100% Eat - Wendy's Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Wendy's Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about being in the studio together again (within striking distance), salt taking over Michael, and banana ketchup. Sponsored by DoorDash (download DoorDash app + FACEJAM2021) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam14 and use code facejam14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Like playing through a car speaker. It's not cutting out. It's not playing through one of those wireless Bluetooths you take to the pool. Get the ones that you can get wet, though. They usually have a cap you can screw on the back. If you don't have the cap on and it falls in the water, it's not waterproof. This is Face Jam. Welcome. It's the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. Guess what, motherfucker?

You probably do. stop playing the music Okay, now that's on you Thanks to door dash and hellofresh for making this show possible. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host literally alongside In the same room Jordan swears Jordan. How are you? Oh? Michael Michael Michael i can see you also halfway through that your apple watch started

siri has just been listening to everything you're saying look i'm i mean it's everyone's already listening jordan we're recording a podcast i don't mind that siri knows sorry i couldn't find anything on the internet for Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try everything. Yeah, I look back and the word that stopped that was motherfucker. What distracted me more was Nick fumbling around playing the intro again, but not in her headphones. It was like on his phone or something. Yeah, he's not in his. It's weird how we went from, sorry guys, I don't have the intro again, to now I have too much intro. Weird how we went from, sorry guys, I don't have the intro again, to now I have too much intro.

I'm telling you, sitting in the room and having him play it through a computer and wearing the headphones that the computer is pushing the music to, there's so many more instruments I haven't heard in about a year plus. I was like, is this a different song? There's like a whole orchestra, it turns out. Yeah, dude. Wow, incredible stuff. It's true. It's real. We are back in a building. Is it 2019 all over again?

It's air conditioned. We're not in our cars. I didn't have to bring it. Well, okay. Had to bring headphones. Let's clean that up. It's BYOH this week. But other than that, it's also we're eating and reviewing the bourbon bacon cheeseburger

from Wendy's. Whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean? We might not even get to it. Who gives a shit about that? I don't care. It's our time.

It's not their time. Okay? Wendy's had their time. They had the pub sandwich. Best thing ever created. Right. How many times have we done Wendy's? This is the third time, right?

Second. This is the second time. Didn't we do a second Wendy's? We talked about doing the jalapeno one, but we didn't. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

That's all I need. Okay. I'm not actually basing this off any factual information. We talked about. I was just like, let me dig deeper. Are you sure? You passed the lie detector test. We talked about doing the jalapeno popper chicken sandwich, but then instead of doing

it, we did other food, and then you and you and I I think just got it a bunch of times that sounds like you guys it makes sense it's playing in my mind I've eaten that thing so many times I've had that a half dozen times at least I mean at least oh I'm talking about the pretzel pub oh no I'm talking about that

clearly you're talking about something else because if you said half a dozen I'd come over there and strike you I have enough text messages from you that it's gotta be at least in the 20s or 30s and I assume there's many times you go and don't send me a picture it would happen where

we would get it and then I would text it to Michael and then he would go get it or the inverse would happen where he texts me and I just go, shit, I want to go to Wendy's now. You guys are like influencers just for each other. We really are. Hey, it's a circle.

We've closed the circle. We're like electricity, baby. We're like two Ouroboroses eating each other. Oh, I thought it would just be one. No, I guess I'm the mouth. I think it would just be one. I'm the mouth. I think in this situation we're both the mouth. You're the tail.

Gobbling you up. I don't know which one is the clone. I'm always gobbling and you're always getting gobbled. No, I just said we're two. I know and I ignored that. And I went back into what I wanted to think of. And it was me gobbling you up.

And you going, I love it. As host, Michael does set the canon. It's true. You are the one getting gobbled. I feel like you're agreeing. He's getting gobbled. I agree with Michael. You're the gobbled.

He's the gobbler. Right. I'm the gobbler. You're the gobbly. This is going to be one of those King of B king of bugs conversations man this is a weird one oh man we saw we saw a grackle outside that was expecting some food just talked about it a couple episodes ago they're done for yeah oh they're like it was like they like saw it saw the four of us it was like oh finally and kind of like hopped over to us because because they don't fly and i was like oh no we should like drop a fry or something was talking about like making a trip to like give them food it's like no i think we're just gonna go inside

and eat i'm telling you we're gonna start finding dead burras in the parking lot yep it's only a matter of time just starved they're so amazing all these all these crackles are emaciated they're gonna be they're gonna be skinny fat though yeah oh definitely you know what i mean oh yeah because they're gonna be have been plumped up from the gratuitous amounts of fast food and then their system's gonna go into a shock almost uh withdrawal of if you will, for the lack of fast food. Several of them are probably going to die of heart disease. High cholesterol. Diabetes.

You put that fucking tropical berry drink out in the parking lot. Oh, no. You find sometimes you're outside, you get bugs in your cup of water and they're dead. You're going to find six dead crackles in that Wendy's cup

because they're going to dive in there, drink that fucking thing, and their fucking bodies are going to explode. It's going to be crazy. We're going to see a grackle that lost its foot to diabetes. Grackle in a rascal scooter. Just getting around. That would just show the sheer amount of intelligence

if you're smart to go, I got to lose the leg. Take it off. Dr. Grackle, what's my prognosis? Too much Wendy. Squawk, squawk. Here's the sad part. I don't care about the dead Grackles. I just hope this doesn't interfere with their

podcast. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I would hate to see it get canceled. They're gonna have to do a whole spittin' silly episode. It's fucked up. There's like no food showed it get canceled. They're going to have to do a whole spitting silly episode. There's like no food showed up this week. I don't know what to do. Well, that's it. We said that we're back in studio and it's nice

to be back in studio because no food got blown off my car or onto my car. I said my car. Your car I missed that. It's funny when it happens to Eric's car. It's not funny when it happens to my car. Well, I like that I said my car. Your car, I missed that. It's funny when it happens to my car. It's not funny when it happens to my car. No. Nope.

It is. It's also, I'm eating a fry. It was funny like when he was, Jordan, I'm pointing at Jordan, was demanding a Frosty and he better not get a Frosty Chino. Then he went to the bathroom and I went, I'll order a Frosty Chino for this guy. It was like a conversation the whole way there and back. The whole way.

And I just kept going, oh, that's my Frosty. And he goes, if there's one Frosty and one Frosty Chino, I get the Frosty. And I kept going, well, I get the Frosty. And then we got one Frosty. And it was... I think when we were pulling up, there was a sign that said

Frosty Chino, get one today. And Eric's like, oh, that's interesting. Eric kept going, what's that? What's that sign? Immediately, I just went, if there's Frosty Chino in there, I'm not eating it. You were so pissed. I was like putting my foot down. I was like, I know what you guys are going to try to do.

It's not going to happen. I've never seen someone drive with their arms crossed the whole time. Thank God for autopilot. It's funny too because you placed the mobile order. So he just pulled up and said order for Eric and they're like okay cool can you pull up and wait? And they gave him the receipt and he immediately was like

what the fuck is this at the bottom? Oh interesting. A drink for Michael? But that's part of the segment later where we go to get the food. Because I wrote, we went together. Because it was nice. Yeah, we did.

Whoa, you wrote that before we did it? Yep. How did you know? Because that was the plan. I got a scam likely calling. Oh, shit. Should I answer it? Yeah, sure.

Tell me to listen to Face Jam. Thank you for calling Face Jam. This is Jordan. How can I help you, shit. Answer it. Yeah, sure. Tell them to listen to Face Jam. Thank you for calling Face Jam. This is Jordan. How can I help you? Can't hear it. Wow. Did you hang up? What happened?

Yeah. They were gone. They didn't want anything to do with it. They thought that was the investigation. They figured Face Jam FBI. It's too close. We might be toast. Damn.

Hey, that was a wild ride, though. They got stage fright. That was pretty exciting. This is the best part of this podcast, probably. You need to be toast. Damn. Hey, that was a wild ride, though. They got stage fright. That was pretty exciting. This is the best part of this podcast, probably. Yeah, so we went and got it. I don't think there was anything too eventful, because we didn't get out of the car. We're not there yet.

No. The mobile order for Wendy's is the reason that I like Wendy's so much. I can decide before I get there, and I don't feel like I'm under the gun to go, Oh, I got to, oh, do I want, oh, like I'm under the gun to go oh I gotta oh do I want oh this but then the drinks you did here's the thing you were ordering it and you said what do you want to drink

and they started telling me the drinks and I went pump the brakes kid I know what they have to drink and you went oh this isn't his first rodeo it's not my first rodeo and then you said oh I'm getting this Rick and Morty thing I said oh what's that I don't know what that is can you tell me more hold on what oh there's something new hang on getting this Rick and Morty thing, I said, oh, what's that? I don't know what that is. Can you tell me more? Hold on, what?

Oh, there's something new? Hang on. Maybe I spoke too soon. Not as smart as I thought I was. And then I was like, well, let me get one of those. So they have a new promotion right now because they did a Wendy's Rick and Morty pop-up for the new season. And you can go to store.roosterteeth.com and buy that's the company we work for. And you can check out the Rick and Morty merch there. But they did a Rick and Mort can go to store.roosterteeth.com and buy uh that's the company we work

for and uh you can check out the rick and morty merch there but they did a rick and morty wendy's thing we make rick and morty that's yeah we make rick and morty uh wendy's did a promotion where they changed wendy's to morty's and then they did these special drinks there's two they didn't have either they didn't they we we ordered on the mobile app and she brought us our food and she went we don't have this we don't have and she went, we don't have this. We don't have whatever this is. Okay. We don't have drinking Mortys or whatever.

Drinking Mortys. Yeah. She said it. She started slurring when she said it, too. Well, she was drunk. I think she drank all the Mortys herself. And Eric just kept going, I thought this was a Mortys. Sir, this is a Mortys? Yeah. Sir, this is a Morty's?

Sir, this is literally a Wendy's. And then I just went, oh, geez, Rick. That's when the expertise, we got it, the show we made, the expertise came back around when I went,

I got this. Let me get the tropical berry lemonade. And you went, yeah. And then she left. And I was like, I think we're getting that. Because she made it sound like she was only asking for one drink.

Yep. And we definitely had two Mortys. Well, I would have been really clear about what I wanted. Probably just a Dr. Pepper or something easy. Unfortunately, I could not roll down my window because Jordan had the child locks on. And then we started making fun of him. I was like, oh, because of all the kids you have in your car? And he went, no, it's for my cats.

Those dang cats. They were rolling the window down. They were in the car. I was taking him to the vet. They like to roll the window down. Is it still called rolling at this point? Right? Because isn't it? You can roll it because you used to physically roll it. The cats are cranking the window down.

It's like the save icon thing that nobody knows what the floppy disk is. It's true. They're like, what's this square? So I wasn't allowed to roll down the window. I remember living in a time where- Well, I know you got a good drink, so stop complaining. It's true.

I got two. It worked out. I remember living in a time where I wanted the knob because the car that I had and cars that my friends had were so shitty that the automatic windows would always break. Yeah, absolutely. And so while on paper,

it's this future thing, but when you have like a 94 Buick, you go, fuck, I wish I had the knob. And you're just fucking sweating to death in the summer and freezing to death in the winter. If it were analog, it wouldn't break. Right.

Give me some gears and knobs. You know, I stand a chance. I can exert physical prowess. That was digging my car out in the snow where you try and get enough off and then think, I could strong arm this. And then you put your foot on the fucking back door

and you pull and try and open the car door. And so that's what it was like going to Wendy's. Yep. And that was going to Wendy's. There was a lot of yanking. That's how I got into jordan's car i put my foot on the back passenger door he just started yanking yeah he just said it's been snowing and he started pulling he was fucked up damn is this the wedding or whistle segment then is that what we're doing here i don't think so what do you mean no that wasn't wet enough. We talked about drinks.

Stop. Now you can see me do it. He's going to throw up. I'm just drinking it in. And not just the Wendy's, which I did cut. You're a maniac. I'm not drinking anymore. Look how much I, I didn't even say this much I drank because this went into here.

I drank about half of that. It's a death sentence. It's a lot. You need to pour it into a cup and then add water. Yeah. What's it called? The tropical what? They have lemonades.

That's tropical berry. They've also got pineapple mango. It's so pink. They have classic lemonade. And there's one more ugly flavor. I can't remember. It's just so sweet. Strawberry.

It's strawberry. But they couldn't have a Rick or Morty. It was like ridiculous. It was the Jerry Burry She kept going Why Morty? Why the Morty? And then she transformed

Before our very eyes I knew it Gelatinous slug-like creature I knew it Just like Rick and Morty I knew she would do it That's what happens at Morty's That's what it was?

Did you write that episode? It was all part of the pop-up Hey I got a Morty drink. It's a drink for bug kings. Anybody a bug? Really? That seems like it would have been.

If this is how sweet that was, I imagine the Rick and Morty drinks would have been like. What if it was just piss? Do you think the Wendy's was out of piss? I said, what if? Well, you got to make it, right? We're running low on piss. I just went. Three more Rortys.

Let's go. It's like that special coffee that comes from the feces of the... Oh, the cat. Oh, poop coffee. Yeah, in Central America. Yeah. It's like they drink a special thing, and then it goes through their system and comes out as urine, and then that's the drink, and it tastes different.

It comes out as urine. Yeah, as opposed to coffee. Hey, Eric, you're the one who explained how tables work to me today. Yeah, well, you seemed confused by it is why you explained it. Before you got here, I came in and I was like, oh, look, the table is in the middle of the room this time.

And Eric goes, yeah, we're going to sit on each side of it. And then I kept talking and then I stopped and went back and was like, did you just explain how tables work? Look, sometimes we would sit where two would be on one side and one would be off to the other. Never happened. I don't think two ever sat on one side.

Two would sit on one side. He's trying to gaslight us. Nick would be all the way over there. That happened. The only thing that's different and unusual is that I'm looking at Nick. Yeah, he is right there. He's right there the whole time. Also, I don't know if you noticed, this will play into our snack attack later, there was a banana ketchup that somebody sent us.

Obviously, I noticed you tried to force me to eat it. No, I asked if you wanted some. He pulled out a funnel and was like, open up. It was in the middle of the table, but then the recording started, and Nick just went, he keeps moving it further,

and it's in his bag now. I'm like, yeah, you have it. And he's like, great. It stayed there. Then he moved it. And then we started talking about it. Now he's moved it twice since then. Well, you brought it up, so you got scared.

Oh, no, they can see it now. What if they take my sauce? He lamented that he did not bring his truffle ketchup that he bought special. Oh, that's right. That's right. Which is what started this whole banana ketchup thing. Ridiculous. And also, apparently his father-in-law stole his sauce. Oh, God.

That was a whole contentious thing. Now we're wetting our whistles. Yeah, it was just an alarming message to the group out of nowhere. Yeah, it was like 10 o'clock at night. After hours. And it was just like, my father-in-law just stole my sauce. That was it. And I didn't even know how to reply. Yeahlaw just stole my sauce. And that was it. And I didn't even know how to reply.

Yeah, I didn't know how he felt about it. Because my first thought was, does that mean he used some? Right? Like, he just, he's a little bit of kid. Yeah, yeah. Just a drop. And then, like. And Nick's across the table just staring daggers at him.

Nick's across the table staring at him, didn't say anything, picked up his phone, and then messaged us. And then leaned over to his wife and was like, can you get him under control? Yeah, I said he leaned over to me. My house, my rules. And he went, you talk to him or I do. And then we asked him later and we were like, so he used sauce? And he was like, no, no.

We went and got food and there was sauce and everyone was done eating. And then he just thought, oh, I'll take this extra sauce home with me. The sauce was in my pocket. It was like, oh my God. Well, so there goes that marriage. What kind of sauce was it? It was Chick-fil-A sauce. Oh, you can't get that anywhere. The creme de la creme. Liquid gold. What kind of sauce was it? It was Chick-fil-A sauce.

You can't get that anywhere. The creme de la creme. Liquid gold. You can't just buy that at a store now. It's not the point. Who does he think he is? It's the principle of the thing. It's Nick's house.

Oh my God. I mean, smooth sailing until now. It's fucked up. Great. Look what I married into. Oh, no. You just had a kid, too. There's no undoing that. Nick made it sound to imply there might be a way to undo that.

We'll see. Try and stop me. Put it back in. All right. Now I think we're good. Yep. I'm wet. We've wet our whistle.

And hey, I like you added it to the paper. Yep. Yep. I can confirm. Now, for the first time. Yep. In the same room. An indoor haiku.

Jordan's haiku. Wendy's haiku. Number six combo. Zen and taste blend perfection. Dip fries in frosty. Oh. What's the number six combo zen and taste blend perfection dip fries in frosty oh what's the number six spicy chicken sandwich i assume yeah yeah yeah it's the go-to yeah yeah well i live that number 11 life now that's what's up because that's the no looking back the chicken at wendy's is so much better than their hamburger. It's like not even. I agree.

And their hamburger is not bad. No, it's fine. The chicken just. Yeah. Not to spoil the review or anything, but when I took a bite, I was like, man, I wish this was chicken. Well, we were talking about it before they gave us our food. Yeah, we were.

I wish it were chicken. Mike, we were in the fucking car. We kept going, I'm so hungry to eat this. I wish you were chicken. Nick. He's pointing. Nick's fucking excited. I'm so hungry.

I'm so hungry. I can't wait. I'm so hungry. Jordan's like, what if it's bad? And before the words are out of his mouth, it doesn't matter. I'll eat all of it. What if it's bad? I don't give a shit.

And then I was like, well, if it's bad I don't give a shit and then I was like well if it's bad I think that means Nick gets extra food you gonna finish that it was like man I'm gonna regret this

I'm also gonna say so it's just a burger what we got the bourbon bacon cheeseburger and so you can get

a number of patties on it now Jordan and the standard is just a single right bacon cheeseburger. And so you can get a number of patties on it. Now Jordan and the standard is just a single, right? I knowing it was a single and the Wendy's patties, you know, they're not that big. I was like,

Hey, make mine a double. And I reiterated that today. And so we sat there, we finished eating and Nick pointed out that he was like, Oh, that goes as always he goes oh i ate that and i'm actually not like full that was the perfect amount of food because every

fucking single episode i go oh i ate too much i ate too much and he goes that was a perfect amount of food and eric you were like i think what we did was the right move here and i go oh did you get the double two and and you go yeah of course of course I got a double. And Nick goes, did I fuck up? Nick got FOMO because he wasn't full enough. He literally said, did I fuck up? And I went, I mean, you just said you were full. And he goes, I'm a little bit hungry. He like immediately, in two seconds went,

it was a lie, it was a lie. I could have done more. It was a lie. It was a lie. I could have done more. I could have done more. I think the double. God damn.

We can talk about it in the review and everything later, but I think the double on that thing was the way to go. Also, apparently you can just get the sauce that they put on that on anything now. Yeah. So you can make a chicken one. We were talking about making it by ordering the spicy chicken and then just choosing all the ingredients. You call it doing a 21 pilots. Correct.

Yeah. Okay. Let's get on to the Torchy's facts. Wish I could turn back time. Let's get on to the Torchy's facts. Turn on your windshield wipers, piece of shit. Facts about Torchy's? Oh, fuck off.

Listen. I just. 7.30 in the morning. Maybe don't do it at 7.30 in the morning just i just maybe don't do it at 7 30 in the morning man i don't know what am i supposed to do it during the day maybe don't do it the day fuck you i did it today all these answers i just complimented him on wetting our whistle disappointment i i said i said last last last time last episode i said something wetting our whistle will be correct. Something else will be wrong.

Oh, definitely. Our previous Wendy's episode was released September 29th, 2020, where we ate the Wendy's pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger and chicken sandwich. It received an average score of 78.5. That's not a bad score. You guys are always going on about how that's too low. It is too low. It's not a bad score, but it is too low,

and I feel like we'll touch on that in the very next fact. Oh, yeah? Although it only received an average score of 78.5, Face Jam is so influential that the Pretzel Bacon Pub Chicken Sandwich is now a regular menu item at Wendy's. The cheeseburger version is also a regular menu item, but just get the spicy chicken sandwich version and eat it like a hero. Yep. They call that the

hero version. You just need one friend and get them to eat it too and then you Ouroboros yourself. Apparently figure out who's the eater and who's the tail. Gobble up your friend. Yes, the gobbler and the gobbly. I feel like whoever

starts the trend is probably the gobbler. But, you know, just gobble back and forth endlessly. It's the beginning of time. It's the end of time. You're born before Loki, but also he's your dad. Don't question it. It doesn't matter. So it received, I went back and listened to the episode.

It received a 78.5 because Jordan was mad about the Frostichino. Yeah. And then also, you got the spicy version of the chicken sandwich, which Jordan did not get. It sounds like you guys just hamstrung yourself with this. No, I mean, we enjoyed it. It was pretty good. I loved it. Yeah, because-

Well, then I don't want to hear about the score. You gave it a score of, I think, 94, because the cheeseburger version you said was okay, but the spicy chicken version you gave 115. Oh! That sounds like something I'd do. And you're like, so it averages out to, like, 94. Ah, excellent. 115.

Okay, you know what? I'm glad about that, because having... The second this show ends, I delete it from my memory. Yeah. And I never listen to it again. Excellent. Okay, you know what? I'm glad about that because having the second this show ends, I delete it from my memory and I never listen to it again. Right. I only live with regret when I look at the 78.5 and I

knew Jordan disgraced himself with a low score, but I didn't remember I gave it a 115. Now I can sleep a little bit easier. You were like, well, the burger's kind of lower, but the chicken's definitely like 115. So that averages to like, I'll give it a 94 easier. You were like, well, the burger's kind of lower, but the chicken's definitely like 115. So that averages to like, I'll give it a 94. And it was like,

you're giving it 115? That makes sense, though. You, yourself, have chastised me for not rating it high enough. I think I just love the chicken version so much that I wanted the score to be higher, but I understand what the burger version is.

You don't understand him, though. No, no, no. That doesn't make sense. No, that doesn't make any sense. Just a sack filled with hate. Just liquid and hate and goop. We're over here gobbling each other, and this guy's just a fucking sack of hate. I'm definitely a Burger Memorial character. Jordy over here.

He's upset. Oh, jeez. Eric. We got to two facts, and it stopped. Here we go. Before creating the restaurant, Wendy's founder and lady killer, Dave Thomas, dropped out of high school and served in the Korean War. Have you thought about following in Dave's

footsteps? What war can you serve in right now? Still the Iraq 9-11 one? Think about it. You can go drop out of high school if you're listening to this. You can drop out of high school right now and serve in a war and start a restaurant.

What? What's stopping you yeah what's i'm gonna drop out of this podcast and do it he went back he went back and went finished high school later but he started this successful restaurant the number three burger chain in the united states i mean think about it that reminds me of is that the mcmillian's war what is that? Yeah. Yeah, we call it the McMillions War. It was like a thing where we thought it was about... The war was like we thought it was about the McMillions scandal, but then Iraq just had the ketchup fields.

Yeah. And so we went for the ketchup. And he had burgers and mass deliciousness or something. Well, they had the better sesame seeds in their buns. Right. I think that's what happened. Saddam was holding out. He had Park, they had the better sesame seeds in their buns. Right. Yeah. Saddam was holding out. He had park Avenue and it was the one that everyone needed.

Yeah. We had a million boardwalks. Oh dude. Saddam. He was crafty. He was crafty. But Hey, we go ahead.

We, we went and got it. Mission accomplished. We got it. Drop the flag. We got the park place. Saddam's what's he doing now? We found him in that hole.

We found him in that hole with all his monopolies. He had the board unfolded. Just fucking ripped drink cups everywhere. All the tabs gone. There was one in his beard. Do you know how many free ice creams he got before he got

to that park place? I was going to say that fact reminded me of one time Eric and I were going somewhere and we saw a car in front of us with the license plate frame or no, it was a special license plate that said Operation Iraqi

Freedom and Eric jokingly said, oh man, I wish I could get one of those. And I go, you still can. You can right now if you go sign up. Join up. You can still get one. Give it a shot. Oh shit.

Still going on. Yep. So do what Dave Thomas did. Check it out. Wow. You could be, do you think now would they be number four or they'd be the new number three? Ooh.

You know what I mean? Because if they're doing what Dave did. Yep. Who was number three before him? Right. You got to do it. You got to do it and find out. Take down Dave.

It's, well, not too hard nowadays. On a health kick in the 80s, Wendy's added the baked potato to its menu and a salad bar to its stores. Although the baked potato is still available, the salad bar was stopped in 1988, nine years before anyone listening to this podcast was born. Before their grandkids were born. Did you mean 1888?

Oh, another type, like I left the torches as another typo. God damn it. 1888. They just missed the Civil War. They could have dropped out. The Industrial Revolution was right around the corner. The roaring 20s and the Great Depression. Oh, man.

Here we go. The greatest generation. The last fact. Oh, man. Here we go. The greatest generation. The last fact. In 1997, Wendy stopped advertising on The Ellen Show after she came out of the closet.

Do you think they did that again in 2020 to The Ellen Show again, but for different reasons this time or no? I think they. You think it was the same reason? It could, yeah. They remembered that she's gay and was like, well, hold on. Yeah, 2020, there was some Ellen controversy and they said, I told you 23 years ago. We've had enough. Wendy's, it's time to take our last stand.

Wendy's never went back to sponsoring her. And then in 2020, when the controversy came out, they like see we were just we were ahead of the curve called it you're welcome that was a wild ride with the Ellen show right because they went through all that and it was like oh is the show cancelled or like it's on a hiatus and then it was like it is back and then it was like

okay well it's ending though and I just went what the fuck was the point it's back for one more goodbye. Sorry about all that. Anyway, we're back. See ya. I'm only going to torture these people for one more season. Hey, I didn't know.

Yeah. The best. The best. How could I be at fault? I didn't know. Your name's on the fucking thing? Who could see this coming? What is it?

Like, my job to know what's going on? Can we put your name on this show so when shit hits the fan, I'll go to you. Oh, Eric under the bus. No. Let's just put Nick's name on it. That's why he's got to be in the merch shoots and the things that he goes, I'm not a part of this.

I'm not a part of this. Suddenly, I'm not a part of this show. And then front and center. Yep. They asked me. They're like, well, if you have interest, and I think I'll just reply, no, no, you want the stars, not me. Right.

And then they'll say, can you show up with makeup? Can you paint your face like a French fry? They have. I don't think they've replied since I said that. Oh, no, they have. To the this sucks email? Do they agree? No. Well, yes. I think they all agree that this sucks but no we can't put my name on this show you know what's terrible we also couldn't your name's not

michael jordan we are yeah i was just saying we also couldn't put your names on this show well somebody's name has to go on the show that's why it has to be you uh you know what else i've i've thought of which is maybe a bit of a concern, especially with how the show's gone the last year? I have no idea how long we've been going. Oh, I thought about that a couple minutes ago. It could be 20 minutes. It could be 40 minutes.

It could be an hour. I don't know what that means. Just fucking say it. You can talk. Oh, 30. He's doing fucking hand signs over here. You've been talking the whole time. We ask you a question, you say it,

and now what time is it? I think he wants you to throw a curveball. You want me to steal seconds? Oh, man. All right, I started another timer. I'm so comfortable in here. I'm kicking my feet. You can't see.

I'm kicking. I'm stretching. But here's the thing. Okay, all right. I like it. It was a scream of joy, of adulation. He's like running around the room. But here's the thing.

Well, I'd have to go around the table. The one where we're on each side of it? Yeah. See, I caught the second part of that, which I don't think you got to, which is I didn't see that first part where he explained to you what a table was. But I'm sitting in a spot where you kind of have to walk past me. And I was, I don't think I was sitting yet, but I was standing here. And you were like, I have to get by.

And I was like, yeah, I know. And then Eric, you said something. And then there was a comment about how tables work. And I thought, what a mean guy. You should put his name on the podcast. Little did I know there was backstory. And so it actually escalated from a mean guy to what a tyrant. Very cool.

Great. Yeah. Despot. Anyway, speaking of tyrannical reigns. Yeah. Our next episode. Tricaris. Okay.

Our next episode. Dracarys. Okay. Our next episode. Nick went. And he moved his hands sideways. The monkey, the monkey is the dragon. We unleash him. Michael, tamer of monkeys. Breaker of jams Killer of tyrants

The next episode is the RTX episode So our next episode won't be in this room Where is it going to be? In the studio I don't give a shit Yeah, but you were just talking about how much you like being in this room It's still not in our car The vibe's going to be off

I'm going to keep eating these french fries You're really getting at them Well, they're sitting there taunting me, mocking me with their existence The vibe's going to be off. I'm going to keep eating these french fries. You're really getting at them. Well, they're sitting there taunting me, mocking me with their existence, and I need to snuff them out. All of them. I was worried that being back in the studio, because we've done more in-car episodes than in-studio

car episodes. I was worried that we were going to be back to normal, like tamed. I don't think you have any reason to worry i'm glad that's not the case oh man uh it's cool being back in here just for that stuff. It feels, it's just snappier, right? Like I didn't have a problem with the car episodes. I liked them, but man, what a difference it is just being in like the same room.

It's, it's great. And I'm across from Michael, so I can't get striked, struck. I can, I can jump across the table. No, you have to go around. That's a table. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. you have to go around. That's a table slug.

No, no, no. No, no, no. What's funny is if I recall the struck started referring to the audience. Yes. I want to say

it was Burrito. It was. Where I said you can pronounce it and we had this whole thing and I was just trying to align myself with the lowly people

and I think I pulled it off and you were like sticking your nose up at it and then I ended it with but you might get struck. piece of fry came back oh now they're coming back for you they were mocking you now they're killing you they're striking me from the inside well see another good thing about being together is that in the cars we can't give michael the heimlich maneuver now you can not do it in person yeah now we can just watch you die here.

The last thing you'll see on the ground is us all looking over you going, what do we do? Can we touch him? Don't touch his neck. But, very much naturally through the progression of the show being at home,

the striking has turned inward. Yes. Oh, definitely. I feel that. I mean, even thinking about the van, we were talking about striking. Yeah. Mostly you. You're usually the one that's...

What's wrong with the van? We have a list of complaints about the van. I was just talking about because we were in the same place. You were in striking distance. But it is a piece of shit. How's that fry doing? I think there's a gran piece of shit. All right. How's that fry doing? It's bad. All right.

I think there's a granule of salt. Slowly, it's riding a small drill and it's embedding itself deeper and deeper into my throat. It's like... It's somehow getting worse. Take a drink of your diabetes soda. It's too much. I can't.

I can't drink it. Take a big old drink. I'll just kill myself in a different way. My vision's getting blurred what do we do? the super solstice serum we stand over

and we just wave goodbye we'll be back in the ice we'll be back in the ice we're we're Sony I wanna be with Tony I haven't talked to Tony

in a while I just wanna see what Tony's up to. I'm fine now. I'm waiting. Jordan. All right, Jordan, you want to teach us about what we ate?

All right, so we got ourselves a bourbon bacon cheeseburger. Funny cough. Very funny. These are real half and a half. Okay, a quarter pound of fresh, never frozen beef topped with applewood smoked bacon, American cheese, crispy onions,

and a sweet, smoky bourbon bacon sauce that is essentially a sauce made with real bourbon and real bacon. Read that part about the sauce again, and we'll see you soon. Oh, shit. Hold on. I have to read it again. Is that a threat? Smoky bourbon bacon sauce that is essentially a sauce made with real bourbon and real bacon.

Wow. I was just doing what it told me to do. There's bacon in the sauce? Apparently. Also, why is applewood smoked bacon such a thing? I don't know. People love saying it, and I never care. I don't give a shit what it is. I don't know. People love saying it, and I never care.

I don't give a shit what it is. I don't care because, again— Yeah, the bacon is great. It's applewood. It's a little bit of smoky flavor. But that's the thing. You can do that with, like, any wood. Yeah. Why applewood became the thing?

Do we just have, like, an abundance of, I assume, apple trees that we're chopping down and then like smoking bacon with them i just have no idea i don't know washington do we that's a cherry tree i think do you think he chopped down an apple tree george washington chopped down a bite with his with his wooden teeth his apple wood teeth was he born with them whoa i. I guess I hadn't considered being born with wooden teeth. Did you think he had wooden teeth when he was a kid, you dumb

motherfucker? When he was chopping down that apple tree? Back up. Here comes the wind up. He's coming across the table. I was standing. The way you moved the microphone, you couldn't do that in your car. I was standing. The way you moved the microphone,

you couldn't do that in your car. I could because I was holding it the entire time. Right, but I don't think you could stand up. Oh, I'll fucking, I'll try. Actually, I'll tell you what, I did once. Remember I stood through my sunroof? Oh, yeah. Forgot that. That did happen, yeah.

All right, press material. Quote, following the success of our pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger, not mentioned, but also thanks to Face Jam, and jalapeno popper chicken sandwiches, thanks to Eric and Michael, on the Made to Crave platform. What is that? I have no idea. Is that like a social media app?

I have no idea. It's like Barrow. We wanted to go back to our roots and give our fans more of what they're always craving. A quality, juicy bacon cheeseburger, said Carl Laredo, chief marketing officer for the Wendy's company. Wendy's is always looking ahead to the next big thing, and this burger pays homage to two classic american icons cheeseburgers and bourbon oh i thought i was gonna say apples johnny cherry seed planting all those cherry trees oh johnny what why did you jump over the candlestick that was jack That was Jack. No, he fell in the well.

No. Nope. Nope. Okay. Well. I don't know what to do with this. Why is Humpty be nimble? Humpty be quick.

He fell down and broke his egg dick. Something happened where the salt changed you. The fry's trying to kill you. You gotta do this on the way. He's different. something happened where the salt changed you he's under control of the salt it's controlling him the absorption is complete uh what's with this is another thing that i don't get with like restaurants where they're like and this is made with real bourbon it It's like, yeah, I guess. Is that cool? Are there people that are like all about that? Yeah, I guess.

I don't know. Who cares? Who gives a shit? Who cares what's in it? Who cares where it came from? I don't care. Fuck you. Yeah.

How does it taste? It's kind of all it comes down to. I ordered it through my telephone. I don't fucking care. You didn't have my Rick or Morty drink. So what's the point? Yeah point yeah god I don't know and and if you are that person or or they're thinking of those people going hey people want to know what's in their food and where it's sourced from and this and that do you think Wendy's is where they're going to be scrutinizing this hey look I lean a clean life, clean eating. What's exactly in my Wendy's bourbon cheeseburger?

No. No. Maybe the chicken sandwich, but not the cheeseburger. It's free range. The burger? The chicken? Oh. You couldn't hear the big, big smile on Michael's face.

And you never will. Except probably on the next episode. Oh, yeah. We do RTX. Yeah, because you can watch it live. It's a ticketed thing, so you can go get tickets, right? I don't know. I looked at Nick like he was going to have information.

Here's what you can do, too. You can not get tickets and not watch it. Yeah. That's also an option. Yeah. It's true. But it's not going up. It'll be a regular episode.

We'll release the episode as an option. Yeah. It's true. But it's not going up. It'll be a regular episode. We'll release the episode as an episode, but you just won't be able to see it. Oh, we will? Yeah. It's an episode. We're doing the first ever live episode. Oh. What the fuck?

It's because the salt didn't know that already, and he's catching up. Yeah. You've got to imagine. I was just born in the last five years. Exactly. He is different now. He's sipping on that drink. Yeah, you've got to imagine. I was just born in the last five years. Exactly. He is different now. He's sipping on that drink.

Yeah. Is it sugar-free? Not salty enough. You know the other thing? I've done the entire time, and I've really liked it. I've leaned into it. I noticed it at first. I'm about three inches lower than everyone else.

You are. You're really lower than me. And I'm leaning back constantly. You're down there with the bugs. I'm looking up at everyone. Yes, I'm down here with the bugs in the audience. We all kind of roll around here together on the floor. I'm flying up here with the grackles.

Jordan, I can see the bottom of his chin. He's so high in the clouds. Fuck off. I'm getting a little pain in the back of my neck from looking up at people. But man, I'm just loving it. I'm rocking in my chair. You're having a good time. I'm fucking vibing, in the back of my neck from looking up at people. But man, I'm just loving it. I'm rocking in my chair. You're having a good time.

I'm fucking vibing, man. Yep. That's good. Did we do it? Did we win? Yeah, getting the food, we went together. It was great. We went together.

We did go together. Did you mess up anything else on the back? No, the back's all right. Okay. You're going to go, oh, the snack attack. No, no, that was on purpose because I had it here. Why didn't it say anything? I know.

I'm anticipating. Which snack? It's over in the box over here. We don't it yet let me let me tell you what happened earlier okay i didn't mention your how your tyranny continued when you were talking about the uh banana ketchup whatever the fuck what do you what have you now because he's eaten the entire bottle by the way when we're looking it's now empty uh you're getting that out and you were like hey does anybody want this or or something like that and i said no i'm good i don't want shit and then you said well we're having it and i went oh so that's like the snack like we have to have that that's the snack and he's like no it's not the snack like then why do i have to eat it? You don't have to eat it.

Well, you don't. And I'm like, well, I just said I wasn't. You said, well, we are, which implies we are. We're going to crack it open. It was like, I don't want to do this. You're gonna. Why? You don't have to.

And so I was kind of looking around going, is that the snack or not? I'm confused. It's not the snack. And I was very clear that it was not the snack. I was threatening about it. Okay, here's another question I have. Yeah. I didn't write anything for the snack attack.

Jesus Christ. It's blank, idiot. Can't argue with that. No, I guess you can't go back in time and listen to the part where I explained it. Did you know Beethoven was blind? Couldn't see. Still play the piano, though.

Ray Charles, deaf. Are you still worried that we were going to be normal? He had no sense of taste. I mean, have you listened to his music? Oh, take that. He's listening somewhere. Ryan, he's up there with Big Joe. Up there with Big Joe.

The big man upstairs. Oh my God. How's Joe gonna send us signals when we're indoors now? I'm sure we can still be able to hear it. He just got a lot harder, you know? That's why he got the metal roof. We can hear him rat-a-tapping. It's true.

All right. Let's review this fucking food. Let's do it. What did you think, Jordan? Pretty good. Okay. Good start. Can't wait did you think, Jordan? Pretty good. Okay. Good start. Can't wait to see why he gives it a 22.

Now, here's everything that's wrong with it. Here's why it fucking sucked. Actually, I don't know if it was just the Frosty that I got that made it taste so good. Jesus Christ ridiculous this rating system doesn't make any sense it's a regular ass burger the bacon

fast food bacon is never going to be good so it's always kind of stringy and chewy were there onions on it? they definitely weren't crispy. But the sauce is actually pretty good. Once it like kind of forms with all the other stuff in there and kind of gets stuck to the bun, it kind of reminded me of a McGriddle. Like a used tampon?

Oh, you're saying something different. Go ahead. Hmm. Hmm. I'm just yeah okay uh that's gonna be that moment where people go remember on face jam where michael said this that was fucking weird said what yeah the apple tree thing pretty much everything after that um i don't know it kind of tasted it kind of like tasted mapley and uh it was like a new kind of flavor which i thought was pretty good i don't know why bourbon bacon and uh bun equals maple but whatever i would i would probably eat this again i would especially eat it if um it was chicken yeah i kind of want to like do it with chicken do it chicken we should all get it together and like report back i think it's not a bad idea do a little do a little like how's seven

i'll be hung i'll be hungry two o' now. You guys can be hungry in about 15 minutes. But I can't give it too high of a score because it's definitely not chicken. There's no way I can make it chicken. Right. You definitely shouldn't give it too high of a score. Yeah. I couldn't give it a 115 or anything. That's true. It's not chicken.

No way it could be that high. But I'll give it a i'll give it a 78.5 oh pretty generous what why'd you make that face it's the score that was our average score for the uh pretzel pub chicken sandwich burger this all will work out so by i mean by virtue of what i assumed you're going to score it it, it's automatically going to be higher than the pretzel. It's almost like it's better or something. Who knows? You don't know that.

It was good. Get the double. You know, Wendy's patties, they're not huge. And so I think double is fair. When I think of a double cheeseburger, I think of, oh, like Big Fatso. Yeah. As I say to myself. I don't really get that with Wendy's.

No, not at all. Because they're pretty small. What I also recommend, get the extra sauce. Okay? Did you feel like there was extra sauce on that? Yes. Uh-huh. Because they don't put enough on.

Oh, okay. Maybe that's why I got it. It was all all in the back that's where it coalesced i'm pretty sure what they do salt's trying to fight back again they put like a dollop in the middle and so you get to it and you taste it and go oh and then you're just searching for more. It's a delicious sauce. It's very sweet. Very good sauce. And that's it. It's sweet. Yeah. It really is just sweet. It's tangy.

Maple. It's just maple. It's a fantastic sauce. I'm not usually a gotta have extra, but more is more on this one. More is more anywhere. Sometimes more is shit, though. That's true. Sometimes you go, this sucks already.

But it's still more. Yeah, but more, more, more might be less score. Boom, there's another one. I liked it. Put it on a shirt, Tony. Put it on a shirt. Different Tony. Oh.

Different Tony. We had so many Tony's. We had kids. Fucking sign language. So it was good. It was very good Here's the thing though It wasn't as good as the pub

The chicken pub obviously I'll give it bonus points If it loses points for not being chicken It gains bonus points For the fact that Jordan was mad the whole drive back Because he thought you got him a Frosted Chino. And that was good.

It was very delicious. But it wasn't as good as the chicken sandwich. So I think it's only right I give it a 75. 75. That's an average score of 76.75. Wow. This is good. Almost.

This is good. Almost. Damn. They're in the good. Almost. This is good. Almost. Damn. They're in the ballpark. Oh, my God. It's so close to being the pretzel pub chicken sandwich, but not quite. Could have been a 115 if it was chicken. Really?

I searched online. I went to see if there was any press or anything that was like, oh, it's a chicken version or what. They don't do chicken for this. We will score the 21 Pilots chicken bourbon sandwich from Wendy's DIY. Nick's happy. And I bet it will be higher than both.

Wow. It won't be because it doesn't have a pretzel bun. Yeah, no kidding. Oh, you can get it with a pretzel bun. You can. Just customize the whole thing. Customize it. Let's just get it with a pretzel bun. You can. Customize the whole thing. We full customize it. Let's just get two different sandwiches and rate that.

With all the customization you can do on the apps now, you don't even need a partnership. Yeah, you don't. You just do it. It's just like, hey, here's what you do to get the Face Jam special. You just make the Face Jam burger. Yeah. Exactly. And just tell people how to make telling people yeah that's what the face jam wendy sandwich the problem the problem with that is and they play to their strengths by by doing that for you is people are stupid and lazy yep that's true they want to hit one button

someone will go i want the face jam thing and then someone will say here's the Face Jam thing and then they'll say I don't... What number is it? I did it wrong. Somehow. If there's some sort of... Why didn't you just hand it to me when you were right next to me? Because I didn't think about it. You can go over the table. You reached out. I just don't know if his little arms were going to reach you. He was struggling.

He was all the way down on the floor but I just handed it to him anyway. He was struggling. Dear Face Jam, it was awesome getting to meet all of you during the Ghost Kitchen meet and greet. Eric mentioned liking banana ketchup during the show. Banana. Or the Q&A. So I sent some to you guys.

Since Jordan is a spice mouse, I got you guys a spicy and non-spicy bottle. There's an on the tryout. It's over there. Since Nick enjoyed that engineer hat I sent last time and is a new dad, I'm sticking with the train theme and sending him this train book he can read to his kid.

I'm looking at it now. I think he's going to read it to himself. It looks like it. It's goodnight train. Looks like a real page turner. He's looking at it, but he's pretending. He's mouthing like there's words on the page, and he's pretending like, oh, and I read the whole thing.

He's looking around and nodding. For Snack Attack, I got you guys planters cheese balls again, but this time they're spicy. Hope you enjoy. Looking forward to watching the Art Tech's Face Jam event. Jason M. MV Lone Wolf on the Rooster Teeth site. So I wanted to do- Thank you very much, Jason.

Wanted to do Jason's snack because he did send that hat. He was also the one who sent the snack in when we had the episode, our most downloaded episode, our biggest episode ever. The viral one. The viral episode. The one that people keep going, why did they say it was viral? Was that a joke? I don't get it.

No, because it went viral, baby. That's what happened. It just got more downloads. It was a weird episode, so I wanted to give him a second shot. So he sent Blander's cheese balls blazing hot Bro, the picture at least they are fucking red They're red inside too

They are red as the picture on the can They are fucking filet-man hot I'm going in They smell The first thing is like you bite into it It's like vinegar, vinegar, vinegar Then it starts simmering It smells really vinegary The first thing is like you bite into it. It's like vinegar vinegar vinegar, and then it's heat Then it starts simmering. It's building. It smells really vinegary. It's in the back of my throat hot

Yeah that lingers It lingers a bit on that a water you get hey great timing I Would I would but I'm not gonna yourself on that it for you. Have a little Frosty Chino. I'd rather die. You've eaten a handful of those, man. They're good. They're spicy. I ate one, and that's about all I can handle. Well, the thing about something like that, though, is it doesn't really compound.

You kind of get used to that spice, and you keep eating them, and it lives on that level. So if you eat a bunch, it's going to be that same level. It's not as bad, yeah. You've got to have at least two or three, though, to the entirety of this aftertaste is interesting it's very like that's good corn bready what did he what did he send last time that we ate cheese balls the regular cheese balls that we didn't eat and we're just like we've had cheese balls before no right that's probably because we had to go home yeah right jordan's setup was fucking up yeah i kept turning into a robot or a ghost or something. I don't remember.

He had like six audio recordings or something. That's good. I'm going to give that an 88. Jordan, that's good. I like that. I would buy those. I just, for me personally, I can't. You're a little mouse.

Too spicy. 63. Oof. What are you pointing at? I don't understand. Okay, he's pointing at You're a little mouse. Too spicy. 63. Oof. What are you pointing at? I don't understand. Okay, he's pointing at 400. It's 400 calories for the whole thing. You like that?

Is that good for you? Okay. Do you like that? Is it good for you? That's a snack right there. He was nodding and pointing. I could eat the whole thing. These are the perfect snack, though, because of their shape and size.

That's greatly preferred to, like like sticks. Yep. I agree. You just pop a ball in one at a time. You chew it. It's got good crunch. That's a good snack. I want to eat more. Way to go Jason. 75.5 is the average score and I think that's a good score. A lot of fat and sodium in this too. That's tasty. He didn't give a shit. Did you see the calories?

Shut the hell up. You're losing money by not eating it. Yep. So there you go. Thank you Jason. Well guys if you want to send us snacks you can. You're losing money by not eating it. Yep. So there you go. Thank you, Jason. Well, guys, if you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send us snacks to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You can also stay up to date with everything Face Jam related at Face Jam Pod on Twitter, on Instagram.

I have a bunch of news up there. You can go check it out. The Compliments Crackle Hat is coming very soon. Oh, where is mine? Oh, I forgot them. I'll bring it, uh... That was so much harder than I thought. That was...

I thought it would be like a... I think you hit it right on like the crotch bar. I thought that was like a cheap table. The entirety of the impact was absorbed into my fist and I may have just broken my hand there's a reason I hit that table instead of this table and I thought that'll be softer the cheese balls won't help me

so I've been told we have the compliments crackle hat we're out of snacks though right no there's a lot of snacks are we snack-born? Oh, we're doing a snack attack at RTX. Yeah, okay.

Yes. Guys, post salt. You gotta explain everything to me. What's RTX? Catch me up to speed. Also, what does my family look like? Who are they? So we'll be doing a snack attack

and a live episode at RTX. Two different dates and times. Go to atfacejampod on Twitter, on Instagram. We'll have those dates and times and everything. The Compliments Grackle hat is in the warehouse and just not accounted for by whoever accounts for these things. So we should be having them up very, very soon. By the time this comes out, the hat might be out. I i'm not sure go to store.roosteeth.com they're in a

crate next to the ark of the covenant that's pretty much what i thought too and also when they when they are available you know make sure purchase them in memoriam of all the dead grackles yeah no kidding they're gonna be littering the parking lot do it for them uh i do want to brace you also that at rtx we're going to have a merch drop during i think our snack attack is the plan it's not during the episode is i think it's during the snack attack and uh there's a lot of really like the stuff that we're coming out with at rtx like this line that we have coming out for face jam is gonna be fucking awesome i'm really excited about it and there's there's one thing in particular where if you were to say hey michael what would you do for a michael line uh-huh there's one in here that it's it's much like my it's not as uh glorious

i'm not gonna i'm not gonna hype it up as like the sauce monkey but where it was uh hey this is the line this is about what we're thinking about doing i went i want one thing and they made the thing and i can't wait to get the thing i'm really it's such a it's such a cool uh drop yeah the the look and the style of whatnot our our design team is the face jam design team is really awesome and uh they did a great job with this stuff so you know what sucks about the face jam design team is that the other shows don't get them. It's like, I guess we just, we hoard them. I mean, they're like, can we, oh, there's other shows that come to us and be like, oh, can we use your design team?

Can we use your design team? It's like, oh, that's kind of the Face Jam. Same thing with the social media team. It's like, I don't know what they do in their off hours. They might moonlight. Don't let me hear about it. Yeah, I don't want to know. Because I'll fucking freak out yeah but if you want to like pay them off the

books in secret or something that's fine i guess uh i still might go ape on you and quote unquote donk out uh so you better not let me find out i actually because i will mess you up i want to see michael donk out i mean you don't want me Seeing him donk out on you You want to point me In another direction No Go donk out over there

You go point me In a direction and say Donk They fucking Hired our merch team In the middle of work hours And I'm going to donk out I don't know what

I'm going to do I don't know Somebody's going to get Ripped in half or something Is it donkey muscles Or like donkey kong I mean aren't they The same thing Doesn't donkey kong Have donkey muscles or like Donkey Kong? I mean, aren't they the same thing?

Doesn't Donkey Kong have donkey muscles? I think he does. I think just by virtue of his name. I guess so. A vigorous point came my way. I looked over at Nick. He's wearing the mask for some reason. He's wearing the mask. But drinking a soda. But right at the end, he just

put it on. Why? He doesn't know because he couldn't live without it. Exactly. He was getting scared. It's like when Green Lantern puts the ring back in the fucking lantern. He's just like, I need my power.

Better put my head back on. So there you have it. Alright, Jordan, take us out. I got it. He's looking, bro. Give him a sec. Calm down, you have it. All right, Jordan, take us out. I got it. He's looking, bro. Give him a sec. Calm down, you tyrant.

You think I got this figured out, memorized? Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you for listening. Good job. We're a normal podcast. A normal podcast by normal people. Uh-huh.

And an evil tyrant. Yeah, Nick. Uh-oh did you know beethoven was blind who said that