100% Eat - Domino’s New York Style Pizza
Episode Date: April 23, 2024In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Domino's New York Style Pizza so you know if it’s worth eating. They also give an update on Brett’s class trip to Disney and talk ab...out Brooklyn Style Pizza, Charles Bronson, mobile ordering, boroughs, and more. Follow @facejampod. We'll have news soon on what's to come. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Stopwatch, start, startwatch.
Face Jam, start.
Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it.
You probably do.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.
Jordan, how are you today?
I'm all hyped up.
Whoa!
On New York style pizza and I'm ready to punch some strangers.
I'm yawning like cinnamon.
Yeah, we discovered cinnamon yawns like a human.
She made a very human noise in that video you showed us, Gracie.
I wouldn't say it's a human yawn, though.
No, but it's a noise that comes out that sounds human.
It almost sounds like a Minecraft villager.
Oh, yeah.
Remember Minecraft?
I don't think I've ever played it.
Me and Nick were talking about this yesterday. I've never played...
I don't think I've ever played Minecraft. You've never played
one block of Minecraft? I don't think so.
You've never mined?
You are missing out.
You should try playing it every day for like five years.
Regardless of if I want to or not?
Five years?
I wish.
More!
That's all over now, though.
More!
What the fuck?
Oh, thank you for the emergency water.
What's going on?
I'm worried.
It's an emergency.
Yeah. Gracie has opened a can of emergency water. What's going on? I'm worried. It's an emergency. Yeah.
Gracie has opened a can of emergency water.
What's with your face?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
No, it does fit.
He shut the door and then kind of tiptoed over there for some reason.
Can't be heard or seen and was looking suspiciously over at something.
Oh, yeah.
He's being suspicious of Gracie.
Why?
Because she has blue can?
Yeah.
I have my big old emergency.
The emergency is that they still exist.
It's the biggest can I've ever seen of anything.
Hey, can we get-
It's not just tall.
Before we jump into the food, which is so important and definitely going to be the focus of this whole episode.
Can we get an update on your pluffle?
What's the pluffle situation like?
How's that been going?
How's the pluffle at home?
I would say I've spent more time in it than I've spent out of it.
Oh, okay.
I also want to just...
That's crazy.
You said upgrade for a second instead of update?
Yeah.
That's the pluffle plus.
Yeah.
It's now a double-decker pluffle in my room.
Like bunk beds.
They're working on it.
They're working on it.
So you've been spending a lot of time in your human dog bed.
Sure.
Has your dog been spending a lot of time in the dog human bed?
Occasionally.
Cinnamon knows that it's for people.
Yeah, she does.
That's what she knows.
Cinnamon gets very stressed out being on furniture because her little legs can't get her down.
So when I bring her in there with me, she knows she can't get out without my help.
So it fre get her down. So when I bring her in there with me, she knows she can't get out without my help, so it freaks her out. So I have
her in there for about seven
to nine minutes before she gets really
anxious. So specific.
She's timing it.
Does she start pacing around the pluffle?
She does a room. She starts really heavily
panting and then looking over the edge as if
she's going to jump. Now, when you say the
edge, is the pluffle on a couch?
Yeah. Oh. The pluffle is on my couch so that I can be level with my TV. It's called to jump. Now, when you say the edge, is the pluffle on a couch? Yeah. Oh.
The pluffle is on my couch so that I can be level with my TV.
It's called extra comfort.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to lay on the floor and have to look up at my TV.
That would be an animal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a human animal.
I'm trying to think of what kind of animal that would be.
Like a dog, I suppose.
Yeah, no, but this is for humans.
Dogs aren't watching TV.
On the couch.
That's what you think.
I think dogs watch TV.
You're just not watching shit They want to see
On the couch
Yeah you have cats Jordan
You wouldn't know if dogs watch TV
I put on bird TV sometimes
Do your cats watch bird TV?
Yeah they love bird TV
Like look
It's on top of my couch
That's weird
Who took that picture
I took that
That's not me
That's a dude
That's weird
Oh okay sorry
Who took that picture of you?
I just assumed you were in it
Who took that picture of you? And why do you look so different?
And when did you get a haircut and grow
all your hair back?
That blanket is pulled up so high
there's no beard to be seen.
That's very cozy gentleman.
That's very cool. If you sent the pluffle, thank you.
Yeah, I still want to know who did that.
If you didn't send it, fuck you. Why didn't you send it?
Nick wants one too.
And Jordan. Yeah, we all need one for our one too. Thank you, Nick. And Jordan.
Yeah, we all need one for our new show.
Puzzles and pluffles.
Exactly.
I also want to provide an update that we just got.
Or an upgrade.
Or an upgrade.
This might be an upgrade.
We upgraded for others.
This is from Brett Omura, who we helped when the fires were happening in Hawaii.
Oh, shit.
And we had jammers activate and help his class.
Yeah, we said, hey, you little pieces of shit.
This might get you some karma so you won't burn so hot in hell when you get there.
So there was a GoFundMe, Gracie, that we were.
I think I was here for it.
Yeah.
And so we helped this class, eighth grade class, go to Florida to Disney.
And he sent us some photos of the kids enjoying their time at Disney.
And they were all really thankful.
Why aren't they wearing Face Jam shirts?
That's a great question.
We should have accompanied them with a shirt that said Face Jam.
We sent them all in a uniform.
Here's a video of them on Main Street.
Brett gave a, we're not going to post this video.
This is just for us, whatever.
But these kids are on the last day of their trip at the end.
And he's like, please excuse, please don't think that they're, them being tired is their lack of enthusiasm for you.
You having helped us.
Oh, God. tired is their lack of enthusiasm for you you having helped us they are they're so
they're exhausted
because they had such a good trip
even if they had just gotten there it would
sound like that because that's just how
eighth graders
emote yeah he said that they are
zombies at this point. There's no
energy, but I wanted to
give everyone
an update that these kids got to go
on their trip that they thought they were going to miss
because of the fires.
I'd like to say for anyone in this
room, don't feel too good because we didn't do anything.
No. We did nothing.
We were just the platform.
Yes, exactly.
We just said, give them money.
And then people did.
Well, the jammers, that's why we give an update.
The jammers did this.
You did that.
If you're listening and you feel good, hold on to that.
Yeah, if you feel good in this room, stop.
Yeah, Nick.
Stop feeling good about yourself.
You didn't do shit.
Good.
Oh, yeah.
So what are we eating?
Oh, we got that out of the way.
Today, we're reviewing Domino's
New York style pizza.
The super new thing that they haven't
had for years.
This is brand new. Very different
than the Brooklyn style pizza.
I literally don't know what that is.
I don't know. I've never seen it.
What it is is they made a thinner
style pizza. Not thin crust, but thinner.
Right.
Like Brooklyn style.
This is totally different.
Did they take the Brooklyn pizza off their menu and put this on?
They didn't.
I wish we had gotten a Brooklyn style to compare.
You said this, Eric.
You were like, did you do New York style?
I went, they've had that.
And you went, no, they don't.
I'm like, I had it two days ago.
Nope. That's different. I had it two days ago. Nope.
That's different.
I literally don't know what Brooklyn is.
And neither does Pasta Pete.
That makes two of you.
He still never listed Brooklyn as a borough. He never listed Brooklyn.
Ever.
He said Bronx twice.
He said Bronx, Manhattan.
Bronx.
Wait, did I say that right?
And then he said Queens. He asked about New Jersey. Yes. Oh, that's right. He said, is. He said Bronx, Manhattan, Bronx. Wait, did I say that right? And then he said Queens.
He asked about New Jersey.
Yes.
Oh, that's right.
He said, is New Jersey up?
And then trailed off.
And I said, that's a state.
And then Michael was like, not happy.
And then he said Queens, and we said, yeah.
And then he went, oh, Kings?
Yeah.
Jacks?
All right.
Missed opportunity.
Missed opportunity, New York.
Yeah, come on, guys.
Speaking of word association. Okay, we, New York. Yeah, come on, guys. Speaking of word association.
Okay, we're not playing crossword or whatever.
No, we're not.
I already did today's connections, but if you want to bust it out, go for it.
Connect this.
It was an easy one.
So the New York style pizza, the brand new pizza, never been done before.
Not even in New York.
No, this is where they-
Why were you looking around?
I was thinking...
He was looking around like someone was going to attack him.
Where can you get New York style pizza?
Brooklyn?
No.
No.
Kings?
Kings.
You can get it from Kings or New Jersey.
What's a burro?
That's how this all started.
We let Pots to Pete
Try some pizza
First of all
He walked in the room
And he went
He was screaming
What's your favorite burro
I think I said
Now what burro does it taste like
And he went what is that
He went burro
We filmed all this in a video
We'll put it up.
But it is.
God, it was so good.
I mean, he walked over because they had finished up a different podcast, which we will not promote.
Yeah, legally we can't promote it.
Competitors.
And I wouldn't either.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not just that we can't, but we won't.
I'm filled with New York style rage.
So was he after a little bit.
He did get mad.
He took one bite and he just got set off.
He walked over and he could not believe that there was pizza and that we were offering it to him.
And he kept going, you mean it?
But you're not going to eat it?
But there's so much and you're not going to?
And it was like, everyone else from that fucking show came over.
Nobody else took it. We've given him food 10, and you're not going to. And it was like, everyone else from that fucking show came over. You want the fucking food or not?
Nobody else took it.
We've given him food 10,000 times.
So many times. Why is this a surprise to him?
I think it's an object permanence issue.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I have a feeling it's that.
But he was thrilled.
He took a bite and then gave it a rating.
The one bite review, Dave Portnoy style.
So that was pretty cool. Except he took a second bite right before he gave a rating. The one-bite review, Dave Portnoy style. So that was pretty cool.
Except he took a second bite
right before he gave the rating.
My one-bite review
took me two bites.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, that's Chris, you know.
I'm sorry, Pasta Pete.
Yeah.
Who's Chris?
I literally know him.
Have you ever had
authentic New York-style pizza
from New York-style city?
Yes.
I have never.
I hope to one day.
I've had pizza in New York. Have you never really? I've never. I hope to one day. I've had pizza
in New York. Have you never really?
I've never even been to New York.
That's surprising. Yeah. You're a pizza guy.
It's surprising to me too.
It's really easy to get there.
What if we get a GoFundMe to send Jordan?
Just me. And then we can all
feel really good about it.
That's where we're going on vacation.
I'll film a video on the last day.
Thank you, Facebook.
Here's the beauty of it.
You get there, and then you go anywhere.
Let's all go.
That's what it, like, you go anywhere.
I would love to just walk down the street and stop at every pizza place and get a slice.
You won't be able to.
There's like 50 million.
Well, until I'm full.
And then I'll be down half a block.
You know what's even better, though?
In between walking into the pizza buildings, you get some street dogs.
Oh, yeah.
Or a street pretzel.
Oh, the old hot dog water?
Dirty water dog.
City.
Just as good as the pizzas.
Years ago, this never went anywhere, but there was an opportunity for me and my friend Gus,
But there was an opportunity for me and my friend Gus or Gustavo, as some people know him, to do a show where we go to New York and walk down the street eating pizza with iced tea.
What?
Yes.
This was an idea that got pitched to us.
And Gus told me about it.
And I was like, I'm in.
It didn't go any further than that.
With the man, not the drink.
I see. Honestly, man, not the drink. I see.
Honestly, it could work both ways.
He was probably also squeezing in some walk-in talks for Law & Order at the same time.
You're talking about
Odafin Tutuola? Uh-huh. Lipton?
And he could
have walked up. You could have been on the show. You could have been moving
boxes. Right, yeah. I don't know.
Said something about going to the knife store.
Jordan, I think if you were a character
on Law and Order, I think
you would be a
high school teacher who's
too busy. You're erasing a
board. Yeah, you have your glasses on.
You're erasing a board and you're like
I really gotta get ready for my next class.
Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I have another
class coming and then I think that would be the way
that you get in and out of it.
And then that's the next scene. Also, you did it. And, I have another class coming. And then I think that would be the way that you get in and out of it. Yeah.
And then that's the next scene.
Also, you did it.
And we fucking know you did it.
Yeah, but guess what?
I got away with it.
No!
No!
Because that's how the justice system works sometimes.
The criminals walk.
Or sometimes they call it skate.
You know how those episodes work where halfway through they got a good promising lead and they arrest someone?
And you're like, there's no way this guy did it.
There's half a show left.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, you got it.
You got to remember though
the back end though
just because there's the law
part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I always,
I get so invested in the law
I forget about the order.
Right.
Yeah.
You get so invested too
when you see the guy
doing like the investment commercials.
Yeah.
Sam Waterstone.
Uh-huh. TD Ameritree. I watch that commercial and I go, I'm guilty. Yes. the investment commercials. Sam Waterstone.
TD Ameritrade.
I watch that commercial and I go,
guilty!
Of a great deal.
What are your guys' domino opinions?
My dompinions?
No, no, domino opinions.
It's on the sheet.
I've had some dompinions over the years.
That's not your best work then, if that's what you write.
Domino opinions, it makes sense.
Domino, domino opinions. work, then, if that's what you wrote. Dominopinions. It makes sense. Domino.
Dominopinions.
I don't like it.
Okay, all right.
Now I feel like I'm on your side.
I feel like you're saying you have no opinions at that point.
What are your dominopinions?
Yeah.
Okay, you have any enopinions?
Oh, I love enos.
Enos is great.
Everyone should call it that.
Everyone should resist it at first and then accidentally call it that. We were talking to Gracie about best, like, big chain pizza.
Of, like, what is sort of, like, the tier system of what they are.
It has been for a long time.
Yeah.
Ever since they came out with their new recipe, like, 15 years ago.
Probably 20, I would say.
20 years they've been at the top.
You disagree?
Guilty!
You're wrong.
Go to Sam Waterstone and Ice-T
Throw the book at them
They changed their recipe
Sauce, cheese, dough, what?
All of it
They changed their recipe and then you were born
And now you live in a world where this is how pizza is
I was born into the new recipe
You probably were
Domino's used to suck
It was
Would you say it was probably the bottom tier of the Really it was only Pizza Hut and Domino's used to suck. Oh, yeah. It was... I mean, would you say it was probably like the bottom
tier of the... I mean, really, it was only Pizza
Hut and Domino's.
At that point, it was just them fighting it out.
I remember when new Papa John's came out.
Oh, when Papa John's was a new thing?
It was fucking crazy. This young gun?
It happened in 2010, according to the internet.
Oh, okay. So, yeah.
So, yeah, we were right.
Yeah, when you were born.
Just learning to walk.
The, like
Papa John's being brand new
shifted a bunch of stuff.
And then Little Caesars just went, it's $5.
That's it.
Little Caesars could not be bothered to
innovate, so they were like,
how do we get our foot in the door?
When did Papa John's come out? When did that come out?
Why don't you type that out?
I bet that that was a mid-90s thing, and then it went like everywhere late 90s, early 2000s.
I would say like 98.
It feels like you—
1984.
Wow.
Beware the savage lore.
It was doing nothing for a long time.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because it was not popping when I was a kid.
Wasn't popping John?
No.
No.
I think.
He's the sweaty one, right?
Yes.
There's other ways
to describe him too.
He's the deflated Jimmy John.
I think Papa John's came out.
They were rolling around
in the muck.
Yeah.
Doing whatever it is
they were doing.
They started getting big.
Domino's always second tier
to Pizza Hut. And maybe they were fine
with it. It's a
Coke-Pepsi situation. Papa John's came
out and then Domino's was like,
we gotta stop fucking around.
We can't be under this piece of shit.
We can't be fucking third.
And boom,
straight to the top. They surpassed
Pizza Hut and they've been up there forever. That's why I'm against... They surpassed Pizza Hut and they've been up there
forever. This is why I'm against
pizza monopolies because when there's
so many people
involved competing in the marketplace,
it breeds innovation
and then you get good recipe changes like
Domino's. Yeah, and you get $5 pizza
like Little Caesars. Yeah.
When will they change? But they don't always work
because sometimes you get this.
What do you mean?
Oh, a New York style slice.
Mamma mia.
I don't want to spoil it,
but I was underwhelmed.
He sucked.
That might be a spoiler, guys.
Who cares?
Yeah.
These were whack.
Also, no one was on board
with doing this for the episode.
It did not feel like anyone was into it.
It certainly wasn't Michael.
How so?
Michael was just fighting it because it was like, this isn't new.
Michael was screaming about how he never once was not on board for it not being the episode.
I was not on board with saying this is a new thing.
It's a new thing.
It's not.
It's not Brooklyn.
It was on Shoe Boom.
It said it's new.
When did the Brooklyn-style crust come out?
Gracie is now our...
She always has been.
I've never asked her to do anything.
She just does it.
She's just sitting here looking up pluffles and fucking crusts.
2006.
I'm sorry?
Domino's introduced one back in 2006,
but dubbed it Brooklyn-style pizza,
which was on the menu until as recently as a few
months ago. They just
this was posted three days ago. They took it off I guess
a few months ago and then brought this in. They sure didn't because I got it
like last week. Oh you can take that
up with allrecipes.com. I have the goddamn receipt
that I keep showing Eric. He keeps showing it
to my fucking face. It says Brooklyn?
Yes it says Brooklyn on it. Absolutely
there's no way it was
2000. Maybe they came out and then they took it away and brought it back.
They tend to do that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Right.
Let me see if I can find when they removed it.
Let's see if we can get to the bottom of this.
I don't care who's at the top.
We're about to take them down.
I think it's Eno.
I think so too.
New York style pizza and Michael's been screaming, it's Brooklyn.
We already did this.
And then everyone else going, I don't think this is going to be a good one.
I don't even.
And then it was.
Oh, Gracie's making a face.
Oh, sorry.
Gracie, stop making faces.
I just found a stupid article from the New York Times saying,
Brooklyn style pizza meets the real deal.
Talking about this bullshit?
Really?
Like, is that really what we're talking about?
This is the real deal.
And you know she can read it because she's subscribed.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Hell yeah.
Well, she's got to play the games.
Got to play my games.
Yeah.
Do you have to subscribe for that?
New York Times is now a game company.
I pay about, what is it, $9.99 a month?
You pay $10 a month?
Best $10 I've ever spent.
For what?
To stimulate my brain and grow my knowledge.
You can get games only for like $6.50, but you know.
Wait.
You might as well spend the extra $3 and also read some oftentimes biased articles.
Gracie, how often are you reading the articles?
Right now, and that's about it.
Like maybe it would have been helpful back in school, but I don't know.
Gracie, have you ever paid for a game before?
Like, a game subscription or something?
When I was a child.
What does that mean?
That is hard to tell how long ago that was.
Yeah, what does that mean?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay, let me pinpoint.
Maybe fifth grade.
What did you pay for?
It was this game called Moshi Monsters.
I love this. It was similar to like a webcam
situation like you had your monster and you like could just do whatever with it listen i've paid
like i don't really remember the details but i know guys i paid a lot of money i i paid money
for poke coins on pokemon go we all have our vices is moshi monsters still around oh yeah it is um i
asked for it for christmas like a membership and and I think it was like at least $100 something.
They're cute.
That one's a tomato.
Oh, my God.
They are very cute.
Jesus Christ.
Not as cute as Pokemon.
Yeah, well, we're learning.
And not as penguin as Club Penguin.
That's true.
Oh, I liked Club Penguin as well.
These are them.
Wait, so it was on the Nintendo DS, but also you could subscribe for it?
It was on the internet, yeah. It was on computer. I saw Nintendo DS. You had to was on the Nintendo DS, but also you could subscribe for it? It was on the internet, yeah.
It was on computer.
I saw Nintendo DS.
You had to go on the website.
Well, it might be now.
When I played it, it was on the internet.
Grace is being a hipster about it.
I love it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you played it on the Nintendo?
She's on Moshi Monsters like so early.
I don't know if I ever paid for another.
I mean, does it count like when I was like buying ds games as a kid
yeah that's fine i mean you're paying ten dollars a month for wordle or whatever so i was just
curious right but that's ten dollars once a month to play it for the rest of my life
versus what was the ds game like 20 two payments and you had to buy all the games individually
it's one game how much could it cost i was just curious um anywho you had to buy all the games individually. It's one game. How much could it cost? $20?
I was just curious.
Anywho.
You don't even own the rights when you buy a game.
Let me know after this episode when you log into Moshi Monsters if your monster's still there.
I did check.
I'm sure he's dead.
The app now, and they have replaced Brooklyn Style with Brooklyn Style.
No way.
This is seriously just a swap. This is This is seriously
Just a swap
This is crazy
The same exact thing
We ate Brooklyn style pizza
And they just called it New York
Let me see the day
I ordered it
Okay so
What we need to do
Is we need to get to the bottom of this
Because we have to learn
About Domino's
And then see
And all these facts
Are going to be wrong
Because we don't
We don't know
What we don't know
We don't know
What we don't know
Did it taste the exact same to you?
April 11th.
Yes.
Oh, wow.
One week ago.
What?
And it tasted identical?
Guys, you got this new New York style pizza that ain't never been done before.
Guys, we got fucking duped.
You got duped.
We got bamboozled.
But here's the thing.
We got duped by Domino's.
Here's the thing.
We have to get the word out for the jammers.
Yeah.
Let me see, too.
So with the Brooklyn style, you could only order large or extra large.
Okay.
You can't get small or medium.
I mean, that's the same thing.
We got a large New York.
Oh, you can order medium.
That's the difference.
You can get a medium New York style.
How fucking small would that be, dude?
You should not be.
It would be like this big.
The one we got was large and exactly the same thing.
The formerly Brooklyn style pizza also was small.
Like a large hand-tossed is much bigger than a large Brooklyn-style slash New York-style.
It's supposed to be huge slices and a big pie.
And it was six slices.
Well, they definitely gave us six slices.
It's six big slices.
They weren't big.
Something.
Allrecipes.com.
Like it's Brooklyn style pizza,
Domino's new New York style pizza
is a thin crust pizza with tomato sauce
and a blend of melty mozzarella and provolone.
It's also cut into six extra large foldable slices
instead of the traditional eight
like the Brooklyn style and the Big New
Yorker. So is there even
a difference? It just keeps saying like the Brooklyn.
No shit, because it's the same thing.
We got to get the New York
Times on this. They got to do an expose.
They didn't even like bring something
back or they just took
a thing they had and changed its name.
Well,
we got fucking bamboozled.
No, and we fell for it.
No, no, we didn't fall for it.
We have to.
We're putting our bodies on the line for the jammers
so they know not to get fucking tricked
by this, but we need to learn about dominoes
and see really where they stand on so much of this.
Can I read my haiku first?
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Do you think maybe we could go with the show format?
Hang on.
I'll allow it, yes.
Thanks for thinking so hard about it.
The haiku's above the facts on this episode.
That's strange.
Yeah, we're mixing things up.
Yeah.
Like Domino's.
There was one guy who-
We're going to do something a little differently this time.
We're not doing Jordan's haiku anymore.
We're doing a 5-7-5.
By Jordan.
And it goes like this.
Thin dough and big slices.
Folded for sidewalk eating.
Hey, I'm walking here.
I love it.
I've never been, so I don't know.
That was pretty good.
That was classic New York.
Hold on.
Before we dive into the facts, you're talking about crowdfunding a trip for me to go to New York.
Yeah.
I would kill to just go to the fucking Boysenberry Festival for once in my goddamn life.
Yeah, pretty much. Eric got to go. Can we just go and be fucking Boysenberry Festival for once in my goddamn life. Yeah, pretty much.
Eric got to go. Can we just go and be let down
already? Eric went. Oh, it's Eric got
to go. I think it's already over. I haven't even
gone. I mean, it's every year. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Well, maybe after a vacation.
Yeah. Don't point at me
like that. So if we do, maybe after
her vacation.
I'm
filled with Brooklyn rage right now, okay?
Brooklyn rage.
Yeah, Brooklyn rage.
There's a thing where it's like, oh, you point one finger,
five point it back at you, and I've just been pointing like this.
Yeah, that's how I point.
I do like a wizard.
Yeah.
Lightning.
Yeah.
All right, let's learn about Domino's.
Our previous Domino's episode was released September 15th, 2020,
where we ate the Domino's chicken taco pizza and cheeseburger pizza.
It received an average score of 23.
Is that not crazy?
Four years?
Isn't that fucking nuts?
That's crazy.
Gracie was just learning how to talk.
Yeah.
I was just logging on to Moshi Monsters for the first time.
Moshi Monsters.
Gracie's down to two more guesses in Wordle.
Dude, I remember when Digimon came out
and it was like,
what a knockoff.
That's so high on the list now.
Yo, did you play
Goobler Pals?
Oh, that was goobling it up.
Check it out, Neopets.
Domino's, two-time
world's fastest
pizza maker, Zagros
Jaff, can make three large pizzas
in just 70 seconds.
Fact taken from Domino's
one-on-one fun fact sheet.
Although I think they're using
that term loosely.
The fact is sad, not fun.
Zagros Jaffe,
Boba Fett, and Dengar are on the lookout for Han Solo.
Dengar, that mummy fuck.
That mummy fuck.
Earlier this year, that's 2024,
four plaintiffs filed a class action lawsuit against Domino's Pizza and Converse Now Technologies,
alleging that Domino's recorded the phone orders of customers without their consent.
The recordings violate the Biometric Information Privacy Act and is sort of like the most boring version of corporate deception.
If you're going to steal anything from these people, take their credit card information.
They're ordering Domino's. They don't care where
their money goes. New York style pizza?
You've got to be a moron to
actually get that.
This is
similar to stealing
your drive-thru voice.
That's my biometric
data privacy act.
They were saying that... uh no they weren't
but with the better not have with their biometric data stuff and and all of the
they do it through ai so like you call dominoes and it's ai ordering over the phone or whatever
and they were saying that it led to like 17 increase in upsells and like 21% increase in like...
This is exactly what Jimmy Chimes did.
Who's using a phone?
Who's calling?
Certainly not us.
Nope.
Savages.
Unless they got pretzels we need information on.
Unless I need to get angry Brooklyn style.
Yeah, I'm using the app.
Because your skin is slowly turning into like solidified scabs.
Yeah.
In April of this year,
again, it's still 2024,
a Rhode Island man, which is
Rhode Island, not a borough.
A Rhode Island man claims
he was denied pizza delivery
from Domino's after speaking with
a worker who claimed the area
the man lived in was, quote,
unsafe and referenced an incident that occurred with a driver. Who the area the man lived in was, quote, unsafe and referenced an
incident that occurred with a driver.
Who is calling Domino's?
What is going on?
Does this guy want his biometric data stolen?
Anyway, Eno's might
be racist.
You started talking
about who calls, and I went, wait for the next one.
Who's calling?
Calling Domino's.
Who is picking up the phone and going, gotta order that pizza over the phone.
The whole thing that they do is like, yeah, just do it online.
There's a tracker.
It comes to you.
You don't gots to talk to nobody.
And it's usually cheaper.
That's where they got all the deals and shit.
Yep.
They have forever coupons on there.
So like the bio...
You have to fight your way to not get a deal
on the app. I got a deal.
She got a deal!
Sorry, Brooklyn Rage.
To call
and have his biometric data
stolen just like that and
they wouldn't even deliver him a pizza.
They were fucking racist to him. The only time I'm
Collins is...
You gotta usually call Papa John's to get that.
My insurance for five months to get medication.
And just like that, the thing that I'm covered for shows up.
Uh-huh.
Only took me from late December to April.
Yeah, it's about, yeah.
Just like that.
Almost May.
Yeah, that's right.
Just like that.
Do it again next year.
It's the great American healthcare system.
Yep.
And we love it.
Thank God I have insurance.
I never said.
Man, I can't.
I honestly can't wait till it runs out.
It's going to be so much easier.
Oh, for during your vacation.
Yeah, I don't have insurance.
Oh, that's fine.
$5.
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.
Oh, you do have insurance?
That'll be $47,000, please.
But call them.
Click.
Yep.
Yeah.
And also wait five months.
Yeah.
But don't worry.
Insurance won't pay for it.
So then it's just, oh, it's great. So it's on you. That's. But don't worry, insurance won't pay for it. So then it's just, it's great.
So it's on you.
That's fine.
Don't worry.
I got a copay assistance card from the company that my insurance then approved.
Thanks, insurance.
Thanks for being there every step of the way to be in the fucking way.
Anyway, final fact.
In Houston a week ago, a Domino's delivery.
All of these things have happened so recently.
Because Domino's is out there.
They're living, okay?
They are America. They're living, okay? They are America.
In Houston a week ago, this year, 2024,
a Domino's delivery driver was tricked
into delivering a pizza to an abandoned house,
then carjacked by two men.
Just four days prior to that,
a Papa John's delivery driver was pistol whipped
and robbed at gunpoint in a nearby neighborhood.
We at Pizza Hut are warning all Pizza Hut drivers in Houston to not go in that area
unless you have a film crew with you and want to do a Charles Bronson Death Witch style
revenge plot where you stand up for pizza guys and take back the streets.
If that's the case, can the monkey be in it?
He's looking for work with Michael's big vacation coming up.
The Gracie definitely does not know who Charles Bronson or Deathwish is.
No, no, she knows Deathwish, but it's just the Bruce Willis one.
She only knows Deathwish 4 and 7.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But not any of the other ones.
I think his wife got killed six times.
She killed my new wife!
His daughter's kidnapped or something, and then the second one, it's yeah It's like families like killed and then are you looking up death wish?
It's old. What do you she looked up Charles Bronson in the villains wiki?
What the fuck is the villain?
I don't think that's it. Why didn't you just show me the picture?
No, that's him.
No, that's Tom Hardy.
That's Charles Bronson.
Well, why does that come up as Charles Bronson?
Because he's in a movie called Bronson where he plays a notorious convict in the UK named Charles Bronson Deathwish.
Yes.
And you'll see an old man.
With hair and a big old mustache.
Yeah.
And that's Charles Bronson Deathwish.
He'll kill you dead.
Interesting.
How about Tom Hardy look like Bane?
He does in Bronson.
He looks like fucking Bane.
He's so big.
I used to do crystal meth.
Isn't that crazy?
I believe anything.
Yeah.
You lie to me.
I don't give a shit.
Stop.
If I read it on the internet, I believe it.
A hundred percent.
Absolutely.
Whoa. You look up Charles. You got a perfect connections. Great. If I read it on the internet, I believe it. 100%. Absolutely.
Gracie got perfect connections. Great. You look up
Charles Bronson and you see a picture
of Tom Hardy. Yeah, that's bait.
That's bait.
That's from the internet.
That's bait.
Those are the facts. Do you think that
the monkey would do good in a Charles Bronson
Death Wish type scenario?
I don't think he'd get killed.
He'd be
shoot out and he's fucking running around.
You killed my monkey!
He was a man, damn it!
He's got the gun!
Brooklyn Rage.
Yeah.
So what was the best
thing you ate at the Boysenberry Festival?
Did you have any Boysenberry?
I did. I had some
what
big shrug
right into the microphone
you needed the stimulation
yeah he's not paying $9.99 a month
boysenberry cheesecake was good
boysenberry chicken tikka masala was weird.
I bet, but, you know, some of the stuff there seems so weird, I want to try it.
Like, I want the good snacks, like the boysenberry cheesecake.
Michael's microphone's taking off again.
It's ascending.
But also, like, I love the weird stuff that they do where they just kind of shoehorn it in.
And I'm like, I'll try boysenberry tikka masala
they had boysenberry
barbacoa mac and
cheese so it had
so it had like the barbacoa with like a boysenberry
kind of like sauce glazed
I was going to say where does the boysenberry come into that
like besides putting
boysenberry in it that's fine that's why
you're that's why you're there
I am adamantly against putting shit in mac and cheese I hate it so it's fine. That's why you're there. I am adamantly against
putting shit in mac and cheese. Me too. I hate it.
It's always like, we got bits of this shit
and there's some meat and shit. Lobster mac and cheese.
Just give me the goddamn mac and cheese.
I don't want this shit.
They'll throw chicken in there. I don't want this shit in there.
Do you want to up it? No, I don't.
That sucks. Same thing with queso.
You want to make it fluffy? You want to put a fucking cow in it?
No. Stuff in queso. I'm already eating the meat. You like stuff in queso, but you'll do it with a fucking cow in it? No. Stuff in queso.
I'm already eating the meat.
You like stuff in queso,
but you want to do it
with mac and cheese?
Get that shit out of there.
Correct.
Weird.
What do you do with the queso?
What do you put in the queso?
More emergency water, please.
Like guac and ground beef.
Okay, well, guac is fine.
I don't eat it,
but that makes sense.
Ground beef, I don't.
I want cheese, god damn it.
The queso that they give you
at Matt's El Rancho
that has a little dollop of guac
and beef in it and you mix it all together?
Delish. Do you do that? You don't just
scoop part of it with the cheese? You like mix it all
up? Yeah, you have to. I don't think
you have to. Yeah, Nick makes it.
What about an artichoke dip? I hate guac.
I hate it, but I'm fine.
You have to. You mix it.
If there's shit in there, you mix it.
I want to even bite every time.
I think you just kind of scoop and then you go like, oh, this one doesn't have...
Well, then just get them separately.
No, because then you're getting so much queso that doesn't have it in it.
Right.
Because you're going to eat that first.
It's at the top.
Or you're getting all guac with like...
Exactly.
See, this is why...
This goes back to the artichoke dip food court.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that food court?
Of course not.
Really?
It was a...
They were like on a date.
Was it like a husband and wife?
I'm pissed that you assumed I would.
Yeah.
And it was like... One was pro-mixing. And the other one was against husband and wife? I'm pissed that you assumed I would. Yeah. And it was like-
One was pro-mixing.
And the other one was against it.
Well, I'm pro-mix.
Regardless of what I said at the time,
I'm pro-mix.
Yeah.
I mean, give me more examples.
Regardless of going to Papa John's.
Don't go back and use my words against me.
I'm telling you what I hear.
Do go back and try.
Fuck you.
Brooklyn style.
Yeah, but you said this.
Yeah, fuck you.
How about that?
I said that too.
You know what that is?
Growth.
Think about it.
You're welcome.
Think about it.
But I think it varies by the dip.
I can see a good argument for the Matt's El Rancho queso needing to be mixed.
Yes.
I wouldn't.
Yes.
Here's the thing.
If somebody else mixed it,
I wouldn't care if someone else
mixed the thing. I'd be like, whatever.
But I'm not the one who's gonna...
I'm not the one who mixes.
I'm the one who knocks.
I'm the one who writes into a podcast.
I approve that they don't mix it
when I forget to not order it.
Because then I take one chip, scoop it all out, and I throw it away.
Oh, that's right.
Goodbye, guac.
Yeah.
My wife really likes the guac in queso.
It's good.
She's all about it.
And you have to have the beef.
Yeah.
I don't think.
Is that an option?
I like the chorizo.
Torchies?
Torchies does the chorizo, I think.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I like that. Theirs has guac in it,izo, I think. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. I like that.
Theirs has guac in it, right?
I think so, yeah.
And cilantro.
Yeah.
They put so much cilantro in everything at Torchies.
Not when I order, they don't.
Through the app.
Through the app.
Never call.
So do you do that?
When you go to Torchies,
I don't know how often you go to Torchies now,
probably not a lot.
I just order up at the counter.
So do I.
Here's the thing.
But I don't get it to go ever.
If I go to Torchies and there's a line, I just order up at the counter. So do I. Here's the thing. But I don't get it to go ever. If I go to Torchy's
and there's a line,
I order it on my phone
in the goddamn line.
And then it's ready.
Well, not even it's ready.
I walk up and I just,
I'm just like,
I got,
I got this.
Give me a drink, please.
Give me a cup of water.
Because some schmuck
I'm going with
is still going to order it.
I'm waiting in line
with plebs.
And I'm like,
and I'm like, no, it plebs. Don't talk about Larry.
No, it's fine.
He's a gremlin.
Never go with him.
He wishes.
And then we're sitting there, oh, my food's done eight minutes before yours.
Yeah, because I ordered it
when there was 12 people in line.
Do you specify no cilantro when you order?
Yeah.
Oh, that's an option.
Yes.
Crazy as it may seem. But here's an option? Yes. Oh, okay.
Crazy as it may seem.
But here's the thing.
There's a little box.
Maya check no cilantro.
Like how their rice has cilantro, you can't select no.
Well, they add that shit later. I think they make the whole thing with the cilantro.
No, because one time I was there, and they do have plain rice underneath the thing that if you request cilantro, they'll pull up.
I saw it.
They told me I was wrong, but I saw it.
What the hell is he talking about
at this point?
I'm just talking about the...
Like the big...
What is that?
I'm talking about queso.
You're talking about rice.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
We're all talking about cilantro
at the end of the day.
I'm just saying queso
is just queso
at the end of the day.
At the end of the day,
it's all cilantro.
Here's what you get.
It's the queso,
it's Diablo sauce,
cilantro, and guac.
And I get no cilantro,
no guac, and I just get my delicious Diablo. No, that's good. Delicious Diablo. It's no queso, it's Diablo sauce, cilantro, and guac. And I get no cilantro, no guac, and I just get my delicious Diablo.
No, that's good.
Delicious Diablo.
It's no queso, and I get nothing.
You're probably the biggest proponent of app ordering that I know.
Yeah.
Because it's efficient.
I'll do it most places.
And it's a great way to communicate exactly what you want
without the risk of someone behind the counter mishearing you
that's my favorite part
when you say no cilantro to the person at the counter
then it turns into now they have questions
about other things
they say allergy or preference
it doesn't matter to you
it's also amazing when someone else
is picking up the food
instead of going here's what I want
you drive I'll order it from my bed Someone else is picking up the food. Uh-huh. Instead of going, here's what I want.
You drive, I'll order it from my bed.
Yeah.
You give a name or you give some stupid code.
McDonald's, only dumb place that gives you a secret code.
Yes.
Why? Are you going to use the mobile order?
Yes.
What's your code?
Five.
Seven.
Eight.
You can't tell them that.
I'm sorry.
You don't want someone else to take your McDonald's bagel.
Every other place ever,
here's my name.
Oh yeah, here's your food.
Not McDonald's. They don't fuck around.
Speaking of that today,
Gracie refused to go into the pizza restaurant.
Yeah, I did.
She had a good reason.
She does have a good reason.
She's been having bad luck lately with pizza restaurants. We've seen what's happened any time I've stepped foot in she had a good reason. She does have a good reason. She's been having bad luck lately
with pizza restaurants. We've seen what's happened any time I've set foot
in one of these pizza places. Well, we've heard.
She's been screaming about it. Well, y'all saw the first
incident. Yeah, we were in the car for it.
Yeah. Or I guess those were maybe two incidents
because we had to go to a couple.
Incidents taking place.
She was like, I did this for
curbside because Jordan was going to drive and she went,
no, I think it's attached to my car. I did it for curbside. It's attached to my car. And also, imagine you show up and they go, I did this for curbside. Because Jordan was going to drive and she went, no, I think it's attached to my car.
I did it for curbside.
It's attached to my car.
And also, imagine you show up and they go, I'm sorry, this is the wrong car.
You have the name, the receipt, everything.
That's definitely you.
They pull out a gun because they know it's a trick.
This is not the car that you said you were going to get down.
That was us tricking you.
Who are you?
You tricked a dog.
Who are you?
Get out of the fucking car.
Robbing him at gunpoint.
Sting operation style.
I thought the weirdest thing was that they made you put your hazards on.
Yeah.
Why did they do that?
I'm not sure.
I was just requested to do so.
Yeah.
Just to fuck with you.
I think it's some sort of social experiment.
It's just fun to make people do things for no reason.
Yeah.
I wouldn't know.
No.
But then I texted her and said,
woohoo,
your food's ready
or whatever.
And then it said
if it wasn't going to be out
in two minutes,
we got free pizza.
But they were out
seconds.
And as soon as she said that,
they showed up.
She started bragging about it.
Oh, yeah.
They also had something.
And here it is.
It's a very small storefront.
Yeah.
And I assume also inside
very tiny.
But they had a pickup window
where you don't have to walk in.
You just go up to the window and hit the buzzer and the window slides open drive-thru style.
Maybe this is like anecdotal.
But also in addition to Domino's being so superior, like in the food to Pizza Hut, they're so much faster.
They are.
I mean like obviously it depends on like you say you say you're getting delivered, like, where
you live, but I have a Domino's and a Pizza Hut damn near right next to each other.
They're, like, a block away from each other.
You make them race each other sometimes.
I don't because I never order Pizza Hut.
Pizza Hut would lose.
It is consistently, if it's not, like, some insane, like, Super Bowl weekend or whatever,
Right.
25 minutes for delivery for Domino's, which to me is nuts.
Pizza Hut, dude,
like sometimes I'll look
knowing I'm not going to order it,
but just to see
because it'll give you the estimate.
It'd be like 80 minutes.
Jesus Christ.
And I'm like,
yeah, maybe people are still
dum-dum in their brains
and there's just more orders at Pizza Hut,
but I can't imagine it's that much busier.
I think they just fucking suck.
Yeah.
I don't know what their system is, but it sucks ass.
Pizza Hut is the blue dog of pizzas.
Domino's, I've said this before, consistently, I'll get Domino's,
and even if it's late, it's not a, where's my goddamn pizza?
It's me going, oh, it doesn't usually take this long.
And that's 35 minutes, 40 minutes maybe.
Totally acceptable, right?
And it's not like cold, like it was sitting around.
Maybe they were just backed up or whatever.
Fucking half the time that happens or more, unprovoked.
I don't call anybody.
I don't do anything.
I get an email.
It's like, hey, man, I'm so sorry we fucked that up.
Here's a free pizza.
Because they took 37 minutes and it was supposed to be 25.
Domino's has their shit together, man.
They're quick.
And then Gracie wanted free pizza so desperately.
They might send you one anyway.
You should email them and say, your service
is great. Can I have a free pizza?
Here's two. Domino's is the
only... Can I get the Brooklyn one, though?
Domino's is the only food app
and let alone almost the only app
anyway I have on my phone that I have
notifications turned on.
You gotta know. Because I respect them.
Well, you have to know when the Brooklyn pizza is coming back.
You know what?
There's just a level of respect where, you know what, Domino's?
You're there for me.
I'll let this slide.
You can send me a little message.
99% of the time, it's fucking garbage I don't care about.
But still, every time I see it, I think, should I turn off notifications?
No.
No.
No. Respect. Mm-hmm.
No.
Respect.
Very nice.
Let's learn about New York style pizza.
Let's see how they explain this one.
Okay.
Domino's New York style pizza is made with fresh, never frozen dough that is stretched thin by hand.
Calm down, Gracie.
Close.
It is topped with a melty blend of cheese Made with 100% real mozzarella and provolone
And cut into six big foldable slices
Big
No it isn't
Did you feel like any of those slices were big?
No
No
They weren't
Again I don't
There's a difference between I guess a big slice
And a big slice of pizza
The thing is too
They were bigger slices
Like
It's
The diameter is different too Because You could even, you get a large pizza, whatever, hand-tossed, it's eight slices.
You could expect, well, maybe it's the same size large pizza, it's just cut into six slices, so the slices are a little bit bigger.
It's the same pizza size overall, but the slices are bigger because there's less.
But not, it's a smaller pizza.
Yeah, but it's not a big slice of pizza.
But like the big slice,
one of six,
is damn near the same size
as the one of eight.
Yeah, it's some sort of trick.
It's not.
I think this whole thing's a trick.
It's like shrink-flipping.
Well, no shit.
It's not even new.
And friend of the show,
Jess, was talking about
the different style
of like the hand-tossed pan or whatever.
Which is just called pan.
Exactly.
But she was saying like the thicker that like Pete like that is more she trusts that.
And then like the thinner it goes less trustworthy.
Less pizza, less trust.
Smart.
So this is almost the least trustworthy. I mean, you could not
almost get, like,
unless you're eating just the cardboard,
you can't get thinner. That's it.
We shouldn't trust them. We're getting tricked.
We are. But let's see
what the CEO has to say.
Eno's CEO. I'm sure he'll clear everything up.
Eno's prides itself on offering
a variety of pizza crusts for all
different tastes, said Russell Wiener, Domino's CEO.
Oh.
Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk.
Our pizza chefs created this new pizza crust to allow the deliciousness of our ingredients to shine through.
It has the perfect balance of crust, sauce, cheese, and toppings in every bite, making a pizza. Making it the star of the show.
New York style pizza may become our customer's new favorite crust.
You can say anything.
You can just fucking lie.
You can just fucking lie.
In what world is somebody eating that and going,
Dude, that might be my favorite pizza from Domino's. Furthermore,
who would eat that and go,
this crust really shines through.
What the fuck? There's less of it!
The only shining that it did was the pool
of fucking grease in the middle.
That's the one thing they got right. I'll say that.
You pull it up and it's pouring grease out.
Fuck. Classic.
Classic New York.
Oh, let me get a good slice.
There it goes.
I mean, just what a lie.
This might be people's favorites.
What the fuck?
I can't wait for the next press release.
Russell Wiener steps down as CEO after debacle.
I could argue that's not really a lie. That's just delusion.
The lie is that it's
not new!
And it's not
New York style.
It's Brooklyn!
Which is a borough.
That's, well, I'll ask Chris.
Pasta Pete. What he thinks.
Not on the list. Kings on the list.
New Jersey on the list kings on the list jersey on the list
he said manhattan he said bronx and then i said there's more than three but there's less than
told him to keep listing without telling him how many he has to live
it's so good he was befuddled oh i no idea. Did not know what a borough was.
He did not know about the system at all.
Kept asking what a borough was.
You know what?
And he's been there.
And I haven't.
Think about it.
Don't you guys have like weird counties or something in Jersey?
Don't you call them like townships or something?
Sure do.
Weird.
Townships.
Yeah.
Is a township different than a county though?
Because counties are still a thing, right?
Name all the townships.
Yes.
New Jersey. Yes, it is different. county, though? Because counties are still a thing, right? Name all the townships. Yes. New Jersey.
It is different.
Yeah, we also have counties.
It doesn't make sense, dude.
But that, to me, is a New England thing.
My city that I grew up in, or town that I grew up in, Woodbridge, was in Woodbridge Township.
Oh.
What county is that in, though?
Middlesex.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yep.
Wow.
How weird. What county is that in, though? Middlesex. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Yep. Wow. Now, is there a lot of overlap where Middlesex County doesn't have all of Woodbridge Township as well?
Like, that's part of Woodbridge Township?
Isn't other counties?
No, I think it's all in there.
It's all self-contained?
It's all in there.
Okay.
You're saying maybe there are townships that are like half wood in one county.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Also, the state's not that big. Yeah, no. bunch of different maps. I don't think so. Also,
the state's not that big. Yeah, no.
So I don't really understand it.
And isn't it like a lot of forest?
Yeah, there's some trees. I think it's got a lot of
protective woodlands. Yeah.
It's Pine Barrens where Polly goes.
That's where the Jersey Devil lives.
He's running around in the Pine Barrens.
Is that that Russian guy?
I thought he lived in the turnpike.
He drops change in.
He scurries on through.
I've been to the Newark airport.
Not New York, Newark.
Very confusing to people, by the way.
Very confusing.
One of the worst airports I've ever been to.
That sounds right.
Well, Gracie knows.
I've been there. They all suck, by the to. That sounds right. Well, Gracie knows. I've been there.
They all suck, by the way. Newark sucks.
Actually, yeah. JFK
sucks ass. Oh, yeah?
They're also far away from where you want to be.
You like a LaGuardia guy or what?
LaGuardia's like the least shitty,
but it's also like the least convenient usually
to go to. Any Teterboro fans?
What? No opinion.
Teterboro? That's the No opinion. Teterboro?
That's the one that in the movie Sully they said he could have landed at.
Oh, cool.
And he said, fuck you, I'm going in the river.
I'm good on you.
I'm a hero.
Sully, there's nothing wrong with the plane.
I'm going into the Hudson.
Why?
Stop.
Get a load of this.
Welcome to Face Jam.
We're doing Sully stuff in 2024.
I love it.
I mean, at least until vacation.
Chris, did you know who Sully is?
Yeah.
The movie?
All right.
Get this.
Based on a true event.
Yeah.
Based on a human man.
That was real.
Oh.
Did you know that?
No, I don't think I knew it was real.
That rocks.
Would that movie be interesting enough to exist?
Why do they offer that movie on planes is my question.
Because everything works out.
The plane doesn't blow up.
I'll say this.
Two minutes into the movie.
It is comforting.
Two minutes into the movie, the plane crashes into the New York skyline and it's a dream.
Yeah.
Cool.
So I think they cut that part out for airplanes.
Really?
They better.
Someone's going to be freaking out.
Well, great.
Now I have no idea what the time is.
We're good.
What's the.
I think we need to stretch this one out.
Sorry, I turned into Chris looking at pizza.
I don't think we do.
So what do you guys think about New York style pizza from Domino's?
I've been lied to.
Uh-huh.
Short sold.
Okay. Bamboozled.
Hoodwinked. Tell you what,
that's the New York experience.
Oh, fuck. Well, maybe. Hey,
maybe this is an authentic New York style
slice. Maybe my rating
just went up.
But no, it's about 100 times the cost
of an actual New York slice of pizza. There you go.
That's still dirt cheap somehow.
They didn't do anything different.
It's just Domino's ingredients on a slightly thinner dough, which if you get toppings, it gets thicker.
The cheese was way thinner than the pepperoni one.
And they take the seasonings of the crust that's so good on their hand-tossed one.
They take that off of the New York one,
so you're getting fewer good ingredients,
and it kind of makes the pizza a little worse.
So I'm disappointed in our golden child here.
I'm giving this one a 33.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, he really hates it.
Sheer disappointment.
Wow. Here's the thing. Everything he said is wow. Yeah, he really hates it. Sheer disappointment. Wow.
Here's the thing.
Everything he said is true.
Yeah.
But also,
man.
If it was Brooklyn style,
that chicken taco pizza
cheeseburger pizza.
Remember that?
That got a 23.
That one was pretty bad.
And that was
a fucking rotting piece of shit.
But they didn't deceive us.
Well, in a way they did in that it wasn't edible.
I think we knew exactly what we were getting at.
I'm just saying, look, this is a letdown.
This is a lie.
There's so many things to be said.
But it's still Eno's.
I gotta give it a 55.
55?
That's an average score of 44.
I can live with that.
Okay.
I can live with that.
Yeah, I'm not super against it.
I think that, I think if, I've talked about this a lot on the show, where the way that I look at this stuff is,
if you're a divorced dad and your kids are coming to your house for the weekend and they want to eat, you know,
what's the fun thing and you want to be cool dad?
New York style pizza from Domino's.
And this is the thing that they wanted and you
got it for them and would they want to
hang out with you all weekend or do they want to go back to mom's?
And don't get
this for your children. Yeah, but maybe mom
is getting Papa John's though.
Yeah, but just for like, because
politically she aligns.
Big news max.
Mom, turn off OAN.
Why are they always yelling at us?
It's just that.
It's like, I don't know that this is, if you're going to get this style of pizza, just get a pizza from like your local place that does a thin crust.
I grew up by a place that does a thin crust.
I grew up by a place called New York giant pizza and it was great.
It was huge slices,
super thin.
I mean,
they were huge.
When I was a kid,
it's two 50 for this giant slice and a soda.
Oh,
and we just ate it all the time.
That's great.
And it was like, that was fucking awesome.
When we opened this and they look,
it looked like a medium pizza.
It was so disappointing.
It was so disappointing. It was so small.
Again, having had it for years because it's the same thing,
I wasn't surprised at all, but it was fun watching your reaction.
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe it either.
I could not believe it.
There's a reason I looked solid.
You just continued one-wheeling around.
I was just circling.
I honestly could have not eaten it and given the exact
same review
I had just had
one slice this week
where
that's closer
to being authentic
New York style
and it's big slices
thin crust
and I
then I saw this
and I was like
oh boy
but if you're gonna eat it
you know you should get
the cheddar bacon loaded
oh my god
Gracie
we didn't even talk about this
Gracie got this
cheese bread that was stuffed with cheese.
No, the tots.
That was...
Eric, the goddamn tots.
Stop talking about things that aren't tots.
Shut up.
This is why Nick has to test for screaming.
Give me that gun.
Give me that gun.
Gracie got this cheese bread that was stuffed with cheese
and these loaded tots that were
bacon and ranch and like cheese.
I was wondering what the sauce was.
It's smoky bacon, mozzarella, cheddar, and garlic Parmesan sauce.
I think I had two.
I think we all had a couple.
I had three because they were stuck together.
Gracie sat down with a fork and said, I think twice, does anyone want any more?
And then.
Because y'all always get mad when I finish things and don't offer.
So I had to make sure.
And then right at the end.
Anyone want any more?
And then they were gone.
One thing Gracie didn't notice was that she walked away with.
She went to go get paper towels.
A good amount left.
And Erica ate it.
Oh, no, I saw it,
but there was no tots left in that.
You just got the bacon and cheese bits.
You just got scraps.
There wasn't a tot left,
because I did observe that.
Listen, you piece of shit.
You thought you pulled one over?
You thought she didn't know?
She left what she didn't want.
She's Domino's,
and you just ate it.
Erica, the tots!
She walked away with a smirk
and was like,
dumb fuck.
This'll get him. He's getting tots. the hot trap set because i left it there on purpose because there wasn't a tot
i was gonna blame it on nick you just got death that's what was funny that's what was funny is
like you did that and i was like grace is gonna mad. And then you said, I'll just blame it on Nick. And Nick's like, don't do that.
I didn't even get to eat it.
He wasn't even against it.
It was just,
I didn't get any.
Was his reason?
I'll take the heat if I did it.
If I get something out of it.
As long as I eat it.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
All right, let's get into this snack.
This is from Jason.
I know the plan was to go
to Knott's Berry Farm Boysenberry Festival,
but I wanted to give you a couple of boysenberry snacks.
I haven't tried these myself, but you try them out.
It's fucking Jesus Christ.
Here's this first thing.
We'll talk about that someday.
Yeah, in about a month.
On Face Jam Plus.
He said that he's including Freddy's jalapeno fry sauce.
If you haven't been to Freddy's, it's a national burger chain.
There's one close to my place in San Diego County.
Steakburgers, right?
I guess so.
Where?
What's the address?
Where's this place?
Where do you live?
I like this sauce.
Tell us what you know.
I love their fries.
So even a spice mouse should be good with it.
It's technically all for you, but if the sauce monkey calls dibs,
I hope he at least shares.
This is Jason.
What's up?
He's never been to Freddy's.
What's the other frozen custard place?
I've never been to Freddy's.
What?
Oh my God.
I'm not from here.
That guy's insane.
What I've said too.
I don't think,
he's in Escondido,
and that means it's in South Orange County
or fucking Riverside.
Every time I see Freddy's
because it's especially the F is like that
I think of Friendly's. It does look
like that. Friendly's-esque.
Have you been to Freddy's, Michael?
No. Nick?
Of course he has. Little monster.
Little freak. I knew we would be aligned. What's that
frozen custard place that's red as
well? It's not Andy's. I think
there's another one. If it is Freddy's. So there's a frozen custard place that's red as well. It's not Andy's. I think there's another one. If it is Freddy's.
So there's a Freddy's.
They should make a frozen custard place called Must Cust.
Oh, nice.
Why don't we do that?
Like, we got enough on our plate right now.
There's a...
We got sauce and nothing to eat it with.
They opened...
That's right.
What are we going to...
What are we lurking at it?
We're on our third tangent here. So they opened a Freddy's't we get this off? That's what I said. What are we going to look at? What are we lurking at it? Third tangent here.
So they opened a Freddy's up north where this guy up by Escondido, which in high school
we called Escondildo.
Don't worry about it.
Perfect.
No, it's great actually.
On Nordahl, which is next to Sayulita's, which is like one of my favorite.
Can I just say Brooklyn style for whatever reason, what you were saying that we're still
going.
I really wanted to just slap that phone right out of your hand.
Okay. You were sitting there talking and the urge was overwhelming. You ready? I'm going that we're still going, I really wanted to just slap that phone right out of your hand. Okay.
You were sitting there talking, and the urge was overwhelming.
You ready?
Just slap it.
Yeah, I guess.
You ready for boysenberry treats?
Sure.
This is from Jason.
Here we go.
Ooh, popcorn.
Boysenberry popcorn.
Okay.
And boysenberry licorice.
Yeah, those are mine.
I'll be having all of those.
Open that. I'll open this this we'll try them both How interesting
Wow
I can smell them already
What the hell
I don't think my smell ever came back after COVID
Well if you have it now it's okay
Are you sure
Remember the mezcal situation
At Applebee's It says boysenberry popcorn They're Cracker Jacks Now it's okay
It says boysenberry popcorn the cracker jacks yeah, it's a cracker jack There's a boysenberry cracker jack and then when you finish that aftertaste is boysenberry
It's good that it may be too good for me to like Gracie's munch on but like it's there
These are all stuck together what you doing dude, I'm trying to get a liquor you're failing
Filling oh, okay, it does what pop cart filling
interesting
Nick
Just give me a piece
Like I want like one of that man Interesting. Nick. Just give me a piece. I don't want a whole fucking piece. I'm just subtle enough.
I want like one tenth of that, man.
Oh, man.
I got some.
Well, they look like Twizzlers.
They're so sticky.
Oh, they're so sticky.
They are very sticky.
Why?
I hate it even more now.
You never really rip that.
You-
Dude, he's trying.
There you go.
You got it.
You got it!
Alright, this is a fat Twizzler.
Hmm. Uhhh! Oh, dude, he is sticky. You dude he's trying you got it got it all right. There's a fat Twizzler hmm
He is sticky
Like cinnamon yawning yeah
Yeah, I think it's good one thing I like about it is that with the popcorn and this it's not overpowering with boysenberry flavor. This is less poisoned than the popcorn.
I like the popcorn better. But this is something
It's pretty good. This is one of those snacks that like
it's just sweet enough and it's just
like chewy enough. Way too sticky though. Twizzlers aren't
that sticky. Why is it so goddamn sticky? Twizzlers are not sticky at all.
Sticky is the main problem.
Oh no!
You're a reptile now. Have you ever tried climbing a wall?
How would you know that you could climb a wall if you've never tried?
Whatever you do, first take your shoes off.
I had a friend.
You've got to be barefoot all the time.
I had a friend watch Madame Web over the weekend.
She texted me.
Why are you bringing that up?
I don't understand.
What's the correlation here?
The scene where she tries to stick to the wall is my favorite part.
So shoehorned in and so weird.
I like this a lot, though.
I could eat a lot of these.
Pretty good snacks. I would definitely
need to wash my hands afterwards. Dude, the way he's now
holding his phone to not stickify his
phone. I'm in hell. Yeah, I
know. I'm really glad that, like, and not only
did you touch it, but you ripped one off for me. Do you need some
emergency water? Throw it in his face.
Throw it in his face. You son of a bitch.
Just taking a swig. Also, thanks
for the fry sauce. Yeah. It's over there.
We'll try the fry sauce sometime with fries, I guess.
We should try it with the boys and fish.
We'll do the fry sauce two face jams from now.
Yeah.
I think I've been to Freddy's, but I didn't get anything to eat.
I got some frozen custard.
Yeah.
Their food is good, too.
Okay.
So, ranking these together, like, what score?
Pretty good.
75.
Hold on.
I'm still munching.
80. Wow. 78.5. 75. Hold on, I'm still munching. 80.
Wow, 78.5, nice.
That's a good snack, Jason.
Thank you.
That's a good snack.
This is the closest I'm getting to the Boysenberry Festival.
Goddamn right.
If you want to send us a snack, you can't.
Yeah, you can't read it.
It's still on there.
No, it's crossed out.
It says, crossed out.
Send out snacks if you want your snack rated.
Send it to Face Jam
percentage
Eric Berdour.
1901 East 51st Street,
Austin, Texas.
78723.
If you send it now,
still accepting snacks.
It'll get here just in time
for now and forever.
Now and forever.
No one can get it.
What's next?
Follow at Face Jam pod to stay up to date with everything. We have a Spittin' What's next? Follow at Face Jam Pod
to stay up to date
with everything.
We have a Spittin' Silly
next week.
Would you say this was
100% eat?
Well, yeah, we ate it all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
No bones.
No crumbs.
Just 100% eat.
We ate.
Yeah.
Just 100% eat.
Why do you keep saying that?
What do you mean?
100% eat.
See, now you got it.
I got you saying it.
Well, I'm the one that said it, so.
Yeah, I'm the one who said it.
I think that's 100%.
Gracie, in a very, like, outrageous way, was like, who said that?
A fan said that?
She had no idea.
I wasn't born yet.
She doesn't listen to the show.
I was still Moshi Monstering.
Well, I think that's 100% neat.
I remember I said, I said, it was episode two, three, I said 100% eat.
And then I went, my work is done here.
And that was five years ago.
Well, that was just like the little push down the hill.
And then we've been going ever since.
And I went at one point down the hill when Nick was rolling, a monkey mask rolled onto his head.
And I will say- Not really done.
100% eat, really paying dividends.
Really-
That's good.
100% dividends.
That actually hasn't paid me shit.
Not yet.
No matter what, whatever we do next, we have to keep it going for at least a year so that
we can go to the Boysenberry Festival.
Oh, yeah.
I think after that, well, if it's really good, we should keep going so that we can go again the boysenberry festival oh yeah i think after that well if it's really good we should keep
going so that we can go again next year let's plan the end of the thing that we haven't started
to end at boysenberry regardless of how well it's going well that's i think maybe we'll just start
another one after that then 101 percent heat what the fuck you can't do that. We can call the podcast The Boys and Berries.
Whoa!
And Gracie.
Girls and Berry.
Girls and Berry.
Alright, let's end this fucking episode.
Rate and subscribe, tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food.
And send Eric snacks!
And more pluffles!
Send him some wet paps.
He needs his hands dried. Yeah Yeah there's a piece of paper to
Wipe your hands
Wipe yourself off
You're sticky
I'm rolling my ass out of here
Bye