100% Eat - Outback Steakhouse Sweet Heat Season Menu
Episode Date: August 1, 2023In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Outback Steakhouse Sweet Heat Season Menu so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Bloomologists, how many times they've b...een here, the vice president of people, and Graysie's love of Outback. Sponsored by us. You're welcome. Follow us @FaceJamPod on IG and Twitter. Subscribe to the youtube also. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it.
Hey, you probably do.
I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.
Jordan, how are you?
I was doing great until Eric played
a horrible rendition of the DK rap.
Donkey Kong!
I mean...
It opens with the guy in his car going,
hey guys, you remember this song?
It also says Donkey Kong song on the screen.
Yeah, but that could be any song.
There's more than one Donkey Kong song.
He starts doing the DK rap as if he were in Creed?
No, it's what it would sound like if it was Viking music.
Did that not come through clearly?
Is Creed Viking music?
I think so.
Oh, I hadn't considered that.
It must be.
If that's what Viking music is, because that's what I figured, right?
Yeah.
Why'd you bring that in here?
He made me yell.
That's why I yelled.
I was talking perfectly fine, and he's like, scream for me.
Part of a mic check.
I need it.
He didn't need it.
And speaking of screaming, let's get this out right at the top, because it was the most
exciting thing that happened to us today.
You're going to get this out before you can say what food?
Before we can say what we're doing on the episode.
So we were driving back from
Outback Steakhouse Sweet
Heat Season Menu.
Perfect. Perfectly
integrated. We're professionals.
Great work. Honestly, in under 90
seconds. That's faster than you think.
It's true.
Usually we meander a little bit here at the top, but I
really want to talk about what happened at the roundabout.
Which is not a meander somehow.
I want to stop fucking around and get to fucking around.
Let's get to what the show's about.
I want to fuck around about something very specifically.
So at the restaurant, we were talking about how everyone here in this city can't drive.
And we talked about the very specific roundabout near the office at like 51st
we called it by name yes yes that specific one and how would it first open nobody knew how to do it
nobody still knows how to how to use it and you gotta constantly go in the right lane which is
you know if you're like making a right or going straight but you were gonna go left but you gotta
go in the right lane because there's 14 cars in the left lane and they're just not doing it.
And you go, look, I'm driving around you. They're too afraid
to go into the roundabout. Once they get
in there, they're too afraid to know what they're doing.
There's too many lines. There's too many crisscrosses.
The plight of every American
driver basically is a roundabout. It's
their kryptonite. The roundabout into
parallel parking. And so
before we even got to the roundabout,
this specific one that kind of
splits where it's like you either go this way to go to the roundabout and the intersection or you
stay on the left and you go past the um the overpass that the the road is is is on and the
person in front of us didn't know what they wanted to do yeah and uh And I could tell, so I was just like slowing down,
giving them room.
So naturally, they slow down. This is less than 50 yards
from getting into the roundabout.
And people are already screwing it up.
Yeah.
Stopping on the frontage road.
There's pylons.
So there's a wall,
de facto wall that they're going to hit
if they don't make a decision.
You gotta stay left, go left, or every other lane of the way.
You have to choose one.
And they were in the left with their blinker on?
No.
No blinker on.
But they were thinking about blinkers.
You could just tell.
You could tell by the way they were.
Yes.
They were in the left lane, started getting slow.
You started getting slow.
And they're like, oh, this guy's getting slow.
I better get slower.
Right.
That way I'm ensuring I can't get in.
Right.
And so it just turned into this
slow off. And then they
finally committed. And as they committed,
they turned their blinker on, which I thought was nice.
I think as they committed is when our
screaming started. Yes.
Right. Still not out the roundabout.
Still not to the entrance of the roundabout.
But as Michael said, cars pile up in the left lane and they line up there and it just backs it up unnecessarily.
Because you can do any action you want from either lane in the roundabout.
Good design.
So I go into the right lane immediately and then we're waiting for like one car that could have gone but didn't, of course.
And then... In both the lanes, by the could have gone but didn't, of course. And then—
In both the lanes, by the way.
Right.
And Michael started screaming at them.
Yeah, because it was something we were talking about.
It's like nobody knows how the roundabout works.
It's one of those, like, you see a car pass, you go,
and you expect either A, the cars to move and pull out,
or another car, and it's just fucking tumbleweeds.
And after four seconds of no cars coming but no cars moving,
you just start going,
tumbleweeds. And after four seconds of no cars coming but no cars
moving, you just start going,
Ah!
So then the cars
finally go. And there's a gap for us to go
as well. So
to keep the traffic moving as the roundabout
is designed and intended to do.
Right. I go in
and then there's a car to our left
who wants
to exit the roundabout in the right lane.
Now, I know I said earlier that you can do everything from both lanes.
This is the one exception.
You have to be in the right lane to get out of here.
They also were pretty much past that exit point.
Yeah.
So what would you do?
Would you A, keep going around the roundabout, try again when it's clear, when you just do another lap?
Yeah.
B, scream, slam on your brakes, turn your blinker on and wait for an opening.
Right.
Those are only the two options, I guess.
They went with B.
Yeah, they did.
And then we started just, we didn't really say anything as much as we just screamed.
It was just four men screaming
as loud as they can
with the windows up.
It's not like we're doing it
like at them.
It's just
movie style too.
I'll say it was like
movie style scream.
Not like I'm being killed
but just
It was bad
for
as long as it lasted.
It was just long
a long time.
It was a lot of times to look around at everyone.
To no avail, I was signaling
just go around again.
Jordan was just waving.
I looked at the driver
and they were doing
looking over their shoulders
with the blinker on.
They were screaming.
How did they get into this mess?
It was incredible.
I just thought it was so perfectly set up
because we talked about it at the restaurant
and it's just so perfect.
We all knew what to do.
I was excited.
Michael was stoked that it was happening.
The scream really fired me up.
It's more screaming than I typically do.
I was definitely like a background scream. Yeah. The scream really fired me up. There's a lot of, it's more screaming than I typically do.
Yeah, I was definitely like a background scream.
Yeah.
It really is.
The industry term being Walla.
It was just Walla.
Yeah, we needed more.
Typically when we're screaming, it's words loudly at each other.
This was just a lot of human noise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just sort of outward. Michael described it as a shot from human noise. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Just sort of outward.
Michael described it as a shot from that 70 show.
It's a shot of the camera on the dashboard looking back at everyone in the car.
And then it felt so much like that.
I said, that feels like a shot from that 70 show.
And I don't watch that.
I've seen it.
But you can picture that.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
It probably exists Kel
shows up with something yeah oh Ashton Kutcher that's him that guy didn't that guy doing stuff
didn't that one guy like go to like jail like super jail like a lot he went to jail pretty
hard yeah he went to like jail jail yeah he didn't go to like little he went to jail that's jail. That's good though. I'm nodding in agreement.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, appreciate it.
So that was our drive.
The drive otherwise was uneventful.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah. How many more events
do you need? Right? Yeah, really, that's
one was enough. But really, there's always
something on these. I don't know why
every other time driving around town without the three of you in my car, it's fine.
I thought.
But for whatever reason, they come and find us when we're doing face checks.
Isn't that astrology?
Yeah.
That's astrology.
Cards are chasing us?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's tarot.
If a card falls out, then it's yours.
Are we the stars aligned?
Now, do they ever come alive?
Like card captor Sakura, do they come to alive? Like, Cardcaptor Sakura?
Do they come to life?
Do you get to catch them with, like, a big wand?
You have to capture the tarot cards.
Do you need a roller skate?
There's sort of a little stuffed animal guy.
I'm the little lion guy.
Yeah, you're the stuffed animal guy.
I'm flying around.
He gets big, though.
You'll never get big like that.
Yeah, no, he turns into an actual, like, cool guy.
Oh, that's cool.
That is me.
At some point.
But you'll never get to that level.
You're just a little stuffed animal going i'm gonna catch you somebody at rtx uh was like uh
hey um everyone's like oh he's like oh eric's little eric's little you're like a normal size
guy and i went yeah but like oh i'm little and i went can you explain right that's the thing
you're just smaller than anyone's feet.
Yeah.
It's just like, that's kind of just like the bit.
Right.
And they went, hmm.
All right.
Was this like a regular size person as well?
No, they were smaller than me.
Oh, that's why.
Oh, they were.
They thought I was going to be.
They thought I was going to come dunk on you.
They thought I was going to be like four, four.
Ant size.
Yeah.
Here comes little Eric.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
I thought the thing we were going to talk about today, like if there was nothing that Four, four? Ant size. Yeah. Here comes little Eric. Oh, okay, cool.
I thought the thing we were going to talk about today,
like if there was nothing that was happening in the car ride,
was how we got into the car and me and you knew where we were going, Jordan,
and Michael and Nick didn't?
Oh, did he not know either?
Nuh-uh.
Oh, that's pretty rare. That's weird.
That's incredibly rare.
Right.
That would actually say, I don't know that it's ever happened before.
No, but do you know what happened
instead was Gracie,
who's here, helping us with
some of the producing. Not both there then.
Is here now. Is here now.
Lurking.
Well, hold on. You didn't do a mic check.
Oh, that's right. He didn't make you do a mic check.
Do you need Gracie to scream one time?
Ah!
She would have been great in the car.
That was louder than all the times I've heard Gracie
talk.
When I told Gracie we were
going to Outback Steakhouse for lunch
on a call the other day,
her genuine reaction was, yes!
So excited.
So excited. I don't get that excited
for anywhere we go.
Especially not Outback Steakhouse.
You bottle it up
though. Yeah, I can tell.
Yeah, and then I layer it out. I mean, we sit down
and who goes Bloomin' Onion? Bloomin' Onion? This guy.
It's true. Yeah, I'm trying to get ahead
of the curve here. Yeah, that's how he
plays it. That's how he plays it.
Uh-oh, message incoming.
I know Nick's gonna want it, so I'll just
order a Bloomin' Onion for Nick. Nick is doing his Wile E. Coyote bit where he's holding up a sign that says Good Call. Oh, I know Nick's going to want it, so I'll just order a Bloomin' Onion for Nick.
Nick is doing his Wile E. Coyote bit where he's pulling up a sign that says,
Good call.
Yeah.
Cool.
So we did go to Outback Steakhouse and have the sweet heat season menu,
which offered a number of things.
And we essentially just went with the steak and chicken,
but it's more of like the hot honey.
Yes.
Hot honey is the star. It's basic.
It's like a sauce and some stuff.
It's basic Outback wares.
But they shit on it.
We already have this. Would you
like it with honey? Yeah. What do you want?
We're calling this a new menu. Yeah. What do you want?
Sweet, heat, seasoned,
layered all over. Yeah. And we went
with the steak and the chicken. Yeah.
Apparently, we got it day one.
They were pumped.
They were pumped about it.
Pumped and a little nervous about it.
I didn't think that they would bring up it all.
But they brought it up over and over
and came and talked to us about it over and over
about how, like, we've never made this before.
We were like the focus group.
It really was them going, we don't know what the fuck we're doing.
We don't know what this is. Maybe this was me. You guys can chime group. It really was them going, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. We don't know what this is.
Maybe this was me. You guys can chime in.
I will say, though, for
you know, we've
done many of these special
menu things in the restaurant
with a varying level of
reception from the people that work there.
You know, some it's like
over the top. The Cheetos. We got the
chef coming out, talking to us. He's like, I'm dying to try these top. The Cheetos. We got the chef coming out talking to us.
Where he's like, I'm dying to try
these things. And we're going, what the fuck?
This place actually felt like
they just are trying
to do their job right. They're trying to make
it good for you. They didn't seem like
they gave a shit because they really, really
wanted to try it. It seemed like they were
like, the waitress actually said
she's like, yeah,
what did she say?
Like we had a week off or I was off.
Yeah.
They were off for a week.
She came back and it was like,
here's the new menu.
They came in today and was like new menu.
Yeah.
And it just sounded like,
Oh,
you know,
we're kind of scrambling to make sure we can make this if people order it.
And that was new to me.
Yeah.
In our outings,
it felt like someone just trying to make sure they did their job right.
Right.
Effectively,
but also wasn't weird about it.
Which was totally different to the last time we went
to that Outback Steakhouse.
Where the
server asked us cat or gun.
Well,
we broke it down. We broke it down to cat.
My new toy or my new pet.
We didn't want to see the new toy. We all yelled pet, pet,
pet.
And then we saw a cat and then she said, and here's my new gun. And then she didn't want to see the new toy. We all yelled, pet, pet, pet. Please, please. And then we saw a cat, and then she said, and here's my new gun.
And then she didn't work there today.
We don't know if they're related, but probably they were.
Definitely.
You know who was related?
The bartender who came over and talked to us and our waitress.
Yeah, we found that out at the end.
It was a casual drop.
Yeah, Shyamalan-esque twist.
It was nice.
Yeah, you went, at the end we went, it was a casual drop yeah Shyamalan-esque twist it was nice yeah yeah you went
this at the end
we went
it was a sequel
they're married
oh it's all connected
we met them both
first and then
oh my god
those were two
different lives for me
and now they're one
cat or gun
or spouse
and we got spouse
this time
definitely got spouse
they said
the waitress was saying
that when we ordered this,
she's like, we don't,
like, this is the first time we're doing this new menu,
and she went back and put in, like, the order and everything,
and then came back and was like,
just so you guys know, it's going to be a little bit,
because no one who closed last night
did anything that we needed them to do
with this new menu to prepare it
so that we could fix it for you today.
So, it's going to be a little bit.
And it was like, oh, I mean, it's steak and chicken.
So I figured it was going to be a little bit anyway.
Yeah.
Okay.
But the first thing was the drink that was throwing them because, yeah.
This is the hot honey Rita, which is their margarita with the hot honey,
I guess, in it.
And they took a while to make.
And they also came out slow.
Well, they came out staggered.
Two at a time.
Two at a time.
Two, two, and then one.
Yeah.
So Gracie and Nick got one first.
Well, here's the thing.
I think Gracie and Michael got one first.
And Michael went, just give it to fucking him.
He wants it.
He said he wants it the most.
And he went, and he went.
And then started sucking it down. He went, oh, I would never. Oh, no. Don he wants it the most. And he went, and he went, and then started sucking it down.
He went, oh, I would never.
Oh, no.
Don't give it to me.
He drank the whole thing.
He made some feigned attempt.
Yeah.
He slurped it down.
Drank the whole thing.
Licking the bottom of the glass.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like a fucking anteater.
But then they, uh, they started coming out and they were, it like wasn't a bad drink,
but.
I know.
It was pretty good.
Not too spicy.
Very, very sweet.
And then the bartender came over
and he went hey i've never made this before was that good right right but again it wasn't like
he just came out and went was it was it awful was it good you know and it's like how did it turn
out i don't want to make it like that again if it was not yeah i made it five times and i was
fucking around um Thoughts?
I'll be honest they didn't send us any ingredients
I've just been putting shit in
Did it taste like it should?
It seemed like it was right though
Look we got plenty of time to get into the food
But we can talk about the drink because
I don't know that it tasted like a margarita
But boy
I didn't really want a margarita
At 11.30am It didn't seem margarita-y, but I was glad about that. I didn't really want a margarita. At 11.30 a.m.?
It didn't seem margarita-y at all in any way.
Except there was shit on the rim.
Which was cinnamon sugar.
Which I'm fine with.
Yeah.
Because I usually get sugar in my margaritas anyway.
Oh, nice.
But then, tummy.
Yeah.
Too much sugar.
Tough.
This was a very sweet drink.
A very sweet margarita.
But not sweet in a way where it's like, this tastes like triple sec.
Yeah. Or this tastes like sweet, like sour mix. It doesn't get not sweet in a way where it's like this tastes like triple sec. Yeah.
Or this tastes like sweet, like sour mix.
It doesn't get in like the ends of your tongue or in the corners of your jaw.
It was sweet like honey.
And linger.
Yeah.
It was.
It was nice.
And it just had a little bit of spice.
Like the first drink I took was like, whoa, that's pretty strong.
I think I could.
And then it got more mild after that.
I think I could drink 100 of them without stopping.
I don't think you should.
I don't think I should either, but that
is how it tasted.
It was
easy, easy, easy to drink.
I'm not a...
I'm very limited in my spice, right?
I like spicy chicken
sandwiches. My favorite thing. I feel like it's
the perfect blend of
the meat. If it's good
chicken, the meat is sort of
absorbing some of the spice
or at least you're you got the breading
and all the meat and you're not like burning
if it's just seasoned right
but so many times spice is like and put a jalapeno
on it and it's just a concentrated
bite of a spicy thing
not overall spicy and I feel like
a lot of drinks are like that where it's like
you got a perfectly blended drink and then we put hot shit
in it and it's kind of like, oh.
And everything's spicy now.
This had the fear of that.
Like Jordan said, you take one sip and you're like, oh, that's hot.
And then it's immediately gone.
Yeah.
Like gone.
Not even lingering.
And you're like, oh.
So it actually works as a flavor.
Uh-huh.
Right?
I feel like it's there and it's gone.
You're not going, fuck, now my mouth's hot.
Yeah, it's not a punishment.
It's a flavor.
Yeah.
It was nice
it uh i would not drink 100 of them though i like the way that he didn't say he would he said he
could i said i will and i will uh the way that people like you know you get like refills on
soda when you're at a restaurant i don't really drink soda but if they had refills on that thing
fucking well i mean they do have refills we, yeah, we'll just gotta pay for them.
We'll get annihilated.
He wooed and thumbs up.
We should go back.
We're not going,
we just left. My 99 more,
99 more.
Do we have to,
hey,
let me ask you this.
What are we gonna do
for Spittin' Silly?
Can we call it
Outback again?
Back out.
We're back.
Hey, we're back to tell you, you made those drinks terribly.
More please.
Oh, man.
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There was a lot to this menu. We'll get into the menu and all that stuff
but I think Jordan's prepared a haiku
for this episode.
Searing summer heat
while Australia
winters.
Got the wrong menu.
Which was
great because even the
waitress said
it's so much hot stuff, which tastes good,
but why in the middle of summer?
And then I replied, it's winter in Australia.
Yep, and I think that she,
you've helped her with this whole menu run.
She loves that.
Because that is what is going to happen.
She'd be like, it's sweet heat season down in Australia
where it's winter, so we're bringing it to you.
I feel like, again, going back to the caliber
of these employees, they'll never pitch that,
but that'll be their answer when asked.
Yes. You know what I mean?
Oh, because it's winter
and she's like, thank God.
It's just an out of that conversation.
And people go, wow!
Wow, she's right!
Very weird
Why is it winter there
Very
The idea of doing like a sweet
Like a hot honey
Like in summer of 2023
It seems a little late to the party
You are very late to this party
It's only fucking 99 today
No I didn't mean that it's like
It's hot outside
Wasn't hot honey a thing like two's hot outside. I mean, like, wasn't
hot honey a thing like two years ago?
Yeah, but this is hotter honey.
If we're getting
hotter, the honey's getting hotter. That's just logic.
Oh! Like a climate thing.
They're trying to bank on the 105
degree weather with
intense hot
honey. They're gonna call
it volcano hot.
Wow. And Taco Bell's going to sue them.
No! Do you see Taco Bell got the Taco
Tuesday thing? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they won. Yeah, what a fucking
surprise. The conglomerate. Wow, hey, guys,
what a win for the little guy. Good for them, dude.
They invented tacos. They have the right.
Guys, it should be for everyone, specifically
us. Yeah. I can't wait for for everyone, specifically us. I can't wait
for Taco Bell to trademark it.
I can't wait for the trademark and then us
to do that episode.
We absolutely are going to.
Taco Bell, Taco Tuesday, trademark menu.
We have to, whether we like it or not.
They'll probably offer a variety of tacos
in some form. On Tuesday.
It'd be great.
I want to say, that's the new thing, the volcano thing, the thing they brought back that we've been going on Tuesday. Chicken, maybe. It'd be great. Maybe. I want to say,
that's the new thing,
the volcano thing,
the thing they brought back that these guys
have been going on about.
It's terrible.
What?
It's just shit.
It sucks.
Oh, the thing where
Paris Hilton's pushing it
everywhere?
Paris Hilton's doing
volcano stuff?
I just keep seeing
her talk about it.
It's their normal
nacho cheese
and they just put shit in it.
I mean,
we live in,
especially Nick,
we live in Texas where real
queso is made.
And this is movie theater machine
nacho cheese. And they just put
a hot sauce in it. And he's like,
God, thank God.
God, my life was so miserable
without it. So unenriched with
my wife and child.
It's like getting fresh
meats and cheeses at a delicatessen,
but being like, but this Kraft single has a Kraft single with a hot thing in it.
They put drop of hot sauce on it.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
The Kraft single is what I know.
Don't get me wrong.
I absorbed it.
I wasn't going to not.
Right, of course.
But I'm just saying.
But you're not excited about it.
There's many things I'll have to immediately draw something to it.
Hang on. You can order
sauce on the side for a dollar.
Okay.
Doesn't change anything about what I'm saying.
Absolutely not. That doesn't change the quality
of it. Nothing.
But in Nick's mind, that made it
really good. You're not listening. It's
one dollar.
Right. You'd be stupid not
to, Michael. You'd be stupid not to Michael You'd be stupid not to
Mexican pizza's back
It's like oh that's a whole thing
I didn't have it it's a whole thing
This is like the non-joe cheese sauce
Scrunch wrap
Let's learn about Outback Steakhouse
Our previous Outback Steakhouse
Episode was released
December 7th, 2021
Where we ate the Espresso Butter Steak
It received an average score of 59
There was some chortles back there
I remember that one
I remember that one was like a very low score for me
Yeah
So 59 is pretty high
Yeah
Was it?
Do you remember the
It was a little too high
I don't remember it at all
Come on Do you remember the Es It was a little too high. I don't remember it at all. Come on.
Do you remember the espresso butter steak?
Like...
No.
It was just a steak with butter on top.
I remember eating it outside because it was the COVID times, and I remember it having
no flavor.
We ate it inside.
We ate it at the restaurant.
You're talking about...
Yeah, outside, inside.
You're talking about the previous one, which was the short rib.
Oh, you're right. The last time we went to Outback,
we ate there and it was cat or gun.
It's December 7th.
Hey, man, it all blurs together.
I just keep saying let's go back to his car.
Yeah, the top of it.
I don't want, no.
So yeah, 59 was not the one that I did love.
So maybe you mildly enjoyed this one.
Maybe that one was like a 30.
All right.
In 2016, Outback Steak was forced to pay employees $3 million.
Steak what?
To settle a class action lawsuit where employees were asked to, quote,
donate unpaid hours to the company in a practice referred to as Outback time.
What?
If the sauce monkey approaches you for a similar practice
that he refers to as monkey time,
contact the authorities and God himself.
Herself, please.
I wrote herself and I went, no,
I have to give Jordan an opportunity to say it.
Did you also write Outback State?
I wrote Outback State.
Yeah.
God can't save you, he says.
I will say.
Oh, my God.
Hang on.
Oh, no.
Gotta take a picture of that one.
Yeah, that's a real out of context one.
Awesome.
The fact that they're in context is what makes them funnier.
He could just write anything all willy-nilly, but I don't think we should let that pass.
What are the employees supposed to get out of Outback Time in this scenario?
What's the follow-up there?
They're donating to who?
The company.
But they're not even going to veil it as something?
Obviously, that's the end result.
The end result is you don't get paid, and the company likes that.
Two thumbs up.
Yes.
What do they get out of it?
How are they being enticed to do this?
I think if you're— calling it outback time i think if you're if you don't donate to outback time we're gonna take you out and it will be your time i think you're like 17 with a hole in the
ground i think if you're 17 there is a fear of getting taken out back to outback time and then
it turning into monkey time. And like,
it's not,
and then you got to call God him or herself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just think that,
I think that it's probably people getting tricked by managers.
Like it's not like out back steakhouse is saying,
Hey,
do this.
I think it's managers who are so dumb going like,
right,
just do it for free.
And right.
Well,
they're probably also being handed down a mandate as well. So it's good. It's just, it's like I said, right, just do it for free. Right. Well, they're probably also being handed down a mandate as well.
So it's just, it's like I said, man, it always goes straight to the top.
I don't know.
I don't know where the top is.
It's Eric here.
Everything's his fault.
Jordan keeps talking about how he's sure there's a top and it's going to the top.
I just don't know where the top is yet.
He's not. Nope. Don't point at me. Yeah. If this is the top, it's going to the top i just don't know where the top is yet he's not nope
don't point at me yeah if this is the top it's oh it's not good if it's the top we're short yeah
yeah for real normal regular size not normal uh in 2009 which i guess existed at some point
outback steakhouse was forced to pay $19 million
due to gender bias that
did not allow women the same
opportunities as men to elevate their position.
The suit also forced the company
to employ a human resources
executive, which they named the vice president
of people, a term used
loosely based on the caliber of people
working at the steakhouse. Also
a term used loosely.
Well, they could have gone vice president of mutants.
I think that's...
We're the people team.
You look around, you go, people, huh?
Do you think Pence would fit in there?
Do you think he would just kind of be there?
Not in the front row,
maybe not even in the second row,
but there.
He's a person.
Uh-huh.
This is also another,
I don't remember if this is
a conversation in the car or not.
It was.
Oh, it was definitely
on the way there.
Yep.
What's he doing?
Talking about Pence
and just going,
what are you?
We were talking about
the huge field
of Republican candidates
and then we remembered
Mike Pence exists.
But also,
but also it came up as
talking about Pence.
Long pause and Eric going, they were gonna
hang him.
That was the plan.
And now he's back asking for their vote.
And he's like, hey, vote for me.
What? They were going, they had
rope.
They had it. There were people
who were there and also the guy who
was president was like,
if it happens.
Mike Pence, that's a sacrifice I'm
willing to make.
And we also
said that in that
scenario, if they had done
it, Mike Pence would then be dead
and Donald Trump would still not be
president. So it would still not be president.
So it would be all for nothing.
I was talking about his head
and his hair. And it's far
from the worst. It's not like it's bad.
It's just so plain.
It's nothing.
His head looks like
Cisco's head
from the song when it's silver.
And then Jordan was like, it looks like a Lego piece.
Yeah, it does.
Exactly.
He could be a Lego guy.
He's just some Lego guy.
He's a Lego man, yeah.
He's just a Lego guy.
He's a guy in a suit, but not the first or second guy in a suit.
Just a guy in a suit.
And then you said he'd be president in a movie.
And I went, he wouldn't. And then I named everyone else be president in like a movie And I went he wouldn't
And then I named everyone else
That's been a president
And it's like they're a million times more of a person
He would be vice president
Because when have you ever seen a vice president
In a movie
So you don't see him at all
That is so funny
I love that
He wouldn't even be president in a movie
Oh man yeah he's to get the votes.
Yeah, dude. Way to go.
He's not going to make it to the debate.
He can't afford to.
Anyway, now that I'm woke.
In 2022, a lawsuit was brought against Outback Steakhouse.
Declaring.
How many of these are lawsuit-based?
This is the last one.
Let's see how he gets out of the next one.
Not being a lawsuit, but being real close.
In 2022, a lawsuit
was brought against Outback Steakhouse declaring
that male managers are paid more than
female managers for the same work. This
vice president of people didn't do
fucking shit.
Oh, no! Mike Pence! That's 13
years later! Mike Pence, everybody.
Dude, I mean, again, I'm not you not even talk sides you want to know who was like an embodiment of a vice president Cheney he was out there
shooting people in the face starting wars getting into it grappling I think
that's more than he he's surpassed vice president duties in that regard, though.
Like a vice president is someone you want, you know, just kind of doing stuff.
I'm just saying.
He was going above and beyond in his role, I think.
I think everyone knew that was going to happen.
Right.
And I think even he told George Bush that was going to happen.
I mean, look at what it did.
Who do you think gave him the pretzels?
Wow.
I told you, man. It goes all the way to the top. What? Who do you like? Look at what it did. Who do you think gave him the pretzels? Wow. Wow. I told you, man.
It goes all the way to the top.
Who do you, like, look at what it did for Joe Biden.
He put on sunglasses and now he's president.
It's true.
Because no one gave a fuck about that guy.
And then he was vice president.
He put on sunglasses and he said.
Dark Brandon.
Dark Brandon strikes again.
Dude, the dark Brandon shit is so fucking...
It's like so insane.
Honestly, I don't use this term lightly.
It's cringe.
I see it and I go, come on, guys.
It's Joe Biden.
Dark Brandon.
What are we doing?
Fucking got him again.
Take that, corn pot.
Okay, this is the last one.
Last fact.
That's not a lawsuit.
Not a lawsuit.
In 2018, an electrical contractor's van crashed through an Outback kitchen.
Kapow!
Injuring five workers.
When questioned, the driver of the van changed his story several times,
stating first that there was a mechanical issue,
then recanting and saying he lost consciousness.
We at Face Jam can't confirm what really happened,
but our inside sources, Nick, said that the driver was, quote,
fiending and going nutso for a blooming onion, end quote.
Crikey.
Again, this guy talking about the onion.
He doesn't give a shit about Outback and Outback Man.
He loves it.
That's all he talks about. He knows one thing. I'm a train. So we're going to get the onion, right? I'm just going to put that out of the way. We're going to about the onion. He doesn't give a shit about Outback and Outback Man. He loves it. That's all he talks about. He knows one thing. I'm a trained- So we're gonna get the onion right? I'm just gonna put that out of the way. We're gonna get the onion.
Let's just go ahead and get the onion out of the way. I know they're gonna want it. They won't stop talking about it!
How long is it gonna take do you think?
And then it comes out and he goes, alright we all have it and he like brings it closer to him and just starts eating it.
I could be wrong, but I think I watched the point at which Gracie was going to take another one,
realized how much she had
eaten, and was just like, what am I doing?
And stopped.
I was there and kept going.
And I went, oh, she tapped out.
That was another thing, too. They were so
goddamn good.
Our server was like, do you want me
to hold the bread? Because
then it's like, you know,
that's a lot of food. And I go,
if you give us bread, we will
eat it. Yeah, definitely don't bring us bread.
Do us a favor and don't do it.
I would have eaten so much of it. I didn't know it was
an option. Yeah. I didn't know we could withhold it.
Their bread is so good, too.
It's so good. It's always warm, too.
And they give you like a giant fucking
slab of like creamy butter. Oh, it's so good.
I will say I was a little upset when y'all turned it down.
That's the whole reason.
I just nodded along and I was like, we're good.
It's okay.
So was Nick, but he wasn't going to say anything.
Don't worry about it.
Sounds like Nick's going back later if you want to go back and get the bread.
Is he going to tell his wife, you know what would be good for dinner tonight?
We'll get another hot honey burrito.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Gracie Bingham did such a good job.
We should take her out to dinner.
They're going to go, oh, what have we got?
Gracie's here.
Oh, wow.
Oh, come on.
Oh, yeah, let's sit together.
Yeah, yeah.
The Bloomin' Onion came out, and Michael, I think, grabbed a piece,
and he went, this has to be so good for you.
It's got plenty of nutrition.
I mean, dude, it be so good for you. It's got plenty of nutrition in it.
I mean, dude, it was so fried and just greasy.
And covered in horseradish, and it was delicious.
It was so good.
It was so good.
Dude, I fucking love onions, man.
Oh, yeah.
I love onions.
It was, like, that's the thing you have to get.
The trained bloomologist in the back is working hard.
There was a lot of bloom talk.
I started eating, and I said, I feel like I'm wilting.
Eric has such high regard and respect for the Bloomologist.
He really does.
Well, I mean, they had to go to school.
They got to get a PhD to get that ologist on the end.
Here, you ready for a social clip?
Hey, what's the thin line flag for the Bloomologist that I can wake up and salute every day?
It has to be that brown color, right?
It's just like a black and white flag and then one thin line.
Eric, it's whatever you want.
Whatever you design.
What are you talking about?
Wake up. Salute. Salute the workers. whatever you want whatever you design what are you talking about right now is what salute
salute the workers not even tangible enough to meet you halfway
michael solas no i know what he's saying i don't know how we're gonna add to this
the thin line i think is the the if you took a high resolution photo bottom one if you take a high resolution photo
of uh like blooming onion and really zoom in and it just fills the line with like the crispy
greasiness that's the flag that i would wake up and salute okay yeah though that's they're braver
they're braver than every cop i've ever met the bloomologist do you think a cop could do
do you think a cop could make a
blooming onion? I don't. But I think
a Bloomologist could patrol the streets.
Well, yeah, the Bloomologists actually go to
school. Yeah, but then
who's going to be out there blooming?
Keep them in the kitchen where they're trained making magic
You're right. Oh, yeah, just got that you gonna you working on that flag
Shop that up. Yeah, maybe you could get the guy that printed Nick his sticker is to me
Do we ever talk about that even?
I don't think so. We talked about it on the RTX episode.
Because he was handing them out like, you know.
Well, the RTX episode was spitting silly.
It's true.
Right.
So if you haven't listened to that.
Those streams don't cross.
Yeah.
So we can talk about it here.
I'm just saying, there were stickers at RTX for brands and that like I didn't know about and then I was like whoa
My name's on a sticker. Yeah, Nick
Michael Nick had his own that a friend of his made for him that he would bring in a sandwich baggie and then hand to
People and say the first one's free
And it was just a sticker of his monkey head
He would say he came with yeah, and then he kept and he came with if he came with a grackle sticker at some point
Do that grackle sticker was awesome.
He might be able to make you that flag is all I'm saying.
Oh, cool.
If you can dream it, his friend can make it.
We're going to get so many Photoshop's of the American flag.
I'm fine.
Brown stripes.
Yeah, and I'll salute every single one of them.
I think it's great.
I'm a big fan of Bloomin' Onions.
I'm going to read about the menu now.
We know.
We fucking know.
All right, let's read about all the other foods we didn't get,
but you could get if you go here.
One of the things we didn't get was the hot honey fried shrimp,
hand-breaded shrimp in Bloomin' Onion spices.
Surprise, we didn't get it.
Cooked.
Sorry.
Cooked to golden perfection. He's making noises like, we didn't get it. Cooked to golden perfection.
He's making noises like
you said get whatever you want and then we all
just went for the steak. The same thing. He could have gotten
this.
We all put our paper down
at the same time
frustrated at Nick.
He wanted it and he said
but it didn't come with steak.
He's just literally going but I wanted everything.
Handbreaded
shrimp and bloomin' onion
spices cooked to a golden perfection
and served with a drizzle of hot honey
and spicy bloom sauce.
Finished with a topping of Fresno
chilies and comes with hot honey on the
side. That's it.
Oh, here come the rest.
It's a big menu. That's it. Oh, here come the rest. Oh, boy.
There's so many.
It's a big menu.
What's a Fresno chili?
It's the thing we ate.
The little chilies that were on it.
No, those look like Thai chilies to me.
Whoa.
I don't think they were Thai chilies.
I mean, hey, I don't know what a Thai chili is.
I don't know what a Fresno chili is, so I guess they could look alike.
Grilled chicken and hot honey fried shrimp.
We didn't get this either.
Seasoned chicken breast grilled and coated in barbecue sauce and served with hot honey
fried shrimp along with two choices of freshly made sides.
Why do the chicken and barbecue sauce?
Yeah, that doesn't sound...
You're already getting sweet with the fried shrimp.
Why not do...
That's just such a different tangy flavor.
Why not do like an acidic chicken?
You know, like a lime honey chicken or something? You know what I mean?
But just like, yeah, we put barbecue sauce on it.
That fucking sucks. Do you work in a kitchen?
That was awesome. Yeah, I'm a plumologist.
This is all out of here. I mean, you're not.
No, I'm just saying like, where's your
ologies? Because it'd be great
to be what was in there and what isn't.
But you're not at the top making these
hard decisions, okay?
Do we put barbecue sauce in there or not?
You'd crack under pressure.
You don't have what it takes.
Eric starts sweating and goes,
Outback time?
Unpaid hours?
Everyone clock out.
Everyone clock out now.
Clock out and keep working!
A sirloin and a hot honey fried chicken, center cut juicy sirloin in a hot honey fried chicken center cut juicy sirloin and a golden fried boneless
chicken breast served with a quick uh quick drizzle of spicy bloom sauce and hot honey
along with toppings of fresno chilies it is served with a choice of side and a steakhouse potato
is everyone specifying like with sides.
I'm pretty sure you'd get two sides with everything.
Yeah, because it's not.
We all got a potato though.
That's the one that we got.
And we should talk about this for just a second.
Not like all the food, whatever.
What the fuck was up with that potato?
Dude, all of them.
All of the potatoes.
Yeah, so we got that.
And then we just got baked potato
And broccoli
And all of us got that
Because we all got it medium rare
And we were all going to get the steak anyway
And I got it out of convenience
And it's what I was going to get
Maybe I would have got a different side
I didn't give a shit though
I didn't go oh shrimp
And then order the same thing everyone else would
But the fucking potato
Was like half the size of my head.
And it was every potato on the plate.
Every potato was big.
The way she shrugged it off and just kind of went,
oh, they're kind of big today.
Oh, the potatoes are big today.
The potatoes came in big.
And I'm going, hang on, what the fuck are you talking about?
And I just kept saying, this, like, this can't be good, right?
This has got to be radiation.
And the three of us, and I do mean the three of us
who are sitting there, going, and Nick goes, he's like,
it's fine.
He just literally
just like, no.
It's good. It's like three times
the size a potato should be. What size,
like, what would you equate it to?
It was like... A fucking,
like, almost a small gourd.
Yeah, like a squash.
It was almost squash size.
It was huge.
It really was like half the size of a football.
It was like.
Yeah, you described it.
It needed a tail and it could be a Nerf ball.
It really was like, it was obscene.
And I ate as much of it as I could.
And it still wasn't a lot of the potato.
I also didn't like it.
Well, yeah, there's nothing to it
and it stayed hot the whole time.
The cheese is fucking huge.
The cheese never melted.
No, the cheese and butter or whatever
did not melt in the potato,
but the potato was so hot the whole time.
I don't get it.
It's also like,
I prefer more of this shit.
If I'm gonna get it, I like mashed potatoes. If I'm gonna get a baked potato, you gotta give me the butter and the sour cream. I don't get it. It's also like, I prefer more of this shit. If I'm gonna get it,
I like mashed potatoes. If I'm gonna get a baked potato,
you gotta give me the butter and the sour cream. Yes.
Whopping on there. I like more, and the cheese,
I like more than usual anyway, because I'm a fiend.
That had a fine amount
for a normal fucking potato. Yes, I agree
with that. So it was like this giant
mountain, and within like three or
four forks, I'm like, well, everything else is
gone. It's just a potato
now. I'm not eating this.
It's like a kickball.
It was so...
It was so fucking
big. It really, like the
amount of real estate it took up on
the plate was like
too much. I had like a nice amount
Compared to an 8 ounce
steak. Yes. And I don't know
how big the chicken was. The chicken was smaller than the
steak. But I'm like, look at this!
These are the
protein like meat items and it's fucking
towering over them. It should not have
been. It made the steak and the chicken
look so fucking small.
It did. It really did. It's not like they were big
to begin with, but it was like a fine amount of food.
Like, nothing was wrong with it.
The potato just dwarfed it in a way where you're like,
I feel like I might be getting ripped off right here.
It looked like someone's batch at like a big food growing contest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These are my menstruators.
Would they bring like a giant pumpkin?
Yeah, the world's biggest pumpkin.
It looked like maybe it wouldn't win
but it'd be like
an honorable mention
it's like
and then old Pete
made this
that was a big old potato
from Pete
good job Pete
he usually fucking sucks
they were just
it was
it was unreal
it's absolutely worth mentioning
if you go and get this
if you're one of those
weird jammers
are your potatoes also big?
yeah
if you're one of those
weird jammers
who like goes and gets this
can you let us know the size of your potato?
Take a quick potato pic and send it to us at FaceJamPod.
My comparison was like,
it looks like what made the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
It did, yes.
They put the ooze on the potatoes.
Which is great because it was the size of a small turtle.
It was.
It was so big.
I would say it was probably almost a small tortoise.
It really was a small tortoise.
Yeah.
Because turtles can be tiny.
They can.
But this was small tortoise.
I don't want to.
She's finding Nemo.
No matter what we've done here today, I don't want to undersell the size of these potatoes.
Not just one.
Every one of them.
All of them.
All of them.
Something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
Enough that it made the waitress remark about the size of the potato.
And she called me out.
Someone told her, like,
you gotta bring it up before they do, but then
just play it off cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say it's fine.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
Like, would you take these out? Just play it off.
I kept chewing them, they're so big, and I was like, am I
sharing microchips? Yeah. Because it
turns out they're not that small, so they just needed
a giant fucking potato to put them in.
She kept saying, no,
those are bacon bits.
Jordan, let's keep learning
about the food.
There's still so much.
Yep.
I forgot.
Filet and snow crab.
Half pound snow crab legs
served with a six ounce
beef filet
and your choice of
steakhouse potato and a side.
Also available with a full pound
of snow crab legs
in two sides.
So ditch the steak
and go full on crab.
Nick, is that something
you wanted to get?
Yeah. Jesus. Did you also want this? The wedge salad?
A wedge of iceberg lettuce
with toppings of red onions, bacon,
homemade blue cheese dressing.
And tomatoes
served with a quick drizzle of balsamic glaze.
I will say
that the wedge salad is part
of this new menu, but
they had like separate like flair for it on their website and stuff
where it's like, check it out.
It's the hot honey season menu, whatever.
And then the next thing would go and it'd be like,
and our wedge salad is back.
And it's like, who the fuck?
Whoa.
Who, who?
Kind of just getting lumped in with this.
Yeah.
Like mom can eat a steak too.
She doesn't have to get a wedge salad.
Like, come on.
What the fuck?
Tim Tam Sundae.
Yeah.
Vanilla ice cream coated in crumbles of Tim Tam cookies
and served with a drizzle of caramel and chocolate sauce.
Comes with toppings of whipped cream, honey caramel popcorn, and Tim Tam cookies.
I will say, this is almost what we got.
Yeah, no mention of strawberries in this.
Strawberries anywhere in that. There were so many. And our thing had a lot of strawberries. Strawberries? Anywhere in that.
There were so many.
And our thing had a lot of strawberries.
It did, yeah.
We were also aware we weren't going to get this.
I had to clarify over and over.
Not the other one.
Day one, you wound up with some extra strawberries.
Okay?
They're working out the kinks.
But I just don't know where the guy was looking
where it said strawberries.
You don't have his material.
Maybe there was nothing. He's just free't know where the guy was looking where it said strawberries. You don't have his material. Maybe there was nothing.
He's just freewheeling it.
Maybe, dude. He said throw a fucking Tim Tam on top of the ice cream. The Tim Tam sundae is what
I was most excited about because I love those
cookies and I
was only ready to be disappointed. Yeah.
But I thought it was pretty good. Yeah.
The idea that they put
caramel popcorn on the sundae
is the craziest fucking thing.
And it just is the worst part of it.
It is.
Absolutely.
I was like, I avoided it with the first bite, and then I went in for it, and it's just,
it's soggy.
It's just all the popcorn.
I tried to just do one bite, so I got a massive spoon.
I dug around for like nine seconds before I pulled the spoon out, and I think I got
it all.
And the caramel popcorn definitely stands out
amongst the textures.
For what reason,
I don't know.
Yeah.
Just to stand out.
There's nothing Australian about it,
you know?
It was very weird.
Nick went for a bite
and he got nothing but whipped cream.
Oh, his first bite.
I think I missed the ice cream.
Yeah, he just kept going,
whipped cream.
And finally,
the last one.
The hot honey Rita.
Three citrus juices with hot honey Cointreau
Cointreau
And
Sousa
Sousa gold tequila
Served along with a
Cinnamon sugar rim
You got the help
Michael helped too
Served along really through me
It's like what?
It's right next to the cinnamon rim
It served along with
They needed one more word
I want to know what the citrus juices were
Well guess what they don't want you to know
That's why there was three of them get out
That's all you need to know
These are citrus
That's what took so long he had to figure out the right balance of all three
So we talked about this already
But man
It hit me quick
And I got tired
Oh yeah
From the
Just like
The Rita
Cause we
We waited a bit
Like you said
The Rita's came out
And the food came out
And I just like
Got it out of the way
Yeah
Slurped it down
And I was like
A little bit sleepy
I was a little bit
A little bit Falling asleep Yep It's a A little bit of. I was a little bit falling asleep.
Yep.
It's a little bit
of a punch to them.
I'm telling you
a hundred might be too many.
No.
You'll be sleeping
after three.
You'll be sleeping forever
after four or five.
Little guy,
tiny guy like that.
Normal size man.
When you make
a margarita
and use Cointreau
instead of like
triple sec.
Now we're talking. It's just it's a stronger proof Cointreauita and use Cointreau instead of like triple sec now we're talking
it's just
it's a
it's a stronger
proof
Cointreau
alcohol
Cointreau
yeah Cointreau
it's a stronger
I've never seen that word before
really
yeah
and it's not like
one of those words
like hyperbole
where it's like
oh I've read it
but I've just not heard it pronounced
first time I'm hearing this
I can't imagine
that you're reading
a lot of stuff
that says Cointreau in it
that would be cool though where's the Q though what's you're reading a lot of stuff that says Cointreau in it.
That would be cool, though. Where's the Q, though?
What's up with that?
Yeah.
Why does it look like Cointreau?
Yeah.
That's a great question.
I don't know.
It looks like coin and then Justin Trudeau's name.
Like they didn't finish Justin Trudeau's name.
That's what happened.
Anywho, here's the press material.
It's way shorter than everything.
Yeah, it is.
You can just blow right through this.
I couldn't do two.
We're excited to offer guests a diverse menu that complements the summer season says becky boyd
director of menu innovation and strategy at bloomin brands yep oh boy given outback's
signature bold flavors the swicy trend is a natural fit for us and appeals to all our guests
because of its balanced flavor profile.
Now, is this actually about the food we ate?
Yes.
They don't mention it by name.
No, but Swayze is what you're getting.
So they kind of blew up the whole it's winter in Australia strategy.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, I don't think they're using.
It compliments it.
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, I don't think they're using that term correctly
because it only adds to it.
It does not compliment it.
You know when you got chocolate
and you get more chocolate?
Right.
What a beautiful compliment.
Oh, this chocolate really compliments the chocolate.
Hey, you hot as fuck?
Here's some fire.
What does that do for you?
I don't think they really know what they're doing.
And that's Outback.
It felt like a bit of an excursion today. Today was a... And that's That's Outback It was
It felt like a bit of an excursion today
Today was
It's also the start of a long day
It was a high energy one
Yeah
It grew out
Yeah
Except for the short time I got sleepy
Right
But then I bounced back
Well the roundabout really brought you back
Your level's back up
I mean
Screaming in a car
Fortunately we took our time
So it was
I got through that
That's true
And then you know We had some 40,000 grams of sugar at the end One spoonful No, I mean, fortunately, we took our time. So it was, I got through that.
And then, you know, we had some 40,000 grams of sugar at the end.
One spoonful.
Oh, ice cream and whipped cream.
You only have one bite, though, so you're fine.
Yeah, I'm good.
Oh, caramel popcorn in there, too.
I see.
One bite.
Uh-huh.
Normal, normal.
What did you guys think of the food?
So this is our third trip here.
Yes.
And I got to say, it's probably the best one.
Wow.
I think it's the... Nick is applauding.
I'm just letting you know.
Which means nothing.
Yeah.
Right, yeah.
He's always doing that.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
We've had some duds on Outback outback so i was uh i was uh pleased and pleasantly surprised and um
thought the thought the chicken was good and the uh the steak usually my problem with steaks
at restaurants is they just it's meat and they don't season it or anything
mine was like seared weirdly like it had like a black a black crust on it but you know what it didn't
really affect it that much i think it still tasted good and um baked potato aside and stuff i don't
think it needed to be hot honey but uh it was fine you know uh no real complaints i like the
the rita as well so i'm gonna give it a 76. Wow.
It's very high.
Wow, that is an outback steakhouse.
Yeah, I was thinking, I thought we were getting a patented Jordan 62 right there,
which is, I mean, like a B plus when Jordan gives a score.
Who knows what the shrimp tastes like?
Yeah, Nick doesn't.
Could have plummeted it.
Yeah, could have been terrible.
Nick will let us know after he has it.
We'll get an 11.30 p.m. text message.
Shrimp was good.
And him clapping.
Yeah.
What do you think, Michael?
I have to pretty much agree.
You know, of the monster that I am and the garbage I enjoy,
I do also enjoy some high-quality steaks.
I'm a steak person.
It's true.
You treat yourself.
I treat myself. Now, the steak, it's's true. You treat yourself. I treat myself.
Now this steak, it's not that and will never be that.
If you're going to Outback Steakhouse. Two dollars to get two more ounces. Two dollars to get two more.
You'd be a full not to. Suspicious
honestly.
But if you set your standards,
if you know you're going to Outback, I mean this was right in there
with it was cooked well.
That's more of a case by case basis.
But it was prepared well. Like mean, that's more of a case-by-case basis, but it was prepared well.
Like you said, everything was seasoned.
I thought the shit they added complimented it,
at least as far as the hot honey and stuff.
It made sense.
It wasn't one of those, why is this here?
It makes sense on the chicken for sure.
Now, they do give you the little side of honey.
True, they give you the side.
Gracie and I did try one bite with the steak
just to see if we could incorporate it into the theme.
It did not work.
I ate it with everything.
I just sucked it down.
You did some broccoli honey?
Honestly, that chicken, I mean, it was all pretty good.
The chicken was really good.
Yeah, I was impressed by it.
I think the chicken was probably better than the steak if, like, you're going to order one or the other.
The Fresno chilies are also really spicy.
I avoided one, and then I saved the other one for the last bite,
and spiciest bite by far.
I'm going to have to say, and I already said the drink,
I'm not going to order spicy drinks,
but that was probably the best spicy drink I've ever had,
where I went, oh, this actually tastes good,
and it's not just real hot.
I'm going to have to give it 84.
Wow.
That's pretty good.
That's an average score of 80. That is 80. Dang.
That's pretty high. 4 out of 5? I mean,
again, we're talking about
Outback Steakhouse here.
If there were some sort of scaling, it could be
100.
Depending on what you're comparing it to. There's definitely
some sort of internal bias
that is keeping it down. If you're listening to
this and you factually know
Outback is the nicest restaurant you will ever go to,
this might as well be 100.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Grading on a curve in that way?
Right.
Grading on no better restaurant than Outback,
unless Outback does better, I think it's the best you're going to get.
If you live in a town where Outback is the best restaurant,
this is 100.
Go now.
Go now.
Run.
Don't walk.
Try and all get the shrimp.
It was about 20,
I think it was like 26 bucks
if you got the eight ounce with the chicken.
And then the margarita is what?
Another like 10.
And then the...
It's expensive.
Yeah.
And then the blue onion,
which you need to get.
Thanks, man.
Only 10, which is not that expensive.
Only 10, $9.99.
And then the Tim Tam, I would say you could stay away from the Tim Tam dessert. Stay away? I don't think you need to get only 10 which is not that expensive only 10, $9.99 and then the Tim Tam
I would say you could stay away
from the Tim Tam dessert
stay away?
I don't think you need it
I don't think you need it
for five people
here's the thing
for five people
we didn't finish it
and it's not like it's that big
right
it was just
here's the other thing too
I also refused to take more than one bite
because it was five people
and I made that pretty clear
I'd say you said
I'm taking one bite
definitely worth splitting
then I started talking
about COVID tests.
Oh no,
definitely split that.
I think the steak was
really well seasoned.
Yeah.
It like was not bad.
Surprisingly for me.
It was medium rare?
It was medium rare.
It was.
It was.
It was very small
and very much a
this is not
It's the closest
they can get to
without saying it's dry.
It wasn't dry.
No.
And it had seasoning
but I went...
But it was almost dry and it almost didn't taste like anything.
Walking that line.
Again.
It's an 80, but it's an Outback 80.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
But I would never not just go to Rudy's.
Yep.
Yeah.
It's right there.
Frisky, please.
Yes.
Snack attack.
At Rudy's? I didn't know what to expect. Yes. Snack attack. Oh.
At Rudy's?
I didn't know what to expect from these.
Oh, fuck.
But they're one of my favorite chips now.
Hope you guys enjoy it.
From H.
If they were from Australia, it'd be H.
Whoa.
These are... Good ASMR.
Honey butter chip.
Whoa, what a pairing.
Wow.
So, we wanted to do a little honey, honey, honey kind of thing. Oh, butter, chip. Whoa, what a pairing. Wow. So, we wanted to do a little honey, honey, honey kind of thing.
Uh, honey, honey.
Don't say, we're going to get copyright.
See, like, that's like a pairing, not a compliment.
Because we just ate honey.
Right.
We're pairing honey with more honey.
We're not complimenting our honey with more honey.
Right.
I said it, and then I went, wait, is that what we just talked about?
And then I feel pretty confident pairing was a proper word.
That's synergy, what he's done here.
Yeah.
Cheaps?
Put them on my paper.
You said cheaps, and I know you're talking about chips,
but my brain thought peeps, and I looked at him and went,
that's not peeps.
Butter. Yeah.
Fucking butter. No kidding.
Michael, I made...
We made the same face. We both went...
Tastes like a buttered pretzel
Butter
That's crazy
Put this flavor on anything other than a chip, please
Oh, it's just
I don't like it in the chip form
It's like I'm just eating butter
It's like you cut
Butter into a chip
Like a chip form factor
And then you are simply eating it.
It's not even honey.
It's just butter.
There's no honey.
No honey.
It's all butter.
That's the butteriest thing I've ever eaten.
My tongue is coated in butter.
What's making me almost a little bit repulsed isn't the chip.
It's thinking that I'm eating a whole thing of butter.
Yes, like just taking a bite of butter.
Yeah.
Crunchy butter crutter.
Okay, that was a Nick.
Thank you, Nick.
You guys want to eat some crutter chips?
I'm going to get a picture.
Yeah, I got a chip.
It's so weird.
I don't want more.
It's so strong.
I'm going to try another one.
It's like it's not bad, but like why is it a butter chip?
Dude, the bag is, you got the classic chips.
It's just like your classic, you know, yellow chip.
Looks harmless.
And then it's got, you know, your little honey stick.
There we love to have.
And there's a bee going, hey, you need me.
Don't kill me.
Be healthy.
And then there's giant fucking cuts, cubes of butter.
Yeah.
And I feel like that's just like
We're not kidding around
If this is real there might also be a bee in the bag
Oh buzz buzz
This is literally how much butter we used
Per chip
It's strong
One bee per chip and one stick of butter per chip
It made 100%
Made of 100% potato
Wow I think it's less potato now with the butter butter per chip. It made 100% made of 100% potato.
Wow.
I think it's less potato now with the butter. I really do think that they figured
out a way to just cut butter off a block
and feed it to you. It's crack-like. I'm eating
it now because I'm being
forced to. I have to stop. Right, forced to.
He grabbed the bag.
Forced by my own biology.
Weird. But it's just butter.
I can see getting real sick of this about 10 chips in.
Oh, yeah.
Like, it's one of those things where...
You gotta be a butter fiend.
As I'm chewing it, I'm just like...
It reminds me of the first time I tried alligator.
Oh, yeah.
Where it's like, whoa, this is not that bad.
And then you think about what it is you're actually eating.
And you're like, I'm still chewing it.
Oh, God, this is weird.
So much thicker than it is.
Yes.
Very thick.
It's extremely thin and it feels,
it's brain thick.
Uh,
I'm fine.
I'm giving it like a 34.
Don't like the experience.
What you've done here.
You've pulled it off.
If you're like,
I need butter.
I don't agree.
You need honey.
I mean,
this is just butter chip.
Okay.
I mean, I will say, I'm with Jordan.
I'm just ignoring the honey part.
You fucked that part up.
You fucked that part up.
Just say it's a butter chip, and then you made that exactly.
Now, I don't want that, but there might be people that do.
I'm going to give it 50, just right down the line.
Sure.
Far more has repulsed me.
42 is the average score.
So strange.
I can't imagine
I would say if you got like 10
people, I would think more than half wouldn't like this.
I would agree
with that. I think you'd get 3 or 4
that would go, I like it. I also
like butter. Larry's gonna
fucking go nuts for this.
You gonna like butter chip? I think he's gonna love butter chip.
I think Larry surprises
us sometimes. He does sometimes. I think Larry looks like a gremlin I think he's going to love Butter Chip. I think Larry surprises us sometimes. He does sometimes.
I think Larry looks like a gremlin, but
he's got some
standards. I've been surprised by
a take from him once or twice.
I think he's just sometimes an odd gremlin
out.
Tyler Hazard is going to be
incredulous about these. He won't like them.
Now you're going through the whole list of them.
No, that's all.
You've begun. Who's next? He doesn't know
anyone else. No, no, that's fine. I'm just
saying that last
time they were the only two here. So,
who can say? Who's here now?
I think Sarah will like them.
Sarah is almost never in that room.
Yep. Hey, do you want to send us
snacks? You can.
Send out snacks to face jam care
of eric bedour 1901 east 54 austin texas 78723 thank you so much uh for sending these chips h
these are weird chips uh he's in there sometimes hey uh cat trilogy update the coin is being minted
we are we are the coin so we So we have a couple notes that are...
I know what we said.
Did we decide and someone not tell me
or did we not decide?
No, no.
We have a final decision to make,
which we'll do right after this.
I want to be clear.
I know in like nine hours later,
I said what Jordan said.
But that was just to be succinct.
And I totally understand.
I totally understand.
So I hope you like it.
FaceGem RTX leftovers are going on sale august 2nd i think all possible i think the only leftovers are some sunglasses that's it that's
call them some glasses some glasses that's all that's going out we might have some more of the
sound things but i don't think there's a lot left. Oh, man. I can't do it through the package.
I have to open it. The sunglasses... Hey, guys, listen to this.
Whoa, that sounded great!
We'll put that sound on the next
sound machine. You trying to
push the sound machine through the plastic.
The sound machine!
The sound machine!
You can follow us at FaceJamPod
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if you're looking to listen on YouTube like a freak.
Spitting Silly will be back next week.
You can email FaceChampod at RoosterTeeth.com
with your food conundrums for food court.
But that's it.
That's all the news fit to print.
I got some news worth printing.
Okay. So we did the cat trilogy, right? Yeah. I'm just gonna
maybe I'll manifest this
like that roundabout. Uh-huh.
The Gracie Gazette. Wow!
What's that segment?
I don't know what that is. What show is
it even in? Guess we gotta figure
it out. Stay tuned. Someone else do
it. Yeah.
Alright, take us out.
Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about
the show where we eat food and rate the food.
Thanks for listening as always. Goodbye.
Didn't even fuck around.
Get out.