100% Eat - Pizza Hut The Edge Pizza

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Pizza Hut The Edge Pizza so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Pizza Hut getting into a KFC situation with Papa John's,... proposing at a fast food restaurant, old Firefox data, and more. Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/facejam) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam16 + code Facejam16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth production. sigh at the beginning. He complains if I don't talk. He complains if I do. You can't win with this guy. It's unwinnable. It's an unwinnable situation. His producer style is really get it right, you'll know when you get it wrong. Yeah, get it right. Dude, I get it right every time. And he just goes. Give me the intro again.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Yeah, yeah, it's a good idea. Are you still eating over there? He's eating. He put down his fucking food. He did his job. He played the intro. Now he gets to eat pizza for the next hour. I'm going to do this Eric style.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Yeah. Welcome to Face Jam. The show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably, probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones. Alongside my waggy dog, wacky dog jordan how are you and then add like a space sound effect like it's pretty good like i'm shooting off the outer space
Starting point is 00:01:12 i like it waka waka excellent today we're reviewing pizza hut the edge pizza no bono i mean this feels like it feels like a deal that happened with the edge and then he dropped that last second they were too far along it was like the little caesars batman pizza where they were like just take a regular pizza
Starting point is 00:01:39 and put it in bat form you too did a song for a batman movie in the 90s I bet we can get the Edge. That'll get us competing with Little Caesars. Little Caesars is now the official pizza of the NFL and Pizza Hut has to be pissed about that. Oh, man. Pizza Hut, they still have a
Starting point is 00:01:56 mat in that Pizza Hut we were in that says the official... What are you doing? He's like dancing. Okay. It still says the official pizza of the NFL. But is it dated? Oh, it's dated now. Is it timestamped though?
Starting point is 00:02:10 It doesn't say copyright 2017 or anything. If you say anything, they just point at it. Right. It's like, no, we can still have it here. It's part of the old Firefox data. I was going to ask you. I think it's in that folder. So let's talk about this pizza hut right off the had pizza is this our first repeat pizza our first uh two
Starting point is 00:02:29 pete um yeah yeah right the first time we've ever repeated i think yeah that sounds right what's our past experience with the restaurant yeah best pizza in the game probably the last time we had it for this show uh-huh is my past experience yeah so like does anyone here regularly get pizza hut no right do you know anyone who does i i don't know i don't associate with pizza i can just say the same thing i've said every single time of the 19 times we've had pizza hut where i i'm a domino's we are domino's family knows through and through the whole face jam as a whole is it yeah because they have the best pizza i'm sorry of the Of the like, but not Little Frankie's. That's someone right now.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Little Frankie's. Done. It's in Illinois. Little Frankie's. It's on 3rd Street. It's not on 5th anymore. Probably sucks anyway. That burned down.
Starting point is 00:03:16 But they're like, that's the best pizza in the game. It's actually hotter where I am. But of the big pizza fights, I mean, Eno is easily the best. But every now and then, I'll settle for Pizza Hut because they have real breadsticks. I'd rather do Papa John's than Pizza Hut. Honestly, Little Caesars is creeping up to two for me. Wow. I just can't get Little Caesars delivered to my house.
Starting point is 00:03:40 The man of the people nature of Little Caesars. And it's the official pizza of the NFL. I was going to say, I think what happened is thatars. And it's the official pizza of the NFL. I was going to say, I think what happened is that Little Caesars became the official pizza of the NFL and Jordan went,
Starting point is 00:03:49 oh, I like it. Oh, this might be good. This is stealing the deal. I feel like they've had a renaissance ever since they started appearing on FaceTime.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Jordan has just, he's always said, I like whoever won the Super Bowl last year and I like whoever is the official pizza of the NFL. My favorite team is whoever won the Super Bowl last year. I like whoever is the official pizza of the NFL. My favorite team is whoever won.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I'm a diehard Rams fan through and through. And I also love little Caesars. Do you think like. They won the pizza Super Bowl. Do you think if this momentum continues, they're going to have to change their name to Big Caesars? Wow. I hadn't thought about becoming a larger Caesar. Right.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Just like. But I mean, they're doing it. You don't want to become too big of a Caesar because then your friends stab you in the back 23 times. If you stay a little Caesar, you can kind of dodge all the knives. When you become an emperor Caesar, watch out.
Starting point is 00:04:35 You can flip, Brutus tries to stab you in the back and you flip over him and then you stab him six times. Then you say, eat to Brutus. I think you guys are I think you guys are all pointing out great examples. They should do this. It's true. And the marketing rights itself, right?
Starting point is 00:04:50 They could just do like an arc of it, you know? And they go back to Little Caesars at the end of it. Right. It's like when they killed the peanut. Oh! Yeah, they killed the peanut. Remember fucking Baby Nut? Baby Nut.
Starting point is 00:05:01 And then COVID happened. And then they went, never mind. He's regular. He's normal. Baby Nut. He's normal nut again we can't afford any anyone to stop buying plant please please please please buy the regular nut he's normal he's not a baby he's not a baby he's not a baby that was the fucking craziest campaign where they just decided mr peanut's fucking dead yeah it was like it was like a who shot mr burn style style how'd he die? You remember Mr. Peanut? Yeah, I mean, I guess so.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Good. He's fucking dead now. Good. We got a gun to his head. What are you gonna do? Save him now. Too late. He's dead. Yeah. We will destroy this beloved mascot. I haven't thought about Mr. Peanut since like 2003. Yeah, and you never will again. I also never
Starting point is 00:05:43 thought of Mr. Peanut as something that could Yeah, and you never will again. I also never thought of Mr. Peanut as something that could die. You just kind of seem like an inanimate object. Yeah, really. No, I thought he'd always be there for me. It's like him and like the three guys from Pep Boys. Like I just, I never considered. The Jolly Green Giant.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah, I never considered their deaths or mortality. But I guess I suppose with Little Caesar, it supposes that the normal Caesar was in existence. And so, I guess there's a mortality to Little Caesar unless he's some
Starting point is 00:06:12 sort of magic man. He becomes teenager Caesar? Yeah. As long as no one takes away my Michelin Man. That's, oh. Throwing tires off his body
Starting point is 00:06:20 to throw in her car. Yeah, he just looks like Stay Puft Marshmallow. He looks exactly like Stay Puft Marshmallow. You just want to take a bite, but it's rubber. It's like licking a tire.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I don't give this three stars. I personally can't wait for the Lemu Emu and Doug arc where they end up busting the cartel or something. Lemu Emu is going to go down. All cops are bastards and Lemu Emu is not. He Well, Limu Imu is going to go down. All cops are bastards, and Limu Imu is not He's not exempt from that.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Limu Imu is not. No, absolutely not. Limu Imu is law enforcement, and he will go down. He's enforcing the status quo, and I'm not for the Limu Imu or Doug. Fuck them. There's going to be an ad campaign doug has to pick which one to
Starting point is 00:07:06 shoot and it's like an ostrich and an emu and he's too dumb to tell the difference oh wow and then we got baby lemu emu and then there's another plague and then he'd go never mind he's regular so we all cyclical yeah yeah yeah to answer your question eric it sucks pizza hut sucks and has sucked for a long time. Yeah. It never, it didn't dawn on me how clearly they sucked since we started Face Jam. I agree. It's true. I drifted away from Pizza Hut to Domino's a long time ago, but I never thought Pizza Hut sucks.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I just went, Domino's is getting good. Yeah. And Face Jam really brought it to my attention at how fucking shit Pizza Hut has become. Have we had Domino's on the show yet? I think we have, right? For an episode? We've had it in some manner. We've had it for the van episodes.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Yeah. But I don't think we've ever done an Eno special. I'm not sure. We must have. I don't know. We have done Pizza Hut a couple of times, though. Too many. I mean, after this one.
Starting point is 00:08:04 It's good to be reminded every now and again why it's so bad the stupid taco pizza dominoes oh i think i think dominoes was something dumb because we all went god why didn't we why couldn't we just have regular dominoes it's true it was like a cheeseburger taco pizza yeah you want cheeseburgers you want tacos yeah let's get a fucking pizza. Yeah. Make everyone unhappy. Yeah. This sauce is mustard and ketchup. This sauce is what? Y'all.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I remember. I remember. Domino's. This sucks. Why? Yeah. Because it shouldn't. Mustard and ketchup.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Being very disappointed in them. And the parking lot. Yeah. What was the parking lot? We ate it in the fucking parking lot because we weren't allowed to go in the building. The parking lot. That's what the parking lot was. Standing outside eating it. Not a parking lot at Standing outside eating on that fucking hood of your car.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Go put mustard on my car. I will say that Pizza Hut, I think we talked about this last time we had Pizza Hut also, but that was like the last episode in person that we did before we had to go into quarantine in COVID and then eat on my car for a year. Still recovering. We got to eat off your car for a year. Yeah, until we get there. And then Jordan goes,
Starting point is 00:09:09 why don't we just go inside? Have you considered? Yeah. Well, it was pretty dumb of you. Yeah, I'm a fucking, yeah, I'm a real fucking idiot. I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but. But check this out.
Starting point is 00:09:19 We could have at least gone into the bathroom. That was inside. That was probably air conditioned. It did have a sign only one person at a time. We could have bent the rules. Yeah, we could have all gone into the bathroom
Starting point is 00:09:31 and recorded it. What if they were like one person at a time and then they said we are Face Jam. Collectively, we are one. And then Monkey yelled ook, ook.
Starting point is 00:09:41 And threw his feces at them. Can't argue with that. Nope. Can't argue with that. Won't argue with that. Nope. Can't argue with that. Won't argue with that. Nope. I'm done here. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:09:48 I'll read the haiku then. I'll keep us moving. Trying to keep it tight. I like it. Trying to keep it tight. Yeah, I'm pooped after RTX, man. I'm pooped after this pizza. The thing is, like, I got pizza poop.
Starting point is 00:10:01 You're down there. I got RTX poop. Uh-huh. But also... You gotta scream. Nick's worried. I got RTX poop. But also... You got screen. Nick's worried. I don't give a fuck about Nick. The thing about it is,
Starting point is 00:10:09 I'm just so... My schedule's so free after RTX. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what to do with all this free time! Let's hear that haiku! Pizza with no edge. Toppings that can't be contained.
Starting point is 00:10:26 And they're on the floor. Like me. Okay. I'm going to say there was an edge and they were contained. Are you sure? I don't know if contained is the right word.
Starting point is 00:10:44 They were there and they were certainly on top. Yeah, they were on top. They were solidly on top. In a distribution of some sort. I don't know if they were solidly on top. They were. They were strewn on top. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:10:56 About as far on top as you could be. There was almost something between the pizza and the toppings. There was some sort of invisible layer. It was the cooked cheese and pepperoni and then they went, oh, fuck, I forgot the toppings. It was some sort of invisible layer. It was the cooked cheese and pepperoni and then they went, oh fuck, I forgot the onions. It looked like the pizzas were cooked, made, walking out the door and then
Starting point is 00:11:14 the pizza cooker said, oh no! And the guy carrying the box, assuming there was two guys, there weren't. There was just one. But assuming there were two, first guy is like, oh no! And he goes, open the box! And there was two guys, there were, there was just one. But assuming there were two, first guy is like, oh no! And he goes, open the box! And the second guy opens the box and he throws the toppings across the room
Starting point is 00:11:30 onto the pizza and he goes, saved it. That was close. And then closed it and handed it to us. And then we took it back here and opened it and went, what? It really looked like they had gotten done cutting vegetables and all the pieces that they were throwing away in a bucket.
Starting point is 00:11:48 They threw on top of this pizza we ordered. You know, you ever get a Lunchables build your own pizza and you just kind of put the pepperoni on? It was less fused than that. It was less fused than that. Yeah. They, it looked like they went to a subway and just ask for some stuff. Can you just put it on top?
Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah. Sprinkle it. Like in the, no, not in it. Yeah. What do you think? On it.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Were you fucking nuts? Put it on top. Uh, they were also cold. The pizzas were how? For, for, For him saying, I don't know if it's done yet, and then there it is.
Starting point is 00:12:29 He was talking about it resting, not cooking. Yeah. You gotta let it rest. After it's done, you let it rest for about an hour. It was definitely sitting there for too long.
Starting point is 00:12:38 You opened it up when we got back, and you opened up the pizza, and I looked at it, and I went, that looks not warm. Like, just from the look. You could just look, and you go, I bet that's room temperature pizza.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Right, and then how did it feel? I wish it were room temperature. Yeah. I think you said, yep, it tastes just how it looks. And that Pizza Hut is what, seven minutes away? Yeah, it ain't far. It didn't far. It didn't travel an hour back.
Starting point is 00:13:09 It felt like we went to a different time and place. Yeah. I was a little concerned because the area in which that Pizza Hut is located is in that area where you and I got lost coming home from the Austin FC game that one time where we were like kind of worried about where we were. It's where you're driving down the street.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Running into some hooligans after the game. It's nighttime, and there's children playing in the street, and you go, they might not even live here. And then stray dogs, and you go. And then a man with no shirt drinking out of a brown paper bag walking down the street. Yeah, but don't worry. Him and his friends were all hanging out in the parking lot
Starting point is 00:13:41 listening to the DJ on the roof of the convenience store. There was some weird stuff going on. A pop-up tent. There was some chill vibes happening. I wish we felt inclined to investigate that. No one was in the parking lot we pulled into and we still
Starting point is 00:14:00 couldn't get out of there fast enough. It really was like what is happening here? Wow, look at how big this pizza hut is. This should be fine. And then we go in, and it's about eight feet by five feet? It's about the size of that
Starting point is 00:14:15 Fazoli's. I would say it was smaller. Yeah, definitely. But it looked nicer. Right, but the rest, the pizza hut was huge. Right, the outside, it was like the reverse, like Hermione's bag effect. Right, right the rest, the pizza hut was huge. Right. The outside, it was like the reverse, like, Hermione's bag effect. Right, right, right. It's so big on the outside and so small on, no, I'm not a nerd. So the pizza hut was real big on the outside and real small on the inside.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Like Hermione's bag. Wow. And also. You mean like a phone booth? No no like a police box oh the guy how do they fit in there the one guy who worked there knew we were there i made eye contact with him although it was very small and there was four of us speaking to each other right the only way he couldn't have known he definitely he saw me we made eye contact And then he just kept going about his business. And then finally walked over and was like flustered.
Starting point is 00:15:11 And I just said, I have an online order for Eric. And then he handed it. Well, it was like, I don't know if it's ready. And then he handed me the pizzas. And then he went, who's next? He did. Because he saw three other guys. And he was like, I don't have pizzas for these guys.
Starting point is 00:15:22 What the hell's going on? And then no one was next. We all just fucking left. He was just like, oh fuck, their pizzas aren't even resting yet. They're gonna be here a while. I didn't even forget to put the toppings on it yet. It felt like, like the inside I say
Starting point is 00:15:39 it was tiny, but it was nice at least compared to the fazolis. But in a way that it's clearly a fabricated fake nice right like I feel like someone took like a paintbrush on MS Paint and just kind of clicked like
Starting point is 00:15:55 hardwood and just swiped it over the floor or if you peeled it back it was made of sponge I was like tapping the wall Jordan was tapping the brick wall I was putting my ear's why I was like, I was like, but it looked, Jordan was tapping the brick wall. I was putting my ear up to it. It was like,
Starting point is 00:16:07 I feel like because, because it looked like a set, the doors in the middle, it did look like a set. The doors in the middle of the building. Yeah. So, and the building is very wide.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Also, there were two doors and we got lucky that we chose the right one. It's true. Otherwise we would have been working at the, you fall into a trap and you become the pizza. The guy was hoping. He's like, I was almost free.
Starting point is 00:16:32 The curse nearly lifted. But like, the wall is right next to the door. So it's like, where's the rest of the restaurant? Where's the rest of the inside? So I was like feeling the wall being like, is it hollow? Like, did they just put this up? I thought we were about to walk into like a pizza hut buffet situation where it was going to be like a full restaurant inside and then instead it was the
Starting point is 00:16:53 smallest room i've ever been in and and then when you go outside you see that all the like the curtains are drawn and some of them are like all blackout windows. Like no one in the parking lot. It was fucking weird. It's like that Burger King they found in the mall that they had just sealed up. And it was like perfectly preserved. Like if you knock down that brick wall, it's good. 1970. You might come back to it later, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Come on back. Don't tell me that wouldn't be a sweet hideout for the Ninja Turtles, though. Wow. You know what I mean? Like, like there's hanging out in that old Burger King. Right. Right in plain sight.tles though. Wow. You know what I mean? Like, like there's hanging out in that old Burger King, right? Right in plain sight. Nobody knows.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Yep. We could be the new Ninja Turtles. Wow. But then we have to be in that pizza hut. Although, I want to be DJ sets right next door.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Yeah, really. There's music 24-7 whether you want it or not. I want to be a robot spider. You want to be a robot spider you want to be a robot spider yeah was that
Starting point is 00:17:46 one of those like from Ninja Turtles yeah where was the robot spider Baxter right those were like those were called mousers
Starting point is 00:17:51 yeah but they they were probably spiders too I don't know spiders probably showed up at some point you know what I will say there probably were some spiders
Starting point is 00:17:59 and if they did that's what Michael that's what I'm gonna be got it okay cool I could be I could be a fucked up mouser that just thinks he's a spider. I could just be dumb.
Starting point is 00:18:09 You know what I mean? Just be like, yo, what's up? I'm a spider. I'm going to see what's going on with a spider. You look like a mouse. Baxter's going, what the fuck's up with this thing? Don't get caught in my web. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I mean, yeah, you're a spider, whatever. Go get the turtles, okay? And then you try to climb up the, yeah, you're a spider, whatever. Go get the turtles. Okay. And then you try to climb up the wall. No, but that's how I become tight with the turtles. Because I, well, you get all mixed up. Well, I'm a spider and I also think they're giant ants. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And I keep going, we're going to get these fucking turtles. And they're like, yeah, man, sure. I swear to God, I'm going to kill them. Can you help me find them? I'm gonna fuck these fucking turtles up These turtles are fucked Yeah dude Cowabunga
Starting point is 00:18:51 Oh man Alright let's learn about Pizza Hut Oh god Man you must be really scraping the barrel at this point 100% I feel like you're scraping the barrel at the first time 100% Okay
Starting point is 00:19:04 Good start Our previous Carl's Jr. episode at the first time. A hundred percent. Okay. Our previous Carl's Jr. episode was released. Did you really not know it said that? You're fucking useless. Hold on. Just the back and forth. Let me just finish this. Our previous Carl's Jr. episode was released March 1st 2022 where we ate the
Starting point is 00:19:22 spicy lover's pizza. It received an average score of 21. The snack attack snack was Jack in the Box's bacon loaded nacho tiny tacos, which intern Kat brought. I don't know if any of that is right. It's all right. It's all right.
Starting point is 00:19:37 It all feels wrong. I don't know what to believe. When was the last time we had Carl's Jr.? Primal Angus Burger. How did you get it? It was like months ago. How did you combine facts? Years even.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Yeah, right? Combine facts. How did you start with Carl's Jr. and then switch over to pizza? Because I have a template. Because I have a template from the previous. But usually it's wrong or it's right. I don't know. Yeah, I just forgot the Carl's Jr. part on that one.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Right, but so was the Culver's episode, did it also say Carl's Jr.? No. Or did you just not say the Culver's one? No, he went further back. Why? Why? Because it was the one that guys saw first.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Because he had the old Firefox data. No, because Culver's, that was the first time that we went to Culver's, so I didn't have the template for our previous episode. Your system sucks. I agree. I don't like it. If only we had an intern.
Starting point is 00:20:26 God damn it. I don't want to do this anymore. Let's hire Kat. Where's she? She works here. No, where? I don't see her. Hello?
Starting point is 00:20:32 It's just a different show. But why would you want to, you brought the Jack in the Box, the vile Jack in the Box tacos. That didn't happen. Shut up. Read the next one. Pizza Hut New Zealand.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Pizza Hut New Zealand created A maritime No no Pizza Hut New Zealand created a maritime Stuffed submarine pizza Pizza Hut New Zealand created A marmite stuffed pizza And tooted it As a vitamin filled healthy pizza We are tooted it, touted, as a vitamin-filled healthy pizza.
Starting point is 00:21:05 We are tooting it as gross. Well, pizza is technically a vegetable, according to the Surgeon General. I mean, and then imagine it's filled with Marmite. Which is like the scrapings of yeast after you cook bread, right? I'm taking this pizza into custody
Starting point is 00:21:22 under martial law. Under Marmite law. You're coming with me to King Triton. That sounds gross. Yeah. Would not eat that. You don't have to do anything, though, to make Pizza Hut sound gross anymore. You just say Pizza Hut.
Starting point is 00:21:42 That's true. Sorry, Pizza Hut. I kind of just assumed that it has Marmite in it. You've done this to. That's true. Sorry, Pizza Hut. I kind of just assumed that it has Marmite in it. You've done this to yourself, Neem. Pizza Hut founder Frank Carney
Starting point is 00:21:49 was sued by Pizza Hut when he left the business, then invested in Papa John's, even appearing in commercials slamming Pizza Hut.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Pizza Hut sued and the case went all the way to the Supreme Court. This ought to be good. The most important court for deciding what you're allowed to do with your body and also what to do if a pizza was mean to another pizza. I rest my case.
Starting point is 00:22:19 He did the Colonel Sanders thing. Was the case called, like hut v papa johns yeah oh yeah oh my god supreme court sided with papa johns oh that's interesting for a litany of reasons i assume but uh yeah i imagine their values are aligned in a lot of ways they're trying to give papa his restaurant back. They're like, just bring us the case. Like, he really tried to, like, Colonel Sanders, this fucking thing. Colonel Sanders was like, I'm done with KFC, but I'm starting another chicken restaurant. This guy was like, I'm done with Pizza Hut. I'm just going to go with Papa John's.
Starting point is 00:22:58 And then he made commercials where he's, like, appearing to the board. And he's like, I found a Pizza Hut. And I finally found pizza that's better than you guys. And then it's Papa John's. And it's like, that like that's fucking insane i mean it's not hard to find pizza better than pizza hut either yeah i think maybe pizza should have been listening yeah hey someone's just like frank has a point what you didn't know is in those commercials It was an actual Pizza Hut board They all agreed to be in it
Starting point is 00:23:28 They didn't know It's true We're still getting paid for it Yeah this sucks In 2012 Which was the end of the world Pizza Hut released a limited edition Perfume that smelled like
Starting point is 00:23:44 Don't laugh Nick That smelled like dough and spices. Only 100 Facebook fans want a bottle. And Nick has assured me that he only breaks his out on special occasions. On date nights when they go to Fazoli's. Ooh, honey, I'm going to smell like dough. Well, that's just fucked up. You can't be smelling like dough at a Fazoli you might get eaten by those experienced eaters smells better than fazoli's in here is the dough and spices like the seasoning they put on the the breadsticks i have what does
Starting point is 00:24:17 that mean also is it like cooked dough what is raw dough oh you smell like raw dough. Oh, honey. Oh, my God. I'm chanting. I'm pushing all my buttons. Oh, my gosh. You smell like raw dough. Well, it tastes like raw dough. It tastes like I'm eating Pizza Hut. Incredible. Raw dough. Noted aphrodisiac. Just taking
Starting point is 00:24:39 bites out of raw dough. Oh, man. And finally, also, as the world ended in 2012 john cusack in that film a valentine's day promotion where you could propose to your significant other was offered if you proposed at a pizza hut you would get a limo a ruby ring fireworks flowers a photographer and a ten dollar meal box all for ten thousand and ten dollars the fuck now you have a story to tell every time you drive by that pizza location and you tell people that's where she said no that's where i went broke and got broken up with $10,000. I was like,
Starting point is 00:25:26 it was like, you can, you can do it. And like, we'll provide all of it. They will. They will. They will.
Starting point is 00:25:31 After you write $10,000. I like how the $10. Well, that's for the, that's for the meal box. Yeah. That's so you know the value. They could have thrown that in for free,
Starting point is 00:25:39 but they didn't. Yeah. It's a, it's a real fuck you. Truly. It's just like, hey, are you fucking dumb enough to do this?
Starting point is 00:25:47 It will be an extra $10 for this meal box. For the meal box. But we're not throwing that in. Actually, though, it was, it does work out because all things separate
Starting point is 00:25:55 cost over $3,000. I was going to say, not that expensive. Oh, my God. Flowers. Flowers. Non-descript Ruby ring. Hello. It's Ruby. Expensive. Oh, my God. Flowers? Nondescript ruby ring? Hello?
Starting point is 00:26:07 It's ruby. I think Pizza Hut's running some sort of NFT scam through this. Yes, yeah. Ruby ring. Yeah. Hey, you want a ruby ring? Sign me up. Guys, we got a limo.
Starting point is 00:26:20 That's right. Let the limo pick you up at your house and let it be a surprise for her. And she goes, oh my gosh, where are we going? In this nice limo. And then you pull up to a pizza hut and she goes, haha, so where are we going? Where all her friends and family are waiting
Starting point is 00:26:37 with their own $10 meal boxes that they paid for themselves. But they're just there by coincidence because why the fuck would you do this? They're in the very small room, so it's a little crowded. That's when they open up the brick wall and really let the Pizza Hut breathe.
Starting point is 00:26:52 You gotta pay the construction workers. For the ceremonies. Yep. $10,000 labor included. Tear it down! Holy hell. Those are some interesting facts. Man, I wonder who did that.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I don't know. Probably that guy who got married at the Taco Bell. Yeah, got engaged at the Pizza Hut, married at the Taco Bell. Gonna get divorced at a Dairy Queen. I'm at the Pizza Hut Taco Bell. Oh, shit. You got a lot down there. You can do it all.
Starting point is 00:27:25 You could be a thruple. He's got to stand in the middle. Do you take this Dairy Queen and also this pizza? I'm married to Yum Brands. Each partner can be dressed like the food of their choice. Oh, fuck, dude. Oh, my God. My mother told me never to settle until a man treated me like a queen.
Starting point is 00:27:54 I didn't know it would be a dairy queen. So anyway, I'm stuck now. I don't believe in divorce. We're very Catholic. You want to kind of put some toppings on this pizza on this post cooked pizza anybody got any onions now would be the
Starting point is 00:28:13 time speak now and forever hold this claim the limo guy walks out got onions and peppers they're paying him $20 to drive sound. I've got onions and peppers. They're paying him $20 to drive people around and deliver pizzas. That limo driver is making up to $20
Starting point is 00:28:33 an hour. You guys making a cool $14.40 driving that limo around. You're not going to believe gas. They don't tell you where it starts, but it's up to $20. They tell you where it will never be. Oh my god. Fuck. Wow. So don't get married at a fast food restaurant will never be. Oh my God. Fuck. Wow. So don't get married at a fast food restaurant. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Please don't. Yeah. Like be above that. Or even if you, if you are right, don't do it as a promotion. Yeah. Do it for the love of the degenerate that you and your significant other are. Seems like a, like a right. If you're just like, yo, I i'm gonna go to taco bell and get
Starting point is 00:29:05 married and not tell taco bell i'll give you more credit than signing up for the ten thousand dollar ten thousand ten dollar pizza hut package why did you get married taco bell felt like it yeah oh okay did you get any free no they didn't even know we were coming they kept asking us us to leave, and I said no. They kept going, sir, what are you doing? Sir, what are you doing? Sir. It was a flash mob wedding at a pizza hut.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I just kept saying, I bought a taco. I can use as many sauces as I want. Dude, I'm Can I say I'm very excited to learn Just what went into this pizza Break it down Jordan, you want to teach us about the pizza? Here we go, Pizza Hut, the edge The ultimate, that's a lot of those
Starting point is 00:30:01 It's like when you translate The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim to the Angels, the Angels. A large, thin, crispy crust loaded to the edge with pepperoni, Italian sausage, green bell peppers, red onions, and Roma tomatoes. All thrown on at the end of cooking. Sprinkled with garlic and herb seasoning and cut into 16 pieces. It's true, it was. That one won. Do we know that for sure? No.
Starting point is 00:30:31 I mean, I didn't count the pieces, but it was more than eight. Yeah, I'll give it that. It wasn't triangles, which would be such a weird way to cut this pizza. It's true. Anyway, Pizza Hut The Edge pepperoni lovers, a large, thin, crispy crust loaded to the edge with pepperoni. Pepperoni. And more pepperoni. It wasn't that much pepperoni.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Sprinkled with garlic and herb seasoning and cut into 16 pieces. Wrong! This one was cut into slices and we could not believe our eyes. It was the one we opened first. It's like, they've already done it wrong. Jordan opened it and you filmed it and he just went, this is wrong. Yeah. It was like showing Leslie the switchboard.
Starting point is 00:31:11 It really was. Wow. It was like, oh. Presbyterian. Yeah. They just, they cut one into squares and not the other. I don't know why they didn't do it. I liked the triangle one better.
Starting point is 00:31:23 But that's, that was the pepperoni. Yeah. But there also wasn't, you better. But that was the pepperoni. Yeah. But there also wasn't, you're right, not that much pepperoni. That was a normal amount. Until this moment, that, first of all, being cut in the triangles like normal and had normal pepperoni, it was just a pizza. Yes. It was a pizza that had a little bit thin crust.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Yeah. Yeah. It was flat. Nothing else about it. No. The fact that it has a promotional paragraph about it is insanity. Pepperoni, pepperoni, and more pepperoni. You call it flat as fuck pepperoni pizza.
Starting point is 00:31:54 I think, though, that description of pepperoni, pepperoni, and more pepperoni might have been one slice. No. There are three pepperonis on it. They used that amount to cover an entire pizza. They went, here's pepperoni, and then here's pepperoni, and then here's more pepperoni. No, there's one. There's one.
Starting point is 00:32:09 That counts. There you go. More pepperoni. Three on each. Yeah. You're welcome. Presbyterial. Quote, the edge is a pizza our customers constantly ask us to bring back.
Starting point is 00:32:20 What customers? Name names. Yeah. I didn't see any of the one we went to. Give me a goddamn whistleblower. Yeah. Who's customering and talking about it? Who keeps going to these places?
Starting point is 00:32:31 Really? Besides us. Yeah. And we don't request this. The only thing we want back is Wendy's Pretzel Pub cheeseburger. Give us the goddamn burger. That's all we want. Give us the Wendy's Pretzel Pub.
Starting point is 00:32:44 You can shove the cheeseburger up your ass. Even I don't want the chicken. Even's all we want. Give us the Wendy's pretzel pub. You can shove the cheeseburger up your ass. Even I only want the chicken. Even though it was okay. Goddamn burger. Chicken. Anyone who loves thin crust pizzas loaded with toppings will love the edge, said David Graves. Oh, appropriate name. General
Starting point is 00:33:00 manager pizza hut. A general manager like at a store? No, just general manager. Okay, just making sure. He's a manager like at a store or just like general manager okay just making sure he's a manager like just generally like general grievous yeah yeah he's he's the general he's got two arms and then like they open up and he's got four pizza cutters. Well, the guy who was working at the pizza hut cut the regular one in like the regular slices. And then David Grievous came over and he went, here, I'll show you. And then all of his arms came out.
Starting point is 00:33:38 He said, he went, Kenobi. Yeah, he went, he went, look at my collection. He had a bunch of pizza cutters dangling. And then he started slicing and that's why they had to put all the toppings on top, because he cut all the toppings off. And then he just sort of died. Yeah. He got shot in the heart? I remember when he came in, because that guy's coughing.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Yeah, I remember when he came in, and he was like, General Gravis is here. And everyone went, when were you introduced as the general and then he sort of died you just walked you just walked into the bridge here yeah which i call the kitchen yeah he walked into the bridge and announced and i'm here as always general graves we were all working there and he was just sort of introduced well i mean we were there watching everyone working he was just sort of introduced and we didn't ask a lot of questions because it's like, oh, maybe I was wrong. Yeah, maybe I'm not caught up on the Pizza Hut war
Starting point is 00:34:31 as much as I know here. He wasn't even so much introduced as referenced like he had been introduced, but he definitely had not been. Kind of like it was my fault for not knowing. Yeah, exactly. I kind of got my attention. Usually when a new manager gets hired,
Starting point is 00:34:43 they say, hi, I'm the new manager. And that's how you know them. But this manager was just managering already. Yeah, and everyone was just kind of talking about him like we should know that he was already the manager. But again, it's that thing where you're like, well, maybe I'm wrong. They have all this saved old Firefox data. It was in the old data. It was on the monitor.
Starting point is 00:34:59 What happened is there was old Firefox data in the monitor, but then Pizza Hut got bought out. Right. And then the new owner said, none of that old data is canon anymore. It's all gone. None of it made sense. Because that folder, it exists still, but you access it and you just go,
Starting point is 00:35:16 well, none of this matters. This is all old Firefox data. Don't even get me started on the Knights of Enos. Oh, dude. Those guys. Also not fleshed out. They were introduced like I was supposed to know who they were. Yeah, but, you know, again.
Starting point is 00:35:33 And then you went, wow, I'm really excited for that. Oh, they're gone? I wonder what their journey through this Pizza Hut is going to be. I can't wait to, I assume, play a video game that involves what it is. And then, like, they were all working for the B-Tod guy, but then all of a sudden he was with Papa John's fighting him. It didn't make any sense. And they kept
Starting point is 00:35:53 saying, we're your knights. And he said, I'm no knight. And there was jizz, and he was fighting them. It was wild. His mom was there, but she was a witch. These bald giants just walking around. No one knows
Starting point is 00:36:15 what's going on. Nude. Yeah. And then one guy just keeps going, incredible movie, incredible movie. Cinema. Cinema. Cinema. Anybody else want pizza? I'm thinking pizza. This podcast is for six people and four of them are here. It got narrowed down real quick at the end there. We got to tell the other guy.
Starting point is 00:36:39 I took a picture with him five years ago. Oh, my God. Fuck, dude. Oh, Jesus Christ. Hi, Wes. Anyway. Fuck, dude. Oh, Jesus Christ. Hi, Wes. Anyway. He texted me. He's like, I have a baseball game in San Antonio this weekend. Do you want to come?
Starting point is 00:36:52 And I'm like, this is a long way. Yeah, that's a long way to go for Sandlot baseball. Yeah, exactly. When I went last time and I had to participate. I mean, pinned tweet. Yeah, of course. Of course. Oh, well. Oh, hello there.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Kenobi. David Gravis. Oh, I saw. Oh, man. All right, we should finish this. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You have another sentence.
Starting point is 00:37:23 General manager of Pizza Hut. Yeah. Pizza Pizza Hut. Yeah. Pizza the Hut. The bold flavor and aroma of the edge seasoning, seasoning capitalized, will instantly transport you back to a Pizza Hut. Oh, that's a hyper drive.
Starting point is 00:37:41 No, I don't want to go back. Pizza Hut. I'm plugging my nose. who doesn't want to give me my pizza why is the chair wobbly Michael sat on a very wobbly chair while we were waiting. Oh, fuck, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus Christ. How long have we been going? We don't have a timer. No, no, no. There you go.
Starting point is 00:38:11 What the fuck? It's crazy. This is a good one. Tight. Is it? I mean, I don't know if it's a good one, but it is tight. It's tight. We're making this podcast another 12 parsecs. So let's... It's a unit of distance not time let's talk about this fucking
Starting point is 00:38:30 it's very rare that we spit silly in the middle of the press material it's very rare that the fucking manager of pizza does dinner on Gravis I mean what were we to do? Ignore that?
Starting point is 00:38:46 This is what we're here for. Okay? This is why people listen. For hard-hitting facts and information like this. Not to hear about the previous Carl's Jr. episode. Yeah. Well, who can say? Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:00 So, Pizza Hut, we've been to twice before. I don't even remember the Spicy Lovers pizza. I remember your failed attempt to blame Cat for getting blank in the blank. No, that was Cat brought that. Cat was like, look at these tiny tacos. I think I remember us being in that old recording room for that episode. Yeah, we were in that one over there, yeah. That one.
Starting point is 00:39:21 You guys are pointing in two different ways. The old, old. The salute, the flag one. You guys are pointing in two different ways. The old, old. The salute, the flag one. You guys are pointing in two different directions. No way. In February? No, it had to be here. It had to be.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Hang on. You guys are... Yeah, sort it out. There's a lot of looking and pointing. Yeah. Eric's pointing one way. Uh-huh. Through a wall.
Starting point is 00:39:42 And Jordan and Nick are pointing another way. I'm right. It doesn't matter. Eric's pointing to where the rest of the offices are. We're pointing where the street is. You're pointing to another building. He's pointing to another room. But you guys are thinking of when Gracie betrayed me, see,
Starting point is 00:39:59 with a sweetie meal. And I'm talking about when Kat betrayed you and brought Jacksonville. But it was you, though, not Kat. No. It was you. though, not Kat. No. It was you. Also, it's hard. I understand it's hard for them to keep track of all the interns you don't hire.
Starting point is 00:40:10 No, they all work here. You just cycle through. Again, I have not seen any of these interns. Congratulations to our future FaceJam intern. You won't get hired. No, you'll get hired. You might find something for you to do. You could be DJing on the roof next to this Pizza Hut if you play your cards right.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Is that who was up there? Was it Gracie? I will say the crowd outside is much bigger than the crowd inside the Pizza Hut. So I would take that over the promise of maybe $20 an hour someday that you won't get. That's true. Goodness gracious. So, Jordan, what did you think of the food? Well, you know, you eat with your eyes first and I was very unimpressed.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Yeah, I got that on video. And cracking open the pepperoni one was like, oh, well, they already screwed it up and it doesn't look very hot. Let's see what the other one's doing. How is it look worse even though they cut it right? Yeah, like that's fucking insane how bad it looked. Very unappetizing. But also it's nothing.
Starting point is 00:41:07 They didn't do anything wackier. It's just a thin crust pizza, you know, from Pizza Hut. So it's not an atrocity by any means. I don't think it's a 21 like the spicy one, which we must have really hated.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I'm sure they probably did something to us. Yeah, we're probably just in a bad mood that day. I guarantee you. There was probably some traffic or something. I don't know. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Sometimes I'll look at it. I feel like there's a game here somewhere where we look at old scores and guess why we rated it bad. And then you bring up a clip and you go, actually, it was hot that day. Yeah. You guys were mad. I'm trying to think of what the food could have done,
Starting point is 00:41:45 and I can't really think of anything. Well, I mean, that's what happened with our RTX episode where Jordan gave it a normal rating, and then Michael gave the hot dog and peanut butter and jelly sandwich a 92. Because it was delicious. See, that, if you ask me 10 years from now, you go, why? And I'd say, well. It was the best thing he ate that day.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I mean, it was great. It was there for me when i needed it and also i was feeling good by the end of the episode because of how young everyone on stage looked how you look like gus yeah that big eyebrow that was so good yeah also if you're if you're screaming right now i still can't see them go watch that one yeah put that on mute while you listen to this and just just it's like we should just we should do that with every video podcast just keep having the one video oh shit yeah yeah just pretend just pretend we're saying it every time but we look the same and then for some reason in the middle of like reading the facts you get up and spray eric's head yeah i mean i'm sure we can find a reason every episode to do that you know what i
Starting point is 00:42:49 mean we're good i think we got it we're good oh you're looking hang on you're fading a little bit now that i'm looking i'm all right well i'm good by your definition yeah yep it's good for eric um not much to say on like taste or anything like for. For the food? Yeah, because it's pizza. Something weird is going on with their crust, though. Like, you pointed out the bottom of it. The bottom of it looked like imagination. Like, it was not real. And then Nick, like, held it up and started, like, scratching it.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Yeah. Like, it was bread. Yeah. Yeah. It was fucking weird. Like, he was paul hollywood he was doing a real he was doing a real bake off yeah for some reason and we all kept saying stop doing that this is not asmr i don't want that um but yeah for present presentation is where it lacks
Starting point is 00:43:37 the most and like if we're right in the pizza box oh great looking pizza great pizza box if i made that box art i'd be pissed about what they're putting in there 100% absolutely you know what I mean but if I'm the general manager of pizza
Starting point is 00:43:50 I'm thrilled that people are looking at this box that's what they're walking out with yeah you think people get the pizza and they almost open it
Starting point is 00:43:57 and go no no no just wait till you get home yep wait till you get home and cut your phone lines before you before you sit down and eat it
Starting point is 00:44:04 and you still have them to those. Just don't want anybody interrupting your dinner. Right, right, right, right. I'm going to give it a 40. Okay. It's just pizza at pizza, which isn't good. The thin crust, honestly, was probably better than their regular. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:24 But Jordan's right. It's just straight-up pizza. There's literally nothing about it. The one with the pepperoni, it's straight-up a thin-crust pepperoni pizza. That's it, right? It was lukewarm is giving it too much credit. It was room temperature, I would say. So that sucked.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And easily the most chucked on toppings I've ever seen for the other ones it was cut into squares and really just and they weren't even spread out like one
Starting point is 00:44:51 one square had like 17 onions on it the one next to it didn't actually they didn't even chuck it it's like they had a fistful
Starting point is 00:44:59 and they put one on each square it doesn't really I don't understand the distribution at any point it's okay understand the distribution at any point. It's okay, neither did that. At any point.
Starting point is 00:45:09 So for all that, I mean, they fucked up even worse what is a mediocre pizza. But I agree with Jordan, it wasn't an atrocity. I guess my bar is so low for pizza at this point. I'm just thinking one before I see it. You know, I think he gave it a pretty fair score, but I think I eat Enos too much to
Starting point is 00:45:29 give it a 40, though. I'm going to hit it with a 30. Okay. It's an average score 35. How do you know? I just had to think real hard. Use my calculator. You sure? Run it again. Can you crunch the numbers again? Yeah. I demand a recount. What is it now? 35. Okay. Yep. Interesting. That's a non again? Yeah. I demand a recount. What is it now? 35.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Okay. Yep. Interesting. That's a non-zero number. I guess that works. The, like, what's the regular Pizza Hut pizza doing? You know, like. Not being eaten.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Right. What do you mean? What's it like on the weekends? I mean, like, what do you think about. Where does it go? You're getting philosophical about that. Because we talked about Domino's. Where does it go? Because we talked about Domino's and we went, like, when you think about it. Where does it go? You're getting philosophical about that. Because we talked about Domino's. Where does it go? Because we talked about Domino's and we went, oh, this ketchup pizza is so fucking weird.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Just give me the regular pizza. I don't know that I can say that for Pizza Hut. Oh, yeah. Well, because you don't want the regular pizza. I mean, I'm only ever going to eat the weird shit they do like this. I'm never going to eat it and be like, oh, I wish it was just a regular Pizza Hut pizza. No, I guess that's what I'm saying. It's either a square or it's
Starting point is 00:46:30 a circle that's cut into squares. Their base thing they don't even do well enough to make me go, oh, okay. When you guys gave that score, you were both resigned of, I mean, you just know it's going to be bad. So, like, I guess I just, I won't hammer it too hard because going in, I know it's going to fucking so yeah we're like i guess i just i won't hammer it too hard
Starting point is 00:46:45 because going in i know it's gonna fucking suck it's bad and they took away one of my favorite parts of pizza the crust yes yeah yeah and it like it's just so weird that this is what they keep turning in like pizza hut is like pizza because people keep going there yeah who not the one that we went to. But Pizza's somewhere. That's what I also don't get. They're not official pizza. They were. Not for long. Now it's the Caesar man. I should double
Starting point is 00:47:13 back. I mean, we really don't have to, but we did bring it up about six times. If you want to actually mention the old Firefox. I don't think we ever actually explained it. Because they just have a monitor above the counter and it's just a pizza hut logo which also in like just regular semi-opaque text in like the middle third says carry out yeah like just yeah it just said it's not part of a logo it's just text
Starting point is 00:47:40 and then the it's clearly a computer screen that they're uh putting on the monitor because you just see one folder in the top left it's like a zip that says old firefox data what is that monitor for that monitor is to show me they have old firefox data that's to show you they have the receipts so don't try it like what is that what is that it's just a logo it's a whole computer putting a logo on a monitor. They had to hang that monitor up. Don't cross me. I have the data.
Starting point is 00:48:09 He points to it. He goes, I'll open this. I don't know where the computer is. I'll unzip the shit out of this once I figure out how to do that. How to unzip a zip file. It keeps asking me to, like, buy full version. I double click it and it asks me if I want to. I bought WinRar nine times and I still can't open this shit. It keeps saying
Starting point is 00:48:26 search the web and I've been searching. It was like, that was just such a weird, that Pizza Hut was weird. Everything about it is weird. It's funny when it's like a place like Fazoli's doing it. It's sad when it's Pizza Hut. Your Pizza Hut! A national
Starting point is 00:48:42 chain that's one of the biggest restaurant pizza chains. And it's like it's chain that's one of the biggest restaurant pizza chains in the world. And it's internationally huge too. It's huge in... Is it still big in Russia? It's big in India. I remember it wanted to be big in Russia. Let's get into the snack attack. A gift
Starting point is 00:48:57 for you! Uh-huh. More snacks fit for kings. We'll be the judges of that. Spice for flavor, not for mice. Dry as a desert. From user E Steamed Broccoli. Oh, it's steamed broccoli.
Starting point is 00:49:18 I thought you were about to hand me that. What are we looking at here? Well, dry is in the name. Oh, I'm out of water. Dry Kachori. I'm not prepared. Round savory stuffed snack slash. I can't read that.
Starting point is 00:49:30 It's probably another language. Take a crack at it. I'm good. It's slash another language or slash they just got crazy. No, it's still English, general gravis word wrote it collation farsi sale ronde oh yeah i see yeah it's just in another language well yeah that's what i said i read you read the whole thing out like it wasn't i read bottom part, and then looking to the top, I was like, mm. Right. The slash is where it deviated from English
Starting point is 00:50:07 and began something anew. Well, what language is it? It's probably not English. So this is called, I think it's, man, Gujarat, and it's a place in India. So this is a snack. Unlikely. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:50:25 So let's see what it is. Because I don't know. It's definitely round. It's incredibly round. It's going to be hot. Oh man. It crunched weird. It said not for Spice Mouse. They're potent. Very potent. Yep. I already threw the thing. It's burning.
Starting point is 00:50:43 It's burning in a way that is right now okay, but I know will be a problem very soon. It's so dry. You know what would go great with that dryness? The edge? Building heat. If I took a bigger bite, I'd be in deep, deep trouble right now.
Starting point is 00:51:00 This is dry and hot. This is an Arizona ball. I'm eating Phoenix. Uh-huh. deep trouble right now. This is dry and hot. This is an Arizona ball. I'm eating Phoenix. I'm eating Tucson. Holy shit. It's so dry. I feel like it wouldn't be so bad this heat if it wasn't
Starting point is 00:51:19 so dry. I'm still okay, but I can feel it if i if i had having trouble if i know he's looking for an oasis if i had eaten more i would be so dead i'll say like no flavor's good you got a really like hot food to eat yeah though like i would because i would never be popping these in it's the kind of heat where it's just kind of... It's thick, too. It's just kind of staying there, you know? It's just lingering. It's a dry heat.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Like Arizona. I'm just saying. It ain't like a sauce, like a wet heat. The whole thing's dry. The inside looks like it's not dry. It is. It's like I'm sweating more than heat in my mouth. It's like a body heat. I can already feel it. It's starting to transfer to my face. I can feel it in my mouth. It's like a body heat. I can already feel it. It's starting to transfer to my face.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I can feel it in my brain. Yeah. Probably great for your sinuses. Did you try it? Yeah. I didn't eat one. I thought you were a little spice rat. Yeah, you have to eat one.
Starting point is 00:52:14 You're the spice rat man. I mean, it's not like fucking insane. No, it's not. Right? But for a snack, the dryness hits me more than the heat. It's the fact that it's spicy and so dry. It's a lot of heat for a snack the dryness hits me more than the heat it's the fact that it's spicy it's a lot so dry it's a lot of heat for a snack like if you're gonna eat two or three and it's so thick though too like like i can't imagine popping a whole one of these in your mouth they're big
Starting point is 00:52:34 at least they're big and dense yeah i can see why people would like these but i'm not one of them yeah i love it yeah i love these this is great This is great. Keep eating them. Whoa. Well, I guess we found who it swore. How long do you think until he's throwing up? Keep eating. Keep eating them. Just see what happens. He's just throwing them fire.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Yeah. He becomes the spice rat. It's just sand. It's crazy. It's so dry. It's crazy how hot it's making me, though. Really? I'm feeling it a little bit, too.
Starting point is 00:53:03 I'm getting body. I took a very small bite, and I feel it a little bit. Yeah, I feel it in my face? I'm feeling it a little bit too. I'm getting body. I took a very small bite and I feel it a little bit. Yeah, I feel it in my face. I'm like fanning myself. But I can, I don't know, sometimes we eat stuff
Starting point is 00:53:11 and I'm like, this sucks. I can see people liking this. This is not for me. Personally, this is a 15 because I would never eat this. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Wow. This reminds me of that other stuff. I still can't remember what it's called that you guys like that I go, I don't like that. Moon cheese. No. No. He hates hates that it's like the red stuff i'd rather eat moon
Starting point is 00:53:30 cheese than this though it's kind of like this here in the middle oh tahini the tamarind stuff yes that stuff it reminds me of that which i'm not a fan of oh that's a rule um well i think that's why he likes it this is like yeah it does it does have that if you like it's spicier than that but it's got that consistency if you like indian food these are fucking great these are dry kachori yeah are they vegan what if you love indian food but you don't like spice uh-huh i'm not really sure i'm not sure that happens is there a uh i like the smell i like the look of it yum I go to my favorite
Starting point is 00:54:08 Indian restaurant and I say mild please they throw me out just hand you bread leave alright Jordan give it a 15 what do you think
Starting point is 00:54:20 oh man I'm tempted to eat it though for some reason it's oddly intoxicated i just swallowed it and went to the back of my throat but again i'm gonna give it for me no it's still in my mouth it's again it's just the heat with it being so dry and it's like the tahin or whatever it is that i just i just never ate it are you warm nick do you feel it um i'll give it a 25 you gotta like you gotta like the texture. It's not
Starting point is 00:54:46 an indication of the actual quality of this. This is not for me. I feel like I can tell it's not for me. But it's not a piece of shit. Because we eat a lot of fucking crap. Get them. Dunk on them.
Starting point is 00:55:05 If you like Indian food I think you'll really like these. I think you'll really like these. What's the average score there? 20. Huh. Well, and again, look at who ate this. He gestured for so long before he could find a word. I was trying to think of how's the-
Starting point is 00:55:23 He just kept pointing, thinking, white. Yeah. White. So white. The only thing that came to mind. You can say it. You know that scene in Ted Lasso when they eat the Indian food and it's so spicy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's us. Yeah, but even that food looked moist.
Starting point is 00:55:40 This is very dry. I mean... If that food was served to them in a dry pellet, that would be... E-steamed broccoli wasn't lying. Their note was on point. I also think that these look like they should be sweet. They look like they should be a cinnamon sugar snack. They're not.
Starting point is 00:55:55 No, they're not. Definitely not. That might actually not be a bad combination to go with this. Yeah. The outside is just like... Let's roll it in cinnamon and try it again. And then if it works, we're rich.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Maybe not. What? If you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send them to Face Jam, Care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street,
Starting point is 00:56:14 Austin, Texas, 78723. Your snack can get featured. And now, watch us have a meeting. Are we doing, you guys want to do that live shopping thing on the 27th?
Starting point is 00:56:26 It's only 30 minutes. How many times are we going to talk about this? Until I get an answer from... I gave an answer like a month ago. What? No, you said you'd be interested in doing it, but the specific time and date is now on the table.
Starting point is 00:56:41 And we need to know if you're available. Hey, we're doing it. Are you cool? You're not going to be here? No, Nick's not going're doing it. Are you cool? I probably won't be here. You're not going to be here? No, Nick's not going to be here. I might not be here. I don't know. Why would you not be here?
Starting point is 00:56:51 I got a lot of podcasts. This is on a Wednesday. Right. I have to go to New York. But that's not until, like, Friday. Right. Sometimes you have to leave early. That would be Thursday.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Right. There's also a documentary they're making about it, so who knows? Are they shooting another one? I don't know! No. I don't know when I need to leave. So's also a documentary they're making about it. So who knows? Are they shooting another one? I don't know. No. So I don't know when I need to leave. So I'm a solid, love the idea. Maybe I'll be there. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Cool. So how long are we going to talk about this? So we don't have an answer. Yeah. You talk to the people flying my ass to New York. I'm not buying my ticket. I think that might be me. Then why don't you have an answer?
Starting point is 00:57:22 No, because I'm saying Thursday. Have them fly out on Thursday. So let's say, hey, fly me out on Neverday. Yeah. Well, you're not with me. You why don't you have an answer? No, because I'm saying Thursday. Have him fly out on Thursday. Hey, fly me out on Neverday. Well, you're not with me. You're not going. I'm trying not to go. But I would like to be with you not going. But also,
Starting point is 00:57:35 if you hate this podcast, buy tickets to the other one. Off-topic live in New York. In Brooklyn. No. Bronx. It's one of them. I don't remember every time. Off topic live in New York. Brooklyn. No. Bronx.
Starting point is 00:57:47 It's one of them. I don't remember every time, but the ticket will know. The ticket will know. RTXevent.com. The ticket will guide you. It starts with a B. That I am certain. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Baden Island. I think it's Brooklyn. So if we do do this on the 27th, then you can follow us at FaceCamPod. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it on the 27th. That can follow us at face jam pod. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. Um, that will be a countdown to the release of the switch fork. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:10 So we will do a half hour of selling face jam stuff that we have discount, go crazy, buy this, buy this, buy this. And then at the end of the half an hour with the countdown, we will release the switch fork. Can we get a giant, like two seconds? Can we get a giant switch fork in the background? That's slowly lowering like the, not by the switch fork. Can we get a giant... It's going to sell out in like two seconds. Can we get a giant switch fork in the background that's slowly lowering like the... Not by the 27th, we won't.
Starting point is 00:58:29 I mean, I can get probably that on a TV. Okay, I guess it kind of has the same effect. Yeah. And then like when the clock strikes zero, boom, it's at the bottom and fireworks go off. Fireworks go off. And everyone says, Happy New Year. Oh, Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:58:44 And Dick Clark is there. Diss Clark? Rest in peace, Diss Clark. At Face Jam Pod to stay up to date with everything, but Switchworks potentially July 27th. That would be the day. How is it potentially now? Oh, I'm waiting for you. To find out from you. Not from me.
Starting point is 00:59:00 I think Eric needs to find out if he's the one finding out for you. He just said, I think that's me. I'm doing my best to not find out if it's me. finding out for you. He just said, I think that's me. I'm doing my best to not find out if it's me. Well, then I'm not going to know. Trust me. Does September 15th work for you guys? Oh, September 15th is great for me.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Uh-huh. Store.roosteep.com for all your Face Jam needs, but also July 27th should be doing that live stream. That'll be fun. And I think that's it for our regular business. Jordan, any parting words? Don't go to Pizza Hut. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show
Starting point is 00:59:33 where we eat food and rate the food. Send it to somebody who desperately needs to stop going to Pizza Hut. We need to cut down their numbers. Yeah, really. I mean, just stop, right? Let's just, can we just replace them with Little Caesars? I'm fine with that. Little Caesars is like number stop, right? Can we just replace them with Little Caesars? I'm fine with that. Let's just go in.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Little Caesars is like number two, right? Go in in the middle of the night, in the dark of night, and just replace all the Pizza Hut logos with Little Caesars logos, and all the Pizza Hut employees will show up and be like, guess I'm working for Little Caesars now, and they just start serving Little Caesars, the official Pizza Hut of the NFL. I called it the Pizza Hut.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Little Caesars, the official Pizza Hut. If Little Ca I called it the pizza hut. Little Caesars, the official pizza hut. If Little Caesars wants to be the pizza hut, that's fine with me, right? If we start putting all the pizza hut logos on Little Caesars and trick people into thinking it's pizza hut, and then people are like, pizza hut's so good, and then after two years they reveal it's been Little Caesars all along, that's fine with me. Also, I think Little Caesars is two.
Starting point is 01:00:23 I think Domino's is one from better but being taste and all that I am willing to hear arguments that based on a price range Little Caesars could be someone's number one it's not my number one but I feel like the argument's there right if you're not a
Starting point is 01:00:38 experienced eater pizza lover and you're just like it's all kind of the same like you like you like Eno's and you like Little Caesars. Little Caesars is just cheaper. They're hot and ready. That angle of it is really what is making them go up in my rankings. It's the working
Starting point is 01:00:54 man's pizza. It's that but also it tastes better than Pizza Hut too. I don't know if that's for $5. I don't know if Little Caesars is doing anything beyond just existing and Pizza Hut is tanking themselves, but they're getting better. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:01:08 So come on over to Brooklyn, Williamsburg Music Hall. You think they got any good pizza there? Any good Pizza Huts in Brooklyn? No, they don't really have good pizza. Yeah, probably not. There's like a Gaddy's, I think. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Oh, Sbarro I hear is really good. Little Double Dave's. Always go to Sbarro when I'm in New York. Whoa! I let him tag team me at a Pizza Hut. All right, I assume the episode
Starting point is 01:01:32 has ended at some point. Goodbye again. Will you marry me? you

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