100% Eat - Dairy Queen Carolina Reaper Tacos

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Dairy Queen Carolina Reaper Tacos so you know if it’s worth eating. They also talk about hand signs , DQ vs DQ Texas, Damon Salvat...ore and more. Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com code FACEJAM , Factor http://factormeals.com/facejam50 code facejam50 , Fitbod http://fitbod.me/FACEJAM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Anything else you want to say? All right. All right. Welcome to Face Jam. All right. The show where we try every new fast food creation. All right. To let you know if you need it.
Starting point is 00:00:11 You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? All right. I mean, I was doing worse, and then he started saying, all right. Yeah, he just kept saying it. Kind of heightened the mood. Today, we're reviewing Dairy Queen Carolina Reaper Taco.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Just one. Well, it's not more than one, but it's one. It's fine. It comes in a box of three, but if you mash them together, it's one. Yeah. Gracie, how did the ordering... They're in boxes of three, but there's four boxes in five of us. What happened? I got chicken
Starting point is 00:00:47 tenders. She doesn't have to eat the food. I ate the taco also. But I wanted the chicken tenders and the fries to dip in my ice cream. What? I silenced you. Okay, so hang on. So when I
Starting point is 00:01:03 asked how the ordering goes... You asked why there was an extra box. No, I wasn't asking why Okay. So hang on. So when I asked how the ordering goes. You asked why there was an extra box. No, I wasn't asking why there was an extra box. It just seemed like you would just get five boxes and be done with it. Oh, well, that seemed like a lot. Did it? Once we opened the boxes, they looked at them. When I said like me going up there and saying, I need 15 tacos felt excessive. How many did you say? 10, 9, me going up there and saying, I need 15 tacos felt excessive. How many did you say?
Starting point is 00:01:26 10. 9? 10. 10? I told you. How'd you get an extra one? How'd you get 10? Wait.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I just don't know. I don't think the jump from how many you asked for and how many 15 just doesn't seem huge. Also, they're three packs, right? Yeah. So you just get, like, a box. You don't ask for 15 tacos. You get five. Let me get five boxes.
Starting point is 00:01:44 It was a single taco. Oh, so they just put them in boxes of three? I'm sure there was probably, it was like a promo sign. So it didn't have all the breakdown of like, this is how you can order it. I'm confused. So I just said, I just had to give them an exact number of how many I wanted. How many fucking tacos do you want? How did the lady take it when you ordered the tacos?
Starting point is 00:02:02 She said, you want how many? Okay. And I said, I want nine. Now I understand maybe the hesitation to order. She probably asked? She said, you want how many? Okay. And I said, I want nine. Now I understand maybe the hesitation to order. She probably asked for 15 and she said, how many? Alright, let's dial it back to nine. If you're gonna be judgmental back there. Yeah, no kidding.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Yeah, just make the tacos, lady. Alright? Yeah. I'm ordering the food and giving you my food. Don't judge me. That's why things are the way they are. Where's the timer? It's right here, baby. It's going to fall over.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Is that accurate? Nick's going analog this episode, so it's digital. No, he's going lo-fi. Oh, that's right. He's going lo-fi. She never does. Lo-fi. But lo-fi now means something else to me.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Lo-fi doesn't mean this is shit. Okay. I'm going to do a shitty job. I mean, he's doing this for us because I can't take pictures of his signs right now. I've got this going. There's nothing you can do. Use that timer over there. That iPhone I bet can multitask. Yeah but Eric can't.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm willing to believe. You know what I learned about. I'm not sure Eric knows how to get back to the stopwatch. I don't know. She said it and it was so cutting. She's right. There's like no need for that. Well, that iPhone,
Starting point is 00:03:06 I bet can multitask. Yeah, no, I fucking understand that. I'm trying to, for there, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:03:13 If I don't, if I don't think it can multitask, he hasn't updated to 17.4. He also, he trailed off there, but I think the implication is if he takes the timer away for but a moment, we'll freak out and not understand how much time we've been recording.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Ah, put it back! Are we at an hour yet? Oh, it's back. Oh, thank God. Dude, you know what I just learned? Three minutes? Was that about 60? I just learned with the iPhone,
Starting point is 00:03:38 you know, if you're playing music like on a Bluetooth speaker or something and you go to video, it stops the speaker so you can record. Yeah. If you you go to video, it stops the speaker so you can record. Yeah. If you instead go to photo, you know how they have that shortcut in photo now where if you hold the snapshot?
Starting point is 00:03:51 If you do that, your speaker keeps playing. Did you know if you do that and then swipe up a little bit, you don't have to keep holding the record button? What's to the right, but it's a lock. Yeah, you go to the,
Starting point is 00:04:01 yeah, it locks it. Gracie told me it was up. She's been giving me all these iPhone tips. No, I didn't. Gracie's locking in place. Hashtag Gracie's iPhone tips. Which is great Yeah, you go to the yeah One wheeling like crazy and I like playing music and then I'm gonna record a video and then my cool beats stop Yeah, I was contemplating getting a second phone on me Wow just to play like Spotify Yeah, and that one, it'd be fine. Oh, I don't care. But I looked it up first.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Have you replaced that screen yet? Why don't you take a look? I haven't. It's right here on this table. Yeah. Close to you. Yeah. I'll get to it.
Starting point is 00:04:36 It works fine. I saw you hit 500 miles. I did. Whoa. You would one wheel 500 miles? I would. And I would wheel one wheel maybe even 500 more miles. That's right.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Just to be the guy. I'm already at 522. Wow. I don't stop. No. I'm going to have a lot of free time to wheel coming up soon, too. Oh, why is that? Are you going on vacation?
Starting point is 00:04:59 I'm going to take some time. Yeah? Yeah, wheel around a little bit. Uh-huh. Good idea. I'll put in my time off. Yeah? How much time off you thinking? Couple months.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Do you think that time off is probably looking to start? I don't know, maybe sometime around May? Oh, okay. Probably right after Eric's birthday. Yeah, right after your birthday. Guess what? I'm thinking, I'm taking summer vacation with my kids.
Starting point is 00:05:26 School's out. Me too. Dude, staying up, eating ice cream every night like Chris Damaris. Do you know about that, Gracie? What? Do you know about Chris Damaris and his ice cream? She says as she's eating ice cream yeah I mean I know he has like some food
Starting point is 00:05:47 antics like the pasta Pete thing yeah I don't know about the ice cream he's a freak he eats ice cream every day every single night actually like before bed yeah like it's his ritual how much like one of the like a bowl like a bowl of ice cream a couple of scoops I would imagine every single day like he has to we've been to
Starting point is 00:06:03 his house I've seen his freezer. How much is stocked in there? Quite a bit. You know like the Breyers sort of like larger? He's got a couple. He's got like a few of those. A couple sounds like he has two. He has more than two.
Starting point is 00:06:18 But also, yeah, something like that. But not to confuse it like, oh, he stuffs his face. No. No, he just has a bowl. No, he just has a little bowl of ice cream every night. He needs it. Interesting. It's like a baby getting his baba.
Starting point is 00:06:32 But he's giving it to himself. Wait. He's mama and baby. Does he eat the same flavor every night? I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think he does. I think he's got to mix it up.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I'm curious as to like, if there's like brand. Like a loyalty? Yeah. Does he only do the Breyers? Does he ever go with the Blue Bell? Oh, I'm sure there's not. Here's the thing. I think if there was any brand loyalty, if someone said,
Starting point is 00:06:55 do you want this free ice cream? All loyalty out the window. Or here's a coupon. Yeah. I got a good deal on it. That's valid. Yeah. Does he keep any creation for the win? Is that HGV brand? Oh, yeah. It's a pretty good brand. It is pretty good. Yeah. that's valid does he keep an Emmy creation for the win
Starting point is 00:07:05 is that HGV brand it's a pretty good brand it's pretty good yeah you know what I really like from them what
Starting point is 00:07:11 Orange Sherbert you're so weird when it comes to sweets right I don't understand Orange Sherbert is like I haven't tried
Starting point is 00:07:20 the Orange Sherbert I like Orange Sherbert yeah it's just so we all got we got the Carolina Reaper tacos... So we all got... We got the Carolina Reaper tacos, and then we also got Reese's Blizzards.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yeah, Michael hasn't touched his. Oh, he touched his, all right. This one's mine. Michael fully consumed his. Oh, Jordan hasn't touched his. Yeah, it's gone. It's done. And you were the first.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I put it back where it belongs. Do you want to see mine? Do I pass? She really checked. She looked and went, hmm. Looks pretty clean. Okay, Nick's showing off, too. No one asked him. Nope. He's showing off too. No one asked him.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Nope. He's showing off too. He just wants to be on the phone. I'm surprised you didn't eat the styrofoam cup. Gracie didn't get a Reese's Blizzard. Obviously not. And then also, when asked at the counter if we wanted extra Reese's in our Blizzard. She made the decision for us to say no.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Because she wouldn't want it. She didn't like chocolate. Why would we? Is there a way we can get less Reese's in there? Can we actually just get plain? Can you just spin up a bunch of ice cream? Don't put shit in it. But make sure you spin it because I know the difference.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I can tell. They didn't hold any of them upside down? Not a single one. They put them all in that carrier and pinned them to me. I wouldn't go that far. I could sue, I bet. I wouldn't go that far, actually. Now I'm on board. God damn, this guy's counting down the days.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yep. He's going on summer vacay, too. So this episode, we had a few different thoughts or ideas of like, what food are we going to do? There's like four things out right now. We're spoiled for choice right now. There's just a few different things. Buffalo Wild Wings is one we haven't done before. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:08:49 No, no, we have. What do they have? But we haven't done it like a long time. Chicken. No way. Was I right? Was I right? You were right.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Whose phone can multitask now, Gracie? They had a couple different flavors, but we landed on this. We haven't done DQ in a minute. And this seemed weird to get tacos from a Dairy Queen. And why are they like the spicy Carolina Reaper? How? First of all, Dairy Queen.
Starting point is 00:09:18 And also tacos from Dairy Queen? It just seemed too out there. It's also, I had to teach Gracie about the difference between Dairy Queen and Dairy Queen Texas. How did she take to your teaching? She was not thrilled. I didn't have what I wanted. Immediately when we said oh, we'll do Dairy Queen tacos, she went
Starting point is 00:09:36 oh, I'm going to get the birthday cake dipped cone. And I went, I think we're going to have to travel out of state. And then she started doing research. Yeah, unfortunately, Dairy Queen really, for whatever reason in Texas, they decided to be
Starting point is 00:09:49 their own separate thing. Yeah, and have the shittier menu? Yeah, they do. Like, why? You've been given a lesser product your whole life
Starting point is 00:09:57 and you didn't even know. Do other nationwide Dairy Queens have pretzels? Something tells me they might. Oh, I don't know. I think they might. Go to dq.com and have a look. But we grew up her go when that
Starting point is 00:10:13 Pretzels one where's the regular use of you you gotta get out you gotta get You fucking down Look at those. They're like pretzel sticks. You fucking doubted over there. I heard you. He was like, no, they don't have it. Oh my God, look at them. Pretzel sticks with zesty queso. Everyone get a look. Eight hour road trip to get out of the state. We got the budget. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Yeah, yeah. We're flush with cash. We don't have the budget, but we got plenty of time. We got plenty of time. Do they have that out there? Now, here's the thing about West Coast Dairy Queen. Also slightly different. Because we grew up with DQ Grill and Chill.
Starting point is 00:10:52 That's true. Wait, that's here too. That's way old school. I've seen one of those in Texas. Really? I think those are... When I used to stop on the way to summer camp as a child. She drove a hand symbol.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Also, we might have a different video version, so you might be able to see Gracie do a cool hand symbol. Maybe her on her way to summer camp was in California. Oh, yeah, yeah. Summer camp in Arkansas. What are you doing over there? She's doing hand symbols.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I'm just playing. No, I was telling him that this is like, when I'm being sarcastic or something, I always just throw this up. Why? I don't know. And I don't remember how I started. That doesn't read as sarcasm
Starting point is 00:11:29 at all. I'll show the people. Well, now you're like Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Go away. That shows sarcasm? Well, if you're listening to this,
Starting point is 00:11:40 she did Spider-Man hands. I go, Thwip. Yeah. Or like, here, I'll give you guys a hypothetical. Okay. Found out the company went down yesterday and I was like, I don't have a job. What? Like that. Oh, okay. It's just like...
Starting point is 00:11:54 Yeah, Michael's going on summer vacation. Exactly. Now, wait. What did you find out yesterday? So what part of that was hypothetical do you think, Michael? Nothing. None of it. Sounds like that happened yesterday.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Hypothetically, we find out yesterday. If that were to have happened, that's how I would have reacted. If it would have happened. Oh, my God. Nick just held up a sign that said, we're limited time now. Whoa. Oh, man. Well, held up a sign that said we're limited time now. Whoa! Oh man. Well, you gotta figure out vacations and stuff and then we'll figure out Face Jam. Don't worry about it. I'm sure there'll be some kind of
Starting point is 00:12:32 Michael Comma Jordan thing going forward one way or another. You're sure? Yeah. What about a Nick Contreras thing? Hey, you know what? Hey, I'd stake my reputation on it. Literally means nothing. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:12:46 We did James Giving? Okay, now I believe him. Are we going to have some kind of sacrifice of the monkey mask at the end of this? Why? Why would you think we need to do that? We need to sacrifice the monkey? No, just the mask. Just the mask.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yeah, but I think if we're going to sacrifice... Oh, you have to go all in. Yeah, it's got a whole thing. And Nick, too. Yeah, absolutely. All or nothing, you know what I mean? Earmuffs I mean, it's got a whole thing. And Nick, too. Yeah, absolutely. All or nothing. You know what I mean? Ear muffs and all. We could get a new Nick.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Oh, yeah. Just like a little punch up. We should see if Ben's doing anything. Oh. And we can put him in that chimp mask. Oh, yeah. The gorilla mask. Remember when he came on one time?
Starting point is 00:13:19 He was fucking glass. He was like dancing. That was weird. He was like, he fucking like snapped, pointed and shit. He was like, he came on, he He finally snapped, cleaned it and shit. He was like, he came out and he was like, yep. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:28 But he wasn't being sarcastic. Okay, no, hang on. Let me see if my phone, let me see if my phone can hang up. No, he went in for the timer. How long has it been? What time is it? Where am I?
Starting point is 00:13:37 Is it May yet? We're out of time. Oh, no. Oh, no, we're only at 13 minutes. We're good. We're good. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Plenty of time. Oh, man. only at 13 minutes. We're good. Plenty of time. Oh man. I think maybe just, we should just get to Jordan's haiku. Alright. Let me preface this one a little bit. I wrote this on Tuesday. It's now Thursday. I wrote this on Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:14:02 That's also fine. Woke up in the morning, have a cup of coffee. I'll get this done before the all hands. Sure, yeah. I'm just making that clear. And then I didn't. Because in the new light, there's more context that could change things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Maybe throw one of these up. Stop. Everybody stop shooting web. Mad at web. We're mad at web. The reaper drifts near. Okay, come on. I fucking told you.
Starting point is 00:14:31 I fucking told you. Come on. It's the Carolina Reaper one. So I went a little morbid. He knew. And I knew. Yeah, we knew in that cheats video. That's what we were talking about.
Starting point is 00:14:45 That's not what we were talking about. The reaper drifts near. His scythe raised high overhead. A swing and a miss. This is how you know. I might have to change that last line. Right. More like clean hit home run out of the park.
Starting point is 00:15:02 It was like Final Destination. You took my head off. He ducked and he missed, but he didn't realize the blade was still going around. That was... Where I was going with that one was just like, there's no way these tacos are going to be spicy. Carolina Reaper or no. They cannot put something that's like millions of Scovilles out and give it to people willy-nilly, they will revolt.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Especially in a Mayfield Dairy Queen. Yes. What is Mayfield? That is the franchise owner of a bunch of Dairy Queens. Is that right, Nick? I did see signs of that, but I didn't. So like you go to one and they're like,
Starting point is 00:15:41 oh, it's better. You know who tells you this? Fucking Jack. Oh yeah, they're better here. At the fucking Dairy Queen, dude. The Dairy Queen? That's your standard? This Dairy Queen's better. By how much? Well, they don't have pretzels.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I've said this before. It sounds like it's worse. Dairy Queen sucks. Yeah, it just sucks. I think that's well established. But like, Texas loves it so much. I don't get it. I don't understand it. But do y'all actually know anyone that seeks it out? I don't get it I don't understand it It sucks But do y'all actually know anyone
Starting point is 00:16:06 That seeks it out? I don't know a single person That would go there Oh my wife for the ice cream But okay right But I'm saying for like the food Oh no I've never actually known somebody
Starting point is 00:16:14 That would want to go Oh but here's the thing You don't eat at a Dairy Queen We all say that like Oh we don't seek it out Whatever So many fucking people here So many people
Starting point is 00:16:22 In this building are like Oh yeah I eat at Dairy Queen Yeah If there were people In this building right now We would We would ask them There's a couple people here. So many people in this building are like, oh yeah, I eat at Dairy Queen. If there were people in this building right now, we would ask them. There's a couple people here. The reaper approaches. The reaper approaches. He drifts near.
Starting point is 00:16:34 He gives you empty cardboard boxes. And email from tech. Do not take out something that has been tagged. Return your laptop. You will be raped. Leave your ID card behind. Oh, man. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Let's learn about Dairy Queen. Do we have to? Who cares? What do you mean? That's my part. Let's just. Yeah, this is the Michael part. Let's just.
Starting point is 00:17:01 You know who cares? Who needs the format? No, no. Here's who cares. There's a guy who's been doing just the facts and putting it on YouTube. Dude, when you listen to just fact sections back to back, this show is fucking insane. We just. We just have to.
Starting point is 00:17:17 We just hammer. It's so good. It's the meat of the show and everything else is just, you know, it's just. It's just Carolina Reaper and an under bed of cheese. Or rice. Or rice. What was it? I guess we'll find out. Yeah, we'll get to that later. Our previous Dairy Queen episode was released December 5th, 2023. That was not that
Starting point is 00:17:43 long ago. Not at all. Where we ate the Dairy Queen of Holiday Blizzards. I still don't remember it. Nope. It was four months ago. I kicked my feet. Yep. That I remember. That I remember. Why didn't you put that in the fact? It received an average score of 27.5. Fucking terrible.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I remember cookie dough, maybe. Like sugar cookie dough. Or lack thereof. It didn't have much. Oh, then I was eating two of the same one. Yeah. Oh, yeah! That's right. I had to get extras. Yup. Yes. Did you go take the other one from your kid?
Starting point is 00:18:17 Yeah, did you steal the other one from your child or what? I need that back. It wasn't much of a fight. I'll just say that. She kicked my ass. It was me, so it sucked. Gave it up willingly. I tell everyone I fell on my one wheel. In an update to prior news, Mall of America is still dairy queen-less, but
Starting point is 00:18:37 with the eviction of DQ holding steadfast and no replacement coming in, but, there's the but, I was too early. Fear not. If you're hungry in MOA, Mall of America, you have many options like Rainforest Cafe, two different
Starting point is 00:18:54 Great American Cookies locations and a Long John Silver's. MOA might be F-U-C-K-E-D, bro. Fucking Rainforest Cafe? Do they call it MOA? Long John Silver's? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Oh. I don't know if they call it that. Have you ever eaten Long John Silver's? No, Long John Silver's was the first restaurant that we banned from this show. I think we banned it before we even started. I've never been to one. I don't want to. No.
Starting point is 00:19:20 No. Do you go there? Damn chicken. This is a show. This is the guy who goes to DQ. This is a show, Gracie, where we, before we started, we're like, we're not going to do fish. We're banning Long John Silver.
Starting point is 00:19:34 And then we ate a fish sandwich from Arby's. Did you eat it too, Michael? Yeah. That's why you don't like fish. I don't remember why. What happened? We all had the flu. We were all sick. And we hated it.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Oh no. And we ate it and like ate half of it. We were so sick. It's the fucking screwiest episode. And then we had like leftover fish sandwiches
Starting point is 00:19:54 and Cole came over and he went, what's this? And we went, leftover fish sandwiches and he went, all right. I love this.
Starting point is 00:20:00 And he just ate them. Gobbled them up. It's fucking crazy. And we were hiding. We were in stage five. We were recording on the podcast set. On the Rishik podcast set. But it wasn't staged up. It was placed to the side.
Starting point is 00:20:12 And then we had curtains up and stuff. And Cole still found his way. He was like, I smell fish sandwiches. It was a fish sandwich with a slice of cheese on it and a mint shake. Ew. I forgot about the mint shake. Every part sucked. Nick just said, God, I forgot about the mint shake. Yeah, every part sucked. Nick just said, oh, I like that.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Okay. Dip your fish sandwich in the mint shake. That was so real. I do it so it's normal. Yeah, God, Jesus Christ. All right, another fact. Here we go. DQ's famous free cone day returns on March 19 this year.
Starting point is 00:20:47 So if you're looking to save a dollar but willing to wait 45 minutes, maybe use that time to think about what your time is worth and come back tomorrow with $5 and a sense of purpose. You can probably get the free birthday pancakes at IOP2, you clown. What do you think that says? Now, if that was May 19th, I'd go wait in line. Oh, yeah, yeah. There you go. Worth way less
Starting point is 00:21:15 now. Time. Oh, yeah. Well, not now. Soon. Yeah, soon. Give it time. Maybe don't lo-fi the next two months, Nick. Spend the next two months phoning it in. Right. Have you guys ever done the free Cone Day stuff and everything? No, I didn't even know it was a thing.
Starting point is 00:21:39 I have done free Slurpee Day on July 11th. Okay. Starting to think maybe not the best idea. So pumped for it. Yeah, too pumped. It really makes you question your decisions. You can only do it on 7-11.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Well, no. The other 7-11 thing. What's the other 7-11 thing? What are you saying? Oh, yeah. Remember? We were all going to go in there with $7.11. Yeah, we're going to.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Oh, yeah. Yeah, now we don't have that kind of money $7.11 I had it on the schedule for late May early June so I do by the way Gracie though I appreciate it I had the exact same response when this guy goes when are we doing that
Starting point is 00:22:17 and she goes you can only go on $7.11 there you have it. A Casper, not the ghost, Wyoming Dairy Queen is under police scrutiny for the accidental discharge of a firearm resulting in an 18-year-old man being
Starting point is 00:22:37 shot. The police say they interviewed customers, employees, the shooter, victim, and other involved parties concluding that this was the unsafe handling of a gun, so they ask if you're going to play hot potato with a gat, do it at Burger King. Sauce monkey stays strapped. Keep that
Starting point is 00:22:53 MF thing on him. What is wrong with you? What are you talking about? He really just kept going with that one. It never ended. Quick, the all-in is starting. Hang on, I gotta finish this. This is gonna be the best fact ever. Honestly, I'm feeling so creatively juiced right now.
Starting point is 00:23:11 I love Wednesdays. Gotta get this one in. Nothing's gonna kill my boys and their spirit. Oh, man. Pump day, not to me. More like pump day. The idea that the police interviewed all these people and then they went, yeah, you know, it happens. It's like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Just an accident. Oh, yeah. Is that what happens? You're hanging out at a DQ and your friend gets shot. Who among us haven't been at a Dairy Queen where a gun goes off? Throwing the gun around. That's Wyoming, too. So what kind of gun was it?
Starting point is 00:23:42 Was it a long rifle? Right. Oops. A little.22 revolver They're spinning it around I think you mean Revolver Ocelot style It goes on for five minutes Remember when he pretended
Starting point is 00:23:58 To be possessed? Yeah And then he wasn't My arm is from liquid And now my whole body is Let me correct that Remember when he was possessed And then he wasn't. My arm is from liquid! And now my whole body is. Let me correct that. Remember when he was possessed and then in later games they went, let's just say that wasn't real.
Starting point is 00:24:11 We'll just say he made that up. And then you play three and you go, who's this handsome man with a gun? And he keeps spinning around and he goes, That was good. This guy likes ocelots and guns. And he really likes Snake.
Starting point is 00:24:27 He does really like Snake. He likes Snake a lot. Almost too much. Yeah, they're like really good friends, I think. You're pretty good. That's for the video version. That was pretty good. I'm finding a lot of hand signs today.
Starting point is 00:24:44 A lot of hand signs. A lot of web games Whipped around here Madam Web They never did this in Madam Web Dude there was no web in Madam Web Oh what? Oh shit You know she was based on Stanley's wife
Starting point is 00:24:58 Really? What happened to her bastard? Dakota? Yeah Dakota Or like Madam What's her name in life? Madam Web Her creation. The character
Starting point is 00:25:07 that he... Cassie. Don Johnson was like, I want to have a child based on Stanley's wife. And Melanie Griffin said, I love it. Who can I meet up to make this happen? The final fact. The Kentucky DQ
Starting point is 00:25:23 manager forced eight employees to drink cleaning solution with chocolate ice cream as a punishment for not cleaning the ice cream machine properly. The manager stated whether or not they liked chocolate ice cream, Gracie, they were going to eat it today. Good thing I don't work there. Which resulted in some going to the hospital. Authorities are investigating and no punishments have been leveled yet. However, if we worked at a Dairy Queen, we'd probably drink bleach too. Not Gracie though. She's
Starting point is 00:25:52 in it for the dipped cones. Gracie would be... I don't understand it. I don't know how in this episode she's become more powerful. She's got hand stuff now and everything. I can't explain what it does. There's another aspect of this.
Starting point is 00:26:10 What was that? Text messages that Michael's reading, but it's just from Shane. Oh, okay. You have it on display to the world. Yep. It won't go away. It's really strange. What did he say?
Starting point is 00:26:19 He said, get fucked. So I don't know. He heard you were eating DQ. There's another facet to this hand signal thing that I don't know if we're capturing but it's a face Gracie's making as well. Oh wait, what is it?
Starting point is 00:26:33 You don't know what face you're making while you do it? Just do it. Oh wait, no. She's going to think about it. It's a soft smile with your head slightly tilted and your eyes closed. It's tilted down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:47 It's like that emoji. You know the one? That does this. You know? You know the emoji? I'll show y'all. Don't you ever forget about me. If you're on the subreddit,
Starting point is 00:26:57 just go ahead and make that flare. Head down with the... And do it fast. It's this face. Why, you going somewhere? It's that. Oh, cool. It's this face. Why, you going somewhere? It's that. Oh, cool. It's the...
Starting point is 00:27:07 Oh, show the camera. Jesus Christ. I'm glad we took it away so we don't play to it. It's there. She's doing what the fuck we're doing. It took 26 minutes and 38 seconds. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:20 It is what it is. Don't play to the camera. Oh, my God. Oh, the whole thing's fucking... Oh, God. Oh, my, yeah. It is what it is. Don't play to the camera. Oh, my God. This table is not strong enough. Oh, God. Oh, my ice cream. Oh, he's laying in gravy. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Well, check it out on YouTube. You can go to facejamppod.com. At this point, it's not really the purpose. Just go to our YouTube channel. We'll figure it out. Hopefully, it's still called Face Jam. So, Nick doesn't care. Have you ever had to eat chocolate ice cream with a cleaning solution for doing a bad job?
Starting point is 00:27:49 I bet if Gracie had to, she'd be like, oh, this chocolate ice cream sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Could you not have left the ice cream out? Can I just drink the cleaning solution? Yeah, just give me the bleach. It's fine. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:01 It clearly says whether or not they like chocolate ice cream, they were going to eat it today. That's a direct quote from the manager. How long ago did this happen? On the 4th. I like how he points that out, too. As in three days ago, 4th? Oh. What?
Starting point is 00:28:14 This happened on the 4th. That's awesome. The accidental discharge happened on like the 3rd. Oh. Wow, they did a lot of interviewing very quickly. Yeah, there's a lot going on in the DQ. When you search Dairy Queen Crazy Facts, none of them you haven't reported before,
Starting point is 00:28:26 so you search Dairy Queen and go to news, and you go, what the fuck is happening? You know, it really goes to show, for as busy a week you think you're having, somebody else always has it busier. Someone else is drinking bleach and getting shot. Dairy Queen, man. I like they specified whether or not they like chocolate ice cream.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Did he also say whether or not you like cleaning solution? I don't care who here doesn't like cleaning solution. Like someone's going to protest just the chocolate. Drink it up. Yeah. Fucking crazy. But those are the facts.
Starting point is 00:28:59 That's Dairy Queen. None of them involving a major. Make sure we put the trash in the middle so the camera can see it. No, I'm trying to get it so that way you can see the time. This is our what? Fourth time going to Dairy Queen. None of them involving the Mayfield. Make sure we put the trash in the middle so the camera can see it. No, I'm trying to get it so that way you can see the time. This is our what? Right, but both. Fourth time going to Dairy Queen? Surely we've mentioned the Mayfield thing before.
Starting point is 00:29:12 I think we have. Yeah. Oh, we didn't get. And also how it's the Friday night lights. Yeah. Dairy Queen. That's where they filmed. Wait, the one that I was just at?
Starting point is 00:29:21 Mm-hmm. The one on Maynard. If you went to the one on Maynard, yeah. That's where they filmed. Some kid works at. It's from the TV show went to the one on Maynard, yeah. That's where they film, like, some kid works at. It's from the TV show. Michael's doing the hand thing. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I think it's called Tasty Cold or something. Yeah, something like that. That's where they filmed it. But you know what? Gracie went and got the food for us today because we were on a little bit of a time crunch. In more ways than one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:41 But I am sad that we didn't get a picture in front of the I am your father pig next to bacon. Oh, right, right, right. Pig Vader. Yeah. Still there? Yeah. Did you not see the big sign? At the Dairy Queen?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Yeah. It's outside the Dairy Queen. Right. Yeah. It must not have been very interesting. I wouldn't say it's a big sign as much as it is a movie poster. It's a movie poster. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:03 I wouldn't say it's a big sign as much as it is a movie poster. It's a movie poster. It's a pig that looks like Darth Vader. And he's like holding a lightsaber and he's talking to bacon, I think. I missed that somehow. A clip art pig. Clip art Darth Vader helmet. And he's saying, I am your father.
Starting point is 00:30:23 If you search Face Jam Dairy Queen and then find our old Twitter post, I bet you find it there. It's pretty good. You might have to type X now instead Twitter post, I bet you find it there. It's pretty good. You might have to type X now instead of Twitter, though, just for search results. It might help. Didn't? Oh, no. I had a friend who's like, oh, it's my 13th anniversary of X. This is outside.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Oh. Yeah. Gracie can't believe what she sees. Gracie went, oh. And then her face froze. And she was like, she needs to be rebooted. I did not see that. She was just staring at it like, oh, that's it? Why are you showing it to me?
Starting point is 00:30:49 I missed that. I could not fucking care less. Who's that guy? Oh, you're looking at an old picture of Michael? What does it look like? Turn it real quick. I want to see. Don't show the camera. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:03 You can tell it's him. He's wearing a Well, I have rings now. So that's why oh What's up, you have a one-wheel now do that's also true usually it's not attached to me but interesting sometimes Michael what are you doing? Me just like oh my hair is like standing up. She's doing a thing fixing my caught my attention If I were you, I wouldn't be drawing my hair at all. I got five more coming today. Do you have the return policy on those rings? No.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Uh-oh. Oh, boy. Uh-oh. You are going to be a ring guy, huh? Are they all like... I like the snake. Thanks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Are they all kind of, I don't know. What would you describe? Yeah. Yes. You go in and Gothic. A little Victorian. Yeah. I've been watching the originals lately.
Starting point is 00:31:53 You had a lot of jewelry. Now here's the thing. That necklace with that shirt and then the rings and the leather gauntlet thing. I know you're maybe going like, oh, trying to, it's like looking like a little dark. You look like Nathan Drake. I mean, he wishes he had rings like this. I'm saying that. If I put the leather jacket on, I'm Damon Salvatore.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Of course. I don't know who that is. It's from the Vampire Diaries, the original show that the originals is based off of. Yeah. And Gracie knew that? Yeah, the Vampire Diaries. The guy from Lost. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Yes. Ian Somerhalder. Ian Somerhalder, yeah. He was. He kills people Dominic Moynihan Not Dominic Moynihan Bobby Moynihan? Locke I'll follow you wherever you go
Starting point is 00:32:36 You fucking idiot I've never seen that man in my life You've never seen him? He looks like Ashton Kutcher Yeah but look up Damon looking in Salvatore not not in okay So I look up the character to really get and then imagine me drinking blood Not blood, but also like a liquor out of a decanter. Oh, that's cool. I like that That's powerful. Yeah, it seems like I would walk into a room your back will be turned to me
Starting point is 00:33:03 You would be pouring it into a small glass and you would say I knew you'd come My back will turn to you, but I would walk into a room, your back would be turned to me, you would be pouring it into a small glass, and you would say, I knew you'd come. My back would be turned to you, but I would be camera facing. Yes, absolutely. Because you would see me enter. Yeah. And then it would cut to a reverse of me looking at you,
Starting point is 00:33:14 and then it would show you turn around. I would go, and I'd pull the thing out, and then, because vampires, they love to drink for some reason. And then he pours you drinks. I've never seen a vampire eat.
Starting point is 00:33:25 It's so weird. They eat people. They do eat people. Yeah. Not really. They're kind of just drinking their blood. They just drink, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Sometimes they eat. They leave them. I don't think they're like... If I were a vampire, I would eat people. Yeah. And people would be there going, you don't have to do that. And I'd say, I want to. Yeah, but I think it's cool.
Starting point is 00:33:42 I'm chewing on the bones. They're dead anyway. I mean, they're coming back as a vampire as I'm still eating them. I mean say, I want to. Yeah, but I think it's cool. I'm chewing on the bones. They're dead anyway. They're coming back as a vampire as I'm still eating them. I mean, it doesn't matter. Vampires aren't real. Werewolves aren't real. Chupacabra's real. Bigfoot's not real. Wait, sorry, back up. What's real? Chupacabra?
Starting point is 00:33:58 Since you know what's real and what isn't, what's the status on the Loch Ness Monster? Oh, not real. What about Champ? Yeah, what isn't? What's the status on the Loch Ness Monster? Oh, not real. What about Champ, though? Yeah, what about Champ? Which one's Champ? Champ is in Lake Champlain in Vermont.
Starting point is 00:34:11 It's the United States. We need one, too. This is the one that we have. Yeah. The very real one in one of the Great Lakes. No, it's not in the Great Lakes. It's in Lake Champlain. That's why it's called Champ.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah. So it's in a worse lake? Yeah. Who's to say what lake is worse or isn't? It's certainly not as bad. That's Champ! That is the picture. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Then why is the minor league baseball team in Burlington called the Lake Monsters? I saw it on MonsterQuest. I got our friend Andrew a hat. Ours is called the chupacabras. Sometimes. Sometimes. Only sometimes.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Only when the moon is full. Yeah, I don't really understand. And when there are goats around. And bring a bunch of goats to the park. It's fucked up. Watch out. It's fucked up. But that's Dairy Queen in terms of facts.
Starting point is 00:35:02 What's Dairy Queen in terms of fiction? Why don't you go ahead and read us what we just ate, and you tell me if it's fact or fiction. It's on the other side. Oh, no, you're on that side. Cut that out. I didn't even have to say anything. I just looked at him.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Boo! Boo! Would you play with your hair a little bit more? Shut up! What the fuck? Hey, we got two months, you know. It's all... Oh, yeah, get it all out.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Yeah, cards on the table. Dairy Queen Carolina Reaper Taco, featuring a crispy corn shell packed with Carolina Reaper-infused Monterey Jack cheese, seasoned ground beef, fresh lettuce, and ripe tomatoes. I doubt that. The Carolina Reaper taco is topped
Starting point is 00:35:46 with a refreshing cilantro lime crema sauce, balancing the fiery heat with a cool finish. So I thought that the sauce was the Reaper sauce. Right. The cheese is Reaper cheese? The cheese is infused with it, yeah. But like six shredded pieces
Starting point is 00:36:02 of cheese? At the bottom, I think there's a layer of cheese. But there was enos do is there a taco around here someone in this one take it out Gracie investigate great this is a great Gracie's investigations Michael ate it they're all gone back for that third one well we'll never know if it was right those were my chicken tenders don't worry about that. That's what you think! Okay. Okay. Let's have a look.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Break it open. Oh, my God. It's so... Oh, it is cheese. It's so cheap looking. It is cheese. Oh, God. It looks terrible.
Starting point is 00:36:39 You bisected it. Look at it. An open-faced taco. Oh, my God. Why don't you eat that one? I don't want... I didn't want to eat this when we got it. There's barely any Look at it. An open-faced taco. Oh my God. Why don't you eat that one? I don't want, I didn't want to eat this when we got it.
Starting point is 00:36:48 There's barely any meat in it. There's barely any anything in it. Dude, look at those ripe tomatoes. The cheese is really sad. I can't believe that it's cheese at the bottom. And like,
Starting point is 00:37:02 only on a third of the taco. So it is the cheese on the bottom. And I thought it was like melted cheese, but that was the crema sauce. Yeah. Oh yeah, you got to say it right, like Nick.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Otherwise you get yelled at by Nick. Yeah. Heckled. Even. Don't fuck up. Okay. Don't fuck up. You know,
Starting point is 00:37:18 it is what it is. Like, Nick did say these were like the crispiest tacos he's had in a long time. To take home. Huh? I don't know. They don't last that long. They're not that crispy at home. I'll shut up now.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Oh my god. He doesn't know what to do when someone else doesn't tell him to shut up. I know, I know. Just let him go. You let him lie down and he goes, yeah, be quiet. Hey, you over there, shut up. Who is that guy?
Starting point is 00:37:47 What the fuck? We hate that guy, whoever he was. Oh, man. Yeah, he doesn't really get us, man. We're still doing this episode? Yeah, crafted to ignite the taste buds with an intense combination of flavors, the Carolina Reaper taco promises a culinary experience unlike any other. Infused with the fiery essence of the Carolina Reaper pepper,
Starting point is 00:38:15 renowned for its record-breaking heat levels, each taco embodies the essence. How many times are they going to say essence? Of Texan spice. You know, when I think Texas, I think Carolina. This is only in texas oh fuck only the boldest of eaters need apply as the carolina reaper taco offers a level of heat that can only be found in the heart of texas available for a limited time at participating dq locations across the state again only, only in Texas. But, dude, what a great point. I know Carolina Reaper's like a thing. Call it Texas
Starting point is 00:38:48 Reaper. Who gives a fuck? Call it Texas Reaper. That's a way better branding piece than Carolina. No one's going, dude, I gotta get the Carolina Reaper. It's gonna taste like Carolina Reaper. They're throwing out so many states, I don't know which one it's in. And where are the pretzels?
Starting point is 00:39:04 Not in Texas. Probably in Illinois, Michigan, something like in. And where are the pretzels? Not in Texas. Maybe in Illinois, Michigan, something like that. I want a Carolina pretzel. Now, is that a pretzel from Carolina or a Carolina flavored pretzel? You dip it into Carolina infused cheese. There you go. They're very spicy. It's weird that you get queso with the pretzel in a state that's not Texas.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Why? Queso feels like such a Texas thing to me. It is a Texas thing. I mean, it's just cheese sauce in other states. Yeah. I mean, it's a queso, right? Allow me to pull it back up. Nick said no, and I just want to hang on that for a second. Queso is not a thing in... Oh, it is.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Zesty queso. In non- Tex-Mex cuisine. Okay, but that's not what the question was. Yeah, hold on. The question was, what do they call it? They don't know what that means. It's Zesty Queso, not Queso. Which participating locations are we talking about? Other states. How come they don't list it?
Starting point is 00:39:53 Yeah, where can I get them? Michael's ready for his vacation. Might take it early. Hit me with the next press material here God, why are there so many? Quote Embracing the profound impact of digital transformation
Starting point is 00:40:12 Boy, don't we know all about it American Dairy Queen Corporation exemplifies a forward-thinking approach that not only strengthens their organizational capabilities but also sets an example for other QSR industry leaders, said Steve Smith, Carolina Panthers wide receiver? U.S. Chief Operating Officer at Esker.
Starting point is 00:40:35 We are thrilled to be part of their digital journey, believing that their commitment to innovation will pave the way For continued growth and success Quote from Esker regarding DQ Becoming part of their accounts payable solutions Why did you include this? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:40:54 I fully and rightfully Just tuned out of that I picked up my phone And I just tuned out I was trying not to fall asleep Well talk to Esker about it. I didn't write it. Who's Esker? I don't know. Accounts payable solutions.
Starting point is 00:41:10 I was reading about pretzels. Jesus Christ. What have you just found out? I found a Reddit post that actually looks like Dairy Queen subreddit. It actually looks like something I would have posted on the Reddit. It goes, so apparently DQ has pretzel sticks. I went there the other day to try them out, but when I asked about the pretzel sticks, the lady, the speaker kept asking me what
Starting point is 00:41:27 I was saying. I literally said the word pretzels so many times I started to think I wasn't saying it right. She said, sir, I have no idea what you're trying to say. Please pull forward. Weird thing is that they had my whole order ready. Parentheses. I ordered other stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:40 And I showed the girl a picture of the pretzel sticks and she goes, oh, that's what you're trying to say. No, we don't have those. So not all locations carry pretzel sticks. And she goes, oh, that's what you're trying to say. No, we don't have those. So not all locations carry pretzel sticks. I didn't realize it was a regional thing. What? I could have written that. Yeah, I was thinking that.
Starting point is 00:41:54 Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzels! Prezza. Pretzels? Plets. Pletsrooms? Oh, and then later down,
Starting point is 00:42:06 she responds, finally in the end, if it helps, I'm in Texas. It does help because that's the answer. D-Q Texas. That's what I like about Texas.
Starting point is 00:42:16 I don't like that at all about Texas. Do you know what their slogan is outside of Texas? No. It's, it's, you would think it'd be, that's what I like about X state. Yeah. It isn't. What is it? I think it's just's you would think it'd be that's what i like about x yeah it isn't i guess what is it i think it's just like dq something different yeah something different yeah dq something
Starting point is 00:42:32 different it could totally be different by now i i don't know when's the last time i got out of this godforsaken state got to a dairy queen be trapped here till may well let me leave happy tastes good that's an awful slogan that's shit Esther should probably drop them from their accounts payable system this is tough embracing profound impact of digital transformation does happy taste good?
Starting point is 00:42:56 no well I don't feel happy in the DQ happy does taste good but that's not where you find it so Gracie went and got the food for us today. Was it fucked up in there or was it pretty missed? I went in the drive-thru. Oh, nice. Good move.
Starting point is 00:43:11 You thought I was going inside? Yeah, that's usually what we do. Well, right. If we're all together, I would have gone in. Yeah. I was just going to take it upon myself to go explore. Prick. Prick.
Starting point is 00:43:21 What's going on? I'm the nice one. Mr. Nice Guy. Mr. Nice Guy. No one Mr. Nice Guy Mr. Nice Guy no more Mr. Nice Guy I think last time we were there for an episode
Starting point is 00:43:31 we called the monsters yeah and Michael got trapped to talk on the phone with a fan's boyfriend oh yeah I think that was
Starting point is 00:43:40 a couple times ago I vaguely remember talking on a phone once uh huh yeah it's a weird Dairy Queen all Dairy Queens I think are weird no that was a couple times ago. I vaguely remember talking on a phone once. It's a weird Dairy Queen. All Dairy Queens I think are weird. No, that was you, Gracie.
Starting point is 00:43:52 If you're actually confused, you need to get your head checked. That was your life you're thinking of. She's Madame Webbing. She doesn't know what time it is. Okay, so what do you think of Dairy Queen Carolina Reaper tacos here? I was expecting almost no spice.
Starting point is 00:44:11 And the first couple of bites was not much of anything. By the time I finished the first one, there was some heat. Now, keep in mind, I am not a spice rat by any means. It's true. It's true. not a spice rat by any means. It's true. I felt the heat on my tongue,
Starting point is 00:44:28 but I did not feel overwhelmed as if it were truly like a fully powered Carolina Reaper. It was not. Yeah. I think for some people, it'll be, ooh, spicy. This is so spicy. For people who are actually like wanting something spicy, they'll be like Nick and Grace and be like,
Starting point is 00:44:44 I don't get anything. Yeah. my nose wasn't even running eating it did have a little kick buzz a little bit yeah but not really enough to be like considered what i not even spicy for me yeah uh and also it's just a shitty taco so the thing that you you're coming for is not good enough and the rest of it is just not good. Um, so, Oh boy, this is a disappointment in more ways than one. So I'm just going to call it a,
Starting point is 00:45:13 I'm going to give it a 34, 34. Okay. Um, first thing I noticed, they're tiny as shit. They were very small, very small.
Starting point is 00:45:23 And then on top of that, somewhere between a regular taco and a tiny taco. Right. Oh, interesting. It's a little smaller than what I would say is like a regular crunchy taco. But then even worse, it's so not filled. Yeah. There's so little in there.
Starting point is 00:45:39 I feel like Gracie ordered and they were like, I don't think we have enough meat to put in 10 tacos. So they started like. don't think we have enough meat to put in ten tacos. Give her nine. It's a trick. Give her five tacos of meat and spread them across nine tacos. That said, it tastes better than most food at Dairy Queen
Starting point is 00:45:58 in my opinion. If you're hungry, you're going to need nine of these things. I ate two and it was like you might as well just be eating the fucking shell. There's like nothing in there. But as someone who hates their food, I would get this over anything else. I would get this over a burger and the chicken. Nick loves how crispy it is.
Starting point is 00:46:19 He really wants everyone to know that. He wants everyone to know how crunchy the crunchy taco is. Right, I would say it's crunchy, not crispy. Right, but you wrote crispy. He definitely wants everyone to know that. How crunchy the crunchy taco is. Right. I would say it's crunchy, not crispy. Yeah. Right. But you wrote crispy. Whatever. Not whatever. Well, whatever is what he said. It is crunchy, but also good job.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Yeah. They buy them. Yeah. They unwrap them from the package and they came like that. Like, I gotta admit, crunchy taco's pretty crunchy. Yeah. They're not frying them up themselves. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Crunchy taco's pretty crunchy. They're not frying them up themselves. But definitely better than the last garbage we ate at Dairy Queen. I definitely didn't want to hit it with a 27. Yeah. I would say I'd give it a 45. Wow. Don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 00:46:59 It still sucks. But everything at Dairy Queen sucks. But it's Dairy Queen, so that's pretty good for them. Yeah, I would get that over a burger for sure. 39.5. Yeah, I think get that over a burger for sure. 39.5. Yeah, I think I would too, actually. Yeah. 39.5 is... That's a good spot.
Starting point is 00:47:11 It's fine. For Dairy Queen? For the food at Dairy Queen? Yeah. Food bombs. I mean, how was that? How was the Reese's Blizzard you fucking rammed through?
Starting point is 00:47:18 Oh, that was pretty good. Yeah. Fucking great. I was hungry. I had two little turd tacos. And half a third one faced up right in front. I was getting to that. Okay. I was getting to that. Okay, I was getting to that.
Starting point is 00:47:30 We're all doing Gracie Hansel. Got that tender. In a couple months, that's how I'm going to walk out of here. Oh, Jesus. For vacation? Yeah, when I go on vacay. I'm going to go get this snack. You guys talk about yourself.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Ooh, snack. What should we talk about? I don't know. You saw Dune. I'm going to go get this snack. You guys talk about your snack. Ooh, snack! What should we talk about? I don't know. Did you see, you saw Dune? I did. Guys. Dune part two.
Starting point is 00:47:50 What's up? Should we betray Eric one more time before this? Why one more time? We have so much time to betray him. Next two months. Yeah, we have so much
Starting point is 00:47:57 betrayal time. Yeah, he'll, you know what? He won't see the first one coming. He sure as hell won't see the third and fourth one. So true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:06 And if he does, I'll gouge his eyes out and he'll never see anything coming ever again. Ultimate betrayal. Right, the ultimate betrayal. You're blind now. Is it funny yet? I'm laughing. Quick, he's gone. Play to the camera. Yeah. You got camera controls over there Nick Zoom in on this
Starting point is 00:48:28 He doesn't have that He's got the control He can't play the fucking audio It's incredible every time Who knows how lo-fi works Can I see your snake Yeah ring Important
Starting point is 00:48:44 Distinction What? He can't zoom out You can squeeze it a little To like tighten it Whoa It's cool right? He's over there going
Starting point is 00:48:59 I know how to do it And now he's talking to himself This is like Awesome That's pretty good He sits down. Eric. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Gus. You slammed the door in Gus's face. Good. Open it. Open it, Gus.
Starting point is 00:49:15 We all saw that. We all saw what he did to you. We're doing Face Jam right now. Yeah. You can help us with a snack if you want. I saw Eric slam the door in your face. This is from Nick. Thanks, dude. This is Face Jam. I saw Eric slam the door in your face. This is from Nick. Thanks, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:26 This is Face Jam. I bring you Australian rum chocolate so Michael can feel like a bug pirate king. I don't know what that means. I guess like rum. Rum pirates.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Rum cocos. How did he not get that? Are we going to get drunk? I don't know. Yeah, that's probably how that works. Gus, why are you leaving? Gus, you want to get
Starting point is 00:49:44 fucked up on a piece of candy? This is incredibly unprofessional I thought we were doing Stinky Dragon in here In two minutes You like it? We're wrapping this shit up If Gus is reacting that way, what am I going to do? Gus, spit it out
Starting point is 00:50:01 Dude, before even biting it It tastes like rum, dude Wait, before even biting it. It tastes like rum, dude. Wait, no. Before biting into it. It just tastes like rum, dude. The coating is awful. Bite into it.
Starting point is 00:50:16 That tastes like if you drank pine salt. Well, if you don't clean the ice cream machine, you're going to have to drink pine salt. Dude, everyone's running. Oh my God. Gracie's spitting it out. Jordan has run out of the room. Nick likes it. Nick, you like that? I mean, I didn't like it, but I ate it. Yeah, he is sick.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Bedlam! There's Bedlam happening now. People are drunk on rum candy. Gracie, like an actual drink, Gracie's chasing it with soda. She's drinking fucking Dr. Pepper Like an actual drink. Gracie's chasing it with soda. Oh my jeez. She's drinking fucking Dr. Pepper Chaser.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Oh my god. Toss him another one. This guy's going nuts for the next two months. Both nicks are sick. Just going to find him. Give me another one. I have nothing left to live for. So what do you guys think about room 5? I can't do this one. hey so so what do you guys think about that one there's something on that one
Starting point is 00:51:05 I hate the last one you can't do this one now Michael has to leave those were ass there you go point at the camera oh my god that was I can't believe Nick likes them that was so much worse than the first one. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:51:26 That was... I can't believe Nick likes them. That was mayhem. Disgusting. I'm glad Gus was here for that one. Me too. I have never eaten anything on the show that has made me gag instantly like that did. Fucking repulsive. It's like stuck in my teeth and I'm gagging every time I get a slight taste.
Starting point is 00:51:45 It's like stuck in my teeth and I'm like gagging every time I get a taste if I had like Tasted that one more time it would look that wouldn't have been the only thing coming up That is by far. Uh-huh the worst thing we Gotta be a one that's a one that goes in the negatives. I hated everything about it. It's an average score of one. It's such a fair one. You did it. Dude, the first one tasted like rum. And Nick, our Nick liked it.
Starting point is 00:52:09 And it wasn't good. The second one was poison. So what the fuck is wrong with like some of them? Dude, I don't know. But like when Gus said Pine Salt, I'm like, oh, it tastes like shit. I ate the second one and it was like cleaning solution. He said it as my- I felt like I was working at DQ.
Starting point is 00:52:22 As it bursted was when he said it. I was like, oh my God. It was chocolate and cleaning solution. He said it as my... I felt like I was working at DQ. As it bursted was when he said it. I was like, oh my God. It was chocolate and cleaning solution. It was the nastiest thing I've ever eaten. What the fuck? Was that bag open
Starting point is 00:52:31 when it got sanded or did you open it? I literally opened it. cyanide, fucking Tylenol situation or something. I put it in my mouth and you could already
Starting point is 00:52:39 taste the rum on the coating and I was like, oh, this isn't going to be good and then I was watching everyone else's reaction and I was like, all right, isn't going to be good and then I like was watching everyone else's reaction and I was like,
Starting point is 00:52:46 all right, I'm going to take a bite. Immediately gagged and had to run out. That is the weirdest snack I think we've ever had sent to us. Don't look at it, Gracie.
Starting point is 00:52:55 No, the smell. The look is fine. It was the smell. Rum Cocos from Nick. Gus, it was a one across the board. Yeah. I gave it a negative two.
Starting point is 00:53:04 I hated it. I want everyone to know also, Nick is from Australia. This is an Australian snack. He also sent me the Raccoon Mario from forever ago. Oh! Thank you, Nick. Hard to hate him, then. Well, I mean, maybe it's easy.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Maybe he's making it easy. He didn't send me one. Sorry. Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you can for a limited time. FaceJam, Caravans, which are 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas 78723. Make sure you get those in by probably the beginning of
Starting point is 00:53:32 April and then maybe stop. We'll have to go through all the backlog. If they come in after I'm on vacation, we don't know that we're ever going to get to them. Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, they'll be bad by the time Michael gets back from vacation. That, that's right. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Hey, you can follow us at FaceJamPod to stay up to date with everything. We do have some more merch that's coming out before Michael goes on vacation. Where are you going? I haven't decided yet. But he knows it's for a long time. I know I'm going.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Uh-huh. He knows the date he leaves on. It's crazy. So you can follow us at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date with everything. I do think we got the tests and I think they're being manufactured. The compliments,
Starting point is 00:54:19 crackle, shoulder, grackle. Oh, that's still happening. And a reorder of the shoulder monkey. Oh, I think we're doing both.
Starting point is 00:54:27 So I think we're going to go out on show. My baby. Send your baby. Yeah, my baby. The compliments Grackle is, he looks like a little Woodstock. He's all black like a Grackle and he's wearing a t-shirt that says compliments.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And you can put them on your shoulder and then everyone will give you compliments. We'll have to go back to P.F. Chang's and give that lady. Oh, she will love it. What a way to go out. We'll show up and she'll be wearing the shoulder monkey then everyone will give you compliments. We'll have to go back to P.F. Chang's and give that lady. Oh, she will love it. What a way to go out. We'll show up and she'll be wearing the shoulder monkey. She will. Oh, I do it every day. I tell everyone to go to that website that takes
Starting point is 00:54:51 you to just the main page. So if you want to go buy stuff for face jam, you go to ShoulderMonkey.shop and it'll just take you to shop.roosterteeth.com for some reason. Anyway, check it out. And give me a pluffle if you're listening. Who knows why this whole thing fell apart.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Gracie, what are you trying to get? Before I also go on vacation, I need a pluffle if anyone has it. A pluffle? What the fuck is she talking about? A human dog bed. A human dog bed. Need it. Gotta have it. Which one was it?
Starting point is 00:55:23 It wasn't the $8,000 hot dog couch. No, this was the much more reasonable $200 dog bed for people. She wants to lay in a dog bed with her dog. I would be okay with any of the colors,
Starting point is 00:55:38 but just to be fun and silly. Get them in now. She's okay with any color. Same address as all the food. Send it my way. I'll take one too if you're... Yeah, I mean, if you're sending pluffle, hey, pluffle,
Starting point is 00:55:50 just send one of each color. We know you're listening to this. We love human dog beds. So check it out. And Cinnamon will lay on it with me when she comes back. Follow us at Face Jam Pod. Hashtag Gracie's goal.
Starting point is 00:56:02 That is Gracie's goal. Gracie's goal before she goes on's goal Gracie's goal And cinnamon She's gonna lay in it with me Okay rate and subscribe Tell a friend about the show Where we eat the food And rate the food Goodbye
Starting point is 00:56:09 Bye Maybe forever Couple weeks Uh oh Yeah well We'll see JK I'm hungry
Starting point is 00:56:15 Then have some more rum and cocos Or have that open faced taco I'm hungry you

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