100% Eat - Chipotle 21 Pilots Burrito
Episode Date: May 25, 2021In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Chipotle 21 Pilots Burrito so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Mr Blurryface and he cares what you think. Sponsored b...y: DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam), and HBOmax (http://hbom.ax/facejam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee.
Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time.
This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell.
To hear them in person, plan your trip at
tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it.
I feel like the song just hit better this episode.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'd-
Shut up, Skank!
Turn off your windshield wipers!
You probably do.
I paused before I said you probably do, so by the time I came back, it doesn't make any sense.
Thanks to DoorDash, Honey, and HBO Max for making this show possible.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.
Jordan, how are you?
Great, thanks.
You didn't know where it was going to go.
No, I didn't.
I always feel like these questions are just set up for me to react to whatever bit you just did,
and it's not a genuine question of how I'm doing.
Well, the thing is it's not a genuine question because I'm not asking it.
He's telling me to ask it.
So I try to add a little realism to it.
And I know in the past—
I'm going, how are you?
Well, in the past, I've said, how are you?
And you're like, that didn't seem— now you seem like you don't want me here.
So I tried to lure you in.
By making your voice go higher?
And then I brought it back up!
That means I'm happy!
I'm happy!
Happy Mikey and Jordan are here doing some face jam.
Perfect intro.
Plus 10.
Plus 10. Plus 10.
Plus 10.
I mean, it just hit harder.
The intro hit harder.
Anyway, we don't know how you are.
You refuse to answer.
That's fine.
For some reason, we do this every two weeks, and you refuse to answer the question.
So I don't know.
I feel like I did answer it.
To take over from there as the co-host to go, hey, I'm doing great.
Really excited to be here.
Wow, we ate at this restaurant.
How are you, Michael?
Like, really just sort of underhand pitching you so you can just get on base, bud.
You know what?
I never thought about that.
Do you want me to make a joke out of Michael's thing instead?
I thought that was pretty funny.
He always takes it and then goes, I don't know about that.
He never asks me.
He doesn't throw it back.
I'm playing catch with myself out here.
You ever see that happen?
Well, it's not written anywhere for me to ask you.
Ground.
Well, how are you?
I'm feeling pretty good.
Thanks.
It doesn't say anywhere I'm supposed to ask you how you're doing.
And you know what?
I wasn't even feeling good until you finished asking the question
because the question validated me as a person,
and that made me feel good.
So at the beginning of the question,
if someone was tracking my pulse,
it would have been low.
Like, uh-oh, he's coding.
And then when you got to the end,
when you said you and that question mark,
and then you put the dot on the question mark,
someone yelled clear, and then I came back.
And now I'm loving it.
Now I'm Frankenstein's monster.
The defibrillator was like right above you.
They were about to shock you.
And they were like, hold on, we got a pulse.
It's a miracle.
Someone said, call it.
Yeah.
And the nurse said, call it a miracle.
He was like taking his gloves off.
And he's like, I'm done here.
And then, miracle.
Whoa.
Anyway, what's going on?
What did we eat?
What's going on? Anyway, what's going on? What did we eat? What's going on?
Anyway, what's going on?
It's a valid question.
What?
It's a valid question.
Damn, dude.
Anyway, where am I?
I wish I could turn back time and do the intro again.
Oh, man.
To the good old days.
That's not what I said.
I don't even understand what you're talking about.
To the good old days.
That's not what I said.
I don't even understand what you're talking about.
What we've consumed and will now commence to review is Chipotle's 21 Pilots Burrito.
So, we're eating people now.
A little piece of every 21 of them. I'm a little people eater.
Collect them all.
Yeah.
Bit of a stretch, huh? piece of every 21 of them. I'm a little bee believer. Collect them all. Yeah. Hmm.
Bit of a stretch, huh?
This episode? Well,
it's another one of those
it's another one of those
well, it's not really an exclusive item.
This is just what some guys like
to eat.
What's even better is
that apparently this is only available this week the week yeah by the time
this episode is out before the episode comes out right you you can't order i mean you can't order
this loophole right loophole because it's just some stuff two guys like to eat you can't go
order it yourself by ordering the list of ingredients.
There's nothing new or special in it. Right.
Just don't, for the love of God, try and order the 21 Pilots burrito or they will throw you off the premises.
It's also a thing where I'm not sure if this is the case, but this is how it felt.
This is how it felt.
I think you can only order it online or through the app because there is zero signage or any, like, there's not a picture of any of the pilots.
You're telling me Chipotle isn't decked out, like, going all out on this 21 Pilots collaboration?
Like, Chipotle definitely needs their help. What did Jordan say before we started?
He said, do you think Chipotle came to them or they went to Chipotle?
I think it was Nick asking.
Who initiated this?
If 21 pilots went to Chipotle or if Chipotle approached 21 pilots.
The band went to Chipotle and went, we eat here a lot.
Just saying.
Million dollar idea right here.
Million dollars.
It's painful when it's this obvious because not everything can be like fully organically integrated like what we just did with Selena and Chef.
And what we did beautifully executed perfect 10 landing.
I mean, perfect 10 execution.
Plus 10.
20.
Perfect 20 out of 10 execution.
21.
Perfect.
Pilots out of 10.
No. perfect 20 out of 10 execution. 21. Perfect. Pilots out of 10. 21 pilots out of 10
execution on Selena and Chef.
Do you think
we decided to eat the Chipotle
21 Pilots burrito or 21 Pilots
came to us and asked us
to eat it and review it?
At this point, I'm not sure.
Man, I can't believe.
Now they're just doing anything anyone asks.
You know 21 Pilots said, hey, Face Jam, review our burrito, please.
We are ready to be judged.
Hold on.
We might be a little harsh on them because they could very easily have a podcast that we don't listen to.
Where they're always talking about Chipotle.
I'm being dead serious.
I'm in the skeleton. Jordan. I'm in the skeleton.
Jordan, I'm in the skeleton clique, okay?
What does that mean?
What the fuck does that mean?
You're not in the skeleton clique?
What is the skeleton clique?
It's just like the crew.
I mean, I have it.
That's what they call their group?
That's what we call ourselves.
What does that have to do
with pilots?
I know exactly that
I know for a fact that you are not in the skeleton
clique. Oh, I sure
am, bro. How long have
you been in the skeleton clique? One hour?
It's hard to say.
It all blends together. Could be an hour.
It feels like a decade.
It feels like it's weird because it's-
This band's definitely been around for a decade.
I pulled up and he's listening to 21 Pilots and he goes,
I needed to familiarize myself with their content.
Well, I was playing their music while we were eating the burrito
and while I was driving here.
I don't understand
why would they be the skeleton
click if they're
21 pilots?
We need 21 pilots facts.
You get 21 pilots on a plane,
there's only one way, you know,
you're getting down. Crash.
Everybody's a skeleton.
And then you hang out afterward.
Oh, yeah. You go,
oh, we're all dead.
I love this.
Wish I could turn back time to the good old days.
And then there's like glory face man.
Don't worry about it.
Anyway, I'm clicking.
We ate it.
We ate it.
And now we're going to talk about it.
But, yeah, we sort of mentioned and then didn't mention
the Selena and Chef thing.
This guy, super fan over
here, running his
little rodent mouth,
little rabies infested mouth
just
jabbering his
jaw, just gnawing away
at sewage and refuse
and ankles. What are you
getting at? This is long enough saying that
I'm just... No, it's not long. Well, no.
I could have gone on, and you've rudely
interrupted me, so I'll leave it at that. Quit critiquing us.
Yeah, stop. You're not in the skeleton clique,
okay?
This guy's talking about
Selina and Chef. I just joined
the skeleton clique.
Whoa!
What's the sign?
Hey.
Hey.
He's in.
No!
So anyway, we did a video for you.
Much like
Selena and Chef, we cooked things.
We were Selena and the Chef somehow.
Yes.
It didn't really track.
Yeah, there wasn't a one-to-one kind of translation from the show to our attempt at it.
We were Selena in that we didn't know what we were doing, but also we
were a chef in that we were giving directions.
Right.
We were giving directions to the chef.
Right.
Right.
Who was also kind of Selena.
Yeah.
But definitely not.
Listen, it didn't have to be.
Who was the monkey?
It didn't have to be one-to-one.
Good, because it wasn't. have to be one-to-one when you have the meeting with HBO Max and then they go um yeah so like a
Selena and chef thing is that what you're saying and then and then it's before they can even get
the words out of your mouth you're going yes yes yes uh it doesn't matter right it doesn't matter
if it's one-to-one but he means Yeah. Well, I'm using a royal you.
You know what I mean?
So it's, you know, so it works.
So it works.
And I'm sure Selena saw it.
I'm sure she didn't.
What?
Yeah.
Why?
It's on YouTube.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Well, anyway, we ate Chipotle.
Go watch the Selena and Chef Face Jam thing thing it's good it's fun we'll never speak of selena and chef again that's not no i think we're not a cooking show i think that's
what we learned by being a cooking show yes we had to because i thought maybe we could do it
michael did you forget the part where we undercooked the ribs and then somehow burned them at the same time?
Look, also, first of all, I didn't forget it, but also this little weasel over here kept saying,
they're definitely done, they're definitely done.
They looked done.
And then we pulled them off, and they were white on the inside.
We all just went, oh no. Oh no.
I think I heard them mooing still.
I thought they were close
to being done. They looked done to me.
You know, follow the directions
to the letter.
Yeah. As long as we had
the ingredients, which about, I'd say we had
65-70% of the ingredients
required to make the meal.
Right. Well, if you look at the top part of the recipe, and it has a list, we had 65 to 70 percent of the ingredients required to make the meal right well if you look
at the top part of the recipe and it has a list and you had don't look any further right but if
you look at the bottom part closer like at the recipe we didn't have all of those yeah no i was
there yeah who's who's to say whose fault it is right i i am and it's Drew's I don't know about that
Yeah
We went to his house
We cooked a bunch of food
Oh
And it's a great place
Weird how he lives in like a cooking school
Yeah
Well that's how he makes money on the side
The apartment right above you
Hey
I hope those eggs are still safe from January.
Anyway,
go watch the video, Face Jam,
Salina and Chef. It's great. Definitely better than what we're
doing here today. Moving on.
Chipotle.
We haven't been here yet, have we?
No. This is a newbie.
They don't usually do
limited run things.
Some would say they still haven't.
You can make the argument, I'm sure.
I'm sure a lot of people are asking whether or not it is
and if it was worth it because they can't get it anymore.
They're probably wondering, did Eric pick this one just because he likes 21 Pilots?
Who's to say?
Again, I'm not in the skeleton crew or whatever, so textbook deflection.
He's pretending like he doesn't know.
He did it on purpose, yeah.
He did it on purpose.
He almost said click, but he was like, oh, I want to act like I'm distant from it, so I'll get it wrong on purpose.
Yeah, I'm going to act like I'm distant from the skeleton.
Hey, we like the thing
that you like. It's not yours
anymore. Oh, are you a
clicker? This guy's a clicker.
I don't know about that.
Anyway.
So do you like Chipotle in general?
I think it's fine.
I don't avoid it, but I also don't seek it out.
It's probably one of the few restaurants that we've done that I have eaten more than two or three times on this show.
But if I'm hungry for Mexican food, I live in Austin, Texas.
I'm going to get something else besides Chipotle.
It's funny.
One, to further what you said, I would say not only is it a place you've probably eaten at more than two or three times,
but almost certainly you've eaten there more than I have, I can say, because I'd never go there.
But I'd never had it in my life until I moved to Texas.
And even then, again, it's a thing where, like, people just go,
and I'm like, I'll eat it.
I won't avoid it.
Like, sometimes, like, they get it for lunch at work or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, gave me the tacos.
But it's funny because you make a very valid point to say you live in Austin, Texas,
and there's, you know,
like real authentic food you can get.
However, as I've seen,
it also has the Torchy's effect where there are people here in Austin, Texas
that will not stop talking about Chipotle.
Like it's the greatest thing ever.
And I'm just like, I just don't get it.
There are people who are from here.
Yeah.
Right.
Or have lived here a long time and it's just like this. Oh shit. like I just don't get it. There are people who are from here. Yeah. Right.
Or have lived here a long time and it's just like this.
Oh shit.
Hey, you have family coming to visit Austin
and they want Mexican food?
Take them to Chipotle.
Hit up Torchy's Tacos and Chipotle.
Sir, you're aware that they're from Colorado, right?
They're not like a Texas-based institution.
Right.
They're really big with people on protein kicks.
They're all about, oh, for lunch every day, I got to get the bowl.
Anything with the word power in it.
It's always like, power burrito. Or like, power bowl.
Power means strong.
And people, you know, they go, I want to be strong.
Are you just staring at yourself in the mirror?
What's going on?
I'm looking at Jordan.
Well, he's got his visor down, and I just see him looking like this.
I'm looking at Jordan.
He's just looking at himself.
I think he put his mirror where Jordan is, and he's like, hey, buddy, you're the new Jordan.
Yeah, he's like nodding when he's nodding at himself.
And he was making kissy faces towards the mirror.
It's very weird.
It's weird because it looks like he's doing it to me, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah.
Yeah, with that little monster.
Keep your little shyness touch away from me.
Oh, no.
He remembered.
He remembered it.
He remembered it.
Oh, he remembered.
He remembered it.
I saw someone say something like,
although Eric definitely has the shietest touch,
Face Jam still has the mightest touch because everything they touch is gold.
Uh-huh.
And I was just like, compliment the show and shit.
He's a piece of shit on Eric. Way to go. He's a piece of shit. Piece of shit on Eric.
Way to go.
Piece of shit.
That's a great eight comment.
One of the first times I ever went to Chipotle,
maybe the first time.
No, you know what?
I take it back.
It might have been Freebird, which is very similar.
The exact same restaurant?
Yeah.
I'm going to pull back.
But in a similar fashion, I had someone explain it to me how to order
because it's like you go down the line style and say,
I want this, I want this, I want this, and they scoop it all in.
And you can make, oh, man, these things.
Let me tell you, they have big-ass tortillas, right?
Freebirds especially, they have massive ones.
They take out one that's like three feet long and they just go, if you want it, we'll put it in here, bro.
But they were telling me how they gauge,
they try to find the heavier set people to place their order with
because they tend to give them more food.
Like, yo, when you go here, if there are people on the line,
I always go to the big guy because he hooks me up with more meat.
Jesus Christ.
And I was just like, oh, you got it down to that much of a science, huh?
Maybe you go here too much.
Exactly.
Yeah.
If you have secret tips for a restaurant.
He's a big guy.
I'm a big guy.
We kind of do this nod. I get three extra pieces big guy. I'm a big guy. We kind of do this nod.
I get three extra pieces of chicken.
I'm just saying.
You know, they have the measuring scoop.
Right.
He dips in a second little scoop.
He knows what's up.
He probably saved like hundreds of dollars a year doing, like getting that extra food.
Absolutely.
But yeah, so that's about my experience of Chipotle. I told a story about free birds.
Yep.
A place that is not where we eat.
Yeah, exactly.
A place that is only similar to Chipotle.
Correct.
A little bit.
Yes.
All right, so what do we know?
What's our past experiences with 21 Pilots?
The radio's on sometimes when I'm driving my car.
And that's where you hear them all the time
constantly. And turns out,
I have, and that's how I know
who they are. Blurryface?
Crazy.
Blurryface.
Is that a song?
Is that one of the people? Did he make the burrito?
Yeah, is a guy named Blurryface?
You'll find out in the click.
Blurryface is like your insecurities and your doubts.
And it's when you're not feeling good.
Why are you laughing?
This sucks.
What do you mean this sucks?
What do you mean?
I didn't want to learn this much about 21 pilots.
I thought we were all going to be on the same page and be dunking on 21 Pilots.
And now I have to hear about what their music is about.
Well, I mean, it's up to interpretation.
Yeah, like all art, it's open.
Right, like all art, perfect.
Are you saying 21 Pilots aren't artists?
Are you insinuating that right now with your words?
Yeah, I would say this podcast is more artistic than 21 Pilots.
Yeah, I would say that.
Bold.
Skeleton click is coming for you.
You're on the shit list.
Be careful treading around the 21 Pilots subreddit because I'm sure this is going to find its way on there, and they're going to be like, whoever this guy is, he's going down.
You're a marked man.
You've got the mark of the skeleton on you.
I just don't know.
Like, Venn diagram-wise, what's that middle circle?
Like, what's the middle, like, overlaps where it's, like, FaceJam fan, 21Pilots fan?
Like, what's the middle?
Is it big because Mikey's there,
or what? It's just Michael.
Probably.
When you get this big,
Venn diagrams cover everything.
You know what I mean?
I'm like Katamari. I just keep scooping
shit up. Are we up?
Guess what? You're a part of it now.
Yeah, what's up?
We ready for a 10-10 update? How are we just going are we ready you're a part of it now yep yeah what's up you're we didn't we ready for a 10 10 update well how are we looking i'm invested so i use we i i'll be honest
i haven't checked in a bit i i can tell you this i can tell you this i can tell you this of firsthand
knowledge um because i didn't want to get people too worried or upset. Right. People were already upset with the task I was attempting to undertake in itself.
I was already, like, two under.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Like, T-O-O under or T-W-O?
Like, I was down 12.
Whoa.
So I was already under the 10, and so, like, I had the dilemma of, like,
do I keep going and then slingshot back
or do I start leveling off now
right and maintain
it all got too many thoughts
inside my head and started making me angry
so I just stopped thinking
and I haven't weighed myself since
I like that strategy just don't
worry about it until about like a month
out right and see where you are
and then just scramble a lot oh I can scramble Just don't worry about it until about like a month out. Right. And see where you are. And then worry about it.
Scramble.
A lot.
Oh, I can scramble.
Yeah.
That's what you do.
Look, I haven't started my poo-poo pills yet.
If I need a quick-
You haven't?
No.
Have we talked about those on the podcast?
I'm going to lose 20 pounds in two weeks.
And follow up, can we?
I'm going lose... I'm gonna lose 20 pounds of toxic poop
by simply taking two pills a night.
So good.
This is insane.
It's so simple.
You'd be crazy not to do it.
You're an idiot.
You're an idiot not to do it.
Like, you're gonna be in the middle of recordings
and it's going to be like
a dilemma. Here's the thing.
I mean, next Fortnite is probably gonna be a
problem for us. You thought
his computer dying was a problem?
Just wait until he has to go to the bathroom
every 15 minutes.
It's the reason I haven't
started them yet. I can't.
I haven't had a clear enough schedule
where I can't start, yeah, at least a couple of days.
Every time I look, I go, definitely can't do that.
Can't go to the bathroom nine times tomorrow.
How about the next day?
Are you looking like two days out?
Be like, if I start taking them now, Thursday's packed.
I need like three days to see how this journey is going to begin.
I can't expect to ever have like a week or more,
but I need like a good two or three days of runway
just so I can take the plane off.
And then if I got a reduced load mid-flight,
the cargo door is there.
But yeah, I've read such reviews it won't start
dropping pilots left and right i read i read reviews that were they spoke very highly of
the procedure and people making bms upwards of seven times a day oh um are you gonna track
how many you take over your journey?
Can we get like a data sheet? I don't know that I could mentally keep up with that.
I'll have to put up like a marker board in the bathroom or something.
There you go.
It's like days in prison.
Like a notch.
Yeah.
Tally it.
Whoa, how many days you been on this stuff?
One.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. whoa how many days you been on this stuff one the most honest review that I saw
and what really sold me on it
is someone saying man these pills
they really work they do exactly what
they say I had to quit I couldn't handle
too much pooping
yeah someone was like day three
and I just couldn't I can't live like this
so I said sign me up I can't live like this. So I said
sign me up.
And Michael's still doing it.
He's still going for it.
You have to go on the adventure.
You're all coming with me whether you like it or not.
Oh man.
You'll get text alerts.
I'm game because I don't get to
I don't have to do it but I get
to like experience it on the peripheral, which is interesting.
I had a friend of mine had a birthday recently.
Not you.
A lot of birthdays in May.
Shut up.
A lot of birthdays in May.
Yours was there, but I don't care, nor do I consider you a friend.
But I just want to get the point across.
Jesus Christ.
Someone else had a birthday.
He's trying to talk about someone's birthday,
and he's just being mean.
And I...
Well, because you thought you were going to be like,
I saw you smiling.
I looked over you,
you kept pointing at himself.
He was looking in the mirror being like,
my birthday.
He's still wearing a birthday hat.
I don't know why.
Because we're still celebrating my birthday month.
His shirt says birthday boy.
A friend of mine, Alfredo, I gave him the second bottle for his birthday.
Oh, my God.
And I said, cheers, brother.
We'll take this adventure together.
Oh, my God.
So these pills, these are some sketchy pills That you got
That are designed
To make you
For sure
Cleanse your bowels
Yeah
Over the course of a couple of weeks
They come in a glass
20 pounds
A brown glass bottle
If that doesn't tell you anything
Like
Like in
In the year 2021
Like in 1920s
Yeah
Well it's like
Someone selling a tonic
From a cart
Yeah you know like
Old timey opium Yeah it's like that It's likeic from a cart. Yeah, you know like old-timey opium?
Yeah, it's like that.
Did it have a skull and crossbones on it?
Yeah, but that was crossed out.
And then it said, good, good pills.
It just said the word snake oil, and I'm just going to do it.
I looked at the bottle, and I went, he's in the click.
This guy knows. So I went, I looked at the bottle and I went, he's in the click. There's a, there's a, there's a picture of a skeleton on the bottle.
And I said, that's what I'm going to look like when I'm done.
He's going to be, he's going to be nine days into it, shitting his brains out, sweating.
And he's going to have his head between his knees going, wish I could turn back time to the good old days. Yeah, but
look, do you know what
sucked? When
Steve Rogers was
in that thing, he was like,
and then they were like,
shut it down. He's like, I can take it.
That's going to be me.
Because this is my hero's
transformation. Michael Jones.
I'm going to come out the other side.
Captain America.
When that happens, can you just record a voice memo of it coming out and you yelling, I can take it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to do that.
And then I'm going to walk out and someone needs to touch my pecs.
Oh, my God.
A lot of people don't know.
How do you feel?
And I'm going to go, lighter.
Lighter.
The super soldier serum that he took was, in fact, just those pills,
and he was just shitting his pants constantly in that machine.
Oh, man.
Well, I suppose we should get...
That's Chipotle.
What are you rated, Jordan?
Well, we're about half an hour in, so we should get to the haiku.
Oh, haiku time.
Yeah.
This one's just
front-loaded with Spittin' Silly. It's fine.
We'll make this time up.
Alright, here's our haiku for Chipotle.
Yeah, no kidding.
You know
Baja Fresh?
This is like that, but better.
With more E. coli.
Whoa.
He's counting.
Yep. No, he got it.
See, I counted once,
and then I'll be honest he could he could not do
it anymore and i'm gonna turn him into like i'm gonna turn him into like sonnets and just
stanzas and stanzas of of lines be like yeah haiku yeah sounds right sebastian
sebastian sebastian stanzas oh I didn't track with that one.
I didn't go on a walk with you there.
Sorry.
Well, it wasn't much of a walk.
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Right, right, right.
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Bucky's not far from my thoughts.
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You're about to drop something.
About 20 pounds. That's what he drop something. About 20 pounds
into the wheelhouse. That's what he's referring.
He's dropping them from the moving train.
I dropped half of Bucky Barnes last night.
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Alright, let's fax. This is a good episode.
Let's do fax.
Let's do fax, please.
I hope that you understand that this is an indication about how we feel about what we just ate.
So anyway, we should probably get into the fax at some point.
Good haiku, Jordan.
Good haiku.
Let's do the fax.
Have we ever said, hey, we just did the spitittin' Silly first and not done it again?
Has that ever happened?
No.
Okay.
I don't think so.
Yep.
First fact.
Here we go.
Blaze into it.
We're going to do the facts, and then the show's over.
That's it.
That's it.
Nothing's going to pop up in between.
Opening.
In 1993, Chipotle was started in Denver, Colorado, by Stephen Ells as a way to raise capital
to fund a fine dining restaurant.
That's hilarious.
And look at him now.
He has a lot of money.
He's rich.
He's rich as fuck.
Did he ever open that restaurant?
Yeah.
I don't know.
He probably, but I couldn't find it.
So is he fulfilled, I guess, is my question.
Probably his bank account is fulfilled.
Yeah.
Fulfilled, I guess, is my question.
Probably his bank account is fulfilled.
Yeah, I have a feeling that the fulfillment comes when he opens his golden phone and looks at the number in the bank account, and it's just like zeros.
It's like nine and then a bunch of zeros.
He's feeling pretty good.
He's fulfilled.
Steven, if you're listening, just know it's not too late.
You can still achieve that dream.
Wow. I'm pulling for you you need to stop saying steven if you're listening and hey steven i know you're listening and there you go you know it's more personal because we know that's right we
don't we don't need to play games i'm just trying to stay humble you know i just oh you know hey if
you i know we're really popular, but if you listen.
Look, look, staying humble isn't how we snagged HBO Max and Selena and Chef, okay?
Boom!
Like a couple of sharks taking big swings.
This guy over here, this little worm, he's Jeremy Piven.
Wow! Another HBO show. There you go. Big cuts. This little worm, he's Jeremy Piven. Wow.
Another HBO show.
I'm Arliss.
Oh, my.
You're from the 90s. Don't worry about it.
Yeah.
That was a deep cut.
Yeah, no kidding.
Chipotle's success wasn't always self-made by 2005 mcdonald's had a 90
stake in the eatery and demanded changes be made like adding a drive-through franchising stores and
getting ice cream machines then making sure those ice cream machines don't work
it's fucked up why would they do that, then they sold all of their steak in 2006,
and then it made so much money,
and McDonald's started losing money.
It was like, whoops.
Way to go, McDonald's.
And now, good luck finding a McDonald's.
Yeah, and honestly, would 21 Pilots do a McDonald's thing?
No.
They got Travis Scott.
Yeah, or as people call the Travi Patty.
The smile that he gave me after he said it really sold me on it.
Pretty funny, huh?
It was no eyes, simply teeth.
You sounded like you were going to throw up.
I was
excited. That's what, that's
hey, when you're, people around the clique
they called it the Travi Patty.
People on the internet, they like Spongebob
and
it was close enough.
Look,
don't shoot the messenger, alright?
Guacamole is a hot commodity at Chipotle,
with the chain going through about 97,000 pounds of avocados every day.
Ready for this?
Um, yeah.
I think we're going to need some more chips.
All right.
Now, this was just text on a piece of paper,
but the amount of teeth on that one was astronomical.
I always like it when Aaron does those little, like, I think I'll have seconds.
Because I always feel like you read them exactly how he's imagining them being read as he's typing it.
Yeah, he finished it.
It always translates perfectly.
He finished typing, and then a fucking zinger popped into his head.
And he went, this is it, the death blow.
And then he wrote it down.
That's what I said.
When he typed the last exclamation, he yelled, K-O.
Okay, fatality.
This fact is fucked.
All right, let's see.
We can do it.
Okay, one more rep.
Chipotle has a sister restaurant called Pizzeria Locale.
With a similar Chipotle build-your-own concept,
but it has failed to expand because of places like Blaze and Mod Pizza,
and also, I think because people found out that Subway makes pizza from this show,
so that's probably taking the world by storm.
And he is finger wagging everywhere.
I'll say a lot of people ever since that episode to this day will go,
I seen it.
I ordered it.
I got it.
The pizza.
I'm not surprised.
I knew there was pizza there, but people didn't know.
The good word is spread about the pizza, though.
Yes. I think somebody. You got the word word out i don't think anybody knew about it i have a keen i'm an
experienced eater with a keen eye you know somebody recently i want to say um
said something along the lines of like they just just started working at Subway. This is on the socials.
Got some hot info from the social team.
And they were like,
hey, I just started working at Subway.
Here's the pizza box.
We took a picture of the box that they sell the pizza.
Wow.
They were like, it's real.
Yeah.
They quit later that day.
Because they realized they were working at Subway.
I'm going to smell like this place.
I'm out of here.
Oh, boy.
They were like, maybe if 21 Pilots collaborated with us.
A 21 Pilots Subway sandwich.
I'm just glad they didn't get fired for taking pictures of the box.
Yeah.
That's proprietary information.
Secret recipe.
Yeah.
It's printed in the box. Yeah. The snow. That's proprietary information. Secret recipe. Yeah. It's printed in the box.
And finally, the last fact.
Chipotle was hit, slammed, with a $25 million food safety fine for sickening more than 1,100 people with E. Coli and Salamonelli
between 2015
and 2018.
Rookie numbers, bragged Jack
in the Box, who I did not
contact, but they reached out
anyway somehow.
Hold my beer, Jack said.
Yeah, they killed the kids, right?
Yeah, four of them.
This resulted, I saw an infograph, this resulted in zero deaths.
And it was like, yeah, Jack in the Box was like, hold the fucking phone, bro.
That's some Mickey Mouse shit.
He only got 1,100 people sick.
Try killing four kids.
Dude, Jack in the Box is like, we've got 1,100 people sick, and that was just with our regular food.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with it.
That's a day.
They were relieved.
They were still like, we're number one.
And those are just the facts beautiful i'm i'm glad that uh the uh haiku managed to reference
that fact before yeah that worked that worked out well you did great that was that we didn't
work together that's how we're just we're in sync bro i'm justin all alright that's enough Michael
made it very clear to me
that no you're not
yeah I probably
I'm probably
Joey Fatone I'll be honest that was a pretty
Lance thing to say
honestly I was going to say Lance here's the thing
send me to space
Joey Fatone he was always the easy target.
Joey Fatone, still around. Yes,
everywhere. It's true. He's still around,
still working. He's still kicking. The other guy.
He's also still kicking.
Joey Fatone
is probably the second most successful.
I would think so, yeah.
JC Chazet tried to have
a hit again in the mid-2000s,
and it was close, but it didn't really.
It's like, no, I don't think so, man.
Yeah.
We're not about this.
Uh-uh.
Lance Bass, he went to space and got burned up, right?
Isn't that what happened?
Yeah, he didn't make it back.
Yeah, he went to space.
You don't remember that?
He was like, I want to go to space.
You don't remember him going to space?
No, did he really go to space? Why did Lance Bass go to space. You don't remember that? He was like, I want to go to space. You don't remember him going to space? No, did he really go to space?
Why did Lance Bass go to space?
He wanted to go to space.
Yeah.
Is that all it takes?
Well, when you're rich, yeah.
You have to be Lance Bass.
Is Lance Bass rich enough to go to space?
I'd say he's more connected enough pop culture wise.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang wise that hang on hang on hang on hang on
hang on
now let's wait
Michael just gave a pretty crucial
piece of information
cause I said is he rich enough to go to space
and he said space camp
those are different
one is space and one is a camp where you protect
I said he wanted to go to space
and I assume somewhere he got burned up cause we haven't heard What is space and what is a camp where you protect? I said he wanted to go to space. Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And I assume somewhere he got burned up because we haven't heard.
He did that one rom-com movie.
Uh-huh.
He got burned up at space camp because he didn't put on sunscreen.
Probably got burned up at space camp.
At space camp.
Just saying.
I know he wanted to go to space.
And they went and they said
We gotta make sure you got proper training first
Two weeks away from your parents
You gotta bring
Alright okay
Alright alright
Alright 21 Pilots Burrito
I'm moving on
We're done here
21 Pilots Burrito features Chicken, moving on. We're done here. 21 pallets
burrito features chicken,
white rice, fresh tomato salsa,
roasted chili corn salsa,
cheese, romaine lettuce,
and queso blanco in a warm flour
tortilla. There you go.
So now you know.
So next week, or
today, when this episode's out,
there's the ingredients.
What the fuck was that?
Well, that was him laughing because Jordan was like,
next week and then realized that if you're listening to this,
it's already next week.
It's now.
And I kind of giggled, Nick loved it.
Jesus.
Sometimes I feel like Nick's just waiting for someone else to laugh so that he could bust out. That's all that was.
Nick's waiting for someone else to laugh so that he could bust out.
He's excited.
Give him an inch and he'll take it.
Listen, he's trapped at home.
This is his only reprieve.
He's let out for two hours once every two weeks.
He can eat a burrito in a parking lot until he has to go back home.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's see the explanation here from the press material.
You got it.
As part of the partnership,
Chipotle is celebrating the band's upcoming album,
Scaled and Icy.
That's a horrible name.
And their one night only global live stream event on May 21st, 2021.
Wow, that was three days ago.
Hey!
The show will be during catalog.
Pull attention.
That's our day.
I'm going to cut in.
That's Ghost Kitchen Day.
Fuck you!
Yep.
That's why we're waiting until
it's already done to advertise it.
Exactly. The thing already
happened.
They can't steal our viewers now.
The show will feature a catalog
spanning set list, dynamic performances
and live debut of
new material from the new album.
Wow, they really cared enough about that.
We won't give specifics, and we won't ham it up too much.
It'll be new.
New stuff.
If you're waiting for new stuff from 21 Pilots,
this event three days ago was the thing for you.
You going to read it?
You read it.
Well, I read it. It says... Why do you need to read it? You read it. Well, I read it.
It says... Why do you need to read it? There's nothing to worry about.
It says, getting the
food. Uh-huh. I use the app because
I want them to skate the food to me in the
rain. Uh-huh.
Yeah. That's what I want Chipotle to
do. Did they do it?
No.
You had
to go there and you go, one it out to me two make it rain
i don't know what's more doable i want one of them you either start summoning something
or go buy some rollerblades but i want something something to happen. Oh, man. The reason it's last week's is because nothing happened.
It was a very uneventful getting the food.
Bullshit.
I mean, it was fine.
I ordered it, and it was easy, and then I waited 25 fucking minutes.
You were so late.
25 minutes.
I ordered it, and then they just kept not giving it to me.
Let me tell you a little tale we talked about before we started here that you missed out because you were fucking around.
I don't know what you were doing.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
But I got here first, which never happens, right?
Right.
I'll be honest.
I was a little scared, a little confused because I pulled up and I was like, where is everybody?
So I didn't see anybody.
And so I kind of just drove up a little. I was like, where is everybody? So I didn't see anybody. And so I kind of just drove up a little.
I was like, no, okay, whatever.
And I just stopped and I went, I get, my doorbell went off.
And I was like, guess I'm the first one here.
And I just sat there.
And then like a minute later, probably less, Jordan pulls up and I'm like, hey.
And so he
much like this
he parks in front of me
and I was blasting
some 21 pilots
trying to turn back time
maybe get you here on time
didn't work
and we got out
we both commiserated
about how you were late
and then
fucking big dog Nick
shows up
in his big dog car
yeah he's a big dog car.
Yeah, he's a big dog car.
Fucking barreling through.
It was like, vroom, vroom.
He pulls up, right?
And Jordan's like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
And so he left.
Nick gets out of the car.
I get out of the car.
And Nick looks down and he goes, this isn't a parking space.
And I go, what?
And I look and I was parked on the end and jordan's just parked in the middle of where you drive through the parking lot what the fuck
and now nick's parked next to him because nick just pulled up and we were like oh how that
happened and so while jordan's gone i go well I guess we should just move. So, like, I just back my car up in reverse.
Nick moves his car, and now Jordan's car is right in the middle of the lot.
Imagine walking away from everyone's cars being parked in a very normal way.
And then you come back from the bathroom, and suddenly your car is further away from everyone else's.
And for some reason in the middle of the road.
Yeah.
He comes back.
So my first instinct is to go, did my car move itself?
Yeah.
He goes, did my car move?
And I just, I honestly couldn't tell you if he was serious or not.
And I went, yeah, I just started rolling backwards.
And Nick's like, yeah, was it not supposed to do that?
And Jordan's just standing there looking at it going, what happened?
And I went, hey, call Elon.
Let him know.
They're sacking up again, man.
Can't be happening then.
I actually went.
I sat in my car.
I put a picture in the Discord.
Look at the general. Look at the discord look at it look at it
I went back
I sat in my car
and it has
it has
it has the feet
of like all the cameras
around it
it didn't look like that
when we were all there together
we both moved our cars
and went
man he looks like an idiot now
yeah
yeah I said it's like that thing when you park and like somebody's like together. We both moved our cars and went, man, he looks like an idiot now. Yeah.
Yeah, I said it's like that thing when you park and somebody's a little
too close to the line, so you gotta park a little
further away
from them and you're crowding the next line
and then that person leaves and you look like
the asshole.
It was that, but with a parking spot
that didn't exist. It was kind of like that, but
you were the first person that parked there,
and you just parked it wrong.
Right.
No one did anything to you.
You just did that.
Here's where it comes back to Eric,
because what we decided was Michael showing up first,
he didn't know what to do.
He just kept going, and he stopped.
And then we just filled in like we usually do.
And, you know, if you had been here, you probably would have parked in the right spot.
All of that, it all came back to if you had been here on time,
everything would have fit together like a puzzle.
All of that.
Anyway, let's review the food.
Just with a soundtrack of 21 pilots playing on top of it.
Yeah, that's this episode in a nutshell.
Hey, did my car move?
Honestly, it seemed like the most reasonable explanation.
I also like the idea of the question of not just moved, an entire parking space.
You know what I mean?
Like, did my car back up one length like
one car length but then i went i went and looked at like the camera feed on the on the car just to
make sure it didn't do that and i was like oh yeah i saw you guys backing up i go oh this makes much
more sense i'm okay yeah that was the that was the best part of it he said he was kind of like
what happened and we and we went, we don't know, man.
And then just didn't say anything.
And that was the end of the conversation.
And he just pulled up his video camera to find out what had actually happened.
I had to know.
Oh, my car didn't move.
You guys move.
Now I got it.
Now there's a clear picture.
Oh, man.
And that's Chipotle.
There it is.
Only 51 minutes in.
Yep.
We've gotten to the end.
And now it's time for snack attack.
I mean, review the food.
Oh, we review it.
We snack.
We got to load the ads.
This is going to be probably a 40-minute episode, I say.
Yeah, it'll be right around 40.
Once we cut everything down, yeah.
I wish the press material had explained, like,
just, like, how the 21 Pilots guys, like,
chose their ingredients for their special burrito.
It's also, like, here's what I don't like about it.
There's two of them.
Are you telling me they both like the exact same thing?
Right.
Unlikely.
Did they even eat it at this point is my question.
They couldn't even give like, this is what this one likes
and this is what this one likes.
They just went, nah.
We know both of their names being in the skeleton clip.
We just don't have time to see it.
Yeah, I'm not trying to alienate the audience who doesn't know them.
Blurry face.
Skeleton hands.
Blurry face.
Who cares what you think?
But, yeah, I mean, Chipotle in general is fine fast casual food,
and this was nothing crazy. Oh, man. Sole in general is fine. It's fine, fast, casual food.
And this was nothing crazy.
Oh, man.
Their queso blanco is pretty good.
It was a little cold because it's been sitting there for a little bit.
Because he took forever.
Here's what I want to say.
You called this and I had to agree.
There was definitely cilantro in there.
And that's not on this list. It just says white rice, doesn't it? The white rice
just says white rice, but I guess it's
their white rice, which is the cilantro
lime rice. Yeah, it's implied
that, you know, if you're a connoisseur
or a devotee of Chipotle
or 20 Pilots in general,
you know what kind of white rice
they're working on. Fuck. I have to question
everything now.
On the burrito, it had the ingredients listed, They're working. Fuck. I have to question everything now.
On the burrito, it had the ingredients listed, and it said mild tomato.
No mention of mild tomato on here, which was a funny way to describe a tomato to me.
Oh, no.
So do we even know what we ate?
I'm so lost. It was a burrito.
We have inconsistencies with cilantro, with mild tomatoes.
We ate a chicken burrito.
I like...
He went to Chipotle and we got a chicken burrito.
Hey!
Yeah?
Hey, show some respect!
21 Pilots tricked us into eating a regular ass burrito from Chipotle.
Exactly.
We could have had Wendy's!
That's this episode. It's like hanging out with Bruce. It's like Jesus Christ, man. We could have worked us into eating a regular ass burrito from Chipotle. Exactly. We could have had Wendy's. That's this episode.
It's like hanging out with Bruce.
It's like Jesus Christ, man.
We could have eaten Wendy's.
Yeah.
It's true.
Maybe next time.
But that Wendy's food will be here next week.
This won't be.
We're both strong.
There's a review somewhere in here, but the score is 89.
Good luck finding it.
What?
What the fuck? You gave this an 89?
What the fuck?
Do you not think it was good?
I'm sorry, what?
It's a Chipotle burrito.
Is this for fucking real?
Did you really just give this an 89?
What the fuck?
Did you not think it was good?
I thought it was good.
I mean, there's good and there's 89.
89?
Chipotle is high tier food already.
Did he rate this higher than the pretzel pub chicken sandwich?
Guaranteed. You're damn right I did. That thing sucks.
What the fuck?
This thing's food at least.
He didn't get the spicy, so he's
still salty about it.
I didn't get a frosty either.
No, I got you frosty, Chino.
Yeah, if you got me a frosty,
maybe that thing's pushing 98.
You're welcome, I got you more.
You're welcome.
I think I might hit a Frosty Chino on the way home.
We said Frosty Chino, and I went, damn.
Nobody orders those on purpose.
This also reminds me, like, we could have had the Wendy's bacon bourbon.
What is it?
Bourbon bacon cheeseburger or whatever. Bourbon bacon cheeseburger or whatever.
Bourbon bacon cheeseburger
and I was really excited. I've had it three or four times.
What the fuck?
Well, it was before
you put it on the table.
I can't. Yeah, until you
mention it, he's allowed to eat it.
You know how many times I go there
and get the spicy fucking
pub sandwich?
Tantalizing me with a new sandwich.
You think I'm not going to order it?
I had it regular.
I've got it with the pretzel bun.
I've had options.
It's definitely better with the pretzel bun.
It's always better with the pretzel bun.
Tune in in two weeks when we eat it again.
I'll pretend like I haven't had it.
Don't worry.
We filmed these out of order.
Yeah, we did that one in July that already happened
um
89 incredible
so yeah it was good
um
surprisingly
like
there was a lot of stuff in it
but it's all pretty tame stuff.
There's nothing really in there that is like, whoa.
You know, rice, salsa, corn, cheese, lettuce, yucky.
But what can you get from Chipotle that has that wow factor?
I don't know.
I don't go there.
I don't know, but I guess my point
is more like
when you order something
that has 12 ingredients,
you're usually like
risking something
that's like,
I don't like that.
Or like,
I'm not risking E. coli
by eating a chipotle.
That's true.
Just by going.
Yeah, but,
but,
but not death.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
You know what I mean?
Eating a Jack in the Box is just living a little closer to the edge.
That's like saying, hey, I got COVID,
and someone going, oh, my God, are you okay?
And you go, well, I had the vaccine three months ago.
And you just go, okay.
So you weren't going to die.
Yeah, you weren't really in danger.
Yeah, you weren't really in danger.
Like, that sucks, but don't.'t okay i see what you've done you tried to get attention and it wasn't warranted and that's
why chipotle did it that's why they poison all those people that's what it is they wanted to
get attention but they weren't bold enough to cross the line right jack and jack in the box
jack in the box wanted bodies and kids yep they. They got bodies to fucking back up their claim.
You know what I mean?
Yep.
They're edgy.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
They're edgy, bro.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
They're going to be doing a...
Jack in the Box will be doing a musical promotion with Metallica or...
Drowning Pool.
Nine Inch Nails.
Yeah.
Ooh. Nin. Nine inch nails. Yeah. Ooh.
Nin.
Doja Cat.
But the second ends backwards.
Nice.
Anyway, I didn't like the cilantro.
Other than that, it was good.
It was fat, but it wasn't as big as I thought it would be.
It was like a rock.
It was shaped like a rock.
Square shaped. but it wasn't as big as I thought it would be. It was like a rock. The burritos got smaller. It was shaped like a rock. Square-shaped.
76.
It was good.
82.5.
I wasn't screaming, but I enjoyed it.
It was good.
If I end up getting food poisoning, mine's
going down to an 88.
Oh no. What kind of
window do you have? Like 24
hours? We'll know
by next episode. We'll see.
Okay. 82.5 for this
burrito. I just feel like
this is not a bad idea, actually.
I like this. I feel like we should institute
some sort of post-recording window
where we can re-evaluate.
You process the food.
I think we've already talked about doing that and decided not to do it.
No, no, no.
In the early days, yeah.
Just based on sickness.
Oh, so if you get sick.
You can't come back a day later and say,
I thought about it, I don't like it.
You can come back a day later and say, I fucking about it, I don't like it. You can come back a day later and say,
I fucking threw up
for six hours last night
after I ate this food.
We should put a warning label on it.
What about?
I'm just saying,
we should have some sort
of warning label.
What about like tummy licks?
And Jordan says,
I'm hitting them with the penalty,
red card, minus five.
Just food for thought.
You know what I mean?
This is the meeting
because we have meetings and I never show up to them.
I'm not showing up to the one later today.
You asked me about the one earlier and then went, oh, never mind.
It's canceled.
I didn't have to go.
That I was going to show up to with nine minutes left.
Yep.
Is it too late?
It's been canceled.
I'm free.
I'm here.
I'm here.
It's been canceled for two days.
But what is the threshold on that?
Is a stomach ache like you ate a bad apple?
No.
This is why we can't have this rule because of these questions.
He's a stickler.
Maybe I shit my brains out.
I shit my pants.
That should be a qualifier.
Hey, we ate that food and I shit my pants.
A two shit minimum.
a qualifier. Hey, we ate that food and I shit my pants.
A two shit minimum. I think
throwing up or shitting yourself
should warrant some sort of discussion.
That's all I'm saying. Okay. That's all I'm saying.
We can keep that in mind. Eric's already done
with it because he's taking his headphones out.
I'm fine with that.
The less he's in this, the better. I'll be honest,
I hope he doesn't put them back on.
Hey, what's up, buddy?
One of these days we should just trick him and do this episode without him.
Yeah, that's fine.
Ooh.
Thanks a lot.
We can see.
Hey, peace be with you.
Oh, no, thank you, sir.
He gave us candy and a little card.
Oh, it's a lot of writing in here.
Defeatsies.
Frailing clusters.
How old are these?
Are these from like...
Well, there's a note.
Well, okay, here we go. We've been given some candy
and a note. It is
Christmas themed.
Interesting to note
right off the bat.
Well, go ahead. I was going to say, Interesting to note right off the bat. Okay, never mind.
Go ahead.
Interesting to note right off the bat, this is
a Reese's,
but on the package
it says Reese. There's no
apostrophe S on it.
Whoa!
You're right.
The more I look
at it, the more weird it looks.
I can't tell if it's off-brand or not.
Maybe this card will reveal its secrets.
All right.
Let's look.
Hi, Face Jam.
I'm sorry the Subway coupons I sent expired.
In my defense, it was all Eric's fault.
Please enjoy these Reese Cluster things.
They're my favorite Christmas delicacy,
and hopefully Eric gives them to you
before Christmas. Thank you
for your service. Not how
you should use that phrase, Megan.
No, I kind of liked it.
I kind of liked it.
I think I should be the first
to board an airplane.
Me first.
Hey, I co-host Face Jam.
Back of the line.
Back of the line, you and your silly outfit.
Jordan said.
So, I mean, it made it
before Christmas 2021.
You're welcome.
Was that what you were shooting for?
Probably not.
We almost made it back around to Christmas being coming up.
Listen, we have a lot of snacks.
You guys think?
Eat your fucking praline.
Bro, you love
that one. He really did.
You love that.
He's losing it. He's fucked up. He's a
No! Stop using your windshield wipers.
There go the wipers. It's a bullshit.
Okay, I'm gonna ask you something.
How is this different?
I guess there's more like, there's like caramel or
something? Yeah. Yeah, there's some
other stuff in there.
It's very similar to just a Reese's.
It's very sweet. It's got some, it's a little sweeter and it's very similar to just a Reese's. It's very sweet.
It's got some... It's very sweet.
It's a little sweeter and it's got like a little...
It's got that praline
crunch. I don't know what praline is.
I was expecting it to be crunchier.
Me too. Yeah. I thought it was gonna have
like a take five or something.
I think there were three clusters
and they were about microscopically
sized. Also, I didn't get to crunch any of them.
They just kind of-
Disappeared?
Yeah, they got swallowed.
It's very good.
It's very good.
It's good.
It's a Reese's.
Or it's a Reese.
I'm not sure which one it is.
I said, it's a Reese.
It's a singular, non-possessive.
I mean, that's caramel, right?
That was loaded with-
I think so, yeah.
That's not normal to a Reese's.
Nope.
Right?
But it's normal to a Reese's, maybe.
Yeah.
I liked it.
I definitely could not eat a lot of those.
I wish it was crunchier.
I wish there were more clusters.
Just because I feel like that was promised.
Right.
But that was a tasty little snack.
I could see that.
Yeah, I was expecting like a turtle or something, you know?
Yeah, right.
Turtles are good.
Dude, I feel like there's some sort of commission where you can't just go making chocolate in
a turtle's because there's a certain level of expectation when you're eating a turtle.
If it's turtle shaped, it better be
fucking good.
And for the most part,
I think it is.
Right?
People make willy-nilly shapes all over.
Watch out. Here comes another
grack attack.
Watch yourself, counselor.
Leading!
It was good. I liked it. I'm gonna slam
it with a
92.
Jordan? Interesting. I was
gonna give it an 89, but everything you were
saying, I agreed with, so I was just
gonna go with your score, so I'm gonna go with a 92.
Whoa!
There you go. Makes it easy.
Nice average score, 92.
Megan, very good snack.
Good snack, much appreciated.
Oh, yes.
Excellent handwriting, too. Very small print.
They got so
much in such a tiny card.
Wow, that is a tiny card.
Merry Christmas 2021.
Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you don't have to because we have a lot right now.
But don't worry about that.
You can send us snacks at Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.
You can follow us at Face Jam Pod on Twitter and Instagram.
Stay up to date with everything we got going on.
By the time this comes out, FaceJam Ghost Kitchen will have already gone live.
Ah!
Boo!
Whoa.
Were you scared?
Yeah.
Terrified.
How do you guys think it went?
I think we scared everyone.
Killer.
That's what I like to hear. So if you want to check it out, it'll actually be everyone. Killer. That's what I like to hear.
So if you want to check it out,
you'll actually be up.
One of us are dead.
Damn.
Wow.
Well, people said we couldn't take the record
from Jack in the Box,
but we proved them wrong.
Five isn't a lot.
Ghost Kitchen will be out today.
Later today on Rooster Teeth.
So go to roosterteeth.com or use the Rooster Teeth app.
You'll be able to check out Face Jam Ghost Kitchen.
But I think it's for first members only.
So you got to be a first member to check it out.
If for the VOD.
It's worth it.
Yeah.
Let me know what you think by tweeting at face jam pod
um if you like the stuff that we were wearing and and the uh the cool new merchandise that we have
for face jam you can get that at store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs the ghost
kitchen stuff is awesome i like the it's very cool haunted chicken sandwich hoodie is probably my favorite
but i've been wearing that shit for like a month yeah you said to me hey they want us to wear the
new shirts on friday and i thought what new shirts and then i realized i was wearing one of the
shirts you were talking about they weren't had them for so long yeah i've worn all of them several
times we like you can see these items
that Michael has been wearing
in a bunch of different videos.
So check them out.
They're all really cool.
We have an awesome design team
that we've been working, like,
really closely with
that have great ideas
for what just came out for Ghost Kitchen,
for what's coming out in June,
and then what's coming out July in RTX.
That stuff is gonna be fucking bomb.
We're also asking about
the compliments crackle hat that I
was wearing. Yes. Oh, you snuck in.
You snuck it in. Yeah.
That will be coming up soon.
Yes. It won't
be this month.
Hang on. Yes, it won't be this
month, but stay
tuned to follow
at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter yes it won't be this month but stay tuned follow at face jam pod
on Instagram and on Twitter
for all the information that you need to stay up to date
with your favorite show and our heroes
and what they're doing
there you go that's the show
you know what my favorite part about ghost kitchen was
what
Nick kept saying go for six
go for six go for six, go for six, go for
six.
Go for six?
Well, we had five dead kids.
Yeah, we only had five. Oh, I got
it. Okay. Wow. That's fucked up.
I can't believe he would say that.
I must not have heard it. With the blood loss.
Tell a friend about
the show.
Where we eat the food
And rate that food
No dead kids
Goodbye