100% Eat - Chipotle 21 Pilots Burrito

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Chipotle 21 Pilots Burrito so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Mr Blurryface and he cares what you think. Sponsored b...y: DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam), and HBOmax (http://hbom.ax/facejam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. I feel like the song just hit better this episode. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:00:51 Like, I'd- Shut up, Skank! Turn off your windshield wipers! You probably do. I paused before I said you probably do, so by the time I came back, it doesn't make any sense. Thanks to DoorDash, Honey, and HBO Max for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?
Starting point is 00:01:15 Great, thanks. You didn't know where it was going to go. No, I didn't. I always feel like these questions are just set up for me to react to whatever bit you just did, and it's not a genuine question of how I'm doing. Well, the thing is it's not a genuine question because I'm not asking it. He's telling me to ask it. So I try to add a little realism to it.
Starting point is 00:01:37 And I know in the past— I'm going, how are you? Well, in the past, I've said, how are you? And you're like, that didn't seem— now you seem like you don't want me here. So I tried to lure you in. By making your voice go higher? And then I brought it back up! That means I'm happy!
Starting point is 00:01:54 I'm happy! Happy Mikey and Jordan are here doing some face jam. Perfect intro. Plus 10. Plus 10. Plus 10. Plus 10. I mean, it just hit harder. The intro hit harder.
Starting point is 00:02:15 Anyway, we don't know how you are. You refuse to answer. That's fine. For some reason, we do this every two weeks, and you refuse to answer the question. So I don't know. I feel like I did answer it. To take over from there as the co-host to go, hey, I'm doing great. Really excited to be here.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Wow, we ate at this restaurant. How are you, Michael? Like, really just sort of underhand pitching you so you can just get on base, bud. You know what? I never thought about that. Do you want me to make a joke out of Michael's thing instead? I thought that was pretty funny. He always takes it and then goes, I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:02:51 He never asks me. He doesn't throw it back. I'm playing catch with myself out here. You ever see that happen? Well, it's not written anywhere for me to ask you. Ground. Well, how are you? I'm feeling pretty good.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Thanks. It doesn't say anywhere I'm supposed to ask you how you're doing. And you know what? I wasn't even feeling good until you finished asking the question because the question validated me as a person, and that made me feel good. So at the beginning of the question, if someone was tracking my pulse,
Starting point is 00:03:26 it would have been low. Like, uh-oh, he's coding. And then when you got to the end, when you said you and that question mark, and then you put the dot on the question mark, someone yelled clear, and then I came back. And now I'm loving it. Now I'm Frankenstein's monster.
Starting point is 00:03:43 The defibrillator was like right above you. They were about to shock you. And they were like, hold on, we got a pulse. It's a miracle. Someone said, call it. Yeah. And the nurse said, call it a miracle. He was like taking his gloves off.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And he's like, I'm done here. And then, miracle. Whoa. Anyway, what's going on? What did we eat? What's going on? Anyway, what's going on? What did we eat? What's going on? Anyway, what's going on? It's a valid question.
Starting point is 00:04:09 What? It's a valid question. Damn, dude. Anyway, where am I? I wish I could turn back time and do the intro again. Oh, man. To the good old days. That's not what I said.
Starting point is 00:04:22 I don't even understand what you're talking about. To the good old days. That's not what I said. I don't even understand what you're talking about. What we've consumed and will now commence to review is Chipotle's 21 Pilots Burrito. So, we're eating people now. A little piece of every 21 of them. I'm a little people eater. Collect them all.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Yeah. Bit of a stretch, huh? piece of every 21 of them. I'm a little bee believer. Collect them all. Yeah. Hmm. Bit of a stretch, huh? This episode? Well, it's another one of those it's another one of those well, it's not really an exclusive item. This is just what some guys like
Starting point is 00:04:59 to eat. What's even better is that apparently this is only available this week the week yeah by the time this episode is out before the episode comes out right you you can't order i mean you can't order this loophole right loophole because it's just some stuff two guys like to eat you can't go order it yourself by ordering the list of ingredients. There's nothing new or special in it. Right. Just don't, for the love of God, try and order the 21 Pilots burrito or they will throw you off the premises.
Starting point is 00:05:35 It's also a thing where I'm not sure if this is the case, but this is how it felt. This is how it felt. I think you can only order it online or through the app because there is zero signage or any, like, there's not a picture of any of the pilots. You're telling me Chipotle isn't decked out, like, going all out on this 21 Pilots collaboration? Like, Chipotle definitely needs their help. What did Jordan say before we started? He said, do you think Chipotle came to them or they went to Chipotle? I think it was Nick asking. Who initiated this?
Starting point is 00:06:15 If 21 pilots went to Chipotle or if Chipotle approached 21 pilots. The band went to Chipotle and went, we eat here a lot. Just saying. Million dollar idea right here. Million dollars. It's painful when it's this obvious because not everything can be like fully organically integrated like what we just did with Selena and Chef. And what we did beautifully executed perfect 10 landing. I mean, perfect 10 execution.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Plus 10. 20. Perfect 20 out of 10 execution. 21. Perfect. Pilots out of 10. No. perfect 20 out of 10 execution. 21. Perfect. Pilots out of 10. 21 pilots out of 10 execution on Selena and Chef.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Do you think we decided to eat the Chipotle 21 Pilots burrito or 21 Pilots came to us and asked us to eat it and review it? At this point, I'm not sure. Man, I can't believe. Now they're just doing anything anyone asks.
Starting point is 00:07:28 You know 21 Pilots said, hey, Face Jam, review our burrito, please. We are ready to be judged. Hold on. We might be a little harsh on them because they could very easily have a podcast that we don't listen to. Where they're always talking about Chipotle. I'm being dead serious. I'm in the skeleton. Jordan. I'm in the skeleton. Jordan, I'm in the skeleton clique, okay?
Starting point is 00:07:49 What does that mean? What the fuck does that mean? You're not in the skeleton clique? What is the skeleton clique? It's just like the crew. I mean, I have it. That's what they call their group? That's what we call ourselves.
Starting point is 00:08:04 What does that have to do with pilots? I know exactly that I know for a fact that you are not in the skeleton clique. Oh, I sure am, bro. How long have you been in the skeleton clique? One hour? It's hard to say.
Starting point is 00:08:19 It all blends together. Could be an hour. It feels like a decade. It feels like it's weird because it's- This band's definitely been around for a decade. I pulled up and he's listening to 21 Pilots and he goes, I needed to familiarize myself with their content. Well, I was playing their music while we were eating the burrito and while I was driving here.
Starting point is 00:08:44 I don't understand why would they be the skeleton click if they're 21 pilots? We need 21 pilots facts. You get 21 pilots on a plane, there's only one way, you know, you're getting down. Crash.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Everybody's a skeleton. And then you hang out afterward. Oh, yeah. You go, oh, we're all dead. I love this. Wish I could turn back time to the good old days. And then there's like glory face man. Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Anyway, I'm clicking. We ate it. We ate it. And now we're going to talk about it. But, yeah, we sort of mentioned and then didn't mention the Selena and Chef thing. This guy, super fan over here, running his
Starting point is 00:09:31 little rodent mouth, little rabies infested mouth just jabbering his jaw, just gnawing away at sewage and refuse and ankles. What are you getting at? This is long enough saying that
Starting point is 00:09:47 I'm just... No, it's not long. Well, no. I could have gone on, and you've rudely interrupted me, so I'll leave it at that. Quit critiquing us. Yeah, stop. You're not in the skeleton clique, okay? This guy's talking about Selina and Chef. I just joined the skeleton clique.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Whoa! What's the sign? Hey. Hey. He's in. No! So anyway, we did a video for you. Much like
Starting point is 00:10:24 Selena and Chef, we cooked things. We were Selena and the Chef somehow. Yes. It didn't really track. Yeah, there wasn't a one-to-one kind of translation from the show to our attempt at it. We were Selena in that we didn't know what we were doing, but also we were a chef in that we were giving directions. Right.
Starting point is 00:10:48 We were giving directions to the chef. Right. Right. Who was also kind of Selena. Yeah. But definitely not. Listen, it didn't have to be. Who was the monkey?
Starting point is 00:10:59 It didn't have to be one-to-one. Good, because it wasn't. have to be one-to-one when you have the meeting with HBO Max and then they go um yeah so like a Selena and chef thing is that what you're saying and then and then it's before they can even get the words out of your mouth you're going yes yes yes uh it doesn't matter right it doesn't matter if it's one-to-one but he means Yeah. Well, I'm using a royal you. You know what I mean? So it's, you know, so it works. So it works.
Starting point is 00:11:29 And I'm sure Selena saw it. I'm sure she didn't. What? Yeah. Why? It's on YouTube. Oh, shit. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Well, anyway, we ate Chipotle. Go watch the Selena and Chef Face Jam thing thing it's good it's fun we'll never speak of selena and chef again that's not no i think we're not a cooking show i think that's what we learned by being a cooking show yes we had to because i thought maybe we could do it michael did you forget the part where we undercooked the ribs and then somehow burned them at the same time? Look, also, first of all, I didn't forget it, but also this little weasel over here kept saying, they're definitely done, they're definitely done. They looked done. And then we pulled them off, and they were white on the inside.
Starting point is 00:12:22 We all just went, oh no. Oh no. I think I heard them mooing still. I thought they were close to being done. They looked done to me. You know, follow the directions to the letter. Yeah. As long as we had the ingredients, which about, I'd say we had
Starting point is 00:12:40 65-70% of the ingredients required to make the meal. Right. Well, if you look at the top part of the recipe, and it has a list, we had 65 to 70 percent of the ingredients required to make the meal right well if you look at the top part of the recipe and it has a list and you had don't look any further right but if you look at the bottom part closer like at the recipe we didn't have all of those yeah no i was there yeah who's who's to say whose fault it is right i i am and it's Drew's I don't know about that Yeah We went to his house
Starting point is 00:13:09 We cooked a bunch of food Oh And it's a great place Weird how he lives in like a cooking school Yeah Well that's how he makes money on the side The apartment right above you Hey
Starting point is 00:13:23 I hope those eggs are still safe from January. Anyway, go watch the video, Face Jam, Salina and Chef. It's great. Definitely better than what we're doing here today. Moving on. Chipotle. We haven't been here yet, have we? No. This is a newbie.
Starting point is 00:13:40 They don't usually do limited run things. Some would say they still haven't. You can make the argument, I'm sure. I'm sure a lot of people are asking whether or not it is and if it was worth it because they can't get it anymore. They're probably wondering, did Eric pick this one just because he likes 21 Pilots? Who's to say?
Starting point is 00:14:07 Again, I'm not in the skeleton crew or whatever, so textbook deflection. He's pretending like he doesn't know. He did it on purpose, yeah. He did it on purpose. He almost said click, but he was like, oh, I want to act like I'm distant from it, so I'll get it wrong on purpose. Yeah, I'm going to act like I'm distant from the skeleton. Hey, we like the thing that you like. It's not yours
Starting point is 00:14:28 anymore. Oh, are you a clicker? This guy's a clicker. I don't know about that. Anyway. So do you like Chipotle in general? I think it's fine. I don't avoid it, but I also don't seek it out. It's probably one of the few restaurants that we've done that I have eaten more than two or three times on this show.
Starting point is 00:14:59 But if I'm hungry for Mexican food, I live in Austin, Texas. I'm going to get something else besides Chipotle. It's funny. One, to further what you said, I would say not only is it a place you've probably eaten at more than two or three times, but almost certainly you've eaten there more than I have, I can say, because I'd never go there. But I'd never had it in my life until I moved to Texas. And even then, again, it's a thing where, like, people just go, and I'm like, I'll eat it.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I won't avoid it. Like, sometimes, like, they get it for lunch at work or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, gave me the tacos. But it's funny because you make a very valid point to say you live in Austin, Texas, and there's, you know, like real authentic food you can get. However, as I've seen,
Starting point is 00:15:53 it also has the Torchy's effect where there are people here in Austin, Texas that will not stop talking about Chipotle. Like it's the greatest thing ever. And I'm just like, I just don't get it. There are people who are from here. Yeah. Right. Or have lived here a long time and it's just like this. Oh shit. like I just don't get it. There are people who are from here. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Or have lived here a long time and it's just like this. Oh shit. Hey, you have family coming to visit Austin and they want Mexican food? Take them to Chipotle. Hit up Torchy's Tacos and Chipotle. Sir, you're aware that they're from Colorado, right? They're not like a Texas-based institution.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Right. They're really big with people on protein kicks. They're all about, oh, for lunch every day, I got to get the bowl. Anything with the word power in it. It's always like, power burrito. Or like, power bowl. Power means strong. And people, you know, they go, I want to be strong. Are you just staring at yourself in the mirror?
Starting point is 00:16:53 What's going on? I'm looking at Jordan. Well, he's got his visor down, and I just see him looking like this. I'm looking at Jordan. He's just looking at himself. I think he put his mirror where Jordan is, and he's like, hey, buddy, you're the new Jordan. Yeah, he's like nodding when he's nodding at himself. And he was making kissy faces towards the mirror.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's very weird. It's weird because it looks like he's doing it to me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, with that little monster. Keep your little shyness touch away from me. Oh, no. He remembered. He remembered it.
Starting point is 00:17:22 He remembered it. Oh, he remembered. He remembered it. I saw someone say something like, although Eric definitely has the shietest touch, Face Jam still has the mightest touch because everything they touch is gold. Uh-huh. And I was just like, compliment the show and shit.
Starting point is 00:17:43 He's a piece of shit on Eric. Way to go. He's a piece of shit. Piece of shit on Eric. Way to go. Piece of shit. That's a great eight comment. One of the first times I ever went to Chipotle, maybe the first time. No, you know what? I take it back.
Starting point is 00:17:54 It might have been Freebird, which is very similar. The exact same restaurant? Yeah. I'm going to pull back. But in a similar fashion, I had someone explain it to me how to order because it's like you go down the line style and say, I want this, I want this, I want this, and they scoop it all in. And you can make, oh, man, these things.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Let me tell you, they have big-ass tortillas, right? Freebirds especially, they have massive ones. They take out one that's like three feet long and they just go, if you want it, we'll put it in here, bro. But they were telling me how they gauge, they try to find the heavier set people to place their order with because they tend to give them more food. Like, yo, when you go here, if there are people on the line, I always go to the big guy because he hooks me up with more meat.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Jesus Christ. And I was just like, oh, you got it down to that much of a science, huh? Maybe you go here too much. Exactly. Yeah. If you have secret tips for a restaurant. He's a big guy. I'm a big guy.
Starting point is 00:19:03 We kind of do this nod. I get three extra pieces big guy. I'm a big guy. We kind of do this nod. I get three extra pieces of chicken. I'm just saying. You know, they have the measuring scoop. Right. He dips in a second little scoop. He knows what's up. He probably saved like hundreds of dollars a year doing, like getting that extra food.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Absolutely. But yeah, so that's about my experience of Chipotle. I told a story about free birds. Yep. A place that is not where we eat. Yeah, exactly. A place that is only similar to Chipotle. Correct. A little bit.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Yes. All right, so what do we know? What's our past experiences with 21 Pilots? The radio's on sometimes when I'm driving my car. And that's where you hear them all the time constantly. And turns out, I have, and that's how I know who they are. Blurryface?
Starting point is 00:19:55 Crazy. Blurryface. Is that a song? Is that one of the people? Did he make the burrito? Yeah, is a guy named Blurryface? You'll find out in the click. Blurryface is like your insecurities and your doubts. And it's when you're not feeling good.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Why are you laughing? This sucks. What do you mean this sucks? What do you mean? I didn't want to learn this much about 21 pilots. I thought we were all going to be on the same page and be dunking on 21 Pilots. And now I have to hear about what their music is about. Well, I mean, it's up to interpretation.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Yeah, like all art, it's open. Right, like all art, perfect. Are you saying 21 Pilots aren't artists? Are you insinuating that right now with your words? Yeah, I would say this podcast is more artistic than 21 Pilots. Yeah, I would say that. Bold. Skeleton click is coming for you.
Starting point is 00:20:56 You're on the shit list. Be careful treading around the 21 Pilots subreddit because I'm sure this is going to find its way on there, and they're going to be like, whoever this guy is, he's going down. You're a marked man. You've got the mark of the skeleton on you. I just don't know. Like, Venn diagram-wise, what's that middle circle? Like, what's the middle, like, overlaps where it's, like, FaceJam fan, 21Pilots fan? Like, what's the middle?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Is it big because Mikey's there, or what? It's just Michael. Probably. When you get this big, Venn diagrams cover everything. You know what I mean? I'm like Katamari. I just keep scooping shit up. Are we up?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Guess what? You're a part of it now. Yeah, what's up? We ready for a 10-10 update? How are we just going are we ready you're a part of it now yep yeah what's up you're we didn't we ready for a 10 10 update well how are we looking i'm invested so i use we i i'll be honest i haven't checked in a bit i i can tell you this i can tell you this i can tell you this of firsthand knowledge um because i didn't want to get people too worried or upset. Right. People were already upset with the task I was attempting to undertake in itself. I was already, like, two under. Whoa. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Like, T-O-O under or T-W-O? Like, I was down 12. Whoa. So I was already under the 10, and so, like, I had the dilemma of, like, do I keep going and then slingshot back or do I start leveling off now right and maintain it all got too many thoughts
Starting point is 00:22:32 inside my head and started making me angry so I just stopped thinking and I haven't weighed myself since I like that strategy just don't worry about it until about like a month out right and see where you are and then just scramble a lot oh I can scramble Just don't worry about it until about like a month out. Right. And see where you are. And then worry about it. Scramble.
Starting point is 00:22:46 A lot. Oh, I can scramble. Yeah. That's what you do. Look, I haven't started my poo-poo pills yet. If I need a quick- You haven't? No.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Have we talked about those on the podcast? I'm going to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. And follow up, can we? I'm going lose... I'm gonna lose 20 pounds of toxic poop by simply taking two pills a night. So good. This is insane. It's so simple.
Starting point is 00:23:18 You'd be crazy not to do it. You're an idiot. You're an idiot not to do it. Like, you're gonna be in the middle of recordings and it's going to be like a dilemma. Here's the thing. I mean, next Fortnite is probably gonna be a problem for us. You thought
Starting point is 00:23:33 his computer dying was a problem? Just wait until he has to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. It's the reason I haven't started them yet. I can't. I haven't had a clear enough schedule where I can't start, yeah, at least a couple of days. Every time I look, I go, definitely can't do that.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Can't go to the bathroom nine times tomorrow. How about the next day? Are you looking like two days out? Be like, if I start taking them now, Thursday's packed. I need like three days to see how this journey is going to begin. I can't expect to ever have like a week or more, but I need like a good two or three days of runway just so I can take the plane off.
Starting point is 00:24:15 And then if I got a reduced load mid-flight, the cargo door is there. But yeah, I've read such reviews it won't start dropping pilots left and right i read i read reviews that were they spoke very highly of the procedure and people making bms upwards of seven times a day oh um are you gonna track how many you take over your journey? Can we get like a data sheet? I don't know that I could mentally keep up with that. I'll have to put up like a marker board in the bathroom or something.
Starting point is 00:24:54 There you go. It's like days in prison. Like a notch. Yeah. Tally it. Whoa, how many days you been on this stuff? One. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Oh, no. whoa how many days you been on this stuff one the most honest review that I saw and what really sold me on it is someone saying man these pills they really work they do exactly what they say I had to quit I couldn't handle too much pooping yeah someone was like day three and I just couldn't I can't live like this
Starting point is 00:25:23 so I said sign me up I can't live like this. So I said sign me up. And Michael's still doing it. He's still going for it. You have to go on the adventure. You're all coming with me whether you like it or not. Oh man. You'll get text alerts.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I'm game because I don't get to I don't have to do it but I get to like experience it on the peripheral, which is interesting. I had a friend of mine had a birthday recently. Not you. A lot of birthdays in May. Shut up. A lot of birthdays in May.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Yours was there, but I don't care, nor do I consider you a friend. But I just want to get the point across. Jesus Christ. Someone else had a birthday. He's trying to talk about someone's birthday, and he's just being mean. And I... Well, because you thought you were going to be like,
Starting point is 00:26:12 I saw you smiling. I looked over you, you kept pointing at himself. He was looking in the mirror being like, my birthday. He's still wearing a birthday hat. I don't know why. Because we're still celebrating my birthday month.
Starting point is 00:26:23 His shirt says birthday boy. A friend of mine, Alfredo, I gave him the second bottle for his birthday. Oh, my God. And I said, cheers, brother. We'll take this adventure together. Oh, my God. So these pills, these are some sketchy pills That you got That are designed
Starting point is 00:26:46 To make you For sure Cleanse your bowels Yeah Over the course of a couple of weeks They come in a glass 20 pounds A brown glass bottle
Starting point is 00:26:54 If that doesn't tell you anything Like Like in In the year 2021 Like in 1920s Yeah Well it's like Someone selling a tonic
Starting point is 00:27:01 From a cart Yeah you know like Old timey opium Yeah it's like that It's likeic from a cart. Yeah, you know like old-timey opium? Yeah, it's like that. Did it have a skull and crossbones on it? Yeah, but that was crossed out. And then it said, good, good pills. It just said the word snake oil, and I'm just going to do it.
Starting point is 00:27:19 I looked at the bottle, and I went, he's in the click. This guy knows. So I went, I looked at the bottle and I went, he's in the click. There's a, there's a, there's a picture of a skeleton on the bottle. And I said, that's what I'm going to look like when I'm done. He's going to be, he's going to be nine days into it, shitting his brains out, sweating. And he's going to have his head between his knees going, wish I could turn back time to the good old days. Yeah, but look, do you know what sucked? When Steve Rogers was
Starting point is 00:27:52 in that thing, he was like, and then they were like, shut it down. He's like, I can take it. That's going to be me. Because this is my hero's transformation. Michael Jones. I'm going to come out the other side. Captain America.
Starting point is 00:28:08 When that happens, can you just record a voice memo of it coming out and you yelling, I can take it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to do that. And then I'm going to walk out and someone needs to touch my pecs. Oh, my God. A lot of people don't know. How do you feel?
Starting point is 00:28:29 And I'm going to go, lighter. Lighter. The super soldier serum that he took was, in fact, just those pills, and he was just shitting his pants constantly in that machine. Oh, man. Well, I suppose we should get... That's Chipotle. What are you rated, Jordan?
Starting point is 00:28:50 Well, we're about half an hour in, so we should get to the haiku. Oh, haiku time. Yeah. This one's just front-loaded with Spittin' Silly. It's fine. We'll make this time up. Alright, here's our haiku for Chipotle. Yeah, no kidding.
Starting point is 00:29:09 You know Baja Fresh? This is like that, but better. With more E. coli. Whoa. He's counting. Yep. No, he got it. See, I counted once,
Starting point is 00:29:23 and then I'll be honest he could he could not do it anymore and i'm gonna turn him into like i'm gonna turn him into like sonnets and just stanzas and stanzas of of lines be like yeah haiku yeah sounds right sebastian sebastian sebastian stanzas oh I didn't track with that one. I didn't go on a walk with you there. Sorry. Well, it wasn't much of a walk. I'm Captain America.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Right, right, right. He's my friend. Bucky's not far from my thoughts. I could understand how you, a mere mortal, that might be a bit of a stretch. But, you know, when you drop a guy from a moving train. You're about to drop something. About 20 pounds. That's what he drop something. About 20 pounds into the wheelhouse. That's what he's referring. He's dropping them from the moving train.
Starting point is 00:30:09 I dropped half of Bucky Barnes last night. At Miele, our partner is the planet. Our appliances use less water and energy and are tested to last for 20 years of use. That's the ultimate form of sustainability. I'm Nelson Fresco, president of Miele Canada. From now until June 30th, every Miele dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests through the Miele Forest Initiative.
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Starting point is 00:31:13 and won't settle for less than number one find themselves on a team? Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another. It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge. And sparks are gonna fly. New episode Sundays. Watch free on CBC Gem. Alright, let's fax. This is a good episode.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Let's do fax. Let's do fax, please. I hope that you understand that this is an indication about how we feel about what we just ate. So anyway, we should probably get into the fax at some point. Good haiku, Jordan. Good haiku. Let's do the fax. Have we ever said, hey, we just did the spitittin' Silly first and not done it again?
Starting point is 00:32:05 Has that ever happened? No. Okay. I don't think so. Yep. First fact. Here we go. Blaze into it.
Starting point is 00:32:10 We're going to do the facts, and then the show's over. That's it. That's it. Nothing's going to pop up in between. Opening. In 1993, Chipotle was started in Denver, Colorado, by Stephen Ells as a way to raise capital to fund a fine dining restaurant. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:32:28 And look at him now. He has a lot of money. He's rich. He's rich as fuck. Did he ever open that restaurant? Yeah. I don't know. He probably, but I couldn't find it.
Starting point is 00:32:39 So is he fulfilled, I guess, is my question. Probably his bank account is fulfilled. Yeah. Fulfilled, I guess, is my question. Probably his bank account is fulfilled. Yeah, I have a feeling that the fulfillment comes when he opens his golden phone and looks at the number in the bank account, and it's just like zeros. It's like nine and then a bunch of zeros. He's feeling pretty good.
Starting point is 00:32:59 He's fulfilled. Steven, if you're listening, just know it's not too late. You can still achieve that dream. Wow. I'm pulling for you you need to stop saying steven if you're listening and hey steven i know you're listening and there you go you know it's more personal because we know that's right we don't we don't need to play games i'm just trying to stay humble you know i just oh you know hey if you i know we're really popular, but if you listen. Look, look, staying humble isn't how we snagged HBO Max and Selena and Chef, okay? Boom!
Starting point is 00:33:33 Like a couple of sharks taking big swings. This guy over here, this little worm, he's Jeremy Piven. Wow! Another HBO show. There you go. Big cuts. This little worm, he's Jeremy Piven. Wow. Another HBO show. I'm Arliss. Oh, my. You're from the 90s. Don't worry about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:58 That was a deep cut. Yeah, no kidding. Chipotle's success wasn't always self-made by 2005 mcdonald's had a 90 stake in the eatery and demanded changes be made like adding a drive-through franchising stores and getting ice cream machines then making sure those ice cream machines don't work it's fucked up why would they do that, then they sold all of their steak in 2006, and then it made so much money, and McDonald's started losing money.
Starting point is 00:34:31 It was like, whoops. Way to go, McDonald's. And now, good luck finding a McDonald's. Yeah, and honestly, would 21 Pilots do a McDonald's thing? No. They got Travis Scott. Yeah, or as people call the Travi Patty. The smile that he gave me after he said it really sold me on it.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Pretty funny, huh? It was no eyes, simply teeth. You sounded like you were going to throw up. I was excited. That's what, that's hey, when you're, people around the clique they called it the Travi Patty. People on the internet, they like Spongebob
Starting point is 00:35:13 and it was close enough. Look, don't shoot the messenger, alright? Guacamole is a hot commodity at Chipotle, with the chain going through about 97,000 pounds of avocados every day. Ready for this? Um, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:36 I think we're going to need some more chips. All right. Now, this was just text on a piece of paper, but the amount of teeth on that one was astronomical. I always like it when Aaron does those little, like, I think I'll have seconds. Because I always feel like you read them exactly how he's imagining them being read as he's typing it. Yeah, he finished it. It always translates perfectly.
Starting point is 00:36:10 He finished typing, and then a fucking zinger popped into his head. And he went, this is it, the death blow. And then he wrote it down. That's what I said. When he typed the last exclamation, he yelled, K-O. Okay, fatality. This fact is fucked. All right, let's see.
Starting point is 00:36:37 We can do it. Okay, one more rep. Chipotle has a sister restaurant called Pizzeria Locale. With a similar Chipotle build-your-own concept, but it has failed to expand because of places like Blaze and Mod Pizza, and also, I think because people found out that Subway makes pizza from this show, so that's probably taking the world by storm. And he is finger wagging everywhere.
Starting point is 00:37:08 I'll say a lot of people ever since that episode to this day will go, I seen it. I ordered it. I got it. The pizza. I'm not surprised. I knew there was pizza there, but people didn't know. The good word is spread about the pizza, though.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Yes. I think somebody. You got the word word out i don't think anybody knew about it i have a keen i'm an experienced eater with a keen eye you know somebody recently i want to say um said something along the lines of like they just just started working at Subway. This is on the socials. Got some hot info from the social team. And they were like, hey, I just started working at Subway. Here's the pizza box. We took a picture of the box that they sell the pizza.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Wow. They were like, it's real. Yeah. They quit later that day. Because they realized they were working at Subway. I'm going to smell like this place. I'm out of here. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:38:10 They were like, maybe if 21 Pilots collaborated with us. A 21 Pilots Subway sandwich. I'm just glad they didn't get fired for taking pictures of the box. Yeah. That's proprietary information. Secret recipe. Yeah. It's printed in the box. Yeah. The snow. That's proprietary information. Secret recipe. Yeah. It's printed in the box.
Starting point is 00:38:27 And finally, the last fact. Chipotle was hit, slammed, with a $25 million food safety fine for sickening more than 1,100 people with E. Coli and Salamonelli between 2015 and 2018. Rookie numbers, bragged Jack in the Box, who I did not contact, but they reached out anyway somehow.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Hold my beer, Jack said. Yeah, they killed the kids, right? Yeah, four of them. This resulted, I saw an infograph, this resulted in zero deaths. And it was like, yeah, Jack in the Box was like, hold the fucking phone, bro. That's some Mickey Mouse shit. He only got 1,100 people sick. Try killing four kids.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Dude, Jack in the Box is like, we've got 1,100 people sick, and that was just with our regular food. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. That's a day. They were relieved. They were still like, we're number one. And those are just the facts beautiful i'm i'm glad that uh the uh haiku managed to reference that fact before yeah that worked that worked out well you did great that was that we didn't
Starting point is 00:39:57 work together that's how we're just we're in sync bro i'm justin all alright that's enough Michael made it very clear to me that no you're not yeah I probably I'm probably Joey Fatone I'll be honest that was a pretty Lance thing to say honestly I was going to say Lance here's the thing
Starting point is 00:40:21 send me to space Joey Fatone he was always the easy target. Joey Fatone, still around. Yes, everywhere. It's true. He's still around, still working. He's still kicking. The other guy. He's also still kicking. Joey Fatone is probably the second most successful.
Starting point is 00:40:38 I would think so, yeah. JC Chazet tried to have a hit again in the mid-2000s, and it was close, but it didn't really. It's like, no, I don't think so, man. Yeah. We're not about this. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Lance Bass, he went to space and got burned up, right? Isn't that what happened? Yeah, he didn't make it back. Yeah, he went to space. You don't remember that? He was like, I want to go to space. You don't remember him going to space? No, did he really go to space? Why did Lance Bass go to space. You don't remember that? He was like, I want to go to space. You don't remember him going to space? No, did he really go to space?
Starting point is 00:41:07 Why did Lance Bass go to space? He wanted to go to space. Yeah. Is that all it takes? Well, when you're rich, yeah. You have to be Lance Bass. Is Lance Bass rich enough to go to space? I'd say he's more connected enough pop culture wise.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang wise that hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on now let's wait Michael just gave a pretty crucial piece of information cause I said is he rich enough to go to space and he said space camp those are different
Starting point is 00:41:39 one is space and one is a camp where you protect I said he wanted to go to space and I assume somewhere he got burned up cause we haven't heard What is space and what is a camp where you protect? I said he wanted to go to space. Uh-huh. Yeah. And I assume somewhere he got burned up because we haven't heard. He did that one rom-com movie. Uh-huh. He got burned up at space camp because he didn't put on sunscreen.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Probably got burned up at space camp. At space camp. Just saying. I know he wanted to go to space. And they went and they said We gotta make sure you got proper training first Two weeks away from your parents You gotta bring
Starting point is 00:42:14 Alright okay Alright alright Alright 21 Pilots Burrito I'm moving on We're done here 21 Pilots Burrito features Chicken, moving on. We're done here. 21 pallets burrito features chicken, white rice, fresh tomato salsa,
Starting point is 00:42:29 roasted chili corn salsa, cheese, romaine lettuce, and queso blanco in a warm flour tortilla. There you go. So now you know. So next week, or today, when this episode's out, there's the ingredients.
Starting point is 00:42:46 What the fuck was that? Well, that was him laughing because Jordan was like, next week and then realized that if you're listening to this, it's already next week. It's now. And I kind of giggled, Nick loved it. Jesus. Sometimes I feel like Nick's just waiting for someone else to laugh so that he could bust out. That's all that was.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Nick's waiting for someone else to laugh so that he could bust out. He's excited. Give him an inch and he'll take it. Listen, he's trapped at home. This is his only reprieve. He's let out for two hours once every two weeks. He can eat a burrito in a parking lot until he has to go back home. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:30 All right. Let's see the explanation here from the press material. You got it. As part of the partnership, Chipotle is celebrating the band's upcoming album, Scaled and Icy. That's a horrible name. And their one night only global live stream event on May 21st, 2021.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Wow, that was three days ago. Hey! The show will be during catalog. Pull attention. That's our day. I'm going to cut in. That's Ghost Kitchen Day. Fuck you!
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yep. That's why we're waiting until it's already done to advertise it. Exactly. The thing already happened. They can't steal our viewers now. The show will feature a catalog spanning set list, dynamic performances
Starting point is 00:44:20 and live debut of new material from the new album. Wow, they really cared enough about that. We won't give specifics, and we won't ham it up too much. It'll be new. New stuff. If you're waiting for new stuff from 21 Pilots, this event three days ago was the thing for you.
Starting point is 00:44:41 You going to read it? You read it. Well, I read it. It says... Why do you need to read it? You read it. Well, I read it. It says... Why do you need to read it? There's nothing to worry about. It says, getting the food. Uh-huh. I use the app because I want them to skate the food to me in the rain. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Yeah. That's what I want Chipotle to do. Did they do it? No. You had to go there and you go, one it out to me two make it rain i don't know what's more doable i want one of them you either start summoning something or go buy some rollerblades but i want something something to happen. Oh, man. The reason it's last week's is because nothing happened. It was a very uneventful getting the food.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Bullshit. I mean, it was fine. I ordered it, and it was easy, and then I waited 25 fucking minutes. You were so late. 25 minutes. I ordered it, and then they just kept not giving it to me. Let me tell you a little tale we talked about before we started here that you missed out because you were fucking around. I don't know what you were doing.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Yeah, that's what I was doing. But I got here first, which never happens, right? Right. I'll be honest. I was a little scared, a little confused because I pulled up and I was like, where is everybody? So I didn't see anybody. And so I kind of just drove up a little. I was like, where is everybody? So I didn't see anybody. And so I kind of just drove up a little. I was like, no, okay, whatever.
Starting point is 00:46:09 And I just stopped and I went, I get, my doorbell went off. And I was like, guess I'm the first one here. And I just sat there. And then like a minute later, probably less, Jordan pulls up and I'm like, hey. And so he much like this he parks in front of me and I was blasting
Starting point is 00:46:29 some 21 pilots trying to turn back time maybe get you here on time didn't work and we got out we both commiserated about how you were late and then
Starting point is 00:46:41 fucking big dog Nick shows up in his big dog car yeah he's a big dog car. Yeah, he's a big dog car. Fucking barreling through. It was like, vroom, vroom. He pulls up, right?
Starting point is 00:46:53 And Jordan's like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And so he left. Nick gets out of the car. I get out of the car. And Nick looks down and he goes, this isn't a parking space. And I go, what? And I look and I was parked on the end and jordan's just parked in the middle of where you drive through the parking lot what the fuck and now nick's parked next to him because nick just pulled up and we were like oh how that
Starting point is 00:47:18 happened and so while jordan's gone i go well I guess we should just move. So, like, I just back my car up in reverse. Nick moves his car, and now Jordan's car is right in the middle of the lot. Imagine walking away from everyone's cars being parked in a very normal way. And then you come back from the bathroom, and suddenly your car is further away from everyone else's. And for some reason in the middle of the road. Yeah. He comes back. So my first instinct is to go, did my car move itself?
Starting point is 00:47:55 Yeah. He goes, did my car move? And I just, I honestly couldn't tell you if he was serious or not. And I went, yeah, I just started rolling backwards. And Nick's like, yeah, was it not supposed to do that? And Jordan's just standing there looking at it going, what happened? And I went, hey, call Elon. Let him know.
Starting point is 00:48:16 They're sacking up again, man. Can't be happening then. I actually went. I sat in my car. I put a picture in the Discord. Look at the general. Look at the discord look at it look at it I went back I sat in my car
Starting point is 00:48:30 and it has it has it has the feet of like all the cameras around it it didn't look like that when we were all there together we both moved our cars
Starting point is 00:48:42 and went man he looks like an idiot now yeah yeah I said it's like that thing when you park and like somebody's like together. We both moved our cars and went, man, he looks like an idiot now. Yeah. Yeah, I said it's like that thing when you park and somebody's a little too close to the line, so you gotta park a little further away from them and you're crowding the next line
Starting point is 00:48:56 and then that person leaves and you look like the asshole. It was that, but with a parking spot that didn't exist. It was kind of like that, but you were the first person that parked there, and you just parked it wrong. Right. No one did anything to you.
Starting point is 00:49:10 You just did that. Here's where it comes back to Eric, because what we decided was Michael showing up first, he didn't know what to do. He just kept going, and he stopped. And then we just filled in like we usually do. And, you know, if you had been here, you probably would have parked in the right spot. All of that, it all came back to if you had been here on time,
Starting point is 00:49:34 everything would have fit together like a puzzle. All of that. Anyway, let's review the food. Just with a soundtrack of 21 pilots playing on top of it. Yeah, that's this episode in a nutshell. Hey, did my car move? Honestly, it seemed like the most reasonable explanation. I also like the idea of the question of not just moved, an entire parking space.
Starting point is 00:50:02 You know what I mean? Like, did my car back up one length like one car length but then i went i went and looked at like the camera feed on the on the car just to make sure it didn't do that and i was like oh yeah i saw you guys backing up i go oh this makes much more sense i'm okay yeah that was the that was the best part of it he said he was kind of like what happened and we and we went, we don't know, man. And then just didn't say anything. And that was the end of the conversation.
Starting point is 00:50:29 And he just pulled up his video camera to find out what had actually happened. I had to know. Oh, my car didn't move. You guys move. Now I got it. Now there's a clear picture. Oh, man. And that's Chipotle.
Starting point is 00:50:47 There it is. Only 51 minutes in. Yep. We've gotten to the end. And now it's time for snack attack. I mean, review the food. Oh, we review it. We snack.
Starting point is 00:50:59 We got to load the ads. This is going to be probably a 40-minute episode, I say. Yeah, it'll be right around 40. Once we cut everything down, yeah. I wish the press material had explained, like, just, like, how the 21 Pilots guys, like, chose their ingredients for their special burrito. It's also, like, here's what I don't like about it.
Starting point is 00:51:29 There's two of them. Are you telling me they both like the exact same thing? Right. Unlikely. Did they even eat it at this point is my question. They couldn't even give like, this is what this one likes and this is what this one likes. They just went, nah.
Starting point is 00:51:44 We know both of their names being in the skeleton clip. We just don't have time to see it. Yeah, I'm not trying to alienate the audience who doesn't know them. Blurry face. Skeleton hands. Blurry face. Who cares what you think? But, yeah, I mean, Chipotle in general is fine fast casual food,
Starting point is 00:52:04 and this was nothing crazy. Oh, man. Sole in general is fine. It's fine, fast, casual food. And this was nothing crazy. Oh, man. Their queso blanco is pretty good. It was a little cold because it's been sitting there for a little bit. Because he took forever. Here's what I want to say. You called this and I had to agree.
Starting point is 00:52:22 There was definitely cilantro in there. And that's not on this list. It just says white rice, doesn't it? The white rice just says white rice, but I guess it's their white rice, which is the cilantro lime rice. Yeah, it's implied that, you know, if you're a connoisseur or a devotee of Chipotle or 20 Pilots in general,
Starting point is 00:52:38 you know what kind of white rice they're working on. Fuck. I have to question everything now. On the burrito, it had the ingredients listed, They're working. Fuck. I have to question everything now. On the burrito, it had the ingredients listed, and it said mild tomato. No mention of mild tomato on here, which was a funny way to describe a tomato to me. Oh, no. So do we even know what we ate?
Starting point is 00:53:03 I'm so lost. It was a burrito. We have inconsistencies with cilantro, with mild tomatoes. We ate a chicken burrito. I like... He went to Chipotle and we got a chicken burrito. Hey! Yeah? Hey, show some respect!
Starting point is 00:53:18 21 Pilots tricked us into eating a regular ass burrito from Chipotle. Exactly. We could have had Wendy's! That's this episode. It's like hanging out with Bruce. It's like Jesus Christ, man. We could have worked us into eating a regular ass burrito from Chipotle. Exactly. We could have had Wendy's. That's this episode. It's like hanging out with Bruce. It's like Jesus Christ, man. We could have eaten Wendy's. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:30 It's true. Maybe next time. But that Wendy's food will be here next week. This won't be. We're both strong. There's a review somewhere in here, but the score is 89. Good luck finding it. What?
Starting point is 00:53:53 What the fuck? You gave this an 89? What the fuck? Do you not think it was good? I'm sorry, what? It's a Chipotle burrito. Is this for fucking real? Did you really just give this an 89? What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:54:11 Did you not think it was good? I thought it was good. I mean, there's good and there's 89. 89? Chipotle is high tier food already. Did he rate this higher than the pretzel pub chicken sandwich? Guaranteed. You're damn right I did. That thing sucks. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:54:30 This thing's food at least. He didn't get the spicy, so he's still salty about it. I didn't get a frosty either. No, I got you frosty, Chino. Yeah, if you got me a frosty, maybe that thing's pushing 98. You're welcome, I got you more.
Starting point is 00:54:46 You're welcome. I think I might hit a Frosty Chino on the way home. We said Frosty Chino, and I went, damn. Nobody orders those on purpose. This also reminds me, like, we could have had the Wendy's bacon bourbon. What is it? Bourbon bacon cheeseburger or whatever. Bourbon bacon cheeseburger or whatever. Bourbon bacon cheeseburger
Starting point is 00:55:09 and I was really excited. I've had it three or four times. What the fuck? Well, it was before you put it on the table. I can't. Yeah, until you mention it, he's allowed to eat it. You know how many times I go there and get the spicy fucking
Starting point is 00:55:24 pub sandwich? Tantalizing me with a new sandwich. You think I'm not going to order it? I had it regular. I've got it with the pretzel bun. I've had options. It's definitely better with the pretzel bun. It's always better with the pretzel bun.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Tune in in two weeks when we eat it again. I'll pretend like I haven't had it. Don't worry. We filmed these out of order. Yeah, we did that one in July that already happened um 89 incredible so yeah it was good
Starting point is 00:55:56 um surprisingly like there was a lot of stuff in it but it's all pretty tame stuff. There's nothing really in there that is like, whoa. You know, rice, salsa, corn, cheese, lettuce, yucky. But what can you get from Chipotle that has that wow factor?
Starting point is 00:56:22 I don't know. I don't go there. I don't know, but I guess my point is more like when you order something that has 12 ingredients, you're usually like risking something
Starting point is 00:56:32 that's like, I don't like that. Or like, I'm not risking E. coli by eating a chipotle. That's true. Just by going. Yeah, but,
Starting point is 00:56:39 but, but not death. Yeah, it's true. It's true. You know what I mean? Eating a Jack in the Box is just living a little closer to the edge. That's like saying, hey, I got COVID, and someone going, oh, my God, are you okay?
Starting point is 00:56:56 And you go, well, I had the vaccine three months ago. And you just go, okay. So you weren't going to die. Yeah, you weren't really in danger. Yeah, you weren't really in danger. Like, that sucks, but don't.'t okay i see what you've done you tried to get attention and it wasn't warranted and that's why chipotle did it that's why they poison all those people that's what it is they wanted to get attention but they weren't bold enough to cross the line right jack and jack in the box
Starting point is 00:57:21 jack in the box wanted bodies and kids yep they. They got bodies to fucking back up their claim. You know what I mean? Yep. They're edgy. Let the bodies hit the floor. They're edgy, bro. Oh, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:34 They're going to be doing a... Jack in the Box will be doing a musical promotion with Metallica or... Drowning Pool. Nine Inch Nails. Yeah. Ooh. Nin. Nine inch nails. Yeah. Ooh. Nin. Doja Cat.
Starting point is 00:57:48 But the second ends backwards. Nice. Anyway, I didn't like the cilantro. Other than that, it was good. It was fat, but it wasn't as big as I thought it would be. It was like a rock. It was shaped like a rock. Square shaped. but it wasn't as big as I thought it would be. It was like a rock. The burritos got smaller. It was shaped like a rock. Square-shaped.
Starting point is 00:58:12 76. It was good. 82.5. I wasn't screaming, but I enjoyed it. It was good. If I end up getting food poisoning, mine's going down to an 88. Oh no. What kind of
Starting point is 00:58:29 window do you have? Like 24 hours? We'll know by next episode. We'll see. Okay. 82.5 for this burrito. I just feel like this is not a bad idea, actually. I like this. I feel like we should institute some sort of post-recording window
Starting point is 00:58:46 where we can re-evaluate. You process the food. I think we've already talked about doing that and decided not to do it. No, no, no. In the early days, yeah. Just based on sickness. Oh, so if you get sick. You can't come back a day later and say,
Starting point is 00:59:02 I thought about it, I don't like it. You can come back a day later and say, I fucking about it, I don't like it. You can come back a day later and say, I fucking threw up for six hours last night after I ate this food. We should put a warning label on it. What about? I'm just saying,
Starting point is 00:59:13 we should have some sort of warning label. What about like tummy licks? And Jordan says, I'm hitting them with the penalty, red card, minus five. Just food for thought. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:59:23 This is the meeting because we have meetings and I never show up to them. I'm not showing up to the one later today. You asked me about the one earlier and then went, oh, never mind. It's canceled. I didn't have to go. That I was going to show up to with nine minutes left. Yep.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Is it too late? It's been canceled. I'm free. I'm here. I'm here. It's been canceled for two days. But what is the threshold on that? Is a stomach ache like you ate a bad apple?
Starting point is 00:59:50 No. This is why we can't have this rule because of these questions. He's a stickler. Maybe I shit my brains out. I shit my pants. That should be a qualifier. Hey, we ate that food and I shit my pants. A two shit minimum.
Starting point is 01:00:01 a qualifier. Hey, we ate that food and I shit my pants. A two shit minimum. I think throwing up or shitting yourself should warrant some sort of discussion. That's all I'm saying. Okay. That's all I'm saying. We can keep that in mind. Eric's already done with it because he's taking his headphones out. I'm fine with that.
Starting point is 01:00:19 The less he's in this, the better. I'll be honest, I hope he doesn't put them back on. Hey, what's up, buddy? One of these days we should just trick him and do this episode without him. Yeah, that's fine. Ooh. Thanks a lot. We can see.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Hey, peace be with you. Oh, no, thank you, sir. He gave us candy and a little card. Oh, it's a lot of writing in here. Defeatsies. Frailing clusters. How old are these? Are these from like...
Starting point is 01:00:53 Well, there's a note. Well, okay, here we go. We've been given some candy and a note. It is Christmas themed. Interesting to note right off the bat. Well, go ahead. I was going to say, Interesting to note right off the bat. Okay, never mind. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Interesting to note right off the bat, this is a Reese's, but on the package it says Reese. There's no apostrophe S on it. Whoa! You're right. The more I look
Starting point is 01:01:23 at it, the more weird it looks. I can't tell if it's off-brand or not. Maybe this card will reveal its secrets. All right. Let's look. Hi, Face Jam. I'm sorry the Subway coupons I sent expired. In my defense, it was all Eric's fault.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Please enjoy these Reese Cluster things. They're my favorite Christmas delicacy, and hopefully Eric gives them to you before Christmas. Thank you for your service. Not how you should use that phrase, Megan. No, I kind of liked it. I kind of liked it.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I think I should be the first to board an airplane. Me first. Hey, I co-host Face Jam. Back of the line. Back of the line, you and your silly outfit. Jordan said. So, I mean, it made it
Starting point is 01:02:15 before Christmas 2021. You're welcome. Was that what you were shooting for? Probably not. We almost made it back around to Christmas being coming up. Listen, we have a lot of snacks. You guys think? Eat your fucking praline.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Bro, you love that one. He really did. You love that. He's losing it. He's fucked up. He's a No! Stop using your windshield wipers. There go the wipers. It's a bullshit. Okay, I'm gonna ask you something. How is this different?
Starting point is 01:02:55 I guess there's more like, there's like caramel or something? Yeah. Yeah, there's some other stuff in there. It's very similar to just a Reese's. It's very sweet. It's got some, it's a little sweeter and it's very similar to just a Reese's. It's very sweet. It's got some... It's very sweet. It's a little sweeter and it's got like a little... It's got that praline
Starting point is 01:03:10 crunch. I don't know what praline is. I was expecting it to be crunchier. Me too. Yeah. I thought it was gonna have like a take five or something. I think there were three clusters and they were about microscopically sized. Also, I didn't get to crunch any of them. They just kind of-
Starting point is 01:03:27 Disappeared? Yeah, they got swallowed. It's very good. It's very good. It's good. It's a Reese's. Or it's a Reese. I'm not sure which one it is.
Starting point is 01:03:36 I said, it's a Reese. It's a singular, non-possessive. I mean, that's caramel, right? That was loaded with- I think so, yeah. That's not normal to a Reese's. Nope. Right?
Starting point is 01:03:48 But it's normal to a Reese's, maybe. Yeah. I liked it. I definitely could not eat a lot of those. I wish it was crunchier. I wish there were more clusters. Just because I feel like that was promised. Right.
Starting point is 01:04:03 But that was a tasty little snack. I could see that. Yeah, I was expecting like a turtle or something, you know? Yeah, right. Turtles are good. Dude, I feel like there's some sort of commission where you can't just go making chocolate in a turtle's because there's a certain level of expectation when you're eating a turtle. If it's turtle shaped, it better be
Starting point is 01:04:26 fucking good. And for the most part, I think it is. Right? People make willy-nilly shapes all over. Watch out. Here comes another grack attack. Watch yourself, counselor.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Leading! It was good. I liked it. I'm gonna slam it with a 92. Jordan? Interesting. I was gonna give it an 89, but everything you were saying, I agreed with, so I was just gonna go with your score, so I'm gonna go with a 92.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Whoa! There you go. Makes it easy. Nice average score, 92. Megan, very good snack. Good snack, much appreciated. Oh, yes. Excellent handwriting, too. Very small print. They got so
Starting point is 01:05:18 much in such a tiny card. Wow, that is a tiny card. Merry Christmas 2021. Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you don't have to because we have a lot right now. But don't worry about that. You can send us snacks at Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You can follow us at Face Jam Pod on Twitter and Instagram. Stay up to date with everything we got going on.
Starting point is 01:05:47 By the time this comes out, FaceJam Ghost Kitchen will have already gone live. Ah! Boo! Whoa. Were you scared? Yeah. Terrified. How do you guys think it went?
Starting point is 01:05:59 I think we scared everyone. Killer. That's what I like to hear. So if you want to check it out, it'll actually be everyone. Killer. That's what I like to hear. So if you want to check it out, you'll actually be up. One of us are dead. Damn. Wow.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Well, people said we couldn't take the record from Jack in the Box, but we proved them wrong. Five isn't a lot. Ghost Kitchen will be out today. Later today on Rooster Teeth. So go to roosterteeth.com or use the Rooster Teeth app. You'll be able to check out Face Jam Ghost Kitchen.
Starting point is 01:06:36 But I think it's for first members only. So you got to be a first member to check it out. If for the VOD. It's worth it. Yeah. Let me know what you think by tweeting at face jam pod um if you like the stuff that we were wearing and and the uh the cool new merchandise that we have for face jam you can get that at store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs the ghost
Starting point is 01:06:59 kitchen stuff is awesome i like the it's very cool haunted chicken sandwich hoodie is probably my favorite but i've been wearing that shit for like a month yeah you said to me hey they want us to wear the new shirts on friday and i thought what new shirts and then i realized i was wearing one of the shirts you were talking about they weren't had them for so long yeah i've worn all of them several times we like you can see these items that Michael has been wearing in a bunch of different videos. So check them out.
Starting point is 01:07:30 They're all really cool. We have an awesome design team that we've been working, like, really closely with that have great ideas for what just came out for Ghost Kitchen, for what's coming out in June, and then what's coming out July in RTX.
Starting point is 01:07:43 That stuff is gonna be fucking bomb. We're also asking about the compliments crackle hat that I was wearing. Yes. Oh, you snuck in. You snuck it in. Yeah. That will be coming up soon. Yes. It won't be this month.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Hang on. Yes, it won't be this month, but stay tuned to follow at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter yes it won't be this month but stay tuned follow at face jam pod on Instagram and on Twitter for all the information that you need to stay up to date with your favorite show and our heroes and what they're doing
Starting point is 01:08:15 there you go that's the show you know what my favorite part about ghost kitchen was what Nick kept saying go for six go for six go for six, go for six, go for six. Go for six? Well, we had five dead kids.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Yeah, we only had five. Oh, I got it. Okay. Wow. That's fucked up. I can't believe he would say that. I must not have heard it. With the blood loss. Tell a friend about the show. Where we eat the food And rate that food
Starting point is 01:08:46 No dead kids Goodbye

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