100% Eat - Dairy Queen Holiday Blizzards

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Dairy Queen Holiday Blizzards so you know if they’re worth eating. They also talk about the difference between Dairy Queen and DQ ...Texas, The Iron Claw, Kerwin Frost, CosMc’s, and more. Sponsored by Express VPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam , DoorDash Download the DoorDash app and use code FJHOLIDAY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. One, two, three. One, two, three. All right, I think we're good. What are we doing that for?
Starting point is 00:00:24 Why did we do that? Are they still doing that over at Let's Play? Five, four, three, two, one. Hold on, I crashed. It said that it wouldn't let me in the game. Like from the sugar? You didn't press B, did you? Never push B
Starting point is 00:00:45 don't touch the fucking controller anymore dude you come tell me when you get into we set this thing up in GTA for 45 minutes and then someone threw a grenade come and get me then we're doing it for you I didn't touch it
Starting point is 00:01:01 it was bored now it's a 9 minute reset you fucking idiot dumb motherfucker dude I didn't touch it. It was bored. Now it's a nine minute reset. You fucking idiot. You dumb motherfucker. Dude, so much of my life. Do the intro. Oh, yeah. His thing crashed.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Whose thing? Jordan's crashed. It was a joke. Oh, it was a joke? I was joking about. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Were you recording or not? Are you recording?
Starting point is 00:01:32 Who, me? No. I stopped. Why are you recording? I stopped because he said it crashed. It's not what you think. I was doing another joke. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Hey, welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I'm just kidding. I didn't stop recording. Yay. Crazy left.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I've been told in the past that sometimes when I'm joking or being sarcastic, it's hard to believe, but I... I wish right now, just... I don't know why it just came to me, with Gracie being gone and that intro, I wish I had a toilet flush ready. I wish I could just put...
Starting point is 00:02:19 I just want to hear... I would have pushed it so hard. I'm back. Oh, my God. Oh my god, fuck. Hey, today we're reviewing Dairy Queen Holiday Blizzards. Yeah. From home. Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I'm getting over an illness, so I didn't want to expose certainly not the good people of Dairy Queen, and certainly not my friends from Face Jam. Yeah, there we go. Okay. And certainly not my friends from Face Jam. Yeah, there we go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:49 So we're doing it from home. Remember when we were thanking frontline workers and nurses? And we don't do that anymore. Dairy Queen workers? Yeah. I thanked them with my patronage and by screaming my order. Screaming your order? Yes, Eric! Because they could never hear you you thank them by screaming your order yeah and they hear it clearly okay uh-huh they hate people
Starting point is 00:03:19 who mumble they love people who scream just they stop you're throwing me off here okay i joined the i don't i don't know what i don't know what Nick and Jordan did to you. I joined this call, and you were going bananas. Nothing happened! That's why I'm saying you're going bananas. And you kept screaming, this sucks! And I was like, I genuinely don't know what the hell he's talking about. He was losing it.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Now, what you missed earlier when you left is I was explaining them about saying we should do ambulance in the podcast room. Yeah. And I couldn't quite decipher your text because you replied, yeah, we'll do it with everyone in a room. And I was like, is he being stern,
Starting point is 00:03:56 intentionally leaving out podcast? Like, yeah, we'll do it in a room. A room. No, I meant the podcast room. And I was like, I wonder why he left that out. Of my choosing. Then I didn't get a reply and I offered up the escape room and you didn't reply to that either. And, I meant the podcast room. I wonder why he left that out. Of my choosing. Then I didn't get a reply and I offered up the escape room and you didn't reply to that either.
Starting point is 00:04:08 And so I went, uh oh, maybe this is why he's so mad. Sorry, I've been running in circles today. He didn't think that joke was funny, Michael. That's why. Yeah, that's why. I missed it when you texted it to me and then you texted me a picture of Eminem that you'd been listening to.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yeah, I've been listening to Eminem. Well, mind you, I didn't just text you I've been listening to Eminem. I added you. That was the point. Why did you do that? Why did you put at Eric Badour in a text message to me? Because I saw you on X
Starting point is 00:04:41 saying don't at me, you're Spotify. So I added you a Spotify that you're not in, but he told you not to. Now, Jordan, that I thought was funny. That I thought was funny, even if he didn't reply to that one either. The other one I was doing, the escape room, was just to piss him off. This I thought was funny. We will do Ambulance. If this is out, this comes out next week week so probably on the 8th if you're
Starting point is 00:05:08 a first member you can sign up at face jam pod.com slash first then you can watch ambulance with us i mean you don't have to be a first member to watch ambulance you can just watch ambulance but to watch it with us i think you probably have to be a first getting dangerously close to watching this movie on accident it's becoming so so accessible. No, we're going to do it. It's fine. We're going to do it. It's on every streaming platform. I'm getting like... Exactly. They're getting ready for the watch long for Face Jam. You're getting dangerously
Starting point is 00:05:34 close to accidentally watching it. I'm going to trip and fall. I'm going to land on my couch. I'm going to land on my remote and it's going to hit the Siri button. I'm going to... Somebody's going to say play ambulance. Well, you're going to land on my remote and it's going to hit the Siri button. Somebody's going to say, play ambulance. You're going to fall and scream, I need an ambulance.
Starting point is 00:05:52 And then it opens thinking in the movie. And you're going to go, well, I'm already here. And then once the Keurig joke comes out. My leg's no stopping. There's no stopping. You're hooked. I'm locked in. You are hooked. Gracie was right.
Starting point is 00:06:06 This is why we need to see each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This just wouldn't be the same. Especially when Gracie's gone and the episode started. It was the start of the thing and she's like, I'm out of here. How much of that opening of the episode
Starting point is 00:06:20 was actual episode? All of it. All of it. Well, how long until we actually started going? Because I feel like it was about three minutes of confusion. That's the show, though. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Are you confused? You're welcome. Hey, you know what's not confusing? Usually we save this shit for the end. But act now if you want one of them shoulder monkeys, because they are going. Oh yeah, that's right. We are almost out of those. Not almost out, but they're running out
Starting point is 00:06:48 and God knows if and when we'll get more. They are flying. So just go to ShoulderMonkey.shop and then click on the three lines in the top left corner and then go to the brands and podcast section and then go to the podcast section and then go to the face jam
Starting point is 00:07:05 section and then it should be in the top right couldn't you go to sort of research.com and do that yeah but you can go to shoulder monkey.com we lost ten dollars on this url i know you're you're telling me we did all of that oh i've made it very clear we didn't lose anything on this uh and the ten dollars refunded oh yeah that's's not hitting us. Hell yeah. We lost our credibility. We said it was going to do something. Yeah, it did. It took you to the store. It takes you to the store for some reason.
Starting point is 00:07:33 And then when I went, did we get specific? They went, ah, ah. And so now. Whoa. And then someone was like, I don't know what's going on. Get an ambulance in here.
Starting point is 00:07:44 And Jordan's like, oh no. And then we start playing again. Well, yeah. Now I'm watching it with a friend. And then you was like, I don't know what's going on. Get an ambulance in here. And Jordan's like, oh, no. And then we start playing again. Well, yeah. Now I'm watching it with a friend. And then you're hooked and stuff. You're watching it with Nick's friends from lunch. I met them. The people that were also at Chipotle that he sat with?
Starting point is 00:08:00 That's awesome. Hey, guys. Can I sit with you? Is this seat taken? Nick said that he regretted he's like oh man i got he got the bigger size ice cream didn't need it and then said oh man i ate a big lunch and then just kept eating his bigger size ice cream he's trying to hold up his laptop to give us not working for so many reasons nick you just you might have to talk in this one no he'll figure it out. Get a mirror. There you go. See, he did it.
Starting point is 00:08:27 And then you want to hold it right up to the camera so we can see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We lost Gracie's shoulder monkey. We didn't lose it. It was given away. Yeah, she gave it away, but we lost it for nothing. But also, he's trying to get the heat off of himself
Starting point is 00:08:43 for eating lunch with people just at the restaurant and saying, I had lunch with friends. All right. I don't know what I mean. I thought it was weird that he mentioned lunch with friends, but I didn't think it was suspect. Eric is accusing you of something else entirely. He's accusing you of finding people and having lunch around the whole story i knew them afterward we got to know each other yeah i saw there's a uh there's this steam game i think it's an early access it's something it's like
Starting point is 00:09:25 some kind of spa simulator it's like a spa game or whatever yeah yeah it's or it's like a sauna sorry it's like a sauna specifically even though it's people sitting in a hot tub regardless the description is like a nice relaxing sauna for you to sit and talk with your friends or meet new people who will very quickly become friends. Because you could just do it online and have people join. It's an awesome description. What the fuck? That's like Nick.
Starting point is 00:09:53 It's like you can meet new people who will very soon be your best friend people. Nick, would you make friends in a sauna? Fuck no. All right. In a restaurant, anything's game. In a sauna, don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I'd never go in a sauna fuck no all right in a restaurant anything's game in a sauna don't look at me don't talk to me i'd never go in a sauna i wouldn't be caught dead yeah cleansing my pores if i'm getting hot i'm doing it alone i'm getting hot in my car eating ice cream just sweating the heat blasting but i gotta eat it fast before it melts.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah, with friends. Oh, man. With friends. I make them sit in my car while the heat's on, and I heat my ice cream as fast as I can. Oh, my God. You can't see what he's doing now. It's unhinged. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Are we still on the intro? Yeah, I forgot to take pictures ofhinged. Oh, no. Are we still on the intro? Yeah, I forgot to take pictures of the food. Oh, shit. Oh, so did I. Oops. And Gracie already threw it away. Well, she's just eating her french fries. I got dregs. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:10:56 I can take very melted pictures. Now, Michael, let me ask you. Are those the same ice cream or different ice cream? No, these are different ice creams now. I amended my mistake. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he got halfway through each of them and then realized these are the same ice cream. I was like, damn, these are similar.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I'll be honest, I forgot what the flavors were. And then I was like, oh, it's peppermint. There's no way. This is peppermint. It's the same fucking thing. So there's two different holiday blizzards. It's the candy cane chill blizzard and the frosted sugar cookie blizzard. And these are the blizzards of the month for the month of December.
Starting point is 00:11:36 How do you have two blizzards of the month? Doesn't make sense. Doesn't make any sense. It's the magic of the holiday season. Well, holiday magic. That's not me saying it to you. It says that at DQ. And I said that when I was there. I go, how do you have two? That doesn't make any sense. You're employees of the holiday season. Well, holiday magic. That's not me saying it to you. It says that at DQ. And I said that when I was there.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I go, how do you have two? That doesn't make any sense. You're employees of the month. Sometimes it's a tie. But this isn't though. We don't know. Oh yeah. A hundred percent.
Starting point is 00:12:00 So there are two blizzards of the month, but then I got cheese curds and Michael got hot chicken. Yeah, I did. And those are limited or not? No, the chicken's definitely limited. No! The spicy chicken is limited. I said that already.
Starting point is 00:12:15 I said that. When I went, I didn't even say I got hot chicken. I sent a receipt as not really like a threat because I did it. But I told Eric, if I have to pick up the ice cream, I'm buying ice cream for my kids too because one was in the car with me and there's not a world where I go to DQ and go, Daddy's got to eat. You get nothing.
Starting point is 00:12:31 And I was like, but I'm not getting stuck with the bill. So I took a picture of the receipt just to show I bought four ice creams. And Nick, of course, ignored all that and dialed in. He's like, do I spice your chicken? And I'm like, I don't know, man. Read the menu. But you went to a different... Who the hell is this? Like, do I have spicy chicken? Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know, man. Read the menu. Yeah. But.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yes, I got it. You went to a different. Who the hell is this? What are you doing? Nick is showing us the spicy chicken sandwich. Oh, my God. He's sharing. Why?
Starting point is 00:12:59 Because he's a fucking maniac. It's just I haven't done this in so long in discord that i'm like who who is here it's like nick before when someone was at his door and he started freaking out yeah what was that oh no somebody rang nick's doorbell and he went uh-oh yeah uh-oh whose whose reaction to a ringing doorbell isn't oh no i, no. I certainly don't hear my doorbell and go, oh, boy. I mean, I usually go, that's one of the things I ordered. If it's someone I don't want to talk to, I ignore them until they go away. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Oh, man. That is weird, but that's okay, I guess. What? Oh, yeah. All right. Can you get that off the screen? Thank you. Yeah, get that out of here. Can you stop presenting, please? Oh, hang on. Eric's presenting. What am All right. Can you get that off the screen? Thank you. Yeah, get that out of here.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Can you stop presenting, please? Oh, hang on. Eric's presenting. What am I looking at? Hey! That's what I ate. The new spicy chicken strip country basket.
Starting point is 00:13:52 So you can check it out right here. We got the new spicy chicken strip country basket. And then here's Dot Joe's in the comment. Hang on. Pookay says, my locations don't have them.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Yep. And then they're not on Uber Eats. And then Dairy Queen says... You didn't see any signage for this. I don't think I did. I saw cheese curds. So do they have something different? Gracie, what in the fuck are you doing?
Starting point is 00:14:18 Gracie's on her couch now. She's lying down. She's in a different room lying down on a couch. What the hell? Granted, I just wanted to be comfy for the episode. Taking the advantage that this is not video. But I mean, this is really wild. What would the car episodes have been like if Gracie had been around?
Starting point is 00:14:39 In the middle of the episode, Gracie gets out of the car and starts walking away. I mean, the middle is a stretch. The beginning of this episode has had, so far, Gracie has gotten up from her spot twice. The first time, she just left. The second time, she went, I don't want to be over here.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I have things to do. What? This is the thing you're doing! It's hard for me to sit still when I'm in my own home surrounded by all my things. You're cutting into our me time, dude. I get so distracted around here. Eric, how old is she? This is again, this is not a slide.
Starting point is 00:15:13 It's just, it's like I got to play with my things. It's just my ADHD kicking in. You put me around a thing, I'm going to play with it. Don't put me in all my space with my things. You leave me alone with all of my things. I'm going to play with my things. my space with my things. You leave me alone with all of my things? I'm going to play with my things. I got all my things. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Were you just fighting something? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. You were like, was something attacking you? Well, no. I was kicking some of my Christmas decor over. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Get out of here, Gingerbread Man. Why would I ask? I thought you were kicking your dog. Who deserves it? She couldn't handle that. Cinnamon, not my dead cinnamon. She would go... No, she would literally disintegrate
Starting point is 00:15:58 and poof into the air. But hey guys, she's still alive. We just took her to the vet two weeks ago. She got new meds. We're doing good. New meds, she's still alive. We just took her to the vet like two weeks ago. She got new meds. We're doing good. New meds. We're going to. That's great.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Hanging on. Not that it matters at this point. We're making it to 17. Grace has moved into an amphitheater, by the way. If you notice the difference in audio now. I think I'm just holding it a lot closer. No, it's just the room is bigger than you're into. I'm in the same room. I just moved two feet over. Oh, well, I mean, there's just the room is bigger than you're into. I'm in the same room. I just moved two feet over.
Starting point is 00:16:27 That's where I was sitting. See how much stuff is over there? Now there's space. Yeah, the pillar and the lights really absorb all the sound. Do you guys have any dairy opinions? I think it's overrated and it's not good. People in Texas go nuts for dairy queen and it's
Starting point is 00:16:46 i don't know why yeah i think we've talked about the phenomenon before about how easy it is to pander as far as marketing to texans by just making it seem like it's a texan thing which dairy queen does to perfection by saying dq that's what i like like about Texas, where everywhere else it's just a regular restaurant. Right. And so I think it really tricks Texans into thinking that Dairy Queen's good and a Texan thing, which it isn't. Gracie was surprised to learn that it's not from Texas.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Nope. Had to explain the difference in menus between Dairy Queen and DQTexas.com. What a hell. So also on that, not only are we doing it from home, but we had to go get it because they wouldn't deliver this stuff. It's like not on the app. Outrageous.
Starting point is 00:17:36 But we've had problems with Dairy Queen before doing this shit. I know. The worst time we went to Dairy Queen. When you go to the site for DQ Texas, it's there. When you go to order it or look at it in their menu, it is not in the menu or on the menu.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Jordan got up and left and Gracie walked on to Gracie's screen. Gracie put a gingerbread man in and I thought it was Jordan. It freaking freaked me out. Well, because I don't know about you, but for me, their screens are next to each other. It looks like Jordan walked into Gracie's screen. I was like, what is happening?
Starting point is 00:18:14 Hold on. Gracie, do that again. Got you. Oh, my God. You're right, too, by the way. When Gracie says she's around her things, she's not like watching TV. She's just playing with a little gingerbread doll.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Like something a four-year-old would do, right? Like not even, it's not even like an adult thing she's playing with. It's like a cat toy. Oh my god. I have to fidget with something. Oh my god. This is the nearest thing.
Starting point is 00:18:45 That's fine. You must just go insane in the office because you don't fidget with anything. Do you just lose your mind? Is that why you're such an animal? I guess. I have to get it out somewhere. I haven't noticed you fidgeting much.
Starting point is 00:18:56 I need an outlet. Maybe it's just because you're always eating fries. I'm also normally typing. Oh. That's true. Which I just realized I forgot that that's also part of my job. Typing? If only there was a way to fidget less.
Starting point is 00:19:11 I just remembered typing is my job. Oh, man. So we got ice cream. Yeah. So yeah, it kind of became open season. So people ordered shit. Well, some of us got cheese curds. Some of us didn't get cheese curds. for just for the episode it was just the ice cream
Starting point is 00:19:29 right that's all we're talking about here yeah yeah yeah although everybody else wanted something oh yeah nick nick is the one i think who was most excited about getting something and what else did you get nick nothing oh what i got my kid lunch from dairy queen yeah cheese he loves cheeseburgers but you didn't get anything no i'm full still from his lunch with friends from his lunch with friends no i don't know if he's actually full or that was just he was setting it up i love it either way it pretty good hey i can't eat another bite oh i guess i'll just do the kevin james meme he's like he's like i i guess i'll just eat these two medium ice creams all the way no they're not meals it's okay they're not meals. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:20:26 They're not meals. They don't count. The calories don't count. It's just thickness. Gracie's in the same spot. She's just re-angled. She is now a little kid just lying down on her stomach on the couch. She's just laying on her stomach, kicking her feet.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Are we going to gossip? Trust me. Now it's just the joy is explaining it to the audience because the camera... I mean, unfortunately, this isn't... Now Gracie's got a chainsaw! Unfortunately, this isn't going to be a podcast where we talk about the boys that we like,
Starting point is 00:20:59 so I think that you liking this is going to be tough. I need to type. I don't know. Have you seen Zac efron's new jaw oh my god oh yeah pretty cool i saw that so now who what family is that by the way what is that movie about what the the iron claw wrestling movie yeah so in texas there was a wrestling family called the von eric's and their dad was fritz von eric and he was the iron claw and that was like his finisher. He'd grab you.
Starting point is 00:21:25 He's very strong. Then in Dallas, he started this promotion. And all of his sons were pro wrestlers. And I think if you have some older family sort of like in this area and out in like the Dallas area and everything, you kind of ask them about like the Von Erichs and the Freebirds. That's that was like the big texas wrestling thing through like they like dq oh yeah that's what they liked about texas yeah um but that is what the movie's about and it's going to be uh it coming out around christmas is crazy because it's going to gut you yeah you don't have to answer this question, but I could glean from the mood of the trailer.
Starting point is 00:22:06 How many of these people die? You don't want me to answer that question. Okay. In a way, you have. Spoiler. Yeah. It is. Yeah, I thought the same thing, Jordan.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Yeah, 100%, right? Knowing nothing about it and seeing the trailer. Well, this is the feel-good movie of the holiday season. You didn't need the mood music and the dramatic lighting to know, this is a tragic family. Yeah, when... You can tell just by looking at them. There are moments in the trailer where you go,
Starting point is 00:22:38 that's right before that guy dies. And you can, oh, fuck. Like, if you know about these guys' lives or whatever, you just go, that's sad. I don't know if I can watch this. So, pretty exciting. Merry Christmas. You want to go to an advanced screening?
Starting point is 00:22:50 Yeah, absolutely. I'll go to an advanced screening of it. I'll get you in. Hell yeah, baby. Look at that. We're making connections. And with that, Jordan will read his haiku. You meant Jordan?
Starting point is 00:23:00 Oh. Oh. Can I come? Anyway. Oh. Can I come? Anyway. Oh. Okay. Sat warm by the fire. A knock on the cabin door.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Let the blizzard in. Oh! Beautiful. That was really nice. Wow. Should have been blizzards. Let the blizzards. Yeah, adding an S would not change how many syllables it wouldn't i'm just making sure are you yeah
Starting point is 00:23:29 because people i was counting on my fingers and because people online are like that's the wrong number of syllables they're very sometimes they're really added i've never gotten it wrong and if i did it was on purpose that's right and that's a haiku and if I did if you get if you get something wrong if you make a mistake I'll do this oh you can't hear that no there's absolutely nothing came through he'll do here's what
Starting point is 00:23:59 Michael will do nothing hang on wait let me see if it's in the audio hang on wait oh don't worry it's in the audio. Hang on. Wait. Uh-huh. Oh, don't worry. It's in the recording. Oh, good. Good. Great.
Starting point is 00:24:09 You'll find out. In about a week, I'm really excited to hear the thing that we all stat here for. I hope you found the toilet flushing. No. Well, I mean, I can find it, but to attach it would take forever. Can I guess? Is it the sound effect of... Is it that? No. But it's in the same vein it's the same intention is it wah wah wah wah no it's it's a it's a it's a character's voice. Oh is it banjo
Starting point is 00:24:41 and he goes whoa no it's Mario going o oof. Oh, that's pretty, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a classic Jordan move too. No! Oh, oh, oh, oh! That was pretty good. Let's learn about Dairy Queen because I think there's some good stuff in here.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Oh, thank you for coming. Yeah, yeah, thanks for having me. Listen, great job answering those trivia questions. I accidentally played the sample that was me talking to Jake from State Farm. Oh, my God. And so I was letting it play. He says to me, good job on answering those trivia questions. And I said, thank you.
Starting point is 00:25:15 But he wouldn't recognize me today. I'm a different man. Yeah. Gracie, if you're not aware that Michael is friends with Jake from State Farm. I've heard. Okay. From him, I think. From Jake. Yeah. Yeah, I can't tell you where I heard Jake from State Farm. I've heard. Okay. From him, I think. From Jake.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah. Yeah, I can't tell you where I heard it from. Excellent. The clues are in the commercials. I wrote those? The greatest duos trading cards have arrived at Tim's with two hockey icons on every card. Like Matthew and Brady Kachuk, rivals, teammates, family, and more. Connected like never before. Head to Tim's and get yours today at participating restaurants in Canada.
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Starting point is 00:26:32 Our previous Dairy Queen episode was released May 9th, 2022, where we ate the cheesy dude and steak fingers. It received an average score of 15. My God. We didn't like him. I have no memory of the cheesy dude. Me neither. It must have been terrible. I think I remember going to that
Starting point is 00:26:54 Dairy Queen, but I don't remember what we ate. Yeah. Now, remember, that was the game. That was all of it's just a weird trip, but Michael was the one who rated it lower than Jordan on this one. Yeah. It probably, you know, I probably was going on about how Dairy Queen sucks and it's overrated.
Starting point is 00:27:13 I'm sure. Yeah. It was, I think you were pretty upset about how uncheesy the cheesy dude was and how the steak fingers just weren't anything. If that happened, if the cheesy dude wasn't cheesy. Yeah. This tracks. Yeah. So average score 15. dude wasn't cheesy, yeah, this tracks. Yeah. So average score 15. Rough one. Rough outing. Alright. On our last
Starting point is 00:27:31 Dairy Queen episode, we introduced the world to Chipley. What is Chipley up to? Did he destroy Dennis the Menace? That was... At one point, I want to say that was that long ago, but also that was that recent. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? The Chipley stuff was- Fuck, Chipley!
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yeah. I was convinced Chipley was going to be the next thing to sweep the globe, like Bluey. Yeah. You thought Chipley was the new Bluey? Dude. Yeah. We botched that. Yeah, he just never came back.
Starting point is 00:28:01 No, I think what happened is that precocious, rambunctious children are not in vogue anymore. And so Chipley never really had a chance. You know, if it was 82, I think that Chipley would have had like some real... 1882? If it was 1882, boy, bruv! And then it's Chipley. Can we reimagine Chipley now now as a little cockney boy yeah he's a little street urchin maybe he won't on the right on the the turn of the industrial
Starting point is 00:28:36 revolution he's got he's got like coal smudges all over his face he wears a little hat it's got like a hole in it that's been patched but then he has like a little dog the dog also wears the hat like the same kind of hat with the hole in it um they're on the streets of merry old england it this all makes sense that's cool i think it's what chipley could be up to a little time travel kind of situation oh, guys, guys. The input sensitivity was too high. Oh, that's what happened. Check it.
Starting point is 00:29:13 No? Damn. Absolutely nothing. Wait, how about this? Okay. Let me change this. See if this breaks everything. No, don't do it.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Did that break everything? Does it sound weird? We hear you. What about that? Alright, I'm done. Too much work. Back to the car. Alright. In June of last year,
Starting point is 00:29:40 Dairy Queen lost a lawsuit against WB Mason Co. Period. For their use of the term blizzard on bottle water. Bottle water. Bottle water. On bottle water.
Starting point is 00:29:53 A judge found that bottled water. Now we've put the D in place. And ice cream treats are not competitors. And no consumer would be reasonably confused when seeing the two items. Oh, yeah? Then why did I hold my bottle water upside down and it went everywhere? Checkmate, judge. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Mm-hmm. Isn't that what Gracie did? When you got your ice cream today, did they hold it upside down? No, they didn't offer and I didn't ask. They did mine. Really? Who but WB Mason? Is that what the fuck that you just wrote?
Starting point is 00:30:32 That's what their logo is or their slogan. Slogan. Shouldn't help them. Do you think that any of us know what WB Mason is? No. Yeah, maybe. No, I have no idea. I just realized you guys don't watch the Phillies.
Starting point is 00:30:49 No. Absolutely not. There you have it. He's confident about what their slogan is, but he can't tell you what Texas Toast is. No, he can tell you what Texas Toast is, but if you ask a clarifying question, it all falls apart no there's okay um
Starting point is 00:31:08 when I got our ice creams Jordan the guy held them upside down and tried to hand them to me and I went do you upside down he well he he went I turned upside down and he turned another one upside down and they went to hand them to me and i grabbed them and i went do you have like a holder or something and he went right because right you have four and i went right so i had to hand them back to him i should have turned them upside down i should have fucking turned them upside down and he just went do you want lids and i said yeah see, I didn't get lids. Hang on. Hang on. He put lids on the first two. And the little door is closed. So he can't hear me. I can see him.
Starting point is 00:31:51 He can see me, whatever. He's not doing this for me. Just letting you know. He puts lids on the first two. And then the two he hasn't flipped over yet. He's not looking at me or anything. He picks one up and he turns it upside down. He puts it back.
Starting point is 00:32:05 And then he puts a lid on it yeah the chat hit it to the last one and put the lid on it again not for me just for himself and he went okay and then what do you think they're telling him that's how he checks they're probably like if you don't flip flip this, and somebody comes back and finds out you hadn't flipped this, it's like selling liquor to someone underage. You think that's what it's like? At Dairy Queen, yeah, dude. A Texas institution like that? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:32:36 If you don't flip it, it's not a blizzard. Hey, let's hear that sample. I'm talking to the listeners now. No, I'm done trying to get it for you guys guys to hear but i'm still gonna play them it's just gonna be this is just a sample heavy episode of face jam nick made his own samples just a bunch of copyrighted soundboard yeah what do you want yeah what do you want him to do? Alright, here we go. What I want is I'm going to read this next fact.
Starting point is 00:33:10 In June of this year, that's 2023, Mall of America sued its only Dairy Queen store for $75,000 in unpaid rent, causing the store to shutter. That's all it took? Now that there's space, please welcome our new concept Face Jam store
Starting point is 00:33:26 where we just have a space in the mall, don't pay for it, and leave consequence free. I think we should just have a store in the Mall of America. They're not using it. They're out $75,000. Why not just let us be? Squatter's rights, you know? If we just start taking up that space,
Starting point is 00:33:41 the monkey can just stay there. Now, here's the thing. You're assuming they left. When it says shuddered, do we know they weren't just shivering? You know, I assume they weren't just shivering as they were daring. Thank you, Nick. Thank you. Nick did it again.
Starting point is 00:33:57 He's a soundboard, but also he acted it out. And now his head is in his hands. He shuddered like Dairy Queen hands he shuddered like dairy queen he shuddered to think oh dude we're talking about big ken paxton all right final fact know it let's do it final fact uh not guilty dodged it all texas attorney general ken paxton who has been facing trials and impeachment for like a decade now, received 100,000 shares of stock from the CEO of
Starting point is 00:34:29 Servergy, a McKinney-based software company that courted Paxton as a partner. The CEO says that, quote, God had directed him, end quote, at a Dairy Queen to give Paxton the stock, but it came out that the stock was not a gift,
Starting point is 00:34:45 but was instead for services. If God ever directs you to do anything, hopefully it's to give money to FaceJam because you can't impeach us. We're a podcast and we want to be rich, but also you can't impeach him either. That's right. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:00 You can try. Consider this. You can try, motherfucker. You can impeach Ken Paxton. Everyone can agree that they should do it, and then they go ahead and do it, and then when it comes time to do it, they decide not to do it.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Not feeling it. Yeah, I was thinking about impeaching Ken Paxton, and then the vote came, and then God directed me at a Dairy Queen not to impeach Ken Paxton. Do you think he was at the Dairy Queen with Ken Paxton when God directed him? Or he was there by himself? I think that's exactly what happened.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Yes. I thought maybe he was by himself at Dairy Queen and God directed him. And that was just like the place where he was God's vessel. I don't think they were together. Ken was over in the corner enjoying his own blizzard. I don't think they were together. Ken was over in the corner enjoying his own blizzard. And Mr. Servergy was just getting his own little spicy chicken sandwich.
Starting point is 00:35:54 And then saw Ken over there. And maybe there was just a heavenly light on him. Yeah, I think the heavenly body flew through him and guided him towards KP. I'm a really big fan of doing underhanded stuff with a government official and then going, yeah, I mean, just God said that I should be doing this. Yeah, what an alibi. Yeah, that's, Gracie made a hell of a noise. I just, I had a hiccup while I was laughing. I've had hiccups for a minute now,
Starting point is 00:36:27 but that one came out mid-laugh. Oh. Good. Okay. Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I'll be back in a minute. I have to hold my breath for a minute. All right, Gracie has to leave.
Starting point is 00:36:42 I'll be back. Now she's holding her breath. She's not going anywhere. She's holding her breath and timing it. And was that a TV controller? Was she watching TV? Oh, it's her phone. She's timing it. Alright, Gracie, this should scare you. This new soundboard. Okay, here
Starting point is 00:36:55 comes the new soundboard. Nick scared himself. That wasn't me. That was Nick. If you thought that one was scary, get a load of this one. Oh, my God. I'm done with the facts, by the way. That was the last one. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I don't know if we're killing time for something, but I'm done talking. No, no. We're doing just filler. If we can move on to the next joke or something oh my god well just hey hey don't worry we're on the bottom of the first page this is probably the longest fact sheet we've ever had what is there a lot to read should i get to reading oh the descriptions for these foods for some reason are three paragraphs long. Oh, I love it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:46 All right. Candy cane chill blizzard. It's undeniable. Chocolate and peppermint are perfect pair, especially in December. Is that? Hang on. Is that undeniable, Michael?
Starting point is 00:38:01 A perfect pair, chocolate and peppermint? Look, they pair well. I mean, pair, chocolate and peppermint? Look, they pair well. I mean, I don't like peppermint. So, I mean, you know, it's a rigged question. Like these elections. Exactly. I'm glad you picked up what Jordan was putting down. There's no tastier or festive match.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Add our cold, creamy soft serve to the mix and you've got the seasonally sensational Candy Cane Chill Blizzard Treat. Fans wait all year for this flavor profile to return. Not the first time we've heard that. Uh-huh. Flavor profile. Packed with candy cane pieces and choco chunks,
Starting point is 00:38:45 this blizzard treat is a holiday must-have. The candy cane pieces deliver that classic cool peppermint taste, while the rich choco chunks ramp up the sweetness. If you find yourself ordering this treat over and over again this December, we won't blame you. Ready to get your holiday sweeteners on? Hurry! This popular blizzard treat is only
Starting point is 00:39:05 here for the month. Hopefully by the time I finish reading this, it'll still be around. We recommend getting down to your local DQ registered trademark restaurant ASAP. Tis the season for treating yourself, so remember to sign up for DQ rewards. You'll earn points you
Starting point is 00:39:21 can redeem for delicious treats. Believe it or not, that's the end of it. We did it. Oh, there's a ghost behind Nick. Oh, it's just a child. It's the ghost of eating a cheeseburger about an hour ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:37 He had a little blanket over his head. I didn't know what was going on. Gracie, did that scare the hiccups out of you? It sure did. It was Nick's plan. He had to mute himself. See, Nick does this. This is why working from home.
Starting point is 00:39:54 This is why we have to be back in the office five days a week. This is why some of us have to be back in the office. I see two people who need to be back in the office. Two people who can't be trusted. Working from home. One person is dealing with their child. Say three. Send me home too.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Send me back to work. Send me home. Send me home to the office. Oh, man. All right. Frosted sugar cookie blizzard. The beginnings of the cookie exchange are hotly debated. What is going on?
Starting point is 00:40:31 What? What is going on? I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. The beginnings of the cookie exchange are hotly debated. Some say it's for economic purposes. Others say it was... Never mind. Some say it dates for economic purposes. Others say it was... Never mind.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Some say it dates back to medieval times, while others claim it first occurred in the 1800s. What the fuck are they talking about? This is, again, for a Dairy Queen ice cream. We're not here to set history straight, but simply to offer a delicious twist on this time-honored tradition. The Frosted Cookie Cookie... The frosted cookie cookie. The frosted sugar cookie.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Blizzard treat. It just kept going. The normal way to say it. You said one word like seven times. Blizzard treat. Man. Camera. TV.
Starting point is 00:41:19 What were the first two words you said? After hundreds of years, aren't we due for a shake-up? What? Made by combining soft sugar cookie pieces, sweet icing. I knew icing was in there. And festive sprinkles with our world-famous soft serve. This Blizzard treat draws on one of the holiday's most popular cookies. No wonder it became an instant fan favorite launching in 2022.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Delight friends and family this season. Pick up the Frosted Sugar Cookie Blizzard Treats on your way to the exchange. What? The event will never be the same. I forgot. It will go down in history as providing the delicious catalyst. Order online. You can't.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Or on the DQ app. You also can't. And your Blizzard Treats will be waiting when you arrive. Happy holidays. No, Jordan, don't finish it or the spell is complete you don't just find something in a book and start reading it and and light the black candle no it's okay it's okay you have to be a virgin as well as someone who loves being the delicious catalyst to changes in history, the Frosted Sugar Cookie Cookie Sugar Cookie
Starting point is 00:42:27 Blizzard Treat is definitely one for the ages. Holy moly. Why are they so long? What are they talking about? These were taken from their official website. This isn't from
Starting point is 00:42:43 a press release. Nick. He doesn't from a press release. Nick. He doesn't like it. I feel like these things are always either it's some young up-and-comer who cares too much about their job, doing too much, or somebody who couldn't care less.
Starting point is 00:43:00 It's cool. It's like a dichotomy of me and Gracie. Who's who? It's really something. If you're playing sound- Oh, I hear it. Oh, can you hear it? I got it. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Great. It was the noise suppression Discord had turned on. Oh! It was suppressing me. I thought that's what you turned off earlier. Hang on. Yeah. All right, Nick, now you do it.
Starting point is 00:43:30 That was pretty good. It is pretty good, actually. Can you do the Mario one? Wow, that's pretty good, too. Hang on. I got an alternate. What else do you have on there? No, thanks
Starting point is 00:44:03 Sorry, I got this wait rain or shine you're going down. It's Resident Evil 4. That's pretty good No, thanks Rain or shine you're going down. It's Resident Evil 4. That's pretty good. That's pretty good I got I got I got Jackie That's just a friend of ours She's getting grabbed in fall guys That's like three years old. That's awesome. FaceJam has to pay her $20,000 now. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:44:34 We might have to bleep that out. We might have to bleep that out. Oh, no. Never mind. Let's just read this then. Okay. I was doing stuff like this earlier too. Oh, that's what was going on.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Okay. That's what was going on. Okay. That's what was going on. Okay, cool. Go ahead. Who was that guy? We know our fans love fall. Whether it's digging into a delicious treat from our fall Blizzard treat menu or breaking out their fall fashions, said Maria Hawkinson,
Starting point is 00:44:59 Executive Vice President, Marketing at ADQ. Our Blizzard beanies will give fans the chance to do both and celebrate the very best of the season with a beanie on their heads and a matching cozy Blizzard treat in their hands. No press release for the food, so here's one for clothes Rocco would buy. It's true.
Starting point is 00:45:23 I could picture Rocco wearing a dq blizzard beanie right it just it really just makes sense uh when they said blizzard meanings i thought they were talking about like beanie babies that's what you would think but uh but no it's 2023 so they were talking about hats to wear just like toques or whatever the other word is for it. We're in America. Toque is Canadian. Toque is Canadian. It's true.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Hey, do you guys know who Kerwin Frost is? Sounds like a bad guy. Does he fight Jack Frost? Yeah, he fights Jack Frost. That's what I'm getting at. Is he a Spider-Man? Hang on. What are we looking at here?
Starting point is 00:46:02 Yeah, it's... Okay. Oh, excellent. Who is this man? You told me you we looking at here? Yeah, it's... Okay. Oh, excellent. Who is this man? You told me you knew who this was. Wonderful. Yeah, I was Googling him as I said that. And then...
Starting point is 00:46:13 What is this box of wonders? Hey, there's a Lil' McNugget in everyone. There's a new Kerwin Frost box coming to McDonald's on December 11th. I don't know who this is. The Kerwin Frost box includes a choice of 10-piece McNuggets or a Big Mac, fries, a drink, and a special McNugget buddy collectible. You can get Kerwin Frost, Don Bernice, Uptown Moe, to go don bernice uptown mo what is happening wafu to what the brick the cool guy yeah oh that's me and darla that's that's jordan that's gracie there you go
Starting point is 00:46:56 i think i think i'm wafu to the curious optimist, right? I'm probably Uptown Moe. I think Nick is Kerwin Frost, the mayor of Frostway. Who's Jordan? I guess I only leave him with one. John Bernice. I'm the cool guy. Jordan's the, you're what? Yeah, he's Brick. Oh, you're Brick.
Starting point is 00:47:24 The most adventurous? Well, yeah, but here's the... You're what? Yeah, he's Brick. Oh, you're Brick. The most adventurous? Well, yeah, but here's the thing. He's low-key nervous, but always cool under pressure. And that is classically Jordan. He also speaks in puns, loves trying new things,
Starting point is 00:47:38 and techno music. Why do they have so much backstory? Because they've been around since 1988, jordan they've been around since before you were alive i guess it's these things yeah it's a little it's the little nugget guys or whatever right but what's with the guy in the middle that's him that's kirwin frost right i guess that's my question he looks like a little grandma who is a very large Wait, a grandma or your grandma? A grandma. Oh, okay. Hang on, we're getting a look.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Whoa. Okay, that one's just Rick from Rick and Morty. It is kind of Rick and Morty. This one's got to be Kerwin Frost. I bet this, do you think this one's Brick? Like the guy in the bottom left? Yeah, probably. I mean, cool guy when you're like four years old and a chicken nugget.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah. That's probably what he looks like. Cool guys have hats. I know. I don't know. I think top middle might be cool guy. You think so? That's tough.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Tell me about his name being Burrick. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. He's blown out audio. I'm just going to tweet this from the FaceJam account right now. Yo. This rules. Look at his shoes.
Starting point is 00:48:50 This is awesome. Oh my God. He's like an amiibo. Look at him. Yeah, he is. He's very amiibo-like. He's an amiibo. This is Kerwin Frost, baby.
Starting point is 00:48:58 This is great. Yeah, she's probably right. Brick is probably the cold guy. I think so, too. He might be. I think that's pretty cool. That's right. There's only one way to find out well that happened a lot i don't know that we learned much but we learned a lot while we're on the subject of mcdonald's uh have you heard about this new spinoff restaurant they're doing yeah so it's uh it seems didn't we say that like two years ago
Starting point is 00:49:22 that they should do that with like breakfast or something and i think that's what it is. Didn't we say that like two years ago? That they should do that with like breakfast or something? And I think that's what it is. I think it's their McCafe stuff. It's called Cosmix. Yeah. Let's go. Okay. It's apparently a playoff of like one of their old little characters. A little alien space faring guy.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Yeah, Brick. Yeah. His name is just Cosmic. Cosmic of Waverly Place. But it's in Bolingbrook, Illinois. So I wanted to go. I was starting to put together like, okay, when is this going to open?
Starting point is 00:49:56 We should go. It's a drive-thru thing. There's like no real inside. The whole concept is to get you through... There's, like, four drive-thru lanes. Yep. Oh, we'll get it.
Starting point is 00:50:08 We'll rent a car. We'll rent a car. He got it. Problem solved. Oh, wow. Way to solve the problem. Right. The problem...
Starting point is 00:50:16 The problem that I was having was, guys, how are we going to get this food? Yeah, you can't walk... That was the issue. Can't walk through a drive-thru. Safety hazard. They won't serve you. It's safety.
Starting point is 00:50:28 He's right. But that is, it's opening. I just don't know anything about it other than it's this guy. Why would you name it after that guy? I don't know. It's a testament to their ability to keep a secret, I think.
Starting point is 00:50:43 A company as large as McDonald's can be plotting something like this and building something and nobody knows anything about it. That's crazy. And it can only be disappointing at this point. Oh, it's gonna suck. Crazy put just Cosmic in
Starting point is 00:51:00 the Discord. I mean, I guess that's those are three hands right okay he's like a little shrimp guy with legs he does look like a space shrimp yeah a little space shrimp classic
Starting point is 00:51:21 bug trying to get eaten by face jam he's trying all bugs want is to get eaten by Face Jam. He's trying. It's all bugs want is to be eaten by us. People keep putting bugs out in like, hey, we got these leftover snacks. It's some bugs. Maybe the Face Jam guys want it. You can tell they don't listen to the show. You can tell.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Yeah. Guys, cook it. So we win. Yeah. We did it. We won. So that's all the press material, and that's it. Now we just have to review the food.
Starting point is 00:51:46 What do you think? What do you think of your ice cream? It's not even food. What do you mean? I mean, it's ice cream, man. The peppermint sucks. Not only that, it's Dairy Queen ice cream, which is like their quote-unquote signature soft serve.
Starting point is 00:51:59 You mean the ice cream that tastes like nothing? Whoa. Really? Their soft serve really does. It tastes like ice cream. You also can't see it, but Jordan's hands are on his head and he's leaning back just a little bit
Starting point is 00:52:09 when he says that. Like, he's like getting them. Fucking get real. Hold on, I'm going to put my legs up on my desk. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I'll start doing pushups.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Yeah, that's cool. And then Gracie will start kicking her feet in the air the way she was doing earlier. This is going to be so worse. Oh, man. So, Jordan, what do you think? What's your kind of thought on the sugar cookie one and the peppermint one?
Starting point is 00:52:37 I'll let Michael tear apart the peppermint one. Okay. You want me to go first? No, I just want to touch it the thing i'll say about that one though is the uh they sure did smash those candy canes into tiny pieces i felt like i was gonna get stabbed uh as i was eating it um had a lot of shards in that um the other one was better because i don't i also don't like mint, but almost a little too sweet. I don't think they needed to put icing in it.
Starting point is 00:53:08 I think that was probably a line too far. I think just the regular cookie bits and some fun sprinkles. They could have used more sprinkles, to be honest, would have sufficed. My problem with most Blizzards is that you only get it in the top half and then the rest of it is just that flavorless ice cream and so it's not very it's not very fun when you get through all the good parts so you eat through it and then and then you're done and you just got flavorless ice cream so and and that's it that's all ate. That was to be reviewed in classic Dairy Queen fashion. I'm gonna give it.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Let me give it a 30. Okay. Okay. A 30. Michael thoughts. Don't put mints in my ice cream. Get your plants out of here. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:03 You can't disguise them. I don't need to brush my teeth right now i'm eating ice cream okay i don't know why they make toothpaste that's mint flavored yuck that's it i so so as i mentioned earlier i got two i got two of each to give my kids them and then i accidentally gave them both the peppermint i thought i gave one of them the sugar cookie so i was eating both sugar cookies i realized this when got the peppermint and immediately it was i was blasted when i took a bite i was like oh god i couldn't even imagine i took like two or three bites just for good measure but i just i'm not i
Starting point is 00:54:43 don't want i don't like mint but if i'm ever gonna do mint it's just mint like mint gum like i want mint and nothing else i can't stand mint in other food i don't want mint in something that's already a food that i'm already eating okay um but i knew that going in so i'm gonna kind of ignore that one really because it would be like a one i'm just gonna i'm just gonna let it ride with the other one. I'm just going to let it ride with the other one, because like Jordan said, it was better, but not by much. I don't think they're going to walk away
Starting point is 00:55:12 with a 15 today, because we didn't eat their food. Although, surprisingly, the spicy chicken may be the best thing I've ever had of Dairy Queen's. Not to say it was amazing, but I don't remember the steak fingers
Starting point is 00:55:26 and the cheesy dude that wasn't that cheesy, but this has to have been better, so I'm glad Nick didn't get it. Nick is so fucking mad. Nick is so upset. He can go back. Call those friends.
Starting point is 00:55:39 It was weird. They gave him a 555. This isn't working. So I'm going to say, you know, it's ice cream. It's fine. That's not very good. 25. 25.
Starting point is 00:55:54 25. 27.5 is the average score. I will defend the mint one. I thought the mint one. You will try. I thought the mint one was way better than the sugar cookie. I thought the sugar cookie one lacked a lot. Wrong.
Starting point is 00:56:11 It was not... For something that was supposed to be sweet and cookie and whatever, I don't think that it did any of that stuff super well. The icing was the only thing that kind of came through. The cookie was too soft and just sort of like like there wasn't anything to like stand up there i like the peppermint one way better i like mint ice cream i don't have a problem with it it's my wife's favorite that's that's why you don't get a rating my exactly my wife will get mint ice cream but like not
Starting point is 00:56:42 chocolate mint just if it's just mint uh-huh she'll just eat that freak mode and then when does it make its way to the back of your car that's apparently some coffee that somebody else spilt um that the mint i think is a stronger thing than that sugar cookie it's just just not... It's definitely stronger. It just didn't do anything for me, the sugar cookie. At all. Yeah, as you may have gleaned from our reviews, neither one was good.
Starting point is 00:57:13 No, it was really a bummer. I thought one of these would be strong. Also, it's December. Not exactly an ice cream time. To do something... To do two holiday blizzards It's December. Yeah. Not exactly an ice cream time. To do something, to do two holiday blizzards when half of the country is like getting snowed on is, I just think it's crazy. I think it's nuts. Let me ask you this then.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Yeah. Why didn't we do Wendy's? Yeah. Because we did blizzards. Right, but you just said it makes no sense. Okay, well, Gracie wanted Wendy's. Because we did blizzards. Right, but you just said it makes no sense. Okay, well, Gracie wanted Wendy's. Whoa, whoa. Jordan clearly wanted the blizzards, and Eric
Starting point is 00:57:54 went along with it, and dreams were shattered. And now we're saying, why did we do cold stuff? Well, there was a piping hot Wendy's pretzel Baconator waiting. And Jordan looked down and said, no. The blizzards will be better to eat on a day like this when we're doing it at 4 p.m. at home.
Starting point is 00:58:16 And the Wendy's will be better to do next time when we're all back together and we can enjoy it in each other's company. I think next time we got to do IHOP. I think, I think next time. So it will be better next time when we eat IHOP all together. No way. What? Nick just sent me a picture of him and his friends at lunch.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Are you? No, he didn't. I just put it in the discord. Wait a second! What the fuck is this? Just a couple of good friends having Wendy's pretzel Baconators for lunch.
Starting point is 00:58:58 I don't understand how there's so much betrayal. I guess it's the thing that I'm concerned with. Let me point this out. This isn't betrayal. I don't work for you. This is called going rogue. He's like Ethan Hunt just not following orders. Just to clarify,
Starting point is 00:59:15 Eric, there will be a first video coming out the day after the mukbang. And it's three good friends meeting up against all odds and having you pay for their lunches. With that card I dusted off. Just under $50, which is great because they didn't give us a receipt. And we just had a good old time enjoying friendships, camaraderie, being in the podcast room together,
Starting point is 00:59:46 riding together, paying for Gracie's gas. What? It's all good things. And so if you are listening to this audience and hoping, wow, I wish they had done the Wendy's, then wish no more, unlike that Disney movie. We're going to grant it. Did you rate the Wendy's Baconator?
Starting point is 01:00:11 I mean, we said good or not good. In the video? Okay. Yeah. All right. Oh, it's a whole thing. I got to watch the fucking video. You do. You got to watch this one too
Starting point is 01:00:22 because all those crazy sound effects I had early on. But then, because you got to just see the ones that you missed and it'll be so much more nuanced like the ice cream should have been but then you can watch our 35 minute adventure oh my god 35
Starting point is 01:00:39 minutes what are you you always say just let it ride just let it ride we had to let it ride. Just let it ride. Yeah, just let it ride. 35. We had to let it ride, dude. We're having a really good time. It was a lot of fun. Nobody there was being grouchy at all.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Mm-mm. It was just such a good time. Come back, get a nice full lunch. Come back for my nice full lunch. Sit down and Eric's screaming about something. And I thought, good thing we went without him. It would have ruined... It would have just ruined the vibe.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Jordan, I knew you couldn't go anyway. I didn't tell you just so I thought, good thing we went without him. It would have ruined the vibe. Jordan, I knew you couldn't go anyway. I didn't tell you just so I thought maybe you could join in the fun of Eric's surprise. But if you want to go next week, we'll go again. Yeah. Maybe they'll give me chicken this time. Oh. Did they not do chicken?
Starting point is 01:01:20 Oh my God, there's so much in this video. There's so much in there, but Gracie tries to get chicken. Okay. I'm just gonna say. Okay. And it didn't go as planned. That's very exciting. We learned a lot about each other and a lot about Wendy's. You'll have to watch to find out.
Starting point is 01:01:37 But no. No. If you want to watch this video, you go to facejampod.com slash first and sign up. And then you go to facejampod.com slash first and sign up. And then you go to facejampod.com. And then you can watch all this stuff. So this is a twofer.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Yeah. Usually we do ride along. Yep. And we couldn't do that today. So we just ate the ice cream beforehand. You're getting two first videos from this Face Jam today. I know. They kind of got a ride along too.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Yeah. It's content overload. Oh, you got the ride there and back along. You got the whole ride even except for that one part mysteriously when it cuts
Starting point is 01:02:08 for three seconds because mysteriously part of the video went missing I'm so excited to hear about what happened to make the video
Starting point is 01:02:18 go missing there's a point where Gracie's driving and she just keeps going 10 and 2 10 and 2 eyes on the road and then it cuts for some reason and it cuts back and just keeps going 10 and 2, 10 and 2, eyes on the road. And then it
Starting point is 01:02:25 cuts for some reason and it cuts back and she's going 10 and 2 just like always. And it's fine. Jesus Christ. All laws were followed. Of course. Absolutely. Well, let's just get down to some business and we can wrap this thing up since you guys already
Starting point is 01:02:41 did your own snack. Go to hell. It was a full-blown lunch. It was a $44 excursion. Oh my god. To Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Don't forget Face Jam comes out Tuesday and then Ride Along
Starting point is 01:03:00 comes out right after that on Wednesday and then also on Thursday there will be a video where 35 minutes long of these fucks eating Wendy's. You got a face cam? You talking about the pretzel posse? Uh-huh. What?
Starting point is 01:03:13 Pretzel posse. Memories were made. Times were had. Oh my God. Hey. Alliances were formed. I think we're going to try to watch Ambulance on the 8th. So become a first member and watch along with us.
Starting point is 01:03:28 And go to ShoulderMonkey.plush, which takes you over to Store.RoosterTeeth.com. ShoulderMonkey.plush? I'm sorry, ShoulderMonkey.shop. Nick, edit that. What the hell are you talking about? That's the second time you did that. That's true. Nick, go to ShoulderMonkey.shop, and it'll take you to store.roosterteeth.com
Starting point is 01:03:46 and then you can order your Face Jam stuff. You got monkey mouse stuff and pins and shoulder magnet, which might be gone and all kinds of stuff. You should also try the pretzel baconator. Yeah. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Well, you can follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date with everything and Spittin' Silly will be out next week. I think it's a, after I was betrayed this week, I think the only one we have left is a food court. Is that right, Nick? You got it. Great.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Yeah. We all got doubles this time. We all got doubles. We decided. So you can send in your food conundrums to Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com and we'll answer them on Spittin' Silly when we do food courts. So there's a lot coming in the new year for Face Jam.
Starting point is 01:04:27 This is, I think, I'll say, this is maybe the best that Face Jam has ever been. This, I... In the new year that we haven't had yet or this now? Like rounding out this year. No, right now. Yeah, Gracie's moment. Gracie's yawning, but I really do think...
Starting point is 01:04:43 Yeah, Gracie's yawning. And also, do you remember how this episode started this is the best it's ever been did you hear me read the press material this episode when I was talking about setting up GTA things to do's at the beginning of the podcast
Starting point is 01:04:58 that's the best it's ever been this episode not withstanding three episodes ago at this point Face Jam I feel like has been on fire it's been been. This episode not with standing. That felt like three episodes ago at this point. FaceJam I feel like has been on fire. It's been really really fun and I'm really excited to be filming
Starting point is 01:05:10 stuff with you guys coming up. I think we have some new ideas to try some new stuff out and we're actually going to be able to do it. Dude.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Gracie had a couple ideas today too that were pretty good actually. Oh yeah? Really good idea. Holy shit. Nick said he's got to
Starting point is 01:05:24 bleep it out so you don't hear it in the video what the fuck she's on a roll great roll great uh all right jordan take us out get us out of here good hire anyone else have any last thoughts excellent rate and subscribe tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food go get some spicy chicken it was the same guy had more thoughts
Starting point is 01:05:51 the same thought Christ he wants to go get dinner with his friends now yeah cool look I went along with him for the bit He wants to go get dinner with his friends now. Yeah, cool. No. Look, I went along with him for the bit. Don't call me your very good friend.
Starting point is 01:06:10 No! Oh, my God.

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