100% Eat - jambuLAnce
Episode Date: January 26, 2024We watched ambuLAnce (jambuLAnce) with FIRST members on discord and now after a long wait, we're putting it out for you. Throw in the blu ray or rent it, we’ll have the time code so you can watchalo...ng. The only thing you need is the power of brotherhood and a fresh cup from your keurig. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Happy tastes good.
Dun, dun, dun.
No.
Stop it.
You told Nick not to do that.
You told him to not do that.
Discord event of the millennia.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.
Thanks for fading it out, Eric.
Jordan, we've also got Eric producing
We've got Nick the sauce monkey hidden away off camera. No one wants to see him
He's doing some audio stuff and then we have everyone's favorite cast member for now. I heard you honored race
Car where's off? Okay, the shine will fade. So here's what's going on.
Here's what's going on.
We've been talking about watching Ambulance for...
Since the movie came out.
Dude.
Literally.
The movie is like two years old.
I've seen it.
I don't want to exaggerate.
Michael's seen it.
I saw it because you saw it.
And you said, you got to watch this movie.
I love this movie.
And I feel like you didn't tell all your friends.
I feel like you told me specifically. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to watch this movie. I love this movie. And I feel like you didn't tell all your friends. I feel like you told me specifically, you gotta watch this movie.
I saw it.
We've been excited about it ever since.
Jordan's avoided watching it, which is very easy because I don't think he doesn't want to watch it.
Yeah, Eric was one of the people Eric told about this movie.
And I was like, cool, man.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Diseased God in the chat says, I saw it because of Eric.
So that's great. So here's the thing. I saw it because of Eric so that's great
so here's the thing
I wanted to get together
now we're watching
Jambulance
very cool
and we have a bunch of food
that Gracie got for us
and then Gracie
was going to get us
soft pretzels
and it turned into
a $70 order
at Sonic Burger
thank you Gracie
I already ate my pretzel
why'd you just call it
Sonic Burger
he does that
you see how young
and new she is
yeah
because you would think you would think I'm talking about the hedgehog,
and I'm simply not.
I'm simply talking about Sonic.
Well, now Grace is going to say, there's a hedgehog?
Yeah.
That's what that is.
So we got a bunch of food from there.
We also have our Keurig set up in the corner.
Our Keurig, which is a great coffee
machine that will be featured in
this film for some reason
some sort of
some sort of flex it's a flex
yeah about I think he's rich
yes so are we right
absolutely that's a rental
this is Michael Bay's ambulance
from 2021 and this action thriller directed
by Michael Bay veteran Will Sharp desperate, and this action thriller directed by Michael Bay,
veteran Will Sharp, desperate for money,
turns to his adoptive brother Danny for help.
He adopted his brother? A career criminal, Danny instead offers him a huge score.
But when this heist goes awry,
the desperate brothers hijack an ambulance
with a wounded cop and EMT on board.
Will and Danny must evade
the citywide law enforcement
response, keep the hostages alive,
and somehow try not to kill each
other, all while executing the most
insane escape LA
has ever seen. And LA has seen
some escapes. Have you seen an escape from LA?
Jordan, I'm going to jump in here. When you say
now I feel like I've seen the movie, don't
worry. That just describes the first 25 minutes. I was going to say, before this, I'm gonna jump in here when you say, well, now I feel like I've seen the movie. Don't worry, that just describes the first 25 minutes.
I was gonna say, before this, I knew two things.
I knew the Keurig, and I knew the text
about a massive robbery in DTLA.
DTLA, it's going down now.
What is this movie rated?
Oh!
This movie is rated R.
Oh!
So!
Suck that beer down, you little monster.
Yum, yum.
Hey, he's talking to you.
He put on his mask so he could walk over here and fix the camera.
Here's a content disclaimer.
You might see Nick.
Hey, this movie is rated R.
I know that the server is 16 and up, but this movie does have some strong language.
Some of it racially charged.
There's also graphic violence, intense imagery.
Some people are shot and injured.
If any of that doesn't sound good to you, now is the time to not watch.
However, if you want to just hang out, you can listen to us.
Yeah, you're controlling your own movie.
You are controlling your own movie.
What's going to happen is we'll have a timer on the bottom of the screen.
It's counting up.
It counts. This timer counts up not down not me other one not me i don't set the timer sorry yes we
we love our production crew here and it's so much fun when something like that happens where he goes yeah it's here's the timer why is it counting down i don't know
so we will count down three two one and then now don't mike mike in the chat is get very
defamatory pictures of me eating a pretzel and it's disgusting whoa yeah come on where'd he get
that come on yeah yeah fertile okay that well explains, I wouldn't have leaned over if you said Mike Purtle.
He's in the building.
We'll count down three, two, one, now, and then that's when the movie will start, the
timer will start, you'll start your movie, and then we'll be watching Ambulance together.
If it's too loud, that's on you.
Yeah.
Turn your TV down.
Turn, so put us on your TV and put this on your phone.
Put the movie on your phone.
Put the movie on your phone and put us on your 65-inch television.
It's how Michael Bay wants you to watch it.
You can see how we see it.
Did we get Sonic because they go to a Sonic movie?
No.
Gracie wanted pretzels.
Gracie wanted pretzels.
Did you go inside to get the pretzels?
Yeah.
I cooked it.
Why it took me so long?
You smiled like you were Jordan's little sister and you had braces.
Like, we got Eric, right?
We got him.
You were so excited to say you went inside.
This is my line, right?
That's awesome.
Guys, let's do it like Ricky says.
It's a two-screen monitor situation, so let's fucking do this thing. You guys, what?
Thank first members.
Oh, okay.
Thank you first members.
Who it's, which is you.
The only people watching this.
Thank you.
Thank you for supporting us, but more importantly, supporting Ambulance and for supporting Jake Gyllenhaal.
And I hope you thought he was a pretty good prince in Prince of Persia.
Hey, if you're here, the amount of hoops that you jump through to get to this is staggering to me.
And thank you so much for hanging out and doing this.
We're really, really thrilled to be watching this.
Yeah, we're like the Fazoli's employees who work in the warehouse in the back corner.
You got to go down a dirt road to find us.
And when somebody shows up, you go, you found us.
It's a hell of a hang.
Yep.
True jammers in this one.
Guys, so let's do it.
Is production ready if I count this thing down?
Yeah?
All right, here we go.
We're going to start ambulance.
Three, two, one, now.
Didn't start for us.
There it goes.
It was in half a second.
I got worried.
This is a universal film, and it's in Denver.
In Denver.
This whole thing in Denver.
So welcome to the commentary track I'm Michael Bay
I said this to Eric just shut the fuck up
a year ago probably because
you're not even in this movie I'm realizing
as you pointed out it's two years old
we've been talking about it for so long I said to Eric
at some point months or a year ago I was like
what if we
we've only seen it one time what if we watch it and it's just not that good?
And he was like, shit, I don't know, man.
I just don't believe it. And we just got it wrong.
I know Eric has seen this movie at least twice.
You saw it again, right? No, I saw it once.
Alright, this explains everything. We need to pay attention right here. This is...
Okay, is this the backstory? Yes.
This is how their brothers... This is where he adopts his brother.
Yeah.
Yep.
Was he just working on the Empire State Building?
What are those toolboxes? I don't know, dude.
Gotta pay the bills somehow.
I don't know.
He's going to his construction job in the 30s, yeah?
Yeah.
This is the now times.
Dude.
This is what it is to hang out and be a kid in Los Angeles?
Dude, that's all you needed to do. Set be a kid in Los Angeles? Dude, that's
all you needed to do. Set up. Established. Let's move on. They set that whole thing
up in less than a minute. Their brothers get it. So this is LA. That's really it, huh?
That's, yeah. No, yeah, that was the beginning of the movie. You saw it. What more do you need to know?
Now you get it, idiot! These two, they know each other. Yep. Oh, ever since we drove
that truck.
Yep.
Yeah.
Or pretend.
I mean, I don't know how the relationship is right now.
Oh, no, he's on hold.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Nick, turn this movie up.
Volume, please.
He read a book about Afghanistan.
Mm-hmm.
Bills.
This is how I do all my bills.
Pills.
They come in the middle.
Bills.
Pills.
What's next?
Chills.
Will.
Will.
Can't believe they set that up.
If you join now and you're screaming at what you're looking at on your screen,
we're two minutes and 17 seconds in.
That baby was confused.
This guy's a great actor. I remember when this movie, when I was watching it in theaters,
I was going, is he using a house phone?
What year is it?
It's 2021.
Like, why would he?
I don't even know.
Maybe the Keurig is new.
They just wanted to shoot it that way, but I'm like, but really,
no one has a phone.
No one has a phone.
I have not seen a house phone in God knows how long.
So what surgery does his wife need?
Important.
So what surgery does his wife need?
Important.
I can really feel his emotion about how frustrated he is.
You can tell by the way he's maddened.
No, that's what I'm saying. Oh, and then they hung up on him.
Fucked up, Jordan.
Oh, and he made the baby cry?
Oh, the baby's crying.
Well, yeah, you were screaming in the other room.
Don't hang up on me.
We're also drinking Cayman Jack margaritas.
Yeah, I recommended it.
Nick's having a great time.
What did he say over there?
I don't know if it started with a word or not. I just had them last week for the first time.
They have Moscow Mules and they have margaritas.
They're very good.
It delights me to drink out of this nice little glass bottle.
It's cooler than a can. It's cooler than a bottle.
This is how...
Pick one up, Gracie. Hold it.
Last time I had one, I ended up maybe projectile, but you don't
Just from holding it
She's allergic to small glass
That's you the movies right there, and it's in here. Did you unplug something?
I don't think so Gracie lost sound I think is what you're trying to say. She said, where'd the movie
go in a very Nick-like manner?
Oh, Gracie fixed it.
Wait, he's on the phone again.
Oh, yeah. He's on his way.
Is he going to DTLA?
Not yet. He's driving his convertible
truck. Wow.
It's called a Jeep.
Got him.
Some kind of paramedic lady.
There she is.
Her beautiful eyebrows.
Why is it shot like this?
What do you mean?
Because it's drones.
Because Michael Bay found out what drones are.
If you guys aren't aware of this movie,
this is the film where Michael Bay found out about drones
and then hired the best drone racers in the drone racing league
to just shoot stuff.
There's a lot of
drone shots.
And none of them necessary.
I'm not exaggerating when I tell you
he flies up and down buildings all the time.
Yes, rules.
This fucking guy.
I forgot about this guy.
Is he going to be the best character?
Did we just meet our favorite character? You'll see. I forgot about this guy. Is he going to be the best character? Did we just meet our favorite character?
Oh, yeah.
You'll see.
I have some other favorites.
Jordan, you can call it what it is, the hunk.
Yep.
Now, how do you think this already ranks, though, with the Madam Web trailer?
Oh, wow.
Well, I know what's going on so far.
Stay calm.
Yeah.
She's a better EMT than she is yeah okay okay okay oh no how did this happen I think she's a
paramedic cuz give her some credit okay no no I didn't that wasn't my I think I know what hurts.
Oh my god.
Well, don't look at it and it'll go away probably.
probably yes I think he is like a new guy gnarly I haven't heard that since Scott oh now I know his name.
I think that someone said Scott at some point. I'm guessing that's him.
His name is Scott or
Couric.
Oh my god.
That's how they gotta get it?
That guy is...
Yeah, it's really an unnecessarily
horrific scene to start with.
You could just be like, there's an accident.
And it's-
We don't have the building!
Ah!
We got a jumper!
Just kidding, it's a camera.
That was that shot.
With someone falling to their doom.
It really was like I was on a roller coaster.
Oh, it's so cool.
And then it cut away so fast.
It did.
Like, what was the purpose of the shot?
It didn't even connect the shot.
No, it did not.
We just need a shot here.
Metallicat in the chat just says,
There it is! The ambulance!
Oh man.
I'm driving!
I can't wait for the title drop.
Oh it already said LA.
Oh, damn it.
They have to say ambulance.
The music is so undercutting of anything.
I want you to know that it almost never stops.
Okay.
This movie is edited fucking crazy.
I don't know why it's like this.
Well, he seemed excited planning this for two years,
but now he seems mad that we're watching it.
Oh, my God.
I'm so excited to be watching this.
Yeah!
What?
Enchiladas!
What the fuck?
Nick's pissed.
I'm telling you, it's like a truck.
Don't throw up enchiladas.
Some sort of open-air truck.
That's pretty funny. All right here comes here comes
Right now there's a pretty good flex right yeah
Mm-hmm All right guys get your Keurigs ready a lot of cars a lot of cars real nice-looking cars old-looking cars
A lot of cars.
A lot of cars. Real nice looking cars.
Old looking cars.
We could be at Jay Leno's house for all I know.
He probably used his garage for this shot.
Watching Nick get ready to come over to get more food.
Oh shit.
Oh here he is.
Oh.
to get more food.
Oh, shit.
Oh, here he is.
That line was too long for his intro line.
Does Jake Gyllenhaal need money or something?
I don't know if he was talking to me.
I don't know what Nick was saying.
Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
Look at this- look at this guy, this snake. An animal.
How dare he?
You believe he- he left his fucking- thanks, man.
I appreciate that.
You got- Nick just got chili and cheese all over me.
That's awesome.
He was serving himself-
No, no, no, that's- that's great.
He was serving himself-
He didn't know until he, like-
On a- on a plate. Anyway, here it is! Over you. Keurig! Serving himself serving himself. He didn't know
You Keurig
Derek
Blurred
He he not only spilled chili on you, I made us miss the car
We did uh-huh he's already getting it now. Yeah, He's starting to put it together. Two years down the drain.
But at least he got his hot dog.
Why was he making it over your lap?
I don't know.
And a plate, not using a plate.
He's leaving.
Not using a plate that he had.
In his hand.
So why is his brother rich and
Life of crime buddy
He's a criminal
Jordan you have to watch
Massive bank robbery
Who knows who it was
I thought it was a stranger
There's no other text messages
The images that are being dropped in the chat are so good.
Like, you guys have to tweet those to us.
Those are fucking awesome.
These are really funny.
Is it more Eric eating pretzels?
No, it's...
Is it a picture of Nick spilling chili on you?
It's the fucking Rooster Teeth mascot walking in.
Oh, yeah.
That's awesome.
That was quick.
A.K.A. Neil.
Yeah.
Oh, look.
He's come back in shame.
What a nice friend.
He handed him.
Is it wet, I assume, at least?
It's a wet paper towel, and he said, dab?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Wow.
What a nice thing you did for him.
Why did he pull out some baby shoes out of his dad's booties?
Yeah.
Look at these. Look at these pictures. Oh, the memories. Boston Red Sox. Why did he pull out some baby shoes out of his dad's booties? Yeah.
Look at these.
Oh, the memories.
Boston Red Sox, everyone's favorite team in L.A.
And my favorite Los Angeles franchise.
Fly to LaGuardia, go to Boston.
Oh, my God.
Might have been Chicago. I can't. It Might have been Chicago. Chicago.
It might have been Chicago.
I don't know what I'm thinking about it.
Flying.
Get some pizza.
So, one thing that I'm noticing, just by barely paying attention, but the pacing has not changed at all.
And there has been action, and now there has been dialogue and exposition.
But it has not sped up or slowed down.
Yeah, they never stopped one and then started another.
And that same droning music has been going throughout.
Yep.
We got two hours left.
Oh, yeah, you know it.
Oh, that's crazy.
He does not.
At all.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
He doesn't look anything like him.
This is what Michael Bay thinks is funny.
I remember talking to Eric being like, Jake Gyllenhaal must have been pissed he had to say that.
He's probably like, he does not look like Mel Gibson at all.
Why am I saying that?
They wrote that in the script and they cast someone totally different.
Yeah.
I'm just like, I can't believe he had to say it and it's in the film.
It's just some guy with a beard
Just like Mel Gibson!
Which Mel Gibson did not have in Braveheart
No!
Oh yeah!
That's also true
And he had long hair
Yep
He looks like someone from Rugrats
Who does he look like from Rugrats?
I'll find it
Chucky
He was very specific
Chucky
Reptar
That was specific, I'd like to know
Uh huh
It's probably one of the adults that show up in one episode.
Definitely an adult.
Yeah, it's ours.
His name is Nigel Thornberry.
That's the wild Thornberry.
Yeah, that's not from Rugrats.
Although they did do a Rugrats crossover.
They did.
That's what I'm thinking of.
That must be it.
That's how Gracie knows about it. He was in that Rugrats episode. Okay, well, he looks like Nigel Thrats crossover. They did. That's what I'm thinking of. That must be it. That's how Gracie knows about it.
He was in that Rugrats episode.
Okay, well, he looks like Nigel Thornberry.
Same universe.
That made me feel so fucking old.
Smashing.
What the fuck did that guy just say?
I'm like Cam. It was so crony. What the fuck did that guy just say? RUN TO MY CAR!
It was like, it was like, so dirty.
Yeah.
Why did he look at him like,
yeah, I got you. To make sure.
Hey, hey, hey, did you hear what I said?
Hey, taking another look.
Did you hear what I said?
I want a baby job, not a big job.
When I said baby job, I thought you were going to do some Rugrats night before.
You busted those shoes out.
I thought it was a baby job.
You know that. We all know that.
We all know that.
Why can't we sit still during this conversation?
This, too.
Look, the camera's running around them. It's making me dizzy.
This is Michael Bay to a T.
Gracie, we have two more hours of this, and this is all it does.
Imagine when they still do these exact same shots in the back of an ambulance, because
you're going to see it.
How do they even get a camera to do that?
Drones!
Drones buzzing around in the back of an ambulance.
Like the blocking for this is so good.
I just love this.
Hang on, everybody.
Are you mad?
Is that flea?
Okay, so I want you to remember that he came for a little bit of money alone.
Yes.
And now he's saying, come to this
job. This money's gonna be so
easy, it's gonna be ours.
It works for
both sexes.
They have five minutes
to decide if he's going to be
part of this job that he needs him for or
not. That's gonna make millions of dollars.
Dude, they cut from a shot of Jake
Gyllenhaal to a shot of Jake Gyllenhaal.
Yeah, because he's going through different
emotions. Modes.
Again,
his wife doesn't know where he went
necessarily, and he's getting
roped into this.
Not even like tomorrow.
I don't want to claim to be
an expert
editor or anything, but we're 15 minutes
in and I feel like we've seen about
5 minutes of content.
Yes.
Heineken Zero!
Whatever the Oxygen app is in Heineken Zero
right after the Keurig plug.
Money. This is how you make money, baby.
I'm looking it up right now.
I don't think the Oxygen app is probably an app anymore.
Oh.
It's a bank.
Oh my god.
Is she getting advances on her paycheck?
Yeah, dude.
She's got a
heart of stone. Not to be confused
with heart of stone with Gal Gadot.
That's not a thing you can say.
I keep anybody alive, no matter
what. For 20 minutes?
This guy's been shot in the head. Don't worry.
He'll be alive for 20 minutes. This guy broke his head. Don't worry. He'll be alive for 20 minutes
This guy broke his arm. Don't worry
Oh
No
What was that also who's going around saying that look you just gave me I'm making sure you're okay
Who's going around saying you're the best paramedic in?
Everybody know are there competitions right the exposition in this movie is simply found.
Hang on, hear that music?
Sushi!
It's back.
Kura?
Shut up.
Shut up.
Hey, new characters.
Oh, good.
Okay, I'll pay attention to these guys
The Michael Bay write this it must have Huh Sean Connery said that yeah
The Rock said it yeah, oh my god
Yeah. Oh my god.
Oh.
Okay.
Did you get the joke, Gracie?
Did you get the joke, Gracie?
Chris Fedick.
So The Rock is a movie starring Sean Connery.
It's about Alcatraz.
And then he didn't get the joke, so he thought he was talking about The Rock.
So I am that guy.
Congratulations.
Why is he talking about the rock?
Also, Gracie's drink is so blue that Gracie is now blue.
Gracie's the only one that got one of these drinks.
Yeah.
Because you fucked me up and started talking about blizzards and it distracted me.
Otherwise, I would have absolutely gotten a slush.
I asked everybody.
Also, it's totally fine if Gracie gets a drink on her own.
Here's my problem with the slushes.
The two, I want too much, and it just takes forever.
I feel like an asshole going,
can I get the cherry slush with blue raspberry, coconut, raspberry?
Then they're just like, just come inside and make it yourself.
No, they don't say that.
That's all there is to the drink.
I don't want to do it, but if you don't, you can't order it.
It must be.
So I would never ask someone to get one for me. I'd be like, get one flavor. I would have order it. It must be. So I would never ask someone to get one for me.
I'd be like, get one flavor.
I would have done it.
Next time, just double yours.
My favorites.
I'll get whatever you get.
I'm sure it'll be everything they have.
There we go, another shot.
Could have gone a little lower, I think.
Trust.
Long blonde haired guy?
That's my favorite character for a while.
Oh, okay. For a while, but not the whole movie. Your favorite character in this movie That's my favorite character for a while. Oh, okay.
For a while, but not the whole movie?
Your favorite character in this movie changes.
Eric's fickle, dude.
He's a baby.
Fickle.
I'm a fickle baby.
Whoa.
We're here.
This is just like a GTA heist.
100%.
Why is there a homeless man in the parking lot of the bank?
What?
Also, he doesn't look homeless at all.
Oh.
Yeah. He's wearing an earpiece.
He's clearly...
He's clearly security
or in on it.
Again, he just showed up
to ask for some money.
He got roped into this thing
all within 10 minutes.
Right now.
Immediately.
Literally right now.
Oh, my God.
It's like an episode of 24.
Oh, this movie is edited like that, too.
It just flies.
The screen certainly helps.
And it goes up.
Beep.
Beep.
Do.
Do.
No masks?
This, it just, it looks like what payday wishes it was.
Wait, why was the door closing?
Was somebody just coming out?
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
What?
Classic Michael Bay shit.
Who would ever do that?
Isn't this funny?
Who would ever catch an elevator door like that?
She's a different race.
That's crazy.
Oh boy.
That is Michael Bay shit.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And then a little Asian lady comes in and it's funny.
It's loud and crazy.
Now it's quiet and goofy.
Oh, okay.
Oh no, this might foil their plan.
Oh man, they can't predict what the cops are doing.
It's that homeless guy.
He's not...
He's not being covert at all.
Yeah, it's this guy!
What's that guy's name?
No idea.
It's not Darhumel?
Yeah, what's he from?
Justified?
Deadwood.
Who's that?
He's two different characters in Deadwood.
He dies and comes back.
Oh, yeah.
Because What's-His-Face loved him so much as the guy who kills Wild Bill.
Yeah, come back and be someone else.
I had to watch Deadwood twice before I knew that that was the same guy, though.
What?
Because they're two totally different characters.
Are you saying Timothy Olyphant?
No, it's not Timothy Olyphant.
I was like, because that's not him.
They're buddies.
It's the guy with the slightly lazy eye.
He was in both of those movies, those shows, isn't he?
Yes, that's why I was confused.
I was sitting there, sitting to myself, going, he's just one guy.
You watch this part here, and you totally get what happened with Taylor Swift.
You're just like... Yeah, he's wearing the guy. You watch this part here and you totally get what happened with Taylor Swift. You're just like...
Yeah, he's wearing the scarf.
Too fucking charming.
Look, with his neck all covered up.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Whoa!
He's a charming... He's kind of a charming guy.
And it actually makes sense because if he robbed it first,
that would be bad for him. Give her the scarf back.
He's got turtlenecks.
What does he need a scarf for?
That's the snake.
Wow, really empty in here.
Hello?
I haven't seen a single soul. Yep in this bank
It doesn't even know her name yet
Busted
Oh my god.
Anyway, here's 58 people.
What the fuck?
Do you hear a room full of people breathing?
Where are the other 40 tellers.
This guy.
Boy, all this is so weird anyway.
He's rampant for a detective.
Now this seems par for the course, to be honest.
God, this fucking guy.
Oh, God. What? she's like I'm being robbed and you don't even notice yes, you're not doing yourself favors to me
Peepus jebus in the chat says normally I would have skipped this so cringe
Peabas Jebus in the chat says normally I would have skipped this so cringe
You have to or else you'll be out of sync with us. Yeah, you have to watch this part Peabas Jebus
Yeah, he fucked up the name also also he wasn't looking at him he didn't need to go ha he could have just been Like that's what I was gonna say. He didn't need to do that. Ha secret
Surprise I have one too!
Really, he's just trying to make sure everybody's safe. Don't screw this up for him, idiot.
Like we always do.
Yeah.
He goes, hey, if you're in there for two minutes, make sure you smile and wave at me.
The other guys are like, oh, hey, bud.
This is me hitting and hanging out.
I just waved to him from across the bar.
You and Nick.
I'm a nice friend.
Sorry about your pants, bud.
Hi, Nick.
Me and Nick are giving each other a big wave.
I had forgotten about his pants.
Thanks for reminding me.
What I like about this movie is they do absolutely nothing to explain.
It's like they're in there and they got the money.
Yeah.
You know, like Ocean's Eleven, that's the whole movie. Right.
The robbery is the least.
How do they get in?
The least of the robberies.
Yo, we got to do it now.
And then they're doing it.
And then the bank is empty and everything
is working except some cop wanders in.
But also all the money is going in and they're about to leave.
They don't waste
any time at all explaining it. They don't
tell you what the plan is. He just says
gotta know. Yes or no. Alright, here we go.
It really is like payday. How is he
helping? They walk in. They needed him.
All of the money
is stacked on a table.
And there's a sign that says, don't take.
Honor system.
They start filling bags.
Oh, no.
He's got the face jam van.
If this were theater mode, Tyler would have edited it in,
and it would have said face jam.
Here's what you do.
You got to hold the brake and the gas at the same time
and ease off the brake, and you'll start rolling.
If the brakes start smoking, that's fine.
This son of a bitch is coming over to help me. What do I do?
This fucking cop!
Hey, what's going on? Well, it doesn't work.
That guy looks like he's in Workaholics.
Absolutely.
He looks like Erling Haaland meets the guy from Workaholics.
He looks like the only guy in this movie that's from LA.
He really does.
He's definitely from, like, La Jolla.
Oh, yeah.
Should I?
What?
Don't worry about it
How would that help
What's going on
Like they're being discreet
In the bank
Should I just run over
A cop in the streets
Like and just
I don't know
With my car
Also with my car
That won't start
Wow
Wow
Step back in front of this
No you can just
Stand right there
Can you close The hood please It's open There we go Wow. Wow. Step back in front of this. No, you can just stand right there.
Can you close the hood, please?
It's open.
There we go.
Run him over!
We've been good.
Cool looking backpacks, though.
They're cool money bags.
The drone is in the building. It's in the building!
I'm vibrating.
Dude, I hope jammers are liking this. Uh oh. It's about to kick off. Shit. Uh oh. Yeah!
Gracie don't look! Jambulance oh how'd they get there so
fast I like how you like should I have fucking run him over and then he tried Guess what? Oh, they fucked up!
Oh!
That's a terrible shot.
He sucks.
They're all bad shots.
They have backpacks and machine guns.
What are they doing?
Oh, no!
Whoa!
I thought the drone was going to land on him.
Again, it's like a movie Like something's about to fall on someone
But then you remember there's nothing
It's just a camera
It's just doing stuff
It's for no reason
He really is just shoehorning them in
I love this part because Michael Bay watched Heat
And he went, fuck, I could do that
And then didn't
And that's the best
God, this rules Oh no, it's supposed to be so easy
You're joining us late. There's only an hour and 45
so
30 minutes ago that I was at home and now he's robbing a bank. He was on the phone with someone and his bail collectors
Hey wait for me Dude these two just can't hit each other
No one has shot anyone
They're literally standing in front of each other
Shooting and not hitting each other
Oh no
That guy who was standing there
The whole time
My favorite character
The guy I could see the whole
time he didn't jump out or anything he was just really wants to run someone
and he has back to the main character the ambulance look at that guy, Chris Ponteus from Jackass.
That's what he's up to.
That didn't alert them at all.
Wait, is he asking her out?
No, he's just trying to get to know her, you know?
Oh, okay.
So he can ask her out.
Well, you know, who knows where this goes?
I think I know where this goes.
It goes to the ambulance.
We're only 30 minutes in, Jordan.
They aren't even in the ambulance. We have not even begun the ambulance. We're only 30 minutes in, Jordan. They aren't even in the ambulance.
We have not even begun to ambulance.
If this movie ended now, it would be called Bank.
And that is not what this movie is.
I think he finally got shot.
Someone got shot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh-oh.
20 minutes.
Or did he just fly backwards?
Hell yeah. That's how you do it
Yeah, that's how cops drive
This is can I do the same such a dork yeah
This guy still hasn't moved from the seat of the truck and there's no door
Teddy bear there's no door. Hey. I put the mask now. They won't know who I am
It'll protect my face. Oh
Shit
How is no one shot yet?
Oh, I didn't even know you were there.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
I don't think Erling's going to make it, guys.
Why are you taking this guy with you?
They gotta have a hostage?
Yeah, I just... That doesn't work.
Joey smashes so much wasted ammo.
Yeah.
Dude!
Oh, my God.
My favorite character.
The end!
Oh, man!
You... He was at your waist! The end! Aw man! You-
You-
He was at your wedding!
Oh!
And you were at his wedding too!
And now you're at his fucking funeral.
Oh shit.
This- we're still-
Uh huh.
We left the bank somehow,
we're in a garage and there's people here
Nightmare in the chat just said keep him alive for 20 minutes
Yep, yep, yep. Oh man. He just shot a cop
Yep. Yep.
Oh, man, he just shot a cop.
Look, I know we have guns, but we're not supposed to shoot him.
And you shot him twice.
If you shoot a cop in the stomach two times, you keep going,
you're good, you're good.
No, that's fine. This guy cares too much.
It looks how this looks.
It's what it is.
Yeah, imagine how this looks.
It looks like you shot someone.
Oh boy, I don't like the look of this one.
The thing you did?
What?
He's a Marine. He's my brother. His name is Will. He's got a lot of that. The thing you did? What? That's right. What? What the?
He's a Marine.
He's my brother.
His name is Will.
He's got a lot of debt.
You thought we didn't look like brothers?
You were wrong.
We are.
Sorry, dude.
It's 2021.
That's your problem, not mine.
The cop's just in pain and goes, you don't look like brothers?
Yeah.
And then he looks at him to be like, yeah, I said that.
He got shot so hard he flew into the plate of glass.
Braveheart, no.
Sketchers?
Airwalks?
I thought those were vans.
Yep.
Off the wall.
This movie.
Classic L.A. top shit.
He's climbing into the sewer.
He's going to come back covered in ooze.
They cut in the middle of the shot To later in the shot
We're still going
They did a jump cut on it
Here's a bike cop
Hey stop
Stop
You can't go in there
I want to
Hang on ambulance
No helping
Yeah
But I got to
Okay
For the sake of this film
We'll let you in
Ma'am I'm the ambulance Yeah, but I got to. Okay. For the sake of this film, we'll let you in.
Ma'am, I'm the ambulance.
I'm the best paramedic this city's ever seen.
Don't you know who I am?
I will say, watching this with you guys and 100 other first members is fucking awesome.
This rules.
Great shot.
Locked.
Hey, every frame of painting. On Michael Bay's refrigerator.
With a little cat butt magnet.
Yeah.
Well, you already did it once.
I'm Iron Man oh my god look at his eyes army of two he's like DeSantis oh my god they're gonna go back to back I like Jake Gyllenhaal in this movie because he can be a big cartoon like wacky guy or whatever
He doesn't have to be super serious. He's like Mr. Music
Yeah, he can just be really off the which is crazy because usually it'd be like I don't I feel like more typecaps
Person doing that and it's not most of his movies. No is yeah, he's doing yeah, he's
Like even capable more than most
Generic movies whatever, you know like again the Prince of of doing this. He does the generic movies of whatever.
You know, like, again, Prince of Persia or whatever the fuck he does.
This is bizarre.
He's kind of like this when he plays Mysterio.
Yes.
It's when he can rely on his very rehearsed charm.
Like, it's fun to watch him be wacky.
Yeah.
I'll tell you one thing.
He's nothing like his character
in The Guilty.
I think a movie only Gracie and me have seen.
That's pretty cool.
A very bad movie as well.
No one should watch it.
We're not doing The Guilty.
No, because it will be us going,
boy, still in this room, huh?
The chat is getting so excited.
They said the name of the movie.
They just asked for an ambulance.
That's clever marketing.
Somebody get me a whoosh ambulance.
Anytime you see one, that's a tie-in.
Look at that dude.
God, the drone shots roll hard.
If a movie did that now, out.
But I'm so into this.
I saw this movie with Gavin and Tim G we went
to easy tiger before I was tanked and watching this so this is definitely
Tim's favorite movie right it was all time it was let me ask you this with an ambulance. Let me ask you this does ambulance fuck
As as Tim would describe this movies pretty fuego. Oh my
Christ
What was the word that he's been using for a yee see mo?
Guys the best I
Quaggismo.
Oh, God, he's the best.
No.
I don't know.
Are you sure?
I don't know. I'm sure I don't know.
I need more drink.
Can you have one near you?
It's back there by the Keurig.
I forgot.
Pete Coomber said, I can't wait for the sequel.
Ambu Chicago ants.
It only takes place in LA
because there is no other vehicle
he could fit a city name into.
I whacked him back. That's the first
five minutes. He's gonna buy you 20.
20 alone. Start
the timer now.
I feel like she'd be way
funnier if she was cocky about that.
Where she happens upon him and is like,
all right, start the timer.
Start the fucking clock.
She cracks her knuckles.
I agree with Llamabuck.
She's just like Jack from Lost.
Classic Jack from Lost character.
Great doctor.
You're going to take care of business here
Pass me that range
Gonna ranch up these these for sure popcorn chicks
Oh
I thought that was blood. I didn't know don't worry. He's not like a synthetic. I think that was just an IV bag.
Just some fluids.
That'll get him back up and running. He's not a replicant?
Not that we know of.
I feel like, and I could be wrong,
I feel like if that ever happens to me,
I'm ducking and slamming the gas.
I would never stop.
That's a cool idea.
Never stop.
No, never.
Even if they shoot at you.
Now, maybe they're not smart enough.
Even if they shoot at you,
they will get run over.
Yeah.
You can't do both.
And that's what that guy said earlier
he was going to do.
And he did,
but to your favorite character.
I'm just going to burn.
What did you do to my leg?
40 minutes in, guys.
We are in the ambulance.
We have done it.
We've been in the ambulance,
but everyone's getting in the ambulance now.
We being Jake Gyllenhaal and his brother.
They're like, oh, we can't get rid of this guy.
We just left this cop.
He's like a cursed doll.
I thought I shot you and left you back there.
We got to stop meeting like this.
Whoa, I almost shot you by accident.
I could write this movie.
You should have.
What were you thinking not doing
it, Jordan?
How would this
be like any other day? Do you think this happens
to her often?
Oh, I thought he was being nice for a second.
He tricked me.
Uh-oh.
Hi, we're an ambulance.
Let us out.
I'll hide in this part of the ambulance
when they won't see me
you know when you open an ambulance
you never know how many people are in there
could be 5, could be 50
it's just so big
80 people surrounding it
well this is the end of the movie
check inside
that's where they are
but really fast
and just kind of like from one angle.
What will they do?
Nick's on the edge of his seat.
Who is it?
What's going on back there?
He's now in the ambulance.
What?
And he doesn't see Jake Gyllenhaal.
Impossible.
He's like in another room.
He's just right there.
He's not on camera.
You can't see him.
Precisely.
Precisely.
If this were real, he would be right there.
He would be 40% of that room.
Hang on.
I'm going to hide from the stream.
Where'd he go?
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Where is he?
I'll fucking kill you.
It's more like, I'm going to be honest, it's like you saying you're gonna hide from us,
and you just walk over there.
And so you can't see you on the camera, but it's the audience going,
I can't see Eric, so they can't see him either.
I get it.
And it's you standing right there going, hi.
That's what would've happened.
He didn't even go in the front, cause he couldn't!
He's just like, what if I crouch near the side door?
Does that work?
You could see in his single here, you can see the metal wall in the corner.
And then in the wide shot, the police officer looking for him was in front of that wall.
But they just removed Jake Gyllenhaal.
It's just not large.
Oh, man.
Found it.
Get the tracker out of here.
Whoa.
No, that's the thing that makes all the lights green.
You need that.
That's the thing so Geico can check you to make sure that you're speeding.
He said it. He said it.
He said it again.
It's got a big red cross on the sign.
Sometimes they're blue, guys.
Sometimes they're blue.
Sometimes they're green. If you're looking at it in the mirror, it will read correctly. Don they're blue, guys. Sometimes they're blue. Sometimes they're green.
Don't be ambulance elitists.
If you're looking at it in the mirror, it will read correctly.
Don't be elitists.
Sometimes they're different colors for different cities.
Fanciful Dave just saying, it wasn't gnarly.
Oh, man.
This is one grody day.
Bogus.
Honestly, I kind of like him.
Why are you talking to her?
I'm going to flirt with her for just a little bit.
Maybe he's not a bad guy.
Everybody has different day jobs.
People, sometimes,
they're different political affiliations
and they make it work.
This could be a scenario like that.
Maybe that cop got shot by accident.
Yeah, go USC!
Oh, no.
Fuck him.
Yeah, go camo pants.
This guy...
Now, I could be remembering the movie wrong.
This guy's character kind of confuses me
because they don't even do it right.
Right?
He's kind of like the expert guy.
Yeah.
Like, you can tell because he's just wearing a football shirt.
Right.
That's how you know he's so high up.
He just came from the Trojans game.
He just came, but he's in charge.
And it's like, oh, this is the badass tracker guy, whatever.
And everything he does doesn't work.
But, like, don't act like that.
I think it might be a Ratatouille situation where the dog is the dog I just got here like usually these
characters they get him a little bit yeah whoa this is good he's an actual
adversary like they go back and forth and I feel like that never happens in
this film like what's going on with this guy I agree what's going on with his neck vein? I agree. What's going on with his neck vein?
It's like bulging.
Yeah, he's having a good time.
I learned just don't drink water.
Oh, okay.
That's what Hugh Jackman did.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to dehydrate.
You dehydrate.
You dehydrate.
And then I'm starting with these Cayman Jacks.
And then right before we film my scene where I bust out of the pod yeah we filled
with adamantium I'm gonna eat a bunch of carbs nice because it'll fill my muscles that's what
I learned and then you'll pass out yeah but but you got the shot got the shot you got the shot
oh this movie's still going dude what's up, dog?
Yeah, these are awesome you should definitely send these
Said look at this bye go on tweet these
FH GM pod these Eric only shows us pictures. He can't he says it's more fun if it's snapchat style
We all saw it now, So I never get to keep them
He said I used to look different
Is the cop still alive?
Yeah fuck it
For 20 minutes
It's fine you just live forever in that situation
Oh there he is
Hasn't been 20 minutes yet
He's fine dude it's getting close though
What if she was like, I'm hungry?
Ooh, I am hungry.
Jake Gyllenhaal is wearing a tailored... Hang on.
He said, ooh, I am hungry, and he's getting up again.
How is he hungry again?
Can we just push the food to the
corner of the table?
Put a napkin on. Put a hazmat suit on.
Here we go.
Ooh, I am hungry. You reminded me.
I'm alive and feeling things.
Yeah, food exists.
He's not hungry, he's just bored.
You can have the rest of those.
Get away from me.
I watched it and I heard it, and it sounded fake.
Oh!
Boom, she got away.
Oh my gosh, she left the patient.
She left the ambulance. Yeah, she got away. She left the patient. She left the ambulance.
That guy is just dead.
Oh, come on.
Come back here.
I told you my name.
He has a gun, so she has to do.
Hey, he doesn't like doing this.
Oh, that guy I shot.
Hey, wake up, idiot. Stop- dying from bullets I put in you!
Wake up!
She can't resist the rage.
The way she- She can't resist, Jake!
She's too- No, she's too proud. She has to save him.
The way it-
No!
The way it's shot when she turns around is like all of Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret commercials.
It's like that low, sort of like, up shot. She's turning one way and the camera's going the other way.
It just started beeping.
Dude, you're not a paramedic.
Yeah, I'm doing CPR.
It's a tailored turtleneck.
Where I'll kill him.
Wouldn't it be better for everyone if he didn't make it?
Probably.
Shouldn't you just shoot them both and leave the ambulance now?
No, because then the cop is dead.
Because if he doesn't die, you'll get off?
Yeah, right?
He'll say no.
He'll get off, all right.
It's a big misunderstanding.
He shot me.
Yeah, he sucked the bullets right out of my gun.
You should have seen it.
Velvete Goth says he's winning best dressed at the bank heist.
Well, he was playing the manager, guys.
Didn't you remember the plan they never told us?
Uh-huh, yeah.
The movie just started, and then we were there?
Literally.
Nothing.
Nothing!
Dark Knight was more of a setup.
We're doing this.
You got the bomb guy.
You got the zip lines.
They're coming in.
That was a cold open, this is happening, and it made total sense.
I like football!
Do you think this guy
wishes he was Timothy Olyphant?
He wishes he was Josh Duhamel and Timothy Olyphant.
Oh, finally, that dog is out of the tiny car.
Sometimes I really like Josh Duhamel. Sometimes I go,
what? I'm glad they're telling us
what is happening to the dog.
Because it's his dog. Again,
it's very much another, like, I'm such a
big dick. Take my dog home. I got my shitty ass slobbering dog and you got a deal with it like well this guy's good and then he delivers nothing
All right, bro
Who are these chuckle heads
What watch
What?
Watch.
Just watch.
What?
This is therapy, Jordan.
This is what it looks like.
I keep telling you you should do it.
It's helpful.
Yep.
Hang on.
Then he wouldn't be talking about his job.
You would not be telling her.
Jordan, she's not allowed to tell.
Oh.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
Guess what?
Wait a minute.
Guys?
Hey!
Oh, there it is! This is bank robbery.
Downtown LA. From a number I've never gotten a! Bank robbery. Downtown LA.
From a number I've never gotten a text from before.
Who is this? I don't know.
Dispatch.
A Michael Bay staple, which is
this.
The joke here isn't that they're gay,
but
isn't that crazy?
They are?
I thought that was that guy's kid
Robin the cradle huh the best character
Why? Because he's black?
The fuck?
What the fuck?
Dude, she doesn't have time for him.
She doesn't have time for this.
Best character.
That's right. I'm a woman.
And is that hard for you?
Also, I'm really good. And yeah, I watch F1.
Somebody in the chat
pointed out that those are Michael
Bay's real dogs.
That's awesome.
Is Michael Bay in the chat?
That really was a PA taking
the dogs home.
Let's get a RobCop in the sky.
Galloping Walrus says, also, Lewis Hamilton over Max Verstappen.
Again, this was 2021.
Max had not won his championships yet.
But he was on the rise.
Oh!
This is so good.
I love when Michael does sports.
He's just repeating stuff that he heard in passing.
No, I didn't hear that. I just assumed because of the timeline that he had now passing no i didn't hear that i just assumed
because of the timeline right now accomplish something right it's 20 2021 then he's won
three championships now clearly he was on the ascendancy kevin mccarthy and paul ryan's book
the young guns yeah they're next you're next you're on their rise and they'll never quit
there was a third guy There was a third guy.
There was a third guy.
I don't remember his name.
He wasn't speaker.
Nope.
The least amount of cars I've ever seen on the street in Los Angeles.
They really need the thermal vision, huh?
Yeah.
Dude, just in case.
Just in case the ambulance runs hot.
Someone just keeps going,
can you turn off thermal?
And he's like, I like it.
Whoa, is she hugging a robot?
Is that what that mural was?
Android love.
I like that that shot is there to be like,
makes you think, huh?
It did.
Oh shit, how'd they know we're makes you think, huh? It did. Oh, shit.
How'd they know we're the Red Ambulance?
Oh, no.
I told you we should have painted it.
So also, by the way, that was Scott, yeah?
Who said that?
Yeah.
It's his ambulance.
You didn't give him the number?
Right?
Just like, it's a Red Ambulance.
It's whatever.
This part's cool because they're just in a big
open lot for no reason and they're chasing directly behind him and he's driving on rocks
um i think that's why they're in the parking lot and also this ambulance would not be out
running these cars it weighs like 40 million pounds i heard heard it's got 15,000 pounds of reinforced metal.
Why?
Excuse me?
It's like what Batman does in a fight, but no one did that.
They just did that.
He's like, watch this.
I think I remember watching this movie and just being like,
oh my God, these people are killing themselves around me.
It doesn't make any sense.
They're just crashing
all around this ambulance.
Everyone is just...
It's like,
you know the classic 90s
stuntman spark explosion
and someone just does a front flip?
It's that with cars.
It's like,
there's the ambulance.
There's sparks behind them.
They just fucking flip the car
for no reason.
Nothing happened
and they didn't even try
to come up with something
in the script.
There's like,
I don't know what it was just
Ah it's so crazy they're crashing right at us!
They're coming right at us!
Nevermind!
AHH!
But like Jordan said if you were there it would be like there's rocks over there why would I drive into them?
That really worked out for them
Thank god! Thank god we got an hour and 20 minutes left.
Hell yeah, dude.
They're underneath the 10, Jordan.
Look at all those buses.
You can do that?
You know.
Why are there buses everywhere?
There's an hour and 20 minutes left, and you might think, like, oh, in the last hour, they
won't be in the ambulance.
But you'd be wrong.
This is the pace of the movie the whole time.
It's this. Again, action is occurring. You'd be wrong. This is the pace of the movie the whole time. Right.
It's this.
Again, action is occurring.
We have not increased the speed in which things are happening.
But sometimes he gets upset.
Yeah.
Kind of like Eric.
Like, why did she have to try to escape just to come back?
That just seems like it had to.
Stuff just occurs. It was a checkbox.
Because she blasted him with the...
Yeah.
Fire extinguisher.
Yeah, it's...
Stop it one more time.
But he's used to blasting his face with some powder.
A lot just happens.
Which guy like that?
A lot just happens, and it's around them, and it's very, very fast.
Atari?
And it never stops being like this.
An Atari game?
He's not that old.
What's confusing about Hit the Button?
Yeah.
But again, it's like,
he's a little older than us.
Why would he make that reference?
Yeah.
It's not an Atari game.
What are you talking about?
I'm sure Michael Bay wrote that.
Yes.
Why the fuck would Jake Gyllenhaal say that?
Jake Gyllenhaal probably has an Xbox One.
He's probably got a Switch.
Probably an Xbox Series X.
Whatever.
Jake Gyllenhaal is 42.
Right.
So it's like, I guess I know what an Atari is.
I wouldn't yell it.
I don't play a regular game and go, is this an Atari?
I do.
You do.
And I've wondered about it.
Are they in San Diego now?
This looks like where you used to live yes, yes it does
Beautiful neighborhood of Golden Hill. Oh yeah, yeah, you can tell from the hill
Okay again people are just dying around there. They're literally- Yeah. They're literally killing themselves like babies uncontrolled.
It's just-
They're not doing anything.
They're doing very little.
It's just the chat going,
What the fuck?!
If I were Will,
It doesn't make any sense.
I would stop the ambulance and be like,
Guys, I think we'll be okay.
Just wait. Just wait it out.
You know, LAPD needs to stop hiring lemmings.
A cliff!
Awesome.
Cool.
Awesome.
And here we are.
We're gonna crash!
No, never mind.
Totally different shot.
And now we're far away.
This is all...
You can see all of this in GTA 5.
They built... Like all of that's just like in GTA 5.
Crazy, it's been 10 years and they haven't finished it.
Shit.
Come on.
Shit.
Idiot.
Hang on, he might do that right now. His arm returns.
Guess what?
That's not how it works.
Oh, look at all those ambulances.
That's why it's called that.
Well, it's called ambulances, not ambulances.
Yeah.
Not yet.
That's a sequel.
I like how he hit home and it went to the hospital, I guess.
Well, that's where the ambulances live.
That's also not where ambulances go.
That's where they live.
There's like never a place that has more than like three.
What's going on here?
In one spot.
What?
That's like a hundred ambulances.
Yeah.
Oh.
What?
Yeah, tell me about it.
That's how I think.
The same thing, bud.
Wow.
Wow.
But also, it was such a villain setup of him going,
oh, I'm watching some ambulance chase,
assuming he knows it's you. He was like, I'm giving you shit.
And he's like, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
That's you?
One, you're surprised.
Two, you were watching that?
You're like some drug kingpin, crime lord, whatever.
It's like, oh, she looks on the news.
Every Los Angelino person does.
If it's on TV, I'm watching this.
Why would he be watching that?
Yo, should we kill this guy?
Hang on, hang on.
I'm watching the ambulance on the news. I hope the cops get this guy. They interrupted Jeopardy watching this. Why would he be watching that? Yo, should we kill this guy? Hang on, hang on. I'm watching the ambulance.
Yeah, hold on.
The police chase is on.
I hope the cops get this guy.
They interrupted Jeopardy for this.
I do that when I'm working out.
When the weights are really heavy, that's when I do it.
Ah!
Okay.
Was that an added sound effect?
Yes, it was. Did it just go whoosh?
Yep.
This is a cartoon now.
It's Castro Knucklehead.
Who is this Knucklehead?
Oh, I want to see the hello I want to see the guy on tick tock who finds what game is in the movie yes and tell me what what game that was it looked like Atletico Madrid versus
Liverpool I feel like Marshawn Lynch would be good for that character.
Yeah, hell yeah.
He was great in Bottoms.
Marshawn Lynch would be a little too...
I don't think he'd take orders this well.
This guy's a little too submissive to be a Marshawn Lynch.
All right, come on.
All right.
Do you get it?
In 2021, they're like, hey, he's popular.
Nobody watches soccer.
Dude, in America?
In America?
What are the flamingos for?
It's another thing.
Is that for the sequel?
Thank God that happened.
He could use some blood.
He's been bleeding for 40 minutes.
Two gunshot wounds.
I've been replacing his blood with fluids.
It's not working.
What are they doing?
Flying.
Yeah, he's like the robot lady's in the back, right?
She's somewhere.
She's like in a machine.
Oh, Citrix.
It's a van, but with...
It's a death trap is what it looks like.
I have the sudden urge to use Citrix for whatever
Citrix is.
I bet it's also a bank.
There's a massive bank robbery.
Maybe that's who he's on the phone with.
Workspace software.
That's in a car.
Yeah.
Imagine if they got
into a minor car accident.
Right?
It's a death trap.
Your head would smash
into 14 monitors.
Why did we need
the FBI character?
Because the movie
has an hour to 15 minutes left
and they make a point
to introduce
these characters and then have other, bigger characters.
And you're like, why?
I thought that was him.
It seems like we already have the guy.
That's this guy.
Jordan, we haven't even been introduced to all of the characters yet.
Oh, great.
That's always a good sign.
There are characters that are probably in the majority of the film that haven't been in the film yet.
Right, because we're not halfway through yet.
They're going to show up and stay.
You started mentioning the time, and the chat is having the realization that there's still an hour and 15 minutes left.
And it's just everyone going, how?
It's because this movie is paced insanely.
Me too!
It looks like that shot.
Me too.
Nick yelled me too and held up an empty bottle.
It's edited like like cased insanely
It's edited like spring breakers, but like faster
Did you ever watch MTV spring break? Yeah?
Yeah, he went oh
That party over here. Can you imagine how many people died?
Like as an adult now thinking about it and like a teenager when I watched it like that's like the coolest thing ever
Yeah, people must have just been dropping dead from the heat
right like just being drunk and dehydrated
and dead look everyone's going crazy they're 21
everyone's 17 well no because the whole
thing was like you didn't even have to be 21
it was like can't coon
so it was like
19 year olds just like
tits dicks everywhere
and people like dying and Carson
Daly's like hi let's play this video.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
I can't believe that.
I feel like if there was a documentary on that,
it would be similar to like the one.
That's such a good idea.
Similar to the one on.
No, no, no.
American Gladiators.
Oh.
They're like, we're getting fucked up.
People are doing drugs.
Like that would be that.
That had to be absolutely insane.
Yep.
They should do a documentary.
You know Carson Daly's got stories.
They have billions of hours of footage.
They filmed it all.
That's shit that you would never tell
anyone or show anyone and they aired it on MTV
and anyone could watch it.
I would be like, this is normal.
And anyone could watch it. And I would be like, this is normal.
This is like the slowest part of the movie, probably.
And...
Hang on, LAPD is expected to speak.
I like this fake CNN logo, too.
The music doesn't stop.
The camera doesn't stop.
Nothing stops.
It's trying to trick you.
It's trying to trick you into thinking something is happening.
Let me ask you this.
Maybe Face Jam is too much.
Maybe you do Spit and Silly. Can we do a Spit and Silly
where we have music play the entire episode?
That's such a good idea.
It's this music that never gets more intense.
It changes a little bit.
It just goes the whole time.
It might make what we're saying cooler.
It could, yeah.
Gracie's really talking about some soggy fry, but now
I'm like, fuck, it kind of makes sense with the
music. Ooh, fry test. Every now and then
we put in a little stinger or something.
Like a bong. Gracie,
how was your blue blue drink?
It was probably delicious. It is delicious, but
it's kind of getting to the point where it's all
You gotta add water.
You gotta add water You gotta add water
Cause that's what ice is
Or
Just so you know
Add some margarita
Your mouth is so
Your whole head is blue
You look like a fucking smurf
That's okay
I mean no one said it was bad.
I'm letting, I'm simply letting you know.
Again, I'm not, I'm not trying to go out of my way, but like, Gracie leans closer to,
if I was like, your mouth is blue, you'd be like, is it really?
And then you would try to fix it?
Gracie and my children go, is my mouth blue?
Awesome.
Let me see it.
Then they go into a mirror and they go, ahhh.
It's so blue.
It got so loud!
Yeah, what's happening? It's very loud.
It got really loud.
It's the loudest the music
has been. It's the loudest everything has been.
Where was that cop going? Why
did he just crash into the trunk?
Stop killing yourself! Why are you doing this? Why did he just crash into the truck? STOP KILLING YOURSELF!
Why are you doing this?
He was going- He cut the top of his car off!
He was driving perpendicular to the ambulance.
Also, this guy didn't give a fuck! He's like, oh, another dead guy, whatever.
Like, nine cops have killed themselves so far. He's literally doing nothing.
Yeah.
He's sitting like, LINCOLN RILEY!
They just keep smashing and crashing.
And they're not even hitting the ambulance.
No one's pit maneuvering this thing.
I feel like if you tap this thing, it would go rolling.
It's very heavy.
Where are the roadblocks?
Why are there no roadblocks?
They can't stop it.
Is this a convention center? What is he doing?
This is the second Barney Garage they're in.
This is where they have E3.
Well, not anymore, but...
Ah, because of this.
Yeah, this was it.
This is where they have Anime Expo.
Yeah.
Now, imagine this, but filled with too many people.
The dog!
Oh no!
Why does he have the dog with him?!
No!
Take the dog home!
Because he gave him the dog.
Michael Bay put his real dog in the movie and that's awesome.
He put his real dog in the line of fire.
Also, was that like bulletproof glass or something?
Yeah. Yeah.
Whose car is that?
Cop car?
Is that his car?
Yeah, cool cop car.
No, but just a regular cop car?
I don't think regular cop cars are bulletproof.
No, fuck no.
That's Batman shit.
Well, the dog's in this one.
He's shooting the glass.
And he was going,
Which tells me, bulletproof. What was that look?
Gracie, if you made a movie, would you put cinnamon in it?
Fuck yeah.
But I would never put her in the line of fire.
Right, but it's not real though.
Gracie, this is a movie.
Right, that Jake Gyllenhaal looks like-
No one actually shot at the dog.
Can someone check doesthedogdie.com?
Do we know?
Oh no, guys!, no. Guys.
Oh, no.
Red stuff's still coming out.
He needs fluids.
He is not LaDainian Tomlinson.
Oh, he retired.
All right.
MikeTV in the chat says,
knowing this got made, I feel motivated.
Motivated that I can do anything.
It's true.
Like, really.
It really is good to watch a bad movie every now and then
and be like, it's not that hard.
No.
And the thing about this movie is that
nothing in it is outright bad.
Nothing in it is like, this is fucking terrible.
It is just, it's insane.
It's just breakneck crazy.
And it's not even Michael Bay's best job at this type of movie.
No, no.
He's not doing bad boys.
Does she even know that it's her husband?
No, but she started getting inkling.
Yeah, she didn't get a phone call yet.
Yep.
And he's a good driver.
Yeah, should they have established that? Like maybe he drove like a Humvee or something? Did I miss that? phone call yet. Yep. And he's a good driver. Yeah.
Should they have established that?
Like maybe he drove like a Humvee or something.
Did I miss that?
They talk about him in Afghanistan.
Like he has like a couple of lines about it.
And being a driver.
And they didn't say it real early.
Well, it was in my first life.
And he knows about the Texas switch.
When he was doing all the bill stuff.
He had like a military.
I saw all that.
That's him.
But did he do anything?
Right.
With a car.
With a car in Afghanistan.
Because then like, you know, this this could have been a through line.
Did they mention car thing?
I don't remember.
I think he mentions driving.
I think he does say you drive good.
Uh-oh.
I do think he say you drive good.
Oh, shit.
Drive good, just like you did in the military.
She thought he was just shot in the leg.
He was shot in the legs.
Oh, maybe she's not the best paramedic.
Yeah, that's pretty dumb.
So this movie came out in 2021.
It's two years after Michael Bay released Six Underground,
which is a Netflix movie with Ryan Reynolds.
And it was pretty, like, panned as a movie that was just like,
this kind of, like, doesn't go far enough.
It's not like a Michael Bay.
Like, it doesn't feel like.
This came out last year.
This is 2022.
Oh, this is 2021, is it?
No, I'm looking at it right now.
So, this is...
Okay, that makes more sense.
So, this is his...
So, why didn't they say Max Verstappen?
Fucked up.
I think the rest of the movie tells you why.
It sucks.
And Metallic Cat's right.
Like, Six Underground was not very good.
It wasn't very good.
He made this movie outside of all of that stuff.
Kind of like a response to it.
And he just went, Oh, I didn't do enough?
I didn't do enough.
And then hired all the fucking drones and everything?
That's the best.
Well, I mean, I'll be honest.
I still don't think he's doing enough.
No.
He's just shoehorned in those drone shots and is making some cars flip over willy nilly.
Look, there's another drone shot.
Breed?
Okay, so if we trap him...
Oh, no!
Friends?
You fucking thought you knew everything, Jordan.
Come on.
Jordan, you didn't know shit.
Dude, this runs deeper than I could have ever known.
They hung out.
It's crazy.
For some reason, six people all closely tied to each other are very invested in this whole thing and what's going on.
I don't know.
What a coincidence.
In a town of three million people. they're driving all over they used to be friends guys
wow yeah you can't undo that i don't lie to me i love exposition in this movie i love it i love
that it's happening an hour and 10 minutes in.
Oh, to be a bitter criminal.
Oh, the two-way glass was two ways.
I thought you couldn't see me.
Bertie said,
that line made me laugh so hard in the theater,
I think it's my favorite.
We're friends.
I remember laughing out loud when that happened. 37. Oh, Shelby, you missed it the fbi guy is friends with jake gyllenhaal's character
what that's unbelievable right you never even fucking saw it coming they used to be yeah yeah
yeah back in college now they keep shooting through the bullet hole i love that they're
not showing the actor who plays the cop they They're showing blood. They're showing everyone else
Oh, they only needed him for a half day. Yeah, really you're in the beginning. He's done moron
Yeah, but but my characters in the ambulance for the rest of the movie. Yeah, we just won't show you
Do you remember what happens here in this scene? No
What's he doing right now they have to figure out how to help him until they get to the ambulance.
So they have to call a doctor.
Right.
Do you remember them calling a doctor?
That'll help.
Yeah.
Here's a little icing.
Again, I don't like doing this, but here.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
This guy's...
This guy is also a really good actor.
You're not in that ambulance
I was watching on TV.
But I don't want to.
I don't like pointing guns.
Anyway.
Look at this guy's house, and it's like, get it?
He's eating linguine.
He doesn't have time.
All right.
Hang on.
More doctors.
Don't talk in his backswing.
Cool.
FaceTime the whole gang in.
All right, guys.
Be prepared for the coolest part of this movie.
I'm leaning in
Not good
People behind them are pissed. Play through! Play through! I'm on the phone with the woman in the ambulance!
Oh, shit!
Oh, I was watching that on my phone!
That's crazy, sorry!
First, get them all wet.
This guy's way too dry.
Get them all wet.
Jake's driving.
Alright, time immediately crashes.
This is why you're the good driver.
You thought you were good.
Look, I'm holding
this laptop with these real images on it.
Look how real
the bottom of the computer looks.
Holding it so steadily.
It looks like a kid's toy that has a sticker on it.
His vitals aren't changing! It's like Buzz kid's toy that has a sticker on it. Yup. Like... His vitals aren't changing!
It's like Buzz Lightyear's little...
That's exactly what it looks like, dude.
And on set they're just going,
It's gonna look so good in post.
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great.
It's just green. It's a green thing she's holding.
Oh, she's talking to him.
She's holding.
Oh, she's talking to him.
He's smart.
He's so smart. You're the head of bank division.
The super real division.
And if it is real, still dumb.
Actually, bank division is quite a serious thing.
Banks get robbed every day.
I'm in the FBI in the bank division.
And most, I mean, I could be wrong here Most people don't get promoted to the FBI
They just go to the FBI
You don't get it
I'm just going back to the therapy session
With him and his friend
So he wasn't in the FBI before
Big promotion, big FBI
He implied he got promoted from a cop to an FBI guy
No, he was like a bank teller. He's FBI. Oh
That's why he's in charge of bank guys the bank guy. Oh
Gross this is like an er when they bring out the ribs
I mean, it's the same movie that should that impaled it hit at the beginning for no forgot about that
I thought that was weeks. There's more
impaled kid at the beginning for no reason. Oh, I forgot about that. I thought that was weeks ago.
No reason.
Oh, God. Okay.
Thanks for acting it out.
He's making jokes.
Oh, boy.
Cool.
This is like Saw.
They're just playing in this guy's guts.
Quick, Eric, eat a toxic waste.
It'll make you feel better.
All right, start digging around inside of him.
Is this going to be one of those we got to get the bullet out things?
I don't even know what they're doing.
The bullet is the least of his worries.
Shut the fuck up. Oh, no, the fuck up.
Oh no, the marinara.
The marinara.
Spilled.
Okay, here comes the cool part.
Here comes the cool part.
Yep.
How do you know?
It's working.
Why are they not trying to stop the ambulance?
Because he'll die.
Oh, that's right.
They know that they're doing the surgery.
Tension.
Sparks are flying.
Maybe she's not the best.
Sparks are flying.
Show me the spleen.
Show me the spleen.
Show me the spleen.
Do you guys want to see the spleen now?
Show me the spleen.
Do you guys want to see the spleen?
Oh, no.
The way Gracie is watching the'm watching your face go just so I can see if there's blood or not he's awake with of him?
Bro, you shot him.
Oh, damn. That was positive.
He really hates this guy.
I fixed it.
I fixed it, everyone.
And he's resting comfortably.
Was that the answer?
No anesthesia, just a concussion.
Yeah.
Okay, he's out.
He's going to wake up with CTE.
Bigger problem. Has the spleen already been shown?
He's not going to remember a spleen.
No, guys, we haven't seen the spleen yet.
The spleen is my favorite character.
Okay.
Tyler just walked in for the spleen.
Tyler opened the door and said,
heard there's spleen?
Yeah.
Here he comes.
Yeah. No, he's got 20 minutes. Good lord.
There it is.
It's so graphic.
Yeah, don't worry.
Can you just...
She's looking at it.
Can you just put that back in and it's fine?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how it works.
Yep.
Yeah!
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
Like a gusher, Tyler.
That's right.
That's right.
What's in the way?
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Crazy.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Cool. Cool. Like a gusher. Like a gusher, Tyler. That's right.
That's right.
What's the-
Gracie- Gracie still kinda saw it.
What's this-
Oh no, her laptop's dying!
TURN IT IN!
Oh god!
That's just like my laptop where it's like, battery low, and then it shuts off.
Right after the spleen blows up in your hands, it always dies.
Oh man.
How are you gonna get that blood back in that spleen?
What uh- What was this movie rated oh oh negative yep which
one's the good blood is it oh I think oh yeah you can use it for every well yeah
oh I mean either it as magic blood.
I mean, either it's magic or every other blood is shit blood.
I'm just saying.
That's true.
You know, in Japan, that's how, like, that's like, uh, like astrology.
They use, like, the...
Oh, really?
Yeah, like, when you, like, Street Fighter 2 had, like,
here's Ryu, he's AB positive.
And you're like,
the fuck is that?
Do you know what your blood type is?
I have no idea.
I have no idea either.
I don't know.
And I feel like I should know. Yeah, either. And I feel like I should know.
Yeah, oh, I definitely feel like I should know.
I'm pretty well versed on, like, my, like, adult stuff.
Me too.
I don't know my own blood type.
I have no idea.
Got it taken so many times.
Do I just ask?
I guess so.
By the way, when you're poking around in there, can you let me know?
Yeah.
Take a little bit extra.
You've taken six vials of blood from me.
Can I know what kind it is?
Is it good?
Can I have a taste?
Can I sell it?
Dude, I have such good blood now.
Is all the blood over?
Oh, yeah.
For this part.
Besides the next 55 minutes.
We're sub one hour.
We are under one hour.
Thank you, first members for tuning in
and watching Jambulance.
Whoa!
Yeah, he did the Walter White.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Also, you think you've seen so much of this movie, so much more happens.
Wow.
This movie's crazy.
Ah!
What?
I hate the blood in the hand thing.
We're still getting her backstory.
Are they following her?
Yeah, she has beautiful hair, and they're giving the backstory about how she's on drugs.
She looks great for everything she's been through.
And she's on hidden for a gallon with her and that surgeon.
Which is kind of crazy because, lady, he's a surgeon and you're not getting any younger!
Hello!
In this city, he's like, uh...
And... prescriptions.
Yep. True.
And there you go.
Nick wants...
Don't eat her addiction.
Okay, Nick. Prescriptions! Yeah. Nick wants... Don't anchor addiction. Okay, Nick.
She's struggling enough as it is. I think she's... I don't
remember if that's the moment, but like
she reveals like... She's a flawed person.
I'm like on speed all the time.
Awesome. Yeah, she does say that.
Everyone says I'm the best, but I feel like
the worst.
But I am the best, thanks to my performance
in Hands and Drugs. Also, every time I get
on scene, I give someone speed.
So it artificially keeps them alive for 20 minutes.
When they were cutting out that little
girl, it's because I just gave her some sweet chili.
Everyone says they feel great. I'm the best.
Oh yeah, this is the part where Jake Gyllenhaal
has just been driving and they're on the 105.
Are they ever going to run out of gas?
Is that going to become a problem?
Somebody in the chat had brought that up.
They're like, they are speeding the whole time and they're in an ambulance.
Gas is an issue.
That's the worst area.
That's like the worst area to drive.
I would just get on this freeway, go to the airport.
LAX, I love driving through there. jealous freeway go to the airport. Yeah
Lax I like the 105 to the 605 get off on Rose crane now. We're talking baby speaking my fucking language
We're selling California. I used to live baby. It's
It's all about how you get there
Mm-hmm be high boy cut the bullshit did he say
Silver Lake
I lived there for a summer
yeah I don't know why Silver Lake
liberal would be in there
I think they're all
liberals
it's Silver Lake
really ultra conservative Silver Lake liberal. I think they're all liberals. Yes. It's Silver Lake.
I'm really ultra conservative.
It's Silver Lake.
Yeah.
If they don't live in Orange County, they're liberal.
I mean, Echo Park and these are traditional values.
God, I love this fucking movie.
I feel like I'm going to watch it again just to pick up on all the other stuff. I feel like I'm never going to watch it again.
I miss.
I want more of the stupid details.
Sniper team.
Whoa, shit.
The snipers?
Uh-huh.
I also have no idea what they've been trying to do, because all I can see is they've been chasing him.
Uh-huh.
It's been one big chase.
Oh my god.
He's a sniper.'s that's very high that doesn't sound hard at all 90 80 that's barely passing hmm All right, here it comes.
I'm surprised so many people are actually yielding for the ambulance.
What?
I'm going to call him.
Yeah, I don't think he can talk right now.
Yeah, I think he's...
Yeah, he got punched out.
Did you not see what happened to his spleen?
She's been keeping this guy alive for way longer than 20 minutes.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, she's the best.
New record.
She is the best.
She's having a moment.
Why does he have the Watchmen happy face on his phone?
Who watches them?
Because he didn't understand what he read.
Because he only saw the movie.
It's also why he likes The Punisher.
Yeah, absolutely.
We didn't see it on his car, but it was there.
Hell yeah. This music. hell yeah this music i feel like it's trying to build tension but it's just not doing it i listened to the soundtrack for this movie not too long ago does it put you to sleep did you
i don't remember any of it it is noise noise. Yeah. Yeah, it is just background noise
But not in a way that's like memorable. Are they all gonna shoot it once? Hell yeah
What do they think like today did they think the cop was dead? Yeah, because the spleen exploded. Yep
He can't die. Here comes.! Oh no. Oh, sniper shot!
Oh, come on! Oh, Jesus, sniper! Come on! He pointed? He picked him out immediately?
Whoa, good duck. A lot of those shots fucking suck. Yeah. Hey.
Damn. A lot of those shots fucking suck.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hey, 90% chance of success.
Ah, they're dying around them!
Not again.
The lemmings.
They've still done nothing to cause this.
Exactly.
Here we go!
Oh, oh.
Oh my god.
I'll take my seatbelt off!
Can't believe this didn't work.
Doesn't make any sense.
They just took
that car out.
Now we're getting into the traffic section.
They did say it's rush hour. You mean the LA
section. Yep. Oh, he's back here now.
That was fast.
Dodge Ram. Yep.
I'm gonna Google that. What's that?
I think I
want one.
I want a Ram and that guy's dog.
Yeah.
Right now.
What's with that face?
He was like, look at him.
I'll kill you.
He doesn't know I'm listening to what he's saying.
I can hear you.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm a little bit cocky about this.
Yeah. We're all on the edge of our fucking scene.
What would his father have done?
No.
Make him tell you what my father would have done.
What, he would have adopted you too?
Yeah.
He's my other brother.
He adopted the whole city.
We're not just friends.
That's right.
We're three brothers.
Deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh, deesh.
And then the cop, too.
And me.
Yeah, yeah.
And then the paramedic, and I'm their sister.
Thanks, bro.
Nothing.
He's standing up.
He's looking at me like a creep.
Like a creep.
Oh, yeah.
That's what their parents told him.
Time for some snowflake commentary.
Welcome to the Bayhem.
You think just anyone can make a movie like this?
You gotta be out of your fucking mind to hire every drone leak racer.
Oh no! No mercy.
Oops, did I cause that? Did I make him do that to me?
No, the consequences of my actions!
Whoa!
Stop, bro! Stop!
No!
Classic brothers.
Stop!
It's my hot pocket!
This was me and my brother at his wedding.
I'm telling mom! That was was oddly that was you and your father
That was your father when he said you had to pick up your grandparents and they were both in wheelchairs
That's what you were doing
They said you don't have a hotel room Take that, Larry!
Yup.
Yup.
Stop choking him.
He's driving.
I remember he choked Larry like that right before we left the office.
And I kept going, it's fine. He's just mad, he's upset His brother's getting married
He can't go to the beach
Eric had
That beach trip was awesome
Eric had Larry pinned to the wall holding him up
And Michael's just like, it's okay
It's not about you
He's not going to the beach
Me sending pictures of Eric of me and all my friends at the beach
And him sending me pictures of him And it's raining and there's a horse.
It's about right.
Damn, Eric, guess you won.
That's fucking odd.
You could have broken your finger too.
God damn.
All right, that's true.
Fingers to get broken.
Man, they're so good at insulting each other.
Yeah.
All right, they're cool though.
They're brothers.
Yeah, they're brothers.
It's all right. They're cool. Oh they're brothers. Yeah, they're brothers. All right. It's fine
It literally was yesterday
Yeah, I mean there's been some timescales it's probably like three hours
Just pull over.
What?
God, the cutting.
The close-up to the mouth.
This is Michael Bay.
I'm getting sick.
All right, man. Hold the cameras.
There we go.
Those two shots right there.
I told you it was gonna happen.
Oh, people are talking? Check this out.
This is how you edit a dialogue scene.
You know, sticky. I think we should go back and re-edit It Happened One Night Like This. Oh, my dinner with Andre.
My dinner with Andre.
Dude, you need to work him.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
He's eating hot Cheetos.
Oh, hell yeah.
L'Amour?
Probably not.
Give some to the dog.
No way.
Make him go... Is the dog even with him still?
No, it's the other car.
The other car, right? Yeah, he's with the partner
Which where'd he go did he blow up yet?
He crashed into a wall yet. What do you mean yet?
I mean every other car is doing it and the parking every cop car in the movie is smashing into a wall
I'm sure big jugs of water checking does the dog die you know the dog is better
No, that's fine. That's fine. You missed the whole section where that guy for whatever reason
Explains that he doesn't go east of downtown. Oh really?
Do you know how much of LA is east of downtown?
all of it
I go from downtown to the beach. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, she calling
She's calling doesn't know about, yeah. That's it. That's right, yeah. She's calling. She's calling. Doesn't know about the...
Yeah.
That it's him, I guess, on the news
or maybe she's the only person in LA
not watching the news.
Yep.
He got a job.
He's just...
He's just lying to her?
Yeah.
On FaceTime.
But he didn't have to.
He didn't turn the video on.
But also he's got, like, the window down.
Yeah.
And, like, there's so much going on.
The phone call
will be going for one second
she'll be like
where are you?
are you in a car?
what are you doing?
and she's just like
hey what's up?
oh god
aww
listen to this music
aww
it's emotional
so sad
my heart hurts
poor lady
yeah exactly
poor woman has no idea
what's going on
with her man
according to
doesthedogdie.com the dog is is in danger, though as far as we know, he survived.
Thank God.
Do you want to go see him again?
The dog is in danger.
That's a website?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, it comes in handy.
Look up John Wick.
No.
No.
What happens in Cujo?
Oh no!
The dog wins.
Turner and Hooch.
Look up Turner and Hooch.
What happens in Old Yeller? Oh shit. Oh no! The dog wins. Turner and Hitch. Look up Turner and Hitch. Yeah, what happens to an old yeller, man?
Oh, shit.
I really like that Gracie would put Cinnamon in a movie, but not in the way of Gunfire.
No, never.
Yeah, the real Gunfire.
You don't want to make people check that website.
Yeah, no.
Cinnamon lives.
Good swirling sound.
Can you hear it?
Of course I can hear it.
Gracie, it's all we can hear.
I thought it was the movie. Honestly, with the music hear it Gracie it's all week and year I thought it was it's now louder
honestly with the
with the music
it's the saddest
swirling ever heard
I thought it was the dog
I was just watching it happen
so I knew what it was
just giving the people
a little ASMR
that's definitely
what they want
during this
93 minutes in
93 minutes in
someone's going
I wish somebody
would swish a straw around in some someone's gone. I wish somebody would
At least you spill on yourself
Who would have done that?
Well, let me just make my Thanksgiving plate. Where's the closest lap?
All right, all right Thanksgiving plate. Where's the closest lap? Yeah! Where's the closest lap? Alright!
Alright, remember those guys they talked to earlier?
Yeah, I was wondering what happened to them.
I'm in the ambulance.
Wonder no more!
I'm in the ambulance.
Oh wow.
Oh wow.
Wow.
Wow.
What?
Do you think they explode? What's the guy's hold up?
Let me just say, if Eric came to me and said,
just, hey, can you do this thing for me, whatever, whatever,
I don't think he'd be like, I don't know, man.
It seems a little sketch with all the explosives and the guns
and all these guys that look like they're gonna murder me
are you sure about this yeah no it's for face jam okay I guess this is how we get
the van this is it yeah this is how we get five vans oh yeah oh turn it up turn
it oh yeah I thought this was at the beginning of the movie. No!
Also, that never works right. When you try to share AirPods, it always turns off.
It's like, are you clicking it? Oh, it's out of your ear.
Are you clicking it? I didn't click it. Stop.
This was Jake Gyllenhaal's idea.
Okay.
This was not in the movie.
Great fucking idea.
Oh.
I was so drunk watching this, and this happened, and I went, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life.
This is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life.
I think you started texting me at this point.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I think I was texting you going, you have to see Ambulance.
It doesn't show me out.
You looked fine for a second there.
Anyway, we're going to drive into the ocean.
Yeah, attempt to drive into the river.
Here we go.
Here we continue to go.
Now, here we go.
This is part of the plan.
Something new is being initiated.
This is where the zombie apocalypse started in Fear of the Walking Dead.
This is where they had the big race in Greece.
In the L.A. River? Yeah. This is the best part apocalypse started in Fear of the Walking Dead. This is where they had the big race in Greece. In the LA River?
Yeah.
This is the best part of Terminator.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Terminator 2.
Yeah.
That's what the music is.
Uh-huh.
Oh.
Sorry about your pants.
That was his pants, not my pants.
Sorry about your pants, dude.
I'm Michael.
That's Eric.
You sound alike. I've Michael. That's Eric. You sound alike.
I've heard that before.
Die.
I can't tell them apart.
Really?
Why don't you join this chase?
Throw him in there.
I mean, because they don't die.
This is Nick driving one of the cars that crashes into a wall.
Yeah.
He's not even in the chase.
He's just driving.
I know.
Right, yeah.
If you get assigned to this chase, it's a death sentence.
I thought that helicopter was going to crash for some reason.
What?
It wouldn't do that.
All right.
They've gotten out of the ambulance.
What was it going to do?
Why would it do that?
Yeah, it doesn't have a weapon on it.
It's like it's trying to scare a caveman
I'm a flying metal bird
Indiana Jones time travel Oh dial a destiny stuff
Oh
Damn Oh Oh, damn.
Nick loves this music.
Yeah, these drums.
Simulating drums over there.
Racing through the water.
I got guns.
How would you not hit the helicopter is my question.
Why even bother shooting at the helicopter?
It doesn't seem to be doing anything.
There's not water everywhere. There's not water
everywhere. There's not.
You guys wouldn't know. Honestly, it's mostly
not water. It's famous for being
mostly not water. That's why so many
movies are shot in the LA River.
Yeah, but in the river
there's water everywhere.
Again, what are the helicopters gonna do crash into them?
That's definitely Jake Gyllenhaal looks just like him and now what the fuck
You can't do that. They have been doing it the whole movie. This has broken so many rules.
Press him.
Kill yourselves, quick.
Good call, Nick.
Smash into anything that's stationary.
If it's not moving, ram into it.
Send him a message.
Send these concrete barriers a message.
We're willing to die to get you!
We're gonna- we're gonna chase out construction out of Los Angeles.
It's- again, it is an ambulance.
Whoa! He's like that guy we saw driving back from Curragh.
Yes, absolutely.
Uh, that was all fake.
No!
No, that was real. All of that was fake.
Oh, he's frowning now.
Again, remember when they flew him in?
He's like, I am an expert.
I wanna know what his plan is currently. He's done nothing.
Throw every civilian he can at him.
Everything he does is wrong, it's great.
What? What move?
They did nothing!
Don't crash is the move.
It's his first day crash again
three hours ago it was not a criminal also that guy is constantly throughout
this film stopped and then moving and then stopped and then moving and it's
like alright let's roll and I don't know why he's ever not rolling up can I tell
you the part that's about to happen uh Is it insane? Blue my fucking mind.
Alright guys, they've been working towards this forever.
Now, you've heard this plan before, right?
I mean they said it. It's like, oh we're gonna make a bunch.
And then you're not gonna know.
You're not gonna know which one it is, Jordan.
And the whole movie, I just thought, I just thought, any...
Just generic action film.
Any Jason Bourne, he's driving around in a little tiny car,
and there's a bunch of tiny cars.
Which one's his tiny car?
And then this happens, and I was just speechless.
It all leads to this.
They all stopped and parked and got out.
The last scene with him in it was him closing a trunk like, let's roll.
And now he stopped again.
Well, he rolled here.
He rolled to this spot and stopped again.
Yep.
You want to let him relax more than you have been so far.
It's been pretty relaxing.
I know we've been putting the pressure on them.
Yeah, I know we've got 14 funerals to go to next week.
We can't worry about that now.
He's telling Will to walk away.
Like, just get out of this.
What?
What?
What the fuck does that mean?
Switch the fucking switch.
They're going to paint the whole thing green Jordan you have to watch ambulance
to really understand an ambulance
it's also one of those things
where you see him spraying it and you go that's so unrealistic
that would never work
right like
oh they're gonna spray it and he's gonna leave and he's gonna come back
and it's gonna be all sprayed
yep okay it's also like it's the real deal it's like why do you need that many
yeah i bet it's one ambulance it's also all wired to each other i bet one bomb would blow up all the
other bombs jesus christ he's still doing it though yeah he's doing it as he's wiping it and Jesus Christ
He's still doing it though
He's doing it as he's wiping it
And he's still doing it
It doesn't even make any sense
It's not even a comic miscommunication
No
Look at it
That looks great
Look at the ambulance
Look at it
This is a great idea
Oh it's a bank vehicle
Crazy
They'll never find it
I don't
No never
Wait
I sure wouldn't find it
Like
Huh? You know what let him go Is he driving They'll never find it. I don't. No, never. Wait. I sure wouldn't find it. Like, huh?
You know what?
Let him go.
Is he driving the one with the bombs in it?
He's got an ambulance.
Are they going to kill Castro finally?
Fanciful Dave in the chat just says, it's gone.
Yeah.
So now, here's the thing.
Uh-huh.
Okay, here come the ambulances.
There's a bullet hole in the one.
But also, now it's the only green one.
Yeah.
Why?
Why did you paint it?
You'll see.
It's not a good trick.
I mean, it started out as one.
It's green now.
Right. It's fucking spray-painted green. they go. Oh, I guess that's it. I
What huh?
Common army trick looking the same right so so five of them look the same and then there's the one green one
That's not a green ambulance
Jake Gyllenhaal's ideal scenario instead of of it being green, it would be blue.
It would look like that, but blue.
Correct.
It would look like you took the spray paint tool and went...
I don't think it would make a difference what color it is if this is what you're going for.
Why did they paint it at all?
All is revealed with an ambulance.
They all look the same already.
He's an accomplice now.
Poor Castro.
I feel...
What the fuck?
It's driving in the background.
It's just a normal ambulance.
It's a normal neon green...
How did nobody notice it?
Jordan, it's a normal neon green spray-painted ambulance, dude.
What kind of horse shit is this? I hate this fucking movie
No, no, that's him is this is this when you texted Michael I was wrong
Nah, dude, no way baby. He said Eric just said I'm not sure how but I just bought stocks in this film
Failure to send failure to send
Jumping out the bag.
It was a little hard, like crazy.
Here it goes!
Hey, remember how that guy's stationary
and then not? Check out Not Bitch.
No, you can't kill him!
He's got a dog to go home to!
Oh shit!
Jesus Christ.
Isn't this the scene where somebody almost
dies? Like in the filming?
Yeah, like they filmed it and I think somebody almost dies
That guy did look very close to that
Yeah, so like they got injured
Or it was like they almost got blown up
No, like something like the car flipped into him
Or they got like hit or something
That guy right there
He's not acting
I think what they showed, you're right
I think that is the guy who got hurt.
We've been trying to save cops all day.
Not these guys.
Directed by John Landis.
Get an ambulance!
Officers down!
Good news, boss.
If only there was a green ambulance.
That suspicious guy running away and throwing a detonator on the ground.
A very clear detonator.
Hey, who are those guys?
That doesn't look like an RC car.
What the?
What?
Hey!
What is this shot?
Hey, watch this.
Oh no, the detonator.
You have a gun, shoot him.
Huh?
What?
Wait.
Everyone's just so dazed.
Whatever you do, don't shoot it!
Oh, now shoot it. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE This is insane. This is just like Breaking Bad. Couldn't they have just used the Gatling gun from where they were standing on the bridge?
Yes.
And done the exact same thing?
Instead of driving a car in at five miles an hour and doing it?
With the fake guy in it?
Shoot at the gun!
Shoot the bullets back into it!
It's the only way to stop it!
What are they shooting at?
That's okay.
They have USC on in the hospital.
At least they killed the dummy guys. Oh! Oh no! That's okay, they have USC on in the hospital. Oh!
At least they killed the dummy guys.
Suspect down.
Insane.
The other guys with the remote were 20 feet behind that.
Why didn't they shoot them?
I still can't believe the green ambulance snuck by in the background.
Dude, because he was buying time.
He was like, I don't even know how I got in this ambulance.
And they tricked him. But why was it green? but why was the grade guys we still got 30 minutes again
not just spray-painted green it's just spray paint looking for something that
they were like why they might try to hide could that be it no that's green
that's great no forget about it it's green. Forget about it. It's green. Whoa! His spleen exploded. I don't think that's where the spleen is.
What was that?
Oh, no.
Whoa.
No.
They would not show this on TV.
Yeah, they would. Exclusive.
Yeah.
They would on Fox News.
They would, and they have.
Yeah.
This is going to be so much paperwork.
Yeah, imagine the police report for this.
I got to wear a fitted backwards hat more often.
That's a look.
That's such a...
Again, this movie, I think, takes place in 2004.
So why was that guy in this movie?
What do you mean?
To lead the chase.
Yeah.
The guy that just got chain gunned.
Yeah.
He did nothing.
He was leading the whole thing.
He did nothing the whole movie.
And he's not.
The FBI guy is connected more to him.
So he should have been that guy.
I know.
But they brought him in an hour and 20 minutes into the film.
For some reason.
Again, don't let this movie keep you from... if you got an idea for a movie...
I mean obviously it can get made. Go for it.
We're watching it. And we tricked so many other people into watching it with us.
And it wasn't easy. I am tricked as well.
We tricked you. I'm one of them.
You're welcome.
Your microphone got sad for a second. It did.
It went, ooooh.
So is it done? Did they did they escape?
These guys are about to kill them now. Yeah
No, they would never double-cross them. Well. They just lost someone
It's like his nephew or something do they even have the money are they like?
You have some amount of money
Where's this big backpack? He just took it out of the ambulance They have the money? Are they, like... They have some amount of money. Where's this big backpack?
He just took it out of the ambulance.
They have some money.
What if they're like, get out or I'll shoot you?
I'm in an impasse here.
He told me not to.
Also, this cop is...
He should be dead.
He's fine, dude.
His spleen is being held together with a scrunchie. to also also this cop is he should be dead he's fine dude he should be dead
find his his spleen is being held together with a scrunchie 20 minutes
keep anyone alive for 20 minutes you read that happened like 30 minutes no no
it I mean yeah he got shot like 25 minutes into the film uh-huh why is it
his money I think it was like is Is he doing the job for him?
It was a whole thing.
Yeah, he was supposed to get a cut and this and that, whatever.
Yep.
So it's like, if he got fucked...
That's eight million?
Yep.
Uh, I believe that.
I guess if they're all hundos.
It's...
You could get a lot of money in a small thing.
My spleen hurts.
I don't think it does, actually. Why can't I feel my spleen? I don't think my spleen hurts I don't think it does
Why can't I feel my spleen
I don't think my spleen hurts at all
I think I have appendicitis
Why do I feel like I have a spleen hole in my body
This guy is up and talking
Impossible
He's coherent
Do you think Kim will go out with me
He would have died in four minutes
I'll never know Kim's last name.
Kim is not into you, especially after today.
Oh, yeah.
She's going to take one look at him and be like,
Kim is not going to be impressed by him getting shot.
Look at this spleen motherfucker.
She was there when he didn't notice the bank was getting robbed.
And he kept going, really empty.
This is crazy.
You look nervous.
Yeah, not much of a meet cute, huh?
I was being held at gunpoint.
He didn't notice.
He's in a helicopter now.
They get around.
It's fine.
This over here is around.
We're in a Dodge Ram.
Maybe I want to buy a helicopter i'm on a roof
and i'm standing in the middle of the street oh no chain guns so
so they had this whole thing worked out where he was going to get a cut of the money
but his son's dead now that was his son i believe that is his son or his nephew oh yeah they fucked
up it's personal.
Oh, it's his son. There you go.
Oh, shit.
Well, no, it makes you lucky.
Yeah.
He's dead.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, you sent him out there to blow shit up.
Don't you usually, like, have people?
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, why send him?
You're at the top of this, like, organization.
Yeah, it's weird that-
It's like, my only son.
I only just sent my son to do this.
Not some other guy. It's not like Tony Soprano sending AJ
Yeah, I mean that is what that was that was like if he sent AJ out there and what the fuck you couldn't do it
I want you to uh what you help Chrissy
Yeah, you guys get along right
In any Yeah, you guys get along, right? Are they in any scenes together?
Impossible.
They spared us to this point.
See what happens when they're outside of the ambulance?
You gotta stay in the ambulance.
People forget allegiances.
But the ambulance binds us.
The ambulance keeps us safe.
It's the glue that holds us together.
The shot that's about to happen is one of the coolest shots in the movie. It's so sick.
I'm not a cool shots guy. I don't typically care.
Drone shot from the gun through his head.
You're about to find out.
Your inner sanctum? This is your inner sanctum?
It's just a warehouse in Boyle Heights
It looks like it's really hot
Also she's an EMT
It doesn't matter
And you're not the master of mystical arts
Inner sanctum
Where's Wong?
I'll kill you and your 50 men.
All of a sudden, he's a loose cannon.
I have training.
You're not?
I mean, you shot a cop.
Well, no, he didn't.
Well, you're the... They're just trying to get home, dude, after all the events they caused.
That's some good spinning.
They're just trying to get home, dude.
All these things happened to us, not because of you.
We were just minding our own business at the bank.
I can't wait for that argument in the trial.
We were trying to take the payday money sitting there, and then you did this.
We were just two guys.
And then the other guy got his legs run over for nothing
Yeah brothers you might say I mean
I just don't know why you need to do this when you have so much how much like money that you have like a Keurig
already
Thinking about it though, I'm thinking about it. Oh you guys might get a text from me later. Massive bank robbery, DT Austin?
DT ATX?
Massive bank robbery.
From a number I've never seen before?
Okay, I'm going to tell you this.
If I'm of sound enough mind later, you'll get something.
Oh, hell yeah.
I can't wait.
I might be asleep.
You'll'll get it
You fucked up an hour and 40 minutes ago, man
There was no saving when you had five minutes to think about it. You should have said that I don't think so. Yeah
I'll take my coffee to go.
Different movie.
We're starting to wind down on time, though.
I'm getting nervous.
Are you getting scared?
Yeah.
We only have like 20 minutes left.
How are they going to get away with it?
Plus, there's credits, so really we only got like 15.
That's true, yeah.
Oh no.
You have to list all the drone operator names, man.
It takes a while.
They're all named like, by their gamer tag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Six.
Six.
A lot of X's.
A lot of X's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
XXBRO.
Spitfire.
Yeah.
XXNeo.
IXI. Joker's Minds. XX Bro Spitfire XX Neo IX
I
Joker's Minds
69
Twisted
Brother
Yeah, he's a pretty, when I was watching this whole movie I was thinking, this guy's a hero
Yep Great driver, shot a cop.
Right, it was heroic when you shot that guy.
Yep.
I love that they're giving them so much time to talk about it.
Yep.
I'll never forget that time we were kids
and we pretend drove that truck.
Yep.
Played Atari. Played Atari.
Played Atari.
Just go left.
Go left. Go left!
It's code.
Eric, it's code.
Hey, why don't we go left together? Go left. Go left. Go left!
How many times do I have to say
if that was, if
if that were like Michael and Eric in that situation
Eric would just be like
What the fuck are you talking about
Fuck yeah
Yeah
That's my brother
We don't know if he's dead
Oh no he's all over his inner sanctum
Dude that guy looks too well
Yeah I know
His blood went back up the
floor into him you know what these guys are heroes now yeah that was pretty
heroic well I just killed those people they're just two guys trying to get home
they're just trying to get home yeah can you believe this wasn't a video game
look at it green ambulance they really should have yeah surprised. I didn't have a game
You didn't even see I'm a hero
Why did you look shocked you did something what did you did?
That's what these do Who shot him? I thought it was a medic gun. Yeah. I thought it was like a mercy thing where I'm healing you
Thought I'd shot a magical elixir that cured all wounds. It's like a Team Fortress 2 situation. Yeah
All right, we're out of we drove through five clotheslines
Why wouldn't they get a different car because it's already incognito? Yeah, because it already got through once
It's so green.
Look, no one will ever know.
Why is it green?
Here it is.
Grenade launcher.
I'm still so mad.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Why did they do the slow motion shot of the gun if they didn't show the bullet?
It's the best.
I love it.
He just decided at this point, slow motion.
Why did he blow that guy up?
He blew his friend up.
Why?
I guess he was like, I'll catapult you into the ambulance.
And then you'll have a clean shot.
You got a shot now.
Oh, no.
Take your shot.
Take your shot.
Oh, he's alive.
She's punching at him.
Get out of my car.
This is my ambulance.
His ambulance now?
Ran him over.
Yeah, that guy definitely got ran over.
My legs, again.
You thought we were done with the ambulance?
You thought wrong.
This movie's still going.
We're in the ambulance.
We're in the ambulance.
This is how it has to end
homeward bound they're just two guys trying to get home they should just go to their house pull
into the driveway get inside and hide under the covers in bed and then just pretend like
they wasn't them oh just pretend like they were asleep yeah whoa what are you doing the cops are
gonna bust the mill it can't be them that money looks so fake It doesn't even look remotely real. It looks like they took just printer paper and made the money.
It's like a white paper.
It doesn't look remotely real.
We ran out of ink.
He's stashing that cash, baby.
Yeah.
That's your money.
Put this in my pocket.
But then, love.
No, I think he just
sees the good in her.
What? He sees the good in her?
Or vice versa? And vice versa.
Yeah, what are you saying?
I think she is.
But he gave her all the money.
I'm going to have the game in Jack.
She a gold digger.
That's what Gracie's pulling from this.
I didn't trust her from the beginning.
I knew she was going to go, I knew it!
Well, you know, if they're the good guys, she's got to be the bad guy.
You've got to play the hostage takers from the start.
Why do people keep shooting people and then trying to save them?
That's a longer name for this movie.
I shot you, don't die.
The movie?
Yeah.
Quick, blend in at the hospital.
Drive through the front door.
It's the green one.
If you go by the side gate, there's a dumpster.
You can drive up and you can jump over the gate entrance to the airport.
And then you can take the jet in the back. Yep
Think about it
You get three stars for going in the airport I think but I think they're already up to five at this point right so it doesn't
Matter yeah, the helicopters already coming after you. I I don't think so. I haven't seen a tank yet, so they got it for ya
No tanks. They don't arrest you now. They're not even tanks though. They're like they're like realistic like APC's
Give me an army tank. Scott in the chest says do you think they see the ambulance?
Which one is it?
Why is it green? I will not get over that. I know it makes no sense
And even what really makes us is Jakehaal still had him do it.
Yeah.
You would have been like, oh, forget it. It's green.
Fine.
You fucked it up.
Don't do it.
He's like, well, just cover it up.
Oh, fuck.
Didn't see me here, did you?
He can hide there again.
Yeah, hide by the door again
yeah clear there's no one in there he's in the hospital he's in the hospital she
keep anyone alive for 20 minutes he learned how to use the Atari that's a
weird water bottle. I'm so thirsty. What's happening?
I mean, at this point,
they can't go anywhere. No, they're fucked.
Like, don't worry about killing them now. Fanciful
Dave says, paint yourself green.
Oh, shit.
Just walk out.
Maybe they still got the spray can in there.
I can talk him down.
What have you also done this whole movie?
Yeah.
Nothing.
You know him.
Nothing.
You've done nothing.
No one did anything.
Danny, you shot in there?
Danny's fine.
It's Will.
He doesn't know.
How does he know?
What?
That's a gun.
What is this?
That's a gun. What is this? That's a gun.
Idiot.
Dude.
This is a clock.
From him.
Are you insane right now?
What is happening?
What?
Ooh.
Uh-oh.
Eric and Larry.
I feel like we need a disclaimer.
He didn't actually grab Larry.
If you're our first member watching this,
I did not grab Larry by the throat.
No, but he was very short.
It was like a figure. He was very short. It was like a figure.
He was very short.
He was very short about picking up his grandparents and not having a hotel room he thought he had.
It's an hour drive from the airport.
Larry had nothing to do with the hotel.
Larry was caught in there.
Larry was the dog in the car earlier.
Eric's dad was driving.
Absolutely.
He's just a guy trying to go home.
Yeah, you can tell.
He's just trying to go home.
I just want to see all my cars again.
I just want to see all my cars.
One last time.
Mike Gehrig! I just want to see, oh my god. One last time. Where's my Gearing?
Shouldn't you be helping your brother?
This is not even satisfying.
What do you mean?
It's so satisfying.
Like whatever happened. It's going to happen and you're going to go, I was wrong.
That was awesome.
Do they all get to avoid jail time?
Why don't you wait three minutes and find out? No, I'm going to happen and you're going to go, I was wrong. That was awesome. Do they all get to avoid jail time? Why don't you wait three minutes and find out?
No, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
Now's the time to get out.
Gavin Stiles.
I mean, you're watching this part and you're going, I got to get up and piss.
You haven't done anything.
You've done nothing.
You've done nothing here today, sir.
He flew in a helicopter.
He did.
Shoot.
Kill him!
Kill him!
He shot a cop.
Also, even if he didn't shoot a cop, he ate it
in a massive bank robbery in
downtown LA. And then
he shot a cop, and then the whole movie took
place.
He shot that bird. And then the whole movie took place No
He shot that bird oh wow I thought it was gonna end there that would have been
So much better if it just goes to like we go guys
Their dad's gonna be pissed. I think he's dead.
I'm a hero.
I'm a hero.
You're off the hook.
He was already down though.
They threw him out of the ambulance.
He's been shot.
But also he was already laying down.
Yep.
Cuffer.
And now they just have to look at each other.
How did we get here?
How did we get in this mess?
We could have been drinking Keurigs.
Just a couple of brothers.
Could have been having... They got hot cocoa versions.
They got a little Swiss Miss pod.
The hot chocolate. They got tea. I just bought a box of tea. You don't have to have
coffee. I got breakfast tea. I need to save them. I'm the most important person here.
It's my time now. He's like a brother to me.
This guy just keeps getting adopted. He keeps getting adopted.
Oh, he just lost a brother, so...
Nah, he's still there, see?
Oh, whoa.
That's what Taylor Swift should've done.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Just like that!
Dude, foreshadowing. Now you got bad blood.
You've got that.
He shot him in the back though. It's a cruel summer.
He was the getaway driver.
He should have known.
Oh, is he going to be a sheriff now? Yeah, he's going gonna be a sheriff now. I like that there
Yeah, he's gonna be a sheriff now Nick. They're playing dress-up cowboys and robbers in what looked like I get the LA River
Suns yeah, there's water everywhere. Yeah
That's how we knew what a nice so dramatic
No, I killed you
Dramatic.
No, I killed you.
Wait, I don't understand why he shot his brother.
Because he didn't want him to kill the lady.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, my God, she's here.
For the melodrama.
It's because they're in love.
She didn't know anything, any of this was going on.
Crazy ain't saying she's a gold digger.
And also, he's fine.
Oh, the cop is alive.
Yay.
There's money everywhere. Ain't no way people would be grabbing that
Cops
Oh yeah
I've seen we run this city
John Bernthal's gonna show up
Yeah
Big mustache
Take it over
Make up sleeping
Make up sleeping mustache take it over he got he got one of those sleep pod mode fucking pulled
it up right asleep do not wear them when you're driving your man your husband is
a literal maniac he's an absolute unhinged maniac.
I'm sorry.
Good driver, though.
No, he's the bad guy, ma'am.
Oh, boy.
We're gonna...
Don't worry.
Just forget him.
Don't worry.
If he dies, his debt dies with him.
Yeah!
She's a loser.
Yeah, it's her debt.
USA.
But it's her debt.
Oh. Yeah. It's her medical. USA. But it's her debt. Oh.
Yeah.
It's her medical bills.
USA.
Thanks, Nick.
See, it's her debt.
That's why he's screaming,
it should have been you!
Why didn't he call you for the job?
Gerky said those tears looked fake?
Dude, she rolled up and she went,
start the clock.
They're just watching this.
What?
We shot him.
He also shot him.
We shot him twice.
Yeah.
We really put him in this situation.
Dude, no one's helping except this woman.
Every person there is complicit to let this man die.
Well, yeah, it's a bunch of cops.
But they're also at a hospital.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, she doesn't even have to do anything besides get him inside.
And she is.
They're all just, here we are.
We'll just do nothing.
Cutting to the cops just watching is so funny.
But he's the criminal.
Look at the flowers, Will.
Look at the flowers.
Who is the real monster here?
Who is it?
Ambulance.
Asking the hard questions.
It was the ambulance that was evil.
This is the Bayhem, baby.
Check it out.
Is she going to give her the money?
He'll survive for at least 20 minutes.
But here's a few million dollars.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
No one's looking at us.
Yep.
We're paying attention to anything.
Yeah.
And not being filmed.
I've painted myself green.
No one can see this.
This is definitely not evidence.
Here you go.
Here.
Also, she still looks so great.
Yep.
Here's this large diaper bag Filled with diapers
Wink
Here you go
Go left
Don't touch her baby with your bloody hands
This is your father's blood
Give her the money
I was gonna take this for myself
Does she know it's in there?
I'll give her a couple points.
Don't be selfish.
I'll give her a couple points.
Oh, okay.
Oh, sneaky.
Some baby Benjamins.
Yeah, but I'm taking the whole bag.
Bundle of joy.
So you can have one.
And we're just going to let her leave.
One money stack.
Hey.
Hey, look who it is.
Where have you been?
Do you want to get sushi?
No, I'm not okay.
I'm slacking.
Are you okay?
Fuck no.
How about a drink?
I hope there's a shot where the cop who got shot in Kim.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah.
Otherwise, what was his whole story for?
What was the point?
That was it.
It sucks.
That was the story.
Yeah.
Do not enter.
Huh?
Yeah.
That's not my baby.
Did I put that there?
We're rich.
She's just hanging out
in the hospital
with like a million dollars.
I would leave immediately.
Me too.
I gotta go home.
Yeah.
Time to put the kid down.
Whoa. Yeah, time to put the kid down. Woah!
Where's Kim?
This is not a kid.
Not into you, dude!
I just need to know her last name.
I think it was Daniel.
I see you, James.
Wait a minute.
She does have feelings feelings cause in the beginning
she was like it's just a job
it's just a job
she's making sure Lindsay's okay
his name isn't Lindsay Grazy
Lindsay's the girl
the harpooned girl
and the guy
we needed closure on that
Scott was like I'm so fucked up
who cares Scott
we don't care
Tiberium Cat in the same day.
Tiberium Cat in the chat is just saying,
Why won't it end?
They're not ready yet.
This is the closure you need.
Nothing has happened. There's been no further details.
There's so much closure happening.
They're tossing and turning, they probably have uncomfortable pillows.
She has a baby and square money.
Do not enter.
Very cubic money. She has about a baby and square money very cubic money I don't enter
about a cubic meter of think pad yeah the amount of this movie yeah who shot
you well this is how you get it made yeah no you think somebody's paying for this movie? He saved me. Boom!
Boom!
Whoa.
Well, he was also there, so. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't undo all the crimes he did.
It does, actually, Jordan.
That is how it works.
Well, because also his brother dies, so you kind of feel bad for him now.
And it's like, oh, he's got a baby?
Yeah.
All right, he's fine.
All is forgiven.
Here's a million dollars, kid.
Lindsay lives!
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
All she had was a broken leg.
Turns out, wasn't that big of a deal at all.
Six stitches.
Clean break. Missed all her vital organs.
But, what if she just sat down
and just went
I'm setting you free
I've started a new mission now
I'm an angel of mercy
she like has wings come out
and then the end
don't let go
Mountain Swede says
you can shoot someone
as long as you save their life
then it's fine
yeah
I won't that's what I'm taking from save their life Then it's fine I won't
She goes don't let go
Meanwhile her parents are like who are you
Who the fuck are you
Why are you in here
Also she let go she's outside now
Well the kid died
I had to ask her to leave
Damn
All in a day's work
She blended in with the ambulance.
It's a good jacket.
Now she's on the night shift.
Is it over?
Yeah!
We did it!
Jesus Christ.
We finally did it!
That sucked!
What a rollercoaster.
No!
No, it was everything that we thought it would be and more.
And so much more.
We just... It was definitely more. We just wanted to see it with Jordan. Yeah, and that guy over there
At the time Gracie wasn't even alive. No. Yeah, there's no just a gleam in our eye. Yep
Now we have Gracie here and all the other jammers. I got suckered into watching. Wow. We tricked you successfully
I'd say there goes your Friday night, but you weren't doing anything. Yeah, yeah, you were fine. Plus you got plenty of time.
I was doing nothing dude. Doing nothing.
Thank you first members for signing up. Gracie you want to put a pause on that for just a second?
No Gracie, keep doing it. Keep doing it man.
Keep fiddling that straw.
That's on me.
Thank you so much, First members, for watching with us.
That was a lot of fun. Thank you and
sorry. Oh, you could see us
the whole time down there?
Are you just now seeing that?
You could see us the whole time big.
There are multiple cameras.
They got that one. We got that one.
There was a whole suite.
I see.
Thank you guys for watching.
If you're a first member, obviously you already know about all of the stuff we put up at facejampod.com.
So please continue to check that out.
Let us know.
Check out our 35-minute video.
We recorded a spit and silly today that is shorter than the video we just put up where I am betrayed for a second time.
You're not betrayed.
You're not betrayed.
I don't work for you.
I can't betray you.
It's rogue.
We went rogue.
They just went rogue.
You give me guidelines and I ignored them.
I'm going rogue.
Cool.
Thank you guys for this.
We know that maybe having to rent a movie to watch this also
is like the weirdest thing.
Here's the thing though, you're this far in now, so next time
it's gotta be easier. Yes, it's gotta be so much
easier. We'll have some
more stuff probably after the new year
and everything, some more events, some more
streaming things or whatever, probably
a lot more videos. I think we have a lot of
ideas that we're kind of kicking
around for next year. Joey Spesh
says totally worth $3.79.
I agree. And now Stab owns
this. Oh, congrats, Stab.
With the Jambulance. The only
Jambulance cover in existence.
I had a really good idea that y'all should sign it and give it away to a fan.
Whoa!
So that stabs out even more money.
Oh, no!
The movie cost $17.
$17.
You should have bought it digitally.
It reminds me of when Brett Favre was on the cover of Madden and he retired.
And then he came back as a jet.
But he was in the Packers thing.
So they put a little slip in the new Madden game where it's the same photo, but he's in the jet suit.
That's awesome.
So you could just buy Ambulance
and then print out your own little slip of Jambulance
and slide it in there.
Well, maybe we'll do a raffle of something for this
for people who tuned in.
I can't believe we had triple digits.
That was crazy.
Eric will follow up, I'm sure.
We got stabbed.
Guys, that was some true bayhem.
Any parting words? Stop true bayhem any parting words
stop saying bayhem
it's when it says it
on the back
yeah but you said it
twice
like an hour and a half
in and it was fine
then you said it
like three more times
that guy just
said it to variety
so that he could
pull the quote
that's what I'm saying
Michael Bay said
it's full of bayhem
and they said
it's full of bayhem
variety
guys of course
facejampod.com
you're already a first
member thank you so much.
Anything you want to say to the folks watching here?
No?
You guys are the true jammers for going through this.
Oh, God, yeah.
A hundred percent.
That's true.
Don't make it sound like it was great for them, though, Jordan.
You're making it sound like it was a chore.
I mean, it was a bit of a chore to get in this room.
It's definitely a chore to figure this out.
Is this a whole hot dog or are these tots?
Buying the movie and stuff, you guys have
gone above and beyond.
True jammers indeed.
But thank you guys.
We'll let you know when we're doing
something again and we'll see you next time.
Gracie, say bye.