100% Eat - Wendy's English Muffin Sandwiches
Episode Date: August 29, 2023In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Wendy’s new English muffin sandwiches so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about how Michael and Eric are voice twins, Tro...n Legacy, why they should stop making new video games, loss of consortium, and more. Follow us on Twitter twitter.com/facejampod and Instagram instagram.com/facejampod If you want to help Loyal Jammer Bret, please donate here: http://bit.ly/sacredheartsschool and https://www.shsmaui.org/giving/ Sponsored by Farmers Dog http://thefarmersdog.com/facejam, Nuts.com http://nuts.com/facejam, and ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, jammers.
It's Jordan.
And Michael.
Dick is also here.
We're coming to you before the episode with a special message.
You may have heard of the horrible, devastating fires that have hit Maui and destroyed pretty much all of the town of
Lahaina on that island. Pretty horrific. It turns out we have a jammer who just last week was
featured on Spittin' Silly when he came all the way from Hawaii to bring us snacks. Yeah. We ate
them on the show and they were all from Maui and stuff and they were really good snacks. Yeah. We ate them on the show and they were all like, they were all from Maui and stuff.
And they were really good snacks.
And it turns out he's been affected by these fires that have been raging over there.
So we were thinking maybe some jammers, you know, would want to help him out.
And so we were going to record a message and, you know, see if anybody wanted to donate to help Brett.
But we reached out to him first,
and he actually, he graciously said he'll be fine,
but he teaches at a school that could really use the help,
and they're not getting it.
Yeah, the school's been damaged,
and it's put this trip that they take the students on
in jeopardy as well.
And so we'll be linking this GoFundMe to make sure this school trip keeps happening.
They take their eighth graders to the East Coast for a learning journey, rich in science
and social studies experiences.
They go to the Kennedy Space Center, Walt Disney World Imagination Campus, just a bunch
of cool STEM stuff and a cool experience for these kids.
So if you go to bit.ly slash sacred hearts school,
all lowercase, and that's hearts with an S,
it'll take you to the GoFundMe page
and you can help out loyal jammer Brett and his school,
get those kids on their trip.
So if you could spare it to help out a jammer
and help some kids in this horrible disaster.
You know, this one time
when Eric shills at the end of the episode
to buy something, ignore him
and maybe donate to some of the relief
and help these kids at the school.
Yeah, if ever there was a time to
redirect your money
from a Face Jam piece of
merch. As cool as the little piece of plastic
that makes a noise with Nick screaming is.
Yeah, maybe just this once will allow it
to help Brett and these kids at the school he teaches at,
help them out.
And also, I don't know what's with Eric.
Why is he pushing this stuff?
Didn't he listen to the start of this episode?
I know.
Weird.
It's pretty, if he even tries to plug merch
at the end of this episode,
that is just gauche beyond,
like I'm cringing now thinking about it.
And that's using it properly.
Yeah, I can't even imagine, honestly.
Anyway, that's bit.ly slash Sacred Hearts School.
Again, all lowercase, hearts, plural.
You know, if you're able, help a jammer out.
And now get ready for some tonal whiplash as we
start the episode of face jam you were expecting to listen to you're gonna want to turn the volume
way down at the beginning eric fucked up welcome to face jam the show where we try every new fast
food creation to let you know if you need it it, you probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside
my co-host, Jordan Sweers!
Jordan! How are you?
I saw that coming from a mile away.
Jordan was also trying to direct you.
Jordan was so happy. You started doing it
and he was just closing his eyes and nodding.
Just going, mmm, mmm, mmm.
There's always one little one like, one last minute thing
that is going to set the tone for how the episode starts.
And this week it was Michael saying, you didn't test my mic.
Yeah, you didn't test my audio.
And Nick going, I trust you.
And Michael going, that's a mistake.
And I was like, I know how this is going to go.
We didn't test it, and I don't have headphones.
Right.
It's really moved on from Jordan
and is that most of YouTube now.
Like this, I know where this is going
because it used to be directed at him.
But he's become so agreeable on most things.
Do you think you've become more like him
or him more like you?
I think both.
Jordan, thoughts?
I think so.
I agree and i think
i think that's an interesting premise for a show as well um becoming the same person no just like
the influence that two people can have on each other when they start at opposite like polar
opposites and how the influence like i'm making a camp camp reference oh i thought you were trying
to get people to listen to every previous episode of this show they should do that too to see how we slowly become the same person.
Yeah, you're not going to even understand. We used to sound
different. Now we sound the same. That's why
Eric's starting to sound like us too. Yeah, that's
why. They're always like, you all sound the same.
I don't understand that at all.
Through the sort of
tenure of this show, the things I
don't get are people going, Eric and Michael sound
the same. Not at all.
We don't. I get why they think that because people don't get are people going eric and michael sound the same not at all we don't i
get why they think that because people don't know stuff but i understand that they think that and
the other thing that i'll never understand and i feel like we got over the hump with it um in
general this was something you had to like teach the audience was well i can't listen if there's
no video how am i supposed to know who's talking? Do you remember that whole saga?
Yeah, we used to hammer people for that as well.
Well, because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.
One, it doesn't make any sense,
but I think those two ideas might be linked.
I think people get confused
when they can't see who's talking
because they don't know which voice belongs to which person.
But all you have to do is listen.
No, but when they think Eric and Michael sound the same
and then they see a video, they go,
that's Eric?
I was picturing somebody else.
I was confusing him with somebody else.
Boy, that happens a lot.
Yeah.
I didn't think that's what Eric looked like.
The fuck did you think?
What did you think?
There was, I don't even remember who this was.
By the way, Wendy's English muffin sandwiches.
There was a time not too long ago, a month or so ago,
something was going on in the office,
and there was a bunch of people in the kitchen,
and you, Eric, were doing something in broadcast.
I think it was a face thing,
and they were playing it in the kitchen,
and people were talking, and mentioned to me like, oh,
this is pre-recorded? And I was like, no, this is
live right now. And they literally said,
but isn't that you talking?
Yeah. And I went, no, that's Eric.
They work here. Yeah, I know.
That was me that yelled, not Eric.
Whoa. That was Crash Bandicoot.
That was Eric. It's getting good.
That whole story,
that whole story,
that was me talking.
That was Jordan.
And that's what he could do
if he felt like it.
Because we had...
Well, no, I have to actually...
This is actually a strain
to talk this way.
Oh, no.
It's very polite of you.
It's like me trying to do
my accent again from Jersey.
Right, my natural talking voice,
speaking voice, is just Michael. Oh, God. And I have to put on this voice to let people know that I polite of you. It's like me trying to do my accent again from Jersey. Right. My natural talking voice, speaking voice is just Michael.
Oh, God.
And I have to put on this voice to let people know that I'm not you.
It's very polite.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hey.
Jordan.
Muff pinions?
What?
This man needs to be stopped.
Where did that even start?
Where did that start?
I don't remember.
Pub pinions.
Was it?
I think it was the first one.
Yeah.
I mean, none of them are good.
None of them are good.
What are you talking about?
This one's good.
It's opinions about muffins.
Muff?
Muff pinions might be the best one.
What are your opinions on muff?
What do you think?
You wrote it.
Ooh, right in the muff.
Gotta stop saying it. Okay. Say muffin if you're? You wrote it. Ooh, right in the muff. You've got to stop saying it.
Say muffin if you're going to say anything.
You didn't write muffin.
I'm sorry.
You didn't write muffin pinions.
Please say muffin.
Please say muffin.
I'll tell you, we were eating this this morning, and you were like, this is it.
And I went, as I usually do, especially because the food was just dropped here.
This is an AM.
Yes. It's a real AM style. so i it's very good i even more than ever didn't know what the hell was happening yeah look at you and i went this face jam this spins what is it yeah it was michael
sitting down the food was being presented he went face jam or spitting silly and i say right because
there was no hullabaloo but no no in addition to my normal just general confusion
it was me going this this and you're like fish jam and i went this isn't new this is and you're
like no it's new and i went this is sausage and egg i promise you they've been doing this and he
went the muffins the muff the muff is what's new and i my eyeballs rolled into the back of my head. Yeah. I got it at bed for this?
Yeah.
For muff pinions?
Crazy.
They'll put anything on the radio these days.
It was just like a couple of confused questions.
Me going, no, but what is it?
He's like, this is the new thing.
I just kept going, what?
And he finally went, the muffin.
And I stared at it and went, you gotta be shitting me.
The English muffin thing.
You gotta be shitting me.
We were talking about Wendy's breakfast.
We're not much of a breakfast podcast
because we're typically later in the afternoon.
This is a great opportunity to explore
new horizons, I think.
Like sunrisins.
Wow.
Muffrisins? Sunpinions?
Does that work?
Never leave a muff sitting out in the hot rising sun.
That's all I'm saying.
That's my opinion. But I think that's all i'm saying that's my opinion this is
not good but i think that's more fact than opinion but that you know i'm just saying
it's almost 11 o'clock it's 10 30 a.m
uh wendy's wendy's breakfast has only been around for a little while a couple years it's pretty new
two three years uh i feel like that was during, I don't know if it was during COVID.
Dude, COVID's a black hole.
Me too.
As far as like, I'll swear something is a year or two old.
And it's like, if say something came out in 2009 or 2010, it means nothing to me.
If I think something came out in 2020 or 2021 and it came out in 2019, to me that's like pre-COVID?
Yeah.
That's like a different lifetime. that i will never get that right my my sense of time really does have a black hole
any i can remember anything during 2019 but if it's 2020 onwards yeah they might as well have
all happened in the same year like 2020 2021 2022 2023, all the same year to me.
Yeah, I will say I've been doing a thing recently where I think that COVID started in 2019.
It kind of did.
I mean, it probably did.
I'm just like lumping it all into one thing where I'm just like, yeah, man, it's like for five fucking years of just this shit.
And I don't know if it was.
That's the gus special
it's been going on for two decades yeah absolutely if it was like 2015 or before i just like that's
pre-covid and everything after 2015 is just covid times uh so wendy i can't wrap my head around 2015
being eight years ago wild right yeah yeah i watched uh tron legacy a movie that came out in 2010,
which in itself is shocking to me.
Even more shocking, that was 13 years ago.
Yes, it was.
If you were born in 2010, the year Tron Legacy came out, you're a teenager.
If you were born in 2010, the year Tron Legacy came out.
That's how people measure.
Yeah, that's a good replacement.
You know those quizzes of like, oh, what Blockbuster movies came out that year
you were born?
Tron Legacy.
I don't think it's...
Blockbuster in the term of big movies
people saw in the theaters,
not Blockbuster, the store that didn't exist
if you were born in 2010,
the year that Tron Legacy came out.
Was Tron Legacy a Blockbuster, though?
It did well, I think.
Did it do well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It wasn't critically acclaimed.
Disney's just milking that thing for, like, everything they can. Yeah, but they refused to make another Tron movie. Well, that, I think. Disney's just milking that thing for everything they can.
Yeah, but they refused to make another Tron movie.
Well, I don't think they wanted it.
They didn't want to make that Tron movie.
They're just like, oh, fuck.
I guess, whatever.
But they can only de-age the face so much.
Yeah, and that was the best part.
That was the best part.
Yeah, we got DigiBridges.
So I saw that movie in 2010 in theaters.
Left my mind the moment I walked out of the theater.
13 years later, I watch it.
The movie left your mind, not you left your mind at the theater.
I left my mind in Tron.
I haven't thought since.
I went into Tron and it came out a different person.
It came out young Jeff Bridges.
DigiBridges.
I forgot that DigiBridges was a thing.
Yeah.
Like, I watched that.
Not only is it a thing, he's the bad guy.
How did I forget?
He's the bad guy in the thing.
DigiBridges.
I forgot that too.
Why is he the bad guy?
Clue.
Clue.
He's a digital representation of himself.
So I hadn't seen the original Tron, and this was part of a double feature I did.
So I watched the first Tron in which
actually I think Tron is a better movie
than Tron Legacy. Oh that doesn't surprise me.
I just don't think either are very good.
Did you know that
the technology didn't exist for
3D elements to exist
on film? So all of
that, all the stuff, it's
more closely related
to who framed Roger rabbit than it is
a typical vfx movie it's rotoscoped hand painted over over film um what were we talking about well
i will say that now we truly are a podcast for white guys sitting around talking about tron let
me i just think it's so interesting that the de-aging thing happened in 2010. And it wasn't very good.
It doesn't look great now.
It wasn't the de-aging.
I mean, it's as good as it can get.
It's not the same technology, clearly.
It's all just computer generated and animated with, I think, some reference points.
They didn't do the full motion capture face camera thing that they do.
There are some shots that look really bad, though.
It's funny you talk about Tron and how old it is.
And you can't believe legacy
was 13 years ago because it was at rtx there was uh one of the one of the night parties or whatever
with rtx and they had tron playing in a bar and i'm and i'm walking out and uh pasta pete's partner
was there of course and she goes she calls me over she's like oh hey hey michael i'm like oh
i'm talking to her and she goes chris was telling me she goes that's like, oh, hey, Michael. I'm like, oh, I'm talking to her. And she goes, Chris was telling me.
She goes, that's your movie.
And I go, what?
And I look at the screen.
And she's like, yeah, Chris was telling me about Laser Team.
That's Laser Team.
And I'm staring at the screen.
And I look back at her.
And I go, that's Tron.
And she's like, that's not Laser Team.
And I go, that movie's like 40 years old.
And I was just staring. And I go, look at it.
Look at the movie, and we look up, and it's just,
how else can I explain?
That's Tron.
It's 2023.
That's incredible.
Those men are in their 60s now. That's so cool.
What are you talking about?
Oh, my God.
What are you saying?
No, I wasn't in Tron.
It wasn't even Tron Legacy.
It was the original Tron. Now, hang on. Are you sure that you weren't in tron it wasn't even tron legacy it was the original tron hang on
this looks like some shit an internet company would make right this looks like shit were you
in this i i was like what oh my god what are you they like stopped me as i was walking the bike
look it's like your movie and they were just like i just thought thought because it was RTX, they put your movie on. Wow.
That's not how I thought that story was going to go. I thought it was going to be a thing where...
Chris Gamelin, congratulations, you wrote this?
Well, that's what he's been telling people.
I thought it was going to be a thing where Chris was like,
big Tron guy, Michael Blake.
We were all surprised.
Calling him Digibridges was always really good.
Digital Jeff Bridges.
But then we started Digibridges,
and then we started calling him Jeff Bridgetle.
Oh, that's cool.
Jeff Bridgetle is very good. Getting Bridgetle was pretty cool.
Is very good.
He also had a quote.
Bridgetle, Bridgetle, get down.
He had a quote that wasn't in the movie,
but was on his toy, like the the clue toy if you press the button
like talks and he would just go so you like bikes what what the fuck that's cool is that what i like
i like clue
maybe clue was right oh man so those are pretty good muff pinions. Anyway, Wendy's breakfast.
Tron pinions?
Clue pinions.
Wendy's breakfast is pretty new,
and the English muffin, for some reason, came out yesterday.
Yeah.
I'll be honest.
Today is the second day of it.
I'm glad they had it.
Not that I think any most fast food stuff,
you go, wow, I've been waiting for this.
This one was really, it came out and I went, why did you do this?
Who, how is this even an announcement?
It's just another bread.
I don't understand.
I don't understand it.
Well, you know, people get excited about bread.
It's just another bread.
I mean, what?
I've never once, going from breakfast place to breakfast place,
thought, man, but if they had the muffin.
If they had a different bread,
I've never thought about it.
The only time I ever think about it
is sometimes I don't want a biscuit
because it's too thick.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, they're just,
as a fast food restaurant,
you're so limited in
what you can do for breakfast
because it's,
what can you make fast?
Egg.
And the only thing you can really change
is what's in the sandwich.
Egg.
And even then,
it's a very narrow definition of breakfast food.
And so you go, I don't know, change the bread.
What do we hype up this English muffin?
I'm going to say we.
I mean, they got to start making new breakfast foods.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, where's that new meat?
How is it just pork and chicken and beef?
Impossible.
It's got to be something else. pork and chicken and beef. Impossible. How is every other English
food bad compared to
any other...
No, English cuisine.
From England.
How is all of that...
I'm talking about mushy peas and shit.
How is all that bad? But they fucking
nail breakfast. I don't agree.
I don't like a full English breakfast.
A full english breakfast breakfast
versus oh you'd rather have some pancakes yeah i'd rather i'd rather have that than wake up and go
beans you don't have to fucking am beans but that's a full english that's that's like saying
well you don't have to you could put you could pick off the bacon it's like well no that's what
it is get no bacon yeah right it's like you get no beans you know they have a half english
i don't know if that's less beans i don't just get no bacon. Yeah. Right. It's just like you get no beans. You know they have a half English.
I don't know if that holds. Is it less beans?
I don't know if it holds the beans.
It's actually half the egg, twice as many beans.
No!
Yeah.
Too many beans.
Yeah.
Gracie sneezed, but it looked like she dabbed.
I looked over and I don't know what the fuck was happening.
I will say, not a peep.
Yeah.
Not a fucking peep.
Perfectly silent.
A consummate professional.
Gracie, by the way, got the food for us this morning.
And didn't stab us in the back.
Wow, how interesting.
Yeah, well, you know, first time for everything.
Gracie went and got the food for us, which was very nice.
We were a little short on time, and that's why we're doing it in the morning,
and that's why Gracie went and picked up the food.
Gracie, anything interesting happen getting the food?
Nope. There you go. But I was the only Gracie, anything interesting happen getting the food? Nope.
There you go. But I was the only one there, so
these are not in high demand.
So you could have done something
interesting. Sure, I could have.
A little 9.45
Wendy's. Yum, yum. There's a lot left in the day.
I could go back and do something interesting.
That ship has sailed.
Wendy's.
She did order 10 of the sandwiches.
Getting 10, they probably were like, hmm.
She must be a producer.
Munchie, munchie. Did you just wake up and you need to eat 10 English muffin sandwiches?
Yes.
And two orders of French toast sticks.
French toast sticks is not something we're reviewing today,
so we can talk about it now.
Fuck those things. I didn't know what they were he's been fired up about him i'm mad
i've been big time mad here's the thing here's how i know that i'm too mad nick is pointing at
me giving me a thumbs up and he's agreeing with me i'm too upset uh no one should care this much
about the french toast sticks no absolutely even if we're on a food podcast it's too much
it's too early in the morning for people to be celebrating their their wins with nick it keeps
happening yeah people go well nick agrees with me gracie is fully on board with nick and nick is
fully on board with gracie and like some food court nonsense see now they're gonna wreak havoc
the rest of the day yes this is why they're gonna this is why it's like 2 p.m. thing where it's like they can't get the wheels turning
enough to get the ball rolling.
I like the monkey having an apprentice human.
Who's just a regular person.
Who's a regular human being.
A college graduate human.
But like she's like devolving, speaking less and more.
We'll talk about this.
Gracie, what have you been up to since college?
I've been apprenticing under a monkey.
I mean, ook, ook.
Gracie has gained access to the email.
That's exactly how he said it.
She's gained access.
FacejamPod at RichardT.com.
We didn't grant it to her.
She hacked her way in.
She hacked her way in.
And I'm like, okay, have a look.
See if there's anything to source for like food courts,
which is a spit and silly show.
And also we're going to be doing a live one
on September 8th at 11 a.m.
Because that's when the-
Live one?
Yeah, that's when the gavel comes out.
You can buy a gavel and temporarily rule
on your friend's food conundrums.
Dude, we're going to be banging those gavels nonstop.
Rulings left and right.
So I was showing Gracie,
here's some of the emails that we get.
One of them was, I'll use this as an example somebody went uh hey when i i was eating cookies and milk with my brother and went to pour my glass of milk and he's like no i'm good i got water
and then he dipped his cookies in water and then that was always it's always he said it's softening the cookie and that's good enough
jordan is so upset i was too i was just like what and then this guy out the gate starts defending
it he's like i've done that and i'm just like and he's like and he's just like it's dry yeah you eat
the fucking cookie and then you drink the water you don't dip cookies in water it's crazy gracie
it's crazy that combination doesn't sound great, but at least
it's what you do. Yeah, at least it follows
established procedures. Right. But then
Gracie was like, yeah, that's weird. I would
I mean, you could like change it up a little bit.
Like what if you got a vanilla Oreo and
you dipped it in root beer?
It sounds phenomenal. But it's also
so phenomenal.
And also, I don't know. This is
what started it because Nick is going, oh yeah!
Yeah!
Michael's
fucking losing it. That's where the
connection is strong. Where Gracie's
ready to admit phenomenal
and he's like, yeah!
I'm like,
okay, you've piqued my interest. We should try
it. But Gracie and Nick
are already like, no, it's piqued my interest. We should try it. But Gracie and Nick are already like,
no, it's the best thing ever.
It's also completely irrelevant
to the fucking conversation.
Right, absolutely.
Of like, well, when I want cookies and milk
and I'm like, I have water.
What about, but have you seen a clown on a unicycle?
That's pretty cool.
I'd take a bite of that.
Oh man, so I think food court's going to get crazy. But September 8th, 11 a.m. I'd take a bite of that oh man
so I think food court's gonna get crazy but
September 8th
11am I think is when we're doing that
only 20 minutes before the haiku
holy shit
this is what happens when you have muffinions bro
we could talk about Toronto a little bit more
I absolutely could I was in it
Chris wrote it I guess
alright haiku
muffins of all types when you need to break fast Chris wrote it, I guess. All right, haiku.
Muffins of all types.
When you need to break fast, fast.
What makes them English?
Great question.
Great question.
And also, what makes them muffins?
Yeah.
That's also true.
What do they call them in English?
Goddamn nooks and crannies.
We were talking about that, I think, before you got here.
Are there no nooks and crannies?
I mean, if there are, they're non-existent.
They are so soft for English muffins.
They're very fluffy.
And what I like about English muffins are the nooks and crannies.
You talk about like a classic Thomas.
A Thomas English muffin. I want to take a bite.
You throw.
I want to hear the crunch.
I want to rip and tear a little bit.
Exactly.
You throw that in.
Oh, you got to rip and tear a little bit.
It's also like the only, I mean, I'll do it on toast, but like you got to have butter
on an English muffin.
Absolutely.
Because the nooks and crannies.
Yeah.
There's an actual science to it.
It's so good.
It's very good.
You rip it and the butter turns to like liquid.
There's actual science.
Yeah.
There's science, God damn it.
There's science.
There's not just science.
It's not just your lazy ass flat toast.
Right.
It is.
It's like when I get wet now, it's a show because the water dances down my body.
Oh, you're nooks and crannies?
That's what it is.
I got nooks and crannies now, so I extra appreciate it.
He's got gutters of some type.
They call them butter gutters.
Okay.
That's not.
They call them butter gutters.
What's your muff opinion about my butter gutter?
I haven't heard butter gutter.
Because I just invented it.
It's a fun little phrase.
Jordan's intrigued.
We'll try it.
All right, cool.
No, no.
I'm beyond intrigued.
It's phenomenal.
Again, we're sinking.
Oh, my God.
AM Face Jam is crazy.
We have to do it.
We have to do it for science.
Yeah.
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We all have the power to shape the world.
We're connected to the world we share.
To each other.
I am future.
I wait in the world of Echo.
Discover the extraordinary with Echo,
the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West.
The world is yours to create.
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Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard.
That was a great haiku.
Let's learn about Wendy's.
Something we know very little about.
I hope there's some lawsuits in here.
That's all I'm going to say.
Our previous Wendy's episode
was released September
2022 where we ate
the pretzel pub for a second time.
It received an average score of
84.49993
point.
Whose fault was that?
You gave our first iteration
a 68.
And then the next iteration,
when we went back and we were like, we review it,
you went, it's definitely better, 69.
And I was furious.
It's a higher score.
I was mad listening to it again
and then I was mad in the episode.
And then Michael gave it.
Eric's talking to the foam that's playing it going, he gets it.
This fucking guy.
Well, Eric kept talking.
He was listening to the episode, and he was talking.
He thought it was me.
Right.
Very confusing.
Michael gave it like a 99.9998 something, whatever.
And so it ended up being an insane number.
A nice solid number.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think as all all things it evens out.
84 is fair. Next fact.
Yeah. Wendy's has once again
removed the pretzel pub from the menu. It's gone!
Now when does that go into effect?
It's been about a year. I mean I think
It has been phased out and it is not
In some
places it's still orderable. They're not replenishing
previous supplies. i think that's
what it is they're there until they run out so you gotta go out you gotta go out to like the
the outskirts to a wendy's that still has it i will say it's been around long enough i i think
i absorbed my my ravenous craving for it after about 40 or 50 of them. But I still go back.
I saw the
message of like, oh, they're doing it
again. Immediately went out and ate one.
And they still had it then. It is not on
the online menu. Whoa.
So I got it, last time I got it,
when word was sent.
And I went,
I'll see you again one day. You'll be back.
Do you think
there's a wendy's out in like elgin or outside bastrop we could go to that would have it i feel
like one last ride least likely to have it one last ride right like would it be i mean they probably
have enough for like five but i don't think people are going over there to yeah five of them yeah exactly they
probably get like the least inventory but also the least traffic for exactly yeah i imagine like
the middle of austin they were probably slinging them yeah you know how we've been to the restaurants
where they can't even get their cheeto dust delivered yes that is actually it's backed up
brown rock is technically outskirts right yeah? Yeah, definitely. You know how in Breaking Bad there's that point they reach
where Jesse has to go out like two hours outside Albuquerque
to get Sudafed and matches and stuff?
Oh, yeah.
It's like that's what we got to do.
We got to drive into the middle of nowhere.
To get Sudafed.
Yeah, we have to get Sudafed.
Our Sudafed equals public.
No, it's just Sudafed.
I've been buying Sudafed because people's, people keep asking where the van went.
You know where it went.
Went to my front yard and I make meth in it
with all the Sudafed.
A Louisiana woman is suing Wendy's for $150,000
after eating a double cheeseburger
and being hospitalized for a month
for possible E. coli infection.
Continue.
E stands for entertainment.
Okay.
Hang on.
Possible entertainment coli infection, comma, acute gastrointestinal bleeding, comma, septic shock, comma, cerebral hemorrhage, and severe sepsis.
hemorrhage and severe sepsis.
She's also suing for, quote,
loss of enjoyment of life and, quote, loss of
consortium, which means not being able
to have sex with her husband. Quote,
and this is a quote from Eric,
I can't fuck because of fast
food, end quote, is now acceptable
for this woman and the Arby's
dick melt guy.
I'm sorry. That guy surely can fuck by now.
He has to, right?
In any way that he can.
Whatever it takes.
I was on board with
the feasibility of this
lawsuit when it's like, oh, it was probably
E. coli, and then it just kept going.
When it got to
cerebral hemorrhage
and it was like, maybe it's not double cheeseburgers
yeah yeah it sounds like something else happened to you on the way you were you were hanging by a
thread and then went to wendy's and it all came crashing yeah it was it was really the straw that
broke the camel's back let me ask this too is it like it starts with being hospitalized for a month for possible. Possible.
Is it possible all this?
Yes.
So you don't even know if you had it?
Correct.
I don't even understand.
Now look, we're not sure what you have,
but whatever it is, it was probably from Wendy's.
Yeah, that's right.
That is, she was in the hospital for a month
with possibly these things. From possibly eating a cheeseburger.
Yes.
And then also,
what other medical reason could there be?
And then I'm going to be honest with you.
Even if that were the case,
even if you possibly got all of this,
$150,000,
that's going to cover two days in the hospital.
I was going to say,
what the fuck are you going to do with that?
Call a lawyer. She's not going to pay the hospital. I was going to say. What the fuck are you going to do with that? Call a lawyer?
She's not going to pay the hospital back.
I'm pretty sure
a $14 million hospital stay.
A person with this many problems
definitely has health insurance.
And it's probably low.
It's probably low cost.
Oh, yeah.
The idea of suing Wendy's
because you possibly had
all those afflictions
and then you also went, by the way, loss of life and I can't fuck is crazy.
Yeah.
Crazy.
I mean, can't fuck because-
Double cheeseburger.
There's something wrong with her or can't fuck because I'm in the hospital
and I just can't fuck in the hospital.
Like, either could be true.
Gotta make up for lost time.
Gotta make up.
Hey, and that's the loss of enjoyment.
That's like, could you sue your employer for loss of fuck while you're driving to work?
Let's just streamline it.
I'm suing for loss of fuck.
Can we?
That's why I work from home.
Could we?
Yup.
Hey.
These employees, very litigious. Not returning to the office. that hey these employees
very litigious
not returning to the office
could we sue Wendy's for loss
of enjoyment of life because they got rid of the
pretzel pug
you couldn't you gave it a 69
yeah Michael could
69 I also can't
I also can't say loss of consortium with that
am I right or am I right?
Nice.
Hey, look, another lawsuit.
A Las Vegas woman is suing Wendy's for feeding her glass, period.
Possibly.
No, it just says there's no possible there.
And I'm not saying she's suing for Wendy's feeding her glass something.
She doesn't have something made of glass that they're feeding. They fed her the glass. The suit alleges, quote, she experienced
a tremendous sense of shock and fear as her hamburger was not juicy and tender as expected,
but instead consisted of hard and clear glass-like particles that not only created loud crunching and breaking sounds,
but, in fact, these hard and clear glass-like particles
actually broke many of Miss Haston's teeth.
What the fuck is going on at Wendy's?
Did this lady sue for not fucking too?
My question.
Imagine eating glass.
My question.
That's the last thing you want to be doing.
Well, imagine taking a bite and going
is this glass and going
I better take a couple more bites just to be sure
I better keep mashing all my teeth
hang on it's me
unless the thought was I sense an opportunity
here let me mash as hard as possible
and just sue the
crap out of them it's me picking up the hamburger
from Wendy's and going I can't wait to take a bite of this juicy and tender hamburger
as I am expecting it to be.
Don't order the cinnamon sticks.
French fries.
If you get the French toast.
Yeah.
Were you expecting it to be juicy and tender?
Yeah.
And instead they fed me glass.
Here's the thing, though.
I will say, in counter to suing for not fucking,
you're knocking all our teeth out.
You can make something easier.
I'm just saying.
That could be a counter in the claim
like yes but
I think
I would like to hear
from your husband
your honor
I call Mr. So and So
to the stand
Mr. Haston to the stand
I love Wendy's
I love Wendy's you I love Wendy's!
You said, knocked all her teeth out and made something easier, and Gracie went,
oh my God.
I can't believe Wendy's is doing it either, Gracie.
It's sick.
It's running, right? Because there's more
she can breathe.
Yeah, that's what it is.
She can get more air in.
Oh, man.
He's all around us.
An investigation.
Last fact.
An investigation is still underway after a South Carolina Wendy's employee
started shooting out the drive-thru window at a car,
then chased the car and continued firing as it sped away.
The employee was arrested for aggravated breach of peace
and unlawful carrying of a firearm.
But we have to consider how long his shift was,
how many hamburgers he made while having a gun on him,
and if he brandished it at any of the hamburgers
in case I get sick.
Just thinking about it making me...
Just thinking about it is making me not want to fuck.
If he brandished it at any of the burgers.
They bring it as like stress relief kind of thing
where it's like the burger's not right.
Get it together.
What's off the paper on that story?
What do you mean?
So what's the follow?
Who was he shooting at?
There was a car.
They gave him to the drive-thru.
He started shooting at him and then chased him down.
I got that part.
Yeah.
What's the other details?
Then the cops came and arrested him.
And he wasn't like.
He was a guy who just fucking worked there and had a gun on him the whole time.
What the fuck is aggravated breach of peace?
I don't know.
I guess it's shooting at someone through a drive-thru.
I wouldn't call it.
Do we need to downplay like, hey, that guy's a shooter.
Hey, that's a derogatory term.
Hey, he's an aggravated breach of peace.
Hey, he had unlawful carrying of a firearm.
That's fucking crazy.
Imagine going to Wendy's and somebody just starts
shooting at you through the window and you're just like,
I just didn't like the French toast sticks!
And then they keep fucking chasing you down and shooting at you.
Goddamn.
That's all it was. South Carolina.
Yep.
That could happen here.
Absolutely.
It's a real Texas style story.
You can carry a gun at a Wendy's in
Texas, right? Can you? Probably not. I don't know. I mean, you can legally. It depends a real Texas style story. Yeah, you can carry a gun at a Wendy's in Texas, right?
Can you?
Probably not.
I don't know.
I mean, you can legally.
It depends on the store.
Everywhere in Austin, it's funny because I never saw them growing up.
Yeah.
Everywhere in Austin has like, can't bring a gun in here.
Right.
And you have to have that sign up.
And I go, wow, wouldn't it be great if it just was the rule?
Yeah.
Right.
Wouldn't it be great if that was implied?
The first time I saw, uh-uh, leave it in your car.
The first time I saw that sign was in Chicago, like, 10 or 11 years ago.
And I went, that's crazy.
And then I moved here, and I went, oh, it's here, too.
It's on, like, Walmart.
Yeah.
You know?
Uh-uh-uh, no gun.
Don't take the gun inside.
They need, like, a little rhyming mnemonic device.
That's the only way people in Texas really get it.
You have to make something right.
Turn around, don't drown type shit.
Exactly.
Bring a gun, no more fun.
And in Phoenix,
which has some of the worst drivers I've ever encountered,
they have signs that say,
use your head, stop on red.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's not,
I feel like that's not something that legally should be allowed to remind people. That's not, I feel like that's not something
that legally should be allowed
to remind people.
That's insane.
That's something you should have to know
without a reminder.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, fuck.
There needs to be,
this sign needs to be closer to my house
because I've been driving for 30 minutes
not stopping at Red's.
You don't even want to know
how many Red's I have
until I saw this sign reminding me.
My wife gets so pissed here because it's on the freeways.
They have like the big signs that say like,
how do y'all remember to buckle up or whatever.
It'll usually be phone or seatbelt.
Yeah, it's that.
And she just goes,
it's the most fucking distracting thing in the world
to look at the sign and now I'm mad at the stupid fucking sign.
Well, not only that,
but it's a fucking like an LED sign.
And so there's two pages.
It'll change.
You gotta wait.
You're looking up going,
don't forget the one!
Don't forget the one!
And you're just staring at it,
waiting for it to change.
It makes no sense.
God help you if you drive past it before it flips.
Because then you're just thinking about it.
Well, then you have to slam all the fucking brakes,
put it in reverse,
go back and see what the other side was.
And the next thing you know,
they're citing you for
aggravated breach of peace on I-83.
Well, yeah. What am I going to do?
Not shoot out my window?
I shoot at the sign.
I'm trying to hit the
next page button.
I'm trying to hit the lights to write my own
words up there. See what happens.
Change the sign.
That's Wendy's. Yeah.
You guys learn a lot?
I learned about two lawsuits
and an investigation that was underway.
And then what we rated it last time
and then that the pretzel pub's gone.
See, those are all facts. Those are all the facts.
How about this? That's insane.
Not for fun, leave
the gun. Oh, that's
pretty good. So it's like, you know,
if you're going in for business,
you don't need your gun.
You gotta treat it like you can't be treading on them.
You know what I mean?
Because it's like...
All guns are good.
They're all good guys.
All guns are born good.
Especially this guy who worked at a Wendy's.
There are no bad Pokemon, just bad Pokemon trainers.
Wow.
There's a lot of just like, but straight up garbage Pokemon.
Right, but like, there's like Muk.
Yeah, I mean.
That's fucking crazy.
I thought you were going to say.
That's pretty fucking impressive.
And it's crazy because there's a lot of Pokemon.
One of us said it.
And it just sounded like both of us.
Michael.
I just said Muk. Why did Michael echo there? Well, Michael said it and it just sounded like both of us michael i just said
why did michael echo there well michael said it and then nick did like an echo effect yeah nick
edited something oh my god um i thought you were gonna say the literal garbage pokemon trubbish
right he's one yeah literally you know what i'm too old yeah i don't know i've never seen i could
not tell you what gen i can name i would name all 151. I would guess four.
I can guess 50 after that.
Yeah.
And I played 10 games after that.
But they're not as good as they used to be.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Is there a Pokemon rap for gen, like the third gen one?
It's not that they came out and I was there.
Someone should do all 10,000.
I'm sure there's a YouTube video we can look up right now,
and it's a fucking shitty rap of somebody doing it.
And then it's the kid doing
chug jug with you or whatever
where he's gonna take down tomato town
fuck that shit
what the hell is he talking about
the worst parody music in the world
Minecraft stuff I hate it
I hate it so much he's talking about number one victory royale
that's it yeah that kid
he probably did a Pokemon
rap with all one million Pokemon.
You're talking about number one Victory Royale?
Yeah.
Fortnite?
Yeah.
I love that song.
Just wiped out Tomato Town.
That's cool.
I love that.
That's cool.
I like how unproblematic its source material is because of who is involved in the original song.
Very normal stuff.
That's all good.
It's all good.
Video games. We should stop, I think. Good song, otherwise. all good it's all good video games they we should
stop i think good song otherwise i think they should stop making video games for a little bit
like take like a year or two off like there's plenty there's just plenty of video you just
play an old one that's it this is such an old man take yeah i'm fine with that i got no problem
many games too many games i don't think there's too many games. I think there's just enough games. I think we've
hit enough games. You sound like the British
Royal Academy of Science in like
1860 where it's like, we're gonna
stop patents. We've
invented everything. We know
all the science. We've figured it out.
I literally
can't think of what else we could invent next.
I think that's gotta be it, guys.
Where does Starfield fall? Does that come out or not come out?
They should hold it for a couple years.
Oh, no. It's so close.
It is.
I mean, I'll give them until the end of August.
Oh, no. It's not going to be out until the end.
Well, then it's got to wait until 2025.
I thought that was like a week ago.
I only know Starfield because I saw somebody Photoshop
it and said Garfield.
I know because people won't shut the fuck up about it.
That's Baldur's Gate 3.
And I hate it, and I want you to just hate, and I hate you,
and stop talking to me, and I'm not going to play it.
And then I go, oh, it's Bethesda? Yeah, I'll play that.
Is that what started this kind of thought?
Was it Baldur's Gate that got you?
It was like, just enough games.
No, I think it was like a while ago where I just kind of went like oh we just keep making them and now we're just doing the old games new again
if you're gonna do that just do that just just make the old ones i do appreciate and very much
enjoy when i hear about a new game and it's like the third one oh i haven't heard of the other ones
at all yeah there are two more i don't remember hearing about Baldur's Gate 1 and 2.
Let me tell you why you're
hearing about Baldur's Gate, and this is someone who
hasn't played it yet.
Oh, there's like Butter Gutters, right? There's Butter
Gutters, but also, the game is
125 gigs. Yeah.
Gotta buy your own.
What the fuck? You gotta buy a whole
hard drive for that. I went to download it, and I went,
well, this is the thing.
Just straight up.
I mean, not to say like something expensive is good,
but I went, you just don't sling out a 125 gig game.
That's why I go, oh, this is why people are talking about it.
It's like an experience.
Yeah, it's like a life.
Well, my GT 970 graphics card.
Yeah, your computer that you can't
even record this show on.
Will it run the game? My i5 chip.
Yeah, with my hard drive that's
dead. Yeah, set it to
medium.
Oh, right, yeah.
Don't do high. Okay, okay.
No dynamic shading.
I would say don't. You can do a couple dynamic
shadings. Don't go over 120 hertz.
Probably. No shadows from structures. Yeah, I would say don't go over 120 hertz, probably.
No shadows from structures.
I always do highest quality water, though.
You got to have good looking water.
Shitty polygon graphics, that's fine.
But I see it and I want to drink it.
Yeah, yum yum.
And then I lick the screen and go,
oh, they got me again.
Yeah.
A fast one.
Sausage English muffin sandwich.
A fresh cracked grade A egg. Whoa.
Grilled sausage.
And American cheese on a toasted
English muffin with a
buttery spread.
Note, not
butter. Uh-huh. Finally,
the classic breakfast sandwich is part of the breakfast
the best breakfast in the biz whoa finally is that the classic breakfast sandwich are they the
if you're saying mcdonald's is that like i don't know what makes it the classic breakfast sandwich
except the mcmuffin right i don't think gotta have an english muffin for it to count as a
breakfast sandwich like i don't i've been making have an English muffin for it to count as a breakfast sandwich.
I've been making them on hamburger buns.
Yeah, it's really sort of anything that you have.
Yeah, it works great. I've been doing like a
fried egg and the yolk gets everywhere, but the hamburger
bun goes... I'm actually not big
on the biscuit sandwiches.
I don't think biscuit is good for breakfast.
You really gotta be in the mood for it.
For me, the only time I really think it
works the best is for chicken sandwiches.
I like a breakfast biscuit with a fat breakfast chicken.
They're just so dry.
Yes.
And, like, they fall apart.
They fall apart.
That's my biggest thing.
They fall apart, and then they're just filled.
Yeah.
You know?
They're like, you're losing meat eat for that biscuit.
Mm-hmm.
I do think McMuffin is probably the way to go.
Like, as far as, like, best bread.
I guess.
I don't know why they took so long to bring it to Wendy's.
It's finally, yeah, nothing.
Yeah, no shit.
Nothing stopped them.
They just didn't do it.
It's weird to be like, we finally did it.
It was that big a deal.
Why didn't you start with it?
I mean, and they really do say finally.
Yeah.
It really is just finally.
Right.
The classic breakfast sandwich is part of the best breakfast in the biz.
I can read this next one about the bacon sandwich as well, and then I have another question for you.
Okay.
Because this won't take very long.
Bacon English muffin sandwich, a fresh cracked grade A egg, applewood smoked bacon, and American cheese on a toasted English muffin
with a buttery spread.
Finally.
Finally.
The classic breakfast sandwich
is part of the best breakfast in the biz.
Finally.
Go ahead and ask what your question is.
What do you think about bagel sandwiches as breakfast?
Love them.
I'm fucking love them.
I think it's the best.
It's got to be cooked perfectly
where the bagel needs to be toasted but soft. That I
want soft. You don't want a crispy bagel
when there's shit in it. Let's keep talking because
I'm sensing there's about to be some descent
from across the table. No, no, no. Exactly what he said
is exactly what I was going to say. And I don't want to hear
criticism. It's
the only reason it would ever miss is if you get
the chewiest bagel and then
you take a bite and it compresses
doesn't tear apart. Doesn't tear apart.
Doesn't tear.
You've got to have it tear.
Nick is giving his opinions and notes.
See, now, what you're describing is an excellent bagel with cream cheese.
Yes, absolutely.
Not for a sandwich.
Completely different consistency for a sandwich.
And what was Nick's note?
So, you might recall we went to Chicago about a year and a half ago.
Uh-huh.
God, it was that long already?
We left in the morning to go back home,
and we were in the airport,
and we went to,
some of us went to McDonald's for breakfast.
Other people got a bagel sandwich.
His note was,
I should have got the bagel sandwich
at the Chicago airport.
He's still thinking about it.
It's a year and a half.
He's still thinking about it.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Gracie, this is the person that agrees with you most.
Also, imagine his actual life.
Like, actual life decisions.
You could get one whenever.
There's a couple.
Who he married and which house they bought.
But here's the thing.
He's fine with all those things.
All of that stuff, he's crushing.
But he's laying in bed a year and a half ago so some
people think about like an embarrassing thing that happened to them like a few years ago or
an awkward social situation i made the right call here awesome what a fucking psycho just like it
haunts him and it's from mcdonald's too it's not like yeah nervous charlie's is great yeah love
nervous rockstar Bagels
is my go-to. Is it really? I think that's the last
time I had that sandwich too, by the way. Because I
was freaking out about the bagel sandwich.
Does it keep you up at night? No, because I got it.
I'm the one that ate it. You made the right
call there. I made the right call because
that was my favorite McDonald's breakfast
sandwich was the fucking steak, egg, and cheese bagel.
And it was like, shit steak. Not real steak,
but it's like fast food. It's McDonald's food.
The bagel was perfect.
It was like a bagel format.
It's big enough so it can hold all the shit.
It doesn't leak.
It doesn't get soggy, but it's soft so it rips.
You got to have it rip.
And that was the other thing too.
With their gym mat steak,
it would just melt to pieces in your mouth.
It was like exactly what I want.
No chewing. That's like when you I want. I don't want it.
That's like when you get like a steak sandwich from a diner and it's like,
you just fucking cut pieces of a steak and put it on a sandwich.
This sucks.
And it's like whole chunks of meat.
Right.
Like it's,
yeah,
there's gotta be some consistency.
What you just said,
I think sums up what this thing is and,
and fast food sort of breakfast,
or I guess food in general,
it no chewing.
These are, when we were saying like, these are like food in general, no chewing. These are,
when we were saying like,
these are like so soft
and like so pillowy
and like there's no chew to it.
That's all fast food.
It is just like,
how can we slide this down your throat
with the least effort from you?
I think of Domino's.
Yeah.
Domino's,
I don't know how they make their pizza,
but it's fake food
and you just chew it twice
and it falls down your mouth.
And it's just,
you think it disintegrated,
but you swallowed it.
You have to chew real pizza.
It's more of the idea of eating than it is actual eating.
It's just kind of like M&M's.
It just like melts in your mouth, but you get it in there.
Whatever biodegradable material it is.
It is biodegradable, but shouldn't be.
Not inside of you.
Anyway.
Hey, let's learn about press material.
Yeah, here's the press material.
Quote, fans asked and we answered.
No, they didn't.
As breakfast boundary breakers,
we're always looking to cook up new craveable breakfast offerings
to add to our stacked breakfast lineup.
And we have high standards for what ultimately makes it into our menu.
Don't laugh. Said John Lee lee global vice president of culinary innovation for the wendy's company global global
he's going he's culinary innovation worldwide baby anyone above that is interplanetary
galactic someday um i just like that high High standards, English muffins.
English muffins?
Yeah, but also, finally,
you're about to hear the standards.
Yeah, check this shit out.
We tested 60 variations of our English
muffin sandwiches before we landed
on these light and fluffy English
muffins made with a touch of honey
topped with a savory buttery
spread, fresh cracked eggs, and
delicious bacon or sausage
for the perfect harmony of breakfast flavors.
The other 59 must have been terrible.
It's funny that we were talking about how narrow
the ingredients are
that you're working with for breakfast.
I'm surprised they could come up with 60
variations. I'm sure
the variation was the name of the brand.
It's nothing else.
Fucking crazy.
Well, they took the honey off, and then they put it back on.
What are you talking about?
Then they took the buttery spread off.
Honey and butter.
And they put that on and took the honey off.
The only butter on there is,
and we were talking about this while we were eating,
it's such a greasy sandwich, but it doesn't get everywhere.
It simply is greasy on the sandwich and then inside of you. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't get everywhere it simply is greasy on the sandwich
and then inside of you yeah yeah it doesn't drip or leak at all but it's very greasy very and and
we found out that's because of a savory buttery spread i got more sweetness on the bacon one and
i thought maybe the bacon had something to do with like it was like maple or something but it's just
apple wood so it's like i don it taste like that. I have kind of
the same question that just kind of asks
itself from the press material
and the English muffin sandwiches
describing them.
And that is, to proclaim
twice for being the
best breakfast in the biz,
how are you the best breakfast
in the biz before you have the
classic breakfast sandwich? Because I biz before you have the classic sandwich?
Because I feel like that's the classic.
You can't be the best without the classic.
Right.
But then the next line is talking about breaking boundaries by having the
classic breakfast sandwich.
Finally,
the least boundary breaking thing you could.
Hey guys,
we're breaking all the rules and we got what we should have had
from day one can you believe it
if they had done
the English muffin first and
the thing that we were eating today was a
newly introduced breakfast
Baconator then that
makes sense with like their order of operations
they went off
script to start
and now they're like well we gotta let's take it back
now we're getting back on script
and for Wendy's that's breaking boundaries
yeah absolutely
that's not just breaking boundaries that's breaking breakfast boundaries
very weird
very weird that they're touting this so much
it's just a fucking bun
they have to
this is their job is to make this sound like
they're doing something when really they're not doing this to me is maybe worse than the mcdonald's like this
guy orders this stuff right that i mean because there's nothing there but at least they're going
and they're leveraging that celebrity right that's exactly that musician or athlete or whatever right
this is them going english muffies yeah and you know them you love them fuck wasn't going to
wendy's but now is dropping everything
to go get the food they've always had,
but now with English muffies.
From everywhere else.
Like, this is a thing.
We were saying, like, McDonald's breakfast.
Would you get this over an egg McMuffin?
Like, I just don't.
Dude, 60 variations on this thing.
The only time I go to Wendy's for breakfast
is for that breakfast bacon eater.
That's it.
I'm really feeling like an absolute piece of shit monster.
A garbage man?
Just a garbage monster man.
I go, what if I want like 50 strips of bacon on a sandwich, but I don't want a hamburger.
Oh, sausage and egg and 50 strips of bacon?
That's acceptable.
That's it.
Bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddle is still the best for me.
It's very good.
So what do you think of this?
What do you think of the English muffin offerings here with Wendy's?
It's a bad English muffin.
It is.
I think it sucked.
It's bad.
It is undeniably, in my opinion, worse than the breakfasts I've been eating there for years.
Since they introduced breakfast.
This is my first foray into Wendy's breakfast as well.
It's bad.
All the other shit is better.
And again, I'm not like, I'm not praising the other buns,
but I've just never really noticed.
It's either just like some sort of bun.
It's not an English muffin.
It's some sort of bun.
They have like a croissant and they have a biscuit.
And then they've got the biscuit.
Right.
And you just eat it and you go, this sandwich is good or whatever.
Yeah.
To go through this hoopla for this
English muffin, I don't understand it to begin with.
And then on top of that, it's not good.
All you've done is just
offered a worse sampling of your food.
It's like thicker than an English muffin should be
and it's way too soft.
Yeah, it's too soft. They're talking about being happy
about fluffy and spongy.
It should not be that.
The English muffin, i'll be honest
and he's have nooks and crannies and butter a little bit more but that's acceptable this is
more fluffy less cooked than an english muffin yeah this was almost like eating a slightly
thicker hamburger bun it really it's very weird it's a very weird thing so no no honey you know
what no no absolutely news to me news Told you you didn't test my audio.
Bringing that one back around 52 minutes in.
I mean...
And I went like this.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Can you imagine?
Here, I'll try it again.
It was also just fine, though,
as far as, like,
the ingredients, you know?
Do you have a preference
on one or the other?
The bacon one was better.
I think the bacon one
had more flavor, yeah.
I would recommend not getting this garbage.
Fast food sausage bacon.
You're going to Wendy's.
All right, so I'm going to give it a 47.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
I've had their breakfast.
Not impressed, but also not too offended.
It's good.
Yeah, I don't think this is offensive.
They've got pretty good breakfast,
and this is like
maybe the worst Wendy's breakfast I've had.
I'm going to give it a 28.
Wow. Because look
Wendy's, you've
fallen so far.
You're lucky Jordan has never had it before.
Honestly, yeah. I'm rating it so low
because of how many breakfasts I've had.
I'm thinking, did I fuck up?
37.5.
And man, it really is sort of a disappointing breakfast.
Just kidding.
Don't get the English muffin.
Yeah.
If you're feeling monstery, get the breakfast Baconator.
It's a lot of food, and there's some kind of sauce in there, too,
that really ties it together.
I don't know what it is, but it's got a sauce.
Have you all had breakfast at other places?
Oh, yeah, many times.
Like the Borga?
The Borga King?
No. Or the Borga King? No.
Or the Borga King?
My wife gets McDonald's breakfast probably once a fucking week.
Sorry.
I mean, that isn't McDonald's.
We've all had McDonald's.
We've all had McDonald's.
Yeah.
But I haven't had any other fast food breakfast.
I haven't had Taco Bell breakfast.
Let me tell you this.
Hang on.
Gracie just went Chick-fil-A?
Chick-fil-A has breakfast?
Are you shitting me?
What do they do?
Do they put an egg on the chicken sandwich or what?
It's like, well, they have little chicken minis,
tiny little baby rolls with a nugget.
They have biscuits. They have burritos.
Slaughter them. Ash brown scramble.
This is.
This is.
This is.
This is.
Your day. Gracie's hung. Can I go on? This is fun Today's your day
Gracie's hungry
Time for the chicken little
I will just say I'm not usually
If I'm hungry for breakfast I'm not thinking
Chick-fil-a I'm not thinking
Taco Bell
Sometimes I get hungry and I hate at the same time
And that's when Chick-fil-a is great
Okay
Do you know what I will say you know I will say hold on just hang
on hang on real quick before you know that it's I've had it I love the place I don't recommend
for breakfast because just why I talk about the the Baconators like if you're monster whatever
it's a sandwich Taco Bell breakfast is heinous it's a thing they also introduced breakfast
probably around the same time as Wendy's maybe earlier and it's a heinous thing. They also introduced breakfast probably around the same time
as Wendy's,
maybe earlier.
And it's a real like,
what the fuck are you thinking?
It's just Taco Bell,
but for breakfast.
Like,
I assume they had eggs.
I don't even remember,
but it's,
you just feel like
you're eating tacos
at 9 a.m.
And Taco Bell tacos.
Right.
Not breakfast tacos.
Not a breakfast taco.
Not a breakfast taco.
It's just a Taco Bell taco for breakfast that they somehow add one other element to.
And you're going, I'm just eating a fucking taco at 9 a.m. and I hate myself.
This sounds like.
It's terrible.
I've only done it like once.
This sounds like an opportunity for like a spitting silly series.
Let me dive into some other breakfasts.
Okay.
But for now, we're going to dive into this snack.
I think I know who our sponsor is this episode.
I think you'll be surprised.
Because you just dumped a nuts.com box onto the table.
Whoa, did we get sent a snack from nuts.com?
So here's the thing.
Did our friend at nuts.com send us another one?
We got sent a snack from nuts.com, but we didn't get sent a snack Nuts.com send us another one? We got sent a snack from Nuts.com,
but we didn't get sent a snack from Nuts.com.
It came from Nuts.com.
I'm glad y'all are getting into Nuts.com territory.
Here's what I usually get off of there.
A lowly bug, Ethan, Ghostbaker.
So here's something he ordered from Nuts.com.
So Ethan sent us a a nuts.com order.
Right.
And, and.
And they are the sponsor.
But I need you to know, this has nothing to do with that.
This has nothing to do.
They did not send us this.
But they are sending us stuff.
Right.
It's not here yet.
And it's not this.
This is from Ghost Baker,
who's a fan of our sponsor,
so sent us food of
our sponsor that they
paid for. We need to
be really clear.
Why are we
so good at these accidental
synergenic
sponsor tie-ins?
What is this fucking bag?
I think that's the one we're going to review.
I don't think we're smart enough to pull off something like this if we were to do something like this.
That was planned.
Okay.
Let's never plan it.
We're going to pick one.
We're going to pick one of these from Ethan and review it.
What do we got?
I see some popcorn.
We got white cheddar jalapeno popcorn.
Oh, maybe that's the one.
We got blister peanuts,
which sounds gross.
Japanese peanuts,
which sounds Japanese.
And assorted sixlets,
which sounds like something
you couldn't do
after eating at Wendy's.
Your Honor,
I'm suing for A lack of six
Consortium of sixlets
So this is what
This is what Ethan sent
Put my hand in there
And that's what we're going to review
Is nuts.com
Jalapeno
Cheddar
Popcorn or whatever
The problem is if nuts.com
Keeps hearing about this shit
They're never gonna send us stuff
Yeah that's true
They're gonna go
You're covered
Here we go
Ooh
Do the shake that again
Oh yeah No just put your hand in there Like I did No I wanted the audio Here we go. Ooh. Do the shake that again. Oh, yeah.
No, just put your hand in there like I did.
No, I wanted the audio.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what do you think?
Make that sound with your hand.
Ooh, it's a little spicy.
That's the jalapeno.
Oh.
Oh.
It's spicy, but in a good way.
Eric said, oh.
Dude, that's a bag I can sit down and eat the whole thing
Dude I need some water
But I don't have any so what if instead
I rub peanut butter on my eyelids
It's just like
It's just what I do when I don't have water
Do you think that would trick him
No I think Gracie would recommend root beer
I love white cheddar popcorn Never in a million years No, I think Gracie would recommend root beer.
I love white cheddar popcorn.
Never in a million years would I think that jalapeno would be an ingredient, like part of it.
But boy, does it work.
Like what a concoction.
This is pushing boundaries, breaking breakfast boundaries way more than Wendy's is.
And it's not even a breakfast food.
But it can be.
Yeah, I love that.
What do you give it?
90.
Wow.
90 and he dropped one.
Don't worry, he's going to pick it up.
No, but he didn't eat it.
No, there's plenty more in the back. I would never.
Gracie going back for seconds.
Chris Demiris would absolutely put that in his mouth and eat it.
And he would have been like, ooh, laser team.
That's pretty good.
I'm not really a huge popcorn guy.
Like, at home popcorn.
Yeah, no, I get it.
But, 75.
Okay.
That's an average score of 82.5.
That's pretty good.
If you're into popcorn and albino,
you'll like this a lot.
Thank you, Ethan,
for sending us food from a sponsor
that if you aren't a first subscriber,
you listened to the ad of earlier.
Or if you are a first subscriber,
you still went back just to listen to it
because that's where we hide all the content.
That's where all the content is.
That's where the good part of the show is.
Also, next time Ghostbaker
you buy us GoNuts.com
I like call it GoNuts.com
because I go nuts when I get it.
Maybe send giant bags
of the chocolate gummy bears.
Those chocolate covered gummy bears are
bomb. I'm just saying, if you're already paying for
our sponsor food anyway, just add it to the
order. That's all I'm saying. I do recommend that
like, you know, this is his order
and that's cool. Let us like
influence your order. I mean, like
I appreciate the gift, but get us what we want.
Get us what we want. We're gonna make
what is an Amazon wish list,
but it's gonna be called
a nut list.
Yeah, and Jordan and I are gonna add it to our nut list because if you get the is an Amazon wish list, but it's going to be called a nut list. Yeah, and Jordan and I are going to add it to our nut list
because if you get the things on our nut list, we go nuts.
That's why it's called the nut list.
We also get nuts.
We get nuts.
We go nuts.
I have some muff opinions about that.
Hey, the sunglasses and keychain noisemakers are on sale now
at store.roosterteeth.com.
So are the monkey shorts, which are the most comfortable shorts that we have.
Did that picture of Michael go on the...
I'm sure it didn't.
I think so.
I gave it to him again.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
I gave it to you,
so my job was done.
Did you tell them to put it up there?
Absolutely.
Also, it's already dated now.
No, because...
The photo's already dated now.
Yes, because I gave them...
Yeah, you don't look like that anymore.
I look terrible in that picture.
That's...
You got to send another one.
I'll do it.
I'll send another one.
We'll get that up by next year.
Hey, reminder.
Those shorts, by the way, I gave a pair to Brendan,
one of our security guards here.
He's so fucking stoked.
Dude, we deck him out on all the Face Jam stuff.
He was also wearing the shades at RTX.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He wears like pit vipers all the time.
So we honestly could just make stuff for him specifically
and then sell that to, you know, the clientele of his kind.
There it is.
It is on the website.
Yay.
It's hidden.
So just so you know, when I sent that to the merch team,
I was in a meeting and I said, look, I'm sending this to you.
You're all witnesses that I'm doing this
so that way it goes
on the website. I'm not just
sending you these pictures.
Thank you. See, I never say that.
I just let it fly. Also,
what you can get away with more is you don't send it, you just
show them real quick on your phone.
And then there's no paper trail. Great.
Right. Hey, reminder, September
8th at 11 a.m.
Face Jam Food Court live.
We're going to be doing a live.
When is it?
Friday, September 8th.
Okay.
At 11 a.m.
Does that work for you?
You said September and then I heard 11 a.m.
Whoa.
I thought for a second.
Oh, 11 a.m.
Okay.
September 8th.
Gotcha.
Never forget.
Okay.
What's about to happen?
We are going to release the... On the 8th.
The official food court gavel,
which you can buy.
We will use for our rulings.
You can buy,
and you can temporarily rule
on your friend's food conundrums
and then send them in.
Why is it temporary?
Because they don't get the final word.
That's you guys.
Right.
So what power they get through the gavel
is like a minor ruling. Right. We what power they get through the gavel is like a minor ruling.
Right.
We had to be very clear about that.
It's more like-
This is not-
You don't become a judge.
I would say, maybe not temporary, maybe it's like a placeholder judgment.
Okay, mm-hmm.
Right?
Like it won't wear off until we come in.
Right.
A lower court ruling.
That's good.
We'll come in.
We'll veto it.
We'll stomp on your rights.
We'll stomp on their rights.
It doesn't matter. I'm on the Supreme Supreme Court and I'm friends with a billionaire Suck my dick, motherfucker
Yeah, he gives me a bunch of stuff
What the fuck are you going to do about it?
No ethics committee can control the Supreme Court
I am supreme
And it's not a problem
It's fine
It's fine, what are you going to do?
We're going to regulate each other Right I'll watch you, you watch me It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. What are you going to do? We're going to regulate each other.
Right.
I'll watch you.
You watch me.
It's a perfect system.
You'll take me on a vacation.
I'll take you on a vacation.
Follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date with everything on Instagram, on Twitter.
Check us out.
And then Spittin' Silly will be out next week.
Email Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com.
Let Gracie know your food conundrum so that way she can look at them and be like, this one's not that weird
and it'll be fucking weird. And let Eric know your muff
pinions.
Oh man, what a...
All my muff pinions go in the butter gutter. Yeah, man.
Face
Jam is, uh...
It's a very good show and it's for
mature, serious...
It's just something, it's just a fun for mature, serious people. It's just something.
It's just a fun morning show to listen to on your drive to work.
Logan Roy would look at this and go, these are serious people.
Yeah, he'd give us that last speech standing on a box of paper.
And we'd be like, this guy rules.
He's taking us to the top.
That's why I don't use the bathroom in airplanes
rate and subscribe and tell everyone
about the show where we eat food and rate the food
and sometimes talk about Tron
thanks for listening
bye everybody
I'm in the foreground
Shiv it doesn't look good
They're uh
They're working on him
And uh
He hasn't been breathing for three and a half hours
It doesn't look good
He was in the bathroom
Just don't Shiv
I think
You should get up here in the sky I think you should get up here in the sky.
I think you should fly up into this plane now.
I think he's gone.
Fuck off.
What about Connor's wedding? I'll see you next time.