100% Eat - We Once Again Almost Try the Food %% Starbucks Spring Menu
Episode Date: April 8, 2025Putting aside the oil coffee disaster that was our previous Starbucks venture, Our Heroes BRAVELY return to this java shop to try their new Spring Menu. Starbucks has been hitting the skids as of late... and they're hoping you'll stick around for free refills and stealable ceramic mugs. Should you bother grabbing a matcha drink from this place or does the lavendar coffee hit the spot. Either way, don't bother trying to order both food things because you ain't gettin em. Sponsored by ExpressVPN. Get an extra four months FREE at ExpressVPN.com/percent. Also sponsored by GoldBelly. Go to GOLDBELLY.com and use code PERCENT to get free shipping and 20% off your first order. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP Fast food restaurant? Starbucks? Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's pretty fast food. Hey, hey, we- It's so fast that they get it wrong.
Yeah, I was gonna say try every fast food restaurant.
But not the food.
Well, some of the food.
We once again, just like the last episode,
won't be trying the food.
Well, hold on.
The last episode-
Yeah, we didn't get the pizza.
Oh, that's true. They didn't have the pizza, the Red Robin.
And we almost didn't get the Little Seamans.
I remember, cause it was only yesterday. A week from now, I'd say, When did we go to Red Robin? Red Robin. we almost didn't get the little season. I remember because it was only yesterday A week from now I'd say when did we go to Red Robin?
What is he talking about? I don't even remember. Also who are you? I don't even remember what the food was you know?
But that sandwich was so forgettable. Would you don't stop stop drinking it
I just said I have to. You can drink it. You're not reacting like oh a gremlin
I mean it is. You're not doing gremlin squats over here. It does taste like what he's doing,
but I'm trained, you know what I mean?
Yeah, you trained this morning.
It tastes like going to...
You don't even see it.
It tastes like going to Easter at grandma's house.
You know what I mean?
Tastes like Easter?
At grandma's house.
Stop eating grandma.
It's like kind of disgusting.
No, grandma's house.
Enough!
This is where, this actually isn't a podcast, it's an podcast an intervention. I read a stop your grandma's reached out to us
Stop you need to stop. I did an hour 15 minute leg workout, and it's like yeah
I feel great is what you were talking about yesterday like God. I feel good
My legs haven't felt this good in forever, but like you don't see it
I work out yeah upper body nine minutes and people like wow you look good You look good today, and I was like I worked out today
It's just my lower body got a little bit of a pump going and then your legs don't your legs recover
Do a cover is the my legs like like yes when I was I was laying on the floor about
40 minutes in and I was just going this is where I die yeah
This is where I die
But I made it, but the upside is it's a 48 like day program right for two
It's supposed to do four a week for 12 weeks. It's no longer 48 to me
It's one leg day a week and then and then I don't think about the other three that are now. That's right
Yeah, yeah, now fun times. You know like the first one was hard, but I did enjoy it you need like now
I fucking hate this. Yeah.
And so it's just like,
shaka draa one!
Yep.
It's like a window.
It's kind of like it's now Friday.
Everyone needs a leg lower body workout.
It's kind of like it's now Friday.
Yeah.
There you go, yeah.
But then-
It is Wednesday, Friday.
When I do, I think, when I do,
so it's like, I assume it'll be legs every four,
every four, every four. Yeah. Now I'm like, I got three until legs. it's like I assume it'll be legs every four every four every four
Yeah, now I'm like you I got I got three until legs
It's like yeah, and then I'll do one more and be like only two more. Oh, no the next one
It'll be like you know how Monday sucks so bad ruins your Sunday. You're gonna have the Sunday
my last upper body
You're gonna have like a scary dude I do I will but
only for three weeks yeah yeah yeah only one season you know I will say when you
stumble and say weeks yeah and then you say months makes the month seem a lot
longer yeah they are yeah ever heard of a calendar as I know it's terrible yeah
do you know what coffee is bitch is it Is it this? I think it might be this. It wasn't the other thing. Neither drink we got was very
coffee-ish was it? This looks more coffee-like. Yeah but only like if maybe
you're not from this planet. This is what Nick looked like when he got sick. This was the color Nick turned. You mean hungry?, yeah. This was the color he turned in that parking lot.
Yeah, you looked bad.
We had a lot of drinks.
It was, but you kept saying I'm hungry.
And I was like, this is what you look like
when you're hungry.
It was both.
I'll say it, I said it many times since.
I do remember this.
I think he looks like a vampire that hasn't had blood.
That's what they look like.
It really. Like in the originalsals where they get stabbed in the heart,
they're like, they turn gray and veins come out.
And they go into like a sleep.
But they're just like, I'm hungry.
Yeah, it's weird when you see someone who you,
you look at them and you go, they're sick.
And then when you go, hey, are you feeling okay?
The thing that's said back to you is I'm hungry.
Also, I've never seen anyone look like that while sick.
Yes, yeah, no.
Like I'll turn super white,
like whiter than my white already.
Like get real pale.
And my eyes will be like this.
Like you just get your face kind of sagged a little bit.
Nick just turned gray.
He turned, whoa.
Small, that's the reason. Also, I fell on the other side. Yeah, exactly. little bit Nick just turned gray he turned whoa yeah exactly so we were just
a Palo Duro Canyon it was hot what did he say how we were somewhere Canyon
Palo Duro Palo Duro I just didn't hear I didn't attack you I just didn't
understand I didn't I just yeah I couldn't understand it I still was that
that day when the woman took a picture with you. Oh, oh the women's yeah
Oh, yeah, they great there was more than one day like monkey
Can we take a picture with this guy?
Absolutely, you were about to leave and they were like hold on. Yeah, is there anything else to do with it?
He'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely
Can't speak he doesn't know how to say no no. Nope. That was the day where we drove there.
It was like, was it like mid morning?
And then it was like the first thing we really did
was drink that beer.
Well, right.
It was a lot of like driving, driving, driving,
get out, slam it!
All right, back in the car.
Drink it all, get in the car.
And we're just like, what the fuck?
This is 8%.
We had to get like a water burger.
Yeah.
One morning.
Man.
Like lunch for breakfast
What a trip and then we have to get sandwiches before we eat the peanut butter and jelly
That we've been waiting forever to try my whole my whole life. I've been waiting for this
I'm gonna get now. I'm gonna get firehouse subs. What the fuck?
Are you something's not good fire? No, they're not good a very weird
They have they have a whole shit tube running out the front of the restaurant man
But this is the color you turned
Did you write what the hell this is on here what Starbucks spring menu I see okay, so no
Oh, is that what they're doing? Yeah, well, I was gonna say what this is, but I don't know what the hell it is
It's like urd tree, right?
Were you naming Pokemon like?
Is this going on we were talking about flowers and drinks you said keep your urd berry
Tree yeah, dude urd berry that's some dung eater stuff Eldenberry
This one was lavender right? Yes lavender and a matcha That's some dung eater stuff. Like, Eldenberry and all that.
This one was Lavender, right?
Yes.
There's a Lavender and a Matcha.
Oh, okay.
A Lavender and the Eldenberry's Matcha.
There were like five more drinks that we didn't get
because it would have been like so many.
Are they all on here?
No, I did not list the ones we did not get.
Can you tell us what they are?
They were Refreshers, so it's like a berry refresher thing.
Oh, that sounds good.
That's better than this. Yeah, I sounds good. That's better than this.
Yeah, I mean, it probably is better than this.
It probably is way better than this.
This, yeah, I would think so, because this sucks.
This fucking sucks ass.
They had some, I guess the things that we were getting,
like the reason to get, was they have food items.
Well, we have a fucking show to make, buddy. That's the reason. Right, right, like the reason to get was they have food items show to make buddy
That's the right right, but the reason for your head if we stop eating as we stop shedding
We when do you what do you mean? I got him hey don't worry about him. I'll handle him
Keep him in the water. Don't worry about what don't worry about why do you think I'm doing 12 weeks to Jack?
Did not think it was gonna end it with love.
Yeah.
Thought it did not end with love.
I thought it was gonna be down.
Got very nervous.
I'm calling it, in two weeks you're gonna be like,
fuck, you look big.
It's gonna be two weeks.
Eight workouts in this hellhole.
Oh yeah, well that's close.
I mean by the time this is out,
we don't have to worry about it.
Ice lavender oat milk latte. Lavender oat about it. Ice Lavender Oat Milk Latte.
Lavender Oat Milk Latte.
Ice Cherry Chai Latte.
Blackberry Sage Lemonade Refresher.
Midnight Drink.
Whoa!
Cortado.
I don't know if we didn't get it though.
Cortana?
Yeah, Cortana.
Ice Lavender.
It would have been blue.
I would have loved it.
Ice Lavender Cream Oat Milk Matcha.
Those are, those are all of the drinks.
What did we drink?
Food items.
We got the ice, lavender, cream, oat milk, matcha,
and the ice, lavender, oat milk latte.
Oh.
Oh, there's lavender in both of them.
So we got two lavender drinks.
Yeah.
I didn't pick up on that.
If I didn't tell you they were both lavender,
would you have tracked it?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
It doesn't look like the last drink.
No.
Yeah, the matcha. They taste completely different. I'm all. It doesn't look like the last drink. No?
They taste completely different.
I'm shocked.
I'm shooketh.
Yeah.
I mean, you couldn't move me, but I'm shook.
Only I can shake myself.
Yeah.
Not shaking.
But on Friday, I think we can move you because you want me to.
A gust of wind.
It's going to knock me over.
I'm going to need a fucking wheelchair.
No, Hot Wheels?
Hot Wheels are cool.
I know, right?
That's what I said. We were texting about this. I said, that's not even an insult. Yeah. I need a fucking wheelchair. Hot wheels? Hot wheels are cool.
That's what I said.
We were texting about this and I said, that's not even an insult.
The thing about it is like,
looking for any reason to get mad at the other side, whatever.
He's an evil man.
He is.
Yeah, that's what I've been saying about him.
Jordan's an evil man for not finding that insulting. See?
I just wish a tree had fallen on me.
You should grow out your mustache a little bit more.
I don't think I could.
The loopholes closed.
I know, right, yeah.
Because he's so good.
If he grew out a little more, he could be Waluigi.
Oh!
No, I would have to like, I would have to crimp it.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
The classic homie of L'Oreal.
Growing through.
Did you see that Ken Paxton might be running
against John Cornyn?
What?
Whoa, they're gonna kill each other.
Yeah.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
Yeah, well, it's more like normal conservatives
or mega conservatives.
Yes.
I was reading that this morning wow real who ever like we lose
situation yeah screwed yeah they still
like hasn't announced it yet but he was
like what is saying like he's had his
time because he's it's his fifth yes yes
yes Ken Pax did coming in my turn yeah great
cool cool wow that's crazy wow anyway
that concludes the Texas politics segment. It's Texas
Dumb uh
We had a
Clock brighter today. Yeah, did you charge it you turn up the brightness button?
Definitely the brightness button, right doesn't look brighter Jordan. There's a brightness button on the side. No, there is I it just Has been pressed I know it can get brighter, and I think it just has been activated. There's music and volume
Oh, maybe not. No, I thought there was a brightness button. It seems brighter seems way. It is way brighter
What's gonna happen if I push the music button? I don't change what song plays. I thought it was only one song no what?
You thought you thought what it was on there dad dad dad is the only song programmed in it
What are you need? Are you not?
There's what's happening here, or are you being dumb? He's making fun of Gracie
Was that a Gracie thing? Yes. Oh, I don't remember that. Yeah, I don't remember that music played and she's like, what is that?
What is it? What is it? And I and I knew cuz we changed it and I went it's always been that I don't remember
It off was that 100% either
Yeah, was not that long ago was here. Oh fuck. I don't remember that
She was like she's like you should do something different. I'm going it always does that was one of Michael's life
That was my life and then right at the end. They went like oh yeah, there's different music. Yeah
That was it since face. Yeah, I'm good. That was the sound. Yeah. Oh, I know it has been a long time
That was the thing that's what I leaned into and never I knew exactly what she was talking
Why is it brighter? That's weird. I'm telling you. It looks brighter
It's way way this includes the is the clock brighter so no it's not
It is brighter. How did that happen? Yeah segment? Uh-huh. Okay, that's I'm okay with it. I like it
That's how I know cuz I went wow it's so much easier to read. I'll be honest. I'm positive on it
What do you guys think brighter? That's how far into they never get to see
It anyway, so I don't think they have a good scale
That unless you have a time machine. I don't know that's gonna help
Okay
I'm just and I've looked at it for months. Oh and today. I went wow looks bright. It is I don't know that
I hear you yeah, yeah, and I hear you I acknowledge. I agree with you, but I agree with him. No yes
This is watch the ride-along unreal
Actually Eric, it's not real. It's not unreal. We are in a reality where things are tangible, corporeal.
Unplug me from the matrix.
Never.
The issue that we had today was ordering from Starbucks,
but not all of it.
Yeah, so I don't know if it's their genius interface,
but apparently
If the our hunch is if they're out of something yes won't place the order at all It doesn't say out of stock so and we had to do two orders because geniuses over there
Well item limit put a limit 12 item limit, so we are gonna break the order up
Yeah, we even talked about going to two different start. Oh, yeah, we tried at that point
We made one order eight items and I'm like great then we'll do the other order will be the other eight items
And then I tried to do it and it went no, I can't do that and I went okay
So I'll go on the browser instead of the app
No browser and then uh
Tried to use a different card. No, you can't do that. Then we use
Yep a different phone and everything, you can't do that.
Okay. So then we went and ordered, Hey, do you have the, uh, do you have this drink?
Yeah. Great. Okay. Cool. Get four. Hey, do you happen to have the, uh, spicy falafel
pocket? Yes. Great. I'll get four of those. Oh, so much confidence. He rang it. No problem.
He was like, I got your order. Oh god damn good
Fucking dicks can get blown off when you see how perfect this order is you're gonna think you're at Arby's he didn't ask any questions
He wasn't like what the number of times I was like can I have four of these okay three days and the person goes
Whatever you say whatever you say whatever you say whatever they go. Why yeah, huh?
This guy was nothing but helpful
But not panic attack II nope Huh? But this guy was nothing but helpful. He went shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh Because we were going online okay, and so you ordered also the gray drink. I I ordered in person
Yes, I ordered the great Ryan Gosling gray drink. Yeah, this is this is for the gray man
This is to celebrate the gray man on Netflix. So what is that?
What do you think that is hmm? Let's see
It kind of looks like truck doors now this looks like a smiley face. Yeah
Hold it up to the camera That is definitely a smiley face. You're not gonna see it from that far away this looks like a smiley face. Yeah. What? Hold it up to the camera.
What the fuck is that?
That is a smiley face.
That is definitely a smiley face.
You're not gonna see it from that far away.
That's a smiley face.
That is just a random squiggle.
The only reason I bring up that
This is some sort of
Is because I saw your smiley face
and I went, oh, maybe I, what the fuck is this?
I think it's a kanji character or something.
I think it is.
Oh.
Very weird.
It means happy face.
Ordered the gray drink in the spicy falafel pocket
We do think two things we needed the to complete our woman was making the drinks and then went
Did you order this one or this other one and we went the this one she went? Hmm. He rang it in wrong
Well, you well it was like to be fair. Yeah, you were like, oh sorry about that
Yeah, well because I thought and then she went no. No you ordered it, right? He just ran it right and wrong
He was she really slammed. Yep. Yeah, and then we got the food and
It dawned on me as we got here. I'm like, they're gonna be wrong. That's what happened
That's why we couldn't order online because we ordered the spicy falafel ones
And then when we got there and I said do you have these he said yeah
And then rang in the other ones and, and then that's exactly what he did.
So we got eight of the jalapeno pocket things.
Totally unreal in an idiomatic sense of the word.
Yeah. Yeah.
Nick, are you okay with that?
He's right.
I feel idiomatic just hearing these big words.
You know what the hell is going on.
So we got a green drink and a gray drink green drink gray drink eight
Thing chicken yeah Bob yeah, yeah chicken Bob square pegs Bob's yeah Starbucks
Feels like no chicken Bob Starbucks has been going through a crisis of confidence
And it's been you can't even use their goddamn bathrooms for free anymore. It's been several years.
I mean, the last time we went there was for the genius move of the last of two CEOs ago.
The Olatto.
He was the old CEO who came back for a little bit.
But he wasn't CEO when we got them, right?
No, I don't think so.
So he kind of had like a back and forth and then there was another guy and then now there's
this new guy. And there's a new guy.
They have had a crisis of confidence.
They've lost a lot of money.
They have been trying to figure out how to rebrand,
but I couldn't tell you-
How do you rebrand Starbucks?
It's Starbucks.
There's no rebranding.
What are you talking about?
They are, they think there's something-
What is the brand now?
Yeah, I don't-
I think they think there's something different from what they are, they think there's something. What is the brand now? Yeah, I don't, it's coffee. I think they think there's something different
from what they are.
They don't see themselves as like a McDonald's.
Because they're not.
They, no, in terms of like,
they are the biggest thing of what they do.
That's what makes them the McDonald's of what they are.
I thought it was comparing it to a McDonald's.
No, no, no, but that's, they don't see themselves.
I can get chicken nuggets at the Starbucks.
They don't see themselves as that.
They see themselves as like, hey, we're just a coffee shop.
And it's like, you're not, you haven't been since 99?
No, yeah, I mean.
When was the Sopranos episode making fun of like Starbucks
and like shaking down like the Starbucks
that opens like in the neighborhood?
Yeah, and they can't.
Right, 2015?
2015, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starbucks right after 9-11. Yeah, it was, that one hit't right 2015 2015. Yeah, yeah, yeah Starbucks right after 9-eleven. Yeah
That's it
They haven't been
They haven't been a small hangout place, but I think that's what they're trying to be
Did you know somebody tables and like the big tables and like couch things or whatever?
We're in there now want to encourage people to get something and hang out.
Yes, why?
I don't know.
And they're limiting like the online orders.
Yeah, obviously.
They don't want you to like get it and go,
but that's what they are.
I don't know how they make money by you hanging around.
That very confusing.
It's very confusing.
Cause you keep getting coffee.
Ah, we'll learn, hey, we'll learn about that
in the facts section because again, there's a lot of I learned a lot about Starbucks in like their recent sort of debacles.
Yeah, because they've been doing a lot and they've been pissing a lot of people off. Yeah, including their workers. Yeah, but they've been doing that for a while.
They've a lot of boycotts and unionizing around Starbucks. And again, there's're McDonald's size.
They don't see themselves that way.
And I think it really fucks up.
Guys, you don't need a union.
We're just small Starbucks.
We're just little guys.
We're small bucks.
But if you talk about starting one, we'll kill you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We will hold you hostage and give you a presentation
on why unions are bad.
We will call the Pinkertons.
They will destroy you and your life and your family
And then we're gonna make you eat red robin salads. No
red robin they are
They are bottomless. They are huh? No, you'll never finish
Those guys needed union
I'm getting so much protein from a salad. Yes
Time for a sweet treat. I'm getting so much protein from a salad.
Yes!
How much though?
Not enough.
Not enough.
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Okay, and we're back again.
Okay, what?
I found it.
It's pushed the power button.
Is it?
Yes.
It did get brighter.
Oh!
It absolutely was here.
Yep.
And then it went to here.
Yep.
It's right again.
There you go.
No matter what. But the music does not change. No, it never has you mean the one song that's on there. Yeah
Fucking knew that she was bright. Hell. Yeah, uh, you know that gets past me. Well Starbucks is right. Usually not usually
It's a little bit of a confusing place
I think the only way to kind of like dispel things is to learn about it
That is a stupid way to say that Nick get him for it. What was dumb how you said that? It's a confusing place. We need to just what are youel things is to learn about it. That is a stupid way to say that. Nick, get him for it. That was dumb how you said that.
It's a confusing place. We need to just... What are you talking about? What's confusing about it?
Just say, let's read the fact.
Is that confusing? Thank you.
Thank you.
I didn't know what I wanted, but that was it.
It's okay. He didn't know what the fuck he was gonna say.
It was awesome.
You just have a dog, and he's just kind of hanging out and you go sick him and the dog goes
Hi, uh, okay. Yeah, but then
Maybe you pull out a gun. Yeah, I'm gonna say though. He got you dude. Yeah, you got bit suck
The past what am I cook
You wish our last starbucks episode is face jam was June 20th
2023 where we ate the Ol-Y-Ato. We ate it.
It received an average rating of 38.5.
Dude, I still remember the feeling of my gut after eating that.
I remember the feeling in my mouth.
It was like you, it was slippery.
I remember the oil penetrating the cup.
Yeah, I don't remember it at all. You really don't? I have no idea what you're talking about. It slippery the oil penetrating the cup. Yeah, I don't remember it at all you really don't
I have no idea what you're talking about. It was uh the oil coffee
It was the coffee that was like this and then it had just the
Yeah, now I remember yeah
According Shane's office said oil and I thought oil oh and I was like all the way there were then then when he went on
I went oh yeah, I remember that okay
Then then when he went on went oh yeah, I remember that okay
I'm more of a picture book guy. You know what I mean sure yeah We sure got kicked out of a lot of recording spaces for being in you for being one of the few
successful podcasts
I mean, I would we bought we bought this thing for a dollar
crazy
Crazy just weird we were good. I went through weren't successful. I went through- We weren't successful.
Yeah, yeah.
I went through old episodes.
We were everyone's favorite.
You're not allowed in there.
What are you doing in there?
I went through old episodes.
Did you say he could?
And-
I allowed it one time.
Oh, okay.
Oh, thank you.
But not now.
If you're bringing it up now, you're not allowed.
Careful.
I was going through old episodes
and went on RNGQ channel.
I'm gonna cancel your play date.
Oh, no. And I was like, oh, I need are you gonna cancel your playdate? Oh no and
I was like, oh I need to find like the Starbucks one or whatever
Our most popular videos are it's it's fucking crazy
Burger King chicken from three years ago. Why the chicken?
381,000 views and it's like what the fuck happened? What the fuck?
And I remember they were running ads or something.
Oh, that's right.
And they forgot to take it.
Like they put money behind the stuff
and it fucked up a bunch of shit.
And then it like, all of a sudden it's like,
you have five videos.
We have, on our channel,
there are videos that have crossed a million
because they put money behind something
and it fucked up a bunch of shit that got
Uploaded and it just got like
Astro turf views yeah awesome. Oh, we should we should do that again
I like astro glide views, but not pay for it. We got to figure out how not to pay for I want to get that
But not pay for yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like you get out what you put in right?
Yes, see if your teeth will do it again. No you don't get anything though. Yeah I know you get views and no money. No it doesn't count as a spend the money. It's just it is just astroturf. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah cool
Yeah, yeah, well then here's what we'll do. I'll go home, and I'll like click click on
Well, that's what everyone watching this needs to do. It's just let them run in for you in
perpetuity Yes, I can't talk to you this needs to do. Just do that. Just let him run in purp- uh, in pur- pur-tuity.
Yes. I can't talk sometimes.
Oh, use a VPN. That's good. Oh, yeah.
Should I do the next one?
Yeah, let's do it.
Are you still confused about Starbucks?
Nope.
I'm sorry, you were confused, but now you're not just after me reading the rating of the last score?
Yeah, because that was the confusing part. I'm like, what number was it?
Yeah, I'm like, it must have been a 70.
Nope. Wow. I thought 38 seemed what number was it? Yeah. I'm like, it must have been a 70.
Nope.
Wow.
I thought 38 seemed high.
Starbucks, it does seem high.
It was oil drink.
Starbucks, which has fallen on hard times due to boycotts and tumult at CEO position,
at the CEO position, has launched their Back to Starbucks campaign that is aiming to get
wait times down to four minutes and make Starbucks a place to hang out again
Starbucks has begun offering ceramic mugs for coffee drinkers who are made in-store. So thanks Starbucks for the free mug
It's literally the least you could do after your last CEO made his drink oil fucking idiots
That is another thing did they ask you when when we were there if you were staying or going no because I said
We also had that online order, so he's like okay, so I think you just put it in to go
But then I want to chill you guys notice anyone like that had like the ceramic
Look at you getting pissed off there was there was a guy with a ceramic mug a
Or I look at you getting pissed off there was uh there was a guy with a ceramic mug a
Starbucks ceramic mug does he get to take that home with him not know it's a loner
It got you're not supposed to but no one's gonna stop you Starbucks my grandma used to steal
Plastic cups from the hometown buffet. Yeah
They had like the diamond pattern on there were nice cups It was the level like, especially old people like stealing shit like that, but also not stealing,
but like, I'm gonna Nick style, I guess.
So we'll like take it like,
grab some ketchup, get some ketchup.
It's like, you don't need it.
Or like get some extra spoons.
Get some extra spoons.
Yeah, extra spoons.
Those are free.
Yeah.
But you don't, why do you need 50 napkins?
Right.
For what?
Cloth napkins.
My mom.
But it's also like the Great Depression thinking.
Like it's not that though.
You're fine.
You're retired.
Yep.
You have money, your house is paid off.
You get social security.
You can go buy, and it still existed back then.
That's actually during, that's actually a scam.
So it's actually a Ponzi scam.
They were scheming her the whole time?
Yeah, yeah, they were scamming her with money.
Yeah, you know how they were giving her money?
They kept giving her money.
Yeah, it was weird.
They kept going, this is your money here.
Wait, wait, wait.
Then they came back and they said,
now time for the interest.
That was also the Prados episode, right?
They were trying to shake down
all ladies for social security.
My mom is very into paper napkins that feel like they're cloth napkins.
Like the thickest paper napkins.
Like Thanksgiving napkins.
Yes, like the thickest napkins you can get, but they're paper, so you can throw them away.
If that happens at a restaurant, she goes, give me those, give me those, give me those.
It's like, I need my napkin.
We're eating.
Right.
I don't have napkins in my house. A paper towel. Yeah, oh, paper towels for everything. I don't understand why you would ever need my napkin. We're eating. Yeah. I don't have napkins in my house. A paper towel.
Yeah.
Oh, paper towels for everything.
You would ever have a napkin.
Yeah.
I will have a napkin is like, it's like toilet paper.
Yeah.
I'll have like a little grip of them if it's like,
oh, I got like a burger in there.
Exactly.
Something like the bag.
I throw them on the table.
I put them on the counter.
Exactly.
They'll go away.
Because it saves me.
I'm not buying napkins.
It saves me paper towels.
I'm not buying napkins. I'd me paper towels. I'm buying napkins.
I'd be like, oh, napkin for that until they're gone.
Yeah, and why would I ever buy napkins?
That's crazy.
If I've thrown a party and bought a bunch of paper plates
and stuff, it's like, I don't gotta do dishes
for a couple weeks.
Hell yeah, dude.
That's why we have plastic utensils and paper plates here,
because it was a thing that I bought forever ago
for like a party.
I went, oh, that's good.
It's great for kids, though, because they'll go through
Yeah.
Seven bowls a day.
And I'm like, how?
Well, I needed to have my cereal.
And I needed a bowl for my snacks.
Yeah.
Bowl for ice cream.
Yeah.
For this bowl for that, dude.
Bowl for soup.
They have fucking.
Don't don't rip through half the dishes in a day.
I'm like, but you haven't even eaten anything.
I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
I'm hungry. These bowls are empty.
Eat the food!
What I also do is, depending on what they eat, right?
Because they'll be bowl for snacks, bowl for whatever.
I'll absolutely take it, rinse it out, and put it right in the drying rack.
I don't wash this. They didn't eat out of it.
I have so many goddamn bowls.
They're eating food and germs. No, it's already goddamn bowl I don't like eating food and like germs sure goes in the dishwasher
If I'm giving you like some grapes in a bowl, yeah, fuck no, don't put that in the sink
It's that get the fuck out of here
That's why I yell at Lindsay too. And if they're like making bagels, I go stop licking the cream cheese
And then it's fine!
Now you've licked it!
Now it's gotta go in the sink!
I have a coffee spoon. You stir the coffee with the coffee spoon.
What size is it? Is it a teaspoon size?
That can be literally any size.
Coffee spoon's the specific size.
I think we covered this last time.
Jordan, you sound confused about Starbucks.
Let's keep reading.
In their continued attempt to get you to come back for more,
Starbucks has instituted a free refill policy.
In the first three weeks of this policy,
Starbucks is reporting a three times increase
to in-store foot traffic, which definitely shouldn't count
because we just keep coming back with our stolen ass mugs
to refill on some free ass coffee
What's the bathroom code? You won't believe what we're about to do to the walls of this place if you don't hurry
I don't understand bathroom code no
It's it's like I think it's keep homeless people out. Yeah, that's that's that's what right
That's what it is. Would they not give it to them?
No, they have to buy something.
No, you don't.
Sometimes you don't, though.
I think now you do.
I've gotten a bathroom code.
They're changing their policy.
I'm not just a Starbucks.
Not just a Starbucks.
That is true.
I'm not just a Starbucks.
I'm bathroom coding in general.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The number of times I've had to ask for a bathroom code, and they go, oh, here it is.
And I went, if you're just going to give it to me, what purpose does it serve? But here's the thing I think you look like you so they don't like it to you
You know I don't give it to scrawny. You know what that's called Mike privilege. That's it
This Jersey this Jersey Mike needs his Jersey
Yeah, did legs today
Imagine if these were my legs
My legs have you seen there's a guy on tik guy on TikTok that I was seeing for a while.
Legman?
Yeah.
Every day he would crawl on all fours to see like what it did to his body.
What did it do to his body?
Was it you?
Was it you?
It made his arms so big like legs.
Well that's how legs work.
It's crazy.
How come my cats ain't ripped?
It looks like his fingers spread out further and his arms are, it looks like a leg is attached
to the shoulder.
Also, what are the odds that guy's full of shit?
It just works out of fuck time.
I hope it's that.
I'm doing leg arm man.
That guy's real.
He does that for 30 seconds and then he lifts weights for six hours.
The guy who wakes up at 3.30 and takes off his mouth tape and goes to stand outside in the dark
I don't get how mouth tape works, and it's scary. I have mouth tape. Do you really do you use it?
I have used it. I don't think it does shit
No, but I'm more bought it cuz it's cool. It's it's mouth. It looks like you're getting kidnapped. That's why I bought it
They call it hostage. That's the kind of guy. Have you not seen this this guys if this would shock you I thought it was funny
So I bought it. I think I used one strip. It's like a bag of 50 or like a hundred
Did you sleep?
Or did you just put it on go? This is silly. Well, I mean, I think it's on my house
I'll bring it next. I'll bring it to the stream. Let's mouth tape the next podcast brands of the stream
Let me see. Let me see it. Yeah, that's what it is. It's on my house. I'll bring it next. I'll bring it to the stream. Let's mouth tape the next podcast I'll bring it to the stream. Let me see. Let me see it
Yeah, that's what it is. It's for sleeping. I have that it's so you don't like breathe
It promotes
Decreases snoring it decreases storing but it's also so you don't like what injured stuff They also sell the nose tape too, and it's also black help with grinding. I have both of those
I don't think so because those actually because you still have access to your teeth.
Those are actually useful.
Yeah, but it's harder to...
Yeah, I mean...
What?
You still have access to your teeth.
You do!
Do they have mouth tape for teeth?
You're looking for teeth tape.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a backseat idea.
Tape them.
Nick and I have been really on the same page today.
It's true.
You guys have been finishing each other's jersey.
We said something the exact same time.
In the ride along. I don't remember what it was.
But we said it in the exact same time.
It was very cool.
That was the classic backseat, boys.
Jordan was stuck up there with a dead weight.
I hate riding with the Uber driver.
Someone asked you, dude.
In March of this year...
That's now.
By the time this is out, this is last month.
Starbucks was ordered to pay $50 million to a delivery driver.
What? To one person?
To a delivery driver who was severely burned by an improperly secured lid on hot beverages.
Oh, actually, I actually saw this.
Michael Garcia suffered severe burns, disfigurement, and debilitating nerve damage to his genitals
after the hot drinks spilled in his lap.
Usually you only get this kind of treatment out of Colorado Arby's,
but it's nice to see that genital mutilation is going mobile.
Good thing we all have two dicks, right?
I actually saw this.
You know, I like to send just like the headlines of things.
I saw it and didn't send it.
The thumbnail, I'm assuming it was the actual actual video is like a woman handing the guy the drink
I don't know if this is the actual footage or just like a stock image
But it was like the drink holder and there was two cups and then the third one was like
Because there was arrows it was like secured secured not secure
So it went all over his cock and balls and fucking burned them all up.
But fifty million dollars? Yep. Yep. That's pretty good. How much of that are these guys gonna get?
That's more than the class action suit where everyone got fifty cents.
They only got like half a million and everyone got fifty cents. Fifty million dollars?
Uh, I think that's crazy. I was gonna send that article and go burn Nick's dick.
That's I just didn't do it. That was the joke that I was gonna make in here is that I gotta make the other day
Yeah, like three days ago or something. We gotta melt this monkey's dick off and get 50 million. Dude monkey mutilation
That is a million dollars
Split four ways for your dick. Well five ways. Yeah. Yeah for the monkey
They are two people. Yeah
the I Or the monkey. They are two people, yeah. I think that like the 50 million is because this is,
it's happened before and it's such a like,
you fucking know not to do this.
Oh, so they're like sending a message
to this guy's bank account.
That's awesome.
I hope you learned.
You could buy so many new dicks with that.
I also, yeah, he's gonna replace the one
with a second steel one that's like, it's always hard, you'll probably just replace it and have one steel one. Oh, you think he's going for two dicks
I would want cuz why would I like a steel? Well, but it's not regular. It's mutilated. No you fix that one
Oh, so you think fixed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, it's like when you like, you know you renovate and you add on to it. Yeah, I see I built a porch yeah
Back it's a shelf it has
I built the study
Hidden behind the secret book
You gotta push a button
It's my belly button I like this last back yeah hit it one. Yep. The final fact and maybe the only interesting one.
Pedro Pascal was recently interviewed about his Starbucks order where he claimed that order- that orders.
Oh fuck that. He orders. Wow. Where he claimed that orders and iced- it doesn't make sense Nick, thank you, and iced quad
espresso with extra ice and six shots of espresso.
That's 450 milligrams of caffeine.
The Panera Lemonade that kills you topped out at 390 milligrams of caffeine.
Someone needs to check on this guy.
In the interview, Pascal said, you sip it, you get really high and you answer emails
and stuff. Oh, nevermind, this guy is cool as hell.
Dude, hell yeah.
He is Joel.
That is-
He was in Gladiator 2.
That's so-
He does look like me, some people say.
That's so much bad.
Some people, do you think people can look at you
and go, you look like Michael Jones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People say that.
But also, pleasure to meet you, Peter.
If you see Pedro Pascal, say that to him. Thank you. Well, that's why I have to keep my hair blonde. Yeah, there's no confusion. Um
That's so much bad coffee
Yeah, why why from star like why are you getting six terrible pulls of espresso?
Who cares he do anyone how much he's a good-looking guy. How much do you think is in these guys?
What do you want? He's a good-looking guy. How much caffeine do you think is in these guys?
Four. Four? Like nothing. There's like nothing in these. He's admitted it wasn't coffee. You're right. Yeah, this is just terrible. It's okay
Sorry, we just don't have space here. I know
There's enough top space. There's not enough bottom. Yeah, the bottom space is really where we start touching. It's when we start kicking and I didn't kick
Not yet. No, I'm usually the one it kicks because you two take up all the space mostly him I'm off to the side I'm good well you're whoa you help with
your tiny little legs that would bother me less because I'm all tucked in yeah
you're all tucked in he's stretched out as far as he can go why Jordan has to
start doing leg day keep those legs legs in. What are you doing?
Come on.
What?
Why would you keep them in if you do leg day?
I don't understand the correlation though.
Cause they're so powerful.
See how they're tucked right now for you?
They're so powerful, you have to keep them like loaded.
Lock them loaded, keep them back.
Too dangerous to keep them all spread out.
I accept that explanation.
Well done. Boop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The worst is that when we get through all of it and then he goes I agree and it's I Was saying something in the car and he went no, yeah
He realized that she actually likes your implication, right?
But you know who didn't like it, you know didn't like it was Eric
I was like screaming let's get a crash. Oh, oh, he started screaming and sort of swerving like this
Yeah, I already knew that I was right,
but like knowing figured it out.
It's like a hundred times brighter.
Like I just blitzed over at it.
It's like the sun beaming.
Like it actually makes me angry that it was even questioned.
Like, I don't know about that.
I do think we went one brighter
cause this is what it usually is.
No, no, no, it was that.
There's just three.
It's just like nothing that and then that.
But so this is what it was at.
Okay. No, yeah, that was what it was. This is what it usually yeah, which is so much brighter
Yeah, you're right. I was looking at you and I looked over at that and then it kind of pissed me off that it was
Even being questioned because we look at it every time it's like I don't think it's brighter and I'm like I either it's brighter
I need to go to the hospital
It's like so much brighter. It's like from like a three to an eight 450 milligrams of capital
Everything's brighter. Maybe I will become major Pascal if I get
You want to try to do it? Yes, I do actually but also with Starbucks needs to do since they are the McDonald's
I was thinking this earlier. They gotta start doing like just get the Pedro drink do oh shit
Yeah, just do the shit where you don't make honestly
Yeah, and you just put a thing up and you go, This guy gets this!
That's something they should lean into.
That's so much better than McDonald's doing it.
Especially than any woman, because it's Starbucks!
You can just, every person's order is ass-holy uncomplicated.
That actually makes sense!
Even Pasta Pete has a drink order.
I could conceivably hear something that I like and someone gets it that way.
I still won't order it because I'm I'm not asking for all that mm-hmm
I'm not gonna go up there and give them nine minutes of directions. Yep. I would go give me a patron Pascal drink
I don't need to do that McDonald's, but it's like well. It's a quarter pounder
Yes, you just added barbecue sauce to it, and you got an orange Fanta. Yes, I can order that myself
I don't need to be like yo can I get the Donnie McChesmose?
Chesmo's
Can I get the Donnie McChismos? McChismos.
He's a singer slash sports player, probably, slash influencer.
I want it that way.
This makes sense.
Give me the Pedro High Sip.
The fucking high sip.
You sip it, you get really hot.
Isn't that awesome?
I got some emails to answer.
That rocks.
It kind of flew under the radar,
but Taco Bell was talking about at their
horrible presentation
Doing the
The thing where you can customize
Orders and stuff and then like easily share those yeah
As the as the Eric Badoor meal yeah or like yeah
That was one of the highlights actually yeah
I said that on the stream.
Because we could start doing that.
I think we will.
Because also just for me doing it myself,
you can't create an order.
You have to customize everything.
It takes forever.
So you gotta go in and like swap or replace.
If you could have like a build your own,
what do you want?
It would be so much faster sometimes.
Like there's no pick quesadilla.
What do you want?
Like any normal restaurant has, they just don't have it.
Their revolutionary thing is a normal app.
It's like Chipotle.
If you order Chipotle, it's like you pick this,
what do you want in it?
Then you put it, Taco Bell's like,
we're gonna blow your nips off.
You get to order what you want.
Might change everything after it's in your cart.
Exactly.
And it's incredibly inconvenient.
I love the idea of Starbucks jumping on the celebrity trend.
Let them know.
Yeah, they definitely should have.
I think that's such a good...
I didn't even...
I saw that.
You can be the new CEO.
I hear this guy's probably not doing so hot, you know?
Maybe you're next to mine.
He's trying.
They said, here's...
I'll see how much he lifts on leg day.
Here's unlimited...
If I lift more, I become the new CEO.
Here's unlimited refill coffee at Starbucks.
That's fucking nuts. Yeah. And also, they're giving that away for free. Yeah. If I lift more, I become the new CEO. Here's unlimited refill coffee at Starbucks.
That's fucking nuts.
Yeah, and also they're giving that away for free.
Yeah.
And so again, how does it make the money?
I don't get it.
How does people hanging around their store
make the money?
I know you're coffee guy,
but you're also not Starbucks coffee guy.
No, fuck no.
No, no, no.
Who's drinking more than one cup of Starbucks coffee?
I don't know.
Right? I don't know.
I can't drink, I drink two, well,
I'm fighting to finish this do and a half of
These drinks, and I'm like I'm feeling it because I had coffee this morning, and that's too much for me. Yeah, I get it
I'm gonna start answering emails. He hears you Starbucks. Yeah, no
Starbucks coffee is just like why would you want to get more of it?
Especially if it's refills on regular coffee.
It's regular coffee.
You're not getting a refill on like whatever shaken oat espresso thing that you want to order.
That's not what they give you a refill of.
It's just their black coffee.
It's just their coffee.
And so it's like, oh, you don't want that.
Buy local, but that is what you want.
No, I don't. Not there.
Buy local, but also from the right local places.
Definitely.
Buy local from Starbucks.
Jordan, go to your local Walmart. Jordan, do you want to learn about the food we got sort of?
Ice lavender cream oat milk matcha a smooth combination of matcha green tea and oat milk finished with lavender cream
Cold foam with subtle floral notes includes dairy so what?
so
It's the fries all over again.
So the, you're not done.
You're gonna need that.
Yeah, it's fine.
So I didn't even crinkle it up a ripping in half.
The lavender, the lavender is in the cold foam
for the matcha.
And the cold foam is the, it is.
The goop on top.
Yeah, that's when you're like like mine got dressing that was the lavender
Lavender's white marshmallow foam. I guess so that's certainly what I'm gonna taste it like it looked like jet puffed
Marshmallow cream they look like fucking
Topping of a side salad and fall fucked up ice lavender oat milk latte Starbucks registered mark
Blonde espresso and oat milk with subtle floral accents served over ice
Is that I know it's is that is that how you would describe that subtle as this one? Yeah
Very thick accents. Oh, yeah slinging on backs not a good one
Really hung out there. Yeah, I was waiting for it, like, it really hung out there.
It did.
Yeah, I was waiting for it to come down for a while.
Like a boomerang.
Yep, right back to me.
And the spicy falafel pocket and jalapeno chicken pocket.
Dude, that was so good.
Dude, the falafel one sounds great.
Hand-folded toasted lavash flatbreads
with well-balanced savory fillings like falafel
and spicy herb sauce or chicken,
peppers, and jalapeno cream cheese.
Just chicken.
Yeah, or just chicken.
Yeah.
Yeah, they really folded it up.
It's close.
Now my eyes are watering.
Oh man, they're really watering.
Because the sneeze retreated.
Back into my
And I was trying to escape don't you know all sneezes originate from the eyes
It's gone though. Oh, no
Well, let's let's learn about it. Yeah
Lavender is the perfect flavor to transition us from the winter season into spring
Starbucks beverage developer Penny said in a 2024 Oh Patrick Penny yeah he's a Marvel character it's soft sweetness light
floral notes in beautiful color you ever see a guy get sick from being hungry
beautiful Jordan once you bring your bring your wife on the bouquet?
I saw these and I thought of you.
These grayish sick flowers.
Oh, thank you.
Its soft sweetness, light floral notes and beautiful color ignite feelings of rejuvenation and awakening.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Associated with the change of seasons. The fuck are you talking associated with the change of seasons the fuck are you saying?
If you take out the word Starbucks beverage developer Patrick Penny, I would know what what are you talking about?
Like okay, let me let me just go ahead lavender is the perfect flavor to transition us from the winter season into spring
It's soft sweetness light floral notes and beautiful color ignite feelings of rejuvenation and awakening associated with the change of seasons
Sir this coffee
Sir, this is a Wendy's. What are you talking about? Oh?
My god, um you just don't get it. I don't get it now. You got to be sophisticated
There's also even like you got to be you're not snobbish enough. Oh clearly not
Only when I'm talking about total numbers. Yeah, which is still it's not snobbish enough because most people don't understand
It's not even like way to you and go like how many plates and I go yeah, what's your time under tension?
What are you talking about? What does that mean? I was hanging out with Joe Rodanas the other day
I don't know who that is. Yeah, you would. Joe from Achieving 100?
Yeah, I already moved. I'm trying to be snobby, but it's not working. People don't know
Even if you know how a lot of times they bullshit in the press material
Yeah, they're like that's not true. There's actually none of that. Innovation or whatever. This is just what are you saying?
They're just talking about one ingredient. They use this
Something you'd write in literature. Yeah. Yeah, you're like this is your teacher. How did you like my poem?
This guy are you saying this guy read a James Joyce poem was like I could do this but with coffee
This guy this guy works for Starbucks and he kind of promo on lavender
I treat it like what the fuck put the earth tree in it. Like what the fuck? Put the earth tree in it.
Yeah.
Dude, you're gonna love the taste of Mimix tea.
Only talking about the lavender, not how it does anything with the coffee or the matcha
or anything.
Just going-
No, but think about lavender as a concept.
But then after that last quote he goes, in the coffee though it tastes weird as shit.
You're actually gonna hate this stuff.
It's fucking weird, dude.
It's like crazy.
You're gonna have it, you're gonna go, what the gonna go it's white foam in one drink and gray in another shit's fun. We don't know why
Shit's fucked you should try having that old milkshake. Yep. Enjoy
Well, we have a review of Starbucks, but we hear it is in a segment we call you review
Who wants to go first?
Me, okay jordan
This is from malina h
That's a boss in the elden ring, isn't it? I don't know. I only know I only
I honestly don't know. Uh, I know urtree. That's it and and dung eater. Yeah
Uh literally the worst starbucks i've been to to in Austin and she's been all of them
Had an incident where I went in and the worker tossed a chocolate croissant at me because she was busy. You're welcome
What I came in one more time only because it's two minutes from my job only filled the cup a little under halfway
I then called to speak to a manager and she accused me of lying who are they hiring here?
It's ridiculous at this point. What does that mean? Did she can finish the thought?
I need I filled up a cup under halfway then I called to speak to the manager
What does that mean someone whipped a chocolate croissant at me? so I went back for different stuff later.
What the fuck?
Also, it sounds like you got a free chocolate croissant.
Yeah!
That's awesome.
Sorry, we're busy.
Here you go.
She didn't mention if she paid for it or not.
So I don't know if that means you paid for it and they whipped it, or you just walked
in and you're like, ah!
This just started pelting people.
I'm sorry, did you ever get pissed off about people shooting free t-shirts into a crowd?
I'm mad! I went to the heat about people shooting free t-shirts into a crowd? I'm mad
I went to the heat game and there were t-shirts flying everywhere. I called the manager and they said I was lying
Like did she forget a sentence, uh, that's the whole thing only no cup a little under halfway
I then called to speak to a manager. She gives me a line. There's a lot of space in between
There's something I feel like yeah. Yeah, yeah, well the same thing with me. I literally just walk in minding my own business wham
In the face with a chocolate croissant. I knew it was chocolate. It got all over me
Starbucks in Austin the worst it damn
Was that the one we went to?
Yeah, okay, cuz I know we were gonna try to go to the other one to get the food that we still didn't get.
Uh-huh.
But we didn't.
Nope.
All right.
Marilyn, why?
Why, indeed.
There is nothing wrong with the coffee.
I agree that they always seem understaffed, and thus, it is often slow.
I feel very sorry for the people who work there, because the place smells like body odor, in a big way.
I think it was the guy sleeping in the chair near me
I happen to be in that area the next day and stopped in same smell don't know if it was the same guy
That's the whole review
This one kind of read like the best material
Get started me so I went in the next day dude. I went in. Get started me. So I went in the next day.
Dude, I went in. Coffee's fine. It smelled like
fucking shit.
It was this guy. Went in the next day. Still smelled.
I don't know if it was the same guy.
I'll let you know when I come back tomorrow.
Same guy? Maybe it's just that chair.
Same smell. Don't know if it was
the same guy. Like that's
funny writing. This is funny.
Same smell. different guy?
But also like, did you not look at the guy?
You know, like I could see if it was like,
the guy wasn't there anymore or whatever,
but like it's so articulate.
It's like, no idea if it was the same guy.
I think by this time, you know, the second time it's like,
well now I gotta know.
Like now I gotta know if it's the same guy.
I'm gonna come back tomorrow. If it's that same guy. I know is probably the same guy at the first time because I wasn't paying attention
I just smelled don't know if it was this I walked in with my eyes closed to see if the guy was there
Yeah, but they were like I think it was the guy sleeping in the chair near me
So sure he clocked the guy right if you clock sleeping guy in chair next to you
How do you not know if it's the next?
and the same guy in chair next to you, how do you not know if it's the next guy next to you?
Is the guy next to you or not?
His eyes were closed.
It would be like if we went into the bathroom
at Buffalo Wild Wings and there was a guy on the phone
where we were like, it happened twice.
Not sure if it's the same guy.
We'd know.
I would know that guy's voice.
We would know for sure.
And you would know to watch out for the sink.
You'd wanna be sure.
I don't, there's nothing wrong with the coffee.
Fuck, it stinks like shit in this place, so I went back the next day I
Clocked every person in there smells human in here
Think it was the guy sleeping in the chair near me oh
You think he had a ceramic bug yeah, yeah, yeah, he's sticking around. He's on his third cup taking a nap.
He's sleeping through the morning rush.
He's waiting to get some more coffee.
He's having fun.
Every two cups of coffee in the ceramic mug,
one cup of urine out.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yep, mm-hmm.
But then don't get mixed up.
You gotta empty that.
If you don't, but they don't give you the bathroom code.
It's a whole thing.
This is called the circle of life.
Yep, yep.
One more review.
Go ahead, Jordan. Raphael SC. Yeah, he says why are there so many damn flies?
Can anyone see this?
Nobody seems to care. It's disgusting drinks are fine, but who knows how many flies have walked all over the food and drinks
I've been
I've even seen bees inside
I've been
I've even seen bees inside
Even sitting outside you have flies on you just horrible. That's where the flies live. Okay, don't complain about it outside I
Get of like like flies are annoying right? Yeah, but there's at some point only so much you can do right But there's a difference between like oh, there's a fly There's some flies in like oh my god. This place is like so rotting and in yes did
But like then he goes in bees
Bees is not a thing. I know it's like B
Well, but like but like flies is like there's food there could be trash like you can meet bees are just bees
Right like I don't like the bees this place is filthy. It's covered in bees
It's like well, that's a different problem. I'm just like I don't bees are good
Yeah, we like the bees are looking for flowers bees don't show up from trash for lavender. Yeah
shit, yeah, I'm detecting light accents of floral the
Calling gets me actor. There's bees the thing that gets me about this one is why are there so many damn flies?
Can anyone see this?
That one throws me for a loop.
No ma'am, we are reading what you know.
When I'm walking into the Starbucks,
just in the corner of my vision, I see the flies.
When I turn my head quickly, the flies disappear.
Is anyone else seeing this?
Sometimes I see the bees.
What are you talking about?
I use flies, I'm telling you.
And then you sit outside and you're covered in flies.
The flies are all over you. You don't feel them, the flies? I'm telling you and then you sit outside and you're covered in flies the flies are all over you
You don't feel them the flies. I am the Lord of the flies
One point again words like yeah, I don't think I've ever heard anyone disagree with someone saying like flies everywhere
Yeah, no, there's not or I can't see them. Yeah, that makes sense
Where are you selling these flies immediately to your point? No, I'm reading a Yelp review. Yes. I can't see them
Yeah, who are you talking? You're not talking to your friends at the star? Yeah, you're putting this on the internet
No, no one can see the flies dude, dude
No time next time it happens someone goes there's a lot of flies in here. I'm gonna cross my arms ago. I don't see
What lands on you Mike Pence style yeah, I don't see the flies
Yeah, I don't see the flies. We're even seen Yeah, right
Yeah, right. I never seen a bee you walk up to people's our elbow this guy spinning yards about bees in here
Where does it about bees? Where's it end dude this guy people?
There's people all over the place even seen Beeson's
I get like like flies like yeah, you know what flies are to me flies are more annoying
I'm not like oh
I touched my food. Yeah, there's difference between a fly. Yeah, like it's an infestation obviously if it's like oh you need to call the health
Inspector we should shut down or whatever but like I don't want to like eat a fly
I don't want to fly like nearing me like annoying me if I'm eating something and a fly like a sandwich you go like that. Yeah, I don't then go like
Fly stepped on it. It's a fly. Yeah, like I don't
So already flies have walked all over the food and drink but and drinks
Yeah, how's the fly walking on your drink and what are you worried about?
You're pulling a shot of his myself. A fly walked on my drink. If there's a fly eating your drink. Oh, that's gross
But the idea of going I can't drink that anymore.
A fly walked on my drink.
Dude, doing a little tap dance on top of the water.
He gets little floaties on him.
This fly went swimming in my drink! He flinched on the little ladder and climbed out!
Yeah, I was gonna say, if a fly gets in your drink, it ain't coming out.
I appreciate the way this is written.
Because it's trying to get across that this place is disgusting because of all the flies,
but then they don't know how to heighten
to another disgusting bug, so they go,
I even saw a bee.
Oh no, a bee!
The most disgusting of all the bugs!
That could sting you.
Oh, it must smell nice in there.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, they're after the lavender.
Bees come when you have nice things and sugary things.
Get away from my soda, bee.
Get away from my cake, bee be get away from my floral shirt
It's not real. Why is it like you got a piece of shit? Yeah, you gotta be shit over there
You got you got trash. He's don't come over to pieces of shit
This place is full of flies and even one B
Although I think the B is lost
He's all right, we all know bees are the king of flies
Yeah, uh-huh and therefore where the B goes the flies follow We all know bees are the king of flies.
Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh.
And therefore...
Where the bee goes, the flies follow.
Clearly.
Welcome to Starbucks.
We all know that's how it works.
It's dumb.
Even sitting outside, you have flies on you.
Okay, that's just where they are.
That's where flies go.
Sometimes you go outside, there are trees!
Herd trees?
Oh no.
Just horrible.
Well, your reviews are crazy, but
we have our own reviews for what we did here. I didn't see a single fly or bee. I don't
even like, like, did we even do anything? Yeah. Did we eat anything? Yeah, we had the
drinks. Yeah, we ate drinks. I can still taste the Jersey Mike's from like the salami and
the oil and vinegar. Because these are nothing this is everything goes
And but then it's gone and the Jersey mics comes back. I had two hours ago the
Matcha one surprisingly good that was actually good. I thought that one was pleasant. It was just like just subtle enough
It was like a subtle smooth and creamy. Yeah, it wasn't like crazy sugary. It wasn't like squirts
Yeah, we were kind of talking about it in the salad. Sweet. Yep. In the
salads. In the right along like usually matcha things like if it's a matcha powder, I don't really like that. But like that's a good flavor. Yeah. Like I like green tea stuff. I get that. Yeah. So I really like that one. This lavender one, the gray one, the gray man. They're both lavender.
Yeah, but this one somehow is worse.
Oh, this sucks.
This one is like way worse.
This is worse than the Ole Otto.
This one drink to me is worse than the oil coffee.
We'll see about how that fits.
This tasted like, this is awful.
Here's the thing, this still tasted weird.
I don't care if the other one tasted good,
it was oil drink.
It was oil drink.
We drank one. Yeah, but it was trying to help you. Remember it was trying to help you Italy style
It has like an odd taste but it's still like a regular beverage drink
If I remember correctly the idea behind that wasn't even that that's how they did it
It was I should just put it in coffee. Yes, because he's like, wow in Italy they just have like olive oil
Yeah, they'll just drink a shot of olive oil.
That's like part of like the diet when I was there.
So how can I combine this with coffee?
I know.
Horribly.
I'll put it on the coffee.
Right on the top.
Well, you pour it in and then you shake it all up.
And then it's weird.
And then it separates.
It's weird because when you mix oil with water,
you would think they go together.
Right.
Classic phrase.
No, they put the oil on the top.
And then something happens and they just become two things interesting
It's a strange like a milkshake. No. I even saw I do very different. I even saw me one time
In Italy yeah explain that holy shit dirty country dude Italy just horrible
Just horrible the King be taking his flies around Italy
Just horrible the King be taking his flies around Italy
Yeah, then the food was fine. Yeah, it was okay. I mean, it's just like a little freezer thing they put in the oven
Yeah, I didn't really like it. It was fine. I've had better ones there
Yeah, some of their stuff like the the have like a bad a breakfast sandwich There's that usually they also have a like egg and mozzarella like pesto. Yeah thing for breakfast. That's better pretty much everything
I've had is better
We got eight of them. We got eight of them
The worst thing I can say about it is that it tastes like it belongs at Starbucks it dude
Yeah food wise you know yeah some of the other things don't
The nicer ones where it's like well well this tastes like this is like real food
Yeah, and the other most things are like the cake pops and like most of most of like the treats there
Yeah, or like this is just like a worst version of the thing you usually get
Yeah, either at that you make at home or from I don't know Disneyland like places that sell stuff
You know at home or Disneyland the two spots
Did you get this from at home or at
Disneyland? I got this from my kid. Oh, so Disneyland. That falls under.
So that falls, so if it didn't come from your house it came from Disneyland. That
knows best. Oh, it did get brighter.
So, so what do you think Jordan, the Starbucks Spring? The thing on the hole
between all three of these things and also not getting one of the things
I think Starbucks' struggles are going to continue for a little bit
I don't see them turning around with anything we had here today
I'm hitting this with a 41%
41%
Pretty disappointing
That is slightly higher than the Al Jato
Michael, what do you think?
What do you mean? What score did you get? He said it was bad Yeah Said I didn't want to That is slightly higher than the Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al-Al- Wow, yeah, yeah 80
Hey, I don't think it's really I don't think it's 40 level I'm gonna be honest and I'm glad that you know my backseat boy was on the same page as me
I'm gonna give it a 37 percent seven percent
38.5 percent 39 it's better than all the other. Oh, we did it
It's is better than all the other. Oh, we did it. It's Better than yeah 100% score rating, but you know we didn't try like two of the drinks
And then we didn't get the other food. I bet I had Jersey Mike's I really yeah that food
I bet that refresher was pretty good. I was talking about how like we get that
I you told me to hack down the
Drinks flowers don't tell you to you said hack what I hacked flowers don't belong in drinks
Right after you see flowers do not belong in not eyes. I don't I don't like rose water. I don't like
Lavender drink yeah hibiscus is the only you're cool. I think hibiscus is pretty good guy um
Maybe lavender works lavender or rose might work in tea
Hmm, maybe I was too harsh on it.
Wow.
But then you got bees coming after you.
Make that shirt out of that.
It's pretty cool.
You got things to say?
You can make a shirt for flies
and then be distressed flies.
Here's a fun idea for a group Halloween costume.
The leader of the group dresses up like a bee.
And everyone else is flies.
And then we just go, what's your last one? What do you dresses up like a bee and everyone else
Like from nature one guy's gotta be Raphaela going
Can you see him at a Starbucks someone is the bee inside someone else is the is the fly inside, someone is the fly outside. Flies and single bee.
I even saw a bee.
Yup.
You wanna grab some merch?
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yeah what's up I just remembered what's um, you know, I was talking yesterday last week podcast yesterday real time
Mike's not honey went to Jersey Mike's Mike's not honey. No way they got there to everywhere
Did you just get it on any sandwich? They just have it
They're like it's like a whole thing on the board like it's a Mike's hot honey. I'm like this fucking guy this how
Talk about weird food trends. It's everywhere. What's weird specifically is that it's just Mike's hot honey. I'm like this fucking guy this how about weird food trends. It's everywhere
What's weird specifically is that it's just Mike's hot honey. Yeah, like it is
Yeah, yeah after after I try it's not honey. It's Jersey Mike's and I Mike from Jersey. I did
Mike's jersey Mike make your own hot Mike's needs is Jersey Mike had his Jersey Mike's with Mike's hot honey Jersey Mike had his jersey mics with Mike's hot honey
Jersey Mike jersey Mike with Mike's hot honey with Mike's on where's he from? I?
Think he's from Tennessee. Yeah, probably
Yeah, yeah, you should get get gone dude, that's I can't believe it's why it's not after finally having it
Not that good. No, I mean like it's fine
It's just so much. It's so sweet honey's gonna go down is like remember when we used to do that
We did it once though. I would I'd prefer just having Frank's red hot. Yep, honestly
You know that is something again. I think was weird everywhere for a long time, but at least it's just hot sauce
Yeah, it's hot honey is strange. Yeah. Anyway, don't forget to rate and subscribe
Don't you?
And tell your friends about the show where we eat food and rate the food.
Hey, don't forget to come to the stream on Friday.
That was weeks ago at this point.
No, it's in two days.
By the time this is out.
We'll see you there.
What? No.
We'll see you there.
No.
Thanks. Thanks for coming.
Hell yeah, dude. The real March madness Happy March. Hell yeah, dude.
The real March madness. Bring your guag knots.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha