100% Eat - Papa John's Papadias

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Papa John's Papadias so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about who needs who, sauce abundance, and more. Sponsored by DoorD...ash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show super duper possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my somewhat conscious co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Hanging in there. All these better ingredients and better pizza are really getting me. Oh, you're not even waiting for a second. He's hungry. I mean, he shouldn't be that hungry because he just ate. Yeah, I will definitely say I'm not hungry anymore.
Starting point is 00:00:29 We're talking about the Papa John's Papadia format. Every time. Every time. He insists. I've mentioned this. He insists on writing it. It's a power struggle that he refuses to give up on, and that's fine with me. There is a line on the rundown that says,
Starting point is 00:00:43 Today we're reviewing this, and it doesn't have the word format in it, but you insist on reading the top. Oh, he made it in bold, so it just draws my attention. That's where the eye goes to. It draws my attention. That's the whole point of it, isn't it? That's like film language 101 right there.
Starting point is 00:00:57 And what's that over there? It's darker than the other things, and I look at it. What are you giggling about? Nothing. They're letters. That one day you're going to not do the format thing. One day. One day you won't write it. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Which will happen first. I know. So do I. Okay. Neither. That's the weirdest thing that we're stubborn about. There's no reason. I like it because it kills about a minute and a half. That's what we're all about here.
Starting point is 00:01:30 We're here to just kill time. We want to burn time early. Yeah, that's why we have marketing meetings in the middle of our episode. And you know what? It works. Very well. Very well. The Face Jam challenge.
Starting point is 00:01:40 It is. It is everywhere. It's taking off, dude. And I think it's working. It definitely is working. I've like more tweets about face jam i think we have more followers on our on our twitter now blowing up we're going up up up keep it up i got gus to do it on the rooster teeth podcast yep eric did it two uh two gus and what was what were their names gus and jeff gus and jeff friends of yours i guess you did it to them yeah posted it What were their names? Gus and Jeff. Gus and Jeff, friends of yours, I guess. You did it to them,
Starting point is 00:02:05 posted it. We were hanging out, that was at a bar and we were just, that was... Weird bar. Yes, it looked like a shitty bar but that's where I did the challenge.
Starting point is 00:02:12 I had my kids at the park the other day and like, I just overheard people talking like, you heard about the Face Jam challenge? And I was like, I smiled,
Starting point is 00:02:20 I didn't say anything because I didn't want to blow their socks off but I was like, doing it. Well, no one knows what you look like because this is an audio thing. It's audio, how would you know? If you, I mean't want to blow their socks off, but I was like doing it. Well, no one knows what you look like because this is an audio thing.
Starting point is 00:02:26 It's audio. How would you know? I mean, unless you follow at FaceJamPod, then you'll know. And that's where you tweet the FaceJam Challenge. And then you can eat the food while you look at the pictures that we post. You go buy it. You see what we're eating. You go buy it.
Starting point is 00:02:39 You bring it home. You start the podcast. You eat the food. You look at the pictures on face jam pod it's the whole thing comes together simple it's that simple done and also if you didn't listen to the last episode the face jam challenge is you record yourself telling someone to listen to face jam and then you tweet it to us and then you've done it it doesn't matter if they listen to do a lot of people confused by this yeah they don't have to listen to it yeah they don't have to like it don't
Starting point is 00:03:03 force them to like don't start playing it at them here's the thing i'm not saying to do it but i'm not saying not to do it oh interesting i guess i guess you do whatever you want the point is you don't have to do that we don't have to the extra effort and if there are don't feel obligated if there are complaints filed against you we have no responsibility for that we absolve ourselves from all responsibility real Oh, 100%. One person said they locked their friend in their car and she was like, why are you doing this to me?
Starting point is 00:03:31 Because the people told me to. That's not on us. That's an adult decision made by an adult person. Unless you're a child, still not on us. I like the one person who was telling their mom to listen to FaceTime and then she looked at the cameras of why are you recording this and then she says because they told me to uh-huh and then her mom said oh okay that makes sense i like so we like
Starting point is 00:03:56 you're out there we see you yeah you don't see us but we see you we see you and you can look at the pictures while you eat the food the women on t Tinder who are matching with these guys and then just letting them know, hey, if one day you get married, great. But if not, thank you for harassing these men on a dating site to let them know to listen to a podcast. Appreciate it. And you know what? You might get some.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Hey. Hey, if that person hasn't listened to it, the only thing he knows about this girl now is that she listens to this podcast. So he's listen to it to like have some common interests that's true so really it's very brilliant tinder men of the world yeah if you were duped welcome you're in for the ride of your life the relationship won't work out but hey the podcast your relationship with our podcast will last forever. There you go. That's perfect. You'll get dumped, but we'll be here for you. Well, it's very one way.
Starting point is 00:04:50 We're here, but not for you. You need us. We don't need you. Right. That's what we want. That's the goal here. You need us, but we don't need you. We do need you to listen to the podcast. But also, thanks for listening. I mean, thanks for listening. I don't need it.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Hopefully, I wake up, don't even know you exist. You wake up and go, I hope there's a new Face Jam. Do you see what I'm trying to build here? Do you see? It's a cult is what I'm describing. Oh, I like it. Okay? It's just, listen, cults are great.
Starting point is 00:05:19 You need members, but it's just one follower. That's it. Yep. One guy drinks the Kool-Aid early. Uh-oh, get another one. You know? You stand in his place. You gotta hope nobody else saw it.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Hey, somebody's down. You need to fill in a spot over there. It looks weird. Uh-oh. Whoopsie doodle. I also like the air traffic control guy. Yeah, dude in the airplane. Who told everyone to listen to the Face Jam broadcast. He was the pilot guy.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Was he the pilot? He was flying the plane. I don't know that he did that while he was flying, but there was a guy flying the plane. I believe it. I mean, you know, editing exists. I've heard. He could have recorded it separately. I don't know. But it was cool. Sounded like he was on a radio.
Starting point is 00:05:57 You can't fake that. That's true. It has to be done in real time. The only thing they haven't figured out is you literally cannot fake it. It is impossible. Anyway, we went to Papa John's. But this was smart. We got it out early. Early in the beginning. That way people could turn it off immediately.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Or just they skipped ahead. And they went, they're still talking about it. Two episodes in a row. I waited two weeks for this fucking show. And they're doing the same shit they did last time. We kind of do the same shit every episode. But you know what we've never done before?
Starting point is 00:06:30 Papa John's. Yeah. He's America's Papa. Everybody calls him Papa. Come sit on Papa's knee. And eat 30 pizzas a day. That's actually funny because I don't want to jump the gun to the facts but the first fact Eric wrote is oh boy.
Starting point is 00:06:46 I'm not kidding. Sure does say that. I just looked at it. Oh boy. I need to know everything about Papa John. There's so much to unpack, especially recently. In the last couple years, he really put himself in the limelight. Growing up, he was
Starting point is 00:07:04 just a guy that apparently was the papa. And he made the pizza and he went, that's me. That's my pizza. That's all I knew. From humble beginnings. But then. Then he went nuts. Pride comes before the fall, I suppose.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I don't know if it was that. I think it was a downward trend in sales came before the fall. Oh, I wonder if something happened that caused the downward trend in sales came before the fall oh i wonder i wonder if something happened that caused the downward trend in sales wow we'll never know until maybe we get to the fact sheet little tease whoa he stole that from me uh i don't go to papa john's a lot i for a short amount of time in my uh adolescence it was our go-to pizza place uh for my family and the garlic sauce was always a must get and uh then we got over it pretty quick i haven't had papa john's about 10 years so it was a go-to until it was no go yeah yep so um and it
Starting point is 00:08:02 had nothing to do with the NFL or anything. I don't know why you would need to make that statement. I just don't want Papa John coming at me. What's he going to do, eat pizzas at you? So what he's saying is he agrees with Papa's stance on the NFL. What are you saying? What I'm saying is I had nothing to do with it. He was like, I'm cool with the guy.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I'm in alliance with everything that he's saying. I just don't want to get thrown under the bus by Papa John. I don't want things to be said that might offend people. Just know the Day of Reckoning is coming. Watch out. Why does he look waxy and wet at the same time? I think he's just a wax figure of himself. He's just melting a little bit.
Starting point is 00:08:45 He's got a permanent glisten. I wonder. He was never waxy in the commercials. It looks like it looks like he's like his face doesn't look like a face that is natural. Like he's had work done and I feel like it's wax work. Yes. They're just
Starting point is 00:09:01 shooting wax right into his face. Under the lights. The wax is trying to push the skin out. Yeah. Yeah. The real Papa John's underneath. Okay. And he's ugly as fuck. You put the wax and then you sculpt it.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Yeah. And now he's melting because he got it done in like his early 30s. Yeah. Right. It's just a matter of time. He needs to re-up, but he can't because he doesn't have a job anymore. Oh, dude. And he's pissed about it.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Yeah. He's really slumming it. He doesn't have a job anymore and he's pissed about it yeah he's really slumming it he doesn't have a penny to his name poor guy uh i was gonna mention when you talked about the garlic sauce i feel like papa john's is the one that brought that to the table yeah well because like for sure even like everybody has it now um and you can order it but i think papa john's was and still is at least as far far as the major shit pizza chains, that just throw it in the box regardless. You don't got to ask for it.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I remember I got it and I was like, what the heck is this? And then as a child it was like, oh, this is great. It's just salt and butter and goo. It doesn't even really taste like garlic. I tasted it just now today, and I almost dropped dead. Because it was so extra.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I was eating it as I was eating the sopping, grease-filled pizza. I was like, why does this need this? Who would add this and go, hey, you need something else? Yeah. Hey, you want to make this worse for you? I was like, oh, that's him. One thing I learned today is that you're supposed to shake it before you open it. Nick had a tip.
Starting point is 00:10:31 He had a tip. Sauce tips with Nick. Tips and tricks section. So mine was like a liquid. Probably read it on some sauce forum. Who do you think moderates the sauce forum? Yeah. Founder.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah. Co-founder. Moderator. It's fucked up. Yeah, yeah dude he looks over and he goes i gotta shake it and his is like a fine paste and it didn't look totally different yeah it totally different but i was just like that blew my mind because to me that only looks like that after you open it and it sits out and then before you throw it away i didn't know that's what you you're trying to get that's what you're trying to get.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Yeah, that's what you're aiming for. Yeah, because I would always go, oh, this is done. It's all thick now. Little did you know. Little did I know. It was in its prime. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:14 You should have dug right in. It wasn't ripe yet. If it's still a liquid, you got to let it sit. You should have left it on the garlic tree. Screaming to his wife in the kitchen. Let it sit. You got to let it sit. No. Can you imagine? Imagine what his house is like. screaming to his wife in the kitchen. Let it sit! You gotta let it sit! No!
Starting point is 00:11:26 Can you imagine? Imagine what his house is like. He's just like, I don't know. I just don't touch his sauces. I come home. The sauce cabinet. Don't touch my sauce! It's like a glass cabinet. Don't ask questions about what's going on in there. With a lock on it. Yeah. Only he can get into it. Some people have like a man cave or
Starting point is 00:11:41 like a bar. Nick's just got a sauce room. He's like, you don't touch it. This is mine. Don't touch it. He said that with these sauces that are left over, which there are an abundance of. There's a lot. There is a lot of sauce that's left over. There's maybe a dozen, like 10. He said, oh, these will be my, I'll just take these to my desk.
Starting point is 00:11:57 These will be my desk sauce. Yeah. These will be my desk sauce. Yeah. Somebody said, I can't remember. I think it was Jordan. He said, he was like, oh, we got a lot of sauce left. Like, we got too much.
Starting point is 00:12:07 And I immediately agreed, completely forgetting about this monster over here. Yeah. Nothing goes to waste. Yeah, and then Eric was like, I mean, but it's not extra. You realize, like, that's going somewhere, right? And then we went, oh, right. He conned us into getting desk sauce. Duh, Nick's going to take it home. And then he went, no, that's going somewhere, right? And then we went, oh, right. He conned us into getting desk seats. Duh, Nick's going to take it home.
Starting point is 00:12:27 And then he went, no, that's going to my desk. He already had it mapped out. It's like, you don't just like kidnap kids and then figure out what you're going to do with them. You have it plotted first. And he woke up this morning. I was like, sauce A's going over here. I'm going to have a drop off on the way home.
Starting point is 00:12:41 I owe a guy a sauce. I imagine it was very organic how Eric just happened to be ordering the food and then Nick walks by or something. By the way, my desk is in a corner of the room that you can't just walk by. I'm ordering the food and I'm like, oh man, I'm spending all this money on Papadias, ha ha.
Starting point is 00:12:59 And they all come with sauces or whatever. And he's like, oh, they all come with sauces? Yeah, and he went, went okay we should get extra you know just in case so i ordered like 12 extra sauces and he went yeah okay yeah that's okay they handed us a sack yeah yeah we got a sack and and everyone uh every papadia has its own box. So everyone comes with one specific sauce. And Papa John's does not provide bags. So you have to carry
Starting point is 00:13:32 out a whole 12 boxes. We did have 12 boxes. But there was so much sauce. So we got 12 with 12 sauces with the 12 sandwiches. And then like another 10 or so. So there's a lot left there's no way like we got to find that middle ground and i was for it this time because last
Starting point is 00:13:51 time uh there wasn't enough was going on about sauce he ate it all right so i was like i don't want to run into that again but now he's tricked us again where he didn't eat it but now he's just going to take it to his desk or his house yeah we. We got to find a way for Nick not to win. Just have some sauce and none extra. Like, I want enough sauce for me, but not leftovers for him. Right. So the way we would have accomplished that this time is that we would have not ordered extra sauce and just eaten the ones that came with it. We would have been fine.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Or he might have started rooting around. You don't know. Or he's over there nodding. We order the extras and then we gotta kind of suss it out as it's happening and then go, I need to have four sauces for my next sandwich. And just go nuts.
Starting point is 00:14:35 You want to eat four of those sauces with one of the sandwiches? Of course I don't want to. It's the principle. It's the principle of not letting him dictate how this show works. All I know is... We're being held prisoner by this sauce monster. Nick doesn't give a shit about the show.
Starting point is 00:14:50 He just has 10 extra sauces to take to his desk. He got free lunch and extra sauce. He got sauce with the food and extra sauce. And do we pay for that sauce? Yeah. I paid for the extra damn sauce. Damn it. That's our sauce. That's our sauce.
Starting point is 00:15:07 I'm taking it back to my desk. I'm gonna take it home and then just every day I'm gonna send Nick a picture of it just so he knows I didn't eat it but he can't have it. It's like two and a half years later. I got it. Just another picture. I'm gonna send it at 4 a.m. so he wakes up
Starting point is 00:15:24 screaming. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Oh my god. Okay. So we went and got the food. There wasn't really anything too telling about this Papa John's. It was like a typical Papa John's or like
Starting point is 00:15:42 Domino's kind of pickup pizza place. You can go get it but there's like 12 square feet to stand in the restaurant. They have the new thing where you can watch them make the pizzas and stuff like Domino's has. Like why would you want to... Come on kids
Starting point is 00:15:58 get in the car. We have to watch the pizza men make the pizza. You gotta watch this guy in his 30s realize his calling. Get him. Take that. Don't try to stop me, Michael. I'm not. Alright, they're lucky Michael's here.
Starting point is 00:16:15 How dare you. Oh my god. Dude, that guy had the... He was ready. He had the papadillasz he was cranking them out and you were just like oh they're all in their own box yeah he kept going back and bringing more boxes he was like telling us about deals that we had missed out on on papa yeah that's that's right he was like should have been here on friday we're giving out for free papa diaz but then he's like
Starting point is 00:16:42 but it was only with the purchase of a Papadia. And also, you would have had to purchase something and you could only get one. So you'd have to just make a lot of orders. And I'm like, all right. Let me tell you first what you missed. And then explain how you could have gotten it under the same circumstance if you hadn't have missed it. Oh, is this an upcoming thing? No.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah, none of the information is really useful at all. At all. But hey, Papa John's. There wasn't a lot to take pictures of either. No. Just you guys on a bench. There was a single bench there. And not like a nice bench.
Starting point is 00:17:15 No, like a park bench. It was an outdoor bench inside. Like a bus bench. Do you think someone saw him bringing it inside and they yelled, you can't do that. Hey, hey, you put that back outside. There's a bus stop like right out there too. Let's just take that bench.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Oh man. They took the bench from the bus stop. Papa makes his own rules. Yep. Okay. I like it. Should we get to some facts? Oh, let's do it. I can't wait. Alright. I'm ready. Jordan's ready. Fact number one. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Papa John's was the first national pizza chain to offer online ordering in 2002. Wow. That's surprising. It seems radical. Innovative. I don't think anyone had computers in 2002. That's early, man. Most people listening to this were probably 40.
Starting point is 00:18:01 What do you think it was like to online order in 2002? You think that they were 40 in 2002? I think we have a lot of older listeners. You do? Yeah, dude. They're more refined. Just based on the one Face Jam challenge where somebody told their mom? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:18 That's a listener now. No, it's all those Tinder people that we got. Bunch of 40-year-old Tinder users. Dude, teenagers don't start cracking open fine-aged wine. that we got. A bunch of 40-year-old 10-year-olds. This shows, dude, like, teenagers don't start cracking open like fine-aged wine. Uh-huh. Okay?
Starting point is 00:18:29 And that's what this podcast is. Oh, okay. So, I think we got a That's how you see this. I think we got a bunch of senior winos Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:18:36 just getting drunk Uh-huh. on our voices. And they just want to know about the finer things in life like Papa John's Papadilla sandwich format. And we're laying it on them right now.
Starting point is 00:18:46 You. That's a good one. In 2017, here we go, Papa John claimed that NFL players protesting was hurting his pizza business, saying, quote, leadership starts at the top, and this is an example of poor leadership, which is the definition of irony i think is what
Starting point is 00:19:07 eric said i didn't say that i fought through that sentence but i got through it i think that it was definitely he was the leader of the pizza place and then he said all these nfl players are fucking it up yeah fucking what up well they were Well, you see, they were rolling around on the ground in protest of Papa John's. They said, no, I want two packets of garlic sauce per pie or I won't play. So then a lot of people got upset watching the NFL because they were just trying to watch these people. And they're like, I can't scream at the TV and tell them how to do the play better as I rub my fat gut and drink my beer. I can't scream at how lazy and shitty they are. So I'm not watching because they won't get off the field.
Starting point is 00:19:53 And I'm definitely not going to buy Papa John's as a result. I'm missing all the Papa John's commercials that are blasted into my eye drums. And if I'm not watching the NFL, i don't know that papa exists right now the sales plummet so in a way he was 100 correct yeah there is don't be a baby directly play the fucking game little babies uh-huh said papa john papa john yeah yeah and it worked out great for him yeah he everything seemed to be fine with him and now papa john still in charge uh-huh number one pizza place still the official pizza of the NFL. Wait, I just was told none of that is correct.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Oh, shit. Whoops. Yikes. Did anybody know what that was about? The whole NFL thing? I don't follow sports. What they were taking a knee about? You meant, were they taking knees?
Starting point is 00:20:40 They were protesting. You don't say that in here. NFL players protesting. The protest was taking a knee. So was it not about the garlic sauce? It was not. That was a good guess. That was like...
Starting point is 00:20:50 Were you on to me? Yeah. Okay. Tough. I took a stab at it. You were close. I thought, I mean, really, you were in the ballpark of the whole thing, except for that garlic sauce part, but who knows what they could have been.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Did they roll around? One guy took a knee. One guy was doing the worm, right? No, that was WWF in the year 2002. That was a touchdown celebration you saw. That's when Papa John started online ordering. See? I read that earlier.
Starting point is 00:21:18 It all comes together. I heard about that. Papa John ate 40 pizzas in 30 days, then swore to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days. He has still not eaten the 50 pizzas in 30 days, then swore to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days. He has still not eaten the 50 pizzas in 30 days. Fucking pussy. Can I ask what he's trying to prove by that? Who knows?
Starting point is 00:21:36 So he had that whole thing. Whose pizzas are you buying? His pizza is buying Papa John's because he was claiming that they're awful now. Yeah. So the whatever. So he's going that they're awful now. So the whatever So he's going to eat a bunch of them? There was the NFL garlic sauce fiasco from 2017.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I think that was when he ended up stepping down as the CEO and then it had to be like within a year after that he had his whole I don't know what the hell it was. His like conference training fiasco where he said the N-word on a phone call. That is, yes.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Then ended up stepping down as one of the chairmen of the board. So then he was like, Papa's not Papa anymore. He's just John. He's just John. And then cut to last year, some weirdo random interview with him. The man just looks like he drank a bucket of grease and then dumped it on his head. It looks like he drank the garlic sauce. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:33 He didn't shake it. And he starts going on about how Papa John's sucks, even though he still has stock in Papa John's. Also, the pizza tastes the exact same. No. It sucks now. Yeah, according to him. and he knows because he ate 40 pizzas in 30 days and then also a day of reckoning
Starting point is 00:22:51 is coming it was all in the same interview and people were just like what the fuck is happening what is the day of reckoning coming for the company is it coming for us he just said it's coming it's a good way to be right he's kind of doing like a magician's trick.
Starting point is 00:23:05 If I'm vague enough, he'll point it out and go, I said that. I'm feeling like a G, B, E. Bob? Bob. Your name's Bob. Joe. Got it. Three letters.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Three letters. That's what I was feeling. I was getting that. And then Joe goes, oh my God. How did he know? But then he took that brief return to the spotlight, which was this guy's crazy, right? That was everyone's take on it. That was it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:32 And he did a 2020 New Year's resolution video in his house where he's like, I'm going to eat 50 pizzas. And it was like, what the fuck is he talking about? So the thing about that video, the thing about that video that no one talks about is that he's standing there and he's like, I'm going to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days. On the counter, like island behind him, there are like 50 pizzas. Are those the 50 pizzas? Is he going to eat them right now?
Starting point is 00:24:02 Did he order them in one day? And then he's like well of course they're terrible this pizza is 23 days old he was just getting started like what the fuck maybe he started with 45 why did he need 40 pizzas to come to the conclusion i don't know and then why does he keep buying them from pop i know he's like oh i'm gonna show you papa john's sucks but he's just like hey franchise of papa john's i need 50 like that's an insane order sounds like insider trading oh that's what insane order sounds like insider trading oh that's what you think until you find out that there's a it's not in the fact sheet i couldn't
Starting point is 00:24:30 fit it okay there's a poison pill clause enacted by papa john's when they kicked him out when he resigned and he's gone and everything he can't own more than 30 of the stock if he goes to buy more than 30 of the stock he dies the something to buy more than 30% of the stock, he dies. The something called a poison pill happens where that stock that he tried to buy becomes invalid. And the people that are already owning stock in Papa John's can buy that stock for half price. Weird. It's crazy. It's so he can never own, never, ever own a a majority share that is a very good idea on their part i'm glad they did that yep because don't they look smart now oh yeah because he would absolutely try to buy a bunch of stock it was it was even if he works within like shell companies
Starting point is 00:25:16 and all this stuff they can't own it poison pill papa john's that's a cool name fuck yeah it's always good to talk about poison when you're talking about food. Papa John's. Papa John's poison pill. That's the next one. Format. In 2015, a Papa John's driver leaked Iggy Azalea's phone number after she ordered a pizza. She claimed, up until that point, Papa John's was her favorite pizza.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Also, in 2015, Papa John's made a bacon cheeseburger pizza is that what she ordered was that her favorite pizza what a disgusting monster again direct line cheeseburger pizza to iggy azalea damn dude yeah it didn't have pizza sauce on it it had what they called zesty burger sauce Damn, dude. Yeah. It didn't have pizza sauce on it. It had what they called zesty burger sauce. Look, I just ate a bunch of these fucking things, and I need you to not talk about food right now. I could go for another bite.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It also had pickles. I could mukbang a few. It also had pickles on it. No. Yeah, it's a burger, man. Yeah, exactly. Disgusting. And the cheese was cheddar cheese.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Didn't it have an egg on it? No, they should have done that. Not a gourmet burger. Yep, you done that. Not a gourmet burger. You're right. Anyway, poor Iggy. Yeah, so who's her... Poor Iggy. It sounded like you called her Eggie.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Who's her favorite pizza now? I don't know. Great question. Oh, man. Iggy Azalea. Have we been waiting five years to find out? Iggy Azalea, I know you're listening to this. Tweet at us at FaceJamPod.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Let us know what your favorite pizza is currently. I know you're like 30 years under the Target demographic, but if you're listening, that's still great. But when you see your parents or your grandparents, let them know we said hi. Last fact. This is I guess Eric speaking in the
Starting point is 00:26:57 first person. When I ordered the Papadias, Papa John's called me to make sure the order was not a mistake. When I told the guy it was not a mistake, he sighed and said, alright, then hung up. Frankly, how dare you make him make 12 Papa Diaz.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Now, did you call us in this morning? Was that the guy there at the counter? Yep. 100%. He was like, here's the guy. Yep. I placed the order. I placed the online order. Within two minutes, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize.
Starting point is 00:27:34 I answered it. And he's like, hey, this is whatever, from Papa John's. I just wanted to make sure that you meant to order 12 Papadias. And I went, yeah. And he went, 12 Papadias.adillas and i said yeah i know it's like an abundant order but yes i didn't mean to order 12 yeah i have a family to feed and the extra sauce and he just went all right and then click so that that's why when we got there you just walked up you go hey it's me eric yep 100 yeah it was we were we were chilling on the benches and he said it like friendly you'd say something
Starting point is 00:28:09 on a first date like it's me eric yeah like i'm i'm the one we spoke earlier you sighed earlier we did i'm the guy i received the sigh i mean not a joke i I appreciate that he called and went, is this a fucking mistake? Yeah. In fact, it was not. Do you think it was out of like, you know, your best interest? Or was it like, is this guy pranking me? Oh, I think it's a 50-50 split. The thing is like, 12 isn't insane if you don't know how many people.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Right. If you were telling him four people are ordering 12, it's kind of obscene. But I think the fact that it was 10.30 in the morning on a Wednesday. Yes, absolutely. Is probably what raised suspicion. Yep. He just went, what the fuck? The guy just unlocked the front door.
Starting point is 00:28:56 And you're like, 12 papadias, please. A nice, easy morning. What the fuck? He's just looking at a screen. There's like alarms going off. Oh, no. It was crazy because like when we were there, it was him and another pizza guy. And they were like, they weren't ready when we got there.
Starting point is 00:29:13 And the other guy was like, I'll be right back. I'm going in the back. And then we just heard a gunshot. I don't know what happened. I assume he was putting down an animal to butcher the meat for the pizza. Yeah, that's probably it. Yeah, that sounds right. Some sort of pizza animal.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Mm-hmm. All right, so yeah, we had the papadillas. We had the papadillas. The papa's papadillas. And when we were talking about what we were going to eat for this episode, I just kept seeing the word papadia. Papadia. Yeah, I didn't know what the hell it was. Didn't know what it was.
Starting point is 00:29:52 It's like we're eating papa? Like, Papa John's is the guy. It's a very weird name. I don't understand it. Like, I get it's Papa John's pizza, but, like, I don't know. You don't call it, like, the papa pizza. It's not like, take a bite of Papa. But this food is called a
Starting point is 00:30:07 Papadia. Right. So it's just weird naming to me. It's only about, it can't be more than 30% Papa though. Otherwise it's poison. I think, I think, I think Papa does take more than 30% and Papadia, that's half the word. Oh boy. That's not what I meant. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:30:23 We're dead. I'm just saying, dude. He poison-pilled us. Dude, Papa John wins again. Day of reckoning. We're blasted. This is what he meant. We're blasted. This is what he meant. Do we know that he isn't behind Corona?
Starting point is 00:30:38 The drink? The virus. Oh, shit. Gotcha. Honestly, both are a blight on society take that corona yeah how dare you coronavirus gets its line fucking jesus
Starting point is 00:30:57 uh okay so is this the second time you've said that didn't you tweet that I only know because Eric replied and he was like great one bud I had a flashback right there You've said that? Yeah. Didn't you tweet that? Yeah, I did. I only know because Eric replied. He was like, great one, bud. I had a flashback right there. So I didn't know what the fuck we were eating. Same.
Starting point is 00:31:13 He just kept saying, it's a sandwich thing. Yeah. And I was like, all right, the less I know, the better. Yeah. And also, we had a couple options. And I went, Papa John's. Everybody loves that guy. Yep.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Let's pick. Yeah. This is going to be a great one. That was my logic. And this time of year, too. Mm-hmm. So here's what. Yeah, this is gonna be a great one. My logic and this time of year too. So here's here's referring to Black History Month. Is that what you're referring to? Or
Starting point is 00:31:31 you said this time of year. I don't know what you're what you mean by that unless you mean that it's February. Could be. I didn't want people to be confused about what was being implied I'd hate for a monochrome of subtlety to slip through I'm not gonna have it
Starting point is 00:31:51 not on this show oh my god oh man Michael laughing so hard off mic was perfect. Oh, man. So let Papa John's tell you about what a Papadilla is. Yeah. So here's how they explain what the fuck it is.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Papa John's Papadilla is a Papa John's Papadilla isn't just any flatbread sandwich. So it's a flatbread sandwich. Yeah. That tells you right away. It's a hot, beautifully balanced meal. Whoa. What? Damn. Fuck's a hot, beautifully balanced meal. Whoa. What? Damn.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Fuck. Okay. I didn't know. Guys, maybe it isn't a flatbread sandwich. I didn't know what I was eating. I didn't realize that was a whole damn meal. I mean, I guess it feels like it was, but. Well, it's because you ate four.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Oh, yeah. That's probably why. It's a beautifully balanced meal that's everything you do love. What? It's weird. beautifully balanced meal that's everything you do love what everything weird everything you do love about a hot flatbread style sandwich so so it is a flat but confused it's a flatbread style uh-huh yeah flatbread style sandwich but taken to the next level with generous portions of all your favorite papa john's ingredients and flavors wow so, so like a sandwich. It's a thing with shit on it. Some kind of flatbread sandwich almost.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Here's what it is. It's essentially a pizza that's folded in half. That's what it is. I think that they made a bunch of small pizzas. They cut them in half, and then they fold that half in half, and that's a Papa John's. When you unfold it, it looks like pizza. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Jordan unfolded it, and it's just half a pizza. It's like the crust. I also. It's the fucking pizza. I was thinking it was going to be some sort of like calzone type thing or like pizone where it's sealed. It's not sealed. It has two ends.
Starting point is 00:33:36 It has a crust end. It's literally just folded in half. It is a pizza. Groundbreaking. If you want to try a Papadilla yourself, but you don't want to go to Papa John's, and you can send a picture of us, of you doing this, you can just get a pizza at home,
Starting point is 00:33:50 like a DiGiorno or something, cut it in half, fold it in half, and then take a picture, tweet it at FaceJamPod, hashtag pizza my heart. And that is what people can send. Not Pizzadilla?
Starting point is 00:34:02 Hashtag Pizzadilla. I like that. That's good. Wow. So let us know your Pizzadia? Hashtag Pizzadia. I like that. That's good. Wow. So let us know your Pizzadia at home because there's no reason why you couldn't just make this. No reason. Well, I mean
Starting point is 00:34:14 they don't have the beautifully balanced meal and the generous portions of all your favorite Papa John ingredients and flavors. I'm going to break this down real quick. So it's not a flatbread sandwich. That's their first claim. That's what it isn't. Here's what it is.
Starting point is 00:34:30 It is hot. It is balanced. It is a meal. Also, it's a flatbread sandwich. It's flatbread style. It's so not a flatbread sandwich, they couldn't think of any other thing to compare it to except for the thing that it isn't. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Which is what it is. But it isn't that. Right, which is what it is. It's in the same vein of one. Do they mean to imply that most flatbread sandwiches are not hot or balanced? I think they're just not folded in half. I think that's really... I think most flatbread sandwiches are two pieces of flatbread
Starting point is 00:35:01 put together. I would not describe what we ate as balanced like what is that oh what does that mean no not at all do they mean in like ingredients do they mean i think maybe you can hold it from like the middle and it's like oh shit like a sword perfectly balanced thanos would love it you can't see michael nodding vigorously at that. I was agreeing. I got it.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Yep. And Jordan stared back at me and said, you're not laughing. Please clap. Please clap. Guys, please clap. There are four different papadias. Yep, here they are. One is Philly cheesesteak. Papa's signature dough, stuffed with tender
Starting point is 00:35:45 steak that melts in your mouth. That's not true. Steak doesn't melt. Steak doesn't do that. Fresh onions, green peppers, plenty of real cheese made from mozzarella, and Papa John's unique sauce served with an additional cup of garlic sauce.
Starting point is 00:36:01 What is real cheese made from mozzarella? Yeah, that is. And why is there plenty of it? What? They don't do fake cheese. And it's made from mozzarella? What's your favorite cheese made from mozzarella? Mine is mozzarella.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Well, it depends. What does it depend on? I like mozzarella style made from mozzarella, but not mozzarella cheese. Mozzarella style? need a lot mozzarella cheese That's the first spill in face jam history Nick is standing he's walking to today don't approach the table You're not allowed over here. We're recording your progress. He sat back down at his desk It's fine. There's no field. You can see. I didn't want you to walk into it.
Starting point is 00:36:48 You'd get fried. It's a poison pill. It's a poison pill. If you come across a threshold, it'll be bad for everybody. Nick's collar was going to go off and explode. It would all be covered in chunks. It's okay. There's no electronic equipment. It was a lucky spill.
Starting point is 00:37:04 It was right into some papadilla boxes I was trying to grab the Philly cheesesteak one So I could see what kind of cheese is on this Mozzarella style But it's just Cheese I don't understand what they're saying I don't know, I mean it's mozzarella cheese
Starting point is 00:37:19 This is what you want though, right? This is what Jordan wants, it wants the fluff of nothing That's what they're giving you It many words describing a it's ordinary thing and that's only the first one jordan there are three more we got a lot to get through so let's move on to grilled barbecue chicken and bacon papa's signature take on a hot barbecue italian style flatbread sandwich you can just call it the flatbread sandwich. With juicy grilled chicken, smoky bacon, real melted cheese. Where's it from? From what?
Starting point is 00:37:50 Where's it made from? We need to know. Fresh onions and just the right amount of tangy barbecue sauce served with an additional barbecue dipping cup in case the right amount wasn't enough. So what we've done is we've put the perfect amount on here. We've also provided you with an abundance. They know there's people like him out there.
Starting point is 00:38:07 They're like, and then for you fucking freaks out there that are hoarding sauce at your desk, here's another cup to just ruin the whole thing. We put a lot of effort into making sure it's the right amount, but we know that will go unappreciated. I'll take the $100 sirloin and the bottle of ketchup, please. Thank you. You can leave the ketchup walk away are are these the word like the most poorly thought out written like like descriptions it's like somebody somebody woke up and they're like oh fuck that stuff was due today yeah oh shit made from uh
Starting point is 00:38:40 cheese it's also like i'm pretty sure every one of the sandwiches has the same cheese, but every description describes it differently. Let's see what Meatball Pepperoni has to say. The ultimate pizza sandwich. Now it's a pizza sandwich. Yeah, hell yeah. With spicy pepperoni, gooey melted cheese, juicy meatballs,
Starting point is 00:38:59 authentic Italian seasonings, and Papa's signature pizza sauce, parentheses, with more on the side for dipping again They are making sure that you know this comes with sauce Papa's got a lot of signatures. He might be a forger He might be might be a forger because I did everything's a signature. It's bullshit damn Do you know yeah, then what I appreciate is that each one has a? Unique signature thing with like the Philly cheesesteak had the signature dough. Right. The other ones don't have
Starting point is 00:39:28 that. No dough. Because they don't say that they do. Even though that it's there. It's all the same exact shit. You're just finding a different word. You said that. Real cheese from mozzarella cheese. In the third sandwich, they called it a fucking pizza sandwich.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Because they can't call it a flatbread sandwich. I think four different people wrote the description for each one. Oh, I think so. It was like a project. They had to use the same amount of words. Okay, split up into groups. You get the pepperoni pizza. You have to use the word, we got to call it gooey.
Starting point is 00:39:59 We got to call the cheese gooey. Make sure you use the word signature. Don't call it a flatbread sandwich. Here are your guidelines. All right, last one. The Italian. A beautiful combination of Papa's own salami. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Whoa. Sausage, banana peppers, Alfredo sauce, and melted cheese. Plus, a cup of pizza sauce on the side. This one sucked. Papa's own salami. Who wrote that? I mean, that goes right up there with the juicy meatballs. They don't say Papa's juicy meatballs.
Starting point is 00:40:29 There was nothing signature on this one. Why not use Papa's signature salami? A beautiful combination of Papa's own salami. Beautiful. Perfect. Beautifully balanced. So there you go. Those are the four sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:40:43 But what did they have to say about it, Jordan? Bottom line. Quote, the papadilla is inspired by the piadina, an Italian folded flatbread sandwich from northern Italy. But also it's not that. Guys, it's not that. That was my hand hitting the table. No, take it back.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Guys, it's not that. Inspired by the thing that it is. Which is exactly what it is but on the next level it combines the original papa john's crust people crave along with fresh toppings making it the best of both worlds it's a pizza and a sandwich but mostly a pizza said paul said paul faber uh svp senior vice president product innovation at papa john's nothing gets my appetite going like describing pizza as a product
Starting point is 00:41:28 Innovate this product, pizza The Papadia is great for people on the go who are looking to mix it up to mix up their traditional lunch routine You know how not on the go pizza is? Pizza is always flying out of your hands or like you don't have a fork and knife
Starting point is 00:41:44 Boy I wish you were like man I wish i could fold this pizza in half this was this was the same thinking that got us that pizza sphere that gavin talked about and that i had to make which is what if pizza was portable yeah what if i guess and then that's it it's just kind of like we didn't have a great idea but we got to make it sound as unique and groundbreaking as possible. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Like, we need a new product. We don't have a lot of budget for it. Oh, let's just take a pizza and fold it in half and make a big deal about it. See, that's how I would go. I would go that approach.
Starting point is 00:42:15 I'd say... Just own it? Yeah, I'd say, hey, you want a papadilla? What is it? Well, we folded your pizza in half, so you don't have to. Yeah. Pay us extra for it. What's on it? A bunch of for it. What's on it? A bunch of shit. The shit that you eat.
Starting point is 00:42:28 It's regular pizza, but we fold it in half. Pay us money. Hey, you want cheesesteak? Shove it on in. Here it is right there. Here you go. You know, classic cheesesteak pizza. Don't want that one?
Starting point is 00:42:37 Shove this one in. How much do these cost? $6 each. Kind of pricey. Yes. They're not huge. Yeah, you don't get a lot. Like, for what it is, just order a're not huge. Yeah, you don't get a lot for what it is. Just order a pizza for like $8.
Starting point is 00:42:48 You don't get a lot. You get one small pizza. I guess the thing is some of them are filled with a bunch of toppings, which is where the cost would go up on a pizza. But it's like the amount of stuff that would be on a small pizza isn't that expensive, right? No, I'm saying you'd pay for the toppings. If you got a small pizza and then you got like four? No, I'm saying you'd pay for the toppings. Like if you got a small pizza
Starting point is 00:43:05 and then you got like four toppings, that's where it would add up. But don't you think all of these- Size-wise, it's not- But don't you think all of these are like their signature pizzas? I mean, the cheesesteak one's definitely a specialty pizza. So, oh, there was also a create your own.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Yeah, finally. You can create your own Papadilla. There was just like a pizza? Yeah. You just pick whatever's on it? Yep. They had a create your own. But they're portable. Yeah. Finally. You can create your own Papadias. Is it just like a pizza? Yeah. You just pick whatever's on it? Yep. They had a create your own option where you could just make your own Papadias. Can I get a Nundia with left beef? Now, if you
Starting point is 00:43:33 create your own pizza at Papa John's, I assume their website. Yes. In a way, you are Papa. Finally. Do you become racist if you make your own pizza? I don't think so. However, I have not done it.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Do you get there and you're like, I'm going to fire in there, make me a pizza. And then you sit down and go, hang on. Why does everybody get to vote? Let me think about this. Do you think that happens? I hope not. I hope not too. You take a bite.
Starting point is 00:44:05 It's like, Papa was right. You're like Jordan from earlier. No, I just... I need to be clear. I just want you to know my fault. All the crazy shit he did isn't why I stopped eating it. It happened before the crazy shit. And now
Starting point is 00:44:21 the crazy shit has happened and I'm eating it again? Maybe I am a hypocrite. Oh my god. He just keeps putting his hands up. And now the crazy shit has happened and I'm eating it again? Maybe I am a hypocrite. Oh my God. He just keeps putting his hands up. I'll be honest. I don't agree with the guy, but it brought me back around. You know, I forgot about Papa John's. Let me pop on over there and see what's going on.
Starting point is 00:44:36 He's in the news a lot lately. What's going on with his pizza? Here's the thing that I looked up and I'm glad I did because I knew there would be a lot of facts. I didn't know what would make it. Right. I looked this up and I'm glad I did because I knew there would be a lot of facts. I didn't know what would what would make it right. I looked this up because I was curious. So what I've been saying since the whole fiasco of like the 40 pizzas a day thing, which was a couple of months ago, I said like, OK, you got you got ousted slash like tricked into leaving his own company.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Right. And that's his whole thing. Yeah, they tricked me. They made me say something racist. Right. And then like I left, but I know I wouldn't have, but I already did. Yeah. They tricked me. They made me say something racist. Right. And then, like, I left, but now I wouldn't have. But I already did. They wouldn't let me back in. I was saying, hey, I forgot my keys. And they wouldn't let me back in. I'm thinking, you're rich. Just leave.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Just go do whatever you want. Go. Yeah. Like, I don't. There's no, like, oh, I'm a struggling parent and I need this job. The job was the only thing holding me together. Right. It's just like, all right, you know, take the loss and go be rich. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:45:32 You know, and I'm thinking. He can't do that. And I'm thinking, you know, no idea what this guy's worth. Like, like real rich. Like he's got to have tens of millions of dollars. He's at least, you know, whatever. Papa John's is at least a billion dollar company, right? I'm just like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:43 So I, so I, I looked it up and he's, he's he's you know it's just like numbers on the internet but upwards of half a billion dollars oh my god the guy is worth up to a one one thing i found said 800 million oh my god and your post and video is about eating 50 pieces like dude absolute insanity like cash out your stock and like he don go make your own pizza. Apparently he got hundreds of millions of dollars from his stock, and he didn't even sell it all. Yeah. He got his big, like, see you, Papa John.
Starting point is 00:46:15 You're out of here. Here's a couple hundred million dollars. Please never come back. And he's in the streets fighting it. You won't keep me down, He screamed from his golden jet. It's just like the day of reckoning. Go buy an island somewhere and enjoy your life. It's crazy to me.
Starting point is 00:46:35 You think you'd be like, oh, wait, why did I work again? Why was I doing that? That's it. I guarantee you the answer to that question is not for the money. No. It was for something else deep inside that money can't fill and now not working there has shattered him. 50 pizzas. He's got a pizza hole and he's just trying to fill himself up.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Maybe that's what it is. Up, up, up, up, up. It's just crazy to me. It blew my mind how effing rich that guy is. But you're totally right remember we were talking in the kfc episode we talked about how colonel sanders went to try to start his own chicken thing after he got bought out but he also called it like something too close to kentucky fried chicken but like at the same time like he's just trying to do it again why
Starting point is 00:47:20 you did it just do something else he needs to prove that this time he can do it while being openly racist? Is that Papa? Is that what he's doing? I think we're still talking about the colonel. I think you really touched on something. I think he's like, okay, before I did it and no one knew I was racist, but now I'm openly racist
Starting point is 00:47:41 and I have to prove that I'm still the pizza man. I'll be honest, if you're going to do it, now's the time in America. Yeah, 100%. Now's the time. He's like, I have the backing. He's got hopefully only one more year to really get it figured out and then things change. But I guess we'll see. But again, like Jack says, vote for whoever you want.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Just get out there. Now Eric has his hands up. Who's Jack? Is he a friend of yours? No. Okay. Take that, Jack. Whoever you are, wherever you are.
Starting point is 00:48:13 He doesn't listen. That's fine. All right. Let's get into the review since we spent the last almost an hour talking about everything but the food. We've done it. No. This is perfect timing.
Starting point is 00:48:22 We're ahead of the schedule, I'd say. I mean, there's not a whole lot to talk about because as we pointed out it's pizza it's four different pizzas folded in half with topping so here's the thing do you rate each one of them individually or do you give a group i'll i'll blanket it i think it's a group it's a group i don't have the mental capacity to give it four separate distinct i couldn't tell you what they were There are ones that I liked more than the others. Yeah, after they've been sitting in my stomach for a little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:49 They're all kind of the same. Right. After eating three slices. Like, so there's. Folds. Folds, yeah. It's not a slice. It's halves.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Yeah. So I ate three halves. I got pretty full. I couldn't eat the fourth one. But I, you know, I let it sit. Was that the barbecue one? That was the one I was pretty full. I couldn't eat the fourth one. But I let it sit. Was that the barbecue one? That was the one I was intimidated by. I looked over at George.
Starting point is 00:49:09 He made a noise. He went like staring at it. Seconds later, I looked over, and he was just looking down at it like it had offended him in some way. And he just goes, I'm intimidated by this. I was like, you just eat it. It's just a food. It might fight back. It might fight back. It might fight back.
Starting point is 00:49:27 But they were all fine. They tasted like the pizza. Right. As we said, Papa John's pizza is fine. It's pizza. I guess before he left, maybe it was better. I can't really remember. I think he's wrong.
Starting point is 00:49:39 It kind of tasted the same, to be honest. I think it tasted exactly the same. Yeah. I don't know who to believe. Did he pull off his arm hair and put it in the pizza? What are they missing? He like spit in it. Oh, the special sauce. When actually, we didn't tell you this, when Papa John left, they
Starting point is 00:49:51 executed every cook they had. Do you have a regime change? They had to start over. Yeah, the old guard had to go. So now it's totally different. Maybe I need to eat like 37 more and then I'll know for sure if it's bad or not. You start picking up the nuances like I did with the bacon cheeseburger.
Starting point is 00:50:10 The bacon barbecue burger. On your fifth or sixth time, it's a whole new sandwich. So I had, you know, not a whole lot of problems with it, to be honest. I think a fair score is 85. Wow! It was pretty good. Damn really i think my favorite one was the uh what the italian papadia wow i'm blown away right i enjoyed eating this is like the 100 eat food for jordan it was, it was, it had everything I need. Pizza. End of list.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Pizza, toppings. It had fun little sauces I could dip in. I mean, they're not toppings, they're insides. They were very, they were very difficult to dip.
Starting point is 00:50:56 That's kind of on top. They're, they're difficult to dip in, in the very small sauce thing. Yeah, they need more like a tub shape. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Than a circle because they're folded slices of pizza. But as we discussed, this is just a budget thing. They took pizza and folded it in half. They're not going to make custom sauce things for it. That's true. Nick, you got anything? You got any trick or nothing? Well, you're worthless.
Starting point is 00:51:20 I thought for sure he'd be like, here's what I do. Here's my trick. You hold it at a 45 degree angle and then, you know. You know what his trick is? Junk and dip. Just perseverance. Yeah. He just digs in.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Just keeps on. He's like, I just smashed it. He's pantomiming pouring the sauce. I'm not a fan of that. And that's. I'm never a fan of pouring. If it's in a cup, it stays in the cup. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Okay. It doesn't have a funnel on it. I guess that's the difference between you and the sauce man. You know what? You know what I realized over there? No rules. No. None. Zero. Zero rules over there? No rules. No, none.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Zero. Zero rules over there. That's why we have the barrier he tried to cross. We have rules over here. You stay on your island over there with your white claws piling up. Yeah, what's up with that? There's five of them on his desk. He's got a problem.
Starting point is 00:51:57 With white claws? This guy will just, yeah. He'll do anything to get sauce into his mouth. He poured all five of those white claws out. They're just filled with sauce. He re-closed them. He's doing like wine in a can. These are my White Claw sauces.
Starting point is 00:52:09 He's just drinking it. Disgusting. People go, you drink a White Claw during the day? And he goes, yeah. And then he's got a honey mustard mustache. Being a day drunk is less embarrassing than drinking sauce out of a can. I have to agree with Jordan.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I like them. His score shocks me. As I was eating them, I'm going, oh, he's going to rip this to shreds. Yeah, they were all pretty good. I mean, it's just a matter of topping. If you're into sausage or pepperoni or whatever, it was all pretty good. I couldn't taste the racism if it's there. Or maybe that means I'm racist.
Starting point is 00:52:48 I don't know. But, uh, uh-oh. You know, get a papadilla. Find something else. Find something out about yourself. I fucked that up. I butchered it. We'll save it in editing.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Still funny. We'll save it in editing. Can you just loop it twice? Yeah. Slow it down the second time, please. I think I like the cheesesteak the best. I really, the onions were quite delicious. They were crunchy onions.
Starting point is 00:53:08 I don't like onions in my pizza. Okay, well, this is my review. Yeah, but you reminded me. So I'm going to go down. What? Wow. 62. What?
Starting point is 00:53:19 I'm kidding. It's fine. Oh, my God. Dude. Eric goes about to throw his hands back in the air. You know what? You know what? It was good.
Starting point is 00:53:31 It wasn't phenomenal, but it was good. Yeah, that's why it's an 85. And it's in the ballpark. I'm going to take this opportunity. Do it. Boom. 85. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Put that calculator away. Damn. We did it. Average score of 85. Is that the highest? That might be the highest we had because the highest one was the Nashville Chicken, I believe. Yeah, that was in the 80s.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Yeah. That one was good though. Damn, that's crazy. These are also good. That's crazy. I can't believe it. I could have 90-somethinged if he tanked it, but like that just felt right. Yeah, that felt right. Also if he tanked it, but that just felt right. Yeah, that felt right. Also, you couldn't see it,
Starting point is 00:54:09 but I feel like you heard it even better. That was a great high five. That was a great high five. We nailed it. It was a good sound. It was good contact. Eric has a feather in his hair. I keep seeing it.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Where? What? Look down. Yeah. What happened? You fight a bird on your way in? Way on the back of your head. One white feather. There it is.
Starting point is 00:54:23 There it fell. Whoa. Yeah. That's from. Whoa. Yeah. That's from my pillow. It's been there all day. It's like two in the afternoon. How is that the funniest thing that happened in this episode? That's so stupid.
Starting point is 00:54:42 What the fuck? Wow. That's crazy. All right. Well, that's the Papa John's Pap stupid. What the fuck? Wow. That's crazy. Alright, well, uh, that's the, uh, Papa John's Papadia. Go get it. Actually, just order it. Don't go get it. There's no point for that. You know, uh, door dash it. Yay!
Starting point is 00:54:55 Look at that. I don't know if they're on door dash. I'm sure we walk with it or not. But, you know, maybe you'll go to door dash it, and then when they don't have it, just pick something else boom sponsorship saved there you go okay this is like fancy font this is the snack attack
Starting point is 00:55:10 time for a snack attack we're gonna suck a snack down and let you know what we think of it one bite hi guys love the podcast it has me laughing the whole time and I look forward to it every fortnight spelled fortnight right on the last one Michael said that you guys needed more things. Sent in for a Snack Attack segment. No longer
Starting point is 00:55:28 true. So I found something for it. I couldn't decide which flavor of this monstrosity to pick, so I send you all three. Thanks for such an awesome podcast, sincerely. Ken. Ken C. He put his last name on it. I put Ken C. I'm gonna throw it. Well, guys,
Starting point is 00:55:44 here's what we got. What the hell are these? Oh, it's pizza something. They're called meat heads. Meat heads. Okay. Pizza jerky. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:51 So it's jerky, but the bag, make sure we take a picture of that. Yeah. I love, I love that. The bag is shaped like a slice of pizza. Yep. So there are three different flavors. Oh, they smell. Like jerky and pizza.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Like jerky and pizza. The pepperoni smells like a dog treat. They're all going to smell like dog treats. What's that one, Jordan? This is Screamin' for Supreme. What the fuck is that? Bursting with bold pizza flavor. Alright, I'm going to go with the Oh, they're all pepperoni.
Starting point is 00:56:18 They're pepperoni jerky. Yeah. So one bite review. So this one's pepperoni pepperoni. It's literally called straight up pepperoni Yeah, I'm gonna try the Aloha Hawaiian Eric went to Hawaii Aloha It's all they taught me Bad we also I don't know how we're gonna review cuz we each ate different ones
Starting point is 00:56:40 No, well, that's because then then you take a bite of each of them. Okay? ones. Well, that's because then you take a bite of each of them. Okay. Jordan, what's your one-bite review of the straight-up pepperoni? 42. Michael, what's your one-bite review for the Hawaiian? Not great.
Starting point is 00:56:55 One bite. 30. Okay. What's your review of the Hawaiian, Jordan? 23 or something. 23. Michael, what's your review of the pepperoni? Oh, that one's better. 50. Pepperoni's better. review of the pepperoni? Oh, that one's better. Yeah. 50? 50?
Starting point is 00:57:06 Pepperoni's better. And now the last, not least, Hawaiian. Oh, no, Supreme. Supreme, sorry. What was the first one I said? This is dog food. 42. 35.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Oh, my God. It's like in the middle. Michael, how about you? What was my first one? You did. You gave 30 to the Hawaiian and 50 to the pepperoni. It's like a 35. 35.
Starting point is 00:57:32 So. The pepperoni was the best. And that's not saying a lot. No, it was not. It was the best. It kind of like dissolved in my mouth. It's weird texture. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:41 It's pepperoni jerkified. It's why. I would never choose to eat this. Nope. Fuck you, Ken. Oh, my God. OK, thank your dad for telling you about the podcast. So your scores for the straight up pepperoni average at forty six. Interesting for the blue on the Hawaiian one.
Starting point is 00:58:02 That's an average score of twenty six point five. for the blue and the Hawaiian one. That's an average score of 26.5. And keeping in the vein of what you guys did in the main show, you both gave the Supreme a score of 35, which averages to 35. Another one. I don't feel as good about this one.
Starting point is 00:58:19 It was lighter and I used my left hand. Yeah, weird. That's snack attack. If you want to send us more snacks, you don't have to. Yeah. Why don't you hit him with that? We have so many snacks now. You don't have to send any more snacks.
Starting point is 00:58:35 People are calling Eric the snack guy now. Yeah. I don't like it. So I'm going to give you the address just so you have future episodes. It is Face Jam Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You don't have to send anything else. We have so many snacks that I think we're going to do a special snack attack live stream on roosterteeth.com. So we go to roosterteeth.com. It'll we'll, we'll have a date and everything. We'll put it on, uh, the face jam Twitter at face jam pod in the, uh, probably coming weeks.
Starting point is 00:59:04 We'll let you know when it's going to be, but sign up for a first membership. You can watch. Again, you don't need to watch it for, if you're just enjoying the show the way that it is, great. But if you want to go check it out, the special Stack Attack stream where we're going to one-byte review,
Starting point is 00:59:17 boom, boom, boom, all these snacks that people have sent in, you're going to want to sign up at roosterteeth.com and you can watch that Snack Attack live at an upcoming date. And you'll finally be able to see us. Yes that will be i will say that will be a video version of the show yeah but it will be different because we are doing the one bite reviews yeah only it's not like a regular show i'm gonna wear a mask i was just gonna say i was gonna say my name is michael yeah they don't know Yeah. I can cut a mouth hole out.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Oh, that's good. I mean, like, dude, Robin, it was just like a boop. Oh, I was thinking of like a whole horse head. I don't know why a whole horse head was the mask. A horse head. Yeah. I don't know why that was the mask that I went to. That's a weird first thing to jump to.
Starting point is 00:59:57 100%. And, you know, if you want to see pictures of what we're talking about, check out the Face Jam Twitter at Face Jam Pod. P-O-D stands for podcast. Or payable on death, that band. pictures of what we're talking about uh check out the face jam twitter at face jam pod pod stands for podcast um or payable on death that band remember pod no it's ours now though we got it oh now i feel so alive face jam you know rate and subscribe uh and we have a shirt coming yes i have seen it i talked to the shirt guy today. He said that shirts are coming. We will have shirt information soon. Much like today's score, Jordan and I agreed. And we said, this is the one.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Yep. That's it. We did it. Yep. That's it. No discussion. You can also see us at RTX July 3rd to 3rd. Let's take two.
Starting point is 01:00:41 You can see us at RTX July 3rd through 5th. We're going to be doing a live show there what food will we be reviewing? I will see but you can see our live show there I know what it is I can say it that's a tease I learned from him so you want to get tickets at rtxevent.com
Starting point is 01:01:00 you can check us out live there so that'll be fun there you go it will be 100 fun oh that's not true there's no way it will be yeah it'll be like 60 80 tops that's an average score of 70 so if you like that check it out rtxevent.com wow all right i'm gonna go throw up okay cool bye

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