2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Calling Comics for 2 Bears 5K | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 217

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

SPONSORS: Visit https://betterhelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together in the bear cave to start the new year! This time they aren't alone as a discussion on new year's resolutions spirals into a marathon challenge that leads to FaceTime calls involving several comedians. Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, Michelle Wolf, Tim Dillon, Stavros Halkias, and even Louis C.K. all jump on the show to address the newly dubbed "5K By May" challenge from the bears. While waiting on replies from Dave Chapelle and Kevin Hart, Bert and Tom, continue hunting for comedians to add to their list of bangers. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We want to do a 5K and we would love if you would join us. Um, not in a million years. Not in a million years. So this is Watchpert Die. Yeah, this is... Yeah, Louis. 100%. This episode is brought to you by SOTVA.

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and then you can go back to your drip and your New Year's resolutions. What year's New Year's resolutions. Which year? New Year's resolution, Tom. I think I have multiple ones. Really? Yeah. I've already achieved everything I've ever wanted in life,

so this is gonna be, is a cruise year. Cruise, yeah, just chill. It's a chill year. Chill year. Every year's resolution, it's always drink less, lose weight, do push ups, run a seven minute mile. That's every year. Do you run a seven minute mile. That's every year. Do you run a seven minute mile this year?

No, no, no, no, I'm going to try. I haven't been running because I plan to fly shiiters when I'm fat, just my feet hurt. And so I'm down now. I'm going to see if I can get down to a seven minute mile. Do you mean in just under eight or do you mean a seven minute mile? Do you think you can do that? I don't know. I think I could now.

It's all about your body and the weight of your body. Well, yeah, yeah, it's also how fast you move your legs. But- The mischievous I've been in probably 12 years. No, no, no, no, we were 220 when we did the weight loss challenge. That's the mischievous I've ever been. But I gave her back. In 2017.

2017, so like, I'm the mischievous I've been in a very long time. But wait a minute. I want to go, because I just did a 5K. And one of the things I'd like to do this year is a 10K. Oh wow, this is what's beautiful about this show that unravels right in front of you. But one of the things I got kind of... I love being your partner.

Thanks, I love being your partner. Did she say that to you? Mm-hmm. They end up saying a fucking thing to me. Things I got kind of. I love being your partner. Thanks, I love being your partner. Did she say that to you? Hmm. They end up saying a fucking thing to me. She, I don't think she appreciates me as much as I appreciate you. Really? Oh, she's never made me mommy.

That's why you appreciate me. Well, other things too. I mean, we, do you do you wait? Will you? So because here's the thing, I was so far removed. All right, full disclosure. The only time I really got into running and I mean, I made it like part of my routine. And this is true is the summer between eighth grade and ninth grade. It really is. And what I would do is on my own.

This is why I was a thing where like, and I, you know, I was on the path of like, oh, this is something that I think I'm really into. I did it like five days a week from like late May until September. I got pretty good at it. Like I was enjoying it and I was extending the runs. Let it go, never became a thing again. Getting ready for the 5K was the first time I got like thinking about paces, you know what I mean? Like what I was for the last 15 years

was basically like run a mile, a mile. And I never even thought about the time. It was always just like, did we finish a mile? And then you would just like walk, and then maybe run again. But so this was the only thing time where I was like thinking about it, monitoring the pace, being like, okay, I want to try to maintain this pace. So it got that into my head. And then you see the people who, you know, you see the different categories, people who were running at a 10 minute pace,

nine, eight, seven, six, and five, fucking the most psychotic people in the world. They have those treadmills when you do marathons. They have a huge safe treadmill at the pace that the record setter for the whatever marathon did. And they see people can just stay on it. And if you can't, their pace is so fucking quick. And here's the thing, when those guys,

the top two guys that are doing the five minute and sub five minute paces, they're not like, they're just like, looks like they're doing a casual run. They're so elite but Actually started thinking about how back then when I did a one mile test run I did it in like the low sevens. Yeah, I was like wow. That's fucking Seem so far not just so long ago, but like getting to that pace is like a real thing Do you think you could do a seven minute mile now?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's because a lot of what a seven minute mile is, not multiple. I can't do multiple, but a lot of what a seven minute mile is is just maintaining that pace and there's and getting. So is that how you would, would you do it in, let's break it into quarter miles, would you do it where you get to this pace into the, in the first quarter and go, I will keep this for the four quarters. Yes, yes.

And then, and then in that last quarter, I speed it up. Okay, so you go for the push at the end. I'd go for the push at the end. And so I did it, the last time I did it, was probably, it was right, it was when I was 40. That's fucking long ago. Yeah. It's probably the last time I did it the last time I did it, was probably, it was right, it was when I was 40. That's fucking long ago. Yeah.

It's probably the last time I did it that I really remember registering it. Hey, you're 51 now. Yeah, 10 minute miles, I gotta be honest, you're 10 minute miles are tough, especially it. That's why I'm asking you to think you can trim that three minutes off of that? Three minutes off of a fucking run is not easy.

It's actually easier than you think. Okay, how? Because you will not notice, you will not notice a nine into 10 minute mile. Your body won't notice it. Well, I'll say this for having just kind of... What did you do a 5K in? Dude, it was, my goal was just to be sub 10 minute the whole time. Yeah.

And I had the, I was looking at, I wish I'd had the watch. Oh, bro, I had when I ran with my phone. Whenever I do races, they have a tattoo that you can put on your arm that has the, the, not altitudes, but altitudes really. Of altitudes is the wrong thing. Yeah, that's how. Attitude? No.

Attitude? Non-jeivity. Non-jeivity? No, the thing that tells you how high you are. Like, it tells you what your about to run, your height, your about to run, and then when you downhill, you give you up hills and downhills to each mile.

What, it's a real time thing? Yeah, can you pull it up? A to two of, maybe it's a real time thing? Yeah, can you pull it up? A tattoo of... Maybe it's a tattoo. A tattoo. It's like things are going your skin that forever. What? A tattoo.

But you just, it's a press on. It's a press on. I don't understand what it tells you. It tells you, my own one, your incline is this much. Okay. So you can pace yourself. Okay, okay. So sometimes you'll go like, fuck, it's a pretty steep incline. I'm gonna walk this incline is this much. Okay. So you can pace yourself. Okay. Okay. So sometimes you'll go like, fuck, it's a pretty steep incline.

I'm gonna walk this incline so I know that I have a down, down, and so... Well, here's the thing. There are marathons that are just straight downhill, all downhill. I ran a one mile, the week leading up to it at a... It wasn't like, oh my god, I'm dying. It was like focused, and it was like 915, right? It's good. But I was like, okay, if I fucking was really pushing myself to do that, I know I could like if you were like, you got to run faster, probably trim it to just sub nine for that one mile.

That's a long ways from a seven minute mile though. Long way. It is, but if you're focusing on one mile, it's different. Totally. And one mile you're looking at the clock, you're looking at your pace, and you're also realizing you're eating huge chunks

of the clock and you're knowing where you are. It is a burner like you might throw up afterwards. But seriously, 10 minute miles of threshold of the average person will feel a 10 minute mile. But if you're in kind of shape, you, I would argue, you won't feel the difference. If I put you at, what it looked like a 10 minute mile and had you start running and really a nine minute mile,

you'd be like, I didn't know. You would definitely know what a seven minute mile. Oh, fuck yeah. Eight minute mile. I used to run eight minutes and 13 seconds was my pace when I was running a lot for a mile. And, but I never, but I never like, that's what I do a 5K in.

So I was doing 5K a day for, I thought I had a stroke in a, Bali and it was, it was a sciatic problems. And but it scared the fuck out of me. It scared the fuck out of me the only time I've ever I read, I listened to Matthew Perry's book.

Did you ever listen to it? The one about his diction, the heartbreaking. What is it involved writing? I did a lot of, no. I mean, I didn't know we were like, did we transition? Oh, no, I got to Maddie. Wait a minute. Does there a fucking no? I got to the Maddie. I don't know how I got into it. I don't know how you got into it either. Oh, oh, oh, because when I when I thought I had a stroke, there's a moment, especially if you're a partier that you realize I did this to myself.

Yeah. And he had done that when he ruptured his colon. He realized he had done this to himself and I identified with that feeling. And so fucking sad that he's dead. Dude, I will just say this. I'm, listen, I'm not going to get one day. I'll do, I'll get in the weeds about addiction and my control and how I deal with things and I was just talking to Ryan about it and I'd nauseam about journaling.

I really wanted to drink last night. I really wanted to martini and a bottle of wine. I wanted it. And so I journaled about it like when I got home and why I wanted it and what I wanted and I still couldn't get past that I wanted it. I didn't have it and then I journaled this morning about it about do I got home and why I wanted it and what I wanted and I still couldn't get past the fact that I wanted it. I didn't have it and then I journaled this morning about it about do I feel better and I didn't feel better. Oddly enough, I didn't sleep well last night.

Then after my workout, I journaled again and I went, okay, that was a good, that was really, I'm glad I didn't drink. And so then I look at those journal entries and I use them to quantify times that I'm happy in my life, I have a happening as journal. This is so crazy talk that Dr. Drew, everyone picked me apart in a million fucking ways

and I don't wanna, I'm not there yet. But in his book, when you listen to his book, if you're going through anything, listen to his book and if you can identify with what he feels, then you have a problem. Because he really talks about having a problem. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Around New Years, we all get obsessed

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and make changes that really stick. Tom and I talk aggressively about New Year's resolutions. I think if not this episode, the next episode, because we're obsessed with change. We're obsessed with trying to do better for ourselves and our families. Tom's got two young kids, and my kids are almost out of the house, and now it's just me and Leanne.

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I don't have that. He talks about Bruce Willis. And how Bruce Willis could party his balls off, have a great fucking time, but turn it off at the end of the night and go, I'm going to bed and then get up and go to work and get shit done. He was like, I wish I had that. And I was like, I got more than that than that.

Like, I love the party. I want the party to never end. But I don't sit in my bed going, I want more. I just go, I'm going to bed. And Matthew Perry could not go to bed. Like he was just like, I mean, dude, that book is so, it is such a great, he is so fucking honest and vulnerable in it that it really makes you pray,

it breaks your heart when you find out that he did pass, especially with, I don't know, with the toxicology port, but it's happening. It wasn't anything. My point is, it wasn't anything. It was, it was that his body had given up. His body had just gone through so much. I think he did a lot of exercise that day, right? He wouldn't play pickleball. Yeah, but he was, he was a great tennis player. He, um, but that But that is so wild too. This is like a real, like, you know,

superficial thing, but the way abuse of drugs and alcohol just destroys the way someone's, you know, he was like this handsome guy. He was a handsome guy. And you saw the way like this, the body just falls apart. It just falls apart. You don't even realize it? Yeah.

I just show you that picture of me that from fully loaded when I was 275, you don't realize I was telling you, I felt good, I looked good. I was happy with my body. You don't even realize it. You don't even realize you're red in every interview you do. People pointed out online and you go, fuck you. You want me to get hair and makeup for? I do a podcast like I can get hair and makeup. People get hair and makeup. You don't even know.

Road to go through three hours of hair and makeup before you do those bug. I did say every day, every day. But um, but I mean, I not and we're gonna go back to running, but like Sean McCown from the Pogs passed away recently. Do you fan of the Pogs? I know your wife probably was. They were like an Irish punk band, but they sang like old Irish songs. He was epic.

One of Johnny Depp's best friends. A legend. His teeth, he didn't have the best teeth. Did you have the best? He had a pretty rough teeth. He had a pretty rough teeth. At the end, he lost all rough teeth. He had pretty rough teeth. At the end, he lost all his teeth. And he was a big drug user.

Big drug user, big drinker. That's his mouth. Yeah. He was great. You know, he's one of the best Christmas songs in the world or by the Pogs. Really? Yeah, they won't play it because they use the F word in it.

Girl calls him a f***ing in the song, but it's one of the best, it's the best Christmas song I would argue, it's my favorite Christmas song. And so, but when you, now go to, go to pictures of Sean McCowne right before he passed, and it's heartbreaking, but that's the thing. No, you got, yeah, like, look at him, like, yeah, no, that's, yeah. But that's what it does. Ultimately, like, look at him. Like, yeah, no, that's, yeah.

It just, but that's what it does. Ultimately, that's what it does. And one day you wake up and you go, I did this to myself. I did this to myself. And that's the thing. And only you can answer this in your head if you're dealing with stuff.

But if you can, I never want, I never want to be there. I never want to be there. And I to be there and I was there in Bali where I thought I drank the whole fucking flight to Asia Did that we did got the hotel rooms in the airport in Japan and got a bottle of wine went into there How to bottle of wine in the hotel room slept Port of Bala wine in my thermos drank it on the flight into Bali get to Bali get fucking wasted at Bali because it's like daytime drink all day long Wake up the next morning in a beautiful hotel But infinity pool girls want to go swimming and my legs numb and I'm like I did it I did it to my that panic that you feel that I've do I've done something I did it

I did it. I did this to myself you asked for it You didn't you you refused to listen to anyone. You wanted to do it your way and this is where you are. And then through the day, my legs started feeling better. And I said, that's it. I'm gonna run 5K a day. I'm gonna run 5K a day. I'm gonna, if this is a stroke, I'm gonna fucking,

it wasn't a stroke of sciatic, but I did a 5K a day. And that's when I started really, and then I started really, like all through Australia, because I did an Australian tour, 5K a day. Every day when I started really and I started really like all through Australia because I did an Australian tour 5K a day every day for like a very long time. That's when I was like that's when I was getting my times down. So my 5K time was 26 minutes, I think was the last 5K I did. It's good. And it's not great.

I did it. That's great. And I thought it was a beer crawl 5K. So we had like four beers before it from. No, that's great. And I thought it was a beer crawl 5K. So we had like four beers before it started. And then it was just a 5K at a rate. But right now though, you think you can get down to seven minute mile. I think so.

I have a different body than I did. Like when I was running, my body was really like, it was not like I had shoulders were like a coat hanger. My, yeah, but you're, you know, the thing about great distance runners, I'm saying even though Miles not considered distance distance, but it's really about, they're all lean. Yeah, they're very lean.

The guys that like the top times that this 5K, they were like 15 they were 15 minutes, 15 minutes, like up 16 minutes and you're like, what? Like, but those guys, I saw them because I saw them on the approach, as we were hitting mile one, we saw them, cause it was all outside on streets. I didn't realize when they were,

we saw them coming back. They were running back. They were running back about to at two, they were like at two and a half miles about to finish. And we were on the approach of mile one. We were like, what the fuck? But they all were like 140, 150 pounds. You got like 130 pounds to run.

They were like super, super lean guys. Yeah. The real fun race is a half marathon. That's the best. Marathon sucked Dix. Half marathon is the shit. We should put on a 5K, a two bearers 5K. 5K would be dope.

Yeah, 5K and then make it fun. Have like a big party afterwards. Oh, I know when we could do it. We do it March. By March. It's great time to run. Springtime. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful out. No allergies. Everyone's out there. Actually, the Thanksgiving day one was kind of super fun. Those turkey trots are awesome. Yeah, 7 a.m. And it's like, it's cool out, but it's not cold. It was nice.

What I ran the LA marathon, I did not train for it. I told everyone I didn't train for it. I remember. But the one thing I did is I knew Marathons. I knew the one mistake you did not want to do is I have to take a shit to marathon. Yeah, it's right out the gate lines for the bathroom. As soon as they start running, everyone's got a shit.

And that's ruined their time. You already shit. All right, shit, I shit aggressively. I shit ate a banana. I walked when I needed to walk, I ran when I could, and wait, if you went outside right now, ran one mile, what do you think your time would be for one mile?

If like I pushed it? Yeah, I could probably, and I only say this, I jog a little bit on the tri-mill today, I could probably bang out, like if I pushed it in eight and a half minute mile. Okay. I think if I pushed it, but I'm also in, I don't know if I've run, I've been doing a lot of squats

and stuff like that, so I think my legs are probably stronger even than when I ran. Yeah, but it's a different thing, right? It's a different thing. Runners legs are different like that. So I think my legs are probably stronger, even than when I ran. Yeah, but it's a different thing, right? It's a different thing. Runavers legs are different than that. Runavers legs are totally different. And it's a lot about your body movement. You get comfortable,

your body gets muscles in your body. But the first time you run, you feel pain in places you don't want to miss. You're running comics, you think. Well, obviously Michelle's up there. Michelle's probably gotta be number one. Yeah. I mean, I don't think any, she runs like she's running from something, Obviously Michelle's up there. Michelle's probably gotta be number one. I mean, I don't think any,

she runs like she's running from something, like for real. Like she runs in dangerous neighborhoods. She runs, she runs 12 miles every day. Yeah, so she's a real runner. Real runner. Like when we did that challenge, I would text with her back and forth.

And I was like, I was, I had to push to get to a thousand miles that year Into yeah, see it easy easy That's a different you got up a different mindset to be a runner like my dad my dad was a real runner like real Rebron like sub three or like three three hour marathons really? Yeah, my dad was like my dad was like shit Like when he run he doesn't run anymore He's got a broken hip, but when he ran it was actually pretty beautiful Like he had like a great stride very relaxed I used to have to go and and and be his like Guide a follow-up. Did you see with that motherfucker that just had the new world record did no

his pace pace for 26 miles was 438 for the marathon. The guy kept it for 26 miles. But he's boring as fuck. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, you think, if you think, think about, let's take a show out of this equation. Yeah, what brain do you have? You definitely go somewhere else you definitely check out what do you think? Cam Haines thinks about when he runs fucking elk. I don't know

So good question. Let's call him okay And Cam Haines learned to like he is the best fucking giving like an inspiring answer I'm already I want him I want to broken answer out of camp. Yeah. I know I'm getting a broken fucking Cameron Haynes. I know I like all the pussy I left on the table or something like that. So we want to hear FaceTime campaigns. How many things? So aggressive.

I mean, men do you think FaceTime in a way? So he's probably on a run right now. He's got he just released a new shoe that is my favorite shoe I've ever put on. Really? Yeah, it's got it's got, he just released a new shoe that is my favorite shoe I've ever put on. Really? Yeah, it's got, uh, canhanes. Hey, what's up? Hey, we're doing two bears one cave. What's up, canh?

Hey, Tom. How you doing, man? Hey, we're talking, we're talking running right now. I gotta give a shout out to your shoes real quick. Can you tell everyone to get them because I'll tell you what I love and I hate about your shoes, okay? You can't slide them off your foot when you're done working

out because of the locks, but that's what I love about your shoes. Is your foot is fucking in there? They stay put, don't they? They stay fucking put. You gotta send Tommy a pair. Please. I will. What size are you, Tom?

10 and a half. All right, that's a power size. That's like big, dick, energy size. There you go. You should see what I'm packing. Hey, that's that's a power size. That's like big dick energy size There you go. You should see what I'm packing. Hey, Cam. We're talking about running first question What do you think about when you run? Yeah, what's going on in your mind for real when you're on you know One of your casual afternoon 20 mile runs well, I mean here's this is a guaranteed every time I put on two bears, one cave podcast. And I just feel like a superhero.

That's crazy. You're like your voice is like a superhero because you're like, I'm not like these two fucking slabs. I don't know, you know, I just love getting out of the fresh air. I like when mud splashes up. I just like being on the mountains. So like, okay, I think I asked you this once and you told me, I've heard this from other like real runners.

Hardest mile for people that run really like you do is mile one, right? And then, but do your, does your mind go into, I guess you don't have the problem of like, oh, this is hard, I gotta, you're in incredible shape, but do you get into like a meditative state or do you actually like focus in on something or is it almost like there's nothing, you know what I mean?

Like kind of nothing's going on. You know, the old bridegidd is more than just that mile. The mile is first miles rough when you first start looking at your young. Now it's like the first few miles. My body's kind of stiff, but once I get going and get the juices flowing, so to speak, and you can just run and you know, some days you feel great, some days it's a struggle the whole time, but when you can get in that groove and run and you feel strong there's no greater feeling. Yeah. And that's I mean that's a fleeting feeling but that's kind of why you keep going. Yeah. You remember that one special run and you don't

it doesn't happen every time but uh. Did you? If someone real quick takes out and doesn't edit and changes the word running to drinking, I feel the same fucking way. Sometimes that first drink's tough to get down. Did you? But then by that third drink, you're like, I know this guy, I can do this all fucking day long. Do you have a hard time putting it down? That's a great, that's a great life lesson right there.

It's like, if you don't want to drink, you just got to keep power and through. There you go. Did you run yesterday? Of course. Yeah, I did. I was one I put up on the I talked my wife into like, hey, I'm going to jump over you and I jump on this monument and then I landed on her head. Nice. Well, she'll remember that. We did get the run in. How far did you run yesterday? remember that. We did get the run in. How far did you run yesterday? Got it. I didn't even look, but I would say I did. I did two summits. I probably 10 miles with 2000 foot gain summits on the mountain I run. Oh, we did. Oh, we did a similar day. Okay. We do a two bears 5k. Would you come out and be a part of it? Do you still do your thing? Yeah, I mean, I do, uh, sometimes I have get together and we do a run and I had one here last summer,

like a lift run shoot event, but no, I would be there. I'd love to. Yeah, you could do our, you could do our 5K and then you could go on a real run. You should be fun. Hey, three miles is a win. I mean, anybody, it's a, that's a good day. All right. Hey, we would love for you to take Tom and I bow hunting. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's get a you know, I'm gonna. I got you were meant to bow and he doesn't he lived down there by you guys. I mean, I know

You and him are brothers, right Tom? We're cousins. He has multiple homes. You know that podcast does pretty well We're cousins. He has multiple homes. You know that podcast does pretty well Yeah, so But anyway, I'm gonna come down there and shoot with him. I could bring you guys bows and we could just make it a big big bow hunting orgy I am all right. Let's do it deadly with a bow cam I'm sure I mean that goes without saying yeah, we need someone to carry our meat out But like if you can bring your sons and they'll pack our meat. Whatever we kill. That sounds weird. Whatever we kill, we just hand over to your boys and we're like, all right guys, you're

young, you carry it out. Like we'll just do that. Yeah, no. We love, you know, working and getting the kills out of the woods, so that'd be great. We would love to do a run shoot, kill episode with you. Me and Tom, but I want your boys there too. I want to do pull-ups. I want to do everything. All right. Let's make it happen. We'll make it a full event. Hey, real quick. Tell everyone when they get your shoes. I really do love your shoes.

Oh, there it. Yeah. So there's a link. You gave a little shout out to me that I should have a link. And I didn't on my Instagram, but there is a link on my Instagram now, but it's just speedland.com. That's awesome. I can't wait to try these shoes out. And thank you for answering Bert's super aggressive FaceTime to people at fucking like nine in the morning. Hey, it's good. I was like, I saw the FaceTime coming in.

I'm like, holy shit, Bert's calling me. It's pretty exciting. Legends answer legends. Yeah. Holy shit, Berks calling me. This is pretty exciting. Legends answer legends. Yeah, I will need your address, Tom, unless I could just put Tom, figure California know if make it to you. Yeah, no, I'll text you my address. Hey, how fast do you run a mile, Cam?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was a mile time. What's your one mile? Like if you were just running one, what? If you wanted to throw up a good time for a mile, what do you think you could bang out of mile? Loose in shape, like what do you think you could bang out a mile loose in in shape? Like what do you think you're bang out of my line?

God, I'm old. I'm old. Yeah, not fat and sloppy like you are now like if you were in shape like what could you? Well, let's see. I mean any anything close to like a five minute mile was fast. I mean I A few years ago I did I think a five thirteen I mean, a few years ago I did I think a 513, which is weird because I've also done a 10K where I can hold like a 542 pace for six miles. So it's like that's, I'm not that fast like a four minute mile or anything like that, but I can sustain a decent pace for a while. Oh, we're putting, I just had a brilliant idea. We're putting together the perfect running event For two bears and I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you up. I'd love for you to be a part of it Tom's gonna do a 5k I'm gonna do a half marathon and then we should get you to do the marathon Everyone can go out at different paces with their different heroes and we'll get Rogan

Oh, yeah, no Rogan did a 5k. It's like the I think that's the furthest he's ever run. He came down to Vegas and did the keep him in 5k like maybe eight years ago. So he's done a 5k himself. All right. We'll get him back out there then. Cam's done. Thank you. I hate to say this. My shoulders are trembling from holding the phones. Oh, Hey, you got to push through push to the pain. Hey, that's where the games happen. That's where the games happen. I'll talk to you later about the benefits of outdoor showering and I'll talk to you later. Okay, I'll later. I love that it went.

I had a hole in the far, my arms are trembling. I couldn't allow lower the phone so I'm fucking on a man. You should your pants. No, I didn't. Hey, would someone grab me a diet soda? I'm looking for something sweet treat. Gotcha. Camhains has the brain where you can just shut it off.

It is. And read comments and read fucking, and behave. Carrying what things about him. No, no, no. That's a beautiful part as you do get to that place where like when I ran the half marathon, my pace for the last six miles was like eight something

because I was just like, I wanna get this over with. My heart rate was through the fucking roof, but the best part is the party afterwards. That's what I'm gonna focus on. Well, yeah, I think you should be in charge of the party. I'll be in charge of the party. You'll run a 5K. So find out the distances, I think you get a 5K.

You don't wanna have, by the way, it should just be one distance for the whole thing. For everyone? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, and we should give prizes. You can, sure. We'll stagger it from prizes.

Open to the public? Open to the public, yeah. Yeah, I mean, five cures the thing about the five. We're going to have the Clydesdale's edition. The five K is the most accessible. It's like, you're elite people want to do it in like, really crazy times. Some people honestly walk a 5K, but it's like doable. You know, it's the one that's like the

most fun and accessible. Clivesdale, the Clivesdale division. From triathlons, can you go to a Clivesdale division? Clivesdale division. It's for fat guys, really? So when I did, when I did, oh, thank you so much. Wow. When I did the triathlon, I walked up and got to go to Clivesdale and I went, it is a horse all so guys. And I was like, what? And he goes, Clivesdale?

And I was like, no, I'm just doing the triathlon. And he goes, no, for the fat guys, Clivesdale. And I was like, I'm not that fat. And he goes, you're Clivesdale. And I was like, I guess anything over divisions, what is the you're Clydesdale. And I was like, I guess anything over divisions, what is the Clydesdale and the triathlon on the seater days and the drop down? Yeah.

Oh, anyways, anyone over 220? We need to have, we need to have the cardiac arrest division. You can choose to race as a Clydesdale or not. Wow. Yeah, and so that way. I think this fan base is like, it's almost all Clizale sales. Dude, that's our whole goal this year.

Yeah. Listen, here's the deal. Tom and I can work as hard as we want on stand up and present specials and keep doing specials and do movies. We can do that. But if you're not there to buy tickets to that, it is fruitless.

Okay, we love you guys. And we want you to be healthy. Tom started this journey when he realized he couldn't jump anymore And he blew out his arm and exploded his knee and and and his journey led everyone else on this journey We always want to bring back fat Tom the only way we can do that is for us get skinnier than him

Yeah, so we if we want to bring back fat Tom we need to polarize We need to activate our group to get healthy and it starts with our 5k. We want all the fans to show up. If you guys all go to the 5k then Tom will be fat Tom. Yeah, guys, let's get, let's start training. That's our New Year's resolution. There you go. That's our New Year's resolution.

This is the fucking greatest show on the earth. Yeah, yeah. That's our New Year's resolution. 5k. 5k by May. 5K by May. Let's get ready for it. Let's train for it. Put up your weights right now.

I want shirtless, aggressive pictures in your underwear in front of the mirror. I want to see all the shit that's on your counter. I want to see everything. Post those. Post those and tag me and Tom and them. Tom and I are going to tag our fat as photos. And you guys can help us with those.

The one I just showed you. Oh my God. When you were saying you were 250, but we're like, That's a little more. Was it kilograms? Now that was, how fat is that? That's so fat.

You alright? I needed it. You don't want a regular coke? Uh oh. Oh, taste. We get your fatus and do one of your wife. Fatus photo of her? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get her involved because if your wife gets healthy, you get healthy. That's the truth. Okay. And so we do 5K. We'll do it in May. 5K that by May. everyone can get ready for it. But today's January 1st, stop what you're doing. Don't listen to the whole episode, listen to the ads too.

But go to the camera right now and take a picture of yourself. And I'm trusting when I say this, eat as much as you want before you take this picture. You want the fattest picture of you before you lose weight. Because one day you'll lose weight and you'll wish you had a disgusting picture of you to post. That's true. That is true.

Get as fat as you fucking eat like a lunatic today. Go hard as fuck. And take those photos. I want to see your tits. Get bagels right now. Get bagels right now. Start drinking. Start drinking.

Cream cheese. Oh, bacon. Faa. Yeah, you need a breakfast sandwich. You're making me salivate a bagel with cream cheese, a fried egg and bacon and then the yolk pops on is drizzling all over it. Let me tell you what he should do. I'm looking at these May dates. We can put this in May. Let's do it. Let's do a 5K in May. Two bears, five K in May, all day, every day. We need a slogan that people can shout out as they run. Dude, and let's activate our fans to get healthier.

We've been on a journey. Let's share it and listen. Sliding our DMs, we'll hit you up, we'll keep you motivated. It's the best thing and share it on social media. There's nothing more fun than watching someone's journey and I know that they probably make you crazy, but have you ever seen the really fat chicks

who like, they're like, this is me and then you're like, this isn't gonna happen. And then all of a sudden she's a fucking dime That happens all the time online All right, and then are you going to set a goal? I'm setting a goal. I'm setting a goal. I'm setting a goal time. All right, let's let's be irrational That's what your best at. Yep. So Five was typing on what the average 5k it time is

Our wives are gonna run it So, type in with the average 5K, time is. Are wives are gonna run it? Your kids will smoke it. Your kids will fly through a 5K. Kids actually do, I ran with kids. Oh, did you really, they fly? They might have you, my nephew and my friend's son, they're like 10, 11, they flew through the thing. Okay, here we go.

40, let's go, mine 45. 45 beginner, 34 novice 28, intermediate 24. Scroll back up so I can see what the titles are. Advanced 21 elite 19 world record 14. Fuck it, A. So... 19 world record 14 fucking a so Gert your 50

So intermediate would be 20 would be 20 what is that? 26 25 36 25 36 advanced to be 22 All right, so let's do this. I got to beat intermediate. Intermediate is a good goal. What's 25 divided by three? Oh, it's like eight minute miles. Yeah. Eight minute 33.

So I can do it. You do it. Yeah, I can do it. All right, I can do it. I'm going to run sub sub 25 minute. Yeah, I can do it. All right, I can do it. I'm gonna run sub, sub 25 minute. Fuck, that's hard. That's hard. How about sub 26?

Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's. I'm gonna run a sub 26 5K. I'm gonna run sub 26 5K and then what are you gonna run? Go back to the thing. Do we get Michelle Wolf out here? So my intermediate would be 24 38. That's really fast. That's eight and change though. It's like same basically. Jesus. I mean, you can train like that's the thing is you have fucking five months to train. You could get as you know, if you actually put the training in, you can do it.

Yeah, yeah. We can train for this. It's gonna be great. We're gonna have so much fun and think of the party afterwards. I can throw a fucking party. I can throw a fucking party. What city are we gonna do this in? We should do it downhill. We're most of our fans. We should be going to them and organize it there. Should we have them come to here? You can pick any city and do this. You could probably do it here. Downtown, they would close stuff off.

If it's kind of hell here. Downtown's flat. You want it to be flat, dude. All right, we'll figure out a place. But there's a lot that goes into this like what I can organize We're not gonna be in charge of that part. Yeah, we are no we just pick a 5k No, no, I'm saying like We can work with somebody to be like okay, you make this happen. We're not gonna be making the phone calls to work with someone to make it happen

We'll have it and Tom and I are gonna run sub 26 5k. That'd be the goal. Tom and I are gonna run sub 26 5k. For every second we don't get over 5k. Over 26. So anything over 26. We got donated a thousand dollars. Okay.

I know you but that's gonna make you run a fucking 23. We got donated $1,000. Ooh, okay. I know, but that's gonna make you run a fucking 23. You're gonna be like, fuck these charities. I ran a 20, they give me money. Let's see if we can get Michelle Wolff to do it. You think she'll do it? Yeah, fuck yeah. This is so insane. It's an aggressive face time.

It's so aggressive. It's really aggressive face thought. It's so aggressive. It's really such an aggressive move. No answer from Michelle Wolfe. This is time to trash her online, everybody. Does uh, does who else besides her though? There's got to be a couple other, who else is a runner that we, like in comedy? Anybody else do that?

It's like... Eddie is heard. Erd is I think Kristen is heard. I've fucked up. Chris is Shawl. Kristen Shawls are on her. She's funny. Talking running on two bears, FaceTime me. Is that Michelle? Yeah.

Yeah, she's like, the fuck are you FaceTime it before? I just want to let you know I'm at 19. She's right now currently. I think she's at 1,992 miles. Oh, I thought you'd be saying 19 minutes for the five guys. Like, oh my god. No. Um, Michelle Wolf, baby.

Yeah. What's that? What if I was running right now? I thought. Hey, I'm sitting here with Tommy. Hi Michelle. Hey, how are you? Good. How you doing? Hey, great job.

Great job on the daily show. Thanks. Fantastic new special Michelle. Thank you. Are you guys? What's going on? We're talking running. Where are you right now? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa?

¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué pasa? This on the street. And how do I go? And I go there. And I go to the neighborhood. See me.

Yes. It's my mouth. Yes. And you're OK. I'm not. Hey, would you? Hey, we're doing a two-bearers 5K in May. And we want you to be a part of it.

Cam Haines is going to do it. Tom and I are going to rub Sun Run sub 26 minute 5Ks. All right. And we want you to be a part of it. Cam Haines is going to do it. Tom and I are going to rub Sunrun sub 26 minute 5Ks. All right. And we want you to be a part of it. What do you think you can run a 5K in? Oh my gosh. I think I could do like 24, 25. Great. Nice. Nice. Anytime that any of us get over that amount, we donate a hundred grand to a charity. You're cool. You're in, right? I think you guys make more money than me. No, but we would love for you to do it.

We would love for you to do it. Do you think you could be in the States and May? Yeah, I was planning to be there for some shows. Anyway, so let me know the dates and we can, uh, we can do it. You think you could be in the States in May? Yeah, I was planning to be there for some shows. Anyway, so let me know the dates and we can, uh, we can coordinate it. You doing an L.A. We don't know where we're going to do it yet. We're probably trying to pick the city. We're trying to pick city. We're just organizing it now, but we're trying to activate people for new years to get ready for a 5k.

Are you awesome? Are you in Jerusalem? I a Jerusalem runner? I'm a long runner. I'm not a fast runner, but I should get my shit together for a five pay. Fuck, yes. Nice. Fuck, yes. Hey, congratulations on everything. Congrats, Michelle.

Thanks, yeah, I'm still trying to get back into running, you know, like post-baby. You can see a lot more. Everyone should know that. Yes, oh. I shit my feel a lot more. Everyone should know that. Yes. Oh, I shit my pants a lot. Oh, you know what? We're all struggling

in our own ways. Well, go enjoy your up. Enjoy Santa Bar, wherever the fuck you are. You should line the whole route with a port of potty. We're gonna have a big party afterwards. We're gonna get fucking wasted afterwards. We're gonna get fucking wasted afterwards Right that sounds awesome. Okay, I can't wait for this. I'm I love this idea. Let's do it awesome awesome awesome

All right, love you Michelle take care. Enjoy the baby. All right. Thank you, Michelle Now okay, here's the thing Yes, this is what we got to think about okay,. Okay, we just brought in two people that are game because it is their background. So the real thing right now, who can we convert to commit that is not ready for this? Ladies and gentlemen, speed dial. There's got to be somebody who we're like,

you need this, basically. We want to help you. Let's see if they answer. Oh boy. This is not a FaceTime answer. No? No. I can't see who it is.

Hello. Shane Gillis. What's up, Shane? Hey, we're on two bears, one cave with Tommy. How you doing, man? What are you? What are we staring at? What is this? He's oh shit. You're the face time. Yeah It's so aggressive. It's birds. I like it. It's timing

Can you see me now? No. No. I mean Shane is fucking boomer. What? He doesn't have this work. I mean my I mean my car connected to my fucking. Oh, that's why that's why that's why we just need your voice. Hey Shane Tom and I are organizing a five K for May. No, no. Oh, fucking no. That's exactly what we needed.

Shane, Shane, please for every. Shane, Shane, Shane, let's, let's's train together for it here oh yeah for sure come on yeah what are you fucking talking about we'll just we'll just start with a mile and we'll just progress for what three days a week. You think I'm gonna go running three days a week? Yes. Why? Give me your address. I'll come over. You're gonna come over and we're gonna run together? Yeah for like a mile. It'll be fine. I'll be over in six minutes. Okay but yeah, true. I'll quit. Why? What's the point of this? So Michelle Wolveson, Cam Haines is in,

Tom and I are activating our fans, so we're all going to get healthy this year, and we're going to run a 5K in May. We got you got plenty of time to train, and Tom and I are setting records for ourselves. And there's a beer drinking contest at the end. It's a huge party at the end. We're throwing a huge party at the end. It's going to be fucking wild. We're FaceTime and Rogan in a second. And there's a huge party at the end. We're throwing a huge party at the end. It's gonna be fucking wild. We're face time and rogan in a second. You know he's doing it. Bert said you were a bitch.

You can't really drink that much. And I was like, let's see what he says. I look. Yeah, yeah, you guys, I'm definitely in. Shane, Shane, commit to it. At least listen, commit to it. And I'm telling you you it'll be so fucking fun we'll have a fucking blast you can walk and talk to all the fat

chicks and then and then get done and we'll have a fucking huge party at the end. Yeah Shane just say yes just say yes yes you're Yes, text me your address. All right, Shane Gilles is in everybody. I mean, there's no shot, but all right. Yeah. All right, Shane Gilles, we've got a soft commit from Shane Gilles. Change in everybody. All right. All right. We love you, Shane. I'll talk to you later. I love you. Fuck you guys. Alright. Alright, we got Shane Gillison. That's such a knock, come here. Dude, he'll be in.

We get, it's gonna be a huge fucking event. And everyone, you get to meet your favorite comics, you get to run next to them, ask Shane all the questions. You get to ask him. You get to beat them. We're gonna have, we're gonna sell shirts saying, I beat Shane Gillison of 5K. There, it's happening. It's happening. We're gonna say, I beat gonna sell shirts saying, I beat Shane Gillis in a 5K. There, it's happened.

It's happening. You're gonna, we're gonna say, I beat Tom Scroo's shirts, I beat Bert Christ's shirts, I beat Shane Gillis, and then there's gonna be, Cam Hayne was, what my ass? Does Norman run? I'm always, he seems like, well, he's, I know he does push ups and pull ups every day,

like a loo-y sneaky, you know what he did backstage one time, it was me and a bunch of pro athletes. He told me his thing and I was like, what the fuck? He said he knocks out, did he do like 50 pull-ups in a row? Yeah, and he does pushups, like I'm fully loaded. He does pushups where his feet are on the cooler.

Like he'll do pushups, he'll then get off his hands, throw his feet on the cooler, and start going knees to elbow. Doing those. it's impressive. But does he run? We're about to find out. We should have more technology than just this. I think we could probably set this up if you gave us a heads up.

Right. What's the beauty of this show? I love that right now, fans are going, I'm fucking doing it. There he is. Mark Norman, everybody, you're on two bears, one cave, it's time for are going, I'm fucking doing it. There he is. Mark Norman, everybody. You're on two bears one. K, but Tom's gonna remember. Christ. Praise a lot. What's up, you homo? Hey, we're organizing an event this May. We're doing a 5K. Shane Gillis is in Michelle Wolf is in. Cam Haines is in. And Tom and I are doing it. There's going to be a huge party afterwards. We

want to know, do we have a hard commit from Mark Norman? Uh, wait a minute, Shane Gillis is gonna run. I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run. It was, I'll be honest, it was a bit of a hard sell, but he gave us, he gave us a, you know, half-ass commit, but we figured like, well, Norman. He takes care of himself Yeah, how many push-ups can you do in a row?

All right Okay, all right you're in will you do it Mark? Okay, he's in in. He's in. He's in. We got a hard commit. All right, Mark. I love you. I'll talk to you later. Tim is going to be like, go fuck yourself. Should I call him? You call him. Okay. Face time. Face time. You have a hell answer. Your face time. Well, things don't emergency. Actually, he probably will be like, what the fuck are you doing? Tim Dylan, Face time be able to answer your face time. Well, thanks an emergency Tim Dylan Mark Norman

Shane Gillis camhain He's there's no way Michelle wolf awake, right? I actually don't know where and he has like seven homes There's a I'm chances are he's not awake He's gonna be made all by another house for a habitat of humanity if he's in a gym No, no, no, no, it's just joking. Should I face time? I'll buy another house for Habitat Humanity if he's in a gym. No, no, no, no, it's just joking. Should I FaceTime him? FaceTime him. That's how you did. By the way, this is so uncomfortable for me. Just FaceTime him and face it to me. Yeah, this will turn him on.

He's definitely answering your FaceTime. I don't think so. Yeah, he will. I'd never- You're a different face time than me. My face time's like, oh fuck, he's been, he's still up. I got a hammer on my face time. If he doesn't answer. He's not gonna, he's not gonna answer.

He thinks it's an a-style from you. Don't worry. Got Tim Dylan on speed dial. All right. Steak house. Beef steak Tim. Beef steak, that's what you haven't saved us. Yeah. Which new number do you have? Superget Potter. Let's call Potter. Putting another sin. Maybe I gotta get off the sins before I start running. Why?

I ran with one in. Oh, for real? Yeah. Tim Dylan, it's Bert Chrysler and Thompson Garouon, two bears one cave. Hi guys, how are you? We are fantastic. Hey, what the fuck, man? What?

I just called you. Oh, I didn't see that you called me. My phone's in my pocket. I'm sorry, I would have picked up. I thought you would have picked up mine over fucking birds. I would have picked up both of yours. Anytime I see a white successful person, I'm on that dream. I'll leave. Hey,, I'm on that dream. All right.

All right. Hey, bird has a question for you. Hey, Tim. Yes, bird. Hey, Tim. Tom and I are organizing a 5K in May. We have Shane Gillis in, Mark Norman in, Michelle Wolf in, Cam Haines in.

Tom and I are doing it and we're setting a pace at 26 minutes for us. Every second we go over, we're donating in thousand. I'll do it. I'll do we have to. May. You have to make him. Yeah. I'll do it. Fuck yes. Tim Dylan's in, baby. Tim, you start. What is his for? Is it a benefit or something? Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It's three, start three days a week. Just start start walking, then you paste it up.

Yeah, yeah, but it's it'll be in May. We haven't picked the city yet. We'll pick a good city, and then we're gonna throw a big party at the end. Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, baby. Tim Dylan's in. Tim Dylan's in.

Tim Dylan's in. Tim, you are the fucking goat. You are the best. For sure. Hey. All right guys. Thank you very much Hey, I'm gonna I'm in town next week. I want to go have stakes Let me know okay. I love you Tim. All right Fuckin hey, who else do we want? Who else do we want Tommy who else do we want, Tommy?

Who else do we want? I mean, the sky's the fucking limit. Yeah, that's true. Everyone, everyone that we've asked has committed. You know who could also, big guy could use a motivation like this. Fluffy. Fluffy, Stavvy.

Stavvy, Stavisen, Stavisen. I think so. See if he answers your FaceTime message. I actually don't think he will. If that's what he's gonna do. Special out on Netflix, everybody. Stavvy, Stavisen, you know Stavisen. I think everybody that I FaceTime's like,

there's no way there's no real Stavisen. God damn it. This is gonna be so much fucking fun. Take your fat pictures now. Take them right now. Eat like a fucking lunatic. By the way, when he doesn't answer, you call him right back and he's gonna answer.

I got another one. All right, well, this time, stop it. Okay, come on, stop it. Stop it, baby, stop it, baby. And you know, this is just us preliminary calling people. Imagine when we go deep, this is gonna be the funnest fucking 5K anyone's ever been to. What if we change 5Ks?

What if this is our new future? We just put on 5Ks. What if through Standup shows? What if we can, what if we, when mine's we'll do a stand-up show that night We've got the best comics in the fucking world. Actually, that's Probably a good idea. Yeah Here's I don't think he's gonna answer. Oh, I know he's not up, but look doing two bears with Tom FaceTime me look

It's not even worth FaceTimeing, right? Like he's not gonna answer. Should I do it anyway? Yeah. There's zero percent chance. Zero point zero percent chance. Zero percent chance. But it's just, this way he'll see, he'll be like the fuck. You just kind of invite him sometimes

guys, stop. He's calling back hang up on the Starros What's up, buddy? We're on two bears one cave. Hey listen. Oh, how yeah, I know you I know you better than anyone knows you Stavvy. I know you Intimately, I don't even have to ask this question, but I'm gonna ask for formality Okay, in May Tom and I are putting on a 5k Tim Dylan Tim Dylan Norman, Shane Gillis, Cam Haynes, and Michelle Wolfe for all committed

Stavros. Do we have a firm commit for you to start training right now for a 5K and May? I don't know about right now, a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, but it's in May. It's in May. It's in May. It's in May, Stav, You have time to get ready for it. You know what?

This is good. This is good because I was telling Tom to what I did when I was when I was in that chair. I I want to I want to get back into zone. I'm going to be healthy. So fucking I'm in. Yeah, maybe stop. He said I knew it. I fucking knew it.

Stavvy. We're going to throw a huge fucking party afterwards. It's going to be a fucking blast. I'm so glad you, I knew I could believe in you. This is why you are the best comic in the country. Congrats on the new special. Congrats on the special, Stavie. He's cutting out.

He could be on something's burning. Yes. But I'm gonna fucking leave L.A. Let's talk about your back. But I can't wait. All right, Stavie. Yeah, Stavos is in. Stavos. Let's fuck off your back. But I can't wait. All right, stop. Yeah, stop.

Oh, so's it. All right, have a safe flight. I love you. Love you too, guys. All right, see you, bro. Fuck yeah. This is a fucking bangers list. This is good.

This is a bangers list. This guy is there's no way. Should try to get tried again. I mean, here's the thing. It's not even registering on his, and also, is there any chance to convince him? He's gonna be the hardest know of all. If you get it to be a video game that he played?

Yeah, right now it's 9.50. There's not a chance in hell. No, I bet his phone's on him in his room. He's in REM sleep right now. He just went to bed. Yeah, like an hour ago. Yeah, there's just no point. Why does anyone want to answer your face time? I don't know. Ask the staff. I would answer your face time. Time. Thank you. Yeah, he pays you. Well, you have to answer his face now. He doesn't. True, but I would even if he didn't. It would be a scary call to you. It would be. I would think I was getting fired, but I mean, we've got, we've got the biggest names in comedy and the biggest people

to follow online that will be fun watching them train for the 5K all taggable tag everyone we've mentioned when you post your, your before picture right now. You know, by the way, you know what, Christina would say if I asked her to this? Oh, fuck off. You're here. Liam would say the same thing, I don't run.

I don't run. I had run when I was a little growing and running no more. Yeah. I don't take cold showers, I don't sleep at snakes, and I don't run. Who else? Who else? I know there's gotta be someone forgetting,

someone who this, we're jump starting the best year of their lives. Who do you guys think, are you guys thinking of anyone? We might not be blanking. Do you wanna call Rogan? Not to me. My face time. No.

My face time's aggressive. Rogan would be great, but then once you, I mean, listen, as a friend, I wanna invite him, but once you invite him, it becomes Joe. Yeah, that's the thing. You're like, I don't want Joe to have to feel like the pressure that he has to show up. Did Joe show up fucking everyone shows up?

It puts too much pressure on him. I'll tell you what, we will text him. I want him to be there, because he's, I love Joe. It's better that he's like a surprise. He's a surprise guest. And, and he, because if you make it, if you make it him, if we do it right now, then all of a sudden, we won't be able to manage this 5K.

Like there's no, like right now the names we have are big, but they're not like Rogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you want to know what, we need a black comic. How's that to say? The same thing. Yeah. You know the big ones, Dave, Dave Chappelle? He doesn you want to go with that one? We need a black comic. That's about to say the same thing. Yeah, yeah. You know the big ones, Dave, Dave Chappelle?

He doesn't want to do a five, okay. He smokes like three packs a day. He's in great shape. Okay. Brian Simpson? Is it an aggressive FaceTime? That's an aggressive FaceTime. To FaceTime Chappelle?

Yeah. You're gonna FaceTime him? Yeah. I've only face them? Yeah. I've only talked to him once. I mean, what's the worst you have? My tummy's a pocket dial. Why do I have him saved under? I don't gave you back.'re about to go for it.

Holy shit. She's about to go, it's going to be fucking huge and the party's going to be fucking insane. Hey man. Anybody got to say where it? You love him, shall we? Yeah. I don't think he's gonna answer my FaceTime. He's probably going, who's fucking number is this?

This is the wrong face. He's probably just like, somebody get me a new phone. I said, it's holding him on the FaceTime at first. Yeah, and that you're on a podcast doing it, hang up dude. Yeah, this is a bad idea. This is a bad idea.

And I'm on a podcast. Hey, Dave, you're just a spokesman of a generation. Can you build quick hop on our podcast? You're not gonna like that. That was a big mistake. That was a big mistake. All right, since Chris Rock, do Chris Rock. No way.

I did Dave should be able to do Chris Rock. I did Dave should be able to do Chris Rock. Do Chris Rock. I did Dave should be able to do Chris Rock. No, he will fucking. Do Chris Rock. No, he would hate. Do Chris Rock, I'll give me the Face Rock. No, he will fucking do Chris Rock. No, he would hate to. Do Chris Rock, I'll give me the FaceTime.

No way, dude. Give me his number off FaceTime. Mm-mm. No, too much respect. No, no, fuck off, I just did Dave Chimpell. You have to do Chris Rock. Where's your mistake? You have to do Chris Rock.

I just did Dave Chimpell. Huge mistake that you did that. I know. Do Chris Rock, do Chris Rock. Everyone watching this is going Tom, do Chris Rock. If Tom, you all, you're failures. Can I tell you something? Okay.

First of all, it would end my relationship. Okay. Would you be like, hair, do you talk to him? No, I don't want him to like fucking, no. What? Okay. Chris Rock's no longer your buddy. What happens to your life?

I mean, you still have me. Do you have Kevin Hart's number? If you have Kevin Hart's number, you have to face time right now. Or give me his number and I'll face time. Here's the thing. I'll face time Kevin Hart right now. No, that would be, that's a fun one to do for it.

I don't have Kevin Hart's number. Bullshit, you don't have Kevin Hart's number. I love it, okay. Oh fucking shit. I don't have Kevin Hart's number. Bullshit, get me Kevin Hart's number. Get me Kevin Hart's number. You're right, I know, I know who has it. Who? Okay, let me, let fucking shit. I don't have Kevin Hart's number. Yeah, give me Kevin Hart's number. Get me Kevin Hart's number here. I know I know who has it. Who? Okay, let me let me ask out here For sure this guy has it

Kevin Hart's in Kevin Hart's a runner too Dave she pal facetimes me back. I'm gonna fucking shit my pants Okay, I thought that was my phone. No Let's just see if If we can get it. Okay, I'll face time coming hard. I don't care. Okay. I'll do it If we can get it, I think that this person's also gonna be like are you crazy? No one's answering my face times.

Yeah, what the fuck, dude? You need to reassess. Oh, here we go. Hey, what's up, man? God, you look sharp. We're on a two bears one cave right now. Who's that? Asian jeans.

Oh, yes. Yes. Hey, so we're organizing a five K in May, okay? Yeah, let's talk about it. So we're organizing a 5K in May. Okay. Yeah, let's talk about it. Yeah, so we have some great commitments right now. Michelle Wolfe is in, Tim Dylan is in, Mark Norman's in, Shane, who else? Shane Gillis.

Stop roast. And we were wondering, do you think it's a good idea? No, no, no, no, no, you don't ask him, you tell him. Okay. Do you think it's a good idea? No, no, no, no, no, no, you don't ask him, you tell him. Okay, we need to call... Because we know that he loves running and everything, Kevin Hart. Yeah, we can ask him Hart's number, yes. Okay, awesome. Okay, great.

You go ahead and... Text it over. Ask the Pentagon, and then if you don't mind sending it over, you know, we would appreciate it. Zach, do you want to participate? Would you like to run the 5K? Yeah, I want to run the 5K. All right.

Agents are in. Agents are in. We haven't picked the city yet, but we're going to have a big party afterwards. It'll be a fun time. Okay, all right, please send over Kevin Hart's number when you get a chance. Okay, we have to FaceTime. Louie. All right, we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thanks buddy. Bye.

You want me to FaceTime Louie? Sure. Actually, he runs. He likes to run. He guys. Bye. You want me to face, I'm late? Sure. Actually, he runs. He likes to run. He likes to run. I also feel like you should text him first. Nope. How do you spell Louis?

It's not Louis Anderson. Louis CK. Let's see, Kay. Let's see, Kay. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I think he would answer if you texted him. No. Okay. That's not how a FaceTime... Well, he sent it to a voicemail. Yeah. He sent that to voicemail. You want to text him now? Yeah.

Okay. Hey brother, I'm doing a podcast with Tom. FaceTime me if you have a chance. That's not happening. He's going to be like, what? It's like, here's the thing. I think when I was younger, I mean, with like, here's the thing, it's like, I think when I was younger, I mean,

this with respect, it would have been a scarier thing to do. By no, Louis, like I know him enough that we'll see if this text comes back. I know him enough to not, he knows that I'm the kind of guy that facetimes. He's probably with his kids or something doing something like a real person does. Here's a, can I tell you the big upside of this whole thing? Please.

This is a great way to start the New Year for everybody. This is a great dude. It's a great art. So go everybody listening or watching, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, it's gonna be, we got, this is gonna be fucking huge. And we have anyone, by the way, we have soft commits from Chipel Louis. Did you get Kevin Hart's number? I get, I'm waiting, wait a few minutes. Louis radio silence. I'm watching, waiting for that bubble to come up

with the dot, dot, dot. I don't think he's into this. You don't think Louis would be- I think he would into it. I don't think he's into this. You don't think Louis I think he would into into it. I don't think he's into like face timing. I don't know where yeah Yeah, I think that's very much like he's like um Yeah, but he's I think he's face time me out of nowhere really. Yeah, face time. Oh, no, he face time you Every time I've talked to him. He texts me first. He goes, hey, you're right. You have a minute.

I got a text, two of a minute to talk. Why FaceTime and then texted him? That's exactly what I suggested. Yeah, I should have done that first. And then also you're like, hitting me back on FaceTime if you have a second. It's like, he's probably like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Louis, you'll be a legend if you FaceTime, you're right. Well, you're already a legend. Yeah. I guess you don't need this to make just cement your place in comedy history. Wow. That guy's still a guy that called into two bears when cave on a FaceTime.

Wow. That's Louis C.K. Legendary. Did you get Kevin Harston number? Do you just ask me? No. What the fuck's he doing? He's dragging us.

Kevin. He's probably asking right now. He's probably asking somebody else, Do you think Kevin will get very mad if I have sent this text? No FaceTime from Louis. No. I suspect that there's no FaceTime coming in. He's changed. He's not like us anymore.

He's big time. All right. So we FaceTime should probably FaceTime Louis. We're waiting on heart. Someone terrified of Chris rock. I bet Chris rock would do it. Actually, I take that back. I don't think he didn't seem like a runner. I don't think so. Well, we got a great list already. Yeah. And especially if we put on a standup show, Kevin and those guys kind of make it a little more difficult. So they're gonna be like, hey, I got one. What? Bargazze?

On the FaceTime, you can FaceTime him. You might also be like, I should definitely put on glasses. Those two runs? He seems like he takes care of himself. No, no, no, no, he's like, I don't think he plays golf. I know that.

I think that's it. That's it? I don't think he, whoa, you can always find out. Face, oh, fuck him. Are you gonna tell him that Chappelle in Harderin? Yeah. Okay.

Hey man, Chappelle in Harder doing this thing with us? Nate Bargazzi's gotta be on the golf course right now. For sure. Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon. Oh, we should get them. Oh, let's hope he's with his fucking fucking. Oh, he's, he said he's on an abortion protest. Hmm. God damn it. What about machine gun Kelly? I don't get him. I don't have his number.

If I haven't faced him, I thought he reached out to you. Yeah, you know how that works. Yeah. Oh, there was somebody else. Yeah, right. Yeah. Secret time, I'm not the guy that FaceTime's or that nowhere from Louis K. Oh, well, it can't be worse than when I met him. When you met Louis.

Oh yeah, he didn't like me then. He started like me. I think he liked me to get to you. I think he likes you better than he likes me. You should face that, Louis. No, I think we already established. Do we have Kevin Hart's number? Kevin Hart is our white whale.

Okay, hold on. His schedule's probably with that kev heart. The best part is the time, the next time I run into Louis, Orchipel, I'll be wasted. And I'll be like,

I'm just an astyle. Oh, not with Louis. Now, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Can I ask be like, I was an astile. We're not with Louis, I just- Now here's the thing, here's the thing, can I ask you this? Let's say this Kevin Hart number comes in right now. Okay. Let's think about this. Okay. Just a facetime could go that way.

Do I text them first? Hey, Kev, Tom Sigura. I'm sitting with Bert Kreischer. We're doing this thing. Can I face, I think- This might be the way we- I think there's a higher probability. I think we learned the rough way

that just face timing these celebrities isn't the best way to go about. Because they're just gonna be like, I mean, you're different, but most people, if you see a face time coming in for it, if you don't know, you don't answer it. Or if you don't know the number, you don't answer it. You might.

I would. I don't see who it is. It's like a present. Where you're like, oh, sweet. I wonder who this is from. Oh, I got said. I don't see who it is. It's like a present where you're like, oh, sweet. I wonder who this is from. Oh, I got it. Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Bert Kreisler as Tom Scura and we are FaceTiming Kevin Hart.

Okay, tax first. Taxing him first. Okay, let's work on this tax. Let's work on it. Hey, Kev. Kev, you're going Kev? Kev, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, he's a brother. Yo, hey, big Kev. What's up're going Kev? Kev, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, he's a brother. Yo, hey, big Kev. Big Kev. What's up, big Kev? What's up? What, what, what, what, Cous? Go, hey, what's up, Cous? What it do?

What it do, Kev? What it do, Kev? This is Tom Segura. I'm with, Bert. It's gonna be a used Bert or something. Just go and Bert. Okay. And I know the guy. Bert's the one he used Bert or when he used to go in Bert. Okay, I'm in and I know the guy.

What if he fries her? I am. Yeah, but I'm with Bert. I'm with Bert. We're doing. We're doing a podcast. We're doing a podcast. And should I say what we're doing? Like we're or because he's he's he's he loves the run.

He's a super active dude. Yeah, should I say we're podcast and we're doing, like we're, cause he's, he loves the run, he's a super active dude. Yeah. Should I say we're podcast and we're organizing a 5K. Can I face, I don't know. I mean, I feel like we're giving them all the information to say no to. And we're doing a podcast, can I face time you? Fuck man.

Sounds aggressive. It does. Tell me just got a shower. Hey, Kav, okay, let's just say like I was gonna say to you right now a shower. Hey, Kav. Okay, let's just say like I was gonna say to you right now. Okay. Hey, Kav, it's per-criser and Tom's Gura. We're doing a podcast and we'd love to FaceTime me real quick.

We're gonna podcast. All right, I'll just, this would be the end of my relationship with him, but yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. And we'd love to FaceTime me real quick. Yeah. Proving not a bitch.

Come on, Kev, come on, Kev. Loot me in on my text. And we love the FaceTime you real quick. Nothing crazy. What's the vote from the booth? Is that work? Things pretty solid. Nothing crazy.

Is that what you think? What's the wording again? What it do, little cat. It's, it's what, hey, Kevin's time to go out. I'm with Bert Crasher. We're doing a podcast. We love to FaceTime me real quick. Straight to the point.

Yeah, that sounds, Straight to the point. I love it. I love it. You think so? I know reaction. But I mean, that's two or three. That's all you need. What is your thinking? I think, I think two or three is good. It's majority or three. That's all you need.

What is your thinking? I think two or three is good. It's majority. I think, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, you speak his language. How would you like it, Britain? Yeah.

I don't know. I think I'm more in line with your thoughts. They're like, man, I really don't want to burn. You know, I don't want to. Oh yeah. There is the angle of this. So, go what? As it by over thinks you.

So, they probably right. I there is the angle of this. Hey, Kev, it's Dwayne, new phone, FaceTime me real quick. Is Dwayne? No, Dwayne, Iraq. I was thinking of just like another athlete. Just just don't over think it, just send it. Just send that one?

Just send it. All right. Speaking of the way, what about the way? No. You keep bringing the rocks and everyone's gonna, it's about the rock. What about Kevin Hart? Kevin Hart, yeah, but we already needy pin this.

All right, I'm sending it. Just for send. All right, this is the end. I'll never talk to Kevin Hart again. All right. I'd send it just to send all right. This is the end. I'll never talk to Kevin hard again I sent I sent it sent You should write that FYI you win me $10,000 if you face time me You might do it like that. Come on, come on, Kevin Hart. That's what I have the new Audemars P.K. Royal Oak that Travis put out, would you like it?

Who, what? Nothing. Nothing. Okay. He likes. Oh. This is crazy. Is this what it's like texting chicks? I think so. Oh, it's terrifying. I know. This is terrifying. I actually, this is, that was more nerve-wracking

than like texting a chick I'm so glad I'm out of the game What if he's just right spike fuck you bitch, don't know what if he's like Don't recognize the names. Yeah, don't know the names. Don't care blocked. We are sitting here enjoying the new Kevin Hart cereal Is that what you're writing? He has fucking like 100 products. This is the most nerve-racking. This is what it's like being drunk to a Lucy K. Just texted me. What do you say? I can't my friend. Who's Tom? Oh, Segura.

Ladies and gentlemen, what? Louis fucking see you. Okay. You're a fucking legend, Louis. You're a fucking legend. You're a fucking legend, Louis. Hey, you're on the podcast with me and Tom right now. What's up, Louis? I wasn't going to call, I wasn't going to call back. I just wrote to I can't Yeah, which is a lie. I just don't feel like Fucking told you by the way, I really ran over in my head like who would why does he say just Tom like I know who that is Like Tom who I realized oh fucking Sakura obviously so now I have to call it because I feel terrible

Why am I looking at a light? I can't see the camera the camera is showing you to the camera of your face. That's all oh Yeah, let me see but then I don't get to see Tom Sigoura here. Hey, what's up? Dude, do you have AIDS what's happening you I actually I am HIV positive Yeah, that that parlay is perfectly into our question Louis I actually, I am HIV positive. You're so little. Yeah. That parlay is perfectly into our question, Louis. Okay. Okay. So we know that you're me handle this.

Okay. Louis, we're talking about getting in shape. Tom said you're looking good that you've been running a lot lately. You're active. I always, you like boxing. You like boxing. You like running. I've seen you go on runs.

I know you like to box. We are organizing a 5K in May and we have a bunch of comics who have committed to doing it We haven't picked our city yet, but we want to do a 5k have a party at the end and we would love if you would join us I would say not in a million years not in a million years Not even in a million years in the past. Why? Wait, wait, wait, wait, even around the Renaissance? No, I wouldn't do it in the Renaissance. I go a million years back and all that you can think

of as the Renaissance. That's like a few thousand. I wouldn't know. I can't. It cut. What's that, Louis? I'm 56 years old. Yeah.

It's three miles. And I can run three miles. That's it. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's fly you private. Oh, I love the comedians think that flying private is like that's, that's it, man, I'm convinced. Actually, we won't. We will send a horse, but do you, but you still run your active. Tell me, tell me again what it is because the phone kept crack

on it. It's just, it's just three miles. It's three miles. It's it's an it's an organized event a bunch of friends people come out Stop rowing. Gilus Mark Norman. We have Michelle Wolf Cameron Haynes is gonna do it Tom and I are doing it and we're finding we've reaching out to black people So it's like it'll be other people will be there like diverse, but it'll be right But we so but we get you get a staggered start like wait, like we start like 10 minutes before the black people. Yeah, yeah, of course. No, there's a they have a whole different starting line, but thank you.

Thank you. Just like with white privilege. So this is this is so this is watch bird die. Yeah, Louis. Yes, don't you want to be there to watch bird die? Be it birds death. Yes Be a first responder And you could practice that your CPR stuff do you Would you there's no way you would do the three miles?

Well, I'll tell you I haven't I'm very not in good shape I drove I broke three ribs like three months ago and I've been let myself go a little bit because of that They'll be fully healed by man Motivator Louie and a soft commit could be the right thing to get you on this journey. I've got my knees are not in great shape I haven't been running much late later i've been walking like a mother fucker i go on long like two hour plus hikes with my dog

uh... that's how you need that but the but the blunt force drama of running on the needs is a little much for me right now shane gillus is doing it louis you see she is a very young man. So he can he has repair. He can hurt his body, which is bad. By the way, bad for him. It's why he'll never he won't quit drinking till it kills him, because he is bounce.

He is bounce. Yeah. But don't you want to see him die? I, well, I, I, I broke my ribs in September, and they haven't healed because I'm old. So any damage I do to my body now will carry to the end of my days. Okay. All we need is a soft commit and then and then just play it by ear, Louis. Louis power walk it.

When is it in May? We haven't picked the day in May. We can make it very easy for you. Okay, so I'm going to say that I'm going to I'm going to tell you I'm going to do it. And then I'm definitely not going to do it. That's all we need is that we need it. And we're going to tell people that you're in. We're talking about. I will attach myself to that project and promise you and guarantee you that I will not be there. That's why it's going to be so great when you show that's cool.

You're on the bill. We'll put you on the bill. Yeah, I am not doing that, but it's a great idea. All right. All right. It's for charity. It's for like, it's nice to talk to you guys. I'll just like to express that. Tom, it's good to see you. It's good to see you, man. Bill, I mean, Bill. Bill. Lance Blair. My hot, the banana. Well, you, but you're in to commit to the donation part, right? For the charity. Don't say there's no donations. There's nothing. You want my money?

No, yeah, yeah. There's no donation, Luis. We're doing this. Just a soft commit, play it by ear. We'll reach out to everybody now and then see how you journey is. What charity? Yeah, it's just a, it's a Jews, just all of them. They get a, we just give them money.

So it's like reparations for Jews? Yeah, exactly, yeah. That's what it is. It's weird when they do like 10 Ks to raise money because like people come up to you and they go, I'm gonna do this race where you give me money for the charity and I give them the money. It's like, why are you running though? That's not, nobody need me to fucking run. Yeah, you don't

need to for sure. No. Um, all right. Uh, it's a hard hard pass for me, but uh, soft commit hard pass. Yeah, those are sort of mean the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Soft comment hard pass. What's the question mark on your name on the flyer? Yeah. A bird. I love you and Tom, I love you. I feel real love for both of you guys. I don't know either of you that well, but I feel a lot of affection and care. We love you, man. We love you. The last you've given me and I hope that you think of me and me because I probably won't live that long. But hey, thank you for facing us.

Yeah, thank you very much. I just take care guys. I love you Louie. I love you Louie. I love you Louie. Bye bye. I mean, could this have gone better? It can't.

No. No. No. No. No. You know what he wrote? What? No. Oh for real?

Yeah. He wrote no. No. He wrote no? No. Right back please. No. Just do it.

A no is a fucking pretty... He didn't write like no buddy? Nope. And oh. Just kidding. He didn't write like, no buddy. Nope. And oh, just kidding. He didn't write that. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You just tried face timing right now.

Fuck no. That's how it works. That's how it works. Look, hold on. I rolled the dice on Louis. I know. And you saw the smile. Do you know why you saw the smile?

Hold on. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Everyone wants to be included. Everyone wants to feel like they have friends. Everyone wants love. Everyone wants love. Can I make another point though? Please.

Louie actually knows us. When he actually saw us, he was like, it's good to see you guys. Kevin Hart will be like, who the fuck? And why? She's FaceTime Kevin Hart. FaceTime Kevin Hart. FaceTime Kevin Hart. He's got in the text. He's gotTime Kevin Hart. He's got the text.

He's got the text. He's got the text. He's got the text. And he knows the text has the question. I'm actually just being like, is this okay to do? To just do it after without a response is insane and I am not doing that. Fat Tom would have done it.

Maybe. My heart is so full of joy right now. It's gonna be good to see K FaceTime does. It was fun. And that was have done it. Maybe. My heart is so full with joy right now. It's gonna be good time. It's gonna be good time. It was fun. And that was fucking great. It was. Give Kevin Hart the chance to be relatable.

Give the fuck at him the chance. Guys, give me your phone. Give me your phone. And then you will not be responsible. You will not be responsible. Just give me your phone. I'll face time him. I'll face time him.

And I'll be like, fuck, I stole some phone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Love you guys, love you, Bert. Thank you for watching. We cannot wait to make sure to post those pictures of you in your before. It is New Year's Eve, it is New Year's Day, you.

Actually, yes, and then we know what we should do. What? We should, this comes out that day, in the days around this, post that carousel, you know, like a 100% of your absolute worst photos. You will just see the fattest pictures of me. I have, I'm not sure what you want today that is just, but I have multiples that are just horrific.

And I will send you all of them. I'll post all of them. I love it. Yeah. I love it. This is so fun. This is a great podcast. Don't let us forget that, please, to post those.

Gotcha. And by the way, the list of people running this 5K will grow. It's gonna grow. It's just gonna be the comics you love. We're gonna all be out there. It'll be a 5K very doable for everyone. Start training right now.

Start training right now. Just get out there and walk. Just walk 15 minute miles and get your body comfortable. Get in there. We will be doing this in May. We'll find the city. We will add comics as they come up. I wouldn't be shocked Kevin Hart showed up.

Wouldn't be surprised we had a surprise guest with Joe Rogan. It's gonna be fucking epic. If he calls, I promise we will. If Kevin Hart calls you, you will see there, you'll, you'll, right now you'll look and they're like, wait, what are the extra five minutes of this show? It's because Kevin Hart called. We will record it and we'll put him in there. And if, but I'm saying if he calls here in the next few minutes, we're out of here.

You pull up your phone, start recording me and that will add it to this. I want to thank Tim Dylan. Yes. Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, Stavros, Michelle Wolf, camhains, Tom Suga, or Bert Kreischer. The list is going to get thicker. I hope this is the best year of your life. I hope we all have a fucking blast.

Topsof World Tour, Tommy's on tour. Find us on the road. we'll be getting in shape. I love you, Tom. Love you too. See you guys. Here's what we call to bears one cave.