100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 6
Episode Date: May 30, 2023Order in the court, the Food Court. Our Hero judges are back to rule on some new Jammer cases. In this episode, we'll hear everything from can you leave pizza out overnight and still eat it to PB&J&M.... What is the M? Listen and find out. You'll be so mad. Come to RTX to swing through the Rat & Grackle Pub plus we're doing a live episode. www.rtxaustin.com is the website for info. Sponsored by Nuts http://nuts.com/facejam these are very good nuts that we genuinely enjoy. Are we nuts for them? Maybe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably, and usually, does.
Does.
Does.
Does!
It does not like this. I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones, the only person allowed to talk on this podcast. Michael, how are you?
I does good!
Thank you, Jordan.
What a kind, generable soul.
Do you like my word, generable?
I've been described as generable.
I wasn't going to say anything, but I immediately
looked at Jordan.
It suits him though, right?
I don't know if Tony thinks that.
I think Tony might
have it out for you now.
Tony, I think himself is pretty generable. I'm okay with think Tony might have it out for you now. That's fine. Tony, I think himself, is pretty generable.
I'm okay with people like that having it out for me.
Here's the thing I like about Tony as well.
If he has it out for Jordan, I would love to see him
express it in some sort of merchandise.
Here's the hat that says, I hate Jordan.
We get something that just doesn't have a note at all.
It's like, yeah, but why does Jordan look like shit?
I'm pretty sure somebody had it out for him.
We look like Greek gods
and Jordan's like a little gnome.
Some of us look like that anyway.
So, today
I figured we should get into another food court.
We're back in the court.
We need to dispense justice.
It's been a few spit and silly episodes
since we've been in the court.
I want to point at someone who's not there.
Yeah.
I'm doing it, but they're not there and go,
you!
Let me pitch this to you guys real quick
because we sort of talked about it, sort of haven't.
I want to kind of pivot that.
I would love to make this a show
that has some kind of video component
where it's you guys as judges,
Monkey Bailiff on the stenographer,
like there's that part of it.
But it's been that question mark of like,
what's the person,
like the person who's like writing in here
isn't going to be on the show.
Right.
And if you're saying,
no, no, I can be available.
No, we don't want that.
So we're trying to figure out the workaround.
It's not a logistics issue.
Yeah, it's not.
It's something we're trying to solve.
Let me know what you think about this.
What if we just grab random people that we know
and they read this thing,
but they don't necessarily have to defend it.
They're just the avatar that gets hammered
for the person that
is sending this stuff in.
It could be Pasta Pete reading
this thing and he doesn't
believe in it,
but he has to stand there and get
hammered. I agree.
Yeah, we should do it.
There does need to be someone to direct the ire towards.
But again, I think the important thing is that
if we are hammering them,
he's not defending it because he doesn't believe it.
He's just simply there to get hammered.
See, I don't know about that.
Really?
I think maybe we hand him a piece of paper
and say, defend this to the death.
Do you think he could do it?
I think it'd be fun to watch
anyone try.
On the whole
I think that's a good idea because we have a lot of
talented people who can
improvise. The problem is can we get them to
do this? Exactly.
And if we're getting
Pasta Pete to do it, it's going to be very
Pasta Pete-y.
Right. Isn't that what we want? He told me that
he went to a concert and then
he's like, but I lost my shoe.
And then we went, oh, that's crazy.
And then it was more conversation about the shoe and how it
was a nice shoe and he loved the shoe and all this stuff.
And he went, yeah.
I was crowd surfing. Yep, there it is.
And we went, got it. Okay.
It was like a long
walk to go. Well, of course you did this to yourself.
I'll make this a fast story, but I was just talking to
Pastor Pete when I first got here.
Gets around. He's around.
Floating in those halls.
This is a whole other story, but he
owes me a copy of the movie Gattaca.
Oh, yeah. I overheard him talking about that
the other day. Right. And the other day, we were
resolving. We really did.
We were resolving this issue where he was
finally replacing the copy of Gattaca. He was doing something.
We were shooting something and I went,
I went, oh, that's fine. You're shopping on Amazon.
I thought we were doing a shoot. And he went, I have to
buy Jordan Gattaca.
Did you get Gattaca? So,
what Chris did, I mean, what Pasta Pete did,
he, yeah,
he found a, like a
silver tin version of Gattaca. Oh, yeah, he was saying that it he found a uh uh like a a silver uh tin version of oh yeah he was saying
that it's better blu-ray ultra 4k version and uh interest and uh so he's checking out and he goes
okay what's your address and i go you don't have to send it to my house and he goes well if it
comes to my house you're probably not gonna get it for like a year. And I was like, that's a great point, Pastor Pete.
Okay, go ahead. Here's my address.
And he goes,
I hope nothing else gets sent to your house on accident.
The next day,
instead of one thing,
I got three things.
They were all addressed to me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
And nothing probably like, whoa whoa i can't believe just his
stuff right his stuff it was like it was like a silverware divider and uh what another thing that
was in a package that was like sealed and i was like well i don't want to open it i opened the
thing that was very obviously dvd shaped and pulled that out and was like okay chris we have
your stuff and he goes no my ranch ranch and my silverware dispenser.
So it said, like, all of these things said Jordan Sweers on them?
Well, they said Dr. Jordan Sweers because he thought it would be funny
if he put my title as Dr. Jordan Sweers.
He also thought it would be funny if he bought all of his stuff
and gave it to you from now on.
I meant, like, did it say Chris, but that's even better. Nope. It said
Dr. Jordan on it. Well, obviously
he put his name in and then it was like, yes, my
preferred. That's right.
Yeah. All his stuff says
Dr. Chris on it. Oh, fuck. Dr.
Pasta Pete. Oh my God.
Anyway, that
ruling would go against him. Yeah, I
understand. Let's get into some other
ones. Okay, let's get into some rulings for Face Jam Food Court.
Monkey Bailiff, bang a gavel.
There's wood right in front of you.
Hey, how's that gavel coming along?
It's almost there.
We got, so we are making a gavel.
Who knows we need it.
I'm going to be fucking slamming it constantly.
The laser etching that we have on it looked good, but it can look better.
So Tony went, let's do it again.
Let's see what we can change and perfect.
The image was basically a little less complicated.
It was so complicated.
Yeah, it started to look good, but it lost some of its sharpness.
So yeah, have we announced that or no i
guess we have now we've definitely talked about it on the yeah on this show oh that's fine i think
we're gonna have them for rtx so we're making a little little food core gavel and it's gonna be
the little hammer that's what the gavel is and then the little piece of wood that you go bang
bang that you hammer on oh man yeah i love our rat and Grackle Pub idea. Dude, it's all so good. We should, maybe
next year, or if we could
rig something together really quick, a little
food court where people can
bring their cases to us in person.
What if we just do impromptu food courts?
No, no, no.
We could do that. We also should
do... What else should we do?
In the Rat
and Grackle, we have like a suggestions box but
have it be like leave your food courts here okay like we could get real handwritten yeah and then
well then we could just maybe pull one out here and there or something that's what i'm saying like
do it for people i'm just saying we could have a we could have like an actual what if we did
what if we just judy we're like yeah man what if we just suddenly we were
there and just did a food court yeah and not asking well it's not gonna be sudden you're
talking about it now so it's two and a half months away so right no but then we'll stop
talking about it they'll forget no problem uh here is the first uh food court. This is from Lauren. All right. Hello, honorable judges, Sauce Monkey, and Eric.
I don't know why I'm last.
I come to you today with a cheesy opinion of my own
and would appreciate some input.
A couple weeks ago, I went out to dinner
and shared a spinach artichoke dip with my partner.
As they brought it out, I immediately noticed
that the beautiful baked top layer of
cheese. Before I could even get my chip, my partner began stirring the top layer in with the rest of
the dip. Now all of the dip has become one and I don't stand a chance to get the cheese. Oh, judges,
I come to you today asking this. Do you mix your cheese dips if there is a layer of cheese on top?
Am I wrong to think it's better to keep them separated? Thank you for your cheese dips if there is a layer of cheese on top am i wrong to think
it's better to keep them separated thank you for your time lauren loyal bug what an excellent
question from our loyal bug i think that's so here's the thing i think this is good because
she clearly wants the cheese separation and her partner went mix it up yeah so i made an executive
decision for both of them yep you know he's a man he knows what's best
for her um not you know you're right there is always one in an episode
michael unplugged his mic um i'm just saying this can't sound good some underlying relationship
issues here so so if i were if if this were, am I the asshole?
I'd say break up with that man.
Damn. It's the only solution.
Okay.
How do you feel like if it's,
so here's the thing, if it's for the table, typically
that's what it is, like a queso or something like that.
It's for the table. Are you mixing? Are people
mixing? You cannot make
the choice for everyone at the table.
I agree. You can
spoon yourself some and put it on
your plate and mix that up if you really want.
I don't know. That's a lot, though.
You're putting a table with a bunch of people.
I feel like it is what it is.
Do you think the vultures
pick it clean? I'm just saying
you're not wrong.
If one person makes it, it makes the decision
for the table. But I almost would rather one person just make the decision and be done with it.
Can you imagine a table with people trying to siphon off, like, scoops to not mess with layers?
It's insanity.
Now, in this situation, it's two people.
That's different.
I'm talking about in a larger group.
Two people, it's very easy to just go, all right, what are we doing here?
How do you want to attack this thing?
It's also very easy not to do the whole thing.
I'm in the camp of mix.
I always mix.
Interesting.
I go case by case.
It sounds like to me, Lauren saw this and was like,
that's a good looking top cheese layer.
I don't want to mix that up.
I want to get in on that cheese.
I guess I don't really understand that though.
It's still in there.
I don't really understand.
But it's been mixed.
It's been redistributed like whatever like if you wanted like that good i get part of the top layer
here's my want to get in there here's my point you're talking about like in this is for two
people right so it's like all right we're gonna get this thing and they mixed it you're like ah
they mixed it i don't want that and i they mixed it. I didn't want that. And I get that. But also,
it's very specific.
Your order, unless you're saying,
hey, let's get the queso so we can eat the top layer of cheese. That's like a lot of
shit to unpack just for another person.
Like, oh, I didn't know you had master plans
for the layer of cheese. I thought we were going to get the food
and eat the fucking food. You know what I'm saying?
It was a very spontaneous thing where it was like,
whoa, that looks good. I want to get in on that.
I gotta be honest with you, someone this passionate about it,
it ain't spontaneous.
There's no way.
There's no way.
They went there for that, and they wanted it,
and then they didn't get it, and they were mad.
And I get that.
But to me, I don't give a shit.
I'll just mix it.
To me, it sounds like a communication issue.
So here's the thing.
Oh, big time.
Here's the part that's telling to me is the sentence that says,
now all of the dip has become one
And I didn't get a chance at the dip
The way God intended
Hold on
There's some real hard lines on this cheese
Because at the end of the day
It's still in there
I understand you're not getting the texture
But now it's become God's mistake
I think God intended all
the cheese to get mixed around together
and everybody was in the
ball together. Except avocado.
Fucking get rid of avocado.
It's the only time I don't mix. But again,
I'll ask, right? If Lindsay and I are getting
something, I'll either get
a different one because they really like cilantro
and avocado and I hate it. But
it's a thing where like
if they want it, I can take the hit.
It like reduces my enjoyment by about
10-15%. But I can take
an 85 and still be happy.
Sometimes though,
as far as the mixing, everything's pretty
much mixed. I'm thinking of like Alamo Draft House. Everything's
mixed, but all the green shit is
right in the middle. But it gives
me the option. I can like scoop out half of it, throw it away, and then mix it.
And so then, again, like you said, Jordan, communication really would solve this whole
thing.
Right.
But instead, it's a weird cheese fetish.
I think that you swayed me a little bit when you said, oh, I didn't know you had master
plans.
I thought we were just going to eat the food.
And it's like, yeah, that's what we're doing here.
Right.
Again, if it's like I'm with my significant other
and that's their thing and you're trampling it,
that's different, which this could be.
It's like, I can't believe, you know I love the cheese.
But if it's just like normal human behavior.
Right.
It's insane.
What isn't normal human behavior about stewing for days on end
and writing into a podcast.
Writing into a podcast about it.
Well, they went to the right place.
That's true.
I feel like I'm not 100% one way or another
on always mixing and always not mixing.
I agree.
So I feel like, okay, well, we do agree on that.
So that's good.
I think our ruling should be,
you just got to communicate this.
You just got to say,
you got to say like, don't mix the whole thing.
I want that cheese action
the way God intended.
At least with two people.
And I don't want to go to hell.
Right.
It seems like an easy route.
Like again,
when you're talking about like
getting separate bowls or whatever,
I'm leaving.
I'm gone already.
Okay.
But with two people,
that's acceptable.
That's a half and half.
If there's more than three,
let me make it easier for you.
Now there's one less.
And I'll leave.
So can the ruling be something like they're sentenced to have to go out and do this again,
but they have to talk about it before there's a mix or a non-mix?
You have to set rules of engagement before you interact with the dip.
I guess the thing we don't know is they could have the conversation and it'd go great,
or they could have the conversation and he goes, I don't give a fuck.
And then he mixes it with his finger.
And they're like, whoa.
Oh, boy, that's even more problems.
But we don't know because it hasn't happened yet.
Right.
Well, that's when you post on Am I the Asshole
and they tell you to break up with them.
Yeah, you're right.
But instead, just post it here.
Even smarter.
So what are we saying the rule is?
I mean, if you got to ask me,
I think there's just so many unknowns.
Look, if that's who you are, if you identify as a person who wants their cheese on the top layer,
I feel like you really got to make that known.
And if your significant other doesn't, like, respect that,
and it might just be cheese, but, like, this could be problems for the future.
Right.
I mean, first step is always just cheese, and then who knows what's after that.
That's my relationship advice.
If you're asking is it weird or not,
get over it.
Yeah.
Just eat the fucking food.
Is that the ruling is get over it?
Just eat the fucking food.
The ruling is eat the food.
Don't give me instructions.
Is that how you're eating your popcorn?
From my mouth?
That's not how I do it.
Right.
If it's a big deal, talk about it.
All I can say, say though is I appreciate
the passion for cheese
when someone's getting so mad they're talking
about God
when you go out and you're thinking about
that artichoke dip like you're here
you've ordered it you're paying money for it
you're probably overpaying it
oh you're definitely overpaying
for it you know like you want it right
you want it your way so talk right. You want it your way.
So talk about it.
So have it your way.
Just go to Burger King.
So that's the ruling is have it your way.
That, well, but they didn't.
Right.
We have said so that's the ruling so many times.
I don't know what we're ruling.
Oh, yeah.
That's why I want to get the ruling.
Michael, what's our ruling?
Ruling is.
Don't look at him.
Eat the cheese. Okay. Eat the cheese. All right. Case closed. Eat the ruling. Michael, what's our ruling? Ruling is... Don't look at him. Eat the cheese.
Okay.
Eat the cheese.
All right.
Case closed.
Eat the cheese.
Monkey gavel.
Again, there's wood.
He's not reaching.
That's fine.
At least he said it that time.
Next time you want to...
Weaponizing confidence
on the monkey's part.
Some bailiff.
This next one's from Evan stop that prisoner
he's too far
alright
from Evan
I recently had a debate with friends
after leaving out pizza overnight on the counter,
parenthetical, in a closed box, and then ate some of it the next morning for breakfast.
One person was horrified and thought it should be thrown away.
I said it was perfectly fine up to about 12 to 18 hours, aka overnight.
And then a third person pretty much said,
no limit as long as it still seemed fine.
The question is, what is the maximum amount of time
you can leave pizza out not being refrigerated
before you throw it away instead of eating and reheating it?
Okay, and the opposite of the last ruling
and all that country, the person writing this
knows what's up.
They know what's going on.
The other people don't know what they're talking about.
It's fine. The one day's going on. The other people don't know what they're talking about. It's fine.
The one day is a
look at it and see. You don't go after
ever one day. You don't even go to the next night.
Don't go two nights. The only reason you're going
to the p.m., that pizza better have fucking
been delivered at 1 a.m.
If you're eating it at 6 p.m. the next day,
it better have been a 1 a.m. pizza. And I've been in that
situation myself. You can get pizza delivered
late on the weekend when you're in a hot tub in the backyard. 12.55 and then 1 a.m. pizza. And I've been in that situation myself. You can get pizza delivered late on the weekend when you're in a hot tub in the backyard.
Okay?
12.55 and then 4 p.m.?
Well within the 12 to 18 hour window.
I completely agree with this person.
Okay.
It's a, look, it's up to you.
Doesn't bother me at all if people are like,
I'm not going to eat it.
That's fine.
What bothered me is people that are like,
you're going to get sick.
You can't eat that. And I go, my whole goddamn life, I've not going to eat it. That's fine. What bothered me is people that are like, you're going to get sick. You can't eat that.
And I go, my whole goddamn life,
I've been eating food the next day.
As long as it's not like milk or dairy or whatever.
Yeah.
It's, do you know how long it took humans
to get here where we are?
Like people have been eating a lot of shit
they shouldn't be eating.
We've done way worse.
For a long time.
And that worst case scenario is like,
I'm Michael Poopies.
Yeah.
So I am a month.
Dude, I've had so many arguments about that.
Like, we're moving here early on because I was in my early 20s and I would do that all the time.
Or like, maybe I'll have a sandwich and just throw it over in the corner and then pick it up out of the corner later and eat it.
It's like wrapped up, like a sub sandwich.
That's a go-to wrapper.
You can throw that thing anywhere.
Right.
I do think the big difference between the,
I would not eat the pizza if it had been uncovered.
You know what?
I agree.
There's something about it being in the box
that was a big stipulation for me.
Him saying closed box?
That made a big difference.
Here's the thing about that too,
and I will say,
I agree with you,
but it really isn't a sanitary thing.
It's going to be fucking disgusting.
You just can't leave anything in
the air because it just turns to shit.
So not only is it
like you're assuming like dust and
whatever could fall. Assuming it's a perfectly
clean environment. If it's vacuum sealed
and it's open, it's going to be yuckier.
Just cover anything ever.
It's the only thing I do. If I have
the boxes and you close it, if you're like a slice
of pizza and it's like, I may come back later, but I'm probably not gonna, so I want to do something but minimal paper towel. Dude, it's the only thing I do. If I have like the boxes and you close it, if you're like a slice of pizza and it's like, I may come back later, but
I'm probably not gonna, so I want to do something but minimal,
paper towel. Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely. Yep.
This person, they know what they're talking about.
Look at this body. This is an old
pizza body.
The person who doesn't know what they're talking
about is the guy who said
unlimited.
Jordan, that's why I said all the other people
are wrong. Not just the first person.
The third person. There is a sweet spot.
I will say that the guy who said
unlimited time took so much heat off
the guy who said no, throw it out.
Because it's the third and sixth. I never had that guy.
Every time I'm arguing
it, I never had the unlimited guy.
It's like a cartoon where you
got the angel and the devil on your shoulder and the angel's like, no, it's gone bad. It's like a cartoon where you got the angel and the devil on your shoulder,
and the angel's like, no, it's gone bad.
It's been overnight, and the devil's been like, there is no limit.
You can eat it five years from now as long as it looks good.
I'm fucking pissing on it.
In your head, I feel like you can see exactly what both those people look like,
and they're really different.
I'm surprised the three of you are friends.
Yeah, that's wild. Also, they're not friends. I'm surprised the three of you are friends. Yeah, that's wild.
Also, they're not friends.
This happened on a subway.
The pizza's been out on the subway for 12 to 18 hours.
I covered it.
You come back into the subway car,
you see it's been disturbed.
Who touched my pizza?
It's got my name on it.
It was the perfect temperature.
I'll say this. I'll even add to this
to a certain point. I don't think it's
good. I'm not like
pizza's great when it's left out.
Day old cold pizza
sucks, but you can eat it.
I'm not a cold pizza person.
I don't like cold. I grew up, again,
plenty of people like, I fucking love
cold pizza in the morning. It just doesn't do it for me. I just don't like eating pizza grew up again plenty of people like i fucking love cold pizza in the morning it
just doesn't do it for me i just don't like eating pizza cold same i'm not talking pizza that's gone
cold i'm talking refrigerator pizza it's dead to me if it wasn't the fridge oh yeah i will leave a
pizza out or something of that nature but it's out later come back go no why'd you put in the
refrigerator because i might have eaten it later now now another now it's got other steps well now
it's just fuck this wow that's crazy it's it's gone. Well, now there's steps involved. Well, now it's just fuck this.
Wow, that's crazy.
It's not.
Well, okay.
Unless, I won't take it out and eat it cold.
Fuck no.
And I won't put it in the microwave.
It's dog shit.
The only way I'm going to do it is if I actually like put it in the fucking toaster oven.
You got to do it.
That's the thing that Tony didn't understand.
He was like, oh, toast, bagel, pizza.
Pizza.
Right.
Well, that's a toaster oven.
The other thing was toaster. And the other thing's just a toaster
Yeah yeah yeah
Maybe try to just put your pizza in the toaster
I mean you gotta stop talking about it on the podcast
We make the
Like
Pizza toast
We have to make the toaster
Pizza toast
And now it's like toaster sales go up
Hang on
Hang on
We're gonna disrupt
No toaster sales are gonna go up
What I'm saying
Yeah what I'm saying
There's like four goddamn reasons to own a toaster
And if we had another one That's 20% of toaster sales are going to go up. What I'm saying, yeah, what I'm saying, there's like four goddamn reasons to own a toaster. And if we had another one that's 20% of toaster sales
around the goddamn world.
There's like triangle-shaped little traps
so that they hold the pizza slice.
Think of like an Uncrustable.
But that exists already.
I just bought them yesterday.
What?
Uncrustable exists.
We can't invent that.
Well, no, the pizza Uncrustable.
Oh.
I'm saying imagine Uncrustable.
Oh, okay.
You know the thing we were talking about?
You know what else I saw yesterday?
This will really fucking blow Tony's
asshole up.
It's called
Bauza. It's
Bau, but
pizza. No way. No.
With actual mozzarella in it.
Is it rice that
is like marinara color?
How weird.
I bought it.
It comes in a two-pack, and I'm sure it sucks ass, but I bought it.
That's the other beauty, as I will say.
Buying food that in no way will ever be good is still totally valid when you have children
because they're like, this is some crazy thing.
You're like, wow.
Right.
In my house, someone's got to eat it.
Yeah, you're going.
And it's going to be me.
You're just going, I don't like this at all.
And then you throw it away.
Anyway, our ruling is you are correct.
Oh, yeah.
Ruling with Evan, who says 12 to 18 hours.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not something I'm doing on purpose, right?
It's not like, here's a pizza hack.
But I got to agree, food in general, especially pizza.
Especially pizza. Covered in the to agree, food in general, especially pizza. Especially pizza.
Like, come on, people.
Covered in the box.
You know, as long as it's not like a billion degrees, like melting away or whatever.
I do understand the rule of like, take a look at it.
Yeah.
But that only comes into play when it's nearing like the, I shouldn't be eating this anymore
time frame.
Right.
Even if something looks spectacular,
it's like, this pizza looks amazing.
It's a week old, but it looks amazing.
It doesn't matter.
That's where the other friend comes in and goes,
it looks great, I'm going to eat it.
The look is still irrelevant.
It doesn't matter.
It's been three days and it looks great.
That's insanity.
That's absolute insanity.
There's goddamn dairy in it.
It's fucking made of cheese.
It's changed into a different matter. You're gonna shit
blood.
We got time for one more?
We got time for one more.
Nick, just cut
out all the times we're breathing.
We can gain time. Gain time!
We got time back. Time travelers.
This is from
I know he put them all
in. I know. This is from uh no he put them all in i know this is from david hello hi i'm a long
time listener and i have a question if whether spelled wrong or not this food combo is weird
so i think we all agree that pb and j is a staple sandwich for kids growing up but my brother makes
it a little bit different he makes peanut peanut butter, jelly, and mayo sandwiches.
Disgusting.
He would eat them all the time
and claim that they were very tasty.
This is...
I think that he is a fucking freak slash animal.
Thank you, God.
So, in summation,
I just really want you guys to rail him.
Sincerely, listener who is ashamed of his brother...
Oh, no, to put his name.
Well, David, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, I mean i'm i'm sorry but also
you're right that's fucking disgusting um just absolute heinous it's like and and and it's not
only in the south like other places do it but they don't do it on the east coast putting fucking oil
and vinegar on tuna fish it's oh yeah to me of that which is mayonnaise it's just like yeah
you're mixing you're mixing oil and vinegar with what are you doing it's what that's on tuna fish. It reminds me of that, which is mayonnaise. It's just like, there's mayonnaise. You've made mayonnaise.
You're mixing
oil and vinegar with,
what are you doing?
What?
That's crazy.
That's insane.
I don't like mayonnaise,
but I understand
people like mayonnaise.
On chicken sandwich,
sure,
that's where mayonnaise goes.
In potato salads and all,
great.
Mayonnaise has a purpose
in this world.
Mayonnaise is not a thing
where you should be looking
to find other ways
to use it.
Here's the thing. I don't approve to find other ways to use it here's the
thing i don't approve of this but i understand it happens and it's it's acceptable as the world sees
it uh this is uh ranch it's not ranch okay i don't think you should be eating ranch with everything
like pizza yeah but i accept that people do you're trying to do it with mayonnaise you don't just
slop mayonnaise on something like ranch and just try and make it a thing
Outrageous
Nick's waving shit around
I think Nick's a freak and I don't want to try it
I think he's a freak and it's disgusting
Especially after bows and shreds
Peanut butter and jelly and mayonnaise
So let me ask
Why would you ruin something that's so perfect
What were you looking for
The taste of it
How do you think he makes it?
Are you asking or does he tell you?
No, I'm asking because when I think of a peanut butter and jelly,
you can do a piece of bread, peanut butter,
piece of bread, jelly, and then put them together.
Maybe he does that middle bread
for the mayo.
Whoa!
Double-sided middle bread.
I thought you shouldn't put mayonnaise on it.
What side? It's probably easier put mayonnaise on it. What side?
It's probably easier to mayonnaise the jelly side, right?
I imagine if I were some sick, disgusting fuck.
The knife is all fucked up now.
I think I would put the mayo on first, then the jelly,
and then the peanut butter on the other.
Yeah.
If we were forced to do it.
That's absolutely
terrible. And I guarantee you that's not
the way David's brother does it.
I do like that he kind of tricked us
by throwing his brother under the bus.
But I also think he doesn't have a brother.
Yeah. I think it might just be him.
I think that David's
talking about David. How did he sign off?
He's too embarrassed? Yeah, he's too embarrassed
to have his brother be his brother
so he's ashamed to give his name.
But his email address is his name.
And his brother lives in Canada.
He goes to a different school and you don't know.
He's a transfer student.
Yeah, the ruling is that it's freak shit.
Yeah, that is freak shit.
That's definitely freak shit.
I can't even imagine what it's bringing to the table that you need.
Like, who likes mayonnaise that much that they're trying to work it into something as good as...
It's like...
Oh, man.
Mayonnaise works so much better as, like, a...
Like, an ingredient.
Like, it's there to, like...
It's there structurally.
Yeah, it's not there to be the star.
It's not to get all willy-nilly.
Yeah.
Like, adding, like, mayonnaise to a Reese's be the star. It's not to get all willy-nilly. Adding mayonnaise
to a Reese's cup or something, it just
seems so unnecessary. I love Reese's.
You know what would really put this over the top?
Put some mayonnaise in here.
Now, a nice layer of cheese on top of a
Reese's cup, as long as you don't mix it, that
could be pretty good.
Like how people put a slice of cheese on apple
pie? Yeah, I haven't ever
had that, though. I haven't had that either.
You just set it on top?
Yeah.
It melts a little bit.
Cheese works on a surprising number of foods.
It just sort of brings flavors out.
I wouldn't do it on peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know that it would work on a Reese's Cup either.
I don't think it would work.
I don't see a reason to try, but...
Yeah.
Peanut butter and mayo and jelly is gross.
And freak shit.
And your brother's freak shit.
Yeah, and I'm sorry.
And even though you acknowledge it and asked us,
you are also freak shit.
Sorry, just by relation.
Right, no.
So you should try and get your brother help to help you.
Just to help your name if your brother's real.
If you're trying to...
If your brother's real.
If you're trying to throw him in front of the firing squad,
you're going to get a little too.
Yeah, you might get shot a little bit.
Right, you might get your arm shot while you're pushing.
It's a good ruling.
We don't wait.
We just start shooting, and you might get caught up in it.
Why did you even say firing squad?
Let's just say it's gross food.
You know what sucks?
I love Spittin' Silly in general, and I do like that
we can, quote, do whatever we want.
But I also love this show, and
we do about three
every 90 days.
Yeah.
It would be nice. We're trying to work on something.
We'll figure it out. It would be nice to find a way to do more
of these. To do more, yeah. But I do want to have a million more than we need food court is so
fucking good food court's great too because also you're only seeing like a tiny fraction of the
the right the number we get but the best part is you're not and we're not even lying to you saying
it's the best fraction yeah it's just the ones we pick these are just like like imagine the best
ones ever we'll probably never see.
There's a really good one that was sent like, I don't know, in the middle of
this six week gap that
we'll probably never get to.
They'll always be there. Yeah, don't stop sending
them. Maybe in
ten years, you know, we'll get there.
In the backlog, if we're going to try this new show where we hammer
Pasta Pete for having your food opinions.
It's true. Doctor Pasta Pete.
Or like shit.
We could always even do, the beauty of this is we always even do like a
fucking stream, like a snack attack style.
That's a good idea.
We can just issue rulings for like two hours.
The point is it's a good problem to have.
To have tons.
It's a good one.
We ain't sweating.
Nuh-uh.
Because also, you know, a lot of them are really bad.
And that makes me angry
yeah
and then I block that email
get them
fucking get them
well
or else
that's uh
spittin' silly
and that's uh
face jam for this week
uh if you wanna
follow us
on instagram
and on twitter
at face jam pod
you can come to
rtx
come see us
july 7th through 9th
we'll be at the rat and grackle pub
you might get some justice.
Yeah, there might be justice being served
directly in your fucking face.
I think you're going to be blown away
at how fucking straight my back is.
You're going to be like, whoa.
Blaine couldn't believe how straight your back was.
Yeah?
He was very impressed.
Wow.
He said, whoa, he's getting big
and his back's getting straight.
And I said, watch this video.
And that's how it ends.
Big time.
Yep.
So you guys can follow us, Instagram, Twitter.
Come see us at rtx, starroachdeeth.com.
Get all the Face Jam stuff.
But that's Spittin' Silly.
Thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly.
Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week.
That's right, next week.
Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want.
Goodbye.
Court's adjourned.
Does the stenographer
say that
fuck off
the bailiff doesn't
really hit the gavel
either but we make
him do that
so
hey
tell Nancy Grace
she's a bitch