100% Eat - Cook Sucker & Coffee Cheese Sludge %% Food Court

Episode Date: February 22, 2025

From their livestream on 2/17/25, Our Honorable Hero Judges are back to rule on YOUR food crimes. Hear court cases about cookie sucking, saltine mayo, coffee cheese, plus MORE! If you want to be a part of these livestreams, become a Bug at least over on our Patreon and send in your priority Food Court submission. Part 2 will be out next Saturday. Our next livestream will be Tuesday March 4th @ 4pm CT where we watch the Taco Bell Live Mas Livestream YOU! Join the discord! Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TD Direct Investing offers live support. So whether you're a newbie or a seasoned pro, you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands for Total Fund Savings Adventure, maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. All right. One, two, three. Court is in session. The 100% Eat Food Court has begun.

Whoa! Dude, this sucks. That's awesome. This is ridiculous. If you are watching this live, thank you for joining us on TikTok. If you are watching this later and you are seeing the chat,

realize the chat is being very mean to me and I didn't do anything to deserve it. Come on. I think they're being very funny to you. Nick is eating the two week old Oreo. Yeah, that episode came out a week ago for the audience. No!

But for us, it's been about 12 days. Is that the food he meant or is there other food? There's no other food. I don't know what he was talking about. That's why I'm asking. Yeah. Was he talking about that food? I think he was talking about that food. Why would he know?

What are you talking about? What are you gonna eat? Was I not here to tell you that he wants food? Because I would have eaten food. Like I would have not eaten if I thought we were gonna get food. And there's no problem with him going, feed me, feed me. I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting food like I would have not eaten if I thought we're gonna get food I and there's no problem with him going feed me feed me. I wasn't expecting I wasn't expecting I wasn't expecting it And I ate as well. I'm also not saying no. I'm questioning why he waited till he started to start saying it It's true cuz he'd never he wouldn't have been happy about it anyway, but he would have done something now. It's too late

That's very true. He did not bring it up until we started. That's what I'm confused about I mean, I don't think anyone could be confused. How could you let this happen? It's him. Usually he starts, this is what he does. Remember when he said, remember when he said he didn't say anything about the cherry poppers? And we said, bullshit, we just said it for you. Right, right, right, right. This is what happens when we're not here to say for him.

He waits too long and then he freaks out. Yep. Laugh, funny man. Well, we have sent our subpoenas and we are expecting a very full docket today of what we will be ruling on. Our judges, Jordan and Michael will be rolling on. You flubbed through it and I let it slide.

I know. When you did it again. I looked at Jordan. I mean, I couldn't get it the second time. what we are reeling on yeah, and then we will roll Then we're gonna roll you and take all your time saying It is check the shoes check socks we have the beach Do they go to the beach to get all that time saying I you hate it Oh, well they always put the little showers to rinse the time sand off too far away from your car.

I never heard of it. More time take all the time sand. Well, let's bring in our first subpoena. This is one that I'm very interested in. I hope you're interested in all of them. I'm very interested in all of them. This one, I think- This one got me, I was kind of a dog.

This one- They don't have 40 million to choose from. This one stands out as something very strange. And this could potentially be the last of this docket of food court submissions. Going all the way back to May. Yeah, so we will have to put out new submissions. And if you go to patreon.com slash 100% eat sign up,

you can get right to the top of that list. Just like Jay McPherson, Jay McPherson, are you here? Raise that little hand of yours. Let's bring him in. This is the old list. Yeah. Jay. I see the connective tissue you were trying to do there.

Jay McPherson. Who's Stephen Flo? What did you do? Well, I think that's a different person. Yeah, I know. He's clicking around. Stephen Flo. Where's Jay?

Oh, Jay, if you're not here, I'm gonna get you dude. We definitely have to If this is the one I think it is, I think we should read it. If that's the case, then if Jay gets here, we are putting a bench warrant out. We didn't put an APB on. That makes him look like a really bad guy. One guy I'm thinking about. No, I know exactly. It's weird how making someone's face smaller makes him look just like that guy. It really looks like that bad guy. We're gonna have to get the monkey bounty

hunter on this guy. This is Rainy. He's gonna find you and hover over you while you do things, trap you in corners, and scream for extra food. Well, Rainy J, if you show up, let us know. If not, I'm gonna read this, because this is freak mode. Okay.

I'm a cookie sucker, but my humble leech-like ways are rejected by society. Essentially, I like to dip cookies into milk, then suck the milk out of the cookie and repeat one or two times, basically until the cookie is falling apart or it's too smushed to absorb milk anymore. It's lightly sweetened and the flavor of the cookie can seep into the actual glass of milk the more you do it, making the milk an additional little treat once the cookies are gone.

I don't do this with all cookies because some just don't have the structure to withstand multiple suckings. I know why they didn't show up for this. And I also don't do it every time I have a cookie that can. Mintano's are my favorite to do this with I Have no idea when this started or why I started doing it It just tastes good and I like the feeling of sucking out the milk Stop hiding he's saying this I'm a freak when I do it in the privacy of my own home mind you is when I do it in the privacy of my own home, mind you. Is this so freakish that I'm not even allowed to do it in front of my immediate family?

Don't. Please help me, my kings. This is Jay McPherson. Jay, if you happen to show up and you want to show your fucking face for this, you psychopath, let us know. But guys, the cookie sucker wants a ruling on what he does. My favorite part of his message But guys the cookie sucker wants a ruling on what he does my

favorite part of his message is that he Add some other things like look at all these other benefits of me sucking the cookie right? Uh-huh it It makes the milk taste good. It makes the Good day. No, you're going with this this guy just like sucking cookies if he wanted the milk to taste like the cookie He would just put the cookie in the mouth right? Yeah He talking a lot about benefits the milk receives that that just happens when you put a cookie Yeah, that happens with that don't have to suck a cookie. He's drowning. You're totally right the cookie Yeah, and then going oh, it's wet enough time to suck

I mean, I gotta be honest look at me in the eye while I suck I gotta be honest first of all someone in the chat sum this up two sentences in To that they just wrote degenerate I Don't know for sure how this act looks cuz I haven't seen it. Uh-huh, but a lot of this That's a straw if you use the pure wet But a lot of this... Somebody's putting... That's a straw. If you use the pure wit, that's just a straw.

I feel like a lot of this, and the should I do it in front of the family, is really heavy on how you're describing it. Stop saying cookie sucky, sucking cookie, sucky, sucky, sucky, stop saying that. Right? Just like... How hard is he sucking his cookie? Right. Because even if you sucked on it in front of someone, they, I feel like you could do it without anyone knowing. Yeah. You just like put it in your mouth and give them- You could do a subtle suck.

You do a little subtle suck or you go, Are you going, Yeah. Are you going, Mm mm mm. Guys, here comes another suck. You can do everyone gather round. You could be doing like a,

like you could be sucking cookies on the down low, bro. Right. I could be doing it right now. You guys, when they say am I allowed to do this in in front of Family or do I have to be shamed to do it in privacy? I feel like it's because how you're describing it in the way you're going about it Yeah, yeah, you're really just dunking a cookie and milk and eating it get a little suck I suck I suck a little bit sometimes and shit. I'm chewing on I get it's like

Like you can chew gum every fresh piece of gum you suck in it We're chewing it cuz that's where all the juices get some juice, but I don't go I'm sucking gum now Hey, ma I'm gonna suck another piece off My friends think it's so weird. I just like sucking gum also a horribly inefficient way to drink milk right now I could be wrong, and it could be a very Like elaborate suck going on but the information we have and without them defending themselves Do you it seems all you know it seems very you know it also is really upsetting about his description

What's that Eric read it and how he kind of started making it sensual for some reason? I was reading it the way they wrote it He's reading it like it was a Sarah J. Mast book It was the It was it was the fact that he keeps doing it until it's mushy Yeah, and it can't hold what like the milk anymore like he says that the only thing stopping him is when it's the structural integrity stopping him is when it loses the structural integrity. Eric was imagining his cookie gums. Oh no!

Uh, it like, the only reason he goes, that's enough for this one, is because he physically can't suck it anymore. Like the cookie's gone. Yeah. It's like a vampire discarding a human body drained of blood. Ugh! The husk! Yeah! The cookie just collapses.

He's not... It's just a pile of dried out Oreos in the corner. He doesn't describe ever eating the cookie. No! The husk yeah He's not the pilot Eating the cookie you know it's it's constantly being reused to drink the milk He's and then goes back until there's nothing he's cookie sucking, but he's this is just the way he drinks milk You know what I like a nice juicy steak. I don't suck steak. Do you don't hang on very juicy now? I don't know Mmm. I'm like absorbing the juice as I chew it and I eat it, but what is have you tried? So I feel like I am sucking it just maybe not to this level

I also don't get a bucket and spit it back What if you get a little piece of steak and you put in your mouth and you go? And then you take it out and then you put it back on your plate to reabsorb whatever sort of like steak juices on the plate okay he's gasping he you just taught him something yeah yeah there's good we're not doing the regular podcast right now stop right now oh god we're not sucking steaks for the a podcast there's gonna be a new like your microphones off he needs a steak Jordan go home he needs a suck a steak do you have any Jordan go go steak This is the power of the dark empath I'll suck a steak. There's gonna be a new high-end restaurant that offers like one cut of steak

Oh, and it's like what am I supposed to do with this? Oh, sir. You don't eat it. This is a vessel for you This is your sucking steak. This is the SS suck ship. So the thing that Jay is writing to us about is he's sucking the cookie, he has leech like behavior as he self described, and he says, is it so freakish that I'm not even allowed to do it in front of my immediate family Like where does the circle? I think the line the line that he's crossing is that he's doing it like Michael said too overtly and

He's just go for little socks. He's calling attention to himself Yeah, he should next time he is in that setting and as to everyone guys. I'm reformed I'm not gonna do it anymore, and then he's gonna do it subtly and no one's gonna notice I feel like unless unless that's what he wants he wants the attention he wants to be labeled labeled as the cookie sucker of the family as hey we've all got one and if you don't know the cookie sucker in your family. I got bad news. Oh Yep, it's fine. If you can't find the cookie sucker in your family. It's Nick No Yeah, I feel like I feel like if you just kept it cool people just think you're eating cookies and yeah

Yeah, is it is it gross, but it's pretty gross. Maybe there's something over the top about it I'm sure I feel like I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt I'm I'm kind of trying to do that too, but the fact the way he's described it. It's almost gross. Maybe there's something over the top about it. I feel like I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. I'm kind of trying to do that too. But the fact, the way he's described it, it's almost like he wants, he wants the shame of it. He wants the shame. Do you think so? He's like cookie sucking and the shame gets him off.

Yeah, he's like, I don't know what sub genre of kink it is, but it's not good, whatever it is. It's not even like four chance stuff. It's like weird eight chance stuff. Like it goes deeper and grosser. I might be 16. Yeah, whatever it is. It's not even like four chance stuff. It's like weird eight chance stuff. Like it goes deeper and grosser. 16 chance. Yeah, uh-oh. So what's the ruling officially?

Like, what do you think? Is he allowed to do this around other people? It's like, what's- Let me lay something out there and I'll see if you agree. He may suck cook. But, how did it take us this long to get to that? How did we not? The time was right. Wow. He may suck cook, but how did it take us this long to get to that? How did we?

How did we? The time was right. Yeah, wow. But the time was right. He has to do it in a way that doesn't call attention to himself and make him the center of attention because then it's just, that's loud and gross and annoying and it's probably what he wants. Maybe like when people aren't paying attention he sucks cook under the table.

He's sucking cook on the DL. He may continue to suck cook in private as loudly as he wants, but amongst other people he must do it subtly, quietly. Do not draw attention to him. Now listen, four white guys making this joke, baby this is a podcast. This is a stream. This is a stream. This is special stuff. Watch out, we're going to label you a cook sucker too.

Watch out. I've seen just some pretty strange things with cookies when we weren't looking. This is some Michael Jordan special stuff. It really is. It really is. Ah, this is a good one. What do you think of that, Michael? Yeah. Okay in private, subtle, and amongst people. Yeah, you know, like, because if you are, you know, getting off to this, which we know you are.

You are. We know you are. We heard how Eric read it. You might, you might balk at like the like, oh, but I don't want to rain it in public, but then it becomes like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a don't want to rain it in public, but then it becomes like a voyeur thing. Like I'm getting off in public and they don't know. Like a little bit, like it's the, you might get caught, but then when they're not around you can yell and scream.

Like you would, you know, kind of throw your hope away. While you're having your good. Cookies suck. Yeah. While you're sucking cookies. That's what I think. Yeah, and that sounds good. Also, mint Milanos, that sounds gross. Why is that the one that he's hot at?

Dude, that's awesome. How did someone already right out of the gate, though, just blasphemize cookie and milk, is the other thing there. From all the weird shit people have said in. All right, guys, sit down for this one. I dunk a cookie in milk. But also...

I'm sucking that thing dry. It starts dry. It makes it wet, then sucks it dry again. But that's not the end. He rewets it, and sucks it even drier. You can't re-wet it. You can suck the milk out of it, but it's in your fucking mouth. It's not getting dry.

I mean, he's dipping it back into how many sucks Do you think it takes to get to the center of the sucky pop? To get to the center of it all it cannot be more than three and I bet if he were here He would have a record for the most times that ever happened and then also he would say it's not that bad It's not that bad. Yes absolutely So maybe we didn't need him here. Yeah, I mean we just like we we knew how it would go It's probably good that we didn't have him here. Honestly because that's I I think he would have he probably would have just left Okay, take that cook out of your mouth before you speak to the judges walk down to his job and slept the cook out of his mouth

I'm stuck cook while you're working don't come here and do it to me All right, are we done with that one? Yeah cook sucker All right, are we done with that one? Yeah, fucking cook sucker. Is that the title of this one? Jesus. We're 16 minutes in. I don't know that we can get away with that without context. Yeah, that's true.

Oh man, we gotta watch it. I don't think we can get away with it with context. Yeah, I was gonna say, I just don't know if it's helping. Do we have Spear Sigma? Jeremy B. Jeremy B. Jeremy, there he is. Invite to speak.

Oh, baby. Jeremy, come in Jeremy. Jeremy, how are you? Oh, good. How are you all? We're doing great. We've had one successful ruling. Yeah, what do you think about sucking cook?

Yeah, how do you feel about the the cook sucking? I mean, I've done it before but you do it once. Mmm, right Oh, I see oh Okay, I see what you're saying. $20 is $20, man. You don't get twice. No, no, I hear that. You can't unsuck that cookie. Yeah, I don't... We're going backwards.

We are going backwards. I assume you have a whole sleeve of them, but this is Jeremy's time now. Jeremy, Jeremy, you sent us in a very interesting, I guess, food crime. Would you like to read about the mayo on saltines, et cetera, or would you like me to read it for you? I was gonna ask, do you want me to go one at a time or do you want me to drop them all?

Let me hit you with this here. Let me give you this one. I'm starting from where you sent a triple threat. I can go into much greater detail at request, but the short of it is my wife likes to put mayo on saltines. She and most Puerto Ricans she claims enjoy letting a slice of cheese soften in coffee slash cocoa

and her cousins prefer lunch is a Costco sliced ham on whatever bread. You can get smeared in peanut butter. So let's start calling it the family affair at first. Yeah. Um, may now Mayo on saltines. Jeremy's that's something you indulge in. So, so no, this is, this is, is this is my wife Oh cousin all lived with us for a while, and I do have my wife here to defend her. Oh my god Okay, so Mayo on saltines. What is it about Mayo and saltines that are?

What is that why Hi hi Hi. Hello. Hi. We're a podcast. Welcome. We're sorry. It's it's delicious. I don't see what the the shocking thing is here. The mayo on saltines. You don't see what is curious about that at all.

I'll say this. OK? I'll say this. No. Okay. I'll say this to your credit. It's the least offensive of the three. It is. And it's why I wanted to start with it because I think that mayo on saltines,

while not something I would have, is... There's always the want for something on a saltine. Right. And usually I do butter. Typically it's a cheese, I would say. See, that's why I related it to butter. I thought that made more sense. Right.

Have you tried that? Yes. Okay. There's no mayonnaise. Oh, right, right, right. There's no mayonnaise, but what is? Listen, it's no mayonnaise. I should, I want to say what she hasn't mentioned.

The first time I found out she had this, we'd already been together for years. Oh no, it's too late. A year, a year. She went into the kitchen and said, don't judge me. Oh my God. So she knew, so you knew.

So you knew. I knew he might question it. Okay. And so I had a long day at work. And you didn't need that right now. Yeah, exactly. I usually, it would be like my late night snacky. And I couldn't wait.

I'd wait until he's like in bed sleeping. Okay. Always a good sign of like... Under the cover of darkness. The flashlight under the blanket. Exactly. Exactly. But you know, it was a rough day,

working health care, and I couldn't wait. And so he just... OK. And so I immediately judged her. Yeah, no, no, absolutely. Absolutely. Michael, did you have something? Yeah. So a couple of things here. OK. I get the saltines, great little snacks. You put something on it, right?

A cheese, a butter. Mayo isn't the craziest. I don't like mayo. Maybe that makes it easier for me, though, because people put something on it, right? A cheese, a butter, a mayo, isn't it? The craziest. I don't like mayo. Maybe that makes it easier for me though, because people put mayo on everything, right? People put ranch on everything. I wouldn't eat it. It doesn't seem that crazy to me.

I think if I saw this in the wild without any preconceived notions, it wouldn't be that strange. But it is a little, it's questionable when you come in and say I don't think it's that weird but also I do it in secret at night when no one's around so those two things don't make sense together if it's just a regular normal thing but I hide it and this time I had a really bad day and I couldn't hide my

secret and that's how he found out it just seems your mom taught you it right yeah so for me it's perfectly normal like it's a snack my mom taught me it's like I want my grandma to have. Did she teach you to hide it from people though? Like no one can know you're special They're not like you and they'll never understand I just I was just hiding it because Jeremy had yet to experience it. Right yeah You don't want to just move in we've only been living together for like a couple months Yeah, right, you don't want to just drop that on him. You want to like work, like. Exactly. Work it up. Yeah, I get it.

Well, the other question. When I go home with my mom, you know. Oh, it's not. We're doing it in front of each other. Well, the other question I have though is, do you enjoy mayo a lot in other things or is this a very specific thing? Great question.

Oh, yeah. I would say a hundred% with like the tuna. That's normal. Like, okay, what do you have? Yeah, no, I just I'm trying to figure out if it's like, right, just this particular combination of flavor, or you're just like a male person in general. Okay. Yeah, is there a person general? Okay. So is it a certain kind of mayonnaise? Like you squeeze it on? Or is it like grab the knife? Are you dipping

the cracker? So I prefer like little squeeze bottle. Makes it easy. Yeah. You just kind of squeeze it on there. Grab the Hellman's and go nuts. Yeah. You know what?

Just squeeze it and go squeeze directly into the mouth and then bite the cracker, honestly. That made like my insides tight. Like that made me feel bad. I don't think it's that strange to be honest. Okay. Okay. But again, I don't like mayo. Right.

You put shit on crackers. Okay. It could be worse. So ruling on the first food thing, we're saying? You're not free from judgment. Especially when you try to hide it. I'm committed no crime, don't look. But you're free to continue to do it.

Okay. Just be aware, you can always be judged. That's right. When it's a little weird. As, go ahead and pound the gavel on this first one. And now we're gonna get to the next one, which is something that she claims most Puerto Ricans do, which is in letting a slice of cheese soften

in coffee or hot cocoa? I should say not like slice like a thin slice, but like a chunk. OK, that's what it's not like. It's not like a merit, like a slice of American. You're talking like a block of cheddar cheese. You're like, huh? Next, I grew up with is like we call it guess what they want. And it's just this like round.

It's like the cheese covering like the red wax. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a baby bell. Like a baby bell kind of thing. Okay. Is it still in the wax when you put it in? No. Okay, good.

Good, all right, we're figuring it out first. And now, do you prefer this in coffee or hot cocoa? I love coffee. Okay. I prefer coffee. But hot chocolate works too. You get that kind of sweet and savory thing going. So you're putting it in as like some sort of garnish for the coffee and you're drinking the coffee

with it in there. Yeah, you just drop it in there and then you just, you know, continue sipping your coffee. Let it get nice and melty and goopy. And then you drink your coffee or cocoa, whatever you choose. And then at the end, you have this melty delicious snack at the end. Now is it like fully formed at the end or is it kind of sludged at that point? No, it gets kind of sludge. It's getting melty.

But you're not going, you're not drinking the whole thing. That's all that's left and you're going in with a spoon or... I think that's exactly what she's saying. No you go with a spoon Yeah, you're eating cheese. So you're eating the sludge. You're eating cheese sludge with a spoon Yeah, and if I have saltine mayo next to me Oh my god No, no, no I undo my ruling This is what are you some people have some crazy crazy things in their nightstand drawer? But this I'm going for the mainland crackers. Did you also did you also hide this?

Hey, so we got picture. Yeah. Oh it is someone posted a picture of I was offered this when they were making coffee. Oh my god cheese in their coffee and he was scandalized and yeah, that's not something you offer cheese It's certainly more strange than the Mayo. So and but Annie in the chat Can you corroborate that this is the thing like other people? I see a bunch of people. It's like Caribbean It seems like it's a thing that people do. Oh, and he Googled it. What are you doing? What are you doing, monkey? What?

Michael Jordan podcast. He's, he, but just so you know, the, the monkey, this entire second conversation has been muttering and screaming. He's been how excited he is and he wants to try this. The whole time he's been hunched over sucking cook or something on the ground. Cause I don't know what he was doing. He is. He dropped an Oreo cook on the ground and He's been sucking it off. It's the footlong cook I I honestly think we might have to try them

Over put a drop of cheese a drop of cheese I am a big cheese fan. Uh-huh, and we we know cheese and chocolate pairs Well, I've never put it inside hot chocolate No, I would be more willing I mean I'll do both but I think I'll probably like that more than coffee definitely Yeah, this this rides the territory of I've never heard anyone that does that Yeah, but like I do know cheese and chocolate pairings and also very white so yeah other people Yeah, I foods differently. Mm-hmm

I don't want to you know just say like the way I brought up was brought up is the way that you know and The foods I eat are correct But I'll say that like a cheese coffee combo to me just I've tried the butter and coffee thing Yeah, that's about as much dairy as I'm yeah It also does go backwards a little bit where and then you immediately squeeze in like and maybe there's mayo and salt Yeah, okay Yeah, you crossing the lines. It's getting to be a lot and there's still more Yeah, and so the ruling on that we might have to try it. I'll try it. Okay, I'll try that

Jordan doesn't want to he can he can Jordan can watch us. I like it. I want to eat a bunch of baby bells I'm I'm all for sludge cheese. You have a microphone microphone and a camera you can talk into the mic mom for sludge cheese I just had it's different, but I just had two Lunchables Cheese pizza Lunchables right before I went to bed last night, and I had a bunch of cheese left over After I ate the little bread circles And I was scraping that cheese out. I was gobbling every little piece I could easily get a spoon and go nuts at the bottom of a cup.

Uh, so are you, so we get a baby bell cheese. We get a hot cup of black, I assume just black coffee. Is that what it is? We, I just prepare it high normally. How do you usually prepare it? A little bit of milk, sugar. She drinks coffee like a normal person. A little bit of milk and sugar and a little bit of a little bit of cheese. Yeah. And it can be Gouda cheese, it can be cheddar cheese, it can be any cheese of your choice. Just something that melts well. Okay. You know what? Craft American, you dropped that in. No, no, no.

I probably wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't do that. I would try drinking it, but once we get to the sludge at the bottom... Just give your sludge cheese to Nick. Now, does it does it give a fair amount of cheese flavor during the sipping? Or is it mostly just for the sludge at the end? You get some you get some flavor when you're sipping. OK, OK. But would you say the main attraction is sludge?

Sludge. OK, cool. Yeah, you know, that's what I'm a sludge guy. OK, so let's say the ruling is we gotta try it. Maybe I'll try it Okay, but we actually have to try yes, we will do it. Okay. Let's do it Okay, and then there's one more, but you went for three. I know okay, and here's the last one here to defend themselves good so Your cousin eats Costco sliced ham on any kind of bread with peanut butter? Yeah. So when we lived with him, he had like Costco hamburger buns was what he was using

much, but like that, like weird, really wet sliced ham just on the bun, slather, peanut butter on the other side. And that was his go-to thing. And I thought it was because he was a protein freak and worked out, but I did clarify with him before this that it's because he likes it. OK, I thought you were doing this for nutrition. No, man, not at all. It got even stranger because the ham and peanut butter was enough. And but Eric's was any kind of bread. And you went right to hamburger hamburger bun, which is.

Yeah, that was he would use anything, but that's what we had. And he's like, fuck it. Oh, hmm. I don't know and he's like, fuck it. I don't know if I can write pictures of saltines and mayonnaise on them. People at home are doing the saltine mayonnaise right now. I mean, if you like mayonnaise, you like crackers, I get it, I get it. I don't get-

It just makes me- It's delicious. I don't, look, I'm on your side here. Not many people are over here. I don't get ham and peanut butter. Saltine mayonnaise challenge. I tell get Ham and Pizzle team managed challenge. And I like ham and peanut butter separately. I don't think I would ever put them together on a hamburger bun. Hamburger bun and ham.

I just the really cheap ones. No seeds. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, that'd be too healthy. Yeah. That kid is out here. You're getting in the way of my ham and peanut butter combo. The flavor just seems so... I just can't see it. Yeah. This isn't also like a traditional Puerto Rican food, is it? Yeah. Yeah. You don't know anything about this, right? She's like, hell no. This is him being a freak. Don't put that on me. Yeah. Yeah. You don't endorse this.

That's right. Hey. Yeah. I can't, I can't. I never tried it myself. Yeah, I refused to. It was a trick. I didn't want to, it smelled weird. Was it really chunky? I don't remember. Oh, and he also, well, he preferred chunky.

No! Come on! That's that for some reason. Why are you clapping? Why are you clapping? That makes it so much worse for some reason it does It really does in my head the whole time. It's so smooth. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it was it a crunch shot shot your mouth No, we're not go back to forgetting you have a mic we're not

Yeah, I listened to that new Bad Bunny album. He didn't say anything about this on the whole thing. At all. That's not for the people. This is- He does mention the cheese queso de papa that we use in the coffee, by the way. Whoa, see?

Oh, dude, good enough for Bad Bunny. And it just, I'll be honest, it sounds so official too, the way she's saying it. It's true. It sounds that good. It can't be that crazy. I like, I like that. It sounds better than cheese sludge.

Don't say that. Yeah. Don't say that. How do you say sludge in Spanish? Like she's saying it like it's like this term, but it's just the words we're already using. But in Spanish, you're just like, well, that's what it's called.

It sounds better. Okay, what's your ruling on ham and peanut butter? No, no, that one is a big time no. And, um, I don't know, I don't know if an intervention is needed. It would have been easier if he still lived with you guys, but... Yeah, cause then you could kick him out. It also, I will say... Some actions have consequences to kick him out.

What I think you benefited from here too. He's stuck in Alaska. It's his own punishment. The judge is stuck in Alaska. I think you benefited here by having that in the mix and also going last because it really elevated the first two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like from the initial reaction being like, I don't know about these, and then being like,

okay, saltine and lemon, that was pretty okay. And then it was like, oh, I might try the coffee and cheese thing. And then this one like, oh I might try the coffee and cheese thing. And then this one, no way. Like you lost it. We were on the edge and then you really lost us with crunchy peanut butter. Yeah, crunchy peanut butter really like fucked the whole thing up. Bad style. Nick's in, which means obviously it's freak food. Yeah, which means you should go to jail.

Yeah, it means he'd love to try it but he'll'll never go get. We sent him to jail, aka. Sentence. Our fake. Thank you very much for making time for that. Yeah, absolutely. So you guys do not drive to Kyle often. Not being built there. Yeah. So the so there's going to be closer. Yeah. OK. Yeah.

I mean, there's going to be that Buc-E's there, but there's the biggest Buc-E's in the world. I still want to go to the biggest Buc-E's. It's gotta be the biggest. It's gotta be 5,000 square feet different than the biggest. That's pretty big. That's bigger than this office. Me and Jordan were talking about it the other day, and we were saying that like, it's really cool when people want to go to Buc-E's, but then you end up going to the small Buc-E's and you get mad. Small Buc-E's suck. Small Buc-E's are sad. If you're going somewhere and like the only Buc-Ees on your route is the small Buc-Ees,

it's not even worth stopping. Don't worth stopping. Just go to, just go to Quick Trip. I don't even remember. They're like, they're like regular bathrooms. Yeah, the small Buc-Ees. Sad. Look at the cutie on a wrench.

You don't, you don't like cutie. That doesn't count. Disgusting. Can you buy art at the small Buc-Ees? No. No, they don't even have like a home goods section. They just have snacks. Well, thank you very much for your time.

And, well, at least we don't have to send it like a bounty hunter for you. But yeah. And now I hope you since then and now continue to enjoy your saltines and mayonnaise in the light. Yeah. Enjoy. Bring it to the light.

I do. Bring it to the light. Excellent. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. Thank you, guys. Bye. You have to hang up on them, Nick. We it to the light. Excellent. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. Bye. Thank you guys. Bye.

You have to hang up on him, Nick. We have to say... We have to say... We have to say hang up. We have to say... Be gone. Be gone. Never mind that they left.

I think we gotta try cheese sludge coffee. That's good. That's fine. Don't make me try the sludge. You can watch us try it. You can film it. It can't be worse than pizza hut wine. I'm gonna rule on...

It cannot. It cannot. Literally cannot be worse than that wine up there. Can you read the next one? Can you read the? the one That we just want read like is it the one about the sibling the quote-unquote sibling Let's see discourse audience depression sibling real Hang on. Let me see was it I have a twin my my brother thinks preparing unsolved no not a real brother Okay, is it is it this one the unsalted scrambled eggs is that the one you're looking for no is it the one about the? milk and crackers No, what the fuck there was one in the read-only pile. That's where I'm looking right now

It was a really long one about drinking piss cup pissy piss cup there's a drink piss there's a brother Bailey is that the one that's the one I don't you looked up he nodded with a huge smile on his face okay he looked like he looked like a can trick talking to Drake this is the one this is sent in by better devil who is in the chat but we're gonna read this one brother Bailey's me yeah we don't really have any commentary. We just wanna read this. We just kinda wanna read this because it's, it seems insane and we couldn't believe it.

We were sitting in a coffee shop going, what? Yeah! Yeah! He's bumped. This is about an item in my mother's possession known as Brother Bailey. Once upon a time, my mother was trying to make homemade vanilla extract. The process of doing this is pretty simple.

One, get a big ass bottle of Absolute Vodka. Two, pour off the vodka so it's filled to the top of the tea in the Absolute logo. Three, add six or seven vanilla beans. Four, add Kahlua. The last step is not how you make vanilla extract or whatever she's trying to do. That adding Kahlua does not do that, just to be clear.

Okay, I don't know. Except this one time, when she was making the extract, she made an error. Instead of grabbing Kahlua, she grabbed Bailey's Irish cream. The instant she poured the Bailey's into the bottle, it started curdling. Completely and total, a complete and total waste of $60 of alcohol and vanilla beans. And then you just threw it out, right? It is now 25 years later. She

still has the bottle. Dubbed by my friends as brother Bailey, this bottle of Absolute Vodka contains a brown liquid with small chunks floating in it that have the appearance of dirt mixed with brown sugar. These chunks are floating around and concentrated at the top of the bottle. In the center of this swirling brown mass are six vanilla beans.

That's it? Oh my God. There are six vanilla beans. There's that's it. Oh, my God. Wow. There are six vanilla beans that have been soaking in vanilla for the past 25 years. Brothers. Brother Bailey is older than I am. I am 21 years old

and Brother Bailey was created four years before me. For as long as I can remember, Brother Bailey has been sitting on top of our bridge. Brother Bailey has followed us through five different houses and has crossed state lines of Pennsylvania twice in that time. Imagine moving and being like, we gotta pack Brother Bailey. For as long as I have lived, I have known Brother Bailey and will take it to my grave. If I ever get married, if I ever get married,

I will consummate the marriage with a shot of brother Bailey. You will die. If I then go on to have kids, I will keep brother Bailey with me so they too may know it's comforting embrace. You're going to get an infection and die. Or, or. You might cure all infections. Or you might be the healthiest person in the world.

RFK Junior's gonna come knock it. I heard you got the stuff. That was the worst, Brother Bailey. Brother Bailey. Just saying. So Brother Bailey is Disgusting and you've dropped images of it several times Well what I do appreciate like the story of like having this thing that's like look at predates him

Yeah, I do appreciate that It's that I wouldn't consider the spam because the chats moving and he just keeps putting up so people can see it right yeah I mean, I'm okay. I miss the first one. I'm okay. I really Get a couple of this is this is funny to me, and I have bias here uh-huh Not only does it sound not insane to me uh-huh this this Scratches an itch or like a nostalgia where I go I get it so we had stink jar and a stick jug at Achievement Hunter We had a big jug with this big water jug and uh and we used it to waterboard each other one day, which was very fun. It was a hot day and

There was a bunch of water left in and I remember why we started putting shit in it We had like bread with Rudy's or something and someone put bread in it. I think I think Trevor was like We can we can make Yeast or some shit. I don't remember, he said something. We can make vanilla extract. Someone put bread in it and it was funny. And then we just like threw a bunch of shit in it.

In like a day or two, it started turning. And so we covered it to trap the stink. And the exact same thing happened where it was like growing and we were like our child. And it became a thing at the office. And remember when The the bungalow we talked about the someone recently they had the like the pipe leaking or whatever Yeah, yeah before they knew that they thought we hid in their office

And so it'd be like stink-junk worst who moves stink-junk. Where is it? That's our child. That's exactly like this It's alcohol their version might be like cleaner at least because it started with alcohol Right could do something. So what happened to it? Eventually it just got thrown out. I think I think we threw it in a dumpster I think we like buried it you'd have to the dumpster It started we called it stink jug Yeah, a thing and then and then we just like went home for the weekend. We're like, oh my god What fucking stinks in here? It's this jug, it's a stink jug. Then we're like, we get rid of it.

Well, no, we just cover it. Is that a picture of it? We just cover it up, that's it. No! With a bunch of bread in it. That was the beginning when the water was still clear. That stink jug. What happened when Gavin saw it?

That also might be why we did it. Probably the reason you put bread in it is for that reaction. I think anyone- But then it turns into something else. Anyone here listening that knew what I'm talking about had to have been thinking about Stink Jug, right? I mean, can I get some...

Stink Jug confirmation? Once you started explaining it, I was like, it's Stink Jug and that's the waterboarding video. Oh, jeez. What was this? Cause I have no memory of Stink Jug. Was this around? Even in the...

2018? Yeah, I would say this 2019. Cause I remember the bungalow thing. It was right outside the Sandra Bullock door. Yeah, when we waterboarded each other. I think that was why we had an open jug of water with some water left. Wasn't there like a workout bench or something

that you guys had brought to the office? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to work out of the office. I had to get my lifts in. Oh man. I thought of stink jug immediately. Dude. Was it always stinky?

Like after that initial stink? Yeah, but we covered it so it didn't stink. But if you uncovered it, it would stink. Yeah, we put like some rag or something over it and then like rubber banded it or something. And it didn't stink. But like you could see like black mold growing in it like up against the edge. And it would get like, it turned to color. Then it just became like an experiment.

We were like, what's it look like now? And we just kept it at the airtight. So we can go, what the fuck is this? And we're like, it's stink jug. It's just science, huh? It became a thing that we all loved and cared about. And so now you have, theirs is easier actually, cause it's small.

Right. This was a giant five gallon jug of water. Brother Bailey is just a bottle of absolute. Brother Bailey, I get it. Brother Bailey's been around for 25 years. 25 years is crazy. We had it a couple months. Yeah, imagine having stink jug now

and how inconvenient that would be. Enough people at the office knew about it. We never did anything, we left it there. But I think Blake came over one day, he's like, you put that jug under our office. You put that thing, it stinks over there. Did you guys do it? Like they were filming a video,

going around trying to find it out, and then off camera they're like, but really though, did you guys put it? Like if filming L video going around trying to find it out and then off camera? They're like, but really though. Did you guys? Like if it's a joke, it's fine. It's just it's please tell us just think so bad under there like you're fucking with us Please we gotta get oh really we didn't do it. They did not believe us and then it was a They were checking the ceiling tiles hard we put something in this sad to have missed out on that being in like the separate building with the link. But also I'm glad to be away from it at the same time. Oh wait, I was like, because boy it could happen to you.

Yeah. It's uh, nerve-racking. We did hide a stink cup in the bungalow and it was, I don't know if it was my idea to put it there, but my idea was we put it in John Reisinger's office because he can't smell. Yeah, oh that's right! So other people were like, what is that smell? Where is it? And John's like, yeah, I don't know. And it was like right next to his desk.

That was like a tiny one. We probably did that after stink jug because it gave us the idea was stink cup. And it was Chris and John sharing an office. John couldn't smell it. And Chris probably was like, hmm, someone's making lunch because he's fucking weird.

Hmm, what's that delicious aroma in it? Everyone was like, what is it? We don't know. We did that first, so then they thought we like, leveled up and destroyed their whole office. But it was just poop. It was just poop. It was just them doing it to themselves.

Which makes it funnier, because they were like walking around the office just sniffing, and I was just like, that is poop. Just trying to find poop. You got poop in your nose now. Anyway, I love brother Bailey. Yeah, I think. That's a better name than stink joke. Yeah. I think that's a great story.

I think it's pretty awesome. It's a fantastic story. I would keep that thing as long as live as possible. I had a blue Gatorade at my desk for like 12 years. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't stink. Yeah, but it was just a Gatorade. I'd gotten from the kitchen and I'd put it behind my monitor and didn't drink it. And then weeks and months and someone's like, Did you drink the Gatorade yet? And I'm like, Well, now it's my a Gatorade I've gotten from the kitchen and I put it behind my monitor and didn't drink it and then weeks and months and someone's like

Drink the Gatorade yet. I'm like, well now it's my blue Gatorade. I'm pretty sure I took it home at one point Wow, like when we moved from the one off the other one. I think it's still in my garage somewhere People would come by like six years like you still got that blue Gatorade. I didn't open it. You have it Yeah, I'm just gonna buy a bottle of blue Gatorade and say that's I Well, this is it. Well, don't cuz I would a bottle of Blue Gatorade and say that it's not important up there. This is it! Well don't tip, don't tip in. Oh, cause I would also say then like after- I'll check the copyright on it. I had that before I got married, I had that before I had kids, and I was like, wow, this

Blue Gatorade has been here before all of you. That's crazy. That Blue Gatorade was there before most of the employees at Rooster Teeth. Brother Gatorade! By the end. Brother Gatorade. So I think the ruling on Brother Bailey is we're for it. I'm for it.

I'm definitely for it. It brings nostalgia back to me for my own experience. Damn, that's awesome. That's a great one. Slam that gavel and we can head to the next one. All in favor of Brother Bailey? Beautiful. Perfect.