100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Snacklog 1
Episode Date: October 4, 2022Instead of waiting for a new Snack Attack, Our Heroes tackle some of the backlog of snacks that are sitting in Eric's office. Some delicious treats are on the menu today from OniExpress. It's all Main...e made foods, but not lobsters. This one goes all over the place. What is a kelp bar? Gross. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does.
I'm your host, Jordan Swears, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones.
How's it going, Michael?
I'm good, bro! I'm good, dude.
This song, it's still going.
Here's the thing. Even in episode three, granted, we didn't have this in episode one, so he's only done
it twice.
Jordan already had to dance a little bit before he got into the intro.
It just feels right.
It just feels right.
Now imagine two and a half years of this man screaming at me, start the intro, start the
intro.
Sometimes you just got to let it breathe.
You got to let the song-
You don't know.
Let the song take you.
You don't do intros, so you don't know.
This guy's never co-hosted a podcast.
And he never will. Thanks.
Well,
we're here today.
We kind of wanted to do something different from the last time
we ate the disgusting pizza.
Are we going to eat another pizza sub?
No, we are not eating a pizza sub salad.
Sub salad is putting it mildly.
We're going to do what we're calling snack log.
We have an abundance of snacks that get sent to us.
And instead of waiting for a snack attack, which we will still do,
I think doing like a little half hour get together where we kind of go through some of these snacks will be fun.
Easier to blast through.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Are we so are we like, what is the snack backlog like like what what
what time in of last year two years ago are we backed up to quite a bit there's a lot i mean to
the point where like food will be expired oh no yeah yeah that's not good no so we should get we
should get through some of these you know i don't know how many snacks we're gonna get through in
half an hour but no that's up to michael um that's me wow okay that's fun well here we have a first
snack which is sent to us that's a notebook bro you're gonna eat that snack this guy this guy's
used to eating his homework and being like i don't know where it went my dog are you your dog
i'm my dog here's another thing i just want to point out quickly, which I love, and it's by design,
but maybe the very beginning of Face Jam Prime, I'm calling it, Eric wasn't-
You can just call it Face Jam.
No, no, no, no.
I don't want to confuse-
Because some people might think this is so Face Jam-y that this is Face Jam.
No, no, no.
This is Spittin' Silly.
Not to be confused with the segment Spittin' Silly, which is Face Jam.
Yes, correct.
Very confusing name.
I love it.
And also, we're not taking out Spittin' Silly. No, Face Jam. Yes, correct. Very confusing name. I love it. And also, we're not taking out Spittin' Silly.
No, it's still there.
We've got Spittin' Silly the show and Spittin' Silly the segment.
It's like a town being in the township of the same name.
Exactly.
It's like how London is also in London.
See, think about it.
But anyway, what I like is we intro, you know, host Jordan, co-host Michael,
specifically say this man is not a co-host, and then he leads the show, never say his name.
I just like the idea.
Because he's not a host.
It's true.
But I just like someone listening and going, who is this guy?
We said, you're not a host, and then he started explaining what we're doing this episode.
So let's eat some snacks.
We got to move it along, guys.
Who's this snack guy?
This is from Oni Express.
Got an idea for a theme box to send in,
so I put together a bunch of regional Maine-made foods.
Maine?
Yep.
It's all lobsters.
Yeah, it's going to be all fucking sea salt shit.
Okay.
We have Tati's.
Tell me it's marinara sauce.
Tati's ghost pepper hot sauce.
Okay.
Well, I'm not going to eat that.
Why would we eat that first?
That's going to ruin everything.
That's just the first one.
It's the first thing I grab.
You're going to hand it to us.
And like, it's shoving down our throat.
He's like grabbing my throat.
Fine, I'll grab something else.
Galaxy salsa.
What is another salsa?
Galaxy spelt I-E as well.
There's a picture of a car?
Yeah.
I don't know what that...
Made with zucchini?
That's a chunky salsa.
We have all these crackers.
There's pictures of fire,
and so I think that's hot, too.
Let's try some of these with some of these crackers.
So now let me ask you this.
You brought these two out
and didn't get chips or anything?
There's crackers!
Right, there's leftover crackers.
Yes!
From the last Fortnite.
From a Fortnite ago.
Yeah, they're a Fortnite old at this point.
And there's also one, two, three, four packets. Okay, you got it. Here, you want chips? I mean, yeah, I just said that. Yeah. Yeah, I do a fortnight old at this point, and there's also one two three four packets got it here
You want chips? I mean yeah, I just said that yeah, yeah, I do want chips
Okay, okay, he busted out a box that has the word chips. He also said is struggling to say yeah
How about this hang on yeah?
Give me give me like like he took a gun out like two seconds
He took a gun out and then the clip fell out yeah
He's like hang on he went to pick it up and then like the fucking Springs pop that
Wait wait wait wait hang on hang on hang on hang on does he's like, wait, hang on. He went to pick it up and then like the fucking springs popped out. He's like,
wait, wait, wait, hang on, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.
Does anybody have any glue?
Here you go.
Hang on.
Whoa.
Illegal chips.
The illegal chips.
Whoa.
Ever taste a maggot?
You're the no bug guy.
Yep.
What? But they're not actual maggots.
They're not actual maggots.
Ever taste the maggot illegal chips?
Casu Marzu maggot cheese flavored.
These are the flavors the government doesn't want you to try.
Here's another one.
It says illegal owl who is an alligator.
They're just flavored like that.
They aren't actually maggots.
I'm not eating this.
And then here's another one.
It's horse meat.
I'm not eating this.
Flavored.
Horse meat I'll eat before maggot chips.
Okay.
And then how about this?
That sucks because it's cheese too.
Fugu poison blowfish doesn't seem like a good idea for us to be eating.
I agree.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
This is snacks that were sent in by Jamer.
Yeah, but you're like the no bug guy.
Yeah, I'm not saying.
I didn't want to eat those.
Then why did you take them out and hand them to me?
Because you said you wanted chips.
Right.
You wanted chips.
I got you chips.
Eric is blaming you.
You're going to eat this.
No.
He's hurting you and saying you made me do this.
Whoa, there's actual maggots in it.
Oh my god, there's so many.
Why are there so many maggots?
Michael smelled it and did not like.
Oh, it smells like feet.
It doesn't smell like maggot.
It smells like maggot.
I won't be smelling it or eating it.
I'm going to be honest. I'm just not going to eat a chip.
Here's what's...
Yeah, not good.
The bag is like a block of cheese that's cut open,
and there's maggots crawling around in the cheese,
which is not on the chip itself.
It's on my hands.
Here's the chip for comparison.
I'm not putting this in my mouth.
Yeah, no.
I just refuse.
What do you think the horse one smells like?
I'll eat the horse one.
I will say... I'll eat the horse one. I'll eat the horse.
I'm curious what a horse tastes like.
As fucked up as the idea of eating horse meat is to me,
I know other
cultures will do it.
I do love the
graphic of the horse
turning into the chip, Animorph style
on the bag.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Okay, the horse chip one tastes like a chip.
Yeah, I'll try the horse.
It doesn't taste like anything to me.
Like maybe a slight barbecue.
Save a potato, eat a horse.
Maybe it's a Southwest horse.
Nick is coming over to eat some horse.
It's fine, it just tastes like a chip, I'm going to be honest.
Nick really wants to eat this horse.
It's like a tangy barbecue.
Yeah, there's some kind of flavor, but it's...
I wouldn't... If someone gave me this, I wouldn't think, horse chip?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang on. Is this horses?
I bet the fugu tastes like shit. I'm not eating that either.
It's gotta be like fishy.
Yeah, I would think so.
Fuck off.
Crack it open. Let's see what it smells like.
Okay, that'll do.
I'll try the fugu. You have no idea how many people have sent us these chips And I have not picked they've become they become such a meme doesn't really have much of a smell at all yeah, honestly
It kind of smells like a salt and vinegar the fish is getting turned into a chip, too
But it's not nearly as cool as yeah, yeah, it's not as cool. This is one is a little
They could have done it in for like a little better
Like it Nick is eating it like
Like it's got a weird consistency, but it doesn't it's just a chip it keeps going the problem is that it keeps going There's no like initial flavor, and it dies off. It's like flavor
More flavor here. It is again. It just looked like Nick was eating something that had a weird texture
We did definitely gotten yeah, those are bad
The horse ones are chips. I don't want to eat any of these with the hot sauce. Okay, then let's use crackers
Which was the original idea we got an idea we're gonna rate these fuckers. Yeah rate them go ahead
Are we rating these yeah sure it? Yeah, rate them. Go ahead. Are we rating these? Yeah, sure. It's a rate job?
It's snacks. I'm rating
bug and fish zero.
I'm not opening. I'm not eating it.
Fish, I'm gonna give about a six. Okay.
Horse is fine. It's like
a... Horse chip, I'll give a 30.
I was gonna say, it's still not good.
I'll give it a 45.
What's the average score on that one? You're more...
31.
Receptive.
You're wrong.
Oh, no.
I just did the math quickly in my head.
All right.
Galaxy, salsa.
Smells hot.
It does.
Smells real hot.
It says made in Maine with zucchini,
and I feel like that shouldn't be the selling point.
That's my other question.
It's made with something fucking hot.
What about these are Maine?
I think they're just made there.
Well, be careful with the
words Maine themed then.
Is that a warning to Eric
or the audience? Yeah, I'm not really sure.
It's not a threat. It's a promise.
I didn't say threat. I said warning.
How's the zucchini?
It's fucking hot.
Is it great? It's wet. It's one of those
wet salsas. Can't wait. It's like when you
dip it and you pull it back out, it looks damp.
This cracker is not fitting a round hole. It's gotta be thicker.
You gotta turn it sideways. You gotta turn it sideways.
You turn it, you can get it. Well, now you can't because you bit it.
They'll double dip now.
Yeah, we get it. You broke it. Congratulations.
Nick is showing his cracker broken in half, very excited.
Yeah, you also don't have to break it. Just turn it.
It just tastes like hot salsa. Okay, it's salsa. It's salsa it. Just turn it. It just tastes like hot salsa.
Okay, it's salsa.
It's salsa, but it's more watery.
I prefer the thicker salsa.
You have so many things written down there.
I didn't write any of this.
Oh, okay.
I was going to ask,
is that more fake writing from your wife
to make it look like you?
Well, Eric's smart.
He writes a lot.
Wow, he's a good writer.
See?
I don't pay her to do that.
Who said that?
Who said I do?
Eric's, I might be trapped.
Dude, we need a struggle cam.
Yeah, right?
He's elbow deep in a bubble wrap thing.
Hang on, hang on, now you can be speaking my language.
Rum!
Rum!
Rum! Why! Rum!
Why did you save this till the end?
Why didn't we start with this?
Spider Island.
That I don't give a shit about. Spiders?
Okay.
He did say there are no bugs.
He did say there are no bugs in that.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is dangerously bug themed.
Did he lie?
Dangerously bug themed.
Dangerously buggy.
We got bugs.
We got spiders, which technically are not bugs,
but they're bugs.
Technically, they're not bugs,
but realistically, they're bugs.
There's not much.
All right.
He gave you twice as much as me.
Why?
Why did he give you twice as much? Nick, you want one?
Nick needs a couple.
Is this like a, is this a straight up rum?
Is this like a special flavor rum?
It's just a rum.
Rum from Spider Island.
It smells like rum.
What's the, was there a note attached to this? Yeah. What's the, what's the a rum. Rum from Spider Island. It smells like rum. What's the, was there a note attached to this?
Yeah.
What's the, what's the, yeah.
Sabago Lake Distillery's Spider Island rug.
No bugs included.
Sorry.
Don't apologize for something we're happy about.
Cheers.
Hey.
Let's spit some sills.
Thank you, Oni Express.
Hey, to spit and sill.
Let me tell you, the first two episodes,
I struggled every time to not call the show
Snack Attack.
Yeah.
And now we're doing snacks.
It's really creeping in my brain.
Yeah, but it's different.
This is Snack Log.
It's Snack Log.
Yeah.
Snack Log.
It's like Captain's Log.
All right, here we go.
We're all drinking now.
Tastes like rum.
It's rum.
I'm not a rum guy guy but that's pretty good
okay so got me on the back pretty smooth well i'm not not too sweet i'm not a i'm not an alcohol guy
at all as far as like straight you know like oh yeah just taking shots it all tastes bad i don't
it's all it's all bad i like screwdrivers or whatever dude Dude, you put rum and some sort of tropical theme together.
I'm all about rum punch, painkillers, whatever they are.
We went to that awesome tiki bar in Chicago.
Three dots in a dash.
It's like the alcohol equivalent.
It's like the liquor equivalent of a Starbucks.
It's candy, yeah.
You know what I mean?
But I will say, the bad part is bad.
It tastes like rum.
Yes.
But the flavor part is very good.
I agree.
They don't meld to me.
No.
I've got...
You've got rum,
and I'm burning.
But then you've got the taste on your mouth.
But the flavor is good.
It still sucks ass
because it's straight rum.
But if you like alcohol or liquor
and you don't have that problem,
that's pretty good.
You make a good tiki drink with this one.
That's a great tiki drink rum.
What do you guys rate that?
It's rum. How do you really rate?
I don't know, but even the parts, some are really dry.
This didn't have a lot in the back.
It fades quickly.
On a rum scale, I would... Donald Rum Scale?
Something there?
There's something there.
I don't know. There's something there.
I'm going to grade it on there I'm gonna I'm gonna
grade it on a curve slightly
I'm gonna give it
an 81
I don't even understand
what the curve means
no me neither
for rum
it's 81
okay
that's what I mean
regardless
for a snack
it would be much lower
yeah
but for rum
you can just say none of that
and just say 81
right
yeah but I like it.
Yeah but we got 30 minutes to fill.
Yeah to fill.
If I
is that whatever
81
but if not
81.
So what do you give it?
I mean I'll give it a
I'll give it a 70.
Okay.
It's pretty good.
Is that on a rum curve?
Is that a Donald Rum scale?
I was on the Donald Rum scale
and I fell off yeah
so i don't know it sounds a lot like donald rumsfeld next up we have c made is he still alive
i think he's dead i think i'm pretty sure he's dead yeah that's why you commit all your war
crimes and when you're old so that you die before yeah you got yeah there's yeah you're absolved
yeah or or pivot into art next up dick. Or just be Dick Cheney.
And just keep it going.
No one gives a fuck.
Apparently no one cares.
Seamade.
Cranberry, almond, and kelp bar.
Seamade.
A very exciting name for a very divisive snack.
Okay, let me ask.
Is this what you were eating five minutes ago?
Why?
Why was he so far ahead of us? I was watching him.
I went to him and he went crazy.
I was watching him eat that, make faces and give various thumbs.
And I didn't know what the hell it was.
And now you talked about it and he kept saying, don't eat it.
And just now he took another bite.
Please share your feedback at SeamadeSeaWeed.com.
Let me give a reply to that.
We'll share it here.
You come find here. Yeah.
You come find it.
Yeah, you come find us.
How about that?
It just smells like a bar.
There's a message from the founders that is probably not good, and I'm not going to read.
Oh.
Like it's not good or it's evil.
It's not going to be interesting.
It's not good as in it's an evil intent.
Well, let's see here.
What is Eric doing? Eric turned into some sort of chipmunk. I think Eric likes it. I, let's see here. What is Eric doing?
Eric turned into some sort of chipmunk.
I think Eric likes it.
I don't think he does.
What?
Okay.
But then it comes back around.
Whoa.
Definitely tastes like seaweed.
It's not the big...
There.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
It starts...
It's normal.
Sweet and savory, whole fruits, nuts and greens, and Maine seaweed.
It starts normal, and then—
What is normal?
Like a seed bar like you would expect.
I don't think so at all.
I think it's seaweed the second you take a bite of it.
It's very salty.
And that's a very ocean-based kind of saltiness.
It starts regular and then tastes like an aquarium,
and then stops tasting like an aquarium,
and then tastes like an aquarium again.
You've got to stop drinking aquariums. I keep telling you that.
Well, he's-
I refuse.
He's eaten so many goldfish on quote unquote accident.
I've, especially of recent, had many a seaweed wrap sushi.
No, yeah, it's bad.
I've had many a seaweed wrap sushis, so I definitely taste the
seaweed as I bite into
it.
It comes out.
I'll be honest, this
doesn't bother me.
Really?
I don't have the
roller coaster of
flavors.
It bothers me quite a
bit.
Yeah, I'm not a big
I like seaweed, like
the little sheets of
it that you can just
see that I don't
like.
Munch on.
That's like the only
thing I don't like.
That's fine.
It doesn't need to be
in this other thing
that is not at all
like seaweed
like themed or like
the flavors of the cranberry and the almond
are really undone by the
seaweed. I don't think so. I disagree.
I think
Well that's the beauty of spitting silly.
That's the beauty of life Jordan. We can all
disagree unless you pick the wrong
thing motherfucker.
Then you're done. You'reucker. Then you're done.
You're toast.
Then you're toast.
Bitch.
Your ass is happy.
Variety is the spice of life.
Unless you're wrong.
Motherfucker. Just to be clear,
this is not one of those things.
No.
Okay,
good.
No,
no,
no.
I wouldn't,
I wouldn't eat this,
but I will say if you have like a cranberry,
cranberry almond bar and you go,
I'd like seaweed flavor on top of that.
That's what this is.
This is for you.
A hundred percent.
I'm just saying.
I don't hate this.
I wouldn't eat it, but it doesn't undo the flavor to me.
I don't know that it adds to the flavor.
It's just sort of the one flavor and it adds seaweed, but maybe it's just less intense
for me because I didn't have the rolling flavor. It rolled all around maybe it's just less intense for me. Cause I didn't have the rolling.
Oh,
I definitely,
it rolled all around for me.
Mine was pretty,
mine was pretty even throughout.
I'm going to give it a 50 right in the middle.
Okay.
50.
So 50% of snacks are better than this.
And 50% of snacks are worse than this.
39.5.
I said 50.
And then I'm leaving it at that.
What you asked for was follow-up.
Next up.
I'm not going to do data analysis.
I both won't and can't answer that question.
Next up.
Needham.
Needham Originals.
I'll be the judge of that.
Are you going in for seconds on the run?
Absolutely.
I am partially to get rid of that seaweed taste.
Well, I think this will help too.
I'm going to get some Coke.
That's a good idea.
Have a nice little...
You started saying
things.
What are you talking
about?
Nick wants beer.
All right.
You gave me so much.
You gave me more
than Eric did.
Just drink less.
But you asked for
seconds, implying
you want more.
Not more than I
had last time.
You gave me more
than Eric did.
I also gave you
way more than I
gave myself.
It's compounding, Michael.
These are Needham Originals.
Don't worry, your car's driving you home.
These are local chocolates.
I love when we get local chocolates.
That include potato.
I hate when we get local chocolate.
In the recipe.
Didn't we have something weird like this before?
We did.
We had a
chocolate with potato chips
in it. Dude, I like spit and silly.
I like we can do a lot of stuff that
maybe we do on the main show, but we just don't have time
to do at least every Fortnite.
Now we have a whole ass Fortnite to just do
whatever we want. I love it.
New segments, old segments, old segments,
old segments, new segments,
four more old segments.
This is not the potato I was expecting.
No.
It's kind of like a...
Too fucking sweet.
It's very sweet.
It's kind of coconut in texture.
It's very weird.
Oh, is there not coconut in here?
There has to be.
There must be.
This is absolutely coconut.
Need him explain.
I'll tell you one thing.
I'm not getting potato.
Sugar, chocolate, vegetable fat.
I need him, you, to come clean about this coconut.
There's got to be coconut in here.
I don't see it.
What else would this be?
What is this?
It says coconut.
Okay.
I don't know why Eric can't see it, but it says it.
Like a third of the way down on the ingredients list.
Ingredient fight. Ingredient fight.
Ingredient fight.
Are yours different?
Milk fat.
He's still staring.
Sweet and cocoa.
Oh, sweet and cocoa.
Is he pretending to read again?
I know what words.
M, M.
I know shapes look like words.
I see an M on there.
I know what shapes the letters make.
S.
Yeah.
I mean, it's good.
It's very fucking sweet. Yeah. there's no potato of any kind no
yeah it's not it's super fucking sweet chocolate with coconut it's not weird enough to like be
interesting and it's not good enough to be good and so here's the other thing too i'll say as a
person who loves coconut it's too much coconut it's there should be more chocolate and less
coconut it's mostly the filling i don't know where the potato is. I was not expecting to bite in and it be like so white and like bricky.
Yeah.
I don't get a score.
It's thick.
I love this thing and I love the texture.
It is like, there's like a firm toughness to it that like you almost crunch into, but
there's no crunch.
It's very weird.
There's a little bit of crunch from the coconut.
I really.
The strips.
I love that.
If it was less sweet and there was, I think it needs half the coconut, twice the chocolate.
The chocolate is very chocolatey.
I don't like really anything about it.
Yeah.
All right.
What do you rate it?
What did I give the last one?
A 30, 20, 65.
It's 62, something like that.
I think five, six. Yeah, something like that. I think 5, 6, 5.
Yeah, something like that.
5, 6, 5.
5 or 6.
Yeah.
We're trying to think
of Jordan scores
over the past 5 or 6
probably, yeah.
On a rotating
waning scale.
22.
Okay.
Don't like it.
This is one of those things
that's hard for me
to rate
because I don't like, I don't love it, but I know it's because of my preference and not the food.
This is good.
It's way too fucking sweet for me.
But I get why you like it.
You're a little rat.
A little sugar rat.
I'm going to give it a, I'll give it a 40.
No.
No, this deserves more.
I'll give it 55.
55.
This is over 50.
What the fuck?
38.5. I called him a sugar rat so he put on a hat that has a possum on it.
Oh, okay. That makes sense. It's a rat. That's a possum.
I've seen your tattoo. It doesn't look like that. That's a possum.
Oh, no, it might be a possum. I mean look at its tail. Look at its tail.
No shit. It's a possum. Rats don't have that.
I ran out to get a Coco Coco. Oh, yeah?
And almost grabbed a dr. Pepper cuz I
Not what I wanted that's not what you want, but it does work did someone lie to you and say that was a rat
I thought it was a rat okay
I
Thought I was just taking the wind out of your sails my drink is about telling you 60% rum and 40% Coca-Cola
Give me a little bit of that. Crack it open here.
Let's go.
No, he wants the Galaxy Salsa.
Why are you pouring Galaxy Salsa into a rum cup?
What do you want?
Hey.
Cheers, Jordan.
I hope you like the cucumber.
It's warm.
Just to mix it up.
Oh, God.
Why did you do that?
Woof.
All right.
I was embraced.
Okay. You made the drink. Why is it tasting. Oh, God. Why did you do that? Woof. All right. I was embraced. Okay.
You made the drink.
Why is it tasting?
I was embraced.
It tastes dusty.
That's gross.
Yuck.
Sorry, I got the dusty one.
What tastes dusty?
I don't know.
I got the dusty Coca-Cola.
The alcohol?
Yeah, that was weird.
I think it's the rum.
I think that's the dry rum dust.
Oh, yeah.
In the aging process.
The last piece here, because we're almost at time.
Time this. No. I threw something at him, but I missed chew me small bad do it wonderfully chewy cookies
Chocolate brownie bites with chopped pumpkin seeds all right. It was caught up to the pumpkin seeds pumpkin seeds. I like
It's gonna be better than chocolate coated sunflower seeds sure about that
And we'll see if I'm eating those words after I eat this.
You get the seeds immediately.
Yep.
Wow.
Yep.
Immediate seeds.
Too many seeds.
Too many seeds.
Way too pumpkin-y.
Yep.
This doesn't...
Wait, is this chocolate?
Chocolate brownie bite.
I get almost no chocolate at all.
This tastes like... I don't know if it's a thing.
It tastes like gluten-free chocolate.
It does.
Like, it's not all the way chocolate.
It is gluten-free.
Hey, guess what?
It's a thing.
Okay.
It's like a 5% chocolate taste.
I will say.
No, it's like nothing.
This tastes like what I thought the Seamade bar was going to taste like.
This tastes like more like a protein bar or something.
This tastes like seeds and kind of sweet.
This is like something Marzipan from Homestar Runner would like.
Right.
And you get seeds in the beginning, but the pumpkin flavor lasts throughout,
and then it kicks in at the end.
You're just left with pumpkin.
This one's really disappointing.
And it's very dry, too.
Yeah.
I have high hopes for it.
The thing about the pumpkin, too.
You want a high five, or are you giving it a full?
What are you doing?
Oh, okay.
We're almost done.
Well, look, I'll be honest.
When does this man ever do anything and gesture that's not freakishly unwarranted?
I thought he was going to kill someone.
Right.
The idea that Nick's going-
You've got five seconds before I kill you.
The idea that Nick is actually working,'ve got five seconds before I kill you.
The idea that Nick is actually working and him going, what?
I'm doing my job.
He's unheard of.
Right?
On this show?
I haven't seen that in two years.
He does it a lot on other shows.
This one, I just don't know that there's much that he can do.
I'm just saying, anytime I look at him, it's him put on a show that most of the time you
guys don't see.
Yeah.
That is true.
As the only person facing Nick, you're the only audience member. Sometimes I let him know. Sometimes I don't see it. That is true. As the only person facing Nick, you're the only audience member.
Sometimes I let him know. Sometimes I don't even bother.
Where I go, guys, I don't know if you saw that thing Nick did.
He was going crazy today.
I've seen a bunch of shit go down. Okay, so what do you rate
these?
This is pretty bad. Yeah, disappointing.
It's very disappointing.
It's again in that 30 range. Try dunking it in your room.
Oh. Maybe I'll dunk
it in the Galaxy's also.
34.
Okay.
20.
I don't like it.
Yeah.
27.
Okay.
So there is one more,
but I don't know
how we really take this.
Is this maple syrup?
Your main maple syrup.
Oh.
Ooh.
Well, I mean,
get more of these.
You want to cup it?
Yeah.
Get us some more cups.
Yeah.
Nick, can you grab some more?
And I'll dip my cracker in it.
Dude, there's no way you're going to get the cracker that deep.
That's true.
No way.
There's no way.
We'll need Nick to demonstrate how to break a cracker again.
This will be good.
I can compare it to Vermont maple syrup and see if the trees grow differently in Maine.
Oh.
That's one of the things I got for Nick when I went to Vermont.
I got him just a bunch of
maple syrup and maple syrup
infused things. He's a fan.
Yep. Oh, he brought his own
to IHOP if you don't, lest you
forget. I did.
See, he wasn't here for half the conversation
and he knew. He just walked in. He walked in,
he was in the hallway and he goes, no matter what they're saying,
I'm going to walk in
and say,
that's right.
That'll be my contribution.
You guys talking about me?
Oh,
that's very viscous.
Nick,
you want some?
Now this,
honestly,
take a sip.
Then I'd put it in there.
Oh,
baby.
You,
for some reason,
handed it to me
and I didn't think
you would put anything in.
So I started gesturing wildly
and I spilled it.
Uh-oh.
You did spill it.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Let's try this maple syrup.
Weird.
That's weird.
It has an odd taste.
Ooh.
Like, it's super sweet.
It's a good sweet.
It's not, like, too sweet.
It's maple syrup.
It tastes fucking, like, I don't know another word to describe it other than, like, real.
That does not taste artificial.
It just tastes like real fucking food.
It's stripped down to its most basic element.
I think for me, it needs more chemicals.
I can see that.
It's too real.
That tracks, yeah.
If we send this to McDonald's, let them do whatever it is they do to it,
then bounce it back to me.
Then you'll dip your McGriddle in it
what do you give it?
I'm so surprised that Michael
gets so much out of it
it's just very basic
but that's good
but that's the thing about it
it's real
it would be like when I suck that milk
right from the cow
it's like sucking milk from the cow. Yeah, exactly.
It's like sucking milk from a cow.
It's like you've tapped a tree.
You just keep pulling hair out of your mouth. That's going to be a really sweet drink, Jordan.
I can't wait.
All right.
That's good.
I like it.
I'm going to give that.
This would go great.
It's no poison berry.
Right.
Oh, baby.
What is?
Yeah, right?
Nothing, unfortunately.
Not sponsor us.
I'm going to give that an 85.
Okay.
Enjoy.
I was thinking 90. You got it. That's an 85 okay enjoy i was thinking 90 you got it uh
that's an 87.5 and hey you know what oh and add it to your rum and coke because it's good
so here's the thing adding it on face jam we always tell people like i'll just send like one
snack because that that's what we have time for oni express set a tempo here we don't feel like
you have to do it in fact express was the whole episode don't do it We did like a whole episode. Don't feel like you have to do it. In fact, in fact, in fact, in fact,
don't do it. Yeah. Really?
Like a themed box? Very interesting.
Don't feel like you have to do that. So the same person
sent us like good stuff and also
bug chips. Yes. How dare you? So, if you
want to send snacks, you can. Face Jam
Care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st
Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.
This is sounding too much like Face Jam.
Nope. That's just sending snacks. Yeah, but we didn't do it in the other two episodes.
One other thing.
We have another show that we want to do as part of Spit and Silly called Food Court.
Oh, that's right.
Bring us your food-related, food-based arguments, disagreements, disputes.
Send it to FaceJamPod at roosterteeth.com.
Yep.
And Michael and I will be the judges in the court of food.
I love it.
We're going to do that on this show?
Yeah.
The spit and silly segment?
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
I really like spit and silly.
I'm excited.
That's good because that leaves us more time
to stretch out the ads in the main show.
Genius.
Genius.
All right.
Oh, you got to do an outro.
What?
You have to do an outro. I know. I don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. You do do that. Oh, right. The thing I told you. Genius. Oh, you gotta do an outro. What? You have to do an outro. I know, I don't do that.
No, no, no, no, no. You do do that. Oh, right.
The thing I told you. Yes. Thanks for listening
to Spittin' Silly. Hey, listen
up, stupid. Don't forget to listen
to a new episode of Face Jam next week.
I was just gonna say, it's starting to sound
like an ad read already.
Next week, that's right. If you're listening
to Spittin' Silly, that means you're only
one week away from Face Jam, or you're listening to Face Jam and it's the Spittin' Silly, that means you're only one week away from Face Jam
or you're listening to Face Jam
and it's the Spittin' Silly segment
and you're very confused
because Face Jam is two weeks from now.
Is this the separate or am I in the episode?
Yeah, this is Spittin' Silly,
the township you're in right now.
That's right, yeah.
The Commonwealth.
Every Fortnite, that's right,
two Fortnite podcasts.
So make sure you continue to listen to this crap
but listen to this crap,
but listen to the other crap next week.
Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want.
Hey, we did that.
Yeah.
And we're going to continue doing it.
Hell yeah.
We got the gas prices down.
We did that.
We got the pretzel pub back.
Maybe.
Maybe.
What are we going to do next? I don't know, bro.
I'm excited to find out.
I don't even fucking know.
I don't know, but we did it. Yep. Goodbye. Why are we going to do next? I don't know, bro. I'm excited to find out. I don't even fucking know. I don't know, but we did it.
Yep.
Goodbye.
Why are you waving?
I'm saying bye to Jordan.
They can't see you.
I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah.