100% Eat - Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Pub Cheeseburger & Chicken Sandwich

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Pub Cheeseburger & Chicken Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about someone named Melinda, ...a disappearing murder hornet, Frosticcinos, and more. Sponsored by HelloFresh. Go to http://hellofresh.com/facejam80 and use code facejam80 to get a total of $80 off your first month, including free shipping on your first box! Get notified about the Spice Rat shirt's reprint: http://bit.ly/FJSpiceRat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Ah! Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do! Thanks to HelloFresh for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Ah! I'm good. How are you? I'm good, dude. I'm full.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Dude, hard to believe. I was full before I ate today, because I'm good dude I'm full I was telling Eric I was full before I ate today Cause I'm pushing 190 Starting to weigh me down You're gonna break your scale Yeah dude I got on And uh Crushed it into the floor I gotta pry it out later
Starting point is 00:00:41 Why did you scream Why did you scream at the beginning of the episode? Did I though? Did that make the cut? Alright, let's say I made the cut. I had to scream because Nick is going backwards in technology. Okay? We can't even hear
Starting point is 00:00:58 him now. He keeps blaming some iPhone update. I don't buy it. I don't buy it for a second. He says he can hear us, but we can't hear him. And also, we just have to take his word for it. Right.
Starting point is 00:01:11 It's not even his word because I can't hear him. Exactly. It's his word to Eric to us. Eric's already a known liar. Now we're playing telephone? Known liar? What am I lying about?
Starting point is 00:01:20 I'm holding a fucking paper full of lies right now. I just haven't gotten to it yet. What are you talking about? These are all, this is all the information you need about Wendy. I just haven't gotten to it yet. What are you talking about? These are all the information you need about Wendy's. I haven't gotten to it yet. But also, we're in our car again because the jammers seem to like it.
Starting point is 00:01:33 And still, we have no way to listen to the intro, which is the backbone of this entire show. Eric usually sings. He does a really bad job. So he finally got embarrassed and he didn't want to sing it this time because it's so bad. So we just started without an intro. It's a good job. I thought I would just scream and that would kind of jolt people into the episode. Give some energy.
Starting point is 00:01:51 And I think it worked. Definitely jolted me. I looked over at Eric and he was doing something in his car. Caught him by surprise. That was it, you know? Don't worry, Nick. I'm going to do your job for you. I'm going to lower my audio a little bit.
Starting point is 00:02:04 You know? Don't worry, Nick. I'm gonna do your job for you. I'm gonna lower my audio a little bit. I just assume you're not gonna do it because you're not doing much of anything today. And now who am I hearing an echo from? I don't know why is there an echo! I don't know why my car keeps, like, playing the discord. Now you're fiddling with your phone! I- it's not me, it's my stupid car! Well, your car's- I thought your car's a smart car. Which is it?
Starting point is 00:02:26 Okay? Now who's the known liar? Now who's the known liar? All right. I blame Nick. Guys, you did mention Wendy's, but I'll say what we're eating now that we're five minutes in. Today, we're reviewing Wendy's pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger and chicken sandwich because we just couldn't decide. Yeah, we had to do both because Wendy's
Starting point is 00:02:46 offers both. It's for science. Yeah, and I think particularly if it wasn't Wendy's, we might have just done the burger, but to me Wendy's definitely edges out on a lot of fast food restaurants for the chicken. They have very good chicken at Wendy's and it felt wrong
Starting point is 00:03:02 to not get the chicken sandwich. So that's what we did. Spicy chicken sandwich, number eight combo, the best. That's my go-to. I just get spicy chicken sandwich, cheese and lettuce. That's my go-to Wendy's sandwich. And then, well, usually it's two, and also I get the chili cheese fries. And now you can see how large I am.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Hey, are we also rating the fucking Frostichinos we got? No, not part no. I don't think we are. No. I got you Frostichinos out of the kindness of my heart. It seems like you did it to spite me because I asked you for a Frosty. Oh, is that why he was mad?
Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah, you got a Frosty Chino. It's in the name. Okay. I didn't just stop halfway through. I typed out in the slack I want to get me a Frosty and you said you got it and you thought I was like shorthanding it
Starting point is 00:03:51 yeah I thought it was like a autocorrect oh like you write Al Pacino it turns into Dunkachino and then you did Frostachino but it turned into Frosty it's all backwards you called these Dunkachinos he did I called them Dunkachinos more than once.
Starting point is 00:04:06 I called them Frostachinos. I just wanted a Frosty. That makes sense now. When I pulled up next to Jordan, I got out of my car and he was grumbling to himself about something. Yeah, because Eric had just handed me something that wasn't a Frosty. It has Frosty in it!
Starting point is 00:04:22 And he said, Eric said, Michael wanted Frostichinos. I go, I didn't? Yeah. I mean, I feel like, you know, we could have gotten Frostichinos and you could have had the Frosty. Yeah. You know? No.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like, you specifically asked for it. You expect Eric to ask for, like, something different? No, something happened where Jordan, Jordan goes, at least I have French fries. And I was like, what's going on with you? And he goes, oh,
Starting point is 00:04:50 I can't wait to tear into this fucking thing. And I was like, oh my God. And that's when you said, what's going on over there? And I went, I don't know, save it for the show.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I didn't realize, I thought he just, yeah. We're not rating the Frostichino. I give it a fucking piece of shit. But that's just because you didn't get a Frosty though. That's not fair. You can't rate it because it's not what you wanted.
Starting point is 00:05:11 But also we can't rate it at all. But also it was bad. Yeah. Why are you rating it? Yeah. Void. Yeah. Honestly, bleep throwing that out.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Bleep throwing that out. Bleep his score. Bleep his score. Yeah. Good. Just delete it from the records. Yeah. Nick can't hear you.
Starting point is 00:05:24 No, you're right. He can't. He keeps laughing at like odd times trying to act like he's totally like listening. It's like me in the TGI Friday's parking lot where I just smile. Yeah, he's just nodding along. It's like, yeah. Uh-huh. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:40 So I guess Wendy's. Yeah, we've talked about how much we like Wendy's before, and I think it's interesting that we're doing, for the second Fortnite in a row, a restaurant we actually like. Well, look at how it turned out last fucking time. But we're very disappointed by what we got, so I'm interested to see what happens in this one.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Spoiler alert, it might be the same. Whoa. Wow. But also, it might not. Can't trust this guy. You gotta listen. Spoiler. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:06:07 True. Known liar with a dumb car, Jordan Sweers. Known teaser. Yeah. I like the Wendy's. I like their fries. I hit it up fairly often. Their fries are good.
Starting point is 00:06:22 That's good. That's insane. No, that's insane. They redid their fries a couple years ago, and they ended up being a lot better with them you guys are good you guys are fucking nuts they're unique they're not my favorite fries but i'll eat them i like them i don't dislike them their fries suck no what no yeah no i'm not going i'm not gonna agree with that everyone who thinks they're good, say aye. Aye. Aye. You know.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Nay. Like, even Nick's shaking his little monkey head saying no. Yeah, he's shaking it. Well, no, hang on. I think there's a fly in his car. It might be that wasp. Oh, man. Yeah, there was a wasp earlier. Dude, wasp tried to take my sandwich.
Starting point is 00:06:58 He actually did take my sandwich. He definitely did. He won. It's still on the ground. I was eating. My sandwich is on the ground I was eating my sandwich is on the ground I was eating on top of my car and
Starting point is 00:07:09 I had the chicken sandwich and the burger and I didn't want to eat one and get like all full so I was like taking alternating bites and this wasp rolled up
Starting point is 00:07:20 right next to my sandwich so I just I grabbed the chicken one because I was holding it. I just backed up. And he fucking posted up on my burger. But there wasn't enough left, so the wind blew it off my car. But here's the crazy part.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Eric went in his car to get his phone to take a picture of the wasp next to the burger. The burger fell, hit the ground. The wasp was nowhere to be found. I didn't see him fly away. Straight up hallucination from the Frostichinos that, like, fucked with our minds. There was no wasp. Yeah, be found. I didn't see him fly away. Straight up hallucination from the Frostachinos that fucked with our minds. There was no wasp. Yeah, but then there was because he was flying around you.
Starting point is 00:07:52 But then he came later to attack again. Yeah, he wanted the Frostachino. Yeah, he was looking for the Dunkachino and it wasn't here. He heard Eric say it. He came looking for it. The wasp was like, mmm. Then what was crazy is he flew in a Knicks car and he updated his phone so it wouldn't work. And I was like, I can't believe it.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Yeah, Nick, the last thing I heard next thing was he screamed, no, the update. And then I saw the wasp fly out. It's nuts. He hates this show. No, the update. No Indies. Lindy's. Lindy's Restaurant. You know? Dave Thomas.
Starting point is 00:08:30 You know, I think we were old enough where we were all, like, adolescents when he, before he kicked the bucket. He'd do all the commercials. It was like this little old dude with white hair. He'd be like... I remember Dave Thomas being like, oh, he's like an everyday man. You know, he wasn't because he's a fucking millionaire. But He'd be like, I remember Dave Thomas being like, oh, he's, he's like an everyday man.
Starting point is 00:08:46 You know, he wasn't because he's a fucking millionaire. But he was just like, he looked like your grandpa, you know, and he'd have his little apron on. He was like, I named the restaurant
Starting point is 00:08:54 after my daughter. And from what I recall, he, he was like on the silly side. He'd do like little goofy commercials and stuff. And then, then he died.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Yeah. He kicked the bucket and I feel like he wasn't that old. No, as a kid, I felt like he was fucking ancient. Yep. Yeah. And now I'll probably look it up and like he was 47. Yeah, right. I was like, oh no.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Dave Thomas dead at 38. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Well, he looked awful. Yeah. I mean, like, we have some Dave Thomas facts when we get to the facts section. But I really liked Dave Thomas as just a dude at Wendy's going like, we have a new hamburger. Well, see ya.
Starting point is 00:09:40 It was like, it's almost like no showmanship. But that was really charming. It was very, it's almost like no showmanship, but that was really charming. It was very cool. He was a regular dude. Yep, he was a regular dude. And I'll say what he also had, he was like, brah,
Starting point is 00:09:53 because he would say that. Brah, 99 cents. Just 99 cents. And it was a 30 second commercial. He would say that in the first two seconds and then stand there for the rest of the time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:06 And then he would just stand there and eat the nuggets. 99 cents for a five piece nugget. They had the 99 cent menu before anybody had the dollar menu. They had the 99 cent menu forever before McDonald's and Burger King followed suit. 1989 is when they had the 99 cent menu. And like Burger King did it in like 96. Isn't that fucking crazy? Crazy. It's fucking nuts. Do you think Wendy's people were like
Starting point is 00:10:30 they're like the Android users and all the Burger King people when they finally get like this cool new feature at their restaurant they're like wow how innovative and cool and the Wendy's people are just like we've had this since 1989. Well only if Burger King did it and they're like, we're innovative and cool.
Starting point is 00:10:47 And the rest of the world went, yeah, you are. And then Wendy's went, hey, we had this. And they went, shut the fuck up, Wendy's. Yeah, that about sums it up. But ours is better. Shut up. I like this color. Shut the hell up.
Starting point is 00:11:02 All I'm saying is I have these cool widgets on my phone now, and I've never seen anything like this Don't be out the widget thing is dumb as like that's insane to me like people posting pictures of their home screen and on Like Twitter going like look at my screen looks like now Why the fuck would I ever want to look at what your home screen looks like do you wanna? Do you want to see what my that's like that's like going to your myspace Why the fuck would I go to your MySpace? My MySpace has the song I want to listen to. I don't want to go to your MySpace.
Starting point is 00:11:32 You might hear some new music. Eric, I'm taking you out of my top eight. You're out of my top eight. Placing you with Tom. When you were talking about, I'll say'll say briefly very briefly I just read this yesterday when you said that they had the 99 cents menu since what 89 I was reading a thing
Starting point is 00:11:52 about Costco where I didn't even know this was a thing but Costco has a hot dog and a soda for $1.50 and it's been that price since like the 80s same thing it's been that price since like the 80s. Same thing.
Starting point is 00:12:06 It was like 85 or some shit. And the CEO in the early 2000s, the CEO of Costco was like, and this was on like social media or whatever it was at the time, an email or something. Maybe it was even later. I think it was social media.
Starting point is 00:12:22 But it was at some point somewhere the current CEO at the time said, you know, he was thinking about raising the price of the hot dog because it's like, it's just so cheap, you know. And one of the co-founders, who I guess was a former CEO, said, if you raise the price of the hot dog, I will effing kill you. Like he's quoted as saying that. F-ing kill you. Like, he's quoted as saying that. And then, like, the article I was reading was like, and apparently the CEO, like, took it to heart because he figured out how to not raise the price
Starting point is 00:12:51 on the hot dog. And they decided, we'll just take a loss on this. Yep. It's their, it's Costco's, like, loss leader thing. Their $1.50 hot dog and soda has been $1.50 since I was a kid. We would go to Costco and get $1.50 hot dog and soda has been $1.50 since I was a kid. We would go to Costco and get $1.50 hot dog and soda all the time. It's a good-ass hot dog, and you get a soda
Starting point is 00:13:12 all to yourself, and you're six, and it's fucking great. But if you go to Japan, there's Costco in Japan. If you go to Japan and go to the Costco in Japan, you can get a hot dog and a soda for 150 yen. It's straight 150. I don't know if he was gonna kill somebody
Starting point is 00:13:28 for that too, but it's 150. Done. That translates to like, isn't that like 10 cents? Yes! That's ridiculous. Fucking crazy. Holy shit, that's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Fucking rules. And that's why Costco's great, but we can't do it because it's not limited. Because they have the same shit since the 80s. If he doesn't raise the price, I'm going to fucking kill him. What's he going to do now? Oh, wow. That's good. Make sure you guys clip that out and send it to him.
Starting point is 00:13:58 See, that was the thing, too. When I read it, I was like, this has got to be old enough where a guy can say, I'll effing kill you, and people go, wow. And then move on. Because now that guy's house would get stormed. Right. But no, it's just, anyway, Costco's great. Thank you, Costco.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Thank you, Wendy's. Cheap hot dog. Hell yeah. Anyway. Value leaders. So somewhere in there, we talked about Wendy's. Should we move on to the facts? Let's get into the facts.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Now, let's learn about Wendy's. Fact number one. Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, helped KFC franchises from going bankrupt and invented the red and white
Starting point is 00:14:31 striped bucket that made KFC famous. Whoa. Why is he, Eric's mouth was, Can you believe? He's really trying to get us to like
Starting point is 00:14:39 react to this. It's really incredible. What is that? He's like crazy, huh? Why do you give that away he he worked for kfc he worked under mule tender sanders and mule tender sanders said you need to go to these like this area it's like in ohio you need to go to these kfcs they're gonna like they're not making
Starting point is 00:14:58 any money need your help and so he went down there and he got paid a bunch of money if he could get them into the black. He did it. He invented the red and white striped bucket, put the big red and white striped bucket on top of one of the restaurants. And they're like, we're doing this at all the KFCs. This is incredible. He made millions, took that and started Wendy's with it. So KFC is directly responsible for the creation of Wendy's. But Dave Thomas is directly responsible for the success of KFC.
Starting point is 00:15:26 That's incredible! Man, they're like symbiotic. That's why they got good chicken! Whoa! He came from chicken! He's a chicken man! It's like a monkey's paw situation though, because it's like, I would rather KFC not exist at all, but Wendy's wouldn't exist without KFC. KFC's worth existing for
Starting point is 00:15:41 Wendy's. Yeah, KFC's not as good as I remember. Like, as a kid, it was like, whoa, KFC. The last five years, every time I've had it, I went, I like this. This is good. This is more than one spice in it. Can I go back for a second and just say that the way he made them
Starting point is 00:15:58 successful is by putting a bucket on the roof. People are fucking stupid. Yo, people are dumb as fuck. Welcome to America. This was like the 60s when that was like a bucket was like a new and innovative idea. I gotta get that chicken! What's in it? I don't care! It's inside
Starting point is 00:16:14 a bucket! Ah! Ah! Alright, man. Here we go, next one. This blew my mind just now. Wendy's is named after Dave Thomas' daughter, which everyone knows, Melinda. Huh?
Starting point is 00:16:31 This doesn't make sense, but you can do whatever you want now, so come on down to my new restaurant, Big Mike's, named after my friend Jordan. Is that like a nickname of hers or something? No, call it the Michael Jordan grill or something. Her name is Melinda. I think she had a little sister who couldn't say Melinda. So she said like, You know how kids say stupid fucked up shit like idiots?
Starting point is 00:17:02 And then like that becomes... Like Jordan's car? Yeah. Jordan's car can yeah jordan's car can't say melinda either see that's fucking stupid i guess this car's mad now no that's it trying to say melinda uh weird yeah so fucked up nickname from a little sister or something and then that just turned into i'm glad it's not called Melinda's though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:27 That's even worse. Well, this guy made the bucket. Okay. Yeah. He knew that wouldn't take off. Like, look, Melinda, I love you. We're going to call you that dumb ass name. Your sister called you.
Starting point is 00:17:38 We're going to call the restaurant because it's going to take off. Could you imagine if some bullshit nickname you had is like a six-year-old was like the name of like the number three burger restaurant in the United States and you're just like, well, can't escape that. Fuck. Big mics. And then it's your face.
Starting point is 00:17:53 And then it's your face plastered on the fucking thing. And you're like, my name's not even Wendy. Shut up, Wendy. Speaking of Wendy, Wendy's Twitter account got famous for dunking on people and is so sassy. Every brand decided that's what social media is now. So if you need to complain to like Charmin or Snapple and get roasted, blame Wendy's. That is true.
Starting point is 00:18:17 They definitely did that. They started to like, you know what? Everybody else just pretends like other brands don't exist. You know, it's like, don't talk about the competition. Wendy's just dove in there and they're like, hey McDonald's, you suck. And people went, oh, Wendy's, I like it. Trailblazer.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Wendy's just goes out and attacks people and just insults them. I'm calling it Wendy's social media, next president. Wow. Just saying. That's pretty. Wendy's could just be like, vote for me me you dumb fucks and people would they'd be like this this social media has got balls yeah i'm voting for it wendy's tells it like it is well finally that's what we need in here like what it it just became
Starting point is 00:18:58 every social media does that now for every brand and it's yeah it's it's ubiquitous and lame and yeah it's nobody stands out anymore it was really cool when Wendy's was doing it yeah what I like though no it's not I feel like the face gym social team kind of flips that and is just just does it to Eric yeah yeah what the fuck
Starting point is 00:19:19 which is more enjoyable because it would be old if you know they kind of were sassy to the audience. Yeah. Thanks for sending in all your favorite local places for Eric to try out. He's compiling a list. Yeah. We haven't talked about this.
Starting point is 00:19:32 We're going to do an episode where he reviews all the the jammer submitting suggestions. Whoever decided that the hey, what's the breakfast taco place or whatever is like, fuck off like that. What a terrible tweet because none of the suggestions or whatever, is like, fuck off. Like, what a terrible tweet. Because none of the suggestions were good. What do you mean? At all. You got a lot. You got plenty.
Starting point is 00:19:50 No, none of the suggestions. I know, that's the thing. I got plenty. None of them were good. A lot of them were like- Did you hear Taco Bell took potatoes out of their breakfast tacos and now they're not good? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Dude, a lot of the tweets are just like, I don't go to a place, I eat them at home. Why did you reply to this? Well, they want you to know. Maybe you go to their house. Maybe they want you to come over. We do an RTX at home. Let's do Face Jam at home.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Jesus Christ. Come to your house. At their home. At like Andy's home. Yeah. Specifically. You're coming to your house. So anyway, just keep those tweets up.
Starting point is 00:20:26 In 2005, a woman falsely claimed to have found a human finger in her Wendy's chili. I remember this. Causing an estimated $21 million in lost business for the restaurant. The woman's husband got the finger from a co-worker who lost it in an industrial accident, but kept it because a very normal thing to do with your severed finger is to loan it out to your friends to do funny fast food pranks. Arby's, you're next. I do remember that as well.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah. That's berserk. Don't you fucking turn off car. I'm in charge of you. Oh, you got a dumb car too? It's not. No, see, my car doesn't think at all. See, your car has a brain.
Starting point is 00:21:07 It's just a tiny brain. My car is just a heart and lungs. I cut the brain out. You know what I mean? It just does whatever I tell. I don't want it doing anything on its own. But sometimes, you know, like you've seen Jurassic Park. Life finds a way.
Starting point is 00:21:20 It's trying to, like, grow a brain stem. And I just stamp it out. And then I'm back in control, baby. It's trying to like grow a brainstem and I just stamp it out. And then I'm back in control, baby. AC's pumping again. That's nice and cool in here. Great. Thanks, car. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Smack it around a little bit. Yeah. So do you think you would put a severed finger in chili? Well, you got to wonder how that process went, right? Did the guy go, fuck, I just cut my finger off. And then someone said, wait, stop. Save the finger. Bring it to me.
Starting point is 00:21:47 My wife will put it in her chili. We'll do this whole scam. Or do you think the guy just went, yeah. So I got this old finger lying around from when it got chopped off a couple weeks ago. And the guy went, hmm, if you lose your finger, it can be reattached. It's correct. So how, like, was it just was everyone like right after the accident kind of gather i was like hold on now we got a lot of options here we can we can
Starting point is 00:22:12 take you to the hospital put it on ice or and hear me out there is a wendy's down the street i think what happened is the guy was doing, obviously working in some kind of, uh, factory construction type thing. Uh, he was using like a table saw and then, you know, that half that finger went,
Starting point is 00:22:32 ah, and it's gone. Yep. It's right around lunchtime. Everyone's like, ah, everyone's running around in a circle. We got to put it on ice.
Starting point is 00:22:39 We got to put it on ice. Nobody has any ice. Mark, who's dumb, but he had a solution. He went, i got i got i got right here and it's his bowl of chili and he doesn't ask for permission he just grabs it and throws it into the chili that's what it is i agree i can hear nick now yeah Yeah, I can yeah, it's really weird you unupdate This insane this is laughing and then I looked at it was Nick laughing I wasn't because I'm like that doesn't sound like Jordan's laugh, but I'm looking at Michael and it's not him Shut up
Starting point is 00:23:23 Shut up The laugh is so loud now We're almost 20 minutes in He hasn't said anything He's talking but he can't talk And then he just starts giggling out of nowhere What happened? Nothing was funny No
Starting point is 00:23:37 Nothing was funny until I told my chili cup story And then here we are He loved it It's because chili is like a, chili's a sauce. That's why. Yep. That's true. It's true.
Starting point is 00:23:48 He couldn't resist. Anyway, last fact. In 2006, Wendy's introduced the Frescata sandwich, a deli-style sandwich designed to compete with Subway. They were discontinued shortly after because of assembly time, but I think it's because they didn't have a mascot for the sandwich who would show off his big pants, then invite people
Starting point is 00:24:09 into them? See, again, Nick's two favorite things, sauce and Jared. You got him hooked on that. Now he can't get rid of the guy. Can we get that wasp back in here? Can you fuck with this man's phone again? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Fuck, man. Oh, my God. Yeah. There's not much you can add to that. I mean, have you ever had a first pot of sandwich? No, it sounds gross. And also, you don't need to compete with someone. There was really no description at all. And you said, it sounds gross and also Don't bother you don't need to compete with There was really no description
Starting point is 00:24:46 At all and you said it sounds gross Yeah It's like a sub sandwich and then no other Details were given and you said gross It has the word scat It doesn't No take one of them Poopoo buns
Starting point is 00:25:02 The scat scat witches. It's raining again, by the way. It's a drizz. It's a tiny little drizz. It's just, you got to point it out every time, because it happens every time we're in the car. Are you Frostachino-ing right now? You doing a big Frostachino chug? I'm empty.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Oh, bummer. I dripped. I should have got... That's the small. That's the small Frostachino. That's insane. That's a lot Frostachino chug? I'm empty. Oh, bummer. I dripped. I should have got... That's the small. That's the small Frostachino. That's insane. That's a lot of Chino. I had half of it.
Starting point is 00:25:30 My heart is racing. You give the other half of mine? Yeah. I'll take it. Oh, I threw it away. But also, I was going to say also, but like, you got to disinfect it. Pour some bleach in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:40 And then I'll drink the Frostachino. I got some hand sanitizer. I'm not going to get sick. Okay. It's been six months. I haven't gotten sick yet. I'm going to start now of this guy the Frosted Chino. I got some hand sanitizer to mix in. I'm not going to get sick, okay? It's been six months. I haven't gotten sick yet. I'm not going to start now off this guy's unfinished Frosted Chino. Yeah, I'm going to drink it.
Starting point is 00:25:50 I'm 190 pounds, but I'm going to pour some Clorox into it. Of course I'm going to drink it. I'm a fat fuck. I'm a fat slob, dude. I was saying before we started, I'm inevitably waiting for the onslaught now of people telling me,
Starting point is 00:26:03 I weigh more than 190 pounds. That's not fat. Like, it's a contest. I'm fat waiting for the onslaught now of people telling me, I weigh more than 190 pounds. That's not fat. Like, it's a contest. I'm fat, okay? Much like MySpace. I don't care. I'm just telling you. This is MyFat.com.
Starting point is 00:26:14 For me, I'm fat. Trust me, okay? Right, right. I'm the one that got to roll out of bed every morning slugging around my house. Already full. I woke up today and i was full it doesn't make any sense i went to eat and i was like i can't i'm full god Was this it? No.
Starting point is 00:26:49 See, there's a box truck, and I thought maybe the truck was driving. No, but the van could be in the truck. There's no van. That's how he's hiding it. I'm not hiding it. You told us. Well, this is perfect. He never wants to do a van segment, but. There's no van segment.
Starting point is 00:27:00 But, Jordan, we're right. It's spitting silly. We're right here. So let's spit silly about this van. This is like a good time. So, once again... Drop the segment. He tricked us into coming to the office to surprise us with a van. Nope.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I don't know why he's playing hard to get, because I feel like, you know, we're already like, we want it. You win. Give us the van. He's playing hard to get. For no reason. Uh-huh. But, it dawned on me, right? So, at the time of recording this, we've got RTX at home going on right now.
Starting point is 00:27:28 And they came and they begged and they succeeded and we're closing out the show on Friday with a snack attack. We're gonna do like an 80 minute or so snack attack. We'll probably get at least four or five snacks down. And so that will have come out by the time this episode comes out this is going to come out the following tuesday that's on friday yeah he's giving us the van on snack attack i'm yep we're getting we're coming we're doing we're
Starting point is 00:27:58 going to the studio we're getting tested on thursday we got our we got our covid tests no so we can get cleared we go in the van. We're going to walk in the studio. The fucking bay doors are going to open. There's going to be a van right there. This is going to play. Ribbon there. Fucking Ty Pennington is going to go move that bus and then the bus
Starting point is 00:28:18 is going to move. There's a van behind the bus. It's going to be crazy. I'm calling it. That's what's happening. I can't believe you got Ty Pennington. That's not what's going on. There's no van. He said special announcements. He said special announcements.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Yeah, because at this point, we're already past it. There's a van. So they have to be right. The Spice Rat shirt is the announcement. We've already talked about this. Yes. The Spice Rat shirt is going announcement. We've already talked about this. Yes. The Spice Rat shirt is going on sale during the snack attack. So there's that.
Starting point is 00:28:51 And then we also have the sauce monkey in the cup. Right. And how do you think you're going to show that off in the stream? You're going to open the van and all the merchandise is going to be dangling in the van. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, too. The audience knows we're right because they watched it already. They know you're wrong.
Starting point is 00:29:06 There's no van. We were already driving around in the van at the end of Snack Attack. I hate this. I hate this. Nick let me sit on his lap and honk the horn. It was great. He did that? Nick's giving a thumbs up.
Starting point is 00:29:20 He's giving a thumbs up. Yeah, that's the thing. If we're getting tested, I'm touching everybody. Oh, yeah. Why would you the thing. If we're getting tested, I'm touching everybody. Oh, yeah. What? Why would you? No. Because we can't.
Starting point is 00:29:28 It's not safe now. But if we all get the go-ahead, we can't catch something we don't have. I'm just going to get weird. But we still shouldn't touch each other. Why? Why? Let me touch you. I think when we get the van, we're going to just want to hug and touch each other.
Starting point is 00:29:46 That's what's going to happen. The thing is, too, Eric. Yeah, he's got the monkey mask. The thing is, Eric, don't put up a fight. It's already happened. He's touching his face. We already touched you. It didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:29:56 There's no need to fight. There's no need to fight. It did for the listeners. No, it didn't happen. They're listening right now going, man, Eric looks like an idiot. Michael touched him in the van. Not like that. Not like a Frescata kind of way.
Starting point is 00:30:09 It's like Eric showed up at the van and I tackled him playfully and we started slipping around and our shirts came off and then Nick started squirting sauce because he was holding the sauce monkey dolls and we got a little lathered up, and, you know, things just got crazy because we were so happy that we were tested, we're not sick, and we have a van. And anyway, you've already seen that, so I really am just, I don't even know why. Yeah, you're just excited. I'm excited in the past, but in the future, you know it was good content. There's no van.
Starting point is 00:30:43 There's no van. Yeah. There's a van. There's no van. Yeah. There's a van now when you, the audience is listening to this. Do you remember when the show used to be about food and we did it for like half an hour and it was regular? Briefly. Briefly. Boy. You look at the show now though. Evolution baby.
Starting point is 00:30:57 It's so much better now. You look at the show now and that was only a tiny part. Uh huh. Right? Like maybe by episode if this were episode 6 I'd say uh oh we're getting away from where we started. I can't even see back that far anymore. So it's
Starting point is 00:31:13 fine. We're in it now. This is what it is baby. If this doesn't jive with you jump out now. We're on the freeway cruising down with the fucking face jam van better tuck and roll because we're not slowing down. Did you ever hear about that story of the guy taking a bunch I think a bunch of mushrooms, maybe it was a bunch of
Starting point is 00:31:30 acid and he's just in the passenger seat of the car. They're going down the freeway and he looks at the driver and he goes well, this is my stop and he just opens the door and gets out. No, that's awesome. That's what you should do if you don't like this show right now this is your stop
Starting point is 00:31:46 and we got the van that guy was driving there's no van why is he yelling yes van that's you know what that's a good argument how about this
Starting point is 00:32:02 yes van I hate it. I hate Spittin' Silly. I hate the van segment. I love Spittin' Silly, and we just combined two into one. But here's the thing. Now I feel like if we cruise on in to what the Pretzel Bacon Pub Cheeseburger is, we're back on track, and we're doing well on time. It's true.
Starting point is 00:32:20 It's true. So why don't you get into it, Jordan? I will. I'll just let me plant this seed. Now that we have the van Sure that we have the van we need to find out by the time this is out. We have the van Eric announced it. Nope. We need to figure out what our next thing is. We need to like what is our next goal? Well, that's right. So just think about that. We're greedy. We have the van now. We're over the van
Starting point is 00:32:46 Yeah, I mean say I have a van sucks yeah wow who needs it what the fuck do you want a van for we have one who needs it right uh it's like a week after christmas yeah now that we're on top of van mountain we need to we need to look up to that next peak and and climb okay well we'll keep my eyes open yeah i'll keep my eyes open the van kind of like we didn't go looking for the van. The van found us. The van came to us, yeah. That's true. And then Eric then went back to the van to get it to us. But okay. He had to chase it down. Certainly
Starting point is 00:33:14 there's no van. We have not conquered any mountain. We're not, nothing to look forward to. There's no van. I don't know why he's doing this. He's just going to look stupid. He's going to sound so stupid. Anyway, pretzel bacon pub cheeseburger. A quarter pound asterisk, a fresh never frozen beef, warm beer cheese sauce, applewood smoked bacon, smoky honey mustard, crispy fried onions, pickles, and a slice of Munster cheese on an extra soft pretzel bun. Come for the pretzel bun.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Stay for everything else. That's the cheeseburger. So that was mostly just describing what the food was, and then they threw in just a little thing at the end. Where's the asterisk? What does that mean? It's the quarter pound before cooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Way before cooked. I will say, too, back on the Wendy thing. I forget that they always do that. That was always their thing, too. That was Wendy's big thing I forget that they always do that. That was always their thing too. That was Wendy's big thing is always fresh, never frozen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:09 That was their other thing I wanted it to be quarter pound asterisk a fresh asterisk asterisk never frozen asterisk asterisk beef. No. Cross, cross, cross.
Starting point is 00:34:17 You can't fault Wendy's for that. That's fast food law. No one has a quarter pounder after cooked. Yeah. What do we got? I did not know that it was warm beer cheese sauce. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Did you feel like you tasted the warm beer cheese sauce? I definitely tasted smoky honey mustard. I did for sure. Yeah? Really? At first I thought it was mayo, but I didn't gag, so I knew it wasn't. Now I can't hear Nick again. I thought it was just,
Starting point is 00:34:45 I thought it was just like melty Munster cheese. I didn't think there was a warm beard cheese sauce. Yeah, like the smoky honey mustard, warm beard cheese sauce, and Munster cheese. Yeah. They all seem like the same thing, like when I ate it.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I don't know. But what about the other sandwich? Here's how the chicken sandwich is different. It is a juicy, lightly breaded chicken breast, warm beer cheese sauce, applewood smoked bacon, smoky honey, mustard crispy, fried onions, pickles, and a slice of immune stir cheese, all on an extra soft
Starting point is 00:35:15 pretzel bun. More than just a pretzel bun, even though it doesn't have to be. What the fuck does that mean? I have no idea what that means. More than just a pretzel bun, even though it doesn't have to be. Well, first of all, it's not more than a pretzel bun. It is just a pretzel bun. Correct.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Yeah, everything else is everything else. Even though it doesn't have to be. I'm just confused at what they're trying to say. Why do they have to put these little quips at the end? Like, just fuck off. You heard it. You heard it, Melinda. Fuck off. You heard it. The thing that- You heard it, Melinda.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Fuck off. I agree. Like, the copywriter just went, and I'll put my little flourish at the end here. And it's like, there wasn't any other flourish in the rest of it. Like, you don't have to- He didn't work it in. He didn't work it in. It's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Right? It's just like, here's the description. And now my little sentence. Here's what happened. That was the second guy. He got handed it, and they went, punch this up. Do a little punch up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Make it a little spicy. Yep. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to, like, you need to weave it throughout the whole thing so it doesn't feel like it's two different authors. Whatever. Press material. You're going to like this one. Good creaking.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Quote, we love working with our culinary innovation team to deliver on emerging food trends and flavors that customers can't get enough of said carl laredo chief marketing officer of the wendy's company we married the fervor for our former pretzel bun with the increased love for gastropub-inspired flavors and create a cheeseburger that is, in a word, unforgettable. Fuck. I'm still thinking about it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I also love working with our culinary innovation team to deliver emerging food trends in flavors customers can't get enough of. If you went to that guy, if you went to Carl and said, hey, Carl, name one person on the culinary innovation team. His fucking head would explode. Also, the name Carl Laredo seems like a Will Ferrell character. seems like a Will Ferrell character. Also, The Wendy's Company.
Starting point is 00:37:31 I did not know that's what they were called. Yeah, right? Why do all these companies have to have... I know that these are press releases, and it's good for this show to have this kind of thing, but like... It's very funny. But like, what's it for? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yeah, it's true. This is just like a lot of noise to go like we made a cheeseburger right yeah i i'm waiting for like and especially from wendy's like how come their pr team can't be like the social team where it's like we made a burger put it in your fucking mouth loser yeah to get you know you're gonna suck it down yeah yep yeah yep let me check their sassy twitter and see if there's like how they announce this thing okay you you check their sassy twitter i'll keep this rolling by just saying i don't know if he's ever done this before because i kind of stopped reading at that point because it's all a bunch of nonsense uh but eric wrote getting the food under that we're eating in a parking lot and
Starting point is 00:38:19 you didn't go to wendy's well what was it like getting the food eric i ordered on the wendy's website it accepted my work credit card so i didn't have to pay for it out of pocket all right and then his frost it didn't get declined this time no not this time there's enough money in the account they said okay uh i ordered online and it's like do you want to do like carry out dine in or drive through and it's like what the drive through why would you drive through for a pickup order that's what i did though because i had to know what the fuck it was it it has to be for people who are like grubhub or like doordash or whatever uh you put in the order online you never have to get out of your car you roll up to wendy's you go to the drive-thru and
Starting point is 00:39:11 you go hey what's up my name's eric and i have an online order and they go okay when you go to the speaker yeah you just say i'm here i never understood that yep and then they pull they tell you okay pull through and then you go to the window and they go, okay, yeah, it'll be done in just a minute. All the order was ready, I guess. All they do is they hit activate, so it's not like you set, but you don't set a time to pick it up at. You just essentially
Starting point is 00:39:36 queue it and pay for it, so all you have to do is go there and they go, this is you, here's your shit. And that was it. That actually makes a lot more sense because most places offer that and I never understood it because I was like, I order food, get it in real time, get home and it's already cold. Yep. I'm not going to fucking chance.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Like, you know, like I'm going to say, hey, my order's ready at 520 and then I get there at 520 and it was done 10 minutes ago, it's going to be a fucking ice cube. And I'm like, you already got a wait-through drive-through anyway. Just order it there. But that is some comfort to know that maybe they're just waiting to push the button, so then they still make it. And if you're, which I think a lot of people are in this day and age, I feel like we're the last generation that grew up having to talk to people.
Starting point is 00:40:24 I don't know about you guys, me growing up, it's like, hey, we're ordering a pizza. You're the kid, bitch. You order it. I feel like we're the last generation that grew up having to talk to people. I don't know about you guys, but me growing up it's like, hey, we're ordering a pizza. You're the kid, bitch. You order it. I'm not doing it. I'm paying the bills. I'm not ordering shit. And a nine-year-old would call up and order a pizza. Now, people don't want to talk. I don't want to, but I'm afraid. People are afraid of human
Starting point is 00:40:39 interaction now. So if you're afraid of human interaction, you do the fucking computer, then you just go, order number seven. Then give you your food i found i found a tweet by the way it took them a second to make it because i they're like okay here's your frostachinos pull forward we'll give you a sack full of food in just a second so i just pull forward i hung out and then they ran it out to me and it was like oh this is like a great way to do this so you could just do it you know how like you're with your ex-girlfriend and she's like oh i just learned that i like wendy's but i don't want to look at the drive-thru and like look at the whole fucking menu and try to figure out
Starting point is 00:41:14 what the thing is that i want now you can just order it from home pay for it go to that drive-thru grab it and be done and you're taking a lot of like the fucking what a great solution for that very specific problem yeah but i'm right all right here here's here's a tweet uh okay it says so we have this cheeseburger and it's got this pretzel bun and some beer cheese and some onion tanglers and some bacon and then there's some more cheese folks it's super good that's way better it says that's i think that's way better than the other shit i hate wendy's twitter i hate fucking hate wendy's twitter and here's a sassy tweet from them somebody had uh tweeted at mcdonald's and said your spicy nuggets are bad no one can beat wendy's spicy nugs and they quote retweeted it and said
Starting point is 00:42:00 just making sure they see this whoa like. Like that. That's because nuggets have sauce. He's back. He's back in the conversation. He's back laughing. I hate Wendy's Twitter. I hate it. It's so stupid. But you know what Twitter isn't shitty and that people don't hate? At FaceJamPod.
Starting point is 00:42:20 That's right. They're only sassy to Eric. Yeah. They might be sassy to you too if you're stupid i can't i can't speak for them i don't i don't i'm gonna i'm gonna put an asterisk on there they're usually only sassy to eric but right watch out watch out if you're dumb could be you they might they might come after you they might they might call you Eric. I do agree that that's better than what they had written because it kept the spirit of being... Yeah, it had the whole thing throughout.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Exactly. I like that, but then at the same time, it's like, Wendy's Twitter sucks. Go away. Damn. No, Wendy's is my friend, and I reply to that. Yeah, no, Jordan liked it. He read that just now and said, I like it.
Starting point is 00:43:06 We have back and forth, and I tweet them funny jokes, and yeah, we're friends. All my friends are brands. Have you had the spicy nuggets from McDonald's yet? Weird. Yes. What'd you think? I think they're pretty good. I think they're better than McDonald's regular nuggets.
Starting point is 00:43:24 I don't know how they rank in the grand scheme of nuggets. The spice is actually spicier than I thought it would be. Me too. Yep. I guess we're not eating it on the show then? Nah. I mean, we'll get to it maybe if it's still around sometime. Jordan, Jordan, just because I've ate something doesn't mean I'm not gonna
Starting point is 00:43:39 eat it on the show. I'm just saying you're reviewing it now. No, we're not giving it a score. I'm not giving it a score. I'm just saying they're not bad. And I feel like to continue this review, I feel like the breading made them a little bit crispier. Yeah. Yeah, normal.
Starting point is 00:43:56 They were... But, well, maybe I'll try them now. When we review them, I might not like them. Ooh, think about that. He might wake up feeling full that day. Yeah might not like them. Ooh, think about that. He might wake up feeling full that day. Yeah, that's true. So that was getting the food, and now guess what? It's review the food time.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Okay, so we're reviewing the McDonald's spicy nuggets. No, what? Yeah. No, what? Guys. It wasn't bad. The chicken one was pretty good. Oh, I'm shocked. Get it without pickles, though. The chicken one, pretty good. I'm shocked. Get it without pickles, though.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Not a fan of the pickles. I was eating it, having an okay time, and saw something on the horizon when I was eating it, and I was like, ooh, is this a little jalapeno? That would be interesting. Got to it and took a bite, and it was a pickle and ruined the whole thing. Ruined the whole thing? One pickle?
Starting point is 00:44:50 The whole thing is ruined by the pickle. Wow. Yeah. I did not like the pickles in it. I think it ruins the whole complexion of it. The whole flavor profile goes to shit when you introduce like, I don't know, the kind of like,
Starting point is 00:45:08 vinegary. So one, one little thing throws off the whole ecosystem. It really did, yeah. This is why you can't bring like a bug from,
Starting point is 00:45:14 you know, some other country to America because then like all the crops will die or something. That's true. That's what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:45:22 That's why you can't bring a bug. That's what you're saying. That's why you got buddy custom agents like whoa Otherwise you got wasps flying around trying to take my burgers and fucking frosted chinos Update knife with killer hornets What happened with that though, right was a killer hornets and then that was a fad yep Yeah, I haven't seen I don't know. I don't know one person that got killed. I don't know one person.
Starting point is 00:45:48 I was just saying, killers in the name, right? You can't just throw that shit around. It's like killer hornets. Well, they're kind of big. I was at the grocery store the other day, and I was in the fruit section, and they have like 500 different kinds of apples. And sure, it's like you got your gala apples or whatever, and this apple. One of them was called Delicious Red Apple.
Starting point is 00:46:07 Like, you can't just call something delicious. That's nonsense. Yeah, that's the name of it. That's crazy is what it is. It's a fucking delicious. It's a fucking red apple. It's a red apple. Did you try it?
Starting point is 00:46:15 Was it not delicious? I can't know for sure. It fucking pissed me off is what it did. Hey, try the delicious banana. How's it fucking call it? Get out of here. Anyway, back to my review. Thanks for the interjection of Apple talk.
Starting point is 00:46:32 No problem, dude. Anytime. Anytime. The first thing I noticed, like, pulling it out of the wrapper, is the smell of the, I guess it's the beer cheese sauce. It smells like queso. It. It smells like queso. It's very much like queso. Yeah, I think it's pretty much queso, yeah. But it didn't taste like queso, so it doesn't taste how it smells.
Starting point is 00:46:54 You eat with your eyes and your nose first. And I was a little turned off right away. But then I took a bite and... Eyes turned on. You felt a little something? Yeah yeah the dial went the other way i felt a little tingle the shrimp started turning into a hot dog dollar 50 man you can get the combo um but yeah i think the chicken is good
Starting point is 00:47:27 it's a little lighter than the burger eating the burger was just like the burger is what I expected it's a fucking grease ball you take a bite and you're just like oh I'm full yeah you bite it and you feel like me you're like 190 pounds it fucking it fucking punches
Starting point is 00:47:47 you in the gut right it's like one bite is all i needed so i definitely like the chicken one better i think that the burger was just too too slop too gross especially with the pickles so get the chicken no pickles rating them together yep it's gonna It's going to be a little skewed, but the chicken helps it a little bit. It is a 63. 63. Wow. Okay. 63.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Okay. That means he really liked the chicken. Yes, it does. Yep. Yeah. If it was just the chicken, it could have been so much more. So. I ate the burger and the dial went.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Yep. 100% agree. The chicken's better. It's just better at Wendy's in general. This food aside, I don't go to Wendy's to get burgers. No. Now, don't get me wrong. I'll get burgers because I'm already there. But he's also getting chicken. But I'm going for the
Starting point is 00:48:39 chicken. It's weird that you're 190 pounds now. It's not that weird. It almost makes sense, though. I never said it was confused. Eating the chili cheese fries on the way home can be messy, but it can be done. He gets two fries, one for the drive home and one for when he's at home. Does that mean you don't want fries with your order? Of course I want fries with my order.
Starting point is 00:49:08 This is extra. Wendy's chicken is great. I love the pretzel bun. I love pretzels. I'm a big fan of soft pretzels. I think the pretzel bun, a lot of times they sell a bun and it'll be some kind of like, oh, this is honey wheat or even like Subway and sandwich places that do like, well, we have the cheese bun.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I never feel like I'm eating cheese. You know what I mean? I'm never like other cheese bursting out of this bread. This is like a pretzel. I can get I can wrap my head around like it's got a pretzel flavor to it. Real quick, the bun on the chicken burger, or chicken sandwich, was not as plump and good as the one that I had on the hamburger one,
Starting point is 00:49:52 which I thought was weird. Really? That was intentional, or you just got a bad bun? No, I just think it's an inconsistency thing. That probably lost some points for you, too. If I had had the bun on the cheeseburger on the chicken, oh man. I'm talking about swapping buns. had had the bun on the cheeseburger on the chick oh man dude we're talking we're talking like high 70s sorry go ahead but then but then the burger would have
Starting point is 00:50:18 been even worse so how would the score have gone up yeah probably would have been the same. I wanted the bad bun with the bad food. Insane. So my thing with pickles, I like pickles. I don't usually like them on sandwiches. I would rather eat a pickle on the side. You know, I grew up with like a sandwich. If you have a plate, you got a sandwich on a plate, you got chips, and you got like one pickle slice or like a whole pickle.
Starting point is 00:50:44 However, I enjoy these pickles. I feel like they're small enough, but they're thick and crunchy. They're not stringy. Like McDonald's has pathetic pickles. McDonald's has like the super thin, almost stringy pickles. These at least have a nice crunch to it. So I'm actually fine. The ones on mine were huge.
Starting point is 00:51:02 They were giant. Oh, really? Yeah. Mine, the ones on my chicken sandwich. Inconsistency. Yeah, the ones on my chicken sandwich were fine. Like they were bigger than McDonald's or whatever. Dude, the other ones were like fucking thick cut.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Like they were like monster. They were big. One fell out, and Eric, you can take a picture of this. One fell out of my burger and it's on the ground still. So get out of your car and take a picture of it. No, I think I'm okay. Take the pickle on the ground and go put it with my burger on the ground. See how many wasps we can get.
Starting point is 00:51:33 The wasp stole from me. Don't worry, it was only like two bites left, trust me. I ripped through both of those sandwiches. That's how he could pick it up and drop it on the ground like that. Yeah, he held it over his head too, which was crazy. He screamed, I'll kill you! And I was like, that was a killer hornet. So, there's not really much to say
Starting point is 00:51:53 between the chicken and the burger. One's burger meat and one's chicken. The chicken's far superior. I like everything. I like everything on there. The burger's just so much more dense. I like... It was just weird because the chicken's certainly larger. Yes. It's just like it's larger but it's lighter. It's really weird, yeah. The burger is just so much more dense. I like, it was just weird because the chicken's certainly larger. Yes. It's just like, it's larger, but it's lighter. It's really weird.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Yeah. The chicken, I fucking loved. And also, now you didn't mention this. I love the spice. I forgot about the green. I love the spice. Because it had a kick to it. Was there a kick to it?
Starting point is 00:52:21 No. You're wrong. Yeah, it did. Nah. Did yours not? Mine wasn't spicy. Let me lay out this timeline for you. So, a couple of weeks ago, when I was at Wendy's getting the spicy chicken sandwich, I was
Starting point is 00:52:35 bombarded by a giant menu item called the Pub Sandwich or whatever. And I thought, fuck, I'm not here for that, but it's new. I'm going to get it. So I ordered it. I went home. I ate the chicken sandwich. Then about five hours later, around one o'clock in the morning, I sucked down the pub chicken burger and I went, wow, that was pretty good, but it was cold.
Starting point is 00:52:56 So I don't know. I don't know how good it was. So then I got it yesterday and I ate it hot right away. And it was really good. So good. So I texted Eric, and I said, I had an epiphany. You know what would make this even better? Get mine with the spicy chicken, and then I'll eat that one. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:53:15 And then Jordan can eat the regular one. And then today, Jordan said, man, I wish I was eating the spicy chicken sandwich, not just the chicken. And I did eat the spicy chicken sandwich, not just the chicken. And I did eat the spicy chicken sandwich. And it was awesome. The least you could have done. The least you could have done is get me a fucking Frosty then. Yeah, and I didn't even tell him not to get you a Frosty.
Starting point is 00:53:38 I just left you on the spicy chicken. He took it upon himself to cut you out from the Frosty as well. I also like how he just played along when he went, mine wasn't hot. You son of a bitch. It made it even sweeter that he got it. Because I would have done it, but he got all the food. This thing could have gone like an 80.
Starting point is 00:53:55 This thing could have had an 80. If only you. So I'm going to say combined score. I'm out of here. I'm giving this thing, mostly because of the spice from the spicy chicken sandwich, I'm hitting it with a 94. 94! Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:12 94, mostly because of the spice. I feel like, honestly, it was like the spicy chicken probably got like 115 or something, and then the burger evened it out to like a 94. In my head, it makes sense though because 94 is still one number. I'm just telling you, it broke the 100 barrier for me. Dang. It's incredible. 78.5 is the average rating.
Starting point is 00:54:33 And I feel like we've rated other foods that high. Deserves higher. Yeah, I agree. If he ate a spicy chicken and no burger. He didn't ask for one. He didn't ask for one. That's true. I didn't think I could.
Starting point is 00:54:45 I guess I'm mostly mad at myself for not thinking about that, but also. Well, Jordan, the problem is you didn't eat it twice, okay? It took me two times to come up with this. Yeah. And then as I was eating it, I went, this is the same thing. There's no reason. They don't offer it. There's no reason you can't put spicy chicken on this.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Right. And my God, they did it. Well, if I ever get it again, I'll try it. But I don't weigh 190 pounds, so I'm probably not going to get it. Probably not going to get it again. Why not? You should get it again. Because I don't weigh 190 pounds.
Starting point is 00:55:16 No, but I'm just saying, you could probably still get it. Well, the thing is, Jordan, you don't need to weigh 190 pounds to get it. You need to want to weigh 190 pounds. Yeah. It's the journey. And he did three times to get it. You need to want to weigh 190 pounds. Yeah. Yep. It's the journey. And he did three times to get these great ideas. Trust me. I blinked and I got here, okay?
Starting point is 00:55:35 Didn't even mean to. And that's the... I was just getting over how mad I was about the Frostichino and then... Yeah. No, I knew it was really gonna... I knew it was really gonna I knew it was really gonna stay Once the Frosty thing happened, I knew you were aggravated I'm not, yeah, I'm not mad
Starting point is 00:55:52 I'm just kinda annoyed I'm really, really aggravated I also don't like I don't like that you guys got this line of communication going between you, outside of outside We have the same line of communication. You can talk to him too. Yeah, but you're
Starting point is 00:56:07 planting these ideas in his head about other things and then telling him specifically not to do it for me. What the fuck are you giving me? I didn't tell him not to do anything for you. I just said I want the spicy chicken sandwich and I assumed you didn't ask for the same thing so you wouldn't have it.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Let me read this. Hi Face Jam, love the podcast and I wanted to send in one of my favorite mints. Not really a snack but Michael will suck it down so I don't have to worry too much. From James or Bonzer006
Starting point is 00:56:41 on the site. The site I assume refers to the Roosterteeth.com website, which we are affiliated with. Check it out, roosterteeth.com. I'm not quite sure how we are, but we are in some way. And it's a mint. What kind of mint is this? Oh, did you not, it didn't say it on the sheet?
Starting point is 00:56:57 I'm sorry. No, it never does. Oh. It's a pickle mint. Oh, man, I just put it in my mouth. I put it in my mouth too I put it in my mouth. That's what I was waiting for. It's very light.
Starting point is 00:57:11 I don't know that I could have said pickle if you didn't tell me. Yeah. Really? It's there, but it's very subtle. Yeah, it's very light. If they had put these on the pump chicken sandwich, I would have been fine with it. You think they should have hit pickles?
Starting point is 00:57:31 This is crazy. This is why you didn't get a spicy. It's better than the other pickles. They're not bad. They're not like, this is gross. I'm trying to chomp it to get the flavor aroma out. I'm trying to like chomp it to like break up the, get the flavor. I question how effective of a mint it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:52 My mouth doesn't feel refreshed. It doesn't taste. Yeah. Like it's very cleansing, at least as far as your breath goes. Right. It doesn't taste like pickle. I'm breaking you. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:03 So do we knock it down for being a bad mint and a bad pickle mint it's up to you it's what you feel about it this is your score it's false advertising very bizarre well the thing is I would never eat this as a snack I would never eat this as a snack let me get them pickle
Starting point is 00:58:20 mints but I don't think it's that good of a mint for a mint but it also tastes fine. It doesn't deserve to be punished. No, it just, you know, I don't know that it should exist. It's not its fault. Yeah. Someone made it.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I'm just going to give it 50. Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing, 50. Okay. You know? Average score, 50. And, you know, I think- Are you sure about that once you put that through the number cruncher uh crunching numbers take out your phone yep 50 wow yep so i
Starting point is 00:58:54 think that that's i think it's fair because i agree with you it's just it exists simply it exists it's not good nor is it bad it's just just... Yeah. Thanks, Boozer007. Yeah. That's kind of it. Well, if you want to send us snacks, we're pretty much fresh out. I mean, as of when this episode comes out. It's Bonzer. I knew you were going to double check. I saw you looking for it.
Starting point is 00:59:16 006. You said it, and I don't know if you saw it. I went like this. I went, that doesn't sound right. And I was just watching you. Because reading it, reading Bonzer, B-O-N-Z-E-R, you just want to say boner. Yes, 100%. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:29 But there's a very striking Z in there. Yeah. I was like, boner? Hello. No, this was, see, this is, that's Sean Bean. Ah, 006. There you go. So if you want to send us snacks, feel free.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Yannis. Alec Trevlin. Trevlin? Trevelyan. Get out of want to send us snacks, feel free. Yanis. Alec Trevlin. Trevlin? Trevelyan. Get out of here. Pringlin James? For me. Face Jam.
Starting point is 00:59:51 I can't believe Em died. Oh my God. Oh man. Send your snacks to Face Jam. Care of Eric Bedore. 1901 East 51st Street. Austin, Texas. 78723 um i wrote
Starting point is 01:00:07 we currently have too many so don't send more however but that was before the no i think i think we i think we have enough they can stop so if you want to send snacks feel free but don't you call it can we can we call it the snackening the snackening you want to call it snack attack the snackening yeah okay i'll update i don't know who the fuck to update the snackening see this is this is what the audience loves right they're gonna watch the snackening they've already watched it and then they'll get to see it that become the snackening and they're also gonna see that van we'll be fucking doing wheelies and shit in the van. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Yeah. Make sure, can we make sure the van's got a couple of skateboards in it too? What van? There's no van. It's a good aesthetic, right? Put a half pipe in the van. There's no, there's nowhere to put any of the stuff that you guys are describing because we're recording this on Tuesday. You have three days.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Yeah. Put a quarter pipe in. You have three days to put a quarter pipe in. Like, it's fine. This is ridiculous. You have, you have, you don't, if you want to be, if you want to really give it have three days to put a quarter pipe in. This is ridiculous. If you want to really give it to them, say, you have 72 hours. Ooh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:12 The dawn of the first day. Follow us on Twitter at FaceJamPod. You can keep up to date on everything like the Spice Rat shirt, which is on sale now. Yeah, buddy! Unless it's sold out. I'm not really sure how it works. Probably sold out. I don't think it's. Is it put on demand?
Starting point is 01:01:28 I don't think it is. So it might be sold out. I don't think it is. But we did a surprise drop. It is a beautiful shirt. We did a surprise drop on Snack Attack. So we said, hey, jammers, you're watching this, the snackening. Check out.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Thank you. Check out this brand new Spice Rat shirt. A special announcement. And a special guest announced it too. So that was pretty fun. The van? The van can talk? Can it talk? No, there's no van.
Starting point is 01:01:55 There's no van that can talk. Is it like Herbie? It's not. You're like crawling out of your car, but through your car towards me. Is Herbie the love bug? No, the van can't talk. We had a special announcement for the special drop of the Spice Rat shirt.
Starting point is 01:02:12 There was a special guest who did it. Who was driving the van? There's no van. Dale Earnhardt Jr. was driving the van? Oh, man. That's on sale now. But also, we also announced the- Can we paint it like his car?
Starting point is 01:02:24 Can you just finish? We also announced the... Can we paint it like his car? Can you just finish? We also announced the Face Jam cup. And we also announced the Sauce Monkey plush coming soon. So those look cool. Love that plush. And I'm very excited. It's cute. Little Nick plush.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, Nick in his truest of forms. Yes. I mean, you can see his eyes in it. If I die one day, I'm not, we don't know that I will, but if I die and I'm greeted by someone saying, what have you done?
Starting point is 01:02:54 I'll point to that plush. Oh, yeah. I'll say, see this thing? You should have seen my notes. I was like, make it like a monkey doll but a man and can you put a man's eyes in the middle and they did it they did and they did such a good job did such a good job eric eric like photoshopped like a plush that we make and put like the monkey head on it and was like make this and they fucking
Starting point is 01:03:27 did they did such a good job and I'm glad that that for some reason is going to be Nick's legacy he's like he's awesome he's like director level in this company and it's like yeah he's a monkey too he's gonna he can show his wife that dongle
Starting point is 01:03:43 look it's me. And she's going to be like, give it to your newborn child to play with. Wow. Look, two papas. Two papas. That, listen, that plush is worth having a kid alone.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Just so you could brag to somebody. You know what I mean? Yeah, your kid's going to love it. So you better go home and start fucking. Well, that'll do it for this episode of Face Change. Michael, I'm going to go drive by stage two and see if I can sneak a peek at the van. Okay. There's no van at stage two. That means he's at stage four.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah, he's hiding somewhere. See? The dude played him like a fucking fiddle. Fiddle. Fiddle me this, little fish bitch. Rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat the food and also talk about vans and rate the food. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:04:40 And starting next episode, driving vans! There's no van to... Beep, beep! I'm not honking. I'm not honking. That was like a brain sink, too. We both started honking at the exact same time. Even Nick did it.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Who do you think's driving? He's driving the van! Oh, man. He can't see because he's wearing that monkey mask. We're all in danger. It's fun. No, because he's got the slit! Okay. Okay, goodbye. No, because he's got the slit. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Okay, goodbye. Okay, bye, everybody. Bye, Eric.

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