2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - 2 Bears vs 2 Kelces | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 214

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

Tickets for Jon Stewart & Tom Segura are available now! This December 12th and 13th at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair, NJ. Get them now by going to  https://tomsegura.com/tourWelcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert throw down a challenge gauntlet for fellow podcasters and football players Jason and Travis Kelce! The Bears discuss the type of competition they'd issue to the Kelce brothers and draw lines in the sand between the different communities that would be in their corners. They talk Taylor Swift, the influence of Swifties and the BeyHive, relatable athletes, top 5 female music artists of all time, and even get a call from Pat McAfee!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

Hey New Jersey, Tom Segura here letting you know that I don't always dress like this. I'm shooting something. I won't wear this when I come to see you. I'm doing shows with John Stewart on December 12th and 13th in Montclair, New Jersey at the Wellmont Theater. The first shows at 7pm sold out. So we added shows each night at 9.30pm. You can get your tickets right now before they sell out and see one of the greatest most

influential comedic voices of our generation. And also John Stewart will be on the shows. See what I did? Get your tickets at www.tomstegura.com slash tour. How dare you do two bears better than us? We gotta show them our fucking strength, Tom. Okay, they need to respect us. I think she beat the shit out of her mom's. My mom would be like, I can't find my glasses. I'm gonna be dead immediately

That's totally fine Get a trash get, get a fucking trash get it here 100% Welcome to another episode of two bears one cave And we're going after the fucking Kelsey brothers You guys wanted smoke, you got the fucking smoke Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah, dawg. Just because we're a little older.

Barely. Barely, which one are you gonna be? Which one would you be in the two? Which one would I be? The Kelsey brothers. Oh, Jason. No, which one's Jason? No, no, oh yeah, you're Jason.

Oh yeah, I'm Travis. Yeah, yeah, I'm definitely Travis. I'm so much more Travis than you are. Jason just hit me up in the DMs. Uh-huh, what does that do? Huge fan, you carry that show. Just like I carry my show. Let's see if Travis hits up.

He's in Singapore. Singapore? Or with, I hope when this comes out, him and Taylor Swift are still together. If they got married, would she change her name to Taylor Kelsey? I mean, maybe like privately, you know, like for legal papers,

but I'm sure not publicly. No, fuck her career up a little bit. Well, I don't know if I would just be strange. Hahaha. Did you see them shitting on Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga. Everyone that went to college with her was like,

she was a cunt. Well, I can see. No, if you're a Kelsey brother fan, we're not done with those two mother fuckers. Okay, okay. We're coming after that. We're coming, you know what's almost like, it's almost like, imagine if they were watching a video

and I was in a chief jersey and you're in an Eagle jersey and we were saying we played football and we were athletes. They're coming after us, Tom. Who's coming? The Kelsey brothers. They are? They're Kelsey brothers. They're coming after us.

I didn't know they were coming after us. Yeah, dude. Where in Rogers DM me? This is a lie. What are they coming after us for? They want what we got, buddy. Yeah. We've got to show them our capabilities as broadcasters.

Okay. Okay. We need to show them. Look, you know what that's right there? Where? The Cincinnati photo. The other one underneath it. Well, I mean, we are both Jason.

We are both Jason. We are both Jason. We are that we. We are both, we are I bet, I bet we don't have much in common with Travis, like if we hung out, but I bet we could fucking set with Jason. I bet Travis could, I bet he looks up to us. Oh, that's a quite an assumption.

I bet he does. Well, you know, all pro athletes technically look up to us. In much way that we're older than them. No, well that were the age of their parents. How old's Jason Kelsey's mom? And Travis Hale's his mom. That's true. She is both of their mom.

And how fucking fun is her life? All the football practices she had to drive those kids to. All the fights she had to break up in between those she said anyone. She's my parents age. Oh wait, that's awesome. She's younger than my parents. But all the shit she had to put up with,

all the fucking uniforms, the jock straps, the cleats, the messes around the house. Is it just the two Cal State brothers who today have a third? It says the only two children she has are those two, but I don't know. And then box seats. And you know what's also cool?

Is she doesn't even, I best show them and realize how good Taylor Swift is until after she met her and then put a few of her bangers in. Taylor Swift, okay. Push pause on us attacking the Kelsey brothers. Okay. Taylor Swift is legit. Yeah, she's got something going.

She's definitely got something. She should keep it up. Dude, I mean, I'm being serious. I love to find the thing that no one sees, and then you know, like pick it apart, you can't find it in her. She seems like a really sweet girl. She really does actually.

Okay, let's, have you listened to her music? I've heard a couple of the hits, but I can't say that I know the catalog. Okay, I'll walk you through the catalog. Okay. She's a big fan of friends. There's a lot of her songs are references to friends Just a lot of her songs are references to friends. A lot of her songs are references to friends.

Dude, I grew up with two little girls. Taylor Swift was on repeat in our truck. Really? I could sing, I could sing, I bet I could sing a slam in the back door. I could sing a lot of her songs by heart. Man, my voice. Pull up Taylor Swift lyrics. I'm gonna sing the back door and I could sing a lot of her songs by hand. My boy. Pull up Taylor Swift lyrics. I'm gonna sing the song to you.

I bet I can go unlike Drake when I fucking ruin Drake. Do you believe Drake's still a thing? He's really a thing. They came after him. You know that? Who came after him? The culture. Recently?

Why? Because there were a lot of, so big tickets for- His tour was fucking massive. But by the way, Drake, I say I don't know anything about Drake, so I can't, I know I'm, I know I'm, I'm fan enough to know that if I run in Drake, I'll suck his dick. Like if I see Drake, I'm gonna be like, dude, you're fucking, you know, I don't even need to know anything about you and I'll suck your dick. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

Okay, if I know you're famous, I'll just be a fan. Hardcore? I'll just be like, I'll fanboy out. Do you do that when you meet? Everyone. So when you meet any celebrity? Any celebrity. Who'd you last meet?

Who's the last three celebrities you've met? Uh. Whew, my roll of neck's a thick. Pull up Taylor Swift lyrics. The last celebrity I met, well, I mean, the last one I hung out with was John Stamos. Now, John Stamos, you know, did two bears. Yeah.

I would say, I was a casual John Stamos, you know, did two bears. Yeah. Um, I would say I was a casual John Stamos fan. I mean, I think most people are like, you know, you know, you know, you know what's funny, right? Yeah. Dude, you had to think I started the John Stamos fan club when I met him. Really? First of all, he's gorgeous.

He's fucking gorgeous. His hair is real. He does not dye it. He doesn't dye it. He doesn't dye it. His fucking face is perfect. Everything about him. He had good looking it. He doesn't die it. His fucking face is perfect. Everything about him. He had good looking shoes.

Sometimes those guys wear dorky shoes. Cause they're really, I mean, love John Stamos. But really ultimately at heart, he's a little bit of a nerd. He's just a really good looking Greek nerd. Yeah. And but what, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't let me know what song it is.

You pull up a Taylor Swift song and I will sing it perfectly. Okay. But you'd think, I just have that thing about me that when I see a celebrity, I don't know, I'm still impressed by it. Do you wait, there's one thing if you're like at a function and event or a party

and they're like, here's some, so and so. But do you see celebrities on the street, like in LA, and walk up and go like, hey, like do you do that? No, you got to be introduced. No, I'm so sorry. I think I misunderstood the question. Yes. Oh yes you do.

If I see who have you accosted in recent memory? Like who have you gone up to? Well, I hung out with a bunch of the box. Okay. A bigger mayfield was the last one I accosted. But you would have been kind of introduced in a way, right? Where were they though? I was on the sidelines.

He did not know who I was. Okay. I thought he might have. He absolutely didn't. What'd you do? First thing I looked at his ass. His ass is awesome. He's got a trunk on it.

Ah! Baker Mayfield's ass. Fucking on it. Uh, uh. Uh. Uh. Baker Mayfield's ass. Yeah. Fucking does it. Really? I bet I could pick him out out of an ass lineup. Really? Dude, that's the thing about those fucking powerful athletes.

Is their asses are fucking solid. Yeah. I don't have a Baker Mayfield ass. You know who had the craziest ass. Pat McAfee. Pat McAfee has like, uh, a punner. I mean, come on. Yeah, yeah. Pat McAfee's that. Pat McAfee. Pat McAfee has like. Punner, I mean, come on. Yeah, yeah.

Pat McAfee's that, Pat McAfee's taking over ESPN. He wants our smoke too, he can get it. Yeah, yeah. Why don't we do a college game day? A two-bearers college game day. Go head to head, do a side stage to the end up, and we'll just talk louder. Yeah, but they, I'm sure it.

Yeah, we could definitely do that. I knew it was coming after Pat McAfee too. Yeah, they are the old guard. People were like, this guy's doing, he's the most fun thing we could definitely do that. I knew it's coming after Pat McAfee too. Yeah, they are the the old guard People were like this guy's doing he's the most fun thing that's happened to that You're grave motherfuckers. You're gone. It's McAfee time and my watch is set to pat I love that guy. Yeah, he's the best. I love him because you know He's got the thing that I don't have that like grounded in reality assessment of skills Mm-hmm

And so when you say things to him, like I could kick a 45 year old field goal. 45 year old? I could kick a 45 year old easier than a 45 year old hard field goal. He's like, you can't do it, you can't do it. I love that energy. How far of a field goal do you think you could kick?

Oh, I've tried. At University of Nebraska, I bathed in a 35-year-old, 35-year-old field goal, I could not get it done. You couldn't do it. How many times you try? A hundred? What's the closest, what's the,

what yardage could you do? Did you try it closer? I could do, at the field goal line, at the goal line. At the goal line, I'm almost all, but all that, all that, you watch them, and it doesn't look that hard. And then you, when you see it done, you're like, oh, this is fucking different.

Yeah. Matt, that's what I like about Pat McAfee. What I like about him, let's celebrate Pat McAfee before we trash the Kelsey brothers. Okay. We're coming after these motherfuckers. Oh shit. I would like to do, here's what I'd like to do.

Which we had meetings before the show. Go ahead. Why? Nothing. Keep going. I would love, I would love. I would. I would.

What were we doing? We were talking about. McAfee. McAfee, you were gonna sell him. He's running over about him. He's a fan of the game, right? Like he's a fan of football. He's a football fan. That's what makes him so impressive.

What puts him a step above, yeah, but keeps him relatable as they was a punter. Yeah. So he was in the locker room. He knew the jargon. He was the fun guy. Well, he was never the like, he was never the guy that like everyone rushed to at the end of the game. You know, no one's like, dude, your punts save the game. Yeah. So he was an outsider, like all comics. He was an outsider. Like we were in high school in college, I always felt like, ultimately, I always felt like you were on the outside looking in.

Yeah. Which is what makes a great comic. He was an outsider in the locker room. So he has his insights. And then he brings them into the fucking, he brings them into his show. So you get this insider's knowledge, but with a relief of relatability.

You know, like he knows how great these dudes are, a reverence. I won't slam the old guard. I don't even know who the old guard is who slamming him. But I will say, a lot of them never played the game, or they played the game at a stars level. When you play at a stars level, everything's unrelatable. You start calling people on shit. That's really fucking hard to do. Macrofee will only call you on shit that is like, that is like, yeah, that should, you should be called on, you know? Like Shannon Sharp, Hall of Famer.

Yeah. Hall of Famer, great broadcaster, Hall of Famer, Boomer McFarlane, Hall of Famer. These are all like Hall of Famers. He, that's what's approachable about Patties. He's one of us. He got arrested for a fucking jumping into a into a river Very drunk. Yeah fucking love him. Yeah. No, he's the best. He he brings enthusiasm and energy and

fun into what the broadcasting of College football has like they live in this kind of stale You know, it's it's very repetitive. It's very redundant It's the kind of thing where you kind of just know what's know, it's very repetitive, it's very redundant, it's the kind of thing where you kind of just know what's gonna be said. And like the profile pieces are like, you know, it's the same one they've been doing for a decade and then you bring a guy on to the show,

like into the team that adds this energy and this fun element that makes them like, really exciting to watch again. So yeah, and of course, he's also an insider too, because he's an insider. He's been on the team. He's played the game. Like, he knows. And by the way, I would argue retired at the top of his, when he was at his height.

What he's done is, I mean, I remember when he retired and he did like a joke, like promo. Here's what I'm gonna do. And I was like, this is very funny, but this guy is out of his fucking mind that he thinks like this is gonna work out. I thought he was crazy. And like secret time, I thought I was talking to a lunatic as well.

Yeah. When I first went to his compound, I thought how quickly is he gonna run through this punter salary? Yeah. It was a big compound. And he was like, paired up with bar stool. I was like, this isn't going to last long.

It's amazing. What he's done. The whole team, they've put together, it's incredible what they've done. Can I tell you what made him great about then? And I don't even know if then still exists for him. I think right now he's so sports, but what was great about Pat Show when he was just like a podcaster is that he still was a fan. That's what makes him beautiful is that he's a fan of shit.

He gets into shit, he digs it. I'd go on and he'd be like, on the podcast, tell me about Rogan, you know, like that. This is before people were doing that. He was in the, tell me about Tom. Okay, well, I wanna know about this. Like he was just a fucking fan and that's why he translates so well.

Here's a deal. A lot of those guys aren't fucking fans. It's a paycheck to them. Right. Can I tell you? Bring back Warren's app. Such a great podcast. Fucking.

The best. Yeah. The fucking best. He does this thing, and he does a very just thrown together version of it, which I love. As a football fan, I love. Which is he'll put on game tape, right? And he has like the rewind, play, pause thing that when you're reviewing tape you have,

it's like it goes like two steps back and he'll break down what, what, how somebody fucked up. You know, he calls him out. He's like, I'm just gonna, I'm just straight up calling like 61. I don't know what the fuck this is. Like, and he'll, but I mean like you,

if you're just watching the game, you know, you might not, you might be just following the ball and be like, oh, whatever. And then he shows you like how this guy's technique was trash. This guy gave zero effort. He's like, what is this shit? And he's just like, I don't even know who this is,

but I'm just calling it out. And the way that he breaks it down, you're seeing a hollow famer, like tell you what should have happened. You're like, oh, like all of a sudden you go, oh, I'm learning something about the game that I would have missed. You know, that is fun as shit.

That's fun as shit. Can I tell you, I would love to see Randy Moss still playing? Still? I hear this. Man, I love to see Randy Moss still playing still I he is man I I got into a random or what many Moss thread right just randomly I We just both made sizzle reels right for a thing. Yeah, my sizzle reels my sizzle reel of my comedy and doing it 25 years Doesn't hold a candle to his highlight reel. To Randy Moss's highlight reel? Yeah, it's pretty great.

It's dude. He's saying, do you ever think back? Sometimes I've always wanted to ask him this thing just because I'm a fan. I'll ask him. How crazy it would have been if he did pop for weed at FSU. He's on the team photo.

He's in the team photo, because he was there for that. And then they had to boot him, cause of the fucking stupid weed rules. So he went to Marshall and he made, he made like you're watching this and you're like, what is this a fucking high school game? Who would he play with? Who is his quarterback, Stephen McNair or someone?

At where? At Marshall, he had a fucking high school game? What are you playing with? Who is his quarterback, Stephen Nair or someone? At where? At Marshall. He had a quarterback who was a gangster too. His quarterback draft didn't play too. You're, I don't know, you're thinking more clearly than me, I can't remember who it was. Who was the quarterback at Marshall? Chad Pentington, you're right, you did play.

He played with Chad Pentington and they fucking both went. He is a fucking real gangster. Yeah. Yeah. Chad was with the Jets. Remember for was it forever? No, for the most of the time. I heard an interview where where who's white chocolate? What Jason Williams went to high school with Brandy Moss. Yeah. That can you they played basketball together? Can you find that commercial the Nike commercial of fucking this is one of the coolest commercials that's ever been made? Yeah.

Randy Moss commercial. Yeah, with Jason Williams. Jason Williams type Jason Williams. Do Jason Williams? Did you see the interview? He said, God damn it. Look at that. Yeah.

That's them as kids, dude. Yeah. Can you imagine how kids, dude. Yeah. Can you imagine how fun these high school games would have been to watch? Look, look at them. Team mates, he's just like, there you go. Boom. Yeah. Yeah, they're West Virginia boys.

Yeah. They both have that crazy drawl when they, when they speak, you know, you can, you can totally Jason Williams based on an interview with him where he said they was going to play a pickup game with his agent and a bunch of guys. Yeah. Jason Williams, 50 years old. Yeah. And he said, well, spot you 70. And at one point, he was asking them so bad. He starting shooting baskets for the other team. I've seen this. It's the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard anybody say. He and his team were up by 86. He said 86 in a basketball game. And so then they start scoring against themselves. And at a certain point, the guys who are playing against start to get pissed obviously,

because he's draining, he's like, I'm helping you out. This is what brings me back to the Kelsey brothers. It's fucking wild. We can't do what you do. How dare you do two Bayer better than us? How dare you do a better podcast than us? We gotta show them our fucking strength, Tom.

Okay. They need to respect us. They do. What do we do? How do we take these guys just back to our eye level? Just so they realize one of us, one of us get on a plane to Philly, one of us goes to Kansas City and we just fucking have a real one on one, two on two. How much bigger is Jason than me? He's cake, he might have a, is he what? Six one. Jason Kelsey. You see what six one? I'll be using Jason Kelsey.

Oh, six three, okay. Full head of hair. Six, three, got the big beard. How about wait, you can see if he's got any weight on you. 282. I ain't no way, Jason Kelsey's 282. Jason Kelsey, 282. Now he's more than that.

That's a friendly way. All right, let's think of a way way a friendly challenge. We'll do it at the Super Bowl. At the Super Bowl. We will go there. We'll see you guys in Vegas. We want both Kelsey brothers head to head pickle ball. No, too easy. It's got to be a broadcast challenge. We got to bring we got to flex our strength. We got to show him our Randy Moss, Jason Williams highlight reel. We need to go, all right, here we go. I got a better idea. What's that? Oh no, that's not gonna work.

Okay. I think Vegas is a good idea. Vegas, Vegas, Kelsey brothers. Let's be scared, which I totally got. Yeah, unless you guys are totally scared. It can't be football related obviously. No, or strength related or intractable related or speed related.

Yeah, it can't be anything. Nothing like that. Nothing you'd ever measure a man by. No, exactly. It'd be football related obviously. Or strength related or attractive related or speed related. It can't be anything. Nothing like that. Nothing you'd ever measure a man by. No, exactly. It's something you'd measure. Like in a weird apocalypse, what's the skill set you'd need? It's gotta be broadcast related.

Here's the deal. Okay. We, it's gotta be two bears versus, what is there's called? Two studs, two studs? Two studs one switch. I think it's called KKKK or something like that. Is it the KKK podcast? Yeah, the trip the triple K podcast new heights New heights with Jason and Travis Kelsey, okay, new heights with Jason and Travis maybe we have our moms fight their mom Good, that's good. That's fair, it's a fair fight. And she made two professional athletes.

So it was both of our moms versus your mom. She's got stronger genes for sure. That was three women in their 70s fight. That's a great idea. I think she beat the shit out of her mom's. Her mom would be like, I can't find my glasses. Her mom would beat that immediately. There's my mom.

Okay, okay, back to the drawing board. What do you have to? It's gotta be a skill set. It's gotta be a podcasting skill set. Here's what we're gonna do, okay? We're gonna talk about, this is it, Kelsey Brothers, I hope you're interested. We're gonna go podcast the podcast, okay?

It's gonna be a set up wide shot, then you set up a wide shot. And we're gonna talk about hot button podcasting topics, the hottest topics out there. Jeffrey Epstein. And then Jason will be like, oh you mean my dating life? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, we got some insight for you. Oh my god.

Yeah. Okay, all right. I was gonna say we talked about back. No, he got vaccinated, right? I don't know. Is he the guy that did the commercial? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, it can't be doing vaccinations.

Fuck. How do we compare to these guys? We spend money quicker than they do. Yeah, we're not thinking about our future. No. We can't do famous friends. They're gonna destroy us. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. What about a blind taste test? We each have sex with the same prostitute Jesus. In the dark, in the dark, and she's got to say who's the best. We run trains on them. I mean, you are a train on one body. Come on Tom, think.

I'm thinking. I mean, this is our strength. This is our strength. I guarantee you if they had this on their podcast, they already have a fucking answer. It doesn't help that they're goddamn superstars. Well, you gotta send to this. Help me get out of it.

Okay. How can we take these guys down? How can we take them down? These motherfuckers. Can they read? They don't need to. They don't need to, but. They need to read to be an offensive lineman.

That's what I'm saying. I don't even know if they can. I bet we can talk about it. They went to need to. They don't need to, but need to read to be an offensive lineman. That's what I'm saying. I don't even know if they can. I bet we can talk about it. They went to fucking Cincinnati. Oh, importance. Yeah, I was born there. Shit.

Fuck, we keep. It's almost like they watch two bears and they're like, I think we easily do this. Yeah. We both are from Cincinnati. Yeah. Oh, something far related. What if we broadcast?

Oh, fuck. What if we broadcast on woke topics? Like we take a woke topic and we see who get busted first, like pronouns. We get a bunch of like LBGT, Q plus trans people, and we'll all interview them and see who you know what they would do They're gonna fucking they would wear fucking rainbow jerseys and be like everyone's welcome and at our games And then those people will be like, oh, thanks, and they like how about you guys would be like fucking Zem Zermai nuts, and then they'd be like we like the Kelsey's

All right, what about black guys? What are we going to do? Who black people like more? The Kelsey brothers or me and you? It's me and you. No. Oh, wait, you're right. They work with black guys. Yeah, more than we got. Yeah, fuck.

Hey, Annie, who would you? Who would you pick? You guys are the Kelsey brothers? Yeah. Yeah. I pick you guys. Look, if they offered you a job right now and said, hey, do you think we make more money than they do?

I don't know, man. How much type in net worth, Kelsey? Well, they both have public contracts. Oh, we could raise more money in fraternity than they could. That's a fun one. Fuck, yes, I told you was gonna show up. Yeah, I did, it showed up. That's what it is.

Okay, he signed a four year, $57 million. Okay, dad, dad, dad Who can raise more money for charity? I guarantee you we can smoke them. I guarantee you we can smoke them. But, and here's the key. They pick our charity, we pick their charity. Now, but don't forget. What? Oh, okay.

Okay. Don't forget. Get Taylor Swift out of this. Well, that's the thing though. Okay. When Travis goes, Hey, my charity, you can get that swifty bump. It's hard to compete with.

Okay. Lady Gaga. What about her? Secretime? Yeah. There's a lot of female artists out there that are a little jealous of Taylor Swift's store. So we, we, beyond say, we hit them up.

Lady Gaga, yes. How are we gonna hit them up? Dude, once the war starts and Taylor comes out on their side, yeah. We get Beyonce. We just go Beyonce. Yo. Yo.

What? Okay, it would be great if we just tag her in a story. Yo, okay, we start hang, we get, dude. The B hive is way stronger than Swifties. Those are fighting fucking words and I like it. I like it too. I like it. We're gonna skip the B hive on our team.

They can get the Swifties and we're gonna raise way more money than that. We're so much more creative and in ideas to get money. They just use their bodies to get money. Yeah, they're gonna be like, ooh, good. Snap the ball. Snap the ball for good. And then, you know, catch, catch, run. More money for touchdowns.

And then that's like all they got. Hi. Hey, do, give me, what is, we'll learn impressions of them. Yeah. Dude, this is gonna be better than Tipper Canoe and Tyler too. We're talking old school mud slinging. Yeah. Old school mud slinging. Yeah, dude. This is gonna be better than Tipper canoe and Tyler too. We're talking old school mud slinging Yeah, old school mud slinging you got it and the charity Reveals itself at the Super Bowl who raised more we do it all January all January

Okay, and we raise money our podcast first their podcast. We get it on go fund me we And we fucking slaughter those dudes because here's the end of the day, Tom. Yeah. We'll throw all of a million. Yeah, of course. But also, do you think they're willing to lose a fruitless war? Who knows? But there's a thing they're fucking competitive. Those are competitive guys. So if you make it a real competition, you're going to get the best of them. I bet we get to pack McAfee on our side. Oh, yeah. We do think of, see, you got to remember, they, they, we can fan out thick like are the people we can bring in. Also, oh, yeah, you know, we know what we should do. What? We hit up the teams,

players on the teams that hate them the most right so what's his name Jason plays for the Eagles? We hit up some cowboys Hit up that right we go Jones fuck Jerry Jones Jerry Jones Jerry Jones is good for a cool mill easy bro cool Maybe you want to shut on the Eagles for once and then we'll make them raise money for something they don't like Yeah, like we'll make them raise money look at this dude We got we got decay met cafe will throw in fucking loot right? Yeah, they may feel he already knows how much I love his ass Mike Evans

We got we got all so many we got it Micah we got to hit up Micah parses I just shut my pants did you shit I just shit my pants Did you shit I just shit my pants? No I just shit my pants really I just shit my pants. I just shit my pants I hit me shit my pants since I lost weight. That's old school. Is it wet?

I was gonna wear these jeans tonight. And not anymore. Hold on, let me check. Oh no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, I shit my pants. No, I didn't shit my pants. Oh my god, dude, that was... I thought that was wet.

Let me see a piece of tissue real quick. Oh, fuck. How do you think you're gonna get this on the Kelsey Brothers High Noon podcast? Hey. Oh God, wait, where's the trash can? We don't need one. I think we're clean.

Oh. Hold on. I think we're clean. Yeah, we're clean. Oh, I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna. Wait. We're doing it.

We're doing it. Totally clean. We're totally clean. We're totally clean. Don't throw up because I gonna throw up. Wait. We're going. We're going. We're totally clean. We're totally clean. We're totally clean. Don't throw up, cause I'll throw up. I fucking almost put another. Oh. No, this is totally fine. It's totally fine.

Get in trash, get in. Get in fucking trash, get in here. I didn't throw, I didn't shoot my pants. Oh my God, I'm gonna be fucking sick. I didn't shoot my pants. No. I didn't shoot my pants. I didn't shoot my pants. We're I didn't shit my pants. I didn't shit my pants, we're good.

I'm seeing stars. No. That was so fucking terrifying. That was close. That was close. That was where your asshole goes like this. You go, and then he's just held it back by it. So back to the Kelsey brothers.

Yeah. Don't you love how close we are? Yeah. Okay. Fuck that was rough. We get them a charity for what's a charity that, what's a charity that the Swifties will not want to donate to? I like how you're thinking. Right?

That way we don't have to incorporate the B hive. Oh, there you go. We do incorporate the B hive. We're still going after the B hive. We want them on our team. The B hive needs to be activated. Yeah, we got to get them activated. Do not watch any of our videos from here backwards B Hivers. If you are a B Hiver, right now you're our fans too. That's awesome. We're so happy to have you guys. Yeah, just say I'm going to.

Please, please, please. It's like you're dating a, take it like this. You ever date someone with a weird sexual history? And you go, I don't even want to know. All I want to know is you're with me right now. Yeah, that's how we are. That's what's important from today forward. And by the way, we're not,

now we'll go after this with these. My daughters, that's my daughter's friends. You can go after them, take their smoke. We'll take their smoke. I can take their smoke if you're with it. Sure. It's like when you went after pro wrestlers and then I had to fucking DM a couple pro wrestlers

and be like, yeah, he's my buddy. Did you really? Yeah. I grew up in Florida. What did they say to you? Uh, they did not take it kindly. Yeah, I got, I got some weird messages back then. Who's the worst group of people to go after?

Like to attack you. Ready, ready? Let's go head to head armies. Q and on or the B hive. Who would you not want to fuck with? Yeah. Well, it's different type of assault that you would feel. The B-hive would come at you and you'd just be bombarded by the volume.

The Q&A would ruin your life. Yeah, yeah, in a different way. They'd take your money. Yeah, you're fucking, it docks you show up place. You know what I mean? I think the B-hive thing would just be overwhelming like online. You'd be like, all of the tanks think the B-hive thing would just be overwhelming like online, you'd be like, all kanks or B-hive.

Who would you not wanna fuck with? Yeah. I mean the, I mean the lesion would be funnier. I think the B-hive went after trick daddy. Trick daddy. Why? Cause he, and by the way, trick daddy. Trick daddy. Yeah. Why? Cause he, uh, and by the way, I'm friends with trick. I love T. Double D. I love him.

Yeah. And I actually do not want the smoke he got with them. Cause even trick daddy, who doesn't give a fuck? Truly. And he really, and I don't think he really totally gave a fuck, but the fact that it registered on his radar at all meant for me, it must have been fucking smokey. What did it, what happened there? He said, uh, and I'm, I'm paraphrasing that, uh,

this how terrified I am of the B hive, that, um, Beyonce could sing, but she can't sang. I'd say, could sing, but she can't sang. That's what he said. Yeah, like she can't sang. And I guess, I didn't really understand the entire thing. So like, we talked about it on our podcast, when I did a podcast with him. And he was like, because you could tell, he was like dealing with the remnants

of the B-Hybo aftermath. It was old, it's an old thing. It was old, and he was still brought it up to me twice. And I was like, fuck, man, like I never realized, like I like Beyonce, I think she's pretty fucking, here we go, she can't sing, but she can't sing. Okay, the audio clip which is circulating online begins with the Florida rapper discussing different artists

before seemingly begins to explain his feelings about Queen Bay in the audio chat room, online begins with the Florida rapper discussing different artists before seemingly begins to explain his feelings about Queen Bay in the audio chat room. Trick Daddy criticizes the H-town native for a critically acclaimed album lemonade and gets his most controversial tape. Beyonce don't write music and barely can sing her mother fucking self. Beyonce How do you not appreciate Trick Daddy? Can't sing. He goes on to say Jay-zy shouldn't be in the conversation of the greatest rapper alive

Okay, so that he was his initial comments he doubled down in his statements. That's what I like that. That's why he's T double T double D Beyonce So no more perform ever seen besides Michael Jackson and Chris Brown. Can she sing yeah, she can't sang Shane in my top, okay, so yeah, he's stuck to it. He's stuck to it And by the way, he doesn't like, he's not an online motherfucker. Yeah. He went after when I, by the way, I, I, the things that are in my fucking YouTube algorithm are shocking for anyone else. But like, he went after when Ebro went after Kodak Black, he went after Ebro in a real way. Oh, really? Yeah, Ebro is an old interview,

but it was when Kurt Akk was going through some court stuff, you know, like. Which time? The most recent one I'm gonna be gathering. All right. He looked younger in this video. Okay. And Ebro brought it up and then,

and Rosethal was in there. Rosethal was actually pretty funny. It was actually, it's actually, I wish that it was a pretty fucking funny clip. But unless your codec black, who did not find it, did not find it funny. And he, but he said something that I say all the time, say less. He goes, Ebro was like, well, then this interview's over.

I cut out bus and say less and walked out. But like a lot of people came after Joe Budden came after. Uh, I think Joe Budden did all. I'm like, okay, there's another guy. I would never want to smoke from his fans. Joe Budden fans. Joe Budden does not give, uh, fuck, do you think he knows who we are? No idea.

I doubt it. Yeah, probably not. He's great on podcasts. Yeah, there's some people that are. But he doesn't give a fuck about, he'll say what he thinks. I curb my opinion based on my career. Like, I, there's things that I sincerely regret saying out loud. Really? Oh, yeah, that Reese Witherspoon's boyfriend should have hit her. Like we're not hitter, but you know what I mean? Remember that, checker? Whatever, I forget what I said. I forget what I said, and Reese I'm already sorry,

I'm already, like I forget. There's so many things I've said. Like I think there's a time we went after next, I don't totally remember. Really? I think we did. I think we, it was like the same way we're doing it with Kelsey, the brothers, but it was like fun. To them maybe, I don't know, I don't know. I don't totally remember. Really? I think we did. I think we was like the same way we're doing it with Kelsey,

the brothers, but it was like fun. To them maybe, I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking remember by like, Dax Jepard. I don't think that registered to him. They did? No. I don't think you registered to him.

He follows me on Instagram. I met him a few weeks ago. Tall. Like normal height. Good skin. Sure. Jacked hair. Good hair. Jack. Jack. Yeah. Really. Yeah. He's a pretty bad motherfucker. He was fucking heat from the trans community. What are you? Okay, ready? Yeah. Be high for trans community. Oh, Jesus. That's a good one. That's a fucking head to head battle. Who do you want to speak from? Why aren't these the next versus battles?

Where like a trans person goes head to head with like the beehive, and you watch them online and you see who wins. I think the beehive would really come after you in a even more aggressive way actually. I would give it to them. Okay, be high above your trans. I think so.

Trans over swiftees. Easy. Trans? Yeah. Do we say trans? Yeah, trans probably. Okay, trans over wrestlers. Oh.

Yeah, I mean, as somebody who went, who got it from the wrestlers, you know, my next one's gonna be. I'd sign up for that over the trance. Can I get a bleep on this next one? Sure. Trance versus... F***. F***.

F***. F***. F***. Who would I rather get it from? You know. They can't really figure out what's going on. So, I would take it. I would take that.

I would take that. Okay. You know what they did? Yeah. What, what? I'm not going to have to believe this, too. No, no, just believe the words we keep the thing in. They, uh, they came to one of my shows.

Outside. They gathered outside. And they gave everybody in line a card. They're gonna say hot dog. They gave everybody a card. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, for real. Yeah, like a hallmark card. And they said this was this card was

Was written by one of us So they wrote them themselves well, I'm sure that's some help but then This is horrible this is horrible guys you got to know just just bleep everything we're saying in here and then if you want our patreon Why don't we have a patreon? I don't know what we should do is a patreon and we'll release the first five minutes of this podcast where we talk shit about other Comics, oh that would do and we keep all this shit in okay, so What about what would you rather do ready? This is a good one. Okay. Beehive versus vaccinators. Ooh.

Cause beehive. We're saying beehive is probably top right now, right? Yeah. I think it was like as a as a group, you don't want to really, you know, they've ruined, they've ruined your shit. They do. Okay. I think so. Who's who are you going to take vaccinators? When we're talking about all our friends that are wearing masks and posting videos. That's an aggressive bunch for online. That would be, that would be one of the worst you could probably. Yeah.

They've taken down, they've taken down. They've ruined people's lives. They've ruined people's lives. Yeah, yeah. They've ruined people's lives. Who are you taking? That's the thing I think in that situation, they might be the most aggressive of all. Okay. I think that's a good one. What, who you're taking. That's the thing, I think in that situation, they might be the most aggressive of all.

Okay. I think that's a good one. What do you think? So you gotta imagine, so they go head to head, right? So the thing with the Vaxers is that they will no longer like something if you don't believe what they believe. So, if there is a Vaxers fan who's a Beyonce fan,

but finds out that Beyonce's fans are anti-vaxx, then I don't know how they do this, but they'll start hating Beyonce for real villager, whereas the B-high fans will get vaccinated and not get vaccinated. So then they'll be split amongst each other, and they'll start inner fighting. That's they'll be split amongst each other. Right. And they'll start inner fighting.

That's a tough one. It is a tough one. God, man. These matchups should be done. Hmm. It would be, you know, that's the crazy thing. Is it about YMH fans? We didn't throw them in there.

YMH fans versus who? Ooh, how about YMH versus Lee's and Jisks? Hmm. What does I think? I think respectfully, I think they actually are two different circles. Maybe. I mean, I think there's some concentric circles, but here's the thing, if you're a Legion of Skanks fan, you're a rider-die.

Well, because you guys are free speech, but like they're like rider-die, free speech, that no one's standing up for. Right. Like, they're the ones, they're like, rider, die, free speech that no one's standing up for. Right. Like they're the one, they're like, yeah, the thing that you now hate to death, that's what we support. Right. Like, because they're like, they're die hard comedy fans, die hard, freedom of speech fans, die hard comedy fans, like, and comedy in a different sense.

Like, some of the things that Legion of Skanks has done as Jay will tell me them, I will start laughing as in that can't be done. And he's like, no, we did it. And we've gotten a lot of trouble. And I think one of the ones was crazy and they had to apologize. Really? I think they did.

I think even they were like, okay, that was too far. So they, they go for it. That's the thing. Dude, Lewis goes for it. So who do you think, why, I think why I made sure, okay, that was too far. So they go for it, that's the thing. Dude, Lewis goes for it. So who do you think, why, I think why I made should could take Legion of Skanks? I don't know. I mean, we're probably,

but here's the thing about why I made fans. Here's the thing they like to get the why I made fans. They like, here's the joke, have fun with it. Yeah, like, this is the joke, like it's not like, take this down. You know, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Legion of Skank's fans are stand on the hill and we die on this hill.

Yeah. YMH fans are like sniper at the hill. Yeah. And then if, like, punch in the dark fans, like, they love when someone doesn't get the joke. Yeah, yeah. And then they just get the joke. That's what they love. That's true.

Legion of Skank fans are like, Oh no, shirts off. We're fucking going after it. Yeah. And if you don't get to. It'd be really funny to have why Mage fans do like not like, I don't mean go after, but like do their thing to like a like Taylor Swift

or Beyonce. Where like you have, Oh, stop. What are you talking, they all have their fan bases. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? But we started that war. We did. YMH fans is a concentric circle with the B-Hive.

Okay, who is off left from the Swifties and the Chiefs and the Eagles. Oh, we're going against the Eagles fans. That's a rough fan base. That's a rough fan base. Eagle fan base is as scary as the Vaxers. Yeah, I agree. Eagles fan base is possibly the Philly fans.

Is there a scarier set of fans in the country? You let alone in the world. In the world, yes. Because nothing compares to man united. To like, I would say the Hooligans and also South American, like South American, European soccer fans make our fucking fans look like we're just fucking at a kid's game.

It's not the same. They're way, way, way crazier. Really? Yes, dude. They're way crazier. Like the Spanish soccer fans, they make, it makes it look like a joke. It really Spanish soccer fans, they make it, it makes it look like a joke.

It really does. It's more, it's like religion. It's so devout. It's another level. That is okay. It's like you have to separate US fan bases for the rest of the world. So if you could team up two fan bases.

I'm getting back for this charity thing because I think this is important. I think so too. We need to get our concentric circles. The B-hive, YMH, we, someone goes on Legion of Skanks, we get their fans involved. All for this charity thing. And we're all going after the Kelsey's.

By the way, this is all in good fun. Oh, what are the Kelsey fans called? Just fucking people that like good shit. No. Pfft. Kel. No Kell Kelsey fans are Kelsey fans are Eagles fans their sports fans their sports fans sports fans are fucking lunatics do Yeah sports fans are pretty fucking fanatical. That's why we need Pat McAfee on our team

Yeah, we got to get Pat get See, he's got the brotherhood. He's former player. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Right now. Call him. See if he'll jump on our squad. It'd be really nice to have that support.

Yeah. If we got the McAfee support, it's a big deal. Pat McAfee on a FaceTime. Please be taking this shit. So aggressive. Goddamn it, he's not gonna answer. Bro. What? What is it? Please be taking this shit so aggressive Bro, but I got a secret weapon. What is it bar stool fans? Okay bar stool We got bar bar stool fucking pat Mac if he's already on their team. I bet I've been getting a call from Jason and Kelsey if everybody makes their

Makes their big calls Let's polarize the fucking world. Let's make Republicans and Democrats look like fucking girls, gals and boy scouts and let's polarize fan bases. Polarize all for a good cause. All for a good cause. By the way, I'm ready for the smoke. Okay. I'm ready for the smoke. It's gonna come our way. We're gonna get hammered. All the month of January it's gonna be fucking tough. It's gonna be thick. We gotta do. Go to a different country.

No, we gotta get on the basketball podcast to talk shit. Oh, you know what I mean? Shit. Cause he's gonna have the football shit locked down. The basketball, you're right. You know what we're going to, what's that? What's that? All the smoke.

Yeah. There's that, there's the barstere one with God damn it. What's the name that what's that what's that? It all a smoke yeah, there's that there's a the bar still one with God damn it. What's the name of what's the name? This fucking great basketball podcasts are great For a murder podcast. Yeah, we will do the rounds to raise money. Hello, JRE. Oh, we won Fuck are we talking about? That can't believe we were playing fucking high-go-seek with a blind guy. I know what we talking about? That's cool. Let's go on it. Can't believe we were playing fucking hide and go seek with a blind guy. I know.

What are we talking about here? Dude. And we're getting fucking down. There's nothing about football. Nothing. Not interested either. Zero. And all we gotta do is show him Travis Kelsey getting the jab.

Hey, Joe, what team do you want to be on? The guy who reads the information or the guy who just trusts big far Yeah, we won there you go. Oh, I don't think we need to do it anymore. It's over. Oh, it's over It's fun playing with you guys We beat you Finally, that's right. We beat you. Finally. That's right. We beat you because we're friends with Joe Rogan. So the story of our guragers.

We didn't have to try out for a team. We got picked. Our dad owns League. We didn't do anything nervous. It's like those F1 drivers are like their dad just buy the race team. It's hilarious. F1 drivers are like their dad just buy the rice team. It's hilarious What what what you were saying That was a fun game. It was fun. We're still gonna do this dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, adjacent's coming to my show in

Padmack if you baby. Okay show in uh pat mac if you baby okay the fucking goat let me tell you something Pat I'm here with big Tommy buns what's up man how you doing listen we know you're we're slumming it doing a podcast because you are big fuck you only SPN these days we know we know now I'm trying to get like you boys I'm trying to get like you boys I don't have a fucking feature film about my life in Russia oh number one on Netflix for three weeks hey Pat um I was one of the watchers oh I'm trying to get like you boys. I don't have a fucking feature film about my life in Russia. Oh Number one on Netflix for three weeks. Hey Pat. Um, I was one of the watchers. Oh, thank you. That was three. So Pat. Hey First of all, you're gonna love this episode. You get your flowers big time in it. Yeah, we we really praised you man. Yeah

We want to know something. I want to know something though. I love you guys. Don't do that. We need something though Pat Pat we want to know you're gonna have to pick a team. We're going head to head with the fucking Kelsey brothers and we need you to pick a side. Yeah. Are you gonna be like, oh, I'm an NFL alum. Are you gonna be a fucking man? Tom, I mean, the way you phrased that was certainly a little aggressive, it felt like, what is this about?

What is this, what do we, why don't you flip it around and tell them? Oh yeah, well well here's a deal These guys watch a couple episodes of two bears think they can do it better right? They've got all the fucking money They've got all the hot chicks and and Tom and I are like you're coming after our fucking throne You want the smoke you got the smoke? I already do like a 35 Calorie on an assault bike. I don't know what they can do

So we're going head to head we're gonna go see which podcast can raise the most money for charity. They've got the Swifties, we're getting the beehive behind us. And if we get a guy like Pat McAfee, who owns, owns the dialogue of professional sports fans, we fucking own these two baggers. You gonna be on the two bear squad? All right, I'm on your team.

That's all we wanted to hear. Guess what? Rogan's on our team too. We haven't asked him, but we already know he is because all fucking Travis got the job. So we're in baby. Yeah, hell yeah. Also, uh, yeah. I don't know what you guys are doing. You're gonna win though. Fuck yeah. By the way, we have to be high high but we don't have any connection to Beyoncé So just making that clear too. I was very impressed by you guys getting Beyoncé's crew. Yeah, yeah, dude We got Q and on we got last bleeds in the skanks. We got the trans community. We got everyone buddy Thanks Pat. I love you Pat.

Love you, buddy. You too, bro. We got Maccabee. We got Maccabee. Gentlemen. We can play the game, but we already know the score. So. And we got Jerry Jones.

And we got Jerry Jones. Oh, yeah. We got fucking oil money, gentlemen. Yeah. Who? Who's there going to be? What's the name of that movie? Where's the blood? Where's the blood?

Where's the blood? Where's the blood? Where's the blood? Will there be blood? Will there be blood? Will there be blood? Is there blood? There's blood.

There is so much blood. There's so blood. So much blood. We're fucking covered in blood. We look like a chiefs jersey. Yep. You're going down. K K K.

The clansmen. That's what their fan base is called. They're clansmen that's what their fanbases go their clansmen Guys They're coming no don't write that alright. I think that's already that's already over Maybe stop being funny about it Oh man all Taylor's what best to do is go go out on stage just go fuck Tom fuck Bert. Yeah, that's not really her style Fuck Tom fuck Bert. Yeah, that's not really her style

Well, I'm just a girl in a pickup truck listen to two bears and one cave Don't like those two small white boys think they miss behave Think I'm singing Miley Cyrus song right now Oh get Miley Cyrus juice for Joe really? It's bad. We should probably ask Joe for your And uh, Molly Cyrus song right now. Okay. Good to get. I mean, I'll get Molly Cyrus. Juice for Joe. Really? Oh, it's bad. We should play as Joe if we could just go through his roll of

X. Yeah. We get Elon. Joe's roll of X is that he should go to war with someone. That'd be cool. Who do you think? Who do you think can beat JRE Vaxers? Nope.

Now, trans, nope. Beehive, Swifties are the only thing. you think could be JRE Vaxers? Nope. Now, trans, nope. B-hive, Swifties. Are the only thing, this is a crazy conversation. I have about a friend of ours. Yeah, but he is Joe Rogan bigger than Taylor Swift. Well, I mean, it's crazy.

So it's not the same kind of comparison though. We can find out. Now Taylor is a massive dude. Yeah. How do you think? What? Taylor's the biggest pop star in the world. She broke Ticketmaster.

She broke Ticketmaster. Like she has multiple nights in stadiums. Like stadiums sell out. Like in two seconds. How do you date a chick like that? Right, I mean, like respectfully. And I mean, that's respectfully to our wives. They're talented. Mm-hmm.

But they're not like, touch a microphone talented. Taylor Swift Just kind of has an idea and it's a fucking platinum album Yeah, you put Taylor Swift in a room and she could make the gross national Product and put on a money of a country if you put her in a room think of that talent if you put her in a room, think of that talent. If you put her in a room with a guitar or piano or just a symbol, she could come up with enough money

to support an economy of a fucking small city. Easy. Yeah, true. How do you date that? How do you date that? When she says, let's get pizza, you go, you've been right every time. You've ever, anything's coming out of your mouth.

Everyone agrees, So, yeah. How do you date that? We date like mediocre chicks. When we marry mediocre, Jesus Christ, Rogan has 18 million on Instagram, Taylor Swift has 276,000,000 fans. That's a lot. And those aren't like, those aren't like just,

those are like rider dies. Yeah, they're diehands. What's Beyonce got? I wonder why the, I bet, I bet, I bet Swifties and B-Hive is concentric circles. It's just people into good music. I'm trying to polarize two teams for ourselves.

We got Beyonce, 318 million. I'll take the B. How about, I didn't think about it. How about Leonor Messi? Oh, fuck. 492 million. Oh, we need a soccer player. Che, boludo. Hey, I mean, how are you?

Messy's the white guy that speaks Spanish. Well, he's Argentine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a whole fucking economy. When we get him in our pocket, you know what a catchphrase is going to be? What's it going to be?

It's about to get messy. Ooh. I bet he'd probably understand the Kelsey Brothers quicker. Being a high elite athlete. I bet he probably looks at us and goes, one guy speaks Spanish. Yeah. Cool. What about that other guy?

And then he'll be like, oh yes, Hitler's teacup. My family came from there. By the way, that's a joke. I told them messy pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's Argentina, that's where they went, right? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Good place is the hide there. It's crazy. I watched the documentary on it. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. I think this one's in the books.

And all the Kelsey brothers have to do now is accept the challenge, accept it. Accept the challenge, head to head, head to head. Yeah. See who can raise the most money for charity. We pick each other's charity. That's where the brain comes in. So we're going to pick a charity. You're not going to totally totally wanna raise money for.

However, it is a charity and they need it. They need it. And then you can pick our charity. And here's the other thing, we are burnt into the ground, mother fuckers. You guys are gonna have to, oh the court of public opinion. There's like, people respect them.

It totally. And so they have communities to uphold Yeah, they have lots of people on their team. We got me and you and those dudes. Yeah, so we What's the best charity to make them raise money for? Well, I mean we should pick a really good charity come us That charity wrote team yeah, I think that would make it real. Yeah, but then it'd be weird when you go, we run, here's $11 million going to Hamas. I think it would kind of bring the mood down a little bit,

and be like, we won, yay. I don't think that's what we want. Maybe, yeah, yeah. Listen guys, these are all brain storm sessions. Yeah, yeah. Okay, what do we do? What do we do, like, world central kitchen or something, you know? Fuck that.

That's where they feed people where disasters have happened. You know what I do that? Ow. Why? You want to give it to a terrorist order? were disasters have happened. You know what I do that? Oh, why? You want to give it to a terrorist order? That's why you think a fun thing would be? You raise up money for North Korea. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Starlight Children's Foundation, maybe. No? I'm drooling. Oh, oh Proud brothers, so you're proud boys. Oh my god. Oh my god. Fuck why don't they raise money for the Republican party? Okay, which I bet you know, I bet they're probably like that part of them is like, all right, it's not that bad, but we can't say it out loud. Right. And then we'll raise money for Bernie Sanders, just him specifically. What's he still in it?

He's not only is running. Oh, he is fucking $11 million for him. If we, oh my God, it will be an election year. So if we just get behind a campaign, but then it's just, you're just, it's just stupid. No, but it has to be somebody like, it has a, you know, there's always like the person who's like fifth on the ballot. He like, who the fuck is this? And they get like a thousand votes. You got to raise money for that kind of thing. No, let's change the world. Let's change the world slowly, and we can get a fifth party candidate to win.

You can get on the ballot. What if we raise it for you and you run for president? You used to go through the paperwork, it's supposed to be, I mean, you're not. I'm gonna do it. No, no, no, but I mean, we'd have to get somebody to like actually do the work. Yeah, I'll run for president.

We'd raise money for your campaign. Yep, that'll run for president. We'd raise money for your campaign. Yeah, that's it. You guys have to raise money for my campaign to be president. And then we'll raise money for whoever you really want to be president. I'd be great at the beehives. Like he's got some good points. Yeah, you'd be an awesome president. I would be an awesome president.

Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to look at Lee on the entire night tonight and go, why can't you be Taylor Swift? Yeah, that's like crazy That that's crazy. Hmm. What car is Taylor? What car is to others left I know It passed episodes guys gets into the brothers. We Talk about what cars our wives are yeah, Leanne's a Bronco and Taylor and Christine is an SL 500 from 98. Eight?

Ooh, that was a close one. That sound like a dart. Yeah. Taylor Swift is, I don't know, that's interesting. What kind of car is Taylor Swift? I think she's a classic. She's a classic, but she is a classic.

But, and I'm only saying this because I think that, I wonder, I wonder, we're gonna get to know the Kelsey brothers better after this. We'll find out. But I bet, I wonder if she's, and I mean this in like, not in a sex way, but like, I wonder if she's easy to drive, right? Like, I wonder if like, wonder what it's like hanging out with a superstar.

Like, I wonder what it's like. I wonder, I imagine, hanging out with a superstar. Like I wonder what it's like. I imagine she's pretty regular because it seems like she grew up pretty regular. It seems like it sure does. But still it's like, it's like, I'm difficult to be around. And I'm not her.

Maybe that's because, maybe that's why I'm difficult to be around, maybe that's why I'm not her. But like I wonder like if, because like I was gonna say my clarin', right? Just everyone, I mean, if you show up at a fucking valet, everyone fucking looks. If you walk into a bar with Taylor Swift, everyone fucking looks.

But you can't be like, yo, just hoppin' it and park it over there. It's a little tough to drive. It's complicated. As soon as you see it, you're like, holy fucking shit. No, I don't know. She'd have to be a classic. Like, what kind of car would Whitney Houston be?

Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston's a fucking classic. That's true. Like the top five classic, top five female artists that will go down in history. Okay. And just do the ones we know. Like you can obviously, obviously, go at a James and stuff like that, which are like the fucking goats of of goats, right? But let's just do the ones we know,

starting with New Houston forward. Cause Whitney Houston's got to be in there, right? Whitney Houston's definitely in there. I'm a name names. Okay. Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, Redalin. Dolly's pretty amazing. June Carter. Yeah. Nina Simone.

Nina Simone, Erica Badu. Amazing. Lauren Hill, Beyonce. Sure. Jennifer Lopez. I fucking love the Ben Affleck memes. The Ben Affleck memes? Like the one when they the Benaflek memes. The Benaflek memes? Like the one when they, the sad Ben memes.

I love them so much. I love them so much. I love them. I love that they, I love them. I know he probably hates them, but they make, I giggle at them every time. Because everyone knows that sentiment. That's why it's just such a thing.

Everyone gets that like, yeah. That one. That, that, that's's that registers. Yeah. To everybody. Yeah, everybody knows what that exactly what that feels like. So, so, uh, what do you got? Mariah Carey in there, right? Yeah, you have to put Carey. Yeah, we're way over five though, right? Yeah, yeah, but nobody look who your top five. Madonna. That's the dog has to be in there. Yeah, in're way over five though, right? Yeah, yeah, but nobody look who your top five? Madonna, Lady Gaga has to be in there. Yeah, in the conversation.

Yeah. It's funny how Madonna was like the Brittany. Oh, oh, Diana Ross. Brittany Christina, Rihanna. Rihanna, keep going. Diane, Olivia Newton, Dr. Franklin, Katie Perry. What do they have Taylor Swift's 10? What year was this done? Well, this is, yeah, I know.

They have Madonna's number one. I think that's, that's going to change. Yeah, Donna Summer. Parvaders, she played drums. They have Beyonce's 15. That's fucking off, brother. Barbara Streisand has share, pink. Yeah. Like there is, there is, there is. There is Stefan, Glaston. That's fucking off, Barbara Streisand has share pink.

Yeah. Like there is, there is, there is. There is. Stefan, Glaston. I guarantee you, because you know how we are about like comics or are, are, are, I wouldn't say caddy about tours, but it's like, it's like, there's like, there's, you know, when someone does bigger venues, you notice it.

Everybody does, yeah. And so I wonder if that happens with Taylor with pink and Lady Gaga. I think they all know. And they're all like, like I heard. Yeah, they know. One of the, I heard one of the stars being like, yo, I sell, I sell just as many tickets. And you're like, you guys are all the same to us.

Yeah. Well, their thing also, they legit make a jump from arenas to stadiums. Yeah, and that becomes a thing that like, there's a number of them that can routinely do that. I heard Taylor Swift has two tour buses, meaning two sets of tours. One goes to the next stadium and sets up as she does this show, and then she goes over does that,

and then they go to the hopscotch. That's fucking crazy. Pretty crazy. Yeah, it's a whole other thing. She's definitely on another level. No question. How do you have her for Thanksgiving at your house? And not everyone's like, it's a toilet fucking swift.

I don't know. I think it's probably she knows how to like deflate people and just be like, joy DS told me that when he did a movie with De Niro, he said this thing, I never forget, he goes the first time that you're doing a scene. He said, you know, they were like blocking it, kind of running it, and that De Niro, like he's in a chair, and he looks up,

and De Niro is standing above him, and he said when he looked up, De Niro put his hand on his shoulder and said, it's okay, it's okay. Cause he knew that Joey and like the new guys on the set were like, oh fuck, it's from the Nero, yeah. And so he was like, it's okay, like himself, like I know, it's all right.

Oh, I bet she's like, does the dishes and shit. Oh, cause she's that person also, cause she grew up like that. Sure. Or she grew up with manners. So I bet she's like, I'll do the dishes. Yeah. Maybe she gets her own water bottles.

Yeah. And we got a water bottle in years. What do you mean? I got no water for myself. I don't want to hear. I haven't even opened it. You mean someone gives it to you? Oh yeah, I fucking see you be in the house like, hey.

Let me date Jason Kelsey and watch the diva that shows up. Like I was like, Jason, are they gonna do apps for us or are we just gonna sit here and play play station? You think I'm gonna do stuff? Yeah, like you bring it to me. Yeah, but like someone's bringing it to me. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking do shit around there. What do you think of that opportunity, Jason?

Hey, can I come to Thanksgiving? Hmm. All right. All right. All right. We got the challenge. Yeah. We're all set up.

Super Bowl weekend Taylor Swift lyrics. Sure, let's close on some Taylor Swift lyrics. Back to back. Tom and I will sing the song. You give us the lyrics. And we're gonna broadcast from the Super Bowl. From the Super Bowl and challenge. Well, that's when we will reveal who won the fundraising.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we need them to accept challenge first. Yep. All the January. Once they do, we'll text, we'll DM with each other and text. You got Jason's Travis's number. We'll text. We'll find out the charities we're raising the money for. We'll go live on our own podcast, separate podcasts. Yep. And then we'll do a co podcast from the Super Bowl. We'll both be at the Super Bowl, MGM Grand Arena. And I'm overrevealed who won the challenge.

I can't wait. I think it's gonna be fucking great. It reminds me of when we were both young, when I first saw you, I closed my eyes and the flashback starts. I'm standing there on the balcony in the summer. Rare. See the lights, see the party, see the ball gowns. So there's a, you know, there's a high probability that neither one or neither brothers available. Oh, yeah., oh I forgot to play football. Yeah, I think the Super Bowl is probably a bad place to meet up, huh?

Could be. I bet they can dare to be on fucking press row. That's true. We should do live press row, two bears from press row. That can definitely happen. I'll be fucking great. Yeah. Hey, can we set that up?

So if we can do radio row, two bears live, two bears from radio row Clean everything's fine Wonder if the Kelsey brother should their pants. Yeah, there's a challenge for you Who can sit the pants more aggressively? I bet it's me Thank you guys for watching for this episode super fun episode. Super fun. Love you. Love you more. you