100% Eat - Dickey's BBQ Pit King’s Hawaiian Spicy Chicken and Cheddar Sandwich

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Dickey's BBQ Pit King’s Hawaiian Spicy Chicken and Cheddar Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the need fo...r a restaurant like this, Michael's cool cup, Dickey's Succession, and I Did That Stickers on sale NOW! Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/FACEJAM) HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/FACEJAM16 and use code facejam16) and DoorDash (DoorDash app, enter code FACEJAM) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth production. I do the intro. Okay, so you said are you ready? Uh-huh. And who said yes? We all said yes. No, he did. All of us said yes. Just him, alone, said it. Nope. And so I was curious, why did you start it? If he's ready, he doesn't do anything. They all said yes. He doesn't do any- it was like, yes, boom, started it.
Starting point is 00:00:33 I don't talk until the intro's read, so if you guys are looking at me for input, you're gonna have to read the card. It's just crazy. Jordan comes in on cue every time. Every time. Every single time. You can't trick me. You cannot trick me. I know what this is. This is a on cue every time. Every time. Every single time. You can't trick me. You cannot trick me. Welcome to Face Jam.
Starting point is 00:00:46 This is a test. Welcome. Now do you want me to do it? Yeah, yeah, go for it. Because now you seem fired up. Nope, I'm good. I'm ready. How are your legs?
Starting point is 00:00:53 Oh, we knew you were ready. Welcome to Face Jam, the shit show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I guess I'm your host. I mean, Eric starts the show. Maybe he should do the intro guess I'm your host. I mean, Eric starts the show. Maybe he should do the intro. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:07 I heard people were talking about his rating last time that he didn't get. People were Nick. People were Nick. He said, are you going to listen to the last episode since he wasn't on it? And he went, no, I already heard what Eric thought about it. Which was very weird. Which I said he doesn't. But now this makes a lot more sense, though, because now he's going off.
Starting point is 00:01:24 I'm the cue to the show. This is crazy. I'm your former host. Nick doesn't. But now this makes a lot more sense, though, because now he's going off him to cue the show. This is crazy. I'm your former host. Nick doesn't even know how this show works. I'm your former host, Michael Jones, alongside my former co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you with these shocking turn of events of no longer hosting? Yeah, very, very concerned that I might be out of a job now. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I was really looking forward to doing this show, but. We can still do it. Oh, he'll allow us to do it. That's very kind of him. Whatever gets us to the finish line. Wow! Okay. We should be bowing down to Eric.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I stood at a printer for 10 plus minutes. Yeah, you were there for a while. That's why we started talking about... You were gone questionably long. That's what brought up Jonathan Pryce. This laptop will not connect to that printer. So I had to print everything off of my phone. Get in.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Which I've never connected to this printer ever. It just found it and went, you ain't got a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, just open it. How old is your laptop? I don't know. Looks pretty old. What explains it?
Starting point is 00:02:18 Did you get it with your car in a parking lot? From a Portuguese lady? I mean, it came with the car. It was in the car. Yeah, that's what I mean. it came with the car, but yeah. It was in the car. Yeah, that's what I mean. The car smelled like cigarettes and this laptop. The car smelled like cigarettes. It was a lot.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Who smokes? Like, what are we doing? Who smokes in a car? I'll tell you who smokes Dickie's barbecue pit because today we had the King's Hawaiian spicy chicken and cheddar sandwich. We did. That is a segue.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah, that place smelled like barbecue. It sure did. It was hot. It was hot and cheddar sandwich. We did. That is a segue. Yeah, that place smelled like barbecue. It sure did. It was hot. It was hot and onion-y. It looked like a Subway, but also like a Pizza Hut from the 80s. Kind of wood like pizza. They were trying very hard to not make it look like a former
Starting point is 00:03:00 Subway. Yeah, they failed. I think they were trying hard not to work and they succeeded on that. Really bum trying hard not to work and they were, and they succeeded on that. Really bummed that we came in and ordered. The one guy was slowly putting knives together.
Starting point is 00:03:09 What was that guy doing? He had his own little workstation. It was like, he had a separate, like, station set up like near the entrance where he, like, co-opted real estate
Starting point is 00:03:19 from the front. It was like a craft station at, like, a preschool or something. You weren't allowed to get your own drink except you were allowed to get your own drink. It was all blocked off, but you could go through it.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Yeah. Yeah. You had to walk around him. I don't understand why that was there. He set up like a bunch of tables in an L shape in front of the soda fountain. Which is the self-serve, right? It wasn't like. So I went and got my drink and then stood behind the desks and was like, I work here.
Starting point is 00:03:42 George was playing pretend. And then even when we left too, the guy behind the real counter, not the fake counter, was like, I work here. George was playing pretend. And then even when we left too, the guy behind the real counter, not the fake counter, was like, you need any refills? It's like, well, they're on my side. What if I said yes? Would you say, well, they're over there? Was that his way of saying,
Starting point is 00:03:56 if you want more, there it is. I think if you said yes, that was technically your application for employment and now you work at Dickie's BBQ. Yeah. I think we get it i think if you i think if you said yes that was technically your application for employment and now you work at dickie's barbecue yeah i think we did more work when we were there than those guys i think you might be right uh there were three people working there in a restaurant third guy showed up halfway through no they were there the whole time and were just hanging out at
Starting point is 00:04:22 one of the tables oh that, that's who that was. I thought he was a customer. Because he left and came back in. No, that was just a person who also worked there. He just fell in the seats to make it look more crowded. Yeah, but his mistake was still wearing his work clothes. Yes. Because it kind of gave it away.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Either he's an employee or a super fan. A big fan. I fucking love Dick. He's like, yeah, wait, what's up? I just put the shirt on and I sit there. It's just a lot of confidence. We'll just walk in behind the counter and be like i work here we're starting the day maybe maybe that guy making the little table didn't work yeah somebody didn't work you're
Starting point is 00:04:54 saying it takes a lot of confidence but it didn't take that much we were behind a bunch of tables we were pretending like we worked there too you could just do it we got a big yellow cup yeah and all of our cups were cup that was we all had equal cups dreidel dreidel dreidel dude i there were so many surprises with big yellow cup uh-huh uh i saw on the menu after drinks it just said big yellow cup the only the only size they have right big yellow cup which honestly it is a big cup but if there's no other sizes, it's just the yellow cup. It's the only yellow cup option they have. Big is such a relative term. So we got it.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Compared to what? We got the big yellow cup, and we went to go get drinks, and I was like, I'll get some fruit punch. I had some fruit punch. How was it? I didn't even ask you how it tasted. So I started dispensing said fruit punch and I went, mmm, a little watered down. Now, in my old age, I'll water it down anyway.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Like iced tea, fruit punch, any of that shit, too much sugar. And I'll do maybe a third of water. Boy, this took care of it for me. It's built in. It was like one-eighth fruit punch. Like, straight up, can't even taste it. Like, it's got a red tinge there's no
Starting point is 00:06:05 flavor to that tinge it is uh it's uh it's like it's just water that's a little bit red yeah it's like you were gonna someone dropped a blood of a drop of blood in water but that would actually but you but i would taste that yeah that's true um and so i went okay whatever which is great because they didn't have it didn't seem to have a water option so no they had sprite which is what jordan got so anyway so then i was like oh that's great i sit down and i put the cup down i go what and i just keep putting the cup on the table and you guys like what's going on and i let go of it and the bottom of the cup is like bulged out yeah so it will stay uh-huh but it spins a little bit and you got to decide where it's gonna rest it was scary it'll stay but it's scary it's very scary and so her took some pictures of it and then
Starting point is 00:06:53 jordan kept trying to shake the table knock it over which he's doing right now can't shake this one i kept it by the way i'm playing with it right now because i thought this this is too good to pass up kind of like it's fascinating it's so fun to look at it's like the leaning tower i took some pictures but then when you were forcing it down you're like i'll get a video and so we're like it's fighting back so we started recording where you're pressing it down it's popping back up and then the guy walked over who like worked there to bring us food and he just went oh yeah cups do that sometimes it was just like he just goes what he just goes some cups are like that but doesn't even go doesn't even say do you want another one
Starting point is 00:07:30 not that i would have taken it because we said that first you should get another one and i said no way yep oh yeah what are you kidding we're having a blast this is a unique big yellow cup but apparently not that unique no yeah No. Yeah. You should have said, you should have said. Yeah, some of them are like that. Oh, what do I win? Yeah, what do I get for that? I don't know, a hassle? I think you get a hassle.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Maybe a spill. Yeah. It depends. It was, so it didn't taste like fruit punch, and it was a bulgy cup. Yep. So your whole drink situation. It was out of whack. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:04 It was fun to play with it until we sat down to actually eat. Yep. So your whole drink situation. It was out of whack. It was fun to play with it until we sat down to actually eat. Yeah. And like I take a drink and then you put it down and you kind of gotta let go but like a Jenga piece you're like wait wait wait. Oh okay. But then you still think it's done but it's not because the second you shake the table it's going flying. It
Starting point is 00:08:19 really is like just a little. If it was if it wasn't quite bowed out as much as it is it would be like fine it would just be what a silly cup it's right on that edge of if it was just a little more you would not be able to just want to be able to stand up it is so close right on the precipice i mean it is so close to tipping over and that's why it's close we're all looking at it. I'm staring right at it. There's so much going on, too. Share your adventures with hashtag
Starting point is 00:08:50 BigYellowCup. I could share this whole adventure. We're doing it now. Can someone hashtag BigYellowCup and link this podcast? Dickies, eight decades of Q. I assume you mean barbecue. And then there's someone in a little DeLorean looking car
Starting point is 00:09:05 yeah but sticking their head and waving out the window no one's driving no which is dangerous right and then there's a phone
Starting point is 00:09:11 with a cord on it what are those I don't know it's crazy the cup is looks like it's from 1992 it actually looks like the old subway cups
Starting point is 00:09:24 it really remember when subway was like more yellow yellow and brown were their colors it looks really old yeah Looks like it's from 1992. It actually looks like the old Subway cups. It really. Remember when Subway was like more yellow? Yellow and brown were their colors? It looks really old. Yeah. Not like they've been sitting around, but maybe. There was also a how to deal with choking sign in the restaurant. That was like behind the counter.
Starting point is 00:09:40 That looks like it had been there just as long as these cups. Just above the fryer were two posters. One was temperatures to fry food at, and the other one was how to give someone the Heimlich maneuver. Also not very encouraging. Start wailing on them.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Lean them over the fryer and just pound on them. It was peeling and it turned yellow and stuff. It was like, oh peeling and like it like turned yellow and stuff it was like oh boy I don't think OSHA makes a lot of visits to Dickies
Starting point is 00:10:08 I don't think anybody makes a lot of visits to this Dickies the only people who work there and us fucking weird spot and not what I expected
Starting point is 00:10:15 at all when we were going to I thought it was going to be more like a Rudy's it was not no I thought it was gonna be
Starting point is 00:10:24 like a shopping mall it was like a subway and like a strip mall yes I thought it was going to be. It was like a shopping mall. It was like a subway and like a strip mall. Yes. I thought, you know how like the KFC has like its own independent building. I thought that's what we were going to. They definitely had neighbors. And everyone was going to all of the neighbors. Everyone was going to the neighbors.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah. The only person that walked in while we were eating, other than the person who worked there, was a guy doing like a food order to like pick up who's ordering this right like doordash style i don't know but he was really excited though to pick up the food yeah he was like the guy handed it right to him and he was like oh yeah he's like yeah and then he left and it was like, what happened? What is happening? I was really excited. Things are different up and around Rocky.
Starting point is 00:11:09 It's a whole different. Oh, that's right. It's a different city. This was pretty far for us to go. This was like a 25 minute drive. We ate it there. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Which is Michael's suggestion. I thought it was a good idea. Such a long drive. Some of us are sleepy now. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. We ate barbecue and it's like, all right, let's get ready. Fuck. are sleepy now oh my god goodness we ate barbecue and it's like all right let's get ready fuck so uh the difference in like the conversation going there and then back yeah like struggling to like oh michael mine was mine was the same a lot of talking in your car okay so so what happened was i had i had uh shit i had to do
Starting point is 00:11:41 this morning and then that ended up running really late. And instead of driving all over the place and then coming back here and making you guys wait longer and then going there, I was like, let's just meet there. We can just meet up there because it's way out of the fucking way. And then we can eat there because otherwise there's no sense in me going at all. It would just be like, go get the food, bring it back, and I'll meet you here. So I was like, I'll meet you at the restaurant. Let's eat there because it's like over 20 minutes away. We don't want cold food. And then we'll drive back. So you guys went together, and then I went there'll meet you at the restaurant. Let's eat there. Cause it's like over 20 minutes away. We don't want cold food. And then we'll drive back.
Starting point is 00:12:06 So you guys went together and then I went there and we had the food. We went to leave and we're walking out to the car. And I, I went, Nick's coming with me. And he was like, okay. And he starts walking over and I go,
Starting point is 00:12:16 I go, what the fuck are you doing? I'm just kidding. Get out of here. But then, but then he kind of looks back and forth and I started walking away and then he still keeps following me. I was like,
Starting point is 00:12:23 no, no, I was kidding. You're not coming with me. I was like, no, no, I was kidding. You're not coming with me. I said, that would be weird. Get back in the other car. And I drove back here by myself. It was so funny to watch the look on Nick's face being like, I don't know what to do now.
Starting point is 00:12:38 So he's still joking. I'm going to go. Oh, you got me. Oh, man. This guy definitely wants some company. Oh, man. But you said something. You said something happened.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't know if you want to save that for later. Oh, yeah. We could talk about it now. On our way back, we had an adventure where. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Eric had the biggest reaction. So there was just.
Starting point is 00:13:03 We're driving down a road to get to like the road that's on the side of the freeway. We're on a one-way road going to a one-way road. The lane opposite of us is on the other side of a median. A car just starts driving towards us in our lane on the side of our road coming down a one-way freeway service road they had to go down a one-way road to go down the wrong way on our road and then just drove in the middle like with the median and i just kept going no fucking way i couldn't fucking believe like yeah it was just it was happening and like I was just like
Starting point is 00:13:46 what is this lady doing and Eric's just narrating going it's still happening she's still going how far did she have to go I wonder where she came from because we go around the bend and there's like a parking lot right there but maybe she came out of there but even if she did
Starting point is 00:14:03 come out even further even if she did it's not like you turn the corner and there's like the little oh you can turn right in here it was like a block down before you could turn in so she must have driven and those entire blocks the wrong way those front roads are not like uh sparse they're like there's always traffic on them. And people are going like 70 on them. Insane. All I thought was, oh, she's going to fucking hit us. Yeah. There's no way. She's already driving the wrong way twice. She clearly doesn't care about
Starting point is 00:14:34 anything. Didn't give a fuck. Just started driving on the median. As we pass her, I look over and she's just like... She's just hanging out. Really? Having a great time. She doesn't look like what she's doing is wrong. Was it, so you didn't clock it as like an older,
Starting point is 00:14:48 confused person or I think, I think she was an older lady for sure. She's confused in her actions, but doesn't know that confident in what she's doing. Yes. Yeah. And I think that's, I think that she,
Starting point is 00:15:00 I think she was going over to Dickies to get a job. I think she learned, like, if I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just going to act like I belong here. And she's driving down the wrong way. Why is everyone driving the wrong way? I didn't have that adventure, but I did, for a while, drive behind a Model X that had the license plate fuel-less.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Are you serious? Oh, man, they're so cool. Shared the L, though. Shared the L. Yeah. Well, you know, you only have so many characters. You have so many characters. What can you serious? Oh, man, they're so cool. Shared the L, though. Shared the L. Yeah. Well, you know, you only have so many characters. You have so many characters. What can you do?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Just in case you didn't know. Not get a custom plate. That's not an option. Did you think that they were so cool the whole time? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, I went, why doesn't Jordan have that license plate?
Starting point is 00:15:40 We had an idea. I'm not cool enough. We had an idea on the way to the restaurant because those uh i did that stickers will be out by the time this podcast comes out the stickers will be out are you sure yep i've been talking on for so long he's certain yep it's i got i got the confirmation oh baby i got the confirmation yesterday they will be out by the year they're passing bills and shit i know they're trying to solve this issue. But that's right. One of the bills they passed was literally called the stop face jam I did.
Starting point is 00:16:09 No! Act. Dude, come on. We were talking about we should go film ourselves putting the stickers on gas pumps. But I said, yeah, but we should drive Jordan's Tesla everywhere. Drive it up to the pump. And be like, oh, just get gas. And then start putting those up.
Starting point is 00:16:24 And then pose next to it. I did that. Go up to people. Who are like oh just get gas and then start putting those up and pose next to it i did that go up to people who are these guys they're funny whoa can you believe they did that oh my gosh sir this is clearly you so they but they are coming out yes they will be out by the time this podcast is out and they'll be sold out yeah there's a guy i posted a video uh hey good for you i think i told you you could do it thanks man using the switch fork uh-huh and a guy went i forgot these came out days ago i just checked the store and they're all sold out and it's like you missed the boat so hard but he might have caught the second boat like fucking crazy yeah if he it would have been great if he remembered like
Starting point is 00:17:01 you know a couple months from now like when we when we get the restart, he'll be like, oh, are those still available? And he just happens to check as soon as they go up. Well, maybe Eric will get more than 25 this time. I can't believe you. I can't believe it's only 25. By the way, right at the top here, what's your experience with Dickies? We skipped right over that. Yeah, well, never heard of it, never been there.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Never. Never heard of it. Heard about it for the first time yesterday. And to be clear, it's here yeah it's called dickie's barbecue pit because like looking it up because we were gonna meet there i was just like i just remember because you posted the food in it and i'm like oh yeah it's a place called dickie's and i looked it up i'm like there's none and i saw dickie's barbecue and i didn't think that was it i had to go back and check the posting i thought it was like a burger place right yeah and i was like oh that is it. I had to go back and check the posting. I thought it was like a burger place. And I was like, oh, that is it? Because what we're getting was a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:17:47 I didn't know it was a barbecue pit either. Apparently, it's a pretty big chain. Where? It's from Dallas. Oh. Well, it ain't big here. Dude, that had Dallas vibes. That whole shopping strip felt like Dallas vibes. Dude, you go just a little bit north of Austin, and you
Starting point is 00:18:03 might as well be in Dallas. Apparently, there was a Dickies in Austin, and it's closed, like every other fucking restaurant. You have to go way, way north or way, way south now. Unbelievable. But it's a chain. I'd never heard of it. Did you know about it?
Starting point is 00:18:18 Of course. Come on. Of course. He has one in San Antonio. He was saying that he'd rather go to what was it? Bill Miller's? Bill Marr? Bill Marr's barbecue?
Starting point is 00:18:32 Get a load of this barbecue. He's smart. Yeah, I like how he's very smart. I like how irreligious he is. Bill Marr's barbecue would fucking suck. He's very smart. I like how irreligious he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Maher's barbecue would fucking suck. Every time you go to order, and everyone just talks down to you.
Starting point is 00:18:58 It's like, oh, you want barbecue? What are you, a Republican? Yeah, and then for some reason, everyone in the restaurant class, you're just like, I just want the sandwich what the fuck he's got a panel of other people who are just like also railing into you oh Bill Maher's fuck Bill Maher's barbecue what is Bill Miller's
Starting point is 00:19:17 it's a barbecue place I've never I don't know a bunch of them all over the place I've driven by them but I've just I don't know anything about it it's like a little it's what you expected Dickies to be where they have their own buildings and stuff. Bill Miller's to me being, you know, a transplant
Starting point is 00:19:31 is a barbecue place of less than Rudy's caliber and really the only time I ever knew people would fire by it is for breakfast tacos. Yes. It's just like a quick fine breakfast taco. I don't know anyone that ever ate lunch
Starting point is 00:19:48 or said, let's get barbecue from Bill Miller's. It would have to be a pinch. It ain't Saturday afternoon going, let's go to Bill Miller's! Everyone get in the car! There was one right near the old office.
Starting point is 00:20:03 That's where all the breakfast tacos would come from. that's it yeah great breakfast tacos bad barbecue yeah what do you think about barbecue places that are chains like that because i really like rudy's i think yeah i think rudy's is the top tier of that but there's you know there's a ceiling right to that as well like you're not gonna get it's not gonna be be as good as a place like I don't know like Salt Lake or Mickleweight. I don't think Salt Lake's that much better than Rudy's. That's true. That's a bad example.
Starting point is 00:20:33 They have good bread. Like like the original one down in sure the Dripping Springs or wherever the fuck it is. Yeah. But you Nick I think I think local I think local better quality than a rudy's but not fuck you wait three hours in line like a franklin's is terry blacks yeah oh yeah blacks is like a busy like more authentic barbecue place busier that's more authentic place than rudy's but still not crazy you can get your food in 25 minutes That's where I take people who are from out of town and they were like, oh, Austin barbecue. Yeah, without
Starting point is 00:21:07 the, you know, three hour wait. When I discovered, when I discovered Mickleweight which is a trailer down the street from where Franklin is, like that place is blown up and we'll like run out of food like before noon. But that was like such an eye opening thing. It was like people are waiting since like 6
Starting point is 00:21:23 a.m. down the street when you can get barbecue as good, if not better, like just from this trailer here. It's that thing where I didn't grow up with barbecue. Nick is doing two big thumbs up. He's like Ebert and Roper over here. I didn't grow up with barbecue. So the intricacies of like what is very good in like barbecue. Yeah. It's very thin for me where people are going like in like barbecue it's very thin
Starting point is 00:21:46 for me where people are going like it's only this good but this is like the place I've got like three layers I don't have like twelve there's three brackets Rudy's is my perfect reliably very good if I eat something I go this isn't as good as Rudy's
Starting point is 00:22:02 or this is better than Rudy's that's mostly it that's really mostly it the places. Or, this is better than Rudy's. There you go. That's mostly it. That's really mostly it. The places that are going to be better than Rudy's are places like Terry Black's and Micklewaite and Franklin and stuff. And Dickie's? Question mark? No. Well, I actually don't know. I don't think we
Starting point is 00:22:17 eat barbecue there. That's a tease. We had a sandwich. I mean, well, I mean, you know, it was Hawaiian spicy chicken, they probably barbecued it up somehow. I mean, I think that the chicken was probably at one point barbecued, yes. I was a little worried whether or not they followed the chart they had
Starting point is 00:22:35 about how long to cook the chicken. I hope this is cooked. Some of the food was the right temperature. The mac and cheese was cold. It always is. It was weird. Should I read this haiku about it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:51 That's what I was waiting for. Oh. What's up? I thought you were just going to call for it. No, he was doing it. I saw him getting his phone out. I was pulling it up and then. He was pulling it up.
Starting point is 00:22:59 He was pulling it up. I didn't want to make him nervous. So I was just looking at you. I wanted to give him privacy. Now you kept giving me looks like what do you want? They got a lot of stuff over here. Like a bird flies to your window. You're like, so I was just looking at you. I wanted to give him privacy. Now you kept giving me looks like, what do you want? They got a lot of stuff over here. Like a bird flies to your window. You're like, well, don't look at it.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Hey, watch out with that phone and what's on it, because apparently the FBI can do whatever they want. If they can go to the president, they can go to anyone. Turns out anyone can be held accountable. No one's above the law, not even you. Just a regular person today today is war yeah if they could come after the president who's next you're the other other criminal the other person the judge signs the warrant for now read your haiku if you dare uh i wrote this when i didn't know anything
Starting point is 00:23:43 about dickies and it was just about it was just about a hawaiian thing excellent aloha a texas luau pineapple on my brisket aloha to that parentheses the goodbye one oh okay okay you did know we were eating chicken well i was thinking about like other other places that might do hawai mashups. Chicken also is two syllables. Like, get a place brisket with chicken. I think pineapple on chicken doesn't sound as, like, polarizing as pineapple on brisket. I mean, you're not wrong. You're not wrong.
Starting point is 00:24:16 That's just what we ate. Maybe it sounds wild because they don't offer it. But it isn't what we ate. There's no pineapple on this thing. I think we're arguing two different points. We're both doing a great job. It could have been.
Starting point is 00:24:29 I feel like there was some pineapple flavorings. Oh, yeah? Yeah. All right. I think it was brushed into the sauce. Yeah, and that's sweet.
Starting point is 00:24:35 That's what made it so sweet. What do you think the sweet? Mm-hmm. Wow. I'm impressed you have more than two facts about Dickies. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Because if I don't know something it doesn't usually matter I'll say one thing it's never a great sign when they start out short and get much longer that means Eric just decided you can see where Eric starts adding in what we call flavor text
Starting point is 00:24:58 where Eric starts trying out his type 5 I've been saving this one I guess I can include one sentence about dickies i've been up since 3 a.m wow well who who did that to you no no i'm just me i don't know independent of this so you got some early morning i hope we get some bill maher type material at the bottom i like my uh dickies like i like my Bill Maher barbecue dry. Real dry. Listen to this fact. Marmy.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Opened in 1941 in Dallas, Texas, Travis Dickie's original store had sawdust on the floors and only sold beef, brisket, ham, ribs, and milk. Sawdust? Was the sawdust on the floors and only sold beef, brisket, ham, ribs, and milk. Sawdust? Was the sawdust on the floor a feature? I don't know. Or was it just kind of left over? That fact came from the Dickies website, and I feel like they were really proud of it.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Sawdust on the floor and nobody wanted to eat there for some reason. Well, it's because if people are choking, they give them the Heimlich and they throw it up on the floor. Right, and then it's easier to clean up. Just put the sawdust down. When you're drinking your milk that you've bought there, you can spill it everywhere. Milk and ham, my favorite. Travis Dickey, this was a side project. In his main job, he was a janitor, so he had a lot of extra sawdust for vomit.
Starting point is 00:26:18 This is 1941. Travis Dickey, a draft dodger or what? Probably. Wow. Unbelievable. Is Dickie a draft dodger or what? Probably. Wow.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Unbelievable. A 40-pound block of cheddar cheese is set out on buffet for customers to help themselves at all Dickie's locations. What the fuck? What the fuck? Not at that one. Not at that one. There was no pound cheese. There was no cheese. I feel like we definitely would have saw it and helped ourselves to some cheese.
Starting point is 00:26:43 I would have found any cheese. I would have sniffed out that cheese. You would have saw it and helped ourselves. I would have found any time. You would have sniffed it out. Exactly. The whole time I was going there. I'm like, wonder where this cheese is going to be. I was wondering why you were looking around so nervously. This is so insane.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Where is the cheese going to be? No cheese. I want some cheese now. I'm owed cheese. Yep. 40 pound block. Unbelievable. Do you think they have like the little like cheese scraper cutter thing that
Starting point is 00:27:04 you could just go ahead and like, no, honestly, it's a Dallas, Texas place. So you probably just grab with your little mitt block. Unbelievable. Do you think they have the little cheese scraper cutter thing that you could just go ahead and... No, honestly, it's a Dallas, Texas place, so you probably just grab it with your little mitts. Yeah, just break off a piece. Throw it on the sawdust on the ground for some seasoning. Roll it around in the sawdust. It's yum, yum.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Pond blocks of cheese. Oh, that's what we call the Dallas seasoning. After a booming expansion, Dickie's Barbecue Pit closed 113 locations in 2018 and terminated 89 franchisees, which amount to 17% of their business. That is a huge number of dick pits left behind from a restaurant we had to drive 30 minutes to get to. Where have all the dick pits gone? Where? Where are, where are are there's that many locations holy shit i didn't there are like i thought there'd be like seven there are like
Starting point is 00:27:50 113 580 locations there are like so where yeah where are they how am i missing yeah and then and started in dallas you think like even if they expanded there'd be 150 between here and dallas exactly yeah like attached to a bucky's or something right now how have i never heard of it for a place i've just never seen i've been all over the state i think maybe they go to they settle in little towns like round rock and tuck in yeah and subway style you know sleepy little round rock just driving down the wrong side of the road hopefully somebody comes to our restaurant beep beep where's the cheese oh my god in 2019 a data breach no allowed dickies
Starting point is 00:28:34 customers credit information to be stolen and sold on the dark web which forced dickies to pay 2.35 million dollars in a settlement agreement Dickie said they're investigating how a hacker got into their servers because surely Uncle Jed and the boys was keeping an eye on them till they got plum tuckered out and dozed off, leaving them servers ripe for the picking. All right, Eric, that was a good one. That was a good one. Uncle Jed, how could you?
Starting point is 00:29:07 I like the idea that when they're awake, it's fine. Like a security guard, it's a physical person watching a server. I picture a bunch of guys sitting on a porch. He's got one of those Uncle Jed's got one of those
Starting point is 00:29:22 big straw hats and a piece of hay in his mouth. Just a bunch of servers behind him. Their nephew, Jethro, strumming on the banjo. Not getting any of this information. Had a little bit too much Dickies, though, and he dozed off. See? It's the meat sweats.
Starting point is 00:29:43 That's why you never taste the product. I think they should be looking at Uncle Jed's. Yeah. Holy shit. I wonder if that's why they don't do 40 pound blocks of cheese anymore. You think that's related to the data breach? Somebody stole all the cheese.
Starting point is 00:29:55 They got in through the cheese, I tell you. Well, I think between the cheese and the barbecue, you're doing naps and bathroom breaks galore. Oh, definitely. I was thinking they hid inside the cheese like Ocean's Eleven style. Whoa! There's a small man. You could easily fit that guy.
Starting point is 00:30:13 You could easily fit that guy in a 40-pound block of cheese. And he bursts out. It's closed at night. It's where all the servers are. Damn, dude. He'd have to eat his way out, probably. The top of the cheese block opens like a little box and then he rappels out
Starting point is 00:30:27 and the jazzy music is playing. This is a good idea. Meanwhile, Ving Rhames is in the van. That's why, I don't know if you noticed, the first thing we did when we got to Vicky's, I checked the carpet to see if it was the same as on the security monitor. It checked out. Why did he put on the mask for a second
Starting point is 00:30:44 and then take it off? Anybody else see that? Okay. He put one inside the cheese. He put it on to do a thing and then took it off. He was volunteering to be inside the cheese. But like, not only can the audience not see him, I barely saw him. Yeah, I was looking...
Starting point is 00:30:59 I'm looking away from Nick 90% of the time during the show. That was just for you. I caught it. All right, and the final fact. He scrounged up one last one. I'm sure it'll be mostly fact. It's all fact.
Starting point is 00:31:12 At a Salt Lake City Dickies in 2016, a woman was hospitalized after drinking an iced tea that was mistakenly mixed with six cups of powdered chemicals that are used for cleaning the deep fryer. Dickies claimed that the worker believed the substance was sugar due to the white powdery look and I ask who among us has not made that mistake of seeing
Starting point is 00:31:33 a white powder on the workbench in their uncle's friend's garage that they were told specifically to stay out of but they just wanted to see what it smelled like too. Did it smell like too. Did it smell like sugar? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Oh, my God. She really drank deep-fried cleaner. She's like, oh, my throat burns, and she was hospitalized for two weeks. Oh, my God. Damn. Dude, I mean, I guess I believe it, for two weeks. Oh my God. Damn. Dude. I mean, I guess I believe it
Starting point is 00:32:08 like based on like the people we saw working there. Like I was a little worried they, you know, they knew what kind of sauce they were putting on
Starting point is 00:32:15 our sandwiches. I believe it because assuming Eric copy pasted like anything he does, um, more so than on the accusation side,
Starting point is 00:32:24 right? You get the people that fake, like, I found this in my food. There's so many specifics of how many cups were put in that it sounds legit. I think that was Dickies giving that information,
Starting point is 00:32:36 not this woman. No. Going, and they mixed the chemicals? Six cups. I saw. He just kept going. He thought it was six cups of sugar that's a lot of sugar uh-huh but it's even more eric you had deep fry cleaner you had the lemonade
Starting point is 00:32:52 when we went there yeah my throat is fucking screaming yeah wait is that why my fruit punch got messed up that's why i'm sweating oh no that. Is that blood? Oh, I told you. It's your own. You're taking a drink and your own blood is going into it. I guess I got fruit punch. And those are all the fat. We'll see if Michael makes it to the end of this episode.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Oh, man. I'll power through. Yeah, we'll see what we can do. Dickies is a restaurant that I don't believe should exist. Wow. On what principle? It is like if Subway decided that they were making barbecue now and it's that caliber of experience and it's kind of like that but it doesn't even have like the efficiency and like not at all the built-in things that subway has that makes them able to just like make a billion of them. Yeah. But like it's just like
Starting point is 00:34:06 they're like we see like chain barbecue places we can do this kind of worse and kind of scrape by. It's a place that didn't franchise. It started in like 1941 and didn't start franchising until 1994. And that is like
Starting point is 00:34:22 that's very strange to me. Imagine getting into like a franchise, a restaurant fit like Dickies, baby. 50 years later, you're like, we're going to do this franchise. And then now there's like 600.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Maybe, maybe Travis Dickie had a stranglehold on it. And then when his Dickie got strangled, his kids were like, let them buy us. You know what I mean? Maybe one of them went to a McDonald's for the first time and was like, how they got so many of these?
Starting point is 00:34:49 How they got so many? Uncle Jed, look into it. They were forced to only eat Dickies, barbecues their whole lives. They turned like 19 and went to a McDonald's and went, what the fuck? It's like a Rum Springa for the Amish kids. I just don't think that like this
Starting point is 00:35:07 restaurant serves a purpose. They serve barbecue. But like not. To what end, Michael? In hundreds of locations somewhere. It's somewhere. They're all tucked away. You just need to get off the freeway long enough and go in another direction
Starting point is 00:35:23 and maybe you'll stumble upon one. There were so many other places that we could have eaten at that were in that strip mall specifically. Yeah, there's a Wendy's. That's most cases. Right. But I mean, like, if you're going to get something to eat and you end up at a Dickie's. It's never a good sign when you're in the restaurant and you see somebody walking up to it. And you're like, oh, someone else is
Starting point is 00:35:46 going to come here. And they immediately like at the last second veer off. That just means you know more than they do. The pita place right next door. I was holding my breath because I thought the secret was out. But then they veered off and I went the secret is safe with you, man. I still can't believe we were the only people. If we
Starting point is 00:36:01 start to finish. If we're not filming today. Yep. What were they doing at our what were they doing at only people if we do if we're not start to finish if we're not filming today yep like what were they doing at hour what were they doing at noon right it was like lunch we were the lunch rush 12 40 yeah it was insane there was nothing and it wasn't very weird it wasn't like oh finally some people are showing up or something no everyone's everyone's parking in front of it to go to other places the guy who like helped us when we first ordered was like going and like putting on gloves like time to get to work it's like what did you think you were doing been here since i opened at 8 a.m time to serve some barbecue it's just a very bizarre restaurant concept to me like barbecue in a fast barbecue and is very strange to me.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Barbecue in something that looks like a Jersey Mike's is weird. I'll say, at least in Texas, most barbecue places sort of fit this mold of just how it's like the counter where you order and the tables and like the spacing and shit. You can usually see them smoking it behind you. This, again, to not drive it home, but I will here, was just like a subway. It was exactly like a subway. I've never seen a barbecue place like this. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:37:12 But they're not making the barbecue in front of you when you're going along. Well, yeah, they are. They just put up the wall so you can't see. What do you mean? You can't see where that chicken's coming from. What's the problem? You saw them cook the onion tanglers. What's the issue?
Starting point is 00:37:23 I definitely smelled them cook the onion tanglers. That place became Onion City when it was tangler time. Why do they call them that? They're just onion rings, right? Yeah, they were just onion rings. They weren't rings at all. I guess because they were like... What are you talking about? Well, they weren't actually onion rings. What do you mean? They weren't rings, period.
Starting point is 00:37:41 They were fried onion things. I mean, I'm totally agreeing with you. Except the fact that they were basically onion things. I mean, I'm totally agreeing with you. They're like little- Except the fact that they were basically onion rings. I mean, ring is in the name. It wasn't no ring. I'm just saying. Some of them were entire rings. Were they really?
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yeah. Most of them were like little, like, I would describe them as delicious little fried hairs. You could call them tanglers. Yeah. They were definitely tangled. They were like thin little fucked up, like evil looking French fries. I think they were red onion. French fries from a broken home.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Like if someone cursed a French fry. Yes. You know what I mean? It got all twisted. I would describe it as gnarled. Yes. Like a thin gnarled French fry. And so many of them.
Starting point is 00:38:23 And so salty. So very salty. So very salty. I can still taste the salt. Incredibly overwhelming flavor for something that was just supposed to be one part of a meal. Yeah. They gave you like a sack full. It was like a sack.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Like a bushel. But they also did the thing where they're so thin, it's annoying because you have to eat like 50 at a time. Yeah, you really got to get a whole bunch. Because it's like air if you eat one. And so it's kind of like, you know how annoying it is when you have a bag of chips or something and there's crumbs at the bottom of the bag? Well, the whole bag was crumbs. That's a great way to describe exactly what it was. I was like, I'm constantly just like scooping and scraping even though it's full.
Starting point is 00:39:00 I was like, this sucks. Even the taste aside, the experience, awful. Yeah. Yeah. It was just. You need a special utensil. Re was like, this sucks. Even the taste aside, the experience, awful. Yeah. Yeah. It was just... You need a special utensil. Re- Like, untangle them.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. Leave them a circle. I did like... It's fine. I did like that we were all on the same page with our whole order. Yeah. We went there,
Starting point is 00:39:16 and it was like, all right, four of this sandwich, and it has like two sides each, and we all looked and went, mac and cheese, ooh, onion tanglers. They were at the bottom, so I didn't see them, and then I think Nick or Michael said it, and I was like, ooh cheese onion tanglers they were at the bottom so i didn't see them and
Starting point is 00:39:25 then i think uh nick or michael said it and i was like oh onion yeah i think i said i want to get tangled yeah or something like that and then it was like like what an easy meal the guy's like all right eight sides total i went four mac and cheese four onion tanglers and he went yeah all right i'll be honest for me i mostly that was fine with me but also this guy was already complaining about being tired and you know how he gets when we want to order food you can order whatever you want he's been up for 12 hours 12 hours whoa yeah you could have fucking deal you could have got back to me when you're up for 63 hours straight no that sounds like hell I don't think I've ever done that. Did you do that? Last week. Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:40:06 No, you did not. I didn't. Okay. Can't prove them right, can't prove them wrong. Gotta take them in as weird. Was it cool? No. Why'd you do it? It wasn't a choice. I just didn't feel
Starting point is 00:40:22 the need to complain about it on social media. You know, get those sympathy likes. yeah, I can't sleep clicks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why did you? Click a like for my sadness. Why did you do it? It wasn't a choice.
Starting point is 00:40:36 It's really just like a very somber note. You know, sometimes it rolls around. It's two o'clock. I'm going to go to bed any minute now. And then it's five and you start to think, maybe I lost. Maybe I got to chalk this one up as a loss. But tonight, don't even. Dude, I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Oh, fuck. It's tomorrow already. Oh, my God. I think you might have some sort of problem. Well, I did. Oh, you fell asleep finally? Okay. Problem solved.
Starting point is 00:41:02 I'm back to four hours a night. You fell asleep finally? Okay. Problem solved. I'm back to four hours a night. Yeah. That's good, right? 1230 to 430, out like a light. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Well, let's look at this Dickies BBQ. You want to learn about it? Pit King's Hawaiian Spicy Chicken and Cheddar Sandwich. A new spicy summer menu item with pit-smoked marinated chicken breast topped off with cheddar, jalapenos, and spicy barbecue sauce all nestled in a sweet King's Hawaiian bun. With every bite you take into this chicken sandwich, it will be full of spicy and sweet tangy flavors.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Dickie's is not a sandwich shop. No shit. I know. I know. I'm sorry. Despite what you think when you walk in, we are not a Subway. Yeah. Very defensive about that. Dickies is
Starting point is 00:41:50 not a sandwich shop, but they sure do know how to put one together. Oh, so it is a sandwich shop. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not a sandwich shop. Try our new sandwich. Despite appearances. Up until that line, thought they were a sandwich shop. There you go. Michael thought it was hamburgers. Don't get it tangled. I go. Michael thought it was hamburgers.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Don't get it tangled. I still think it might have been hamburgers. Dickie's hamburgers. I can't find it. Where the fuck is this place? Oh, man. I was thinking like maybe the copy or the press material has it, but like not a whole lot
Starting point is 00:42:24 of like King's Hawaiian team up language in that, you know, like you think it would be a big deal because those are really good roles. Yeah. Where's the trademark? Where's the fucking we're hammering this thing home. Yeah. Let's see here.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Here at Dickies, we have been serving up top notch barbecue staples for decades. Said Laura Ray Dickey, CEO of Dickies Barbecue Restaurants Incorporated. Interesting. Go ahead. Interesting. for decades said laura ray dickie ceo of dickie's barbecue restaurants incorporated interesting go ahead interesting so it's a family affair huh you don't say i'm telling you now that now that pa dickie's dead that's when the franchise was laura the one who was really all about the franchising you think laura's probably a granddaughter i would guess yeah probably laura's mom you gotta you gotta gotta think about a secession type of situation, you know what I mean? Oh, no, she's like the Siobhan. Yeah. And not just because
Starting point is 00:43:09 she's just the girl, but I'm sure she has aspirations. CEO? Oh, no. CEO? Who's the Tom, though? Oh, no. Oh. Oh, boy. They should do secession, but dick session.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Dick session. I'm ready, dad. I'm ready, dad. I can make the chicken. Fuck off! Fuck off! He's cutting a brisket. Fuck off.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Why don't you go grab a slice of cheese and fuck off. Bore on the floor! He's at the farm, he's a bunch of boars. He dropped some brisket. Sir, sir, this is a good idea. He's just pissing in the floor. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Dude, Roman's Uncle Jed. He fucked up the server protection like he fucked up the rocket launch. We got it all figured out. Dick Session. Dick Session. Now that the seasons are changing, says who, we wanted to challenge the barbecue norm and create a hot, new, innovative addition for our menu.
Starting point is 00:44:16 That is why we are launching the King's Hawaiian Spicy Chicken and Cheddar Premium Sandwich. We can't wait to share this delicious item with the community and hope everyone is ready to spice up their order at Dickie's this summer. I want to chime in real quick before we move on. I think Frank is Uncle Jed. More than Roman.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Imagine that hat on Frank and he just gets blamed for everything. You're out. You're fired. You're back in. Come on back Frank. Frank, fuck off! Frank, I've missed you.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Frank, can't do it without you. He's just always like, gee, thanks for having me back. Thanks, Travis. Frank and then the other guy who's not as important as Frank, but is always there. The other old white guy. Yeah, the other guy who's like, he's kind of got a square face. Oh, big time square face guy.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah, that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good. Dick Sessions is going to be good. I'm excited. This is pretty exciting. I do want to point out, I agree with you
Starting point is 00:45:15 about the King's Hawaiian roll thing. I'm not so sure that this is above the board, if you know what I mean. I think they just bought a bunch of rolls. I think they're just going to heb and buying king's hawaiian rolls and going this should be enough for what we're selling today this should be fine it don't think it's gonna matter every day before you open stop by the heb make sure you got enough king's hawaiian rolls to meet whatever demand is. We will not provide them to you. Now, if no one told you that was a King's
Starting point is 00:45:47 Hawaiian roll, would you have known that the softest sandwich you've ever eaten was a King's Hawaiian roll? I totally forgot that that was the whole point of the thing existing was the King's Hawaiian roll. I'm learning that that was the point just now. I'm learning that in this conversation. See, this is why we learn about
Starting point is 00:46:04 the food. I still didn't. Yeah. It was truly the softest sandwich I maybe have ever eaten. They are very soft rolls, so maybe not the best thing for something with that much barbecue sauce on it.
Starting point is 00:46:16 And they tend to deflate, so just holding it really just smushes that bun down into the chicken. Yeah. Yeah, bit of a mess. It was like a wet sandwich without being wet yeah yeah i had that thought too you know it was like this is this is dangerous to close to being wet yes it wasn't no it wasn't it was close it was like if you held it you'd go this is soggy and then you'd put it down and go but there's nothing on my
Starting point is 00:46:40 fingers exactly yeah bone dry usually i'm mad by now yeah dry like bill mark yeah it's but there's nothing on my fingers. Exactly, yeah. Bone dry? Usually I'm mad by now. Dry like Bill Maher? Yeah. I set the sandwich down and it was like, you'll never believe what's going on in Congress now. New rules.
Starting point is 00:47:04 It was a very strange sandwich, but I don't get a rating, despite what Nick thinks. It's on you guys. Yeah, but you still get an opinion. Right. Apparently, that's all he bases on, whether he listens to the episode
Starting point is 00:47:16 that he didn't show up for or not. Didn't show up for the episode or the stream. Yeah, couldn't be bothered. We kept saying Nick. What was that all about? We got a different ape. That wasn't Nick. we kept saying Nick what was that all about we got a different ape that wasn't Nick why are you asking us you got that
Starting point is 00:47:30 I'm still wondering why he had so much pizza yeah the five pizzas for three people was pretty questionable you know he's like always bring a pizza I don't think you ever know you didn't call him a pizza ape once on the stream no you did not you kept saying it's the sauce monkey.
Starting point is 00:47:46 You know how the pizza ape walks around and he's just sort of like, hey, he's not talking. He's not actually saying this. In fact, he refuses to talk. And you ask him to do something and he goes, I'm shaking my head. He's the pizza ape. He walks around and then he gives Jordan, he dabs
Starting point is 00:48:01 at Jordan. Fist bumps for some reason and also like off camera. I don't think he touched me. Off camera dancing, walking up to the stage. He had a big lead up. Yeah. Into the camera. Yeah, I thought he did a great job. What a fantastic pizza. Whatever his
Starting point is 00:48:18 job was, I guess he did it. Yeah. Whatever he was there to do. He brought all his pizzas. Classic ape style. I mean, I just say, we pushed all those forks and proved we didn't need Sauce Monkey. So. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Maybe it's, maybe it's not him. Maybe it's us. We sold out of all 25. But maybe we would have sold out faster if people were tuning in with this guy.
Starting point is 00:48:37 We just don't know. We need, you know, like, simple scientific method. Control, and then we gotta change it. I think,
Starting point is 00:48:44 we gotta run it again. think... Run it again. See what kind of results we get. I think that... If we can sell out in three minutes with Nick... That's true. Well, I think the problem was the stream went on too long. We should make a...
Starting point is 00:48:53 We should do 15 minutes next time. You want a 15-minute stream? Yeah. Then we'll sell out faster. He's doing something over there. Hang on. See, it looks like the cover of our new secession show.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah, he does. It's the poster for season one somebody's dick is in danger when you're going to see the monkey coming soon to hbo max what's that? They just canceled it. Coming soon to. Oh, boy. Maybe they'll end up on Discovery or whatever. Yeah, it's true. No, I mean, that's lean back content. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:35 This is definitely, this is lean up content. Whoa. Yeah, it's true. I like to get lent up. All right, Jordan, what's your review? What do you think of the King's Hawaiian spicy chicken and cheddar premium sandwich? Dangerously wet, though it may be. Good sandwich. I ate it.
Starting point is 00:49:50 I liked it. The chicken, the barbecue chicken, pretty good. Nice and juicy. The is very simple. They just had like a slice of cheddar and then some jalapenos and their barbecue sauce. They could have changed the bread. I don't think the bread did anything for it. But if they had put it on like a hamburger bun, I'm sure it would have been just as
Starting point is 00:50:10 good. So I'm not going to like detract it for that. But overall, I think it's really solid. I enjoyed it. It was one of those things. And Eric, you said this when we were digging in. It was like, this is like dangerously like eatable. Like you could, you could probably demolish a couple of those.
Starting point is 00:50:26 You could absolutely, if there were no sides and they were just like. But then you'd be really sleepy. Oh, you'd feel like shit. But you could eat three. It's also interesting coming from Jordan especially, who always is concerned that the food is too big. And then eating this going, you could eat more. Jordan ate the whole thing. It wasn't too big. I was actually this going, you could eat more. Jordan ate the whole thing. It wasn't
Starting point is 00:50:45 too big. I was actually surprised how much chicken they gave you. Yeah. Because it's like kind of like cut up into like chunks. It's carved pretty well. Yeah, it's chunks. I would describe it as chunks. It wasn't there weren't slices. They're not breasts. And it wasn't a breast. It was just chunks
Starting point is 00:51:01 of chicken. The guy behind the counter chunked up the chicken and put it on the bread. He did. It was little chunks of barbecue chicken. You're not wrong. I thought it was going to be a problem when it was like,
Starting point is 00:51:10 this is just all going to fall out of the sandwich. It hung tough. Maybe the wetness kind of fused it all together. Oh, I think it definitely, I think putting it on, I think putting the cheese
Starting point is 00:51:18 on the bottom is what like, it's all cohesive now. It makes me wonder if like this was planned as like Dickie's actually smart or are they just like falling backwards into like something that works like in succession? I was going to say, would Frank ever really succeed or would he just be like, oh, he fell
Starting point is 00:51:35 backwards into something that worked? I think that's why, you know, he's been there so long. Yep. Something to think about. So, so what do you think? What score are you giving it? I'm going to give it a solid 77. Wow. Very high for Jordan. That's very high for Jordan.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Very high. I guess I didn't have the bun controversy, but also wasn't aware that there was supposed to be. Wait, there's a bun on this? As you guys were talking about the bun, I'm just going, was it a different bun? What bun was it
Starting point is 00:52:04 supposed to be? Whose bun was it? I don't know. It was good. It was a good sandwich. And I would say, Dickies aside, as we've, you know, the establishment itself, just very confusing. And as Eric just kept saying, they shouldn't exist. For every reason except for the food. Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I agree. I agree. Listen, your food's great, but you shouldn't exist. Look at the chair arrangement. Why is this guy building tables over here? Why is it dark like a cave? Dark like a cave and somebody's building a little fort. I would say, especially with the quality of the chicken,
Starting point is 00:52:38 it's the first thing we've eaten in a long time that tastes closer to real food than fast food. It's true. Like someone could have cooked that at their house and made it and given it to you. Yeah. Maybe that's why I liked it. It just wasn't just quality, but somehow it's
Starting point is 00:52:53 just like there's that wow factor to processed fake food at McDonald's and it just didn't have that. I could be tricked into thinking someone's mom made this. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's pretty impressive for Dickies, a place I've never heard of that I don't think should exist.
Starting point is 00:53:10 But I agree with Jordan. I actually thought it was really good. I easily could have eaten two. All the flavors worked. I'm always happy with a sandwich that comes with cheese. I don't have to ask for cheese. I'm gonna give it a Dickies surprised meprised Me Good 89.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Wow. That's good. I thought it was a good sandwich. 83. It was a good sandwich. Happy with that. I agree with everything you guys said. And it was almost messy,
Starting point is 00:53:38 but it wasn't. I thought, I thought that I hate being sticky. Me too. I was ready to set it down and look at my like drenched hands. I didn't have to go like wet my hands or anything. too. I was ready to set it down and look at my drenched hands. I didn't have to go wet my hands or anything. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:53:49 It was fine. Dickies is a very weird place that I still believe should not exist. But if this sandwich was at Rudy's, I would go to Rudy's and get this sandwich. Imagine having that sandwich and then a banana pudding. Oh, that's nice. Like an actual banana pudding. Or a banana pudding shake. That's not what I said. That's pretty good. Yeah, but you can do both.
Starting point is 00:54:10 That's not what I said and it's definitely not what I meant. That's what you were thinking. I definitely don't want that. Nick's giving a big thumbs up. Nick was so mad that we went to fucking Whataburger. Did you like that shake? Did you try it? He didn't try it. Well, it sucks. Check this out. Well it sucks.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Oh your big cup! Oh wait, oh we can you wanna do it for take off? Hang on. Woah! Here we go. Tell me when. Alright, 3, 2, 1, blast! It's off. The rocket goes when it's ready, baby. This really is just like that episode of Succession.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Woah! The guy just lost a finger, it's fine. Whoa! The guy just lost a finger. It's fine. Nobody died. They just lost some fingers. It's fine. It's fine. We'll bounce back. We'll bounce back.
Starting point is 00:54:54 All right. Snack time? You want to get into it? Crunch! Holy moly. We got a snack. Rancheritos. Rancheritos. El Mero M Elmero, sabor ranchero.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Tyler J. The snack I'm sending you comes from Uvalde, Texas. Oh. While on vacation to BFE. What is BFE? Say that again. Bum-fuck Egypt. Can you explain?
Starting point is 00:55:21 Is that a fact or are you guessing? BFE, Nick is claiming, means bum-fuck Egypt. Is that a fact or are you guessing? BFE, Nick is claiming, means bumfucked Egypt. Is that a Texas thing? What are you saying? It is a Texas thing? He's starting to worry that it exclusively is. It's certainly a stupid thing to say. It's certainly a dumbass thing I've never heard of.
Starting point is 00:55:42 You don't need to show us your laptop. I'm going to do a BFE, get some dickies. Who? What? Middle of nowhere. But is it Egypt or nowhere? I'm confused. It's bumfuck Egypt.
Starting point is 00:55:54 So there's... I have more questions. This is all very confusing. Is it a real place or is this like a phrase? Is it a phrase? No, it's a phrase, but we're calling Egypt bumfuck? Yeah, like... That's the part I don't understand. It's like the crucible of ancient culture. I'm just saying, it's a phrase, but we're calling Egypt bumfuck? Yeah. That's the part I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:56:06 It's like the crucible of ancient culture. I'm just saying, Egypt's kind of a big deal. Yeah. It's kind of like, not bumfuck. Hey, where are you going? When I say bumfuck, the usual next word is nowhere. Not Egypt, the place everyone knows. You know where all this shit is?
Starting point is 00:56:21 You know all that big shit? What does Egypt have? You know what, though? Not surprising. Sounds like a real dumbass Texas move. Yeah. I bet Uncle Jed is like this all the time. Sounds like a real dumbass, like, America's bad, Texas is worse.
Starting point is 00:56:34 It's fucking insane. Talk about how important we are. Like, what do you want to learn, something? We're going to look at some triangles in the ground. Uncle Jed, get back to the servers. where do you want to learn something we're gonna look at some triangles in the ground it's fucking crazy that it just says while vacationing to bfe and nick knew what that meant not yeah but that's i mean first of all thank you for translating i guess but we all would have been vacationing to nowhere i'm just i'm just i just don't think bumfuck should be attached no i should not it should not it'd be like it'd be like going to florence i don't know what the fuck we're gonna
Starting point is 00:57:11 do there i mean really want to look at some hard fuck i mean not nowhere it's somewhere bfa but and also in my opinion bumfuck sucks too when you get there. Right? Yeah. Like, who goes, oh, I'm going to Egypt. Next I'm going to Japan. Man, I'm going to Australia. Bumfuck Australia. Well, there's probably places in,
Starting point is 00:57:37 I mean, that's mostly bumfuck. Yeah. Yeah. But not Sydney. Nope. Yeah. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:57:41 you've brought this to a grinding halt with your BFEs. Tyler J found these in a local Walmart and said these chips are busting. In Egypt? And I wish it was once a week. Okay. Your loyal Spice Rat, Tyler J, and then apparently to be rewarded for knowing a BFE as PS, I threw a shit ton of sauces in the box for the monkey.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Why do they sell rancheritos in Egypt? So many sauces. Those are a lot of sauces. Yo, this has a weird-ass smell to it. It's got a weird-ass taste as well. I don't know what the smell is. Metallic. It's like I've licked a nickel.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Guaranteed fresh until November 16th, 2021. Oh, no. That's good. I believe it. Okay. Let me see that bag and take a picture. That's a Rancherito.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I think they're very strange. So they get Dorito. They're like bad knockoff Doritos. Yeah. That's what they seem like. I mean, that's what it tastes like. There's some more layer to it.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Like some seasoning and stuff. That's like, I don't know what it is. It's leaving a weird metallic taste in my mouth. I'm not getting metal, but I'm not getting good either. It's fine. It's not bad, but that's a... It's like salty or limey,
Starting point is 00:58:54 you know? A little bit lime, for sure. Because I detect what I hate. There you go. Alright, what do you think? Score-wise. I wouldn't eat these. But they're fine 50 40 alright 45
Starting point is 00:59:07 easy great and if you want to send us snacks you can you don't have to send sauces for the monkey again you can you just don't have to
Starting point is 00:59:15 send them to facejamcareofericbadoor1901 East 51st Street nailed it Austin Texas 78723 follow at facejampod
Starting point is 00:59:23 for all your facejam news I did that you mean bum fuck Austin no nope don't mean that I did that Austin, Texas, 78723. Follow at FaceJamPod for all your FaceJam news. I did that. You mean bumfuck Austin? No, no. Don't mean that. I did that, Stickers. On sale now.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Monday. They will be on sale. So if you're listening on Tuesday, it's on sale. Put them everywhere. Stay tuned for a Switchfork restock. They've been ordered. We're waiting for them to arrive. And then we will.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Put those everywhere. Yep. If you go to the website and you get notified for a resupply, it's the fastest way to take you directly to the page where you can order, like, when we're going to put them up. But we'll let you know when they're going to go up and everything. Also, go. Yeah. When they come out, so many people were like, well, I put them in my cart,
Starting point is 01:00:02 and then I dilly-dallied. Yep. You can't dilly-dally. Just do it. Get PayPal. Get PayPal set. Hit checkout for months. Be on top of this.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Now, granted, some people were on top of it and they still didn't get it. Hot commodities. Okay, that's fine. But some people going, yeah, I put it in my cart and fucked around for 10 minutes and then they were gone. They sold so fast. Oh, no shit. They're changing the phrase from sold like hotcakes to sold like switch forks.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Wow. That's cool. Dang. And we're also changing bumfuck Egypt to bumfuck anything else. Go to the face jam store at store. Roosterteeth.com. Uh, and you can get your switch fork there.
Starting point is 01:00:35 If you change it to bumfuck Amsterdam, that has a, that sounds like it means something else. Yeah. That's something you can do there. Yeah. I'd subscribe. I should already be called that.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Thanks for listening. All right. You know, we had a solid run as hosts.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, it's a... Stay tuned for the next episode with, I guess, me running the audio and then... I guess, am I doing the facts? No, you're the producer.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Yeah, you're writing the facts and then they're hosting it like they always wanted from day one Nick was very excited because I'm right is this what you wanted? the wait said no goodbye
Starting point is 01:01:19 you'll never ride with me no no he's still kidding You'll never ride with me. Oh, no! No, he's still kidding.

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