100% Eat - Jack in the Box Spicy Tiny Tacos and Loaded Spicy Tiny Tacos

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Jack in the Box Spicy Tiny Tacos and Loaded Spicy Tiny Tacos so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the Saweetie meal, M...ichael becoming Food Beast, and how different these little tacos really are from the other little tacos. Sponsored by DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) and Voodoo Ranger (Visit @voodooranger on Instagram and Twitter). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 DQ presents how to officially start your summer. Step one, head to DQ. Step two, try the new summer blizzard menu. And step three, dig into new peanut butter cookie dough party, new picnic peach cobbler, and more. Make it official. Only at DQ. Happy tastes good. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Can you guys hear that? Probably not. It doesn't sound as good. I'm imagining it. I can hear it.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Take it away, Eric. No, the intro. What? No, this is yours. What? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da What happened there? You tried to start it like 30 times. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we, for a fact, try every single new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do, thanks to DoorDash Honey and Voodoo Drink It Ranger for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are those cheeks doing? You're squeezing them.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I don't know what's going on over there. Every time I think I'm ready for the start of this show, I'm not ready for the start of this show. We can't just have a normal intro. Ever. We probably had a couple, right, throughout our tenure? Yeah, the first four episodes. No, I think even that one we fucked up a whole
Starting point is 00:01:44 bunch. You called us sports fans at one time. Oh, I remember that. Oh, I forgot. Hey, sports fans. I think you're confusing fucked up with punched up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, real punch up. Yeah, we're a sports podcast now.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Did you guys hear about Messi? Oh, Jesus. We're not a sports podcast. Get a napkin. You know what I mean? Yep. That's what I'm talking about. That's good.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Well, thanks for listening. Today, we're reviewing again Jack in the Box. They're back. They're back. Spicy tiny tacos and loaded spicy tiny tacos.
Starting point is 00:02:25 But wait. Hang on. Half of that we didn't eat. Oh. Let me, let me, I'll just condense this. Jesus. Hey, do we really need to get both? Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Yes. We need the control. Why though? We already agreed we don't need to get chicken anymore that's not spicy. You agreed with me on that. Let's just get spicy. This is the same same scenario let's just get the one with stuff no we need it hi i'd like to order them oh we only have so many oh fuck it we don't need the original instead of getting half and half you immediately abandoned what you just told me we need it was
Starting point is 00:02:59 very important until it wasn't 15 seconds later until it became maybe a hassle yeah and then i didn't want to do it anymore so we got a cheeseburger and you know what it's fine we actually we actually didn't need the control of the uh i know we didn't that's why i said it wow jordan that's groundbreaking you might be right maybe you know what maybe it's good that we didn't get it wow you're definitely not right uh-huh but we are okay oh i see why was nick included i said because he's not you okay hey that's what you get are you messy psg sign this man Gracie this is what the whole episode is This is the whole show
Starting point is 00:03:53 Who are you talking to? Our intern Where? I'll have you know there's no one else here There's one person on the couch And it's Gracie and she's our intern Oh I'm sorry Jordan didn't want to get her food
Starting point is 00:04:03 So I forgot she was alive. Why are we getting five? In my defense, she was not with us, and she wasn't even here when we met up, so I totally forgot about her. Yeah, that's right. I knew she was here. I'm just saying, if you don't get food ordered for you,
Starting point is 00:04:27 you don't exist to me. Thankfully, you ordered food for her. Like before Nick was born. And then around episode three or four. Oh, yeah, we should invite Nick. He took his first steps. So we got these spicy loaded tiny tacos or loaded triple cheeseburgers and we got the triple bacon barbecue cheeseburger no eric would not yes not shut up about it fuck this he kept going
Starting point is 00:04:59 we gotta wash something down we gotta wash the tacos down with something. How about delicious cheeseburgers? This is bullshit. And I said, surely the double will suffice. And he screamed, no! Triple only! And then he ran to the counter and he said, 15 of your finest patties spread across five delicate beauties were those 15 of their finest patties yeah and then we all since we're not reviewing the burgers i took a
Starting point is 00:05:37 bite and went this is not good we all sat here when this is not good you said yeah they're not known for their good burgers and Nick went yeah not good hey yours are bigger than mine he saw yours and froze in his tracks and was like what the what the fuck we were all sitting Nick stood up
Starting point is 00:06:03 and like God from above pointed. Yours are bigger. I was expecting him to pull out a monocle, zoom in and enhance. I mean, to say that
Starting point is 00:06:22 cheeseburger fucking sucked I think is an understatement. It's supposed to be like a barbecue bacon triple cheeseburger. You open it up and it just looks plain. The cheese wasn't melted. I kept flopping it. It looked like a drawing of cheese. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Wow, it did. It really did. It looked like it was colored in a crayon. That was exceptional. Look, Jack in the Box is a crayon. It was, that was like exceptional. Look, Jack in the Box is a thing that I've had for like a really long time. It's from San Diego. They're everywhere back home. And you always get two tacos and a curly fry, whatever.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Never got the cheeseburgers or hamburgers or anything. Like, their burgers have always fucking sucked. But not to like that level. That was, that was like dog food. I'll say I was shocked. Yes. I took a bite and I had a genuine surprise at how bad it was. He recoiled and he was shooketh.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Now here's the thing. We're not reviewing that cheeseburger, but do you think eating that cheeseburger influenced what you're going to have to say about the tiny tacos? I mean, I already have a lot to say about the tiny tacos i don't know if there's room wow jordan uh no i do not think that at all oh he's very easy to discern yeah he had more time to think about it yeah i get it you put me in the hot seat and i try and uh buy time for jordan i guess i guess the thing with you is that you ate all your little tacos and then you went, is this my cheeseburger? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And it was. And it was yours. And it was theirs. And everyone else had theirs. And you just went, is this one mine? I don't understand. What do you mean? I'm sitting next to a cereal non-finisher. He could have taken some bites
Starting point is 00:08:03 and thrown it back in the middle of the table. It's a valid question. I also did move mine as far away from you as possible. Yeah, because you hadn't taken an open day yet. Right. Yeah. But also, I could have easily grabbed this man's half-eaten slop. Then I'm infected.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I would have done you a favor. I think mine had salmonella in it, to be honest. Oh, no. Every time we go to Jack in the Box, I just go, time to get dead. This could be my last meal. This is our first three-peat. What a last meal. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Because Jordan pointed it out. The third one. What a restaurant. Jordan pointed it out. And it's the second time we're eating the tiny-ass tacos. What else did we eat? Exactly. The popcorn chicken box.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Oh, man. I didn't even remember what it was either. That was that fucked up episode, though. Michael's trying to flip the table. I was trying and then realized I could. Yeah, then it moved. It scared me. Guys, that was the episode that went viral.
Starting point is 00:08:58 That's the one that everyone's talking about. What's the joke you're talking about when you say it went viral? I don't understand the context. There's no joke. It was just everywhere. It was on the front page of Spotify. It was on Spotify, and they said hot this week. Was it in the newspaper?
Starting point is 00:09:12 You think Face Jam was in the newspaper? Well, if it's going viral, I mean, you need to see. You got to talk to the audience. I want to see it in da ink. That's what people call the newspaper now. They go, yo, I was reading this in the ink You gotta permeate every form of media Even the dead ones
Starting point is 00:09:30 Yo hey yo you catch that Facebook That Face Jam Facebook Drip in the ink It was in the Facebook And the ink I dripped Sheesh I can't tell if this is insensitive or not to ink, I dripped. Sheesh! I can't tell if this is insensitive or not.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Is this? You don't know. Jordan asking Gracie, is this okay? Kayla's not here to help you with that. Sorry. It's alright. She felt it. I think somewhere at home she just went sheee. Just into the ether. Who's Kayla?
Starting point is 00:10:04 It's a friend of mine. Oh, okay. Are we wet or what? I don't know. We were kind of all over the place there. We were kind of, we were just kind of, it wasn't, I don't know if we wet our whistle. I more felt like we maybe went down a slip and slide. Because we were gaining speed, but I didn't know where we were going.
Starting point is 00:10:22 It was one direction, but we just couldn't see. Are we in the grass now? I'm getting muddy. Someone get me a hog. We were on a slide at Action Park. We flew over the pool and landed on the concrete. When you leave certain rides and stuff, it's like, don't forget your belongings. It's like, don't forget your head.
Starting point is 00:10:44 It may have come off during the ride. Don't forget your lawyer's phone, don't forget your belongings. It's like, don't forget your head. It may have come off during the ride. Don't forget your lawyer's phone number. Yeah, no kidding. Jesus. Well, that's today's food. We did it. You crossing things out as we go? That's cool. So now we're getting into wet and dry. I didn't cross the intro off because I feel like we could still do a better one
Starting point is 00:11:00 somewhere down the road. Okay, cool. If we need to come back to it. You never know. We might have to do a second one. The computer could like explode or something. You mean a third one. That's true. I forgot about it. We're 11 minutes in. Whatever rabbit hole
Starting point is 00:11:16 we're in, we're deep in it. I think it's weird that this is our first. We kind of touched on it. It's weird that this is our first three-peat, but I don't think we could pass up the like, they brought back the tiny tacos, but made the bread. No way. My first thought was, why are we doing that? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:11:31 They're the same thing, but red. I don't even know literally what the difference is. What do you mean? Visually, they were different. The end. I think Eric really liked the tiny tacos, and he just wanted to eat them. Well, I was hoping these weren't even being pushed by Sonic the Hedgehog. I was hoping Sonic the Hedgehog would be there.
Starting point is 00:11:48 He wasn't anywhere. Get the bubbles or you drown. I mean, the two guys who were arguing out in front of the Jack in the Box when we went, I think were probably trying to go fast like Sonic the Hedgehog through other means. They were going slow.
Starting point is 00:12:05 And then boom, they were on their way. the hedgehog through other means. They were going slow. They were like, jeez. And then boom, they were on their way. Those were two guys that looked like they walked everywhere. But not in a healthy way. No. You know what I mean? In a Jay and Silent Bob kind of way. It's like, you know when you see those lizards that skitter across the sand in the desert? It was kind of like that. That's the way it looked like they moved. when you see those lizards that skitter across the sand in the desert?
Starting point is 00:12:25 It was kind of like that. That's the way it looked like they moved. They also look like lizards. I didn't get the reptilian vibe you guys got, but they were just hanging out, smoking a bunch of weed, having a meat pie. Not behind the Jack in the Box, just right next to the front door. Right next to it. It looked like a situation where you have some employees smoking a cigarette in the back,
Starting point is 00:12:50 but they weren't in the back, and I don't think they worked. So it was very weird. They were taking their break. Not from there. Just at there. They were having an argument where one guy was just smoking weed
Starting point is 00:13:07 and then handing it to the other guy, and he would smoke. But one of the guys was really pissed at the other, just going, you came to me, and you came to my face, and you lied to me, to my face. That's not a man. A man does not lie to my face. And the other guy was just going, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh, yep, yep, uh-huh. Maybe he was saying you
Starting point is 00:13:25 as in like a third guy they were talking about. Yeah, they were talking about someone else and like what you missed as we were walking up was, and then I said to him, oh, yeah. You were too busy screaming about not getting the burger. You then ordered two minutes later. Don't laugh, Gracie, don't laugh at that.
Starting point is 00:13:43 I don't know if we wet our whistle, but I think those guys did. Do you think those drinks that were on the counter were ours or no? Because we didn't order drinks. There was somebody still waiting for food. Yeah, but they didn't take the drinks. He never took the drinks.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I think that was them saying they're sorry that they ran out of tacos, which you kept screaming the entire ride back, it's the second day. It's the second day! They were out! They're like five! I didn't know what he was talking about
Starting point is 00:14:11 because it just kind of came in and he went, it's the second day! I had to look it up. I had to be sure. We were talking about something else. What was he talking about? And he made a noise that was like,
Starting point is 00:14:20 I have something to say. I had to look it up. Guys, I know we're all on the same page here. I'm just going to say what we're all thinking. It's the second day. It's the second day. I've confirmed it. And we were like, what?
Starting point is 00:14:32 Yesterday was the first. I had to look it up. Yesterday was the first day they had the spicy tiny tacos. And we went and they had five orders. Michael is right. He's like, if we would have been half an hour later, we might not have gotten any tiny tacos. That would have been insane if they just said, we're out.
Starting point is 00:14:48 And let me tell you, there wasn't a rush. No. It was 1230 and there were two people in there besides us. Yep. And one guy was already, I don't even think he was eating. He was just kind of working on his laptop in the corner. I think he was watching those guys argue outside, but through the window.
Starting point is 00:15:05 He's like, this is great dialogue for my screenplay. That I'm writing it jack and pop. I mean, if you want peace and quiet and nobody to come in and bother you, that's the place to do it. Yeah, no kidding. Strategically, we went to a different jack in the box than we went to the first time we had it. Was that a strategy?
Starting point is 00:15:22 Yeah, it was something we talked about before you got here. A lot of moving parts in this show. Remember how sad the first one was? That first Jack in the Box was? You were like wearing a track suit and there was a woman painting her nails, like getting ready for like an interview, but not at the Jack in the Box.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Everybody looked like they were like on parole. Like it was like, oh, what's happening? I struggled to remember something from a week ago. Let me tell you we were walking in and Nick's like yeah he's like make sure we get extra sauce you know you remember what happened last time and I went
Starting point is 00:15:54 no I don't remember what happened what are you talking about and he was like oh they didn't give us enough sauce and I was like I don't I don't and he goes you were the one upset about it and I was like I find that hard to believe and he goes yeah remember cause there wasn't enough it. And I was like, I find that hard to believe. And he goes, yeah, remember? Because there wasn't a swap. And I go, oh yeah, because you took it all. Yep. That's, it wasn't
Starting point is 00:16:10 that he didn't give us enough. You used too much. That's not how Nick remembers it. And then you used like nine packets. And then he was hiding his used packets underneath like trash. So that way we wouldn't see his shame. Then, then flash forward to now,
Starting point is 00:16:26 we were sitting down getting ready to eat and he throws out the bag. He hands them out like, Daddy has the packets. Here's your ration. Here's your allotment. And I went, oh, thanks for the three packets. And he went, I have more.
Starting point is 00:16:41 But you have to finish those first and then ask me. You have to prove that you're worthy of more sauce. And then he kind of went, I'm going to waste them. He's got to take them home. He had another one of those moments right as you were taking the bags when they were finally done because we were waiting
Starting point is 00:16:55 a while and I went, oh, did he get extra sauce? And it was immediately like, oh shit he better. He was like, yo get sauce. He went from like trailing behind you with us to his nose in the bag. Making sure there was enough sauce. Well, I think we wet our whistle. Not great, but could be worse.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah, it's true. That was his assessment. His assossment. Assossment. Ooh, I like that. Yeah, he likes it. Let's read some facts. Don't let your father-in-law take that from you.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Jesus Christ. You missed. He did it again. You looked down. He also did that when I brought up Sonic the Hedgehog. He was going to kill. Does the Sox monkey have a natural rivalry with Sonic the Hedgehog? Where he's going to shoot him in the back of the head execution style?
Starting point is 00:17:48 Monkey standing, Sonic's kneeling. So he's at a downward angle. He says, dodge this. No, you're too slow. Are you faster than a bullet? And then he shoots him and all these rings pop out. Bullshit. He goes, damn, one more and I'm done for.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Now, let's, oh wait. It's time for the facts. It's time for Jordan's haiku. No, remember last episode? This was a fortnight ago, so you probably don't remember. But I said, once we go back to restaurants that already had one, I wasn't going to do another one. And also, I did two last time for Jack in the Box.
Starting point is 00:18:27 So, really, we got like so many in our pocket. But you say that too. Didn't you do two because one was really like, ooh, we shouldn't use that one? It was questionable. Well, you hated the first one, and I was like, okay, here's this other one. And you hated that one more. I want to say I probably hated the second one. The first one probably made me uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:18:49 It's probably what happened. You're remembering it backwards. You don't remember what happened last week. But you can do like a haiku on the fly, right? You call it like a fly-ku. Whoa. Why is it so important that we do another haiku about a restaurant we already had a haiku about? Because you introduced us.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Why is it important we rate the food, Jordan? You're the one who wanted to do the haiku. I want you to do it. This is your time to shine. But now I'm saying we're not going to do the haiku. And now my opinion doesn't mean anything. And that, teacher, is why I didn't do my haiku. I'll take my A, please.
Starting point is 00:19:25 You're welcome. You're misconstruing the dynamic between... Eric is the pupil. Whoa. Give me this. We are the king bugs. Eric cannot tell us what to do.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Did you give me an E? Did you give me an E? You got an E for Eric. Did you give me an E? You gave me an E? You got an E for Eric. Decent work, but you can do better. No F. But it's definite, but I'll be honest, it's definitely not a D.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Make sure you write it in a way that he can't fill in those E gaps. Oh, no, he turned it into a B. Oh, dude, I mean, that's a pretty big upgrade. An E into a B. Did your parents often look at your Bs and go, was this an E? There's no way you got a B on this. That's an E.
Starting point is 00:20:16 He definitely got an E. Oh, man. Alright, I guess. No haiku. One of the facts. Alright, here. Flyku. Alright no haiku One of the facts Alright here Flyku Okay Eric Want
Starting point is 00:20:27 Haiku You could've just said wants No Oh yeah that's right Whatever Yep uh huh So far so good He says
Starting point is 00:20:37 It's so Important But I disagree See I mean, not about the restaurant anyway. Yeah, it wasn't about Jack in the Box at all. But it was a fly-coup. So now do we add the fly-coups after the
Starting point is 00:20:52 haikus? Yeah, that's tough. Alright, I'll have to remember. Jack in the Box facts. Third set? Yeah, baby. It's the third set of facts? I didn't know there were enough facts to do this. Yeah, there aren't. I don't want to do the facts anymore, but I still do them. That just tells you that show. The third set of facts? I didn't know there were enough facts. Yeah, there aren't. I don't want to do the facts anymore, but I still do them.
Starting point is 00:21:07 That just tells you the first fact sheet probably could have been. Right, what else would we talk about if we didn't have facts? Yeah, that's true. That's what I'm saying. Dead air! We'd sit here quietly. Dead air! 15 minutes?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Oh, boy. Our previous Jack in the Box episode was released April 27th, 2021. But who cares? Because last time we ate tiny tacos and loaded tiny tacos, it received an average score of 65.15. Somebody was fucking around with the rating on that episode. That is weird. We ate Jack in the Box in April? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Is that right? Yep. That doesn't sound right. That is when we ate Jack in the Box in April? Yeah. Is that right? Yep. That doesn't sound right. That is when we did Jack in the Box. The thing is, it's hard to- That's three months ago. Uh-huh. Almost four is the shocking part.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Jesus Christ. I think that's why you think April was sooner than it is. We ate this a month ago? That was just a third of the year ago. The months are alphabetical, right? April, August. Which month starts with E? Jack in the Box first revealed new spicy mini tacos
Starting point is 00:22:18 at their recent Jack's Late Night Discord online event, which they described as quote ultimate late-night after party for gaming and comic book lovers end quote as it came at the tail end of this year's comic-con which was also online only this sucks imagine imagine that you're so fucking hard up that you join the jack-in-the-box discord server and then you just go gotta hop in see what's going on at jack-in-the-box that's fucking crazy do you have a link it's a place it's a place for like-minded individuals you know what i mean let me tell you if we jumped in that server we could probably be running it oh we would take it
Starting point is 00:23:02 over yes if we're if we're ever looking for new bugs, this should be our new target. We just hit up tiny little restaurant Discord servers. And then take them over? Yeah. What we do is, you know, we Not the Burger King one, though.
Starting point is 00:23:19 We take a bunch of little ones. We'll take that one and then just run it into the ground. We take a bunch of little ones and We'll take that one and then just run it into the ground. We take a bunch of little ones and then little do they know they're just a little piece of our bug army. Then we create a new Discord server and we push them all in there and then we make them listen to
Starting point is 00:23:36 Face Jam. That's smart. That's really good. See, this is good thinking. So now we have to invade Jack in the box? I like when I don't think it's so much invade as walk through the door pleading with someone to join their discord what the hell jack's late night discord online event yeah it's for it's the ultimate late night after party oh after party yeah for gaming and comic book lovers didn't you write this yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot how it was. You know when you're at a party and someone goes, no, man, like, I still got Steam.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Everybody, where's the after party? And you say, oh, on Jack in the Box Discord server. That's where. Whoa, this is the ultimate late night after party. And then you're transported to a land of tiny tacos and just chill vibes. I love gaming and comic books. Thanks, Jack in the Box Discord server. Did they do some sort of live stream thing to only people who were there?
Starting point is 00:24:34 I think so. How do you think this info got out? I mean, they could have just posted a picture in general. I'm just wondering what the grandiose was. Do you think they have voice servers at the Jack in the Box Discord server? And then it's just like, I just imagine it's hate-filled. That's just why I'm wondering if there's a link or not. It is on the internet.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Odds are good. I'm joining ironically. Just want to be clear. For now. Guys, it's not as bad as you thought. They're actually making a lot of good points. I didn't think I'd say this, but fourth trip?
Starting point is 00:25:12 You have no idea what they're cooking up. I'm going to retroactively change my scores. Check in the box. 1,055 It is that, right? I started drawing all over this paper. 1,055. It is that, right? I started drawing all over this paper. No, that's right. 1,055 of their tacos are eaten each minute,
Starting point is 00:25:30 adding up to a total of 554 million per year. This does not include tiny tacos, which would add dozens onto that yearly number, because who buys these? I mean, originally it was who the fuck would buy this, but now I have to assume they don't even make enough for them to make an impact on the amount of tacos. Right, you can't order more than five boxes at a time.
Starting point is 00:25:56 At the entire store. Second day! Second day. Somebody probably went in after us. There's probably the Grackle podcast where they eat the food. They're waiting. The birds just go order themselves?
Starting point is 00:26:06 They were waiting for other people to order them and eat them in the parking lot. And no one else, everyone's going to order them and they go, no, we do not have the brand new thing. Can I interest you in this three-layered garbage cheeseburger? These fucking dipshits seemed to want it when they were here. Again, I bet the double would have been much better. For some reason, he insisted on the triple. They use different meat for the triple.
Starting point is 00:26:30 What? Well, because there's more burgers, so to save money, they use a lesser quality meat. No. Yeah, fact check that. Not shy about being part of history, Jack in the Box has a vintage speaker box in an exhibit at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. Imagine taking a European friend to that exhibit and they say, this is American history? And you just have to say yes like an asshole.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And I assume apologize profusely afterward. We should leave. We should leave. I'm sorry. We should leave. No, but I heard there's a two-story McDonald's as part of the museum as well. Well, we should leave the museum and go to a two-story McDonald's. Equally as much in American history. I mean, I went to a two-story McDonald's in France. Wow. They have American history in France?
Starting point is 00:27:24 I went to order at the computer and I was like, yo, your English is broken. It doesn't make sense to my brain. I was like, either you guys fucked up the alphabet or I hit my head. I don't understand it.
Starting point is 00:27:40 And I started getting angry and stomping around. You guys fucked up the alphabet? Yeah. It's guys fucked up the alphabet. The alphabet's all fucked up. They started putting dots and tails on the letters. It was fucking crazy. I started hyperventilating and they said order or get the fuck out of the way.
Starting point is 00:27:57 That sounds right. Weird that they spoke English. They did. That's the only phrase they knew. They learned it phonetically. It's like, oh, this guy's American. We have to break this out. Now, the final fact of the third Jack in the Box fact sheet. Although their attempt at fast casual failed with JBX,
Starting point is 00:28:20 Jack in the Box has since taken a stab at other venues and hit it medium. Ventures. Good one. Like the brothers. And hit it medium with Qdoba, the restaurant you've seen on the street and said, is that a Chipotle? Then get closer and go, oh, never mind, and then go to find a Chipotle.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Have you ever eaten a Qdoba? No. Of course he has. How's their sauce? You didn't finish the sentence and he had thumbs up and he said sauce is okay. I took my wife there. First date. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:28:52 He did. He said, he said, I did. Man. I'm telling you, gold mine. Like a diamond in the rough. He eats everywhere. I mean, even Michael has places he won't go. It's not even I won't go.
Starting point is 00:29:11 I've never heard of it. Or it's like, where is that? This man's not only been there, he's raided the sauce. He's brought friends. He's gone back with his wife. He didn't just go. He has things to say, and he remembers them. It's just like you didn't finish the sentence.
Starting point is 00:29:27 He's like, been there. That was the sauce. It was okay. Took my wife. Going back next month. Jesus Christ. It's crazy. Yep.
Starting point is 00:29:35 I couldn't compete. No. God, no. No. We really hit a gold mine with Nick's knowledge of places I've never wanted to go to. Nick's knowledge. Ooh. Did you hear that? I heard them both. That's great.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Hey, Gracie, you been to Qdoba? I have. Is it good? Okay, there you go. Well, to be fair, he didn't say how the restaurant was. He only said how the sauce was. What he says how he rates it, is that going to influence you? No, I'm
Starting point is 00:30:05 just saying, I'm just saying it's funny that you asked Gracie, how was the restaurant? Uh-huh. And it just dawned on me, no one even asked me. Jordan just said, how was the sauce? Same reply from both of them. Uh-huh. But he went, hmm, not on the food in any way. To be fair, he didn't eat
Starting point is 00:30:21 the food, he just sucked a couple packets. That's what I assume he goes in there for. He said, not great, and then took 20 home with him. These suck. Whoa, your packet's bigger. Just so you know, my dad's coming over later. No! Hide it all.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Hide it all. He can have the Kadova sauce. He goes into the garage and he starts hitting the cement floor with a sledgehammer. Pulls out his trunk, fucking John Wick style. Puts all the sauce in it. Puts it back in and starts laying down fresh concrete. Put the cement! He's coming!
Starting point is 00:30:57 He's coming! Yeah, I'm starting to think I'm back. Oh my god. He took my sauce. They killed my sauce dog. It's just Nick driving around in the van. You took my sauce. You took the monkey sauce! Don't you know who you're messing with?
Starting point is 00:31:26 I can't wait to see the monkey head Photoshopped That's awesome The sauce packet has to be the size of the dog It was a big sauce packet It's like that honey mustard Oh, I forgot about Where was that from? It was Subway Yeah, I forgot about... Where was that from? Subway?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Subway? Yeah, I guess it was. No. Quiznos. I only know it wasn't Subway. There's a couple of weird things. Subway was the pizza. Subway was the pizza. The three things I thought of was Subway was the pizza, the big
Starting point is 00:32:01 packet, package. Packet doesn't do it justice. Honey mustard and then the wine. From Olive Garden. Gracie, just so you know, Michael found out that you can order a side of honey mustard on the Quiznos app or website and it's not just to give you a packet.
Starting point is 00:32:17 It's the bag. It's the bag that they put in the gun to shoot it onto the sandwich. Yeah, it was like a pound of honey mustard. So he left with a pound of honey mustard in a sandwich. And everyone there must have been thinking, this guy fucking loves honey mustard! And there's no way to reseal it!
Starting point is 00:32:33 It's like, what? It's just like a plastic bag. You rip it open and now it's open. Because they assume you're a restaurant who's going to put it in the bottles. Jordan, some people have called me a restaurant. Welcome to Mikey's. Come on inside. That's what I say to my food
Starting point is 00:32:50 before I eat. This guy's putting it away like he's a restaurant. Oh, man. And those are just the facts. We learned a lot. None of it was an haiku. We remembered some, too. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:33:29 you'll find a two-kilometer-wide sand beach, variety of pools, world-class spa, and unlimited a la carte dining to ensure unforgettable memories. Book now and transform your family holiday into the adventure of a lifetime. Can we talk about the newest McDonald's meal? Oh, yeah. Michael gave himself a B plus on that. Are you sure it's not an E that he changed? No, I saw him.
Starting point is 00:33:53 I saw him. It was all B, baby. All right. It's actually not a B plus. It's a BT. What's the T stand for? I'll tell you later. That's what it stands for.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Okay. Yeah. So did you get the Gracie, is it pronounced sweetie? It's gotta be so-weedy. I don't know, I'm asking you. I'm just saying it's like, it's S-A-W. It's gotta be
Starting point is 00:34:15 so-weedy. See, Gracie knows. Edit out the part where I didn't know. Thank you. Did you get it? No. I got a flyer for it. What? The thing I put in the Slack, that was a thing they handed me.
Starting point is 00:34:30 It was like a... Oh, I've seen that. I went to McDonald's. I went to McDonald's and with my food, they gave me like a little card flyer. Have you heard the good news?
Starting point is 00:34:38 Yeah. And I just went, and that's why I put it in the Slack and I said, hot off the presses. That's like a card on my counter. I thought you got it. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:34:49 I didn't even get it, but I got the ad for it and I put it on my refrigerator. So I didn't forget. That's hanging up by a magnet. McDonald's says the so-eaty meal is... I still feel like you're saying it wrong. Yeah. I mean, that's just cause you're looking at me. There's no way he's saying it right.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Maybe it's saw eating. Oh, it is the saw eating meal. So the saw eating meal on the McDonald's website says the iciest summer collab is finally here. A big Mac four piece chicken McNugget, medium fry, a medium Sprite with Saweetie.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Oh, no, it is Saweetie because it's Saweetie and sour in Taggy barbecue sauces. They made a new sauce for her? I mean, it's the sweet and sour. No, I think it's sweet and sour. But they're calling it Saweetie and sour. Right. They are calling it Saweetie and sour. Is it still green?
Starting point is 00:35:42 Here's just a picture of her drinking Sprite. They made a new sign for it. They show the food, and they're like, here's the food. And then here's just a picture of her drinking for it it's they show the food and they're like here's the food and then here's just a picture of her enjoying a sprite but what you said doesn't really do it justice it's just a bunch of food now normally right the mcdonald's thing they started is hey this is what this famous person orders yeah you just order this somewhat custom and you just get what they get yeah this is just the shit you do in elementary school or middle school where you just take all your food apart and then stack it together for no reason. Or rearrange it.
Starting point is 00:36:10 That's what it is. It's like a Big Mac with no top and french fries on the top burger. That is what it is. You dump fries on your McNuggets. No one fucking, no adult orders that and eats that. It's a McNugget sandwich with the sauce on the bun it's just it's just the four things that mcdonald's sells yep but like take the bun off and put french fries on it like so weedy uh big mac when you give off big mac energy like so weedy it's only right
Starting point is 00:36:39 you order the big mac okay four piece chicken mcnugget. Chicken McNuggets are the perfect finger food to show off your nails. Sprite. Keep it icy with a cold Sprite. Is icy like her thing? You gotta help us. I'll be honest, for a Saweetie expert, our resident Saweetie expert, weie is not so much.
Starting point is 00:37:07 We're all in our 30s. Much like Eric screaming that we needed the control tacos that we didn't get and we're not getting the cheeseburgers that he did order, he on the way in kept saying, Gracie will know. Gracie will know. Gracie will tell us all about Saweetie.
Starting point is 00:37:23 You are fucking batting a hundred today, let me tell you. Ice on my wrist, but my fry's always golden. Cool. Same sweet and sour sauce, just a little iced out for the drop. Plus, you get it with barbecue sauce to make your meal complete.
Starting point is 00:37:39 This is what Michael was saying earlier about Facebook. It really is just the sweet and sour sauce. Yeah, that's what I said. Remember I said, is it green? Yeah, it is. That's insane. I like how Eric just started talking like Michael was talking earlier. Here's the thing, too. Is this on Da Inc? Here's the thing, too.
Starting point is 00:37:56 That's because I'm hipping with it. Now you look like assholes because you're like, oh shit, this is what McDonald's has paid like $400 million to sell in like marketing budget. I'm over here just spitting it for free. Dripping. Dog.
Starting point is 00:38:11 What's funny about that too is, what's funny about that is it doesn't even read like, and the flyer is the same thing. It doesn't even read like, hey, here's the thing. This is what we're doing. It's just like a bunch of random sentences. It's like a fucking telegram. It's like Big Mac, french's the thing. This is what we're doing. It's just like a bunch of random sentences like it's like a fucking telegram like It's like Big Mac french fries stop stop chicken nuggies. You know you love them stop It's just so bizarre even to read it. It felt like you were you were six different people just now Anyway, so coming soon. Yeah, I mean
Starting point is 00:38:48 reading that anyway so coming soon yeah i mean is that a meal that we get do we do it i mean it's weirder than the fucking travis scott i will say it's the most unique one that they've done so far no the bts one's the most the most unique one well they did get a special sauce for that one right which would make it more unique but this is just a big mac but it's a little late for that one so right so why would we do the one if we think maybe it can come back around, why would we do the one that doesn't seem like it's going to be anything? Well, because we already did one that was lesser than that. What's the one that we did? The Travis Scott.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Did we do Travis Scott? Yeah. We did do Travis Scott. Well, we did in a way, though. Did you eat the Travis Scott meal? Probably. Yeah. I mean, we did do the 21 Pilots bullshit.
Starting point is 00:39:23 We did do that. Oh. Yeah. I honestly forgot we didn't do the Travis Scott. We didn't do the 21 Pilots bullshit. We did do that. Yeah. I honestly forgot we didn't do the Travis Scott meal. But they kicked off the trend, and then everyone started doing it, and then we were doing it, and then I just assumed we did it. We didn't do it. Oh.
Starting point is 00:39:35 No. So now we have to do it. Why would we have to do this? Because this is the third one. McDonald's is running the show. We're missing out like assholes. This is like the fifth one. Whatever. We need to be cool. Even more of the
Starting point is 00:39:45 point. We need to be cool and not do it. We're over here looking like assholes like Burger King. Even more of the point. This is like we gotta get that drip. Wait. I wanna get that
Starting point is 00:40:01 Saweetie and Sour drip. It's weird when you say it. I don't know. It was super cool when you said it. I think we just wait for like a... Because this one is just a Big Mac and chicken nuggets and a Sprite.
Starting point is 00:40:16 We need to wait for one that's in Eric's demographic that he knows. Well, no, there's not like a unique sauce. If there's like the unique sauce... Like the unique sauce was what... It used to be Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Starting point is 00:40:24 I wanted to do the BTS one on the unique sauce was what because i wanted to do the bts one on the show but we ended up doing other stuff but it was like that that has like a unique sauce so it's not it's not unique enough is what you're saying for for that yeah no i agree this is just eating okay mcdonald's but eating the exact same tiny tacos twice these are not the exact same tiny tacos they were red they were They were red. There was no hedgehog. Like, this is a different taco. This is a weird episode to argue it's not different enough on an episode where we fucking literally ate this thing, and it's goddamn no different in any way.
Starting point is 00:40:57 We all sat here going, is this the same thing? What's different? It's red. And then there's just Nick going, oh, put the hot sauce in it. It's better. Put the hot sauce in it. Is it? Oh, man. I put hot sauce on the, this burger's awful.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Put hot sauce on it. It's better with the sauce. They did the Alex Jones thing where it's just, what's the difference? What's the difference? It's red. They had tiny doggos and they said six months later. It's red now. These things got so red.
Starting point is 00:41:38 That's why you can't get them. That's why they ran out. People want to get tiny and red. It's just like the Alex Jones picture. I'd like one little red ape taco, please.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Well, Jordan, do you want to teach us about what these foods were even though we didn't get one of them? I'll read both anyway. Jack in the Box Spicy Tiny Tacos. The regular ones. If you like our tiny tacos
Starting point is 00:42:13 and want to add a little kick, as in spice, we know a guy. Alex Jones. That's the guy. And then it says, you know him too. It's Jack. It's AJ. You cowards.
Starting point is 00:42:38 I like that it also presupposes that you are familiar with what tiny tacos are. Well, you saw him. The hedgehog said eat them. The loaded spicy tiny tacos. Spicy tiny tacos underestimated your hunger. This means war. What the fuck is happening? This means war and they're calling for reinforcements. What?
Starting point is 00:42:56 Cheddar cheese sauce, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce topped with a zigzag of taco sauce. Wait, what happened? What happened? What happened? What happened in those first two sentences? This is war! I like how, like, the first one is just like, it's spicy. And then this one's like, ah! Reinforcements!
Starting point is 00:43:17 Battlestations! This is not a drill. What? That was a twist I didn't see coming. Also, also the description of like, there's definitely
Starting point is 00:43:27 cheese sauce. Shredded cheese? No, none, zero. Not sure about that. Not sure about that at all. Because,
Starting point is 00:43:33 well, I'll save it, but yeah, I find that hard to believe. I might have to refute that. Is it like, they're claiming they're inside the tacos?
Starting point is 00:43:41 If there are, there's like a single shred per taco. I don't think there's any cheese inside the taco. I think it's supposed to be topped. Also, mine was not a zigzag of sauce. No, mine was a glob of sauce on top of a bunch of lettuce.
Starting point is 00:43:53 It was interesting. I didn't have a zigzag. I just had two zigs. I had a zig-zig. No zig-zig. Yeah. Telling you to run zig-z, but calling them zig-zigs. Yeah, it was all zig, no zag. And he just keeps going left.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I looked over to Nick and I said, do you have my zag? This sucks. Oh, man. Man. Someone at another restaurant got a zag-zag. Did you get my zag and shredded cheese? I'm dying over here. There's a ton of lettuce and shredded cheese. I'm dying over here. There's a ton of lettuce
Starting point is 00:44:27 and shredded cheese and only zags. What happened? Three lines of sauce all going in the same direction. Everything's going to the right. Oh, no. We sent all the zags to one store
Starting point is 00:44:36 and the zigs to the other. Oh, man. That's why they stopped selling them. That's it. Yeah. They're getting recalled. They had a million tacos but they had no more zags. They only had zigs. We can why they stopped selling them. That's it. They're getting recalled. They had a million tacos, but they had no more Zags. They only had Zigs.
Starting point is 00:44:48 We can't just do Zigs. All right, Jordan, teach us about the press material. Here's the press material. Via Food Beast. Oh, so you can find a actual quote. Oh, there was nothing. Via Food Beast. Quote, it looks as if the mega popular tiny tacos have a fiery new makeover with the taco shells having a distinct and vibrant red color, which I'm sure is the indicator to the spicy new tweak to the original.
Starting point is 00:45:14 These hot new spicy tiny tacos are set to launch at Jack in the Box locations on August 9th. Which was yesterday. Which they don't mention. Get them while you can. Can I just say. Which was yesterday. Which they don't mention. Get them while you can. Can I just say... Limited. Limited! Can I reach a point in my life where people start calling me food beast? Yeah, is that what you want?
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah. Oh, is that our new... We got the sauce monkey and Colin Scraggle? I don't know about this. A spice rat and a food beast? Oh shit, not a food beast. Just food beast. I'm food beast. Not a food beast. I was talking to food beast the other day Oh yeah FB
Starting point is 00:45:47 He was roaring about something No zags apparently Food beast I love that Man oh Jesus I'm food beast Also just like What kind of press material is that?
Starting point is 00:46:05 It's from a blog. Not you picking it, I'm just saying the person that wrote this, with the taco shells having a distinct and vibrant red color, which I'm sure is the indicator to the spicy new tweak to the original. Yeah, no shit. One, no shit.
Starting point is 00:46:22 He had a word quota. Also, who gives a fuck what color it is yeah i don't know how this food tastes but i like the color look all pretty patties all i'm saying is that if we're looking to take over if we could take over jack in the box discord you can probably just take over the food beast website and then you can become the food again i don't want the website and i don't want to do it. I want someone to just be like, hey, you know what your name is? You're Food Beast.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Oh, man. And I'm like, yeah. And then that's it? Yeah, that's it. And then I live up to the name. Then Food Beast goes on a hunt. Okay. Oh, my God, what happened?
Starting point is 00:47:04 I became Food Beast. Oh, boy. Oh, that explains it happened? I became a food beast. Oh boy. Oh, that explains it. Getting the food. Yep. Was anyone depressed and painting their nails on a table inside? No, it was mostly empty. No, it was pretty bright.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Do you know why it was so bright? Because of all those lamps? There are so many light fixtures inside this Jack in the Box. Well, which ones? Well, the one that Jordan ran to. Well, there were three because there are three different kinds. We took pictures. There's one that's just like a red kind of box.
Starting point is 00:47:33 There's ones that are just like a sphere. Dome, yeah. And then there's one that is a chandelier. A chandelier. That was the one that I spotted. Like a candelabra. But there's a light bulb onra? And it was like- There's a light bulb on the middle.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Yeah, like the top middle. And then just the shape of candles on each of the arms of the chandelier. You would think that they would have- Those would be the lights. And then they went, no, just put a light bulb. Too many lights. Just one light bulb in the middle. Fucking insane.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Jack in the Box is weird, man. That was a very weird Jack in the Box. Also, they had a soda machine that didn't work. That was, that Coke Freestyle looked sad. That was like a sad Coke Freestyle machine that was just off and had no color anywhere on it. That was weird. I'm sure it was just unplugged.
Starting point is 00:48:16 No, no, no. Not just the screen. The sides, like, did not have any of, like, the red. The logo was, like, all fucking grayed out. Like, there was nothing. That thing was nothing. It looked like a refrigerator. E-. E- for sure. They're skirting. Uh-oh. Watch out.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Alright. Let's get into the food. What do you think? What did I read the last time we ate this? I think... I'm not going to try to remember, but I think I know what we can do because they're exactly the same.
Starting point is 00:48:50 You should see my review in the previous episode, word for word, add, but they're more red this time. Well, they're not more red. They are red. Right, which would be more red than they were last time. Right, but last time that would say something like they were kind of red. They weren't red at all last time. Here's the thing. Now, usually, it's like
Starting point is 00:49:09 Jordan does his review and then rates it and then I'll do my review and rate it. The only difference, right? I mean, maybe there's a difference in the toppings. I doubt it. If you asked me to tell you, I couldn't tell you. They both just said loaded and there's some shit in there.
Starting point is 00:49:26 The only thing you can easily say is, oh, they're red, right? But then, oh, they're spicy. No, they're not. No. Literally, not in any. It's like food coloring. They're literally the exact same. Wherever the spice, quote unquote, is supposed to be,
Starting point is 00:49:42 it's not coming from those red shells. I'm telling you, we're not talking spice mouse. We're talking, wait,, is supposed to be. It's not coming from those red shells. I'm telling you, we're not talking spice mouse. We're talking wait, this is spicy? Literally absolutely nothing. Well, they're red. Did anyone taste any spice in any way? Gracie, were they spicy? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Emphatically not. I'm eating it going, you know, a lot of times you eat something spicy and go, oh, that's too spicy or that's really, or that's not spicy. This was like, wait, if they weren't red, that's the only reason I was looking for spice. I mean, it's fucking red. Like, you expect, like, oh, is it going to be red? According to Food Beast, it's like a flaming hot Cheeto.
Starting point is 00:50:20 I think this vibrant red color is the indicator of the spicy new tweak to the original. And you would think that would be the indication. It's red like a flaming hot Cheeto. It is. And you bite it and it's nothing. Absolutely nothing. We ate the same tacos. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:36 No, they're not the same tacos. It's the exact same tacos. You think they're different? I give it a 65.15. I give it a 65.15. I give it a 65.15. What the fuck? All right, well, that's an average score of 65. We ate the same thing.
Starting point is 00:50:50 The same food. We're doing the same episode. We went to a restaurant a third time to eat a food we've already eaten there before. We went to a restaurant a third time to eat a food a second time. restaurant a third time to eat a food a second time. At least the popcorn chicken one was popcorn chicken. Whatever we do, though, don't get the Saweetie meal. It's not
Starting point is 00:51:13 different enough. Yeah. It's not red. Let me roll the Big Mac and ketchup first. Then maybe Eric will let us eat it. I just like, what? They just say they're back. The same thing we made is back. It's the same fucking thing. No, it's different.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Shut up. Well, it's red. No zag. And also, definitely no shredded cheese. Can I just, maybe this is, I don't know, man. After, here's the thing. The first Tiny Tacos, they were fine. They're okay. The regulars, I don't know, man. Here's the thing. The first Tiny Tacos, they were fine. They're okay.
Starting point is 00:51:47 The regulars, I remember, were like, loaded, we're good. Which is why, again, I said today, let's just get the loaded. We already know the other ones are disappointments. The fucking popcorn chicken, we were screwed. We were swindled. They gave us crumbs. And now, here we are, eating fucking Tiny Tacos
Starting point is 00:52:07 Alex Jones edition. Let's just not go to Jack in the Box anymore. I'm adding it to Long John Silver. We're putting it on the blacklist. I can only be burned too many times! Jack in the Box is officially blacklisted. No, they're jacklisted.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Oh! But no, I'm... That's it. I agree with you 100%. No, but they're going to have other... Nope. They're going to have other food that we should...
Starting point is 00:52:32 I will never try it! You are the pupil. We have... Quiet, little boy. Quiet. E minus. Stop blowing bubbles. But it's... Jack in the Box has other stuff
Starting point is 00:52:49 Why can't we ever get it Why do we make it eat the same taco It's not the same taco Where is the other stuff Why is it like pulling your veneers To get a fucking triple cheeseburger That okay So maybe the triple cheeseburger
Starting point is 00:53:03 So they have Triple cheeseburger. Okay, so maybe the triple cheeseburger is not a... See, they have stuff like that triple cheeseburger. You need an attitude adjustment, young man. We can't blacklist Jack in the Box. We can, and we just did. Until further notice. Until further notice, they're in the hole. They're the first restaurant to get
Starting point is 00:53:24 pushed into the hole. Yeah. Kicked. Because if Long John Silver lives down there, and then Long John Silver went, ooh, a friend. Long John Silver was born in the hole. Yeah. He was molded by it.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Right. By the time he saw the light, he was blinding. We have Spartan kicked Jack in the box in the hole. This is FaceTime. That was just suspiciously. He said it so flat. Yeah, that's the way toStream. That was just suspiciously He said it so flat. That's the way to say it. That was pretty good. Jack in the Box went, hey guys, do you like
Starting point is 00:53:50 these tiny tacos? What's this big hole behind me? I don't know. I'll just stand in front of it breezy. Okay, I guess we're blacklisting Jack in the Box. We'll throw him a rope if they kill Jack or something. They have to do something They've already done that before. They killed Jack? Oh, that's true. They already killed Jack something. Like, they have to do something. Oh. They've already, but they've done that before. Please stop.
Starting point is 00:54:05 They killed Jack? Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah, they already killed Jack before. Also, the monkeys started doing execution style on Jack again. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that time I kind of endorsed it.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Yeah. Yeah. They've killed Jack before, so it has to be. How? When? What? When?
Starting point is 00:54:19 We talked about it last time. In like the 80s, like 70s or 80s. They blew him up or something? Yeah, and then in the 90s, it was like, Jack is back. And now he's that guy who's like, hey, I'm Jack in the Box. And I'm wearing a suit. And get my antenna popper.
Starting point is 00:54:31 My food's not great. Check out my Discord server. The hottest after party in town. Do you love gaming? I'm pretty sure they just found a bunch of like leftover tiny tacos in a freezer. And then they went, well, we can't serve these. Look at what happened. They're all red now.
Starting point is 00:54:49 And then somebody went, hang on. And then Eric saw him on the Discord and went, they're red. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. The guys are going to love this. Unbelievable. No way they get blacklisted. unbelievable no way they get blacklisted i i agree with that 100 because if we're gonna go to a restaurant three times now we look foolish never before in this podcast it's true foolish and honestly
Starting point is 00:55:16 and honestly it's the closest we've come to needing to apologize we never will absolutely he should though he should issue one. He should issue one. Honestly. Yeah. You type one out. You type one out. Post your notes out. And then Nick reads it, but as the monkey, so he has to mime it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Great. Anyway, 65.15. Thanks. Let's get into Snack Attack. Yeah! Yeah! I've been thinking about it for five minutes yes can you believe it bulls wins bulls wins bulls win a plus three p can you believe it from downtown. Oh, mama. Your water just got struck. So I threw my crumpled up fact sheet into Eric's glass of water.
Starting point is 00:56:11 First try. Uh-huh. Oh, that makes me so happy. Look at it absorbing all of the water. Well, let's get into Snatch Jack in the box sinking to the bottom of the hole. It is. You can see it go.
Starting point is 00:56:21 You can see your BT going all the way down. I loved watching you sigh and then take your phone out and take a picture. Yeah! It's going to have to be there. We've been going for 56 minutes. All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Let's get to the end of this. This is Allison from Rhode Island. We're short. That's what you're saying. I just thought we have like half a page left. From Rhode Island, she's sending snacks
Starting point is 00:56:45 from her old and current states of Maryland and Rhode Island. Old Bay chips are for snack attack. Old Bay again? Marylanders put Old Bay on anything, everything, and all things. I know. Well, we had it at our RTX snack attack
Starting point is 00:57:01 and it tasted weird. So these are the Old Bay chips. I forget what we had that had Old Bay on them. They were different chips. But these are actual Old Bay. The other ones were crab chips. Yeah, they were different. There you go. Here's Old Bay chips. Hey, they're
Starting point is 00:57:18 red. Gracie, you want some Old Bay chips? Not after the face I made. Jordan doesn't like them. Jordan doesn't like them. Michael doesn't like them either. No, you're good. You didn't have to correct yourself. Oh, Eric doesn't like them.
Starting point is 00:57:33 They're not, I don't like them. What? It's like very, it's too herbal. Yeah, what the hell? It's incredibly herbal. Am I eating a plant? It does taste like, Gracie's right, it tastes like fish food. It's very fishy.
Starting point is 00:57:43 It's food for fish. Yeah. Club, club. Allison, terrible. Do you know's right It tastes like fish food It's very fishy It's food for fish Yeah Club, club Allison, terrible Do you know what fish food tastes like? Gracie does Has Gracie eaten fish food? Yeah, I'm leaning on our expert here Oh, this is when I feed my fish
Starting point is 00:57:54 I always check it for poison I don't want that You ate more I got a It's the first bite Is when it all hits you It's like closed And it just goes everywhere.
Starting point is 00:58:05 It's just confusing. It's incredibly aromatic. It's not like repulsive like that burger. But it's not good. No. It's weird. It's very weird. Don't eat these.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Why would you eat these? Yeah, don't eat these. If you buy these, you're just encouraging them to make more. And we don't want that. Yep. If people in Maryland eat these all the time, how come I don't remember anyone in The Wire having these that's wow yeah what checkmate okay uh so rate it was john munch in that the guy from law and order uh-uh he crosses over in other law he's in
Starting point is 00:58:39 like five he crosses over in not law and order shows he He's in Homicide, which is also in Baltimore. I couldn't remember if he was in The Wire or not. He crosses outside of Law & Order, too. Right. But he lives in New York. What's he doing in Baltimore? No, no. John Munch is the character.
Starting point is 00:58:55 John Munch is not an actor. Richard Belzer is the actor. Oh, I see. Check yourself, little red guy. All right? Nick really liked that. The score is 21. Yeah, I rate it 21 pilots.
Starting point is 00:59:13 All right. Average score, 21. She also sent us this lemonade mix that we'll have to try. It's a whole thing where you have to mix. Can you mix it with paper? No, two ounces of this packet with water, and then you have to mix it with ice, and then you have to put it in a blender.
Starting point is 00:59:27 And when I saw the blender thing, I just went, well, I'm not doing that. That's too much work. She also sent us Red's fermented hot sauce from Rhode Island. Nick can try that. I also sent some hot sauce for Nick from a very popular local company. I hope you all enjoy. I hope it doesn't have Old Bay in it. Guys, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:43 John Munch in episode took on the wire. Oh. There you go. Wow. He's an actor. I got to rewatch The Wire. So if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send to Face Jam.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Care of Eric Bedour. 1901 East 51st Street. Austin, Texas. 78723. You follow us on Twitter, on Instagram, at Face Jam Pod. Stay up to date on everything. Hey, we have our road trip coming up soon. We won't say exactly when, but it's
Starting point is 01:00:10 pretty soon, and that's going to be something. So thanks, Voodoo Ranger. Do we have a van update? Is it running? Yeah, yeah. It's running. He said we're not going to say when, like, we know, but we're not telling them. Yeah, we know. And the van's good. Can you tell me? Can you tell me when the band's good and
Starting point is 01:00:27 everything works and i'm excited to get in the van it'll be fun wow you're just you're just out here lying today huh store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs go check out the face jam retro collection the sauce monkey shirt compliments grackle hat donkey muscle shirt oh get the meal box yeah that's so much good stuff. Yeah, yeah. That meal box thing. Get your happy meal on. We should try to shoot something with that today.
Starting point is 01:00:50 With you. Don't say shoot to Nick. Okay. Yeah, execution style. I, this episode is not good for me. For my mouth. Here's the thing. A lot of bad tastes.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Well, the burger was bad. Those chips were bad. The tacos were decent, but I'm enraged because we ate them already. You're as red as those tacos. I'm getting hotter. What did we do here today? Nothing. We just spun our wheels for an hour. Gracie's just walked out.
Starting point is 01:01:22 She's just left. She says, you know what? This is what it is. You know what? I don't think I want this line of work. I'm good. I'm changing my major. You could be an archaeologist.
Starting point is 01:01:32 I heard Saweetie's looking for an intern. Bro, have you seen the way she eats a Big Mac? It just speaks to me. Trailblazer. I always thought you needed that top bone. Jordan, take us out. Get a load of this. The Munchiverse. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:01:50 I mean, he's dead. Covering my water. Wait, John Munch died? Richard Belzer died, the actor. Yeah, John Munch might still be alive. As far as we know. He just hasn't shown up in a couple of episodes. Alright, rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about this show where we eat the food and right, right. He just hasn't showed up in a couple of episodes. All right, rate and subscribe.
Starting point is 01:02:05 Tell a friend about this show where we eat the food and rate the food. Share it to someone who is red. What? Wait, did he die? The reddest friend you know. Share it with John Munch. Oh, I lied. He's still alive.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Yay! I was confusing Richard Belzer with Jerry Orbach. Oh, yeah, he's dead. Yep. Yep. The Munchiverse lives on. Yeah, yeah, he's dead. Yep. Yep. The Munchiverse lives on. Yeah, dude. Let's think we could get him on the podcast.
Starting point is 01:02:30 He wouldn't. Then the crossover, the entangled web. Well, here's the thing. We wouldn't let him talk, but he would just stand there. Right. And then he'd be in the photos. And then he would be like, oh, is that John Munch? He was on Face Jam.
Starting point is 01:02:44 He made an appearance on Face Jam. He was just put in character, solving some sort of mystery. The threads that are being connected. So Face Jam takes place in the Wire universe and Law and Order universe. Well, Dick Wolf's our executive producer, right? We definitely got a dick. What the fuck? Oh!
Starting point is 01:03:04 And the fucking podcast.! All right, end it. End the fucking podcast. Fail! Oh, F.

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