100% Eat - TGI Fridays Under the Big Top Menu

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review TGI Fridays Under the Big Top Menu so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Selena + Chef, being very sticky, what a churro is, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021), HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam12 and use code facejam12), and Voodoo Ranger (Visit @voodooranger on Instagram and Twitter). Check out Face Jam Reviews Space Food at https://roosterteeth.com/watch/face-jam-2021-18-anniversary-stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Now there's some soul. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, you probably do! Thanks to DoorDash, HelloFresh, and FoodieRanger for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.

Jordan, how are you? If I could be honest, I'm feeling unusual this fortnight. Same, man. And I think we should address it.'m usually very usual very normal very reliable oh yeah everyone you look at him is like that's a normal dude that's a normal guy who just wants to be rolled you know fill him up and roll him down a hill i definitely think i could have been rolled down a hill yesterday. Yeah. Which.

Key word on that, Jordan. Yeah. Yesterday. What the heck? What happened? What a 24 hours it's been. Today.

Yeah. Today we're reviewing TGI Fridays under the big top menu, but we have eaten it yesterday. This is a 24 hour special. Yeah. It's special is a word for it. It is special. Maybe a punishment is another word.

Yeah. It's been almost 24 hours since we've consumed the food and through a series of failures, unable to record the episode after we ate it. I don't know if it was fail. It wasn't failures. It was on many people's part. Obligations. Not ours. No, obligations.

No, yeah, we're the talent. We just, they tell us what to do and where to go and we do it. We had a very tight schedule yesterday and we had to do something immediately after Face Jam and as we got the food and were consuming the food we realized we didn't have had to do something immediately after face jam and as we got the food and we're consuming the food we realized we didn't have time to do the actual episode because somebody else had something to do after the after thing yeah yeah we were like we could do it late but then we couldn't

do it late because then it was like after work and plans were already made and so it was just like i guess we'll just do it tomorrow so we got together we ate the food we did some lame-o crap it was good that it was very good no one will ever see it then i'm gonna no no one will ever see it but it was good and this isn't even a tease to the audience you'll never see it, it wasn't for you. It was like corporate sit down, big boy, do fancy talk interview. And we knocked it out of the park. It was good shit. It was good stuff. Eric refused to be in it. I told you

the whole time. It was just both of you. He just kept saying, I'm not in the show. And I said, you're in every episode. You're talking right now, Eric. You're literally in every episode. So is Nick. No, no. Yeah, but he doesn't talk and that's what i said he has two words he can say yeah he he he does say that uh but anyway you refused to be in it which was another failure so now here we are a day later so we're we're doing it from home not in our cars because we were like that's that's crazy but we just need to carry the energy from yesterday which we really dropped on that interview they got it true they

got they got all of the good face jam energy they got what would have been the episode which what it's really what sucks about it is because everything we do is for is for you the audience or for ourselves unfortunately you weren't there and you'll never see it. You'll never get to see it. I mean, it was wasted energy. I don't think the energy that we brought to that was the energy that they were happy with. You can always tell when something goes well

where the person who's in charge of it, when you're done, you go, okay, is there anything else you need? And then just go, no thanks bye no uh we we got it yeah we got something i did one the week before not face jam related and it was very collaborative the entire time like oh hey for this question do this or maybe do this or do that they just said nothing the entire time we did face gym. And then they left as soon as possible.

Yeah. And I went, I went, Oh, it's because we were pros. We're a professional. Maybe it was too good. But anyway,

that's why we didn't do it the day we ate the food. This is unprecedented. We're going to do the best we can. But to repeat, we ate the TGI Fridays under the big top menu. And that's not hyperbole. We had a whole goddamn menu's worth of food. There was so much food.

They got a lot of shit on this menu. It is like an event. Yeah, this is definitely like our largest probably like eating. We were large after. Right? Oh, yeah. Everyone was feeling big. It's got to be the most

of like the largest amount of items we've ever eaten yeah as far as yeah yeah and we didn't even eat everything we had to like reel it in because they had drinks and stuff that not everyone well michael got the drinks well i got the drinks i got multiples i think we got everything did we did we miss how many drinks were there was there more than two no i think it was. I think we got everything. Did we miss? How many drinks were there? Was there more than two? No, I think it was two. I think we got it all, Jordan. Yeah, we did the whole menu. Here, I'll look on the website,

but I'm pretty sure we did the whole thing. All right, let's do some double checking. Yeah. But I'll say this. When I search TGI Fridays on this computer, it says TGI Fridays bucket of bones. Nice. It knows.

Eric was very excited to go back to fridays too which i think is why again we didn't have time he's like i'll go get the food four hours went by well and he came back with the food really excited and then he wouldn't take his sunglasses off which i thought was weird i mean he was and then also i think that's why he wouldn't do the thing afterwards i'm saying I'm fine. He just kept twitching and wiping his nose. You don't want to mic me up. I was grinding my teeth.

It was like a whole thing, you know? Regardless of the food, which we will get into, I'll say this was an impressive promotion. They have gone all in on this. They have almost transformed themselves. They did something. You know, sometimes they say, we got chicken and that's what we eat. This was like seven food items.

New creations. They were all just like wild shit. They had Eric went in and got the food. There was like banners and shit around the restaurant. Yeah. It was quite the production. And as I ate it, I thought, who's this for? Hey, great question.

No answer. Is it for grownups who want to feel like children? Is it for children? I just feel like we've reached a point where so many times i've sat there and said if we weren't doing this podcast who would be eating this yeah i would never eat this that would be it was never more relevant than yesterday i was mad the whole time. We didn't even get any on your car either.

No, you know why? Because it all ended up all over my fucking hands and face. I was so sticky. I was so fucking sticky. It was very sticky. It was very sticky. I hate getting dirty when I eat. Do we even get into what the hell we ate before we get down there? Well, here's the thing. Jordan

has all the run of what the foods were that I have listed, but I can just rifle off what the foods are. You should just rifle off the names of it. Just because there's so many things. Okay, so there are in the big top, under the big top menu from TGI Fridays, the Flaming Donut Chicken Sandwich,

Whiskey Glazed Donut Burger, Ooey Gooey Mott Stick Melter, Famous Whiskey Glazed Skewer, Amazing Blazing Pound of Cheese Fries, Giant Churro Twists, Cotton Candy Cosmo, and Fireball fire eater margarita

we ate it all we got it all I forgot about the fries you forgot there was a pound of them in a bucket they went fuck you and they put them in a thing eat the slop we ate it like it was a

three course meal so we had the fries first and I totally forgot about Eat the slop. Eat the slop. We ate it like it was a three-course meal, so we had the fries first, and I totally forgot about the fries at the beginning. There was so much fucking food. Because by the time we got to the entrees, it was just, it hit us, man. It was like they beat us over the head, and we were knocked out until 24 hours later.

I also think, now granted, because there was so much food we've had more expensive items before correct but because there was so much food and we shared we shared all of it except for the burgers we all got a burger unnecessarily it's completely unnecessary but we all got the burger and then we shared the other shit like we cut it up and so we just got like one chicken sandwich and we cut it up still i think that's the most we've ever spent on food for how much was it eric it was up in the uh triple digits and it was well up into like it wasn't just like 101 dollars it was i mean we were skirting. I thought you were talking like $900. No, that would be awesome. Whoa. No, this is, this was about a hundred, like with tip and tax and everything, we're looking

at about 170 bucks. Are we? For four people. You tip them? Going to go bankrupt. Yeah. Why would I not tip them? I mean, you picked it up, right?

Yeah, but yeah, but they're still working at a TGI Fridays. Oh, that's true. Look, I don't know. I haven't been there. Take pity. I don't go to Fridays if I'm not eating in the restaurant, so I don't know how that works. Is this going to impact us negatively in a financial sense, though?

Absolutely. Can we recover? Well, hey, we got three sponsors this episode. Yeah! And we definitely discussed that when we got the food. Thank God for that third sponsor. This cost how much? I'm glad they sponsored this.

Thank you so much. But the thing we recorded that was quote unquote too good was four sponsors. So if it's too good that they don't use it and we never get sponsored again, are we going to go back into the desert of no sponsors? I know where the Oasis is, so we're fine. All right. As long as you can lead us there. I marked it.

Once you find it, you mark it, and then you can come back and just drink up all you want. So if you guys ever get first, follow me. You know what I mean? This is all metaphorical. There will be no sets of tracks in the sand. Because I'll just be rolling. You won't even know.

You're like, what? Some kind of giant worm went that way. And at the end, you find me. Look. Oh, man. It's the big worm. After yesterday, dude, it was relentless the the food that we ate was relentless it really was it like i didn't eat the rest of the day i didn't eat the rest i did not eat neither

i just ate maybe an hour ago for the first time wow since we ate i was stuffed until, you know, until like 10 p.m. And I was like, well, I'm not starving. I'm just like not hungry. I'm not full anymore. So I'll just go to bed. And it's not like it was a lot of food, but it's not like we did like in a like an insane like abundance of it. Does that make sense? Like, yeah, we got a lot of food and we ate a considerable amount i probably

had one bite of the mozzarella shit and yeah i only had a couple bites of everything but there was a lot of everything that was enough i think that's what it kind of comes down to is just like oh this was too much i think who's been to friday's since we last ate there what no no not me okay i was just asking yeah it was a question and eric really fired back at you anyway uh fridays you know we've already done a fridays we talked about it we haven't been there since well i feel like there's gonna be less fanfare about like returning to another restaurant for the second time yeah but also this menu thing was like seems like such a huge thing that like i mean we i don't think we were planning on doing like two repeats back to back, but. Yeah, right.

It was just such a big event. We were like, we got to do this. I mean. Eric, Eric slacked us the menu and I just went, uh oh. Yeah. It really felt like, look, there's other times where we can go to like places we haven't been to or whatever. But this menu was so outrageous it really felt like well we already did our first repeat fuck it we can just do whatever we want now we have to eat this insane stupid food and it and that is exactly what it is this is insane and stupid food and messy and eric was mad i was furious he was

messy over everything i hated it i hated it and they gave us like a thousand napkins not enough but no wet they're all dry they're all dry everything was sticky and it's like what the hell we what are we what am i gonna do with this i'm just wiping fucking donuts off my hand with a dry napkin this is crazy just started coming apart oh i hate the feeling of it and my fingers still feel it like eric and i simultaneously were like um i'm angry i was in a bad mood i had i had a cup of water and i was just dunking my hands in my water because i was just like i i hate this i hate this and then i dunked my hands in my water because I was just like, I hate this. I hate this.

And then I dunk my hands in the water and then I'd use the napkins and wipe them off and they'd be clean. And then a minute later, after not touching anything again, they'd get sticky again. Yep. And I was like, oh my God, it's absorbing my skin now. It's coming out of me. You thought I was gone? I couldn't get rid of it.

Who's this? Who is this for? Just who is this for? I thought he was talking about something else. He just started mumbling under his breath. This podcast. Who is this podcast for? I can't help but notice. I can't help but notice. I've been trying to make it a regular

segment and it will not, for whatever reason, show up on the format. Oh, right. I forgot forgot your haiku where do you want me to put it after today's food yeah where does your haiku go i don't where does that is that before spit and silly or is that before the facts or where we're well let's have let's have a quick meeting real quick but where have you used it before uh the last few times has been just before the facts so we can either keep doing that because we're talking about the restaurant usually before we go into the fax.

Or we can do it after spit and silly before we get into the press material. No, I think we do it now before we get into the fax. I think that's good. I think what you've done naturally is natural for a reason. Okay, Jordan, now is the time for your haiku. All right, the haiku for Fridays. Who's the ring master of the fridays carnival and who are the clowns wow that's very specific to the food and not fridays as a whole

but i'm well you know i feel like i feel like we might be the clowns for having yeah this but can you imagine if you read that on the last fridays that wouldn't make any sense no it wouldn't have and that's why it's specific to this friday i like i'm assuming it's in the the fact sheet here but i like that even just this promotion right mcdonald's has been doing just like famous people like it was like a athlete or something like what is this person or then like a rapper like oh yeah that's what is this person? Or then like a rapper. Like, what does this person eat? That's the special. But it's just a regular thing with like out pickles. Yeah, right.

But my point is there's like, there's a person there and it's like, oh, why did we just pick this dude? Because he's famous. Or why did we pick this guy? They're a chef. Yeah, isn't this a collaboration with somebody? It is. This is like, you know this circus guy? Food and Fridays.

P.T. Barnum? I don't remember who it is, but I remember when Eric posted the initial thing, I looked up. There's a person involved in this somewhere. Alfonso Ribeiro. Who the fuck is that? You don't know who that is? No.

I mean, don't read it if it's in the facts. We'll get to it. It's not in the facts. This is, they paired with Carlton from Fresh Prince. Oh, wait. Are you serious? Yes, that's what it is. That's his name?

What does this have to do with the circus? He's in the circus? I don't know. He's the ringmaster. Who's the clowns? What? How does he tie into this? I don't know.

It's not unusual. You're making a bunch of little stupid jokes, but you're not answering the question. I don't know how he ties into it. I have no idea. I have not seen anything other than that article that says he is tied into this. Next, you're going to tell us that you didn't reach out to Taco Bell to talk about the Mexican pizza coming back. I didn't recognize his name off the top of my head. I thought it was like, oh, this guy must be in the circus or something.

I don't know. Yeah, when you read it in that context you're not thinking oh carlton right what the fuck what the hell is wrong with him i don't know why did he want this at fridays i don't i feel like i have to fact check eric now why did fridays want him none of this is adding up what he's saying yeah what you said doesn't make any sense. I just sent a link where it's pictures of him. Give us more answers. Look at these. We have to post these pictures. Okay, okay, okay. Looking at the pictures.

How do I exit full screen? It's in general. I didn't ask how to get to general. Where did you find these photos? This is what they are. This is where they're at he celebrates with tgi fridays to celebrate over-the-top food and beverages and it's just him dressed like he's a ringmaster uh-huh and he's like stretching some matzah he's holding food in front of a small

circus tent it's incredibly small it's like it looks like it's barely taller than him. Yeah. This is like filmed in like a warehouse or something. What page did you link us to? That's where it's at. Can you believe that? Like what website is this that like What do you mean? Where they drop their promo material for third parties to use?

Did you take these pictures? No. Why can't I make them bigger? I'm clicking on the picture. That's the size of the picture. Yeah. Why can't I make them bigger? I'm clicking on the picture. That's the size of the picture. Yeah, you can't click them. You can't make them bigger. Why does it say the copyright's 2013? Are these photos eight years old?

What the hell? But they're all posted. They're all posted like a week ago. What the fuck is happening i don't know i'm even more confused than ever tgi friday's desperate for any collaboration they can get uh they go to this website which apparently just has celebrities in stock photo costumes doing stock photo things and then they photoshop the food and yes exactly and then you're like all right we got him we did it like this this seems like a very specific service i've never done this in an episode and it helps that i'm at home but i'm just googling

trying to make sense out of how this happened there's nothing has to do with anything. None of it makes sense. Why is he in there? I don't know. I went to the other page. Here's Brooklyn Decker enjoys a picnic without allergies, holding her back thanks to Zyrtec. What happened? That's the name of the photo. What is going on?

Antonio Banderas presents Soho Pop Symphony Orchestra, and it's just him in front of an orchestra i can't find more information there's not a commercial or anything it is just okay dude dude i found something else which is um i don't think this is good i don't think this is real i just found i just found an article hang on hey i'm not even gonna read it i'm gonna pose this this i don't know we don't usually do like link dumps or anything this is crazy read when I just posted

what the fuck this explains everything this is from April 1st is this real oh it's gotta be it's gotta be an April Fool's thing oh it's an April Fool's joke it's a marketing ploy it is I wish I had looked at the date look at it the headline is tgi friday ceo resigns to join

the circus and it's a photoshop of it could be anyone they didn't even need a photoshop i assume the ceo ray blanchett former ceo of t Fry's, performs as a high wire artist at the circus. They could have used just the regular photo. No one would have known. They also couldn't get a picture of this man standing and they couldn't Photoshop his real body on top of a wire. They just stuck his head on somewhere else. So distinctly. So yes, it's silly April 1st PR to promote their circus.

Only the most observant will notice that the April 1 is also April Fool's Day. While this is just a prank, TGI Fridays respects the profession of high wire artists and firmly believes everyone should follow their dreams. Oh, it says that in there. You're reading a quote from the article. This is insane. Way to like save themselves yeah still no mention of carlton in this article what the hell does he have to do with it what the fuck he doesn't know it happened he just i don't think he doesn't happen

i'm with you man the picture i don't think he knows anything about what's going on anyway. Jesus Christ. Let me read the facts. Let's learn about TGI Fridays. This episode is as wild as the food. All right. I agree. First fact, our previous TGI Fridays episode was released June 9th, 2020, where we ate the loaded cheese fry burger.

It received an average score of 44. Not great. You guys remember that episode not at all i remember you being sweaty i remember i remember you screaming and being and being wet uh and like because i could see you and your back was dripping this also might have been either the first or or the first of where i started talking about the van wow think so. I think that's like a van drove by. I remember being in the parking lot. A van came too close to us.

Your back was soaking wet, and we kept getting swarmed with cars, and there was vans. It's somewhere around there. It might not have been this episode in particular, but it's somewhere around there. And now we have our very own non-working van. It works! It doesn't run.

It doesn't run and the door doesn't open. Yeah, new issue. That is one of the doors has a problem, but we're going to fix it. Fridays is currently being sued because their mozzarella sticks don't contain any mozzarella. This is the same restaurant

that was sued for not having potatoes in their potato skins. I remember that fact. So I guess my question is, what the fuck did we just eat yesterday? Yesterday, yeah. That fact was assuming that we were recording it. Wow. Fridays is breaking all the rules. They're like, look, just because we're selling a food doesn't mean the food has to be in it.

It's mozzarella. It's mozzarella with three Z's. It's mozzarella inspired. It reminds you of mozzarella. Mozzarella adjacent. In 2019, a New Jersey man sued Fridays for not putting their prices on menus to deliberately swindle customers. putting their prices on menus to deliberately swindle customers. Oh, no.

Our menu had the prices clearly listed, but after eating, we have also decided to sue Fridays just to be safe. Well, what they don't include is the price you pay other than money. Like, the price of feeling awful. They don't tell you the physical cost.

Yeah. And they should start putting that. What I wonder is, like, how did Eric write this before we ate the food, though? What do you mean? Well, it says after eating. Because I saw the pictures of what we were going to eat where Alfonso Ribeiro is in a circus master's outfit going, hamburgers but donuts. Wow.

I suppose I can't argue with that. After a long, bitter feud, Megadeth's Dave, I don't know how to pronounce his last name, Mustard. Sure. I was, I was, we said twins.

We said the same thing at the same time. And Slayroos, Kerry King, got together at Temecula. Oh my God. What? Temecula. Temecula.

That's the, Temecula. Oh my God. What? Temecula. Temecula. That's the, Temecula is where Moana needs to put the heart back in for Te Fiti. You should take this back from the top. Nah. After a bitter feud, they got together at Temecula Te Fiti TGI Fridays to bury the hatchet and end their metal war.

This sucks. And if your dad did this with the guy he was fighting with, you'd never stop making fun of him. So they hashed it out over some hash that probably had no potatoes in it. Yep. That's pretty much it. They said, one burger, please. And the waiter went, that's what you think. So did Fridays have a say in this?

Were they a part of this? No, I don't think so. That was neutral ground. Yeah, Temecula, California is where Megadeth and Slayer cannot fight each other truly. The one thing they had in common was they loved Fridays.

So they were like, that's why we go there. That's why you would never, imagine if your dad was just fighting with some guy and he went, never mind. We buried the hatchet. We went to Friday's and he ordered this fucking food. We ate. Hang on.

They probably got they got the Jack Daniels steak. Uh huh. And they got some fruity drinks. It was blue. They were blue colored. And they both they were like, we friends now oh man i have a tummy ache dj your stomach hurt and they went big time and then they went in the bathroom and it was you know yeah you know how it goes and eric was born the only metal thing about that

were you delivered in a friday's bathroom do we know? Well, you know, I can either be found or denied. Is it like a Hank Hill situation? He slid out under the stall. Someone was just like at the urinal in the air, and he just came sliding out on the tile right under that little gap. Damn. And then the person opened the stall and was like, there's nobody in here.

Whoa. Whoa. Where did this child come from? It's just a white powder over everything. And they went, was he born from this? You merely adopted the Fridays. And the final meaty fact. It's a long one.

I don't even know if I'll be able to finish. Maybe we pick this up tomorrow. When Fridays opened its Dallas location in 1973, people went crazy for it because of stunts like two guys in gorilla costumes charging a crowd out of the back of an ambulance. In an attempt to update this stunt, the sauce monkey jumped out of the van at people in an HB parking lot, but they only went crazy because he had two knives.

Look, in 1973, that was probably exciting. Yeah, I mean, what else do you got going? There's no internet yet. My original punchline for that was something along the lines of, I guess people were way easier to impress in the 1970s. Yeah. Do you think that woman was there as a child? Monkey!

Who was at Fazoli and she was screaming monkey! Because she reminded her of Fridays. Yep. She's like, but hold on. It's like I'm back in Dallas. Just a sense memory thing. Her eyes were rolling back in the back of her head. She was going, monkey!

Ook! Ook! She's yelling it's funny because gorillas are apes not monkeys that is why it's funny yeah that was that's the real oh man waka waka too funny you guys oh man those are the facts did you guys you sail through those facts the facts you guys fridays, ook, ook. Oh, man. Those are the facts. Did you guys learn? You sailed through those facts. Those were just the facts. You guys learned a lot? Fridays get sued a lot, apparently. Yeah, I mean, hey, welcome to America, baby.

Yep. They don't have, you know. What does that mean? I'll sue you. Hey, I'll counter-sue the shit out of you, you little a-hole. Oh, this is a real Friday situation. Well, no, this is not a, we got to go to Friday. Yeah, we're going to bury the hatchet.

The court will be in Fridays. Welcome to Friday's court. The server comes out and they bang a mozzarella stick on the table. Friday's court is now in session. I sentence

you to two orders of loaded fries. No! I'll never finish those. Oh, man. It's weird going to a restaurant where, and we talked about this, where, like, they aren't serving you, like, food. They keep getting sued for not making food.

I don't understand. I like, I watch a lot of cooking shows and uh i've been watching the selena and chef thing on hbo whatever and it's like that's hbo max you know what it's called so look i can't just give them a free plug i just like this show you can give them a free plug i mean you wrote selena plus chef i got excited to talk about it. Things he wants to talk about gets put in the format. Yeah. That's how this works. You wrote Selena plus chef, which is exclusively available on HBO max.

Right. But you were like HBO, whatever. Well, you don't know. You tried to dumb it down. We were onto you. How are we, is this show getting paid for this or just you? Is this a sidekick? What's going on here?

No one's getting paid for anything like this. I just thought it was exciting. The thing that made me think of it was the food that isn't food. And I'm like, oh, I was just wondering if you guys have seen the show. Wow, man. Nope. Damn. I can't wait to continue this conversation with you after the show.

Everyone dunked on me for something I was excited about. It's fine. Well, to be fair, you're excited about Selena plus Chef. Which I'm sure is a great show. But as Eric's saying, definitely not a sponsor. I thought that it would go in the spit. We never have anything for the spit and silly section. Eric watching Selena plus Chef is like Mega Death and Slayer going to Fridays.

It just doesn't add up. No, I think it certainly adds up. I just think he could have mentioned it in a more subtle way. He failed. Speaking of subtle, did you reach out to Taco Bell about the pizza, the Mexican pizza?

Oh, there are things in the works. So no, you did not. Well, no, things are in the works. It's just not. Here's what he could have said right jordan oh i was gonna reach out to them but i got caught up watching selena plus chef on hbo max have you seen it it's so grippy how there's no way that i could have done that and no one would have yelled at me everyone no no dude i would have my first of all my jaw would have

dropped and i would have been like that's good and then i would have applauded you we all would have stood up you would have dropped, and I would have been like, that's good. And then I would have applauded you. We all would have stood up. You would have got a standing ovation. Now, the real thing is when this comes out, people are going to really wonder, was this episode sponsored by Selena Plus, Chef? It's not. Are we saying that right? Is it Selena Plus, Chef? We have.

It's Selena and Chef, and we already have three ads. And this is not an ad. This is simply a thing I liked. Is it Selena plus chef or Selena and chef? You wrote plus. But it's written as plus. That is the way that it's written. What is it about the show you like?

Is it the Selena or is it the chef? Well, I like the Selena part because she doesn't know how to cook, but then the recipes are easy enough to follow where you're like, oh, I get this. Like, I can make a Roy Choi thing. like roy choy is a great i'm still talking roy choy is a great he's a great chef and when he gives you a recipe still talking uh when uh when he gives you a recipe for breakfast tacos that doesn't seem that hard i'm like whoa this is

really great there's a lot there's listen there's a lot of there's a lot of good cooking content i like a lot of cooking content i i I like a lot of cooking content. I, I subscribe to a lot of cooking channels and I was just excited about the show, but now everyone wants to be mad. This actually, I'll believe that because Eric's been saying for almost a year now that he wants to turn Face Jam into a cooking show. No. He wants to get us in the kitchen.

He won't shut up about it. He keeps saying, he keeps saying, I don't know why people don't listen to me. I'm in these meetings and I, Face Jam is a cooking show, and nobody listens to me. No one listens. They say, oh, you don't cook food, right? And then he's talking, and he goes, I'm still talking. Yeah, and then we go, hey, why don't you talk about Face Jam?

You do all the producer meetings. You know all the nitty-gritty behind the scenes about this show. You want to make it a cooking show. Why don't you do this thing where we can tell potential advertisers about it? And you go, no, I'm not in the show. I'm not in the show.

That's you. Yeah. Suddenly he's not in the show. Suddenly Eric has nothing to say. Suddenly Eric's talking. No, I'm trying to give you, you guys have the spotlight.

You're the stars of the show. I'm just trying to keep this on track. And I was just getting you guys. So that way advertisers can go, wow, two white guys. I love it. I've never seen that before. What do they call this? A podcast?

You know what really changed it? A third one. But he looks so similar to one of them. It's a whole thing. Make it a cartoon. Speaking of which. We got a cartoon. Speaking of which. We got a cartoon. Yeah.

Me and Jordan are twins. Kind of. You guys are very similar looking. Yeah. And what really does it is the hair. You have the same hair and a line in the exact same spot. Do you guys use the same barber? See, in animation, it's quite easy to duplicate an asset before, instead of making two different ones.

Just a little peek behind the curtain. But your faces are slightly different, right? Like, your facial hair is different. Well, where do you want to put the effort, you know? Here, like, here, let me throw, I'm not an animator. Let me throw this out there. You duplicate the hair, but then after you duplicate it, you add something to the second one.

So it's not exactly the same. You see, you fool them. They're like, this hair has one line and this hair has two lines. If you zoom in and enhance, you'll see there's a little stray hair. Oh my God. And I'm not joking.

No, I know it's in the back, right? It's like, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Very subtle, way more subtle than Eric talking about Samia plus Shev. You guys suck. Here's what you want to do. If you want to do an easy animation trick where it'll differentiate it, make this motherfucker's hair gray, okay?

It's true. It's definitely more gray these days. It is bad. Let's give him like a little streak on the side like Reed Richards or something. If you gave him a Reed Richards streak, that'd be the nicest thing you'd ever done to me. Because... That's generous.

It's very generous. Let me ask you. Old man watching Selena plus Chef. Hey, hey, he's turning into a fan. He's hitting the demographic. Oh, no. Why? He's just shrugging now. He's aging before.

Yeah, suddenly he has nothing to say. Suddenly it's like we're back on the sponsor thing. Eric, is Roy Choi the guy who did the restaurant we went to? Yes, correct. And that's why I thought that's why it was exciting because I went, oh, we did go to Best Friend And he was showing me how to make a breakfast taco Well, you didn't say any of that That is the best food I've ever eaten At a restaurant

Wouldn't it be fun to learn how to cook that? No, okay, fine, whatever You know what, Jordan? We should try and get Roy Choi We should try to either get Roy Choi Or get involved with Selena Plus Chef somehow Just to spite Eric. Like you and me be best friends with her and go on the show.

We'll do it and cut him out and he'll go, I want to be on this. I love this. And we go, oh, you're not on the show. Oh, and then suddenly you stand behind the camera and you drink your tears. There's not a lot of there's not a lot that I'll do just to do it but there's a i'll do something out of spite yeah so yeah let's make it happen great selena i know you're a fan at at face jam pod send us a dm slip on in there we'll work it out. We're your science. I'd say we cut and come back now. We're already back now, but

we cut right before the last fact. So start over from there? Yeah, start from... I mean, I would just chop out the last fact just in case. What? No, you have to leave the fact in. It's a good fact. Okay. Alright. What was wrong with the last fact? Nothing. I just figured if we were going to take

out the last 20 minutes, just go further. You know what I mean? Just to be safe. Why don't we just start over? Welcome to Face Jam. This is where we try every new fashion creation to let you know if you need it.

You probably do. Sorry if you think Eric's part of this show. He's not. Thanks to DoorDash, HelloFresh, and VoodooRange for making this show possible. Those are the three and only three sponsors of this show. He's not. Thanks to DoorDash, HelloFresh, and Fooderage for making this show possible. Those are the three and only three sponsors of this episode. Nobody else is sponsoring this. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Smears.

Jordan, how the heck are you? I'm the theme song. Whoa. Hey, if that was better than the first one, can you cut and replace? Put that back of the beginning at mila our partner is the planet our appliances use less water and energy and are tested to last for 20 years of use that's the ultimate form of sustainability i'm nelson fresco president of mila canada from now until June 30th,

every Mila dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests through the Mila Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. All right, let's read the descriptions of the food how about that sounds good you know what sounds reckless let's do it let's get reckless famous whiskey glazed skewer three whiskey glaze sliders paired with six count them six boneless wings all on a stick. If that doesn't say carnival, I don't know what does. It was a very odd format too, right? So it was like chicken, burger, chicken.

Chicken, burger, chicken. Burger, chicken, chicken, burger, chicken. Yeah. Like two pieces for every burger. Every burger was getting pincer maneuvered by two pieces of chicken. I thought it was all one big sandwich, like a chicken. The chicken was the bun, and then the burger

was the meat. The amazing blazing pound of cheese fries loaded with poblano queso, or queso, mixed cheese, bacon, pickled jalapenos, green onions, and a side of barbecue ranch ranch was barbecue that's what it said i i remember i remember eating it and nick just saying like distantly

the ranch doesn't help because of course he went for the sauce yeah yeah naturally ooey gooey motott's stick melter. Mott's, Mott's, Mott's. Not mozzarella. That's how you know it's not real cheese. Our famous mozzarella sticks, marinara, and melted blend of three cheeses between two artisan slices of buttery bread skewered with two mozzarella sticks. Why did you laugh when you said artisan? Yeah, do you think that bread wasn't artisan?

Do you think that was funny? I'm not sure anything we ate was artisan. What? Artists made it. Yeah, like Carlton. He danced on top of it. Flaming donut chicken sandwich, crispy fried chicken with Nashville hot sauce, pickled jalapenos, ranch dressing

and bacon served on glazed donuts. I forgot. I was just going to say, I remember that chicken being pretty spicy and good, but that was because I took a bite without the donuts. All right. Last one. Whiskey glazed donut burger. The main event. Our signature burger, cheddar, crispy fried onions, hickory smoked bacon, and pickles served on a sweet, soft-glazed donut.

No, no. Let's be clear. Donuts. Served on sweet, soft-glazed donuts. Now, my thought was, okay, they're going to take a donut, they're going to cut it in half, and then that's going to be the top and bottom bun. Yeah, no.

Incorrect. You're an idiot. Two full donuts. One donut on top, one donut on the bottom. Glazed like a son of a bitch. Is that Gordo's restaurant, like the brick and mortar restaurant, is that still around? I think so. If not, the food truck is still.

Yeah. The food truck's never going away. But they opened a restaurant and their gimmick is donuts and they would kind of do stuff like this where the buns for stuff was donuts, but they don't just throw glazed donuts on it it would be like it'd be like garlic donut without any icing or anything and it would not be one whole donut it would be right it'd be portioned correctly it would be something you can both hold and fit in your mouth right exactly this was neither this was neither yeah this was neither. Yeah. This was not that. I squished the fuck out of mine.

Like, I'm like, well, there's no way I'm going to be able to. I just fucking smashed it. I just as flat as I could. And I still couldn't do it. It was insane. This is the version that I thought Gordo's restaurant was going to be. And after eating this, I was like, oh, I see why they didn't do that. Right.

Right. Impossible. Impossible. Yeah. Also, could the burger be any drier just out of curiosity oh my god well we don't know yet we don't hey we don't know yet and in fact i might not know when we get to the rating because it was a day ago michael's still piecing it together it's nothing but a sense memory at this point. I hope the press material is able to explain.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it'll explain. Anything. Here it comes. Hey, you're going to love the explanation. Okay. Quote, under the big top was inspired by the pent up demand to go back to restaurants and annual events that provide nostalgic and memorable

experiences like the state fair or the circus says says sarah bittorf tgi friday's chief experience officer as we approach warmer months and brighter days ahead there's a desire for fun experiences and a reason to celebrate we hear consumers loud and, and we can't wait to safely bring this, oh God, extra craveable experience to them. That one stopped you in your tracks. Extra craveable. Extra craveable. I'm not even sure craveable is the right word, but to go above that. I'm going to backtrack here when you point out, what the hell is a chief experience

officer? And you know it was invented so someone just goes, yeah, I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO. Don't ask what it stands for. I'm the CEO. Is she the one that resigned to join the circus? Chief experience officer. Well, I'm just glad there's

someone to blame when you go to the Fridays. It's like, this sucks. Everything about this sucks. Who's responsible for this? Hi, it's me, Sarah. I'm just glad there's someone to blame when you go to the Fridays. It's like, this sucks. Everything about this sucks. Who's responsible for this? Hi, it's me, Sarah. I'm the CEO. How do you become the CEO of Face Jam? I'm the CEO of Face Jam.

I just claimed it. How do you? Okay, what does it stand for? Chief. Chief Exploration Officer. I'm going to say, I'm just thinking, I'm just spitting silly here. I assume eating would be involved. No, that's Michael's. That's Michael's. I mean, you eat the food too. Yeah. But you can be

the CEO. You were the one that just screamed. Yeah, he jumped on it like a crackle on a french fry and now he's going here, you can be it, you can do it. He's the CEO chief eating officer. I'm CEO chief exploration officer. What are you exploring?

The unknowns. This went nowhere. Cut this too. You heard it. You heard it. Sweer science again. What was it like getting the food riveting press material uh what was it like getting the food was weird because the whole inside has turned into a carnival they have like you didn't know where to go everywhere there's like there's like face cutouts on like

uh it's probably like two feet by three feet of like oh put your face in the hole so you can like take a fun picture except instead of like mounting it so that way you can get on like one side to do it they've hung it from like the tallest part of the ceiling so like no one could get to the taller one i could stand on my tippy toes and get to like the short one and like i would be able to put my face through it but that's it it was insane could you could you could you write to sarah bitorf and i'll let her know that my experience was not chief yeah unsatisfactory do you think part of sarah's approach to um that she can't wait to safely bring this extra craveable experience to the audience is like come on in during the pandemic and stick your face in this hole where everyone else is sticking their face in. Well, not if we put it high enough, lest you be tempted.

Hey, hey, you see that thing hanging from the ceiling? Just go rub your face. Forget about the last year. Just go rub your face. Welcome back. Welcome back. Eat the donuts. Okay. Thank you. Remember when Applebee's had those welcome back commercials in like may of last year yep come on hey come on back we're open and it's like oh we're in this for long haul guys i don't i will say that getting the food was fine it's tgi fridays has an easy like here you just order on the thing and pick up the thing and it's fine they do drinks to go so uh it was all fine. They do drinks to go.

Yeah, they do. So it was all good to go. Everything was fine. So we could eat as much on the menu as we possibly could. Michael's drink did not look like the drink in the picture. No, that's true. The cotton candy Cosmo did not look like the drink in the picture. It just looked like a pink thing, and then he said it tasted like candy.

Yeah, that was a tummy ache as it was happening. You know, sometimes you eat something or you drink something and you say, oof, that didn't settle right. I took a sip and I said, ow. It physically hurt you? This drink has hurt me. Yeah, every time I took a sip, I went, this hurts. Yep, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. This is punching me on the way down for some reason. Yeah.

Fought all the way down. So. Seem fucked up. There you go. The food. Guys, now it's time to review the food. TGI Friday's under the big top menu. This is going to take forever.

It is. I'm not going to talk about everything individually. Oh my God. The experience overall. I'll give you some time then. My experience overall. It started off pretty promising the fries were you know the loaded fries are fun that's cool you can't screw that up

the uh sliders the honey glazed sliders with the chicken actually pretty good but it was an ominous start with how sticky they were. And when you think... They were glazed. Honey glazed, it's like, cool. That's fine. I expect to get a little sticky. That's okay. I can handle this amount of stick. And the burgers and the chicken were actually pretty good. So I thought it was a really good

start. Little did I know it was all downhill from there. Because when we dug into the mozzarella ooey gooey attack or whatever it is that looked like it had just been microwaved eric put his order in and they were like we'll make this now and then just throw it in here yeah and he'll come pick it up he squished the burger they took care of it yeah there mozzarella. I think they made it and then they have someone

sit on it before they wrap it for you. It looked like it had coagulated and turned into lasagna. Yeah, Nick called it lasagna and he was right. I mean, that's exactly what it was like. That one was definitely the worst thing. And then you get to

the atrocities that are the donut burgers slash sandwiches. And it's a fucking burger that's cooked to death. It was so cooked. It was so dry. It was burnt. And then you got that. I wouldn't even say like like complimenting or anything it was it was colliding with the donut because you got the sweet donut and then burger and then it's just a fight

in your mouth of these two combating flavors and it's just like why did anyone do this the first bite i took was i'm gonna try to eat this like you're supposed to. I'm going to eat it like a burger. That was a mistake. The bottom was so soggy. Yeah. With like whatever jam or sauce they put on it. And it's just, they don't go together.

Like they don't go together. That's, that's why the question is, who is this for? Kept coming up where it's like, why, who did they think this would appeal to? Like, we're probably the only people

who's ever ordered this. I just, I feel like looking at it as a whole concept, I can't help but think it's a real Jurassic Park situation where it's like they never stopped to think whether or not they should. They only wondered whether or not they could. And I mean, they could could but they definitely should have so i just i can't help but think that it's a whole waste and i'm going to do i'm going to do a first i'm going to give this a conditional score what is that i'm giving it a

conditional two i'm not giving it a one because it's possible that something worse might happen to us on this show and be worthy of the one. But if nothing ever does, this will revert to a one. Wow. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. A two? Damn, Eric, I thought you were mad. What the fuck remember they would never do this on selena and

chef they have no business they have no business serving this to any human craig maybe but not us remember when jordan said i'm gonna make them pay. And gave like a seven? It was a 10, I think. Oh, my God. Was that Red Lobster? Who was that? Who did you make pay? No, that was Outback. That was Outback.

That was Outback. Maybe I was too generous to them. I'm just saying, that came out of left field. No lead up, no nothing. Two. That's why I'm giving you a two. Holy shit. Because it's just, it's not food.

This was not food. I appreciate the conditional nature of your score where if this podcast ends and nothing combats this for lowest, then automatically this goes down to one. It's like, it's like, you know, how they'll trade draft picks in the NFL. It's like, well, if this player does good, then this turns into a better pick. So if this gets, if we do nothing worse, this is a lower score. There you go. Incredible. Michael, top that.

I'm shocked. Oh, I will. Three. I don't have enough hate in my heart. I agree. That's one. Two. Two?

That's the difference between you and me, Michael. I get it's a score of a whole, but he talked about how much he liked the sliders. I talked about how it was a good start. But you used the word good start and ended with a two, and it's just as crazy

to me. You're like a donut cheeseburger right now. I just don't get you. I don't understand you. I'm not fit for human consumption. I agree. I also like how you said you're not going to go through everything and then you went through everything. I didn't talk about the chicken.

Well, you did a little bit, but you're right. You did skip the chicken. You mentioned it earlier that you liked how spicy it was. You can edit that out then. No, leave it in. Swear science. Don't edit anything. Just put swear science right there.

The fries were good. I liked them. They were covered in cheese and all kinds of shit, but it was all good shit. I think collectively we had to just stop eating the fries so we could save room for the other food. They didn't fuck them up. It was queso cheese with extra cheese.

I don't think I had any of the ranch. And I do remember Nick eating the ranch and saying, it doesn't help. And then Eric said, you used the ranch or something like that and i looked at him and screamed are you surprised that nick was talking to yeah what he's going crazy on that sauce man they were good they were good i also agree the sliders were very good i'm gonna escalate it to very good i was surprised how good they were the chicken was good and the sliders were good. And they were a little sticky, but it was like a finger licking sticky, right?

Like you pick it up, you bite it. They were actual buns. And then, you know, lick. Manageable sticky. Manageable. You know, little sticky, little lick, little napkin wipe, you're fine. Licky sticky.

The mozzarella, that was just a mush mouth. Right. That was just a mouth of goo. I didn't know. It's weird because the fries were just covered in cheese. And I remember even Jordan saying, all I'm, all I taste is cheese.

And, but it was like, it was good. And when you could taste it, this thing was also just cheese, but it tasted like just nothing. It was just like mush. I don't know what the difference was, but it was not great.

It was just like whatever. It was cafeteria food. It was absolutely cafeteria lasagna that someone sat on, and then they gave it to us. Oh, yeah, and then, I like reading this, and then it says skewered with two mozzarella sticks. I remember that. After, like, because we cut up the sandwich into pieces, and we all took a piece, and

then there was just a stick with two mozzarella sticks on it. Like, the garnish. And I was like, we were all just like, no, we don't need that. We don't need more mozzarella sticks. That's what's in the sandwich. Then, I can't remember if we ate the chicken or the burger next, probably the burger. Dude,

I grabbed the fucking burger. I just grabbed it. And before I took a bite, I picked it up and I put it down. And it was like, it was like grabbing a burn victim and then letting go. And all their skin had transferred to your hands where I was like, a burn victim and then letting go and all their skin had transferred to your hands where i was like what the fuck and i was just holding my hand in front of eric and

like in front of his face like look at this and it was just not just sticky but like the donut it was so sticky i let go of the donut and the donut ripped off and stuck to my hands. The donut came with you? I was like, what the fuck? I hate this. So I picked it back up. I tried my best to take a bite. It's just like smashing glazed syrup into your face. Here's the other thing about the donuts you didn't really mention.

They were dry, too. They weren't even good donuts. They weren't like- They were like leftover from another donut place. Dude, if you're going to do like a donut thing, it also has to be a good fucking donut. It was just like, eh, whatever. We got the leftover donuts at H-E-B and then the next day used them for our Friday's burger. So the burger was overcooked. The donuts were not soft.

They weren't like fluffy on the inside. It was just like dry donut and sticky as fuck. Like they covered it. I hated it. I absolutely hated it. I had to like smash my face through a mountain of stick to get to the burger inside, which was absolutely overcooked.

It was fine. They've been sued enough. They don't need any salmonella or mad cow slossy. And then after that colossal disappointment, we went on to the chicken. We cut the chicken. I think we all picked up our own burgers once and then went, I'm never touching this again.

Yeah, I think we all, it was like a pact of like, how are we going to eat the rest of this? And there's more food here we haven't gotten to. Turned to the plastic utensils of just cutting it up and eating it. So I went right to that with the chicken. And probably the only positive I'll say about the chicken was like, it was surprisingly spicy. Like it had a good spice to it. But I was already crushed from the mozzarella stick and the donut sandwich at that point. You were crushed like the sandwich was crushed.

It was, it was, what they needed to do was crush the goddamn donut like the crushed stick melter. Because the thing was like two feet tall. It was insane. Put it in this smushing machine. Cut the goddamn donut in half. Why is there two donuts? Use two halves of a donut. What the fuck?

It was the equivalent of taking two full buns. Let's put a top and bottom bun at the top and a top and bottom bun at the bottom. It didn't make any goddamn sense. Here's my issue with this. This already makes no sense. The, like, even in that description. Well, people are

tired of being inside in the pandemic so we thought circus donuts. It doesn't make any sense at all. And also, Carlton's involved. It doesn't make any sense at all. It's harebrained. But what really fucking sucks is there was no effort in it, right?

Someone didn't say, okay, there's a good way to make this happen here. Figure it out. They just went, fuck it. Put the donuts on it and let them figure it out. There's no ingenuity. There's no, like you said, Gordo's where it's like, maybe don't cover it in fucking sticky glaze. Maybe try to make it complement the food. Maybe make it a size where you could pick it up and put it in fucking sticky glaze or have it try to make a compliment.

Maybe, maybe make it a size where you could pick it up and put it in your mouth like a cheeseburger, like what you're selling too much. But they didn't do any of that. So it was, it was a little bit of up and then quickly the drinks, the, the cotton candy Cosmo love the name. Holy shit. It was like, I, everything hurt as I was drinking it. I said at the end of the meal, after drinking that, and then I also had the fireball thing because I wanted to try both drinks.

That wasn't as bad, but I contracted diabetes throughout the course of this meal. It was, I woke up this morning with a stomach ache and not like, Oh, upset tummy. I got to take a dumper. I ate some food. Like, like I felt like there was a knife inside me this morning and I know it's

just from sugar. I don't eat that much sugar. And I'm just going, ah, why? Who would eat this? So it was, it was maybe one of the most painful experiences eating this food wow a range

of emotions two still seems extreme but i will say i mean bonus points for the fanfare yeah it's it's certainly a production it's not a good one but it's a production correct and they hung the shit in the store that you took pictures of but uh I would never tell someone to go eat this at best I'd say oh the sliders were pretty good

that's what I would say and the french fries I'd say if you want to try it get the sliders and the french fries absolutely would not recommend anything else but

I'm rating this as a whole so I will say conditionally oh my god I'm gonna this as a whole. So I will say conditionally, oh my God, I'm going to give it 25. Wow. Point six, 25.6.

What's the condition? Like it's a two and it's a two in one. Right. Okay. Gotcha. 13.8. Oh, nice.

13.8 is the final score of what we, that's got, that's gotta be the lowest thing, right? Is there something lower than that? 13.8. Oh, nice. 13.8 is the final score of what we ate here. That's got to be the lowest thing, right? Is there something lower than that? There's probably something lower than that, but man, 13.8 is rough. At the start of the show, you know how Michael says you probably do need it?

Uh-huh. You don't need this one. And you know how Jordan says that, and I like to argue with him a lot. I think he's right on this one. Yeah. If you're dying to try it, and I like to argue with him a lot. I think he's right on this one. If you're dying to try it, the fries are pretty good. It's not even good for like a ha-ha, I'm eating the donut thing.

It's not worth it. It's not a funny joke. It's not a good joke. Eric and I, in particular, we were angry at how sticky. Eric just kept saying, I hate this. I hate this. I fucking hate this. I'm so fucking mad right now.

I'm so fucking mad. It was just sitting there and just covered, and there's nothing you can do. Why did they make it? Why? It's fucking miserable. It's miserable. It was miserable. Pointless food pointless food well 13.8 is definitely what it was so damn uh so here's the thing with the snack attack we had we had a snack snack attack planned for yesterday that i brought and then we ended up not recording but here's also what happened we got churros yeah we got we got churros so our snack for this will be the tgif

churros based on uh based on your limited uh review of those from yesterday those also sucked they were fucking huge they were gigantic they were like two feet long they came in a uh guitar shape guitar case length container it was so big they were like two feet long and i kept i was like they're fucking huge and eric kept going oh they're churros they're churros and i go i know what a fucking churro is they're not this long like they were insanely they weren't just long too they were like they were girthy they weren't like the churros at like disneyland that are long but like small these were like big fat boys too yeah here's here's a problem with the churros okay didn't have enough like dust on them talk about okay you get. You get the cinnamon.

For everything else saying, too much fucking sugar. Not enough sugar on the churro. Zero. There's almost none. The one thing they needed. The one thing that that's what you're eating dries a fucking bone. Yep. But also too soft.

They weren't crispy in any way. Weirdly doughy. Yeah. They were doughy. You guys grabbed them and then immediately started saying, are these filled? They smell like they're filled. Right?

They smelled like there was going to be cream in them, which usually there isn't, and there wasn't. So I was like, what the hell is the smell? It was a double trick. There's usually not cream, and guess what? There wasn't. What smells like cream? Where does that cream smell come from? I'll say there were, if I recall, two different dipping sauces for them.

Yeah. But quite frankly, after what we had just eaten, we didn't even open them. Right? What's the point? I was like, look, look, I have never eaten a churro where you had to dip it it's it is what it is it's just a it's just a cinnamon stick you grab and you eat it in the theme park while you're walking disney or six flags oh there's a churro stand let me get a churro you eat the churro you move on with your day you're giving me sauce they're dry they're not crispy there's no cinnamon

fuck this it was a shit not even not even a fucking churro it was the ending it was it was just like the the little turd on the shit sundae yep it was just like the little the little like dookie pellet like a bird turd right on the top of the friday's experience and we were just like this sucks now let's go knock this let's go knock these sponsors out of the park and then we gave an unusable interview by eric who refused to be in it does is that gonna uh influence the score at all yeah what's the churro score i mean i don't know it was just disappointing but like it wasn't bad but it wasn't i mean it wasn't a fucking churro yeah as far as churros go, it wasn't. It's a poorly made churro.

I'm giving it somewhere in the five range. Damn. What does that mean, just five? It means five. It means five. Pay attention. It means 5.0 to 5.9. But what is it?

What are you picking? Five. Okay. I'm going to give it something in the 8 to 12 range uh-huh what would that be it's gonna be a 10 okay there you go so uh it's it's a it's a 7.5 it's a 7.5 i mean like the thing is they tried but they fucked up man yeah he did it's fucked up hard. Yep. Bad churro. My stomach still hurts. Yeah. Don't feel good. I think we were the clowns, according to Jordan's haiku.

24 hours later, yeah. I'll also say this about, no, whatever. You have a range of reactions from eating food or a lot of food or certain kinds of food. I felt like someone drugged me an hour or so later. I was so goddamn tired. I was so sleepy. I needed a nap so bad. It's like a bunch of people in their 30s and 50 who just could not

stay awake after eating Fridays for lunch because we had just been drugged with just this sugar overload. We just had sugar and salt until we were like ready to fall asleep. It was really bad.

Like that is detrimental to your body. It's true. I might like that probably took some like years off our lives, you know, collectively. Absolutely. This one, I feel like I feel like this, you know, I don't ever want this podcast to influence people going or not going to a restaurant because at the end of the day i don't give a shit i feel like on their own big top menu there should be some sort of medical advisory of like if you're a diabetic you'll die yep do not eat yeah absolutely your death death if you're not a diabetic you will be by the time you're gonna become one yeah i hope you don't like soda because you'll never drink it again.

You'll never have it again. Michael went from perfectly healthy to he lost his foot after eating this. It was pretty rough. I was in peak physical condition. What I'm going to do when I sue Fridays is I'm going to show them a photo of late 2018, early 2019

and just say, this is what I looked like before I ate your meal. And hopefully they won't see any photos of 2020 or 2021. I don't imagine that information is out there for them to find. I'll just say, look what you did to me! Yep. And I'll cut off my own foot. Look what you made me do.

I bet it really fucked up your 10 and 10. Well, no, it 10 and 10. Well, no, it definitely helped me. Yeah. Cause he needs to get back up so that way he can go back down. Yeah. I was,

I was losing too much. Friday set that course back on path. Let me tell you, they, they, they were like, hang on. Yep.

Boy, that's a, well, hell of a restaurant. TGI Fridays. We'll try not to go back again too soon. Guys, if you want to send us spicy snacks, you can. I scream when I sneeze now.

Bless you. We do have too many snacks, so don't feel obligated to send anything. But if you would like to send us spicy snacks, we're looking for something that might be coming up in the next month or so. So you can send them to Face Jam, care of Eric Badour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas. 7-8-7-2-3. You can also follow at Face Jam Pod on Twitter to stay up to date with everything that we have going on.

StoredOurWristerTeeth.com has all your Face Jam needs. And if you missed Space Jam Eats Space Food. God damn it. If you guys missed it. You're an idiot. No, you can't fix it. Swear science. Nope, nope.

Edit it. I'm talking over you, so you can't. If you guys missed, no. If you guys missed Space Jam Eats Space Food, it's on Rooster Teeth's site right now. You go to roosterteeth.com. I don't think you need a first membership. I think it's just free to everyone,

but sign up for a first membership anyway. I don't know. And you can check out Face Jam Animated. Face Jam Animated is a run that we're doing right now that is a bunch of cartoons that are like the best select moments from Face Jam Animated. Monkey!

Monkey! Mayor McCheese. Where were you? There are all of your favorite moments. You can go back and listen to those episodes, but then let us know which ones you want animated. Let me ask you this. Maybe we'll do more.

Going back real quick to Selena and Chef. Yeah. Do they ever do anything with bugs? I don't think so. But you don't know for sure. I'm pretty sure. What if they did? We might have to get into that bug game.

No, we're not getting into the bugs. Do not send bugs. Even as a joke. What if you're watching an episode and then it starts out like a regular recipe and you're cooking along and you're like, I'm digging this. And then Selena goes, all right. And then we crack open the bugs and put them, just drop those in. Crack open the bugs?

Just go reach into your bug drawer. Go in your garage. Start scooping the corners. Throw them in a pot. Here's what I say. Selena plus chef equals Space Jam. Whoa. See?

Now everyone's on board. See? It's a good show. Minus Eric. What? Come on. Oh! No.

Stop. Stop. Okay. Well, that's it. We did it. What an episode. Can I point something out? Go ahead. Don't sigh at me. Stop. Okay. Well, that's it. We did it. What an episode. Can I point something out? Go ahead.

Don't sigh at me. Nick wore that shirt yesterday. It's true. You probably sweat so much in that shirt. Someone woke up like that. Stop this camera. Oh, shit. Oh, that's fucking great. Oh, shit. Oh, man.

Jordan, take us out. Rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you for listening. Send someone to the circus instead of going what? To Fridays. Do the Carlton.