100% Eat - Denny's My Hammy Spice Sandwich
Episode Date: January 17, 2023In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Denny's My Hammy Spice Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about house votes, whatever happened to that waiter who... got that tip, no one eating at Denny's, our friend Armando, and more. Head to store.roosterteeth.com to check out our Face Jam goods. That monkey is adorable. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/facejam21 and use code facejam21 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
DQ presents how to officially start your summer. Step one, head to DQ. Step two, try the new summer
blizzard menu. And step three, dig into new peanut butter cookie dough party, new picnic peach
cobbler, and more. Make it official only at DQ. Happy tastes good. This is a Rooster Teeth production. welcome to face jam the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know
if you need it you probably do i'm your host michael jones alongside my co-, alongside my I butchered that one.
Fell apart in the end. Hi, I'm Michael Jones.
Jordan's with me. Hi, Jordan.
Hi, it's me. I'm here. I'm fine.
How are you? You were sounding like the
let's get ready to rumble guy. A little bit.
Oh, that's cool. You can't say that though, right?
It's bringing a good energy. Is that trademarked?
Oh, do you not? Yeah, like Michael Buffer
costs like a hundred. You can't say that.
I can't say Michael Buffer. Michael B-word. You can't say his name. Michael B-word. Is he. Like Michael Buffer costs like a hundred. You can't say that. I can't say Michael Buffer?
Michael B word.
You can't say his name.
Michael B word.
Is he one of the Buffer brothers?
Mike, get ready to rumble!
Like that?
This is where it becomes a problem
because I'm pretty sure that copyright
or trademark applies to how you say it.
That's why I said it so legally distinct.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know that it's his brother.
It might be his cousin
is the guy who does the UFC announcements.
And they both work on Stranger Things?
What the fuck?
Is that the name of the guys from Stranger Things?
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't watch Stranger Things.
I think a lot of people
that do watch Stranger Things
still don't know that.
That's the show with the Pop-Tarts?
What is the kitty?
Yeah.
He eats Pop-Tarts.
No, he eats the dice, doesn't he?
He eats dice?
They eat the little figures?
They eat the dungeon dice figures.
Oh.
No, that's Dungeon Dice Monsters.
Oh.
You're talking about Duke Devlin.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I think I know what this is now.
This is Space Jam.
Oh, right.
The food podcast where we-
Where we talk about Para and Doc and solving the rules to escape the maze.
Well, you have to you have to beat them in a duel in a maze today.
We're reviewing the maze.
That was Denny's.
My hammy spice sandwich.
I didn't understand the name until this morning when I was filling the sheet out. And it was like, oh, it's it's a bit of a reach.
Yeah, it's why it's 2023.
So I didn't really connect.
It's building on the moons over Miami joke, I guess.
But then it's been a staple of Denny's for too long.
Yeah.
And yeah, it's, it's just like
too many layers
at this point.
And then Miami Vice,
which is just another
like not relevant
thing.
It's also,
it's a lot of layers
for Denny's.
Yes.
Who no one cares about
and is looking at.
Yeah.
You know,
like Denny's is coming out
with layers like an onion.
You think Denny's
is a glass onion?
It's a real glass onion feel like they they're not
and they should stop trying to be they're they're just a regular i was really in breathing that meal
ah you've seen it yes we talked about it's been what four episodes running
it's probably weaved its way through this and spit and silly yeah i can't imagine it has because we talked about renner and i didn't get the
renner reference until i watched i the moment like he like there's the insert shot yeah i go
got it yeah i don't even remember the i just remember the first thing we talked about was
like getting something spoiled like last christmas we were talking about last christmas and it's in
the title.
Yes. You can figure it out.
And Glass Onion very similarly.
You were like,
I want you to remember this conversation
when you watch Glass Onion.
When it's just like,
oh, I've solved it.
Yeah.
And he's going,
I gotta say,
bold move on the part of a mystery story
to go with the most obvious outcome.
I guess spoilers for Glass Onion, but also it's a Netflix movie
so you should not care about this.
Well, okay.
Alright. Siskel and Ebert.
Siskel and Ebert.
I'm Roper.
And he's Statler
and Walt D'Arf.
Whoa!
Boo!
That's pretty good. No, I i don't know i kind of liked it
yep yep it's it's a movie that gives you no reason to re-watch it and is just so like the
solved mystery is like he just keeps going this is fucking stupid dude the character in the movie
is going this is fucking i mean let me i i've said this i've said this before and i truly believe
that this could work and would be accepted okay i i like the movie it's very stupid it's wild
that it's a sequel to the first one it's just so tonally different yeah but like you said the the biggest thing that's the same is is you know daniel craig's character and it's like it's
not that his character is different it's just that even him saying this is so stupid yeah it's like
the character from the first movie would not put up with this no it's just so silly it's so silly i wouldn't it's very silly it's much
sillier i knew i was fucking in for it when they showed him in the bath playing a playing a month
and i just went that's how it like opens up he's in the bathtub playing among us and he's like i've
solved it i think we got but we got 30 minutes in and my wife went do you think this becomes
charming at any point because Because this is rough.
I think,
I think what it did was like,
take the caricature of,
of the cast a little too far.
Like they became,
they became two parody.
Here's what you do.
So there's already a third one.
There's a third one coming out.
Okay.
We know that.
How do you,
how do you fix it?
Simple.
In the most infuriating way,
but I don't think ever done across movies the third one opens
up he goes oh what a weird dream yes and you'd go dreams about a glass onion and an island that
was so weird dumbest man yeah yeah literally you go oh okay and then the third one is normal again
yes right and who would care no grants one. He's still got the movie.
He's like, sorry, I just realized like somebody said in Breatheate and it was like, that was in my dream.
The my problem with the movie is that it's not fun until about 50 minutes in.
And before that, it's not as charming as it thinks it is.
Catherine Han is in that movie and has nothing to do.
Yeah.
That is fucking crazy.
Kind of a waste of her, unfortunately.
It is like...
Yeah, she's kind of just chilling.
It's like, here are some people.
And Kate Hudson!
And it's like, oh, okay.
But she's like anti-vax.
She is, man.
I feel like the first movie...
Not Kate Hudson, the character.
I don't know about Kate Hudson.
She could be.
She keeps talking about Being a nepo baby
And how it's actually
Okay and good
It's pretty cool
I don't even know
Is that like a neopet
What is that
A neopet
Is that like a new Tamagotchi
Stacy did you have neopets
Did you have a nepo baby
Yeah
Tamagotchi
Tamagotchi
Neopets
Digimon
Neopet
Nepo babies
So
I'm gonna
We should
Million dollar idea Yeah That we can work on right now
No
Absolutely not
It's Denny's don't worry about it
It's a nepo baby Tamagotchi crossover
Where you gotta take care of your nepo baby
And you gotta make it become a star
It's very easy
Everything you need you already have
You have all the resources
At your fingertips you can do
whatever you want yeah but your parents are divorced oh yeah that's oh that's got you that
that was a real challenge and you have some deadbeat stepdad yeah and they're all who what's
his name russell yeah what's his name he only has two oscars yeah it was rough if your parents
aren't famous he always dressed up as snake plissken
every year now he dresses up like santa uh if your parents weren't famous movie stars they
were just entertainment lawyers and then now here you are and it's like stop stop coming out and
saying it's actually okay that it'd be an hippo baby and it's like it's just don't say anything
just don't say anything it's fine you don't have't help it. No, you can't help it.
You can't not be
born the way you're born.
You can just shut the hell up.
Shut up.
At no point are people
going to go, you're right.
I think that you're right about
this and it's good that you said that.
Say so much less.
It's bad. It's not good.
People know that like,
you know,
hey,
you only got hired at Denny's
because it's in the family.
Yep.
But we can't all be that.
I'm Denny Jr.
Getting our wieners sucked as a tip.
Okay.
That was Denny Jr. in the video?
Let me say this too.
We had our neighbor friend.
Our neighbor friend with us.
That's right. To fill in for Nick. neighbor friend with us that's right to fill in for nick
he came with us to denny's you may remember him from some unhinged ad read
and uh show yeah he got trucks he got real excited when we mentioned the denny's fact yep
looked it up and then started critiquing it was immediately was immediately like, this doesn't count. This poor guy. You call that a tip?
It was pretty good.
It was,
our friend Armando came
and he was pretty excited
to eat Denny's.
Yeah, apparently,
you know,
you come to Austin,
which is this food mecca.
So many interesting restaurants, local places.
And he went to Whataburger three times.
He had Chili's last night.
Yeah, and last week, he wormed his way on another shitty podcast I do.
And afterwards, went to fucking Waffle House.
He went to the Waffle House with Pasta Pete.
Like the chair throw one.
That's in Austin.
I didn't know that.
Is it the one over on 290?
I guess.
I don't know another one.
Yeah, that is.
Wow.
So they went over there with.
Did they see the chair catching lady?
No.
She got fired.
For catching a chair?
Well, probably for punching customers.
Hey, all I saw was her catching a chair.
You didn't watch the whole video.
It was filmed. She was punching customers and throwing plates and shit like everyone in that
store went berserk everyone in there so you can't punch people you can't get blow jobs yeah what can
you do what as a restaurant worker what can't your hands are tied behind your back they're like cops
well we did hang on how do you expect us to enforce restaurants?
We did see when we went into Denny's that they were hiring.
Yes.
Incredible benefits.
And I was like, incredible benefits.
And I was like, maybe they let you get a tip.
No.
We learned our lesson.
We'll let you get any tip a customer wants to give you.
I mean, with the sheer amount of people at the Denny's when we went to it,
you probably could have just gotten away with it.
It was one guy who sat us at the table, never to be seen again.
Yeah, where'd that guy go?
No idea.
He probably went in the back to cook our food.
The woman who served us, who came over, I mean, to ask us what we wanted,
to give us what we wanted, and then we had to go to her to pay.
And then there was no one else in your restaurant. Also there was someone
waiting forever at the front
and also you went up to
pay and it took like 10 minutes
and I don't know why. She just went
computer and I went
what? Computer but also
you are walking around doing
chores. I thought
maybe she thought I was there for like a DoorDash thing.
And I went, you just served me food.
I don't know what happened.
She doesn't remember that.
No, let me, let me pay you, please.
She certainly didn't remember the big man who came in with us.
She was one level.
He was going to wedge himself into the booth.
She was one to two levels shy of being like pissed off.
Yes.
Yeah.
She wasn't there.
Nuh-uh.
She wasn't there.
But she was close.
There wasn't enough happening
for her to be pissed no but she was ready
we were prepared we had our order
ready she was like are you guys ready to order
and we're like do you want your drinks
and like the way she said it was like
she's about to get pissed it was scurrying
she was thinking about getting mad
so then Eric was like we're gonna order now
yeah I don't think because of us I think it was an unrelated incident
but it could have gotten taken out on us.
Even her response.
Or more Armando.
Yeah.
Even her response to Eric saying we're ready to order was like, she was annoyed by it.
Yeah.
And it's like, okay, you asked.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Yeah.
But.
Anyway.
I mean, there was no one else in that Denny's to make her mad.
Nope.
There were a couple of people sitting behind us and then they left and then it was empty.
No one there.
They are hiring.
Yeah.
Late night gamers.
Late night gamers.
I don't understand that at all.
I forgot about that.
So it was a sign, I imagine, for like overnight shifts.
Yeah.
You know, or late night shifts.
Because Denny's has got to be open 24 hours.
And also the top one made sense
because it was like, hey, night owl.
Yes.
That means you're awake.
That's all it implies.
It just means you're awake.
But then the bottom one under that was like, are, night owl. Yes. That means you're awake. That's all it implies. It just means you're awake. But then the bottom one under that was like,
are you a late night gamer?
And I went, well, how could I come to work then?
I would be playing video games at night.
I'd be a late night worker.
Yes.
I'm not a daytime gamer.
And so I think, how is this helpful at all?
And then all communication broke down.
Jordan decided not to apply.
Yeah.
At that point, he went,
there's no point.
Fuck this.
I'm a late night gamer.
I'm not playing games
I'm not coming to Denny's getting tips at night
All the best tips happen at night
All the best tips probably happen at noon
Apparently when no one's in the restaurant
At lunch time
The breakfast rush is over
And we went to the Wendy's
The Wendy's This Denny's. The Denny's.
This Denny's was ugly as shit, too.
It's one of those ugly ass outside.
It looks like every other Denny's on the inside.
But the outside is like
chrome.
It's one of those old chrome looking
food trucks. Like everything's
really reflective. But it's a
50s diner. It's like they wanted a building to look
like an Airstream trailer. It does. It's exactly what it looks like. It's like an airstream it does it's exactly what it looks like it's like an airstream trailer more
obnoxious johnny rockets it is what it is yeah it's just a suit it's too shiny and then you walk
in and it's normal and then they have handwritten signs and crayon that say 401k come work here
apply today interviews on the spot it's like oh maybe maybe that's why they were so busy everyone
was in the back oh they were doing interviews like round oh, okay. Maybe that's why they were so busy. Everyone was in the back.
Oh, they were doing interviews.
Like round robin interviews.
Do you think that's why that guy was there for so long?
Yeah.
He was waiting, you know.
Makes sense.
Tough competition.
Jordan, do you want to do a haiku so that way we can learn about Denny's?
And we can learn about Denny's from your haiku.
The first time I did a haiku was Denny's.
Wow.
Is that true? Yeah. Wow. I had to scroll all the way to the bottom of this note. Oh Denny's. Wow. Is that true?
Yeah.
Wow.
I had to scroll all the way to the bottom of this note.
Oh, that's so crazy.
Uh-oh.
So here's part two of Denny's.
Drunk at 3 a.m.
Moon looms large in Florida.
I ain't eating that.
That seems very right.
What is... Is moons over my hamm miami that's not the sandwich right no they have the miami sandwich do they still have the dish where the namesake originates
because i've never had it and i never i don't i'm gonna look it up i don't know it was just
who is fighting to keep this stupid thing alive? Dude, somebody really loves that joke.
Somebody just like,
the lore,
the moons over Miami.
He saw it once and was just like,
I'll never forget.
So it is the sandwich.
Okay.
The moons over Miami is a sandwich.
Okay.
I always thought it was some sort of platter.
Yeah, me too.
But moons over Miami,
moon over Miami is a movie from 1941.
With Betty Grable.
Probably pretty relevant to Denny's.
Oh my God.
So nobody really gets the joke anymore.
The Grablers?
The Grablers in it.
Grabes?
Yeah, big Grabes.
Grabler?
Wow, 1941.
Don't get on her bad side and get the Grabes of Grasse.
And Robert Cummings.
Come on.
Stop making jokes. Let's learn on her bad side. And Robert Cummings. Come on.
Stop making jokes.
Let's learn about Denny's. Even more so with these Denny's facts.
I'm about to get. Our previous Denny's
You're about to get hard. Our previous
Denny's episode was released
March 16.
When you started doing the haiku
I looked and I saw that
and I said uh oh.
Uh oh. Eric from two minutes from now is in trouble. When you started doing the haiku, I looked and I saw that and I said, uh-oh.
Eric from two minutes from now is in trouble. He made a face that made me look at it.
And then I saw him looking at me looking at it.
And I didn't even see it yet.
And he started going, no.
So who's Marcy?
Anyway, it was released with Marcy 16, 2021, where we ate the Denny's Big Dipper Melt.
It received an average score of 49.
Fun fact, last time I had Denny's, Marcy16, 2021.
Do you guys remember that at all?
In no way.
I remember the haiku, that's it.
I don't remember what the Big Dipper Melt was.
It was just a sandwich?
Yes, it was a sandwich.
I had to pick it up from the Denny's that was like up off the freeway up north or whatever.
And it was such a fucking headache to get. I hated it. I hated the Denny's that was like up off the freeway up north or whatever. Yeah. And it was such a fucking
headache to get. Oh, I hated it.
I hated that Denny's. But
we went to the cool one. Who
likes Denny's? Right. So now
that you have the two. Right.
I would rather go pick up food from the
other Denny's to bring it to you than go to the
that first Denny's that I had gone to.
It's just a fucking headache. Okay. Yep.
So Airstreamer Denny's wins. Yeah. Okay. Fact two. Denny's that I had gone to. Oh, okay. It's just a fucking headache. Okay. Yep. So Airstreamer Denny's wins.
Yeah.
Okay.
Fact two.
Denny's opened its first New York City location in 2014,
and to mark the occasion, it offered a Grand Cru Slam,
which consisted of two Grand Slam meals and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
Okay.
You're not just in a Denny's.
You're in a Manhattan Denny's.
Oh, boy.
Franchise owner Rahul Marwa said,
as millions of rats
crept out of the sewers
and prepared to feast
on never-ending moons
over Miami trash.
Okay.
That fact rules.
That was a good one.
We have terrible news.
Hey, you're in a Manhattan, Denny's.
It's a $300.
It was $300?
$300 for the one bottle of Dom Perignon and two Grand Slams.
I was going to say $10 of that is the two Grand Slams.
How do you pronounce that?
Is that Grand Crew Slam?
Is that a typo?
What is that?
Grand Crew, I think, is like a drink thing.
C-R-U.
Crew.
See, we are normal people who don't go to Denny's.
Well, it's also when Eric just has so many typos.
Like when he says Marcy 16, I don't know what Grand Crew means.
Is that supposed to say something else?
Is his name even Ron Gould Marwa?
Grand Crew is a non-official descriptor for other products such as beer and chocolate.
So it's wine.
It's like wine.
Cru is wine.
C-R-U.
But it says it consisted of two Grand Slam meals.
I thought Cru was what you did when you rode on the team.
That's true.
That's C-R-E-W, I believe.
You got to get up at 3 a.m.
Yeah.
Denny's official blog says, says quote denny's ran for public
office in 2000 i assume the year 2000 yep on the platform of love and breakfast for all
end quote we are denny's still got more votes than our speaker kevin
speaker kevin mccarthy and then is that a is that a smirky little smirky smirky and then it says
folks dot dot i imagine it's supposed to be read like this go ahead folks yeah this is pretty good
you just kind of have to do it like a seth meyers kind of situation you know
folks yep you kind of that the little smirk is kind of like holding for a pause he got it yeah
he got it yeah so what if it took so what if it's in the last 200 years people get in their face
squeezed before blows were thrown and then also the soon-to-be and then house speaker going to
math gates going i'll kill you i'll kill you i'll Gaetz going, I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
I'll kill your whole family. River of
blood. River of blood, you son of a bitch.
You motherfucking son of a bitch. And then he
patted him on the shoulder and then
he voted president.
That's all he needed to do.
Then nine people voted president.
Yeah.
What I've really liked
since McCarthy got the votes. With his mouth away from the camera because he knows where it is.
Right, yeah.
What I've liked about McCarthy so far is that now that it's passed and everything,
the pictures of him are like, he has to rebuild this image of him being like a strong leader.
So he doesn't like my image gallery because I was taking pictures of every single headline.
And don't get me wrong.
These are super biased headlines.
I don't even care what article like magazines they were from,
but it's like Kevin McCarthy,
like goddamn loser.
Loses again.
Idiot.
Embarrassing.
15 time loser.
Kevin McCarthy.
I'm like,
this is so biased.
This rules.
I was just like,
Hey,
this dumb fucking idiot lost again.
Dumb ass.
The New York times. They dragged it out for so long it was crazy it was really great anyway i had a great time he won you lost and when you lose in 2016 denny's announced that they were going to
be using cruelty free eggs but nick thinks the cruelty is where denny's got so much of its flavor before and he says he wants
him to quote bring back
the cruelty end quote
yikes
that's so crazy because I heard
him saying that
I can neither confirm nor deny and he's not
here to defend himself so I'll have to
assume it's correct
he also kept saying put that on saying, put that on the record.
Put that on the record.
Well,
I want to be cruel and well fed.
Nick will do.
You quote me on that.
I fucking dare you.
Nick will do anything to go back to 2000 days.
I won't even,
I won't even show up for this episode.
You motherfucker.
I'll pretend I'm sick well this is the last
fact and if you thought you were gonna avoid
the incident you were wrong
just wanted to give an update
about that Denny's waiter who got
fired for getting his dick sucked
up in a Denny's in
2021 according
according
cock sucking expert
slime county on Reddit, quote, she didn't suck his dick.
She just put it in her mouth.
There's a fucking difference.
This guy got ripped off and so did I, end quote.
Which, ironically, is almost verbatim what armando said in the car and he has not seen this is armando
slime county when he immediately pulled up the video that's the exact same thing he said
he kept going that doesn't count this guy got ripped off he kept saying
but what he didn't say what he didn't say which i think is more incriminating to slime county here
he did not say and so did i so did i slime county was like i was i was ready to go this was
i was all will you ever find the perfect video? Right.
No!
It was just getting good!
There's a fucking difference.
Woo!
Alright, that's an all-timer fact.
I like that.
Dude, fucking Slime County on Reddit?
Dude, you know we got into Slime County.
Also, a couple of loss of words there.
According to cock sucking experts.
So here's what happened.
I got so excited thinking, according to cock sucking expert,
that I just fucking blew.
I just went, oh, God.
It's just.
I got to get this on the page.
I'm going to get through Kevin McCarthy.
I didn't do that.
When God serves it up to you, you just, I gotta get this on the page. I paid it through Kevin McCarthy. I didn't pay the anti-Israeli. When God serves it up to you,
I'm excited like a dog.
I'm like, feed me, feed me, feed me.
Stop, you're throwing up.
Marcy died so
cocksucking expert Slime County on Reddit
could live.
What subreddit
was that? Do you know?
I think it was... it was either danny's
related or something else related i looked it up on my work computer let me find out
that's smart that's smart yeah uh man uh uh what is this uh i don't know the facts sexy hang on
oh i'm on work laptop also uh and i'm oh god the video's playing uh
r slash trashy boners yep see that sexy sexy girl sucks denny's waiter's dick instead of a tip
this is a top comment and then got ripped off and now again now and now remember with the
subreddit where you are this guy ripped off and so did i And now remember Where you are This guy got ripped off
And so did I
So did I
It very much tracks
Oh my god
He wanted to get ripped off
But he didn't
He had a trashy boner
Trashy boner wasted
Yep
Slime County
Just going for it
Oh it's great
He says
And Eric's just continuing
To read this now
Hang on
Can we go to this guy's profile And see what other things he's commenting on?
It's a good idea.
Well,
you know,
I did finish the Denny's facts,
so we could spit some silly.
It's true.
Uh,
she didn't suck his dick.
She just put it in her mouth.
There's a fucking difference.
This guy's got ripped off.
And so did I.
Please end me.
Fam replied.
Are you okay, man?
Slime County, do you not get upset when you see an injustice?
Oh, my God.
This guy's pretty funny.
He's approaching it from a whole different angle.
This could be a future Captain America.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
Oh, he, this is, um,
oh boy. Oh, he posts this is a lot of, you shouldn't
Is there some rhetoric going on? No, he just
where he posts. Oh.
Is, uh, I shouldn't
be on this. Some sort of late night gamer.
Uh, yeah.
Oh, he's definitely, well, he was gonna get hired
at Denny's, but he still sees the injustice.
Oh, man. Well, Slime County, congratulations to get hired at Denny's, but he still sees the injustice. Oh, man.
Well, Slime County, congratulations to you.
Featured for an extended period of time on this podcast.
It's a true honor.
Do you not get upset when you see an injustice?
He could do this all day.
I like a guy named Please End Me Fam saying, are you all right?
Yeah.
Come on, guys.
Yeah.
Get it together.
When please end me, fam, is the one asking if you're okay, maybe you have reached rock bottom.
Fuck, dude.
Well, that's, did you guys learn a lot about Denny's?
Not really.
What?
I'm still confused about the Grand Cru Slam.
Why?
I'm confused why you put an emoji in the factsx and then printed it out in grayscale.
Yeah, I mean, it's supposed to be for color, man.
Come on.
It's like, you gotta click settings.
Eh, I don't wanna use all the work ink.
That's what it is.
You're a hero.
Sure, yeah.
You'll use all the work bandwidth
looking up Slime County's comic history,
but you won't use color ink.
That's where we draw the line.
Well, I mean, to be fair, you can't just color ink. That's where we draw the line. Well,
I mean,
to be fair,
you can't just say slime County.
You have to say cock sucking experts.
Please.
He worked hard for that title that Eric gave him.
Was that in 2021?
Yeah.
I,
I think it,
yeah.
Was that video?
Like,
so it happened.
I think it happened like right before our episode.
That's crazy.
I think it was like new.
Like when our episode happened, I didn't realize that. Or I did and just's crazy. I think it was like new, like when our episode happened.
I didn't realize that.
Or I did and just forgot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And someone listening is going, yeah, you talked about it, Michael.
You said in this episode, wow, I can't believe it's new.
Yeah.
So you remember.
Yeah, you remember, right?
And I say to you, by the fact that I've clearly forgotten, I don't remember.
I was just wrong.
You know who remembers?
Slime County.
He'll never forget.
He'll never forget the wrongs of this world.
I was going to say that Marcy 16, 2021 sounds like way too recent for that episode.
Yeah.
But here we are in January 2023.
In my brain, it's like, that was a year ago.
No.
Dude, when it was almost January 6th again, there was like a day, like a whole day.
I was thinking to myself like, man, the one year anniversary.
And I forgot it was two years.
Fucking crazy.
Eric just learned that January 6th is the last day of the 12 days of Christmas.
I still think this is made up.
It doesn't make sense to me.
The 12 days of Christmas should be the days leading up to Christmas.
Would they not?
In a sensible world, sure.
I can see that.
That's kind of like,
that's like the 24 days of Christmas.
Right.
Which really even makes no sense.
Or if you call it 25,
I guess it's some Advent calendar stop at 24,
which seems insane to me.
It's like,
it's like,
don't forget about Christmas.
It should go up to Christmas,
not,
okay, Christmas Christmas you take over
Our work here is done
Here's where it gets more confusing
Some people consider the first day of Christmas
The 26th
So you have Christmas and that's day 0
And then you go 12 days after
And then we started talking
I found out about Orthodox Christmas
Right Orthodox Christmas which is January 7th
Yeah
Seems pretty unorthodox That's what I'm saying It doesn't make any sense to me Orthodox Christmas? Right. Orthodox Christmas, which is January 7th. Yeah.
Seems pretty unorthodox.
It's what I'm saying.
It doesn't make any sense to me.
And if you are an Orthodox Christian who celebrates the 12 days of Christmas, it's going all the way to the 18th.
You could be celebrating Christmas for almost a month if you do both.
I don't think you can celebrate that long.
I don't think it's physically possible.
I think you can drag your feet.
If your tree's still up, it's not... You think you can drag your feet i think i think your tree's still up
you it's not i think once a day you could be like christmas yeah i really i really think christmas
christmas really benefits i mean not so much here in texas or really california but places that have
weather in that it gets to be kind of like a month long event. Right. You know, once Thanksgiving's over,
it's, it's right.
Christmas kind of benefits from holiday.
Yeah.
Because it gets cooler.
You know,
if it's snowing,
you get the lights and shit.
It feels magical.
That makes sense.
Like you can have Christmas trees and Christmas decorations for a month
without celebrating shit.
Yeah.
It's just like,
cool.
I'm going to get ready.
And then you get Christmas Eve,
you get Christmas, you're fucking done. That's it. Pack it up. You're done. Yeah. It's just like, cool, I'm gonna get ready, and then you get Christmas Eve, you get Christmas, you're fucking
done. That's it. Pack it up, you're done.
Yeah. No more. We don't need to drag
this thing out. Orthodox Christmas.
That's crazy. There was a schism.
Jordan keeps describing it as a schism.
Okay. There's a schism.
Was it or was it not?
In like the 11th century, and now there's
two different facts of Christianity.
And now we have two Christmases.
So when your parents get divorced, it's like a big schism, and you get two Christmases.
He also keeps calling his parents' divorce a schism.
Your parents got divorced?
Well, they got schismed.
A couple years ago, yeah.
It was really hard for me as a Nepo baby.
As a grown adult Nepo baby?
Yeah, a few years ago.
You were born into this family, Nepo baby style.
Yeah. We're all Nepo baby style.
We're all Nepo babies. They really doted you just like your siblings.
Dude, so much love in that house.
It was quite a challenge.
Pretty daunting.
Didn't you say
there's also an anti-pope?
Yeah, in the schism there are two popes.
The other pope was called the anti-pope.
What is he talking about?
He's talking about the schism.
He trailed off and then
came back and I thought we were
done. There's a pope. I thought I kind of popped
in and poked around and derailed him.
Guys, it's fine. Now we're back to one pope.
The other pope just died, right?
Yeah. Dude, that guy was definitely
an anti-pope. That was the anti-pope.
That was the anti-pope that everybody hated. That guy was the Nazi pope.
Was he like a Nazi? Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, yeah. The guy scored at the line. I think he was like the first pope in like he like a Nazi? Yeah, something like that. I scored at the line.
I think he was like
the first pope
in like 500 popes
to be like,
I'm going to quit.
Yeah.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm feeling pretty un-pope-like.
Guys, I came here
to have a good time
and honestly,
I'm feeling a little bit
I don't know what color smoke
you got to fire off,
but I'm out of here.
I'm here for a good time,
not for a long time.
Where's Jude Law?
Yeah.
We need a young pope.
So we get that hot fucking pope.
And then we need a new pope.
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Hey, you know what we need?
We need a new sandwich from Denny's.
Why don't you tell me about my hammy spice sandwich.
Denny's my hammy spice sandwich.
Ham, chorizo, and scrambled egg sandwich
with Swiss and American cheeses
and pickled jalapenos on a grilled artisan bread.
Bullshit.
Serve with your choice of side,
which was hash browns.
Now I do want to say,
I do want to say this is,
um,
copied and pasted from the official Denny's site.
Oh,
it does not say pickled jalapenos.
Oh God.
See,
it says picked. They picked them why i don't know american
cheeses and picked jalapenos were they even that's where they pickled no i don't think so no they
must have been though they were soft my pickle look you read it you should have you should have
been on top of that you knew i read what you knew about whether it was pickled it You should have been on top of that I read what?
You knew about whether it was picked or pickled
You should have been sniffing it out
I think he made it clear he didn't
Copy pasted it
I looked and I went
You probably noticed 6 seconds ago like you did with Marcy
That's true
Cock sucking expert
Press material
Denny's is one of the most iconic American brands
in the restaurant industry and beyond.
I am truly honored and looking forward to joining the Denny's brand team
and leading our marketing efforts at such a pivotal time.
Somebody's like LinkedIn announcement.
Someone getting a job.
It gets there.
Said Sherry Landry, senior vice president and chief marketing officer.
There is no press release for Miami Spice, even though it is ripe for the pickling.
Slammo.
It says picking.
Yeah.
Is Sherry Landry from the Landry's company?
Yeah.
What?
What the fuck is the Landry's company?
It's like a big conglomerate of restaurants.
Of Landry's.
Really?
There's an anti-Landry.
Wait, wait.
There was a schism.
Jesus Christ.
Fucking.
God damn it.
That was good.
She came from other restaurants, so maybe.
It's possible.
So maybe.
It would be like if Paris Hilton joined Comfort Inn and Suites or something.
I mean, what hotel was she in
when she was getting railed?
No, that's not...
Hang on.
What?
It's not...
What's up?
He wasn't making...
What hotel was she in
when she was getting railed
isn't that what he said
Hilton she's the heiress
to all the Hilton stuff
right no I know but I'm saying
was she in a hotel
because it's like Nepo baby
making your
private videos at your dad's
business what Nepo baby
what better way to rebel from You're making your private videos at your dad's business? What nepo, baby?
What better way to rebel from everything you're owed than to go to a different hotel?
Everything you're owed.
That's hot.
There was such a, like...
What's a Walmart?
In the mid-2000s, that's hot was everywhere.
Fucking fervor.
It was.
Oh, yeah.
Fervor.
It was the hottest thing.
And it was, that's hot.
Yeah.
You have to say it like that.
That's hot.
Did you know that Paris Hilton played hockey in high school?
Cool.
What?
Was she any good?
Did she get drafted?
No, I don't think she got drafted.
She got drafted.
I think she might be a fucking genius.
I think she was like a marketing tour de force.
I kind of agree with you.
And then got out at the right time.
And now like enough time has passed.
She's kind of like, she's kind of rebranded.
Here's the thing.
Into a more, you thought I was dumb?
I'm actually a genius.
Here's the thing too.
She's like 38.
Here's the thing too.
Enough time has passed also.
Similarly, I guess, in my opinion, much like Monica Lewinsky, where it's like, where much time has passed also um it's similarly i guess in my opinion much like monica lewinsky
where it's like oh yeah where much time has passed and you go yeah she wasn't the piece of
shit in that situation by the way perry sultan like it's just it's just america and world
misogyny being like oh that videotape that got leaked without your permission like haha when
you were 19 or something or 20 like god what a
terrible person you are download yep absolutely that was the world right being like you're a
terrible phil well that was like it's like you said the monica lewinsky thing was the same thing
right and it's like what the fuck what like like like even talking about paris hilton right now
you think of like that it's just like wow, wow, that was all fucked up. Yep. That was really fucked up.
Yep.
Right.
And the only reason like we feel comfortable about like talking about her is
that she has like reimagined herself into a very different,
a different person.
She really,
who is a grownup.
Also,
I think there's just more human beings willing to be less pieces of shit.
Yeah.
You can only hope so.
Yeah.
Well, I mean,
what I mean,
there's
still plenty of pieces uh i think she did a really good job of um riding that wave for a very long
time to uh the tune of a lot of money and then walking away she's done like pop music too which
oh honestly stars are blind not a bad song not a bad song not a bad song that said not that i don't
know she's a piece of shit probably is yeah i mean if you're that rich you probably
are probably a piece of it i just i just i i just want to point out definitely regardless of the
person that was a really shitty thing she had to go through as a teenager yeah for the entire world
basically get like laughed at and like blamed and ridiculed and it's like kind of insane that like
that was like yeah it's like absolutely it's on her yeah um is not like who was the guy hey uh
you know Paris Hilton's cool probably also is a piece of shit yeah unrelated who was the guy
do you remember I don't remember his name at least you remember the guy's name poopy head I think
I think it was Mr. poopy i want to say it
was steven dorf but i don't think that's right that's not right what do you mean why not why
would you say it was steven dorf i don't know i thought that was maybe who it was what no in what
world is i don't know what are you talking about hang on was it some nepo baby uh i mean it's like a club oh yeah rick solomon i don't know
who that it says director it says it says director and producer rick solomon
so it's like a nepo baby penguin club club penguin yeah gotcha they have a they have a
private server well now we know everything yep uh so what did you think? We went with Armando, but what did you guys think of this
food? It was big.
It was tall as shit. Yeah, they
have to put all this stuff in it because you
need the egg. Yeah. You need the ham.
That's what goes in the hammy.
And now they're going to add this
other stuff to make it spice
so that they can make the Miami
spice joke.
Like the picked jalapenos and the chorizo.
And it was mildly spicy.
The kind of spice is just like,
it's not doing nothing,
but it's not hurting me.
It just tasted like it would have spice
without being spicy.
Does that make sense?
Like it has like a peppery kind of flavor,
but like that's really it.
I mean, yeah.
And then the jalapenos kind of just hang out. I mean, that's really it. I mean, yeah. And then the jalapeno is kind of just hang out.
I mean,
that's literally it.
If you bite the jalapeno,
it's hot.
Yeah.
Armando took a bite of Michael's sandwich.
Just say,
well,
I went after I was done eating my sandwich.
Um,
he took a bite out of it that like stunned me.
Cause it sounded like crunch.
So it sounded like he bit a carrot.
It really sounded like biting a carrot.
It was fucking crazy.
What was that?
And I was like,
I think it was the jalapeno and then he went dude you ever you ever get that where like
jalapenos are always so hit and miss but you get one like bite that just like it either hits your
tongue right or it's just spicy enough dude it's never the time it's when it hits the back of the
throat that is just incapacitating well it's like those like you
ever do like shishito peppers where you talk about a crap shoot where you have them and you go like
there's no heat there's no heat it's good there's like yeah you're just downing them because you're
like i'm i'm invincible 10 is like insanely hot i got the one in 10 and it was like it like
brutalized the rest of my meal yeah Yeah. It happened to me too.
So it's like relentless hot.
It just doesn't go away.
It's like constant little bee stings on your tongue.
It's really crazy.
Armando,
who does not review,
who does not get a review of the food. He wanted to leave us with the thought that the worst part of the,
my hammy spice was the ham.
Right.
So he did say that it was also the smallest part yes it was like two thin layers
of like fried ham yeah he said start by getting rid of that yeah yeah i also thought it was more
enjoyable when you got rid of the bread really yeah because the bread was like so dry oh i thought
my bread was fine it was they kind of they burned it a little bit that was really oh mine was
definitely burned i was fine it was a little black and yeah was really, oh, mine was definitely burned. Mine was fine. It was really buttery. It was a little black.
I'm not saying it ruined the sandwich, but when I started picking it off.
I feel you.
I mean, if yours was dry, mine just wasn't dry.
Yeah.
But it did have like a, I mean, it had like a, I don't think it was burnt.
It had like the browning of like a grilled cheese sandwich.
Yeah.
Mine had, I would say.
So it was pretty, it was buttery enough where mine wasn't. Definitely. It's very salty. The whole I would say. It was pretty... It was buttery enough
where mine wasn't.
Definitely.
It's very salty.
It was very salty.
And again, it was...
Even if not dry,
the bread was very sturdy.
And because it's such a tall sandwich
and the bread wasn't soft,
it didn't depress.
So you're like crunching the bread
as you're trying to unhinge your jaw
like a python. If the bread is soft enough, you can just like gum it. It didn't depress. Right. So you're like crunching the bread as you're trying to unhinge your jaw like a python. Usually if the
bread is soft enough you can just like gum it.
You can squish it. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of do like
suck on it. Like a
like one of those. Like you're getting a tip.
Yeah. Like you're getting a tip. Sure.
So what do you think Jordan? What do you
what are your thoughts on the food? I mean flavor wise
it's pretty good. Like
the chorizo tasted good.
It's you you know,
an interesting mashup of all these foods.
I think if,
you know,
they really wanted to get the Miami spice joke.
So I guess that's why they added in all the other things,
but you know,
it,
it was fine.
I didn't really hate it.
So I'm going to say it's,
it's a 67.
Okay.
Didn't really hate it.
And then gives a 67.
This guy is crazy. Yeah. Not hating is high praise. 67. Okay. Didn't really hate it. And then gives a 67. This guy is crazy.
Not hating is high praise.
Clearly.
Right.
I didn't really hate it.
67 from Jordan is also a high score.
It could be somewhere around 50.
It was fine.
It could be a 90 for him.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
It's too big.
I was fine with the consistency.
I agree.
The ham was sort of whatever.
I mean, the ingredients were good.
I'm not like a huge put on a shitload of meat person,
which there really wasn't that much,
but there was just a lot going on.
I'll say this too.
There was a lot of chewing going on.
I only ate one of the slices.
Like, I wasn't eating that whole thing.
Same.
It's the same.
I ate half, and then the other half
is what Armando started playing.
I did eat all of the hash browns, though.
Okay, let me say this real quick, though.
I don't think I've ever,
I don't think I've ever had
nor been offered cheese on hash browns.
Yeah, I thought that was strange.
Oh, really?
And I was just kind of going with it.
I was like, we should all get cheese.
We should just do it.
100%.
I've never heard it in my life.
Cheese on hash browns is great.
I'm not arguing it isn't.
I'm just saying I've literally never heard it
and never been offered it in my life.
Wow.
So she goes, you want the hash browns?
Like with the meal?
And we're like, yeah. And she goes, you want cheese
on the hash browns? And I just
went, yes,
sure. And then we got it. And I'm just like,
that's wild to me. I've never eaten hash browns.
It comes and it's like, holy
fuck, it's like 90% cheese.
So much. And it's all melted
on there. Dude, the hash browns were pretty
good though. They were
actually good. Hash browns are really easy to burn and they get though. Yeah. They were good. They were actually, like, good. Like, hash browns are really easy to burn, and they get dry as shit.
They were still white underneath the top.
That's a good hash brown.
They did a good job.
So, good starch.
I like the sandwich.
It's a little big.
But you know what?
For Denny's, the restaurant sucked, and the service was not great, and it was empty, and
I was a little bit scared.
But I'm going to say i'll give you a 72
okay i think that's that's pretty fair yeah it a lot of that factoring into the score for me was
surprised that how they didn't screw it up yeah it was very simple and kind of just here's your
sandwich it also in the pictures doesn't look very appetizing no i was not looking forward
to eating the sandwich it's a pretty decent looking sandwich. But in person, it was not scary.
Here's the thing I will say.
For all the ingredients on it, it's not a greasy mess.
No.
It's actually like cooked.
It's all very contained.
It's cooked food.
The eggs aren't runny.
Like anything at a Chili's or a Friday's or whatever is like five times as greasy or messy or gooey.
It's going to be dripping.
This thing was you could straight up eat it and just wipe your hands with a napkin yeah it wasn't sticky uh so 69.5 is the score
wow and uh i think that's i think it's good um we do have some time before i want to get to the
snack uh which is good because i wanted to have a quick meeting about the noisemaker that we want
to make noisemaker you know like the little has like the little push button yeah we want to make. Noisemaker? We're making a noisemaker? Oh, the little push button.
Yeah, we need to figure out what sounds we want so that way
Nick can source them. I thought we did this. No, no.
We sort of threw things out there and now
we landed on six.
So we need to finalize the six.
So we want the monkey ooh,
right? Ooh! Yeah.
We want that. We want
100%
eat from the episode. Is that... I don't i don't know yeah see this is where we went
last time i don't know if we need it i don't think we can table it let's table that yeah
i think unless jordan has a better one i think we should definitely do swear science
oh that's good that's a good one we talked it's so good we keep saying it put that one in there okay doing it now swear science
okay
got it
it doesn't have to stay
monkey centric
should it
no
no no no
should it be
the beginning
like of the theme song
ooh
that's not a bad idea
like a clip
yeah like just like
a five second
like a hit clip
yeah yeah yeah
beginning oh yeah where you can only listen to part of the song yeah
it's good yeah but you can keep hitting it like michael scott yep
you just keep pressing it yeah that's good okay like do we have the technology to kind of um let them have an open slot to for people to
record their own i don't think so i bet not yeah these things i don't think have that that's a
great idea but no okay let me let me actually what if we made that here's the thing yes but
it's gonna cost the customer $1,200. For a tape recorder.
For five pre-recorded noises in one of your own.
They buy a separate kit that dismantles the thing they have now.
You have to buy a different motherboard.
You have to buy the monkey noisemaker and a Megan robot.
Yeah, a Megan robot.
You got to do a Megan-style robot. Yeah, a Megan robot. You gotta do a Megan style robot.
As long as it dances.
Yep.
She dances.
She dances.
Do we want one that's like
those are the facts?
Something like that?
What are we always saying?
Spitting silly.
We're great and you're terrible.
To the audience.
Yeah.
You're a bug.
Oh, here's a good one. And we can just record this. Like, here's a reminder. You need audience. Here's a good one.
We can just record this. Here's a reminder.
You need us. We don't need you.
Just so they have it.
Just so you know.
Fuck.
Here's a succinct version of that.
Fuck you.
That's even easier.
We probably shouldn't put fuck you on the noise machine.
But we should put...
I'm not saying we should.
I'm just saying if we're gonna put
you don't, we don't need you.
You need us, we don't need you.
We might as well also add
fuck you.
Because it's the same thing.
I just want to make sure we cross the language barrier.
Let's get a little Eric one where he's like, I'm a little spice rat.
I definitely want one of him crying
or screaming or like, no!
Or, you know, when he's getting feisty.
Oh, you know what we definitely need? I'm thinking about getting mad.
No, you know what we definitely need from him? What's that?
This sucks. Oh, okay. We need this sucks
from him. This sucks. He says that a lot because he's always
sucking. What? This sucks more
than a tip of Denny's. Which is easy
to do. This is very
little. He's really saying something. It's not the same
fucking thing. There's a fucking difference. It's not the same fucking thing.
There's a fucking difference.
He got ripped off and so did I.
So, so far we have
Monkey U,
Swear Science.
Two.
Beginning of the theme song.
Three.
This Sucks.
Four.
That's already four.
Yeah.
Dang.
We're almost there.
We're like
two-thirds of the way done, baby.
Where were you when McMillian happened?
Oh, that was one.
That was one I wanted, yes.
Okay, McMillian's song.
And I know I threw out the gun loading sound for when he does an execution.
He definitely did.
Oh, that's a good idea.
So you think that's a good idea, but we can't do fuck you.
We can do gun cock sound.
That idea was met with middling.
Yeah, but here's my thing. I think
it's a great idea. I don't think it's a
great idea to have someone walk around with a gun
sound and you don't know where it's coming from.
You're walking behind someone.
Here's what I'm saying. Well, you meant to play
the... Here's the other thing too.
Immediately you can argue
look, people can get that online.
That's fine. Just don't put our names on it
You're putting our names on it
When there's going to be a blood bath
And at the center of the bodies
Is going to be this little fucking monkey keychain
Woo
Yeah you just keep hearing
Woo
This sucks
Cause a corpse is fucking sitting on top of it
So let's not do that one.
I'm just saying.
I just think.
Asking for trouble.
I get it.
I mean, we're not asking for it, but we're putting ourselves in the realm of possibility.
You know what I mean?
Like, hey, look, we don't want to get in trouble like calling this podcast the Michael Jordan podcast.
Right.
We need to avoid any liabilities.
We dodged a million lawsuits just from that one.
Real or imagined.
Well, they're definitely one of them.
Is there anything from the intro that we want?
Welcome to Face Jam?
You can't do the song and intro.
That's true.
No, that's true.
You're right.
We just need like a scream.
It's like 33% intro.
A scream?
A scream?
Yeah.
Like a stinger.
Okay.
What could that be?
I don't know.
What scream is good that's been on the show
when you say welcome to
Space Jam I do scream
yeah there is the no from that
we could also do something we could add
do lemons
oh is this lemons
you just bought lemons
you're holding lemons
this is lemons
Space Jam it's lemons you were pounding and were yelling You just bought lemons. You're holding lemons. This is lemons.
Face jam. It's lemons.
You were pounding and were yelling something about lemons.
The people demanded.
The people want lemons.
It was because it was like the line was something about the never ending demand of lemons.
Is this lemons?
That was the cookie episode.
Or you know what else we could also do? Because we also will never be able to put that on a shirt. Cat or gun. Of lemons. Is this lemons? That was the cookie episode where we didn't get the cookie.
Or you know what else we could also do?
Because we also will never be able to put that on a shirt.
Cater gun.
Cater gun's a good one.
See, there's a bunch.
Oh, man.
There's too many already.
I'm trying to spread it out.
I don't want to do all like, you know, recent ones.
No, no, I get it.
But again, my feeble mind can barely remember like how I dress myself.
No, you remember.
I don't remember Marcy 16th.
No, you remember.
I just listened to episode
one and you said it.
How do you not remember that?
I would say
the lemons one is stronger.
There's something there with the lemons.
We just need to either like...
Okay, quote from lemons.
Lemon adjacent quote.
Is Kevin McCarthy Lemons?
Definitely not.
Nobody's happy with that guy.
Okay.
There's like 20 people who hate him in his own party.
Where is my hat?
You're wearing it.
No.
The monkey hat.
Where is it?
Has that hat been made?
I was surprised that we got this shirt.
No, it's not.
No, that's why I'm asking.
No, I don't think it's made yet. I know it's not made. I'm just asking where is it in the war? Yeah. Where is that? Has that hat been made? I was surprised that we got this shirt. No, it's not. No, that's what I'm asking.
Uh, no,
I don't think it's made yet.
I know it's not made.
I'm just asking,
where is it in the war?
How did this get made first?
That's what I'm saying.
This has the same art,
but it's on a shirt and it got made.
We never even talked about this shirt.
Yeah,
right.
This got real slapped on.
I love that.
No,
it's good,
but I'm just saying like,
we talked about the hat for so long and all of a sudden,
boom, this came out.
And that's why I was like,
whoa, where'd the hat go?
I don't know.
I'll find out.
Yeah.
But that shirt,
the 100% sweet shirt.
Yeah.
God, that fucking rules.
Yeah.
What a good line.
Whoever came up with that.
It's so good.
I don't remember what it was,
but we were like,
hang on,
we'll come up with something better.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was something candy.
It was very easy.
It was like 100% love or something.
Yeah.
Greetings, Bug Kings. Thank you. It was very easy. It was like 100% love or something. Greetings, Bug Kings.
Thank you for the hours upon hours.
One of the funniest podcasts out there.
What the fuck do you mean one of?
It really makes my commute suffer a little bit less.
There are other podcasts?
Not sure if you guys have Kinder Bueno there.
They just put out these mini ones.
Oh, the little German kid?
Yeah, this is from Mara.
Thanks, Mara.
So here we go.
Do we have more of these mugs?
Yes.
I want to open it and look at it.
You can open that one and look at it.
Yeah, go for it.
Okay, Kinder Bueno Mini.
Jordan, I already was, and then I stopped because I realized it was yours.
And I went, oh, I should not open this.
I didn't really care as much.
Stacy, you want a Kinder Bueno Mini?
I think you did.
I just wanted to see it.
Trust me, I probably don't want it. Yeah. Oh, it's great. I love that. Oh, no, I should not open this. I didn't really care as much. I think you did. I just wanted to see it.
Trust me.
I probably don't want it.
Yeah.
Oh, it's great.
I love that mug. Oh, no, I love it.
I can't take another mug.
It's so many.
I have a hundred mugs.
I don't use, I don't even use mugs.
I don't drink coffee.
I like cups.
I like a 16 ounce cup.
You use mugs every day.
It's because, well, I don't drink coffee.
And so I drink water.
I want big, I want big boy cup
this is good
what are you sucking on now
you said this is called Stephen's way
yeah that's what we said
so what do you think of Stephen's way
is this Stephen Dwarf
yeah Stephen Dwarf
why did you think it was Stephen Dwarf
I don't know
wasn't he in Blade
it just seems
weird right but it seems weird that you would say that yeah no it fits it just seems weird that he
was in that video so right why was it him it wasn't what do you think of mara's uh rules
that's awesome right yeah um so that what michael's looking at is the uh the grumpy monkey mug that you can get on his stored Irish teeth.
That's not how it was stored when you took it out.
Why would you think that's how it's stored when it goes back in Michael?
Cause I wasn't looking,
I was ripping it open.
You were looking at it.
I was just trying to get to it.
There's a difference.
I was grabbing,
not looking precisely.
I was actually stabbing,
not grabbing,
stabbing,
not grabbing.bing not grabbing
there's a good shirt uh here's another shirt fuck you oh um face jam on the tag
yep this is good it's the perfect size it's very rich it's very sweet oh the chocolate
you're holding the mug while you're saying it sounds like you were talking you're like it's
really good and you're like it's rich and i went size. You were talking, you were like, it's really good, and you're like, it's rich, and I went,
that's weird.
It's sweet,
and then I went,
what the fuck?
I was talking about the candy.
And gosh darn it,
people like it.
I'm going to rate this pretty high.
I think it's an 85.
Bro,
that is delicious.
Yeah,
it's real good.
It's light.
I like the texture.
The little crisp in there.
I'm going to give it a 90.
Oh, nice. That's a delicious little snack yep i would hate having to open everyone yeah yeah well it's a little
deterrent yeah uh 87.5 don't slow me down get out of my way that's good um get out of my way
i bought the food now get the fuck out of my way thank you mara for sending us snacks you can send
us snacks as well for sending us a good snack.
Yes, a very good snack.
Very rarely get those.
Yeah, when's the last time
we had a good snack?
I don't know.
I just want to stop
and sit on it for a second.
Thank you.
Let's savor that.
You can send us good snacks
to Face Jam,
Care of Eric Bedore,
1901 East 51st Street,
Austin, Texas,
78723.
Do the bad snacks
go to the same address?
Yes, the bad snacks
go to the same address.
Grumpy Monkey Bug and Sneaky Monkey Shirt and Sign are on sale now.
That all sounds so stupid.
Grumpy Monkey Mug.
Is that a Grand Cru Slam?
Yes, absolutely.
It's when you get the Sneaky Monkey Mug.
It's like when you go to any restaurant that has dumb names.
Can I get the egg slot?
Can I get the Sneaky Monkey Shirt? Can I get the egg slut? Can I get the sneaky monkey shirt?
Can I get the grumpy monkey mug?
Thank you.
You can go to store.roosterteeth.com to grab that.
And some Face Jam decals.
Got some cool Face Jam decals on the store.
You can follow us at Face Jam Pod on Instagram.
The I did that decals finally are pointing at good things.
Yes.
It's because we did that.
They're out there pointing.
Yeah.
Can I tell you, I've been wearing the track Yes. Yeah. It's because we did that. They're out there planting. Yeah. I,
can I tell you,
I've been wearing the track suit.
Yeah.
Which we've talked about and I've been wearing nonstop.
I wash that thing
like four times a week.
Yeah.
I literally
washed the pants yesterday
or like,
sorry,
the day before.
I took them out of the dryer yesterday,
put them on
and then cleaned my backyard
and got them dirty
and washed them again before i
left the house they're fantastic i wore them the whole suit like the entire time i was in new jersey
for the holidays i oh yeah i barely wore any of my other clothes because again my mother just kept
doing laundry so i kept going wash this wash this wash this so i've been strutting it and i also i
also had in my travel bag a bunch of those stickers I brought and I left them at my mother's house.
And I'm like,
just spread these around.
Awesome.
If you see anywhere,
like put them at the kids,
put them on the stop sign.
Yep.
Hell yeah.
I did that.
We're in the clear.
That's good.
Yeah.
We're absolved.
Hell yeah.
Jordan,
you want to take us out?
Yeah.
I don't see why not.
Okay.
I think,
I think we're done here.
Yeah.
Right.
And subscribe and tell the friend about the
show where we eat food
and rate the food thank
you for listening as
always look forward to
that track suit in a
couple months yeah
eventually save your
money because I can
guarantee you it's gonna
be a lot just because
it's I mean it's nice to
shit it's fucking high
quality it's it's it
really is and it's it's
a full body suit I mean
look you put this on and
zip it up you don't need
to wear anything you
could be completely nude.
Yep.
It covers from ankles to neck.
Yep.
Okay.
All the important parts.
I'm just saying, unless you're worried about your little tootsies getting, you know, snapped
and sold online, which they will sell on the dark web.
Uh-huh.
Other than that, you're in the clear, though.
So, hey, start saving up for uh christmas or whatever made up
holiday you give a shit about patrick's day is coming i'm including christmas it's also made up
it's all made up everything's made up orthodox 2023 happy orthodox christmas guys it all just
seems so unorthodox We'll see you next time.