100% Eat - KFC Double Down
Episode Date: March 14, 2023In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review KFC Double Down so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the Jack Harlow meal, the KFConsole, CMO KFC U.S. and more. Spons...ored by DoorDash Download the DoorDash app and enter code FACEJAM23 and Kato's Koffee http://katoskoffee.com and use code FaceJam20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we do try every new fast food creation to let you know if you do need it, you probably do do.
Oh, I didn't think he'd laugh that much. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan.
Sweetest Jordan, how are you?
Doing.
Do.
That's good.
Yeah.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Flying high from a good sports day yesterday.
I know this is not a sports podcast, but.
Could have been.
Eric, just imagine if your Padres
beat the Dodgers
30-0. Oh my god.
30-0? That is the level
of victory that my favorite
team, Liverpool, achieved. There was a
30-0? No, it was
7-0, which is like a 30-0 in baseball.
It's soccer. It's equivalent. Is it equivalent?
Yeah, I mean, it's a lot. But isn't
it one each on both
in both sports it is but some things are easier to do in other sports yeah on average i would say
seven goals equals about 30 runs i don't know how clearly you would say that that's what we're
talking about i don't know how i was wondering how you got any times i've seen seven goals scored
and then also seven goals scored unopposed
from like rival. How many times have you seen 30?
Is it more than
zero?
They've gotten to 30 runs before, right?
Someone.
They've done it. People have told
me that they've gotten many
runs before. I've seen like at least
32 runs scored in a game. To zero?
I think I want to say it was
the Braves and the Mets. How would they let the game
continue? Let these men go home.
I think it might have been 32 to zero. Of course it was
the Mets.
August
25th, 1922.
Oh, come on. That doesn't count. I was six.
That doesn't count.
49 combined runs. What is that?
From both teams? from the Phillies
well it was 48 to 1
dude we're due
that was 100 years ago
that's a long time ago
we're due
wow
anyway
so I think
what we found out
is what Jordan said
was dead on
yeah 100%
good stuff
you know what
I shouldn't ask
but I'm glad I did
because I learned a little bit
and I feel like
now the audience knows
that 7 to 30 split
oh yeah just to put it in context yeah Nick didn't have anything to say about the sports stuff to ask, but I'm glad I did because I learned a little bit. And I feel like now the audience knows that 7-30 split. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just to put it into context, yeah.
Nick didn't have anything to say about the sports stuff.
That's crazy. Well, imagine
the Cowboys beat the Eagles 70-0.
Yeah, I think
that's kind of equivalent.
I mean, imagine
the Cowboys beat the Eagles 3-0.
I think you're going to get
the exact same fucking response out of it.
They were...
Oh, boy.
There was no difference.
67-point differential.
If you couldn't hear us laughing over it, it was the same.
The guy's just happy that the Cowboys are winning a game.
But also, today we're reviewing KFC's Double Down.
That's today.
And that is a good sports win for us as well.
Today is the first day, the day of this recording.
This is the first day it's being offered.
Oh, really?
And I don't like that.
Why?
Because we went to go get it on the first day it's being offered
and I had zero confidence that it was going to be there.
I like that you still to this day have these problems.
Right.
Or just like that you get worried because I've never thought about it once,
and we're years in at this point.
Right, but you don't have to hear about it.
I know that.
I'm not telling you I'm confused.
Right.
I'm just telling you I like to know where you're at and that I'm where I'm at.
Right.
Isn't it funny, the difference?
It's like a seven to zero difference.
It's very funny.
It's very funny.
But I'm not asking you to see the humor.
It's impossible.
You're too far in the weeds.
Yes.
But what I am saying is to you.
I could see it just fine.
I think it's great.
What I can say to you is though,
but just know,
imagine you were me looking at it
and just know where I go,
oh, wow, you were worried about that?
I didn't even know we were eating.
Now, let me ask the equivalency.
Is it when we heard Nick talking to the man at KFC about sauce and knew we were going
to hammer him for a while?
Is that Nick says no.
Well, look, and you and you and you're not.
And by the way, I assume you're not saying we're going to hammer him as in about to as
we already did.
No, no, we already did for the whole ride yeah yeah yeah because of the way he was answering our very direct questions it's a
thing it's a thing where i feel like if nick were if i were the prosecutor and he was my witness
and and i would say your honor may i treat this witness as hostile because he's being purposely
flippant you you know what you're goddamn saying. You're avoiding the answers that are being questioned.
He always does this.
The other way.
And it's always intentional.
It was something along those lines.
We were on our way out, and then anytime Nick has a conversation with someone at an establishment,
they're sauce.
He doesn't speak to anybody for any other reason.
We know what he's talking about.
Because Eric goes in, he knows what the food is, and is worried about it, whether it's going to be there or not.
Correct.
So he goes in.
I don't even ask.
I don't care.
He goes in and does it.
Usually Nick's there drooling over some candy or dessert drink or ice cream thing or whatever.
Cinnabon.
And depending on.
Anyway, he's got.
He's dangling sauce.
He did yell, I might have some in the car.
And he did.
He did.
Now, some days. Not Not my car by the way
He would go to his car to get it
I can't wait for the day
When his sauce is in your car
It might already be
I can't wait for the day
That George finds out
It's been there for two years
He's gonna kill him
I don't know what's going on back there
Sometimes you're going to the restaurant
And Eric
He's laughing
He's going
No we're not getting this stuff
Other days
He's thinking about getting angry And he just He's thinking about getting angry He's worried He's worried he's laughing. He's going, no, we're not getting this stuff. Other days, he's thinking about getting angry.
He's thinking about getting angry.
He's worried he's going to have to.
He's very rushed and quiet.
And a good COVID distance
away from us.
If he's a good six feet, you know he's thinking about getting mad.
It's pretty true.
I hadn't considered that before
and you're really opening my eyes to some stuff, man.
Had not thought about it.
If he's nearby, it's cool.
If he's up there, you go, no, no, stay back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Could I take a side track real quick?
Dude, this whole thing's a side track.
Why would you be worried anyway?
Things go wrong with this show all the time, and it works out.
We went to a place that wasn't even open, and we made an episode.
Because there's the content things that don't go wrong
and then there's the fundamentally
this can't happen and we don't have a show
and that's what you're worried about.
Granted, I don't think that would be the case, but he
has to worry about it and we just don't care.
How do you know the audience is going to
if we even got the double downs?
I just, the whole time there, I'm going
like, alright, what am I going to do? I'm thinking
of eventually, like, what am I going to do when they say we don't have that?
What do I pivot to and go,
okay, we're going to do this.
That's probably closed.
The other KFC would definitely.
I looked online.
It's like, it's open.
It's like, I don't trust that shit at all.
Yeah, get the McRib.
You just have to think about what the next steps are if it
doesn't go the right way but then when it goes the right way you don't have to worry about it
so it's great it's easy so either way you're wearing see i just i'm with you except i don't
think about it until i get there i get that i understand i just let it blow up in my face and
then deal with it i just don't want to have to come back and we have like a huddle to figure
out what we're going to do. I just want to have
the answer to go. You're overcomplicating this
like it's a certain production
that may have taken place at 4 o'clock in the morning.
Right, right. This is just silly fun time
face change. And while you
want to avoid that, I more
have a sordid past. I want to avoid thinking
about getting mad every day. So I'll
be in the back talking to Nick going,
get the milkshake, get the milkshake.
That's why we purposely make the stakes lower on this show.
So Nick went to grab the food because we got our sodas
and then we waited.
The food came out very fast.
And then apparently the guy at...
I heard a conversation and I said,
what's going on over here?
I'll be honest.
I was talking to a man behind the counter.
I didn't even see the guy.
No, I saw, like, the guy's, like, hand.
It was like a TV show.
It was like talking to a neighbor on the fence.
Was he like a parent?
Yeah, yeah.
And I asked a question rhetorically going, what was that about?
Because I knew what it was about.
And then he immediately became dodgy.
Yep.
He went, sauce.
And it was too quick an answer, and he knew there was more. Yeah, he was like, I'm getting ketchup. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. So it was too it was too quick an answer and he knew there was more yeah he was like i'm
getting ketchup uh-huh oh yeah so it was sauce what's sauce yeah ketchup well then michael
michael asked him did you ask him for ketchup or did he initiate this did he ask you for
he offered he offered and then i go okay so he offered you ketchup and he goes, well, he offered. He offered. And then I go, okay, so he offered you ketchup. And he goes, yeah, he offered sauce.
And I said ketchup.
And I go, so he didn't offer you ketchup.
No.
No, no, he offered me ketchup.
I also heard the guy, Nick said the guy asked if we needed anything else.
Yeah.
And that's not sauce specific.
No.
But then it changed into he's asking about sauce.
Yep.
Well, because he was getting back into a corner.
Yeah.
And he had to start laying his saucy
escape. He's typing up a corner.
He's cornered monkey, man. He just starts
taking swings. By the way, he's typing up a response
like a flurry of
so properly. Yeah.
It's going to say no. Yeah.
It was just, it was just a
conundrum. Oh my God. He asked
about sauce. Right asked about sauce.
Right.
But then we said, but you said.
I'll kill you.
It says I'll kill you.
He was typing for three minutes.
So then it turned into Nick wanting ketchup.
He's refusing to also just say, I asked for sauce.
Yeah.
I'm just going, no, he offered it.
He offered vaguely if I needed help with anything
and I said specifically, yes, I want
ketchup sauce, sir. But then another person
walks up, the lady who took our
order and everything, who I did see
and knows, I know for a fact exists.
Yeah, she was real. She says,
oh, sorry, we're out of ketchup.
So he's not offering ketchup.
Why would he offer something they don't have?
It's true, but there was also a pause for a second.
I didn't know what Nick was going to do.
What's his next move?
Oh, that's all right.
Yep.
And then he grabbed the bag and we left.
Thank God it was all right.
Oh, and then he said as we were leaving, he said, that's all right.
And then turned around as we were leaving, he said, I think I have some in my car.
And then we got here and he showed up off his ketchup packet.
The most wrinkled P. Terry's ketchup packet.
Why don't you have ketchup in this building?
I don't.
You always eat here.
Here's the other thing, too.
You could ask that question of why don't you keep X in this building.
Anywhere ever you work is like, ah, someone might take it.
No one's going to take bottles of ketchup.
No one's going to go, fuck, dude,
ketchup in the fridge? He's not worried.
Unless his father-in-law comes by.
Yeah, he could take.
This is why we're, no, no, no, he stays outside.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I mean, he's got, like, his temporary desk,
but then he also has a real desk. Yeah.
Where you could just keep a bottle of ketchup. Uh-huh.
Anyway. Anyway, he's got it in the car.
So we got the KFC Double Down.
Yeah, we did.
And this is a return item.
Yes.
This is something that was around.
When was it around?
Or is that in the fact section?
Yeah, we'll learn more about it later.
Well, maybe we'll talk about it later then.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks, man.
We'll talk about what he made up later.
The KFC Double Down is one of the, I would think, top tier or most talked about tier of like fast food.
It is in the Hall of Fame of limited time.
I would think so.
Right.
Yeah.
Or it's not even like a seasonal thing that comes back.
Like this is the first time.
It's more like a remember that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the Doritos.
It was crazy.
Doritos taco.
And then this like I can't. I was around forever, though. Thatitos taco and then this.
That was around forever, though.
That's true.
Mexican pizza.
The Taco Bell Mexican pizza.
Yeah, but it was around forever, though.
It was.
They took it away.
Yep.
Nothing is as crazy as get a load of this.
We took the bread out and replaced it with chicken.
Yeah, truly.
I remember when it came out and it was like insane.
Yeah.
It was just people going, so what do you, so you hold the chicken?
Yeah.
And it's like, right, the way that you eat chicken, yes, you hold the chicken.
It like, for some reason, incongruent, just sort of like this, this thought of like, well, I can't hold it.
It is, I mean, like, I get it's weird because you don't hold like a, like a chicken breast.
Yeah.
Like for a sandwich.
Usually the bread is there. It's about that much don't hold like a chicken breast for a sandwich. Usually the bread is there to keep it in place.
It's about that much of difference.
It is a fucking mess, but also so is eating chicken.
So is eating chicken.
It's also a fucking mess.
I mean, that's...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Barbecue sauce?
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
It's greasy.
This doesn't happen when bread's involved.
Baste at something?
It's greasy.
You're holding it with your little mitts.
You have to wash your hands.
There's a lot of napkins.
You don't have to.
A lot of people probably won't, but you should.
It was disturbing.
Yeah.
It is a greasy sandwich.
I mean, it's two pieces of chicken.
It's greasy.
It's messy.
It's wet.
It's like everything.
It really is.
It's all just there, man.
I vaguely remember having the double down the first
time and i think i only had it once and i feel like it was way different than so you finally
doubled down again right this is double double i'm like quadrupling yeah you kept saying that
this is different and then i think this is different nick was thinking that too what the
hell is different about it i think the the the construction of the hell is different about it? I think the construction of the chicken
is different. It's like much more of a
Like the chicken breast or you think the chicken
when it was alive was constructed differently?
Honestly, probably both.
I'm just saying maybe that's why the chicken's shaped
weird. Maybe it was just a weird alive chicken. Maybe that's what
it looked like. You know what I mean?
But I remember it was much more like... What are you doing to it? Nothing!
It was much more... It's all these fucking chickens!
Oh, they're gonna be double downs. Go look at the fucking farm, dude. I don't fucking know. These are double downs. Don't worry about this one. It was much more like nothing. It was much more fucking chickens. Oh, they're going to be fucking far.
I don't fucking know.
These are double downs.
Don't worry.
It was much more like pressed and grilled in a different way.
Like it was definitely pressed different.
It was,
it was way greasier.
These are just like,
they took out the middle part of a Chick-fil-A sandwich and they made that
the bread,
which is not,
it's not conducive to holding it.
Like,
like the other one was,
I remember it being juicier. It has been 15 years or whatever, the bread which is not it's not conducive to holding it like like the other one was i remember
it being juicier it has been 15 years or whatever but like your mouth was probably wetter back then
it's getting dry i've been eating sand but i can't imagine that's part of it funny but i
couldn't even get through it and you laughed at it stupid Stupid. Your mouth was wetter.
I think Eric in general was
just overall wetter. I was a wetter man.
I mean, he has a smaller wetter man.
Even last year and a half
screamed about being hot and wet a lot
less. Maybe that was a
pandemic thing. I don't know.
I just assumed like not
knowing Eric that much longer beforehand
assumed it was a whole life thing about him yelling, being hot and wet.
No, no, it was definitely less.
Definitely a return to form.
Might have even been a pandemic slash car thing.
Yeah.
Because it was always a lot of him shaking in the driver's seat of his car.
I'm wet, I'm wet.
And then you could look over and see his shirt was wet.
But it was very hot in our cars.
Maybe that's what-
Turned them off to record. I forgot about that we were in a tgi friday's
parking lot and my back was all wet and michael was just looking at me i kept smiling
maybe that's where all your moisture went like that episode i don't know how but this podcast
is so dumb even just for me personally i don't know if it's you guys as well but like us doing
it in cars kept that alive oh yeah i would not have given a shit doing this every day every time at home but just watching
eric do something weird in his car when nick turned on his windshield wipers dude we did that
for so long it was the only thing that made it funny it was so much work to bring all that shit
it was but but it made such a difference yeah it really did being really being there like
honking horns and all this shit i feel like being able to to be in a physical space and look at
eric sweating right this is me or just like assuming and i i assume i am correct because
i'm talking to the bugs and they you know they know their place but like a lot of shit if you
watch that it never
stopped like pandemic episodes suck man yeah like uh just watching some of the like documentary
shit i watch like the seasonal shit it just get hit there's a lot of interviews and talking heads
and all of a sudden it's like real dog shit webcams oh yeah and that's fine the problem is
the microphone it's 2023 and i have something on the background and i'm listening to it and it's
like they have the narrator so it's crystal clear and then it's like, I was talking to Sally.
And I'm just going,
nope,
and I just skip the episode.
I think we avoided that
with our car episodes.
Yeah, I think we had to.
I think if people listen
to FaceTime now,
I'm just saying,
I feel like they're good enough
and they sound good enough
where people listen to them.
They're not like,
oh, these are the shitty car episodes.
There's meat in there.
You know, you get the van.
There's good stuff.
He becomes the monkey
at some point.
I'm glad that at least sounded good.
We were truly in our
chrysalis.
Forming all of the things
until we sprout out like a beautiful butterfly.
It was funny because it's not like
anybody knew what the hell Face Jam was when we started
it at the company, but it certainly
became, not just grew,
but it became so distinct in its identity.
Not just,
again, we're by ourselves here, but there's a building out there.
Us and our cars, we didn't see anybody.
Nobody knew what the hell it was. It's kind of where it became
unhinged. Then we finally come back to
the building, the space, and
it's like, what is this weird thing that's been going
for years? What the fuck?
And it's like, there's bugs, there's ghosts.'t even worry about it man oh man i can't imagine it would have gotten there
if we were in a building the whole time if he would have let us come in instead of showing us
yeah that's right when i was forcing you outside why didn't you think about fuck off uh that made
me think of something um we talk a lot about demographics on this show. Yes.
And we have pretty much solidified ghosts and the 60 to 85 demographic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's time to activate a new demographic that I don't think anybody's paying attention to.
Okay.
I'm talking about babies.
Okay.
And I'm not talking about two-year-old toddlers.
I'm talking about newborn babies who need gotcha
stimulation even earlier than that youtube grab right yeah you want to i'll go all the way into
the womb put some headphones on yeah so we need to like in front of jj's what you're talking about
we need to be earlier than coco melon or baby or baby shark womb tube thanks to thanks oh shit
yeah um that was my idea.
Pinkfong.
Dude, they get them quick, dude.
So here's the thing.
They get those babies quick.
Like, you know how-
You know, you have like a kid
and people are like,
oh, you shouldn't be like
quiet around the baby
because like the baby
should get used to it.
And we are not a quiet podcast.
No.
So you put us on.
You don't want to do it
all by yourself.
Don't hear about TGI Fridays.
I mean, I'll be honest.
This already works.
I've done what you're describing to my children. See?
Making this podcast. See?
There you go.
And the baby just sits there. And look how they're turning
it out. Yeah, look at him now.
Amazing. I think it's a good idea.
I think play this episode for your baby
in the womb. We'll take care of it for
you so you don't have to be the one
making noise.
You deserve a break. You gotta make the baby yourself though
yeah yeah we only show up yeah i don't want anything to do with that um you you show us
proof of the with like a sonogram um but just so we know it's you yeah like you know how when you
do an ama it's like you'll prove it to me it's like hold up a sonogram but like your baby's
doing the p sign like in the picture Make your baby do the peace sign.
Then we'll run through the gambit of how do we indoctrinate your womb baby.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
Indoctrination is pretty good.
I like that.
What's he talking about?
I don't know.
That's what he was talking about.
Cause now I'm kind of going,
you going,
why won't he say the word?
Yeah,
I don't know.
He's describing it,
but he won't say the word.
Like I'm trying to get into like this MK ultra kind of thing,
but like starting like real, like baby style. Yeah. Mortal kind of thing, but, like, starting, like, real, like, baby style.
Yeah.
Mortal Kombat Ultra.
It's the third one, but it's, like, the best iteration.
It's like when Sub-Zero has a mask and he doesn't have a mask,
and he's like that.
MKUltra.
Babies are loving this right now.
That's what I'm talking about.
He just activated some.
Uh-oh. Yep. He just activated some.
Uh-oh.
Yep.
They just put on Sub-Zero masks.
Yeah!
Now they're walking out of the room.
That's pretty good.
I'm Cyrax, the baby.
Okay.
Do you have a haiku?
Remember there was Liu Kang, and then there was like Kung Lao.
Was it Kung Lao?
Kung Lao was his cousin.
That was the guy with the hat, right? Yep.
Mortal Kombat lore.
And then there was Scorpion and Sub-Zero.
20-Minute Haiku might be a new record.
Hey, guess who I am?
Oh, cool.
Let's get this further.
Yep.
This is a treat.
Okay.
Who are you?
You're that.
Oh!
Doesn't he hide in the background or some shit?
I think so.
I thought you were going to pop up and go,
Toasty!
Oh, no, that guy is in the foreground.
Yeah, he's not in the background.
That is, he couldn't be more in the foreground.
He's on top of the action.
Well, there's a bunch.
There's Reptile, but then there's, like, the Smoke one, too, right?
Yeah, there's Smoke.
Oh, it's just Smoke.
There's Noob Sabot.
Oh, Noob Sabot?
Which is just...
If somebody's name's backwards, right?
Yeah, Boon Tobias backwards.
And people saw that and went, oh, this must be a character.
And they went, okay.
And so they made him a character.
There's Ermac.
I think he does-
Whose name is that backwards?
I don't think that's a name backwards.
Cyrax, Sektor.
Those are good robots.
Well, they're bad robots.
There's lots of robots.
Wasn't Sub-Zero,
one of them was bad,
but then became good?
Yeah, I think so.
There was some sons involved, right? Like Divzai and the son of- Yeah. And they a bunch of robots. Wasn't Sub-Zero, one of them was bad, but then became good? Yeah, I think so. There was some sons involved, right?
Like, I am the son of...
Yeah, and they got the double down.
Yeah, they got the double down.
15 years ago.
And Johnny Cage saying, come on down, get the double down, Johnny Cage.
Wow, dude.
And then he punched Goro nuts.
We're in the fucking nuts, dude.
It's weird that Goro has testicles like a human man.
He's got four of them.
Yeah.
Four fucking... That's right. One for each man. He's got four of them. Yeah. Four fucking, two sacks.
That's right.
One for each hand.
Two sacks, four balls.
That's not even in one place.
It's basic physiology.
It's like Goro classic double sack.
Yeah.
Like a double chin.
Are they side by side or are they front and back?
They're like top and bottom.
Oh.
I thought it was all one sack. No, it's more
like a rooster. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, sort of. Yeah.
Like the waddle. Yeah. That's how
Goro's testicles are. 22 minutes.
New record. Probably.
Yeah, don't look it up. Go ahead.
Alone
chicken breast. Double it
and pass it on.
Unlucky for us us that was good that's pretty good that was
a lone chicken breast made me go no and then he went check this out that's why that's why when
somebody has a haiku don't stop them after the first line so what you did was you're only a
third of the way there you You subverted our expectations.
Oh, wow.
Pretty interesting, huh?
Because I thought it was over.
Yeah.
And then you came back, and when it's not over, there's more, and it makes sense.
Right.
Just like Mortal Kombat 2, you subverted our expectations.
Just imagine if you cut that haiku in half.
Wouldn't make any sense.
Wouldn't make any sense.
Why would you do that?
Yeah, no, no.
That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
Hey, let's learn about KFC.
Hey, all right learn about KFC.
Hey, all right.
KFC facts.
Our previous KFC, which, by the way, it's not called Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore.
It hasn't been for a long time.
It's just KFC.
I said they went TGI Fridays.
Or is it just TGIFs now?
It doesn't even, I can't even say it.
Or just Fridays.
Right.
I think it's just Fridays. I think you're right.
They went KFC, right?
KFC did it first.
Yes.
And they were like, we'll do it too. We'll just say Fridays. I'll be honest. I don't have my finger on the pulse of Fridays. Right. I think they went KFC, right? KFC did it first. Yes. And they were like,
we'll do it too.
We'll just say Fridays.
I'll be honest.
I don't have my finger on the pulse.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure.
I know KFC did it first.
Uh,
our previous KFC episode was released June 21st,
2022,
where we ate the Jack Harlow meal.
It receives an average score of 61.
Yup.
That's crazy.
I saw Jack Harlow in a commercial.
Oh yeah.
Uh,
was he doing like Like a couple weeks ago
And I was like I know that guy
I know who that is
I ate his food
And I couldn't remember his name
I knew it was because I heard the name Jack Harlow
And I was just like
I know that
We just ate that food
And I realize now it was like 9 months ago
And my thing happened like a month ago
And I went we just ate that.
Like yesterday.
And now I'm fucking sad.
Rough trade.
Do you remember what the Jack Harlow meal was?
You gave it a 61, which you now told us again.
Uh-huh.
Right.
I remember it was bad.
No, 61 is a decent score.
I have no idea what it was.
I mean, you gave it, I think, high.
Right, yeah.
I probably gave it really low.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds huge.
Right, but also there was
a point in time where I was getting undercut.
Do you?
There was.
Who knows if it was. Do you remember what it was?
Yes, I had to look it up because
boy, I didn't. So no, you didn't.
Oh, no, no, no, I looked it up. I have it here.
The Jack Harlow meal,
the Jack Harlow meal,
which we did because it was KFC
and we just had done KFC
in a long time.
Like the fucking McDonald's meal
is the most regular bullshit.
It's so dumb.
And we got it.
They're doing it at McDonald's again.
There's a Cardi B.
And then people are like,
oh, you guys should get
the Cardi B offset meal.
Oh, it's offset.
Yeah.
You guys should get
the Cardi B offset meal.
And it's like,
this is a Big Mac and a soda. Also, it's Valentine's Day. You guys should eat the Cardi B offset meal. And it's like, this is a Big Mac and a soda.
Also, it's Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
Which is well fucking over.
And the bag says like, do you like me?
Yes or no?
Yeah.
When my wife orders McDonald's breakfast, it comes in that bag.
And it's like, this sucks.
Are you supposed to check it and give it back to the?
Yeah.
The DoorDash guy waits at the door.
I check it.
No.
Answer the fucking bag. I say no. And then I hand it back to him and he goes, all right, thanks. And heDash guy waits at the door. I check it. No. Answer the fucking bag.
I say no, and then I hand it back to him,
and he goes, all right, thanks.
And he takes off.
Here's the food.
Can you come back with the bag?
KFC spicy chicken sandwich, mac and cheese,
secret recipe fries, a side of ranch,
and a nice cold lemonade.
I feel like they didn't have the lemonade.
No, they did not.
Yeah, there was something we didn't do.
That's why I got a 61.
Yep.
Okay, so that was just the KFC meal did not yeah there was something we didn't get yeah that's why i got a 61 yep uh okay so that was just the kfc meal yeah it was just it was just here's a chicken sandwich a lot of jack harlow content out of it though there was yeah i mean we were
harlow heads for a minute yeah my fingers on the harlow verse i know what's going on now yeah yeah
what's he been up to what was that commercial I saw him about? Because I don't remember what it was. I just saw him. That's, you know.
I'm not in his commercial world.
Yeah, I only know about his books.
That's the extended universe.
I don't think he has any yet.
So I don't know anything.
But once he has one.
But when he does, I'll be right there.
I've been reading all of Jack Harlow's books.
Right there.
Well, all right.
On to maybe a real fact.
Okay.
There's only three.
No. There's five. five i mean the first two were
not real that's just remember the second one was a challenge it's two things that both just say
remember the last episode and he just says it twice like a double down um and now there's
three maybe facts uh-huh but some of them long. There might be some creative writing in here.
In 2019, a combination KFC and pizza created a KFC popcorn chicken pizza,
big gas for Nick, that was served with a side of gravy and covered with sweet corn.
This pizza was made in England, big surprise,
but not available in the wider UK and Northern Ireland,
which we think the cranberries should have written a song about.
I'm just saying it's the troubles and it's this occupation.
Is this why they didn't want a hard border so that they could get the.
Give us the popcorn chicken pizza. the lack of popcorn chicken pizza in northern
ireland is an affront to the good friday agreement kfc you've got me wrapped around your finger
do you have to let it linger think about it i think that was one of the lines in like zombie
yeah yeah yeah their tanks and their guns and their popcorn chicken pizza why is it covered
in sweet sometimes well it's served with a. Why is it covered in sweet corn?
Sometimes.
Well, it's served with a side.
Of gravy.
And covered with sweet corn.
So it's like,
but is the gravy covered with sweet corn? Or the pizza?
Yeah, that seems like you don't need to do that.
Don't blow.
Yeah, he was the one screaming about how,
ooh, so, ooh, love it.
But now he's being a toddler.
Yeah.
He's going, blech.
Well, that's when we're getting the baby demographic.
Let's get that baby.
a toddler.
He's going,
well,
that's what we're getting the baby
demographic.
You watching
Cocomelon yet?
Is it fucked up
how like the kids
hang out with animals
and they don't
really talk about it?
Like JJ
is riding the bus
next to a pig.
What?
They don't fucking
talk about it.
It's just little kids
and upright animals. We should start doing that little kids and... We should... Upright animals.
We should start doing that for Face Jam.
We should start riding the bus with the pig.
Oh, that's fine with me, dude.
Start doing animal stuff.
We have the monkey walking a pig.
Animal videos.
Have the monkey hanging out with a pig.
It's a good idea.
All right.
Oh, my life.
It's changing every day.
All right.
Let's do...
All right.
Oh, my life.
It's changing every day. All right.
A video from 2013 showed KFC employees repackaging four-day-old macaroni and cheese to be reheated and served the next day.
When asked for comment, KFC said that the behavior, quote, does not reflect our standards or food handling procedures, end quote.
But they also said that, yes, it did happen, and yes, it was
at a KFC, and that, quote, it
unfortunately resurfaces online
from time to time, end quote.
Yum.
KFC saying
this is appalling
and we would never abide
by this and it's terrible and it
absolutely did happen at a KFC
and we're trying to
make it stop. It does not reflect their
standards that they wish they had.
Just to be clear.
Well, they didn't specify what those
standards are, but it's not this.
According to the video, I know
exactly what they're doing.
They didn't say these things weren't happening. They just said they're not
about it as they rampantly
have been. And we will do nothing about it. In fact, they said
they are happening. Yeah. And we're not happy
about it. Yep. Continues to happen.
And unfortunately, I think the great part
is, and unfortunately this video keeps
coming up about a thing that happens.
I'm going to post it on our videos and get a bunch
of upvotes. I keep deleting it. I'm going to get to the top.
Where's the, who, what was the,
was the guy, Come Bucket, what was the guy's
name? Slime County. Slime County.
Yeah, that was it.
Slime County hit us with it.
Upvoted, baby.
I couldn't remember his name.
Come Bucket.
Slime County's pretty close, yeah.
And the final.
If you do post this, make sure you throw in some CGI hate.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's no CGI in this.
Yeah, we have.
In this video.
This is back when things were good 15 years ago.
Fucking hate Reddit.
Go ahead.
Damn.
In 2020, KFC made the KF Console or KFC Onsole.
Probably the first one.
A gaming console with a one terabyte hard drive,
chicken chamber,
and a ninth gen i9 Intel processor.
Although it has yet to be released,
there's a certain
monkey who, quote,
needs it for his Among Us streams
or else he, quote, can't make rent
this month. Subscribe now.
Was he in? Was he playing
in Glass Onion?
He was in that conference call.
Were you one of the people in the conference call?
I think I saw him in there.
He's in Poker Face too, right? If you look around enough in that conference call were you one of the people in the conference call he's in Poker Face too right if you look around enough
in that one episode
you gotta peel your eyes
you'll see him there
and there he is
among us monkey
it was this weird thing
they kept pushing of like it's a console
and the chicken goes in it
I had to does the chicken go in it or
does the chicken come out no no so it look it's like an air fryer but the air fryer part is just
a warming heat lamp so you put your so you already have to have the fried chicken yeah right you keep
it warm yeah sounds like it's just an xbox the way those things oh folks folks uh yeah a lot of
people call me the adam sessler of Space Jam.
Whoa!
That was you they were talking about?
I just assumed him just based on
out of five.
I had to look up
because I didn't know if this
console had come out. It's like,
hey, you're an influencer. Here's this fucking thing.
It's like the Xbox mini fridges.
It was like a real thing
I think that was made
there was a thing called cool master or cooler master
who was making it it never released
but in order to find out
that it never released like to know
definitively I had to go down
a youtube rabbit hole of like
dudes making
videos I found some
hidden files.
It is that shit.
And just the guys who,
this is not,
this was a fun social media thing.
And this is guys.
Eric,
I've never thought about it again.
And it,
like you said,
I remember when it came out,
I'm like,
is this like,
obviously it was a joke.
Yes.
But just because it's a joke doesn't mean they didn't make a couple.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Is like a bit.
Never thought about it again.
It blows my mind.
But some people need answers. You're now telling me I mean? It's like a bit. Never thought about it again. It blows my mind. But some people need answers.
You're now telling me about,
it's like,
all right, guys,
we got to give up on E.T. in the desert.
But have you heard about this new KFC console?
It is, guys.
I found one video
where a guy is showing his screen
and instead of,
you know,
like when you screen capture
and like you highlight text
and then talk over it.
He's doing that by,
it's him talking and then the camera flips and now it's all the text and everything but it's just pointing at
his monitor which i think is a tv and he's just scrolling and then pointing with his hand going
like look it says it right here it says it right here and then you get halfway through the video
and you're like why is this nine minutes long or whatever the whole back half of the video is him sitting in his chair like with
his arms folded going like here's all the reasons this is fucking stupid it is a gamer we shouldn't
support this shit and it's like all this rules something tells me something tells me he's a big
fan of last of us part two oh oh boy well i mean he at least has opinions about it he's a big fan of Last of Us Part II. Oh, boy.
Well, I mean, he at least has opinions about it.
He's never played it.
But, boy, check out this other video.
He loves the show.
Quit having episodes without the zombies.
The best part.
Give me zombies.
Well, they're infected.
Zombie show.
I want zombies in my zombie show.
If Ben Shapiro's not happy, I'm not happy.
Give me zombies.
When the zombies show up and it's like the big ones,
like from the video game, and you go,
oh, right out of, took me right out of this thing, huh?
Oh, wow, this is a TV show.
Should probably not be a video game.
I hate when they do that.
Yeah, we took this right from the game. Yeah, this is like great for a video game. I hate when they do that. Yeah, we took this right from the game.
Yeah, this is like great for a video game.
This is the mini boss.
Do you remember that Cowboy Bebop show?
Oh, yeah.
I did watch that.
Neither did I, but I think they tried to make it like the show.
It was real life.
I don't think it really worked out.
Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
It was what you're describing except in anime.
Yeah.
And it was just, it's anime about space travel. Nothing translates to real life quite like anime. Yeah. I think was just, it's an anime about space travel.
Nothing translates to real life.
It's quite like anime.
Yeah.
I think it's pretty one-to-one.
It's also something
if you are going to do,
at least do it on like
a non-Hollywood budget.
Well, I mean,
I have a big sweat drop
coming out of my head right now.
Why is your leg,
did you fall over
and your leg is twitching?
Oh, my leg is twitching.
I'm starting to think about getting mad
and you can see that little thing.
Oh, you're talking about that little inverted X thing
that I didn't draw.
Yeah.
The thing about anime and making it live action
is that the audience is so willing
to forgive any kind of misconception
or anything they got wrong from the original source material
because they're just so excited about the thing they like
that they're like, yes, please make this.
Take creative liberties with it.
Please.
Yes.
Please.
They want it to invoke the thing, not be the thing.
And it sounds like that's what KFC did with the Double Down.
That's exactly. Is that what we're talking did with the Double Down. That's exactly.
Is that what we're talking about?
Because everyone here says it's different.
And they more of invoke the Double Down, but they make it different.
This KFC Double Down.
The first version was anime.
Yes.
This is the live action remake.
This KFC Double Down is truly the Cowboy Bebop on Netflix.
It shouldn't have fast food meals.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
We finally found a way to describe it.
And that's why we have to go on these side tracks.
Nick ate the whole fucking thing.
Of course he ate the whole thing.
Both of them.
Well, his stomach hurts, but.
Okay.
And then.
He's got two fries left over at least.
Then he just.
What's that noise?
It's probably like a packet or something.
It's his empty sauce packet.
He held up. He held up his french fry box
and shook it like a can
with change in it.
To brag, I guess, that he ate his french fry.
He's a big boy.
And if you're a big boy, you eat
all your meal, too.
Oh, yeah. Back to the baby.
That is all the facts.
Not a lot of facts about the Double Down.
I was expecting some information about it.
No.
I wasn't.
Got exactly what I was expecting.
I just thought, based on how worried he was, he cared about the show.
Oh, well, I almost care about the show.
Are you bragging about your soda?
Oh, fuck.
All right, so is Nick.
Give me a second.
I threw mine away.
It was Mountain Dew.
My wife drinks Mountain Dew.
I do not.
It's too much. A true gamer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, she's a gamer girl.
You were the one that suggested it.
Yeah.
But why?
Because it's the most KFC thing to me.
What better to drink with our KFC Doubleday?
But then you just go, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Any soda we would have gotten, I don't like.
Oh, well then that's different.
Yeah.
The soda machine was also broken.
So here's the problem with KFC.
Maybe it was broken.
Fixed.
It was definitely on the more broken end.
We all got Mountain Dew, didn't we? Sounds like it worked. Uh-huh. I wasn't willing to test it.
Sounds like it worked.
I took a picture of the
soda machine.
It was filled to the absolute
brim. Absolute with soda?
No. You know where
the extra ice goes?
Yeah, the little
spillover reservoir.
Absolutely filled to the brim with just water
okay printed out piece of paper on it that says out of order the only thing it was missing was
being handwritten yes uh so we had to get sodas from the person at the counter that we ordered
from which was fine but what what went wrong there what What do you mean? Why was all the water there?
How does that happen?
I thought you meant what happened with the soda.
I went,
I don't know.
We got it.
No,
no,
no,
that was funny that you mentioned the Mountain Dew because we got to that
point basically where you said it didn't work.
So they had to give it to us.
So she asked,
what kind of soda do you want?
And he turned around and like almost annoyed.
You're like four Mountain Dews.
Yeah.
And I went,
okay.
And then you got them.
Yeah.
And then it comes down to like,
I hate Mountain Dew. annoyed you're like four mountain dews yeah went okay and then you got them yeah and then eric's wondering why that asshole made him get a mountain dew i mean like it to me it's the most
kfc drink like it's just i'll give it i'll give it that sure it's different yeah it's a it's a
pretty unique soda you like mountain dew or you don't yeah i just don't it's it's hard to be
middle ground on mountain dew. My wife drinks the tiny
bottles of it. Regular or diet?
Well, for her, they're regular sized
because she's so small.
For her, that's how big a soda is.
She holds it and it's like the big bottle.
She's like, whoa, look at this.
Well, when she holds a regular
bottle, it's like holding a two liter.
So, have you seen three liter
bottles? Okay, so we've been talking about this. have you seen three liter bottles okay but also quickly in this day and age now who the fuck needs a two liter bottle would you ever buy
two liter no i wouldn't i don't buy my entire goddamn life growing up was two liter soda
bottles all the time all the time oh it's cheaper but it's just like it's a fucking shit that's a
lot of so it's also a goddamn shit show and it's a race against time the second you open it and they're never goddamn
cold because they always sat in the basement like on a shelf or something i don't think i've bought
i like a liter or like a two liter bottle of soda in probably like six years and if i have
it's because my fucking mother was coming to town yeah to me that's a shit away from me it's a party
thing like if you have right if you
had people over when you were 13 or whatever then yeah your mom would buy a couple of it's just a
thing where like i grew up and it was not just a party thing it was how the soda was in my house
it was like we always had two liter bottles of coke if like the 12 packs were on sale we'd get
them yeah uh we uh it just dawned on me now going I've never done it in my adult life and I never want to.
I see liters or two liters and I go,
I see six.
And now they're doing, and it's carbonated.
So it's all just, and now there's three liters.
It's three liters, which just look.
You better blast that.
They look wrong.
They look like they've pushed the engineering of the bottle to its limit.
Well, it just looks like a two liter bottle that somebody left in the sun
and it got too big.
Well, two liter bottles are able to like, yeah, they're able to be like kind of like almost like the classic glass bottle shape.
Yeah.
Three liter ones are like, we just we got to fill it up.
It all has to be volume.
So it's all very bulbous.
It's like a PS5 with the hard drive in it.
Yeah.
Just fucking add a lump to the two liter.
Just put a lump on it. Just add a tumor to the side i just don't find i mean you said like you have to drink the three liter in a day because it will all the fizz is gone like the only way you
could buy that is like for a party that makes total sense it's like insane that's different
brain i want to see like opening a cooler and a barbecue or something and seeing two liters makes
total sense having them in your house is insane. Yeah, it is.
Because then you're just drinking.
What a commitment.
You're drinking soda all the time.
And as a kid, I would just be like, oh, it's time for a soda.
And I'd pour myself a glass of soda because we have it.
We have a two liter bottle.
We always had cans and bottles.
My parents drank so much fucking Pepsi when I was a kid.
All we had was cans and bottles and stuff.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I didn't drink soda.
Yeah.
Damn, dude.
Well.
Not even peepsie. I think, hey, should we spit silly? Probably sad. Yeah. Well, I mean, I didn't drink soda, so. Damn, dude. Well. Not even peepsie.
I think, hey, should we spit silly?
Probably not.
You know what?
I think we'll skip that segment.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, dude.
Hey, let's learn about the double.
It's going to be a light episode.
Yeah.
The iconic bunless sandwich features two of KFC's extra crispy 100% white meat fillets,
two slices of cheese, two pieces of crispy hickory smoked bacon
with either the Colonel's real mayo or spicy sauce.
So we got the spicy.
That's what made it spicy.
Yeah, of course.
It wasn't the chicken.
So they gave us the option of regular and spicy,
and I think we all went, yes, spicy.
Because, again, I think you talked about this
with, like, a cheeseburger is the default. And then without the cheese, a hamburger is, like, that should be, again, I think you talked about this with, like, a cheeseburger is the default.
And then without the cheeseburger, a hamburger is, like, that should be, like, the option.
You got to be a hamburger.
I think you're the odd man out if you're, like, a hamburger person.
No cheese, please.
Which is not that abnormal, but I would say you're, like, one out of four or one out of five.
To me, when you have a fast food thing that's a selection between, like, real mayo and spicy sauce,
I feel like spicy should be the default and i don't know that people agree with me but like i think spicy should be the default and then mayo is the other one because it's so
it's bland it's just so that's what sucks about hating mayo that's why i love the fucking spicy
pub so much too it's because there's all kinds of other shit on there that's not mayo yep so when i
get spicy chicken like it's gotta be good
because I don't get mayo.
Yep.
Right?
And I'll,
I can eat it without cheese,
but the cheese helps, like,
make it not bland.
Yep.
But that's why the pub's nice
with all that sauce.
Absolutely.
The crispy onions and shit.
Mustard and stuff.
Have you ever had that before?
The spicy pub?
Let me think.
I think they have it.
I think I had it once.
I think they still have it.
I think I had it once.
Really?
Because we've done it on the show twice.
Check the app. I don't know about... Well, we had the spicy twice. Some I think I had it once. I think I had it once. Really? Because we've done it on the show twice. Check the app.
I don't know about...
Well, we had the spicy twice.
Some of us have had it twice.
We've had the spicy twice.
How many times have you had it?
He just said he had it once.
I don't think he remembers the second time.
This guy doesn't.
Doesn't matter.
I've definitely had it twice because I had it once in between.
Wow!
He went to a fast food place outside of the show?
That's so exciting!
Wow he went to a fast food place outside of the show That's so exciting
The Double Down is one of the most
Buzz worthy fast food venue items
Ever said Nick Chavez
CMO KFC US
What?
That's literally how it's all typed out
Hang on this is a great line
After nearly a decade of people
Begging for it's return we're embracing
The chaos bringing back our most iconic iconic sandwich ever for just four weeks.
None of this makes any sense at all.
First of all, who is begging for it?
Two, how is it chaos?
And three, if it's the most iconic sandwich ever made, why are you taking it away?
Yeah.
None of it makes sense.
2014 was the last time that you could get this sandwich.
Wow.
Wow, dude.
That's a long time ago.
But also, way more recent than I thought.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I don't remember living here when it was.
Well, that's because the initial release was like 2008 or 2009.
They hit it.
That's when I had it.
They tried to hide it when you were moving.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was there for two years and they were still trying.
There's that year gap, right?
Where you go, how come this thing came out
and I never saw it? I moved that year.
It's like I've seen every fucking movie for like
15 years straight and then these movies.
What is it? The year I moved.
I was looking for a good movie.
I was looking for a good movie. I was looking for a double down.
There you go.
Makes sense.
Well, I can't wait until they bring it back in another decade.
Maybe next time it'll be eight years. Maybe next time it'll be eight years.
Maybe next time it'll be another
construction of chicken.
Maybe it'll be two. Yeah, do you think it'll be
flatter, rounder? I think it'll be two
chicken legs. Oh,
wow. That you're eating, yeah. And the bones in.
Yeah, bone in chicken legs
with some pickles and cheese in between.
Can you somehow put the toppings
in the chicken leg? You heard it. You hold it vertical. you somehow put the toppings in the chicken leg?
You hold it vertical.
Can you inject it into the chicken leg?
So wait, are you saying...
Well, kind of like you can fill a sausage.
Yeah.
You bite into the chicken and it's like,
oh, there's a pickle in here.
The next step would be...
Hollow out the bones.
Yeah.
So imagine having a drumstick,
but inside with the chicken is also the cheese
and the bacon and everything within one drumstick
and then you have a mobile double down.
Big time.
But it is just...
It's not even a double down.
Nick simply wrote the words chicken bone infusion
which makes me think he's ready to eat chicken bones.
It's also not going in the bone.
It's going in the meat, the part you're eating.
Jesus Christ.
I think he's going to give Nick Chavez, C-M-O-K-F-C-U-S, a run for his money.
And also.
They only got to change one word if he takes his spot.
Chicken bone infusion also sounds like a procedure he wants to get.
Yes.
Sign me up for chicken bone.
What does that say?
Suck the marrow.
Suck the marrow.
So he wants a chicken bone infusion.
So you can feel like we were on one page and he's on another page.
I don't know what happened.
I'm ready for him to scroll back down and say, I'll kill you.
It's still there.
It's still waiting.
It's ready and waiting.
It's just a gun emoji.
It's a windings.
That's a gun.
So I guess that's the double down what do you think jordan so as established
a little different than the one i had but there is a quality improvement okay that i noticed
especially with the chicken okay this chicken that they use for the buns i think is better and
more flavorful than what they had served up last time.
Unfortunately, it is still unwieldy.
Uh-oh.
It is a mess.
The cheese is so plasticky and shiny looking
that it made it look unappetizing.
And they put pickles in it.
Pickles were not part of the equation last time.
I was upset about that.
They made it into more of a classic chicken sandwich kind of thing.
And I just don't know
if that's the direction they should have gone with it.
So
the best way to eat it is to
take it apart immediately. Which is what
he did. And just eat the two fillets
if you're really hungry. And if you're not quite
as hungry, just eat one. And then you
took it apart and just ate two pieces
of chicken. Could be cheaper.
It's more economical. He's onto something. Yeah. You could make this big pieces of chicken could be cheaper it's more economical he's onto
something yeah you could make those big pieces if you go to costco uh-huh and you buy a 12 pack
right you can make six of these yourself at home it's true and then you can also take them apart
yeah but get a three liter you do have to put them together first yes you take them apart and
you eat one filet at a time when you've eaten filets, you've eaten one double down worth of a sandwich.
And then you open your three liter of Mountain Dew and you start chugging.
You got one day to finish this.
You can do the show at home.
I mean, you have less than a day.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know what shelf time is.
Yeah, by the time this comes out, the clock's ticking.
It's going up here and down for you.
Oh, no.
So, I'm going to give it a 53.
53?
I don't think I've ever
had this before.
Oh, wow.
You didn't have it
when it came out or anything?
No.
That's really surprising.
I don't think I ever had it.
And it's not even like,
oh, wow, yeah,
Michael's definitely had this.
Not just because it's slop,
but because it's
meme-worthy.
Yeah, it just felt like
a thing most people,
I feel like,
even if you don't go to KFC, it's like, I gotta try the weird chicken sandwich.
You know?
Crazy.
Huh.
When did it come out?
2008, I think.
2014 is like the last time it was available.
2008, I sure just didn't give a fuck.
You didn't move in 2008.
Yeah.
No, but I also wouldn't drive it anywhere.
But I'm not going to drive all the way to KFC for a double down, right?
Like, maybe if Denise brought one home for me, I would
have eaten it, but I definitely never ate one.
So I don't have the original to compare
it to, but I will agree, it's a fucking mess.
The chicken was good,
but also, it's not just a mess.
The fucking thing just does
not want to be eaten like a sandwich.
It's shaped like a fucking sandwich,
but there's so many damn
parts. I don't know if shape's the right word
to be honest
you're right assemble
because the way the chicken is shaped is like
it wants to poke you in the mouth
instead of being eaten
and here's the problem with that right
because not only does it poke you in the mouth
which is whatever it's Cap'n Crunch style
but when you take a bite
it doesn't break like a fucking chicken
like an actual patty.
Yeah, but it's like a filet where there's strips.
It goes willy-nilly.
Who knows where it's going to go?
So it's not a clean break.
And then you've got pickles and bacon.
And so it's like you take one bite and the food just goes in six different—it breaks in six different points.
And so you're just like even if you take a bite and just get what you can with your teeth, then like half the strip of bacon falls out.
And then the whole—and like you said, the fucking thing is a mess there's sauce everywhere
there's cheese everywhere
it made me angry
it's so fucking messy
I know but look I'm here for the experience
I get it
and yeah it's like chicken is messy
but if I were eating real chicken
like either a breast or a drumstick or whatever
it's like manageable
mess and I don't know
you know you know you're getting this like me bite this chicken
the meat comes off this was
random every time you bit it you didn't know where
it was gonna poke in the mouth because
again it's like triangular shape but it's also
like lumpy it's not flat
you didn't know if you when you pull it away
how much of it's gonna be like torn off
yes I mean that's like the torn that's where know when you pull it away how much of it is going to be torn off. Yes. I mean, that's what it is.
That's the torn.
That's what I'm like.
When you bite it, you only bite into it, and then you still have to tear it.
And it just pulls in different directions because it's a real piece of chicken, which is good.
It does taste good, but it's not comfortable to eat it.
The quality is way higher than what it used to be, which is weird.
It's really just a pain in the ass to eat, and it's messy as shit.
It tastes pretty good, but it's a fucking shit show.
I wouldn't want to eat this in the restaurant, let alone, you know, driving or anything.
Oh, imagine eating it driving.
It's impossible.
It's messier than it should be.
Yes.
I feel like even even holding a chicken on the outside, I guess that's like what you were saying.
Of course, it's, you know, it's messy holding a chicken.
Yeah.
But all the messy shit is still on the inside.
And it still gets all over me somehow
because the chicken's sliding all over the place.
They should have inverted the sandwich.
Yeah, cheese on the outside all over my fingers.
No, no, no.
Just put the bread in the middle instead.
Yeah.
So anyway, I mean, it was good,
but I wasn't happy eating it.
I'm going to be honest.
I wasn't happy eating it.
It would be, if someone said, said how was it my reaction would go
a fucking mess like the mess would outweigh it tastes good yeah if someone said how did it taste
i was like oh it was good but i think the mess outweighs the flavor i could just get a better
i just get a fucking sandwich at kfc that's not a mess i'm gonna give it
I'm going to give it 52.
Wow.
Undercut again.
52 and a half.
Unbelievable.
What did you give it?
53.
I don't want to talk about it.
I remember the first time when this came out.
It's happening again. Oh, no.
Harlowed.
I remember the first time getting this, and I lived in Anaheim and I ate in the backyard
with my friends, Frank and Aaron.
And it was fucking, we ate it outside in the backyard because it was so fucking messy.
You want to head out back?
Yeah.
It was just like.
Do you have like patio?
Yeah.
Do you have some type?
We're sitting in the grass.
We just, we just sat in the backyard and we ate the stuff and we went, well, raccoons will pick the pieces.
Whatever falls, falls.
Very weird.
Just a sandwich that I don't think needed to come back,
but I guess people needed a meme.
The strangest part of it to me is that they brought it back so different.
Yeah, and I will say that this is the thing that people probably tweeted at me
about the first time in a long time. Nope thing that people probably tweeted at me about.
You mean that Face Jam?
Nope.
Well, they tweeted at Face Jam also, but tagged me and they're like, hey, you should eat this.
And it's like, I haven't had to block and unlock people in a long time.
It's been a while since we've had people.
Well, you just got to teach them the lesson.
You get excited.
You're back to a high.
So if you tweeted that at me and then all of a sudden you're going like, I wonder if I follow Eric.
You don't.
You don't.
So,
thank you.
Don't tweet at me.
Are they allowed
to follow you again?
Oh yeah,
absolutely.
Yeah,
I don't mind.
And he'll probably forget
to block you.
He forgets.
I'm not going to block him again
unless they tweet at me.
It's fine,
follow me again.
He forgets,
but he doesn't forgive.
Oh,
I definitely don't forgive.
He is the most
forgiving person i know wow okay how come you went uh this is the sauce thing all over oh
okay snack time he offered the sauce when he said anything else
the guy said i could have any car on the lot that I wanted.
Did he?
Well, he asked if I needed help.
So I drove away.
Yes, I do need help.
I need a car.
Give me one.
Okay.
All right.
So nice of him.
I've been a loyal jammer for a while now.
Your fortnightly podcasts have made me remember to eat all the food through the torture of
law school.
Oh, wow.
Sam has sent in.
We got lawyers.
Yeah.
When you're so busy with law school, you forget about the important things in life.
Limited time fast food options.
Guilty.
Enjoy this crunchy deep fried wheat pasta.
Why?
You might not like it, but you definitely won't be able to stop eating it.
Can we sue him if we don't like it?
Absolutely.
That's liable as what it is.
Can we serve him?
You smell it first if you want.
Do you say that's liable or liable?
Liable.
Okay.
What does that smell like?
Chlorine?
Hmm.
I think it smells like a pool.
No.
It's slander if it's spoken.
Liable as printed.
If that's a pool, you're swimming in a dirty pool.
That's some old chlorine.
Chlorine makes my eyes bleed.
It has a hint of chlorine.
But not like fresh chlorine.
It has a hint like you should put more chlorine in your pool.
I'm not getting in there.
Crunchy deep fried pasta!
I don't know what it smells like to me.
I'll tell you what it tastes like.
Weird.
Bad. It does taste like tell you what it tastes like. Weird. Uh-huh. Bad.
It does taste like bad.
It tastes like barbecue.
It tastes like... It's 100% barbecue flavored something.
It kind of tastes like nothing, you know?
It's kind of just...
It's just like air crunch.
Yeah, it's raw pasta.
It is barbecue.
I can stop eating it.
Yeah.
You're going to jail, Sam.
It's not bad, though.
No, it's fine.
It's like nothing.
It's like a nothing air crunch.
This isn't really like a, oh, gross.
It's more like a, why? This is
like somebody's mom would
eat this at a soccer game. Yeah.
And it wouldn't be out of this
bag. It would be out of like
a Ziploc bag. Like she put her own
in a Ziploc bag. They're not going to the Liverpool games. They're not going to Liverpool
bringing this. I mean, they might. This is
probably what Brad eats before he plays.
Oh, he gets yoked.
Yeah.
Well, he's carbo-loading.
It's deep-fried pasta.
Yeah, yeah.
So what do you think?
Guy's evil.
Man, I don't know.
It's so inconsequential to my day.
It's truly not good and not bad.
50.
Right in the middle.
I think 50 is, yeah.
Yeah, I mean it truly is a
right down the middle snack. This is
the most middling snack I think we've ever
eaten. I kind of like the crunch though. The crunch is good
but imagine if the crunch had flavor.
They're fun to crunch on.
This is like you playing Mass Effect
and every choice going, okay
I guess. Yeah. And it's like at the end
it's like, what is it, Paragon or Renegade? Ren. Yeah. And it's like at the end, it's like, what is it, Paragon or?
Renegade.
Renegade.
And it's like, I'm this.
I'm crunchy Boston.
You're exactly where you started.
Right.
Everyone just goes like, I don't, you're not,
I'm not against you or for you.
Why are you?
What adventure did you go on?
Yeah, you didn't do my loyalty mission,
but you also didn't really hurt my feelings.
How do you have 150 hours in this game?
I've just been eating these crunchy pastas.
I've been driving around in the Mako or whatever.
I see a mountain, and I just go,
I go up it.
I go up it.
You know what I mean?
And then you know what?
You gotta get them resources.
Head back down.
50, I think, is a fair score.
Thanks, Sam. Enjoy law school or whatever. Yeah, I think, is a fair score. Thanks, Sam.
Enjoy law school
or whatever.
Yeah, enjoy flunking.
Because he's listening
to this so much
because he's such
a dedicated jammer.
That's right.
It's sad that he flunked,
but I'm happy
it was for us.
He could always end up
in the Face Jam food court.
That's not where
you probably want to go
from actual law school.
Yeah, I'm just saying.
That's not a trajectory
you want to be on. He's got options. He's got'm just saying. That's not a trajectory you want to be on.
He's got options.
He's got a safety net.
There's always a gutter you can sleep in.
You know what I mean?
There's like gut options.
These are Osem Bisley.
They're from Israel?
Oh.
That's the thing that I wanted to-
Is that a big snack in Israel?
What does it look like?
Stop hiding it from me.
That's what we ate already.
Yeah.
I thought you were pulling out another snack.
No, no.
I got excited and then you showed me the same thing. No, I wanted to get to the bottom of it. And it was silence, but it was just me being disappointed. That's what we ate already. Yeah. I thought you were pulling out another snack. No, no. I got excited and you showed me the same thing.
No, I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
And it was silence, but it was just me being disappointed.
I went, sorry.
Because I was like, I thought I was going to get a new tasty snack.
No, you can have the same.
You can have the same tasteless snack.
Tasteless and dry.
Yeah, it is pretty dry, yeah.
If you want to be like Sam, you can send us snacks.
You can go to law school.
And you can go to law school.
Send us snacks to Face Jam. Care of and you can go to law school send us snacks
to Face Jam
care of Eric Bedore
1901 East 51st Street
Austin, Texas
78723
can I make a special request
absolutely
I don't think I've ever done this
okay
I don't like to throw my
celebrity status around
but I'll do it now
yeah
I'm trying some new
like I'm just trying
different protein bars
and shit
okay
send me
if you have any like
cool
don't just send me shit you bought off the Okay. Send me, if you have any like cool,
don't just send me shit you bought off the shelf, but shit like this.
But if it's like a protein bar,
I don't know.
I don't know if they exist.
Like weird protein snacks.
Like a weird exercise.
You know what we should do?
We should find that.
Cause I've been buying a lot of like chocolate.
I have one that's like pretty good,
but like even good protein snacks,
they're not real snacks.
Yeah.
It's like,
I bought a little chocolate bar that has coconut in it.
And I'm like,
I like coconut.
It's like 14 grams of protein,
the little thing.
So I had it this morning and I've been into it and it's good,
but you,
your brain has to know you're eating protein food.
Yeah.
It's not like,
this doesn't taste like a candy bar.
There's a prep you gotta do.
Oh man,
this one's chewy.
And it's like,
I had to chew the candy bar for about 30 seconds. We should. Before I could eat it. It's work. And it's like, I had to chew the candy bar for about 30 seconds
before I could eat it.
And that's on the good scale.
I'm like, oh, this is good. I'm curious
if there's shit like that that people could send in.
We haven't done a snack attack in a long time.
That's all I'm saying. I'm getting big.
This is what I'm thinking. What if
it's that? What if it's Face Jam
gets big and we eat
we get all of-
It's big and red.
Oh, fuck.
And we eat, like we taste test all of like these different bars and protein snacks and stuff.
To let you know if you need them.
Yeah.
And if you'll get yoked doing it.
Yeah.
You probably will get yoked doing nothing else but eating these bars.
Yeah.
I bet that will happen.
Yeah.
All these calories and sugar.
We're broken. I'm huge. but eating these bars. Yeah, I bet that will happen. All these calories and sugar. The protein.
I'm huge.
I had four tubs of cottage cheese last night.
The protein.
So if you got ideas, you can send it in,
but I think I'm going to start putting that together.
I think that would be a fun livestream.
Yeah.
Face game gets big.
I mean, here's the thing.
I mean, you want to go nuts.
Face gym.
You do shakes, drinks.
Oh, interesting.
Dude, that's... We'll gain 19 pounds.
We'll put the monkey back on skates.
Okay, let's never put the monkey back on skates.
Let's put the monkey out with some weights.
Oh, okay.
There we go.
We'll make him do a workout the whole time.
Yeah, we'll spot him.
Well, I want him to do squats upside down like a monkey.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Hanging from a tree with his tail.
Goku style.
Goku style.
He's just like Goku.
He's been going around today.
Hey, the monkey rug is on sale now.
Oh, yeah.
Send us a picture of where you put Nick's face.
Dude, that's good.
The monkey rug is on sale.
Also, the butterfly fork and spoon went on sale.
Sold out.
Sold out.
Immediately.
Good job, gamers.
Thank you, gamers.
We told you it was going to happen, and it happened.
Now, you've got to buy these rugs.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, you have to.
Here's the thing about the monkey rug.
Not that the monkey rug didn't sell well, but those forks and spoons,
you can't top that.
The monkey rug rules and is plush.
It's not like an outdoor mat.
It's like a plush indoor mat.
Your cats will love it. Yes.
The fork and spoon as a set too,
definitely cooler.
Yeah.
The monkey rug,
definitely a more useful real life item.
It is soft as shit.
And it's soft.
It's fun.
It's good for a rompous room. And we're not just saying,
I mean,
we like it for real,
but also we'll get in trouble,
maybe move,
I don't know, 2,000, 3,000 rugs would be good.
Yeah, something like that.
So if you can just pick up a couple thousand rugs.
Buy about 10, 12 dozen rugs.
Just however many.
Don't overextend yourself, but extend yourself.
Extend.
Right.
Don't overextend.
Go two liter.
Leader, don't go three liter.
Yeah.
Find your limit on these rugs.
You know what I mean?
They're unlike eggs.
You can buy as many as you want at once.
There's no limit.
They might be cheaper than eggs at this point.
Yeah.
I mean, they're probably neck and neck with eggs.
So send a tweet at us, at Face Jam Pod.
Let us know where you put Nick's face.
You can send us a picture.
And you can say, hey, here's Nick's face.
Well, right in front of my fucking toilet.
Show us where you put Nick.
Yep.
Show us where you put Nick and that's it.
Yep.
Just show us where you put the fucking rug.
Yeah.
Don't show us what you're doing to it.
We don't want to know what's going on with the rug.
We don't want to see the rest of the room.
March 23rd, which is fucking tomorrow.
No, it's pretty soon.
Monkey League baseball shirt goes on sale.
Finally, just in time for the opening
day. Wait, I'm sorry. Wait, we haven't
sold that yet? It's just in time
for baseball. I feel like we've had that
waiting for like a year. But we just got it. Yeah, but I'm
not complaining. That's great.
Somehow I forgot that never came out. That
rules. Yeah.
I'm sorry.
That's the way this works.
He's been wearing it all day.
This is also like, what, a year ago, I would say?
Something like that.
Because we came up with this?
Yeah.
I'm shocked it didn't come out, and I'm glad.
He never knew it existed.
No, he had no idea.
It's been like a year or more.
I'm doing a live stream with Jeff from F*** Face, and we're doing a whole.
Oh, that guy.
Yeah.
Can I be in channel?
He wants to be in channel. What does that mean? He wants to be in the merch guy. Yeah. Can I be in channel? Can I be in channel? He wants to be in channel.
What does it mean?
What does that mean?
He wants to be in the merch channel.
Oh.
But.
Nah, it's fine.
Can't you just join yourself?
Isn't it fun when you get to see stuff like this?
Can't you just join yourself?
Do you even need an invite?
Doesn't it look like the ball's going to hit him?
I think it might be a private one.
I bet it's not.
Yeah, he's not even swinging.
Yeah.
Well, he's watching it.
Well, it's about to fucking hit him.
Yeah.
He ain't going to hit shit. Lean into it! Did you see the guy in
fucking skates?
What do you think he'd do playing baseball?
Well, now we can finally
do our baseball ideas. We can finally go to
the baseball game.
So this will be up until March 23rd.
I said, how do you think you're doing baseball?
He said, great, what are you talking about?
What the fuck was that? The tool senses.
Incredible.
Follow us on FaceJam, at FaceJamPod on Instagram, on Twitter.
Keep up to date with everything.
Spitting Silly is out next week.
Email FaceJamPod at RichardKeefe.com.
We did food conundrums.
Food courts have been fucking great.
And I will tease it right now.
I'll let you know.
Tease it?
We did do the split decision food court.
Yeah, we tried some of your weird shit.
Yeah, to see if we had a ruling.
Yeah, that'll be next week.
Let me tell you, there was some internal turmoil.
Oh, whether it could be done or not.
There was internal turmoil happening in the show.
Yeah.
Like externally.
Yeah.
Wow.
Internally and externally?
Outside of someone at the same time. What is is a hernia i think it's that that's when your intestines they dip
into somewhere oh yeah yeah they come on out yeah yeah like they come on out because there's one
there's one where you get like a bump in your gut yeah and then that's when you got you wear the
thing that literally just like flattens it yes uh but then there's also one where it can like dip
down into your sack. Yeah.
It's hurting Nick just thinking about it.
He's rolling around over there. So anyway, let's do that.
Okay. That's good.
You want to take us out, Jordan?
Rate and subscribe and tell a friend
about the show where we eat food and rate the food.
Sweet dreams, little baby.
That's the end of the show, Alarm.
No.
Now it's awake