100% Eat - Graysie's Return %% Olive Garden Garfield's Favorites

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Our Heroes, like the classic Garfields they are, take on Olive Garden but must enlist the help of their resident Nermal, the return Graysie, to really get to the bottom of this menu. Do they all get the lasagna? Why is Graysie mad about spaghetti? Is this chocolate lasagna just cake? A lot is going on in this one and you can see it all in a new set up for our video version of the show on youtube. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey, transforming into Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, nearest green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at TNVacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. The aspa was ready and I said no and they pushed it anyway. Welcome to 100% Eat, the

show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it You probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my coach Jordan swears Jordan, how are you? I'm feeling like family tonight. Whoa We're all back together Speaking of family, we went to all of if you want to just hang out you can just hop on one of the couches dude You're going to change sit on the couch in his studio? In his studio space?

Yeah, yeah. I didn't want him to feel obligated. He's like, I'm going to sit behind the camera. It's like, no, just hang out, dude. You're good. No, he can be. In his space. Why are you feeling like family?

Because we went to Olive Garden. Yay! Woo! That's what it was. It looked familiar. Yeah. It tasted familiar, too. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, Gracie's back. Hi. Well, Gracie's here. She's not back What do you mean from the dead back? Yeah, right a light you're gonna get people excited like oh she's back on the show. He's back. Yeah She's just came after work. Yeah. Yeah, that's why we need to work and it's fucking what time do you walk at night? We're doing a night episode dude We're doing a night episode in this dude

Look at me this piece of shit wants us to do a Michael Jordan podcast after this yeah I can't believe I hope I get home at 11. Dude. I can't believe he would do that right is wrong crazy I also can't believe it was Drop this gotta drive This again tomorrow. Oh right. Yeah. We can drink that. We are so far from where any of us live.

It's easy because we're so early in this show, in 100% Eat. This is the most pissed I've ever been. There's not a lot to compare it to. I know it's right now. We were eating at Olive Garden and I just kept going going dude. We're not even done with the fucking food Yeah, Michael would look at his phone and then put his head in his hands and he would just go we haven't ordered We haven't ordered dude that guy was like do you need a minute and he fucked off for a half an hour He was gone for a long time fucking I will say that was strange though because he did show up

Relatively early on in our sitting down at the table time. Yeah, I agree. And he said this in a very foreboding way where it was like, would you like to order food now? Uh-huh. On your appetizers? And it's like, we just sat down. Yeah, he really, he unloaded all of it. Yeah. Immediately.

He did. And we're like, no, we're not ready. But it was the way he said it was like, if we say no, is something bad gonna happen? And the bad he said it was like what if we say no is something bad gonna happen And the bad thing that happened was yeah Back yeah, he was real quick at those waters Yeah, and then he was gone, and then they turned off the lights, and then they turn the lights back Somebody's birthday they had to do the life. I was a Sam is that what it was yes

Is that why they turned on the lights is yes? I said that I didn't realize I? Was watching guys that as a joke, but then the lights came back birthday? I said that. Oh, I didn't realize. Really? I said that as a joke. I was watching Garfield on the screen. I said that as a joke, but then the lights came back on. I went, oh my god, it was for the birthday. Oh. They didn't light the lights. We should have celebrated Eric's birthday.

We should not have. And seen if they turned the lights down. Now, I'm fine with us not celebrating my birthday. It's just fine. OK, we can do mine. It's good. We celebrated Garfield. Ugh.

What? Only we celebrated Garfield. Yeah. Yeah, first of all. That is true. Me and Gracie celebrated Garfield. You two are the only ones who celebrated Garfield. Ugh. What? Only we celebrated Garfield. Yeah. That is true, me and Gracie celebrated Garfield. You two are the only ones who celebrated Garfield. Well, we're the classic Garfields of 100% heat. Did you have fun with it? Did I have fun with Garfield?

Dude, Gracie was having fun with Garfield. Gracie knew everything about the promotion that was going on. I did. She was like, Garfield likes this one. Yeah, he said, I always start with this app. And don't even get her fucking started on spaghetti and meatballs you're not allowed to order it he can I just know I mean I what what about I didn't think that's what we were going there for I mean it's and then what

pasta did you say was like man what was it oh it was lasagna you're you're out of your mind this just happened you're you're out of your mind this just happened you're you're talking about the conversation and then like what'd you say again and it's the reason why we're talking do you see what I know when I don't make her take notes right locked in we're there to eat the lasagna what were you talking about I was like I'm not really that big a fan of lasagna she's like what do you like I'm not really that big a fan of lasagna. She's like, what do you like? I'm like, I don't know. Spaghetti, spaghetti.

I go, I want spaghetti. She's like, spaghetti, what the fuck? Objectively worse. That's so basic. You said, oh, lasagna is so basic. No, I didn't. I definitely did not use the word so basic, Gracie. I don't know, that's a classic Michael term.

Maybe you can get away with your friends when it's like, no, you said that. Remember when we sat down and went, lasagna, so basic. Remember that? I said, I don't even like lasagna that much. And she's like, what's better? I went spaghetti. And she's like, spaghetti, that's so basic.

And I went and I said, yeah, like a Big Mac at McDonald's. That's kind of- Oh, I did not even hear the Big Mac call it. That's the reason why it's so fucking popular. But then she, it seemed like she was going to start listing pastas that were better. And she went, what about gnocchi? Yeah.

She goes, where's our gnocchi? Where's our gnocchi? I'm like, gnocchi's good. They have that. Hey! Hey! I was like. And then it turned into Gracie upselling us all.

Like, pastas. It's just like, what are you getting? What are you getting? I was like... And then it turned into Gracie upselling us all like... It's just like, what are you getting? What are you getting? I ended up getting chicken marsala, which is what I got me a chicken marsala. All it goes around, Nick, what are you getting? Spaghetti and meatballs. And Gracie was like, what the fuck? I didn't even say anything.

I just went... She made a fucking face, dude. It was good being back. It really was. It really did feel like we were family again. I agree. America's favorite family. I did eat like four or five breadsticks.

I ate four. I ate a lot. You also immediately made the order and you went, hey, can we get the bottomless dipping sauces also? He was like, hell yeah, he brought them. Brought the Alfredo around. And then we started eating them. And it was like, oh like a refill on these and breadsticks and Gracie went huh? They're bottomless not only that I

It was all ordered yes, and then they for some reason also he took fucking forever to give us the breadsticks Yes, I would come out right away. I'm waiting it it came out with the salad which is kind of crazy mm-hmm fucked up But as we all ordered finally He was leaving. I almost looked around like I can't believe nobody meaning Gracie Nick ordered the fucking The bread it's like a whole page. Yeah, and I went like it's like It's like oh, can we get the breadsticks off and she was like what? Just like when I ordered it. I was like I'd be honest. I thought you were gonna order it What just like when I ordered it I was like I'd be honest. I thought you were gonna order it This and I one of them. I don't know who one of them went. I didn't know. Yeah, I'm okay

I was just like then then when it ran out he replaced it and she yelled Like I'm like, yeah the bottomless breadstick sauce We're starting to pick up that grace they have that Only picks up what I need what I need to know. Meanwhile she's looking at Eric at Rosentable squinting at him like- WHAT? What's wrong with your eyes? Not much, it was just you were holding it really far and it was really small.

I don't know what you're saying. Also, also, none of us had anything to drink, if you're wondering. It was not a single drop of alcohol. That was just saying, I'm already losing my mind right now. Because I'm old, and it's 8 o'clock at night, and we just ate Olive Garden. There's about 55 beer bars next to us if you want. We might as well be drunk.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm just clarifying now. I feel drunk on the bed. They hit that sugar wine. Yeah, nope. I had four cups of water. Honestly, it was all the sodium that probably did us in. It was salty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those breadsticks though, fuck me. Delicious. God damn, with the bottom, I've never done the bottomless sauce. I understood that it was bottomless as soon as you ordered it and you said, can I get the bottomless? Bottomless? Fuck, I didn't know!

I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know! It was so good, dipping that fucking shit in that sauce. I will say too, immediately, cause you get a free one, you get a free dip and then you bite and you gotta figure it out and there's a spoon. As soon as it landed, Gracie went, I'm not double dipping! Yeah, I mean, exclaiming to the table.

Just clarifying. It was like, honestly, it was like, that one could just be yours. There's also a moment where we got the second one, and there was still a little bit of sauce. And it got moved over closer to Nick, and I go, there's still some meat in that bone, Nick. And then he reached for a breadstick and said, I'm going for this bone. Yeah, he did. He did, dude.

We didn't even, we're not even gonna get to this. Also, the fucking mozzarella marinara. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, I wanna, I keep calling them mozzarella. They don't call them mozzarella. I say, I call them mozzarella marinara. They're fancy. I just keep going, I forgot the mozzarella. So then I ordered them after the food. I flagged the guy down. I was like, I ordered,

because I was saying it and then I forgot. Like, shit, I forgot. And Gracie goes, did you order it? I'm like, no, I forgot. She's like, fuck, I wanted one. Uh-huh. And I'm like, I know, I know. So anyway,, I forgot. And Gracie goes, do you want to order it? I'm like, no, I forgot. And she's like, fuck, I wanted one. Uh-huh. And I'm like, I know, I know. So anyway, I ordered it. I have one. Do you still want one?

Do you still want one? Yeah. Did you ever eat the last one? No, you took it. You literally carried it out. You picked it up and held it. Remember? Oh, this one?

Yeah, that one. Yes. Yes, the one in your hand. Show the camera. Yes, the one in your hand. I was just like, I was the wrong person to ask if I ate it. I watched you take it. I made a joke. I said, eat it. Take it I was the wrong person to ask if I ate it. I watched you take it. I made a joke.

I said, eat it. Take it. And she went, well, I'll take it. And then picked it up. So I've been holding this for like over 30 minutes. You're fucking deranged. My hand is so greasy. So I mean, if no one's going to eat it, Shane,

do you want a mozzarella stick? No, it's a mozzarella marinara. Oh, sorry. There's no marinara. It's only been in Gracie's hand for about 45 minutes. Was it in your hand the entire time we did the ride along yeah, that's way more than 30 minutes by the way It's been like 45 minutes to an hour since we left that restaurant It wasn't until we sat down here where I was like, I don't think this joke was worth it

Oh, I agree. It was fun here in the parking lot. We'll do it. Gracie and I were worth it I mean involved in you just holding it and even going to me on what happened to it and the joke I watched you pick it up Crazy just kept showing me in the park She opened her head No way! You were like, come over here, come over here, don't come over here. Like, like. And check this out. In the picture we took out. He did! Oh, right. She, she opened her hand. Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome!

That's so good, that's so worth it. I looked over. She jumped the gun on you, that's the way funnier part. I ordered, I ordered, the fucking Monster Home Marinara comes out. And as Gracie being Gracie, she was the first one I offered to. She offered her. I picked up the blade and I, and I put the plate in front of her, offered it to him like, would you like one?

She's like, yeah. And then takes the plate. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, well, let me see if anybody else wants one. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I mean, I was going to get, or no. She goes, am only I getting one? Oh, am I the only one who gets one?

Am I the only one who gets one? Yeah. You're not going to offer it to anyone else? Like, what are you talking about? Like, I have to start somewhere. And to anyone else. What are you talking about? Somewhere I'm like, why are you taking the plate? So I'm gonna pass it around What's going on? There was one left there was one left and before our dinner came out I kept saying eat it

Oh, I was like no and I kept pushing the plate closer closer So Michael kept going and going I'm pushing the plate closer. Oh, that's what you're whispering about. Yeah, it was about you. I know, I knew. I know you knew. It didn't matter. I know that you knew, but I knew that I would tell you it wasn't about you anyway, and you were like,

oh, maybe it isn't, I don't know. And I just kept going, I'm just like, close. I was pretty sure it was. Yeah, but you weren't positive. Because you looked at me right before you did it, and then you went. Yeah, but you weren't positive, but I always do that. Yep.

Whether I'm talking about you or not. As we left. Michael knows what he's doing. Oh yeah. As we walked out, there was one more on the plate and Michael just went. It was the same one. He just went, take it. It's that one.

Take it, Gracie. Oh, I know. And he just kept going, take it, take it. And you reached down and grabbed it and gave him such a look. I don't know if you even realized you did it. I don't think I did. It was, it was snag. And then we just walked.

Well, you also you also didn't. Gracie immediately started doing jokes with you. You were talking about needing needing forks. Yes. Gracie's like, I'd like a fork. Yeah. Literally, you're like, we need a fork because you got the to go thing.

And I went and I went to tell Gracie to take a fork off the table. Still some forks too. A napkin. Okay. Yeah, just use the paper. Oh, there you go. I mean, he is giving you a napkin you're not using. Well, you gotta, you gotta work for it. You gotta open it.

He didn't want to unwrap it for you. Oh, yeah. Is it from the grease? You didn't even have, you didn't even have to be holding it. You don't like that one's gonna eat it. You literally could have put on the floor of the car Gracie was polite she has can I Hold this in the car

And I said just as long as you hold it If I had done that I would have been very gentle, but I would have not told Jordan and put it on the floor. I would have put it on the floor and then I would have picked it up and never noticed. I would have been none the wiser. Until I watched the ride along back and be like, what's Michael Keane doing? You fucking held it the entire time. No sense. It was not necessary at all. We haven't gotten into anything yet, by the way.

Or what are we eating? We got to Garfield's and Olive Garden's. Olive Garden, Garfield's favorite. Garfield's favorite's the cat. Chris Pratt cat. Not the way. Well what are we eating? We got to Garfield's and Olive Garden's Olive Garden, Garfield's favorite. Garfield's favorite's the cat, Chris Pratt cat. Not the president. I accidentally just burped into something. I don't know. Is it an accident?

I think she just wanted to be- I think it was an intentional- She wanted to make sure it was on mic, you know? It might not have picked it up, my mouth. So what do you guys think about Olive Garden sort of as like, just a concept of, it's not a place that we all eat right? Like it's a shitty Carrabbas. Carrabbas is better in every way.

Ooh I love Carrabbas. Carrabbas is actually good. Really good. They are good. We were saying- I've never been to a Carrabbas. What? Really?

Is it actually better? It's better than Olive Garden by far. Yeah. Shut up! Not tomorrow. Shut up! Yeah. People have already voted on what we're doing.

It's like Olive Garden, but if they always had the lights off. Oh. You know when it gets classy and dim? Like where you actually dress up. Yeah. And like it's not someone's birthday. It's just dim Garden, but if they always had the lights off. You know when it gets classy and dim? Like where you actually dress up. And it's not someone's birthday, it's just dim lighting. Right. It's not the illusion. Marcela, actually good.

No way. You didn't like yours tonight? Well, we don't know yet. I bet you liked them. It's true. We don't know. We don't know the percentage yet. Did you try any of Garfield's favorites?

Yeah, yeah. I was eating his. He was giving me food. Okay, good. Yeah, it's true. So when you go to to carabas, do you like wear or you dress more like Jordan? Is it like putting on like a collar shirt or does it not color shirt? I mean, I I'm kind of there now at this point in my life. Mm-hmm So no my casual wear is kind of carabas appropriate. Oh, okay, if I was like Not according to grace a 20 year old slob. I put on a nice shirt

Okay Like, not according to Gracie. What's the entire- 20 year old slob. I'd put on a nice shirt. Okay. Right? Like if you're in your mid-20s and you're still dressing like you're in high school, probably don't wear that. Right. But also they won't do anything.

You just look like an asshole. No, I figured. Yeah, I figured. You just look like a dick. Nick, what's wrong? It is definitely like. Well, yeah, but he went to Olive Garden. That's fine.

Yeah. That's how I feel. He would wear that. I'm wearing my friend's- And be fine. Is a professional wrestler. But you just look like an asshole. And I'm just wearing his t-shirt and I went. I'm wearing my friend is a professional wrestler. And I'm just wearing his t-shirt. And I went, I mean, we're going to Olive Garden. None of this matters.

Like I didn't feel the need to put on a collar. Again, I mean, I put on a collar shirt for my family. My grandma owns it and you didn't dress up. Your grandma owns what? Oh, did you see the sign out front? There's a general manager sign. Oh yeah, I did. Cause I clocked it when I walked in after I said,

you guys are going to be so mad. It says, I'm telling Gracie, that was today? You're the only one that bit. She did. It wasn't even like, nobody has even replied. And I'm like, Gracie's biting. Gracie biting today. First it was, first it was Michael going,

wait, that's tonight? Yeah, and then Gracie going whoo And then like nobody nobody minutes and then you're like guys why is no one answering? Gracie going I can't tell if you're joking or not and then I replied I can I still have y'all's numbers saved. I didn't know who's oh, yeah, I mean you know at that point Yeah, I knew yours at that point. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, she's us it out. Yeah, she still doesn't know who's making Like if someone went Dogs my phone number. Believe that. Oh, my God.

Well, so what do you guys think about Garfield in general? I was never a huge fan. Yeah, it's boring. That's like his whole thing. He's like, what's the watch that is pretty good. It's like it's like the cat form of if you watch the Sopranos, but they weren't in the mob. Oh, it's just a bunch of guys. That's what Garfield. Yeah.

He's on socks. Yeah, it's a fucking dork. It's a bunch of he's a fucking. Bacala's, but they're not doing anything. Yeah, they're just playing with the trains and the shot. It's not like Garfield. It wasn't like clever enough to be funny, right? It was just like I'm lazy He's a real one-note kind of cat. Yeah, I'm like Heathcliff. I think just has like Jordan's been anxious about this

And I put it together now, he's not talking about chocolate bars. No, okay He's talking about a different orange cat. Pete Cliff is the original orange cat comic. Okay. He predates Garfield. He was talking about this. Yeah, but I mean, Hydrox predates Oreos and they suck. So, yeah, but- What?

Are they? I do. Gracie's mind is blown right now. She's like, what the fuck, what? No. I've never heard of this. The fact we all learned on the internet in 2005, Gracie's going, no fucking way.

Just because he's more successful doesn't mean he's a genius remember. I just kept saying dude hydrox are so basic Garfield is so bad I'll go on record Garth Garfield is basic damn He's a basic and not gotten off this yeah Cliff yeah, oh He he he he he he yeah, so I said yeah Gotten off this. Heath bitch. Cliff? Heath. Heath. Heath. Heath.

Heath. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah. Cliff. Okay. I was just making... A Heath bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cliff. Heath bar. And a Heath bar. Yeah. Okay. And that's the cat. Chocolate cat. Chocolate cat.

He wears helmets that state his desires. Yes. There's Jimmy the Frog. Does he have sexual desires? That is that is yet to be seen Well the helmet is just usually just it's just written it's a white helmet that has words on it So if he wants ham it's a white helmet but sometimes can it be pictures? He has a ham on it? No, well, it just says ham. It says ham and then he wants so so he might wear a helmet I really should have worn my Heathcliff shirt that says it's Heathcliff wearing a helmet and it says t-shirt. Yeah. And that you would have got it.

You would have been like. So if he came out and it just said sex, that's what he wants. Yeah, but I think that's pretty low on the list of things that Heathcliff is after. I don't know. Maybe you don't know him as well as you think. What was that, Nick? Okay, that's what that was. Nick is talking about cutting off cat balls. I don't know maybe you don't know him as well as you think oh

Okay, that's what that was Right but but also Again there was an accident why 10 minutes ago. I said just so you know no one drank anything It sounds like a deranged bunch of fucking drunk people even all of them Why I had breadsticks and sauce and 50 cups of water We all have to pee so bad. Why is I went before Chris Pratt the voice of Garfield in the Marie what do you mean Mario's Garfield? Somewhere already doing some other recording exactly that guy. Hey, do you want to just say you like lasagna? But then he went, but on record, I hate lasagna.

Yeah, he came out and said he doesn't like lasagna. Wait, really? Yes. Yeah, and they still let him play Garfield. Yeah, they still, yeah, they should have banned him. No, that's how you know he's such a good actor. Oh. Oh, he's like, he's pretending.

Oscar. Oscar buzz. Great. Sure, yeah. This guy doesn't even like. Please. Well, no, he doesn't. Impossible. Nothing's going to. Oscar buzz Not nothing's gonna

She's doing she's gonna like this He doesn't I don't know why Slamming into this thing because I don't understand my surround. It's got wheels. Well no, I get that, but usually the arm fits under, but it fits under the top table but not the bottom part. I keep slamming into it. Nothing's going to top. All these scratches were here already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. I do feel drunk. Oh, is it from all the sodium? It must be. Yeah. Nothing's going to top the attitude prowess of Zachary Levi playing Harold from Harold and the Purple Crown.

Oh yeah. Crown, brown crown. Yeah. Crayon. I don't know what you're saying. What's happening? Did you ever read the books, like when you were a kid,

or see them, Harold and the Purple Crayon? No. It's a kid in like purple pajamas. He's a baby in a onesie. Yeah, and he's got like a purple crayon. He's saying crayon instead of crayon. I said crayon. Crayon. Crayon? Crayon instead of crayon. I said crayon.

Crayon. C-R-A-N. You're welcome to planet Earth! People say crayon because they're crazy. Harold and the Purple Crayon. It made no sense. It's a book about a baby with a... Purple crayon.

Baby or baby? Baby. So they're making it a movie and it's not animated it's just a regular like a live-action movie and it's Zachary Levi as though he's a grown man yes this is new acting acting is coming coming up this summer in like a couple weeks after the smash hit Shazam 2 and we're all gonna go see it after Garfield madam webb style All the difference between Shazam's to and madam webb's I saw Madam webb I think is on a net flow. I know it is because it's they're waiting for me every time I turn We have to get together a madam webb it again, dude

You see on Netflix and it's like it's so insane because it doesn't have anything to do with ratings or whatever It's like yep new releases on Netflix like no lie detected But you got it. You got it. Imagine just like the guy uploading is like You know, it's like it's gotta go somewhere We were me and Jordan were talking about it this weekend and we just went like man. Imagine making Gracie watch Madame Web again. Oh, that's Awesome. I would do it. I think she would Oh, that's awesome. I would do it. I think she would Throw some pretzels on a table yeah, they'll show up for that

Found out where they get those pretzels Dude if you know where Coco's gets their pretzels from, you would let me know. Another thing, we're almost there. Fucking in the middle of the breadstick slaughter, Gracie just goes, I found out where they get them. I found out where they order them from. Nick's like, what the fuck, what? What? She's like, yeah, yeah, you can buy them and you just get them frozen, and you just put on the butter, and then he asked me how to prepare them. And I'm looking at Eric and you're just like,

I found out where they order them from. And I'm like, they won't, they'll, they'll, she'll never make it the same. Like it'll never be the same. Just, just going like, I got the same frozen bread as them. It's like, right, right. They do all the other stuff that makes it taste like that. And Gracie's like, and Gracie's like, Gracie's like, no, it's still be exactly the same. Name all other stuff. Again, butter, garlic salt. Right. They do all the other stuff that makes it taste like that. Name all the other stuff. And Gracie's like, no, it'll still be exactly the same. Name all other stuff. Again.

Butter, garlic salt. Right. But again, it's not just like butter on a shelf and garlic salt. It's going to be a stupid, exact recipe. There's a reason you like it like crack. Yeah. You don't have the crack. I might like mine like crack.

You don't have crack. OK? You know what I have. I literally turned to Eric and I went, I'm going to McDonald's at home. It's the same thing. No, you can't. It doesn't matter if you know where they got the burgers from. can't do it. You need their kitchen. Yep, I see

I believe you should try it. I think this is not stopping me. No, it's not gonna stop anything It's emboldening it's gonna embolden you and it's gonna piss you off. Yeah, whenever they taste fucking good I'm not gonna tell you what they're called. Oh, see that's the thing though. I'm not saying they're not gonna taste good I'm saying they're not gonna be as good as Olive Garden. That's absolutely They might be the same just different butters if you're so you're proving my point if you're me I would not be but different butters. That's you prove my point I mean, but do you? What if you don't?

I bet I could find out. I bet it's on the same place I found it. She's gonna go ask the general manager. She's the first one. I'm gonna ask my grandma. I'm just saying do it. The general manager. Do it, do it.

Make your breadsticks if you dare. You need it. From your pluffle. All right, let's learn about Olive Garden. No. What? Remember when you said we make it under an hour? No.

And I said, you don't have that control. Oh, I don't think we're making it under an hour. No, shit, that's learn about Olive Garden. No. What? Remember when you said we make it under an hour? No. And I said, you don't have that control. Oh, I don't think we're making it under an hour. No, that's why I was pissed two hours ago. Whoa. I knew you were gonna make me do this. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

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Because he's a claims-free, hybrid driving university grad who signed up online. It's Dave. Not Dave, no problem. TD Insurance has over 30 ways to save on home and auto. So you can totally save just not exactly like Dave. Save like only you can at tdinsurance.com slash ways to save. TD ready for you. Olive Garden facts. Garfield loves this place, but we went on a Monday. Good grief. Barely a fact. We've been to this restaurant before and you didn't tell us what the score

was last time. Ah, different show. Yeah, also he forgot. Uh, good group, Jordan, good grief. That's also a different show. Yeah. Although typically associated with heavy meats and thick Alfredo sauces, Olive Garden actually caters their breadsticks to vegans because they contain no dairy or egg. No dairy or egg in the bread.

Look, we know these breadsticks are good, but um, pass the meatballs. Uh, uh, face palm emoji, oh brother. Face palm emoji in black and white. In black and white print, yeah. I mean, look, we're paying for it now. Okay? Okay?

Okay? I'm not printing that in color, bud. Okay, that's, I'm agreeing with him. Look, it's a miracle I used my printer to do this. I'm agreeing with mean, look, we're paying for it now. I'm not printing that in color, but that's I'm a look, it's a miracle. I use my printer to do with them. Oh, never mind. You have a printer. Yeah. Well, does it back? It does. I don't have a. Was it in Gracie? Gracie, what do you think about this? The you learned the breadsticks are vegan.

So what kind of butter is it now? Oh, I don't know. I'm really glad we had that conversation first. Breadsticks are vegan, so what kind of butter is it now? I'm really glad we had that conversation first I can't I can't believe it's not butter Just you'll find out I'll test all my different options Okay, hang on, where do you think lard comes from? I don't know. Great.

Some of our locations allow you to bring your own wine to the restaurant and pay a corkage fee. Why did we do that? Would this show be like now if we brought wine? Yep. It would be five people doing this. The monkey would have brought a bottle of his Jeff Gordon 2011 Cabernet Sauvignon

Vroom vroom got the Jeff Gordon 2011 Cabernet Sauvignon Man if one guy was gonna have the Jeff Gordon wine here This fucking guy is a big Jeff Gordon. Yeah, it's a big Jeff Gordon wine Delon heart guy Could you imagine bringing your own wine to an Olive Garden? Yes. I'm saying yes. Like not. Yeah, I'm saying yes. I can believe it because of Freaks and him. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it though. Oh, oh, date night.

Just, oh, we don't have to pay. Go to a place that, go to a dinner restaurant. Uh-huh. Even regardless of Olive Garden, you go into a dinner restaurant, even regardless of Olive Garden, you go into a restaurant for dinner that also sells wine to you directly, and you're like, bring my own.

He's just, if you have better wine, sure, I'm not gonna argue that. You also could have better food. You're going to fucking Olive Garden. Why would you bring better wine to Olive Garden? For what? My wine's better than the Olive Garden wine. Can I get a couple more

mozzarella marinara with my $250 bottle of wine? My wine is better than this. What does Garfield like? Can I get that big old salad? Hey, do you want soup or salad? Salad. Okay. Oh wait, you're not going to ask me what kind of salad it's just salad Do you want They put all one of them on your table I Caught collectively I'm noticing he didn't ask Didn't ask anything I also was noticing Ben to got the Nick and he's like, uh, we're gonna saw salad Nick was just sweating. I mean like he's gonna ask me a question. I know what I'm gonna say The question was what kind of sauce do you want with your spaghetti? And then Michael just went sauce and Nick went what sauce did the waiter said nothing?

Yeah, I was like sauce dude. He's asking what kind of sauce you want spaghetti What kind of sauce we were across the table and the waiter was standing next to me. And Nick was so ready for him to ask him super salad. He goes, what kind of sauce do you want? SALAD! It was almost like, I won't be caught off guard, I'm ready. But because I'm like, oh fuck, I'm more caught off guard than I ever would have been! If I wasn't ready, I wouldn't have't be caught off guard. I'm ready, but because I If I wasn't ready I would have been this caught off guard if that is it if that isn't the story in Nick's life I man is just it's just like I did all the prep work Dude people are gonna be pissed

Did we have really fucking shot ourselves in the foot. In August of last year, a Michigan man shoot Olive Garden after alleging finding a rat foot in his Miss Strone soup. Just the foot? Olive Garden said there's no way it's their rat foot because it didn't take on the soup color plus it's bigger than their spoons. Great point from Olive Garden. If you got a body part in your food make sure you leave it in there long enough for it to pick up the color. Otherwise, it's your rat foot now.

Put it on a key chain. Maybe it's good luck. Oh my God. That ran on like it was the QA or the comment section. Yeah, it did. Tall pants rat foot. Tall pants rat foot milkshake. Tall pants rat foot milkshake! Ha! Tall pants rat foot!

Ha! Dude, Gracie should read one of the Oh! That's a good idea! There are three so that'll be good You'll see, we have a new segment in the show You'll love it Gracie In 2017 A Texas woman was eating a stuffed mushroom appetizer, but it was too hot

and burned her mouth which caused her to swallow it but it got lodged in the throat causing her to choke and burn her throat. Oh no! Then she spit it up and started to drive home then her throat started to close up as she was driving. So an ambulance, serious, had to take her to the burn ward at the hospital. In response Olive Garden removed the dish from the menu and started serving people right. Now wait just a second, that can't be right. Face palm black and white emoji.

Oh brother. Oh my God. Not to diminish what this lady went through, but how many rigs could you be stepping on? It just kept happening. Stop! Stop! Stop!

When they came out, when they brought the food out, they don't do it with every plate. Just some, the guy put it next to Eric and he's like, be careful, it's very hot. Touch it, touch it, touch it, lick it, lick it, lick it, put it in your mouth. Me and Michael, some the guy put it next to Eric. He's like be careful When you were doing that I thought oh this last facts gonna be really good Imagine you know it just keeps happening take a bite Also, I don't know if anyone else had flashbacks as you're reading this. Oh, I sure did! ...of Nick getting spaghetti caught in his throat. No, hold on, hold on, hold on.

We know, we know. Sit down, tell him. He set this up. He set this up. He tells us a story of the time he... What we're talking about. It's been such a long time since I've been to Olive Garden. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then Nick goes, yeah, one time since I've been to Olive Garden. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then Nick goes Yeah, one time I almost died at an Olive Garden Oh the last time I was here I almost died at an Olive Garden and we're like, please tell Okay, Nick, correct me if I'm wrong the situation was you were getting like endless soup salad and pasta or Endless pasta and you were you and a friend his friend was also getting the endless pasta and so immediately for some reason Nick thought it was a competition and he was like win dinner

he had to win the competition so he starts hosing it down gets on your second plate of I assume spaghetti and meatballs um And a noodle gets gets works its way down there the long way It's so long in fact that you start choking and the only way you can get it out is to extract it and he's all he's selling the story, but he's like I had to like Discreetly do it, but he's Really like this in the fucking in the fucking olive garden tells us that story if you recall back at the beginning of the episode almost in a like Che-off gun situation. He set it up perfectly.

Halfway through the meal he just starts choking. Gracie made some crack. Nick starts choking and he's just like, not again. He's literally going, ah, ah, ah. And I was like, open your mouth, I'll pull it, I'll pull it. Jordan started trying to extract the spaghetti noodles. I had already forgotten the finer points. I was like open your mouth Forgotten the finer points This would happen with no key I They have that! They have that! Gnocchi. This wouldn't happen with gnocchi.

I knew this wasn't going to happen. The next episode is going to suck. I know, that's why I said it. We're going to be tired tomorrow. I'm just glad we didn't end up at the burn ward or anything. So thanks for... Are we recording? You choke it down.

He's having a look. See? I'm just glad we didn't end up at the burn ward or anything. So thanks, guys. Are we recording? You choke it down. He's having a look. He's good. He's good. See? Yeah.

All right. Should we? Yeah. You checked in 35 minutes. Shane's got it. If you missed that, that would have been awful. Now, should we fuck around a little bit if we want? So here's the thing.

Here's the thing about the stuffed mushroom things. A bunch of people, this is 2017, they got rid of it. Because this, they're not saying it's because this woman choked and everything. Was this lady from Amarillo? Because this is Amarillo. It sounds like Amarillo behavior, right? Yeah.

Just like not knowing what's going on. They got rid of these mushrooms, and it has been a campaign ever since. It's people online going, I'd eat an olive garden if they brought those mushrooms back. Whoa! The mushrooms that almost killed that woman? Five times? Fuck!

Those must have been so good. I guess, but like, Maybe, if they were, they would have brought them back. Maybe, I don't know, dude. This is true. I mean, that just goes to some people. Some people just ruin it for everyone else, I guess.

I never know Yeah, this woman is kind of nice. She's next thing. They're gonna villain for sure They're gonna take spaghetti off the menu because Nick Gracie would rejoice Finally you know they only have That again, it's basic. I open the menu and it's like spaghetti this spaghetti that there's like the word spaghetti was seven times on one page I'm like I'm super popular at Olive Garden But Gracie like me went Garfield style we a Garfield's favorite you have what we were there first ordered a

Mini Garfield app There is how is the app version? Hey, Jordan? How was that? Do you want to tell us about the food? Do you do you want to the bottom? Yeah, he's actually app version of that. Hey Jordan, do you want to tell us about the food? Do you? Do you want to? It's at the bottom. Yeah, he's figuring out if he wants to or not. That's right.

This is true. I'm in control. We can go over an hour. Yeah. For the first time. No. I remember it like it was yesterday. There I was looking at Garfield's favorite menu.

The power was in my hand. I decided to take destiny into my own hands. I want to talk about Heathclfield's favorite movie. The power was in my hand. I decided to take destiny into my own hands. I want to talk about Heathcliff's favorites. All right. Pam, chow down while you count down to the Garfield movie. No. From appetizers to desserts, we've got infinite ways to enjoy Garfield's favorite.

No, you don't. Not true. They literally don't. They have four. You don't infinite anything except, except- Stop! I do, I wanna say these are direct pulls from, this is how Olive Garden tries to sell you

on Garfield's favorites. All right. This is how it is written. It's a what? I bet they- Direct pull. You pulling my pud? I'm pulling Garfield's.

Whoa. What's a pud? I think his got cut. It's what you think it is. Yeah, I just realized. Whatever the snip snip. What's a putt? Boop. Thanks for making time for this, Gracie.

The lasagna fritta. Lasagna, but make it an appetizer. So Jordan, tell me more. That's, there you go. What? That's what you mean. Is it a little small? Does that answer your question? Is it made small?

What does that mean? I ate it. I'm still not sure what it was. So it was small. So Gracie was confident she could make it. Oh, Gracie a better at home. And all the breadsticks. She knows where she gets it.

You can make this at home. This is where they get it. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I forgot she kept it. And then she was just like, she was just like talking down to Nick You need a pot with oil with some oil

Just like this Basically it's deep-fried lasagna as far as I can remember. I mean, all it is is like- It's a lasagna made into a mozzarella stick. Yeah. That's exactly what it was. It is. It's bad exactly.

It's bad. I- They came out first because I forgot to order the mozzarella marinara. And I went, how is this different than a mozzarella marinara? It's almost not. It's- It's got some meat in it. Honestly, it's a better version. Mm-hmm.

Oh, it's really good. I would say it's better than a mozzarella., it's a better version. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's really I would say it's better. Yes I like a lot. Yeah, yeah They also have the lasagna classic Oh endless layers of cheese and saucy goodness. I mean definitely wasn't endless There's just still eating it. They're making some big claims. Yeah Language just gonna like talk about lawsuit We have an infinite number well Well actually it's three. Right, they need to be careful with what they're saying here.

Uh huh. The tour of Italy, lasagna, plus some other good stuff. That is... Did Garfield write it? Like is that the thing they're going for? Michael... Michael Fates. Did Garfield wake up on like a Monday and they're like, Garfield... the descriptions of the food is due and he's just like

This is where Santiago keeps BFT and they're trying to claw their way out No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That was funny. That was funny. This is a way better reveal than Greg's holding the... That was so cool. Holding the mozzarella. I see. I disagree. Not knowing she was holding it. The reveal isn't that. It's immediately going, you've been holding that for 45 minutes. Not, not, whoa, the mozzarella stick. So stay tuned to the end of the episode where we try the chocolate. Why did you reveal it right now?

Wait, am I going to eat it right now? I want everyone to see it. And it was a good joke. Why didn't you just reveal it at the end? It doesn't matter. I don't care. Hang on, I'm realizing it. It doesn't matter anymore.

It's almost 9 o'clock. All right, Gracie. Gracie, we're moving on to YouReview. Oh, check it out. So Gracie, we have a new site. You got to flip the paper over. Yeah, there you go. There's a back.

There you fucking turn it over now. So Gracie, here's the thing. You review is from you out there watching this podcast. You've left one star Yelp reviews. There's no way it's them. No, absolutely not. All of these people have eaten what we've eaten. No, well, no.

Not at all. Don't listen to what he's saying. I mean, they have. He's doing the Olive Garden thing where what he's saying isn't really actually true. Yeah, it's true. These are just Yelp reviews. These are just Yelp reviews.

These are Yelp reviews for Olive Garden. Okay, got it. There's an infinite number of them. Someone may have left one and they could be watching or listening. They're not. There's endless possibilities in you reviews. These are Yelp reviews for Olive Garden. Okay, got it, got it. There's an infinite number of them. Someone may have left one, and they could be watching or listening, they're not. If it was you, let us know. Yeah, people would lie and say they did.

I think, since this one is from Nancy, I think Gracie should be good. Gracie, why don't you take the honors of reading Nancy F's review? Okay, let me get into character. I walked in after being told there were, you forgot to put would be. No, this is-

Oh, this is... Oh, sorry. It is green and pasted. You're talking... Nancy forgot. Nancy forgot. She's not watching. I walked in after being told there would a 30-minute wait for a table.

I was told I could wait at the bar. Walking to the bar, I noticed two empty tables. Unbelievable. I asked politely if I could sit at one of these tables available. No, only parties of two to three. You have to sit at the bar, I replied. But no one is sitting at either tables. The host then informed me because I was dining alone.

I had to eat at the bar. I walked out and will never go back. This is economic discrimination because I'm less of a profit for the restaurant if at a table. So I have to eat at a designated area, or sorry, eat at a designated area, or sorry, eat AA designated area. From this day forward,

I'll take my Italian dining experience locally. Well, you're at Allgaard, so you weren't getting Italian dining experience anyway. This is economic discrimination. Wow. What? Bokey, that's fucked up. I also like the idea of anything.

I'm just going, but that table's not in use. It's like, imagine being a party at two, and it's like, what about the table or eight people? Yeah. Right. That's where party of two and it's like, what about the table or eight people? Yeah. Right. This is the most. That's where I thought the story was gonna turn where it's like, what about that table?

Ma'am, you're a party of 10. Yeah, it really is like, yeah, but I see that. Why can't I have it? We're saving, people come in, it gets busy. I'm not even gonna wrap myself in like, is it crazy that you don't have a table somewhere by yourself? Oh, for sure. That makes no sense. You're at Olive Garden. You know what I mean? I don't...

Where's your family? It's a family place. It's also just like... It sucks. Go somewhere else. Hey, hey, hey, Nancy, shit sticks. Shit sticks! So this policy doesn't surprise me.

Wait, you know who should go to Olive Garden with Nancy? It's Chris. Oh, Chris Damaris could be his finder. Wow, it's my last day. Nancy, it's my last day. Nancy, if you're out there, we will find you. They can get a real good view. These are Austin local.

Chris, by the way, is- Oh, these are Austin. I don't know. This is from, we call them Pas de Pied. Oh my God, I thought these were just nationwide. These reviews are one star reviews from the Olive Garden we just ate at. Oh.

Yeah. So you could maybe run back there and just be like, Nancy, Nancy, are you here? Well, when I get my car, I'll make sure to go in and I'll have to go back. Shit! We would like five tables for one. All right, you wanna take Kevin?

Yeah. All right. I knew it, I just knew it. He's holding that shift key and he doesn't give a fuck. Kevin G. Never a gya! We went to eat at Olive Garden 52923 at 730. I assume PM. Ordered pasta and mushroom sauce. Over salty! Canned mushrooms!

I left half the dish. She ordered spaghetti marinara with meatballs, cold meatballs and over salty. Dot, dot, dot. It sat in the heat lamp, comma, was dry on top, dot, dot, dot. Basic cafeteria food, dot, dot, dot. Fire the chef, dot, dot, dot. Love Chef K. Love Chef K. Cafeteria. What is his Love Chef K. Cafeteria?

What is his cat? Caf-it? Cafeteria. Also Mara-nara. Oh I didn't even see that one. It was, yeah it happened a lot. Now I will say Michael, I like the cold meatballs! And over salty! It!

Set! Yeah! He pressed it off. Oh fuck. It's too late,! Set! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! He's got to shut up! Yeah, he did dot dot dot. It! Oh, fuck. Shit, fuck, fuck. It's too late, don't go back! Hehehehe. Love, Shay.

I don't know what a backspace is. Yup. Alright, hey. This next one's long. This one's from Joey R. And it's a long one. So let's see if we can get through this one. Alright, go for it, Jordan.

Take us away. Nope. Keep driving. Go eat at your Italian friend's kitchenette. This place serves diabetes and salt in each entree, and with a rotten smile and a hefty tap. Whoa, damn! No health insurance provided either for the low quality foods and nutrition served.

Who does this to America and Americans? Olive Garden! Count on the harm that Olive Garden's frozen foods offer for sure. Holy mackerel. Batman and Dr. Kevorkian. Why do people line up to eat here? The Olive Garden team served salt in everything. The breadsticks were served still slightly frozen. The extra salt is in everything. The carpet and place smell badly like infant and adult BM diapers Why is this place called authentic Italian all diabetes and nothing Italian about all of our pissed about type Other than the art drawings of basil or rosemary on the wall. This is going to sound extreme

Go ahead go ahead count on it, but all of garden foods promote self-harm and every calorie consumed sodium poor and artificial preservatives serve The place ruined my Sunday health why would a friend give me a The place ruined my Sunday health. Why would a friend give me a birthday gift? Olive Garden lousy pal Keep away So it was about halfway through that we're even talking about eating there Yeah, like this is someone who doesn't none of this has to do with the experience in the restaurant at all who does this to?

America and America Olive Garden, and you knew that Yeah, but like Batman he doesn't kill people Wow he has one rule Batman's family Crazy's like the Joker Batman's My god these people are crazy He says a gift card to this olive garden did he want one to a different right This place ruined my Sunday health. Oh no my Sunday But my other six healths are safe, but Monday when it resets. I'm fine

Six healths are safe Monday through Monday when it resets. I'm fine Now we went there you need this Not if you are no I can only Gracie would have even paused that Again, it's just nibbling. She just nibbles at the fishing hook. Even I didn't expect her to reply. She's like, nah, maybe. I don't know, are you gonna eat it? Alright, now before we get to this rating... He's fucking turning into the Joker dude. He's the fucking Joker. This is a giggly episode.

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Okay, we have to try the chocolate lasagna. You can one bite it and that is going to factor into our scores here. It sounds fucking stupid by the way. Go for it like go for it Gracie. So now don't be fooled. The chocolate lasagna isn't your classic lasagna with chocolate on it. My endless layers of- No it's just chocolate cake. Yes. But it's layered like lasagna.

Garfield fucking loves it. Yeah but it's not lasagna in any way. It's just cake Yeah, if I were Garfield, I would cut this and then eat the worst of the kids. Where's the pasta? Where's the pasta? Yeah, that's true. Where the fuck is the pasta lousy pal? lousy pal for this cake everything Don't ever say there's a there's a crunch to it a little something in the middle sound like him.

Was it three of you now? As well as them were evolving now. Do you know they're devolving? Yeah, okay. He's devolving. Got Nick. Try a little bite or something like molten lava cake in the middle. Yeah, I assume when that came out it molten lava cake in the middle. Yeah.

I assume when that came out it was hot. You got it. Okay. And then last but not least. Did you take any of that? I don't want any of that. There you go. The napkin right there, I certainly didn't take it.

How did you get the napkin clean over there? You don't make quite the mess. How did you get over there? Now, Gracie, it's- I was just fucking take it! That's the chocolate-est chocolate thing I've ever seen. What's the crunch coming from? How'd you get over there?

I don't know. Watch the tape. Watch the tape. Watch the tape. Who took the napkin? Who took it? Is that the pasta? Did you see who took the napkin? Gracie is examining the cake, but she will not eat it.

Is it going to make everyone feel better if I do? Yeah. You want to do it? We pass it back and forth to each other. I don't want it. I don't want it. Alright, Gracie's gonna try all the show still over here, okay? Chalk it's chocolate It's a lot of chocolate great. You can see the inside What's inside of it

How to get in there Should have put it in the cake That would have been a fucking reveal If you cut the cake open and the mozzarella stick was inside the middle of the cake Oh I was wondering where that was Woah do it again She's freaking out by the way cause it's chocolate Oh shit you don't like it Why you made me eat it? I didn't make you

We were arguing about the man who just got betrayed Eric style What is this layer? There's like a crunch to it huh? I don't know what it is. I like the crunch though I mean, it's pretty good. I don't know what it is either, but yeah, I think that's really good It's pretty good chocolate. Don't stop calling it lasagna. You can have as much as you want. That's good So might I interest you in? I'm gonna eat your sweaty

This on you yeah, yeah, it's greasy from being greasy and from being in Gracie's hand. Gracie Gracie. It's greasy and Gracie. She got some Gracie on the Gracie. She showed me her hand before we started recording. It was like glistening. Yeah. That was the moment where I was like,

maybe this wasn't worth it. Do you think if mozzarella sticks were alive, they'd be like, do you have a napkin? I'm Gracie. I'm like, Iing's so Gracie. And then the mozzarella sticks opens its hand and Gracie's in. Whoa! Surprise, surprise.

And all the other mozzarella. I'm not gonna eat it. Oh my god! It can't be. Oh that's good me without factor into your scores. So what'd you guys think of Garfield's favorites and all of our not great Jordan I Think that chocolate inside the child was on it was probably the best part. Yeah The lasagna fritters were Interesting interesting take on getting worse the more I choose making lasagna portable only the inside with the bad part

Yeah, not my fault. The inside is real bad. How's that good? That around the outside I Had one bite of the lasagna Reminded me I don't like lasagna. Oh, I think you didn't say that cuz she would have hammered you Okay, dude, I think you didn't say that cuz she would have hammered. It's actually integral to lubricating your throat so you can swallow it. And Gracie just rung it all out.

Before we get to your score and everything, the thing we should talk about also is that there were five of us. We had two appetizers. We had the cake. It's my new favorite noise that I make for people. We had the bottomless fucking sauce. We all had an entree.

We had so much stuff. It was like 130 bucks. Which is like, for going out to eat right now, that is not bad at all. It's not bad. Yeah. The price is better than the food. That is absolutely true.

That's a hundred percent true. They at least, you literally get what you pay for. Yeah. It's like, that's not bad. Yeah. Food good? I mean, I got what I paid for. And I'm paying for it.

Yeah. I mean, Nick what I paid for And I'm paying for it. Yeah, I Mean Nick almost died. Yeah, I said I'll do it again. Yeah, I'll almost die again Jordan. What did you get? I? got the Chicken alfredo and I saw I had never seen this before but it said try it crispy on the So ask for it crispy. I thought that was an audible. I didn't read that part. That makes more sense. So they brought it out fritta. And yeah, it was good. It was

an extra little layer to it. Nice. Yeah, it tasted just like the fried lasagna stuff, honestly. But that dish is good, because that's what I always get when I go to Olive Garden. I would not get the lasagna. And this half-hearted attempt at a Garfield integration is...

Low effort. Like Chris Pratt as Garfield. Yeah. And like Garfield, I guess. I don't know how they're still... Boy, they're still... Who gives a fuck about Garfield? They're still bringing him out every ten years or so. Who the fuck gives a shit? I don't know a single fucking person that's like some fuck about Garfield. They're still bringing him out every every 10 years or so shit

I don't know. I think that fucking person. That's like a blow of Garfield Wait for that Garfield. Yeah, uh-huh fucking die Put him away put this cat to bed Heathcliff on the other. Okay. All right. I mean, I'm willing to give him a shot Oh nice. I just like Garfield enough. I'll send you some some real bangers Give him a shot. Oh nice. I dislike Garfield enough. I'll send you some some real bangers Like they're all one panel comics and none of them make sense. You got the garbage. I try and get through a panel Interest yeah, but I can I can try So what do you rate it Jordan? So I just on this food is just like

Geez Louise, I don't know We almost got I would have I would have died for sure I'm falling he's choking She threw flu and shield 37% okay 37% She threw flu and shield. Rest in peace. 37%. Okay. 37%. Michael, what did you get at Olive Garden? I got the chicken marsala fettuccine, I think.

And when it came out, you looked at it and looked at me. Oh, dude, this looks like shit. It was immediate. He just went... It's funny because I directly cannot help but compare it to... I usually get the steak, but I also get the chicken marsala at Caraba's fucking caraba's and it's fantastic. I was actually like even joking about like all of garden I'm like this actually looks like fucking shit. Yeah, it was slop The chicken was like shit and the pasta

Didn't even look at yours it was not cuz it was hiding I mean like it didn't it didn't taste was too big It was slop. yours. It was not because it was hiding on our table. It didn't taste bad. It was too big. It was slopped. Yeah, it was not even like Like I get what you're saying like it's Olive Garden, but like it's a solid dish. I was expecting Maybe partially that. I'm like this sucks. I feel like I wish I got spaghetti and meatballs. Yeah, you gotta go with the simple stuff For Olive Garden to be good. And I think chicken alfredo is simple enough for them. I think spaghetti and meatballs is simple enough for them.

I reach for the stars. And unfortunately, I touched a hot plate. I put it in my mouth. Look it. Look it. I bit a mushroom. And you did it again. I popped a mushroom.

And the noodle got in there. I couldn't find a gnocchi. And then you sat back. And you fell. I was falling. Couldn't find a no key and then you sat back and you know I was falling It the What I ordered was the worst thing I ate there that yes

It looked like the worst thing Gracie's hand thing is better That's not was worse that was what I said what I ate there You know what I mean if I ate it out of her hand in the parking lot, it would have been better. You could have. I'm glad I didn't. The thing, the appetizer lasagna thing, that was a plused up mozzarella stick. Yes, and it was better than a mozzarella stick. You had the, there was like one left over when you went, I got that. And no, I'm not even, you went,

I think it was one left and you're like, hey, you want to take care of this? I'm like, you got damn right. Yeah, yeah. And you were like, sloppily, you were scraping it off. Honestly, the like whatever sauce they have in the plate, that was good.

That was very good. Like that's all I expect the level of like, oh, this is good fast food shit. Like McDonald's shit. That hit that the Marsala sucked you know the cakes pretty good why it's not nothing to do lasagna yeah it's a fucking cake fucking Garfield I don't know it's got layers got layers like a cake yep I do agree though fuck fuck but like breadsticks are fucking good. Yeah, that just salt

I'll be honest. It was one of my worst all of garden experiences. I would say Wow cuz you ordered something weird Yeah, we're chicken marsala so weird at the Olive Garden weird. You could have had spaghetti and meatballs You could have chose I was actually yelled out of ordering Olive Garden, be better. Is there a number? 20. 20? Wow. Yeah, breadsticks can't save you.

We know that breadsticks are good. I almost like I have to omit them from the rating. Because they're great. They're great. That's fine. I was just, dang. 28.5. That was a piss poor showing. 28.5. That is, that's rough trade, man. Yeah, it was a piss-poor showing bad point five. That is that's rough. Yeah

Bad episode. Yeah That's I mean, it's the food show, you know, I mean if the food's not good It's like well that episode was a dud. Yep, but can I ask what you'd rate the lasagna since we're the only two that ate the thing Oh It's like a it's like a 40. I mean, it's fine. It's like half good. Not really. Yeah Yeah, I mean I took a good amount of it down. So yeah What was better the actual lasagna or the mozzarella stick mozzarella stick lasagna? Okay That was like yeah, that's something

That 85 if if I got this and the for talk If I got this and the frittata thing and the breadsticks that's pretty killer meal that's more of the cake actually the lasagna breadstick thing surprised me the lasagna mozzarella thing surprised me because again you know the breadsticks are good it's your crack juice

that one I was like holy shit this is a new thing and it's good it's not like a piece of shit like everything else they make. Give it a dip. I could have eaten. I could have. I would have preferred just eating like eight of those. And that being my. Oh, I totally agree. Yeah. Deep fried lasagna thing. Yeah, it was good. Get that. If you're good, if you're going to go to Olive Garden by yourself,

get that. But you're going to have to sit at the bar. Yeah. Unless Chris is there. Unless Chris is there. Then you can get a table for two. Yeah. Yeah. Or if Nancy's there. Yeah, that's true there. Then you can get a table for two. Or if Nancy's there. Yeah, that's true. You and Nancy can get a table. You can tag team a table. Well that's... You're looking for a lousy pal.

That's Olive Garden. Well do you think Nancy gave Joey the fucking name? Holy shit. You can have the rest of this. I'm not going back. But we have to get down to some business. We have opened our Patreon. Patreon.com slash 100% has begun. Why am I just hearing about this now?

You can, no, you can support this directly. You can also just listen to the podcast and support us. I did. We want to thank everyone who- Sort of did. We want to thank everyone who is supporting us on Patreon. How do you spell that? It's been really great and one of the things that we have the tier is 100% fan.

We have fans who give $100 because they are 100% fans. And because of that, we will shout you out. This has never been done in the history of this show. We will shout you out and read your message on the show. Oh, also, we didn't even really mention at the top, this is the first episode that had the intro. Where the Patreon is going. No, it also had the intro.

Oh, yeah. And then they heard it. Shut up. Let me finish. Let me fucking finish. You put it in afterwards. We didn't have it when we recorded the episode. We had not heard it.

God damn you. Uh-huh. We all went, wow, I think that's the intro because it didn't exist yet. Yeah. But with the 100% fan, Jordan, do you want to read this? Sure, I'll read this one. We have our first 100% fan that we are reading this from. Oh, man. So if you-

This is a hammering. No shit. Yeah. If you sign up, you get to choose, are you getting a shout out? Is there a hammering? You send us a message We even put a space where it's how do you pronounce your name so that way we get it right? Yeah Yeah, so go ahead Jordan. Take it away. So I know that this is from Chris

Castellano And we also ask which of the following best applies to your shout out a gift a hammering a general message Uh-huh other this is selected hammering. Okay Let's see to my lovely wife my best friend the way you eat pizza is psychotic But I still love you I wish you would have elaborated on how she eats it. Thank you Chris Chris if you can let us know in the comments I want to find it down there and pin it. Let us know the psychotic way. We just a video. Chris, if you can let us know in the comments, I wanna find it down there and pin it. Let us know the psychotic way.

Can you tweet us a video? Yeah, please. Tweet it, yeah, yeah. Record your wife eating pizza. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. So, hey, I really like, this isn't even like a pitch, everything's on there. Oh yeah. Like you know how if you listen to the episodes prior and it's like go to Twitter or whatever

to find the pictures, it's right in there. Everything is in there. We're trying to treat it like a website, a hub. Like a lot of people are like, oh, I'm not on Twitter, I'm not on Instagram. Okay, fine, just go to the Patreon. It's all there. You can also subscribe for free.

And just to keep up with what's going on. You could also subscribe for $5. You can also subscribe for $. And just to keep up with what's going on. You could also subscribe for $5. You can also subscribe for $5. Well, you can subscribe as a bug, which is $5. But then also it says enter any amount you want. And you might just type 10, because you think like, well, I want to be a grackle, not a bug.

But then you enter and you're like, oh fuck, it didn't make me a grackle. It just made me a bug that pays $10. I should sign up to be a grackle. So let me cancel my bug membership. It sounds like it's for a place of experience. But then I'll sign back up as a Grackle for $10 and now I'm at $20 You could do that. I want to say that everyone supporting us. Thank you very much We had one cancellation and it just said it was him

It was like Michael is canceled everyone's loving this this is fucking great look at all these comments I was a great one cancellation by what the fuck I Did that and and literally not talking? Personally or being whatever you were like Michael like in slackers on there Did you accidentally sign up and then and then cancel and, no, I did both on purpose. I accidentally bid $10 as a bug and then I, instead of modifying my membership, I just canceled it again.

Oh man. But I also want to give a shout out to, we can go back and see everyone who signed up in like a time stamp. And so I wanted to shout out our very first patron. Wow, no way! And we've got over 50? Yeah, we have over 50. Ish, yeah.

We're like right there. 52? Who signed up about five minutes before I went live. Because it was live and they did some sleuthing. So thank you Austin F Wow Austin way to go and our first 100% fan was dawn. Oh Thanks, dawn. Uh, you're gonna hammer Your wife eat something crazy, let's get her

At the five dollar tier you get access to our discord, which has been really cool The discord has been a lot of fun. I have gone from not knowing at all how Discord works to basically running that one. Jordan's an expert and he's very good at it. It's been a lot of fun and a lot of the bugs and grackles in there. The first time I looked at it I was like, holy shit, this thing's expensive. It's so confusing. It's not that confusing.

It's just large. Gracie gets confused when there's more than one Discord you can go to. And then there's like five different puzzle rooms. You gotta get granular. It's all, I just got the one. It's not confusing at all. It's like, Jordan's had his fingers in this. That's a you thing.

It's a user error. It's confusing. It's pretty meticulous, I'm being honest. Post some pictures of Cinnamon in the Discord and she posts it in a different server. Yep. I went to General like you said well you have a few and the general and Andrew Patton loved the picture. Yeah, you can see exclusive cinnamon photos on

Discord you can also watch my daily wordle. Uh-huh. I do it most days. Yeah The thing that we found out you guys do it all the time. Nick is really good at word. Oh, yeah I learned how many guesses doesn't really take you he's doing like three and he's on hard mode. Yeah, really damn, dude What what's the difference between hard mode? It's harder harder. Well like no shit, but in what way? Yeah, you can to guess that. Yeah, you can't, like, use letters that weren't included in your... Let him boil. He's gonna leave it.

He's gonna leave it. The thing that... Hey, hey, he's in control. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait, we're all in control. Why can't we do this in under an hour? There's no reason. It doesn't make any sense.

It's we're doing the show. We'll just make it 45 minutes. You dumb fuck. The other thing, the other thing on the Discord that we found out we like doing is there's the stage. That felt rude. Yeah, glad it felt rude. We felt rude.

There's a stage, there's a stage feature. I said I couldn't control him. Where we, there's a stage feature. I said I couldn't control him. Where we, there's a stage feature where we did a live food court on the day we launched. And it was a very fun way to do it. We recorded it and we put it out and I think that we're really into that. And we might like sign up for the channel and.

Your intro, but I want to like pitch in. And you're like, also, Michael's like a wedding or something. Cause I'm like, whoa. Whoa. There's one point where you come back and you're like also Michael's like a wedding or something because I'm like whoa whoa you come back and you're all echo here you go I'm in a bathroom again can you tell? Can I tell you I don't even know I think is like my I must have been playing like white noise or something on my phone when I went to sleep because I woke up to fucking you streaming on Twitch on my phone when I went to sleep, because I woke up to fucking you streaming on Twitch. That was on my phone.

Like that was on my fucking phone. And I don't know how. That's a hell of a way to wake up. I woke up with you going, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And I'm like, what the fuck's going on? It sounds just like him. No, see, see, no, see, it's not- Promoting or Patreon?

That's not, it sounds like, that's just somebody jumping around. That's non-specific. Anyone talking where I'm sort of listening, going me, me, me, me, me, me. That's everyone to Gracie. Could be anybody. Me, me, that's just somebody jumping. That's non-specific. Anyone talking, or I'm sort of listening, and going meh meh meh meh meh. That's everyone to Gracie. It could be anybody. Meh meh meh meh meh.

Yes. It sounds like Gary's thing. Anyway, I hear it, and I'm going, what's going on now? And you're like, anyway, 100% eat. I'm like, all right, I guess I'll get it on this. Yep. I had no idea you were doing it. Jumped on.

Jumped in, hopped in for like a second, and I'm like, ah, thing, whatever. There's a bunch of people in Discord. I'm like, all right, I'm leaving. I gotta go, and I left. And then like two minutes later. I look back and you're like we're doing food car I'm like the fucking hell you are Jordan jumps in Michael. I'm stopping Thank you. I'm sorry. What did you think you were doing? Did you think you were gonna be another judge?

Did you just try to like take my and and you're like no I was gonna be a lower Yes, yes No, I was going to be a lower and I go, Oh, so yes. The answer was yes. That was very fun. We recorded it. It's on our YouTube channel. You need to watch it because you need to know about the slop. You need to know about what happens when you mix mashed potatoes and ketchup with hot dogs and Mac and cheese, and then you put it all together and you call it the slop and it's called the slop.

And that's exactly what it is. And it is feeding trough shit. There's a channel actually called the feeding trough. Everyone posts their dump food. Yeah. Go check it out, Gracie. You'll be amongst friends. All the times we've done food court,

I never once thought or wanted to have the person there. Keep going. Hang on. Hang on. Gracie's going to find it. And this is where people are like, you got to start scrolling. People post pictures. It's fucked. He was exactly. It's the fucking food drop. So guys, you can go sign up, uh, patreon.com slash 100% eat. I'm just saying if you, if you, I'm just saying, if you enjoy food court. This is great. This is a great endorsement. Just looking at the back of your phone, they can't see what you're seeing.

No, they gotta pay for that. They gotta pay us $5 for that. I never once doing a food court, I wish this person was here. Your letter is fine, We will judge you fine Go away. I don't need you having the person there defend their food. It's good. It's good. It's good Eric just going stop saying it's good dude after he was after it He was talking about in the feeding trough and he was just like it's really not that bad

And I said I said I'm gonna make a bot Mutes you every time you say that And leaving hearts on food You got you don't really good-looking cheese jump on this is episode Jump on the the discord also follow us at 100% By our own 35 Jump on the Discord, also follow us at 100%eek on Twitter, on Twitter and on Instagram. That one's gonna be 45 minutes by our own 35 minutes. By our own doing.

Hey, we also have a PO Box. We do? Oh shit! We do. It's PO Box, we'll put it in the description, hopefully. PO Box 143241. What the fuck? Yep, Austin, Texas. 78714. That's P.O. Box 143241. Wait, isn't that where we are now?

Austin, Texas. Nope, 78714. That's this room. That's this room right here. This is a big P.O. Box. Oh shit. There's also a survey link in the description if you can fill that out. That helps us with our ads and demographics and stuff.

So it just makes them more relevant. People are asking, how do I help the most? That helps us a lot, so please. And also video version. If you are just listening to this, there's a video version on our YouTube channel. If you like the part where we laughed for eight minutes straight,

you can watch us laugh for eight minutes straight. It's pretty good. Jordan, that's all the business. Yeah, we gotta do a Michael Jordan podcast. Yeah! Oh, the Michael Jordan podcast! Dude, it's almost 10 o'clock! The $10 tier, the Michael Jordan podcast,

that's a fucking hit, baby. Just like the bulls, baby. Are you talking to me or are you bragging in the podcast? That's right! We're hyping our own show up. Rate, subscribe, tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food.

And normally it wouldn't matter, but I'm gonna say too, if you're really that interested, the next one's gonna be after this. So, should be an interesting one. It's either gonna be way up or way down. We'll see you next time, bye! Bye!