100% Eat - Fazoli's Parmesan-Crusted Alfredo with Meatballs

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Fazoli's Parmesan-Crusted Alfredo with Meatballs so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about never knowing Fazoli's existed, ...Experienced Eaters Club, an offering, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash. Get $5 off and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code FACEJAM! Get notified about the Spice Rat shirt's reprint: http://bit.ly/FJSpiceRat. Check out the Snack Attack 2: The Snackening stream at http://bit.ly/Snackening. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably, doubably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, also known as Mikey J. Alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers, also known as J-Dog. J-Dog, how are you? I'm good now that I have a new nickname. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Yeah. That's not what I would have picked. Well, you don't pick your own nickname, except Mikey J. I did pick that. I made that myself. I'm trying to set us off on the right foot here because we've had a lot of problems today, mostly stemming from Eric. Actually, exclusively stemming from Eric.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Thank you. He's in a bit of a sour mood. Thanks, guys. Very cool. I have to explain why you're so sour. You don't have to explain anything. It would have been fine. I'm a professional.
Starting point is 00:00:52 It would have been okay. No, you're already sour. No. See, listen to him. This is because you pointed out that there were a bunch of problems, and we haven't even done anything, and no one would even know. But you're like, there's problems. Yeah, people want to know they
Starting point is 00:01:05 want to they want to peek behind the curtain though i feel like i'm real with the jammers all right fine and i want to let them know today's a little bit of a struggle there was a cable connector that i didn't have so we're we're kind of making it work by you're managing yeah we're we're recording scraping by in other situations and it's just it's a it's a headache but it's working and then i don't know it like yeah listen we're in a walmart parking just it's a it's a headache, but it's working and then I don't know it like yeah We're in a Walmart parking lot. It's a whole thing. Huh again. I was gonna say we're here in like what what even fucker city Are we in Lake this is still online? Yes, the law it's like borderline some other city that nobody has real north or west And you gotta you gotta call bullshit. Like, this isn't Austin.
Starting point is 00:01:45 This is crazy. Yeah. When I saw this on the map. Yeah, fuck you. This isn't Austin. Nice try. Nice try, suckers. But why we're here and what we're doing here today is we're reviewing the fan favorite fazoli's parmesan crusted alfredo bake with
Starting point is 00:02:10 meatballs fazoli's i i guess that's how to pronounce it because i didn't know it was a word before last week yeah nick is giving a thumbs up big thumbs like it was like a very big thumbs up oh wow super big okay fazoli that's it fazoli you're putting you're putting too much like italian into a thing that is certainly not clearly not that it's fazoli yeah hey fazoli's you know when people say just let it trickle out when people say olive garden is fake Italian, you haven't seen Fizzoli. It's true. I would go as far to say that Fizzoli might be fake Olive Garden. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I don't know what it is. Popped up on our radar at a limited item. We're all about that. And I said, what the hell is Fazoli's? I didn't know. You didn't know. Eric didn't think there was one in Austin, and borderline
Starting point is 00:03:11 there isn't. It's far as hell. It's close. Who comes screaming in, big old Fazoli fan? Nick. He's like, oh, I love Fazoli's. I used to go there all the time. And then he starts just laying it down. Like, he's a Fazoli's expert. Like we were talking about a packet of sauce.
Starting point is 00:03:29 That's it. I mean, I said it and there was a long pause. No one said anything else. I really thought Eric was going to chime in there. And I just was staring at Jordan. No, it seemed like you were painting a picture and then decided, eh, this picture's done. I painted the picture and then the picture was painted.
Starting point is 00:03:43 And then I turned around and everyone was just kind of looking somewhere else. And I went, there's the picture, guys. It's done. I painted the picture, and then the picture was painted, and then I turned around, and everyone was just kind of looking somewhere else, and I went, there's the picture, guys. It's done. And you said, oh, I thought you were painting two pictures. My favorite Nick story with Fazoli's was how he said it was his go-to date spot. Yeah, that's what he said. Go-to. Those are the words he used.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Yeah. I don't know if it was first dates Or Or what but Seems like a first date kind of place Yeah I like that It seems like a no date kind of place
Starting point is 00:04:14 Listen People gotta eat Okay I mean Yeah but look around this parking lot They don't have to eat at Fazoli They really don't There's so
Starting point is 00:04:23 There's like a Chick-fil-A, I think. There's a Whataburger. I'm not getting it. I'm just saying. It's like. Did you come to this fazoli's, Nick? That's what I was going to ask. Oh, there's another one?
Starting point is 00:04:36 There must be one. I mean, I always. And it's closed now? I think it's in San Marcos. Oh, that's. Oh, God. Yeah. Was that the one you went?
Starting point is 00:04:43 He's pointing at me very aggressively. Yeah. Those are his old stomping grounds. So if you want to find a piece of Nick, go to the Fazoli's in San Marcos. I like... Maybe you'll find something. I like that he described it as a date spot and then he said, yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:59 The dates were like 50-50 on it and it's like, who was 50 in the yes camp on this place? Yeah. He said, thanks for bringing me to Fazoli's. I really like how it's like a fast food restaurant, but Italian. This is the past experience segment because we have none. I never even heard of it before.
Starting point is 00:05:20 We're just mining Nick here. We should just talk about Nick's experience, but obviously for him. He said it was 50-50, and I said, was that because of the food or the dates? And he went, little from column A, little from column B. Most interesting to me is that he took his wife here on a date. Yep. Before, back when they were dating. She passed the test.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Yeah. That's how he knew. Yeah, they call it Fazoli's Gambit. That sounds like a weapon in destiny. If you make it through. Yeah. There's something to be said. You're destined for true love. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a Fazoli and Isles joke. Yeah. There's something to be said. You're destined for true love. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a fazoli and aisles joke.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yeah. Jesus Christ. So, yeah, we'll give you time, I guess. Let us know when you lock that one down. I heard fazolis, right? I read fazolis. I saw it was a pasta dish, and my thought was Italian restaurant. And I don't know of an Italian restaurant that you don't
Starting point is 00:06:25 sit down in you know I'd say as close as you can get is you know you get like pizza places or borderline sub shops they might do a little bit of Italian like spaghetti deli or something like that right but I looked at the first picture
Starting point is 00:06:42 and it blew me away because the inside looked like it was just the counter and then it had a menu board like it was a McDonald's. Yep. Like numbers and everything. And I was like, what the fuck? My first impression was that it looked like a McDonald's fuck to Jason's Deli. Yeah. Like it kind of had that vibe to it.
Starting point is 00:06:59 And so then even with that, you know, Jordan, you assume there'd be some sort of, you know, you pick your food and you go down a line type deal. Yeah. There's a drive-thru in this place. There's a fucking drive-thru. Drive-thru Italian. Like fast food Italian. It's crazy. I was thinking about this for days.
Starting point is 00:07:18 How did we not know this place existed? It's a really bonkers restaurant. We'll get to a lot of this stuff in the facts section where we have a lot of facts about fazoli's where you guys will definitely learn a lot um but one fact that i did not include there's one fact that i did not include that i can i feel like i can tell you about now is that uh a few years ago in baltimore they tried to open the italian equivalent of chipotle where you go down what you're describing, where you go down a line and build your own pasta dish and everything. It lasted one year and went under. Damn.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah. This was a Fazoli's idea? Yes, it was. Did anybody, was there, like, people die or they just didn't do well? No, I think that, and again, we'll get to some of these things in the facts section about what is Fazoli's and their thinking. I'm just saying, generally speaking, when we're coming to Face Jam facts, things don't pan out well because people die. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:08:12 There's some sort of murder or poisoning or, you know, contamination involved. Melted dick. Balls were melted. I was getting there. Bathrooms. Wild. Just a wild, crazy time.
Starting point is 00:08:28 It's a weird restaurant that I had to go walk inside of, and the inside just looks like a Carl's Jr., and then they go, here's a sack of food, and it's all pasta and bread. I'm looking at the restaurant now because we're in the parking lot. I didn't eat the whole thing, and I'm full. Neither did I, dude. It's filling. It's pasta for sure thing and I'm full. Neither did I, dude. It's filling.
Starting point is 00:08:45 It's pasta for sure. But I'm looking at the restaurant now and I'm like thinking it used to be a Carl's Jr. It looks like it. It fucking looks like it. It's also painted super weird. It's a very weird color. It almost, they went for like, they're like, let's do
Starting point is 00:09:03 green, but not olive garden green. Let's do lime green on the canopy. And it's just ugly as shit. Yeah. I, when we saw how far away it was, we were like, okay, well, if we go there, we definitely have to record in the parking lot. And then as a joke, because Nick had known about the restaurant, I was like, Nick, what's the landscape? What are we talking about here? And he's like, oh, it's right next to a Walmart.
Starting point is 00:09:29 There's plenty of space. I was like, holy shit. This guy knows. This guy knows. And this isn't even the one he came to. No, yeah. Well, he's a northerner now, so I think he's probably hit this place up. When was the last time you've been here, Nick?
Starting point is 00:09:47 This one. A year ago. What? A year ago? Holy shit. It's too far for me to translate. I'm glad Eric translated that. Yeah, I couldn't hear him.
Starting point is 00:09:57 That blows my mind. And then my next question is like, why was he keeping it from us? Yeah. I had to. Not Eric. I found this on Chew Boom. I didn't think that there was one in Austin.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I looked up Fazoli's and I went, that's not Austin. He didn't chase the weed. We've talked about this before. No. That's not Austin. I looked at it. No. It is, though.
Starting point is 00:10:19 That's not Austin. This is Austin. On paper, it's Austin. If Austin could have Gaddy's pizza, they could have a Fazoli's or two. I think the face jam threshold is 30 minutes. I agree. Unless it's like a real banger 40, that'd be insanity. I mean, I'll go up to Cedar Park for a special Zaxby's thing.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Is there a Zaxby's in Cedar Park? Yeah. Oh, we should do Zaxby's. It's the closest one. Oh, wow. Have you been sleeping on them, Eric? Have there been deals coming out? Yeah, I didn't think there was one in Austin. God damn it. You gotta check a map, man. Yeah, let me just tell you. Oh, a map.
Starting point is 00:10:53 I'll find a list of all the restaurants in the metropolitan area for you. Check the glove box. There's probably one in there. It's unfolded. Oh. I hadn't thought about it. Like a Thomas Brothers. Yeah, yeah. Start rooting around looking for Zaxby's.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Yeah, I'm pretty sure Zaxby's is on the map. The fold-up map. Well, that's cool. We haven't done Zaxby's yet. We've gotten this long into this show without repeating a restaurant. We've got to keep going. We've got to do Zaxby's. It's impressive.
Starting point is 00:11:22 We're almost at a year. Yep. Yeah. That's axes. We're almost at a year. Yep. Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. Like, this is... Is this 25, Nick? 24, 25?
Starting point is 00:11:32 What is this? This is 25, I think. So we're just about at our... Oh, shit. We're just about at our GM-iversary. Damn. Wow. That was cool.
Starting point is 00:11:39 You like that, you said? I just came up with that. I like that. You like that? Yeah. Thank you. All right. You're making up for things a little bit now.
Starting point is 00:11:45 That's very cute. I see you poking your head. I don't know if you're pointing to producer hat. I think he's wearing his producer hat. I can't tell. There's weird lighting today in the parking lot. Like, everyone has their silhouette shadows. Yeah, Tazoli's is known for the lighting being weird.
Starting point is 00:12:00 It's romantic. I like how I can't see you guys Nick didn't take his date inside cause you know there's nowhere to sit they just went and picked it up and sat in his car I got it catered do you think a fazoli's inside
Starting point is 00:12:16 is like when we went into the jack in the box and it was like a woman painting her nails and like a bunch of people not eating just hanging out maybe that's like a cool hangout spot it's weird probably and like a bunch of people not eating, just hanging out. Maybe that's like a cool hangout spot. It's weird. Probably. I mean, where the last place I would ever think to look for anybody is inside of Fazoli's restaurant.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Mostly because I didn't know it existed. If you're on the run, just go to Fazoli's. Just hide out. It's just crazy. I'm just looking at the window and it just says pasta in the window. Just an old neon sign. Also, there's a sign that says five under five dollars. A lot of their food is under five bucks.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Pizza and pasta. I think that's a calzone. It's unheard of. Also, they're hiring a lot of people. That's good to know. A lot of people driving through the drive-thru of the Fazoli's. Again, a lot of people driving through the drive-thru of the Fazoli's. Again, a lot of options in this actual, just this one parking lot.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yeah. You have like a handful of other places that you could eat. Water burgers over there. Just in this parking, like you go across the street, there's even more, right? There's probably a McDonald's in that Walmart. I would think so. And you're going, you know what? Gotta get this pasta, but don't want to leave my car.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Here's the thing, though, right? And I'll say, it's like Panda Express, though. They got the market. Where the fuck else are you going to drive through and not get out of your car and get pasta? Yeah. No, you're right. That's why I wanted to come here. Jordan and I, we both used the word intrigued. It was quite the intriguing proposition.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Definitely. I didn't know there was such a thing. Okay, let's, now that we've explained Nick's history. Let's get fact. Let's get some facts. You're going to learn a lot. Established in 1988. Whoa, little baby.
Starting point is 00:14:01 What about that long? Fazoli's, like Olive Garden, was created with the intention of always becoming a chain. There are now over 200 Fazoli's in 26 states. I don't know how we missed this. This is crazy. That sounds like too many. It does sound like too many. It's an impossible number to not know about.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Are there any in California? No. They're mostly in the south and kind of the east. Are there any in California? No. They're mostly in the south and kind of like the east. We have a friend named Andrew, you don't know him, who is from Mississippi, and I asked him about Fazoli's, and he went, oh, yeah, their mascot's like a tomato. And I said, oh, yeah. I don't know this guy, but that sounds like something he'd say.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Is this guy from Mississippi? He came in and he took the part you needed for the audio. Yeah. He stole it. Yeah. Didn't he say it was Andrew? Yeah. He stole it.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Andrew took my cable or whatever. Eric threw a couple of people under the bus. He threw his fiance. Andrew was one of them. Andrew, I think his dog as well. The dog. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Yeah. The dog he physically threw under the bus. I definitely threw Michael's shirt gremlins under the bus just in case. If they're shrinking shirts, I don't put it past them. They're making them a little bigger, which is weird. Are they? I think they feel bad. How are they doing that?
Starting point is 00:15:13 They're using cold water. Oh. It reverses the process. You got to wine dry them. So there you go. So far you've learned one fact about Fazoli's. One fact. On to fact number two.
Starting point is 00:15:20 So there you go. So far you've learned one fact about Fazoli's. One fact. On to fact number two. Fazoli's is not an Italian restaurant, but an Italian-American restaurant offering fare like the Meatball Da Vinci and the Primo Italiano, which is weird because the restaurant was started in Kentucky by a company that made Long John Silver. Ugh. Meatball Da Vinci.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Everything about this is so fucked up. What is that even? What's clever about that? Why? Michael, that's exactly why I included it, because I went, maybe they'll get the joke. What's the joke? I think they're kind of just like, hey, Italian words.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Put them next to some other words. He's just saying things. Beep all Da Vinci.. Meatball Da Vinci. Meatball Da Vinci. It was started by the people who started Long John Silver because they're like, well, we'll just do an Italian thing.
Starting point is 00:16:16 And it's like, that's gross. That's two gross restaurants. Can we make a pledge to never eat at Long John Silver for this show? I mean, it's up to you guys. If you guys say no, you can always veto a choice. I feel like that goes against the nature of this show,
Starting point is 00:16:32 but I 100% will pledge to never eat there. Unless we're really desperate. Michael, you're playing devil's advocate, but also you absolutely agree with Jordan. He's a really bad devil's advocate, but also you absolutely agree with Jordan. Yes, correct.
Starting point is 00:16:46 He's a really bad devil's advocate. I just want people to know on paper what he's saying is wrong, but I completely agree with him. I don't want to go there. I don't want to go there or eat anything from that hellhole. And I think I have the same conflicting issue where I don't want to put ourselves in this box, but also I would prefer to never eat there again in my life. Right. And that's fine. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:17:09 We've always got fazoles. Fact number three. Hold on. I just want to say that all of, all of this stuff, it makes so much sense now knowing that it's from a Kentucky like based company. And,
Starting point is 00:17:21 and that it's, it's qualified as Italian American. Like they go out of their way to be like, we're not an Italian place. We're an Italian American place. It reminds me of that episode of The Sopranos where they go to Italy and they're so excited to try the food, but they don't like any of the food.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Because it's all seafood. Yeah, they're like, hey, you got any meatball da Vinci? Yeah. Well, you sounded just like Tony. Hey, gabagool. I thought James Gandolfini just rose from the grave. He's back, and he wants the meatball da Vinci.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I want the meatball da Vinci. Hey, you got any big Italian refrigerators I could leave open? Okay. Go ahead. refrigerators i could leave open um okay go ahead it hasn't always been smooth sailing for vizzoli's after a downturn in sales they realized people were leaving because the quality of the food was terrible so they introduced new items and put in drive-thrus which i guess trick people into thinking that it is okay, that it is not good. Okay. I was going through a roller coaster as you were reading this because I was like, it used to be worse? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:18:32 We really missed out. Hey. They didn't solve the problem with the quality. It used to be worse. One of the franchisees, that's why it says the quality of the food is terrible. That's a direct quote from one of the franchisees that's why it says the quality of the food is terrible that's a direct quote from one of the franchisees he said for a long time people would come once and then never come back because the quality of the food the quality of the food was so bad i mean i don't
Starting point is 00:18:57 want to i don't want to like i i don't want to say for sure but i know what you're gonna say i think call it done. I think I might never eat here again myself. I mean, I will never eat here again, but that it's just too far and weird. If I was in Fazoli stomping grounds, I could wander my way through. I'm not. That's a shame to say that. That is fine.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Exactly. Michael, what you just said is exactly how Nick described it to me before everyone got here i'm like i would never come here and eat he's like right but if there was nothing else and you were like within like a mile you'd be like whatever there's fazoli's i guess i'll just eat here i'm like i guess so no i would i would go to chick-fil-a first i would go to water burger first i would even maybe entertain Arby's. Wow. I think I'd be like ah, Fazoli's. The odds are too, someone would
Starting point is 00:19:52 be here that didn't know what the hell it was and I'd say, you gotta try the pasta and the pizza. You gotta get the meatball da Vinci. The meatball da Vinci. Get it? I just like theci. Get it? I just like that they... No, me neither.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Oh, man. When you're dead, people can do anything with your name. All they had to do was wait. Yep, smart. Some fucker's like, oh, Da Vinci's been dead forever. What's he going to do about it? Nothing. You know what I mean? smart some some fuckers like oh da vinci's been dead forever what's he gonna do about it nothing you know what i mean like can you imagine if they tried to call it like the michael jordan
Starting point is 00:20:29 meatballs they'd be impossible i don't know why i just picked michael jordan off the top of my head not like it's anything to do with like you know potentially being sued or anything but fuck it throw da vinci in there oh, have you tried the Jesus Christ breadsticks? They're amazing. They're a little cross-shaped. Yeah, Jesus, people didn't know this. He liked cheese on all of his food. All right, next fact.
Starting point is 00:20:56 If you're an experienced eater, you can join Fazoli's Club 62, a senior citizen discount program that allows you to eat spaghetti with a salad on Wednesdays. This is great news for our audience. We're proud to be able to help them find a family friendly restaurant to bring their grandchildren for supper. Not dinner. Supper.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Very good. Supper. Yeah. That's a good call. Eric, that was nice. You were thinking of the people there. That was one where we had to take a break from the joking, and we need to just let our audience know.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Really help the jammers. Listen, your grandson wants a slice of pizza, and he can have that. But if you bring him on a Wednesday with Club 62, you get a spaghetti and a salad, and what else could you want? That's perfect. Is it called Club 62 because you need to be 62 to join? Yes, that is exactly what it is. Before I got to the senior citizen
Starting point is 00:21:49 part, I was intrigued, and then I was no longer intrigued. Mostly because he put experienced eater in quotation marks. That is what they call it. They say that Club 62 is an experienced eater program. I think that just means you're still in the game.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Yeah. If you're not dead yet, you've been eating this long. You made it this far. I'm only 29 and it might be brash of me to say this, but I feel like I'm a pretty experienced eater myself. I don't know. I think it's not
Starting point is 00:22:19 your rookie year and I understand that, but it's also like you haven't been in the league long enough to get out of arbitration. You're stuck with your entry-level team. So, sorry, man. I'm still on my rookie deal. Get another 30 years on you.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Yeah, I think if you're an experienced eater at the age of 62, they're going to go in there and ask you, like, you ever eat mud? And you'll be like, mud? For five years I ate mud. And they'll be like, all right, that's experience. ask you like you ever eat mud mud for five years I ate mud like all right that's experience right there the final fact for a few years fazoli's had the
Starting point is 00:22:56 sweetheart deal oh I'm looking at Nick offered spaghetti for a year if you got engaged inside fazoli's on Valentine's Day I could not find any evidence that anyone has done this but if you got engaged inside Fazoli's on Valentine's Day. I could not find any evidence that anyone has done this, but if you have, please keep that information to yourself because that's so pathetic it should embarrass you to your
Starting point is 00:23:14 core. Well, Nick, he looks embarrassed. He's shaking his head no. See, the thing is, he fucked up. He did it, but it wasn't Valentine's Day. Oh, no. He missed it. It's a real it's a real two-fold it's a two-pronged thing and i was like oh yeah anyone could do that yeah yeah oh no sir it's june 2nd so we're gonna have to ask you to leave
Starting point is 00:23:36 where's my spaghetti could you imagine that that is the thing that entices you spaghetti for a year for a year that's not bad dude i'll give you i'll give you 100 and that will feed you spaghetti for a year yeah spaghetti is like a dollar 10 a pound and a pound of spaghetti is a lot of fucking spaghetti it might even be 2 pounds dude spaghetti is fucking cheap and then when you make it you go I don't know I'm pretty hungry let me throw more in there
Starting point is 00:24:15 and then you come back and you go where the fuck did all the spaghetti come from these gremlins who are tightening my shirts have put too much spaghetti in the pot the water gremlins made my spaghetti big first they looked small and they didn't fill who are tightening my shirts have put too much spaghetti in the pot. The water gremlins made my spaghetti big. Yeah. First they looked small and they didn't fill the pot up
Starting point is 00:24:28 and now the pot's overflowing with it. I thought, what am I going to eat? A couple of sticks? Throw some more in. And then somebody replaced my sticks with pasta. Yeah. It's thick, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Spaghetti? So what did you guys, you guys learn a lot about fizzolis? I learned some stuff, yeah. I mean, more than I knew, which was zero. Right. So you would say that this was a fact section where you got good facts, where you
Starting point is 00:24:54 learned about Fazoli's. You could say that. I'll bend to that. You know more about Fazoli's than you did at the beginning. This is the part where Eric says I made all this up. I didn't make any of this up. These are all Fazoli's than you did at the beginning. This is the part where Eric says I made all this up. I didn't make any of this up. These are all Fazoli's facts. I feel like you made some of it up. Fax-Zoli's.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Should have called it that. Damn it. You should have called it that, but then again, he should have put the right sponsor in the copy as well. Alright, alright. Should have brought the cable too, but here we are. I know. I mean, I already mentioned the cable. You didn't have to go back there. I know you didn't bring it.
Starting point is 00:25:26 You said Andrew took it. Eric, you're crushing it lately. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. And then with the fact section done, we move on to spit and silly. I don't know, dude. I felt like we spat a lot. This just-
Starting point is 00:25:43 I like that most of our spits are, uh, Fazoli's based, which I think is pretty cool. Right. We're doing really well. This episode. Sometimes we hit,
Starting point is 00:25:51 we hit the episode where I think we're on track and I go, man, we're only like 25, 30 minutes in and we're doing it. And then the episode ends. It's an hour and 10 minutes. Right. I was like,
Starting point is 00:26:00 how did that happen? What happened? This is going to be the one. Yeah. I'll tell, I'll tell you exactly what happens You guys start including segments That aren't on the format sheet That have no business being in He's talking about the van
Starting point is 00:26:14 Are you talking about the van segment? Alright let's move on to talking about vans Because this is going to be a quick one It's going to be a quick one So as some of you may or may not know And if you listen to this podcast you should know because we talked about it. We did a Snack Attack 2, the live stream with video and everything that's available now. You can watch that now.
Starting point is 00:26:34 It's out there. It's in the world. You know, maybe Nick will link it. I don't know. Do we do links? Who knows? He's shrugging. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:41 He doesn't know. Just Google Snack Attack 2, the snackening, and it'll probably come up. I don't know. He doesn't know. Just Google snack attack 2, the snackening, and it'll probably come up. Or it won't. Anyway, we thought that would be the big reveal for the van, and he didn't do it. We didn't get the van. I revealed vans.
Starting point is 00:26:53 There were vans. That was nice. There were vans. Some fan vans. Fan vans. And I think the reality of the situation is we did the snack attack. It was a nice, nice like regrouping. We got to see each other in person.
Starting point is 00:27:07 We got some little vans. Eric's just not going to get us a van and we need to move on. Yeah, I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that we lost. We lost. And as we know, you can lose, but you can also win if you just stop bringing it up.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Right, right. That sounds like something a winner would say. Yeah, so that's what we're going to do. We're just coming to terms with the fact that Eric hates us and never really wanted us to be happy. Remember when I showed you all the vans? Remember during Stack Attack? Yeah, he faked being mad,
Starting point is 00:27:41 and then he brought in a fleet of vans. A fleet! It was a literal fleet. I think there was three vans. Maybe four. I'm looking at this Fazoli's catering van that's parked in the parking lot. I'm just thinking, Fazoli's has a van. I'll tell you two things.
Starting point is 00:27:58 One, this drive-thru has not stopped. It really hasn't. People are tearing through this Fazoli's. Two, that fazoli's van that is a fucking fbi van from the soprano when you see a van like that yeah that's got a big fucking tomato on it and they go fazoli's that's not real what is that it does indeed look like a fake company there's a bunch of fucking agents in that van listening to something. Maybe this podcast. Maybe they just wanted to get an early copy. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Hi, if you're listening. Hi, Agent Johnson. That's all I'm saying. It's suspicious. And that's that. He didn't get the van. We win. I'm sorry. What? I agree with Michael. I'm sorry. Are you guys implying that I lost somehow?
Starting point is 00:28:43 I'm just saying. Someone lost, and it wasn't us. Even though we didn't get what we wanted. You figure it out. It could be the audience. Who's to say? Crunch the numbers, nerd. See, we were on track, and then you guys talked about Vans.
Starting point is 00:29:01 No, we're still on track. Well, no, what we did was talk about how good we're doing, which is, I like kind of like stopping in the middle of the episode and being like, how do you think the episode's going? Really well. I think it's going great. People should do that in TV shows and movies more often. I think the scene's going really well. Are you enjoying this episode so far? I am.
Starting point is 00:29:17 It's not over. How do you like it so far? Yeah. All right, well, buckle up. Let me know by tweeting at Eric Badour. Nope. Nope. You can maybe tag face jam pod as well that was the what do you mean that was the intro for the ad oh we have those now well we've had them no i mean we have i mean yeah nick does a little thing he does you listen to the show no yeah he yeah mean, yeah, Nick does a little thing. He does. Do you listen to the show?
Starting point is 00:29:45 No, yeah, he does a little thing. Yeah, well, I was just trying to give him a break. Like, maybe he'll use that. Oh, I see. Interesting. He doesn't have to, you know, save him probably like an hour of work. But when I do the theme song, everyone gets mad. Right, because I'm not copying something poorly.
Starting point is 00:30:01 I'm just, that was an original piece. What do you mean? What do you think I was doing? I'll be honest, Jordan. I don't remember. Do I read this next part or do you? I read the food, right? How does a show work?
Starting point is 00:30:18 You don't remember? You read the facts. I read the foods. This is the Jordan section. You read all the food. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's why I asked. I didn the foods. This is the Jordan section. You read all the food. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:25 That's why I asked. I didn't want to step on toes. I can only imagine a company like Fazoli's and what their press department is like. Yep. Because we've kind of run the gambit. The Fazoli's gambit. The Fazoli's gambit on these press releases. And they go from big conglomerates to smaller restaurants.
Starting point is 00:30:49 And they're all pretty ridiculous. So let's see what we got here. So this is the description for, I don't know why it says Fusoli's Fusoli's Parmesan Crusted Alfredo Baked with Meatballs, but I'm reading those words. That's all over the place. It's gamele pasta topped with Alfredo sauce, three Italian meatballs, and baked with mozzarella cheese and Parmesan panko breadcrumbs.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Fair enough. That's an apt description. I wouldn't say the Alfredo sauce was on top of what I ate, but... It wasn't. Yeah, you're right. It was very much... It was in there.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Press material. Fazzoli stays on top. Oh, brother. A bold claim. I'm sad for them already. Fazzoli stays on top by serving premium Italian dishes at the best value. One of those things is true. Also, aren't they American Italian dishes?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yep. They didn't specify that. Yep. Italian dishes at the best value, said Director of Culinary Innovation, Rick Petrelia. Mama Mia. He sounds Italian. Mama Mia, indeed.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I like that they have a Director of Culinary Innovation. They're like one of the big dogs. Each of our new Parmesan baked offerings are perfect for those looking to find an indulgent new comfort food that's also affordable. Plus, with our Parmesan crusted Alfredo dish featured on our five under $5 menu, there is truly nowhere else to get such a craveable meal
Starting point is 00:32:23 at this exceptional value. Truly, there is truly nowhere else to get such a craveable meal at this exceptional value. Truly. There is truly nowhere else. Every sentence, every sentence is the same thing. Every sentence said the same thing. Every sentence reminds you that this is cheap food. This is cheap food for you to eat cheaply. But it's a lot of cheap food.
Starting point is 00:32:44 It is. Food, food, food, best value. Food, food, food best value. Food, food, food affordable. Food, food, food $5. Food, food, food exceptional value. It's true. What the fuck? Calm down. Calm down. They keep saying the word
Starting point is 00:32:59 like Parmesan baked offerings. Parmesan Alfredo dish. It's weird when restaurants describe food as offerings. What does that mean? It's food. It's what they're offering to us, the customer. It's a very capitalist way of looking at it. It's just bizarre.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I'm a consumer. I'm a goddamn customer. I'm a paying customer. I'm a big man with a big appetite. Oh. And there's only one place that I like to eat under $5. And it's Fazoli's. Don't look around, by the way.
Starting point is 00:33:33 If you get to Fazoli's, don't look around at all the other restaurants. Find the Fazoli's and hone in. I'm a big man and I wear blinders on the sides of my eyes like a horse. Hook me up to the pasta trough and give me 12 breadsticks, and I don't want a side of salad. I want a side of pizza. Yeah. You can walk into Fasoli's with a 20 and say, load up the trough.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Because Piggy's eating tonight. And then alarms go off, and they're like, we got a big spender. Uh-oh. This guy brought a 20 Quick aside this is like this is like the first parking lot recording where it's sunny and not raining Oh, it's like yeah, but then but then you're complaining about like the shadows So yeah, that's true was but there are a lot of monarch butterflies flying around do they like this? I think they're migrating away from fizzle leaves But there are a lot of monarch butterflies flying around. Do they like fazollis?
Starting point is 00:34:26 I don't know. I think they're migrating away from fazollis. They're here. There's something to be said. They all went to Chick-fil-A. They stopped at Chick-fil-A on their way down south. Oh, man. Anyway, it's just a nice day.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Next section. How's the parking lot? Having fun? It's pretty good. I don't know. I like the weather,? Having fun? It's pretty good. I don't know. I like the weather, but there's some weird shading going on. Should we mention the shade again? It's hard to see Eric.
Starting point is 00:34:54 I'm here. Hello. There he is. Uh-oh. Hi. I see the sheen in his sunglasses. You can't see me because I'm small. I'm so small. Yeah, you're small.
Starting point is 00:35:02 You're a small little guy. I'm little. I'm so small. You're a small little guy. I'm little. I'm so small. You're a small little guy. Let me scoop you up. You look like you could eat $5 worth of fazoles. Eric, how much was, like, per meal? Like, what was the cost? I think it was around $9, roughly.
Starting point is 00:35:23 We blew that $5 out of the watch. You went in there, and you're saying you dropped, like, $9, roughly. We blew that five out of the water. You went in there and you're saying you dropped like 40 bucks, dude? Then we also got, we also have a syrup side. But I mean, like, we got like a little pizza. We got a little pizza as well. Yeah, so we ate that. We got a side of pizza. That was one of the most intriguing parts of the restaurant is that you can get pizza as a side.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Nick said you can get a side salad or a side pizza. Yeah, and that's when Jordan went, what? I can't imagine anyone gets the side salad at Fazoli's. I bet there's people that come to Fazoli's for the salad. No. It's a lot of Club 62ers on Wednesday. They come. What do they get again?
Starting point is 00:36:04 Do they get the spaghetti too? Spaghetti and salad, yeah. Yeah, they get spaghetti and salad. Everybody gets the spaghetti. If they're doing a promotion, you get the spaghetti. They go, I eat the spaghetti and I give the salad to my grandson's rabbit. Even the rabbit won't eat this. The rabbit goes, is this from Fazoli?
Starting point is 00:36:23 No, thank you. this is terrible quality oh man uh i want to like i'm like curious about like like what would it be like if you if you just like parked in the corner uh inside the fazoli's on a wednesday and just counted how many club 62 was rolled through i bet it doesn't even have to be a wednesday i bet you get how many Club 62ers rolled through. I bet it doesn't even have to be a Wednesday. I bet you get so many Club 62ers every day of the week at this fucking place. Do you think they call them 62ers? I hope so. Well, they're experienced eaters.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Don't forget. You must address them with the respect they deserve. Oh, hello, sir. Let me give you an offering for experienced eaters. One spaghetti inside salad for you. Give me the spaghetti! As reward for being over the age of 62,
Starting point is 00:37:12 here is your salad and spaghetti. Your experience precedes you, sir. Holy shit. I've heard tale of this eater from far and wide. Mervin, he's here and he's eating his spaghetti. And they don't even get meatballs with that.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Nope. Nope. The meatballs is extra. And also, the meatballs is dog. Yes. Should we review the food? Yeah, I suppose so. I think that's the point of the show.
Starting point is 00:37:49 You're itching to. Here's what it looks like. You want to see? Blah. Oh, I forgot to take pictures of the food. Don't worry. What the fuck? I told you this is a cursed episode.
Starting point is 00:38:01 What is happening? It's just you. Go in there and order it again. I'm falling apart. Yeah, you need to take a picture of the fresh pizza. Yeah, the pizza's gone, but I have some leftover past for you. Oh, I got plenty of pasta leftover. Bunch of eaten pasta.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Really good. Dude, the social team's going to love this. Yeah, they're going to get this and be like, I'm not posting this. Yeah, right. Sorry, guys. Yeah. They're going to get this and be like, I'm not posting this. Yeah, right. Sorry, guys. Okay. So before I dug into the pasta, which was the main attraction. Offering.
Starting point is 00:38:37 You can say it. You're right. Offering is more an apt word than attraction. Yep. Offering is more an apt word than attraction. Yep. But after being offered this food, I dug into the pizza first because I didn't want that to get cold.
Starting point is 00:38:53 And it tasted like pretty much like you would get at a pizza buffet like a Double Dave's or a Cici's where it's like not real pizza. It's Uncanny Valley pizza. It's like, like not real pizza. It's uncanny Valley pizza. It's like rubber pizza. Yeah. And it's like, it's worse than pizza hut,
Starting point is 00:39:12 but it's close. Yeah. But at least pizza huts putting in at least like the bare minimum effort where this is just like throw it under the heat lamp. Let it sit. Let it sit until this guy picks it up. Before you guys got here, me and Nick were talking about it,
Starting point is 00:39:25 and I said it just tastes like the word pizza. Like, yeah. Like it all, when you said uncanny valley of pizza, I feel like that's perfect because it looks like the idea of pizza, and it tastes like the idea of pizza, but at no point would I go, yum, I love this pizza. Yeah. It's not, like, bad.
Starting point is 00:39:48 It's not good. It is fine. It's pizza at its lowest, like, form. Yeah. It's pizza at its lowest form before being bad pizza. Yes. Like, this is gross. This tastes bad.
Starting point is 00:40:04 It's just like, eh, it's pizza. Yes. This is gross. This tastes bad. It's just like, eh, it's pizza. Yep. Yeah. If it was a macaroni and cheese pizza, which I can imagine what this tastes like, it would be bad pizza. But it's saved by being cheese and pepperoni. Yep. The crust was also very weirdly
Starting point is 00:40:20 salty. Mm-hmm. Very salty crust, which is a new experience in eating pizza. Usually it's dusted with garlic and stuff, but offering of salt. Don't mind if I do. That's the herbs and spices.
Starting point is 00:40:35 The herbs and spices. Salt. And then I also dug into the breadstick. I got two breadsticks, but I wanted to save one for the past. And that looks like an olive garden breadstick and tastes like a fake olive garden breadstick it was like they were like they they probably ordered some breadsticks from olive garden took it back to their like uh test kitchen and were like deconstruct and recreate.
Starting point is 00:41:05 And they like did the best they could. And it's like, just, just below that. So it's like, they tried their best. It just tastes like a rip off of all of garden, uh,
Starting point is 00:41:16 breadstick. I would say cheddar bait biscuit is way better than this. Just in case anyone was wondering. Damn. Right. I bet they were, they probably were. And then you dig into the pasta, which at this point was all nice and greenhouse gas affected
Starting point is 00:41:38 by the cover, it was just like all condensation when I opened it, It was like almost water. But at this point, the top had formed a nice coagulation of cheese topping that almost came off in one piece, if not for the scattering of meatballs to interrupt it. Right, yeah, kind of break it up. Yeah. I could see the panko breadcrumbs were present, and underneath was the bed of pasta with a couple of diced tomatoes strewn about. So I dug in and got a taste with the cheese and the pasta,
Starting point is 00:42:21 and I was like, not bad. Cheesy. Okay. And then I was like, not bad. Cheesy. Okay. And then I was like, how's this pasta taste by itself? And I took a bite. And I was like, that was nothing. How's this pasta taste by itself? Took a bite.
Starting point is 00:42:35 It didn't taste like anything. The pasta has no flavor. Yeah. The pasta is straight carbohydrate. Yep. In pasta form. Yep. And I was like, sauce is supposed to come with this, right?
Starting point is 00:42:49 I couldn't find any sauce. It wasn't until the end that I found, I think it might have been lopsided and all of it went to one corner of the dish. And I found a good pocket where I could get my breadstick and try to soak up some of that Alfredo sauce. But it's too late at this point.
Starting point is 00:43:05 The cheese was gross and all coagulated the pasta has no flavor the meatballs were fine like they're a little spicy but it definitely reads as low quality food that you know was worth every penny of the five dollars yeah it is what it is it is what it is it's what's it's it's true uh i would give it man should i take the pizza into account or just this special thing i'm just gonna do the pasta like at first i was like side of pizza that's like 50 minimum but removing that from the equation, this is like, I don't know, but 34. 34. 34. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Just bad. Okay. I'm going to agree. It was pretty bland. I think the thing with the most flavor out of all of it was the breadstick. The breadstick, yeah. You know, it definitely is like a replica Olive Garden breadstick the breadstick yeah yeah you know it it definitely is like a replica olive garden breadstick but it's a little sadder it's it's a little softer
Starting point is 00:44:11 but not i don't know it's not a good soft it's not as dense it's a little more hollow it's yeah it's just kind of like brant yeah it goes brant when you eat it but it had the flavor you know like you were eating it and you could taste the shit that they covered it in. But yeah, the pizza was whatever. And the pasta was absolutely flavorless. Definitely could have used, and I'm a cheese man, could have used more sauce and less cheese. Yep, I agree with that. It actually shocked me how much cheese there was because I feel like I don't know anything about the restaurant industry, but I feel like they're always going, no, less cheese will save money.
Starting point is 00:44:51 You know, they don't just throw cheese all willy nilly and giving it away. If it's cheap cheese. They did it. They did it. I mean, it might be. They did it. I didn't have as much as a coagulation as you did, but I also ate the pasta first. did it. I didn't have as much as a coagulation as you did, but I also ate the pasta
Starting point is 00:45:04 first. The meatball was probably the tastiest thing in that dish. There were three of them. They weren't bad. But all in all, I'd say it's pretty on brand for what it is. It's drive-thru
Starting point is 00:45:17 pasta. I've never had drive-thru pasta before, but this is what I imagine it tastes like. And they didn't disappoint. It's definitely this is what I imagine it tastes like. Yes. Yeah. And they didn't disappoint. It's definitely not worse than I thought it would be. Yeah, but I wasn't surprised. I didn't have high expectations, but you always have that, maybe it'll be really good somehow. It wasn't.
Starting point is 00:45:38 But it is a cheap meal. It is a drive-thru. I wasn't expecting a 100. I'll give it 48. Yeah. Okay. It's an average score of 41. It's a pretty 40.
Starting point is 00:45:52 It's a pretty 40. Yeah, I guess. I was hoping low 30s. Yeah, sorry, man. Or high 30s at least. Sorry. You should have scored it lower. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:46:00 I'm just disappointed in you. It's fine. Yeah, well, you didn't get four breadsticks, though. He gave me four. Yeah, I only got two. Like a chunk. Yeah, sorry. I didn't realize that I had so many left over.
Starting point is 00:46:11 There's a lot. I was just thinking about this. I tend to be like, I really like textures and stuff. So I thought I'd be pretty happy with this, because it has interesting textures with the pasta and the, you're still eating breadsticks and like the bread crumbs and the meatballs but it was not enough
Starting point is 00:46:30 like as much as I enjoy texture food it's I need you need flavor as well and it was just not there it was lacking yeah I wonder what our side is do we want to guess while I get it I will say I hope it's not wine because then we all
Starting point is 00:46:45 need to get right home. All right, what the fuck is this? Welcome back. We just came through hell. Hang on. Guys, I'm taking a picture.
Starting point is 00:46:57 I'm taking a picture. Hang on. It looks like tofu. I forgot I was talking and my microphone was in my lap. You got some sort of pie. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:08 What does it say on the sheet? I'm going to guess a pumpkin pie. Oh, if Eric's the one picking it, it's most certainly pumpkin. It says, the Cheesecake Factory pumpkin cheesecake. Wow. Is it written somewhere? Yeah. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, I like threw it away. Oh shit, look at that. Because I thought we were done. Pumpkin cheesecake on a graham cracker crust made by the cheesecake factory bakery drizzled with gurdeli salted caramel sauce. How'd they get in cheesecake factory food? What's that about? How's this deal working?
Starting point is 00:47:42 Like, this is Fazoli's. Yeah. That's cheesecake factory. Cheesecake factory has heard of's that about? How's this deal working? Like, this is Fazoli's. Yeah. That's Cheesecake Factory. Cheesecake Factory has heard of Fazoli's? Or did they just go out and buy it and like- Give us the answers. It's like a chicken shack deal from Long Beach, whatever that place was, where they were getting the Popeye's chicken and reselling it.
Starting point is 00:47:59 They're just going out and buying the Cheesecake Factory cheesecake and being like, now at Fazoli's. You know, Fazoli's and Cheesecake Factory, and being like, now at Fazoli's. You know, Fazoli's and Cheesecake Factory, two giant names in the industry finally teaming up together to bring you an incredible food. What do you think of the pumpkin
Starting point is 00:48:15 cheesecake? I didn't eat it yet. It smells like pumpkin. Mine's very wet. Wait until you figure out what it tastes like. I hope it tastes like pumpkin. It might surprise you. Mine doesn't want to open. It's so fucking wet.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Why? Why is it wet? It's so wet. It's very mushy. I would say the flavor is about 10% pumpkin, 90% caramel. A very sweet treat for somebody like me who only likes sweet things. Dude. The lowest common
Starting point is 00:48:50 denominator. If you're throwing like a Club 62 member, like you're throwing them this, they're dead. Dude, they're dead, yeah. Their heart's gonna start racing. This is a death sentence, dude. Their type 2 diabetes is gonna flare the fuck up, they're toast. One bite. You know a death sentence, dude. Their type 2 diabetes is gonna flare the fuck up their toast. One bite.
Starting point is 00:49:06 You know. It's not bad. It's not bad, but it's so mushy. Yeah, I wish I'd gotten it fresh instead of it sitting in Eric's car for about an hour and a half. Like, like, legitimately that, I think this was the firmness that it was when we got it. Gross. It was, it was not cold.
Starting point is 00:49:21 It was not cold. I don't, I don't want to keep eating it then. I mean, there's flavor for sure. Yeah. It's fine. It's like a 65. I'm going to give it a 65. It's not bad.
Starting point is 00:49:35 It's not a good pumpkin pie though. Yeah, it would taste better if it were more pumpkin and also not mush. I'm going to knock off a couple points for how unpumpkiny it is. I'm going to give it a 53. Wow. And I also, you know, it's too sweet. He doesn't like how sweet it is.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Very sweet. Average score of 59. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. It's good. I think that if it was at Cheesecake Factory and you were getting it at Cheesecake Factory and it didn't come from Fazoli's, it would be fresher and better and not from Fazoli's. Here's the thing. I'm choking on the crust.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Here's the thing. Not only would it be better, but I don't doubt for a second they didn't downgrade their food before they sent it on over to fazoli oh absolutely yeah that's not how it works you don't you don't get the same thing you don't you don't get name brand outside of the the name they go we'll give you the shitty like the the fucking we'll give you the cheesecake the interns made yeah the leftovers yep or like yeah the last year's ingredients or whatever. Yeah. Well, they don't want people going to Frizzoli's for cheesecake.
Starting point is 00:50:51 They want to go to Cheesecake Factory. It's good enough where you eat it and you go, I should go get the real one at Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. That's what I vote like eating the pastas. I should go get real pasta. Yeah. I'll say about this pasta though.
Starting point is 00:51:08 There's a lot. I'm not saying whether that's good or not, but if you want a lot of food for five bucks, there's so I'm so full and I probably didn't even eat half. Yeah. If you're just trying to get, if you're trying to get full for cheap, this will get the job done.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Yep. Yeah. I don't know that you're going to be stoked about it. You will get full. You won't be. But you'll just kind of go like, maybe I should have gotten something else. It's strictly like pragmatic utilitarian approach. It's like, I'm hungry.
Starting point is 00:51:33 I need food. I don't care what goes into me. This will get the job done. All the Club 62ers at Face Jam love it, though, so it's fine. Jordan's eloquent. So, guys. Oh, we did it. Yeah. What's on top
Starting point is 00:51:46 of this on top of this cheesecake is it like a cream cheese icing I think it's I think it's just I think it's just whipped cream I think you're tasting I don't know
Starting point is 00:51:54 it's a little no it's no it's pretty dense yeah it's no way it's just whipped cream there's something in there you're wrong well that was a surprise but if you
Starting point is 00:52:02 want to send us snacks if you want to send us snacks you can send us snacks send it to face jam care of Eric Badour 1901 East 51st Street Austin Texas 78723 we just did the snack attack so we we are low
Starting point is 00:52:15 on snacks I'm not saying hey you absolutely have to send something I'm saying if you want to now it's probably the time here's the other thing don't send bugs I just throw them away I don't look at the
Starting point is 00:52:23 card I don't get more bugs yeah we got bugs and I just throw them away. I don't look at the card. I don't care. You get more bugs? Yeah, we got bugs. And I just threw them away. It's not funny. You're wasting your money. Please don't send us bugs. It's not the first time I've said this. Don't send us bugs. You have said it multiple times. Yes. I've said it. And guess what? We still get bugs. It's not funny. It's funny that
Starting point is 00:52:42 you throw them away. Well, here's the thing. If you send multiple things and one of them is bugs, I'm probably just going to toss all of it because it's not funny. Just don't send bugs at all. Don't try to sneak bugs. Don't try to just send bugs. Yep. And if you're hearing this and being like, everyone else is dumb, but when I do, it'll be funny.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Guarantee you it's not. You are the problem. I immediately throw them away. I don't know. You could be the one that cuts through the noise you could be the funny one uh-huh just saying waka waka maybe yep maybe you know uh honestly i i don't care enough to just to stop anyone because it's not me getting the bugs but well the trash can getting the bugs it is the trash getting the bug for a while it was jeremy getting the bugs j It is the trash can getting the bugs. For a while, it was Jeremy getting the bugs. Jeremy ate the bugs.
Starting point is 00:53:26 But now I don't see Jeremy, so he can't eat the bugs. It's not worth going to his place for a bug drop ball. No, no. How am I going to drop him off stuff? In my own car like an idiot? No. I'm not carrying bugs in my car. They might break free.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Yep. So again, I already brought it up, but Snack Attack 2, the snackening, is up on Rooster Teeth. We talked about it earlier, but it is up now on rooster teeth go check out snack attack 2 the snackening it was very good it was a lot of fun there were surprises pitbull was there uh there was uh in a way uh-huh yeah and then we had a the spice rat shirt reveal and all kinds of cool stuff you can follow at wasn't as good as the first one though though. You like the first one better?
Starting point is 00:54:05 I mean, it's not my opinion. It's just a fact. It was good. The audience let us know that it was fine, but not as good. I just, again, I'm being honest. If you like the first one, you'll probably like this one a little bit less. Yeah. But you'll still like it. I thought it was fun.
Starting point is 00:54:21 It was fun. But the whole time, despite it being different, the whole time we were very safe and tested negative. And it was very safe. I think that's what dampened the fun a little bit. Because I couldn't lick you like I wanted to. Yeah, you kept telling us that you were going to suck our fingers. Like it was.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Yeah, I know. And I couldn't. And that's fine. Because without that, then it wouldn't exist at all. Yep. So I think for the circumstances we were under, it's as good as it could have been. I think it was very good. I'm nodding. We couldn't run free and do whatever we want.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Correct. So follow at FaceJamPod to stay up to date on everything that's going on with FaceJam. Speaking of that, the Spice Rat shirt, it was a hot drop. It came out. It sold out immediately. We made the most money for anything at Rooster Teeth in a day. We helped RTX at home. I think you're making that up. No.
Starting point is 00:55:15 We helped RTX at home. Biggest viewership through RTX because we rule. So great job to us. And if you want to get up, if you want to stay up to date on when you can get a Spice Rat shirt again, again,
Starting point is 00:55:28 follow at Face Jam Pod. But, if you go to bit, that's B-I-T, dot L-Y slash F-J Spice Rat,
Starting point is 00:55:36 and there will be a link in the description of this episode. That's bit.ly slash F-J Spice Rat. You can sign up to get notified
Starting point is 00:55:44 on the restock of the Spice Rat shirt. Why are you laughing? It sounds like a guy's name. It sounds like a guy's name, you know? Hey, guys, it's me, F-J Spice Rat, coming at you live. It's me, F-J Spice Rat, you know? It's like the guy that...
Starting point is 00:56:00 It sounds like he'd be on MTV. No, I think it'd be like a clothing store or something. Oh. F-J Spice Rats? Yeah. Oh, shopping over at FJ Spice. We call it FJ Spice for short, but it's FJ Spice Rats. I like it.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I do all my back-to-school shopping at FJ Spice Rats. They have the freshest styles. That's how the other kids know you're cool. Yeah. They're like the Tillys of the 2020s. Yeah, definitely. The coolest. Also, coming soon, the Face Jam Cup
Starting point is 00:56:31 and the Sauce Monkey Plush. That thing's going to sell out in 10 seconds. We showed both of these off at Snack Attack 2, the snackening, and you'll be able to buy them soon. We'll keep you up to date on when exactly that's going to happen,
Starting point is 00:56:48 but stay tuned. Follow at FaceJamPod on Twitter for all your up-to-date information. Don't forget to rate. Why did you say it like you were bored? I wasn't bored. He's just glummy. He's a little glummy Gus.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Not glummy. You dragged it out. No.'s just glummy. He's still glummy. He's a little glummy Gus. Not glummy. You dragged it out. No. He's glummy. Not glummy. You're like a gloom. I'm not glum. Please rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate
Starting point is 00:57:17 the food. And please, if you're going to do it, tell them we don't eat on the show. Except for at the end, we might take like a little bite. Right. But most of it, we don't eat. A lot of people I see, they say, oh, I can't eat on the show. Except for at the end, we might take a little bite. Right. But most of it, we don't eat. A lot of people I see, they say, oh, I can't listen to people eat. Are you familiar with the subreddit Confidently Incorrect? No, that sounds great.
Starting point is 00:57:35 I've never been wrong in my life, so I don't know that. Hey, you sound confidently incorrect. There was a comment on the Snaggiting that was like, they should just do this all the time. Audio only and eating on a podcast is such a dumb idea. And everyone was like, you clearly don't listen to the podcast. I think I replied to that guy and I just said, this comment rules. Then Eric loaded him up and shot him into space.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Yep. Sorry, baby. Enjoy space. That's just whipped cream. Yeah. Sorry, baby. Enjoy space. Anyway. That's just whipped cream. No. No, it's not. No, it is.
Starting point is 00:58:10 It's just whipped cream. No. All right, so now that we're at the end of the episode, do you want to talk about how the episode went? Because we're not past like an hour and 15 minutes yet, so I think we have some time to kill. I liked it. I liked it.
Starting point is 00:58:21 I think Fazoli's is a fun restaurant for us to do because we don't know anything about it yeah and we'll never be back nope i mean i hardly forever fazoli i hardly come up here as it is so i'm definitely not coming for fazoli's eric take a picture of it because i'm not getting out of my car so just like pretend we were in it yeah take a pic take a picture of the food too don't forget i'm serious i'm not getting out Don't forget to upload the audio Don't forget to like Alright well now you're just talking about chores Yeah now we're doing chores
Starting point is 00:58:52 I just don't want him to like screw up anymore I'm just trying to help He fucked up a lot today I'm gonna pop the tires on your van's cars I didn't say van Whoa he's got van on his car I didn't say van Michael we really win because now we're in his head little Freudian slip there, Eric.

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