100% Eat - Spittin Silly
Episode Date: October 31, 2023Our hero judges kick back and relax for a casual episode of Spittin Silly where they go on a tangent about movies. Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/50facejam and use code 50facejam), Nut...s.com (http://nuts.com/facejam), and Extra Life (http://cmnh.co/0kM). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵 That's good. It cooled down. Yeah. Also, the air conditioning was turned on, so that's... Yeah, now it's off again.
I'm feeling the heat.
No, it's not.
Nick doesn't like running the air conditioning during...
What do you mean?
Blasting me right now?
Well, you're right under it.
But that's how I know it's on!
But I could feel it earlier when it was blasting.
Yeah!
I feel it now.
That's good.
Nick doesn't like...
He thinks it's because of the sound.
Who's listening to this and going,
I can hear the AC? No one. And if they are, go listening to this and going, I can hear the AC?
No one.
And if they are, go to hell.
I can hear it.
I don't give a shit.
We're a podcast where we're hardly talking into the mics.
It's true.
Nick's problem is that he's an audio professional, and so it bothers him.
He really picks and chooses on that, though, right?
I'm just saying, if you're going to the level of like, hey, look, even though this is a
shit show podcast and nobody gives a crap about, I'm concerned about the audio quality
and the technical specifications.
I'm going to turn off the air conditioning just in case.
Also, fuck, how do I play the intro?
Don't go hand in hand.
Wait, hang on.
I'll play it through my phone.
Oh, oh no, I don't have data.
Oh, no.
Cars Times was fun,
but I'm glad we're not in them anymore.
Yeah, yeah, car was cool.
That's fair.
What did he say?
He said that's fair.
Sorry, I didn't announce it was what he wrote.
The car was fun. I'm glad we're done with cars.
That's good.
The movie was good. Cars movie.
Cars 2. The first one, yeah. Yeah, Cars 2, very confusing. I do like... The movie was good. Cars movie. Cars 2.
The first one, yeah.
Yeah, Cars 2, very confusing.
I never even saw Cars 3.
But honestly, isn't he like old in Cars 3?
It happened so fast.
How does he get old?
Because the car?
The car?
The car was passed by?
Yeah.
What?
You know how in the first movie...
Are you asking how a car ages?
You know how in the first movie there's old cars?
And he's like, I'm old.
I guess I never considered... you know like a car from
2000 is new in 2000.
Yeah, we're just old. But a car from 2000
in 2020 is 20 years old.
I just never considered that in the world of cars.
Neither have I. Until Cars 3.
Life is a highway.
Go on. I want to ride
all night long.
Interesting. Great.
But I can't sing Chrisris cornell his value for well no
there is value to be probably dead too so dude that's what happens when you get when you when
you have a baby car in the cars universe as soon as that car that baby car drives off the hospital
lot it loses its value do you think baby cars can drive right away or is it a walking situation?
Do you have to idle before you can drive?
I never thought about it.
Maybe it's like...
I guarantee you they didn't think about it either.
No, they didn't.
They're in neutral.
They're in low gear.
Probably only get up to like 30, 35 or something.
That's tough.
Shift.
Idiot.
How old can kids drive here?
Like seven, nine?
What is that?
Six?
What are you talking about?
Well, if you live in a rural area and you're on a tractor.
Oh, if you're talking about a rural, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can do this at 12, I think.
I mean Texas.
Where's the...
Yeah.
Where you can drive at 12 and you don't need to take a test.
Joe tweeted about something like that the other day.
Where he was like, these drivers are insane.
Like, these are the worst drivers I've ever seen.
And it's just, yeah, no one has to try.
Like, you don't have to test anything here.
You just do it.
I mean, dad said I can do it.
That sounds, have you ever seen driving like that here in Austin?
Driving like what?
That?
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh, was that today?
Yeah.
You mean when we almost got in the car?
I was waiting for you to get there. You named me the last time you've seen a bad driver in Austin. Yeah You mean when we got in the car?
You named me the last time you've seen a bad driver
Yeah, we were outside
Ride alongs. What are we doing here? I think we're just kind of spitting silly. Yeah, we're just doing
His idea Yeah, idea was no idea.
Yeah.
He was just like, what if we just got together?
And it's like, I like that.
It sounds like we just haven't done anything.
And just pretend like we hang out.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
All right.
Poll time.
Who's my best friend?
Gracie.
Probably.
Probably.
We should also have a poll for what power level Gracie is on the Goku scale.
Gracie would win a medal of best up-and-comer for me.
Oh, wow.
Sure, yeah.
I mean, the competition is thin, but it's non-existent.
She's doing well, but also there's no one else.
It's you, Kat, who's not here, but also not part of the show at all.
We don't need to pit them against each other.
And I'm not yeah
and thank god
just wait till we go
head to head on Friday
whoa
you know what
I'm gonna welcome you
yeah
no pit
put me against her
that's why Gracie's
in the show
and Kat isn't
Kat can
Kat can fit in
Gracie needs to be let in
yes
yeah yeah
like a vampire
I wanna be a vampire.
Classic vampire.
We did make the mistake of inviting her in.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was the right move.
And then we learned about her brother's love of Fazoli's.
And Burger King.
It was not that we need an injection of like, I don't know, like, wow, let's spice this up.
We've got Nick.
It never gets old.
Of like, I don't know, like, wow, let's spice this up.
We've got Nick.
It never gets old.
Gracie has really surprised me as like, just kind of come out of the shadows.
X Factor you didn't think was going to be an X Factor. Not to the level of.
You're so mild-mannered.
Yes.
And then you'll just say something insane.
And then you go, what have you done?
Well, the thing is, too, the thing is that that is true.
And that I kind of expected of anybody, right?
Like, whoa, someone spoke up and told this thing.
But she's really on an Eric track here where it's not.
What's up?
Well, I mean, it's like for Kat, it's kind of like, whoa, here's some crazy thing.
All right, I'm going to get back into my hole now.
I'm going to sneak away. And Grace is like, yeah, here's some crazy thing. All right, I'm going to get back into my hole now. I'm going to sneak away.
And Gracie's like, yeah, here's my thing.
What are we doing now?
The party's over.
Where's the next party?
I'm going, oh, this really fits.
How long until Gracie's talking before Eric?
I was about to say.
Oh, boy.
We're trying to figure out some stuff right now
where we're trying to do some,
we've talked about it recently,
like trying to do some travel and everything for the show
but I think we have something in mind
that we're trying to get to and I'm like oh man I really wanted to
include Gracie and it's like man I don't know trying to get the budget
for all the travel and stay and everything like that
all the food for Nick because he likes to eat a lot
but there would be travel involved in everything and I'm like oh it's this weekend
and she's like I'm already going to be there.
It's like, oh, okay, well, we'll just buy you a ticket
for this thing, I guess, and you come with.
We'll just meet you there.
Yeah, yeah, you'll just, yeah.
You meet us there in your own car, I guess.
It's going to work out great.
Here's going to, and this is a plus up from the last time.
When we don't go again, probably because of you,
Gracie can go for us.
I've already done it, no.
Like Lindsay did last time.
That's true.
Give me a Snoopy.
Don't get him shit.
Give me a Snoopy.
We'll already have somebody there on the ground to go for us because it will fall through.
And we're planning how it's going to be so fun for us to plus up their trip and then
we don't go and then we say, could you do work for us?
Right.
I'm telling you.
While you're on your vacation.
2024 is the year of the boysenberry festival
We are gonna go
When is it? Let's see
Someone take that phone out of my tiny pocket
And if we don't I'll say it here right now
You were struggling I could tell
The phones are so big now
I'll say it here right now for everyone to hear
Eric will eat his hat
Why is he eating his hat?
I like this hat
There's no way you could eat that whole hat
No I don't think I could.
I think it would make you sick.
Yeah, which is why we should go to the Boysenberry Festival.
Even if it made you sick or not, I don't think you could eat it.
Oh, you don't care if I get sick?
No, I'm just wondering how the hell you'd go about eating it.
2024, I immediately opened It's Not Scary Farm.
No, thank you.
Boysenberry Festival is...
Did they announce the date so far in advance?
No, they just said it's
returning in 2024 yeah notsberry farm doesn't really seem like they play in that far so it's
kind of like notsberry farm is like netflix or like season two is coming dot dot dot in six years
yeah well i just don't tell you yeah it's official not notsberry farm's doing it again
ah what a relief and that's why i'm excited for cloverfield protocol what was
two what was the one in the spaceship that was three cloverfield paradox you're looking at me
like i know anything about this john goodman right i watched that one was good cloverfield
i did hear that one was good it was i did not watch it though i watched the original cloverfield original cloverfield
it's a very 2008 movie yeah it's a movie where you go this is an idea what a novel idea to shoot
it this way yeah wow wow it shot like it was shot on a little camera that's the difference between
you guys and me in 2008 i wasn't going what an interesting way to shoot this film uh-huh i was
going this fucking sucks.
Because you guys have the ability, and I do now.
Sometimes I go, oh, I see what they were doing here.
Instead, I was going, I don't give a fuck.
This sucks.
I hate it.
They could have done it a better way.
Show the fucking monster!
I want to see it!
That's the end?
Mid-March through April. Did it just get picked up?
Oh, whatever.
Have you ever watched Blair Witch Project?
Yes.
You would love that.
Yeah, but that wasn't
that
this was
that was scary
horror movie
and they always do shit like that.
Yes.
This was big action
monster movie
with no action or monster.
I was just going
the whole movie
is people running away.
But the one thing
you didn't know
that they didn't have
was budget.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sure I knew.
It didn't make the movie
better though
boysenberry festival mid-march through april is typically what it is so we'll find it there
have you seen all of the blair witch discourse stuff that's on tiktok like right now it's a
bunch of podcasts who's talking about blair which a bunch of kids that were born in 2004
like oh it's it's people who weren't alive during the craze of the
Blair Witch well yeah Gracie uh she's making Blair Witch uh TikToks uh guys have you seen this found
footage it is it is the funniest real it is the funniest thing that I have seen where these people
are ascribing stuff happening in the movie and going like, and here's why it happened this way.
Here's why I did this.
And it's actually, it's time travel.
And see, when she sees this, she hears her own screams in the camera.
And that's the ending here is all this stuff.
And I went, that's not what the filmmakers intended at all.
They didn't know what the fuck they were doing.
They were just trying some shit.
That's awesome! I do think
it's really cool that an audience can come
back to it years later. 25
years later? It was
1997? What do you think people are
going to think FaceTime was? Well, in 100
years when we're still alive, we'll know.
And we'll tell them.
And they'll be like, no,
death of the author, you don't know what it was about
but yeah like
what do they mean when they sport it this way
similar to how now you look
at Cloverfield and you say
oh I get
it was an interesting idea
people become more film
literate media literate and
they have a different perspective of looking
at it and they'll look at something that's 20 years old
and be like, oh, this is an interesting way
you can interpret it.
Yes, but I think that the problem
with hypermedia literacy is that it's almost like you,
it's too much, and you become overly analytical
of things that don't have the cohesion
or the connective tissue.
You're starting making connections that aren't there.
Sometimes you have a podcast
and you need to fill an episode, so you go,
yeah, there's time travel in The Blair Witch,
and then everyone makes a TikTok about it.
That's what it feels like happened. I see.
That's how it reads to me.
So what's our crazy movie take? What movie are we
reaching back 20 years for? Sometimes, I won't
reach back far at all. Sometimes you gotta
not worry about what they were thinking, and you
just watch Ambulance. Oh, yeah! You let her ride you just watch ambulance you've ever seen ambulance you don't sit whoa all right double feature
add it to the list the flash and ambulance i went i'll watch ambulance with you guys i i went with
gavin and uh tpg known salesman here at Rooster Teeth.
I went with them.
We got, I got so fucking drunk before this movie and there was no one in the theater
and I live tweeted Ambulance and it was awesome.
It was so much fun.
Which inspired me to see it.
Dude, it was.
What a film!
I mean, if Eric's loving Ambu unofficial name LA instead.
Because the LA is highlight.
Ambue LA.
I gotta see this movie.
And it lived up to it.
It's wild.
I like, I like, I don't remember shit about the movie,
like, off the top of my head,
except very specifically right in the beginning
when they're trying to be like,
hey, he's got, this guy makes a lot of money doing crime.
He makes a lot of money.
He's got fucking sports cars and million shit and expenses everywhere his line. This is Jake Gyllenhaal, by the way
So I question as an actor how you can't go. Hey, this line makes no sense
He's like we got everything good this we got you like Keurig. We even got that
That's like cheap shit every what the fuck are you talking about?
We got this. We got Kirk.
You like that? We got everything.
Mine's being straight up said, what the hell is he talking about?
It is. That sets the tone for the whole movie.
It's shot and edited
like a music video
and Jake Gyllenhaal is delivering
these lines. He's out of his mind
the whole movie.
I honestly love it.
I should also be
wasted.
If I'm gonna watch Jake Gyllenhaal
in Ambulance or Prince of Persia
which I've seen both in theaters
I'm gonna watch Ambulance again.
He's a man
I could only assume having fun.
I don't know what else could be
going on. That reminds me
of another moment in a movie
it's not exactly the same but you know
an elf when Peter Dinklage's
character is like flexing on like how rich
he is and he says he's got like
a bunch of penthouses and each one of them
has a 50 inch plasma
screen
that was like back in the day
2003 that was a big deal
nobody has plasma at least you go oh that has aged that was like back in the day yeah 2003 that was a big deal yeah this
nobody has plasma now
that at least you go
oh that has aged
right
that's funny
that's not
coming out this year
I was watching the movie
going I'm watching this
in a movie theater
yeah
he just said Karen
what are you talking about
we should watch
we even got those
fancy doors
when you go to the
grocery store
they're like yeah
that's right
open for you
yeah
we got it all, baby.
We should do a Flash Watch along because we haven't watched it still.
I have not watched it intentionally because I want to watch it with you guys.
And I haven't watched Ambulance intentionally.
I didn't intend to.
Unrelated to us in any way.
Right.
You were intentionally not watching Ambulance.
It's like a hero story.
It is.
Yeah.
Right, you were intentionally not watching Ambulance.
It's like a hero story.
It is, yeah.
The beginning, they give you... God, the way the beginning is edited,
it is just the funniest exposition you've ever seen.
I have seen at least the opening sequence.
Oh, yeah, and you're just like,
boy, we're really moving through this, huh?
Yeah, as fast as we can. You're like,
let's fucking rob this
big guy. I don't want to, look,
I don't want to keep talking about ambulance, whatever.
The guy getting run over.
Fucking sandals wearing idiot.
It's so,
it's such a funny
moment that I don't think it's supposed
to be. Oh, we gotta watch Ambulance.
It's also a thing I fucking
hate hostage negotiation
movies. I just don't like them.
You don't like Phone Booth? That's what this is
and I love it. It's just
they don't try hard
enough to be a hostage negotiation movie.
It's just kind of the backdrop and I appreciate
that because a real one is usually, unless it's
real good, it's boring as fuck.
Yes, and one thing this movie is not, it's boring.
No, it is, again, shot and
edited like a music video, but also
they got drones.
Oh, dude. They got drones.
Hey, do you ever want to open up to a city, but to do
that you have to fly up the side of a building
and then fly down the building like
190 miles an hour.
For no reason.
Michael Bay learned about the drone racing league.
Hired the best drone flyers from that.
And he went, let's do it.
Get me some shots.
They did it.
It is a movie that I don't know if it knows what subtext is because there is none.
Oh, so it's written by like a 12-year-old.
Michael Bay.
Yeah.
It's thrilling.
Yeah, so, yeah,
the script is what the script is.
It's on every service level.
And if anything stops moving
on the screen,
it's boring.
That's Michael Bay.
If anything stops moving
on the screen,
it's about to be followed up
with the most movement
you've ever seen.
To make up for it.
Michael Bay does
tension by having people stand perfectly
still for three seconds.
And then it's...
That's just his oeuvre. It's great.
It's so awesome. We gotta watch Ambulance.
That's such a fun idea. It honestly too is such... I think we'd have fun with both. I'm more fun with the ambulance. Oh fuck
Yeah, I'll have more fun with the flash watching you watch
Yeah
Lost his power
Cool I do think like
Movies like ambulance do need to exist
because sometimes you need
a break and just
like something very dumb and popcorn.
So I'm actually pretty excited
about it. I don't like
movies like that really.
I just don't enjoy
spectacle in that way.
Generally. There's something about Michael Bay's unabashedness where he, it really won me over where Transformers,
I think, are just like the worst fucking movies.
Because they're trying.
Yeah.
They're like attempting to like do this lore.
Sure.
And like the story.
And it's so boring.
And as we know, that's not what Michael Bay's good at.
No.
And so it feels like... Also, not that anyone
gives a fuck. They're based on toys.
Yeah, exactly. You want to see the cars turn into robots
and then the robots fight. Yeah, but why
are they here? Yeah, give a shit.
We have a lot of lore questions about
Optimus Prime. Yeah, he's a semi-truck.
Here we go. I think
what happened with Michael Bay
is he made that Netflix movie that nobody
watched, Six Underground, with Ryan Reynolds.
Nobody watched it.
I, too, didn't watch it.
I watched everything.
I remember hearing about it.
I watched it because I was hanging out with TPG.
Uh-huh.
Oh, I bet it's the same movie.
And all I heard was, bro, you fuck with Six Underground?
Bro, you ever fuck with Six Underground late at night?
Bro, you ever wait for the kids to go to bed and fuck with this shit silly?
You ever pop your pants off and fuck with 6 Underground?
You ever come in
after a hot day, 10 in the garden outside
and fuck with 6 Underground? Put that shit on, bitch?
That man is married and a father of two.
He's a great dad, too. It's the best.
Father of three now. Oh, no way.
Yeah, I think he has a daughter, too.
He used to live in the same neighborhood. Crazy.
So... You didn't fuck with 6 Underground? And not enough, apparently. No, we I think he has a daughter too. He used to live in the same neighborhood crazy So you didn't fuck with six under and not enough apparently we went over there neat not He was like you fuck around with chicken check
The room my experience walking room pause new video game come out you fuck with this shit
I played it
That way you're asking? No, I know what he's saying.
So like watching Six Underground
and you're just like,
oh, Michael Bay maybe wasn't thrilled
about making this movie.
A lot of explosions,
but then like trying to tell a story.
And I don't think anybody liked it.
And he went,
I'll fucking show you.
Yeah, fine.
And then he made Ambulance,
the craziest movie.
The most Michael Bay movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And in 20 years, whatever TikTok next thing, whatever.
Oh, man, I hope there's time travel in Ambulance in 20 years.
Dude, it's going to be like, oh, yeah.
It's not there now, but in 20 years it will be.
Here's the subtext to Ambulance.
Here's what they're getting at.
He said Keurig because it's a statement on the struggle that people are in capitalism.
2022 was such a turbulent time that a Keurig was so hard to get.
Whoa.
That went over my head.
I'm still learning.
My grandpa told me that a Keurig was a coffee break.
God.
Fuck.
You know what I watched?
Armando's looking at us, so let's just keep going.
You know what I watched on...
And his friend, his friend LA Hat what I watched on His friend LA Hat
I watched on Netflix
I can't remember
What the hell the name of the movie was
But it came out I think earlier this year
Oh the Samaritan with Sylvester Stallone
Oh I saw
The superhero thing
That was not terrible
It's right on the line of like
Ambulance because it tries to tell a
story, and it's not very good.
But I went, oh, I'll fuck with this.
You fuck with Samaritan?
I bet TPG fucked with Samaritan.
Oh, 100%.
It's right in the middle where like, there's a story, and it's so like, whatever, and it's
the classic like, and then there's a neighborhood kid that needs to be looked at.
You know what I mean?
Like, every fucking movie, and he's like, get like get out of here kid i'm not the samaritan
and he disappeared he's like i know you are i know you're the samaritan turns out no he's not
because the whole movie is like me and my brother oh my brother is like oh he's the bad guy and then
the whole movie takes place and the bad guy's trying to get, because there's like a magic hammer from the bed.
It's like straight up like a sledgehammer,
but they're like, it's imbued with evil spirits.
And now knowing filming,
it's just a fucking,
it literally just got a sledgehammer.
And that's the main set piece.
Like, you know, Marvel's got like,
we have the cube.
It's a fucking sledgehammer.
And they're just, or whatever,
it's something like that.
And they're like, it's possessed with evil from hell or whatever. And it's just like, here's a fucking sledgehammer. Or whatever. It's something like that. And they're like, it's possessed with evil from hell or whatever.
And it's just like, here's a prop.
And then it all leads to the end of the movie when the bad guy of the movie is fighting the Samaritan.
And he's like, I told you.
Because that's what his face does.
He's like, I'm not the good guy.
I'm the bad guy.
And you're like, whoa.
It's a movie where he's like, I feel bad about being the bad guy. I'm going to kill and you're like whoa it's a movie where he's like
I feel bad about being the bad guy
killing my brother
and then I go
that was a movie
I watched that
and like
man
I never thought
I know they're
they just
I don't know
they're movies of their time
gotta watch this
you gotta watch that
people talk about like
Rambo and Rocky or whatever
and like
I enjoy some of them.
I'm not like, whatever.
I see this movie and I go, yeah, those movies were good though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This really ups like, I don't know.
It's not fair to just say like, oh, if it's on Netflix, it sucks.
Or it's like, it's mediocre.
But I'm like, this one belongs here.
Yeah.
For sure.
It's like, there's not, it's a superhero movie with almost no action or fighting the whole movie.
It's just him being like, I fucking hate my life.
He's eating TV dinners and shit in his apartment.
It's one of those, oh, I'm a fucking slob.
That's most of the movie.
It's a superhero movie.
And I'm like, bro, this is the worst fucking superhero movie I've ever seen in my life.
I love watching it.
Because Sylvester Stallone's like 80 years old now.
Dude, exactly. I love watching it. Because Sylvester Stallone's like 80 years old now. Dude, exactly.
I'm just going.
I'm just going.
Jordan, I was just like,
I can't watch this movie and critique it
because it could just not exist.
And I'm glad it does.
Sure.
I would prefer it to exist than it to not exist.
Yeah.
So I just let it wash over me.
It was good for the economy.
It was great.
He has a documentary coming out soon,
like about him.
But I think that
Nope.
I think that
a big thing that he's been
trying to do
the last few years
is he
I think he has like
a bunch of daughters.
And I think he is
trying to
He said that in a weird way.
Well, he's been trying to do
that in the last few
I found these daughters I grew. He's been trying to do that in the last few... I found these daughters, I grew.
That is probably how he talks about them.
Because he's trying to make them all famous
by any means necessary.
He's like, put them on a show.
We're doing a documentary where I love my family.
It's any means necessary to be like,
and these are my daughters.
Look at my daughters
I think he's trying to
continue the family lineage
also are they like 60?
no I'm just saying
you know what
thinking about it
great question no they are not
oh uh oh
so I think that's what he's trying to do
Clint Eastwood has like kids who aren't, you know, 40.
And that's crazy.
That's Robert De Niro.
Didn't he just have like a kid?
Yeah, I think he did.
That's awesome.
Was he the one that they had to do the paternity test?
What?
No.
Somebody, some fucking like old celebrity was like, oh, you just had a kid with whoever.
And like, no, he can't. He can't even have kids anymore. And they did a paternity test. He's like, holy, you just had a kid with whoever. And they're like, no, he can't even have
kids anymore. And they did a paternity test.
He was like, holy shit, that's my kid?
What the fuck? I can't remember who it was.
It was this year.
I like how when we don't have a prompt
or some tentpole thing to talk about,
we just go to movies.
That's fine. That's all I got.
Apparently Al Pacino demanded
a paternity test after learning about
his new baby. And then was shocked
to find out, like, holy fuck.
There's no way that could be my
kid. The 79-year-old Robert
De Niro revealed in May
that he'd welcomed his seventh child,
and we learned earlier this week that
83-year-old Pacino
had a child as well. Jesus.
Wow.
These old guys be fucking.
I mean,
they can bang. Stop making kids.
You're 80.
I know, right? You're just like,
kids never gonna know you.
You're just like, before I go,
take one more.
You know what I mean?
It's hard to sit here and be like,
this is what people should do with children.
But in your 80s?
Right.
I don't know where the line is, but you've crossed it.
When you're going, holy shit, I can still make people?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Right.
And again, it's...
Sylvester Stallone's daughters.
Whoa.
Crazy made a face.
That doesn't add up.
I mean, it adds up.
Did you just hear about it?
I'm not sure you've been paying attention the last
few minutes. That actually turns out
they're older than I thought.
They're not in cribs.
They're somewhere between
teenage and 30.
He has two sons
and three daughters.
How old are the sons?
I don't know.
Did he have any kids in like the the ages? I don't know.
Did he have any kids in like the 70s?
I'm looking right now.
We're just tracking down Stallone's lineage right now.
This is great. We're spitting silly.
His daughters are, let me see when this article
was written. This was in
2023. His daughters are 27,
25, and 21.
Oh.
How old is he?
79.
100.
Whoa.
Hold on.
Oh, my God.
That's crazy.
I'm looking up to see his son's ages.
What the fuck?
Like, I can't imagine my dad being 79 right now.
That would be crazy.
Oh, my God.
He has one son born in 76.
I knew it. For some reason I knew the sons were
going to be in the 70s.
Well, I'm sure they should. Yeah, I took care of that.
Marriages. Yeah.
Sure. Oh my god. I'm sure he's been married
quite a few times. The other one's born in 79.
Wow. So then he has
he has older sons
and then
And then we talk like 2001. he's just like hey make my
daughters famous look at my famous
daughters
judge
judge you
Michael's making
such a face Michael's making the face of the
guy who gets
he gets
abducted by the aliens
and men in black or he gets possessed Vincent D the aliens and men in black.
Oh, yeah.
Or he gets possessed.
Oh, Vincent D'Onofrio.
Yeah.
Yes, Vincent D'Onofrio.
Can you believe that's Vincent D'Onofrio?
That's crazy.
I sure can.
Can't believe it.
I don't remember knowing that was Vincent D'Onofrio when I first saw it.
When is the first thing I saw?
I think I first recognized the name and the actor together on Law & Order.
Ah, that's where he made his
Transformation primarily
Was Law and Order, Criminal Intent
Then he started getting kind of big and bald
He started and he was still
Men in Black-ish
The size
That's what I remember
When I think of Vincent D'Onofrio
Criminal Intent went on and he was just like
I'm gonna get big and stay there.
Which worked out well for him.
I think he was thinking about being Kingpin in 2020.
He connected some dots down the road and was like,
I bet if I time this just right,
I think I can get big for a long time and be Kingpin.
No, great Kingpin.
I think he's great and the least Vincent D'Onofrio-like in Full Metal Jacket.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I also didn't know that was him for a really long time.
Just never put it together.
So young.
He's just a kid.
So young.
And best part of the first half of that movie.
Yeah.
Really feels like two movies.
It does.
After he says, if you've never seen it, watch it.
And then when there's the title drop, you can stop watching.
It is really something, man.
That's just my advice.
What was I watching recently?
Oh, you remember Public Enemies?
It was a movie that I feel like not a lot of people saw in like 2008.
No, but for some reason, I feel like I was picturing the font for it, and then it reminded me of the movie Four Brothers.
Oh, interesting.
That's a movie. They killed the young
one. Public Enemies was
one of those movies that was all shot
that was all shot on digital
and it was a Johnny Depp, John
Dillinger movie. Like he was supposed to be
John Dillinger's pet. It's that movie? I do remember that.
I don't remember anything about it. I know I've seen it.
It is so fucking ugly.
It looks like
it is shot in different frame rates on
different cameras and none of the
cameras are good. Oh man, it's
over. Can you believe that?
Kat just walked by.
She can't hear her. She's wearing AirPods.
Yeah, she's out of here.
She's back!
Head to head this Friday.
Watch out!
She has no idea what we're saying.
I was screaming
watch out and pointing at her and she was smiling
and waving back. Keep saying this Friday.
This comes out when? Yeah, like
two, three weeks. I live in my own time.
The audience can fuck off. I'm not going to live in their
future time. Today is
20 years from now we'll be looking at this episode
and be like, see, there was time travel.
See, and you have to think about
what that really means, the subtext
of what these guys are getting.
Next time on the Spittin' Silly Movie Podcast, we'll talk about
Bill Burr's new movie. What's that?
Eric, would you like to talk about Bill Burr's
new movie before we go?
Oh!
Oh, I forgot about it!
He's so mad about it.
It's a movie that you think Bill Burr is better than,
and then you watch the trailer and you go, oh, no, he's not.
You're right.
Not only is he not above this, he backs it because he's writing and directing it.
Oh, it's such a fucking bummer.
Oh, it's such a bummer.
It's Gen Z or cringe, I'm a man, alpha male kind of movie.
I don't even like Bill Burr.
I'm not a fan of his, like, you know, he's fine.
I don't listen to his comedy, whatever.
No, not at all.
It's just that when you watch the trailer for this movie, you go, I really genuinely thought you were above what this is.
I thought you were smarter and also better than this.
Yes, and I was wrong.
And so there you go.
So basically, the premise of the movie is him trying not to raise a pussy kid.
Yeah.
And in these woke times.
It really is.
Does he fail or succeed?
I don't know if there's a path to redemption.
It looks like despite everything, he's going to succeed.
Maybe he'll learn a valuable lesson and come out better on the other side.
I have a feeling that he won't.
I think the kid is.
Yeah.
Quote, unquote.
The kid's going to call someone a pussy. Yeah.
And that's going to be the, say, make Gracie laugh.
Shit.
Shit, we know who this movie's for.
Alright, let's get out of here. Happy early birthday, Jordan.
Oh, happy birthday
Gracie's dog!
More importantly. Hey, thanks for
listening to Spit and Silly.
That's what this was.
Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week.
That's right.
It's next week.
Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want,
but also there's lots of first stuff, so watch that too.
That's extra.
You didn't put that in here.
We should add something about that.
Yeah, you're right.
FaceJamPod.com.
We make stuff now.
We make stuff now.
FaceJamPod.com slash first.
Goodbye.