100% Eat - Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Pub Chicken Sandwich 2
Episode Date: September 13, 2022In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Pub Chicken Sandwich again so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Face Jam having the power, the f...irst ever twopeat, the underwhelming release of the greatest sandwich of all time, and that we knew about this and didn't need you to tell us it's back. Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam16 and use code facejam16), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/FACEJAM), and 30 Morbid Minutes (Listen to 30 Morbid Minutes wherever you get your podcasts!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production. to show what we try for new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. Look, I'm sure you do.
Okay, I'm your host, Michael Jones,
alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers.
Jordan, how are you?
I'm feeling like a certain flag in our old recording booth right now.
Oh, no.
Feeling quite honored, thank you.
Oh, that's good. Okay, you're getting saluted.
Yeah.
I see, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, that's good, okay, you're getting saluted Yeah, I see, okay Okay, well that's good
Today we're reviewing
That's right, it's back
You've told us for some reason, like we wouldn't know
Like it was fucking news to us
Like you found out before we did
Like you took a bite out of it
And then said, I better tell FaceJam
It's true, the Wendy's pretzel bacon pub
Chicken sandwich is back And we're just straight up reviewing it again right out of it and then said i better tell face jam it's true the wendy's pretzel bacon pub chicken
sandwich is back and we're just straight up reviewing it again god damn right our first
ever two pete first ever two pete i mean i guess honestly yeah yeah yep they've changed nothing
except their horrible mistake that's right getting rid of, uh, I never thought on this show,
I thought we'd work really hard to not repeat a food ever.
This has to be the first repeat.
And I wonder if that opens the door for other stuff.
Look,
I don't want to do,
we did do the tiny tacos twice.
Technically.
No,
what?
No,
you know what?
We did tiny.
Second to not true.
They were different.
No,
that's true.
I forgot.
Here's the thing about that that was not the
same tiny that was not an intentional two p we weren't trying to make it that but it was but
halfway through we realized it was the same food and it kind of became the first two right so this
is the first intentional to wendy's didn't even make the sandwich red i mean i would say that
maybe like why wasn't this red?
Like maybe when Kat brought those
tiny tacos the one time. The time you told
her to bring them so you could... Well...
That was like snack attack.
But also we saw that you were driving the bus
and trying to run her over with it
and we were like, Eric, please stop.
We know it's you. Well, yeah, you stink.
That's for sure. Well, she doesn't work here
anymore, so... You were just talking to her, apparently. Well, yeah, she works. That's for sure. Well, she doesn't work here anymore. So you were just talking to her.
Well, yeah, she works on other shows.
Okay.
She doesn't work here.
Right.
She was.
Well, she's not a closer.
It was weird because he was like, I was just slacking about this.
Yeah.
Or D.
You're in the bottom right.
She after sending me more information.
She also let me know more, even more information about the spit incident.
Okay.
Let's not get wrapped up.
I'm just saying.
There's a lot of information.
The spit incident.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Was Harry Styles spitting silly?
That's all.
I think he was just really excited for our new show.
Spitting silly?
Yeah, absolutely.
So he just started spitting silly?
Yeah.
It was a very silly thing for him to do to Chris Pine.
Straight up camel style.
A man.
Camel style.
Yeah, he was doing it.
I thought it was llamas that did that.
Camel spit?
Do camels spit?
Camel spit.
I just didn't see camel style happening.
I saw the footage.
And this has nothing to do with the pretzel pub.
Oh, that's true.
And is something we should be talking about on Spit and Silly.
However, it won't be topical because it will be three months from now when it comes out.
So we've created a show that we still can't really use the way we want.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Because to avoid recording one every week because we don't want to be a weekly podcast.
And we never will be.
And we're not a weekly podcast.
We are two fortnightly podcasts. If you haven't heard. We tend to batch record
them. And so it'll be another
month before we do them again. We do tend to do it
the one time we did it.
And we'll do. So far it's a tendency.
So far it's 100%.
We've batch recorded three
every single time. You know what I say?
You know what I say? Prove me wrong. It's true.
You're right. Try it, you piece of shit.
Is that hot enough for you?
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Is that loud enough for you?
Still trying to give Nick his mic test.
The first episode of Spittin' Silly is out now
and we choose a theme song.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I will say of the three we've recorded,
the only one that had to get cut in half.
Yeah, that's true.
The other ones.
It just took so long listening to all the music
and Eric just kept picking bad ones.
No, there were a lot of new ones.
Insets.
Crazy bones.
Like, that sounded like a five.
Donkeys.
Yeah.
This one just says donkey.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
And then it wasn't even good.
It wasn't good at all.
It wasn't even like a bunch of donkeys.
It was like a piano kind of making like a donkey sound a little bit.
But that's not this show.
That's right.
That's that show.
And we don't talk about that show in this show.
No, no, no, because they don't cross over.
We're just letting you know it's there.
We got to get it out.
And at this point, really, it just shouldn't be brought up.
But not to be confused with the upcoming section later on in this show, Spittin' Silly.
Yeah.
Now, you got to remember, there's Spittin' Silly the show and Spittin' Silly the segment
in a different show.
Right, right.
We tried to make it as simple as possible.
Right.
And not confuse anyone.
People were asking, people were asking people were
like oh it's spitting silly going away no nope no it just started yeah and they and they might ask
yeah exactly that's true it's one episode what are we gonna cancel yeah when we get rid of it
well i think they meant the segment but you're crazy uh-huh um well what's why why would we get
rid of it i know it's a great question i don't know i think it's like well that's the answer
as far as they were spitting silly right now oh i don't know definitely are well i don't know. It's a great question. I don't know. I think it's a, well, that's the answer. I'd go as far as to say we're spitting silly right now.
Oh,
I don't know.
We definitely are.
Well,
I don't know.
We have to,
that's a third instance of it.
No,
we're still in today's food.
Oh,
that's true.
We're not talking about past experience.
No,
we talked about past a little bit.
I like Frosty Chino's by the way.
Oh yeah.
You want to ask my thoughts on those?
Yeah.
I enjoy them.
I get them every now and then.
Yeah.
Jordan thoughts.
About,
uh,
Frosty Chino's.
Yeah.
And how they're worse versions of Frosty's?
What?
In my opinion?
It's different.
I wouldn't.
I don't know.
It's worse at all.
Here's the thing.
If you want a Frosty, you would never order a Frosty Chino.
Right.
You get a Frosty.
You would also be smart if you really wanted one to order it yourself.
That's true.
Because sometimes your friends are actually enemies.
Oh my God.
Did Wendy kill Dave Thomas?
It's mine now, Dad.
That was a revelation to Nick.
Yeah.
Whoa.
It's my face on it, Dad.
It's mine, Father.
Damn, dude.
I can't believe she killed him.
She did it.
Wow.
Yep.
That's canon now. Now I know. You know why now i know what jordan's talking she wanted a frosty and she didn't get what she wanted
there's no way in the 90s were you a madman they didn't have the technology
to make had to put frosty plus coffee i have one hot hot coffee and one cold cold frosty
and they must never meet.
It would be crazy to do so.
And give it to Jordan.
Past experience with the greatest sandwich of all time?
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, I didn't even read that.
I'll be honest.
You change things so rarely.
It's your own fault.
It's true.
Wait, hang on. there's some nuggets in here
i never read anything yeah before the facts damn you gotta do it once over and i'll be honest he
operates on that yeah that's that's why there's so much wrong with it the first time he's changed
it no i've been changing it every week it's different all the time why do you change it
every week no i don't care We do the show every two weeks.
Oh, that's right.
Every two weeks.
We're not a weekly show.
We're doing the last episode.
Sorry, I keep thinking that we have a weekly show.
We don't.
It's two fortnightly shows.
So we're eating the pub sandwich again.
And now this is past experience,
and I pointed this out before we started.
I like that.
Of course, it's the burger or chicken option,
as it was last time. You not only didn't ask if we wanted burger or chicken you just got us the spicy chicken yeah and it
was the right call oh yeah we just i was just like this is great there was zero questions man
didn't ask me a single question i'll be honest i forgot they made a burger version of it yeah oh
yeah me too why would you do that to it yeah It's only if you run out of chicken. And spicy should be the default.
So here's the thing.
They added spicy as the,
because before it was either the burger or the chicken sandwich.
And then in the chicken sandwich,
you had to go like,
oh, I want spicy
or I want grilled or whatever.
One of the items,
it's just spicy.
Just the spicy version.
Yeah.
They would call it.
That's why it had to go away for so long.
Good number 11.
Yeah.
They like, absolutely.
Because they had to get the new menus out.
I think they knew that spicy was the one.
Oh, we forgot to do that.
We forgot to slam a sticker.
I'll do it after.
Oh, man.
If we had had one when that guy was talking to us.
Which guy?
Oh, man.
Who do you think?
Oh, man.
I don't know.
Pretend like I wasn't there.
Our new friend.
We made a new friend at the restaurant.
He didn't talk to him at all.
Yeah. No, I was busy. Nick and I did the heavy lifting. Yeah. Youend like I wasn't there. Our new friend. We made a new friend at the restaurant. He didn't talk to him at all. Yeah.
No, I was busy.
Nick and I did the heavy lifting.
Yeah.
You pretended like you were busy.
And Jordan was staring straight ahead at a wall.
And Jordan's crouched in the corner under a table.
I was far enough away where I could just hear and be like smiling under my mask.
Being like, this is awesome.
I was hiding behind Nick.
Yeah.
I was on my phone doing work for other shows and then it was
just a homeless man walked up to us at the wendy's even though i ordered the food and it said how are
you picking this up and i said this is great through and i just went okay we'll go through
the drive-thru say you have a mobile order and i said i said i'm not doing that and it was like
okay i guess i'll say it and then it was a conversation of now we'll go
inside we have to go inside that's where the good shit happens you are fucking right we go inside
there are four people working at the wendy's there is a fry cook a woman assembling hamburgers a guy
running the drive-thru and a woman running around to each and every
station right over and over and over doing every job fucking crazy and it's not like they were that
bit like there were some cars in the drive-thru right but when you have when you have four people
yeah it looks busy when you're dealing with a light load of of. So we, I tell them I have a mobile pickup.
Great.
They said, give me a couple minutes.
I said, no problem.
So we stand off to the side,
take some pictures in a booth with only one sign.
Oh yeah, that was great.
You guys are staring at a wall.
That was great.
And then as we're hanging out,
I'm trying to get information on the Spitzident from Kat.
Such a good name.
And then a homeless guy comes in,
goes over to the soda fountain,
and starts just going,
water!
Water!
That was the thing I learned immediately.
He just kept saying it.
And I was like,
I hope he doesn't think it's voice activated.
Because it's not.
And then...
But he got water.
He got water.
And then he wanted to let us know
about a car he saw on fire that before that he came up
to us and ingratiated himself oh that's right some other i it's crazy i understood everything
about the car incident but everything else he was talking about before that he was mumbling he was
like hey guy you just look like you know he's standing around like on the rough riding thing
you know like yeah he started talking about some, like, river ride, about, like, we
look like guys that would go on that,
or that we
should have been doing
it then? I wish
we should have been river riding
today, I think is what he was saying. However,
we were in Wendy's. We were at Wendy's, and
he said we had, like, a positive
attitude or something. He said we were
bringing positivity. He was nice. And then, we were like, right on or something. He said we were bringing positivity.
He was nice.
And then we were like, right on, man.
And then it was quiet.
And then he went, I saw a cloud of black smoke coming out of a car.
I'm going to tell you what happened over here.
It was a long time about hearing about a car on fire and the jaws of life. Yeah.
The fire department showed up.
The jaws of life started talking about people.
Maybe there were two teenagers in it.
Two teenagers were running away and
he said i didn't see no one and then i'm pretty sure he mentioned something about someone being
naked yeah yeah i heard i heard that too and then he said he was trying to get water or someone was
getting water to put on the fire so i don't know if that's related yeah to him wanting i think so
i assume the fire department was involved we mentioned the jaws of life he's kind of right
he's kind of pantomiming a hose.
He was like, water, water.
Yeah.
Throwing water on it.
He was like holding a hose.
But then like the black smoke kept going.
But then what did he say?
It was a Dodge Charger?
Is that what the car was?
Or a Challenger.
He did.
He did.
Yep.
He narrowed it down to one of two models.
For a car.
For a guy who like you couldn't really understand him.
He really was having like.
He was telling a story.
Very eloquent in his story.
And then, I will say, this was better than most conventions that I go to.
Because his story ended and then he walked away.
It's true.
He didn't linger.
He sat down and he was drinking his water.
He went somewhere else and he did something else.
And that was the end of the interaction.
Again, better than most conventions that I go to where people just keep hanging out.
I'm just going to, I like to stand by the booths and see like if any funny interactions happen.
Are you venting about conventions?
I feel like it's very hypothetical.
Is this a big D or a little I right now?
Oh, there's a big D.
Are you sure?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He just walked away and that, and it was great.
And then we got our sandwiches.
He looked like Woody Harrelson.
He absolutely did, because I was thinking it, and then you said it afterwards.
And I was like, his dad was also a killer.
An assassin.
A contract killer that's out here shooting judges.
Yeah, he definitely looked like, I think somebody said season one of True Detective, like an
extra from that.
Yeah.
He was like one of the swamp people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
Swamp people.
He was having a good time at the Wendy's.
Yeah.
And so were we, I guess.
And that's why we go inside.
I will say, I will acquiesce and say, I was wrong's why we go inside that i will say i will yeah i
will acquiesce and say i was wrong and we should go inside yeah yeah i yeah it was great it was
it was so worthwhile and good i mean we literally walked in there you said i had a thing and we
stood there and then he came up to us was like hey what's up with you we had this whole conversation
your food's ready when we left and i I'm like, that, that's suspicious.
It was so,
Jordan going,
we should go inside
just makes it seem like
Jordan knew that guy.
It really seemed like
it was planned by someone.
You know what I mean?
Like it was so efficient.
I called ahead.
Where you were like,
don't give us the food
until the guy walks away.
I mean,
I mean,
it worked so well.
That's what it felt like.
If there were one or two
other coincidences,
I,
I'm sorry,
you would be found guilty even though you're innocent. Yes. That would be one of those things where it felt like. If there were one or two other coincidences, I'm sorry, you would be found guilty
even though you're innocent.
Yes.
That would be one of those things
where it's like,
surely all of this can't keep happening
by chance.
Right.
Well,
I'm really tired of us making things up,
so I just try to engineer.
It has to be real.
The podcast has to be real.
Yeah.
I still,
I look at things like that,
like that happened today
and think,
how does it always happen?
It's always face jam.
But then you realize it's pretty much just human beings.
Yeah.
It's pretty much what happens when you go outside and you don't have a podcast.
It's true.
Yo, I'll tell you what, that guy, he doesn't matter what you're there for.
If you're doing a podcast, if you're shooting a movie, if you're on the river, if your car's
on fire, he will be there to hang out with you. Hey man, you look like you'd shooting a movie if you're on the river yeah if you're on if your car's on fire he will be there
he's standing next to the
place to go
to hang out with you
hey man you look like
you'd be a little
positive attitude
we're riding on the river
I will say the only other time
I wave to him when we laugh
oh that's good
yeah that's a nice guy
nice guy
the only time I get
anything like that
in general was years ago
with Mega64
where we would go through
TSA and they'd just go
you guys a band
like that's the only time
so I wonder if it's just the dynamic of,
you don't see four dudes together very often.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I could see TSA or anyone looking at like you
and Garrett and Derek and Rocco and going band.
Band.
Like, yep.
That's a band.
You're the roadie.
No.
Yeah.
I play bass.
Let the little guy carry. I play bass. Let the little guy carry.
I play bass.
It's bigger than me and I hide.
Should we do the show?
Yeah, let's do the show.
Oh, yeah.
It's not on here, but I have a haiku.
Oh, that's right.
Why isn't it on?
Why'd you delete it?
This is from an old fact sheet.
Pre-haiku times?
Yes.
He had to go back to the original.
I have different formats.
It's unbelievable.
He had to go back because he has to copy the name. So he went back to the different format it's unbelievable he had to go back because he he has
to copy the name so he went back to the original one and so he's like ah finally the name is there
the name is different everything else uh the reason for it was uh making sure that explain
the reason okay he just explained that's it you're right he just explained it how about a haiku
he just explained it he doesn't tolerate incompetence and you're being incompetent
right now oh man be quiet let him do that. Being a real SC.
Jokes for us.
That's the bottom of the chart behavior.
Geographically bottom.
Right. It doesn't mean
anything bad. It just happens to be
there's a bottom and there's a top. There's a left and a right.
It just happens to be that we're at the top.
That's it.
Pretzel Pub, part deux.
Ripped from loving arms.
Returns from heavens below.
The people rejoice.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
The goddamn do.
That was.
The people goddamn do rejoice.
This, like, we have people telling.
We always tell them, like, you don't have to let us know about the food.
We'll find out.
We'll pick the food and it's all this stuff.
This was on our radar for months.
We were just waiting for it to happen.
First of all,
almost every suggestion you have is bad.
Second.
That's why I strongly say,
don't tag me in them.
Tag Eric in them.
Fine.
Just don't tag me in them.
Second,
a lot of times you're talking about
like your aunt's
sandwich shop
that isn't a chain
we can't go to
and other jammers
if you're ever in
Rhode Island
great man
yeah
and so
we're good
yeah
okay
got it
then three
is something we will
actually eat
but we already know about
yeah
and that was this
and I will say,
as much as I don't want to get tweeted at,
as much as I don't want that stuff,
it was so cool to see so many people excited
about the sandwich
and how they immediately associated with Face Jam.
It's true.
Because we are the heroes that brought it back.
Yeah.
Oh, they should.
Absolutely.
100%.
At least a written letter.
Yep.
Anything.
It doesn't have to be face-to-face.
That might be a little embarrassing.
Sure, yeah.
I could see them like,
yeah, it'd be a lot of them looking at the ground
like sheepishly like,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You know, but make it in like a fancy font.
Yep.
Make it look cool.
Make it look cool.
Make sure it's signed,
not one of those stamp signatures.
Yeah, if we could get three of them.
Mm-hmm.
Like, so we could all take one.
Yeah.
All three of us.
All three of us, yeah.
We could frame it.
Well, I mean, that's...
What's he going to do with the accolades of a man?
He just made a noise like my dog when he wants to go to bed, but it's not bedtime yet.
What do I do?
We have to learn about the food, though.
We have to learn about Wendy's.
We do?
I don't know anything about this.
We don't know anything about it.
So let's learn.
Our previous Wendy's episode was released February 15th, 2022,
where we ate the hot honey chicken sandwich and biscuit.
It received an average score of 72.5.
It was okay.
Yeah.
But we were like, no pretzel pub. I think it was really. Yeah. But we were, we were, we were like, no,
it's no pretzel pub.
I think,
I think it was really,
it was really a thing where it's like,
we got to stop going to Wendy's until this is back.
Oh,
I barely went there.
Yep.
They hurt me.
The last time we had the Wendy's pretzel,
bacon pub,
cheeseburger,
and chicken sandwich was September 29th,
2020.
Dang.
It received an average score of 78.5.
Can you believe that?
Solid score.
Solid score.
And that's after Jordan giving it a lower score.
Yeah, it's true.
I think he gave it like a 98 or something.
It was down there.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, this next fact here.
God bless Wendy's.
God bless Face Jam.
God bless our heroes. That's a fact that last those
last two sentences and he put it in and said the same thing the third that's usually more near the
bottom effect like no i that's the one that you want no that's i want people to know god bless
dude we got to make a face jam flag oh something to salute yeah what if it's like your hero okay
so what if it's like the california flag i was where it's the monkey he's on he's putting on
he's like one of those like he's one of those weird medieval monkeys that are like crawling
on all floors hey Hey, the upcoming merch
isn't a bad monkey pose
for a flag either. That's true.
He's flying.
Imagine that on a flag.
That'd be pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Do we write Face Jam Republic on it?
Don't write Republic.
How about Don't Step
on My Face Jam?
Don't Jam on Me. Don't step on my face jam don't don't jam on me
pretty good this is great we'll come back to this later or jam
live face or die jam oh nice um through leaked documents,
it was revealed that the pretzel bacon pub chicken Sammy Slammy was coming back to Wendy's, and thanks to loyal jammers,
but especially our heroes,
Wendy's was forced to return the item to menus around the world.
Face Jam holds the power.
We have them over a barrel.
This is incredible.
Yep.
You're welcome, Wendy's.
Damn.
Hey, sorry for all the profits.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Sorry for all the influx of people complaining
when you took it away.
And putting stickers around me.
Yeah, that's right.
There might be some I did that stickers.
I apologize.
If you did that, slam them on there.
Take a picture.
Send it to us.
It's penance.
If you did that and you did it without us telling you to man they're gonna get in trouble
but that's so cool you know we would never condone that right but you're not condoning it but if you
already did it you know i don't have a time machine otherwise obviously i would go back and
stop you right i don't have a time machine i don't literally the first thing he would do right that's
what i would do first thing i would do. Right, that's what I would do. Get that sticker.
Stop you from putting the sticker on.
You're about to put the sticker
down and someone grabs you and it's me
and I said, think about what you're doing, son.
Third thing I'm doing? I'm putting Mark Wahlberg
on that plane. That's right.
Choke the monkey.
Things are going down a little different
I just gotta see
I gotta know
Oh man
We can cut that out if you want
No leave it in
And right into the next fact
Smoothly as just finishing the last sentence
That I was saying
And just started the next one
As of this recording
Wendy's has made no fanfare Or press release regarding the pretzel pub,
but did announced they are teaming with Uber eats to create Rick and Morty
combos.
Those are already out by the way,
that include the hot honey chicken sandwich.
And we believe this is because the pretzel pub is too powerful.
I didn't know where it was going until the fucking last short sentence.
I think Rick and Morty didn't want to be overshadowed by the pretzel pub.
Yeah.
It's Justin Roiland going,
no,
we can't,
we can't be associated with that.
It's going to overshadow our brand.
Yeah.
I honestly pretzel pub above Rick and Morty.
Right.
Honestly,
I went to the mobile app to order it.
Um, whenever it was like officially out
and uh it's the only reason i went and i immediately went looking for it and i saw that
on the it's like yeah it's on like the sub menu of like you know burgers fries whatever like the
whole list and it's like halfway down there yeah and i was like what the fuck is that and i clicked
it and then it's yeah like some weird burger and a weird drink and i was like what the fuck is that and i clicked it and then it's yeah
like some weird burger and a weird drink and i'm like why is this like halfway down the page
and then also looking for it i guess the pretzel pop i mean like it well it was weird because the
thumbnail it's like morty's and it's but like wendy's hair and so it's like what the fuck like
you see it immediately so fucking funny they're so fucking funny. They're so fucking funny. I wish I was smart enough
for that show. Morty's like,
you have to be so fucking smart. No, Morty's like
Wendy.
Do you get it? I've seen kind of what he's saying,
but I can't quite, the puzzle pieces aren't.
I just don't. Yeah.
I didn't go to,
I didn't take engineering classes. I don't get it.
Oh, I thought you were going to say, I didn't go to Wendy's.
That's how I knew.
I went to Wendy's. I'm smart. I don't get it. Oh, I thought you were going to say, I didn't go to Wendy's. Yeah. That's how I knew. I went to,
I'm smart.
I went to Wendy's.
I went to Wendy's and got out.
A final fact for you that I'm sure is going to be awesome.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Read it.
A bowling green woman.
That's in Kentucky.
Is this in Ohio? No, it's aling Green woman. That's in Kentucky. Mm-hmm. This one's in Ohio.
No, it's a Bowling Green woman.
She'll.
There's a Bowling Green in Ohio?
I hadn't thought about a Bowling, green.
Yes, I had to look it up.
Jesus Christ.
A Bowling Green woman is suing Wendy's for pain and suffering, loss of enjoyment of life,
and medical expenses after contracting E. coli from lettuce used in a burger.
This was recent.
Yes.
contracting E. coli from lettuce used in a burger. This was recent.
Yes. She claims she ate
a Dave's single hamburger with a
side of cheese fries
and junior chocolate
frosty on August 1st, and this could
have all been avoided if the pretzel pub had
come back sooner because there's no lettuce
on this motherfucker, but Wendy's
was too stupid to figure
it out. Wow.
Yeah, I heard about that. So this was after the leak happened, right? Because the leak happened mid too stupid to figure it out. Wow. Yeah.
I heard about that.
So this was after the leak happened, right? Because the leak happened mid-July.
Yes, correct.
The pretzel pub was coming back at the end of August.
And then nothing.
Radio silence.
All the way up into like August and this coming out going, yeah, there's E. coli like at Wendy's.
And beyond the fact that the pretzel pub doesn't have lettuce, you still, it's like, oh no. Yeah. You don't want to go to the E. coli like at Wendy's and beyond the fact that the pretzel pub
doesn't have lettuce
you still it's like
oh no
yeah
you don't want to go
to the E. coli place
immediately I looked it up
Texas was not one of the states
we were in the clear
I think like
it was four states
it's like Pennsylvania
Kentucky, Ohio
and some other
I was like
not slowing down the pub
fly over
fly over
fly over
I'm not eating lettuce there anyway
yeah
that's what I'm saying
and honestly she wouldn't have either if only the pretzel pub was there Not slowing down the pub. Fly over, fly over, fly over. I'm not eating lettuce there anyway. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I would never.
And honestly, she wouldn't have either if the pretzel pub was there.
And also, they released the pretzel pub and they didn't even let people know.
She probably saw the leak and was like, oh man, I can't wait.
I'm going to start revving up for Wendys. I got to get my Wendys fix.
I got to get the Wendys lube down my throat.
I got to get my stomach used to it.
I don't know if you know this.
Wendys adds something to all their food where
any Wendy's food promotes other
Wendy's foods consumption.
And so it leaves this kind of
thick gelatinous
grime. There's some enzymes in it.
Scientists are still figuring it out. It makes the next
Wendy's get down easier. Yeah.
Wendy's has enzymes.
They call them Wenzines.
Two for two on the portmanteaus.
You know, and now I'm going to crack into my nice, warm, Welch's 100% apple juice from Concentrate.
I found this in the refrigerator.
And I asked, why is this in here?
I've never seen this before.
Because children work here.
I started yelling, but they always have.
That's true. After X amount of years
and going, fine, we'll give you the apple juice.
Baby gets apple juice.
I don't understand why those are in there. There's no more
coffees. The coffees
are fucking gone. There are. A good alternative
to coffee is juice from concentrate.
It's so sweet.
I forgot I was drinking apple juice.
Mix some with your water. Dude, kids drink some crazy shit. Oh, I forgot. I was drinking apple juices. Mix some with your water.
Dude, kids drink some crazy shit.
Yeah, kids are nuts.
Oh, my God.
Speaking of children working here, we did see, as we were walking in, our good friend
Pasta Pete returning.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
From what I can only imagine was a trip to the grocery store.
It was.
And he said that he doesn't grocery shop unless he's, like, at work?
He was at,
I think, H-E-B for lunch.
And while he was there,
bought all his groceries.
Which basically was just a bunch of...
It was just a bunch of those fucking, like,
heated them in the oven meals that H-E-B
makes. Yeah. The simple meals.
And a half gallon of milk.
But anyway, he was putting them all in like
the kitchen. He doesn't even have a bag
first of all. He's just stacking them up
and like carrying them. Yep. And yeah,
he's hunching over the fridge, putting them in.
It's like the communal refrigerator, which is not very
large. He's putting a
single man's like
week of groceries, shoving it
in the refrigerator. He's just like, here's
my lunch for the next week at work.
I asked him.
He didn't answer me.
I said, are you going to write your name on those?
He didn't answer me.
I think he was trusting that other people won't eat them.
Hey, don't touch my 14 ready-to-serve meals in the refrigerator.
He did say if you wanted some of the milk, he's fine sharing the milk.
He offered us the milk.
That's true.
I was going to open it.
I made coffee because we didn't have any cold ones.
And I was going to open his milk and use it and then not tell him.
He said something to like he's not afraid to share.
Yes.
He was like, I'm not afraid to share the milk.
It's like, you know, like a child.
He's probably been talked to before about.
He's just learned about sharing.
So he's going to give it a shot.
He needs to share a little more.
That guy's older than us, I think. I'm pretty sure he's older than us oh that's cool i think he's he's definitely older
than me pete yeah yeah i mean we're like the same age crazy i'm basically we're all the same age
right couldn't yeah we're like real not old this guy's old piece of shit the fuck well he's not
he's not older than you i know but the piece of shit was the thing
no I said
this piece of shit
that's what he took
a piece of shit
in your hair
fuck you
I was pointing
at it
you got it
you got it
your hair's getting long
I know
well it's getting tall
yeah
it does get tall
he's getting tall hair
there's a lot of height
to it
gotta get a haircut
but those are the facts
did you learn about Wendy's
no not really what do you mean this was maybe the most egregious set of fact sheets he's ever done
i mean basically from i learned about rick and morty he came back he came back but that didn't
have much to do with him it really didn't have anything to do with it did come back to the to
the the giant green woman who bowls. That was like an actual thing.
Why is she giant now?
I don't know.
Well, because if she's green,
she's got to be big.
Oh, like Hulk style.
She's got to be like
a She-Hulk of some sort.
Yeah, it was peas, right?
Yeah, the Jolly Green Giant.
He's giant.
If you're green,
I just assume you're going to be big.
The BFG, also green?
Mm-hmm.
Is he green?
The gun from...
Yeah.
The big fucking gun?
The big fucking gun?
The big friendly giant.
Oh, I forgot about that.
We're doing Doom stuff?
I mean, yeah, I guess it is green technique.
I mean, it shoots a green thing.
It's BFG style, I guess.
Now we're spitting silly.
Yeah.
Oh, no, we've definitely... Yeah.
We're definitely spitting silly.
We are just like Harry Styles.
Well, he also didn't even put wet your whistle.
Wet in the whistle.
Yeah, that's true.
Because that's another one I was looking for.
Because our whistles were soaked.
Yeah, we were soaked.
I guess that one's getting cut.
Spitting silly stays, but wetting our whistle's gone.
We'll start a third podcast called Wetting Our Whistle.
We don't know when that's going to come out.
Maybe that's a few.
But the theme song will be Dunkey's.
Do what?
We just eat Delta.
All the numbers.
God damn.
That's the third.
He likes it.
That's the third podcast.
It's nine hours long. We all just eat a bunch of.
We go, Jordan, today you're on eights.
You're on nines.
Throw monkeys, 11s yeah just whatever
just see what happens and then we just take bets on when stuff starts happening and we record it
yeah and just kind of you know just see what happens when that stuff happens that's the third
podcast it's uh terrifying yeah legitimately scary oh and we stream it live. I would tell you that I don't support that idea,
but I'm too afraid to speak up.
So good, push through.
Oh, man.
No, two's enough.
Two's too many, actually.
Yeah, really.
But luckily, they're independent of each other,
so it's okay.
Yeah, they're so different. Yeah, they're totally different cast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's the host, actually. Yeah, really. But luckily, they're independent of each other, so it's okay. Yeah, they're so different.
Yeah.
Totally different cast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he's the host, you know?
That's true.
It's true.
Different lineups.
Jordan is the host.
Yeah.
Third one, the monkey will host.
We're both the host of this one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He just reads the intro.
I love it.
It's called hosting.
Yeah.
Well, no, I was saying you're still a host now, too.
Right, right, yeah.
Yeah, we were talking about the co-host thing. He was like, well Right, right, yeah. Yeah, we were talking about the co-host thing.
He was like, well, he's the host.
We were talking about the co-host thing.
There's not a host and a co-host.
There's two co-hosts.
Yeah, yeah, co-hosts, yeah.
It's just who's reading the intro.
But it also sounds weird to call yourself a co-host.
That's true.
I'm your co-host?
Yeah, it kind of sounds weird.
Who the fuck are you?
Where's the other guy?
Yeah, where's the host?
Right, but if you were to go up to somebody and say,
hey, I'm Jordan.
I'm the host of FaceGM.
Yeah.
That would just make you think,
oh, this guy does it all by himself.
Right, right.
Yeah, that's true.
You're like, I'm the co-host of FaceGM.
Yeah, one of the hosts.
One of the hosts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, when you say co-host, it's like,
okay, we're down to two people.
I got it.
I get that.
Oh, can you only co-two?
Co-to me denotes two. Yeah, but what i mean i mean what are the rules though that's true
what can you if you're following the rules what is three if it's not co what is it what is that
tro tro hosts tro ham that sounds right and then you get to faux host that's wow this is
you're making a lot of sense here.
Oh,
I've looked up what is a tro host and it says temporary restraining order.
So I don't think we're that.
You might not yet.
Yeah.
Eric's definitely our tro host.
I know I filled it out.
Oh no.
I'm gonna look up three co-hosts.
Oh no.
And you see a lot of stuff about the view.
Okay. This is...
What are we...
Okay.
Wendy's.
Yeah.
They make food.
Okay.
And we ate there.
I'm just trying to get it back.
I like it.
You were looking at your phone.
No, I was looking at... And you're talking about the view. I'm following you.
And now we have a whole other fucking show for this.
How about we do this? It's not that.
Hey, Jordan. Why don't we learn about the food?
Uh, uh.
Co-host, co-host.
Spicy
pretzel bacon pub chicken
sandwich. Dang, this sounds new.
A juicy chicken breast
marinated and breaded
in our unique fiery blend of peppers
and spices topped with warm
beer cheese sauce,
applewood smoked bacon,
smoky honey mustard,
crispy fried onions, pickles,
and a slice of Munster cheese
all on an extra soft pretzel bun.
Get ready for a hot bite at the pub.
Fuck yeah, I'm ready. You know how we're always talking ready for a hot bite at the pub. Fuck yeah, I'm ready.
You know how we're always talking about getting a hot
bite at the pub? I'm talking about it now.
Sometimes I get hot bit
at the pub.
I mean, you're either
the biter or the bitee.
Either bite or get bit.
Is that like a phrase?
Get a bite
at the pub?
Yeah, like get a bite at the pub? Get up or get bit.
Yeah, like get a bite at the pub.
Is that like a British thing?
Yeah, they probably said that in Shaun of the Dead a couple times.
But like we're saying it with like American accents.
So is that like in a front?
Like you go like, oi gov.
Oh, let me see.
You know what I mean?
Get ready for a hot bite at a pub.
Yeah.
But now you're saying that tracks. I'm gonna say it like in an
American accent though I can't say
this
so I'd be like get ready to
suck it down
that's the American way
yeah because like if they were to say that
but how would they say get ready to suck it down
with a British accent sounds weird you know what I mean
it's like fucked up that's why they phrase
it this way makes sense America you're washing a car with the sandwich damn eat that car no the
sand the wet sandwich the sandwich she's using to wash the car yeah no I'm gonna eat her fingers
yeah just touching the sandwich.
Oh, man.
All right.
How about we learn more about the food?
Yeah.
Like, oh, this is a good press.
A juicy chicken breast marinated in bread.
Nope.
Nope.
The next one.
There is no press release.
The pretzel pubs return.
So here is the previous press material.
Yep.
You left out a couple of words there.
Yeah.
We're close enough.
Okay.
Gotcha. I'll keep going. Yep. out a couple of words there. Yeah, we're close enough. Gotcha.
I'll keep going.
I'll stop talking about it.
Nick wrote that one.
Quote,
we adopted innovative techniques and ingredients.
I've definitely read this before.
Well, yeah.
Oh, I believed it.
I remember it. I'm getting deja vu.
What are you talking about? We adopted innovative
techniques and ingredients you'd find at
popular gastropubs and combined
them with Wendy's signature high-quality
ingredients to deliver this amazing new
cheeseburger, the Wendy's Way,
said John Lee, Vice
President of Culinary Innovation for the
Wendy's Company. After our
first bite into the pretzel bacon pub,
we knew we had all the right ingredients to blow away.
Oh man, I should have stopped reading after blow.
Hell yeah.
Hold on, go back.
After our first bite into the pretzel bacon pub,
we knew we had all the right ingredients to blow customer expectations away.
Even the pretzel bun fanatics.
They're out there.
I'm one of them now.
Lemons!
And create an experience people won't be able to stop talking about.
How did they know?
Now let me tell you.
We did do that.
We did create an experience that no one will stop talking about.
Frankly, I wish you would.
We bunned ourselves.
We got bun crazy.
Yeah.
I don't know that the bun is the thing that I'm going nuts about here.
No, but it's the qualifier.
Yeah.
You know what it is.
They're trying to get people who are already bun heads in there.
People who are seeking out the pretzel buns.
And again, I don't think I have,
I have nothing against the pretzel bun.
I think it's a good pretzel bun.
It's not the star of the show.
Right, it's the chicken.
And I think that people talk about it
because again, Face Jam has the power
and this is a powerful sandwich.
What?
It is a powerful sandwich. Salute us. That part was right. Right again, Face Jam has the power and this is a powerful sandwich. What? It is a powerful sandwich.
Salute us.
That part was right.
Right.
And Face Jam has the power to bring it back.
Face Jam still has you.
Yeah, the power.
So.
Do we have connections with, like, PR firms?
Like, can we, like, release, like, a press release through Face Jam?
Kind of like Michael Jordan did when he said he was coming back.
Well, this is a great idea, too, because they've not said anything.
Exactly.
So we can do—
We can control the narrative.
When someone Googles, like, Wendy's pretzel pub return,
this is a great fucking idea.
That links to us.
Exactly.
And we just say—
FaceJam announces Wendy's pretzel bacon pub.
We announce that it's back because of us.
Yeah.
If you're enjoying it
you're welcome
you're welcome
so on and so forth
we sign off
we did that
we put that out there
and then if people like you
are looking
right
that's all there is to find
that's all you got
because Wendy's is
now I'm
you know what
I'm starting to believe it
they're scared
yeah
they're afraid to see
I'm sorry I'm saying
it's gotta be easy
like all associated press
like will just like
you just send it to them.
AP?
Yeah.
And just be like, here, release this for us.
And then it just goes out to all news stations.
And, like, you're driving home and it's like, from NPR News, I'm Jack Lepiar.
FaceJam has announced the pretzel bacon pub is back.
It's back.
We announced FaceJam announces it's back.
AP reports that the podcast has the power.
Oh, wow.
And quote, we did that.
Who is we?
Who is they?
We did that.
All right.
I put it on my calendar to see if I can figure this out to get a press release.
Yeah.
And make sure on the press release, even if it's digital,
make sure
that there's our stickers on it.
Oh, like to put the stickers on.
At the bottom of the letter.
It's our letterhead.
This thing should only be
two or three sentences.
I think we just say what Jordan just said.
We definitely don't need to get into about our innovative
techniques and ingredients. Not that we couldn't. We could. But we don't need to get into about our innovative techniques and ingredients.
Not that we couldn't.
We could.
We could,
but we just want people to know this is back.
And also the face has the power.
And we did it.
And we have the power.
It's because there's no,
there's no way to parody this without it just becoming.
Yes.
Exactly what it is.
It's,
it's around the world.
Yeah.
And it's not good.
It's like,
no,
we're making fun of it.
It's like,
you sound just like me.
Exactly.
It's wearing a funny hat.
And then like, like you're wearing a stupid hat with like your no, we're making fun of it. It's like, you sound just like me. Exactly. It's wearing a funny hat and then like,
like you're wearing a stupid hat with like your friends
and your friends think it's funny
and then everyone else just thinks you're a guy
wearing a fucking stupid hat.
I like his hat.
No, I'm doing it ironically.
It's not that hat.
That's a good hat.
You're talking about my hat?
No.
You're the only one not wearing a hat.
So I just, he doesn't count.
Do you want my hat?
He's on an island.
No.
Is this an anti-hat thing?
You're not wearing it.
No, I'm saying, okay, I could have said like,
what do you want me to say?
Funny shoes?
Like, what do you want me to say?
We're about to have another good hat. Well, we all have shoes on what do you want me to say? We're about to have another good hat.
Well, we all have shoes on at least.
No, that's true.
We are about to have another good hat.
We got to get that fucking hat made.
We got to see when that hat comes out.
Stay tuned.
Six months from now.
You want a new hat in March?
Hell yeah.
All right, let's review this food.
Okay.
That we've never eaten before.
First two, Pete.
Am I the only one who thought it got smaller?
No, I think you're right. You guys have had it i have had it this is the fourth time i've had it since it came back in your life no
since it came back okay i was gonna say like this is the third time i've had it in my life in your
life no no this is probably like i'm i'm over a dozen at this point. Give me a break. You're way past a dozen.
You're a couple dozen.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You said at least a dozen pictures to me.
Has anyone hit triple digits yet?
Looks at Michael.
Yeah.
Not yet.
I'm working on it.
I'm not keeping track, but I'll feel the numbers.
Right.
Trust me.
Suddenly.
We'll all feel it.
There's 100.
This one felt smaller. I don't know that the last couple Right. Trust me. Suddenly. We'll all feel it. Oh, there's 100. This one felt smaller.
I don't know that the last couple that I got felt this small.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I don't know if this was just it.
But you mean just like the bun?
What's the small part?
The chicken felt smaller.
The whole thing kind of just felt smaller.
I remember it being a big sandwich.
And it was one of those things that you eat and it fucks your day
up um like we do on face jam every every fortnight but uh i ate the whole thing and like you housed
it dude yeah you're just adapting though wow my hand's getting bigger too you're not the jordan
of two years ago just in time people change is it's true and you know my view has changed on
the pretzel bun. Yeah.
I did give it,
I sold it a little short last time.
Well, we kind of fucked you over
last time,
but this time you got the right thought.
Well, finally somebody admitted it.
This is compromise.
This is crazy.
Well, now that I start saying
nice things about it.
Oh, yeah.
We totally talked about it.
I didn't want to do
the Frosty Chino thing,
but...
He made me.
I kept saying,
don't do it, don't do it.
Get back in my apple juice.
It's just like liquid candy.
The spicy is the way to go.
Yeah.
For sure.
If you get it in the right size, great.
Great little burger.
Or sandwich.
Excuse me.
The only thing I don't like about it are the pickles.
Oh.
I feel like their flavor just, it stains out too much with everything else.
Everything else works together really well, like the bacon.
They're all very savory, but then the pickles are just too vinegary sharp in contrast.
So I would get it without pickles if I were to order it again.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Next time I'm feeling like Wendy's, I'll order this instead of my usual.
Awesome.
And I'm going to get it without pickles.
Uh-huh.
And I'm going to enjoy it.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's a whole new Jordan.
It's a whole new pretzel pub, I think.
Okay.
So I'm giving it, you just told me a couple weeks ago that I gave it like a 68 the first
time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It did good.
69.
Eric's upset.
I'm furious.
You want up?
No, you're supposed to say nice.
I'm not going to say nice!
God damn it! What? It i was wrong it was wrong yeah great because i mean the inflation uh-huh of like what score was two
years ago yeah like it's way better a 68 on september 29th, 2020. That's like dog shit.
It's true.
It's true.
69 today.
Damn.
That's good.
And as such, I will now give it a 99.99986.
What's the average on that one?
84.49993.
Wow. Excellent. That's minimum. That's an increase on the average on that one? 84.49993. Wow.
Excellent.
That's minimum.
That's an increase on the average.
Okay.
In one of the last seven I got though,
one bun was real burned and it ruined the whole thing.
Oh,
was it really?
No,
that's why it went down to 865 or whatever.
I mean,
I had,
look.
Yeah.
It was burnt.
Straight up burnt.
They burnt the bun and they gave it to me.
I mean, look, I ate it. Of course I ate it. Of course. It's the bun and they gave it to me. I mean,
look,
I ate it.
Of course I ate it.
What are you going to do?
It's back.
You know,
I got it like seven times in six days.
So did you,
did you start getting like,
you got like Joe on them now to a friend?
Yeah.
Just a friend of ours.
Yeah.
A friend of mine.
I,
I,
I,
I led him to the,
to the sandwich for lunch one day.
And, uh, next day he, he went for lunch. He goes, I'm gonna get that sandwich for lunch one day. And next day, for lunch, he goes,
I'm going to get that sandwich again.
Damn!
I was like, you're learning.
Holy shit.
Absolutely, I will.
Damn.
And then another podcast you appear on sometimes.
What was that all about?
Oh, yes.
I had someone, a bug, a fellow bug employee arrange,
I think it was supposed to be 10 of them to be delivered
because I just wanted to spread the joy.
Yes, and I just said, take it.
And I didn't ask.
There was a bit of a communication between the bugs
because I was like, get 10 spicy chicken.
I don't give a shit what they want.
And then that person relateded it to another.
It was from a caterpillar to a moth or something.
Oh, man.
No, those languages don't.
So then it came back to which kinds.
And then I caught wind of someone saying, oh, I told them just get a couple burgers, a couple spices.
And I was like, no, no.
All of them.
All of them spice.
Yep.
No.
And I said, what do you think I'm doing?
Getting people's lunch orders? Yeah. No. I'm feeding them. All of them spice. Yep. No. And I said, what do you think I'm doing? Getting people's lunch orders?
Yeah.
No.
I'm feeding them.
I'm feeding them this one sandwich.
And I go, and they're like, what if they don't like spicy?
I go, I don't give a shit.
I don't give a shit.
Also, it's not spicy.
Yeah.
I'm notorious spice mouse.
Yeah.
I love it.
Here's another thing to maybe consider about the points I took off.
Yeah.
Start taking them out.
Pasta Pete himself
comes by
to get,
not one of course,
but two sandwiches.
Well,
he's going to have
one for dinner later.
And for some reason,
he's no grocery.
He doesn't go grocery shopping.
He started opening it up
and I caught
glimpse,
not a pretzel bun.
And I was like,
what the fuck?
How the fuck
did he get his hands on that?
And I ran over to it.
All we ordered was this one sandwich.
I ran over.
I ripped it out of his hands.
I opened it and I started ripping the burger apart with my fingers.
Oh my God.
It was a double cheeseburger.
What?
It was a straight up cheeseburger.
And so now I don't know if we got.
You get OV coli eating that.
I don't know if we got.
Oh no.
It's my fingers.
Oh no.
I don't know if we got 10 sandwiches and then that, or they shorted us one.
And we got 9-1, and I got so mad,
I picked it up and I just threw it.
Do you...
I didn't pick it up.
Now think about this.
It might still be there.
I bet somebody ordered the double cheeseburger,
and they got their order fucked up,
and they got one of your pretzel pubs.
Oh, dang.
But you definitely changed their lives with that.
Yeah, they were like, I'm not eating this.
Yeah, what is this?
I don't want it.
That would be insane.
To look at this thing and go, I don't want that is fucking crazy.
I mean, dude, the ingredients are perfect.
It would be like spitting on Chris Pine.
That's not cool.
You don't do it.
You don't do it.
In fact, you didn't do it, but we're still talking about it.
Yeah, we think you did maybe, though.
I should specify you should never spit on,
no one would ever spit on Chris Pine with malice.
Right, yes.
What you do between two consenting adults.
Yeah, maybe he's all about it.
That's fine.
Yeah, but Kat is still giving me information
about whether or not the spit occurred,
so I'm still learning.
I can't wait to see them.
Is this real time?
I want to see a John boy video breakdown.
That's a good idea.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Okay.
Well, that's the pretzel pub.
It's back.
And when it goes away again, I'm going to be furious.
Yeah, dude.
Because they're going to replace it with some other bullshit.
So go get it now.
Tweet us pictures.
Tag Wendy's.
Let them know.
Thank you, Face Jam, for bringing this back.
Here's the other thing. Do you think they took it away just so that they could like generate the outrage
like i know it's like a clickbait you you create the demand by removing being like oh we're trying
our best and then people are just like i want it i want it and then you finally give it to them
but then it's like but it but i i think it can't be that because they didn't announce it that's where they come
out and they say look what we've given you there's no press release there's they don't want to be
subtle i can't i can't be sure but i pretty i'm willing to bet it's rick and morty's fault i think
so too um we found out about it like the day it came out it was there and it's like oh there's no
okay so we'll just wait for like the press
release and see nothing turned up yeah turned up nothing turned up nothing turned up like what
the fuck it came on like chew boom like yep like the day it was actually officially out because
like there was no announcement so they weren't going to post about it until it was actually
happening it was fucking weird like why would they do that because they announced other stuff
they announced the french toast sticks that's why we got to get on this we got to release
the press release release the press release do we have to release the stop holding on to them
who's this guy all right we got snack snack attack uh this is from looks like we got an invoice john
h
here you deal with this yeah why did he bill us for his snack?
No that's a great question
Oh this is from Soris
Sorries?
That's my favorite Kingdom Hearts character
Yeah I'm a Roxas guy
Dude
Spell it backwards
Well actually it's not backwards
Unjumble it and take out the X
Oh
I've never played those games I like Winnie the Pooh Well, actually, it's not backwards. They were. Unjumble it and take out the X. Oh!
I've never played those games.
I like Winnie the Pooh.
That's about it.
He's in those games, though.
That's great.
This is from Johnny. Sounds like this for you.
These are of Pittsburgh.
Sounds like you saw this.
Pittsburgh Pothole Filler.
Oh.
Give me that.
So they got little cartoons of, like...
That is some mud mouth.
Oh, yeah.
They got little cartoons of, like, construction workers working on potholes.
Yeah, but they're like Pittsburgh people, so they look like hell.
Yeah.
It looks like the wind has really been blowing on them for a long time.
These are like some people that say like yins and shit.
Like these people are fucked up.
There's the Monongahela in the background.
What are we?
My dad's from Pittsburgh.
What is this?
Really?
He's one of the four people that fucking left?
I feel like Pittsburgh is a place you're from
and you don't leave
Him and the rest of his family all left
What is this supposed to look like?
I'll tell you what mine looks like
Pothole filler
What's it look like?
I showed it to Michael
and he just left
It's poopy.
Mine was a little penile.
A little bit.
Yeah, but very...
I don't know what it's supposed to look like.
What's in it?
Dark chocolate covered popcorn.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
My head just exploded.
I do not expect popcorn.
You can't fill a pothole with this.
Get that popcorn out of there.
100% agree. The chocolate is great.
That was great.
Dude, you said it right as I looked
into it and I thought it was like marshmallow or something.
I thought it was coconut because it popped too hard.
But popcorn?
That gives nothing.
There's no flavor to that.
It's wrapped in very good chocolate.
Yeah.
It's just sort of a weird thing.
The popcorn is completely unnecessary.
I'm not a dark chocolate guy at all.
This is like a semi-sweet.
It's awesome.
It's really good.
That's a good one.
John H., good one.
I'm knocking points off because of the stupid popcorn in it,
but that chocolate's great.
If you ate this without looking at it, I don't points off because of the stupid popcorn in it, but that chocolate's great. If you ate this without
looking at it, I don't think you would know there's popcorn
in it. You can't even feel
it because it's just one tiny little popcorn
with a stick of chocolate. If you put the whole thing in your mouth,
it's just air. I looked at it
and was like, what the hell is this?
What the hell is it and why doesn't
it taste like anything? That could have been a nut
or something. I think it would have went up.
It is very good, though.
Yeah.
I'm going to give it a 76.
Okay.
Higher than he gave the pretzel pub?
Yeah, but I'm going to go lower.
Okay.
So it's going to even out.
I'm going to go 90.
Okay.
See?
83, which is a score just lower.
Just lower.
Yeah.
Same.
Yeah.
Thank you, John H.
If you want to send us a snack for Snack Attack, you can.
Send it to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street,
Austin, Texas, 78723.
We have a lot of snacks, but I did note don't send more,
but I'm right on that line of saying don't send more,
and I had to see if there were more today,
so I'll say go ahead and send some snacks.
Now you want more. We got Spittin' Silly. We can blaze. That's true to see if there were more today. So I'll say, go ahead and send some snacks. Now you want more.
We got Spittin' Silly.
We can blaze.
That's true.
We can chew right through them.
We have a Spittin' Silly episode
coming out
where we do go through
one person sent a bunch of snacks
in one thing.
And that was perfect
for a Spittin' Silly episode.
Don't do that.
But no,
I mean,
send one snack,
send four snacks.
The problem we do it on this show
is that we do one
of like those four
or whatever.
You know what I mean? You know what sucks?
Oh, the popcorn kernel on your mouth. I got kernels.
Me too. I just want to eat chocolate. Now I got popcorn kernels in my teeth. Yep. Wow.
Hey, follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date
on everything on Twitter and
on Instagram. We should be having more posts soon.
Clips from the show and stuff like that. Wow.
So you're finally doing
it. Great. Finally. I kept
telling him, what are you
what else are you doing
Saturday night
he never answered me
that's right
Michael just keeps going
well just do more
and I just go
you're right
every Saturday night
I text him with clockwork
what are you doing right now
take a picture of it
prove it
Eric's such a
nothing
he's doing nothing
Eric's a little quiet quitter
yeah
yeah you know me
what
yep
refuses to go above and beyond I decided i'm gonna win employee of the
year again this year oh shit are you serious nice yep so when you decide to do that do you just
decide to rig it or like yeah i just decide i'm gonna do it okay yeah so getting there just see
how it goes um spitting silly is out now don't forget it is the other fortnightly podcast that
we do it's not face jam it's on the face feed. So if you're already subscribed to that face, right.
It is exactly like face jam, except we don't eat limited food.
We do whatever we want.
The first episode is out now.
Not to confuse you with this very structured episode.
Very structured.
There is, there's a lot of structure.
It's very, a lot of missing structures as well.
Well, that's what the pothole fillers for.
Spitting silly is a show where we just do for a half an hour.
We just do something.
We review different foods that aren't limited.
We eat some snacks.
Maybe we go.
Jordan wants to do a segment called Court Food Court where you can send in your face jam disputes.
I think face jam pod at Rooster Teeth.com is where you can email email
that stuff we'll see how that goes any any disagreements you have about how people eat food
how people prepare food yep how people talk about food yeah we'll figure it out michael michael and
i are both presiding oh yeah it would be great and i don't know if this is in line of what you're
talking about but getting an actual like it would uh you know they write in those there's like reply threads or like dear so-and-so oh like a dear abby kind of yeah there
you go like advice yes we should do that for food yeah oh food advice like but like but like advice
but like well no no well the food advice can come in between of like the insane story about like
your car
getting set on fire or whatever.
It's like, am I crazy?
My, you know, my brother-in-law, he came over.
Anyway, do you, you know, do you think we should have gotten pepperoni instead?
That could be good.
Facejamppod at roosterteeth.com.
Yeah.
Send us your, send us your qualms.
Your food disputes.
We'll sort it out.
Your stories that have apparently questions.
Yeah. Dear Facejam. Do a Dear Facejam. Let's open that up i like that you're a good one you know we got a fact
check i think i think these are good names if it's a dear heroes one put it in the subject line
yeah court put food court in the subject line so we know what's what that's good you know they
what i like about the audience, they follow instructions so well.
It's pretty great. So,
we will.
We'll check those emails.
We'll see what's going on.
The switch fork is coming back soon.
And maybe,
is there another piece
with the switch fork?
Interesting.
Only time will tell.
Stop touching yourself.
I know.
Like,
we're the only ones who can see it.
We don't like it.
Like, he's not, he's supposed to be stroking his chin,
but he's doing his entire face.
Yeah, he's doing it too fast, too.
Yeah.
He's just kind of, like, monkey pawing himself.
We also have some cool merch in the store,
store.roosterteeth.com the face jam store um
you can check out the face jam long sleeve which i fucking love that the all black the bootleg one
looks so sick best picture of me ever taken while while i worked here yeah it's a good one i was on
that shirt i'm gonna make that my headshot that's a good idea is for all of the acting gigs and then
we also the other shirt that i secretly
love is the monkey mouth shirt that is nick's disgusting mouth from when we did and that's
gonna be his headshot more like mouth shot um and i'm gonna announce it now uh i don't have
the date for it yet but pumpkin spice rat shirts are coming soon i think i think it's a shirt um
i think it's a shirt i i think it's a shirt i
think it's i think that's what we're doing is a shirt eric's leading the charge i didn't make it
up as the only pumpkin spice rat here oh i've had i'm trying to think what i've had more of since
they've been back and i think it's i think it's pumpkin spice lattes a little more digestible
yeah i really slammed down a pumpkin spice latte like
fucking crap I'm a slut for
pumpkin spice dude do you ever eat them together
the pumpkin spice pretzel pumpkin
spice I have not
yeah no that sounds like a shopkins
you guys
dabble in shopkins
or are you more of a
webkins guy
can we do a themed month
for October?
Theme it what?
Yeah, let's figure that out.
Oh.
Like pumpkin shit?
Pumpkin spice.
I mean, it depends.
Like, we don't
it's we don't
is it a four Tuesday month?
Because then we only need
to find two things
for Face Jam.
And then spitting silly
we can do like
pumpkin related snacks
or whatever.
Think of anything.
Maybe.
Think of
I think of a bunch of things.
I got it. Don't worry about it. We can do pumpkin whatever. Think of anything. Maybe. I think of a bunch of things. I got it.
Don't worry about it.
We can do pumpkin spices.
One single suggestion.
We should rate Halloween candy.
Like the best Halloween candy.
What flavor?
Chalk.
Pumpkin spice.
What?
No.
What?
No.
This is something.
This is tangential to pumpkin.
This is October Halloween theme.
There's more to October than the pumpkins.
Oh, we could do pumpkin spice.
Oh, that's a pretty good idea.
I think we should do it.
Not to sound like a bottom charter, but whatever.
Sounds good, you guys.
No one knows.
It's been the whole episode.
No one knows what that is.
You say it gets so weird. It's so good. Oh, man. All right, that's it for this episode. No one knows what that is. You say it gets so weird.
It's so good.
Oh, man.
All right, that's it for this episode.
Jordan, take us out.
Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show
where we eat food and rate the food.
Sometimes the scores go up.
Bye.
Coming up.
Open smoke.
Someone got dealt a nine.