Right? I've got some ins with Voodoo Ranger. Yeah. Right?
I've got some- You're going to do this bit every episode?
Yeah.
Except the first one.
Well, he didn't do it in the first one.
Now he's making up.
Go ahead.
Do your little thing.
I said, guys, guys, we got the face jam van.
We're taking it around.
We're bringing food to our friends.
We're bringing this beer.
What can we say?
Because we're bringing them chicken.
How does this go with the chicken?
You know what they said to me?
No idea.
I don't read the paper.
You know that.
Really just kind of winging it.
They said,
Imperial IPA will pair well with the crispy chicken
and cut down that salt
in a way you haven't experienced before.
Well, now I need the food.
Well, good thing we cut a lot of chicken.
Yeah.
They also said, watch out with this easy to drink 9% because it's gonna be it's
gonna be way too smooth for these chicken tenders sneak it up on me the
sleeper agent yep it is it's activated. And now he's coming after us.
I'm coming after you, chicken.
My eyes dilated.
Give me some chicky.
Speaking of chicken, you guys ready to get into the food?
Yeah.
I think we're all pretty hungry.
Now that we're all caught up.
Right.
We're caught up?
Okay.
So hit me with the chicken sandwiches.
No, they're not chicken sandwiches, even though that's what the cheat said.
There's no they.
You wrote it.
Whoever they are.
Because somebody did this at 7.30 in the morning.
See, this is what happens when we have a later call time.
He pushes it.
What am I going to do?
Do it the night before?
No.
I'm exhausted.
You've gotten it right one time so far.
We saw how episode two ended.
The tacos were right.
No.
Then he left it in.
Now he wrote chicken sandwich.
I wonder what's wrong in the next one, in the last one.
He calls them burger hams. We'll find out in two weeks. chicken sandwich I wonder what's wrong in the next one in the last one because
I'm burger he'll find out so today we're gonna be eating Popeyes KFC and fly
right man you got you gotta put a ringer in every episode huh it's I wouldn't
call it a ringer it's just we're trying to call it a winger we got it you have
monkey liked it he was making ooh noises
you have to diversify right
like as we're doing
these chicken tenders
and you know you can get them
from different places
and you know how it's gonna be
shut up
then you know what it's gonna be
but like
Fly Rite's something
you can only
it's here right
it's local
but Popeyes and KFC
you can get anywhere
so people can
people can eat along
if they want to
but also
if I'm gonna eat something
I'm gonna eat something i just i just appreciate
that we have like a gourmet option for everyone the thing is like here's how this processed
junk food tastes like and then like oh real food i think this format lends itself to like letting us
eat things that we wouldn't usually get right like totally yeah like i don't know that we can
go to fly right a lot like their menu it's like two states I'm excited I'm excited for it today
guys I just I'm excited I'm uncomfortable so let's get into our
chicken sandwich a lot of times this morning I was like
chicken sandwich you're not eating chicken sandwiches anyway yes we are
no we're not we're not contenders anyway oh yeah so Popeyes people texting me
Popeyes chicken tenders no hey hey check out his home hey guess what monkey
already got his food is yo yo little goof Yo, little goof. Look at that. Uh-uh.
Here you go.
Is he the goofy goose?
Yep, he's a goofy goose.
And, hey, guess what?
What?
What am I... Oh, he's got the sauce.
Oh, the sauce monkey delivering sauce.
Can we have some?
Are we allowed?
Why did you say, uh?
He thought about it.
We said that he could hold onto it as long as he gave it back.
Bayou Buffalo.
Ooh, I want that.
Here you go. You can have it.
Thank you. Is there like a ranch or a house? Yeah, there's a rancher. That's a ranch job.
I'll take a ranch. And I'll do a honey mustard.
Just
fucking got it. I just guessed and I got it.
Alright, I'm gonna take a crispy
bite. Okay. Away from the microphone.
We are eating on this show.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
No. Okay, good.
I tricked you.
Mmm.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
It's Popeye's.
It's not bad.
I said this.
That is some good crispy chicken.
I don't know why I said this, but, you know, KFC was always that thing as a kid.
Like, whoa, we're getting KFC.
Yeah.
And then as an adult, I was like, this is not very good.
I don't like this.
I think you said it
when we were broken down
outside the KFC
waiting for Tony.
And, you know,
there was always this thing of,
you know, the kids would get
chicken tenders, you know,
or chicken nuggets or something.
And then, you know,
adults would eat
the bone-in chicken.
Yep.
But I've reached a point
like as an adult where i was i'm just like no the tenders are just better fuck the bones yep
they really are i agree like i've had it's 100 chicken yeah i've had pop it pop is not
too long ago like and i ordered you know i got the regular like chicken legs for myself and I got chicken tenders for my kid.
And I was just like, fuck, yours is better.
I'm going to eat yours.
Give me that.
Give me that.
It's, I mean, succinctly put.
She gave it up.
I won.
You got him.
You showed her.
Got him.
Succinctly put, a boneless chicken tender is 100% eat.
There's no messing with bones.
There's no fussing around.
You just dive right in.
You just dive in.
Now, we have a lot of sauces.
We got a lot of chicken.
There's no heroics to it.
You don't get an award for eating with the bone.
Nope.
You just get a mess.
Mm-hmm.
Then you got to throw it away.
Then what?
Chicken tender, it's absorbed. Right. Fully into my being. It's now a part of me. I'm gotta throw it away. Then what? Chicken Tanty, it's absorbed.
Right? Fully. Into my being.
It's now a part of me. I'm stronger because of it. I'm mostly
chicken now. I'm throwing more weight around. Watch out.
Now, what do you think about it?
I mean, the food bites, it's Popeyes.
It tastes like Popeyes. It tastes like, Popeyes
has a smell and it has a taste and, you know,
exactly what it is. Like most food.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
I just think it's a really
weird chicken sandwich. Alright.
I messed it up. Alright. Shut up.
Again, I
continue to be amazed by
how the food
and the beer interact. Yeah.
To make the beer even smoother
and like, it
becomes one almost.
Honestly, I'm kind of scared.
This beer goes shockingly well with honey mustard.
It went really well with ranch too and Popeyes in general.
I'm astonished.
I think I'm finally at an age, you know, I've been drinking beer for, you know, over 10 years.
Being in my 30s.
But I'm finally at an age where I where beer and food are just clicking with me.
In your 20s, it's kind of like,
I'm drinking beer.
I just wish I could email
Food Ranger all the time and be like,
hey, I'm going to eat this. Tell me which beer to
drink with it.
I think you can.
Like Eric, yeah, Eric apparently does it
all the time. Got the inside track, baby.
I think you could probably just tweet at him, so it's fine.
Is that what you did?
No.
No, I got the inside scoop.
He DM'd him.
No.
Slip in on those DMs.
No, I would never.
You little rascal.
Mm-hmm.
So what do you guys think about the chicken with the beer?
Like, you're talking about now you can appreciate, like, a pairing and a taste.
Like, what do you think?
Hold on.
I'm eating the biscuit.
Dude, the biscuit with the beer is so fucking good.
Is it absorbing it?
I know that's not what we're ranking. We're ranking the
chicken here, but holy shit.
I didn't even know I had a biscuit down here. It's hidden.
What the hell? Oh yeah, that's awesome.
Is this a secret biscuit?
Just for you. You shouldn't have had this for me.
A little secret bisque.
I found it. Uh-oh. You're in trouble.
Uh-oh.
Don't spank me next.
The salty and crispy chicken, again,
makes the beer,
it just makes it smoother and easier to drink, which is very
dangerous. And I feel like
there's going to be, this is our third episode,
it's going to be a common theme.
It just seems like it just,
they just work so well together.
I'm going to keep eating.
This biscuit is super salty, so the beer is doing a good job.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
I want to keep eating, but I feel like we should just eat the next thing.
Yeah, because we have a lot.
There's a considerable amount.
There's more?
What?
What are you, new?
Okay.
I don't go here.
Next.
It's an old classic.
Everyone knows it.
KFC chicken.
Ignore where it says sandwich.
The tenders.
Here's a box.
You're talking about the kufk.
Yep.
Mule tender sanders.
Good monkey.
On the up and up.
Let me spin mine around. It's finger licking good
Oh baby
We got some tendies here
It's interesting
Comparing them like visually
Yep
To one another
Not as much breading crispiness
Yeah
On the KFC
It definitely is not as crispy
You can tell just from looking at it
Yep
A little soggier
Whoa
KFC does weird fries.
Oh, yeah. They do fries
now, apparently. And they're weird.
Hmm.
Hmm. Doesn't have the...
Don't! You go!
You go! What the hell's happening? You're not in that.
No! There's
onlookers.
Don't look at the van.
Don't look at the van. Holy shit. Okay.
Don't look at the van.
Jesus H. Christ.
Second monkey.
Monkeys get mad.
These are a little juicier.
Yeah, they definitely are not as crispy.
Plump.
But they are plump and juicy on the inside.
I'm telling you, just don't get the bucket of chicken.
It doesn't make any sense.
Be a little baby.
Get the chicken tendies.
Google God.
Dive in.
You know?
It's just easy.
Life's hard enough as it is.
Yep.
Wow.
That's, as a combo, it's because this is pretty good.
Yeah, that's juicy, man.
This is so salty.
Like, the chicken is so salty.
But that beer is like man that's perfect damn I
really like that I picked up on it a little bit more with the other one is
this monkey dipping KFC chicken crossbreeding okay here's the thing he's
cross sauce and I don't like you normally vouch for the monkey but we
didn't get like any sauce from the other places.
We got ketchup or catsup.
He kept telling me, I go, oh, do we have sauce?
Fly Right has awesome sauces, though.
I don't want hot sauce.
Go away.
I don't want ketchup.
I wanted honey mustard.
And Popeye's provided me with that.
So, you know, we're breaking some rules here on the special episodes.
Whoa.
So I'm diving in.
I'm using Popeye's honey mustard.
On a KFC strip? Jesus Christ, yes. He's going to'm diving in. I'm using Popeye's honey mustard. On a KFC
strip? Jesus Christ, yes.
He's gonna startle me. He's gonna punch you.
No, he likes it.
He's gonna punch me, yeah. Well, here's the thing. He's pissed today.
I'm hoping this beer chills him out.
I'm jumping over this table at the end of the episode.
Come at me.
If you dare. You better have him move
his beer first. I'm gonna pretend you're
that guy at Whataburger You're toast
That hasn't happened yet
Yeah it has
No it hasn't
Well it has
It has but it hasn't
Don't worry about it
Have you guys seen Tenet
Just don't think about it too much
Clearly it's happened
Because it's in the trailer before episode one comes out.
I don't think you're aware of how that's working.
You fool.
Don't think about it too much.
That all comes out.
Yeah.
You getting choked up?
Sit back.
I'm getting choked up thinking about that guy.
I'm thinking about that guy.
Everybody's going to cry today.
Just watch it and let it wash over you.
Yep.
Holy shit.
Jesus.
Monkey burp.
Monkey burpy.
Someone get monkey a new nappy.
That was a both ends burp.
No, thank you.
We found today.
Whoa.
It's contagious.
We found today
there was a bunch of pepperoni pieces
in the pizza
from when he ate the pizza.
It was like, who did this?
I'm like, who was sitting in the front?
One person.
One monkey man.
He was like stuck in the cup holder.
Gross.
So what do you think about the KFC?
It's good. It's also good.
I like that it's juicy.
It's better than I thought it would be.
I agree with you.
Shitting on KFC today.
I'm actually kind of surprised.
It's pretty juicy.
I have a differing opinion, but we'll get into that later.
Wow.
Okay.
That's fine.
Guys.
That's what this is about.
Give me the goods.
Lastly.
Yo, if this sucks, I'm not going to show.
Could you imagine?
Like, we're about to get into something.
If I have fly right and it's not just right, I'm gone.
Guys, it's fly right time.
If you haven't had fly right, it's like, imagine good chicken.
It's like that.
Oh, man.
Look at this.
Look, here's the thing.
Look at this chicken.
They don't have the flair or the pizzazz in the box, you know.
Little fries?
KFC, they have the fries.
KFC has the stripes, you know, engineered by Dave Thomas himself,
as we recently learned.
Popeyes, they got a lot going on there.
Fly Right says, here's your
shit in a little box,
but go ahead and take a bite of that.
Yep. Take a bite of that chicken.
Tater tots are so fucking good.
These look like perfectly
in between. They're cooked more
than KFC, but they're not as
bready. They're still somehow more juicy.
I got a big bald spot.
What the hell?
You know what?
It feels like real chicken.
That's some real bread on that one.
That is breading.
That's not like factory bread.
It's definitely like the least salty out of all of them.
Yeah, for sure.
It's brined, right?
Like there's like a, it's been hanging out in some kind of like marinade or it's juicy
in a way that the others aren't.
Damn.
Mmm.
I just want everyone to understand at home that this is how good it was. Just wafts over me.
Everyone shut the fuck up while we ate it.
Everyone took a bite and it was quiet.
I didn't hear anything except Eric going, mmm.
It's so fucking good.
He just kept saying it.
It's so good.
I love the chicken.
If we were lucky enough to get sauces, their sauces are amazing.
Yeah, we probably weren't.
It's gone, though.
I sucked this whole thing down in like two seconds.
Tough.
Shit.
Jesus.
I'll be honest, I don't even care how it tastes with the beer because it's amazing.
Yep.
You should, though.
They paid for this.
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Throw him a bone. I don't know. Think. You should, though. They paid for this. All right.
Listen.
Throw him a bone.
I don't know.
Think about it, I guess.
All right.
I drank it with the beer.
It's good.
Awesome.
It's very good.
This has...
Back on track.
Smooth sailing.
Where'd my piece of paper go?
I never got one.
He threw it away.
He threw it away, remember? The monkey handy one? I don't think that go? I never got one. You threw it away. You threw it away, remember?
I don't think that happened.
I refuse that narrative.
This tastes like real chicken.
And man, it goes really good with this beer.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah.
It's definitely been soaking or sitting in something.
Damn.
Yeah.
It's like if this had a diabetes,
it pissed itself,
but with flavor.
I was getting there.
He said,
what?
Okay.
One beer.
9%. What?
What happens when you don't eat anything all day?
You're out in the sun.
It's so crazy.
Tony has to pick you up, and then you have to go to your friend's house.
And then we get back, and they go, all right, time for lunch for the crew.
And we don't eat because the show is eating.
And I'm going, I'm so hungry.
My belly, he's talking at me.
He's going, it's time for me to eat.
He's Southern, which is weird.
He's still getting messages.
Oh, I'm blowing up like'm blowing up like throw your phone away
Don't they know that you're busy right now?
You're busy dude. Okay, you're more busy than they can ever believe mm-hmm, but that's that's it. It's it's the life of
Hat maroon hat man producer. It's a good color
It's a damn good color
It's weird whenever you point to it you leave such a big gap between the letters.
Oh, I don't know where it's at here.
Because then I'm going to touch it and it's going to-
Imagine it's here.
No, because-
No, I'm just saying, imagine it's here.
You point like here.
Yeah.
It's because here it is.
Because if I do this and I cover any of the letters, you're never going to-
You're going to make fun of me for-
I'm going to make fun of you no matter what you do.
He's a road deuce.
Yeah.
That's exactly-
Wow, you're stupid.
What a fucking idiot.
You got him.
He's a fucking road deuce over here.
Why don't you go hang out in the produce aisle, you little road deuce?
Look at this monkey who's dunking on me over here.
Yeah, dude.
He knows what's up.
Dude, when he sees an opportunity, this guy attacks.
Yep.
Okay.
Check your genitals.
What the fuck?
He's giving me a big old middle finger.
He's getting bold. Who taught him that? Who taught him that? Bowl who taught him that is
No because he's not drinking
In the front seat strictly monkey business
strictly monkey business
Some cocoa video monkey business as in he's totally cool and not drinking anything at all and it's sober
Well, I think what happens here's the thing. I think that Monkey business, as in he's totally cool and not drinking anything at all and is sober.
Well, I think what happens, here's the thing.
I think that he learned some crazy, I think Tony taught him some crazy new stuff.
You were in that car for about 15 minutes with Tony.
The thing is like.
What did he teach you?
He taught him middle fingers.
He also, no one saw saw but he just did this eyebrows
inside of his mask this guy is getting a plush you're not getting into another
one are you oh my god okay okay okay let's talk to her yes sorry dad as you're
cracking it open let's read the top of the back of the page.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not going to do it while I'm cracking it open because it's already been cracked.
You're living in the past now.
Read it word for word.
I'm in the future.
Read the word for word.
Try and catch me.
Yep.
Catch up, Nolan.
Inverse.
All the doors are open.
Yeah, you can only go inverse backwards, though.
You can't go forward.
But now that we have this van that Eric graciously got for us.
Shut up.
Not.
With the help of Voodoo Ranger.
And Tony.
True.
Yeah.
And expertly towed by Tony, we wanted to bring in some of our friends to help us rate these foods.
What happens when 20 extremely athletic Canadians who thrive on competition and won't settle for less than number one
find themselves on a team.
Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing.
Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another.
It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge,
and sparks are going to fly.
New episode Sundays.
Watch free on cbc jam
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Visit Miele.ca to learn more. Okay. I mean, he got name dropped, but we didn't use his real name. Hey, Chris. Hello. Hey, if you want to get...
Your camera's too high.
It's fine.
Don't listen to Jordan.
It's fine.
I think it looks good.
You want to see his stomach?
Guys, look.
It's Chris.
Pasta Pete.
Well, okay.
So we talked about Chris, and we didn't get his consent to talk about him in the Olive
Garden episode
Right, I just give him a pseudonym of pasta Pete. Did you say pseudo name?
But it's Chris and we forced him to do this one so there is hello you need a good pasta lately uh
Not not Not recently.
Oh, I make my own pasta because I've been eating a lot at home.
I found some chickpea pasta that's pretty good.
Got more protein.
You make it?
How do you make it?
Well, I mean, it's just like boiling pasta.
That's what he means.
So you cook it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I was like, whoa, he's making pasta by hand?
He's making it cooked.
He's making it cooked. He's making it cooked.
You don't even have to boil it.
I think you can eat that out of the can.
It's crunchy, but it's okay.
Well, anyway.
All right, how you doing, Chris?
I'm doing good.
I've eaten nothing but chicken the last three meals.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Well, we got to get you chickened up, yeah.
Bring in the chicken, eat the chicken.
He's going to have chicken opinions.
I'm fighting to not eat more chicken.
I just took another bite.
I want.
I strangely want more of that Papa John's.
I mean Popeye's.
What?
Oh my God.
Dude, that was two weeks ago.
Yeah.
It was a whole other episode.
It was some old pepperoni.
I meant that poppy ice.
Yeah, it's been a whole thing.
Don't worry about it.
Chris, how are you feeling about the Imperial IPA and having like 20 something of those at your house?
I mean, I feel good about it.
Well, there's less than 20 now.
There's less than 20 now.
Oh, my God.
Get a head start.
Are you just tearing into it?
Like, it tastes, it's good, right?
Like, it's not a bad beer by any means.
Like, on its own, it's really easy to drink, right?
Yeah, it's really easy to drink, especially for a higher alcohol percentage one.
So it's like, which is good.
I had one for every single meal, so.
Oh my God.
Jesus.
Oh my God.
You're just staying cooked all day.
That's why the bandana's on right now.
He's just sweating it out.
He's in a chair because he couldn't stand up right now.
Oh my God.
Well, Chris,
let's get into your opinions about this chicken because you told us that you have notes.
I have notes.
He's already prepared.
It's three different meals. You're eating them all
back to back and trying to keep track of them.
I want to be able to have my thoughts in order.
Go ahead, please. Shall I go in the order
that I ate them? Yes.
I like that. Very curious to know what order you ate them in. Well, I started Shall I go in the order that I ate them? Yes. Oh, yes. I like that. Very curious to know what order you ate them in.
Yes, perfect.
Well, I started, I ate in the order in which they arrived.
Okay.
So I started with Fly Right.
Okay.
That was just down the street from you, so that's fine.
Easy.
Yeah, no, I thought the chicken was good,
but had kind of a depressing aesthetic. Oh, no, I thought the chicken was good, but had kind of a depressing aesthetic.
Oh, wow.
Just kind of looked like wood, you know?
But it didn't taste...
It tasted anything but woody.
Yeah, it was good chicken,
but it looked like sad chicken, if that makes sense.
You know what I mean?
Okay, all right.
So the chicken's true heart was on the inside, not on the outside.
That's what you're saying.
He didn't judge a chicken by its cover.
It was a grower, not a shower.
I think my note on that was, looked like forest wood, but small.
Good note.
All right.
I don't think they're going to take that into their marketing anytime soon.
But it's good.
It looks like...
That's fly right.
Fly right chicken.
It looks like small forest wood right chicken forest wood but small bite-sized
force not like a log like a twig yeah
yeah it's like bark off a tree okay I
didn't think I thought their tater tots
were very good subtle hints of potato
that paired nicely with voodoo Ranger
beer sorry hang on, hang on, I'm sorry, hang on
It's nothing but potato, Chris
Michael just took a bite of one
Hey man, how's it taste? Subtle hints of potato
You getting any potato with that?
Yeah, you got some potato?
Well, a lot of times it'll taste like buttery and crunchy, but
Are you you're getting choked up it was it tasted pretty crunchy yeah
Crunchy flavor mm-hmm no
I say that I thought that the the subtle potato with the like
the robust you know kind of citrus of the voodoo ranger i thought you took no they brought it all
out it all went really well together when you said citrus i was thinking tater tot my head almost
thank god thank god you mentioned the beer does ch Chris's tongue work? Yeah, right? God damn.
Oh, man.
Shall I go on to Popeye's?
By all means.
I insist that you do it.
Yeah.
So I guess my final note on Fly Right was it was just the tater tots and the tree like wood.
I mean, tree like chicken.
And then so I was like, the presentation was lacking.
Popeye's, on the other hand, had a great presentation.
It looks great.
It does.
There was a biscuit.
Yep.
They snuck it in there, right?
Was yours hidden too under the fries?
Oh, mine was nice off to the side.
I noticed it right away.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
No hiding.
They're trying to trick me for some reason.
I've been bad.
I thought the chicken was very crunchy, which I liked, and slightly spicy.
Yeah, it does have that Louisiana spice to it.
I agree with everything this man is saying.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I thought the spice of the Popeye.
Overall, Popeye's, I thought, had the best spice.
It was kind of a nice subtle kick.
I think it's the only one that had spice, but who knows?
And I thought that actually had the most unique kind of combination in my mouth with the beer.
Because it was like spicy, and it made the beer last longer on my tongue.
Yeah, I kind of get that.
It made the beer last longer on your tongue?
Like I swallowed it,, it was like evolving.
It's still there.
Whoa, it kept coming.
He's like, I'm not drinking.
Stop.
But you're still here.
Yeah.
Whoa.
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
That's a beer extender is what he said.
Yeah, what did you think of the fries?
Fries were a little soggy, but they had a good flavor.
What about that biscuit, though?
Biscuit was very good, but dry.
But that beer helped with that.
Very salty.
That's classic Popeyes, though.
Michael's getting choked up about the biscuit.
No, I'm not getting choked up.
I was going to throw up.
You can't help but get choked up on the biscuit.
It's so dry.
But how did you feel about the biscuit with the beer?
Because that was probably my favorite part. That's what really helped.
That's what really helped.
It's because I was getting, I was like, you know, needing to breathe.
As most humans do.
I don't know if you know this.
You needed to breathe.
I usually hold my breath when I eat.
You eat so much biscuit at once and then it becomes like a glue in your mouth.
He's talking about Mud Mouth.
Chris got Mud Mouth.
Classic Mud Mouth.
Yeah.
But then the beer took care of that.
Same here.
Mud Mouth be gone.
Respect that.
Respect that.
Well, let's get to your last one, KFC.
What do you think?
Okay, so KFC, first of all, good presentation as well.
Lots of food.
Hang on.
Is that what you think presentation is?
Well, I think it's the amount of food.
And also, does the food look like wood?
No, I'm just saying KFC.
On a scale of food to wood, it's...
Flywright's way over here.
Everything else is on the food side.
I get what he's saying, though.
It's got, like, companion pieces.
You know, it's assembled in the box.
Yeah, you do.
It's very pleasant to look at when you open it.
You open it and go, ooh.
That's what I like about Flywright is, like, we don't need the bells and whistles.
Yeah.
Because we're going to knock your socks off.
We're talking about Chris right now.
It's true.
Sorry.
Yeah, you save your review for later.
So KFC.
I'll shut up then.
I was surprised that I didn't like the biscuit as much as Popeye's.
I was caught off guard.
Me too, Chris.
Oh, my God.
Me too.
I feel the exact same way about the biscuit.
I couldn't believe it.
I was just picturing Chris biting into the biscuit and being like, oh.
No, I really did. I couldn't believe it. I was biting into the biscuit and being like, oh.
I had a visceral reaction.
In my head, I really liked KFC biscuits, but compared
to the Popeyes one, I was like,
you never have them side by side before.
It's true.
My notes on it was, it was sort of
stiff and wooden, but soft wood.
Like a
beech wood.
On the wood scale, it's a little closer a little closer but not as far as fly right this was on taste not aesthetic
gosh why right looked like wood but tasted like totally totally understand
and totally following yeah 100% thumbs okay. But the biscuit itself
was sort of a
wooden flavor.
I mean it was still butterwood.
Butterwood.
It's classic. You know when you're walking along the beach
and there's classic butterwood everywhere and you pick it up
and you take a bite and you go, that's what a great breakfast
I'm having. That's like
a KFC biscuit.
My head is spinning every time.
That's just the 9%.
Yeah.
Nothing to do with Chris.
All right.
Of all the fries, I would say KFC had the hottest temperature-wise.
They were definitely, which really helped overall.
But the flavor was better at Popeye's.
It still had that zest. Right. Right. Let him talk about the fries. better at Popeye's. It was still that, it had that zest.
Right, right.
Mm-hmm.
Let him talk about the fries.
I am letting him talk.
I didn't interrupt him at all.
I was just signaling to the monkey quietly.
We had, we had a lot of, uh, we had a lot of opinions about the fries and the tots.
Um, we also had a lot of opinions on the chicken, but Chris, now we need to know your opinion.
What was the best one that you had well this beer? Okay? Well wait? Well my my?
Yet to do that
Because I haven't told you about the chicken of what yeah, it only felt like you did I'm sorry you're right yeah
You're right. Yeah
You can understand my confusion, but please go ahead the chicken was very supple and juicy
Very good with the beer.
Plus, final note, on KFC, cookie.
They had one.
You got a cookie?
We didn't get a cookie.
Well, the monkey's pissed.
He's like yanking on his ears and shit.
He just used screech, and that lowered my attack.
I think that's what it is.
Maybe my defense.
I'm like, I'm all.
Something's lower.
Hang on.
Let me see.
Eric's checking the bag for a cookie furiously.
Nope.
Almost like a chip.
It's just ketchup. It's not a single cookie?
It's just ketchup or ketchup.
That's sauce.
Yeah.
That's shit to him.
I can't believe that.
Wow.
I mean, hey, if that affects what your favorite is, I can respect it.
I can understand.
Dude.
You just didn't get any cookies.
Yeah.
There it is.
That's it.
Chris, what do you think was
the best chicken that you had today
with this beer? It was Popeye's.
Wow!
Very interesting.
Now, is it the spiciness
of the Popeye's with the beer? It was the spiciness.
The spiciness made it, like
I said, it made it last longer.
It was just like... Right, remember, it last longer. It was just like.
Right.
Remember, like he said.
Yeah.
We were all there.
It's fine.
Like he said.
Uh-huh.
You know, I got to respect that choice.
Manson's title to his opinion.
That's right.
That's right.
It's true.
Man. I would say Popeye's, KFC, Fly Right.
And I was super surprised by that.
Wow.
I thought I would like Fly Right more.
But, you know.
He's giving us all three.
This is really.
I didn't want it, but we got it.
This is thorough.
Well, that's what Chris is.
He's nothing if not thorough.
He'll invite you to an Olive Garden, and he'll make you think that he's quitting, but he's not.
It was just the last day of his pasta pass.
That's just the way it is.
And his food's free.
You'll still pay for it.
That's just the way it is His food's free
You'll still pay for it
Well
Chris
Thank you
Thank you for joining us
On Face Jam
With this collab
With Voodoo Ranger
Plus Ultra
Yeah I hope you enjoy
All of the beers
That you still have
In your refrigerator
Oh I will
He has a smile on his face
He has a huge grin
That he's already It was all worth it 15 minutes of my time Oh, I will. He has a smile on his face. He has a huge grin.
It's all worth it.
15 minutes of my time.
I get 24Ks.
Oh, my God.
All right, Chris.
Well, thank you so much for your rankings, and we'll talk to you later.
All right.
Bye. All right, cool.
What a nut.
Wow.
I love that guy.
He's awesome.
Straight up, we got wood chicken.
We got wood biscuit.
We got one that looks like wood and one that tastes like wood.
Who would have seen it coming?
And then also, so tastes like wood was KFC.
Yeah, but he was only saying the biscuit tasted like wood.
Okay, that's true, I guess.
We didn't really give a shit about that.
But tastes like wood went over Fly Right.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
And I think that has to bring us to your guys' ranking.
Oh my goodness.
You have to read that part.
Okay.
You have to read that in the middle.
Me?
Well, I mean, it can be.
I never got a piece of paper.
There's so...
You have so many pieces of paper.
He's had two.
You had two.
Look around me.
There's one right there.
Do you see any?
There's one over there.
Hey, hey.
Can you see me?
What?
Vampire. I was doing it. There's one over there! Hey, can you see me? I'm a vampire!
I was doing it. I know you don't watch wrestling. Yeah, yeah, I'm new to it.
We have gotten... John seen me thing.
John seen me.
Have you seen me? Uh huh.
We've gotten guest input and we've had long enough
to think about it. It's time to rate which of these
chicken sandwiches or chicken tenders
you're just telling me to read it verbatim.
Okay. Goes best with Voodoo
Ranger Imperial IPA.
Guys, what do you think?
We had Chris like really laid it out. Super
thorough from Chris. Yeah, we didn't want it
but he did it anyway.
That's Pasta Pete. He picked Popeyes.
Yep. Let's cut to the chase.
He went with Popeyes.
Jordan? I thought it was very interesting he went with Popeyes mm-hmm Jordan I thought it was very interesting you know Popeyes if I were to rank them which I would say you are you are you are?
To rank them that is the whole premise of what we're doing here
Yeah
Afraid of sure this is an Alfredo show the shuttle hint of potatoes
What what a maniac
It tasted pretty crunchy, too.
What the hell?
Really, describe the way that only Chris could describe it.
What the hell?
Incredible.
Incredible.
If you were to rank them.
It's ranking them best with the beer.
Yeah, I agree.
That's what it is.
That's true.
And so on its own, it's a whole other thing.
But with the beer, I'm putting KFC at three.
Okay.
I'm putting Fly Right Wooden Chicken at two.
Wow.
And I'm putting the Popeye's, not Papa John's, number one.
Wow.
Number one best with the beer.
Popeye's number one.
That's Chris.
Do you think Chris had influence over Jordan here?
He might have.
Wow.
I think Chris put it well
This guy
Flavor extender
Before he'd even eaten
Yeah
Was like
This is no contest
Yeah
Fly right's gonna win
It's true
You know
Had it many times
Got that gourmet shit
Yep
It's definitely the superior chicken
The beginning of the episode
He called it a ringer
It's true
And Popeyes
I even called it a winger
Yeah he did
Yeah no
We ignored that part.
And everyone laughed.
He kept going like this.
He did, but that doesn't mean anything.
Unless he laughs at me, then it's really cool.
Good.
No.
Popeyes number one.
Popeyes number one.
So what do you think, Michael?
Ranking three, two, one.
I dare you to refute me.
Challenge accepted.
Honestly, across the board, I'm kind of blown away.
Because in my adulthood, I've thought much less of KFC and Popeyes.
But they were both pretty good today.
I really enjoyed them.
You know, the KFC was very juicy.
Supple.
Not saying that. Some would say.
Some would say. Some would say.
For some reason.
The Popeyes
was spicy
and super crispy.
That bread was crunching.
It was going. And the
Fly Right, I don't know, it was kind of
somewhere in the middle. It was also very juicy.
It definitely had the juiciest juice.
And the breading was like, pizow!
You know, it was like, it wasn't just a texture.
It was a hard flavor.
Right.
You know, the other two were definitely very texture-based.
Texture-based.
Yeah.
But, you know, Popeye's, like, man, with that crisp and that salt, it just went well with the beer
I gotta say so I'm gonna
say it
KFC Fly Right Popeyes
wow Popeyes is the consensus
I'm saying it with this beer
with what I ate today
I too was like oh Fly Right
no question
this is the perfect beer to go with the crunchy
salty chicken that you get it was delicious it's that peppery flavor No question. This is the perfect beer to go with the crunchy, salty, spicy.
It was spicy.
It was crunchy.
It was delicious.
You know what it is?
It was delicious.
It's that peppery flavor that Popeye's has where it's not like, oh, super hot on my tongue.
It's just kind of like Cajun spice.
Yeah, and this beer just is so, for a 9%, so mellow and like, oh, dude.
It was killer.
I keep going into the Popeye's.
I know. It's so good.
I think it might be the best combination
of food and beer we've had so far.
It was very good.
It worked with all of them.
But if this
were just straight chicken, I think it'd be
a different conversation. Definitely.
But dude, the Popeyes and the
Imperial IPA, they were made for
each other. Yep, I agree.
Damn.
Guys, who would have seen that coming?
I'm looking at both cameras.
This is Chris, might have.
I'm glad we're doing this show because I wouldn't have guessed that.
I never would have guessed that.
Not a million years.
I had my preconceived notions of like, fly right back.
Right, and that's the thing.
No contest.
If we would have talked about, we've done Popeyes on the show.
We've done KFC on the show.
You know what you're getting.
And if we had talked,
not doing this show,
but just talked about like,
oh yeah,
pairing it with this beer,
I don't think there's any way all three of us
wouldn't have picked Fly Right
as like,
well,
it has to be the best.
It has to be.
Dude,
Popeyes,
I think,
blew everything out of the water.
And,
not that this affected my
rating at all,
but they gave us the goods.
Yeah,
the honey mustard.
They gave us the goods.
They are the only ones. They gave us tons and tons of sauce. honey mustard. They gave us the goods. They are the only ones.
They gave us tons and tons of sauce.
This thing's screaming
about taking oysters.
He's taking it home.
He's so excited.
He knows exactly
how many are in there,
so don't even think
about taking one for yourself.
In this day and age,
it's pretty difficult
to come by sauce.
Yep, there he is
swinging a sack around
in the front seat.
He scares me.
Well, we did it, guys.
Another episode.
It's in the books.
I'm really happy with how this one went. It's in Chris's notes yeah make sure you tell him oh I'm
gonna text him very he was very curious I'm gonna text him as soon as this is
over and just go like Popeyes one you were right yeah he's gonna be excited
he's gonna be fucking blackout drunk a whole case a whole case to one person
it's gonna be him on the ground I with dog. I only had two. He had one per meal.
That's insane. That's crazy.
That's crazy. But
he's a very thorough man, so I respect that.
Thank you, Pasta Pete. Thank you, Chris.
You did a great job. And thank you, Voodoo Ranger
for sponsoring this episode
of the Face Jam Voodoo Ranger collab.
Plus Ultra.
Plus Ultra. And there's only one more left.
There's only one more left there's only one more
there's only one more
don't be shocked
two weeks from now
episode four
yep
that's it
so
then the van
gets blown up
yep
what
no no no no
I mean we might as well
it's undrivaled
what do you mean
no it'll run
it doesn't tow
no it'll run
it'll tow
without
no it won't
without Tony
it can't even tow
cause one of the wheels
doesn't spin
then I'll call Tony
and we'll get it figured out
we're not gonna blow it up we're not gonna figured out. We're not going to blow it up.
We're not going to keep calling Tony every time we need to drive it.
Yeah, we'll just see what he's doing.
We're lucky we got Nick back.
Honestly, yes.
I think he learned a lot from Tony.
Yeah, he learned how to flip the bird.
He learned middle fingers.
No!
Oh, he's making them dance.
All right.
All right.
One more episode and then we did it, guys.
I know we don't have any beers left, but cheers. I got a supple suckle left. All right. Let's get out of here. All right. One more episode and then we did it, guys. I know we don't have any beers left, but cheers.
I got a supple suckle left.
All right.
All right.
We'll see you guys in two weeks.
Bye.
This is how we do it.