100% Eat - Graysie in the New Studio %% Cheesecake Factory Triple Berry Bliss Cheesecake

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Graysie (and Our Heroes) head to Cheesecake Factory to get get a bite of the Triple Berry Bliss Cheesecake. And the buffalo blasts. and the avocado eggrolls. and who had the two orders of fried mac n ...cheese? some artichoke dip for the table? It's a lot and it's compounded even more because Graysie is FIRED UP when she's paying attention. Sponsored by Mando. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE shopmando.com and use code EAT to get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s 40% off). Check out http://100percenteat.myshopify.com to grab a shirt. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Your teen requested a ride, but this time not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it.
Starting point is 00:00:26 You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers and Eric's all up in there. Jordan, how are you? I was fine until he got in front of the camera. I was checking. I was checking. But you were the one racing for us to start.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Yeah. And the second we started, you're like, hang on, we've started too freely. All of this was like, so excited excited so excited to be in the new space Yeah, grace is here. He hit a wall grace. He did Hi everyone yeah, hey guys Gracie's here new You can't go backwards you can only go forward and try not to make the same mistake I only wanted one but these two are stuck together. Look, this is what happens.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Also, we talked about it at dinner and everything. Yeah. We did a 100% treat, which is what Snack Attack used to be, before we went and recorded that. Uh-huh. And Nick is just weirder than ever, grabs snacks that we don't want to eat, I mean- Squirreled them away.
Starting point is 00:01:30 At some point, I feel like we're just being annoying. Grace, you're gonna have to read off that. So you're gonna have to read off that after five years. But it's never normal. No. It's not like, oh, that's Nick, you should expect it. Like, I kind of should, but it's still surprising at his frequency and ferocity
Starting point is 00:01:46 You'll see this when a thing happens and it's like all that matters in the universe to him It's like his it's like it's like his fucking Diverging point is like it's like if I don't get that skittle now. Yeah, my life miserable forever While Jordan's like talking about the weather. Yeah My life could be miserable forever. Meanwhile, Jordan's like talking about the weather. Yeah. And like, he just sees red and just like one orange skittle.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Tunnel vision. Yeah. It happens so frequently. Yeah. I forgot what I was going to say. You can see in the video that we did where all this happened. But, um, Nick wanted these snacks so bad. And Grac Gracie at the same time was
Starting point is 00:02:28 trying to find the building yeah and we were like Nick go stand outside so Gracie wanted to be in the end of the video. I'm recording you two are hosting Nick is the monkey and it's like go. The most important one. Go. go yeah Never asked him to sit down never asked him to sit down not only did he never asked him to sit down This is a video that comes out this Saturday if you're watching this right now, Gracie Not only did he not ask him to sit down. He preferred he stood Ignored him and did not Pushing Jordan on the couch. Yeah And I would have the box and He kept pushing Jordan on the couch. We were sat like this with him on the end,
Starting point is 00:03:07 and I would have the box, and Nick's in the box as I'm holding it with Jordan going like this. But there were snacks on the table. And you're going, hello? I know how I want to call my girl and not like what it is. I couldn't answer. I was filming with my phone. But don't worry, guys. I found the building located. No!
Starting point is 00:03:24 That's why we didn't give her the complete address. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. She was going to dox us. We knew what it was with her. But Nick was going out and checking like nope she's not out there coming back in. Food's still here? Dude. Let me get that. Two seconds outside and then going she's making a U-turn and we're like right but you could direct her to get in here and he went I don't know where she is. He just kept going back in and then, and then I would like get a, or I would see a slack from Grazie just going, help, help. And then, and then Nick standing in the room with us and be like, look for Eric's car. Yeah. Give him the least useful advice. I know. It's the one with the door. Yeah, right. He's had his **** so.
Starting point is 00:04:03 God damn it! It's the one with the door This is less than five minutes after after Gracie just did this in the right of life That's why he left the door open too, so when he stormed out he wouldn't have to open it But I mean okay, so I don't I want to it's fine. We'll censor it. It's fine. What did I say was gonna? Yeah, but it's happened three times. What do we all agree with you on? It's fine. I can't be trusted. Let's get ahead of this Let's not overlook the fact that grace is weird is that like she never did this when we were at roosterteeth She never was like everybody. You're what everybody knew that was nothing to docks Stuff there there were secrets being held there Can't help but tell secret hey Gracie's here. We did go to the Cheesecake Factory
Starting point is 00:05:01 Gracie's here. It's another night episode. Yeah, because Gracie's got real job. Yeah but Factory hell yeah, he's here. It's another night episode. Yeah, cuz crazy's got real job. Yeah but See and have seen we are in our new office. Yeah It's our space permanent space. Yep. Our names is on it. We can come and go whenever we want I'll be here a lot. Yeah, I'm gonna sign up No No, why would we do that? We don't want people to know where we are. Don't you get about all of this?
Starting point is 00:05:33 What Is like Sam's fishing Used mattresses something nobody wants to buy Stay away. Okay, once thing nobody my bad. We spent mattresses we We spent on these four chairs and this yeah, $60. Yep, Texas surplus You know it that's why some of them were they were what There may have been rhymes with gummy stained looking chairs there
Starting point is 00:06:07 were some the ones least stained yeah we were chairs were nine dollars yeah so they're more comfortable than what we've been sitting in for months they really are dude remember remember the fine the fine chairs at aapw yeah yeah the mix and match of I think this one will stay together as I sit on it Hey, is this one okay? And I think they use that for matches. Yeah, I think that's a prop I might be a gimmick chair. Uh, there's fake blood on mine. No, there is no We found a trapezoid desk we found these four chairs I was like desk was a great find by the way Yeah
Starting point is 00:06:42 before we went there what we wanted Eric was like it would really be cool to have one with like some some angles. I go you're looking for a trapezoid desk. And you're like yeah yeah and it was the second desk we saw. Yeah we just went ah! It reminded me of elementary school. No big time. Well all of this stuff. This one was like 35. Yeah. So the first one we looked at was $20. Yeah. We stamped it up. I thought this one was cheaper cheaper So you know Texas surplus is a place where if it was a government building and they shut down They send the stuff there and then sell it to you like at less than cost Yeah, right the chairs all nine, but like there's a lot of old technology as well a lot Right a typewriter started playing with it turning around and going this is like 25 bucks I should have should have what I found which was not for sale because it was just I think part of the structure and
Starting point is 00:07:33 There was no price on it, but I wanted was there was a bell. Oh Nailed just nailed to a stud. Yeah, I'm like how about this? Smell start ringing it good episode me the doorbell when I arrived. Yeah, we'll this. Podcast bell. Start ringing it. Good episode. I can be the doorbell when I arrive. Yeah, we'll put it out there with a sign. Gracie rings here. We're gonna put these cutouts of us out front. I'm so glad that you fucking kept these things dude. I kept them. As set decoration. They're awesome. Were those in your house all this time? They weren't not in my house. Did they sleep in the room with you? Well, I didn't usually not in my house Well, I didn't I didn't usually sleep in my office unless I was in trouble
Starting point is 00:08:18 Also, I guess I guess if you if you were asking I also never took them out of my office up to my bed This is That's where they go at night. They want her to be lonely down there. Night night Jordan, night night. No, this is great too because they're much more in the frame. Yeah. It was you guys, it was the heads cut off. Yeah, we did all this like set decorating in like the span of two hours as well. Yeah, for no money.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah, we, these are old shelves from my house. Yep. And then this is all shit we had anyway. Just stuff, fan art and stuff like that. We put it together and then we went to the Texas Surplus, bought this stuff, drove back, Eric took a little longer, and then it was like in under two hours
Starting point is 00:08:57 that we put this together. It was great. It rocked. It was great. And the AC almost worked pretty good. I mean, it works better than it. Yeah, then previous night recordings only Can I ask about the one sound? Detonating block on the ceiling. Oh the sound Detonating block
Starting point is 00:09:20 What is that's like a bomb? dampening Detonating would be detonating be the opposite of what we're loading sound to blow up dampening is like lessening Right. Oh, did you? Yeah, okay good What's with the detonator? Yeah How that room sound fucking loud They got to do something about the sound Nick wanted to put one on the ceiling right above everything It was the last piece that we had
Starting point is 00:09:50 Oh, I see Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So we just, we kinda did this Me and Nick were here the other day We got a bunch of this done in like an hour We got the little, I don't even know what we're calling that room The other room Yeah, the other room
Starting point is 00:09:59 The play room We got room one We got other room I brought a bunch of plants Yeah They're nice plants Oh wait, where's the plant that we were talking about at dinner? It's a big one. It's a big one in the corner big one. You gotta look at a huge walked out There's a little okay. Well you can't appreciate it to the crack. No, it's pretty nice. It's a palm palm leaves. It's not
Starting point is 00:10:19 Right I don't think so any who I'm not a plant I don't think so. Anywho. I'm not a plant guy. Anywho. Let's get off this topic. This is how it's been since like Gracie walked in. I mean before. Yeah. She walked in. Yeah. Yeah. She said we did a 100% treat. Y'all knew I was coming. We did do 100% treat. And there was something given to us by Nicholas McKay. And now, and you guys didn't want to read it.
Starting point is 00:10:49 We thought it was too crazy approved. So it's fine. Snuggle solution with real life heartbeat for anxiety. I hope Cinnamon enjoys this from Nick McKay. She would have loved it. We just opened it, but she's definitely having separation anxiety now I would say that she isn't anymore I would say that she isn't I you got to think of it like a half glass eyelashes oh see but it's kind of serendipitous because it would sent for
Starting point is 00:11:22 cinnamon okay so that she wouldn't She'll get it later. She'll get it. Oh, whoa. She's talking about her dog. Who's passed. Come on Is the heart in there? Yeah, this was sent as I'll get it She's not gonna get it. The heart? None of this shit. This was sent as a thing for the dog Yes, so when it was separated from Gracie But now Gracie can use it like her dog who's been separated from her forever. I can hear going Oh, yeah, it's making a little noise Can you hear it now? Just like cinnamon. She'll get it
Starting point is 00:12:02 Just like cinnamon So I think yeah, my goal is reading like oh wait there's modes all the features. Oh great Stay on for eight hours To turn off Eric, please wash your hands first before you go in for surgery This is how they used to do it before germ theory velcro. What's going on? He just trimmed his nails wait guys. It's not turning off I can hear it. Oh, they're good. Okay, so hold it a lot longer than five. Okay. What is this? Um? this oh this Hang on hang on here. Go ahead and put the heat pack inside. Oh, there's a heat pack
Starting point is 00:12:54 But does this go in it too you microwave it? Right, but then where's it go in the dog? Yeah. Oh, no. No, you don't microwave it In both do not Microwave on it. I know you're making me think I'm gonna like those little tricking me And I'm gonna eat the shit out of it. Why are you doing? It has to shake it to heat it up Cuz she's cold She's just a girl She's just a girl in morning
Starting point is 00:13:30 She's just a girl in morning Let her shake what she wants This is, this episode is fucking crazy Oh man It's the second time She just plopped something on your arm But also went for like a reaction. It's way cooler than my skin temperature.
Starting point is 00:13:47 It was, it's just like a solid 80 degrees. Oh my god. It's not 80. Oh man. And then Nightmare made us some fidget toys. So thank you, Nightmare. Oh yeah, thanks Nicholas. Nicholas made a, got a doll for Gracie.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And then Nightmare made some fidget toys for us. This one's a comb. But also you're glossing over it. I mean I don't know if you want to show it off. Yeah I guess we should although Again it is in the video that we shot. Maybe we'll just wait till next week. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:17 We'll hang it up. Nice right? Dude he's so he's not anxious anymore. It's like my cinnamon's back. Oh we both have cinnamon's that are gone. Rest in peace all cinnamon's. I bet there's other people in the Dude he's so he's not anxious like my heart is back Yeah Rest in peace all I bet there's other people in the club to let us know Hit that right behind you just hit that red button How did you get that that was recorded forever? How did you do it?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Did you hold record and then talk into it? You can have that Well, no because that needs to be here now. So I'm gonna guess we can't ever record No, it's a button and talks into it. Uh-huh. Then when you push it it plays what you just said. Yes Technology works You are on the episode where we did this you explaining it while she was Yeah, uh-huh yeah She didn't get a fuck about what you had to say whatever You know what all that matters just answering your question. Oh man cinnamon lives guys
Starting point is 00:15:27 Yeah Ha Jesus Man, uh so how was Cheesecake Factory? Yeah wasn't Jesus, but it was fabulous. Yeah, oh our server fabulous Cool, dude clanked around one time bonkers board right at the end though. Yeah, he is clank. Yeah link the loud There was no need for him to clank It's just so much trash there's skittles trash there's skittles Quickly the trash has built up around grace it's just like the old studio. Oh my god How are we supposed to film that one was my fault? That's true. God damn. Lay down and tarp
Starting point is 00:16:18 Well you just keep to your own pluffle You can you can trash your own pluffle as much as you want. I can't that thing is sacred. That's the last place cinnamon was I'm kidding well We don't know Well fabulous was our server And I guess we're reviewing the Cheesecake Factory's triple berry bliss cheesecake, I mean it's the it's the It's a thin premise to get us in the door. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:16:49 Gracie is picking up Skittles right now. I don't want them to. Well, she said later and later's now. Later is after when it happened. Yes. We decided, because we knew it was gonna be the most expensive meal in the history of 100% Eat, let's do appetizer dinner.
Starting point is 00:17:08 It's true. It was a nice family style... Girl dinner. Sharing... It was. It was very much like that. And then these two got entrees. Right. But I got something off the Skinnylicious menu, so it wasn't really that much food. It doesn't count. Right. It's more the price. And you were very upfront.
Starting point is 00:17:26 We were talking about getting food and then the idea turned into, we'll just get appetizer dinners and I kept going, I'm still getting dinners though. And you 100% did. And I knew the whole time. It wasn't like I blew that plant out of the water. But here's what happened, because it's rolling downhill. Because you did it, then he did it. He did it at then the last second it
Starting point is 00:17:45 was yes funny and that sent him immediately nose in the yeah I know because I got waiters the waiters took the menu yeah or the waiter took the menus like it was like okay that's it that's what you're getting and he was collecting them all and Nick was still doing that, and the waiter went, did you wanna hang on to yours? And he didn't answer. So we answered for him. Yeah, and we went, yeah, he's gonna hang on to his.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I was reading. Yeah, he was going, uh, uh, uh. He wants his menu. And he was like. Didn't order anything after that, though, but he held onto it. But fabulous to give us a knowing look like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:25 All right. We also started the meal with espresso martinis because Jordan said, oh, espresso martinis. I've never had one of those. Despite how trendy they are right now, everyone's having them. It's like the drink of the summer. It is. And then Michael said, oh, we'll do five. And then Nick went, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:42 And then so we got five. And Jordan kept going, I know how trendy they are a bunch of times, huh? And then we drank it I feel like I said it once but okay, and then we drank it and we agree It's like all regular martinis better. Yes, Gracie must have agreed also Because she had one sip and then Michael had to espresso I think I drank both before anyone finished theirs. Absolutely. But I drink them fairly often.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Yeah. And I ironically drink more now, but better. You okay? I'm more of a common drinker now. You never know, another one could strike. Be on guard. No, I'm good now. Alright, cool. I went, this is good. No. All right, cool. Yeah, I went this is good. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:19:26 And Gracie couldn't believe it. She literally like she's like she went like this, but then she went she went think with my arm between I Don't like this Do you do you want it? I was like, oh absolutely. I didn't want it to be public ticket over and then I cheers George Well, yeah, you some confusion. I just finished Like oh you got another one. It was pretty good, but that was a nice way to start the meal So basically I got I think it energized from you did you got you got?
Starting point is 00:19:57 Revved up. Yeah, and then and then just by proximity I guess Gracie also got very silly I'm always very silly. Gracie got revved up on pretzel bites, which when we ordered... Oh, don't forget about the Buffalo Blasters. Buffalo Blasters came out first. Fabulous came... Was it...
Starting point is 00:20:16 You just threw your phone. Someone's phone was just thrown. Whose phone is this? I think it's mine. No way. No way, huh? How did it go there? I don't know. How did it get there? I don't know. How do they get there? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Somebody get me in the leg and there's a phone. How do they get there? She's kicking again. Our waiter, Fabulous, walked over as Nick and Gracie were talking about what appetizers we should get because we decided on an appetizer dinner. Somebody said the word Buffalo Blasters. Buffalo Blasters and Gracie started going,
Starting point is 00:20:43 Buffalo Blasters is so good. She literally went, oh, those started going Buffalo blasts so good Like I think we're gonna get those so then we ordered all of our so I went a Buffalo blasters Yeah, fabulous already knew he was like yeah, so Background he's like I I get it, they are good. Yeah. So we got those, avocado egg rolls, cool. Two things, a fried mac and cheese. And then I went, what was the other, there was another ending?
Starting point is 00:21:16 It wasn't even like, I don't even think, you went, I think that's it. You're like, I think that's everything. And I was just staring right at you. I was staring right at you and I knew you had forgotten. I totally forgot and I was and I could feel the heat Started vibrating. Yeah, and so like I just started saying and we'll take the pretzel Less subtle if she went cough pretzels cough Eric I didn't read it because I didn't see any of it I saw a sudden movement sure but it didn't read to me like it was like the hidden cough
Starting point is 00:21:55 I thought she had like exploded like she was going Somebody hit her pretzel Somebody hit the pretzel detonation Pretzels! We can't reach! It was fucking crazy. There was no way, we had a reservation, we didn't need it. Walked right in.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Did you even tell them we had a reservation? He did. I did. The guy was like, could not care less. I'm like, we had one at seven, you can cancel it. And He did. I did. I was like could not care less. No, I'm like I'm like we had one at seven you can cancel it and he did not acknowledge Check the computer. Yeah, I'm sure when a reservation comes in it goes into like a Trash can in the back. Yeah, exactly But I just didn't want it to be we got there at a certain time and then we got fucked or whatever So I'll just get a time in whatever. Yeah, right. You never would have gotten the bread or the pretzels
Starting point is 00:22:43 I ate so much bread. You kept eating the bad bread. No I didn't. When I said that the bad bread. When I said that this bread was better you were eating the other one. This one is so hard. I had six pieces of brown bread and then all the brown bread was gone. So I had one piece of white bread. Jesus Christ! I had one piece of brown bread, period. Now do you mean one piece or one like connected thing? No, no, not one loaf! Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:12 One of the little sections. I had a couple loaves. I technically had two brown loaves and a white piece. Oh my god. I had a couple loaves. Did it get you fucking amped? Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Michael told me to eat the whole loaf. I was ripping and he goes, just take it. Well, I told you that because I immediately I grabbed it because there was so much bread. He brought us like two baskets. It was like, it was a lot. And, uh, he could see it in his eyes. Like, like the loaves, quote unquote, it's like three little pieces. Yeah. But there was like seven of those pieces and there was so much bread for all of us. I just grabbed one and I started eating it.
Starting point is 00:23:47 And Eric made a point to be like, oh, you're just grabbing like the whole thing. The whole thing and not breaking it off. And I'm like, yeah, there's so much bread. And then she started like, I'm like, no, just take the whole thing. Just take this. We don't even have a bread fight. Yeah. We're going to be all, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah, we know It's fine there was like nine plates of butter I was like I feel like it's already butter. I just started whatever and she goes I'm getting into all that I've crevice I was told about the crevices. Yeah, I'm putting everybody butter in all the crevices every crevice
Starting point is 00:24:24 Gracie was double buttering. Oh yeah. Oh, she was going crazy. I did not comment on it at the time. I love butter. I think you love bread. Bread and butter is like one of my favorite things this entire run. My biggest turn off with it, like the bread was good enough already. There's so much food coming in, I didn't care.
Starting point is 00:24:42 But when it's not like whipped I went has too much work for me The butter was it was soft it was soft I'm not saying it wasn't but he was still in a square with you, and I just went I don't even care I'm with you. I don't even care You got a butter yeah, good raise your blood pressure I'm just I'm in the right along and my blood pressure is just going Yeah different reasons Okay, I just pointed to it
Starting point is 00:25:18 Do you guys want to and then you said you said it remember remember about 20 minutes ago Since I started using mando whole body deodorant, I've freed up so much time. Honestly, that's just the required talking point at the very beginning. Let me tell you about the only deodorant that I use, and they are a sponsor, Mando. This is the only...
Starting point is 00:25:36 I said tell us. I forgot I wasn't holding my microphone. This is the only thing... And no one said anything. This is the only thing that works for me. I'm trying to read along. He's going so fast. No, this is the only thing that works for me.
Starting point is 00:25:44 It's going off script. I genuinely only use Mando. Nick is not on camera, but he keeps getting it out of his bag. There it is. He's holding it. Why aren't you talking into the microphone? There's no video. He is holding it by the way. Yeah, but you're holding it down away from your mouth. He is using the deodorant, like the green roll on deodorant like the green roll-on deodorant I use the whole body deodorant the blue like tube or whatever it is the only thing that prevents smell on me It works so well. I have noticed you've been less smelly. I don't stink It's phenomenal like you you stink but not odor wise
Starting point is 00:26:23 No, you still stink. Thanks, but not odor-wise. No, thanks, you still stink, thanks. But it's like a personality thing. Yeah, unfortunately, can't do anything for that. But you don't smell. No, the whole body deodorant, I use every day. It works for so long. I used to have these conversations with Omar at Funhaus about like, he's like, dude, I'm pitting out all the time.
Starting point is 00:26:43 And I said, me too, I don't know what to do. And he's like, I tried this, I tried that, I tried this, I tried that. We both tried Mando and it's like, dude, I'm pitting out all the time. And I said, me too, I don't know what to do. And he's like, I tried this, I tried that, I tried this, I tried that. We both tried Mando and it's like, oh, we're good. And this was forever ago. And now they're back as a sponsor for this show. And I'm so excited to have them as a sponsor because it works so well.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I love Mando, genuinely. I can't stress this enough. It's anger if he loves it. I love Mando. Thank you, Mando. this enough. It's anger if you love Z. I love Mando. Thank you, Mando. Jordan, I know that you're not making eye contact with him, but he's screaming at you. He's kind of scaring me.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Mando Starter Pack is the perfect way to try Mando. It comes with a solid stick deodorant. That's the one Nick was using. Cream tube deodorant. That's the one that I use. Two free products of your choice, like Mini Body Wash, which I use and smells so good, and deodorant wipes.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Ooh, I have used the deodorant wipes. They gave us some and I took them on my trip. Yeah. And when I was walking around outside getting all sweaty, I would come back and wipe myself down and be like, oh, I feel refreshed. See there you go. And free shipping. Luckily, we have a special offer for you, new customers save over 40% by getting $5
Starting point is 00:27:42 off a starter pack. Go to shopmando.com and use code EAT. Watch this. go to shopmando.com and use code EAT. Watch this, go to shopmando.com and use code EAT. That's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com and use promo code EAT, E-A-T, for $5 off your starter pack. But don't eat it. No, don't eat it. Just because you're using promo code EAT?
Starting point is 00:28:00 That's just the name of our show. Don't eat the deodorant. That's the important part so they know that we sent you, and I can't stress this enough. I want them to know, cause I want them to keep sponsoring us, because I want this deodorant is so good, it's the only thing that works for me.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Thank you, Mando. Thanks, Mando. Did you know Mando is clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours? That's cool. Peanut butter and bacon biscuits? Has HomeSense always had all this great pet stuff? Oh, and Dad, look!
Starting point is 00:28:30 Made with locally sourced ingredients. We should get these for the dogs! Peanut butter and bacon biscuits? That sounds like human food, not dog treats! But they're only $10. $10? You know I love to spoil my little fur babies put them in the cart Deal so good everyone approves only at home sense
Starting point is 00:28:52 Hey, do you guys want to learn about cheese? How many Nick how many times you heard this? Good I've heard it That is meant for people like me that need to I'm just saying They're really cool these are great because they say stuff on the side Yeah All right, we're gonna do the Cheesecake Factory I was just curious. They're really cool. These are great because they say stuff on the side. 100% eat. Yeah, 100% eat. Listen, listen to 100% eat. All right, we're gonna do the Cheesecake Factory. What's wrong about Cheesecake Factory?
Starting point is 00:29:30 Our last Cheesecake Factory episode is Face Jam was August 30th, 2022, where we ate the bee sting and cock-chio-a-peppy flatbreads and ahi-pokey nachos. It received an average rating of 73.5. That's pretty good. It was like $95 before tip Well, did y'all know what was coming? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so it was like it really was like three things And I don't remember that oh, yeah, 70 3.5 is pretty high. Yeah, I mean you got the the flatbreads were pretty good I don't think you probably ate the pokey nach, but they were pretty... I think they were decent.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Yeah, but the the flatbreads did really well. That beasting one is still on the menu. So it hung around. Next fact! Anything else on that? No? Okay. All right. Next fact! Can I interview someone who works at the Cheesecake Factory for my student project? We're sorry, but we can't give interviews or questions for school projects fact taken from Cheesecake Factory website So this is just happening all the time, huh? This is a frequent what projects factory consult stop asking Or begging you to stop asking us to be interviewed.
Starting point is 00:30:45 My momentary pause was me going, I don't know, Eric, why are you asking me if you can interview someone? I feel like you could have talked to Fabulous if you wanted. Just don't tell him it's a student project. No, you're not allowed to do it. Don't tell him it's a student project. I feel like we interviewed him just fine. If we had a fucking hidden recorder going, they would have never known. Oh, we also got recognized by someone who worked there. I wish I would have caught his name. He wouldn't have let us interview him. He would have broken the rules. He they would have never known. Oh, we also recognize by yeah
Starting point is 00:31:09 Yeah, he would have yeah, you would have broken the rule he definitely would have yeah, but he came to me He's like hey big fan subscribe on patreon. Yeah, it was like He said loved face jam hate the new show. Yeah, I thought that was very odd. Yeah, why'd he say that the fuck dude? It's messed up. Thanks for subscribing Enjoy the Michael Jordan podcast this week He's a bug. He does not get it. Oh, no. No, he said he was a compliments grackle. Oh, did he? Or a grackle. Yeah, I heard the word grackle.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Yeah, okay. He did. That matters. Yeah, that means that's you get the other half of the content. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real loss is a bug. Yeah, it'd be a mess. Remember when we did one episode of this every two weeks and that was it? Yeah, and it was more work? Yeah. right. How did it felt like they did feel like more work? Yeah
Starting point is 00:31:51 Loving it now. You're loving it now. You didn't love it 30 minutes ago Factories menu is nearly 6,000 words long and contains around 250 items The menu is set up to be a quote talk trigger which is a quote a built-in differentiator that creates customer conversations. Really great conversations like what the fuck is a glam burger and I do not have room for a cheese cake. I feel like shit from that Shepard's pie. Riveting. Well how did you know what everyone was going to say in the restaurant? There are like 15 pages in the menu. It stupid I don't know it's there or like the
Starting point is 00:32:30 wontons like someone has sheep there's so much on the menu you what I want to know how big he's in the corner of the room going spaghetti and he's doing it again doing this We were looking at the menu and and spaghetti was brought up He was brought up Spaghetti was brought up and Gracie goes don't choke on it Also, I went also I said I might get the Fettuccine Alfredo and Gracie's like, is that your favorite or something? Did you get that at Olive Garden?
Starting point is 00:33:06 And I go, no. And she's like, we get that every time that we go out to eat, which was Olive Garden. And I went, no I didn't. And then Jordan went, that was me, I'm Jordan. And then for some reason, Gracie felt the need to go, I know who you are. I just don't know what he's eating.
Starting point is 00:33:25 We wanted Gracie to- I think then you just just went and I can't tell who's talking yeah We wanted Gracie to come back with a fried ball of mac and cheese They were too big it's here Transported be a Yeah, Gracie did have to drive. Yeah. She would have to put it in a cup holder Yeah, we know you're sitting upright the back of your head was filmed every time he talked More facts tired too many things on the menu by the way. I'm tired Grady's getting bored
Starting point is 00:34:08 She's literally going Well you totally Yeah you took a fucking toy away I mean I didn't tell her and she couldn't I asked Nick if he could hear Shhhhhh Hey what time is this over? Hahahaha
Starting point is 00:34:31 Remember right when we started Eric was like, can we get this started? Yeah Let's get going, start the episode Hang on And the grisly, we are located at Hahahaha The restaurant, come and find me! Face me cowards.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I won't be here by the way, I don't work here. The restaurant known the world round is referenced in Drake's song, Uh-oh, Child's Play. Oh no. With the lyrics, quote Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake You know I love to go there trying to strike a chord
Starting point is 00:35:11 I can't believe he has a song called child's play. That's fucking crazy man. It's a big Chucky fan. Yeah He loves Cheesecake Factory, I don't know that I would say I love Cheesecake Factory. I don't like it at all I mean the food was good there. I hate that place Yeah, dude the bat is like being there is bad I were there as a normal person and not the you know I mean that was the pregame for what this is right we were not there as right if that was the main event if that Was just like what yeah, but what? Yeah, but you make sense. Yeah, we know. We know that you make sense.
Starting point is 00:35:46 I love it. I love it. This demographic. No, I immediately looked at him to see if I got a reaction and he didn't. It's just like- That's weird because you guys were definitely on the same page in the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:35:55 If you said to me, not that you ever would, but like, hey, wanna go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner or whatever? I'd be like, no. No. Not at all. I had my birthday dinner there one year. That's fine. That if it was four years ago was it your first 16. No this was two years ago
Starting point is 00:36:10 my 21st Wow, we're your first joke and they're landing much closer actual reality I got her she's a puppy. It was like 2008. She said here's a picture of baby cinnamon I went just cinnamon. Oh, yeah, she's like seven. Yeah I show them the photo. Yeah, it was on is your street address. Yeah, I don't live there anymore. Okay I'm holding up my birth certificate No, it wasn't that one. Which I show them whichever one you want. It's your picture. It was that one or the other one oh my no it wasn't that one which I showed whichever one you want it's your picture it was that one yeah no no you're just do it just take care of it watch out for the Skittles no I think we
Starting point is 00:36:56 got it yeah got a job yeah Gracie was like so there's so many Gracie I thought I had them all yeah, she wasn't done yet. Yeah It was like oh, I was in college you're two years before you fucking worked here It was like I was going into first year and that oh no I was in first grade I wasn't going into going in the first grade. She was in first grade straight Okay I wasn't going into going in the first grade. She was in first grade straight Okay Did your parents put her in a box and have you open it up and did they were they like Was cinnamon like barking in it and they were like, oh you better open it before the batteries run out wink No, actually crazy went to bed Christmas Eve woke up dark darkness. She was in the box
Starting point is 00:37:44 Grazie went to bed Christmas Eve woke up dark darkness. She was in the box On the porch On the porch yeah Knock on the door open dog That's how cinnamon was born It was awesome Christmas pop I got a dog for Christmas when I was like five or six and that's how I saw my parents Did it it was in the box and stuff? Let's back any who? The Cheesecake Factory hey any day now
Starting point is 00:38:22 We should have grace you on it's been a while You're so pleased with yourself too. I'm just having fun. She's in play mode. The Cheesecake Factory and two janitorial contractors in California have paid one million dollars in connection to a state wage theft investigation. Wage theft is the largest form of theft in the United States. The second largest. The price is on this menu. $24 for rigatoni. Check please.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Someone spotted this out very early on. That they love, like in 100% they love you pantomiming the fact. Because he clearly writes them. And then as I read them he goes... It's... I'm writing it and I'm doing the bit writes I'm writing it and I'm doing the bit and I'm going this is gonna kill it every time like $24 for a rigatoni a check After next time we think about dropping some cheesecake factory money on dinner. Maybe throw this out there we get teleprompter oh
Starting point is 00:39:27 well we have to use pieces of paper oh she went she went wait and then went oh like she figured out what it was and then didn't care right right but we will every week fuck a prom forever that's the show Yeah, yeah What the fuck is this? Hi, I work here now Also, you know, we're talking about I'm making money decisions I don't know how we do this I feel like we need a camera on Nick now You think so? We have this
Starting point is 00:40:14 We should go multi-cam eventually And we just get like a little security camera He looks like he's in time out It cuts to him, it's not even like I don't want it anywhere near the quality of this camera I don't want it to be the quality of this camera. I want it to be the same angle. Little webcam. I want like yeah like a top-down webcam on Nick in the corner.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Like a ring doorbell. Making his freak gestures. You can't. You can just get a ring doorbell and plug it in. And boy is it like we have this beautiful set here shooting. Anything off camera is a mess. Like oh yeah Nick I'm surprised. I mean he's at least got the background behind him. It's cause Nick has his cookies. That's not terrible. He's like in a sea of cables okay cool yeah but from the from the legs up it's pretty good yeah he I will say a point five on the very first episode you gotta see the floor you gotta see his treats
Starting point is 00:40:56 oh absolutely we can see your treats what you know you have them what's that one oh what a treat Treats what you know you have back. What's that one? Oh? What a treat No, I will say to it looks even worse. It really looks like we fuck Nick over because he didn't get one of the nine dollar chairs This isn't how the table is gonna be This is gonna be in the middle. So at the narrow end is flipped over here Yeah, and then we're feeding out Yeah, probably like that and then he'll have the red chair in the corner That's why we made sure to not get the coming chair
Starting point is 00:41:41 But if we got the fifth gummy chair, he'd be sitting comfy. Oh. Real comfy. Nasty. Jack, please. I was gonna say that reminds me of like... I'll have what that chair is having. Ew! Well, forget what I was gonna say
Starting point is 00:42:12 At least we're gonna do better than the third episode right like this is great. Yeah now we're speaking I feel better now we're climaxing I feel I feel better about how quickly I'm gonna be able to get home after this yes No, no, it's not gonna be at six locations. We're not going back to an olive garden What direction? How many blocks would you get? 10? 12? 40? North? South? What are you?
Starting point is 00:42:50 Central Austin? Are you closer to Kyle? Lugerbo? What the fuck? What the fuck? I just want everyone to know where y'all are. WHY?! And what your middle names are! And your middle names are
Starting point is 00:43:14 Walking out 15 minutes of guessing names walking out me going fine me going hey Can you guys stop for a second take this picture having everyone pose for a picture? It's quiet big smiles. Okay cool. Let's go to the car Okay Just sound or a hustle Fucking weird it was so crazy. I love game dude Any game I can get yeah, are you enjoying are you enjoying strands? It is hard yeah, the hints don't really seem to do much for me. Or not the hints, the... I was going to say the hints tell you what the word is.
Starting point is 00:43:50 They don't do much. Oh, the theme, the spangrams. The theme you sometimes got to over... Right. You can either overthink it or... There was one recently that I was like, that doesn't really add up. There are some really mean ones for sure. This is... we have to do... to do, shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Nick, what do you think? I love it, it's fun. You're a big strander. Yeah. I do it, I do it every time, it's just sometimes I struggle. There's a great- Eric gets stranded a lot.
Starting point is 00:44:15 He's on an island, he needs a lifeline. We have to do puzzles and pluffles so it stops here. It's not, that's gonna enable the beat Yeah, also also I've got the word all in two. I got the world on two. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. He's one of us. Yeah Thanks, man Wait, what color pluffles are y'all gonna get? But they make a blue one. I don't think we're all You're not you're not in puzzles and pluffles. I
Starting point is 00:44:41 Absolutely Mean world, I thought it was only me Jordan and Nick. And then you quit! Gracie! What about that? I got laid off. Nick told me that Costco sells pluffles now. Let's go. Well, we got to get a Costco membership. Wait, but are they cheaper? My dad has one. I have one too. Oh great. Oh, I thought your dad had a pluffle both of
Starting point is 00:45:09 my parents have tested out my pluffle our big fans that's different than buying one no but they were both like this is nice mm-hmm they get it but not I'm gonna buy one I'm just saying that's a escalation right to be like oh that thing you got I checked it out it's comfy and like yo let's go get them. Yeah. This episode's gonna be long. You could be, you could be parent-fluffles. Why?
Starting point is 00:45:28 I don't have that little clock anymore. We just ripped through it. It's literally in front of us. It's right there. I put it right there. I haven't been looking in that direction. I haven't been looking in any direction. The camera?
Starting point is 00:45:37 Gracie Flynn. Yeah! You are on thin ice. He's gonna believe it, it's gonna be great. Yeah, I can go Let's learn about the food all right cheesecake Factory triple berry bliss cheesecake you have to explain what this means to me What do you mean think the restos classic creamy cheesecake a layer of fluffy vanilla cake? Three types of berries and a kiss of citrus.
Starting point is 00:46:05 It comes complete with a generous whipped cream garnish, fresh mint, and a rim of white and pink chocolate girls. Why did you laugh? Chocolate girls. I just don't know why it's coming with whipped and rims. What is a resto? Is that a restaurant? I was wondering that too.
Starting point is 00:46:24 It's slang for restaurant? It's the restaurant. Is it restaurant? Yeah dude, you say, whoa, she can factory. RESTAURANT I'm sorry, that one slid in. It's the besto resto? That's awesome! It's going on the bonkers board for that.
Starting point is 00:46:40 That was bonkers. Ain't nothing going on the bonkers board to get a god damn bonkers board. Michael is in charge of the bonkers board. I'm putting it here on the episode. You gotta execute on the bonkers board. Okay, but I asked and then you were like, I don't like that one, but then you said nothing else. So which one?
Starting point is 00:46:54 I mean, I threw out some suggestions. I gave you some direction. You gave me the direction, which is not a bonkers board at all. And it's like the name card thing. Well, okay. We also talked about maybe like- I'm fine also getting that, but that's not the bonkers board. That's a behavioral check
Starting point is 00:47:06 And it's like it's like little packets with our name and these slide a card either green yellow orange or red Based on how you're on how bonkers you are right, but that that's fine It can combine with the bonkers board, but then there's got to be space for just written explanations Yeah, why are you bonkers? Okay? I think white board Just write Gracie middle names. Yeah. Why? Yeah. Like that's pretty bonkers. Right there? Bonkers. That's gotta be more than bonkers. Clankin' like crazy. Yeah, clankin' fabulous. Dude, everybody was clankin'. Don't put fabulous on there. Well, this guy was clankin'. He was clankin'. She was clankin'. Yeah. I was trying. We were clank free. I was free. I wouldn't say I was clank free.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Well we were. I didn't clank a single time. I bet you clanked. I didn't clank a single time. I put forks and knives down. It's impossible to not clank. This is also like the conversation where she said she could make whatever the fuck she was talking about last time at home. And then looked it up and was like, oh I can't do this at all. What was it? Oh the first one. It was the breadstick. She's like I make everything, I know this, I know that. I can make them.
Starting point is 00:48:11 And then you went you know there's no eggs in it right how do you make that without eggs and she went oh fuck. What? This is the same thing. It's the same thing. I think you clanked based on what? I don't even remember. I bet you did. You didn't clank you you loaded all your pasta in and then you fucking punched the top to make sure it was sealed. That's what you did. And then Jordan at one point went... An intentional clank.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I don't count that either. No. But that was after everybody was going nuts. Everyone was clanking. What do you expect people to do in a restaurant? Just not be smashing plates together. Stop clanking. No one was smashing, but we had 95 plates on the table.
Starting point is 00:48:41 That's when you be careful. Yeah, I agree. That's when you go ape shit. What do you expect people to do in a restaurant? Just not be smashing plates together. No one was smashing, but we had 95 plates on the table. That's when you be careful. Yeah, I agree. That's when you go ape shit. That's the difference between Michael and Grace. Exactly. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about, hello handsome? Ugh, who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not.
Starting point is 00:49:24 With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Need a great reason to get up in the morning? Well, what about two? Right now, get a small organic Fairtrade coffee and a tasty bacon and egg or breakfast sandwich for only $5 at A&W's in Ontario. Quote, The Cheesecake Factory is very pleased to commemorate National Cheesecake Day by introducing our Triple Berry Bliss Cheesecake Supporting Feeding America, said David Overton, founder and CEO of the Cheesecake Factory, Inc. Additionally, we are happy to provide our cheesecake rewards members Cheesecake rewards capitalized members not capitalized with a special dining offer and
Starting point is 00:50:15 exclusive cake merch offer on July 29th and July 30th Cake merch offer I remember two days was the day! A cake merch offer! Only for two days! What was the offer? It's cake merch! Merch! And Gracie kept telling us how she's a member! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a free cheesecake last time I was there.
Starting point is 00:50:38 You got free everything today! Did they tell you about the cake merch as a member? Did you get a tip? No, this was a long time ago. This was a long time ago. The merch wasn't on the table yet. When you're like 11, a month is a really long time. A year and a half ago was recent.
Starting point is 00:50:56 When I think of something and it was like April last year, it's like oh, it wasn't that long. Do you need water? Are you good? Was that yes, you're good my god. Do you need water? Are you good? Was that yes, you're good or yes, you need water Okay, well while she's doing that we have our specific feelings about the cheesecake factory She's clinking off camera when we get the N for Nick, now we need one for the other room.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Just in case something exciting happens out there. Because now I want to see it. I want like some ten frame image. Black and white. Like a bigfoot. I choked on my own saliva. I do hate when that happens. Also, your Stanley Cup is so big.
Starting point is 00:51:44 It's fucking huge. It's in my head. It's a bigger than your head. Do you have the little charms and attachments for it when you go out? Mm-mm. Wait, when I go out? Like people take these out?
Starting point is 00:51:55 On TikTok? Who did? On TikTok. You're holding it right now! I thought you meant like go out, go out. TikTok people will be like, wait a minute, get ready with me to go on a walk walk Are you telling me people fucking leave the house with this thing? I thought he had
Starting point is 00:52:08 Oh he already needs a drink He's joking He's tired He's tired He's tired He's tired He's tired He's tired
Starting point is 00:52:24 Okay back to this We have I can't explain what I was going to say without it getting revealed. Okay, so you wanted to know if I have charms. There's like little attachments that people have, like a fucking like little tiny cup that also clips on to the handle. Why do you need a cup on your cup? You don't. That's why they're just charms. Yeah, that's why it's dumb. It's like the croc accessory thing. Yeah a gibbet Yeah, it's something like that. Yeah Yeah, or is that no not that giblets The whole thing that spawned this conversation. Jiblets.
Starting point is 00:53:10 You said gibets. What comes out of the turkey? Jiblets! Third base! Everybody say giblets. They went around. Well, we have our own opinions about Cheesecake Factory, but here we have a segment where you let us know what you think, the segment we call You Review!
Starting point is 00:53:31 These are one-star reviews of... No, they're not. ...Cheesecake Factory. So who wants to read the first one? I think Gracie should read the first one. Gracie, read the first one. Read the first one-star review. And who's it from?
Starting point is 00:53:44 Delane W. Who gave it? Three stars read it. I should have looked at the reviews before going my steak was horrible and and three shrimp on 20 Just read it like it was horrible and three shrimp on a Steak and shrimp plate $15 call drink host hostesses, dot dot ellipses. Terrible, should have gone to McDonald's, at least you know what you'll get, ellipses. Go anywhere and get a better meal
Starting point is 00:54:14 and not spend $150 on two people, ellipses. He starts it by saying three stars. He wrote three stars. But it rated it one star. He rated it one star. Yeah. But did he give wrote three stars, but it rated it one star. Yeah Did you give it three stars? Did you read what was written well I did I struggled through $15 call drink. $15 call drink. Hostesses.
Starting point is 00:54:46 What do you mean by that? Now you're starting to get you review, Gracie. I remember struggling last time too. Oh, it's because you're reading yourself in the mind of the reviewer. Which is incredibly difficult. I'll do this one. I see a lot of capitalization on the last one. Who you got?
Starting point is 00:55:04 This is Roshaka B. I called in my order, the phone was answered, and I was placed on hold. During my hold period, I drive to the restaurant. What? What? As I walked in, the phone rang, and the order was taken immediately without an issue. I was next in line, I placed my order while still on hold.
Starting point is 00:55:22 The restaurant and staff were not busy I need to compose myself after I placed and paid for my order my call was answered 20 minutes later I explained this to the staff and manager I was told sorry they did not seem to care or concerned I was told the process by the manager and their process failed miserably However, I am not paid to fix it, but the lack of concern says that this is a known issue I I I get to the point where I explain this to the staff and manager. I was told what the fuck is wrong I'm gonna test this Hang on Yeah I'd like to place an order
Starting point is 00:56:08 What kind of insane behavior? Psychopath They think they're about to pull up the most ultimate gotcha What happens? I was just waiting for them to be like Hello thank you for calling the San Antonio Cheesecake Factory headquarters Yeah that's something Eric would do what happens? That's true only happen once Then you got anyone a car accident yeah because of his mix-up I did mm-hmm that wouldn't have happened if you didn't do that
Starting point is 00:56:39 What happens if he gets in his car he's still on hold and he's driving there He's like oh, I'm gonna get him. But they answer two minutes into his drive, and they go, hi, okay, yeah, sorry about that, wait, what can I help you with? He's just pleased. Yeah, right? I don't think so. I see what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:56:52 I know. He's gonna be more mad because his plan is now derailed. I know, that just, that, I wouldn't say it escalated, it shocked me that it was, I was on the phone, it was taking forever. Anyway, I'm driving there, and I went, I'm sorry. I'm already on my phone. It was taking forever anyway. I'm driving there It wasn't even a build-up like usually there's like it was so stupid I had to get in my car and drive it was like that was part of the plan yep
Starting point is 00:57:15 That's the confusing part It's not as smarmy as I would think from a person who would do this like the way It's written is not smarmy, but the action is the action sure is because it seems like just someone's real weight to pull like yeah to be like mmm and you have failed my test miserably yeah but but then it kind of you get kind of that with the end however I'm not paid to fix it yeah of course um no shit yeah I got through this whole review and I thought you were getting paid to fix it. I thought this guy was the guy who was supposed to fix this whole review and I thought you were getting paid to fix it. I thought this guy was the guy who was supposed to fix this fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I thought you were doing them a favor. Alright. Last one! Last one from Corey M. Let me first start by saying my wife and I will travel far and wide for a good brunch. Why'd you go to Cheesecake Factory then? So we were really excited to learn that the Cheesecake Factory offered brunch on Saturday and Sunday like any restaurant that has 495 things on the menu. You can get brunch for dinner.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Jordan, we went there with smiles on our face. The server, Kayla, offered us fresh squeezed orange juice and we were like, oh yeah! I love fresh OJ! Then Kayla came back and took our order and said they were still squeezing our juice. Then our food came. Still no orange juice. We ate our food and thought it'll be any second. Dot dot dot. Nope. Orange juice never came. We asked to speak with a manager and the manager proceeded to tell us that the kitchen makes the orange, and sometimes they get backed up. Keep in mind, this was brunch.
Starting point is 00:58:51 There wasn't even a line yet. The manager did nothing except put a nice period on the end of unpleasant experience. We had a great time and you didn't go, oh, excuse me, I didn't get my orange juice. Like one time. Oh yeah! We were so excited.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Oh, the food came out so fast. It was so good. We were loving it. But we were thinking, I'm awfully thirsty. I'm not gonna ask the waiter about it or inquire anything. I'll ask to speak to the manager directly for my orange juice. I'm interested in what goes into the kitchen
Starting point is 00:59:24 making an orange. Yeah, no, I don't know They grow them. Yeah Like makes the orange. Yeah, they're in the back. They look like shit The guys like he's squeezing a hundred of them go Why do we do this of all the like fuck-ups of like waiters and wait staff? Yeah, like going at a restaurant over the easiest thing ever is when they forget like a drink or a condiment Yeah, whatever you know what I mean, like even if it they forgot or they're just like shitty or whatever, the easiest thing ever is when they forget like a drink or a condiment or whatever. You know what I mean? Like even if they forgot or they're just like shitty or whatever, but like they fuck up your food
Starting point is 00:59:50 It's like fuck this thing forever. You get it like hey, I just like I haven't got my drink yet. That's like a two second fix. Yes. And like maybe they tried it and just didn't say that. Mm-hmm. But it seemed like again when it went to we were thinking it'll be any second now, but we didn't ask or remind them That's just weird Jordan. Are we boring you? I'm trying to get ahead trying to get ahead dude. I fall behind your puzzles Yeah, I'm preparing a future segment of the show Thank You Gracie. We're gonna make oranges.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Jordan's like, make oranges? Well that's just like the guys in the kitchen. I looked at the clock, which is right there by the way. And it said about 55 minutes, I was like, I need to get a fanshan. Yes you do! But before we get to that, we're gonna pick up some more Skittles. I have no idea what you're mouthing to me right now You can just say it to me He didn't do it on the last one either that you were on
Starting point is 01:00:51 She was way too high on Olive Garden that day. I don't know Well you were I've retired I've retired from the high quality calling it that She got serious again call you what Okay, so it's hiding behind the fact yeah So we went and you gripping it like and we are So we went and we are We went and we're reviewing We're reviewing the triple berry bliss. Oh you forgot how good it felt Why did you comb your hair with it because it looks like a little comb?
Starting point is 01:01:40 It's a fucking comb. I said the exact same thing It's a fucking comb. I said the exact same thing It's a little comfort little hairs as a first thing hairs as a first thing I said I'm with you on that one. Yeah Her hair great you don't need to worry about it. You won't have to worry about a comb soon yeah it's just grayer than ever do you diet no yeah yeah after after the knot and it's all why you were gonna go bald I implied you'd be dead No need for a toad! Shhh!
Starting point is 01:02:24 It looks, it's quite cool. I don't know why, but this is the last straw. Brush this! Holy fuck. No, it's going to hit the detonate button. We're all done for. My mom, you're going down with me! His last, his last act of malice.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Oh my god. Oh my god. oh my god oh so um we had food it was all pretty good triple berry bliss but you got yeah yeah they were good uh I don't have to write those I can not write all the things we shared um I did not like the avocado egg rolls Based on the amount of dissent I got from my opinion. I thought the whole table was against me Yeah, I didn't touch them I didn't pick one up I just fair enough. Yeah, so I mean they weren't good Yeah, there were other things on the table the mac and cheese by it's fucking awesome They were so fucking big yeah, I dare I say I think they used to be bigger
Starting point is 01:03:43 If you want to accuse them like You might have just been like smaller. I remember I used to be able to look over it. Also, did the tables get shorter? Yeah, I'd have to reach up and grab it. That's crazy. I've never had them before. You've never had those? They're like almost the size of a baseball
Starting point is 01:04:06 Baseball size yeah Yep, that when like hail starts like coming and they're they're gonna say beware of Cheesecake Factory Size tail that's why but that's why both his cars got fucking total So the triple berry bliss cheesecake though, what did you think of that? That was also great. I only wanted to have one bite because we ate a lot of food.
Starting point is 01:04:32 But that came out and I was like, I think I had like three or four bites of it. Yeah, oh, it's fucking good. The one berry that's like, just like the gel spread or whatever, because there's other forms of berry in it. The one that's like a jam was like the gel spread or whatever, because there's other forms of berry in it. The one that's like a jam was like the best one, like the most flavorful.
Starting point is 01:04:50 But I thought there were like layers of flavor and they all complimented each other well. It was like very interestingly complex. It was complex. For a cheesecake factory cheesecake. But the top layer of icing was thick. It looked like cream or whatever. It was pretty dense.
Starting point is 01:05:03 It looked like meat. It was like, it did look like meat. It looked like cream or whatever it was. It was pretty dense. It did look like meat. Just like from the side of it, it looked like they were baked like a mullet. Like a marble. Yeah, canned ham. It didn't taste like meat. No. But it looked like meat. It was weird. Little weird looking, but very delicious. How do you make something like this?
Starting point is 01:05:20 Someone, someone... Hang on, Jordan. Yeah, I'll hold. I think he used a 3D printer, right? I hang yeah, I'll hold I think he used a pretty printer right? I'm driving. I'm driving Put in my rating before I'm put off hold Driving right Sorry hey, can we take your score? Oh sure. Yeah, hold on I'm gonna give it I'm gonna give it a very surprising. Mm-hmm even for me
Starting point is 01:05:53 82 Wow 82% Just on the cake or the pipe just the cake just the cake pie, you know, you know the classic You know the pie cake the cheese pie cheese pie factory The cheesecake, and the appetizers. Yes. The pie cake cake? Pie? Which is it? Fucking cares.
Starting point is 01:06:20 Like that's what she tunes back into. Like that's what she tunes back into. You know what I mean? Like... Hey, so how do you think... How do you think... How do they get a ship in a bottle? He's just starting... She's literally making the noise, dude.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Straight up the teacher going, Am I boring you? She's just like, fuck, I already ate the food, you're gonna leave? Oh my god. Michael, what do you think? Dude, I can't believe we're rating it on just that one dessert. I mean, it was fine. You can rate the whole experience if you like, but it really is bad.
Starting point is 01:06:57 The experience was stellar. Fabulous, it was fabulous. I mean, he was a great server, by the way. Everything was good. He, all the fuckery was us. What I really liked about this space was we had an almost entirely circular booth. We got like the Sopranos table like
Starting point is 01:07:10 PF Chang's. But what was awesome is usually you can like see over the headrest. It was all lined with mirrors and so I didn't have to look at anyone else in the restaurant. That was awesome. I loved that. Like I could hear people, but even though we were in the middle of a big open room
Starting point is 01:07:25 I couldn't see anyone It's not a thing I've ever thought about like I can't stand looking at the back of that guy's head But having experienced not doing that that's only how I want to dine from now on I just don't want to look at anyone. No private dining only it was like It was like a faux private din, it was like faux private dining. It was awesome. Self isolation is the dining. I sat in that booth last time I went there.
Starting point is 01:07:49 I liked it. On your birthday? No, I've been back since. Yeah. Jordan? As I go, I go there a lot. They know me by name. They don't, but.
Starting point is 01:07:58 How many times have you gotten fabulous as your waiter? Never, I don't go to that. That one? The other one. She's in that booth. She said, no, but that booth go to that one the other one boo hey no but that was in the other location that was style not that specific yeah sorry that style god right you would have that one's on me you would have understood that if you weren't on your phone sorry you're still on hold yeah oh did a great experience I could eat I could eat
Starting point is 01:08:23 six of those macaroni bites things. People call them macaroni bites. They're not bites. No. It's like macaroni ball. Boulders. Yeah. It really is like a tennis ball. It was pretty good.
Starting point is 01:08:34 I, again though, I find myself not thinking I would ever go there under a normal human circumstance. Right. And not as a circus troupe. Even as good. Because it's just such a to-do for like food that's good. It's not amazing. It's also pretty expensive. And I hated everything about it once we stood up from the booth.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Yes. And I was back in the restaurant. But today alone, I'd give it a 90 experience. Yeah. Wow. Good job, Cheesecake Factory. 86 average score. Good job, Cheesecake Factory. You did it. 86 average score. Good job, Cheesecake Factory.
Starting point is 01:09:06 You did it. What do you think of that, Gracie? You can get it later. Could you quit it? Why are you still eating those? They've been there forever. No, I just picked them all up. Then why do you care?
Starting point is 01:09:15 Because I picked them all up. Gracie, if you had to rate it, what would you rate it? 98. All right. 98%. Why? That's absurd. No, I love it there. Everything about it? That's absurd. No, I love it there. Everything about it.
Starting point is 01:09:28 I love that they all look the exact same. And the decoration. You can never tell. You go in and you can't tell where you are. You know exactly where you're getting into. I don't know which location I'm in right now. Have I been in this booth before? I'm in Rome, Egypt! Fakely Rome, Egypt. I know I'm in a cheesecake factory.
Starting point is 01:09:44 I'm in a casino! Wait, speaking of. They do have that casino feel to them. Also, did anyone smell gas when they walked in? No. Like a gas leak? In the vestibule at the cheesecake factory. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 01:09:58 And then it went away so I became less concerned. Someone said that the cheesecake was worldwide? Is that true? Mr. Worldwide? Yeah, that's? Mr. Worldwide? Yeah that's Pitbull, Dolly Yes, they are worldwide where where is an international chain where else that that's why they're so like I think maybe the UK Saudi Arabia, I think maybe Canada They're in like weird. I thought it was I don't know why I thought it was only an American thing
Starting point is 01:10:28 No, I think Cheesecake Factory is an international brand, okay? Casually and awkwardly brings an hour and six minutes in Why I forgot about it Awesome Jordan do we have a hundred percent time shout out that was awesome we do, but I'm still on hold Who are you this is from buggy 52 aka Neil Neil has a hammering. Oh, okay, and it goes like this She's leaning back checked out Jordan. She's like not with the microphone. She's literally Like I know when I do that it's on purpose. It's not on purpose. I'm sorry. She hasn't done it for a couple of
Starting point is 01:11:26 We gotta get Mike we gotta get like stationary mics. Oh yeah, that's the problem. That's the problem! I used to be confined to my little space. It's also making me nervous that she's holding the mic from the plug. Wait, I've always done that. Alright, cool.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Like the time we had couch time for the episode. Hey, here's Neil's hammering. Oh, Neil, go ahead. I would like to hammer my wife for her propensity to remove the skin from McDonald's nuggets, like the psychotic person she has proven to be. I love you, dear, but this is simply psychotic behavior. Heart emoji.
Starting point is 01:11:58 She throws them away? I don't know if she's not eating them or saving them for later. I don't know which one's worse. Because he said them for later. I don't know which one's worse. Because he said remove, not like eating, eating scraps. Yes, right. That's the best part. That's the only part. That's the good crispy part.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Otherwise, you're getting like the worst white meat chicken ever. Are you looking at the skinless chicken? That is sick. Ew, gross. Yeah, nasty. That's what it looks like. Wait, is this Neil's photo? How my fiance eats McN Neil's photo I mean probably
Starting point is 01:12:29 Buggy 52 on reddit. Yeah She opened read it and went it's from It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it mattered if it was buggy and it could have been it could have been let her It's from her a chance. It's from her a chance It's from a stranger Neil We don't know him Neil. Thank you for your support. You can support us at a patreon.com 200% eat that's wild eat the fucking chickens in or don't get the chicken. I feel like I feel like that should be a food court That's a hundred percent similar to Chris Chris Castellanos and his wife
Starting point is 01:13:02 That's a hundred percent. Similar to Chris Castellanos and his wife. I want to know more. You people are starting to get named. When you're coming in with crazy. Takes this crazy. Crazy. Fucking crazy. But you can support us at Patreon.com slash 100% eat. You can also.
Starting point is 01:13:18 We got overhead now. We got a roof over our heads and overhead. And we have to pay for Gracie to eat sometimes and that turns out to be expensive Taking a guess at the bill 260 bucks $150 on two people for Delaine you can only imagine three stars
Starting point is 01:13:44 You can go to store dot 100%eat.com for merch. You can now. Does that work? Yes, it does. I fixed it. Just don't type in HTTPS. No. Just HTTP is fine.
Starting point is 01:13:57 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We have some new merch that we're working on. Yeah, we've been kicking around ideas. Yeah, I think we have some really cool stuff coming out that I'm really excited about. You can listen to this week's Michael Jordan podcast if you're a Grackle or above at patreon.com slash 100% eat, follow at 100% eat on Twitter and Instagram,
Starting point is 01:14:16 see if they eat on everything. This Saturday, we'll have our first 100% treat video from stuff that got sent to us at our P.O. Box. And you can send more to our P.O. Box. We thought it was all gonna be snacks, and it turned out to be so much more. It's mostly dogs and hats. Yeah, that's not wrong.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Which is why we can't call it snack attack anymore. You can go to P.O. Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714. Almost had it really well all the way through. Send your things to P.O. Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714. It's like I can see the like little thought bubble come out of her head and it's just like a hamster like running on a wheel and she just focuses on something.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Like right after I pointed out her eating the dog, I looked over and she just focuses on the go like right after I pointed out her, I looked over and she was just rolling the microphone into the monkey's face. Why are you doing like little sound? Why does that have to be sex? Why does that have to be into the mic? And then you started reading the PO box and I guess you messing it up got her attention
Starting point is 01:15:21 and she just went down and started like reading it like. It's like a kid waiting for leave the table got her attention and she just went down and started like reading it like That they finished their food 30 minutes ago and like you gotta wait But if you don't subscribe to that one you're a sucker but sucker. But two, thank you for being on, Gracie. Thank you, Gracie. Because then they won't see you on there. Oh yeah, you guys won't. You should pay for it.
Starting point is 01:15:50 You should pay a little more. You gotta pay a little more to get your extra dose of Gracie. Gracie unfiltered. She's, okay, please. You don't want that. Yeah, this has been filtered. Honestly, it's just gonna be us leaving
Starting point is 01:16:03 and Gracie just 30 minutes. Yeah, let me get in the middle. You can get in the middle. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right there. That's totally fine with me. Yeah, absolutely. Let's put you and Nick in the middle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Harrison, I'm fine with that. Put me in the cup chair. Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. I just learned what that is yesterday. Jesus Christ. Okay. Rate, subscribe, tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Goodbye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:16:41 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Bye. Bye.

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