2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 121 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of the new Austin set and we get into hypotheticals about hooking up with relatives! We get an update on the weight loss challenge with Nadav, talk about Ben Askren and the Jake Paul fight, and Bert tries to figure out his price for getting knocked out by a professional fighter. How much should Bert get to be in a boxing ring with Israel "Stylebender" Adesanya? The bears discuss the recent passing of Louis Anderson, Bob Saget, and Norm McDonald. Tom shares a story about him and Ryan Sickler smoking out Norm and seeing him go on stage right after. Bert then shares a story of a Paralympian swimmer Chloe Toscano who recently removed her arm and the bears gauge the room on some playful choking in the bedroom.

Bert, do you hear well out of your left ear? You're like, yeah, and then you just goes, FAH! And you're just like, oh, not anymore! I can't hear anybody out of here! How about your left eye? Can you see me? Whom? 100% I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you.

I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you. There it is. Is that the sweetest sound that you've ever heard? It makes me, oh, the smell of an IPA. You know what, I've got more than IPA lately, because you can sip them. Yeah. I run through wine.

You do. I run through wine. I just go, go, go, go, go, go. I had a wine and I had a lot of it. I murdered it. When you came over last time and you're like, I poured your glass and I poured myself a glass and it're like, I poured your glass and I poured myself over glass and it was like, we had our glass and I was like,

all right, and you go, can I take that bottle and can I get one more bottle? Yeah. To go to bed, I was like, oh my gosh. By the way, I was super nervous about it because you know, Leanne's like a green light me taking booze down to the second house. I hooked you up.

Okay, good. That's all I was worried about. Who's that? I light, me taking booze down to the second house. I hooked you up. Okay, good. That's all I was worried about. Is that, I get, I go, hey man, can I grab a bottle of their wine from their fine salar, brand, brand, brand, brand, brand, brand, brand. That's actually a good impression. You know she dated her third cousin one time? That's where it got, really?

It's where it got, like dated them. They found out at a fucking family reunion. There's not, there's gotta be, well, the wildest story ever. I feel like I told this on the podcast before about the comic who told me, right? Did I say this? The comic who his brother went on a date,

went, went, was out and went home with the chick. Can I tell you this? Okay. This is, this was told to me by someone. So this guy, he comes from a big family. He's like, my brother's out on a Friday night at a bar at a club meets a girl. She's like, you want wanna come back to my place? He's like, yeah.

Goes in and on the hallway where there's photos up, he goes, how could be the picture of my dad? No. And she goes, that's my dad. And they figured out that he'd had... You gotta tell me this comic's name. It's micropeakly. No, it's a... No, it's a...

It's definitely not. I can tell you people it's not. No, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you later. But he's like, he goes... So first of all, it's so fucking alarming, right? This guy is going home to fuck his sister. And oh my God. And he hears this, turns out, so he, the comic telling me, and the one whose brother had gone home,

is living and has grown up in a home where it's his mom and his dad, and I think it was a total of 11 or 12. They find out that the guy, the dad, had eight other kids and only lived and only did this two miles away. So the whole time he has the two families just a couple miles from each other. I fantasize about that sometimes. I have much fun that way. I just would love to, I would love to spread my seed.

Yeah. And you know, just have more people that remember me when I die. Mm-hmm. That is, Liam was at a family reunion. Yeah. And her boyfriend showed up. She was like, what's he doing here?

And he goes, huh? And then I guess her dad came out and he goes, oh, he can. She's like, what? He's like like his mama's Mimal's sister Sisters brothers cousin he can and they were like I guess we're done dating Wow, this guy by the way, he still fucked his sister. You got it. No, he wanted to know what he said I got to find what it's like no, no, okay,'t. Okay, here's question, here's question. Ready? You find out that you and Push are related.

Yeah. And that she is your sister. Do you keep fucking her? Oh yeah, that would be a great out. You're like, oh my God, no, I gotta find a poor star. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It was to clean my palate. You all right, with there?

You got a couple. Came out pretty aggressive. It was a juicy burp, or something that that comes up from the store. Do you ever throw up in your throat? I mean That's definitely something to talk to the doctor about you don't go up in your throat I mean has that ever happened sure. I know yeah, but you're like in night sounds like it's a weekly thing It's not weekly was definitely Yeah, it's a lot more than I like it. I started noticing when I start eating better I don't fart as much and burp as much and then I was like is that your body going on getting fat on getting fat

like as you burping it farting. That's your body going like, you're breaking us. Yeah. You know, like when a car wants to start you on, go go go go go go go go go go go go go. Weight loss, the dove, where are you at? And weight loss? Yeah, like let's find, let's find a goal line for you.

We keep talking about this. So I think we, I thought we thought two 15, right? Two 15. And if you hit that, but what's the date? What's the date? We're going November one Thanksgiving Thanksgiving. No, you can be here. Oh, you want to hit the weight November 3rd, remember day. Okay. November. Just a lot of November. No, it's fine. It's just funny. It's just funny. It's just funny that you're just like, my birthday. My birthday.

I'll be turning 50. Oh, at 50, I do not want to be the... Oh my God! You're getting me a race car soon. I know, yeah, I know. I know. Super exciting. I keep getting sent ideas.

I will send them my way because I got sent a few and then I got on this wild goose chase a Dale Earnhardt Jr And I was like and I thought I thought that was gonna be a possibility and I was like that's where we want Fucking stoked Dale Earnhardt Jr Whatever We're the guys name us. Yeah, Dale Earnhardt Dale Earnhardt Jr Junior I would I would love the fucking getting a business with him

by wanting his race cars, get a little fuck. Have you reached out to them or something? I do, I'm spread so thin right now, that it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got, look, I've got a disc golf sponsorship I'm trying to figure out. I got hit up by a bunch of those guys. Who do we talk about?

Disc golf. What did we talk about? Was it disc golf? I don't know. I don't remember talking about it at all. What did we talk about? We wanted a? The disc golf. What did we talk about? Was it disc golf? I don't know. I don't remember talking about it at all. What did we talk about? We wanted a racing and disc golf. Disc golf?

Is it disc golf? And we used e-gamers. No, no, but the Frisbee golf, right? Yeah, disc golf. I was recently out by a lot of Ben Asker and hit me up. And was like, hey man, are you really into disc golf? And I was like, I'm- Wait, the fighter? Yeah, yeah.

He's Ben Asker and is really into disc golf. He has a 27-hole course on his property. What yeah, he built it himself those rings crossed four like the goals are like 450 a pop and he's got the latitude 87 ones of which are like the nicest ones you can get Oh, he really he's been asking legit is a disc offer and he's and he's good like he's good they not know this yeah And by the way, it, have you ever played? No. It's so much fun. It'd be funny to watch him play disc golf

with someone who wants to argue and not know. That he could fucking tap them out in a second. Yeah, he fun to watch. He's an interesting dude, he really is. And he's got like a, like he just seems like the funnest fucking guy, like cool wife. I only know who his wife is cuz those fights when she went viral cuz of a Jake Paul So yeah, what did you get for that didn't you get crazy amount of money?

Yeah, it's so much money got knocked out and left the ring smiling. Yeah, here's like see you later mother of huggers I'm gonna go build a disc golf course. Yeah, he holds an Indivitational like he holds a legit I'm gonna go build a disc golf course. He holds an individual, like he holds a legit thing at his property in the woods, $500,000 for one fucking night. Not a bad paycheck. No. Not a bad paycheck.

And he lives up in a, he teaches wrestling. I think probably teaches MMA, like he's got academies. And he's a fucking sponsor disc golf. I also like that, I feel like when you fought Paul, He like didn't really train at all. He was just like whatever What's the price tag for just and I'm gonna say this will happen with Ben Askerin. Yeah, but what's the price tag for going like? I don't really give a fuck yeah, knock me out like sure. Yeah, I'll take one good knockout like Because what's your price tag for that? You're gonna get knocked out.

We get knocked unconscious? Yeah, you're gonna stand in front of a bunch of people against the guy who all he does is fight. And he's like, and basically your camp is like, hold on, hold on, you're gonna get, hold on. Hold on, because you're talking to Bert Kreischer here. I know, I know, I know. So there's the outlier of, I'm gonna try to tug on the Tigers tail.

I know, but what I'm saying is it's like, it's Francis and Garner. That they're like, that's who's gonna. There's a part of my brain that goes like, I'm probably not gonna. I know there is. I know there is. I don't think he's going to be paying attention, but he's going to slip on me because he's going to go, he's going to go, how big, how big style vendor? because he's gonna go, he's gonna go, how big, how big style bender?

He's probably six two and like, I think he probably weighs in the low two hundreds. So style bender, I think, underestimates me. Okay. So you're saying me and style bender. This is france. So we're talking about it here. Francis, how much? Okay. Okay. Okay. So you got to do, I got to fight my way Okay, okay, okay, so you got to do I got to fight my way If I was in shape. I can't fight. He's 250 in shape. I'm never fighting that. Okay. Okay. There you go 185 Okay, style bender. I think style bender is like a friend of yours, right? Yeah, I'm buddies with okay So let's call him out. So style bender and me six four. Sorry. I said I thought he was six four. What's his reach? It's and then get a tape measure real quick. It's pretty good.

So this guy's a world class fighter. I understand he's pretty good. Listen, my point is, style bender at one point is gonna ride the brakes and go, what a great fucking name he has. Yeah, that's a good name. And he said Israel, Adesanya. Adesanya, what a fucking pattern.

Where's he from? He's has Nigerian parents, but he lives in New Zealand So he might have been born there. He's he's a funny motherfucker. He's a funny dude And he's a I mean he's let me see him shirtless get a picture of him shirtless 6 4185 Yeah, mother fucker dude can fucking move though man. He's all right me fighting style vendor, right? There you go. There's all right me fighting style vendor right there you go There's the guy that was one eighty five here's a Jesus Christ. Here's a you want a challenge to a fight Wow

Fuck yeah, it's not I don't know how well it's gonna go in December Right, I'll be in shape then me in style vendor fight Right, I'll be in shape then me and style better fight me my An opponent wait, who is he beating put he put who he's beating in there? So I can get a perspective of it. So I know style better. I just know style vendor. Yeah, but I'm I'm not really super familiar I'm not I'm like a not the biggest MMA guy, right Yeah, let's go with here. He's 21 1 and and 0. That's good. 21, 1 and 0. Keep going.

Let me see who he's fault. Is that that camera's in a really bad place for me. Yeah, so Paolo Kosto, that's what he was pretending to but fuck from behind. During the fight. Wait, that style better? Yeah. Oh, pull that up.

I wanna see that. Oh, yeah. You all Romero. I met him. I think. Yo, Maro's a fucking. Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah. He's I met him. I think a yo meros of fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he beat him He's from Cuba, right? Yeah Yo, well, Romero you talk Spanish to him. I didn't know I didn't meet Romero. I just met Izzy

Anderson silver he beat So he's he's fought people better than me That laugh is my favorite laugh because someone I say that make it a ringtone. So so okay let's put it out there. Yeah I fight. Stop Bender. Okay. Okay. Okay. You know he's gonna hear this so. I know., we're talking about price I know I know you know stop manners part. He's a fighter. He fucking fights for a living He's I don't think he takes emotion about this. I think he goes no, I think you're right Put a price on a motherfucker. Yeah, I think you're a price on it. Let's fucking go in there

He's like what's the business proposal? And I guarantee you there's a night the night before the fight There's a minute we put this hell on his pillow and he goes Just one The night before the fight, there's a minute. We put this down on his pillow and he goes, just one hit. And that's all I need is that fucking... Lincoln, because, hey man. What's your... I don't want to say this, I don't want to be, I mean, it's just gonna be real, but like, I've knocked out people too.

Hey um... This is so good, I'm so excited. Style Bender versus... Wait, wait, wait, what's the price point? Pull up some style banner highlights just for us to watch in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me see what my comp... Like just like... Just like drink. Does he not even drink, does he? us to watch Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me see. Oh my god Just a just a drink. Does he doesn't even drink does he I don't know I don't know if he drinks

We don't have nothing here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's watch some of these Let's watch some of these in pretend birds there Well hold on let's put parameters on this okay, okay, I'm not getting on the ground with this motherfucker Okay, so we're doing a boxing boxing. Okay, okay It's a boxing match. All right. There's him. He's pointing at you. Some tattoos Hey, you lose some weight. I need some tattoos. Yes. Okay. Oh my god. There's some striking. Okay Okay, he can't use any legs. All right. All right. We're doing no legs. There's hands There's hands. Just hands.

Okay. Whoa, he's so quick. Yeah, he's pretty quick. But that's the whole point is I'm getting knocked out ultimately. Right, right, right. Was this him against your well? Not yet, I think that was a,

that's a, what was him? Well, that's Wilkinson, all right. Whoa. Boy, he didn't even, that wasn't even really's Wilkinson, all right. Whoa. Oh boy, he didn't even, that wasn't even really trying. That's not even trying. Yeah. He's just, he was just like, oh barely move here.

He's pretty good with his hands. Yeah, he's like one of the best strikers. Is it, oh should I pick the wrong one? You picked the wrong thing, yeah. Yeah. All right, I'd go up, I'd train with Ben Ascreen. I think Ben Ascreen. Look at that, What is that thing?

There's that kidney shot. I can't take liver shots. No liver shots. Yeah. All right, so what's the price point? Let's put it out. That's what I'm saying. All right.

You know for a fact, so it's gotta be 50, 50 purse, right? Yeah. 50, 50 purse. Well, I don't know. I mean, he's he's a bigger name a fighting than me. Yeah, yeah, you're Imagine I'm a big draw than he is I don't know fighting though. No for fighting. I don't know. I'll tell you right now good Google trends type in He loves Google trends good type in Yeah, stop entering and Berk, right here. It's just see who more because look or a little more pay-per-views Got to be honest with you Jake Paul is this a Jake Paul? Jake Paul check there's a there's a there's a stop and there's a different fucking thing

That's obviously in the night of a fight right there, right? No, no that's the way that there's like a stop and there's also a all right Anime anime thing all right, so type in his name is right? Good luck spending oh, I guess the top of should be pretty good. It's there it is spelling Israel All right, all right, I've been Burke right so those are but those are probably fight nights right there right like when yeah Probably that's okay. That's what we need judging against Whoa Wait, what year what is this over what how many times past 12 months? Yeah, all right go five years Those are big fucking nights man. Yeah, those are those are worldwide events because you wouldn't what you want to see is

Five years see if my specials get more than he does. Oh my god. His fights are fucking huge Those are world events. Those are world events. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So okay, so what's not gonna be 50 50 per so he's not gonna be down to 50 No, he wants more and which is understandable by the way by the way, I mean very Negotiable you are and I have to say knocked out. I gotta say something I'm gonna give you a lot of credit. You're being very reasonable in this being very reasonable. Yeah, I'm willing to fight style vendor But what's what's my what's my prey point? So look you got to look at this this way, right? Yeah, those fucking spikes Or by the way, you're doing you're doing you're doing really well in the red states. All right Oh, you see motherfucker. He's doing great. Miss a sippy George Alabama. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I get the middle states

So dammit man Okay, wait, he's going down, he's going down. I'm doing pretty good now. His pumps, his spikes are bigger than anything. The spikes are huge. All right, so okay, so let's start with his number. We'll work it back. Okay. Type in what the purse for the Jake Paul, uh, or not Jake Paul Logan Paul Floyd Mayweather. Do you know that, uh, Logan says that he hasn't been paid? That's been a big thing. Logan didn't say that Floyd Mayweather. Do you know that a Logan says that he hasn't been paid? That's been a big thing. Logan didn't say that Floyd Mayweather said that. No, but Logan has said he's not paid me.

All right. I guess they let the promotion like money, money mayweather. 30 million dollars. What does it say Tom? I can't read it. It's over here. Okay, Mayweather told the TMZ Sports that he's already netted around 30 for the fight.

It can make anywhere from 50 to 100 with the potential nine figure mark, depending on the showtime pay-per-view numbers. But that's obviously a quote before the fight. Okay. All right. So I commit myself 100% of this fight. Okay. If you tell me $100 million, I'm not going to go. Is the purse. And wait, what's the split? What's the, because you have to give him the lion's share, right?

So what are you willing to accept? If you can make, because there's no fight without style better. Yeah, he's got to, yeah. And by the way, I gotta be honest with you, he needs to razzle dazzle a little bit. Don't just knock me out. Play with me.

He's got to play with you, yeah. He's got to let me think. I think he knows that. Okay, all right, good. Okay. Are you willing to take, say, 30? Yeah, I was, my number was 30 and 70. Yeah.

Give him 70 million. Yeah. I'll take 30 million. And we'll do it. Can I tell you this though? Like I agree. He can't jump all the time to me and start doing this stuff. Okay, but he's got, he's gonna toy with you.

But ultimately also, What about this? Hold on, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay, ready for this? Yeah. Stop, enter, here's a deal. Okay. 70 million if you knock me out.

30 million, I'll take. Yeah. But if I knock you out, I take the 70 million. You take the 30. Okay, he'll take. Yeah. But if I knock you out, I take the 70 million. You take the 30. Okay, he'll definitely accept that. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, but, but, yeah. That, what that does, puts me in such an underdog place where everyone goes. No, they're gonna cheer for you. They're gonna cheer for you. And then dude, I don't think when I get those cheers behind me, the hair on my back raises and just, by the way, and I got until November, December,

we gonna do this fight in December? Okay, sure. I got like six months of hardcore training. Yeah. I know, I worry a little bit about brain damage. The long-term trauma that you're gonna suffer. How hard do you think he could, but he'd fight those guys, What are those guys doing now?

Well, some of them probably have brain damage from fighting him, but they're also, yeah, they're career fighters, you know. Also, like, you know. He would torture me, wouldn't he? They'd be pretty bad. It could be really bad. Do you think Stopbetter's watching this right now

and going like, I think he's very energetic. If you turned it off already, he was like, I came in here, you talk. No, I think he's laughing. I think he's probably laughing. Is he an accent? Yeah, he's an accent, yeah. Niger's laughing. I think he's probably laughing. Is he even accent? Yeah, he's an accent, yeah. Nigerian or New Zealand?

Well, it's kind of a unique accent because he has the Nigerian influence and the Kiwi influence. I was talking so much into that fight. You would? Oh yeah. He would talk so much more shit than you. First of all, you'd be at a press.

Okay, hold on, hold on. You'd be trying to catch your breath. If what if we do this, we, me and Stauberender are miked throughout the fight. So that's fantastic. All the, all the, and you just hear the shit talking. And the parameters are boxing only? Yeah, I can't, if I get on the ground,

I'm certainly gonna put me in a pretzel, within seconds, of course. And also, if I can't let him use his feet, no kick, no kicking, just boxing, just boxing. So a boxing match. And we do like, what's like regulation gloves? Where it's not 12 ounce are you saying like you want bigger gloves in that? I'm probably bigger so because you get tired quicker or something well No, you're gonna feel that punch more than 12 ounce gloves. You'll feel it a little less in like the 16 if I know that I have

30 million dollars come on my way. I'm gonna invest not you see gloves. I'm an invest. I'm an invest I'm an invest. I'm an invest. I'm an invest at least a million dollars in training Yeah, we go on Rogan's podcast and we promote oh eight to 10 ounce for competitive boxers 12 ounces of comment For Rogan's podcast remote. I'm first one. I get all my teeth removed I'm gonna get them all removed wait. We're going there. Yeah, I'm gonna take I'm gonna take my teeth out I'm gonna go You're gonna have a mouthguard some a regular person mouthguard. I'm not him. I can't just. Why is he wearing a mouthguard? When the fight if he knocks it, two times I'm gonna go, AARGH! Maybe you're gonna have a mouthguard. It's a regular person. A mouthguard.

I'm not him, I can't just go take a punch in the face and be like, That's nothing. What if he just like decides to break every rib first? You know what he's like, I'm gonna break each of your ribs one by one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And you got people betting they're like breaking six rim like they're just throwing money This is the thing I never thought of He's like

I'm a star It's already started He breaks all my words. Where he goes? He just, he's a bad idea. What's your bad idea? I can't stop it. I can't stop it. I can't do what's to do. It would totally be abuse.

Oh, do you realize the memes would go around? I mean, as he goes. He goes, Bert, do you hear well out of your left ear? You're like, yeah. And he goes, and you're just like, oh, not anymore. I can't hear anybody out of here. And he goes, and you're just like, oh, not anymore. I can't hear you, what are you doing? How about your left eye? Can you see me?

Oh, it would be bad. Oh, Mike, you're not so funny. I didn't think this through at all. No, I know. Oh my God. No, wait, can I ask you this, even thinking about your ribs broken, hearing damage. $30 million.

Yeah. $30 million. Broken occipital plate, like, $30 million ocular bone trash. $30 million. Broken occipital plate, like, $30 million. $Octular bone trash. $30 million. Would you do it for 30? Yeah.

30 million is a lot of money. It's game changer. I don't have to worry about anything. Yeah. I don't have to worry about it. Just therapy for a while. You think it's $70 million? Yeah.

So it looks just don't break my rib. For $70 million, it's just up to you. Like that's a problem of fighting. Is that, what have he punched you? Wait a minute. What, what have he hit you? Wait a minute. What? What if he hits you with one upper cut, and you just lean the stomach and you just throw up?

Like so much. You're like, he's like, oh man. And it's like 10 minutes and you just throw it up. I can't believe I thought this was a good idea at a point. Like I can't believe. So, so okay, so what's your point? Let's flip it. Style better gets his way with you in a ring.

With me. What's your point? What's your price point? $30 million sounds like that. I mean, yeah, I just, I personally would be like, no, I don't wanna do this. I don't wanna do this. Okay, all right.

Yeah. Top female boxer. Holly Holmes. She's a striker. Yeah, yeah. She's a striker. Yeah. Would you fight her for $30 million?

For $30 million? I guess, man. I mean, I guess her... What do you think she's very pretty? How long do I have to, like, I just have six months or something? Okay, what about it? I guess I would take six months to just be like,

what am I trying to do last around? Just not get all your ribs in Facebook and... I think she would, I mean, you would kick the fuck out of you. Oh yeah, you're right, boxing only. All right, how about this? Yeah. Me and you fight style bender Together it's silly over quick. You know why?

Because the first person would be knocked out immediately so that he could just fight one person We'd both be running to his fist. Yeah, knock me up first. I want to keep my ribs. Yeah Exactly. I'm like hit me hit me hit me. Yeah, I would love to I'd be like, hit me, hit me, hit me. I would love to, what do you think the real payday could be on something like that? I don't think it could be that. I don't think it could be that. Because we're not, the reason that that may

whether thing is, Paul's obviously a big draw, but he was fighting the biggest draw in fighting history, with Floyd. So having, you have to have the person who's such a massive draw involved in it. Like, if you and I fought each other, I'm saying like as a promo, we still take it. We do think we might maybe make a million dollars for each other. I have no idea.

I mean, we'd be making a mockery of this, like the way that so many of these celebrity fights are right now, but you have to have someone attached who's a draw. Who's a bit? A good fight draw We think Rogan could get if he fought a lot of money A lot and we also to see him fight another Trained celebrity, you know, I mean like who like it's not worth it to him It's not worth it and the peril is too high. No, that's why I think it would might draw him in. I'm saying that there's other actors and stuff

who are really into fighting, right? Who? Like the Van Damms and Wesley Snipes and the Gi. What's his name, White? Fucking up his name, but he's also really into fighting. Was it Michael? Is it Jalil? Michael Jalil white? Yeah, yeah, this dude is like Michael Jai white,

that's what it is. This dude like, you know, he's really into fighting. So yeah. So that'd be cool. That'd be cool only to see somebody like two guys who are known And have a history of training fight each other but also like Joe would never do it Joe would never do it because Because it's worth it to him either. Yeah, there's no reason he'd be like first of all He's like I don't want any brain damage. I don't want to get hit and I think he's already been like yeah

I already fought a lot of people when I was oh He legit fought I think he's already been like yeah, I already thought a bunch of people when I was oh, yeah, try he legit thought Thought people he was 19 and like all I've never really fought me have fought people, but I you know somebody out before Yeah, that was like ninth grade ninth grade day before ninth grade What was what was this and you throw like a rock at him? No, I dropped a safe on someone's head. Really? Yeah.

Who was asleep? People, what was that story? They never woke up? Not just kidding. I look at like, do you really have to say something? No, no, no. I look at people who beat people up and I wonder about all the fights. Like, like, I'm not, do you really have to say something? No, no, no. I look at people who beat people up

and I wonder about all the fights, like since we're talking about style bender. I look at all the fights he must have had that aren't registered, you know? Like to learn that he can fight. Yeah. You have to learn your, like the same way we've had a lot of work.

You really said to me that it was freaky. Where'd you meet him, New Zealand? New Zealand. I was sitting there, I was like, oh, what, like how'd you get into it, you know, like that kind of origin stuff? And he was like, yeah, I was watching this fight one day. This is like very, where did you like,

very casually talk? I was watching a fight. I think it was one of the earlier MMA fights and he was like, you know, I watched that and I thought, I could be the best in the world at that. I was like, that was your thought. I could be the best in the world at that. And was like, that was your thought. I could be the best in the world at that. And he was like, yeah.

I was like, oh, I think that's what, I don't think that's most people's thoughts. My thought. I just said I could fight style bender. Like that's why my brain works. Right go, I do look at things I go, I could be the best in the world at that. I do, I do think that.

I think that about a lot of things. I think about a lot of things, but we're starting to be very racing. I really think we could be the best in the world with that. I do, I do think that, I think that about a lot of things. I think about a lot of things, but we're starting to be very racing. I really think we could be the best in the world. I have a delusional brain. I have a hard-core delusional brain, right? I guess the thing is with that, when he said that, most people would hear someone say that and go, you're delusional.

No, but you have to be a tabit delusional. You do, you do. You have to be a tabit delusional to be able to see the dream and go, I can actualize it. 100% 100%, because I mean, for him, it ended up being something truthful. I also remember not even never saying,

I could be the best there were that, but being like, I'm pursuing standup and having people be like, standup comedy. Yeah. And tell people I'm doing it and they're like, you do it for a living, it's your job. Yeah, I do not. I wrote on my door,

I'm a big believer in affirmations of my whole life. Leanne very early, I remember saying something and diffusing it going like, you know, like what you're going to stand up, I was like, I don't know, I wanna do like a HBO special, but that's never going to happen.

And she was like, don't do that to yourself. Say it and believe it. And then put it out in the universe and it will happen. Really Liam is hardcore about that. I wrote on my front door, it was up there for a while. I'm sure you saw it. I wrote, I want to be one of the best comics of my generation.

And I put that out there. And I said, I do want to be one of the best comics of my generation. And I put that out there and I said, I do want to be. By the way, I mean, I'm not saying, I know where I am on the list of comics. But I do believe that at comedy, I'm really fucking good at it. I do believe it. The way Stauberner must believe in himself with his fighting, I believe in stand-up. I'm watching off where I go. I know where I fall on the list. I think we all kind of do. in himself with his fighting, I believe in stand-up.

I'm watching off where I go, I know where I fall on the list. I think we all kinda do. There's the ones who, you can tell the ones who know they're lying to. Like the guys who, when they tell you where they are on the list and you know they're lying, they know they're lying to.

And we all know where we fall on the list. I know where, I know what the list is, I know where I am. And let me tell you, man, I'm happy where I am on the list. I know where I know what the list is. I know where I am. And let me tell you, man, I'm happy where I am on the list. Pretty good. And by the way, when I wrote that on my front door, if you told me where I'd be, we're on the list right now, I would have never believed that would happen. Where I go, where I just,

the opportunity to be able to do specials at all. Yeah. Be it on Amazon Netflix, Hulu, HBO Max, YouTube. Let's just say YouTube. I mean, like you look at Shane Gillis and Mark Norman, they're fucking, they're on that list. They're amazing comics. Yeah.

But, but. The specials are good. Yeah, but Joe list just put a special out on YouTube. So many, so many great people, just to be on that list, but I think just to be on that list. But I think you got I think you got to be a tab bit. I wouldn't say I'm delusional. Not the right works. I don't think I would never say stop under was delusional with where he thought he could achieve what he

did. Yeah, but if you're somebody who say that young you say it's like that video. You see that video. The guy., Nidav, can you find this the cage fighter he goes? I'm not there today. I'm not gonna be there tomorrow. I may lose a lot But one day I'll be fighting for the championship and I'm gonna win you ever see that video Nidav And he and he look up wait look up a dissonia Costa taunting type that in I love cage fighters Yeah, they're fucking they're the best man Wait, wait, look up a disagne a Costa taunting type that in. Oh, I love cage riders. Yeah, they're fucking.

They're the best man. Because it's the ultimate version of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this day. Yeah, that one just mute it and hit that second one. This is like this is who you you're considering. It's like considering committed. You're committed to stepping into the cage with. See if it gets to it Well, at least that we all feel yeah, but at least you'll kind of well, is it not there?

Okay, there's a guy who says that he goes and you have to believe in that a little bit And I think that's what the one of the crazy things as I want want to. I can't help but think of like you're talking about fighting. But I those these brings me to flashbacks of people saying shit when when like we're pursuing standup. And people are like, what are you doing? Oh, I had people be like, what are you doing right now? Are you really going to one guy was like, uh, he asked me to invest in something. I had I didn't have that much money. Are you really gonna one guy was like

He asked me to invest in something I had fair. I didn't have that much money Yeah, he's like I have this little startup and I like I had he was like you would invest a few thousand dollars in it And I was like thinking about it. I was like, no, maybe like you know, I won't be there I'll be a An investor, but I won't be there. And he goes, what do you mean? And I go, well, I mean, I have a career. So I mean, it would be an investment, but I work and he goes, do. Do you think you're gonna make it to in this?

And I was like, I go, I mean, I go, I have a, at the time, I had a half hour special, which was kind of a big deal. Right? I mean, it kind of. It was very big deal. And I was like, early 30s. I was like, well, I mean, it's kind of going well. He's like, do you really think you're going to make it? And I go, well, I mean, I'm a working guy.

Like, I work for a living. I get gigs. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, you can't just like, not be here if you're gonna invest in this. I was like, all right. Okay. It's amazing. You know what, I mean this,

in any way that I've slided, fucking style vendor, I don't think I have personally, I think he knows. I think he knows it'll be a fair match. But like, what's crazy is imagine doing that and you gotta fight someone, right? Oh my God. Imagine hearing people saying, you don't have it.

Yeah. And you know that the peril is not just bombing, which you do, you do a lot, but you're gonna lose fights. Imagine that. F**king way different. All the fighters that are out there that are like, this is Adesanya. He, uh,

he picked up like a dog. Yeah. That would definitely happen on our match. Oh my god. I might have picked the wrong guy. It was an interesting choice. I'll give you that. Well, I only picked him because he talked shit about me one time. He did? Yeah. I know he doesn't like me. Oh really? Oh. There you go. No, he was like someone said something

one time. It was a simple back and forth but it was like someone said something like he wrote something about like if you see me in public, don't fucking look at me or don't talk to me, you can find it, find it on Twitter or you can find it, and then I'll be accurate in what I'm saying. But so I've always kinda had a thing for him where I get a kick out of him,

because I know he seems like he's got a sense of humor. He does, he does. I don't know him, but like. He definitely has a sense of humor. Is it type in Bert, Twitter, yeah. You got it. Style Bender? No, Style Bender, Bert Kreischer.

Just, yeah. And then don't worry about the don't look at me. Type in the alcoholic or something. Oh yeah, that's it, that's it. Yeah. He wrote this and I was like and it's so I got new yet a sense of humor. Yeah, that was kind of a funny fucking line. But Rita's original original one. He wrote like basically, stay the fuck away from me.

I'm an ass or whatever. If he met any gig, please leave me the fuck alone. I will not be spending the whole time taking pics for your IG. It's not just one pic because every fan don't even care what one it pick. I just want to be lit as fuck and in my zone, bitch, don't kill my vibe. Which is like, it looks like it's a meme. Not me. Yes, not.

It's a meme, but he goes, it's okay. I'm an asshole, right? And so then my famous friends agree, be nice and I'll be nice. Most of you just come at us yelling shit top of your lungs. Be cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Keep going. To each the room, but birdcrasher seems to be a lot happier than you and he chills with his fans all during non-COVID. He's also fat and in borderline alcoholics we can deal with rabbit fans. LOL just be nice. And so that I wrote big

fan of yours too. So I figured he got a sense of humor. I always had him on my radar of like, yeah, I'm like, if you're going to talk about a fighter who you could, you know, like, like,

there's a couple fighters. No, they're not. No, they're not. Well, yeah, well, they're not, they're like, there's a lot of some fighters. Let's do the list of fighters you can't make jokes about. Well, here's the thing about these guys, that I've discovered in my little exposure to them,

and somebody else pointed it out to me. It might have been Hinch Cliff or somebody who said this, that they like a lot of them like me around comedians, right? Really? Because they like, first of all, guys, males, you know, men come up to them, it's weird, it's energy. Like you don't know if the guy's like challenging you or like what he's going to do and they know that like we're there joking around. Yeah. We're not threatening in any way. We're there for a laugh. So a lot of the fighters are cool with comedians.

Yeah. Yeah, I think fighters or comedians know who they were in the locker room. Yeah. And look at those guys and go, I just, you know, I'm gonna give you the blue eyes. Do I have locker room. Yeah. And look at those guys and go, I just, you know, I'm gonna give you the, do you have blue eyes? Do I have blue eyes?

Yeah. We've done this before, haven't we? I think you've pointed it out. Yeah. Fucker. But I think, I think, I think it's kind of like an interesting thing. I was like, we look at guys like that. Like when you, I remember running into people at Rogan's podcast.

Yeah. And you'd be like, and or any of those fucking guys, they come to the store and you're always like, it was, I don't know, I think comics just give them the reverence of who they are. Of course. Well, you know, there's also, if you have a sense of humor, which, you know, it's like part of the reason everyone loves a DS brothers is because train by your days, you're Rogan's podcast all right, all day. It's like, that's why everyone loves the DS brothers. All right, at least I do. And then someone like, style bander,

I've ever since he tweeted that, I was like, I like the guy. Like I'm gonna, I wanna, you know. There's also the unspoken thing that plays a role in this. I'll still fight him. I know you will. The unspoken thing is that we all do this automatically, which is whenever you walk into a room, any room,

your brain Calculates The threat of every man, right? It's automatic. It doesn't have to be a kind of crazy about these UFC fighters What it's like no joke if you put me in a room with style banner or six four. Yeah, bad example But if you put me in a room with like, what's Cal big cowboy? Cowboys are, Serrano. Serrano? Serrano.

I'm thinking about hot peppers. Cowboys Serrano should, oh, six feet. Goddamn it, Cowboys six feet. Who's someone that's, I thought Cowboys was like, what's Tim, I was in a room with Tim Kennedy. Tim Kennedy's their feet. You don't, you don't ever think Tim Kennedy is not a man by the way, no, no like by the way Tim Kennedy Okay, so he lives here

No, yeah, real he lives here I'm gonna have him on Tom talk to be fun. Yeah, he's great. Yeah I trained with Tim Kennedy for a day and I shit my pants. You did? Yeah, where? at Jackson's oh you guys should fight. Why don't you fight him? They go well. I probably have a better shot at Tim Kennedy. I how much did you weigh? Is that six four? I don't think I could get inside the style vendor

There you go. I'm taking all this back. Maybe I haven't seen what style vendor looks like in person. And I'm just envisioning something else. Here's the deal. Do you have a gochance of 200 pounds? I'll lose the weight. What are you?

What were you up to? What was your highest? 265. 267. 267, whatever, right? Yeah. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

Here's the challenge. You ready? Yeah. Now I just got my bet. Okay, tell me. The install better have to party than I before. Okay, yeah. Last call. He's gotta keep up with you.

Gotta keep up with me. This is interesting, then we fight. Yeah. And so the pay-per-view starts at like 8 PM at dinner or having drinks, reading dinner, we're buying shots. And then we stay out until like two in the morning, last cross two in the morning. Yeah.

And then we gotta fight the next day. What time is the fight the next day? Well, for an evening. 8 a.m. You know I have a chance then. Then's your best chance. Then I got a chance, because top winners can be like,

I don't feel so good. You'll be like, I'm fine. I don't have any thoughts. I'm free for eight bucks, eight burgers.'t have free fucks in my fucking prime. That's where I got a fucking, that's where I got to stand up. Yeah. It's funny with all the,

I have been healthier, I know it doesn't seem like it, especially when I'm gonna say, can you give me one more of these hazy IPAs? I want, because... Well, first of all, you're down. If you're 250, you're down. I'm down.

I'm down to 17 pounds. How did you do that? I did a cleanse. I remember that. I broke long, and then I did, and then I got COVID. Oh. So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we went skiing, and I was like, But you're about to get on the, when did you wrote next road weekend, this'm we went skiing. But you're about to get on the one you wrote next road weekend. This weekend right now. Where you going? San Diego I've already done it Let me one more this air. I'll tell you where I'll be. That's right 221 211. Yeah February 22 is Christ Am I even Doing stand up. I'm in Norfolk, Virginia

Columbia, South Carolina, Savannah, Georgia, Macon, Georgia, Pensacola, Pensacola, Pensacola, Birmingham, Birmingham, and... Are you a big Pensacola, Dra. Yeah, I guess. You know, I never thought I'd do well in North Florida and I did Tallahassee. I did the... Yeah. Dallantuckert thing. Yeah. And I did well and then it's crazy, I think, word spread in Florida about like,

I should go to a good show. And it's like, my place, I never thought I'd, I never played in my life. We never played. We, I said we, but because I know where the clubs are, but we never played those Jacksonville, Florida rooms. What was that? I gotta, I gotta ask you, because I haven't talked to you

about this at all, but the, loot, and I know this is very late, but we haven't been around each other. Yeah, but losing Bob Sagittan Lewis losing Louie. Yeah, I mean Such a shock. I found out about Sagitt from our group text. Yeah, and I that one to me I think Most people would would also probably agree it was more surprising, right? Like I was expecting either one. I was, well, I wasn't expecting a new, it's odd is that after Bob died, I thought about Louis. And I thought, because you know, the heart attack and Louis had a heart attack 15,

15 years ago, he had a heart attack and I went and hung out with him in the hospital. After he had his heart attack, but Bob flipped me out. Like it really flipped me out. That was tough, man. I mean, I almost, I knew it, but I guess I didn't realize until afterwards how beloved he was, like an is. Like people really love Sagitt. It's kind of sweet to see. Well, he was, here's a deal is like, for whatever reason,

and this doesn't happen often in our business, he was up top of his game, full house, fucking America's funny, his home videos, stand up. Yep. Top of his game, but he never treated anyone like, he was above them. He treated everyone equal. Very sweet. I remember one time doing a show with him with the im bag. and he never treated anyone like he was above them. He treated everyone equal. Very sweet. I remember one time doing a show with him with the imbag

and we were talking about someone had a personal assistant and Bob's high was like, huh? He was like, wait, I don't have a personal assistant. Like he was just very regular guy. Yeah. And we're like, I remember Ian and I were like, wait, I don't have a personal assistant. Like he was just very regular guy. Yeah. And we're like, I remember Ian and I were like, Bobby should definitely have a personal assistant. He was like, wait, what do they do?

And I was like, oh, they just make sure you get from place, point A to point B and he goes, I can do that on my own. Like, he was a very regular guy that never put the pretense on of like, do you know who I am? No, no, no, I think that's appreciated. You loved comedy, like, re-eat comedy. You loved comedy.

That's cool. Because like, we all like it, who do it, or love it, but you can tell in each kind of class, the ones, there's always like, the one or two people who are like, so, so in love with comedy. It kind of made me like jealous when I saw like, they were good friends with John Mayer

and like the dinners they would do with like Don Rickles. Like I was like, yeah. I was like man, I don't think I've invested that much in comedy, meaning I don't go out of my way to make sure I, like Jeff Ross has really, does his due diligence every morning like to wake up and make sure he's got friends in the business, you know what I mean? Like my friends in the business are you guys but like like there's a lot of comics I like like pop a second where I just aren't I texted with him every now and then or

whatever you overpaid me for a gig one time. Bob did? Yeah, I talked about it. I know I've talked about it at different times. I'm not certain what numbers I've said. I don't know how my brain is. So what was the gig? The college or open forum.

I think I was going to get paid $500 to open for the college, which was a lot of money to do 15 minutes. Yeah. paid $500 to open for the college, which was a lot of money to do 15 minutes. Yeah. It was a lot of money. Yeah. And he gave me $5,000. And I was, and I remember, I think I asked him about it on a podcast.

So I went to him and I was like, hey man, I think the checks are wrong. And he was like, no, no, no, no, no. And I know the check was wrong. No one gets paid $5,000 to open. And he did that. And he just gave me $5,000. And he said, like, you just had a family ride or something. And I was like, yeah, he's like, yeah, yeah, of course.

Yeah. But you can see in his eyes, like someone definitely fucked up the chain. I'm like, oh, keep it. It's a guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But he was really cool about it. I think I talked about it on his podcast with him.

Maybe I can't remember. Louis was the one that is the only comic I never posted about this pass away. I got posted about Bob, I posted about everyone that passed away. Yeah. I did not post about Louis and I just, and that was the first time,

see, he meant a lot to me, meaning like, I had a real relationship with Louis for a very long time. Really? Yeah, I had a real relationship with Louis for a very long time. Really? Yeah, I had a real relationship with Louis. He got me in the comedy store, started working Sunday nights in the main room. Because he liked me, he thought I was funny and he kept telling me, you don't need to curse, you don't need to curse. If you take the curse words out of your act, it's basically the secret time.

Because if you take curse words out of your act, you're actually dirty enough that they get it. And you don't have to say the curse words. And it's an old act. You don't have to worry about trying to be edgy and And I didn't post about him and I never felt cool posting about him because he's someone I don't know I guess I don't take pictures with enough people I never picture with him and I wasn't gonna go download a picture of him Post it and I've done that before yeah, but everyone else, because I got shit for not posting about someone one time.

You did? Yeah. I was so fucking angry. Who died recently? We've got a lot of people die. Yeah. Someone died recently and then they were like, how can we even post a picture?

And my social media team hit me up. And they're like, hey, you've got a lot of traction on your post. You just posted, but you didn't post about this person dying. And I was like, they're a friend. Wait, who was it that died? I don't know. The dog. Do you know who passed away recently? Well, you can just go to my Instagram, my post of the picture of them. So I was like, Oh, you ended up posting it. I was just posted. I was like, I was a good friend. Oh, um, oh, come on.

Who just died recently? Come on. You know what I'm talking about. No. Goddamn it. What was it me love? I didn't know me at love. It just keeps scrolling.

I post all the time. The norm? There's Bob. I just, but it's like, it sucks that you get caught out and then you have to screen grab a picture Keep going keep going keep going Screen grab a picture on post it when you're like yeah, I am morning like but I miss that person I keep thinking that everyone we see is dead. Yeah, I saw like all right

Keep going Keep going Huh, he just passed away recently. Really? A norm. Norm. Norm. And everyone was lighting me up going, you haven't posted about norm. And whatever the fucking other post I posted that day was,

how dare you not post about norm. And you're like, and then, and then, and then you're like, I mean, I'm, yeah, I like norm. I'm like, I'm a really good time with norm. I like norm. You wanted the craziest, one of the craziest little things, I don't know, I have a really good time in Norm. I'd like Norm. You wanted the craziest, one of the craziest little things. I don't know if you knew this about Norm,

but I learned, I mean, when he was alive. And I was like, what? He didn't drive. He lives in Los Angeles. And like having a car in Los Angeles is like just a staple of, like, it's just, and so one time I was doing Irvine, and Frank was like, oh yeah, we got to send the car to get

normally. What do you mean? Like he gets car, like I was like, oh, it's a Labrady car service. He's like, oh no, he doesn't have a car. I'm like, what? He goes, he doesn't drive. I'm like, what are you talking about? What about in LA?

He goes, and this is like before Uber. Yeah. You know, this is like more than 10 years ago. Like, what if he needs, I just couldn't, but it's L.A. We all have cars. He's like, not norm. He just, his life was kind of contained

in the blocks that he lived in. And then if he had to do something, he had to call someone or somebody who had to pick him up. He just was like, nah, I don't drive. So did you, were you open for him? Net well, we're trying to think about it. I hung out with him a couple times. The Irvine one was that was, that was the time I got really high with them. Ryan Sikler and I were in the parking lot before.

And Ryan's always got a good weed. He had some crazy sticky shit and he was like, he's like, you wanna smoke? I thought Norm was gonna be like, I'm about to go on stage, which he was. And he was like, yeah, I was like, you're gonna smoke right now. I was like, you're gonna smoke right now?

Cause that was like so scary to me to get that high right before. He packed this bowl, Norm hit it, took a monster hit. I watched him take a monster hit off of cough, rogan one time. So hard, tear came down his face. You know, when you're coughing at heart and I was like, this is gonna be bad.

You know, I took a hit, cause I was watching them. We weren't performing that night. And the show's already started. And I had that anxiety of like a five year comic and he's a 30 year guy at a time. I'm like, don't you gotta get in there? He's like, I don't know. I'm like, how?

How? I guess all I can think about is like, you gotta get in there, man. And he's, he smoke and talk and told me, I asked questions. I asked about dirty work, you know, and working I go that scene with Rickles and and and Arty you know and he told me the whole

story oh great story great story how they couldn't fucking get the take because they all kept breaking and laughing and they only had rickles for a few hours yeah because like you know that's just how it isn't movie sometimes. Like, you got this guy for like eight hours today. They got the usable shot that they use in the movie at like the seventh hour. Because they just, because he kept roasting them and they were just falling apart, you know?

And then they had him again, like a week later, for another scene. And that's the time that Frank Sinatra was dying in the hospital. And Norm had said to, he's like, he goes, so he comes for that second time when we're shooting with him. I knew that Frank was dying in the hospital. So I just went up to, to Rickles and I go, hey, I'm really sorry about Frank. I know he's good friend of yours.

And he said, Rickles, like, yeah, yeah, I was with him in the hospital yesterday, you know, and I told him that I love them and he was all, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, But that's Rickles, you know? Like Rickles mocking his dying friend. And then I thought I'd tell you this, we walk from the parking lot into, this is the older vine, Rick probably. We walk in the front and then there's the showroom doors and then there's the pathway down. Dude, it's like a movie.

We walk in the front doors and then those showroom doors open. And as the showroom doors open, they're like, Norm Mcdonald, he's got on this leather blazer on, and he's holding a Coke, twist off Coke. Yeah. And he just walks up there and, you know, place goes, it was packed. And he's like, yeah, you know, some people drink Sprite.

Fucking gross. And he just fucking, it's like talking like that, like just off the top of his head about how gross sprite is and Murdering and then Ryan and I are in the back. We're like, oh shit. We're like he's we're so high. He's got me so high So high is up there just just killing man He was the he was he was the He was the best. I mean it's it's it's hard. It stinks when you lose all three of them at the same time Oh, man, because do you know what I gotta tell you this with this a Canadian promoter told me they go I forget who it was but somebody who would you probably know too that has worked in comedy all these years and

They go, you know coming up when nor cuz Norm started in Canada, you know, it's Canadian. Yeah, they go, you know, coming up when Norris Norm started in Canada, you know, he's Canadian. Yeah. They go, whenever he killed, like killed in these early years, working a weekend at Yuck Yuck or something, when the show was over, he just hid, or just, he just go in the green room and sit there. But if he bombed, which Norris the kind of comic, who like every other show, yeah. Because he literally, like, he just didn't care. But if he bombed, which Norma's the kind of comic who like every other show, Yeah. Because he literally like, he just didn't care.

He really didn't care. He really didn't care. He really didn't care. People say that and they're lying. No, he really genuinely didn't care. Didn't care. When we watch his roast, watch his talk show appearances, he doesn't give a fuck. When he bombed, which was like semi-regularly, he would wait in the hallway to shake

audience members' hands so that they had to see him again. That. So they're leaving, he's like, how are you doing? Hi. That is the most gangster man. Yeah, it totally is. But if he's like, if I kill, I don't want to do that. Dude, I don't know.

His, you couldn't, the thing I loved with Norm, you couldn't tell if he was joking with you or being serious. Like, I just was laughing with Spade about how, when Spade did Norm's Netflix show and Norm's doing, it's like just like this and he goes, and we'll be right back and the cameras are rolling and Spade's just like you cut the commercial He's like, yes, we just gotta do a commercial and then he just waited He's like and we're back and spades like was that real and he's fucking was that was by the way so funny, dude Yeah, it's so funny dude What is it what is it about like?

Do we have that now someone like that because the thing about norm And the thing about spade I'll say it about spade. I'll say it about Sandler. It's Farley Bill Murray You'll never get that again. You'll never get that mystery of who are they? Oh like cuz I Mean we both know spade, but like we I don't know Davidade, but like, we, I don't know Davis paid it all. I don't know. Well, we don't know any about him. Oh, I guess even like, even like, you hang out with him. It's all exterior. And then he disappears, right? Yeah.

Norman McDonald, you'd hang out with him, but you'd get whatever he said to you, but then he'd disappear. Right. And he wasn't on podcast. He wasn't on fucking Instagram I know and I fucking you know, I had a couple Ins to try to have mom a few times on the podcast. Yeah, yeah I mean it wasn't like progressing but I was like I remember going like I should ask this guy Oh, yeah, you know that kind of stuff Yeah, well, yeah, well, I had a I had an opportunity to have them on just fart. Yeah,, I did. And I couldn't, and I, man, I, by the way, probably my biggest regret is that I didn't spend more time

like chasing my heroes, meaning like hanging out with the people or like going like, hey, I'd love to open for you or something. Yeah. Like, I would have loved to have had more interactions with Norm. And the ones I had, I think are great. Same with Bob Sagitt. Like, he offered me, he's like, you know, we have scars and whatever, like he had a, I don't know,

it's on a podcast, you can just see it. Like I'm always gonna remember things wrong, but he had a box, a joint box that Rodney Dangerfield gave him. He kept his joints or his coat. Who's this? Sagitt. He had a box, a joint box that Rodney Dangerfield gave him. Yeah. Rekept his joints or his coke. Who's this? Sagitt. And I regret not reaching out to him more to go like,

hey man, I'd like to take you up on hanging out. I'm just not that guy. And I'm like, even with Louis who is the sweetest guy in the world and would reach out to you and say, come and hang out, I wouldn't do that. And I don't do it like. I read that thing, I just saw the blurb where right when Bob Sagitt died,

and I don't mean to say this because of who he is, I'm just saying this sentiment, like resonates, which is there was a blurb that said, like, Chappelle regrets, not texting, sagitt back. And I was like, how many times will you like, you ever, I do that thing where I read a text, and I'll be like, Chappelle regrets, not texting, Sagitt back. And I was like, oh, how many times will you like, you were, I do that thing where I read a text. And I'll be like, oh yeah. And I'll think I've texted back.

I'll be like, oh, it's good to hear from him. And I put my phone down. And then the next day I'm like, I was good. Like, then I'm like, oh, I didn't write anything back. Oh, yeah, that's a million. I mean, I think I have a good one, the last text from Ralphie. Really?

I think I have the last text from Ralphie is like, do you wait, do you not have, do you have texts from like years and years ago? Yeah. Really? I don't know, I'll tell you Ralphie. Yeah, I got Ralphie. That's wild.

Until what day did Ralphie die? 2018? No, I'm gonna find out here in a second. 2017. October 6th. That might be a different Ralphie. No. Wait. October 6th 2017. Is that Ralph Mio? I have a text from Ralphie. Let's see. What's up player? That's Ralphie. That's weird. Someone got his phone, I guess.

Oh yeah, I guess you could probably write back to this one. You know I've been doing by the way? What? I've been getting these like weird text messages from like not from friends. Yeah. Like somebody.

Who do they call you, Luis? No, it's like. Like do you need to learn that? Somebody was like, hey my team and I are trying to acquire this, so I write, this is an ambassador cart right, you know? Oh, you write back to them? Yeah, I just go this is,

and then like today, somebody, somebody said, You write back this is ambassador cart right? Yeah, somebody wrote, Hey Diane, I'm sorry, the epidemic is too severe, I can't attend your wedding, and I go out to the am. I feel like I should tell you, hey, Diane, I'm sorry. The epidemic is too severe. I can't attend your wedding.

And I go, hey, Diane, I feel like I should tell you this isn't Diane, but you'll probably understand. So I said, oh, you're not Diane. I think I enter the wrong number. And I said, it's okay. And they go, how should I address you? I said, ambassador cart, right? And they said, you're the ambassador of another country

of the United States. I said, formally, yes. I had an incident forced me to resign. Wait, why? You are crazy. You are fucking crazy. I said, formula, yes, I had an incident for us me to resign. Wait, why? You are crazy. You are fucking crazy. You are crazy.

That's fucking, yes, I had a formula, right? I only got a Captain putting pants, remember that guy? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I want to talk to you about this. I want to talk to you about this woman who did this thing before we go, because I know we have like limited time. Yeah, okay.

Chloe Tuscano. Okay. She, I want to tell you her story. Okay. I'm fascinated by what, what's, I follow her thing. It's interesting on Instagram is that you can, people going through real shit, you can follow there, that's the wrong woman. Tisca no, yeah.

There you go, that's her. So click that picture with the smiley faces. So she's a young lady, she's a parat Olympic, right? And I thought you would get this because me and you have been through roughly the same thing a little bit with the surgeries. Oh right, right, right? And I thought you would get this because me and you've been through roughly the same thing a little bit with the surgeries. Oh, right, right, right. So she got in the way, uh, uh, a mo pet accident accident in like 2013, maybe. Mm-hmm. And she got paralyzed from her elbow to her fingertips on her left arm. And then she decided to cut off her left arm. And I found out about this by reading an article

that it started, she's a great writer. She said, I, Wednesday night, I'm gonna watch House of Gucci with my best friend. Shit movie. Good. That's what, I swear to God, you had just seen that movie and you told me about it. Yeah.

And I thought, ooh, she's gonna be let down. And then she was like, Thursday night, I'm gonna chill Friday, I get my left arm cut off. And so go to her Instagram page. She cut her left arm off because, and you dealt with this more than anyone, is the nerve block of having a paralyzed arm is insanity inducing.

So I've been following her story. Okay. And she cut her left arm off. And what's the most recent? Very recent, it looks like very, very recent. She has a left arm right there. Shit, that's.

Oh, okay, okay, okay, sorry, that was the old picture. That's the old picture, but you can see. And it's still recent, right? Cause yeah, I would love for you. I'm one of her on broadcast. You are having her? I want to, but I would love for you to talk to her on like Tom Talks or maybe like on your mom's house

because she's a great writer. She writes for like fucking all the big, what's your call it? But her journey's been fucking fascinating. So she's a swimmer? Paralympian. Yeah, she's like a legit gold medalist, but Paralympian meaning She's swam with a I mean, I'll do respect. I hope that everyone understands I like this chick, but like she's swimming with a dead arm like it. Oh, so before I'm saying that's what I'm trying to get

As a could move she can move the shoulder, but what happens, and you know this, and I know this, is that once you have an arm that's not getting feeling, it affects your shoulder, it affects your neck, it affects your back, it affects your everything. Yeah. And so, oh, there we go. There we go. How are you seeing how you see this? You can see in this photo, the left left arms like has major atrophy, right? Major atrophy and it just doesn't work at all and I think the majority of human beings go I'll keep my arm on right right right aesthetically it looks good. Yeah, but both me and you have been through this where Like when I had that nerve block in my arm and you had it way longer than I did. Yeah, how long did your nerve block last? I mean, well, I had nerve damage

that they were just like you either have to operate or that's why I had this fucking surgery. So that was months, man. But she went through it too and it's just fucking, it's been such an interesting journey to follow because she's been very open and honest. So, but when she was competing before, it was because the left hand didn't really move, right?

Left hand didn't move. So I'm assuming she swam with it at her side and just fucking power through it. And she was like, scroll down more. Keep going. So like you can see, you can see all the pictures where her arm doesn't work, right? Yeah, and then so apparently I and I I

Yeah It would drive me fucking nuts not to have an arm that worked below then yeah, so she opted for that because she was like I this This thing's not working anyway basically. Yeah, she basically scroll up, scroll up. You can find her exact words, scroll the other direction, but like, she's like a legit athlete. Yeah. She was in a fucking goddamn Moe pedact. And that's what, and the nerve damage was so severe.

The nerve damage was so severe, she lost the, Wow, I'm supposed to talk to somebody this week who's considering the same surgery I had. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Who, like, they asked me to talk to. Oh, they did? Yeah, the hospital.

Really? Mm-hmm. It's amazing because I, you know, I'm, it's, it's, I, you know, you can never, you can never parallel your journey with someone else's journey because you don't know what it's like to walk my out on our feet, whatever, but shut up and do it off. But like when I read that article I went, I was there.

I remember having the fall or whatever and being like, I lost, after surgery, they nerve-blocked my entire arm. And I remember not being able to move my fingers. You thought if that were a permanent state? I'm kind of off in the heartbeat and I fucking heart beat I do exactly what she did. I get like, I put the arm off at the shoulder in a heartbeat. I remember waking up the middle of the night and my arm was behind the couch and I didn't know it fell back there and I couldn't get it out and I fucking panicked and I and I know

that feeling and I would rather be quicker to the draw meaning like get get me in and out like yeah I don't want shit snagging on anything like and it's so funny because I've been following her journey like I said and and she's got a great upbeat attitude. She really does. She's also being very honest about how hard this has been because apparently, cutting off an arm is not easy peasy. I mean, I wouldn't assume so. Wow. She's definitely, I thought I'd put her on your radar

because I think about, you know, your journey with your arm and just how like the silliest fucking thing like Duncan basketballs or getting on a scooter Fucking changes your life forever and then you're By the way, she's I mean I say this I say this respectfully. She is fucking adorable She's like probably a little bit older than my daughters, but like her attitude is just fucking adorable She got these new shoes. She's wearing everywhere. I love this kid. I wanted to fucking succeed.

She great writer. Like talk about it or don't talk about it. Yeah, it's very cool that she's, you know, I'm sure this is helping a lot of people in an in a similar situation too. But like that's what, I mean like, in all honesty, I mean the smallest sample size. When I got, when I fucked my mom and I made you into surgery, I mean, the smallest sample size. When I got, when I fucked my mom

and I made her into surgery, I called you all the time. And I remember how fucking scared I was about going into surgery. I do, I do. And like those little bits of sharing, sometimes they fucking help. And I keep saying to her, I don't say to her,

I've reached out to her once. I don't know where the fuck she even lives. I'm gonna just told her I like her story. She's so recalled. She's definitely worth snowing. Yeah, where is that? She's been in and out of the hospital with the disinfections.

I don't know what it is. Go to the top. Sometimes people write where they live. No. Paris Wemmer. Disability advocate. Wow. Yeah, I, yeah, disability advocate. Wow. Yeah, she, I think her, I think her, huffing them post, nylon, health, self,

the daily beasts, salon, wired, allure, she writes for all, she's a real writer. She's a legit writer. Yeah. And it's so, Oh, man. You know, well, she's a legit writer? Me, I got a new book out.

I was pre-order now at Tomstegorah.com slash book, drops June 14th. What are we gonna do to promote this book? What big things are we gonna do? How about this, you ready? Yeah, yeah. I would like you to do a book reading jumping out of a helicopter.

Jumping out of a helicopter? I'll go with you. Really? Yep, we'll jump out of a helicopter. Take'll go with you really. Yep. We'll go we jump out of a helicopter Take a helicopter up to 10,000 feet and we'll have your book and go all right We'll jump to hand them with dudes on our backs and we'll do a book reading to help promote the book We got to go big man. It's a fucking book. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You got to go big You can't go small you got it. You got to do something

extra large that everyone and it's got to be book like like one of the things I did when my book came out was I said if you take a shortlist picture of you reading my book at a Barnes and Noble retweeted this small small potatoes, right? Yeah, obviously and I got chicks that took shortlist pictures and I Yeah, I'll expect an allah and I but lunch chicks did and I retweeted them and they went fucking crazy. But obviously I, you're good at this. This is like your,

oh, my swing zone is promotion. You're, yes. I just, I just need shirtless out of mountain. And it, yeah, dude, how cold was that? Wasn't cold at all. No. Yeah, and I got wrecked. And you're sweating, right? Cause like you're, you're, no, no, I was was that? Wasn't cold at all. No. Yeah, and I got wrecked. And you're sweating, right?

Cause like you're, you're, No, no, I was, No, I'm saying like I've been, I've been a, years, but like when you go skiing snowboarding, you, it is like, it's exercise, you end up getting like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My body's warm. Yeah, but I fucking flue down a fucking mountain, shirtless, and it's crazy. This, if you want to get recognized as a shirtless comedian, go snowboarding shirtless down in the mountain

and everyone knows who you are. They do. The whole mountain. This is part city. This was, I don't know where this was. You don't know where this was? I've been skiing a lot lately. Oh.

What do you like? Skating or snowboarding? Snowboarding. Yeah. I like snowboarding, it just makes me feel young. Yeah. You ski and you just feel like an old person. I like snowboarding. It just makes you feel young. Yeah, like you ski you ski and you just feel like an old person I like snowboarding. I'm having done it in years, but I used to enjoy it

Yeah, those were and then here's me fuck here's me promoting a book on Instagram. Yeah, I got a new book out You should but that's who you are It's kind of genuine to your your brand of like like, you do not, it's kind of nice, because I go, my brand is I gotta get shortness on a mountain to go down a mountain to promote something and then people pay attention. It's kind of nice that you just go, hey guys, these are my glasses I bought

because I'm colorblind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta do something big for your book. For the book dropping? Yeah, like like, like, this is how my brain works, right? Yeah. Find the things you like on the internet, right? Like go on Instagram and you can really farting a lot.

I've been farting a lot. I'm like, I gotta take a shit. But your toilets here are really high. Are they? Yeah, you picked high toilets. It's like riding a horse. I didn't know that. Um, you find the thing. Does they yeah? You picked high toilets. It's like riding a horse. I didn't know that um You find the thing in finger your butt. No

No, can I tell you Owen Gray has girls eat his ass while he jacks off so cool, and I was like so cool It's so cool There's something you can like dream about you know what I Wouldn't do you realize what I would have to do to go, I need to eat my asshole as I jack off. To Italy and, yeah, what would just to do? I don't know, let's bring it up a dinner tonight. That's a good idea. What are we doing for dinner tonight? I don't know. We should wrap Yeah. Okay. All right. In closing.

Yeah. The job, your way lost challenge ends November 3rd. November 3rd, if you hit 215, I will mouth kiss you raw. That's one thing you'll get. We're also going to work out a cash prize. Per reel? Yeah. Yeah. There work out a cash prize. Peril? Yeah. Yeah. There will be a cash prize.

Okay, I'm game. Let's do it. Any, if you can withhold from choking out of bitch during sex by November 3rd. I give it up. Okay, pass, all right. Give it. By the way, I just started watching those videos, any.

What's what it is? Yeah. Is that you know that? No. No. No. And I know I'm not. It's so weird. Is he into that? Yeah. He's into your choke. I rough, rough stuff. Oh, put it on. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. You're in the choking. We'll just rough it, like a little bit of rough stuff. Like a little rough stuff, but that's a different level. So that's what I'm asking. Remember how uncomfortable you got last time we did this? Yeah.

I remember. You like to choke a bitch out, right? Yeah, of course I like to choke a bitch out, man. She likes it, it's shit. Is that a common request? You get that a lot? Every fucking time, yeah. That's right, you said that.

Yeah. They're always like choke me. Yeah, I mean, I said I expected what that that pulled to be like 70% and it was at like 60 or something when it was done. Well, a lot of guys I think voted for that. I think a lot of guys were like, oh, bitch, you love me, you're choked out. I don't want it. I mean, it doesn't appeal to me.

I know I'm not what I mean for sex for, but it's a dance, you know? It's like, yeah, it's a dance. I bet I'd like. But it's a dance, you know, it's like, yeah. I bet I'd like it if I found a chick that was in do it. That's different, I guess. Like if Charlize DeRan said, uh, said, choke me and we, she's got a big chick. What is, how's all Charlize DeRan? I'm guessing close to six, six, five, no.

Five, 10, uh, let me see a picture of her next to Mark Wahlberg. There you go. Let's see. All right, yeah. She's right here. She's right here. She's right here. Yeah.

Hold on, let me go to the one with her on flip flops. And then him and in tall boots. Yep He has hair pumped up. He's an interesting guy man He's a really interesting guy. Yeah, do you think you could get along with him as a best friend as a best friend best friend Where he goes? Hey, man, it goes. This is a minis me ready. Yeah, it's like hey Tommy is like, hey Tommy, yeah, I want to be your best friend. And he'd be like, you know how it goes, we get to have tomorrow at 3.45, like 3.45 in the fucking morning.

Like, you wake up, we work out. You got batting gloves? Come on, man, come on, dude, Tommy. Tommy, you want to go to the next level? Yeah, come on, wall burgers for lunch. All right, cool. Okay, Donnie, Tommy's coming over. But also, I think, oh man, I'll just be like, hey man, we gotta get naps, we're gonna nap today.

We don't take naps. We'll take naps, Tommy. Come on. Tommy, we'll find too much. He worked out with his daughter's boyfriend. Okay. Like you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was on it, that was online. And I was like, never. Yeah. I don't wanna talk to that motherfucker. He is a savage with the workouts dude, he really is. He's in good shape. Yeah, yeah. We could be that way.

Do you like, like, smacked? No. Really? No, I have veneers on my teeth, I don't want to hear that. I'm talking like a slap. No. That wouldn't turn you on. No. You've been in the table when I've been slapped. I didn't like it. All right, that's different. I'm talking you, I'm telling you like a slap. No. That wouldn't turn you on. No.

You've been in the table when I've been slapped. I didn't like it. All right, that's different. I'm talking about in bed. No, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like anything that steps into my personal comfort. I like being comfortable.

Yeah. I like treats. I want to come. I want to see your tits. I want to play with your tits. And that's it. I don't understand going like, I wanna choke your throat. Right.

I wanna see your eyes roll back in face. How about like a little, what about like a little, what's the little rousey, like a nipple pinch spank on your ass? I don't, by the way, I don't like too hard of a nipple pinch, because I go, that's not enjoyable, that's pain. Right, right.

A little play, a little like, I wanna, I wanna lose my stomach. I wanna, when I fuck, I wanna feel like I'm on a roller coaster. Okay. I wanna feel the free fall, I wanna feel the ride, and I wanted to lose my stomach. When I fuck, I wanna feel like I'm on a roller coaster. Okay. I wanna feel the free fall. I wanna feel the ride. And I wanted to stop.

Okay. And it usually stops at about 15 seconds. Yeah. Yeah, but it's a roller coaster. Yeah, I'm not gonna be in there for a while. I mean, Jesus. I'm gonna fuck definitely in your second house tonight. Cool, man.

That should tell me. Oh, try chokener. Don't bring it up. Just do it. That's the key. What if I can, how about, how many times do you think I can choke her at dinner tonight? And just be like, hey, and just give her a kiss, but grab her throat. And then you just giggle and you're like, oh, bro.

I think, I think the first time she's gonna be like, what the hell's going on right now? Hell no. And that ain't going on in my hometown. You kidding me. I bet you could get it, like it. What's that? I bet you could get it, like it if you kidding me. I bet you could get it, I like it. What's that? I bet you could get it, I like it if you do it. I bet you.

I only know one way to choke someone, that's to kill them. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying though. It's like you just put your hand around it. Don't like squeeze, you know? It's like just put your hand around it and give it like a nice little kiss. Like a turtleneck? Like a medium sized turtleneck.

Like oh, this is tight. Medium-sized turtle neck. That's the level of squeeze he's going for. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, just put your hands around it. No, don't even squeeze, just put your hands around it. So it's like, I want to show, I want to show. I could come next, but it's not gonna come.

It's choking popular in the recording room there. And Dove? Uh, I've been with some ladies that want it and it's all right I don't like being chucked though I would love to choke me I mean I mean no but I said that's not you did you said yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh that's cool and dov I want to have a three some with you but I choke you super cool is choking popular in the rest there yep Danny's Danny's into it. Yeah, Peter's into it. Peter's into it. It can be fun. Peter you work on me man. We don't choke bitches Everyone you're a chokes Peter you're a choker

On occasion Ryan just texted me he says no on choking Finally, we got a fucking same fucking gentleman. I bet it's generational. I bet it's generational. Oh, right. Because they all grew up on poor and were people choke each other. Yeah. Spitting their posseies. I'm into that. Don't be a fucking square.

You good luck spitting in the lians, pussy. Oh, should I try it tonight? He didn't do it in the middle of dinner. What are we getting for dinner? Are you keep asking me? I don't know. Do you want pizza? You're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like,

you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like,

you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like,

you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like, you're just gonna be like what if you spit on her coach, which you get upset? Yeah, if I went if I get down there was like yeah The fucking you doing you like I'm looming it up you spin on my cooter You slap it on my cooter

I love this character. I'm sure my wife. Dude, it's not that far off. It's not that far off. You gotta try it tonight. All right, I'll try it tonight. I'll be great for the morning. I'll tell you what, I'll do it tonight. I'll just make the noise. I go, I didn't say Haka Lugia.

And then just, and when she goes slap her with my finger, as soon soon as she's like what the hell you reach up you choker yeah yeah that's enough out of you yeah I sped on koo cheese yeah I gotta take a shit okay let's wrap it thanks for listening and watching we'll see you next time I love you Simon Bert, one goes top and swath the other, wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave No scripts to bid a booze amateur, for topology

Dirty jokes, ranchy humor, no apologies Here's what we call Two bears one cave