100% Eat - jambuLAnce

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

We watched ambuLAnce (jambuLAnce) with FIRST members on discord and now after a long wait, we're putting it out for you. Throw in the blu ray or rent it, we’ll have the time code so you can watchalo...ng. The only thing you need is the power of brotherhood and a fresh cup from your keurig. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting partners Sun Life. The world is yours to create. DQ presents how to officially start your summer. Step one, head to DQ.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Step two, try the new summer blizzard menu. And step three, dig into new peanut butter cookie dough party, new picnic peach gobbler, and more. Make it official. Only at DQ. Happy tastes good. Dun, dun, dun. No. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:00:32 You told Nick not to do that. You told him to not do that. Discord event of the millennia. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Thanks for fading it out, Eric. Jordan, we've also got Eric producing We've got Nick the sauce monkey hidden away off camera. No one wants to see him He's doing some audio stuff and then we have everyone's favorite cast member for now. I heard you honored race
Starting point is 00:00:59 Car where's off? Okay, the shine will fade. So here's what's going on. Here's what's going on. We've been talking about watching Ambulance for... Since the movie came out. Dude. Literally. The movie is like two years old. I've seen it.
Starting point is 00:01:15 I don't want to exaggerate. Michael's seen it. I saw it because you saw it. And you said, you got to watch this movie. I love this movie. And I feel like you didn't tell all your friends. I feel like you told me specifically. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to watch this movie. I love this movie. And I feel like you didn't tell all your friends. I feel like you told me specifically, you gotta watch this movie. I saw it.
Starting point is 00:01:27 We've been excited about it ever since. Jordan's avoided watching it, which is very easy because I don't think he doesn't want to watch it. Yeah, Eric was one of the people Eric told about this movie. And I was like, cool, man. Yeah. Sounds good. Diseased God in the chat says, I saw it because of Eric. So that's great. So here's the thing. I saw it because of Eric so that's great
Starting point is 00:01:45 so here's the thing I wanted to get together now we're watching Jambulance very cool and we have a bunch of food that Gracie got for us and then Gracie
Starting point is 00:01:52 was going to get us soft pretzels and it turned into a $70 order at Sonic Burger thank you Gracie I already ate my pretzel why'd you just call it
Starting point is 00:01:59 Sonic Burger he does that you see how young and new she is yeah because you would think you would think I'm talking about the hedgehog, and I'm simply not. I'm simply talking about Sonic.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Well, now Grace is going to say, there's a hedgehog? Yeah. That's what that is. So we got a bunch of food from there. We also have our Keurig set up in the corner. Our Keurig, which is a great coffee machine that will be featured in this film for some reason
Starting point is 00:02:29 some sort of some sort of flex it's a flex yeah about I think he's rich yes so are we right absolutely that's a rental this is Michael Bay's ambulance from 2021 and this action thriller directed by Michael Bay veteran Will Sharp desperate, and this action thriller directed by Michael Bay,
Starting point is 00:02:48 veteran Will Sharp, desperate for money, turns to his adoptive brother Danny for help. He adopted his brother? A career criminal, Danny instead offers him a huge score. But when this heist goes awry, the desperate brothers hijack an ambulance with a wounded cop and EMT on board. Will and Danny must evade the citywide law enforcement
Starting point is 00:03:07 response, keep the hostages alive, and somehow try not to kill each other, all while executing the most insane escape LA has ever seen. And LA has seen some escapes. Have you seen an escape from LA? Jordan, I'm going to jump in here. When you say now I feel like I've seen the movie, don't
Starting point is 00:03:24 worry. That just describes the first 25 minutes. I was going to say, before this, I'm gonna jump in here when you say, well, now I feel like I've seen the movie. Don't worry, that just describes the first 25 minutes. I was gonna say, before this, I knew two things. I knew the Keurig, and I knew the text about a massive robbery in DTLA. DTLA, it's going down now. What is this movie rated? Oh! This movie is rated R.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Oh! So! Suck that beer down, you little monster. Yum, yum. Hey, he's talking to you. He put on his mask so he could walk over here and fix the camera. Here's a content disclaimer. You might see Nick.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Hey, this movie is rated R. I know that the server is 16 and up, but this movie does have some strong language. Some of it racially charged. There's also graphic violence, intense imagery. Some people are shot and injured. If any of that doesn't sound good to you, now is the time to not watch. However, if you want to just hang out, you can listen to us. Yeah, you're controlling your own movie.
Starting point is 00:04:19 You are controlling your own movie. What's going to happen is we'll have a timer on the bottom of the screen. It's counting up. It counts. This timer counts up not down not me other one not me i don't set the timer sorry yes we we love our production crew here and it's so much fun when something like that happens where he goes yeah it's here's the timer why is it counting down i don't know so we will count down three two one and then now don't mike mike in the chat is get very defamatory pictures of me eating a pretzel and it's disgusting whoa yeah come on where'd he get that come on yeah yeah fertile okay that well explains, I wouldn't have leaned over if you said Mike Purtle.
Starting point is 00:05:06 He's in the building. We'll count down three, two, one, now, and then that's when the movie will start, the timer will start, you'll start your movie, and then we'll be watching Ambulance together. If it's too loud, that's on you. Yeah. Turn your TV down. Turn, so put us on your TV and put this on your phone. Put the movie on your phone.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Put the movie on your phone and put us on your 65-inch television. It's how Michael Bay wants you to watch it. You can see how we see it. Did we get Sonic because they go to a Sonic movie? No. Gracie wanted pretzels. Gracie wanted pretzels. Did you go inside to get the pretzels?
Starting point is 00:05:39 Yeah. I cooked it. Why it took me so long? You smiled like you were Jordan's little sister and you had braces. Like, we got Eric, right? We got him. You were so excited to say you went inside. This is my line, right?
Starting point is 00:05:57 That's awesome. Guys, let's do it like Ricky says. It's a two-screen monitor situation, so let's fucking do this thing. You guys, what? Thank first members. Oh, okay. Thank you first members. Who it's, which is you. The only people watching this.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Thank you. Thank you for supporting us, but more importantly, supporting Ambulance and for supporting Jake Gyllenhaal. And I hope you thought he was a pretty good prince in Prince of Persia. Hey, if you're here, the amount of hoops that you jump through to get to this is staggering to me. And thank you so much for hanging out and doing this. We're really, really thrilled to be watching this. Yeah, we're like the Fazoli's employees who work in the warehouse in the back corner. You got to go down a dirt road to find us.
Starting point is 00:06:39 And when somebody shows up, you go, you found us. It's a hell of a hang. Yep. True jammers in this one. Guys, so let's do it. Is production ready if I count this thing down? Yeah? All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:06:49 We're going to start ambulance. Three, two, one, now. Didn't start for us. There it goes. It was in half a second. I got worried. This is a universal film, and it's in Denver. In Denver.
Starting point is 00:07:02 This whole thing in Denver. So welcome to the commentary track I'm Michael Bay I said this to Eric just shut the fuck up a year ago probably because you're not even in this movie I'm realizing as you pointed out it's two years old we've been talking about it for so long I said to Eric at some point months or a year ago I was like
Starting point is 00:07:21 what if we we've only seen it one time what if we watch it and it's just not that good? And he was like, shit, I don't know, man. I just don't believe it. And we just got it wrong. I know Eric has seen this movie at least twice. You saw it again, right? No, I saw it once. Alright, this explains everything. We need to pay attention right here. This is... Okay, is this the backstory? Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:39 This is how their brothers... This is where he adopts his brother. Yeah. Yep. Was he just working on the Empire State Building? What are those toolboxes? I don't know, dude. Gotta pay the bills somehow. I don't know. He's going to his construction job in the 30s, yeah?
Starting point is 00:07:57 Yeah. This is the now times. Dude. This is what it is to hang out and be a kid in Los Angeles? Dude, that's all you needed to do. Set be a kid in Los Angeles? Dude, that's all you needed to do. Set up. Established. Let's move on. They set that whole thing up in less than a minute. Their brothers get it. So this is LA. That's really it, huh? That's, yeah. No, yeah, that was the beginning of the movie. You saw it. What more do you need to know?
Starting point is 00:08:18 Now you get it, idiot! These two, they know each other. Yep. Oh, ever since we drove that truck. Yep. Yeah. Or pretend. I mean, I don't know how the relationship is right now. Oh, no, he's on hold. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Oh, God. Nick, turn this movie up. Volume, please. He read a book about Afghanistan. Mm-hmm. Bills. This is how I do all my bills. Pills.
Starting point is 00:08:53 They come in the middle. Bills. Pills. What's next? Chills. Will. Will. Can't believe they set that up.
Starting point is 00:09:10 If you join now and you're screaming at what you're looking at on your screen, we're two minutes and 17 seconds in. That baby was confused. This guy's a great actor. I remember when this movie, when I was watching it in theaters, I was going, is he using a house phone? What year is it? It's 2021. Like, why would he?
Starting point is 00:09:29 I don't even know. Maybe the Keurig is new. They just wanted to shoot it that way, but I'm like, but really, no one has a phone. No one has a phone. I have not seen a house phone in God knows how long. So what surgery does his wife need? Important.
Starting point is 00:09:43 So what surgery does his wife need? Important. I can really feel his emotion about how frustrated he is. You can tell by the way he's maddened. No, that's what I'm saying. Oh, and then they hung up on him. Fucked up, Jordan. Oh, and he made the baby cry? Oh, the baby's crying.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Well, yeah, you were screaming in the other room. Don't hang up on me. We're also drinking Cayman Jack margaritas. Yeah, I recommended it. Nick's having a great time. What did he say over there? I don't know if it started with a word or not. I just had them last week for the first time. They have Moscow Mules and they have margaritas.
Starting point is 00:10:32 They're very good. It delights me to drink out of this nice little glass bottle. It's cooler than a can. It's cooler than a bottle. This is how... Pick one up, Gracie. Hold it. Last time I had one, I ended up maybe projectile, but you don't Just from holding it She's allergic to small glass
Starting point is 00:10:57 That's you the movies right there, and it's in here. Did you unplug something? I don't think so Gracie lost sound I think is what you're trying to say. She said, where'd the movie go in a very Nick-like manner? Oh, Gracie fixed it. Wait, he's on the phone again. Oh, yeah. He's on his way. Is he going to DTLA? Not yet. He's driving his convertible
Starting point is 00:11:18 truck. Wow. It's called a Jeep. Got him. Some kind of paramedic lady. There she is. Her beautiful eyebrows. Why is it shot like this? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:11:32 Because it's drones. Because Michael Bay found out what drones are. If you guys aren't aware of this movie, this is the film where Michael Bay found out about drones and then hired the best drone racers in the drone racing league to just shoot stuff. There's a lot of drone shots.
Starting point is 00:11:49 And none of them necessary. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you he flies up and down buildings all the time. Yes, rules. This fucking guy. I forgot about this guy. Is he going to be the best character? Did we just meet our favorite character? You'll see. I forgot about this guy. Is he going to be the best character? Did we just meet our favorite character?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Oh, yeah. You'll see. I have some other favorites. Jordan, you can call it what it is, the hunk. Yep. Now, how do you think this already ranks, though, with the Madam Web trailer? Oh, wow. Well, I know what's going on so far.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Stay calm. Yeah. She's a better EMT than she is yeah okay okay okay oh no how did this happen I think she's a paramedic cuz give her some credit okay no no I didn't that wasn't my I think I know what hurts. Oh my god. Well, don't look at it and it'll go away probably. probably yes I think he is like a new guy gnarly I haven't heard that since Scott oh now I know his name. I think that someone said Scott at some point. I'm guessing that's him.
Starting point is 00:13:30 His name is Scott or Couric. Oh my god. That's how they gotta get it? That guy is... Yeah, it's really an unnecessarily horrific scene to start with. You could just be like, there's an accident.
Starting point is 00:13:45 And it's- We don't have the building! Ah! We got a jumper! Just kidding, it's a camera. That was that shot. With someone falling to their doom. It really was like I was on a roller coaster.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh, it's so cool. And then it cut away so fast. It did. Like, what was the purpose of the shot? It didn't even connect the shot. No, it did not. We just need a shot here. Metallicat in the chat just says,
Starting point is 00:14:07 There it is! The ambulance! Oh man. I'm driving! I can't wait for the title drop. Oh it already said LA. Oh, damn it. They have to say ambulance. The music is so undercutting of anything.
Starting point is 00:14:29 I want you to know that it almost never stops. Okay. This movie is edited fucking crazy. I don't know why it's like this. Well, he seemed excited planning this for two years, but now he seems mad that we're watching it. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to be watching this.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Yeah! What? Enchiladas! What the fuck? Nick's pissed. I'm telling you, it's like a truck. Don't throw up enchiladas. Some sort of open-air truck.
Starting point is 00:15:02 That's pretty funny. All right here comes here comes Right now there's a pretty good flex right yeah Mm-hmm All right guys get your Keurigs ready a lot of cars a lot of cars real nice-looking cars old-looking cars A lot of cars. A lot of cars. Real nice looking cars. Old looking cars. We could be at Jay Leno's house for all I know. He probably used his garage for this shot.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Watching Nick get ready to come over to get more food. Oh shit. Oh here he is. Oh. to get more food. Oh, shit. Oh, here he is. That line was too long for his intro line.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Does Jake Gyllenhaal need money or something? I don't know if he was talking to me. I don't know what Nick was saying. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Look at this- look at this guy, this snake. An animal. How dare he? You believe he- he left his fucking- thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:16:12 I appreciate that. You got- Nick just got chili and cheese all over me. That's awesome. He was serving himself- No, no, no, that's- that's great. He was serving himself- He didn't know until he, like- On a- on a plate. Anyway, here it is! Over you. Keurig! Serving himself serving himself. He didn't know
Starting point is 00:16:28 You Keurig Derek Blurred He he not only spilled chili on you, I made us miss the car We did uh-huh he's already getting it now. Yeah, He's starting to put it together. Two years down the drain. But at least he got his hot dog. Why was he making it over your lap? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:16:50 And a plate, not using a plate. He's leaving. Not using a plate that he had. In his hand. So why is his brother rich and Life of crime buddy He's a criminal Jordan you have to watch
Starting point is 00:17:10 Massive bank robbery Who knows who it was I thought it was a stranger There's no other text messages The images that are being dropped in the chat are so good. Like, you guys have to tweet those to us. Those are fucking awesome. These are really funny.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Is it more Eric eating pretzels? No, it's... Is it a picture of Nick spilling chili on you? It's the fucking Rooster Teeth mascot walking in. Oh, yeah. That's awesome. That was quick. A.K.A. Neil.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Yeah. Oh, look. He's come back in shame. What a nice friend. He handed him. Is it wet, I assume, at least? It's a wet paper towel, and he said, dab? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:54 You're welcome. Wow. What a nice thing you did for him. Why did he pull out some baby shoes out of his dad's booties? Yeah. Look at these. Look at these pictures. Oh, the memories. Boston Red Sox. Why did he pull out some baby shoes out of his dad's booties? Yeah. Look at these. Oh, the memories.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Boston Red Sox, everyone's favorite team in L.A. And my favorite Los Angeles franchise. Fly to LaGuardia, go to Boston. Oh, my God. Might have been Chicago. I can't. It Might have been Chicago. Chicago. It might have been Chicago. I don't know what I'm thinking about it. Flying.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Get some pizza. So, one thing that I'm noticing, just by barely paying attention, but the pacing has not changed at all. And there has been action, and now there has been dialogue and exposition. But it has not sped up or slowed down. Yeah, they never stopped one and then started another. And that same droning music has been going throughout. Yep. We got two hours left.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Oh, yeah, you know it. Oh, that's crazy. He does not. At all. No, not at all. Not at all. He doesn't look anything like him. This is what Michael Bay thinks is funny.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I remember talking to Eric being like, Jake Gyllenhaal must have been pissed he had to say that. He's probably like, he does not look like Mel Gibson at all. Why am I saying that? They wrote that in the script and they cast someone totally different. Yeah. I'm just like, I can't believe he had to say it and it's in the film. It's just some guy with a beard Just like Mel Gibson!
Starting point is 00:19:47 Which Mel Gibson did not have in Braveheart No! Oh yeah! That's also true And he had long hair Yep He looks like someone from Rugrats Who does he look like from Rugrats?
Starting point is 00:19:56 I'll find it Chucky He was very specific Chucky Reptar That was specific, I'd like to know Uh huh It's probably one of the adults that show up in one episode.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Definitely an adult. Yeah, it's ours. His name is Nigel Thornberry. That's the wild Thornberry. Yeah, that's not from Rugrats. Although they did do a Rugrats crossover. They did. That's what I'm thinking of.
Starting point is 00:20:23 That must be it. That's how Gracie knows about it. He was in that Rugrats episode. Okay, well, he looks like Nigel Thrats crossover. They did. That's what I'm thinking of. That must be it. That's how Gracie knows about it. He was in that Rugrats episode. Okay, well, he looks like Nigel Thornberry. Same universe. That made me feel so fucking old. Smashing. What the fuck did that guy just say?
Starting point is 00:20:41 I'm like Cam. It was so crony. What the fuck did that guy just say? RUN TO MY CAR! It was like, it was like, so dirty. Yeah. Why did he look at him like, yeah, I got you. To make sure. Hey, hey, hey, did you hear what I said? Hey, taking another look. Did you hear what I said?
Starting point is 00:21:10 I want a baby job, not a big job. When I said baby job, I thought you were going to do some Rugrats night before. You busted those shoes out. I thought it was a baby job. You know that. We all know that. We all know that. Why can't we sit still during this conversation? This, too.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Look, the camera's running around them. It's making me dizzy. This is Michael Bay to a T. Gracie, we have two more hours of this, and this is all it does. Imagine when they still do these exact same shots in the back of an ambulance, because you're going to see it. How do they even get a camera to do that? Drones! Drones buzzing around in the back of an ambulance.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Like the blocking for this is so good. I just love this. Hang on, everybody. Are you mad? Is that flea? Okay, so I want you to remember that he came for a little bit of money alone. Yes. And now he's saying, come to this
Starting point is 00:22:06 job. This money's gonna be so easy, it's gonna be ours. It works for both sexes. They have five minutes to decide if he's going to be part of this job that he needs him for or not. That's gonna make millions of dollars.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Dude, they cut from a shot of Jake Gyllenhaal to a shot of Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, because he's going through different emotions. Modes. Again, his wife doesn't know where he went necessarily, and he's getting roped into this.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Not even like tomorrow. I don't want to claim to be an expert editor or anything, but we're 15 minutes in and I feel like we've seen about 5 minutes of content. Yes. Heineken Zero!
Starting point is 00:22:56 Whatever the Oxygen app is in Heineken Zero right after the Keurig plug. Money. This is how you make money, baby. I'm looking it up right now. I don't think the Oxygen app is probably an app anymore. Oh. It's a bank. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Is she getting advances on her paycheck? Yeah, dude. She's got a heart of stone. Not to be confused with heart of stone with Gal Gadot. That's not a thing you can say. I keep anybody alive, no matter what. For 20 minutes?
Starting point is 00:23:42 This guy's been shot in the head. Don't worry. He'll be alive for 20 minutes. This guy broke his head. Don't worry. He'll be alive for 20 minutes This guy broke his arm. Don't worry Oh No What was that also who's going around saying that look you just gave me I'm making sure you're okay Who's going around saying you're the best paramedic in? Everybody know are there competitions right the exposition in this movie is simply found.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Hang on, hear that music? Sushi! It's back. Kura? Shut up. Shut up. Hey, new characters. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Okay, I'll pay attention to these guys The Michael Bay write this it must have Huh Sean Connery said that yeah The Rock said it yeah, oh my god Yeah. Oh my god. Oh. Okay. Did you get the joke, Gracie? Did you get the joke, Gracie?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Chris Fedick. So The Rock is a movie starring Sean Connery. It's about Alcatraz. And then he didn't get the joke, so he thought he was talking about The Rock. So I am that guy. Congratulations. Why is he talking about the rock? Also, Gracie's drink is so blue that Gracie is now blue.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Gracie's the only one that got one of these drinks. Yeah. Because you fucked me up and started talking about blizzards and it distracted me. Otherwise, I would have absolutely gotten a slush. I asked everybody. Also, it's totally fine if Gracie gets a drink on her own. Here's my problem with the slushes. The two, I want too much, and it just takes forever.
Starting point is 00:25:48 I feel like an asshole going, can I get the cherry slush with blue raspberry, coconut, raspberry? Then they're just like, just come inside and make it yourself. No, they don't say that. That's all there is to the drink. I don't want to do it, but if you don't, you can't order it. It must be. So I would never ask someone to get one for me. I'd be like, get one flavor. I would have order it. It must be. So I would never ask someone to get one for me.
Starting point is 00:26:06 I'd be like, get one flavor. I would have done it. Next time, just double yours. My favorites. I'll get whatever you get. I'm sure it'll be everything they have. There we go, another shot. Could have gone a little lower, I think.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Trust. Long blonde haired guy? That's my favorite character for a while. Oh, okay. For a while, but not the whole movie. Your favorite character in this movie That's my favorite character for a while. Oh, okay. For a while, but not the whole movie? Your favorite character in this movie changes. Eric's fickle, dude. He's a baby.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Fickle. I'm a fickle baby. Whoa. We're here. This is just like a GTA heist. 100%. Why is there a homeless man in the parking lot of the bank? What?
Starting point is 00:26:44 Also, he doesn't look homeless at all. Oh. Yeah. He's wearing an earpiece. He's clearly... He's clearly security or in on it. Again, he just showed up to ask for some money.
Starting point is 00:26:59 He got roped into this thing all within 10 minutes. Right now. Immediately. Literally right now. Oh, my God. It's like an episode of 24. Oh, this movie is edited like that, too.
Starting point is 00:27:13 It just flies. The screen certainly helps. And it goes up. Beep. Beep. Do. Do. No masks?
Starting point is 00:27:26 This, it just, it looks like what payday wishes it was. Wait, why was the door closing? Was somebody just coming out? Jake Gyllenhaal. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What? Classic Michael Bay shit.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Who would ever do that? Isn't this funny? Who would ever catch an elevator door like that? She's a different race. That's crazy. Oh boy. That is Michael Bay shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:56 A hundred percent. And then a little Asian lady comes in and it's funny. It's loud and crazy. Now it's quiet and goofy. Oh, okay. Oh no, this might foil their plan. Oh man, they can't predict what the cops are doing. It's that homeless guy.
Starting point is 00:28:25 He's not... He's not being covert at all. Yeah, it's this guy! What's that guy's name? No idea. It's not Darhumel? Yeah, what's he from? Justified?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Deadwood. Who's that? He's two different characters in Deadwood. He dies and comes back. Oh, yeah. Because What's-His-Face loved him so much as the guy who kills Wild Bill. Yeah, come back and be someone else. I had to watch Deadwood twice before I knew that that was the same guy, though.
Starting point is 00:29:06 What? Because they're two totally different characters. Are you saying Timothy Olyphant? No, it's not Timothy Olyphant. I was like, because that's not him. They're buddies. It's the guy with the slightly lazy eye. He was in both of those movies, those shows, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yes, that's why I was confused. I was sitting there, sitting to myself, going, he's just one guy. You watch this part here, and you totally get what happened with Taylor Swift. You're just like... Yeah, he's wearing the guy. You watch this part here and you totally get what happened with Taylor Swift. You're just like... Yeah, he's wearing the scarf. Too fucking charming. Look, with his neck all covered up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:29:40 Whoa! He's a charming... He's kind of a charming guy. And it actually makes sense because if he robbed it first, that would be bad for him. Give her the scarf back. He's got turtlenecks. What does he need a scarf for? That's the snake. Wow, really empty in here.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Hello? I haven't seen a single soul. Yep in this bank It doesn't even know her name yet Busted Oh my god. Anyway, here's 58 people. What the fuck? Do you hear a room full of people breathing?
Starting point is 00:30:40 Where are the other 40 tellers. This guy. Boy, all this is so weird anyway. He's rampant for a detective. Now this seems par for the course, to be honest. God, this fucking guy. Oh, God. What? she's like I'm being robbed and you don't even notice yes, you're not doing yourself favors to me Peepus jebus in the chat says normally I would have skipped this so cringe
Starting point is 00:31:23 Peabas Jebus in the chat says normally I would have skipped this so cringe You have to or else you'll be out of sync with us. Yeah, you have to watch this part Peabas Jebus Yeah, he fucked up the name also also he wasn't looking at him he didn't need to go ha he could have just been Like that's what I was gonna say. He didn't need to do that. Ha secret Surprise I have one too! Really, he's just trying to make sure everybody's safe. Don't screw this up for him, idiot. Like we always do. Yeah. He goes, hey, if you're in there for two minutes, make sure you smile and wave at me.
Starting point is 00:32:11 The other guys are like, oh, hey, bud. This is me hitting and hanging out. I just waved to him from across the bar. You and Nick. I'm a nice friend. Sorry about your pants, bud. Hi, Nick. Me and Nick are giving each other a big wave.
Starting point is 00:32:26 I had forgotten about his pants. Thanks for reminding me. What I like about this movie is they do absolutely nothing to explain. It's like they're in there and they got the money. Yeah. You know, like Ocean's Eleven, that's the whole movie. Right. The robbery is the least. How do they get in?
Starting point is 00:32:41 The least of the robberies. Yo, we got to do it now. And then they're doing it. And then the bank is empty and everything is working except some cop wanders in. But also all the money is going in and they're about to leave. They don't waste any time at all explaining it. They don't
Starting point is 00:32:53 tell you what the plan is. He just says gotta know. Yes or no. Alright, here we go. It really is like payday. How is he helping? They walk in. They needed him. All of the money is stacked on a table. And there's a sign that says, don't take. Honor system.
Starting point is 00:33:10 They start filling bags. Oh, no. He's got the face jam van. If this were theater mode, Tyler would have edited it in, and it would have said face jam. Here's what you do. You got to hold the brake and the gas at the same time and ease off the brake, and you'll start rolling.
Starting point is 00:33:28 If the brakes start smoking, that's fine. This son of a bitch is coming over to help me. What do I do? This fucking cop! Hey, what's going on? Well, it doesn't work. That guy looks like he's in Workaholics. Absolutely. He looks like Erling Haaland meets the guy from Workaholics. He looks like the only guy in this movie that's from LA.
Starting point is 00:33:55 He really does. He's definitely from, like, La Jolla. Oh, yeah. Should I? What? Don't worry about it How would that help What's going on
Starting point is 00:34:08 Like they're being discreet In the bank Should I just run over A cop in the streets Like and just I don't know With my car Also with my car
Starting point is 00:34:15 That won't start Wow Wow Step back in front of this No you can just Stand right there Can you close The hood please It's open There we go Wow. Wow. Step back in front of this. No, you can just stand right there. Can you close the hood, please?
Starting point is 00:34:28 It's open. There we go. Run him over! We've been good. Cool looking backpacks, though. They're cool money bags. The drone is in the building. It's in the building! I'm vibrating.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Dude, I hope jammers are liking this. Uh oh. It's about to kick off. Shit. Uh oh. Yeah! Gracie don't look! Jambulance oh how'd they get there so fast I like how you like should I have fucking run him over and then he tried Guess what? Oh, they fucked up! Oh! That's a terrible shot. He sucks. They're all bad shots. They have backpacks and machine guns.
Starting point is 00:35:34 What are they doing? Oh, no! Whoa! I thought the drone was going to land on him. Again, it's like a movie Like something's about to fall on someone But then you remember there's nothing It's just a camera It's just doing stuff
Starting point is 00:35:51 It's for no reason He really is just shoehorning them in I love this part because Michael Bay watched Heat And he went, fuck, I could do that And then didn't And that's the best God, this rules Oh no, it's supposed to be so easy You're joining us late. There's only an hour and 45
Starting point is 00:36:12 so 30 minutes ago that I was at home and now he's robbing a bank. He was on the phone with someone and his bail collectors Hey wait for me Dude these two just can't hit each other No one has shot anyone They're literally standing in front of each other Shooting and not hitting each other Oh no That guy who was standing there
Starting point is 00:36:40 The whole time My favorite character The guy I could see the whole time he didn't jump out or anything he was just really wants to run someone and he has back to the main character the ambulance look at that guy, Chris Ponteus from Jackass. That's what he's up to. That didn't alert them at all. Wait, is he asking her out?
Starting point is 00:37:13 No, he's just trying to get to know her, you know? Oh, okay. So he can ask her out. Well, you know, who knows where this goes? I think I know where this goes. It goes to the ambulance. We're only 30 minutes in, Jordan. They aren't even in the ambulance. We have not even begun the ambulance. We're only 30 minutes in, Jordan. They aren't even in the ambulance.
Starting point is 00:37:28 We have not even begun to ambulance. If this movie ended now, it would be called Bank. And that is not what this movie is. I think he finally got shot. Someone got shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-oh. 20 minutes.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Or did he just fly backwards? Hell yeah. That's how you do it Yeah, that's how cops drive This is can I do the same such a dork yeah This guy still hasn't moved from the seat of the truck and there's no door Teddy bear there's no door. Hey. I put the mask now. They won't know who I am It'll protect my face. Oh Shit
Starting point is 00:38:23 How is no one shot yet? Oh, I didn't even know you were there. Yeah. Are you okay? I don't think Erling's going to make it, guys. Why are you taking this guy with you? They gotta have a hostage? Yeah, I just... That doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Joey smashes so much wasted ammo. Yeah. Dude! Oh, my God. My favorite character. The end! Oh, man! You... He was at your waist! The end! Aw man! You-
Starting point is 00:39:06 You- He was at your wedding! Oh! And you were at his wedding too! And now you're at his fucking funeral. Oh shit. This- we're still- Uh huh.
Starting point is 00:39:22 We left the bank somehow, we're in a garage and there's people here Nightmare in the chat just said keep him alive for 20 minutes Yep, yep, yep. Oh man. He just shot a cop Yep. Yep. Oh, man, he just shot a cop. Look, I know we have guns, but we're not supposed to shoot him. And you shot him twice.
Starting point is 00:39:56 If you shoot a cop in the stomach two times, you keep going, you're good, you're good. No, that's fine. This guy cares too much. It looks how this looks. It's what it is. Yeah, imagine how this looks. It looks like you shot someone. Oh boy, I don't like the look of this one.
Starting point is 00:40:20 The thing you did? What? He's a Marine. He's my brother. His name is Will. He's got a lot of that. The thing you did? What? That's right. What? What the? He's a Marine. He's my brother. His name is Will. He's got a lot of debt. You thought we didn't look like brothers?
Starting point is 00:40:31 You were wrong. We are. Sorry, dude. It's 2021. That's your problem, not mine. The cop's just in pain and goes, you don't look like brothers? Yeah. And then he looks at him to be like, yeah, I said that.
Starting point is 00:40:42 He got shot so hard he flew into the plate of glass. Braveheart, no. Sketchers? Airwalks? I thought those were vans. Yep. Off the wall. This movie.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Classic L.A. top shit. He's climbing into the sewer. He's going to come back covered in ooze. They cut in the middle of the shot To later in the shot We're still going They did a jump cut on it Here's a bike cop Hey stop
Starting point is 00:41:14 Stop You can't go in there I want to Hang on ambulance No helping Yeah But I got to Okay
Starting point is 00:41:21 For the sake of this film We'll let you in Ma'am I'm the ambulance Yeah, but I got to. Okay. For the sake of this film, we'll let you in. Ma'am, I'm the ambulance. I'm the best paramedic this city's ever seen. Don't you know who I am? I will say, watching this with you guys and 100 other first members is fucking awesome. This rules.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Great shot. Locked. Hey, every frame of painting. On Michael Bay's refrigerator. With a little cat butt magnet. Yeah. Well, you already did it once. I'm Iron Man oh my god look at his eyes army of two he's like DeSantis oh my god they're gonna go back to back I like Jake Gyllenhaal in this movie because he can be a big cartoon like wacky guy or whatever He doesn't have to be super serious. He's like Mr. Music
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yeah, he can just be really off the which is crazy because usually it'd be like I don't I feel like more typecaps Person doing that and it's not most of his movies. No is yeah, he's doing yeah, he's Like even capable more than most Generic movies whatever, you know like again the Prince of of doing this. He does the generic movies of whatever. You know, like, again, Prince of Persia or whatever the fuck he does. This is bizarre. He's kind of like this when he plays Mysterio. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:54 It's when he can rely on his very rehearsed charm. Like, it's fun to watch him be wacky. Yeah. I'll tell you one thing. He's nothing like his character in The Guilty. I think a movie only Gracie and me have seen. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:43:13 A very bad movie as well. No one should watch it. We're not doing The Guilty. No, because it will be us going, boy, still in this room, huh? The chat is getting so excited. They said the name of the movie. They just asked for an ambulance.
Starting point is 00:43:29 That's clever marketing. Somebody get me a whoosh ambulance. Anytime you see one, that's a tie-in. Look at that dude. God, the drone shots roll hard. If a movie did that now, out. But I'm so into this. I saw this movie with Gavin and Tim G we went
Starting point is 00:43:52 to easy tiger before I was tanked and watching this so this is definitely Tim's favorite movie right it was all time it was let me ask you this with an ambulance. Let me ask you this does ambulance fuck As as Tim would describe this movies pretty fuego. Oh my Christ What was the word that he's been using for a yee see mo? Guys the best I Quaggismo. Oh, God, he's the best.
Starting point is 00:44:27 No. I don't know. Are you sure? I don't know. I'm sure I don't know. I need more drink. Can you have one near you? It's back there by the Keurig. I forgot.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Pete Coomber said, I can't wait for the sequel. Ambu Chicago ants. It only takes place in LA because there is no other vehicle he could fit a city name into. I whacked him back. That's the first five minutes. He's gonna buy you 20. 20 alone. Start
Starting point is 00:44:57 the timer now. I feel like she'd be way funnier if she was cocky about that. Where she happens upon him and is like, all right, start the timer. Start the fucking clock. She cracks her knuckles. I agree with Llamabuck.
Starting point is 00:45:18 She's just like Jack from Lost. Classic Jack from Lost character. Great doctor. You're going to take care of business here Pass me that range Gonna ranch up these these for sure popcorn chicks Oh I thought that was blood. I didn't know don't worry. He's not like a synthetic. I think that was just an IV bag.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Just some fluids. That'll get him back up and running. He's not a replicant? Not that we know of. I feel like, and I could be wrong, I feel like if that ever happens to me, I'm ducking and slamming the gas. I would never stop. That's a cool idea.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Never stop. No, never. Even if they shoot at you. Now, maybe they're not smart enough. Even if they shoot at you, they will get run over. Yeah. You can't do both.
Starting point is 00:46:12 And that's what that guy said earlier he was going to do. And he did, but to your favorite character. I'm just going to burn. What did you do to my leg? 40 minutes in, guys. We are in the ambulance.
Starting point is 00:46:23 We have done it. We've been in the ambulance, but everyone's getting in the ambulance now. We being Jake Gyllenhaal and his brother. They're like, oh, we can't get rid of this guy. We just left this cop. He's like a cursed doll. I thought I shot you and left you back there.
Starting point is 00:46:38 We got to stop meeting like this. Whoa, I almost shot you by accident. I could write this movie. You should have. What were you thinking not doing it, Jordan? How would this be like any other day? Do you think this happens
Starting point is 00:46:51 to her often? Oh, I thought he was being nice for a second. He tricked me. Uh-oh. Hi, we're an ambulance. Let us out. I'll hide in this part of the ambulance when they won't see me
Starting point is 00:47:26 you know when you open an ambulance you never know how many people are in there could be 5, could be 50 it's just so big 80 people surrounding it well this is the end of the movie check inside that's where they are
Starting point is 00:47:42 but really fast and just kind of like from one angle. What will they do? Nick's on the edge of his seat. Who is it? What's going on back there? He's now in the ambulance. What?
Starting point is 00:48:01 And he doesn't see Jake Gyllenhaal. Impossible. He's like in another room. He's just right there. He's not on camera. You can't see him. Precisely. Precisely.
Starting point is 00:48:10 If this were real, he would be right there. He would be 40% of that room. Hang on. I'm going to hide from the stream. Where'd he go? Oh, no. Whoa. Where is he?
Starting point is 00:48:22 I'll fucking kill you. It's more like, I'm going to be honest, it's like you saying you're gonna hide from us, and you just walk over there. And so you can't see you on the camera, but it's the audience going, I can't see Eric, so they can't see him either. I get it. And it's you standing right there going, hi. That's what would've happened.
Starting point is 00:48:39 He didn't even go in the front, cause he couldn't! He's just like, what if I crouch near the side door? Does that work? You could see in his single here, you can see the metal wall in the corner. And then in the wide shot, the police officer looking for him was in front of that wall. But they just removed Jake Gyllenhaal. It's just not large. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Found it. Get the tracker out of here. Whoa. No, that's the thing that makes all the lights green. You need that. That's the thing so Geico can check you to make sure that you're speeding. He said it. He said it. He said it again.
Starting point is 00:49:38 It's got a big red cross on the sign. Sometimes they're blue, guys. Sometimes they're blue. Sometimes they're green. If you're looking at it in the mirror, it will read correctly. Don they're blue, guys. Sometimes they're blue. Sometimes they're green. Don't be ambulance elitists. If you're looking at it in the mirror, it will read correctly. Don't be elitists. Sometimes they're different colors for different cities.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Fanciful Dave just saying, it wasn't gnarly. Oh, man. This is one grody day. Bogus. Honestly, I kind of like him. Why are you talking to her? I'm going to flirt with her for just a little bit. Maybe he's not a bad guy.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Everybody has different day jobs. People, sometimes, they're different political affiliations and they make it work. This could be a scenario like that. Maybe that cop got shot by accident. Yeah, go USC! Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Fuck him. Yeah, go camo pants. This guy... Now, I could be remembering the movie wrong. This guy's character kind of confuses me because they don't even do it right. Right? He's kind of like the expert guy.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah. Like, you can tell because he's just wearing a football shirt. Right. That's how you know he's so high up. He just came from the Trojans game. He just came, but he's in charge. And it's like, oh, this is the badass tracker guy, whatever. And everything he does doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:51:01 But, like, don't act like that. I think it might be a Ratatouille situation where the dog is the dog I just got here like usually these characters they get him a little bit yeah whoa this is good he's an actual adversary like they go back and forth and I feel like that never happens in this film like what's going on with this guy I agree what's going on with his neck vein? I agree. What's going on with his neck vein? It's like bulging. Yeah, he's having a good time. I learned just don't drink water.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Oh, okay. That's what Hugh Jackman did. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to dehydrate. You dehydrate. You dehydrate. And then I'm starting with these Cayman Jacks. And then right before we film my scene where I bust out of the pod yeah we filled
Starting point is 00:51:47 with adamantium I'm gonna eat a bunch of carbs nice because it'll fill my muscles that's what I learned and then you'll pass out yeah but but you got the shot got the shot you got the shot oh this movie's still going dude what's up, dog? Yeah, these are awesome you should definitely send these Said look at this bye go on tweet these FH GM pod these Eric only shows us pictures. He can't he says it's more fun if it's snapchat style We all saw it now, So I never get to keep them He said I used to look different
Starting point is 00:52:30 Is the cop still alive? Yeah fuck it For 20 minutes It's fine you just live forever in that situation Oh there he is Hasn't been 20 minutes yet He's fine dude it's getting close though What if she was like, I'm hungry?
Starting point is 00:52:47 Ooh, I am hungry. Jake Gyllenhaal is wearing a tailored... Hang on. He said, ooh, I am hungry, and he's getting up again. How is he hungry again? Can we just push the food to the corner of the table? Put a napkin on. Put a hazmat suit on. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Ooh, I am hungry. You reminded me. I'm alive and feeling things. Yeah, food exists. He's not hungry, he's just bored. You can have the rest of those. Get away from me. I watched it and I heard it, and it sounded fake. Oh!
Starting point is 00:53:20 Boom, she got away. Oh my gosh, she left the patient. She left the ambulance. Yeah, she got away. She left the patient. She left the ambulance. That guy is just dead. Oh, come on. Come back here. I told you my name. He has a gun, so she has to do.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Hey, he doesn't like doing this. Oh, that guy I shot. Hey, wake up, idiot. Stop- dying from bullets I put in you! Wake up! She can't resist the rage. The way she- She can't resist, Jake! She's too- No, she's too proud. She has to save him. The way it-
Starting point is 00:53:55 No! The way it's shot when she turns around is like all of Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret commercials. It's like that low, sort of like, up shot. She's turning one way and the camera's going the other way. It just started beeping. Dude, you're not a paramedic. Yeah, I'm doing CPR. It's a tailored turtleneck. Where I'll kill him.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Wouldn't it be better for everyone if he didn't make it? Probably. Shouldn't you just shoot them both and leave the ambulance now? No, because then the cop is dead. Because if he doesn't die, you'll get off? Yeah, right? He'll say no. He'll get off, all right.
Starting point is 00:54:33 It's a big misunderstanding. He shot me. Yeah, he sucked the bullets right out of my gun. You should have seen it. Velvete Goth says he's winning best dressed at the bank heist. Well, he was playing the manager, guys. Didn't you remember the plan they never told us? Uh-huh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:48 The movie just started, and then we were there? Literally. Nothing. Nothing! Dark Knight was more of a setup. We're doing this. You got the bomb guy. You got the zip lines.
Starting point is 00:54:57 They're coming in. That was a cold open, this is happening, and it made total sense. I like football! Do you think this guy wishes he was Timothy Olyphant? He wishes he was Josh Duhamel and Timothy Olyphant. Oh, finally, that dog is out of the tiny car. Sometimes I really like Josh Duhamel. Sometimes I go,
Starting point is 00:55:16 what? I'm glad they're telling us what is happening to the dog. Because it's his dog. Again, it's very much another, like, I'm such a big dick. Take my dog home. I got my shitty ass slobbering dog and you got a deal with it like well this guy's good and then he delivers nothing All right, bro Who are these chuckle heads What watch
Starting point is 00:55:42 What? Watch. Just watch. What? This is therapy, Jordan. This is what it looks like. I keep telling you you should do it. It's helpful.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Yep. Hang on. Then he wouldn't be talking about his job. You would not be telling her. Jordan, she's not allowed to tell. Oh. Damn. Damn.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Damn. Guess what? Wait a minute. Guys? Hey! Oh, there it is! This is bank robbery. Downtown LA. From a number I've never gotten a! Bank robbery. Downtown LA. From a number I've never gotten a text from before.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Who is this? I don't know. Dispatch. A Michael Bay staple, which is this. The joke here isn't that they're gay, but isn't that crazy? They are?
Starting point is 00:56:43 I thought that was that guy's kid Robin the cradle huh the best character Why? Because he's black? The fuck? What the fuck? Dude, she doesn't have time for him. She doesn't have time for this. Best character.
Starting point is 00:57:24 That's right. I'm a woman. And is that hard for you? Also, I'm really good. And yeah, I watch F1. Somebody in the chat pointed out that those are Michael Bay's real dogs. That's awesome. Is Michael Bay in the chat?
Starting point is 00:57:39 That really was a PA taking the dogs home. Let's get a RobCop in the sky. Galloping Walrus says, also, Lewis Hamilton over Max Verstappen. Again, this was 2021. Max had not won his championships yet. But he was on the rise. Oh!
Starting point is 00:57:57 This is so good. I love when Michael does sports. He's just repeating stuff that he heard in passing. No, I didn't hear that. I just assumed because of the timeline that he had now passing no i didn't hear that i just assumed because of the timeline right now accomplish something right it's 20 2021 then he's won three championships now clearly he was on the ascendancy kevin mccarthy and paul ryan's book the young guns yeah they're next you're next you're on their rise and they'll never quit there was a third guy There was a third guy.
Starting point is 00:58:25 There was a third guy. I don't remember his name. He wasn't speaker. Nope. The least amount of cars I've ever seen on the street in Los Angeles. They really need the thermal vision, huh? Yeah. Dude, just in case.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Just in case the ambulance runs hot. Someone just keeps going, can you turn off thermal? And he's like, I like it. Whoa, is she hugging a robot? Is that what that mural was? Android love. I like that that shot is there to be like,
Starting point is 00:59:02 makes you think, huh? It did. Oh shit, how'd they know we're makes you think, huh? It did. Oh, shit. How'd they know we're the Red Ambulance? Oh, no. I told you we should have painted it. So also, by the way, that was Scott, yeah? Who said that?
Starting point is 00:59:16 Yeah. It's his ambulance. You didn't give him the number? Right? Just like, it's a Red Ambulance. It's whatever. This part's cool because they're just in a big open lot for no reason and they're chasing directly behind him and he's driving on rocks
Starting point is 00:59:32 um i think that's why they're in the parking lot and also this ambulance would not be out running these cars it weighs like 40 million pounds i heard heard it's got 15,000 pounds of reinforced metal. Why? Excuse me? It's like what Batman does in a fight, but no one did that. They just did that. He's like, watch this. I think I remember watching this movie and just being like,
Starting point is 01:00:00 oh my God, these people are killing themselves around me. It doesn't make any sense. They're just crashing all around this ambulance. Everyone is just... It's like, you know the classic 90s stuntman spark explosion
Starting point is 01:00:11 and someone just does a front flip? It's that with cars. It's like, there's the ambulance. There's sparks behind them. They just fucking flip the car for no reason. Nothing happened
Starting point is 01:00:21 and they didn't even try to come up with something in the script. There's like, I don't know what it was just Ah it's so crazy they're crashing right at us! They're coming right at us! Nevermind!
Starting point is 01:00:29 AHH! But like Jordan said if you were there it would be like there's rocks over there why would I drive into them? That really worked out for them Thank god! Thank god we got an hour and 20 minutes left. Hell yeah, dude. They're underneath the 10, Jordan. Look at all those buses. You can do that?
Starting point is 01:00:52 You know. Why are there buses everywhere? There's an hour and 20 minutes left, and you might think, like, oh, in the last hour, they won't be in the ambulance. But you'd be wrong. This is the pace of the movie the whole time. It's this. Again, action is occurring. You'd be wrong. This is the pace of the movie the whole time. Right. It's this.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Again, action is occurring. We have not increased the speed in which things are happening. But sometimes he gets upset. Yeah. Kind of like Eric. Like, why did she have to try to escape just to come back? That just seems like it had to. Stuff just occurs. It was a checkbox.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Because she blasted him with the... Yeah. Fire extinguisher. Yeah, it's... Stop it one more time. But he's used to blasting his face with some powder. A lot just happens. Which guy like that?
Starting point is 01:01:34 A lot just happens, and it's around them, and it's very, very fast. Atari? And it never stops being like this. An Atari game? He's not that old. What's confusing about Hit the Button? Yeah. But again, it's like,
Starting point is 01:01:50 he's a little older than us. Why would he make that reference? Yeah. It's not an Atari game. What are you talking about? I'm sure Michael Bay wrote that. Yes. Why the fuck would Jake Gyllenhaal say that?
Starting point is 01:02:02 Jake Gyllenhaal probably has an Xbox One. He's probably got a Switch. Probably an Xbox Series X. Whatever. Jake Gyllenhaal is 42. Right. So it's like, I guess I know what an Atari is. I wouldn't yell it.
Starting point is 01:02:15 I don't play a regular game and go, is this an Atari? I do. You do. And I've wondered about it. Are they in San Diego now? This looks like where you used to live yes, yes it does Beautiful neighborhood of Golden Hill. Oh yeah, yeah, you can tell from the hill Okay again people are just dying around there. They're literally- Yeah. They're literally killing themselves like babies uncontrolled.
Starting point is 01:02:47 It's just- They're not doing anything. They're doing very little. It's just the chat going, What the fuck?! If I were Will, It doesn't make any sense. I would stop the ambulance and be like,
Starting point is 01:03:00 Guys, I think we'll be okay. Just wait. Just wait it out. You know, LAPD needs to stop hiring lemmings. A cliff! Awesome. Cool. Awesome. And here we are.
Starting point is 01:03:17 We're gonna crash! No, never mind. Totally different shot. And now we're far away. This is all... You can see all of this in GTA 5. They built... Like all of that's just like in GTA 5. Crazy, it's been 10 years and they haven't finished it.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Shit. Come on. Shit. Idiot. Hang on, he might do that right now. His arm returns. Guess what? That's not how it works. Oh, look at all those ambulances.
Starting point is 01:03:52 That's why it's called that. Well, it's called ambulances, not ambulances. Yeah. Not yet. That's a sequel. I like how he hit home and it went to the hospital, I guess. Well, that's where the ambulances live. That's also not where ambulances go.
Starting point is 01:04:05 That's where they live. There's like never a place that has more than like three. What's going on here? In one spot. What? That's like a hundred ambulances. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 01:04:18 What? Yeah, tell me about it. That's how I think. The same thing, bud. Wow. Wow. But also, it was such a villain setup of him going, oh, I'm watching some ambulance chase,
Starting point is 01:04:46 assuming he knows it's you. He was like, I'm giving you shit. And he's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? That's you? One, you're surprised. Two, you were watching that? You're like some drug kingpin, crime lord, whatever. It's like, oh, she looks on the news.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Every Los Angelino person does. If it's on TV, I'm watching this. Why would he be watching that? Yo, should we kill this guy? Hang on, hang on. I'm watching the ambulance on the news. I hope the cops get this guy. They interrupted Jeopardy watching this. Why would he be watching that? Yo, should we kill this guy? Hang on, hang on. I'm watching the ambulance. Yeah, hold on. The police chase is on.
Starting point is 01:05:07 I hope the cops get this guy. They interrupted Jeopardy for this. I do that when I'm working out. When the weights are really heavy, that's when I do it. Ah! Okay. Was that an added sound effect? Yes, it was. Did it just go whoosh?
Starting point is 01:05:31 Yep. This is a cartoon now. It's Castro Knucklehead. Who is this Knucklehead? Oh, I want to see the hello I want to see the guy on tick tock who finds what game is in the movie yes and tell me what what game that was it looked like Atletico Madrid versus Liverpool I feel like Marshawn Lynch would be good for that character. Yeah, hell yeah. He was great in Bottoms.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Marshawn Lynch would be a little too... I don't think he'd take orders this well. This guy's a little too submissive to be a Marshawn Lynch. All right, come on. All right. Do you get it? In 2021, they're like, hey, he's popular. Nobody watches soccer.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Dude, in America? In America? What are the flamingos for? It's another thing. Is that for the sequel? Thank God that happened. He could use some blood. He's been bleeding for 40 minutes.
Starting point is 01:07:03 Two gunshot wounds. I've been replacing his blood with fluids. It's not working. What are they doing? Flying. Yeah, he's like the robot lady's in the back, right? She's somewhere. She's like in a machine.
Starting point is 01:07:22 Oh, Citrix. It's a van, but with... It's a death trap is what it looks like. I have the sudden urge to use Citrix for whatever Citrix is. I bet it's also a bank. There's a massive bank robbery. Maybe that's who he's on the phone with.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Workspace software. That's in a car. Yeah. Imagine if they got into a minor car accident. Right? It's a death trap. Your head would smash
Starting point is 01:07:55 into 14 monitors. Why did we need the FBI character? Because the movie has an hour to 15 minutes left and they make a point to introduce these characters and then have other, bigger characters.
Starting point is 01:08:07 And you're like, why? I thought that was him. It seems like we already have the guy. That's this guy. Jordan, we haven't even been introduced to all of the characters yet. Oh, great. That's always a good sign. There are characters that are probably in the majority of the film that haven't been in the film yet.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Right, because we're not halfway through yet. They're going to show up and stay. You started mentioning the time, and the chat is having the realization that there's still an hour and 15 minutes left. And it's just everyone going, how? It's because this movie is paced insanely. Me too! It looks like that shot. Me too.
Starting point is 01:08:41 Nick yelled me too and held up an empty bottle. It's edited like like cased insanely It's edited like spring breakers, but like faster Did you ever watch MTV spring break? Yeah? Yeah, he went oh That party over here. Can you imagine how many people died? Like as an adult now thinking about it and like a teenager when I watched it like that's like the coolest thing ever Yeah, people must have just been dropping dead from the heat
Starting point is 01:09:06 right like just being drunk and dehydrated and dead look everyone's going crazy they're 21 everyone's 17 well no because the whole thing was like you didn't even have to be 21 it was like can't coon so it was like 19 year olds just like tits dicks everywhere
Starting point is 01:09:22 and people like dying and Carson Daly's like hi let's play this video. Yeah. That was crazy. I can't believe that. I feel like if there was a documentary on that, it would be similar to like the one. That's such a good idea.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Similar to the one on. No, no, no. American Gladiators. Oh. They're like, we're getting fucked up. People are doing drugs. Like that would be that. That had to be absolutely insane.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Yep. They should do a documentary. You know Carson Daly's got stories. They have billions of hours of footage. They filmed it all. That's shit that you would never tell anyone or show anyone and they aired it on MTV and anyone could watch it.
Starting point is 01:10:01 I would be like, this is normal. And anyone could watch it. And I would be like, this is normal. This is like the slowest part of the movie, probably. And... Hang on, LAPD is expected to speak. I like this fake CNN logo, too. The music doesn't stop. The camera doesn't stop.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Nothing stops. It's trying to trick you. It's trying to trick you into thinking something is happening. Let me ask you this. Maybe Face Jam is too much. Maybe you do Spit and Silly. Can we do a Spit and Silly where we have music play the entire episode? That's such a good idea.
Starting point is 01:10:35 It's this music that never gets more intense. It changes a little bit. It just goes the whole time. It might make what we're saying cooler. It could, yeah. Gracie's really talking about some soggy fry, but now I'm like, fuck, it kind of makes sense with the music. Ooh, fry test. Every now and then
Starting point is 01:10:51 we put in a little stinger or something. Like a bong. Gracie, how was your blue blue drink? It was probably delicious. It is delicious, but it's kind of getting to the point where it's all You gotta add water. You gotta add water You gotta add water Cause that's what ice is
Starting point is 01:11:08 Or Just so you know Add some margarita Your mouth is so Your whole head is blue You look like a fucking smurf That's okay I mean no one said it was bad.
Starting point is 01:11:26 I'm letting, I'm simply letting you know. Again, I'm not, I'm not trying to go out of my way, but like, Gracie leans closer to, if I was like, your mouth is blue, you'd be like, is it really? And then you would try to fix it? Gracie and my children go, is my mouth blue? Awesome. Let me see it. Then they go into a mirror and they go, ahhh.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It's so blue. It got so loud! Yeah, what's happening? It's very loud. It got really loud. It's the loudest the music has been. It's the loudest everything has been. Where was that cop going? Why did he just crash into the trunk?
Starting point is 01:12:04 Stop killing yourself! Why are you doing this? Why did he just crash into the truck? STOP KILLING YOURSELF! Why are you doing this? He was going- He cut the top of his car off! He was driving perpendicular to the ambulance. Also, this guy didn't give a fuck! He's like, oh, another dead guy, whatever. Like, nine cops have killed themselves so far. He's literally doing nothing. Yeah. He's sitting like, LINCOLN RILEY!
Starting point is 01:12:21 They just keep smashing and crashing. And they're not even hitting the ambulance. No one's pit maneuvering this thing. I feel like if you tap this thing, it would go rolling. It's very heavy. Where are the roadblocks? Why are there no roadblocks? They can't stop it.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Is this a convention center? What is he doing? This is the second Barney Garage they're in. This is where they have E3. Well, not anymore, but... Ah, because of this. Yeah, this was it. This is where they have Anime Expo. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Now, imagine this, but filled with too many people. The dog! Oh no! Why does he have the dog with him?! No! Take the dog home! Because he gave him the dog. Michael Bay put his real dog in the movie and that's awesome.
Starting point is 01:13:07 He put his real dog in the line of fire. Also, was that like bulletproof glass or something? Yeah. Yeah. Whose car is that? Cop car? Is that his car? Yeah, cool cop car. No, but just a regular cop car?
Starting point is 01:13:16 I don't think regular cop cars are bulletproof. No, fuck no. That's Batman shit. Well, the dog's in this one. He's shooting the glass. And he was going, Which tells me, bulletproof. What was that look? Gracie, if you made a movie, would you put cinnamon in it?
Starting point is 01:13:30 Fuck yeah. But I would never put her in the line of fire. Right, but it's not real though. Gracie, this is a movie. Right, that Jake Gyllenhaal looks like- No one actually shot at the dog. Can someone check doesthedogdie.com? Do we know?
Starting point is 01:13:43 Oh no, guys!, no. Guys. Oh, no. Red stuff's still coming out. He needs fluids. He is not LaDainian Tomlinson. Oh, he retired. All right. MikeTV in the chat says,
Starting point is 01:14:03 knowing this got made, I feel motivated. Motivated that I can do anything. It's true. Like, really. It really is good to watch a bad movie every now and then and be like, it's not that hard. No. And the thing about this movie is that
Starting point is 01:14:15 nothing in it is outright bad. Nothing in it is like, this is fucking terrible. It is just, it's insane. It's just breakneck crazy. And it's not even Michael Bay's best job at this type of movie. No, no. He's not doing bad boys. Does she even know that it's her husband?
Starting point is 01:14:36 No, but she started getting inkling. Yeah, she didn't get a phone call yet. Yep. And he's a good driver. Yeah, should they have established that? Like maybe he drove like a Humvee or something? Did I miss that? phone call yet. Yep. And he's a good driver. Yeah. Should they have established that? Like maybe he drove like a Humvee or something. Did I miss that?
Starting point is 01:14:49 They talk about him in Afghanistan. Like he has like a couple of lines about it. And being a driver. And they didn't say it real early. Well, it was in my first life. And he knows about the Texas switch. When he was doing all the bill stuff. He had like a military.
Starting point is 01:14:59 I saw all that. That's him. But did he do anything? Right. With a car. With a car in Afghanistan. Because then like, you know, this this could have been a through line. Did they mention car thing?
Starting point is 01:15:08 I don't remember. I think he mentions driving. I think he does say you drive good. Uh-oh. I do think he say you drive good. Oh, shit. Drive good, just like you did in the military. She thought he was just shot in the leg.
Starting point is 01:15:19 He was shot in the legs. Oh, maybe she's not the best paramedic. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. So this movie came out in 2021. It's two years after Michael Bay released Six Underground, which is a Netflix movie with Ryan Reynolds. And it was pretty, like, panned as a movie that was just like, this kind of, like, doesn't go far enough.
Starting point is 01:15:38 It's not like a Michael Bay. Like, it doesn't feel like. This came out last year. This is 2022. Oh, this is 2021, is it? No, I'm looking at it right now. So, this is... Okay, that makes more sense.
Starting point is 01:15:48 So, this is his... So, why didn't they say Max Verstappen? Fucked up. I think the rest of the movie tells you why. It sucks. And Metallic Cat's right. Like, Six Underground was not very good. It wasn't very good.
Starting point is 01:16:00 He made this movie outside of all of that stuff. Kind of like a response to it. And he just went, Oh, I didn't do enough? I didn't do enough. And then hired all the fucking drones and everything? That's the best. Well, I mean, I'll be honest. I still don't think he's doing enough.
Starting point is 01:16:15 No. He's just shoehorned in those drone shots and is making some cars flip over willy nilly. Look, there's another drone shot. Breed? Okay, so if we trap him... Oh, no! Friends? You fucking thought you knew everything, Jordan.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Come on. Jordan, you didn't know shit. Dude, this runs deeper than I could have ever known. They hung out. It's crazy. For some reason, six people all closely tied to each other are very invested in this whole thing and what's going on. I don't know. What a coincidence.
Starting point is 01:17:06 In a town of three million people. they're driving all over they used to be friends guys wow yeah you can't undo that i don't lie to me i love exposition in this movie i love it i love that it's happening an hour and 10 minutes in. Oh, to be a bitter criminal. Oh, the two-way glass was two ways. I thought you couldn't see me. Bertie said, that line made me laugh so hard in the theater,
Starting point is 01:17:40 I think it's my favorite. We're friends. I remember laughing out loud when that happened. 37. Oh, Shelby, you missed it the fbi guy is friends with jake gyllenhaal's character what that's unbelievable right you never even fucking saw it coming they used to be yeah yeah yeah back in college now they keep shooting through the bullet hole i love that they're not showing the actor who plays the cop they They're showing blood. They're showing everyone else Oh, they only needed him for a half day. Yeah, really you're in the beginning. He's done moron Yeah, but but my characters in the ambulance for the rest of the movie. Yeah, we just won't show you
Starting point is 01:18:14 Do you remember what happens here in this scene? No What's he doing right now they have to figure out how to help him until they get to the ambulance. So they have to call a doctor. Right. Do you remember them calling a doctor? That'll help. Yeah. Here's a little icing.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Again, I don't like doing this, but here. Oh, yeah. Oh. This guy's... This guy is also a really good actor. You're not in that ambulance I was watching on TV. But I don't want to.
Starting point is 01:19:19 I don't like pointing guns. Anyway. Look at this guy's house, and it's like, get it? He's eating linguine. He doesn't have time. All right. Hang on. More doctors.
Starting point is 01:19:31 Don't talk in his backswing. Cool. FaceTime the whole gang in. All right, guys. Be prepared for the coolest part of this movie. I'm leaning in Not good People behind them are pissed. Play through! Play through! I'm on the phone with the woman in the ambulance!
Starting point is 01:20:08 Oh, shit! Oh, I was watching that on my phone! That's crazy, sorry! First, get them all wet. This guy's way too dry. Get them all wet. Jake's driving. Alright, time immediately crashes.
Starting point is 01:20:23 This is why you're the good driver. You thought you were good. Look, I'm holding this laptop with these real images on it. Look how real the bottom of the computer looks. Holding it so steadily. It looks like a kid's toy that has a sticker on it.
Starting point is 01:20:44 His vitals aren't changing! It's like Buzz kid's toy that has a sticker on it. Yup. Like... His vitals aren't changing! It's like Buzz Lightyear's little... That's exactly what it looks like, dude. And on set they're just going, It's gonna look so good in post. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. It's just green. It's a green thing she's holding. Oh, she's talking to him.
Starting point is 01:21:00 She's holding. Oh, she's talking to him. He's smart. He's so smart. You're the head of bank division. The super real division. And if it is real, still dumb. Actually, bank division is quite a serious thing. Banks get robbed every day.
Starting point is 01:21:22 I'm in the FBI in the bank division. And most, I mean, I could be wrong here Most people don't get promoted to the FBI They just go to the FBI You don't get it I'm just going back to the therapy session With him and his friend So he wasn't in the FBI before Big promotion, big FBI
Starting point is 01:21:42 He implied he got promoted from a cop to an FBI guy No, he was like a bank teller. He's FBI. Oh That's why he's in charge of bank guys the bank guy. Oh Gross this is like an er when they bring out the ribs I mean, it's the same movie that should that impaled it hit at the beginning for no forgot about that I thought that was weeks. There's more impaled kid at the beginning for no reason. Oh, I forgot about that. I thought that was weeks ago. No reason.
Starting point is 01:22:05 Oh, God. Okay. Thanks for acting it out. He's making jokes. Oh, boy. Cool. This is like Saw. They're just playing in this guy's guts. Quick, Eric, eat a toxic waste.
Starting point is 01:22:27 It'll make you feel better. All right, start digging around inside of him. Is this going to be one of those we got to get the bullet out things? I don't even know what they're doing. The bullet is the least of his worries. Shut the fuck up. Oh, no, the fuck up. Oh no, the marinara. The marinara.
Starting point is 01:22:51 Spilled. Okay, here comes the cool part. Here comes the cool part. Yep. How do you know? It's working. Why are they not trying to stop the ambulance? Because he'll die.
Starting point is 01:23:19 Oh, that's right. They know that they're doing the surgery. Tension. Sparks are flying. Maybe she's not the best. Sparks are flying. Show me the spleen. Show me the spleen.
Starting point is 01:23:37 Show me the spleen. Do you guys want to see the spleen now? Show me the spleen. Do you guys want to see the spleen? Oh, no. The way Gracie is watching the'm watching your face go just so I can see if there's blood or not he's awake with of him? Bro, you shot him. Oh, damn. That was positive.
Starting point is 01:24:08 He really hates this guy. I fixed it. I fixed it, everyone. And he's resting comfortably. Was that the answer? No anesthesia, just a concussion. Yeah. Okay, he's out.
Starting point is 01:24:23 He's going to wake up with CTE. Bigger problem. Has the spleen already been shown? He's not going to remember a spleen. No, guys, we haven't seen the spleen yet. The spleen is my favorite character. Okay. Tyler just walked in for the spleen. Tyler opened the door and said,
Starting point is 01:24:39 heard there's spleen? Yeah. Here he comes. Yeah. No, he's got 20 minutes. Good lord. There it is. It's so graphic. Yeah, don't worry. Can you just...
Starting point is 01:24:49 She's looking at it. Can you just put that back in and it's fine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it works. Yep. Yeah! Cool. Cool.
Starting point is 01:24:57 Cool. Like a gusher, Tyler. That's right. That's right. What's in the way? Crazy, crazy, crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Cool. Cool. Like a gusher. Like a gusher, Tyler. That's right.
Starting point is 01:25:05 That's right. What's the- Gracie- Gracie still kinda saw it. What's this- Oh no, her laptop's dying! TURN IT IN! Oh god! That's just like my laptop where it's like, battery low, and then it shuts off.
Starting point is 01:25:18 Right after the spleen blows up in your hands, it always dies. Oh man. How are you gonna get that blood back in that spleen? What uh- What was this movie rated oh oh negative yep which one's the good blood is it oh I think oh yeah you can use it for every well yeah oh I mean either it as magic blood. I mean, either it's magic or every other blood is shit blood. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 01:25:49 That's true. You know, in Japan, that's how, like, that's like, uh, like astrology. They use, like, the... Oh, really? Yeah, like, when you, like, Street Fighter 2 had, like, here's Ryu, he's AB positive. And you're like, the fuck is that?
Starting point is 01:26:00 Do you know what your blood type is? I have no idea. I have no idea either. I don't know. And I feel like I should know. Yeah, either. And I feel like I should know. Yeah, oh, I definitely feel like I should know. I'm pretty well versed on, like, my, like, adult stuff. Me too.
Starting point is 01:26:10 I don't know my own blood type. I have no idea. Got it taken so many times. Do I just ask? I guess so. By the way, when you're poking around in there, can you let me know? Yeah. Take a little bit extra.
Starting point is 01:26:19 You've taken six vials of blood from me. Can I know what kind it is? Is it good? Can I have a taste? Can I sell it? Dude, I have such good blood now. Is all the blood over? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:30 For this part. Besides the next 55 minutes. We're sub one hour. We are under one hour. Thank you, first members for tuning in and watching Jambulance. Whoa! Yeah, he did the Walter White.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Yeah, hell yeah. Also, you think you've seen so much of this movie, so much more happens. Wow. This movie's crazy. Ah! What? I hate the blood in the hand thing. We're still getting her backstory.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Are they following her? Yeah, she has beautiful hair, and they're giving the backstory about how she's on drugs. She looks great for everything she's been through. And she's on hidden for a gallon with her and that surgeon. Which is kind of crazy because, lady, he's a surgeon and you're not getting any younger! Hello! In this city, he's like, uh... And... prescriptions.
Starting point is 01:27:20 Yep. True. And there you go. Nick wants... Don't eat her addiction. Okay, Nick. Prescriptions! Yeah. Nick wants... Don't anchor addiction. Okay, Nick. She's struggling enough as it is. I think she's... I don't remember if that's the moment, but like she reveals like... She's a flawed person.
Starting point is 01:27:34 I'm like on speed all the time. Awesome. Yeah, she does say that. Everyone says I'm the best, but I feel like the worst. But I am the best, thanks to my performance in Hands and Drugs. Also, every time I get on scene, I give someone speed. So it artificially keeps them alive for 20 minutes.
Starting point is 01:27:50 When they were cutting out that little girl, it's because I just gave her some sweet chili. Everyone says they feel great. I'm the best. Oh yeah, this is the part where Jake Gyllenhaal has just been driving and they're on the 105. Are they ever going to run out of gas? Is that going to become a problem? Somebody in the chat had brought that up.
Starting point is 01:28:10 They're like, they are speeding the whole time and they're in an ambulance. Gas is an issue. That's the worst area. That's like the worst area to drive. I would just get on this freeway, go to the airport. LAX, I love driving through there. jealous freeway go to the airport. Yeah Lax I like the 105 to the 605 get off on Rose crane now. We're talking baby speaking my fucking language We're selling California. I used to live baby. It's
Starting point is 01:28:38 It's all about how you get there Mm-hmm be high boy cut the bullshit did he say Silver Lake I lived there for a summer yeah I don't know why Silver Lake liberal would be in there I think they're all liberals
Starting point is 01:29:03 it's Silver Lake really ultra conservative Silver Lake liberal. I think they're all liberals. Yes. It's Silver Lake. I'm really ultra conservative. It's Silver Lake. Yeah. If they don't live in Orange County, they're liberal. I mean, Echo Park and these are traditional values. God, I love this fucking movie.
Starting point is 01:29:30 I feel like I'm going to watch it again just to pick up on all the other stuff. I feel like I'm never going to watch it again. I miss. I want more of the stupid details. Sniper team. Whoa, shit. The snipers? Uh-huh. I also have no idea what they've been trying to do, because all I can see is they've been chasing him.
Starting point is 01:29:50 Uh-huh. It's been one big chase. Oh my god. He's a sniper.'s that's very high that doesn't sound hard at all 90 80 that's barely passing hmm All right, here it comes. I'm surprised so many people are actually yielding for the ambulance. What? I'm going to call him. Yeah, I don't think he can talk right now.
Starting point is 01:30:43 Yeah, I think he's... Yeah, he got punched out. Did you not see what happened to his spleen? She's been keeping this guy alive for way longer than 20 minutes. That's what I'm saying. Well, she's the best. New record. She is the best.
Starting point is 01:30:58 She's having a moment. Why does he have the Watchmen happy face on his phone? Who watches them? Because he didn't understand what he read. Because he only saw the movie. It's also why he likes The Punisher. Yeah, absolutely. We didn't see it on his car, but it was there.
Starting point is 01:31:33 Hell yeah. This music. hell yeah this music i feel like it's trying to build tension but it's just not doing it i listened to the soundtrack for this movie not too long ago does it put you to sleep did you i don't remember any of it it is noise noise. Yeah. Yeah, it is just background noise But not in a way that's like memorable. Are they all gonna shoot it once? Hell yeah What do they think like today did they think the cop was dead? Yeah, because the spleen exploded. Yep He can't die. Here comes.! Oh no. Oh, sniper shot! Oh, come on! Oh, Jesus, sniper! Come on! He pointed? He picked him out immediately? Whoa, good duck. A lot of those shots fucking suck. Yeah. Hey. Damn. A lot of those shots fucking suck.
Starting point is 01:32:22 Yeah. Hey. Hey, 90% chance of success. Ah, they're dying around them! Not again. The lemmings. They've still done nothing to cause this. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:32:35 Here we go! Oh, oh. Oh my god. I'll take my seatbelt off! Can't believe this didn't work. Doesn't make any sense. They just took that car out.
Starting point is 01:33:00 Now we're getting into the traffic section. They did say it's rush hour. You mean the LA section. Yep. Oh, he's back here now. That was fast. Dodge Ram. Yep. I'm gonna Google that. What's that? I think I want one.
Starting point is 01:33:23 I want a Ram and that guy's dog. Yeah. Right now. What's with that face? He was like, look at him. I'll kill you. He doesn't know I'm listening to what he's saying. I can hear you.
Starting point is 01:33:50 Oh my god. Yeah, that's right. I'm a little bit cocky about this. Yeah. We're all on the edge of our fucking scene. What would his father have done? No. Make him tell you what my father would have done. What, he would have adopted you too?
Starting point is 01:34:18 Yeah. He's my other brother. He adopted the whole city. We're not just friends. That's right. We're three brothers. Deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh. And then the cop, too.
Starting point is 01:34:30 And me. Yeah, yeah. And then the paramedic, and I'm their sister. Thanks, bro. Nothing. He's standing up. He's looking at me like a creep. Like a creep.
Starting point is 01:34:57 Oh, yeah. That's what their parents told him. Time for some snowflake commentary. Welcome to the Bayhem. You think just anyone can make a movie like this? You gotta be out of your fucking mind to hire every drone leak racer. Oh no! No mercy. Oops, did I cause that? Did I make him do that to me?
Starting point is 01:35:25 No, the consequences of my actions! Whoa! Stop, bro! Stop! No! Classic brothers. Stop! It's my hot pocket! This was me and my brother at his wedding.
Starting point is 01:35:44 I'm telling mom! That was was oddly that was you and your father That was your father when he said you had to pick up your grandparents and they were both in wheelchairs That's what you were doing They said you don't have a hotel room Take that, Larry! Yup. Yup. Stop choking him. He's driving.
Starting point is 01:36:22 I remember he choked Larry like that right before we left the office. And I kept going, it's fine. He's just mad, he's upset His brother's getting married He can't go to the beach Eric had That beach trip was awesome Eric had Larry pinned to the wall holding him up And Michael's just like, it's okay It's not about you
Starting point is 01:36:39 He's not going to the beach Me sending pictures of Eric of me and all my friends at the beach And him sending me pictures of him And it's raining and there's a horse. It's about right. Damn, Eric, guess you won. That's fucking odd. You could have broken your finger too. God damn.
Starting point is 01:36:56 All right, that's true. Fingers to get broken. Man, they're so good at insulting each other. Yeah. All right, they're cool though. They're brothers. Yeah, they're brothers. It's all right. They're cool. Oh they're brothers. Yeah, they're brothers. All right. It's fine
Starting point is 01:37:11 It literally was yesterday Yeah, I mean there's been some timescales it's probably like three hours Just pull over. What? God, the cutting. The close-up to the mouth. This is Michael Bay. I'm getting sick.
Starting point is 01:37:41 All right, man. Hold the cameras. There we go. Those two shots right there. I told you it was gonna happen. Oh, people are talking? Check this out. This is how you edit a dialogue scene. You know, sticky. I think we should go back and re-edit It Happened One Night Like This. Oh, my dinner with Andre. My dinner with Andre.
Starting point is 01:38:09 Dude, you need to work him. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? He's eating hot Cheetos. Oh, hell yeah. L'Amour? Probably not. Give some to the dog.
Starting point is 01:38:21 No way. Make him go... Is the dog even with him still? No, it's the other car. The other car, right? Yeah, he's with the partner Which where'd he go did he blow up yet? He crashed into a wall yet. What do you mean yet? I mean every other car is doing it and the parking every cop car in the movie is smashing into a wall I'm sure big jugs of water checking does the dog die you know the dog is better
Starting point is 01:38:40 No, that's fine. That's fine. You missed the whole section where that guy for whatever reason Explains that he doesn't go east of downtown. Oh really? Do you know how much of LA is east of downtown? all of it I go from downtown to the beach. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, she calling She's calling doesn't know about, yeah. That's it. That's right, yeah. She's calling. She's calling. Doesn't know about the... Yeah. That it's him, I guess, on the news
Starting point is 01:39:08 or maybe she's the only person in LA not watching the news. Yep. He got a job. He's just... He's just lying to her? Yeah. On FaceTime.
Starting point is 01:39:17 But he didn't have to. He didn't turn the video on. But also he's got, like, the window down. Yeah. And, like, there's so much going on. The phone call will be going for one second she'll be like
Starting point is 01:39:26 where are you? are you in a car? what are you doing? and she's just like hey what's up? oh god aww listen to this music
Starting point is 01:39:36 aww it's emotional so sad my heart hurts poor lady yeah exactly poor woman has no idea what's going on
Starting point is 01:39:43 with her man according to doesthedogdie.com the dog is is in danger, though as far as we know, he survived. Thank God. Do you want to go see him again? The dog is in danger. That's a website? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:53 Oh yeah, it comes in handy. Look up John Wick. No. No. What happens in Cujo? Oh no! The dog wins. Turner and Hooch.
Starting point is 01:40:03 Look up Turner and Hooch. What happens in Old Yeller? Oh shit. Oh no! The dog wins. Turner and Hitch. Look up Turner and Hitch. Yeah, what happens to an old yeller, man? Oh, shit. I really like that Gracie would put Cinnamon in a movie, but not in the way of Gunfire. No, never. Yeah, the real Gunfire. You don't want to make people check that website. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:40:18 Cinnamon lives. Good swirling sound. Can you hear it? Of course I can hear it. Gracie, it's all we can hear. I thought it was the movie. Honestly, with the music hear it Gracie it's all week and year I thought it was it's now louder honestly with the with the music
Starting point is 01:40:28 it's the saddest swirling ever heard I thought it was the dog I was just watching it happen so I knew what it was just giving the people a little ASMR that's definitely
Starting point is 01:40:38 what they want during this 93 minutes in 93 minutes in someone's going I wish somebody would swish a straw around in some someone's gone. I wish somebody would At least you spill on yourself
Starting point is 01:40:58 Who would have done that? Well, let me just make my Thanksgiving plate. Where's the closest lap? All right, all right Thanksgiving plate. Where's the closest lap? Yeah! Where's the closest lap? Alright! Alright, remember those guys they talked to earlier? Yeah, I was wondering what happened to them. I'm in the ambulance. Wonder no more! I'm in the ambulance.
Starting point is 01:41:13 Oh wow. Oh wow. Wow. Wow. What? Do you think they explode? What's the guy's hold up? Let me just say, if Eric came to me and said, just, hey, can you do this thing for me, whatever, whatever,
Starting point is 01:41:35 I don't think he'd be like, I don't know, man. It seems a little sketch with all the explosives and the guns and all these guys that look like they're gonna murder me are you sure about this yeah no it's for face jam okay I guess this is how we get the van this is it yeah this is how we get five vans oh yeah oh turn it up turn it oh yeah I thought this was at the beginning of the movie. No! Also, that never works right. When you try to share AirPods, it always turns off. It's like, are you clicking it? Oh, it's out of your ear.
Starting point is 01:42:11 Are you clicking it? I didn't click it. Stop. This was Jake Gyllenhaal's idea. Okay. This was not in the movie. Great fucking idea. Oh. I was so drunk watching this, and this happened, and I went, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. This is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 01:42:31 I think you started texting me at this point. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think I was texting you going, you have to see Ambulance. It doesn't show me out. You looked fine for a second there. Anyway, we're going to drive into the ocean. Yeah, attempt to drive into the river.
Starting point is 01:42:51 Here we go. Here we continue to go. Now, here we go. This is part of the plan. Something new is being initiated. This is where the zombie apocalypse started in Fear of the Walking Dead. This is where they had the big race in Greece. In the L.A. River? Yeah. This is the best part apocalypse started in Fear of the Walking Dead. This is where they had the big race in Greece. In the LA River?
Starting point is 01:43:06 Yeah. This is the best part of Terminator. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Terminator 2. Yeah. That's what the music is. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:43:15 Oh. Sorry about your pants. That was his pants, not my pants. Sorry about your pants, dude. I'm Michael. That's Eric. You sound alike. I've Michael. That's Eric. You sound alike. I've heard that before.
Starting point is 01:43:27 Die. I can't tell them apart. Really? Why don't you join this chase? Throw him in there. I mean, because they don't die. This is Nick driving one of the cars that crashes into a wall. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:45 He's not even in the chase. He's just driving. I know. Right, yeah. If you get assigned to this chase, it's a death sentence. I thought that helicopter was going to crash for some reason. What? It wouldn't do that.
Starting point is 01:43:56 All right. They've gotten out of the ambulance. What was it going to do? Why would it do that? Yeah, it doesn't have a weapon on it. It's like it's trying to scare a caveman I'm a flying metal bird Indiana Jones time travel Oh dial a destiny stuff
Starting point is 01:44:22 Oh Damn Oh Oh, damn. Nick loves this music. Yeah, these drums. Simulating drums over there. Racing through the water. I got guns. How would you not hit the helicopter is my question.
Starting point is 01:44:40 Why even bother shooting at the helicopter? It doesn't seem to be doing anything. There's not water everywhere. There's not water everywhere. There's not. You guys wouldn't know. Honestly, it's mostly not water. It's famous for being mostly not water. That's why so many movies are shot in the LA River.
Starting point is 01:45:00 Yeah, but in the river there's water everywhere. Again, what are the helicopters gonna do crash into them? That's definitely Jake Gyllenhaal looks just like him and now what the fuck You can't do that. They have been doing it the whole movie. This has broken so many rules. Press him. Kill yourselves, quick. Good call, Nick.
Starting point is 01:45:34 Smash into anything that's stationary. If it's not moving, ram into it. Send him a message. Send these concrete barriers a message. We're willing to die to get you! We're gonna- we're gonna chase out construction out of Los Angeles. It's- again, it is an ambulance. Whoa! He's like that guy we saw driving back from Curragh.
Starting point is 01:46:00 Yes, absolutely. Uh, that was all fake. No! No, that was real. All of that was fake. Oh, he's frowning now. Again, remember when they flew him in? He's like, I am an expert. I wanna know what his plan is currently. He's done nothing.
Starting point is 01:46:13 Throw every civilian he can at him. Everything he does is wrong, it's great. What? What move? They did nothing! Don't crash is the move. It's his first day crash again three hours ago it was not a criminal also that guy is constantly throughout this film stopped and then moving and then stopped and then moving and it's
Starting point is 01:46:35 like alright let's roll and I don't know why he's ever not rolling up can I tell you the part that's about to happen uh Is it insane? Blue my fucking mind. Alright guys, they've been working towards this forever. Now, you've heard this plan before, right? I mean they said it. It's like, oh we're gonna make a bunch. And then you're not gonna know. You're not gonna know which one it is, Jordan. And the whole movie, I just thought, I just thought, any...
Starting point is 01:47:01 Just generic action film. Any Jason Bourne, he's driving around in a little tiny car, and there's a bunch of tiny cars. Which one's his tiny car? And then this happens, and I was just speechless. It all leads to this. They all stopped and parked and got out. The last scene with him in it was him closing a trunk like, let's roll.
Starting point is 01:47:23 And now he stopped again. Well, he rolled here. He rolled to this spot and stopped again. Yep. You want to let him relax more than you have been so far. It's been pretty relaxing. I know we've been putting the pressure on them. Yeah, I know we've got 14 funerals to go to next week.
Starting point is 01:47:41 We can't worry about that now. He's telling Will to walk away. Like, just get out of this. What? What? What the fuck does that mean? Switch the fucking switch. They're going to paint the whole thing green Jordan you have to watch ambulance
Starting point is 01:48:10 to really understand an ambulance it's also one of those things where you see him spraying it and you go that's so unrealistic that would never work right like oh they're gonna spray it and he's gonna leave and he's gonna come back and it's gonna be all sprayed yep okay it's also like it's the real deal it's like why do you need that many
Starting point is 01:48:32 yeah i bet it's one ambulance it's also all wired to each other i bet one bomb would blow up all the other bombs jesus christ he's still doing it though yeah he's doing it as he's wiping it and Jesus Christ He's still doing it though He's doing it as he's wiping it And he's still doing it It doesn't even make any sense It's not even a comic miscommunication No
Starting point is 01:48:53 Look at it That looks great Look at the ambulance Look at it This is a great idea Oh it's a bank vehicle Crazy They'll never find it
Starting point is 01:49:01 I don't No never Wait I sure wouldn't find it Like Huh? You know what let him go Is he driving They'll never find it. I don't. No, never. Wait. I sure wouldn't find it. Like, huh? You know what? Let him go.
Starting point is 01:49:08 Is he driving the one with the bombs in it? He's got an ambulance. Are they going to kill Castro finally? Fanciful Dave in the chat just says, it's gone. Yeah. So now, here's the thing. Uh-huh. Okay, here come the ambulances.
Starting point is 01:49:25 There's a bullet hole in the one. But also, now it's the only green one. Yeah. Why? Why did you paint it? You'll see. It's not a good trick. I mean, it started out as one.
Starting point is 01:49:43 It's green now. Right. It's fucking spray-painted green. they go. Oh, I guess that's it. I What huh? Common army trick looking the same right so so five of them look the same and then there's the one green one That's not a green ambulance Jake Gyllenhaal's ideal scenario instead of of it being green, it would be blue. It would look like that, but blue. Correct.
Starting point is 01:50:08 It would look like you took the spray paint tool and went... I don't think it would make a difference what color it is if this is what you're going for. Why did they paint it at all? All is revealed with an ambulance. They all look the same already. He's an accomplice now. Poor Castro. I feel...
Starting point is 01:50:30 What the fuck? It's driving in the background. It's just a normal ambulance. It's a normal neon green... How did nobody notice it? Jordan, it's a normal neon green spray-painted ambulance, dude. What kind of horse shit is this? I hate this fucking movie No, no, that's him is this is this when you texted Michael I was wrong
Starting point is 01:50:54 Nah, dude, no way baby. He said Eric just said I'm not sure how but I just bought stocks in this film Failure to send failure to send Jumping out the bag. It was a little hard, like crazy. Here it goes! Hey, remember how that guy's stationary and then not? Check out Not Bitch. No, you can't kill him!
Starting point is 01:51:16 He's got a dog to go home to! Oh shit! Jesus Christ. Isn't this the scene where somebody almost dies? Like in the filming? Yeah, like they filmed it and I think somebody almost dies That guy did look very close to that Yeah, so like they got injured
Starting point is 01:51:32 Or it was like they almost got blown up No, like something like the car flipped into him Or they got like hit or something That guy right there He's not acting I think what they showed, you're right I think that is the guy who got hurt. We've been trying to save cops all day.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Not these guys. Directed by John Landis. Get an ambulance! Officers down! Good news, boss. If only there was a green ambulance. That suspicious guy running away and throwing a detonator on the ground. A very clear detonator.
Starting point is 01:52:03 Hey, who are those guys? That doesn't look like an RC car. What the? What? Hey! What is this shot? Hey, watch this. Oh no, the detonator.
Starting point is 01:52:18 You have a gun, shoot him. Huh? What? Wait. Everyone's just so dazed. Whatever you do, don't shoot it! Oh, now shoot it. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE This is insane. This is just like Breaking Bad. Couldn't they have just used the Gatling gun from where they were standing on the bridge? Yes.
Starting point is 01:52:46 And done the exact same thing? Instead of driving a car in at five miles an hour and doing it? With the fake guy in it? Shoot at the gun! Shoot the bullets back into it! It's the only way to stop it! What are they shooting at? That's okay.
Starting point is 01:53:02 They have USC on in the hospital. At least they killed the dummy guys. Oh! Oh no! That's okay, they have USC on in the hospital. Oh! At least they killed the dummy guys. Suspect down. Insane. The other guys with the remote were 20 feet behind that. Why didn't they shoot them? I still can't believe the green ambulance snuck by in the background.
Starting point is 01:53:20 Dude, because he was buying time. He was like, I don't even know how I got in this ambulance. And they tricked him. But why was it green? but why was the grade guys we still got 30 minutes again not just spray-painted green it's just spray paint looking for something that they were like why they might try to hide could that be it no that's green that's great no forget about it it's green. Forget about it. It's green. Whoa! His spleen exploded. I don't think that's where the spleen is. What was that? Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:53:50 Whoa. No. They would not show this on TV. Yeah, they would. Exclusive. Yeah. They would on Fox News. They would, and they have. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:04 This is going to be so much paperwork. Yeah, imagine the police report for this. I got to wear a fitted backwards hat more often. That's a look. That's such a... Again, this movie, I think, takes place in 2004. So why was that guy in this movie? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:54:21 To lead the chase. Yeah. The guy that just got chain gunned. Yeah. He did nothing. He was leading the whole thing. He did nothing the whole movie. And he's not.
Starting point is 01:54:32 The FBI guy is connected more to him. So he should have been that guy. I know. But they brought him in an hour and 20 minutes into the film. For some reason. Again, don't let this movie keep you from... if you got an idea for a movie... I mean obviously it can get made. Go for it. We're watching it. And we tricked so many other people into watching it with us.
Starting point is 01:54:54 And it wasn't easy. I am tricked as well. We tricked you. I'm one of them. You're welcome. Your microphone got sad for a second. It did. It went, ooooh. So is it done? Did they did they escape? These guys are about to kill them now. Yeah No, they would never double-cross them. Well. They just lost someone
Starting point is 01:55:17 It's like his nephew or something do they even have the money are they like? You have some amount of money Where's this big backpack? He just took it out of the ambulance They have the money? Are they, like... They have some amount of money. Where's this big backpack? He just took it out of the ambulance. They have some money. What if they're like, get out or I'll shoot you? I'm in an impasse here. He told me not to.
Starting point is 01:55:40 Also, this cop is... He should be dead. He's fine, dude. His spleen is being held together with a scrunchie. to also also this cop is he should be dead he's fine dude he should be dead find his his spleen is being held together with a scrunchie 20 minutes keep anyone alive for 20 minutes you read that happened like 30 minutes no no it I mean yeah he got shot like 25 minutes into the film uh-huh why is it his money I think it was like is Is he doing the job for him?
Starting point is 01:56:06 It was a whole thing. Yeah, he was supposed to get a cut and this and that, whatever. Yep. So it's like, if he got fucked... That's eight million? Yep. Uh, I believe that. I guess if they're all hundos.
Starting point is 01:56:16 It's... You could get a lot of money in a small thing. My spleen hurts. I don't think it does, actually. Why can't I feel my spleen? I don't think my spleen hurts I don't think it does Why can't I feel my spleen I don't think my spleen hurts at all I think I have appendicitis Why do I feel like I have a spleen hole in my body
Starting point is 01:56:33 This guy is up and talking Impossible He's coherent Do you think Kim will go out with me He would have died in four minutes I'll never know Kim's last name. Kim is not into you, especially after today. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:50 She's going to take one look at him and be like, Kim is not going to be impressed by him getting shot. Look at this spleen motherfucker. She was there when he didn't notice the bank was getting robbed. And he kept going, really empty. This is crazy. You look nervous. Yeah, not much of a meet cute, huh?
Starting point is 01:57:06 I was being held at gunpoint. He didn't notice. He's in a helicopter now. They get around. It's fine. This over here is around. We're in a Dodge Ram. Maybe I want to buy a helicopter i'm on a roof
Starting point is 01:57:26 and i'm standing in the middle of the street oh no chain guns so so they had this whole thing worked out where he was going to get a cut of the money but his son's dead now that was his son i believe that is his son or his nephew oh yeah they fucked up it's personal. Oh, it's his son. There you go. Oh, shit. Well, no, it makes you lucky. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:53 He's dead. I mean, yeah. I mean, you sent him out there to blow shit up. Don't you usually, like, have people? Yeah. Right? Yeah, why send him? You're at the top of this, like, organization.
Starting point is 01:58:01 Yeah, it's weird that- It's like, my only son. I only just sent my son to do this. Not some other guy. It's not like Tony Soprano sending AJ Yeah, I mean that is what that was that was like if he sent AJ out there and what the fuck you couldn't do it I want you to uh what you help Chrissy Yeah, you guys get along right In any Yeah, you guys get along, right? Are they in any scenes together?
Starting point is 01:58:29 Impossible. They spared us to this point. See what happens when they're outside of the ambulance? You gotta stay in the ambulance. People forget allegiances. But the ambulance binds us. The ambulance keeps us safe. It's the glue that holds us together.
Starting point is 01:58:46 The shot that's about to happen is one of the coolest shots in the movie. It's so sick. I'm not a cool shots guy. I don't typically care. Drone shot from the gun through his head. You're about to find out. Your inner sanctum? This is your inner sanctum? It's just a warehouse in Boyle Heights It looks like it's really hot Also she's an EMT
Starting point is 01:59:12 It doesn't matter And you're not the master of mystical arts Inner sanctum Where's Wong? I'll kill you and your 50 men. All of a sudden, he's a loose cannon. I have training. You're not?
Starting point is 01:59:43 I mean, you shot a cop. Well, no, he didn't. Well, you're the... They're just trying to get home, dude, after all the events they caused. That's some good spinning. They're just trying to get home, dude. All these things happened to us, not because of you. We were just minding our own business at the bank. I can't wait for that argument in the trial.
Starting point is 01:59:58 We were trying to take the payday money sitting there, and then you did this. We were just two guys. And then the other guy got his legs run over for nothing Yeah brothers you might say I mean I just don't know why you need to do this when you have so much how much like money that you have like a Keurig already Thinking about it though, I'm thinking about it. Oh you guys might get a text from me later. Massive bank robbery, DT Austin? DT ATX?
Starting point is 02:00:29 Massive bank robbery. From a number I've never seen before? Okay, I'm going to tell you this. If I'm of sound enough mind later, you'll get something. Oh, hell yeah. I can't wait. I might be asleep. You'll'll get it
Starting point is 02:00:54 You fucked up an hour and 40 minutes ago, man There was no saving when you had five minutes to think about it. You should have said that I don't think so. Yeah I'll take my coffee to go. Different movie. We're starting to wind down on time, though. I'm getting nervous. Are you getting scared? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:21 We only have like 20 minutes left. How are they going to get away with it? Plus, there's credits, so really we only got like 15. That's true, yeah. Oh no. You have to list all the drone operator names, man. It takes a while. They're all named like, by their gamer tag.
Starting point is 02:01:33 Yeah. Yeah. Six. Six. A lot of X's. A lot of X's. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:01:39 XXBRO. Spitfire. Yeah. XXNeo. IXI. Joker's Minds. XX Bro Spitfire XX Neo IX I Joker's Minds 69
Starting point is 02:01:51 Twisted Brother Yeah, he's a pretty, when I was watching this whole movie I was thinking, this guy's a hero Yep Great driver, shot a cop. Right, it was heroic when you shot that guy. Yep. I love that they're giving them so much time to talk about it. Yep.
Starting point is 02:02:20 I'll never forget that time we were kids and we pretend drove that truck. Yep. Played Atari. Played Atari. Played Atari. Just go left. Go left. Go left! It's code.
Starting point is 02:02:35 Eric, it's code. Hey, why don't we go left together? Go left. Go left. Go left! How many times do I have to say if that was, if if that were like Michael and Eric in that situation Eric would just be like What the fuck are you talking about Fuck yeah
Starting point is 02:02:55 Yeah That's my brother We don't know if he's dead Oh no he's all over his inner sanctum Dude that guy looks too well Yeah I know His blood went back up the floor into him you know what these guys are heroes now yeah that was pretty
Starting point is 02:03:10 heroic well I just killed those people they're just two guys trying to get home they're just trying to get home yeah can you believe this wasn't a video game look at it green ambulance they really should have yeah surprised. I didn't have a game You didn't even see I'm a hero Why did you look shocked you did something what did you did? That's what these do Who shot him? I thought it was a medic gun. Yeah. I thought it was like a mercy thing where I'm healing you Thought I'd shot a magical elixir that cured all wounds. It's like a Team Fortress 2 situation. Yeah All right, we're out of we drove through five clotheslines
Starting point is 02:03:58 Why wouldn't they get a different car because it's already incognito? Yeah, because it already got through once It's so green. Look, no one will ever know. Why is it green? Here it is. Grenade launcher. I'm still so mad. Okay.
Starting point is 02:04:13 What are you doing? Why did they do the slow motion shot of the gun if they didn't show the bullet? It's the best. I love it. He just decided at this point, slow motion. Why did he blow that guy up? He blew his friend up. Why?
Starting point is 02:04:32 I guess he was like, I'll catapult you into the ambulance. And then you'll have a clean shot. You got a shot now. Oh, no. Take your shot. Take your shot. Oh, he's alive. She's punching at him.
Starting point is 02:04:46 Get out of my car. This is my ambulance. His ambulance now? Ran him over. Yeah, that guy definitely got ran over. My legs, again. You thought we were done with the ambulance? You thought wrong.
Starting point is 02:04:59 This movie's still going. We're in the ambulance. We're in the ambulance. This is how it has to end homeward bound they're just two guys trying to get home they should just go to their house pull into the driveway get inside and hide under the covers in bed and then just pretend like they wasn't them oh just pretend like they were asleep yeah whoa what are you doing the cops are gonna bust the mill it can't be them that money looks so fake It doesn't even look remotely real. It looks like they took just printer paper and made the money.
Starting point is 02:05:28 It's like a white paper. It doesn't look remotely real. We ran out of ink. He's stashing that cash, baby. Yeah. That's your money. Put this in my pocket. But then, love.
Starting point is 02:05:44 No, I think he just sees the good in her. What? He sees the good in her? Or vice versa? And vice versa. Yeah, what are you saying? I think she is. But he gave her all the money. I'm going to have the game in Jack.
Starting point is 02:05:58 She a gold digger. That's what Gracie's pulling from this. I didn't trust her from the beginning. I knew she was going to go, I knew it! Well, you know, if they're the good guys, she's got to be the bad guy. You've got to play the hostage takers from the start. Why do people keep shooting people and then trying to save them? That's a longer name for this movie.
Starting point is 02:06:22 I shot you, don't die. The movie? Yeah. Quick, blend in at the hospital. Drive through the front door. It's the green one. If you go by the side gate, there's a dumpster. You can drive up and you can jump over the gate entrance to the airport.
Starting point is 02:06:45 And then you can take the jet in the back. Yep Think about it You get three stars for going in the airport I think but I think they're already up to five at this point right so it doesn't Matter yeah, the helicopters already coming after you. I I don't think so. I haven't seen a tank yet, so they got it for ya No tanks. They don't arrest you now. They're not even tanks though. They're like they're like realistic like APC's Give me an army tank. Scott in the chest says do you think they see the ambulance? Which one is it? Why is it green? I will not get over that. I know it makes no sense
Starting point is 02:07:20 And even what really makes us is Jakehaal still had him do it. Yeah. You would have been like, oh, forget it. It's green. Fine. You fucked it up. Don't do it. He's like, well, just cover it up. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 02:07:39 Didn't see me here, did you? He can hide there again. Yeah, hide by the door again yeah clear there's no one in there he's in the hospital he's in the hospital she keep anyone alive for 20 minutes he learned how to use the Atari that's a weird water bottle. I'm so thirsty. What's happening? I mean, at this point, they can't go anywhere. No, they're fucked.
Starting point is 02:08:16 Like, don't worry about killing them now. Fanciful Dave says, paint yourself green. Oh, shit. Just walk out. Maybe they still got the spray can in there. I can talk him down. What have you also done this whole movie? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:08:29 Nothing. You know him. Nothing. You've done nothing. No one did anything. Danny, you shot in there? Danny's fine. It's Will.
Starting point is 02:08:40 He doesn't know. How does he know? What? That's a gun. What is this? That's a gun. What is this? That's a gun. Idiot. Dude.
Starting point is 02:08:49 This is a clock. From him. Are you insane right now? What is happening? What? Ooh. Uh-oh. Eric and Larry.
Starting point is 02:09:15 I feel like we need a disclaimer. He didn't actually grab Larry. If you're our first member watching this, I did not grab Larry by the throat. No, but he was very short. It was like a figure. He was very short. It was like a figure. He was very short. He was very short about picking up his grandparents and not having a hotel room he thought he had.
Starting point is 02:09:33 It's an hour drive from the airport. Larry had nothing to do with the hotel. Larry was caught in there. Larry was the dog in the car earlier. Eric's dad was driving. Absolutely. He's just a guy trying to go home. Yeah, you can tell.
Starting point is 02:09:56 He's just trying to go home. I just want to see all my cars again. I just want to see all my cars. One last time. Mike Gehrig! I just want to see, oh my god. One last time. Where's my Gearing? Shouldn't you be helping your brother? This is not even satisfying. What do you mean?
Starting point is 02:10:18 It's so satisfying. Like whatever happened. It's going to happen and you're going to go, I was wrong. That was awesome. Do they all get to avoid jail time? Why don't you wait three minutes and find out? No, I'm going to happen and you're going to go, I was wrong. That was awesome. Do they all get to avoid jail time? Why don't you wait three minutes and find out? No, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Okay. Now's the time to get out.
Starting point is 02:10:31 Gavin Stiles. I mean, you're watching this part and you're going, I got to get up and piss. You haven't done anything. You've done nothing. You've done nothing here today, sir. He flew in a helicopter. He did. Shoot.
Starting point is 02:11:03 Kill him! Kill him! He shot a cop. Also, even if he didn't shoot a cop, he ate it in a massive bank robbery in downtown LA. And then he shot a cop, and then the whole movie took place.
Starting point is 02:11:25 He shot that bird. And then the whole movie took place No He shot that bird oh wow I thought it was gonna end there that would have been So much better if it just goes to like we go guys Their dad's gonna be pissed. I think he's dead. I'm a hero. I'm a hero. You're off the hook. He was already down though.
Starting point is 02:11:55 They threw him out of the ambulance. He's been shot. But also he was already laying down. Yep. Cuffer. And now they just have to look at each other. How did we get here? How did we get in this mess?
Starting point is 02:12:17 We could have been drinking Keurigs. Just a couple of brothers. Could have been having... They got hot cocoa versions. They got a little Swiss Miss pod. The hot chocolate. They got tea. I just bought a box of tea. You don't have to have coffee. I got breakfast tea. I need to save them. I'm the most important person here. It's my time now. He's like a brother to me. This guy just keeps getting adopted. He keeps getting adopted.
Starting point is 02:12:48 Oh, he just lost a brother, so... Nah, he's still there, see? Oh, whoa. That's what Taylor Swift should've done. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just like that! Dude, foreshadowing. Now you got bad blood. You've got that.
Starting point is 02:13:04 He shot him in the back though. It's a cruel summer. He was the getaway driver. He should have known. Oh, is he going to be a sheriff now? Yeah, he's going gonna be a sheriff now. I like that there Yeah, he's gonna be a sheriff now Nick. They're playing dress-up cowboys and robbers in what looked like I get the LA River Suns yeah, there's water everywhere. Yeah That's how we knew what a nice so dramatic No, I killed you
Starting point is 02:13:40 Dramatic. No, I killed you. Wait, I don't understand why he shot his brother. Because he didn't want him to kill the lady. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God, she's here. For the melodrama.
Starting point is 02:13:53 It's because they're in love. She didn't know anything, any of this was going on. Crazy ain't saying she's a gold digger. And also, he's fine. Oh, the cop is alive. Yay. There's money everywhere. Ain't no way people would be grabbing that Cops
Starting point is 02:14:07 Oh yeah I've seen we run this city John Bernthal's gonna show up Yeah Big mustache Take it over Make up sleeping Make up sleeping mustache take it over he got he got one of those sleep pod mode fucking pulled
Starting point is 02:14:33 it up right asleep do not wear them when you're driving your man your husband is a literal maniac he's an absolute unhinged maniac. I'm sorry. Good driver, though. No, he's the bad guy, ma'am. Oh, boy. We're gonna... Don't worry.
Starting point is 02:14:56 Just forget him. Don't worry. If he dies, his debt dies with him. Yeah! She's a loser. Yeah, it's her debt. USA. But it's her debt.
Starting point is 02:15:04 Oh. Yeah. It's her medical. USA. But it's her debt. Oh. Yeah. It's her medical bills. USA. Thanks, Nick. See, it's her debt. That's why he's screaming, it should have been you!
Starting point is 02:15:15 Why didn't he call you for the job? Gerky said those tears looked fake? Dude, she rolled up and she went, start the clock. They're just watching this. What? We shot him. He also shot him.
Starting point is 02:15:37 We shot him twice. Yeah. We really put him in this situation. Dude, no one's helping except this woman. Every person there is complicit to let this man die. Well, yeah, it's a bunch of cops. But they're also at a hospital. Right.
Starting point is 02:15:53 Oh, yeah. Yeah, she doesn't even have to do anything besides get him inside. And she is. They're all just, here we are. We'll just do nothing. Cutting to the cops just watching is so funny. But he's the criminal. Look at the flowers, Will.
Starting point is 02:16:10 Look at the flowers. Who is the real monster here? Who is it? Ambulance. Asking the hard questions. It was the ambulance that was evil. This is the Bayhem, baby. Check it out.
Starting point is 02:16:23 Is she going to give her the money? He'll survive for at least 20 minutes. But here's a few million dollars. Yeah. Don't worry. No one's looking at us. Yep. We're paying attention to anything.
Starting point is 02:16:34 Yeah. And not being filmed. I've painted myself green. No one can see this. This is definitely not evidence. Here you go. Here. Also, she still looks so great.
Starting point is 02:16:43 Yep. Here's this large diaper bag Filled with diapers Wink Here you go Go left Don't touch her baby with your bloody hands This is your father's blood Give her the money
Starting point is 02:16:59 I was gonna take this for myself Does she know it's in there? I'll give her a couple points. Don't be selfish. I'll give her a couple points. Oh, okay. Oh, sneaky. Some baby Benjamins.
Starting point is 02:17:11 Yeah, but I'm taking the whole bag. Bundle of joy. So you can have one. And we're just going to let her leave. One money stack. Hey. Hey, look who it is. Where have you been?
Starting point is 02:17:19 Do you want to get sushi? No, I'm not okay. I'm slacking. Are you okay? Fuck no. How about a drink? I hope there's a shot where the cop who got shot in Kim. Oh, you think so?
Starting point is 02:17:38 Yeah. Otherwise, what was his whole story for? What was the point? That was it. It sucks. That was the story. Yeah. Do not enter.
Starting point is 02:17:50 Huh? Yeah. That's not my baby. Did I put that there? We're rich. She's just hanging out in the hospital with like a million dollars.
Starting point is 02:17:57 I would leave immediately. Me too. I gotta go home. Yeah. Time to put the kid down. Whoa. Yeah, time to put the kid down. Woah! Where's Kim? This is not a kid.
Starting point is 02:18:14 Not into you, dude! I just need to know her last name. I think it was Daniel. I see you, James. Wait a minute. She does have feelings feelings cause in the beginning she was like it's just a job it's just a job
Starting point is 02:18:29 she's making sure Lindsay's okay his name isn't Lindsay Grazy Lindsay's the girl the harpooned girl and the guy we needed closure on that Scott was like I'm so fucked up who cares Scott
Starting point is 02:18:43 we don't care Tiberium Cat in the same day. Tiberium Cat in the chat is just saying, Why won't it end? They're not ready yet. This is the closure you need. Nothing has happened. There's been no further details. There's so much closure happening.
Starting point is 02:18:58 They're tossing and turning, they probably have uncomfortable pillows. She has a baby and square money. Do not enter. Very cubic money. She has about a baby and square money very cubic money I don't enter about a cubic meter of think pad yeah the amount of this movie yeah who shot you well this is how you get it made yeah no you think somebody's paying for this movie? He saved me. Boom! Boom! Whoa.
Starting point is 02:19:29 Well, he was also there, so. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't undo all the crimes he did. It does, actually, Jordan. That is how it works. Well, because also his brother dies, so you kind of feel bad for him now. And it's like, oh, he's got a baby? Yeah. All right, he's fine. All is forgiven.
Starting point is 02:19:44 Here's a million dollars, kid. Lindsay lives! Wow. Wow. Wow. All she had was a broken leg. Turns out, wasn't that big of a deal at all. Six stitches.
Starting point is 02:20:02 Clean break. Missed all her vital organs. But, what if she just sat down and just went I'm setting you free I've started a new mission now I'm an angel of mercy she like has wings come out and then the end
Starting point is 02:20:17 don't let go Mountain Swede says you can shoot someone as long as you save their life then it's fine yeah I won't that's what I'm taking from save their life Then it's fine I won't She goes don't let go
Starting point is 02:20:28 Meanwhile her parents are like who are you Who the fuck are you Why are you in here Also she let go she's outside now Well the kid died I had to ask her to leave Damn All in a day's work
Starting point is 02:20:43 She blended in with the ambulance. It's a good jacket. Now she's on the night shift. Is it over? Yeah! We did it! Jesus Christ. We finally did it!
Starting point is 02:20:58 That sucked! What a rollercoaster. No! No, it was everything that we thought it would be and more. And so much more. We just... It was definitely more. We just wanted to see it with Jordan. Yeah, and that guy over there At the time Gracie wasn't even alive. No. Yeah, there's no just a gleam in our eye. Yep Now we have Gracie here and all the other jammers. I got suckered into watching. Wow. We tricked you successfully
Starting point is 02:21:24 I'd say there goes your Friday night, but you weren't doing anything. Yeah, yeah, you were fine. Plus you got plenty of time. I was doing nothing dude. Doing nothing. Thank you first members for signing up. Gracie you want to put a pause on that for just a second? No Gracie, keep doing it. Keep doing it man. Keep fiddling that straw. That's on me. Thank you so much, First members, for watching with us. That was a lot of fun. Thank you and
Starting point is 02:21:53 sorry. Oh, you could see us the whole time down there? Are you just now seeing that? You could see us the whole time big. There are multiple cameras. They got that one. We got that one. There was a whole suite. I see.
Starting point is 02:22:07 Thank you guys for watching. If you're a first member, obviously you already know about all of the stuff we put up at facejampod.com. So please continue to check that out. Let us know. Check out our 35-minute video. We recorded a spit and silly today that is shorter than the video we just put up where I am betrayed for a second time. You're not betrayed. You're not betrayed.
Starting point is 02:22:27 I don't work for you. I can't betray you. It's rogue. We went rogue. They just went rogue. You give me guidelines and I ignored them. I'm going rogue. Cool.
Starting point is 02:22:37 Thank you guys for this. We know that maybe having to rent a movie to watch this also is like the weirdest thing. Here's the thing though, you're this far in now, so next time it's gotta be easier. Yes, it's gotta be so much easier. We'll have some more stuff probably after the new year and everything, some more events, some more
Starting point is 02:22:57 streaming things or whatever, probably a lot more videos. I think we have a lot of ideas that we're kind of kicking around for next year. Joey Spesh says totally worth $3.79. I agree. And now Stab owns this. Oh, congrats, Stab. With the Jambulance. The only
Starting point is 02:23:14 Jambulance cover in existence. I had a really good idea that y'all should sign it and give it away to a fan. Whoa! So that stabs out even more money. Oh, no! The movie cost $17. $17. You should have bought it digitally.
Starting point is 02:23:27 It reminds me of when Brett Favre was on the cover of Madden and he retired. And then he came back as a jet. But he was in the Packers thing. So they put a little slip in the new Madden game where it's the same photo, but he's in the jet suit. That's awesome. So you could just buy Ambulance and then print out your own little slip of Jambulance and slide it in there.
Starting point is 02:23:51 Well, maybe we'll do a raffle of something for this for people who tuned in. I can't believe we had triple digits. That was crazy. Eric will follow up, I'm sure. We got stabbed. Guys, that was some true bayhem. Any parting words? Stop true bayhem any parting words
Starting point is 02:24:05 stop saying bayhem it's when it says it on the back yeah but you said it twice like an hour and a half in and it was fine then you said it
Starting point is 02:24:10 like three more times that guy just said it to variety so that he could pull the quote that's what I'm saying Michael Bay said it's full of bayhem
Starting point is 02:24:18 and they said it's full of bayhem variety guys of course facejampod.com you're already a first member thank you so much. Anything you want to say to the folks watching here?
Starting point is 02:24:29 No? You guys are the true jammers for going through this. Oh, God, yeah. A hundred percent. That's true. Don't make it sound like it was great for them, though, Jordan. You're making it sound like it was a chore. I mean, it was a bit of a chore to get in this room.
Starting point is 02:24:43 It's definitely a chore to figure this out. Is this a whole hot dog or are these tots? Buying the movie and stuff, you guys have gone above and beyond. True jammers indeed. But thank you guys. We'll let you know when we're doing something again and we'll see you next time.
Starting point is 02:24:58 Gracie, say bye.

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