100% Eat - Wendy's Loaded Nacho Burger

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

In honor of the 100th episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz do their first ever back to back where they are returning to Wendy’s to try the new Loaded Nacho Burger so you know if it's worth eatin...g. They also talk about their hatred for Burger King, heartburn cures, reminisce on the life of Face Jam, the still hospitalized Wendy's accuser, and more. Follow us on Twitter twitter.com/facejampod and Instagram instagram.com/facejampod Sponsored by DoorDash Download the DoorDash app and enter code JAMMERSFALL to get 50% off your first order (up to a $20 value) and zero delivery fees , Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACEJAM , and Nuts.com (go to http://nuts.com/facejam to receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Fast Food, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my jammin' co-host, Jordan. Jordan, how are you? Hey, I'm good. Boom! Wow, just another wacky morning here. You're like almost Alex Jones-style red right now. Honestly, I was already that shade because I was in the sun this weekend.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Oh, that'll do it. I realized just when I went movie before we started, man, I'm pink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went from pink to red. I'll tell you what, though. I'm getting big and red. That big? Whoa, Alex Jones-style.
Starting point is 00:00:43 You get big first and then you get red. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't explain that part very clearly. I got a lot more pink to do. Yeah. I'm going to and red. That big? Whoa, Alex Jones style. You get big first and then you get red. Yeah. They didn't explain that part very clearly. I got a lot more big to do. I'm going to picture it. AJ. I'm actually fucking it up. You're getting small and red and now you have to get bigger and red.
Starting point is 00:00:57 You're in a bulk. You're in a red bulk. Jordan, what in God's name are we doing here? We're recording our 100th episode of face jam first and foremost and second and foremost i believe our first ever uh like repeat in a row i don't know what to call it yeah i was really i guess back to back yeah we'll call it a back to back yeah fuck that one up it's not yet a three pete but, but it could be. It shouldn't be. It won't be.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Here's the thing. Here's the sticky. Eric picked out this terrible Wendy's thing. It was not only not good. It was breakfast. It was because of what time we had to record. It was not only not good food, but it was not a good
Starting point is 00:01:42 food item. And then like the next day or two days later, get in my mail like a regular normal guy does going to my normal guy mailbox. Right. And I got a normal style. Yeah. I don't know why we have to specify, but yeah. Well, because I'm a regular human man getting my regular human mail.
Starting point is 00:02:02 It's delivered to me. It's not. I go pick it up. At the mailbox. At the mailbox style with all the other schmoes. We converse. We hang out. I'm normal. So anyway, I get my normal flyer and it says, hey idiot,
Starting point is 00:02:16 why'd you eat that shitty English muffin? We got a nacho macho burger. Something like that. Yeah. Or wait. Wendy's loaded nacho burger. Pretty close. They should have called it the Macho Nacho. Macho Nacho would be really cool, actually. And then in the promotional artwork, they could have put a mustache on it. That's true.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Yeah. But I went, wow, why the fuck didn't we eat this? It was breakfast, man. Stupid Eric. Stupid Eric, I said to myself. Took a picture of it. And then Nick started frothing immediately. And it was like, let's just do Wendy's again.
Starting point is 00:02:46 And yeah, it kind of worked out because it was like, just throw the rules out the window because it's... It's the 100th episode, baby. We can do a repeat. It means nothing. Man, we'd be in trouble. No, we would just come up with a different excuse. Another reason of why we're doing it.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Wendy's is definitely the restaurant that we break the rules for the most. Yeah, we're willing to review the same food twice. We reviewed the same food. Well, last time they broke my heart is what happened with that shitty bun. Yeah. Yeah. And then to add insult to injury, we then immediately, for Spittin' Silly,
Starting point is 00:03:16 the show that's on this very same feed, ate Chick-fil-A breakfast, which was delicious. It was very good. Fantastic. That was Gracie's choice. She just, like, fist She just fist pumped herself. Like again, like I said in Spensillia, there was never a doubt for me.
Starting point is 00:03:32 I sold the unsellable. It was posting about it online and on our socials and being like, this was Gracie's choice. She picked Chick-fil-A and no one commenting on the food. Everyone commenting, is that, this was Gracie's choice. She picked Chick-fil-A and everyone, no one commenting on the food. Everyone commenting. Is that how you spell Gracie's name? Everyone.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Oh, that's true. We finally revealed it because in the past we would just say Gracie with a Y, but not where you think. And so people would go Y, G. That's not right. I will. You know what? I don't even concede that Wendy's was bad. Because it's not my choice.
Starting point is 00:04:11 No, it was bad. But it wasn't my choice. He will concede, in fact. Right. Concede is not the word I will use because I was not wrong. We have to eat... We were eating something based on the time of day
Starting point is 00:04:22 in which we were recording Boom Breakfast. I'm just saying. It was just really bad timing. just really bad time here's how i somebody must pay for it here's how i think of why am i oh my god here's how i think of face jam we got to eat something yeah someone says we should eat something if it's bad we hammer that person that was you that's as simple as it is now i said hey we got this nacho burger and it's bad hammer me i'll pass it to you. Now, I will say that usually when we go and get the food, we get in the car. And then as we're driving, Michael goes, what are we getting?
Starting point is 00:04:53 Where are we going? I mean, Michael knew. I did. Today he knew. So rare is the providence from Michael himself. It happens. It's the only way I can stay in the loop is if I start the loop. And again, just so everyone's clear, the lines of communication
Starting point is 00:05:09 are firm and easy. Yeah, but it's not necessary is my point. If this were a hindrance, then I would investigate. But whether I know what we're eating or not, we're gonna go eat it. It's not that I actively avoid it, but I certainly don't seek it out. And no show thrives off the chaos like this one which is for sure imagine showing up are you ready for the food
Starting point is 00:05:30 no you're not ready did you read your script at least but don't worry nick saw that we were doing wendy's again and went insane monkey mode so okay all right I will say this. I don't know if this is a spoiler. Immediate heartburn. I am feeling it. Oh, you feeling it? Go eat like 100 Tums. They're in the medicine thing out there. It could be because I had two.
Starting point is 00:05:58 It's true. Wait, hang on. On top of the third fries? Look. It's something, as we're sitting here laughing, I knew we'd bring it up. I don't know how to explain how it's funny, but it was just so goddamn funny the way it was like, the way he brought it up, danced around it,
Starting point is 00:06:17 but was like, I know I'm missing out on secret fries somewhere. But the second he started talking, everyone immediately knew he was wrong. And he slowly realized it second he started talking, everyone immediately knew he was wrong. And there was no, like, we're talking about, and he slowly realized it as he was talking. I do like the recognition of the fact that he's not curious about, like, what
Starting point is 00:06:33 the thing is. It's like, it's, what am I missing out on? What are you trying to hide from me? So here's what happened. We went to, we went to Wendy's, and we ordered the food. I said, and this is how, again, before we left, I went, hey, you ordered it already? You're ordering it there.
Starting point is 00:06:47 He said, oh, right there. I went, excellent. I'm going to add extra food. He said, I'm going to get extra food. I said, okay. So we showed up. Windows XP was rebooting on some TVs. Yes, it was.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Factual statement. Windows XP said, welcome to Windows. It looked to be frozen. I'm going to be honest. It was not running. Well, it started and then it went to what I assume it's supposed to be, which is a black screen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:09 How come no one at Wendy's knew how to run a DOS prompt to get those billboards back up? So we got there, immediately saw that, went, all right, well, that's not going to work. And then on our way in, I said, just so we're all clear, we're getting the loaded nacho spicy chicken not the burger and it was like yeah absolutely as as we have said every time it's wendy's that's what you have to get it that way so we go up to order and before michael michael just goes
Starting point is 00:07:37 we're getting spicy chicken yeah give me cheeseburger too what oh and i'm like oh so michael's the only one who tried both the chicken version and the burger version of the sandwich but next man but what happened it's furious but what happened is that nick thought we ordered secret french fries something happened and then came over as we were eating there were queso fries and he's like oh yeah forks okay cool because i asked him to get forks and then he's like, oh, okay. And then like... So what's the third fry? Yeah, what's like the other fry that you got? You got a third thing. Queso? And he's like, no, no,
Starting point is 00:08:12 like the third, you got like a third fry? And we all just kind of looked at him. We're all just staring at him and now he's immediately backtracking. He's like, no, no, there's no fry? No, what was it? What did you get? Was it Michael things? Or what was it? It was just him like fumbling going, oh, what am I doing? There's something, but it's not... What did I get wrong? What did you get? Was it Michael things? Or what was it? It was just him like fumbling going, oh, what am I doing? There's something, but it's not what I thought.
Starting point is 00:08:27 What did I get wrong? What did I get wrong? It was so delightful. He really thought he was missing out on more Wendy's, I guess? Well, and then after we ate the food and we were kind of cleaning up, enough time had passed for Michael. Michael just kind of starts grabbing around, like looking for something. And like, we're talking.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yeah. And like, Michael's just doing this in the background, like amongst us. And Eric just finally goes, what, do you need something? And Michael goes, where's the third fry? Just enough time had passed that we forgot about it. I just can't help myself.
Starting point is 00:09:05 And poor Nick is just like, going up to the roof. Yeah, he did. I don't know what he was doing up there. Nick was ready to do a flip. Oh my God. Oh, fuck. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Queso fries, huh? Yeah, so that's part of it, I guess. I mean, I didn't really write anything about it. Like the skeletons to David S. Pumpkins? They are part of it, I guess? I mean, I didn't really write anything about it. Like the skeletons to David S. Pumpkins? They are part of it. However, David S. Pumpkins is the loaded nacho burger, and the skeletons are definitely the queso fries. Wendy's usually does this, where they make a burger,
Starting point is 00:09:36 and then they go, and then that's shit on the fries. They did it with the pub. It's true. I know they've done it before. You got slop? Slop it over there. Yeah. I kind of see their point, though.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Their extra slop. It'd be a waste to not slop it on the fries because you're going to get monsters like us going, hey, I got the slop burger and the slop chicken. You got them slop fries? You know what? Usually, if you have the Wendy's app, that's usually the reward in the Wendy's app is the slop fries. It'll be like a free upgrade from regular fries to slop fries.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And man, it's hard to turn down slop fries. It's hard. The only reason that the only time it's easy to turn down slop fries. It's hard. The only reason that the only time it's easy to be like, no, is if you're going to suck them down on the way home. Okay. Because you can't. You just can't eat them. I was about to say the same thing. I fucking hate being
Starting point is 00:10:16 messy when I eat food. I took one bite of this fucking burger and it was all over my face. I hated it. Well, I opened mine and the bun slid right off. Poor Jordan. Don't look at Face Jam Pod. Don't look at these pictures.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Poor Jordan. Just looking at this fucking heat. I opened it. He unwrapped it. It looked like somebody threw it on the fucking idiot. I could only laugh. The burger was like little roaches running from the light when you opened it, and it just sort of disassembled itself.
Starting point is 00:10:47 There were like little corn pieces and little like tostada strips or whatever they put on it, like just strewn about. Fucking weird. It was so much so where I opened mine, and I went, mine didn't Jordan at all. No, it was all together. It was a burger. Yeah, Jordan got one that looked like it was just fucking like scramming. Like it was out of here. When we were talking about getting this,
Starting point is 00:11:07 the word is monstrosity. Right, because that was it too. I didn't just look at it. I didn't look at it, you know, back in my normal guy flyer thing. I didn't go, oh, another thing. It went, look at this piece of shit. You know, it was hideous. And I immediately took a picture and I sent it.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And everyone freaked out. It was just like, wow, how do we look away? When you're in the restaurant ordering, they have such a big picture of it behind the cashier and stuff. You can't look away. You're just looking at it going,
Starting point is 00:11:40 that looks like such a mess and that's the best they could make it look. Yeah. It's not going to look that good. Yeah. As you know, I opened it.
Starting point is 00:11:49 And so you just know it's going to be worse than, than what it looks like, you know, to the point where maybe you could sue them for it, which is, which is what people are doing to restaurants. We'll learn more about that in the facts. Oh,
Starting point is 00:12:00 cool. It's very interesting. Michael's dying from the heartburn. It's the heartburn. That's fine. It I'll beat it. very interesting. Michael's dying from the heartburn. It's the heartburn. That's fine. I'll beat it. Jammers, you guys don't know this.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I need more pizza. I'll cancel it out. My wife used to live with someone who when he would get heartburn. That's some people, yes. This guy would, when he would get heartburn, he would drink orange juice because it had calcium.
Starting point is 00:12:28 That seems weird. I have a sore throat. Can I get some orange juice? What the fuck? It's just like, ugh. It just seems so acidic. It is. Because it is.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Jordan, there's a reason it seems that way. But why does he think that's the solution? Because he's an idiot. But also, it's not like a thing you find out later. No. It hurts when you drink it. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:50 Ow! It's actively a bad idea. Ow! Feeling better. Regretful idea or like things that matter later, I get that. Maybe someone screams, put down that ice cream, and I say, try to make me. I don't scream on the way down. I scream with joy
Starting point is 00:13:05 orange juice like again I think of a sore throat and I'll be there'll be mornings where I go I wish I could have some orange juice and I'm an idiot so that's uh anyway made me think of that jammers were going back to your first point jammers were going ape
Starting point is 00:13:23 not like him, that we ate the Wendy's McMuffin and not this thing. Because they're right. That was a piece of shit. No, they are right, but they also act like we can't just go ahead and get it.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Mm-hmm. Also, we'll fucking show them. Here's the other thing, too. Was that even out yet when we ate the breakfast thing? What's that, the loaded nacho thing? Yeah. No, I hadn't seen it on the menus yet.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Because we were talking about the crossover was beginning with the pub being phased down. And here's the other thing too which is why I didn't understand it. He kept saying we didn't eat it because of breakfast. We didn't eat it because it wasn't out yet. No, I'm saying that's the reason we chose Wendy's breakfast. You're saying it was bad breakfast.
Starting point is 00:14:01 I mean it was. But also this other thing was not out yet. Right, because we were getting breakfast. Yeah, but I feel like Eric should have known that something was coming down the pipe. He should have. He should have said, this week we'll do this. I knew about the loaded nacho thing. That's why it's still his fault. So you admit that you fumbled this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:14:16 No, the breakfast was we were doing breakfast. I didn't know until my regular mailbox told me about it. Right. Which was apparently weeks after him. He keeps saying regular mailbox. Yeah, because people think that a butler brings it on a plate like a silver platter.
Starting point is 00:14:29 You're a regular Joe who goes down to his mailbox I assume at the end of the series. I get in the golf cart and I drive to the mailbox. Do we still have the open the gates? Do we still have the monkey butler shirt? That was like a exclusive somewhere. A print on demand thing It was an RTX thing, but I think there were some that, startoutroosterteeth.com is where you can find our monkey butler shirt a It was an exclusive somewhere A print on demand thing It was an RTX thing
Starting point is 00:14:45 But I think there were some That Startoutroosterteeth.com Is where you can find Our Monkey Butler shirt It was for A show that we were going to do And then ended up not doing
Starting point is 00:14:52 Yeah But we love the design So we're like Oh use this That's another thing That we should We're not making Monkey Butler
Starting point is 00:14:57 What do you mean We're not making Monkey Butler The sitcom The sitcom No like It's a Mr. Belvedere It's a Mr. Belvedere
Starting point is 00:15:03 Type situation Monkey Butler Okay Eric fucked up I agree with that I was just That The sitcom? The sitcom? No, like, it's a Mr. Belvedere type situation. Monkey Butler. Okay. Eric fucked up. I agree with that. I agree with that. Do you know what? It's still the Wendy's thing.
Starting point is 00:15:10 I mean, yeah, he's definitely talking about Wendy's breakfast. He's talking about everything. He's talking about everything. Okay. All of it. All right. So we have Gracie now. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:15:19 We're good. We're good. Right. Oh, my God. It's so quiet. That's right. She sounded as pleased as the woman who gave us the burgers well i don't think was mad at us but was mad boy she well yeah we determined
Starting point is 00:15:32 that the woman who gave us the food no the burgers not the food that's right the fries the first woman brought out she said you ordered for here to go and she had a bag and we went eric and i are looking at her And we both Without saying anything Thought Well that's not our food Yes
Starting point is 00:15:48 It's a single bag It's way too small There's no way that's our food And she went Is it for here to go And we all just Kind of sat in silence Like that's not really
Starting point is 00:15:56 The question we asked Yeah it seemed like A bad question to ask You asked what kind of Fucking food you ordered Anyone here could be here Oh I'm the to-go guy You must be the one and only
Starting point is 00:16:04 And it's a weird question. So we're just staring, and he just goes, we got the five burgers. Yeah. And she stares a little more and just goes, these are your fries. And we're like, what the fuck didn't you start with that? I screamed inside my own head. Michael pointed out, like,
Starting point is 00:16:20 lead with, hey, you guys ordered the fries, here are your two fries. It was very strange. Hey, for years ago, we already ordered. Yeah. Here are your two fries. It was very strange. Hey, for years ago, we already ordered. Yeah. We're not changing. That question's been asked and answered. I know that we were sitting on the four recliners inside of a Wendy's.
Starting point is 00:16:33 There were four recliners inside of this Wendy's. I know that we looked very comfortable, but we were trying to skeet at them. We needed to get out. We needed to come record the show, and I didn't want to eat there. It was very weird. And then the woman who came and brought our sandwiches i thought she looked upset and then it was quickly pointed out to me that she wasn't mad she was just working at wendy's right the end she probably had like eight hours to go yeah she was just going fucking working at wendy's yeah it was more the fact that like she probably still to keep
Starting point is 00:17:02 working there for the day yeah she's like you guys get to leave however I am working at the weekend. I wish I could get my job to go. But walked over, two big bags, and immediately I went, well, those are our burgers. Yeah, exactly. I also want to point out that the sign outside, T-Y-R, T-Y-R, T-Y-R, our new ghost, P-P-R, no E, K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K Tear. Our new ghost pipper. No E. Kicken. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Kicken. Combo. Combo. Kicken. C-K-I-K-E-N. It's literally all over the place. T-Y-R P-E-P-P-R Tear it. Tear. Pipper. Kicken.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Tear it. you'll leak it something to me something like in a very sauce monkey way he just goes tear he was in a prison yes we've all played God of War
Starting point is 00:17:59 I didn't hear that I heard it I heard it I just kept walking. Very tall. Very tall, tiered. Big baby. Also, spoiler alert. It wasn't him. Whoa! Anyway, Jordan's haiku. Maybe he didn't get that far.
Starting point is 00:18:17 I have a special double haiku for the 100th episode. I just had so many thoughts I wanted to put in. So it goes like this. Foods punished and praised. Voodoo van and monkey man threw it all unfazed.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Pubs lost and regained in the century gone by. Heroes we remain. Wow, that was beautiful, Jordan. Way to go. That was so much rhyming in that book. Yeah, there was a whole
Starting point is 00:18:49 like, it was... Spruced it up. Yeah, dude. It wasn't even just about Wendy's. Wendy's was included via pub. However, that was face jam encapsulated. 100 episodes. It makes me wonder what the fact sheet would be like if he tried half as that. I wrote it this morning.
Starting point is 00:19:04 To Wendy's, top chicken. I thought about a time score. Yeah, one thing I thought of was like, well, Eric won't have to look very far back to know the last time we ate. Glancing at it, this has to be the best previous date ever.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Okay. Our previous Wendy's episode was released August 29th, 2023 where we ate the English muffin sandwiches. It received an average score of 37.5. Terrible. This came out about a week ago. I was so excited because I went, I still don't know the specific numbers,
Starting point is 00:19:40 but I know I went way lower than Jordan. You did. I probably was like 25. You were like 26. It really pissed me off. Those English muffins, the more I think about them, the angrier I get. Gracie picked up the food.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Okay. Yeah, at whose behest? Come on now. That sucks. That's just flailing wild. Well, yeah, I'm taking swings, baby. You're with Nick. Third fries situation. That was, yeah, I'm taking swings, baby. You're with Nick. Third fries situation. That was, um, why didn't you get him
Starting point is 00:20:10 third fries? Most of the comments were either about how to spell Grazy's name, that we didn't eat the nacho sandwich, or how soft the English muffin looked. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:27 You're right. it was so soft. No nooks, no crannies. None. Neither. Neither a nook nor cranny. You eat with your eyes first. Yep. You know?
Starting point is 00:20:34 And people could just tell. What if you eat with your eyes only? First and last. Just kind of open right up. Little crunchies. Yeah. Do a little. I don't know that the, I don't know the pieces of corn would fit in there, Jordan. Oh, that would be unpleasant.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Weirdest thing to have on a hamburger. Anyway, go ahead. Quick updates. Yep. This is a new section to the fact sheet. This is episode 100. That's a fact. Wendy's discontinued the pretzel pub.
Starting point is 00:20:58 That one woman is still in the hospital and still can't fuck. Sad. She's still in the hospital from something? Yep. What could be anything from anything? Potentially E. coli or litany of other things. Potentially anything. No, she was there. She just hasn't left. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:21:13 It's only been a week. Do you think that's going to strengthen her case? Where she's like, the longer I'm here, the more credible it'll be. I think that's definitely what she's thinking. Classic dumb guy logic. If I'm in the hospital longer, that means I'm sicker and everyone has to believe me. And I'll get so much attention.
Starting point is 00:21:36 That's all this is. Oh, the newspaper wrote about me. Oh, I don't have E. coli. I meant it's an intestine. She's not bragging about the newspaper. She's bragging about two episodes in a row. Whoa! This lady's face jam
Starting point is 00:21:53 tradition. She's up there like R.B. Sickmelt guy. Yeah, and Ariel. Well, she's down at the bottom of the stairs, if I recall. Isn't that what we decided? Didn't she fall down the stairs? if I recall. Isn't that what we decided? Was that like 75 episodes ago? It was like within the first 10, I think.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Truly. It's a very different show. I hope she's okay. It doesn't sound that different, honestly. What are you talking about? Before that, maybe. The first five were very different. Yeah, the first. If you listen to the first episode, weird one.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Gotcha. Really weird one. Really about the food. Face Jam unfuckable is what Nick has written. Hang on. Hang on. I wasn't sure what that means. How long was that up there?
Starting point is 00:22:33 I wasn't looking up, and so I thought that was one continuous thought that he had when he was talking about the show. Listen to the first episode. Listen to the first episode. Totally different. Face Jam unfuckable. And I was about to to go what does that mean do we call it the michael jordan podcast in the first one no we did that in the pilot that's why
Starting point is 00:22:51 like it's like i don't even think i wasn't i consider the pilot episode one though i mean it is but it's not is that on it's like that on like the rss feed it's up there but it's totally different like the we definitely call it the Michael Jordan podcast. Dude, remember that? Remember we had to make our own logo? Oh, yeah. Because the show was coming out and logos were... We didn't have to, but you did.
Starting point is 00:23:15 You were like, I'll make this. Logos were not getting made. Well, podcasts were not getting made, so we just had to do something. That's why it looks so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, if you make something bad enough, that really wakes up the people who need to fix it. Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%. Once you start hanging flags,
Starting point is 00:23:30 people start paying attention. Well, when, yeah, when you start... Where is our flag? Hey, is episode 100 a good time to reveal our flag? No. Uh, no, it's not. Anyway, next fact. It's like not revealing it makes it sound way worse. Yeah. It's true.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Third fact. A class action lawsuit against Burger King over the size of its advertised whopper is able to go ahead after a judge refused to throw out the case. With this ruling, every fast food restaurant, including Wendy's, may be pulled into a class action suit
Starting point is 00:24:01 and could be forced to advertise what they actually serve, which, judging by the look of what we ate today, is going to cost them fucking billions. It's true. Imagine if Jordan's burger was the thing they had to advertise with. Yeah, they're just like, just don't fuck it up. We get one picture. We get one shot at this, and then the bun just slides off.
Starting point is 00:24:22 It's like, oh, we got to put this everywhere now. I feel like you'd lose some Jordans, but you wouldn't lose a lot of Michaels. No, no, no, no. You know what I mean? No. But the thing is. You'd lose some for sure. They don't want to lose the Jordans, though, because that's all they're gripping onto because the Michaels are coming no matter what.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Right. And I'll tell you. They can't keep me away. I'll tell you, with Wendy's, the Jordans are going. I go to Wendy's like. That's like, you know, every other week. That's true. A Wendy's Jordan loss is much heavier than, say, like another more slop-a-dilly restaurant. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:24:53 This isn't your grandpa's slop fest. This is more refined slop fest, which is why, like, seeing the picture of this burger made me question whether or not I still like Wendy's. Yeah. Because I was like, Wendy's, you're supposed to be a little bit above this. Why are you going slop fest? Yeah, Wendy's, I don't think slop. Except with their slop fries.
Starting point is 00:25:17 This seems beneath them. Except their slop fries, but I'll give you that even then. They put their slop fries in a plastic container with a lid. It's a nice little container. And that's about as contained as a slop like that can be. The, the thing I think about having to advertise what you actually sell, which they should be doing is that it,
Starting point is 00:25:36 it affects a whole industry of commercial like advertisers who hire companies that do like crazy tricky shit yeah they like put gloss on the food and like uh other things that like just make the the cheese look different as you do the cheese pull and stuff but i also think that they should absolutely be advertising what they're selling yeah because if people i think it will finally affect people in the right way where they'll stop going to Burger King because they'll go man I think I want to eat Burger King and they'll see a commercial where the guy's going whopper whopper whopper
Starting point is 00:26:12 but it's actually a whopper and they go these whoppers are so sad I don't think I want that it was so early in the fact I didn't want to I didn't want to go off track and not be able to pull it back but when I got to the part where you wrote that a judge refused to throw out the case, I was going to say something, but he
Starting point is 00:26:30 did throw out his Burger King. Absolutely. He encourages you to do the same. He realized the Whopper wasn't as big. He doesn't have legal authority to make you do it, but it is the right decision to throw your trash Burger King in the fucking garbage. I do want to point out that we also are operating
Starting point is 00:26:45 under the correct assumption that holding them accountable in this way doesn't mean they will make the food look better to meet the standards of the advertising. They won't have to lower the standard of the advertising because they will not be trying harder.
Starting point is 00:27:02 No, no, no. Why would they? The Michaels are still coming yeah the uh the thing i liked about this court case was burger king tried to get it uh thrown out so it's a uh one guy just went like this isn't what the fuck the whopper looks like and he's suing them burger king went well americans know that what's being advertised and what they receive what like they're not expecting that. And then the judge went, we'll let a jury of Americans let us know what Americans think. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:31 And Burger King went, fuck. It's going to be bad. I think it's going to affect like an industry. It's going to be a thing in 10 years where we talk about it and we go, remember how commercials used to look. There's going to be a Vox video about like, why do fast food advertisements look like this? Yeah. Well, 10 years ago, there was like.
Starting point is 00:27:57 It's going to be weird. Yeah. But that's why the Spung Monkeys can do whatever they want because you don't even know what a Quizno sandwich looks like, but in my head it's fine. Those Spung Monkeys are as advertised. Yep, absolutely. I know what the fuck they want. Because I don't even know what a Quizno sandwich looks like. But in my head, it's fine. Those Spunk Monkeys are as advertised. Yep, absolutely. I know what the fuck they are. Now, this could be bad news for any fast food chain.
Starting point is 00:28:11 But man, it's Burger King. Yeah, Burger King's fucked. Put me on that jury. Because here's the thing. Send me jury duty. I will make them pay. I think Taco Bell's also in trouble. I think their shit's so small and ugly that Taco Bell is fucking heinous.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Yeah, for sure. For sure. I think McDonald's is going to skate because it doesn't matter. McDonald's can do a pretty good job, though. If you put a Big Mac down. A lot of times McDonald's gives you food that looks like shit, but you can make a Big Mac look pretty close to a Big Mac. They kind of future-proofed on that shit. And I feel like.
Starting point is 00:28:44 And they do all the, every time, they're ahead ofproofed on that shit. And I feel like... And like they do all the... Every time they're ahead of Burger King in that regard, they will be fine, Burger King will suffer. Again, the fact that it's McDonald's is McDonald's and someone's eating Burger King. What the fuck? Go to McDonald's! Stop paying on us!
Starting point is 00:28:59 It's like some motherfucker in Mario Kart is just fucking up the guy in third place and you're like, Asshole! Get a fucking blue shell! This guy is, you're just helping him! They're getting away! That's pretty great.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Who else do you think is going to be fine? I think Popeyes will probably be fine. Oh yeah, Popeyes will be fine. I mean, chicken's hard, right? Just like straight chicken. If you just fry it so it's dark and crispy, it'll be fine. KFC will be fine. I mean, chicken's hard, right? Yeah. Just like straight chicken. If you just fry it so it's dark and crispy, it'll be fine. KFC will be fine, I think.
Starting point is 00:29:28 I mean, maybe not. Arby's, honestly, they will be fine. Yeah, I think mostly because they're just way flatter than I think about. I guess that's true.
Starting point is 00:29:37 It's very flat. All their photos are like, the meats are piled up high. Yeah, and it's definitely not. Yeah, at least you get a pile of meat, though. I'm not a Burger King frequenter, but I do think Taco Bell's probably the worst
Starting point is 00:29:47 hands. Here's the thing, I like Taco Bell's food way better than Burger King, but I mean it looks like shit and is like 30% less. Or like 30% of what the picture is. It's microscopic. How often are you looking at what you're eating from Taco Bell before you're just fucking covering it in sauce
Starting point is 00:30:03 and scarfing it down? I don't look at the potato soft taco. It's gone in two bites. Like, that's it. I try to cover it up anyway. I don't even want to. I couldn't even know if I wanted to because it's loaded with fucking extra cheese and sour cream. Hell yeah. I can't even see what's under there. That's it. That's probably something in there. Supreme style. Yep. Well,
Starting point is 00:30:19 no tomatoes. Oh. There you go. Michael was also very adamant about removing the tomato on this burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't, I wasn't going to go through the problem of not ordering it. We were looking at that big picture and talking about what a mess it's going to be and you went,
Starting point is 00:30:36 I'm going to have to take that tomato off too. The whole thing's going to fall apart. Yeah, and I was like, all that, whatever that sauce shit that's all over that picture is coming off with the tomato. And it did. I kind of wiped a little bit back on. But look, we're ordering four chicken sandwiches, an extra burger, maybe secret fries. I'm not going to go changing
Starting point is 00:30:52 it by adding or removing toppings, but I will pick them off myself. I can't wait for the end of this episode when the secret fries come out and it's justified. And it's going to be so bad. And fucking Nick bought them. Yeah. I thought you were onto me. You pull them out of his pocket.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Well, I saw you buying something, so I bought something. I self-prophesized the fries that I bought. And now he's thinking. That was a fun detour in the middle of the fight. In Topeka, Kansas, yesterday. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:31:33 That's not the location. That's the time. Yep. A semi-truck jumped the curb and got stuck in a Wendy's drive-thru. This is what qualifies for news in Kansas and what qualifies for Wendy's News for Face Jam when we do the same restaurant twice in a row. Dude, did you see that headline and just go, finally, something? Oh, it was on the third page of news. I went deep trying to find anything that was interesting.
Starting point is 00:32:02 And it was like, semi-truck tried to go through the drive-thru, jumped the curb in Oasis. And it was just like, there was a picture. And then it was an article that said, semi-truck jumped the curb at the Wendy's. And then you scroll down and it said, we asked why and what happened. Don't know yet.
Starting point is 00:32:22 More news to come. And it was like, breaking news. Turns out they was hungry, but too big. There's the story. That's all it was. Would you believe that something like this happened to me very recently? What? Not in the truck, but it caused a Wendy's related problem for me.
Starting point is 00:32:40 What happened? So I was trying to go to the Wendy's on Airport that's there by the 290 Oh yeah, it was Airport Boulevard not at an airport. Yeah, Airport Boulevard Next to Panda Express. Yep. And so there's a highway that ends like right there and all these lanes converge
Starting point is 00:32:57 and an overpass kind of ends and there's also a car dealership right there across the street and I guess one of those big trucks that that haul all the cars was coming out of there and fucked up somehow and ended up blocking every lane. People couldn't get off the freeway. People couldn't go down Koenig. And so everyone was being diverted into the Wendy's parking lot. So when I drive up from the other direction
Starting point is 00:33:27 and I'm like, I'm going to go into Wendy's and then... Here comes a Jordan. I'm in the Wendy's. And all these cars are in the parking lot. Jordan's going, look at all these Michaels. That's a little weird.
Starting point is 00:33:43 That's a little weird. It's like it's past the lunch rush a little bit. I don't know why everyone's leaving the Wendy's. They must really want these English muffins. And then I couldn't even like, I couldn't even like, I was like, I cannot eat at this one. Yeah. I need to get out of here. But I couldn't go out of like on KDig because that's where the truck was.
Starting point is 00:34:02 That's where I saw it. So then I had to back out and I was like, I really want Wendy's, though. Like, what am I going to do? And then I was like, oh, there's one down the street. So you just go down airport to the one at the Hancock Center. You went to the one that we went to. Yeah, and I went to that one instead. That was really, that's a Jordan.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I mean, like, he was determined to get that Wendy's. Yeah. I like that. I mean, what'd you get? Spicy chicken. Yeah, hell yeah. And they got a freestyle there, and they were out of vanilla Coke, so I tried peach Sprite. What was that?
Starting point is 00:34:30 What the fuck? It was pretty good, actually. Really? Yeah. Weird. It was so orange, though. Like, unsettlingly orange. My wife ordered McDonald's this morning, and they didn't have-
Starting point is 00:34:40 Did she get her breakfast order? Did she get a giant Coke? What was it? She ordered- It's a large coke, her sausage biscuit And hash brown She was getting it delivered McDonald's To my home
Starting point is 00:34:53 And the person messaged and went like Their soda doesn't work for you What does that person mean? And she read it out loud and I just went Like you specifically? They knew who it was. It's like, we're done. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:35:06 We're not doing this anymore. They did the Ken thing from the barbie movie. They were just like, nope. So they sent her an orange juice and she's like, wow, that's not a replacement for it. Does she have heartburn? No. I told her to save it for when we weren't feeling good later. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:35:24 It's got calcium. So sad. I should have told her to save it for when we weren't feeling good later. Yeah, exactly. It's got calcium. So sad. I should have told her to get peach Sprite. So now again, none of the soda worked? None. You don't, okay, because you don't replace soda with an orange juice. No, no, I think the orange juice was just a separate thing. Because they also didn't have coffee.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I told her when she was eating, no, when she was, because I ordered. They're all different machines. Yeah. When she gets, when she gets McDonald's like that,'re all different machines yeah when she gets curious when she gets mcdonald's like that i'll just tell her like give me like a large coffee because i could just drink mcdonald's coffee black and it just kind of like keeps me going they didn't even get the coffee like they're well i think they were just out of liquid they're wet yeah unless they wanted to make the coffee with orange juice which which they shouldn't. Could you? You shouldn't. We should try.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Hey, if you can dip a vanilla Oreo in root beer. FaceJampot at RoosterTeeth.com. Let us know if we're food court. Hey, right before we ate Wendy's, I had oatmeal with chocolate milk. Did you really? We didn't have milk. That's a food court. Well, that's what
Starting point is 00:36:21 I ate. How was it? How'd that turn out? It was fine. Would you email a podcast about it? No. Yeah, I didn't think so. Here's the other problem, too. Because it was chocolate milk, I didn't want to overdo it. I underdid it. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And so I was eating the oatmeal. It was thick enough, but then, like, I could really tell it wasn't enough liquid because when I got to the bottom, it wasn't chocolate colored. It was still, like, dry oatmeal. Well, you could have mixed that with some brown sugar and just eaten it like trail mix. Well, then I added water. We're crossing the streams, guys. It wasn't nearly as heinous as you'd think.
Starting point is 00:36:51 It was just, you know, chocolate milk. But as I poured it in because there was no regular milk in the fridge, I was like, oh, it was oat milk. Oat milk probably wouldn't have gone good with oatmeal. Oat milk probably would have worked pretty good as it came from. But I was like, I got to suck this down fast before I get my extra food from Wendy's.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I haven't eaten all day, wink. Oh, you'll notice I didn't say that. Nope. I assumed that's what happened. Apparently was not the case. Oh, my God. All right, last fact. Oh, there's more.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Wait, yours was so good. This is going to be a piece of shit. What do you mean? His fact was awesome. It was. Your last one was a truck got stuck at the drive-thru, and then he told a way better story that happened to him in real life, and now we're going back to your fact.
Starting point is 00:37:35 These are the order in which they were procured, unfortunately. Oh, no. Fact. One more fact. The final fact. We're going all the way to Jupiter. A Florida man from Jupiter. A Jupiter, Florida man.
Starting point is 00:37:47 A man from Jupiter now residing in Florida. Could be Ron DeSantis. Was arrested this week for exposing himself to two teenagers inside a Wendy's. Whoa. The same man was kicked out of the same Wendy's a year prior and told he could not enter unless he was wearing pants. Reports say that even though he was in Jupiter, he was just trying to show
Starting point is 00:38:06 everyone Uranus. Or Uranus. 100 episodes. 100 episodes. Remember when I said yours should have been live? He was wrong! Would you believe it? Something like this. So Jordan was in Wendy's. After he got there,
Starting point is 00:38:24 he kept saying, Jupiter he kept saying Jupiter's here Believe it or not it was Eric who showed up Oh no no He showed up and he went where's my wife's Large Coke Sir this is a Wendy's not a McDonald's Sir this is a Wendy's Those are the facts about Wendy's
Starting point is 00:38:43 Did we learn a lot? What do you mean? We learn a lot? No. What do you mean? We talked a lot about other stuff that didn't really have to do with Wendy's. It was pretty good. Welcome to the show. I don't know. I mean, should we... Should we just change how we do things? I mean, we can. Only one lawsuit,
Starting point is 00:38:59 but it was for Burger King. I know, right? Well, when you search Wendy's lawsuit and it's the same ones as a week ago. Yeah, it's tough. You just gotta type in fast food lawsuits. Got resolved in that week time? Not that I've seen.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Damn. The lady's still in the hospital for crying out loud. There's no updates. Nope. Tough. There's, they do, I'll listen to episodes of Dateline
Starting point is 00:39:21 where they put out like new ones and then they put out old ones because podcasts, even for them, are only a couple years old, right? So they'll be like, and there's classic 2009. It's just like old shit they haven't put onto the thing yet. But sometimes they have and they put it out again and again.
Starting point is 00:39:37 But it'll be like, with an update. Oh! That's double dipping. That's so fucking smart. Oh, and I go, well, I need this update. I've listened to this. And it's basically the exact same episode. It'll be five years later. It's like, now we're still waiting for the next one.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Hell yeah. It's like shit moves so insanely slow. You can't get updated in less than a few years. Yeah. Or it'll be like, they're going to trial. And it's like, well, they're doing the trial. We'll update you in another two years. Now they're going to appeal. Yeah, exactly like, well, they're doing the trial. We'll update you in another two years. Now they're going to appeal.
Starting point is 00:40:07 12 years from now, we'll tell you how that works. They're like quadruple dipping. They keep coming back. Do you know how many goddamn things I've listened to about that fucking lawyer? The guy that like his son, the boat accident, wasn't he Murdoch? Alex Murdoch?
Starting point is 00:40:22 They put out like 90 about him. And I'm'm going we know we know what happened i know this case like the back of my hand he just got his phone taken away there's a a podcast that i listen to called freedom and they do an episode cool name it's great right there's three people freedom it works wait it's uh never mind okay i don't want more details actually you got it you're gonna get uh what they do is put out a new episode a week or whatever like on like a thursday or whatever but they have i wouldn't even say so many they've just been doing it for a while and so they put out they just re-release old episodes
Starting point is 00:41:02 and call it three visiting the exact they don't do anything new they just slap it up again and I fucking listen to it and I'm like these people are genius new ad reads on it oh they're so fucking smart we gotta do that three visiting we gotta do
Starting point is 00:41:19 face jam reloaded face jam reheated wow whoa but like not in an air fryer. No. It's microwave style. It's at best. Yeah. We kind of put it on.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Well, if you leave it out and it gets kind of warm. If it's a hot day. We kind of just put it on like a radiator. And let it sit for a few minutes. Face jam radiator. Yeah. Not good. Anyway, we'll think about this one. Face jam radiator. Yeah. Not good. Anyway, well, think about this one.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Face jam found in the back of the fridge. I'll be honest. I don't want to put the old ones out again. Me neither. And also, it doesn't make any sense to do that because the food is limited. Well, that actually argues that it makes more sense. Because at the beginning of every episode,
Starting point is 00:42:01 we had one new thing where we go, we challenge you to find this food. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally different show. It's the new FaceTime challenge. It's the quad pizza from Little C-Series. Where can I find this?
Starting point is 00:42:20 And then Jordan says, good luck. And then the episode starts. Oh, they're challenging us to get the Saweetie sweetie meal i don't even think that's really an episode i think that's just a backseat the new shit mcdonald's is putting out that's like even lower effort than what is it things like they have seen in has yeah it just says we've been in movies yeah hey check out some meals that you can make based on things we've been in but But also Burger King's doing one, haven't been in, and they're listing all the movies that no one mentioned Burger King, which is extensive.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Yeah, they lost McDonald's to all these movies. Well, when the fuck have you seen a Burger King in a movie? It's like they don't even stand a chance. It's the thing you think about where you go, it doesn't even seem like product placement when it's a McDonald's because it's a McDonald's. They're everywhere. When I watch a movie, somebody says McDonald's, I don't go, oh, McDonald's got to them. It's just like, yeah, whatever, they a McDonald's because it's a McDonald's. They're everywhere. I don't, when I watch a movie and somebody says McDonald's, I don't go,
Starting point is 00:43:05 oh, McDonald's got to them. It's just like, yeah, whatever, they're McDonald's. The cheese fries went flying when you did that.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Well, I mean, there's like one or none in there. That was so cool. The third fry! It did like a cool kickflip. I'm going to pick it up and there'll be third fries in it.
Starting point is 00:43:18 If I saw Burger King in a movie, I would lose it. I would be like, Burger King? That would so take me out of the movie. Unbelievable. Dude, I'm looking it. I would be like, they got Burger King? That would take me out of the movie. Unbelievable. I'm looking it up. Ready?
Starting point is 00:43:28 Like, Happy Gilmore going to Subway? Totally believable. I wasn't for like, Subway? That made sense. Product placement. Burger King product
Starting point is 00:43:37 placement. Page one of three. Burger King fast food and drinks in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990. Wow. They would never.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Burger King trash into Catch a Killer. What? Yeah, that's I don't know about that one. Well, that's, I mean, murderers probably eat Burger King. Burger King fast food restaurant in the show Beef on Netflix. Okay. They're probably talking shit about
Starting point is 00:44:04 it. Yeah, I think it's like a depression meal thing. In an episode of The Upshaws. I don't know. Young Rock. Season 3, episode 7. His mom has Burger King. Wow, she looks
Starting point is 00:44:19 way too happy. And it's also really old Burger King. It's like some 80s Burger King. They're probably like, they're probably just excited because the Pokemon coins are coming out soon. Mm-hmm. Like the little. Yeah. The little.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Yeah, they're going to get those. The little tablets. Yeah. Like the hieroglyphics. The gold plates. Yes. Uh-huh. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:35 This will be the one that I. Not quite an amulet. Not an amulet. This will be the one that I leave you with because it's pretty, it's pretty blatant. Burger King drink enjoyed by Adam Sandler in the movie Hustle, a Netflix movie that came out like last year. Whoa. A drink?
Starting point is 00:44:52 And it's him just looking at the fucking... This looks like a paparazzi photo of Adam Sandler at the Burger King. What website was this? Productplacementblog.com Now, can you Google that with McDonald's and just see how many pages there are?
Starting point is 00:45:13 I mean, this is page one of three. I don't know if we have, like, three. Somehow already scraping the bottom of the barrel on page one. Wow, that's fucking funny. Real quick, speaking about Adam Sandler, this conversation reminded me of some of the not exactly worst product placement but like the the ones that didn't stand the test of time and the one that i'm thinking of is in funny people when they go to a myspace party oh my god really yeah i don't remember that it's it's the weirdest thing it's a whole scene that takes place and they're just talking about MySpace.
Starting point is 00:45:46 MySpace logo's in the background. There's a joke about, like, fuck Facebook or something like that. Oh, yeah. I feel like two years later, it was gone. McDonald's product placement, page one of nine. Yeah. And that's probably the agenda. They're probably only doing the good ones.
Starting point is 00:46:04 It's probably only nine of the best like pages of the best movies ever I think there's 17 James Bond movies at McDonald's in it I think they just got tired
Starting point is 00:46:13 of making the list so well we should learn about this food man it just sucks to be Burger King it really does
Starting point is 00:46:19 and I don't feel bad for them but man you suck it's a Wendy's episode we're just fucking attacking Burger King there'd be so many people they jumped in the fray And I don't feel bad for them, but man, you suck. It's a Wendy's episode. We're just fucking attacking Burger King. There'll be so many people.
Starting point is 00:46:29 They jumped in the fray. They're all going to be so mad. There are people who get on us every time we talk shit about Burger King. Yeah, and your boy's getting sued to shit. Well, if you actually look at the details of the case, it's actually quite frivolous. Yeah, it's frivolous, and they don't really have any, like, standing. Oh, man. All right, loaded nacho burger, a quarter pound of fresh, never frozen beef,
Starting point is 00:46:54 American cheese, hot and crispy corn and tortilla strips, spicy chipotle sauce, poblano queso, lettuce, and tomatoes on a jalapeno cheddar bun. That's what that was? This burger takes everything up a nacho. Definitely why I have heartburn. Died as I read it. Was so excited copying and pasting that from the Wendy's website right into this thing. It does take it up a nacho.
Starting point is 00:47:19 And going, oh, Jordan gets to read this out loud. They're not wrong. So we got that Plus spicy chicken Yeah we got the spicy chicken instead of the burger But also you got the I'm saying for us we got the chicken And some of us have heartburn You just described all the heartburn
Starting point is 00:47:36 There's all that extra spicy stuff I didn't know it was spicy chipotle Chipotle Who are you everyone's mom Yes Press material Chipotle Who are you? Everyone's mom? Yes Press material At Wendy's We are dedicated
Starting point is 00:47:50 To creating Exceptional Craveable Experiences For our passionate fans Woo Our Michaels Woo
Starting point is 00:47:57 Parentheses Michaels And our talented Culinary team Continues to deliver Time and time again While they're stacked, made to crave roster.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Draft them in my fantasy fast food league. Said Lindsay Redkoski, U.S. Chief Marketing Officer for the Wendy's Company. Her last name looks like how chicken was spelled. I love that marquee.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Chicken. The new loaded nacho cheeseburger pays homage to two American tailgating classics. It does? Cheeseburgers
Starting point is 00:48:31 and nachos. And we'll have fans leaving the other guys behind and making the transfer to Wendy's for this season. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:48:40 What is going on with this? Whoa. What is the layers here? Whoa. Wendy's. Wendy is the layers here? Whoa. Wendy's. I'm changing teams. I'm entering the transfer portal.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I'm going to Wendy's. What? I'm leaving behind other guys. Leaving the other guys behind and making the transfer. Like, this feels specifically like a college football thing. It is. They just did a commercial with uh caleb williams i love that guy uh-huh so he's he's transferring to like wendy's i was
Starting point is 00:49:15 really hoping the colts would suck another year so that we could get him hey don't worry there's still time jordan yeah but they're not going to give up on Anthony Richardson. Damn. Can you believe that? Nope. I'm just glad that as a result of being in the commercial, he doesn't have to give up his Heisman Trophy. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Reggie Bush could never. So that's one part. Yeah, there's a whole other one here. I can only imagine what sports references will be in this one. We're always looking to push the envelope with our signature hot and crispy fries to give our fans layers of delicious... Avers. I think it's supposed to say flavors. Avers.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Again, I didn't type this out. This is Avers. It says Avers. It's got to be flavors. For a second, I was like, is didn't type this out. I'm staring at this word. Avers. It says Avers. It's gotta be flavors. For a second I was like, is it avours? Yeah. Is this some sort of French word? Yeah, delicious avours. They're trying to give their friends layers of delicious avours combined with the
Starting point is 00:50:15 crispiness you won't end anywhere on. So what happened to the F, I, and L keys? Also, were they confused? Did someone think that a capital I was a lowercase L? So maybe it still is the same key. The F key makes sense, but the I and the L is just suspicious.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Well, fries did come across earlier. You won't end anywhere else, said John Lee. I assume that's his whole name. We can only imagine. Global Vice President of Culinary Innovation at the Wendy's Company. Our new queso fries are the perfect crispy compliment to our loaded nacho sandwich, delivering fans a classic tailgating experience, bite after bite. No jokes about transferring or being a redshirt freshman.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I feel like redshirt freshman would have been a good one for this. For us, it makes sense to get both. That's what they're offering. I don't ever understand why you would get both as a normal human. I don't think they're asking you. No. Even this dumb motherfucker is. Are you talking about the fries and the ice cream?
Starting point is 00:51:19 Yeah, complimenting the sandwich. It's the same goddamn thing. It's not complimenting it. You just put the same shit on the french fries. I don't want it twice. Burger slaps go on french fries. The fries are way worse in this way as well. Their fries, as they come, I like a lot.
Starting point is 00:51:34 These ones, they were soggy. They were unseasoned. And there was enough cheese to cover four fries. We were talking about it and saying that the queso fries don't taste like something from Wendy's. No, the queso totally is like
Starting point is 00:51:49 out of left field. It's very... As far as the flavor profile. And it's not something I disliked. It's just something where I ate it and I went,
Starting point is 00:51:57 well, like, the spicy chicken tastes like Wendy's but nothing else did. Yeah, you couldn't tell me this came from Wendy's. No, it was very weird. Especially on the fries.
Starting point is 00:52:04 The queso on the fries and the whole burger in itself. We should have gotten a third fry, though. Should have gotten something else. I know. I'm glad I just got the second sandwich because I can't even imagine not getting a third fry or a second sandwich. Can you talk about, let's talk about how the chicken and the burgers compare. You're the only one who knows.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Yeah. Yeah. And I'm keeping it all to myself. Thanks for listening. I'm not going to tell anyone anything. Happy 100th episode. There is no score. I have to assume that the spicy chicken was just superior to the burger.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Here's the interesting part that I'll say, and I'll say it now. Here I go. And here it comes. And now it's time. The words are approaching. The chicken is far superior. The chicken was real good. Real bad heartburn on this guy.
Starting point is 00:53:02 From the chicken, from the bun. Jordan, I don't know if you agree or disagree with me. Now, again, on to Eric's failure for the last episode. It was just a bun. I opened it up, and I was like, this bun is more of a bun than the last bun. Oh, yeah. Like, and it's not even about the bun at all.
Starting point is 00:53:18 There's, like, so many layers. I forgot that there was anything going on with the bun. I opened it up and went, whoa, this bun's crazy, just from the look of it. It's got, like, shit on it, and it doesn the look of it. It's got like shit on it. It doesn't look like the other buns at the Wendy's. The chicken was definitely better. What I will say is, and we'll get into this,
Starting point is 00:53:33 the corn, little corn nuggets or what have you, and the chips, crunchy as fuck. Very crunchy. Like real crunchy. Crunchiest corn in the world. They, while I think the sandwich, I think the chicken sandwich tastes better, the crunch
Starting point is 00:53:50 is, it's less, it's less massive crunch in your mouth with a patty than the chicken. Interesting. Because it's softer. Yeah. Yeah. And even the chicken has, like, the breading and stuff. Right. You're fighting the chicken and all these other crunches at the same time.
Starting point is 00:54:06 And the burger, it was a little... I would be chewing the burger and go, Wow, it's not... Oh, there it is. But there was a second in between. That's the only thing I'll say. If you don't want to get crunch attacked big time, first of all, don't order this.
Starting point is 00:54:21 But second of all, the chicken, because again, it's not flat. It's like a chicken breast. It's breaded. It definitely doesn't settle as well as it does on the burger. Interesting. But the chicken is obviously superior. So much better, right? It doesn't matter anyway.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't, you know. I'd get both. Mm-hmm. But I wouldn't just get the burger. Right. I think, on the whole, this thing is really weird. It's weird as shit.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Yeah. You nailed it. Eric was saying when we were eating it, it tastes nothing like a sandwich from Wendy's. Yeah. Just the whole this thing is really weird it's weird as shit you nailed it Eric was saying when we were eating it it tastes nothing like a sandwich from Wendy's yeah just the whole thing what's weird to me is that the the protein part the chicken
Starting point is 00:54:55 and I assume the hamburger it has no flavor and almost doesn't matter it's more like a texture thing but there's so much flavor in everything else. All of the toppings, like the two sauces, the queso has like a very unique like... It's poblano.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Yeah, the poblano flavor really comes through. And then the corn is like seasoned. So like it just it's all that stuff. And then like nothing from the meat. But it doesn't taste like it doesn't taste like Wendy's. And I'm not, I'm not sure that's a knock against it, but it's like, the flavor wasn't a great combination of flavors to me.
Starting point is 00:55:35 So, like, if that is what is dominating, it didn't work for me. Mm-hmm. Eric, did you get dominated? It. You liked it fucking wheezing back there it if this was more elevated
Starting point is 00:55:52 at a different place I think you can get away with this kind of flavor stuff but if you're going to Wendy's and you're expecting Wendy's and this is what you get instead I think you're gonna kind of go like oh what happened I would buy this if you were going to Wendy's and this is what you get instead, I think you're going to kind of go like, oh, what happened? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:06 I would buy this. Kind of a lot. If you were going to Wendy's and it's like, Uncle Joe hates Wendy's. Yeah. Get him this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:56:14 It's not Wendy's. Yeah. It's not bad. No, no, no. By no means is it bad. The consistency is a little weird, though. Yeah. It's too crunchy.
Starting point is 00:56:22 It is very crunchy. It's like it's not a whole. Having the knockoff corn nuts. It's not little weird, though. It's too crunchy. It is very crunchy. It's like it's not a whole... Having the knockoff corn nuts. It's not a whole idea. It's a bunch of different ideas that are kind of hodgepodge together. I think if it didn't have the corn pieces, I think you'd get away with it a little bit better. I think if it had one sauce and one type of the crunchy, like maybe just the tortilla chips and the chipotle sauce. I would say keep the chips and get rid of the corn.
Starting point is 00:56:44 I like getting blasted by flavor, and so I like this because it did that. It did, I will say. It definitely flavor blasts. Usually we eat this shit and we say it tasted like nothing. It was a flavor blast. I mean, remember when we went to fucking Culver's and that pepper grinder burger was just like destroying us?
Starting point is 00:57:00 This had that amount, like the intensity of flavor. But again, it just doesn doesn't none of it tastes like wendy's yeah and the fries i would say just get regular fries because the the slop fries were kind of like i don't know why you would do this don't do that um it was a half-baked effort on the fries the only thing that came through for the chicken was the spice you got it was like you made your nose run i almost had had a thought. Is mine spicy? Because like I didn't get anything. It was just it was just spice.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Maybe you're like a spice pro now. Specifically for the Wendy's spicy chicken. Are you somewhat of a spice rat? I'm transforming. Oh my god. You're the slowest anamorph ever. I have become spice rat. Destroyer of burgers.
Starting point is 00:57:47 What score? This one's tough because, like, I don't really know where it stands as a Wendy's thing. Here's what I do know. What do you know? Way better than last time. Fuck that shitty breakfast. Yeah. There's no question there.
Starting point is 00:58:02 There were things to be desired that this burger left, but I was like, yeah, Eric fucked up for sure. The whole time I was eating both sandwiches, I was just thinking,
Starting point is 00:58:12 what was he thinking? He must not have known at least. And then in the episode, he goes, I knew. This sucks. I just decided to get the shitty breakfast one first.
Starting point is 00:58:19 I just never talked about it. Yeah, I didn't bring it up, kept it to myself. Well, yeah, but how are we going to do Wendy's two times?
Starting point is 00:58:24 Whatever. Just don't do the other one. Happy episode 100. What's your fucking score? What's your score? Hey, man. Are you mad? This is the way he said it.
Starting point is 00:58:38 When I was younger, I went over to a friend's house and he was playing like Igaruga or something and he kept fucking dying at one part and our other friend was there and he just went, is one part and our other friend was there. He just went, is this part hard? My friend, the guy who was playing kept dying,
Starting point is 00:58:50 fucking just death glared at him and the guy just went, why did I ask that question? Eric, I did a rage quit on that game and I just kept calling it Ikarugu and it got so many people mad. Like that's all I had to do to upset people.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Put out a video on Icaroo and I go, some shitty game Icaroo, this game's fucking stupid. It's dumb. That's great. That's so fucking funny, dude. Did you beat the hard part though, Michael? Probably not. I probably didn't
Starting point is 00:59:26 and blamed it on the game you just say bad game design absolutely yep yep back to work developers anyway oh man I'm gonna give it a 54 wow because I think there's
Starting point is 00:59:42 something here but I don't think they executed it to it's full potential there's something here, but I don't think they executed it to its full potential. There's something here, and it's the fact that it's not the breakfast English muffin. It's no pub sandwich for sure. No, God no. Well, that's why I scored mine lower than the...
Starting point is 00:59:57 If it didn't have the corn nuggets, I think it might have been real good. It's just too crunchy. The corn nuggets are so crunchy. The corn nuggets were too much. Even with the chicken, if you took just the corn nuggets out, I think it would improve significantly.
Starting point is 01:00:10 But I don't recommend ordering it and then picking them out piece by piece. Or eating two of them, you'll get heartburn. But I will say, much better faring than last time. I'm going to give it a 69.9. Wow, almost a 70.
Starting point is 01:00:26 That's an average score of 61.95, so almost a 62. Excellent score. Almost a 62. We could just, you know, maybe for the next 100 episodes, we expand to 1,000. We don't need to expand to 1,000. Hey, that's a great idea he just had, and I'm supporting him. No. Okay. I'm going to go get the snack. Sn, that's a great idea he just had. And I'm supporting him. No.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Okay. I'm going to go get the snack. Snack time. Have you done that yet? No. Well, I know it's right over there. Have Gracie talk about her sandwich or something. Did someone pay for something that we get for free again?
Starting point is 01:00:55 Sort of. Oh. I said yes. Wasn't really expecting such a specific answer to that specific question. Gracie, what did you think of this thing? I'm going to be honest. I didn't know there were corn nuggets in it until you pointed it out. I wasn't getting that. None fell out
Starting point is 01:01:08 when you opened yours? No. Mine was nothing but corn. Maybe they didn't put them on mine. I only had the tortilla strips. What the fuck? Really? I did not get a single corn nugget. So it was delicious then? I mean, I wouldn't say delicious. It was fine. Yeah, I think that's what this is. It's fine. I liked the fries better than I liked the sandwich.
Starting point is 01:01:24 That's insane to me. Really? Okay. Those fries were sad. Well, I have talked about the fries better than I liked the sandwich. That's insane to me. Really? Okay. Those fries were sad. Well, I have talked about my love for liquid cheese on the show. That's true. That tracks. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Right? Yeah. Well, instead of... If it's wet, it's good. You were picking the fries out and just going for the cheese. We got a bucket with a chicken on it. We got a bucket with a chicken on it. I know what this is.
Starting point is 01:01:43 What is this? I peeped this a while ago. Is this Tio Pepe? No This is... They're gone. Yeah. Life raft treats. I'm gonna take a picture. Life raft treats. You know what this is Jordan. What take a look at that. What kind of food you think that is? It's popcorn. No. What? No. Popcorn chicken. No! Okay, it's... Ice cream No. What? No. Popcorn chicken. No. Okay. It's ice cream. That's chicken.
Starting point is 01:02:09 It's ice cream. Chicken ice cream? Yeah. Are they like little chicken ice cream sandwiches? Is this a meme food that I've missed somehow? Yep. Holy moly. Yeah, and they're stuck together.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Guys, is it cake? No, it's just chicken. Oh, and they're stuck together. Guys, is it cake? No, it's just chicken. Oh, okay. It's frozen chicken, Nick. Eat it. Put it in your mouth and chew. Open your mouth. I'm waiting for someone else to take a bite before I do. I looked at Gracie, and she was looking at hers.
Starting point is 01:02:42 I'll go first. I just want everyone to get a fair chance to eat their chicken ice cream chicken. I think we all need to do it at the same time. He went in! Eric's going in, go go go! Where's the ice cream? Kicking ice cream, ice cream and chicken. What the fuck? It'll keep you licking. What?
Starting point is 01:02:58 Eric took a picture right at the end of that song. Yup. This is... Yo, this is like good. Somebody sent us this from Goalbelly. It has... What's going on over there, Nick? I just want one! Dude, the Choco Taco
Starting point is 01:03:11 died so this could live. Yep. This has a... Protein. Protein. Any way you slice it. This has cornflake outside, vanilla ice cream inside.
Starting point is 01:03:22 There's a chocolate pretzel bone in the middle. Eat the bone! I'm eating the bone! Eat the bone! It's a bone in 100% eat. They have made chicken 100% eat. Wow! This is like really good. It looks like chicken. I really like this.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Jordan likes it. Jot that down. It's such a weird experience. It is. Like texture and taste and you're just going, whoa. But I'll tell you what, I'm having a great time. Yeah, it's fun. It looks remarkably like chicken and also holds together as you're eating it.
Starting point is 01:03:57 It does. It holds together really well. It doesn't like break apart. It wasn't melting in my hand as I waited for someone to take a bite. No, you could be halfway through this thing, have someone walk in and go, oh, you eating chicken? It still doesn't look like ice cream as you're eating it. I can't look at it while I taste the flavors because then I start to question what it really is. It's weird.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah. Hi. Hey, we're just eating chicken. Don't mind us going, why are you eating chicken? Don't mind us just eating some chicken. Just a couple chicken heads. I don't know. I like the texture of the little chocolate thing
Starting point is 01:04:29 around the bone and the crisp of the cookie bone. I don't know who sent it to us. The ice cream is soft. It came from Goal Belly, which is like an online ordering food thing or whatever. They have these individually wrapped. There's a couple in the fridge. Put them in the freezer. I'm um for put them in the freezer i'm
Starting point is 01:04:46 sorry they're in the freezer way to go man um but you can get them yeah yeah they have it was like chicken goes in the fridge they have met like whole foods i think or trader joe's or something like there are places where you can get these uh individually wrapped it looks like chicken. I know. I know, it's crazy! Yeah, he was trying to make me eat it, like, last week. He was like, eat it! And I kept going, no. And he was like,
Starting point is 01:05:13 this is what we're gonna eat, eat it! And I went, no! And then I forgot. Not knowing about a thing to, like, being totally on board with it. That was me with Sea of Stars. It happened so fast. Really?
Starting point is 01:05:25 Yeah. Hey, you know this thing exists? I'll die for this thing! What's this? I love it! Ah! They made this just for me! I'm sorry, WrestleQuest!
Starting point is 01:05:35 You were 80% of the 100%! No, 105%! It's been given to me! You were immediately sidelined. Why would you do this? I was gonna finally learn about wrestling! So close. So close. I was so close!
Starting point is 01:05:50 What do you think? I think it's so fun. He fucking loves it. And even more so, it's good. It's not just some gimmick thing that sucks ass. So, I'm giving this like a 96. Wow. Michael? It's not that good.
Starting point is 01:06:05 What? What? 95. Whoa! 95.5 is the score. No, this is awesome. This rules. It's from, again, from Gold Belly.
Starting point is 01:06:18 We're making a mess. You are. Life raft treats. Ice cream, not fried chicken. I'm going to blow up. Yep. This chicken will help your heartburn as well. Yep.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Just like yours, Juice. Yeah. And it's going to help my stomach too. Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send them to Face Jam Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Are you good? Yeah, I'm just looking at what I wrote this morning when I was running out of the house.
Starting point is 01:06:49 The food court is out now. That's supposed to say gavel. The gavel for food court is out now. We've done a live stream for the gavel. Did you like it? Did you watch it? Did you get a gavel? Did you end it?
Starting point is 01:07:03 Oh, I get it because it was the reference. The missing letters. You can also grab Face Jam sunglasses, keychain noisemakers, and monkey shorts. Those are all on sale and stored at RoosterTeeth.com. This thing's starting to fall apart. Yep. I'm going to eat it faster, bro. Follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date with everything.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Spittin' Silly will be next week. Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com. Send in your food conundrums. So we have stuff for Food Court. If you haven't heard it yet, Gracie picked Gracie's choice was Chick-fil-A breakfast for a
Starting point is 01:07:35 Spittin' Silly that we did last week. And then we have a couple more Gracie produced Spittin' Sillies that are coming up. Are we going back to Wendy's? We're not going back. No. We don't know. We don't know yet. He could see another bad idea and want to jump all over it. This fucking sucks.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Alright, now bring out the secret fries. Is Sophie's choice about fast food? Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. It's about her choosing the hamburger or the fried, or like the chicken. Oh, I thought she was choosing which one to kill and it was an obvious choice to kill Burger King. Well, they're just going to kind of take care of themselves.
Starting point is 01:08:09 So 100 episodes, we did it. We did it. It's crazy. We did it. 100 episodes in twice the time as everyone else. Some people do 100 episodes in like two years. Us, we take our time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:23 We'll get it done in about four, four and a half. If you're lucky. Uh-huh. And a quarter of that or more from our car. Car episodes are good. Go back and listen to that. They were good to make, not good to do. No.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Not good for my car. They were good products, but bad productions. Well, hopefully we do 100 more, I guess. I don't want to do that anymore. Right. Maybe like 50 more? Yeah. I mean, that's two more years.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah. We'll reconvene. We'll reconvene after 150 and see how you feel. Yeah, that's smart. Okay. All right. Don't take us out. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Thank you for listening 100 hundred times. Whoa. And if you didn't listen a hundred times, fuck you. That's not for you. Listen to some more or give the fucking compliment back. Give it back! It wasn't really a compliment. I guess it was thanks. Yeah. Give that thanks back, you piece of shit.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Stolen Ballad.

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