100% Eat - Eating a heroes meal %% Firehouse Subs Captains Club

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Our Heroes take it to the Firehouse to get the new Captains Club sandwich but what’s getting pumped out? It’s gotta be from the deep fryer, right? RIGHT? This place is way too big and it stinks. What’s happening? And are we getting this pickle bucket, it’s only $3. What a meal. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I gonna go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir. I'm keeping it simple. Starting small. That's trading on Kraken. Pick from over 190 assets and start with the 10 bucks in your pocket.

Easy. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. ["The Daily Show Theme"] Welcome to 100% Eat the Show where we try every fast food restaurant

to let you know if you need it. Thanks for the woo, Nick. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host Jordan swears Jordan. How are you? I really appreciate the little letting the Music breathe there because I just want to give another shout out to how good that song is very good Pigeon Studios Pete and Pigeon Studios Jen, baby. Yeah, they crushed it and Everyone should appreciate it every time they listen to this podcast.

All a good point, and also, Eric doesn't like it when we start and I don't read it, so I get that too. I think you did a great job, that was a really good intro. I thought that was fantastic. Usually the music starts and you go, wait, wait. Why didn't you start it? Start the show. I thought that was great.

I like the thread, that needle. Yeah, that song. Push him to his limit. That song's awesome, and it's cool because we don't have the rights to any of our old music or anything. And also when we used our old music, everyone would be like,

here's a Try Guys video that stole your song. And it's like, we had a website that we posted. Also, we didn't compose this music. We were gonna get another song like that that's like, I guess we'll use this, and then have to continuously pay for it. Or it was like, well, you can't use it here. Or you can't do it.

And we were like, let's just not do that. Let's get Jen and Pete to compose something. They're so talented. So we did it. And they're great. We're welcome. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Thank us.

Go to the comments right now. Don't pause this video. Scroll down and just say, thank you, heroes. That's all I wanna say. Don't pause this video scroll down and just say thank you heroes That's all I want to don't even click the leave a comment button. No you type it on your keyboard Just start video might start over See what happens if it starts like around and stuff. Thank you. Yeah, you're kind of like you're doing like a remix Thank us as many times as you can. There's no limit. There's no limit to the vote more than once a day He likes that.

Nick loves voting more than once. He likes everything today. Yeah, yeah. He likes doing the Trump stuff where Trump's like, go send in the ballot and if they don't count it, you can actually still go vote and then who knows, maybe they have to do a different kind of ballot count and it's fine.

And he keeps saying, people are already voting. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Who's voting already? Oh, I've been writing stuff down and just kind of like throwing in the air. So does that count? It's about the same I don't know. Oh see many people are asking this I question the integrity of the system. Oh, that's good I don't I don't I don't I can't be clear enough. That's good muddy the waters now smart with shit Was there they were where they're pumping it right they were you at the Firehouse Subs?

I was there. That's where they're pumping it. Right into the swamp. They were draining the swamp, I guess. They were filling the swamp. Today we're reviewing Firehouse Subs Captain's Club. We'll also be talking about the stench. Inside the restaurant. The stench TM

So you guys like the stench TM? It's a new thing. We're replacing the egg one steak sauce with the stench TM. That everything about that restaurant was weird except for the ordering experience, which was so normal. What would you rather have for the show? Honestly, I would rather have the order experience be fine because if I have another subway experience, I might have an aneurysm. To both. It's what I'm worried about. You are 100% going to have some sort of aneurysm or like a blood clot.

I'm surprised you haven't had an ulcer yet. Your head's going to explode. This guy's looking down the barrel of an ulcercer I think I'll never forget ordering at that Subway and then not getting the dipping sauce I don't think Nick will be in town Whoa, where all these people come from and then we go to firehouse subs. No one's there It's the easiest or yeah, can I get four of these medium? Yeah, you guys want anything else? No? Okay.

Whoa, no convention in town? Yeah. It was, oh, this is cool. The problem- Hey, you guys here for the shit? Yeah. So what's in that tube? Oh, the shit show.

Different kind, different kind. The problem with the Firehouse Subs is everything inside of it. 100 tables. There's. One hundred tables. There's so many tables. A pipe pumping shit from the back through the front door. Don't exaggerate, it was a hose. It was a green hose, flexible hose.

Let's say about this. It was probably close or bigger. It is a big, it was a- An industrial sized hose. And it was being a pump truck. It's Firehouse subs. It was like a big it was an industrial-sized hose and it was being a plate truck. It's firehouse sub God was it was like a big old shit back and so we were looking at it and Nick went it's for the grease We saw us getting into the got to the firehouse subs Not the firehouse got out of the car and we're like what's going on here?

Uh-huh and the hose Eric went in and he's going we wait is it open and I had to go see I'm just gonna wait out here. Yeah. And you walked in. He didn't come back. And then I went, the sign says open. And then you didn't come back so we wandered in and that hose went through the length of the entire building from the front door into the bowels. It really was funny that I was like, I walked in and my eyes were following the hose to be like like where's it going? Who's gonna be standing in the way prizes come out of it to tell me to like not come in maybe that cuz we're close Yeah, well there was one next to the shit hose

There was one caution, one little cone, wet caution sign and I was like it ain't wet yet. Nope. Hope there's not a leak But you know I'm thinking about it again where'm like, who knows what's gonna come out? Maybe that was Firehouse Sub's Fun Zone. Oh. It was not labeled properly. No. That's the one thing I'll give Denny's. It was, it wasn't the entire length of the restaurant

and it was labeled appropriately. That's the one thing I'll give Denny's. They needed a sign that said, don't slip on the shit. Jordan walked over the truck and he went went is this fucking fun song or not? Where's the signage? I went up to it. I was a waste. I was tapping my credit card on every I want to say You know they we're gonna ask if they can play with it, but they did they both started jumping over it Yeah, we did you weren't you weren't recording a video. I was I was recording a shit Oh is out the front door down the restaurant

I hopped over it and then Nick had to copy me. He had to copy you it monkey see monkey do that actually happened It was so loud and it Pumping and soul and not even the same stink no right like every couple feet in the restaurant was a different horrible smell. It was like, this section smells like farts. We chose the one area that smelled the worst, I think, and we just for some reason posted up there. Yeah, that was our set of tables that we decided to be at. There are, dude, does Firehouse Subs want you to eat at Firehouse Subs? I just think, clearly, I just think, now more than ever, every place that's like this is just, they're living off online orders. Like pick up online orders.

The only other people that like came in had online orders. And it was like, okay, that's, I mean, everyone was doing it. It also, it's not a confusing ordering process. There's a sign that says order here. The problem with it when we walked in is, shit tube coming out, don't know if it's open, sees a bunch of people working at the restaurant,

stopped every couple feet at the longest counter you've ever seen to see if anyone was gonna be like, hey, what sandwich can we get started for you and then you order down here? No one gave a shit. And you just keep walking and you't walk in and you just keep walking Just keep walking. They're stuck in the stink. They're going to make you a sandwich Dude, it was a hose with longer than yeah, yeah the counter it was comically far

And that's why I took a picture because it's a shit tube in the restaurant and also all The way at the other end Eric ordering yeah, and he's like a tiny man. He looks tinier than usual He's just like without zooming in uh-huh look how far away you it's so it's the longest restaurant It's like a sub shop. Yeah, I mean like they they had a long sandwich long Whoa if you look from a helicopter Long. Oh, whoa, if you look from a helicopter Seating is so much so that it seems like it's a like actual Pizzeria yes, it felt like people actually would sit and yeah, yeah, because it's not I mean like fast yeah

Subways are way smaller. Yes. Yeah, this place was like If it weren't all straight in a line because it was just like a long hallway That's essentially the building if it were more square shaped like they would have been everywhere Yeah, they would have had a full like big rectangular seating area, and I don't know why no I I don't know who's going there sitting down and eating firehouse subs when they're pumping shit through a tube We kept Nick was like grease trap. Yeah, they're pumping shit through a tube. We kept, Nick was like, grease trap. Yeah, they're pumping all the grease traps. And then we went, what grease?

In the middle of the day. But what's being fried at the Firehouse subs? Right, why do they have grease? They sell bags of chips and they sell hot and cold sandwiches. I don't know. The chips. They aren't frying Ms. Vicky's chips. They make their own. It's not. They make their own, that could be it. I don't think the chip they aren't frying Miss Vicky's chips

They make their own that could be it Don't think they can make you can always tell Nick is confident What he's saying when his voice gets higher and higher his voice always gets higher Oh, it's it's become a thing more common over the years Used to mean something Now I'm doing the intro and he went, Woo! It's like fucking Gracie.

Yeah, he's trying to be Gracie. I appreciate it, but in what way was this intro different than any other one? I think he's jealous of the Gracie attention, so he's trying to get some Gracie attention for himself. Yeah, everyone loves Gracie and he's going, it's like, you know when you get like a new puppy and like the old dog is like, what the fuck? Oh, plotting the murder of a new one. I don't think so. See, I don't think so. Because Gracie has he's going it's like you know when you get like a new puppy and like the old dog is like What the fuck? Plotting the murder of the new one See I don't think so because Gracie has only enabled Nick further Oh gosh She fucking has

It's not competition. It's synergy and it's unfortunate Oh See I think Gracie brings out the best in all of us Did you? Oh man Did you see the message from her? I did Did you see the message from her in Slack? She said where she's at right now, the valet when she got her car back has been putting

the parking brake on every single time. And she says, and he doesn't know that I don't know what that's for. He doesn't know, I don't know where it is. Way to go. Pretty cool. Use your parking brake please. That's what it's for. It's for.

Please. Yeah. Jordan, you ever been to Firehouse Subs? Nope, not once. I know it's founded by firemen. It is. I've heard that in other stories. Founded and operated.

Yes, operated by firemen. If they get a call on that red phone. You're waiting, dude. Yeah. They gotta go. If your sandwich is almost done, they gotta go fight a fire. You gotta support them, you know?

How else are they gonna make money? We're certainly not gonna find them by the dollar like what do you mean? Yeah, you buy three dollars of pickle spears Yeah, I would buy three dollars of pickle spears just to have disgusting there I'll say I'm not to spoil the review. Uh I like a good pickle spear. I'm not ashamed to admit I Don't like that Nick's whispering fuck. Yeah, they it. Makes me think I probably shouldn't have said that. I'll say it. But I didn't really like it. I gave him mine, I hate pickles. I think their pickle spears are lacking.

I thought it was okay. I think a Jason's Deli pickle spears better. I can see that, I can see that. I mean like, Firehouse is a chain. I don't think it's a huge chain, but it is a big, I think it's a big chain. I think there's a lot of them. A lot of firemen.

A lot of firemen in every city. Well, every city, think about it, every city has government buildings. And so every city has to have a fire station, and then every city probably has to have a firehouse up. Right. Somewhere for the firemen to work. Yeah, that's where else are they going to work. Well, what are they supposed to do when they're not fighting fires, idiot? Well, a lot of the firemen are volunteers. Oh Well, it's all our municipalities. Yeah. Oh, I thought they were volunteers at the sub shop the firemen. I am volunteer Paid and then there's volunteer. I thought they were volunteer sub makers. No, no, that's how they're not sub Those are the children. They volunteer putting out the fire works there

But then they got it they got to pay their bills somehow and so how I looting from the burnt so how is I've heard They do so how are they making money off the shit tube? What's they're selling it? They're selling the shit. They're selling their shit. Oh, no, they're outsourcing it to who who's buying it whoever wants it There you go fertilizer. He got there yard companies I assume what he meant yeah fertilizer your companies. No people who sell yard. Oh, what do you do? I have a yard sales Oh, what do you sell the art? Oh, no no no I sell the whole yard I'm selling yard you have to put things out for sale. I sell you the yards you own the house just the yard I I can get you in in this new model of yard that just came in It's got all the bells and whistles. Yeah, it's got one tree. I could throw it I could throw in some shrubs. We got a deal with firehouse subs all over this thing once

What kind of work you in yard sales, what does that mean? Uh take human shit sprayed all over I work with firemen that's just one facet The part that I like You know I take all the firefighters shit and it's sprayed all over your sand a lot of firemen that I knew at least in Jersey this is kind of a stereotype Oh, you want to talk about volunteers? How should I say Tony Soprano? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? You walk you watch them. It's like thank you for saving my life. Please don't use the bathroom

Yeah, please do not use the bathroom Reminds me of a story of a certain... Don't worry about it. You might have a problem there, just call Firehouse, they'll come clean this up. By the way, here's my card, I worked there. This is like when you had to piss on piss last time, this is fucked up. Well I was gonna say it reminds me of a certain story- You're P.L.I.P.! Is this a problem? It's a toilet.

No, don't! Reminds me of a story of a certain electrician, who used the bathroom in the house he was working at, and couldn't flush the toilet. I remember that story story that guy was crazy Couldn't flush it so he had to punch it Incredible could have been anyone in this no idea what You've been to firehouse ups a Few times. Oh really once or twice Like back home or here? No here. In a very like, I'm somewhere and I'm not normally, right?

Like I'm at kids soccer game on the weekend. Or like, I feel like one or both times was probably like in Pflugerville. It's just one of those like- Firehouse Ups seems like a primo Pflugerville spot. I'm in a place that's like, not in Austin. There's plenty of places to go, but like a lot of Pleugerville spot. I'm in a place that's like not in Austin there's plenty of places to go but like a lot of Fleugerville is just like BOOM like shopping centers and I'm pretty sure

I've been to a Firehouse Sub definitely once at least twice or at least once if not twice but it was just like while I'm here right like I'm going from an event or like a kids birthday party that was up north and I had it and I was like, yeah. Yeah, I wasn't like it was awesome. I went Jersey Mike's is way better Yeah, to me. It doesn't seem like it does anything to really distinguish itself from any other type of generic sub

Restaurant other than they have a uniform hanging at the front and we all saluted it when we walked in I didn't yeah What I like the mural drop to my knees and prayed I liked the mural The mural we were sitting next to which was just a big old like house fire and didn't even notice a mural Was right next to us I didn't even know it was huge we were here and the wall was here I didn't I just again talks. It was this. Yeah. It was right next to us. I didn't even know this. It was huge. We were here and the wall was here. I didn't, I just didn't even see it.

Again, very much like a pizza restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Every single pizzeria you ever go into. But it was a strange mural because it was just firemen putting out a fire. Well that's what they're doing when they're making sandwiches. But it's like, it's like, they didn't look particularly heroic or anything. I don't know really what.

Yeah, honestly I looked at that mural and I thought they all looked like fucking pussies. Yeah, put out the fire faster. They look like volunteers. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about Yeah, make my sandwich I bet cops gonna stop that fire. Do they? Do they toast they don't toast their sub like the sub wasn't toasted was it was it warm? It was warm It was not cold. It was warm. Yeah, it wasn't yeah, but it wasn't cold. Yeah, right? No, it wasn't cold So it was heated in some manner. I guess so I

Guess the chicken was hot. It was warm. Yeah, it was not cold. No, that is the fact the but was the there's a Thinking technique, I can't think of if the bread was warm. I don't think it was I I got it and touched it I went not cold. Yeah Not cold And went, not cold. Yeah. Not cold. They probably threw it in the microwave. But like, but what you're saying, I think is right,

about what's the thing that distinguishes them, because Quizno's had the toasted subs and Subway's eat fresh and all the stuff, and it's like, I just don't know what their thing is other than fireman? Yeah. I don't know. I don't, I-

Oh, maybe they're trying out the shit vacuum or whatever. Like maybe it'll become their next thing. They're trying out to see if the shit vacuum is the thing. In select markets. People come back again and again because unlike other sub places, we steam our meats and cheeses. Are you serious? We're releasing a rush of flavors, then stuff a serving that's way over code on one of our toasted Private recipe sub roles so wait so they steam their meats and cheeses But then stuff it into a toasted roll that's what I just read but like I'm trying to figure out I don't did any is steamed even their ham Steamed ham and that's where the grease comes from we've got

Steam teams hands, I and that's where the grease comes from we've got Right into the toilet Yeah And then put the tube into the toilet and pump it out and make you walk past it and you can touch it if you Want to no one's stopping jump over it you can do whatever you want you can make it a fun game They did children can play around double-dutch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's some kids near it. Watch out kid get stuck in there Yeah, uh-uh To you're following the tube and all sense like a snake Billy and Augustus group style child through the tube and then a fireman plays a little flute and then

And then a song gets on yeah, I shouldn't do that Yeah, a bunch of firemen start singing a song about it, but they're all small fire the guy in the windmill goes crazy. Yeah This is great. This is all a good idea I really don't have a I've never been firehouse subs. I don't think I have your have you ever started a fire Yeah, but not excellent. Yeah, I definitely started a fire. Yeah, I almost burned down my friend's apartment once. It's pretty cool Better luck next time. Yeah, he stopped it. Oh I made it look like an accident though, so it's cool Brandy was just too fast for that

No Hey, what are you doing? Let's talk about this Analyzing it I say The best way to tackle this? We should have a meeting. Hey, do you guys want to learn about Firehouse subs? Not really. What? I'll only say yes if Michael reads it.

Okay. All right. I'll do this just this time. Yeah. What does possible sound like for your business? It's having the spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit redefine possible with business platinum That's the powerful backing of American Express terms and conditions apply visit MX dot C a slash business platinum I

Feel like this one is not Eric's just from the first tells you growing up in a family that is both entrepreneurial and built on decades of fire and police service that is both entrepreneurial and built on decades of fire and police service It seems Chris Sorensen and Robin Sorensen were destined to start firehouse subs are Fact taken from our story section of website They were destined for this well it seems the meat was placed upon their feet as babes And they and they could we must steam we must One brother said steam the meat, one brother said steam the cheese. Toast the bread. I'll be the steamer, I'll be the toaster. I'll be the shit guy. Get out of here! They tried to box him out but now it's his time.

The third Robinson started a septic business that is now merging with firehouse This fucking shit brother geez firehouse subs and shit removal service If you have too much shit, we'll drain that swamp and then we'll sell it and Nick will have his yard yard sales. There we go Card sales is still so funny Their family is both entrepreneurial and built on decades of fire no no never go it means right when you catch a guy and you go let you off if you give me this amount of money Oh business yeah entrepreneurs like the what the fuck was it what was it what? What was the squad called? The Viper Squad? Oh, oh, uh, in the Shield? What the hell was it called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah Viper... what was it? Strike Team Strike... yeah, but no, they had a name though, right? I don't remember Maybe it was... Striking... Striking Distance Whoa!

Anyway, it's like, you can't be selling drugs, give me those drugs And I'll smack you around a little bit We should recreate... Thanks for the drugs, idiot We gotta recreate some moments from the shield as striking distance. Oh, yeah Who's Michael chickless who's Ronnie? Sure yeah sure I'll be fit Maggie you want I mean John short straws here, dude. Can I be Shane go for it?

You see the end of the show Hey, you should catch up. No you should just be like Shane and then Hey fellas, I want to be the shield oh He can hold you around his neck and fucking walk in with him swinging back and forth. The chain necklace. You're waving at the camera. On the shield. Title drop.

Earning the nickname the anti-subway by Business Insider in 2015. Firehouse Sub says their way of doing things focuses on piling your sandwich high with meats and cheeses Wait leaning away from the fresh moniker subway come to firehouse eat like a soprano's character And don't worry about any fucking Jared's running around here bring your kids. It's fine. There's no Jared's here. We're the anti subway It's fine There's no Jared's here. What's the problem? I love that leading away from the fresh moniker subway could not be more embodied Fuck so I was eating fresh in here Hold on not if I can help it firehouse subs ate fresh

Firehouse subs eat shit You know how Nick's dad was like oh, let's go to subway and eat the rest Yeah, firehouse subs is like I eat in big meal. I pack it in wait till I gotta take a shit I go to firehouse subs. I drop it and then I order a big meal, I pack it in, I wait till I gotta take a shit, I go to Firehouse Subs, I drop it, and then I order a sandwich on the way out. It's a family tradition. Yeah, I got room now. It's entrepreneurial of me.

So smart, so smart. I'm gonna start my own Firehouse Subs. I love their thing, even cause when you read it, it was like, we stuffed this thing so far beyond code, it's criminal. And it's like, their whole thing is- Like a code, cause they criminal. And it's like their whole thing is this is too- Like a code, because they're firemen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like this thing is too packed.

When you- It's more like an inspector thing, but sure. When you looked at that sandwich, were you going, man, this thing's packed. I didn't think, oh, it's measly, to be fair, which like subly is, but it wasn't like, oh! Could have been the thing we ordered, but I don't think, I don't think so. I mean it was it was reasonable

It certainly wasn't like, oh, it wasn't piled on my sandwich like I'm a soprano's character. Yeah, that's true I ain't gonna get big like Tony eating that. Yeah, I ain't gonna get a big heart attack either Yeah, it was I mean you could tell it was like above code the way that they built those sandwiches then you that's fine Well, I think the inspector came in and said you got to scale this back I think inspector came in and said smells like fucking shit here. He's got to pump this out. He's like that's yeah But we're talking about the fire inspector not the health inspector. No, no, no, we don't care. That's the fire inspector Said you got to pump this shit out of here. Yeah Dude, how is that? No problem. Any source of help? We're gonna run it through the back. No, you're not

You're gonna run it right through the middle of whole damn badge of shame a scarlet letter You'll let everyone know so we're gonna close the restaurant. No, you're not you're gonna open and leave people wondering You're gonna let people know you've been doing big shits in here and where everyone's gonna walk by and be like, oh they're dumping in Here big stig's must be in there taking big shit Better get a firehouse sub these guys must have been eating at Subway Remind me remind me the character in the Sopranos who died on the toilet Oh, Gigi he uh you think if that if the Sopranos took place today Gigi dies in a firehouse sub No, absolutely he's taking a shit

What would happen is he ate Thanksgiving dinner and then he went to firehouse subs Yeah, he talked he talked about how it was like spackle in his bowels. Yeah, she dies shit That's how GG dies. It's like it's so perfect Let me tell you if I had a nickel for every time a David Chase show had somebody die in a toilet, huh? Pretty good, man. Probably have at least two. Yeah, he's got he's got a thing. I think it's great Yeah, well, it's like Beetlejuice and doing like fetish content. You know what I mean? That's not fetish content. That's Tim Burton. That's normal people stuff. We were talking a lot about like how Tim Burton's fetishes are on full display in the new Beetlejuice movie in the Firehouse subs

It smelled like shit. We're talking about fetish content. We're talking about farting babies There were some Parting babies Baby, I don't know that's one of his fetishes, but like the babies got something to do with it. Yeah You gotta say like beetle juice Next fact after hurricane Katrina devastated the south firehouse started the Firehouse Subs Public Safety Foundation, a charity focusing on raising money and shipping equipment to first responders. In 2018, FSPSF raised... Horrible acronyms.

...raised $33 million for 43 states and Puerto Rico. The seven states left off have to be pissed. They gave money to Puerto Rico before you? Dude, that's embarrassing They raised money by selling pickle buckets or collecting spare chains, and they didn't give you any of that cash be mad But maybe only at Puerto Rico start a rumor And then and then just say you made it And then just go on TV and be like yeah, I just like you know I made that up I have to keep making up stories about Puerto Rico until I get my money You made that up. No, I didn't yeah

Sorry what you're breaking up I'll lie all goddamn day until you give me some of that firehouse subs money you son of a bitch And that's why JD Vance is the only man for this job And that's why JD Vance is the only man for this job. Why are you bringing him up? He's got such fireman energy. Yeah I bet Ohio was probably one of those seven states, you know. Oh, yeah, they didn't get any of the fizz money But then he would boom boom. He's just taking that on any island or country in the Caribbean He doesn't know that Puerto Rico is different from the other one and he's just like I'm swinging wild here. I'm going crazy. They're doing Get a load of this boss

Believe what they're doing Yeah, yeah boss, boss you won't believe what they're doing. I do, I do believe that. I saw you say it on TV. Yeah, you should say that. Right, this man I saw on TV, I don't know who he is, but I really like what he's saying. I've never seen him before. I don't talk to this guy, I can tell you that. Probably had never seen him.

No, absolutely not. Probably still has. Oh you're that guy? That's you? You're the guy on the TV. Hey, I hear pop sensation JD van She's very hot JD JD oh JV dance bring her up. She's hot. She sounds hot. Oh, I bet she's the looker

I Reminds me of the wedding The wedding singer okay when George the The guitarist in Adam Sandler's band are singing and the only song he knows how to sing is do you really want to hurt? Yeah, and Steve Buscemi's like vibing in the back. Oh, I like her. I like her JD fans she's gotta be hot There's only two left wow we can we could make this the whole episode Goose

Goose is a good movie definitely over 48 and a half writing Wow It would be definitely over 48 and a half. Wow, that's pretty good. At least a 50. Last year, the city of Sterling Heights, Michigan, I don't know if anybody is eating anything there, settled a $265,000 lawsuit after a teen who was waiting for his dad to pick him up outside the firehouse subs

where he worked was tackled and arrested by a police officer. Oh no. This might look bad, but the police chief said it's an isolated incident. Again, it did cost the taxpayers $50, but the Chilean, but the police chief said It's an isolated incident again. It did cost the taxpayers over $250,000 but the police chiefs I can't say please she Said it was fine because there were no injuries

We're starting to think Michigan might be one of the states that didn't get the Puerto Rico pickle bucket money Maybe they thought the teen was from Puerto Rico? The sauce monkey will investigate any racially motivated crimes. Any and all. You better believe when I wrote that this morning, I was laughing out loud. Thinking about the monkey having to investigate racially motivated crimes. Puts on his deer stalker hat. By going going little pipe He's he shows up and he's immediately out of his depth and they go this way this white police officer tackled this black teen

The force detective you've ever seen. Where'd he get the fucking horn? I would totally like buy like him showing up and like just the police officer being like it's okay let him in. Lift up the tape. Let him in. So here's the situation. Here's the situation sauce monkey. What do you think? What are we gonna do?

Oh yeah. Oh. Let him in. So here's the situation. Here's the situation sauce monkey. What do you think? What are we gonna do? Oh no. I'm thinking maybe go strike team on this. You want to Shane it or? Open fire. What are you talking about? He was just a kid.

Firehouse subs. Open the firehouse subs restaurant. That's what he's trying to do. Open fire! They whisper that part in. Bring in the shit truck! Now here's the thing, we actually don't know that they were sucking it out. They could have been pumping it back in. They could be making it stronger in that firehouse subs

That is too powerful Wow I didn't even think about that Now when you do like like a brick oven pizza Yeah, like all the cookings of the pizza add to it over the years could be a situation like that We don't know where they're pumping that shit to true literally. What do you think steams the the meat and cheese hot hot hot messes? steamy Literally, what do you think steams the the meat and cheese hot hot shit hot messes? steaming Next yard sales are disgusting You guys are losing me in

2022 The city of Sacramento, California In 2002, the city of Sacramento, California dismissed their fire chief who immediately filed a $10 million wrongful termination lawsuit alleging that he was fired for a misconduct case and a city manager deliberately tried to infect him with the novel coronavirus. The misconduct case stems from a racially insensitive Halloween costume worn by the fire chief, and the NAACP claims that they received complaints that the chief was using racial slurs in jokes and fired women of color. Oh no!

This is less about Firehouse subs and more about what happened at a firehouse, but we wanted to give the sauce monkey another crack at getting after one of these racially motivated cases So we're excited to see his findings He's like a McGruff the crime dog, but more woke which is a term. We're not sure he fully understands McGruff the crime dog is sleepy He's awake He's fully awake and alert to take on these racist motives. He woke up.

What's the problem? So what was the case for wrongful termination? They said that he had a bunch of these little complaints, he calls them little complaints, about, oh yeah, that I was being racially insensitive and that I fired black women. And I wore a costume. And then he wore a pimp costume. And so it just stacked enough. And then he had been getting in huge fights

with the city manager. And then when the city manager called him into his office to let him know that he was being let go, the city manager was wearing a mask and the police or the fire chief said, why are you wearing a mask? And the city manager said, I have COVID. And so this-

So he thinks, oh, he's trying to kill me. So he walked out, he's like, he's trying to give me COVID. And when they asked the city manager about it, he went, I didn't have COVID. Pfft. So I'm not really sure that this guy has a leg to stand on. So what was the wrongful termination lawsuit? I guess I'm confused.

I think- Oh no! That all of these racially insensitive cases, some of them were dismissed, so they shouldn't count. They kinda seem like it was right. Yeah. Just kinda based on this guy's attitude. Dude, I was erroneously fired, why?

We don't know. Really? Also this stuff happened, but what does that have to do with me. Why? We don't know. Also, this stuff happened. But what does that have to do with me getting fired? It doesn't make sense. The first story that I- That doesn't make me a bad fire chief. The first story that I read about it had a video of him being interviewed

by the local news station. And he was like, you know, they try to give me COVID and all this stuff. They tried to get me COVID. I was doing my job, heroic, blah blah blah, whatever. And then the follow up story is like, here's an interview that we did with a woman with the NAACP that just talked about, oh we've been dealing with this guy for years!

Oh no. Pretty good. Sounds like he's better at starting fires than putting them out. Uh oh. Where there's smoke, there's fire. Think about that. And where there's shit, there's smoke there's fire think about that hmm and whether shit There's a firehouse up and where there's this guy. There's no black women working It's gonna get to the bottom He's close

That's what he said He cleared him that's what he said Courtroom it gets put on the stand guilty You're welcome Duty oh my god such a good idea for a skit It's such like a five seconds films thing where he's like the new McGruff the crime Dog and he just goes guilty Dude he's a NASCAR driver. He's a detective this guy do it all He's been a killer. Oh, yeah, it turns out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true. Yeah, don't worry about that one. Yeah

Yeah, he wasn't there. Yeah, we don't know what this guy does or what he is. Does he have a tail I? Fought just a reference to me. Uh-huh. We're gonna use this no you're not why? Because that's not Nick. Yeah, what does it matter well? People will be confused why? It seems like you're confused right? Oh People will be confused. Why? It seems like you're confused. Right.

Oh man. We know more about it than you do. Can we use the monkey mask from Face Jam? Is it gonna be Nick? No. Just, we thought it'd be a cool mask. The sauce monkey is Nick. I can send you the link where there's like 50 other animals.

No, we want that one. Yeah, we want this. This is what people know. They do? And so, according to all the meetings I have to go to, no they don't. Hey Jordan, do you want to teach us about the food? People know. They do? And so, according to all the meetings I have to go to, no they don't. Hey Jordan, do you want to teach us about the food? Teach us? Please.

The Firehouse Subs, Captain's Club. I'm finally going to learn what was in this. Yeah, which, which. I ate it. Now, can I say by the way, have we figured out if he's a pirate or not? No, but Nick thinks he is, but I'm going to go ahead and say if you based on the rest of the sandwiches called like The Engineer and the Hook and Ladder Salad and everything So one's a football player the other one looks on like websites This fucking sucks

Do they have any sort of like, yeah, do they have any sort of through line with the firemen? No, they're all different So they got a pirate captain Uh-huh That's what he did when I went He's like a captain's company's like error Maybe it was because it's a captain. I said that's not a captain. That's a pirate It was so immediate to it was like so fast

We've been together for we'd been together for three minutes Covers like every single like like job employment you could have like on the planet So what's it that makes us a pirate captain captain? Hey, let's eat it and find out. It features our signature Captain Sorensen's hot sauce. They have that in our new firehouse hero sauce. That sounds like something we would come up with. Yeah. Along with... I made it myself.

Oven roasted chicken. Oh no. Oven roasted chicken, melted pepper jack cheese, crushed red pepper flakes, crispy bacon, lettuce, tomato, and onions. No period. Nothing to this really. Oven roasted chicken, what about steamed?

I think they probably, I think they oven roasted the chicken to cook it, and then when they ship it to the place, they go- I'm sure it's oven roasted and then frozen, or refrigerated. And then steamed. Bring it back the place they go I'm sure it's uproasted and then frozen or refrigerated And then steamed Bring it back to life through the power of steam Yeah dude

Like a White Castle burger From the Industrial Revolution This should be a steampunk restaurant instead of whatever the fuck it is Also not getting in the rear yet Was anyone's bacon crispy? No! It was soggy as shit It was

Placid bacon It sure looked like bacon. That bacon was embarrassed. Uh oh, this is okay. It happens to most bacon. Yeah. He was being shamed. It was really like... He just got out of the pool.

It was a cold steam shower. I got out of the steam and it's so... I mean it's cold out here. It's freezing and it smells like shit. I got out of the steam and it's so I mean it's cold out here. It's freezing and it smells like shit They ruined our bacon. That's the one you don't hear as often. Right yeah But it's a contributing factor. Yeah, no it happens. I mean again. It's just just a hose of shit It was through the building. We keep bringing it up because it's the only thing that I'm going to remember. We got there and went What's going on here

Do not be closed for that is wild Wild surely it's a health code violation has to be has to be there's no way that they are allowed to do what they did I'm smelling it. I'm eating If you're smelling it, it's in your nose. I know it's I'm saying it's in your fucking mouth is where it's at Hey, why I separated my nose from my mouth smart. They no longer connect smart Press release at the core of our brand is flavorful food service and public safety what I? Didn't feel safe as the public in there right just say I felt at risk I was an at-risk youth within the firehouse. I felt like I was gonna get tackled any moment.

Many of our flavorful hot subs were crafted by our firefighter founders and inspired by meals served in the fire station and since our foundation's inception in 2005 we've awarded more than 84 million dollars in life-saving equipment and resources to first responders and public safety organizations said Mike Hancock, president firehouse subs million in life-saving equipment and resources to first responders and public safety organizations," said Mike Hancock, president, Firehouse Subs. What does this have to do with the food? And is that $84 million? Did any of it go to Puerto Rico?

No, it did. Don't tell Jordan. He might freak out. Some of it did. He's not flying to seven states, though. I just don't think we can afford another flight for the monkey. Yeah, no, he's about to figure it out. He's about to get the bottom of it. That is the press release. It has nothing to do with the monkey. Yeah, no, he's about to figure it out. He's about to get the bottom of it. Uh, that is the press release. It has nothing to do with the food. Yeah, it sure didn't. Uh, it's just,

it's just a guy going, yeah, it didn't say much. No, it didn't say shit. Buy the pickle bucket. Buy the pickle bucket. Buy, that's a, that's a bucket that big for three dollars. Five gallons for three bucks. If I like, full of pickles spears if I like pickles I'm getting that like crazy. I kind of feel like we'd be stupid not to go back and get it It's three dollars so much vile disgusting You didn't even like the pickle it's true. You were just you were the one that said that you're right, but it's only three dollars Yeah, but also he spoke ill of the pickle compared to better pickles. That's true. It was in general Yeah, you're on this pickle train. It's also-

Do you like any type of pickle? Like pickled carrots? Oh, I like everything that's not a pickle. Oh. You like shit? I like pickled shit. Yeah? I can get you some. I'm about to jump in.

I know. So we do need to go back, is what you're saying. That is, can you believe how fucking far that is? Yeah, we just kept going. It was so far to get to a firehouse subs. It was further than the fucking Austin that is. Yeah, we just kept going. It was so far to get to a firehouse sub. It was further than the fucking Austin FC stadium. Yes, and like that's the closest one. There aren't like a lot of fast food places

closed in Austin right around the time that we started this podcast. They got scared. They got scared we were gonna ruin their business and they just closed up shop early. And since then, so many have closed. So, so many have closed. So, so many have closed. And, like, they're all on, like, the outskirts up in Pflugerville, or in Round Rock, or whatever.

I mean, we drove by a lot of good-looking restaurants that I would have rathered gone to. Right, right, but how many of those were pumping shit that you could visibly see? None. Oh, then... That was, that was a good... that... ...pronouncing it as complimentary. Yeah! So lucky for us, honestly. That was a good, that is complimentary. Yeah.

So lucky for us, honestly. Hey, we're gonna get into the review that we have for Firehouse subs, but we need to hear from you in a segment that we call You Review. There are three. I think- Jordan should read the last one. I definitely think Jordan should read the last one.

Oh boy. The first one, I think Jordan should read the first one, Michael should think Jordan should read the last one. Oh boy. The first one. I think Jordan should read the first one. Michael should read the second one. That's how I feel. Laura W. Bush? Yes.

Update. Tried this location again today and was once again burned. Steamed. It is a firehouse. I don't know what to tell you, lady. I ordered a hook and ladder with mayo and lettuce. It took forever, like always. Got home and realized they didn't put cheese on the sandwich. Why would they assume somebody wouldn't want cheese on their sandwich unless they specifically say no cheese?

This is an update to no other post. I was wondering if there was a part one. I looked everywhere. I looked everywhere. I looked everywhere. It was like Laura's profile? It was like Slack though. Oh, after like 90 days? You have the free version,

you can only go back 90 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I looked, I could not find the update. I don't know what she was updating. Did she have other reviews on her profile? Didn't see. So the thing that I don't understand is she didn't order anything with cheese.

Why did she assume there would be cheese? She says right here, I ordered a hook and ladder with mayo and lettuce. Does a hook and ladder come with cheese? I have no idea, but she ordered it with mayo and lettuce. Does it come with that? She didn't say, she didn't say and cheese. No, but now she's going, where's my cheese? I didn't say specifically no cheese, but I also didn't say yes

Do they make it in front of you I was standing off to the side Yeah, so they don't make it they make it there behind like that big counter But you can't like see over the you're not walking down the line I was busy just sucking up the shit. They are they're a straight up You don't need to watch us make the sandwich. You're gonna make your fucking sandwich. We're hiding all the shit back here Don't worry about don't worry about this shit pump Eat this don't wonder what that's for. Yeah. Yeah, it's a separate business. I'm a big fan of update with no Yeah, update yeah update I maybe I'll do that we're going on in the next one if you'll do that tomorrow Here's where we ate.

No, what? How is this an update? Update to what? Yep. Next! Crystal E. I was so excited when I moved into my new place and saw a Firehouse subs next door. Why?

Unfortunately, I'm going on my fifth minute now standing at the register without attention. Oh no. So you're typing this while you're standing there and you only waited five minutes to type this review? Uh-huh. There are two staff members in the lobby staring at me, but their not-my-job attitude is shining strong as one of them calls to the kitchen to ask someone to quote, get the cash. By this point, there are people in line behind me as well. Finally, someone comes out and I tell him I placed an order for pickup. Without even making eye contact, he points his finger to his side

and tells me that it's on a rack over there. Wow. So, wow, she just live blogged her being an idiot. Uh-huh. There's oh There's an order so also you were waiting for five minutes And you had an online order and you were staring at people and you didn't say excuse me I have an online. Uh-huh this I will stand here until someone comes up to me and initiates conversation For I have no social skills, but I will type a review while I'm standing here also apparently it's behind me Yeah, there's a rack. Also, send.

Yep, yep. There's a rack for online orders. She must have looked at it and then went, not for me, the special person. Good thing I can't read. He points his finger to his side and tells me that it's on a rack over there. You mean the information you wanted?

I've never been so insulted in all my life. And then he told me where my fucking food was! No, I'm not excited anymore about this place. I stood there for five minutes before the guy said, turn around, your food's over there. Bullshit! A lot of the reviews... That's a one-star review!

Yeah, yeah. I got there and waited and my food was ready. On the to-go rack where I should pick it up from. I wish it had- Where every goddamn restaurant has an online order is here. I wish it had ended with, I guess my problem solved and I could delete this. I've already typed it all out.

I've already gone this far. A lot of the reviews, a lot of the one-star reviews for this restaurant specifically are like, can you believe the rude customer service here? And I will point out that this is right next to the domain. And that, and I think it tells you. Yes, absolutely. The domain, if you don't know, is like a really upscale,

as much as it can be like outdoor ball town-esque. And if you go to the domain, it's fancy. But it's just, it just has a Nordstrom. It just has a Nordstrom feel. It's an outside mall. It's a mall that has, I think, an Hermes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it has this air of like, oh yeah, this is fancy.

All the bottom floors are shops and all of the rest of the floors, they're apartments. That's where people live. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Neat. And then it, oh, okay, cool. And then it's people going across the street. It's also a place where if you have to go to the domain for some unfortunate reason, you will not be able to park anywhere you want.

Getting in, getting in and out. Getting in, parking, leaving, being there, it all sucks. All of it sucks. It's fucking shitty. It's just choke point after choke point. And then people who complain like this Live there. Yeah, you have to be around them. You know what this I see this review in a new light actually even Laura's like They're not really mad at firehouse subs. No, they're mad at the domain. Oh, absolutely

They just had a horrible time at the domain. Yeah, they have to get in and out of possible They love the domain. They love it. Everyone loves the domain. It's a classy place for classy people, Jordan. Yep. Mm-hmm. All right, one more you review. This one's from Michael Jordan. Whoa! It is Michael J. Damn. Can only assume. COVID-19 related review. I just checked the health department website and yes stage five is still in effect The question then comes to mind Why is it two of the four employees including the manager are not wearing masks I? Realize the governor of the state said they don't have to he's a moron. Well, then why are you asking? If you know the answer. Hang on.

Let me just, hang on, hang on. The question comes to mind. Why? Followed by, I realized they don't have to. And there you have it. I don't, there you go. We're at stage five COVID. We must be alert and aware. I will be going to the firehouse and holding them accountable where I know the governor said you don't have to wear masks. I will be going to the firehouse and holding them accountable where I know the governor said you don't have to wear masks I will then question why aren't you wearing masks? And then you know, I'm writing a review

That I think I think Michael J is just a little weird that he's about to get fired for from someone who's about to give Him kovat. Oh, yeah, they're trying to give me kovat and they're gonna fire me. They're gonna How do you think the food was? He could tell hang on there. My was a kovat 19 related review. Yeah. gonna. How do you think the food was? He could taste it. Oh, hang on, nevermind, it was a COVID-19 related review. Right, yeah. Usually that's in a different section. Yeah, right, yeah.

It's on Yelp, you go into reviews and then you click a tab for COVID. I was gonna say, the review didn't start with, curious that they don't have a separate tab for COVID-19 related problems. Cure is starting it with curious. It begs the question. Makes one wonder, I know Google doesn't have to.

This is a thing that I've created in my own brain? Hmm, okay. The sheer pompousness. Yeah. Also to write a one-star review to begin with is like fucking nuts. That's crazy. I mean, I would write a one-star review for a place that was pumping shit in the middle of the restaurant They're getting five stars for me great hour of podcast content. Thank you do this all the time Please I will call ahead. I want

I want like reverse psychology five-star reviews I loved the hose of shit that was being pumped through the restaurant I couldn't get enough of the smell as I waited for my not a huge fan of firehouse subs except for this location They were doing the craziest thing and I loved it They got the balls to own the libs with some shit tubes Okay, if you know you know These boots are made for walking. I'm fit!

I'm fit! I'm fit. Playing the hits, huh? Dude, the I'm fit comment all the time still. Dude, why is there no- We did the I'm fit contest. Laura W. meets I'm fit guy. Why is there no cheese on this? Why is there double cheese on this?

He got Laura's cheese yeah, oh no no cheese Jordan. Oh, yeah double cheese. Yeah, also. It's weird. They shit on a sandwich From the tube yeah Just as an aside. I like a run review did it also. I guess there was a shit tube. Yeah. Just as an aside. I like a run review. Also, I guess there was a shit hose. Yeah. If we wrote a review, it should be that. I went in. Great. It was empty. Great service. They took my order right away. It was really fast. There's no confusion. Took a little bit, but I got what I ordered and I was out of there. Also, there was a shit hose. Cool period. But I got what I ordered now is out of there also. There was a shit hose Cool The thing is we've been joking for like an hour about the shit hose

We've been like it's I don't think we've been joking. Yeah, I think it's funny. What what I it's not a joke Do you like It's great What is going on I would need there Do you Don't know how closer and would have got to the door. Nope I want us I would have seen the hoes going in and like not even worth not worth the conversation Not even worth finding out because I, not even worth it. Not worth the conversation. Not even worth finding out

because I'm not gonna like it. I don't want to truly believe that they were pumping shit. I believe it. It's very hard. That's my headcanon. It's very hard. It's very hard to believe that it was something that was not shit.

In my alternate universe, it was a one sauce. Oh, dude They were taking it out There was a sign that said spice up your your sandwich and then there were like five Sauces and one of them was a one and they had x'd it out with a marker with like a sharp Yeah, and I went oh, dude. They x'd out the a one. They must be out and Jordan. I think it was you Yeah, you went not spicy. Oh shit. You're right. That's my see. Mm-hmm. They're kicking it out Oh, and then Nick spicy. And I went, oh shit, you're right. Not spicy. They're kicking it out. Oh, and then Nick explained how tangy is different

from spicy for a little while. I really am hard pressed to figure out what was in that pipe that was not shit. Yeah. How about don't think it was not shit, and the answer will become clear. I feel like if you remove that one little mental block, you're going, well, if it's not shit, what is it? Well, what if it is shit? Really? I think that answers your

question. I just can't believe that they were put. We could have just Michael J. I know Greg Abbott said you can brush it in the restaurant, but why are they curious? It raises the question. It was just like, I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it, but that's your ratings now. It's time for our ratings guys. What did you think of firehouse subs? captain's club Shiver me timbers Dude, I wouldn't swab the poop deck with this thing the whole place was the poop. I just call it the deck Just call the poop deck the firehouse subs the firehouse There the firehouse subs. Swab the firehouse subs.

There's firehouse subs everywhere! Where's the captain? He's below firehouse subs! Somebody firehouse subbed all over this place! Really firehouse subbed the bed last night. I was very hungry We were there for so long we just sat in the smell and Jordan remember how I said I was hungry earlier That's gone, and then we got back. I got hungry again. Thankfully. It was a 20 minute drive God yeah, and I don't think that did it any favors because it was quite soggy mm-hmm. It was a soggy sandwich the

And I don't think that did it any favors because it was quite soggy. Mm-hmm. It was a soggy sandwich the It was either Captain Sorensen's hot sauce or the new firehouse hero sauce Come this close to standing up this pretty good. I don't think it's a good idea. No, no, not with these chairs. Oh, man The sauce soggyed the bread and it didn't really help but also in the end it was just a very forgettable sandwich. It had a little bit of kick at first and then it was nothing. Like no flavor after that. And very sad bacon.

The bread is okay. I don't know. The pickle was disappointing. There don't know the pickle is disappointing There was a shit hose in the restaurant. I was just the cards are the deck is that Make your you go up or down Really, it's flipping a coin you be the judge. It's a minus five honestly I'm giving it like a 37. It was not good. I didn't like it. None of it was good 37 the calculator the percent yeah the calculators new on iPhone. It's confusing. It looks the same now

That now the things are staying on the screen. I updated 18 anyway um You have a calculator on this it was It wasn't that bad. It was inoffensive inoffensive to me right like it wasn't bad I would didn't go I don't like this it was just like I think that's more punishable than it being ah Like like I've had quiznos, and I'm like this fucking sucks. Yeah, this is no way. I hate this this was just like It's better than the shit smell Right like this shit didn't carry over to the sandwich. That's where the bar is. That's where the bar is, dude.

The hose was in the building, okay? The bacon was soggy. It was just very... Eh. Mm-hmm. The chicken had like decent texture. It wasn't like chewy or anything. But it was just very like, I'm eating a sandwich. I don't know.

I didn't... I also... I thought the pickle was fine, but I'm not comparing it to greater pickles right I do like a little pickle with my son not to sound like somebody goes with the domain But I just like when the food's good. Yeah, well that's domain talk that is domain Sorry, dude, I realized we went to someone's gotta be a domain go We went to Jew boy. We went to Carrabba's It's back to the regular show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry buddy. You eat the trash for five years. Wow It wasn't great. It was fine Many other sub places are better

I would almost argue subways better just in like a convenience sense like subway socks But like just not the sub way we went to last You also just kind of feel like you know where you're getting at subway I will say my hopes were higher for this place the first time I went like oh They're like oh made by firemen created by firemen. We like food. We're firemen. I'm like that's true. They like food They got there's you got personality behind Yes, you know lines up. They're using like the fireman's badge as like a promotion You know I mean like these guys save your life now. They'll save your lunch whoa, and I expected like oh, maybe it'll be pretty good

It's not um Is okay, I give it a 45 45 I think it's sub 50, but I didn't hate it as much definitely 41 it maybe got Three extra points for me for the shithouse. Yeah, 41 41 is the average score Yeah, it's just a really forgettable sandwich. Yeah, I don't think there's anything to it. Yeah, it's just sort of like I if I got that again I don't think I'd be upset. Here's my question. I wouldn't go out of my way Here's the question. All right, and the level of like the the place the restaurant and the sandwich. We're right at an hour Yeah, right on time

What would we have talked about if there was no shithouse? I don't know I really you know I mean you gotta wonder would we be like pulling would you be like just talking about aimless stuff? I think it would I think a lot of you stock that shit was the clumpy glue that held this episode together You're absolutely right, and I think that kind of signifies the like yes of it Yeah, if that shit right carried this podcast Yeah, I think we I think we'd be if we didn't fuck around with other things I think we'd be sitting about 38 minutes Insert Gracie

Yeah, sometimes sometimes you need a shit hose a shit nose to build an episode around. So it goes. You know I feel like we always get like we could never have anything to talk about. We could never have a problem we could get to the surplus under close and it's fine and everyone's happy and nothing was lost and everyone's sanity is intact. We can go to a great fun fair and oh and make it look shitty You go to a Denny's we hit the fun zone we get an octopus Yeah, watch watch right along get a real behind-the-scenes look at that fair talk a lot about the fair. It's pretty good 41 good stuff that I'm glad is now on

In came we said at the fair or leaving the fair And I think this is absolutely true and this is the first little taste of it Maybe on a Smaller scale but that fair is our new road trip Oh The video you got yeah, I think we filmed the content that we're talking about that fair for so goddamn long Yeah, and like the events that occurred granted. It was only like two hours compared to the road trip being days And there's a lot of footage that did not make it into that video

Like that fair was so valuable even beyond the video the expertly edited video way to go Richard Here's the monkey transition what the fuck Hey, whatever you feel, it's art. Yep. And you got a cool poncho out of it. I got a great poncho. And more importantly, Ray's jealous.

Ray didn't. Yeah, dude. Yeah, he did not get it. He's jealous, baby. I like that he was more jealous than mad. That was satisfying. Oh yeah. And he just kept saying,

I'm fucking jealous, man. I'm fucking jealous. I bought it. What the fuck, dude? He said it with a big smile on his face every time. He's just like, I said I was gonna think on it. I was like, are you too slow? Yep.

So that's our review of Firehouse Subs. You go to store.100percenteat.com for merch. We're gonna have- New merch incoming. New merch incoming early October. We're gonna have some new designs, some different cut. We're gonna do a women's crop top of the, so the 100% EAT logo, I think. And then we're going to have a new rat hat.

And then we're gonna have, I mean, we can talk about it now. We're going to have a sauce monkey, intimidator NASCAR style shirt that we got. And we will also rest in peace, RIP Cinnamon. Cinnamon lives. Cinnamon lives. Cinnamon forever.

Gracie approved. Gracie approved and also when the fuck is this coming out? When can I have this shirt? Is this real? Is this real? Yeah, yeah. Hey, just checking. Doesn't speak to us at all about anything. Hey, just checking in

What's the status on that shirt? When do I get that shirt? What is that fucking shirt coming out? Yeah, how's my shirt? Yeah, so we'll have that a lot of great stuff and just so you know and It is like a you know, cinnamon. I don't say cinnamon inspired shirt. It's a cinnamon shirt Yeah, Gracie approved it just so you know all proceeds will go directly to us. Yes, absolutely which is important Just like every other shirt. But we, a lot of this stuff is... And Puerto Rico. They'll get a taste. Not in Miami!

They'll get a taste. A lot of this is fan art stuff, and we're paying the artists for these cool designs. They're really good stuff, so thank you very much. In early October is when we're going to have these new designs at store.100%eat.com. If we ever get a desk, we'll do a live stream about it. That's what I want to do. I want to do a live stream. Why don't we have a fucking desk yet? Because we haven't, uh, we tried. Yeah, I forget what happened. I want to say we went to the fair instead.

I don't really remember. They're kind of blurred together. Come on, dude. We'll get a desk soon. Put it on the calendar. Michael Jordan podcast is weekly this Friday. Patreon.com slash 100% eat. Whatever. What are we talking about? You're not going to want to miss this Friday's episode. Why? Last Friday we ate the Oreo Coke cookies.

Yeah, it sucked. Yeah. I wonder what this Friday could be. And you can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter and on Instagram. Stay up to date with everything. Send stuff to the P.O. Box for 100% Treat! P.O. Box 14-32-41 Austin, Texas 78714. That's P.O. Box 14-3241 Austin, Texas 78714. We're gonna snort Oreo flavored cocaine. Whoa! We could do opposite. Dude, it tastes like Oreos.

Woo! We have 100% fan? We do. Wow! Hey, if you sign up to be a 100% fan You can get your shout out read in an episode and then we tell you that we like you because we do. So This is a good one. This is from Devin Esslinger Devin says my girlfriend was out of town when I got this, so I'm still saving money by signing up. This is a shout out to her for hating my peanut butter and jelly ravioli and refusing to eat my handmade spaghetti with PB&J sauce. I still love you. What? What did you? Hang on, hang on. I'm gonna stop before whatever you say. You just said you love this, you like this person, and you love them. I love you.

So, just remember that. Go ahead. We need to do another food court. These freaks are getting out of control. Oh, we do, why haven't we done that? Yeah, he's not getting everything set up. He's not getting everything set up. We don't have desks.

We can't do food courts. Come on, man. Jesus Christ. That's what I'm saying. What is peanut butter and jelly ravioli? Only one way to find out. Oh my God. Can I just say the first thought that popped in my head was like,

my girlfriend hates my pee. Yeah, oh, 100%, yeah. And I finished the sentence. Uh-oh. Yep, all right. Jordan, take a sip. They sell filler. You could do it.

Oh, make it bigger. It makes it wider. Oh, cool. Can they do that for the bacon at the Firehouse Subs? Get them. Rate, subscribe, tell a friend about the show where we eat the food and rate the food. Bye. Stayoppy. Bye!

Stay soggy. ["The Daily Show Theme"]