100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 2
Episode Date: November 29, 2022Order in the court, the Food Court. Face Jam is back and Spittin Silly settling new food disputes from the loyal Jammers. There are some doozies in this one but the big one has to do with dipping food... in ice cream. Weigh in. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does.
I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, along my co-host next to me, Michael Jones.
Help!
Michael, what's up?
Swish!
Sorry, I shot a very far basket.
That was a moonshot.
Yeah, I shot it, and then you asked, but I was busy holding my breath. That was pretty cool.
Because it was exiting the gravitational
pull of the planet right through
Saturn's rings. It's a swish.
Oh, the rings are the hoop?
Did you win the game?
Game over.
That doesn't answer my question.
As in it's been over for a while.
Hey, I invented the game.
Okay, alright. This is Fortnite. been over for a while hey i invented the game okay all right this fortnight we are back in yeah we
are the food court yeah we're we're not in the middle of a production we can take our time to
do yeah sorry bro i got a i got some nice new digs i'm gonna tell you oh yeah your new office
yeah that's pretty cool it is the coolest part is just walking over here
yeah it was very easy
and then texting me
and going
where'd you go
yeah and then disappearing
and then yeah
people were keeping you
from me
I was being lied to
are they in the room
and someone said
they're not in the room
you shouldn't trust
somebody not in the room
to know who's in the room
that's true
no well they looked
in the room
and peeked
that's what
they were being
a gatekeeper
yeah dude
they were gatekeeping
I got my gate kept.
Yeah.
Walked around the entire building
and then came back.
And they put up the gamer gate
and they kept Michael out.
At least you got some cardio in.
Bro,
I'm cardioing all over the place.
That's good.
I got my Gatorade,
you know.
You do have your Gatorade.
You need to replenish
all those electrolytes
after walking around the building.
You know what though?
Not as much as usual.
Temperature,
quite cool right now.
It is comfortable outside. Look at us all
wearing jackets. We're in little layers.
Look at us. Well, that means
we're all dressed up for food court also. That's good.
This is nice. Excellent. I'm ready
to harshly judge. You know
how lawyers dress in
England with their little wigs and stuff?
This is how judges dress in the
face jam food court.
With jackets. Face jam? Very casually. England with their little wigs and stuff. This is how judges dress in the face jam. Yep. Oh,
with jackets,
face jam,
very casually.
What's up?
You're not wearing a face jam shirt.
No,
sorry.
A judge face jam.
He's not a judge food court.
Incredibly well received by the jammers.
Got so many emails need to show you how to turn those off.
So they don't go to your,
I don't get them anymore.
Oh, good.
I removed it.
You hit unsubscribe.
Great.
I stopped a while ago. All right.
Well, I still get the emails, and there were a lot, a lot.
So this is just a—
And I unsubscribed you, too.
You're not getting them anymore.
Thanks.
There's a smattering of, I mean, dozens, like dozens of emails that we got that were
food court- related questions.
You are all straight up freaks.
Whatever is being judged here, the stuff that you guys are sending in, keep sending it.
Facejamppod at roosterteeth.com is the email address.
Whoa.
Let me ask you this.
Uh-huh.
Now, the last food court has aired.
Yes.
Have people followed our instructions?
Are they a bit more clear on what the hell they want from us this time?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Not just sort of saying something and then they say the end bye?
Yeah.
Okay.
It helps.
They're not presenting an existential issue that they don't really know.
Yeah.
It also had some people, I saw people posting like,
I don't think that the frozen milk guy is crazy.
Check this out.
And it is way more frozen milk.
It looks like ice cream and you just go milk guy is crazy. Check this out, and it is way more frozen milk. It looks like ice cream, and you just
go, this is gross. At least they're not
asking us for help. Yeah, but here is
At least they know. Here are some people who are
asking you for help. Jammers,
court is in session.
There's a gavel
monkey. He's the bailiff.
Why does a bailiff have the gavel?
That makes no sense it's kind
of a kangaroo it's a monkey it's a jungle monkey all right uh this is two issues but they are
related uh from max issue one when i have grilled cheese i enjoy dipping it into applesauce okay
it adds flavor to the grilled cheese but my friends all call me insane for doing so.
I'm of the belief that this is normal and everyone who says it isn't is the insane one.
How do you rule here?
Okay.
Well, definitely not normal.
Yeah.
I think that's again, again, a lot of these, a lot of these, I'd like an actual legitimate
question.
Not right.
Hey, I don't live in reality.
Can you tell me that i live in reality
and i won't because i simply won't because you don't right it's that easy doing it is fine uh
it's doing it and not accepting that you're a fucking freak yeah just saying you're weird if
you don't do it the way it breaks down is clear as day where it's like here's something i do that everyone doesn't do yeah am i doing something
everyone doesn't do the answer is always yes yeah like true no it's not normal right are you weird
we'll get to that is it no one's like i don't know do you guys shower too oh you do oh yeah
oh boy i thought that was a weird thing i invented. Would you eat, if you had a grilled cheese, would you dip it in an apple sauce?
I mean, I suppose I'd try it if offered.
I would try it, but I can't imagine it being as good as dipping it in a tomato bisque of some sort.
Here's the other thing, too.
That would be my thought of how you pitch this, right?
Again, it's pitched as in, I'm not crazy, and instantly you're wrong.
What it should be is, hey, I know this is weird, but I'm telling you it's really good.
You should try this.
And then either my friends won't try it or they try it and then they disagree.
What do you think?
But you're just trying to be too normal.
I'm sorry.
It ain't normal.
It's not.
It ain't normal.
Now, I don't know how applesauce goes with cheese.
Yeah, cheese is the weird thing.
So, have you ever gone to, like, an Oktoberfest and you get the, like, German pancakes with the applesauce?
Yeah, the Dutch baby or whatever.
That's a combination you wouldn't expect to work.
Mm-hmm.
But it does.
It works really well.
So, I could imagine maybe judging it too harshly at first, the grilled cheese.
Like maybe there's some sort of more sophisticated version of this.
There is.
That exists.
It's a piece of apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese on the top, which is good.
That also sounds insane.
I've heard of that.
I haven't heard of that.
It's very good.
The cheese just gives it like a nice little body.
It's pretty good.
I haven't heard of that.
It's very good.
The cheese just gives it like a nice little body.
It's pretty good.
However, dipping a grilled cheese into applesauce is like,
that's like baby food shit.
I mean, applesauce is baby food, period.
If it's in applesauce form, it's baby food no matter what.
Some people put apple slices in their grilled cheese.
That's true.
I've done that, but it's usually like a tart apple. I don't do like a sweet
cinnamon apple thing. Right. And applesauce is
never served warm. Here's
what I don't understand. So I don't want a
combination. It's too many mixies. No, but you're
right. Then you're going back into apple pie.
It's warm. Yeah.
Here's my thing.
Who's doing anything with grilled
cheese? It's simple for a reason.
Okay.
Like,
you know,
there's,
there's like recipes for like the ultimate grilled cheese sandwich.
It's like bacon and this and that.
That's too much.
What I like about grilled cheese is you have it.
Yeah. It's like,
I got bread.
I got cheese.
I got a pan.
Yeah.
And then you make it.
It's like,
all right,
here's 57 ingredients.
I don't want applesauce in my grilled cheese.
There are ways to plus it up,
like dipping it in a tomato soup or something, or apparently dipping it in applesauce in my grilled cheese. There are ways to plus it up, like dipping it in a tomato soup or something.
Or apparently dipping it in applesauce.
Okay, so what's the ruling here?
I feel like I don't know.
I haven't eaten it.
It could be good, but it's fucking weird.
I can't knock it until I try it.
But something I've never heard of before.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm here to knock it.
But you aren't wearing a shirt, so you're not an official judge.
That's true. I was never an official judge to begin with. I know. So you're not an official judge. That's true.
I was never an official judge to begin with.
I know.
Right.
Yeah.
Nobody's asking this.
I'm a stenographer.
That's right.
Yeah.
But I'm over here going, I knock it.
Yeah.
I'm typing it up.
Yeah.
We're just going, sir.
Sir.
Okay.
So here's this other issue.
Grilled cheese related.
When my friend prepares grilled cheese, they toast the bread in the toaster before assembling
and putting the whole sandwich onto the griddle.
Why?
I believe my friend is crazy for doing this.
Is he? My instant
thought is why.
Maybe it's some sort of
masterful way to cook it, but it just
seems like you're burning it.
You're toasting your bread to toast your bread.
I'll be honest, a lot of times I make grilled
cheese and you gotta pull it off before
it burns. And that's not not that's just regular white bread going into the pan so you got to put enough butter
to make sure that it doesn't burn the true balance is hold on we got we got text coming in bigger
nick says was their bread kept in the fridge but even still you would still cook it on the griddle
yeah it's the refrigerator not the Yeah. Where's your cheese kept?
It's also cooked.
Right.
I'll be honest.
You don't keep bread in the refrigerator.
You'd still have it on the counter or the freezer.
The balance is always-
You can freeze bread.
What?
I said you can freeze bread.
I keep my bread in the fridge.
You put bread in the refrigerator?
Yeah.
I keep it in my bread box.
That's weird.
Why do you keep your bread cold?
That's odd.
You just said you keep it in the freezer.
No, no, no.
If you're saving bread long term- Yeah,. You just said you keep it in the freezer. No, no, no. If you're saving bread, like, long term.
Yeah, grandma style.
Grandma style.
You can freeze it.
Other than that, I wouldn't chill it.
It's interesting.
I don't know.
I guess I work on my bread slowly.
Hmm.
Yeah.
That's fine.
I mean, I prefer a cold sandwich, quote unquote, over, like, a hot sub.
Yes.
But the bread is room temperature, standardly.
Oh, I usually toast my bread before I go, so I guess I should just keep it out.
I learned something.
I really learned
something here today.
I really learned
something here today.
Guys, does this take
forever to warm up
your cold bread
to room temperature?
Whatever I want
to make a sandwich for.
I buy it at the store.
It's warm.
I got to bring it home,
cool it off,
and I got to warm it up
again when I eat it.
It takes so long
to make a sandwich
because I got to let
my bread thaw
for 30 minutes.
Okay, well, don't toast.
I guess the verdict is don't toast your bread
and then toast your bread?
Well, again-
We could have a huge discussion about this.
Without being told why.
Yeah.
I don't see to what end.
Yeah, there's just no reason to do it.
Yeah.
I just, yeah.
Toast happens so very easily.
Yes.
Right?
Who's ever going,
it's been in there 20 minutes.
Still not toasted.
You know what I mean?
Like you never heard.
Although it's not a toasted grilled cheese.
It's a grilled cheese.
It's true.
You got to grill the bread.
Yeah, you got to grill the cheese.
Why toast it first?
It just seems redundant.
It's redundant.
It's like redundant is a good,
I think it's a good ruling.
Well, it's like when you get the,
you get the frozen meals, right? Like a pizza, whatever, French bread pizza. And there's like redundant is a good, I think it's a good ruling. Well, it's like when you get the frozen meals, right?
Like a pizza, whatever, French fry pizza.
And there's like the lazy ass half microwave, half stove.
Yes.
Because it's faster.
It's like, man, I still got to use the stove.
Just put it in the fucking stove.
Or like the toaster oven.
Right, right.
There's no straight up microwave.
It's like, you could fuck it up.
You could like fucking melt the shit out of it.
And it'll be really, it already sucks. But it'll be really, it's already, it already sucks,
but it'll be really shitty,
but faster.
Eight minutes sooner.
Right.
I guess I'm good.
Yeah.
I guess just toast it for 22 minutes and then I'll eat it at 2 30 AM.
Okay.
Uh,
the judges have spoken.
I like that.
Oh yeah.
We need,
we need some sort of like,
that's our ruling,
like sign off thing where it's like the case is over where it's just like,
uh,
now get out. No, that's for the end of the episode i'm just saying like this case is like
why that's me telling that one person i think you could have the monkey bang the gavel but that's
all i can do for you i'm sorry um okay again the bailiff shouldn't know you're right it should be
like it should be like you know and we have spoken oh there you go that's good say that
something like that and we have spoken well that's good we have spoken that's good we should say it at the same time yeah okay good
ready ready three two one and we have spoken we have spoken all right all right we'll fix that
fix it um it'll sound great uh next one slide it this is slide it but remember to slide the
track back otherwise the whole episode's gonna be off slide it it's going to be off. Slide it back. It's like you start answering a question
before turning it.
Put it back.
Oh, man.
Okay, this next one's from Declan.
Okay, cool name.
My roommate,
wait until you hear his thing.
Cool person.
My roommate says,
I'm a weirdo
because whenever I have mashed potatoes,
I put tomato sauce on them.
I say this is the ideal way to eat them.
Who is right?
Again with these people.
Okay.
Never.
Okay.
Declan.
Declan and other future jammers of food court.
Yeah.
Do yourselves a fucking favor.
At least plead your case.
Yes.
I know.
Here's a fucking psycho here.
I do something fucking crazy.
I'm not crazy, right? That's it. That's the letter., fucking psycho here. I do something fucking crazy. I'm not crazy, right?
That's it.
That's the letter.
We need more information.
No, that's it.
I think it's good.
I think that's good info.
We need it if you want us to side with you.
Look, I want to side with the crazies.
You know what I'm doing out here.
We go, hey, I'm fucking crazy.
Am I right?
Yeah.
That's the question.
It's not just about that.
It's also about, like, I want to know why you think this is good.
Because maybe if you can convince me, I'll start doing it.
Did you trip and spill your fucking tomato sauce onto your mashed potatoes?
I need to know as well.
Where did this begin?
Were you concussed?
Did you think it was gravy?
It was gravy.
Soupy.
Like mashed potatoes with a tomato sauce
sounds crazy
as fuck
tomato sauce out of a can
it sounds crazy
that sounds yuck
it sounds so bad
on it's own
it sounds so gross
I think I draw the line
at mashed potatoes
with using it
as rescue goop
for vegetables
yeah yeah yeah
right
you know what I mean
it's like
I could eat the peas
or I could get
the mashed potato glue
yeah and then you go and you go oh I like eat the peas or I could get the mashed potato glue.
Yeah.
And then you go and you go, oh, I like all these peas.
Let's stock this mashed potato.
I don't even taste them.
Yeah, I do that.
I like peas.
Now imagine that you just poured tomato sauce all over it. Right.
Like a full on freak.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to not think about pizza salad again.
Right?
I'm picturing how red it is.
Pizza.
Hey, you want some pizza starch?
Imagine, you know the thing you pour gravy out of
on Thanksgiving?
That's just full of tomato sauce.
And you make a little tomato sauce boat.
You make a little well for your potatoes.
Oh, you put your thumb in it?
Yeah.
Right, yeah.
Put the back of the spoon in.
Finally, a place where tomatoes and potatoes
can come together.
Whoa.
Hey.
For too many years.
You say potato.
I say potato.
For too many years, the toes have been kept apart.
Spread the toes.
Put them together.
It all works.
Spread the toes.
Add some cheese.
Jesus Christ.
I definitely say no.
Would you dip a grilled cheese in a tomato sauce and gravy combination?
Or a mashed potato combination?
I mean, can I stop before it hits the mashed potatoes?
Like a normal person?
Right.
Dipping.
Oh, wait a minute.
Can we take case one and case two?
Right.
Hi, your honors.
Can I dip?
I dip grilled cheese in tomato soup.
Is that normal?
Yes.
That's fucking normal.
I put cheese,
melted cheese on my mashed potatoes.
Is that normal? Yes.
Butter?
This is a real
Declan, I don't know
about this one. I mean, I haven't tried it.
I can't imagine I would enjoy it. I encourage
Declan to write
back to us follow up
and yeah um present some supporting evidence but also why why and how this has happened
what he enjoys about it um we don't know anyone else we want to get to know we look this i i think
all of us agree we don't want this to be surface level yeah okay we're really out here trying to
help people and solve your problem.
I think you got to open up a little bit.
The true purpose of the food court is to have human interest come to light.
I think it's food empathy.
I think we need to rule on this one because I think you're really going to like the next one if you want some human interest.
Oh, I mean, my ruling is.
I suspend a ruling.
Right.
Until Declan gets back to us.
I say no.
I mean,
if he doesn't get back to us,
yeah.
It's a real conditional situation.
I'll throw a no. He can throw a conditional no.
Okay.
And we have spoken.
There you go. See? He did the...
And we have spoken.
Don't forget to drag the track back.
No, drag his forward this time.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
Michael's getting ahead of us.
This has some length, but this is, I think, what we're looking for.
Excellent.
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Head to Tim's and get yours today at participating restaurants in Canada. This is from James S.
I bring before you a case that has been in litigation for over two years
and needs to be settled once and for all.
Myself, James, my roommate, Hardy, often go to Dairy Queen for food
because there is one across the street from where we live.
Our go-to meal is the chicken strip basket, and sometimes we also get blizzards as a dessert. often go to Dairy Queen for food because there is one across the street from where we live.
Our go-to meal is the chicken strip basket,
and sometimes we also get blizzards as a dessert.
Classic.
He wrote desert. Doesn't matter.
It's all going good so far.
Despite the dessert.
One day, while eating,
I noticed my roommate dip a dry chicken tender into his chocolate cookie dough blizzard
before taking a bite out of it.
I immediately called him out on this, but he compared it to how you dip a fry into my vanilla M&M blizzard before taking a bite out of it. I immediately called him out on this,
but he compared it to how you dip a fry into my vanilla M&M blizzard,
which is one would do like dipping a fry into a frosty at Wendy's.
I think this comparison is absurd,
but we have a few mutual friends who back him up.
Just to be clear,
we both agree that dipping fries in ice cream,
whether it be vanilla or chocolate is perfectly normal thing we also both agree that catching m&ms on a fry or cookie dough on a
tender would be gross weird interesting where i that's a weird that's a weird place to draw the
line i mean right you can swim around would you agree agree? I like, so you put the french fry in, you go to scoop out the ice cream,
and someone screams,
Watch out, that's a dam!
Where we disagree is whether or not
dipping a dry, non-sauced chicken strip
in ice cream is a good combination.
For your consideration,
is dipping chicken tenders in ice cream normal?
And if it is,
does the flavor of ice cream,
chocolate or vanilla matter?
This is from a lawyer,
loyal jammer till death and beyond James S.
I guess that's some human interest.
That is,
I guess,
I guess my question is because it was specified.
Do you know,
are they both in agreeance that it's unacceptable with a
sauced piece of chicken?
That's how it seems because they are saying non-sauced repeatedly.
Because I will say it is.
Yeah.
It's unacceptable.
I don't know why you would do that.
Let me get a little ketchup.
I feel like you should have said that.
But he, in my opinion, alluded to it.
Oh, I feel like.
So I just want to say.
I feel like he hammered home dry.
I think that's agreed.
But Hardy thinks both are unacceptable.
Yes.
Oh, no, sorry.
Sorry.
He thinks both are unacceptable.
Yeah.
So he thinks both are unacceptable.
Hardy is saying I'm dipping my chickens.
Okay.
All right.
Jordan, first thoughts.
My first thought was definitely,
this sounds like a french fry situation.
Where you dip a french fry into the ice cream.
And they immediately brought it up.
So they are familiar with this practice.
And I can see how someone would want to branch out from french fries.
But I feel like chicken is a bit of a stretch.
Especially the Dairy Queen chicken tender.
Which is very bready.
Especially the Dairy Queen chicken tender, which is very bready.
I don't, I just don't picture that tasting great.
And it's definitely not normal, which is, again, the crux of the argument.
But it's weird because he is saying that they have friends who are, I think this is what's throwing James into a spiral.
James is suddenly questioning the nature of his reality.
Yeah, because they have friends who are going,
yeah, man, dip that chicken.
Like, go for it.
Right.
How are they saying it, though?
What look is on their face when they're saying it? I think there's a sly smile going,
yeah, dip your chicken.
I dip my chicken all the time.
Has James seen these people dip their chicken all the time?
Michael, what do you think?
I think I'm going to have to disagree.
Uh-oh.
You're for it?
I am for it.
Now, remember, in this honorable court, I'm just trying to judge the proper ruling.
Yeah.
And I'm thinking of precedence.
It's very important.
And I think the fry argument carries too much weight.
I personally don't dip fries in milkshakes, okay?
But I do accept it, okay?
It is an accepted practice.
I would say it's on the outskirts,
but it's an accepted practice.
Lots of people do it.
It's urban legend-ish status.
You don't go, what?
And freak out if you hear about it.
It's more like, oh, you're one of them.
Usually.
I would say it's a little weird that they,
um,
find it disgusting to get an M and M or that's,
that's weird.
That is weird.
Yeah.
I'm just saying,
you're dipping in an ice cream.
I'm just going to get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've never met a normal person who,
when you say that their heads explode,
they're just like,
Oh,
interesting.
You do that.
I think that was my reaction.
I went,
Oh,
well,
I'll never do that. But I guess that's the thing people do. Yeah. With the M and M's, you think you're that. I think that was my reaction. And I went, oh, well, I'll never do that.
But I guess that's a thing people do.
Yeah, with the M&Ms,
you think you're taking,
I even say risk.
I mean, it's an M&M and a French fry.
You just touch it.
It doesn't,
like, it's not like a bomb
that explodes onto the fry
and adds like a chocolate paste or something.
I don't quite understand that at all.
It's much more unappetizing
to think about dipping the chicken tender in just regular ice cream,
regardless of mix-ins, than a fry with an M&M on it.
I agree.
Yeah.
Like, I find that to be a weird line to draw.
I guess, for me, it makes more sense since I am not a fry dipper.
It is more similar to me since I wouldn't do either.
But maybe, like, are you known to dip a fry in your milkshake?
I've been known to dip a fry, yeah.
See, so maybe that's the thing.
Maybe that's like if you're a fry dipper, you're like, no, no, no, no, this shit's super weird.
But you're already doing a practice that I think is a little weird to begin with.
So it's not that much further to me.
I'll say this.
I do recognize it's a weird weird to begin with. So it's not that much further to me. I'll say this. I do recognize
it's a weird thing to do to dip a fry. It's this
weird thing that everyone does,
but it's normal
because everyone actually
does it. I don't know
James and Hardy. They do it.
It's true. It's true. It's not anecdotal.
People do it.
And I guess the chicken is...
My thing is, I think it's weird
but I also think if you're sitting
there and you have the fries and the chicken
and you're dipping the fries
in, it's not that weird to also dip
the chicken in, is all I'm saying.
If they're both right there,
I really don't see much of a difference.
I think we're entering a
Sopranos
if you put one thing in your mouth, you put anything.
I think if we have a split decision, we might need to try it out.
Oh!
You and I might need to try it for real and see if either of us change our opinion.
Now, here's the thing.
That's a suspended rule.
To me, that's an ultimate suspended rule. That's a suspended rule. To me, that's an ultimate suspended rule.
That's a suspended rule.
Because it's a draw.
Because Michael and I do need to be aligned on our ruling.
That's also what I think we should do for another Spit and Silly episode.
I feel like we should do a whole Spit and Silly dedicated to this because this is fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Like, to dip chicken.
This is like nuts to me.
To dip chicken in the ice cream. Where do draw the line that's exactly my question like do you dip a hamburger you start to see people
dip hamburgers into ice cream yep i've seen it this is again i'll mind you i don't eric where
are we from i don't do any of these things i've seen i've seen the ketchup swirl in the eye in
the in the mc the McDonald's ice cream.
They're putting a cheeseburger in it.
Oh, my God.
No.
I think this guy has to have done it.
Yeah, he did it.
Of course he has.
I've never done it.
But he's hard.
I know, but I'm just saying people do it.
But I've seen it before I even met this freak.
I've never seen it before.
I've never seen anyone.
But also, I've never seen chicken dipped in ice cream.
I've seen burgers.
I haven't seen chicken.
Wow.
Fries, long, dippable shape.
Chicken tenders, kind of similarly shaped.
It's kind of similar, huh?
Burger?
Yeah, squeeze it in there.
Hamburger, round thing in like two bits.
You take a bite and you got a corner.
It's like you've seen it.
That's how you do it.
Why would you do it?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't. I'm just telling you I've seen it. It's madness. I can't seen it. That's how you do it. Why would you do it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't.
I'm just telling you
I've seen it.
It's madness.
I can't explain it.
Okay, so.
All right, I'm going
to Vince Young's Steakhouse.
I'm bringing my
M&M's Blizzard.
I'm bringing my
M&M's Blizzard with me
and I'm dipping
my Vince Young's steak,
my filet mignon
into the ice cream.
Should our next.
I'm going to be like,
am I weird?
Should our next spit and silly be. You can do that if you want. Should our next. I'm going to be like, am I weird? Should our next spit and silly be.
You can do that if you want.
Should our next spit and silly be this?
Should we do.
You think we should do a back to back though?
But this is a good ruling that we can do.
It's a great ruling, but here's my question.
This, is this going to be long enough for a whole episode?
Or do we get a couple of rulings?
What else can we rule?
I don't know.
I'm just saying, do we save it for maybe two or three come up?
Maybe we'll have to do that.
And then we can do like a ruling episode.
A ruling episode.
If it doesn't happen,
then we do this.
Okay.
No, this is good.
I don't know that I can have a 30 minute argument
about whether or not what I just dipped into my ice cream was good.
I think if there's a couple of like spin off rulings.
What if we do,
okay, so here's the thing.
What if we do that?
What if we do,
what if we do the grilled cheese and applesauce? Oh God, I don't want to. I don't either. But here's the thing. What if we do that? What if we do... What if we do the grilled cheese and applesauce?
Oh, God.
I don't want to.
I don't either.
But here's the thing.
Those are bad.
Those are bad.
Right.
This actually kind of makes sense.
We agree that the other ones are bad.
If we get another ice cream chicken, let's talk.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
This could be lemons.
Yeah.
Oh.
Ice cream chicken could be lemons.
Definitely not going to be lemons. Listen. Ice cream chicken could be lemons. Ice cream chicken could be lemons. Yeah. Oh. Ice cream chicken could be lemons. Definitely not going to be lemons.
Listen, ice cream chicken could be lemons.
Ice cream chicken could be lemons.
You get some lemon chicken.
You have this playing on your phone in your kitchen while you're making dinner, and somebody
walks in, and it's just the sentence, ice cream chicken could be lemons, and they go,
what?
They activate?
Da, comrade.
Okay, so I think, hey, James, that's a great one. I think we're going to hang on to it, and I think hey James that's a great one
I think we're gonna
hang on to it
I think we gotta do
a spit and silly
we have a split court
yeah
that's the first
I would say that's
the first legitimate split
I think that's what
we have to call
the spit and silly
where we have rulings
on these
we have split court
split and silly
split and silly
banana split
okay we have time for one more.
Okay.
But that's a good one.
I'm excited.
Me too.
I'm excited.
Look, as much as I want to do now,
it's good enough to do it right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Always better to do it right.
Okay.
So here is the last one.
It's from Kenzie.
When I eat Chinese food,
talking sweet and sour pork,
beef and broccoli,
chow mein type,
I love to have it with milk.
Thick food plus thick drink
makes it refreshing
and washes everything down nice.
Oh my God.
All of my friends think
it is repulsive to have milk
with Chinese food. Please let meulsive to have milk with Chinese food.
Please let me know if the milk and Chinese food combo is acceptable or if it is a crime worthy of everyone's claims.
Big fan, Kenzie.
Okay.
Milk is tough.
Milk is tough.
I will say, Kenzie, thank you for explaining the logic behind it because I can tell you with like full confidence that you are in fact crazy.
Yeah.
Because thick food plus thick milk does not.
Thick drink.
Thick drink does not equal refreshing and washing it down.
Yeah.
You'd think maybe you want.
That's just not how that works.
Maybe too thick.
Too much thick.
Right.
It's like, it's like, let me eat something very like carby and drink the darkest
beer i see my see my this is funny because my boss did something similar oh really back in the real
world specifically with chinese food almost almost to a t where i was thinking are we talking like
this kensi code like oh i bet i bet it's thick i bet it's got any milk i bet that's like but in
more of the sense of what you're talking about now now I don't know that this is, this is still probably gonna be
anecdotal, but tracks a little
more. Anytime we would get Chinese
food, like during lunch,
he didn't really drink soda much, but whenever
we got Chinese food, he would drink Mountain Dew
and he was just like, he's just like
for some reason, the way the Mountain Dew like
cuts the oil, like of the
Chinese food. He's like, it's
just like all this like thick oil.
And he's like,
and I,
and I,
the Mountain Dew like slides it down more.
And I'm just like,
Mountain Dew is a thinner drink though.
No,
I understand.
I understand that.
That's what I'm saying.
But I'm just saying the idea is out there among people.
Apparently they'll have going,
okay,
Chinese food.
What am I going to drink?
I need a special drink and not I'm thirsty that's that's what i'm saying like specifically he would be like
oh i'm getting chinese food i'm gonna i gotta have that too yeah right okay i always thought
that was crazy uh still better than milk though a hundred percent yeah um i just don't buy the
argument that thick drink and thick food equals refreshing. I just, I don't know.
It does not sound refreshing at all.
It doesn't sound refreshing.
It sounds heavy.
It sounds like a stomachache waiting to happen.
It's very heavy.
And not even just for my lactose intolerance, because I'm not really much anymore.
I've mostly won.
It's not that aspect of it.
But just, there's not many meals I think of as an adult that you want to drink milk with.
Let alone like a large glass of milk, like cookies or it's a specialty drink.
Yeah.
Right.
Milk.
It's it's it's something that you use.
You got to drink it with something.
There's a reason.
There's got to be.
Like I just like I just got milk.
I just got into maple steamers, which is a New England specialty, which is just steamed
milk with some maple syrup
and a little bit of whipped cream and cinnamon.
Okay.
That's elaborate.
I would not drink warm milk and be like,
ooh, a sweet treat for me.
Sure.
But what if you were eating Chinese food?
I would definitely not.
Dude, I can't remember the last time I had a glass of milk.
Right.
Unrelated to a dessert.
Having a couple Oreos in that. Food milk. Right. Unrelated to a dessert. Yep. Just having a couple Oreos
in that.
Food cereal.
Right.
You freeze your milk
and put it in with your milk?
Crazy.
Sorry, Kenzie.
Kenzie,
that's...
I just can't abide it.
That's out there.
No.
Yeah, that's a no for me, dog.
Yep.
I mean, we'll allow you
to keep doing it.
Right.
Oh, absolutely.
But you deserve admonishment.
Absolutely.
It's not normal.
Next time your friends bring it up to you and they go, you're crazy for doing this,
say, yeah, I wrote into a podcast.
Then they also admonish me for the better part of five minutes.
But maybe try Mountain Dew.
Yeah, give that a shot and see what happens.
Try Mountain Dew.
Let us know if it has a similar effect.
Email us back and let us know how it compares.
And then if you do, I'll let my boss know.
And then he can try milk. I still talk
to him. You can let him know, hey man, next time you
eat Chinese food, put the Mountain Dew in his side.
I absolutely will. He'll say no.
Well, yeah, he's a regular
man. Right, but I can tell him how his Mountain Dew
went. Yeah, that's good.
Alright, and we've spoken.
And we have spoken. Fantastic.
If you want to send in
your food court cases,
you can...
Disputes.
That's right.
You can email us.
Please include some information.
Yeah.
Face jam pod.
Face jam pod at roosterteeth.com is the email address.
The way that those were written,
where it was like one side, the other,
and the question.
That's what we're looking for.
Don't feel like you have to write an essay.
We're not looking for a thesis here.
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be good.
Trust me, even if you try, it won't be.
Right, and I'll still have to pare it down.
So just hit us with-
But tell us what the hell you're talking about.
Hit us with the goods.
I'm excited.
I'm excited for more of these.
Also, check out Face Jam's Trucked Up.
That comes out November 17th,
so I don't know when that-
When does this come out?
Get trucked.
Thanks, Nick.
Great. So it's probably right arounded. Thanks, Nick. Great.
So it's probably right around then. It's out imminently.
Out now-ish.
If you didn't listen to this right away, it's out now.
Face Jam's
Trucked Up is coming out this week.
It's a cooking show where we don't cook, we just
eat. It's an eating show. It really is an
eating show. And it is trucked
up. Trucked out.
Can we eat now?
Is trucked down good? Yeah, we'll trucked up. Trucked down. Can we eat now? I'm hungry.
Is truck down good?
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Truck down is bad.
All right.
Do the outro.
Why are you holding it in front of me?
I didn't know if you had it.
I sent it to you.
I know I sent it to you, but I'm still making sure that you have it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I lost it.
Okay.
Hey, thanks for listening to Spit and Silly.
Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week.
That's right.
Next week. It's right, next week.
It's not this show, it's Face Jam, but it's the same feed.
If you've heard this, you'll hear that.
Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want.
Like this.
And like the things we talked about doing next time.
And we have spoken.
And we have spoken.
Perfectly, right on time.
And we have spoken.
Three, two, one.
And we have spoken.
Okay, come on.
Just slide again.