2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 152 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Joe Rogan
Episode Date: September 26, 2022It's another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and we have guest bear Joe Rogan! We talk about Joe beating Enny in arm wrestling right before cameras started rolling, how athletic Bert Kreisc...her actually is, and the parameters for Sober October this year. The bears talk about Mark Zuckerberg going on Joe Rogan Experience, failed attempts at canceling Joe, some wild videos on Instagram, and famous mobsters and hitmen. They review Evander Holyfield and Michael Jordan's unsellable homes, Francis Ngannou, and food based Instagram profiles. They talk about Sam's Tailor, the Fatty Arbuckle controversy, how unique Joey Diaz is, and how Joe and Tom met. Â Â https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/bertyboytourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That's why we can't have a competition, it's Bert.
If I was just competing with you and Ari,
I'd be like, you know, we'll just have some fun.
Yeah.
But with Bert, I'm like, I want you to die.
You talk so much shit.
I'm like, I'm gonna take you to the depths of hell.
100% I'm a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,. Bert is undergoing a double kidney transplant,
and we are sending him our best in lieu of flowers.
Please check out his new episode of Something's Burning
on the Bert Christ or YouTube page.
Thanks for sitting in, Joe.
My pleasure.
I hope he does well.
I hope he recovers.
He'll be fine.
Yeah, he does well.
They can do that now. They're good at it.
They are good at it.
Yeah, they fix everything.
They found, I think they found a young
Brazilian girl and they took her stuff and now a
Brazilian yeah, and now they're gonna give it to Bert
So same blood type. That's all that matters
Good luck Bert
You got you got here you checked out the new studio. It's awesome. Thank you. Very cool. And then one of the staff, as you were pulling up, said, I can't lose an arm wrestling.
And I was like, oh, that's cool.
And he goes, I want to arm wrestle him.
And I was like, yeah, you should.
And I go, you're going to lose.
And he goes, I can't lose.
And I go.
And I go, you want to bet? I can't lose. And I go, I go, I go,
you want a bed? I'll bet you.
And he goes, how much?
I go, whatever you want.
And he goes, how much?
I go, how about a grand?
He was like, all right, I'll take that action.
And then, why is this so confident?
It's part of his whole persona.
And he is like, he really goes,
he has looked at me before and goes,
if somebody challenges me to something, I cannot lose.
I am, I cannot lose.
And I said, okay.
That's a crazy, delusional form of confidence.
He is so delusional.
That wasn't even a little difficult.
Wait, say that again.
It wasn't even a little difficult. We say that again. It wasn't even a little difficult.
I let him try for a while.
He needs to be humbled.
I gave him a few seconds.
I was like, come on.
He wants to arm wrestle Bruce too.
Oh, that's hilarious. Bruce is a bear.
I know.
A literal bear.
Yeah.
You can try him next.
If he's down.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
Just try, man.
I'm good, thanks.
Isn't it a good way, though?
Don't you think it's good to have, like, for you to come in here
and kind of begin the day?
It's not the beginning of the day, but have a win at the beginning of part of
the day?
Yeah, I feel good that you won a thousand bucks.
Yeah, but I mean, that you won, that somebody goes, I challenge you as something like to have
a win, like those wins kind of tend to.
That wouldn't, it's like, yeah, but, you know.
It was too easy.
I was going to win.
Yeah.
I have an arm wrestle with anybody and like a fucking decade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are the odds?
I don't know what the odds are, but.
No, I had full confidence.
I had full confidence.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
That was so necessary.
Now we can always cite this when he goes,
it is impossible for me to lose.
Some people have crazy confidence.
It's very stupid.
That gets them killed.
It's funny, because we talk about it sometimes
how our good buddy who usually sits where he used it
is a crazy confident guy too.
Yeah, I always wonder how much of what Bert does as an actor.
Is performance?
Yeah, it's hard to tell.
It is.
I do remember sitting on your set one time
and he was like, I'm gonna run the LA marathon
and we were all like, shut up.
No, you're not.
He had no training.
Where, which was, and everybody who runs marathons
was like, you don't understand how to prepare for a marathon.
You don't just go.
You take your time, like, it's weeks and you work up in mileage.
Then you kind of work down and then you do like a half,
you do like a 10 or 12 miles, like the week before,
then you, like they have the whole strategy
and he was like, I'm just gonna do it.
And we were like, you're dumb and then he went and he did it.
Well, he does, I mean,
he regularly back then at least was running
like a couple of miles every now and then.
Yeah.
You know, he's just,
birds unusual, like you could count him out
and it would be a mistake.
I agree. Yeah, he's like, like when you and him and it would be a mistake. I agree.
Yeah, he's like, like, when you and him play tennis, like, that makes sense to me.
Yeah.
Like, that's who he is. He's a weird guy.
But that was also, he has this very bizarre skill set for like, so you do archery regularly.
Yeah.
So you, and then there's people who regularly do it, and you guys have a certain,
you know, comfort with like the whole who regularly do it, and you guys have a certain, you know,
comfort with like the whole, like the equipment and how.
But if you were to grab, if you were to grab all your friends who don't shoot regularly,
like they don't practice regularly and you go try to do this, I'm a hundred percent
certain that of that group, he would do the best.
Of people that don't practice or if you were just like, this is how you shoot it,
because he has really impressive,
I'm telling you, hand-eye coordination.
Like he has really good, like anything,
like shooting a, throwing a dart, throwing a ball,
hitting a baseball, all that stuff,
is what he actually excels in.
I've seen him play pool, he can play pool.
He, I didn't know that.
Yeah, not bad.
Yeah. And he doesn't, and by the way, he doesn't shoot pool regularly. Yeah play pool. I didn't know that. Yeah, not bad. Yeah
And he doesn't and by the way, he doesn't shoot pool regularly. Yeah. No, he can tell yeah. Yeah He's a if he wasn't such a drunk, he'd probably be an amazing athlete
Right, don't you think? Yeah
Yes, which is why it kind of brings me to
We've had we skipped it last year, I don't know if we skipped it
a year before, we've been talking about doing sober October.
And I like the idea that you mentioned, I think we should talk about it briefly, which
is obviously we do sober for the month, which is two birds benefit.
And then we have, it can go crazy if we go challenge style, right?
You particularly go into your dark places in your head.
If we did that, we did that that one year. Yeah, we were so crazy. And you're pissing brown.
So let's not do that. But it was how about like something that is a challenge, but a task that
like there is no kind of winner. There's just do you do it or not? Right.
And what you suggested was maybe we wear their straps again and everybody has to do a 500
calorie a day workout.
Yeah.
Every day.
Every day.
Every day.
Every day is a week.
Here's my question.
Here's my question.
If you do it, let's say you go in the morning and you get some lift in and it burns, let's
just say 200 calories.
Do you then have to just do 300 more?
Or do you?
Okay, so it's just 500 a day.
Okay, okay.
I feel like that's fair.
I think it's fair, not too crazy,
because I know you like to do two workouts a day.
So if you did like your lifting and then you did your cardio,
you get it in.
You can get it in.
The thing is that consistency is like seven days a week.
It's like when we did the hot yoga challenge,
we had to do 15 in the month, which pretty reasonable.
Reasonable.
But towards the end, I think I owed like nine
and so I had to do nine days in a row.
And after a while, you just get in this crazy groove.
Yeah.
Or like you're just, you almost kind of like the fact
that it's torture.
Yeah.
Except the fact that you gotta do it.
I was thinking last night about this 500 calorie day thing,
and I thought, I almost predict how it goes,
which is the first week you have the enthusiasm
and the momentum that you're excited, right?
The second week, the enthusiasm starts to fade,
and the third and fourth week are really the grind of it.
We go like, I got a fucking shit, it's day 23.
I got to do this thing.
You know, the last day you're gonna miss it. You're You're gonna, on the last day, you're gonna miss it.
You're gonna be like, ah, yeah.
Because you're gonna be ripped.
You're gonna be in crazy shape.
And you're gonna feel it.
And you feel that sense of accomplishment.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's a really good one.
And for me, I have the benefit of,
I finish October then I shoot my special.
So it's really good for me.
Oh, you be shredded.
I was kind of fat and I'm special.
So I just got back from Italy.
Oh yeah. I got up to like 2.11 in Italy.
Really?
Yeah, I'm like 197, 198 now.
I got up to 2.11.
How did you drop quick?
Yeah.
You just ate.
I just eat clean and work out a lot.
How clean did you not eat in Italy?
I ate like a pig.
It's pasta.
I got drunk every night.
It's the best.
That is the best. It was fun. I don't think it's a better indulgence every night. It's the best. That is the best. It was fun.
I don't think that's a better indulgence in pasta.
Oh, it's the best.
It's the best.
And you know, I don't eat it most of the time.
And I was in Italy, so it's just like in Italy.
In Italy, fresh, some fucking grease balls
making it in the back.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So I went straight from that right to my special.
Now, did you pick where you're gonna really have it?
I haven't decided yet. I haven't decided yet. Do you ever talk to, did you pick where you're gonna really have it?
I haven't decided yet.
Do you have any talk about what you did?
No.
So it's a secret.
I filmed in two places.
I'll say it on this show.
I filmed at the Chicago Theater
and then I filmed at Stand Up Live.
So you went from one of the most beautiful,
large, it's large, just 3600th Theater to a comedy club.
Yeah.
So you're debating.
Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out what I like more.
The problem with the comedy club is there was too many people talking to me.
They wanted to, they were too close.
They wanted to be like a part of the show.
We had to shut up three different shows.
And I told them before the show,
I'm like, please, I'm filming, don't talk.
They don't care.
People still talk.
They're good.
Because it's people in the front row.
They're like, you're right there.
The front row.
The front row, I walked out of my stage in Connecticut on Sunday in the front row they're like you're right there The front row I walked out of my stage in Connecticut on Sunday in the front row
This guy started like yelling out quotes when I go. It's great to know where the dumbest person the audience is
Thanks, thanks for sitting up front
And he went like this
Yeah, Connecticut is always dumb. You always sit on Connecticut. It's the dumbest place in the country.
It's not a real state.
It's a highway between Boston and New York
and it's filled with people that have no hope.
Oh, holy shit!
Dev, no hope.
I've never heard somebody go out.
It's just for harder on Connecticut.
Well, I grew up in Massachusetts.
So I worked in Connecticut all the time.
And every time I'd leave Dev, I'd be like,
what the fuck?
I'll tell you this though, I did Mohican's son, Arena,
and it was a fucking blast.
Yeah, I was sick.
I was mostly people from New York.
A lot of mass people.
Yeah, there you go.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Connecticut people are probably like,
what's there for love and that?
Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
One of my best friends, Tommy Jr.
He still lives there. I've been friends with him for 30 Jr. He still lives there.
I've been friends with this guy.
Yeah, I've been friends with him for 30 years.
He still lives there.
He's from there?
Yeah, I'm shit on him every time I call him up.
It's so fun to shit on a play.
I mean, I hate Erie Pennsylvania so much.
Erie Pennsylvania.
Such a fucking dope, a bunch of losers.
It's a depressed town with a depressed economy.
And if you live there, you know you're a fucking zero. Just get out.
Yeah.
Just get out.
Get out.
But if you're fucking born a place like that, you're doomed.
It's what the fuck do you do?
It's not unique with it, with their cities
that just have a complete style of it, like Louisiana,
like New Orleans.
Oh, yeah.
Complete style of its own.
Absolutely.
You might as well be in another country. They're doing it in Miami. Yup. A complete style of its own. Absolutely. You might as well be in another country.
They're doing it in Miami.
Yeah, complete style of its own.
And I also feel like San Francisco, when you get into the real city of San Francisco.
Yeah, where all the human shit is.
Yeah, that's a totally different.
Well, the bomb shit is.
Yeah, a lot of bomb shit.
Fucking ruined that.
That's a lot of white human shit.
A lot of bomb shit and a lot of Asian shit, too. Yeah, a lot of white you ruined. A lot of bombshit and a lot of Asian shit too.
Yeah, a lot of that too.
Yeah.
But fucking, that city is lost.
That is a lost city.
It's just been, it's fucking, it's fallen apart.
It's progressive policies taken to the furthest degree possible
and you see the ramifications.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
It's fucking fascinating actually.
It's wild. You let them go. That's what they make. Do you remember we were there and there
was in a fucking hotel with others a hotel fire? Yes, with Diaz. Yeah. That was pulled down the
elevator. That was before it was a homeless pool of diarrhea. It was still like a city that had like
that was like it was an exciting place to be. Yeah, it was like two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning,
the alarm goes off and we all shuffle out of our rooms
and we had to go down the stairs
and everybody was like slowly going down the stairs
and I am freaking the fuck out
because I'm planning it out.
I'm like if there's real fire, I'm running over everyone.
I'm like I am not gonna, these fucking slow pokes
that are making their way down these stairs.
Yeah, I was just freaking out.
I was just like, I'm just gonna start running
on top of people.
I'm not gonna do this.
I remember the genuine panic that I didn't feel a panic
when I, oh, the alarm was like, okay,
it's when I got in the stairwell
and saw how, first of all, they were narrow
and full of people.
Single file, single file, old like 1,800's building.
So real like, like people were tiny or back then.
So you're in this little last staircase
and people were just taking their sweet time
going down the stairs.
This is a fucking fire.
Yeah, yeah.
You gotta go.
You gotta go.
And people are gonna die in fire.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's not good.
I know.
I would have, I think I would have thrown an old person
like out of the way and down and stepped on them
if I had felt the heat a little more.
And then we found out that it was just
somebody had pulled the pin on an extinguisher.
And so the smoke that you don't really process
at the time, like what kind of what type of smoke?
It wasn't smoke from fire. It was like that smoke that comes out of an extinguisher. Yeah. Yeah.
And we got all the way down the end. We're trying to figure out where Diaz was and Diaz popped out of the elevator.
They told us very clearly don't take the elevator. Don't take the elevator. Joey took the elevator. Yeah.
What do you think of my fucking wall?
Yeah. Took the elevator like a doctor. Yeah.
You're like, what are you doing? Yeah.
Shut the fuck up Tom. So go on.
Okay.
Yeah. San Francisco. They ruined that city. He's,
that's he's never coming back. He's, he's, he's, he's shared a cigarette with me outside of cobs. And he's like, he's never coming back. He's, he's shh. He's shh. He shared a cigarette with me outside of cobs.
And he's like, he's like, I'm seeing that cigarette.
I was like, okay, and I gave it to him.
Then he passed it back.
And then I gave it to him again.
And then I go like this, he goes,
what are you, a fat, go buy a pack of cigarettes.
I was like, okay.
It's mine.
You apply him, you know, it's like, all right. Oh, that's hilarious.
Okay.
That's how fucking original human being.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to get him to move here.
I know.
You think you can?
It's going to be tricky.
He's like the king of New Jersey.
I went places with him everywhere.
He goes like, a Joey, Joey's here.
Remember the video I sent you of him walking out on stage at my show
and it was amazing.
Yeah, that was at the performing arts center in Newark and there was he
hadn't been on stage in I think 18 months he said yeah.
And he just walked out.
They went nuts.
They went nuts.
I should share that video.
It was really, really cool.
And then he came back.
He goes I'm having a fucking panic attack.
He sat because he was like so ripped up.
He sat down and was like,
Oh!
Oh!
You got him back in.
Yeah, yeah, he's in now.
I did that arena in Atlantic City with him.
How was it?
It was great.
We did two nights.
The first night, you could tell,
like you hadn't been done a show remotely like that.
He had done like a hundred ciders.
He'd done like, you know, some little comedy clubs
and so he was like a little, you know,
just kind of getting his feet back in the game.
But the next night he fucking destroyed,
Saturday night he destroyed.
It was wild.
That's awesome.
Yeah, it was wild to see.
He's a fun guy to watch through that stuff.
He's the best.
When he's on, I've never seen anybody funnier.
Yeah.
I've seen a lot of funny people.
I've seen better writers.
I've seen great joke crafters and craftsmen,
but nobody's funnier than Joey.
I agree.
Also, like at a dinner table, there's just like.
He's the king.
Yeah, it's just like, just, we get the check.
Yeah.
It's just, it's like,. Yeah, it's just like just we get the check
He puts on a show When he loves you, you know like he's around people who loves it. You're free. Yeah, he really loose. Yeah, it's fantastic
By the way, I want to ask I didn't see it, but you had
Zuckerberg on yeah from Facebook. Yeah, did you guys talk about banning like does that come up like there?
Yeah, we talked about well, we talked about censorship.
We could actually become an issue because he actually said on the podcast that the CIA
or the FBI rather had contacted him or contacted Facebook to tell them about the Hunter Biden
laptop story that it was Russian disinformation. So the FBI actually had to make a statement
about something that was said on my podcast.
So the FBI, which they never talk about anything,
they never make statements, they release a statement
saying that what Mark Zuckerberg said was incorrect.
Essentially.
Really?
Yeah.
Because the FBI, if I have from
under saying this correctly, the Hunter Biden laptop story was
let's say trending and being talked about FBI contacts Facebook
and says, this is this is misinformation. So don't let this put
it in your algorithm to not let this explode. Yeah, I don't know
if they gave specific instruction, but essentially what was
happening was the New York Post had put up the New York Post had put up this article.
And Twitter had censored it completely.
Like you couldn't share it, you couldn't post it, you couldn't send it in a DM.
By the way, they do that.
By the way, there was something that I tried to send somebody in a DM and I couldn't
send it in a DM.
They had made that article unavailable to share even in direct messages.
That was a different article, but it was something like that. And so Twitter completely censored
it. It turned out it was absolutely a legitimate story. And Facebook said he had some version
of what he said. It sounded like he was, you know, his kind of candy coating it is basically saying they censored it, but they
didn't censored it. You know, like, well, we took a different
approach. We limited its dispersal or limited its distribution,
but I don't know how they do it. There's like he, he, what,
when he said, he like said it without revealing too much of
what their whole system is, or how they shadow ban things, and how they...
It's really interesting how it feels like...
I understand one thing is that these are private companies, right?
Meaning, like, these are...
This is not the library.
So companies can do...
But it feels like the social media platforms are kinda inconsistent with when they flak,
like fucking Christus Stefano,
I just saw posted on his Instagram
that like his last three posts got flagged
and taken down from Instagram.
For what?
And they're just like podcasts, promotional things.
It's so strange, yeah.
So maybe somebody has a hard on for them.
The problem is so much of it is,
isn't that, like pull his up.
Yeah, it's, yeah, see, like,
and that was just like,
Bobbie Lee and Santino,
but it was like also the previous ones,
were also flagged too.
It's just very strange.
But I think if someone just decides that you're a problem and they put you in a cat,
and the thing is how much leeway do employees have?
It's clearly not being done by AI.
This stuff is very subjective.
So a lot of these kids that are working in these tech companies, they're coming
straight from universities and they're super woke and they think that people like to Stefano or
people like you or me are a real problem. You know, people who joke around about stuff. This is a
real problem. Yeah. And joking around about serious things. They can't be joking about. Oh my God.
The thing that, you know, you probably lose track of this all the time
because it happens to you like every day.
But when I did your podcast last,
and we talked about homeless people,
oh yeah, it said, you go, you go,
I think we should shoot him and I go,
I like your ideas.
Yeah.
And then news outlets, yeah.
Did they took the, it was end quote.
It was like, he says this, Rogan says this.
Tom says, I like your idea.
These guys are endorsing violence against home
and then they go and then it happened.
A homeless person was killed
and this is what these guys are.
This is what these guys are.
I didn't even aware I was under fire.
That's what's hilarious.
I didn't even have any idea.
Didn't pay attention.
And I made all.
I got messages of like, I cannot believe
that I supported you and that you advocate violence
against the homeless.
You got messages?
Yeah.
And I didn't even repulsive.
I didn't even tell most of those people, look at this repulsive podcast comments that
you remember.
But it's awesome.
But we should just explain what we actually said.
Right.
What I actually, we were actually saying is that if you shot them, no one would care because
they don't do anything about violence.
Right.
That's what we're saying.
We weren't saying you should shoot the homeless people.
We were saying, like, you can't touch their stuff.
Like, they're allowed to leave.
In LA, that's considered actual personal property.
And they'll arrest you.
Arrest you for touching this stuff.
I go, but they won't do anything if you shoot them.
If you, I go, maybe we should shoot them.
And there's a huge spike in actual violent crime.
Yeah.
And to be clear, I was part of the group that paid to have the homeless people that
were on Caesar Chavez in here in Austin drown in Lake Travis.
So that's why you have clean streets.
I spent a lot of money doing that.
We tricked them, we got them onto a boat, we said they were going to paradise, and we just
dumped them off the back and they drowned in like Travis.
That was me.
That cost a lot of money.
Thank you for doing that.
Yeah. I almost had to do two shows to pay for that.
But imagine someone saying...
Imagine someone saying that they thought that we were serious.
I mean, they'll say about this.
Yeah.
100%.
It's just like out of context.
But all they do is get more people to listen.
They don't understand that they work for you.
When they do stuff like that, that's the still average.
By the way, they still understand.
They do it to you so much.
And all that happens to you is the audience grows and grows and grows and they're still
like new article.
We got them.
And that's like a new numbers come out.
And it's like there's 20 million listeners.
It's like how are you not figuring this out yet?
They're not paying attention.
And also it's like almost like they're in a trap
because the way they get clicks
is to talk about someone that's controversial
and or popular.
Yeah.
So that they do that and they just make you more controversial and more popular.
Yeah. It's all it does. It doesn't work at all. It never works. No, it's like poison that point.
You shoot. But here's the thing. It's somebody. Some editor publisher at one of these publications.
Savvy enough to get that. No, they wouldn't be there. They'd be independent. They're all
fucking idiots. How many good independent journalists are left? There's a few, but they're all writing for like
sub-stack now. Yeah. I mean, there's people that are really good at the time. There's people that
are really good at the times. There's people really good at the, not the LA times. LA times is empty.
There's people that are really good at like the New York Post and the Washington Post and
that are really good at like the New York Post and the Washington Post and you know the New York Times. The Wall Street Journal still has like good journalists. But they're just
infected by this mine virus, this woke mine virus that's like spreading through the country
where people just can't look at things realistically.
It's very weird.
I just watched, I was watching my cousin made this series called The Big Con on Apple Plus,
and there's a Wall Street Journalist who investigates a guy who was, I think in like,
Eastern Kentucky that had the biggest social security scam in the history,
and the way that they discovered the story, it's so fascinating.
He's going through, just like writing this journal, this is writing just boring,
Wall Street Journal budgetary things, right?
And he's going through social security
and then he's going through how often
things are approved by judges.
So the way it works is somebody applies
for like social security,
like medical disability or something.
And then they have a judge in each county
that hears a case and the percentage of times
that they approve would usually vary between 40 and 60% and then there was a judge in this
county who's approving 99% and he was like, that's weird.
And so he goes and he finds that this lawyer and that judge were in kuthuts and they had
a $500 million scam.
It's fucking fascinating.
Yeah, it's fascinating.
Whoa.
I'm not sure.
But that's a journalist who actually saw a number
and was like, oh, yeah, there's real journalists out there.
But it's like the people that are writing about us,
the people that are writing about podcasts,
they're just trying to get clicks.
It's all it is.
It's like a little hustle.
And if you say something, they could just take it
out of context and decide that it was a repulsive call to violence against
homeless people. Instead, just a joke commentary about the fact that although they'll arrest
you if you move someone's dresser from a freeway underpass, they won't arrest you if you
shoot somebody. Which is really crazy. Yeah. And then you, I mean, dude, the violent crimes, they're capturing on video now.
I see so many videos.
I saw this crazy mugging in London, in L.A.,
it's the spike in violent crimes is through the roof.
Did you see the car one in New York this week?
Which one?
Where a car did like tactical,
like precision tactical when you ram the side of a car,
like the way that police are trained to do it.
He did it twice, then came out,
then someone jumps out of the passenger side
of the car that rammed, grabs somebody,
like hits them, grabs a bag, gets in and speeds away,
and it's all on video from the side.
Well, it is insane.
And this is in broad daylight.
I believe in Queens.
Have you seen this video?
It's all over the internet.
Wow.
For sure, I think I saw it on,
I saw it posted everywhere,
but it on, on Rappaport's page, on Instagram,
he posted it, a bunch of people posted it.
It's a,
Well, you let people think or know that there's no consequences for crime, they just
go ham.
It's, it is really scary.
It is that one right there.
It's that one right there, yeah.
This is not a movie set, right?
So that black car rams that car, right? Unperfectly.
And then this car hits another car, speeds away,
and the black car comes back again.
And that is like precision.
That's like trained on how to do that, right?
Then this guy jumps out of the passenger seat.
Shitty camera work.
Yeah, they're probably scared of death.
Panicers. Yeah, look're probably scared of death. Panicers.
Yeah, look, he's got a gun.
Okay, smack somebody on, or the window on that side.
Grabbs, eventually, he's got a bag now,
gets in there, and it's like,
see you later, that's broad daylight.
Oh, wow.
It's insane.
Pretty impressive. It is impressive. Impressive that they didn't fuck the car up either. I can't believe that part. Yeah. Car than made well now. But he, he
knew how to do that too. That's not like, no, that's like a real criminal. Yeah, that's a skill
or a person needs to be a cop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's when it gets really weird when cops become criminals. When they just give up and they realize like, fuck this.
Yeah.
I ran into a lot of, um, oh.
20,000 dollar heist and Upper East Side.
Man, he did more than 20,000 dollars with damages car.
Fucking no shit.
You know, what did he steal?
Thieves rammed a car and you know
to be installed $20,000 from its disoriented driver during a brazen upper
Eastside robbery Saturday in a dramatic scene that something out of fast and
furious the black Mercedes slammed onto a silver Toyota RAV4. The Mercedes
initially slammed onto the RAV4 second avenue. 55 year old man driving the
RAV4, I've been driving northbound. Okay, scroll down
and is he coming from the bank or something? Have some rest.
All right. The Mercedes. Oh fuck, one person started saying,
an armman and a gray sweatshirt, bang on the window, he's got a gun, he's got a gun. Yeah,
but what did they take?
That's the car.
That's the car that they just, they must have abandoned.
The specifics may not fit 20,000 in cash.
They must have known that there's people.
Oh, someone was coming out of a bank or something like that.
You know, that was a big problem in Denver when they first started legalizing weed because
in Denver when they legalized weed, they didn't legalize bank transactions via credit card
So they weren't allowing people to pay in anything other than cash
So these people had to take large sums of cash and then transport it
So people are getting tailed all the time. Yeah
So then they started hiring like mercenaries to travel around so guys would like have a hours and fucking ooze
And shit and they would be driving with these people with the cash and they would follow them in cars and flank them and protect them
Yeah, wild because they'd have a million dollars in cash because they were doing insane amounts of profit lines around the block
Do you remember those early days when we first became legal in Colorado?
Yeah, yeah, it was pretty wild it was And so they put people in crazy danger because they were saying,
you can't use creative cards. What? Yeah, that was just like a city thing. It's illegal.
Pat illegal. It's bad for you.
Here's the question. It's bad for you.
Do you want to arm wrestle now?
I'll be even better now.
Uh-oh.
He doesn't want to rematch.
Nah, you don't.
Why do you want to do that to yourself?
Go for a walk about.
A cheat?
I get something to action.
Oh, you got it. I got you guys. Okay. We're good. We're good. We're good.
Zola, we're good.
So fun. I pulled up these Instagram accounts that I'm totally geeked out on all the time
now. Just to show you guys.
So this one, every got dangerous.
Oh, I saw that dude. Just dude.
He's great. He's out of mouse chewsets.
Is he? Yeah.
You know what's great about him is that when you have a kettlebell and you learn,
I learned basically, you know, you get used to five or six movements.
And you're just like, these are the movements.
Right. And every time I go to his page,
he's doing something I've never seen or considered.
And it makes it way more fun and exciting.
And just like, yeah.
You know, a cool thing to learn.
He's really a badass with these things.
He's incredible.
And he's all kettlebells.
And what's really interesting is occasionally
he'll do dumbbell stuff.
And you realize like, he has crazy strength.
And it's all just from these kettlebells.
Like he doesn't do much dumbbell stuff when he does it.
He's ridiculously strong.
Really?
Which is very interesting.
Like he could probably beat any two in an arm wrestling match.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it'd probably be both of us for sure.
Look at the size of him.
Yeah.
He's fucking jacked.
Yeah.
But it's also like the movements he does are very interesting.
Like he does like a lot of like twisting movements,
like you know, single, split, squat, twists,
and yeah, like this kind of stuff.
Yeah, like those like sideways.
He did this one where he was holding the handle
and he twisted and went down to one knee,
turn back, I started doing that.
But I never, that's my point.
He's like, I'd never done that or thought of that.
Yeah. And then I saw him do it. I was like I'll do that
That's one of the dope things about Instagram's that you you can save videos into a folder
So I have a folder just start training and I have a bunch of his videos in there fantastic
And it's all like different different training modalities. I got to start doing it
I've never done that. Yeah, it's really cool because I've won for jujitsu
I have won for funny things like things that I find that are funny. Yeah, yeah
So I save them. That find that are funny. Yeah.
So I save them.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, because you can make a little folder.
And the folders exist in your photos or Instagram.
No, it's in your Instagram.
And you can save them if you have videos and you want to save them.
All you do is you use a repost app.
So you use the repost app and it just saves it to your phone.
And you don't have to repost it. Right, yeah, you just save it.
Yeah, I've just put a lot of videos like that
when I see something horrific.
I'll rip it and then I'll send it to an adopt
through it in his day.
I take it off, I get it before people can pull it down
because there was one the other day where a crocodile
had a person in its mouth.
Yeah, a dead person, you want it?
Yeah.
Hold on a second.
And I was like, oh, they're gonna pull this one.
I gotta get this one.
Man.
Yeah, here I'll air drop it to you.
Okay.
Hold on.
Is it going through? Here, try it yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on.
Let's see
Yeah, that one's rough
That one's rough if you want to save send it to your producers, but the thing is like oh my god
Dude the thing is like I think I
It's definitely real and I think I think it's in South Africa.
It sounds like, listen to his accent.
It sounds like Australia or South Africa.
Which one do you want it to go to?
So they have it listed as alligator
in this little video clip, but it's definitely a crocodile.
And the guy has an accent that,
is it going through?
I don't know.
I hate you so much.
It's not working.
I just texted it to him.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
So somebody, I think Eddie Bravo actually sent me this.
That one?
Yeah.
He sent me that one.
That is insane.
And the moment I saw it, I was like, oh, I gotta save this one.
They're gonna pull that one.
Quick, yeah.
It's fucked.
It's like, it's pretty, it's pretty obviously a human.
Yeah.
You see the face and everything?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's pretty bad.
All right, what's the other, oh,
do you follow any good food accounts?
This is the opposite of training.
Oh, yeah, good food. Do you follow? Yeah, I follow that guy. He's a guy that cooks steak and butter anything. Yeah, he's like he's like pull it up
There it is
See everything get some volume on it. You're doing this while I'm talking about Google foods
Can you hear it? We're gonna have a talk after this.
Go back to that guy, the video, please.
I wanna see if we can hear his accent,
trying to figure out what his accent was.
Cause I heard it on my phone, it wasn't that clear.
Yeah.
But I don't think you should show this.
No, you definitely can't show this.
I think also that might be a young person in his mouth.
You think so?
Yeah.
Here, let me.
It's hard to say because it's all fucked up.
It's like, that's the reality of living in those places.
You know, in Florida, just in the last like a few months,
there's been six alligator attacks.
Really?
Yeah, I remember it happening when we lived there,
but not that frequently.
There was a teeth, no, no, they're overpopulated bands.
It's fucking alligators everywhere.
All right, let me hear.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, that's hardcore, dude.
You go, but it's good.
I'm gonna pump.
The pants are still there, yeah.
The pants are still there.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is harder to watch now. Yeah, it's different when you get it on your phone. Yeah, arms are gone. One arms inside is Nick the other one's gone
Jesus, dude. Yeah
It's like he's showing us, man
It's like he's showing us, man. That's it.
I'm the mix of it.
Yeah, it's a child.
Oh, is that a doll?
No.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just the corpse.
Really?
Yeah, it's not a doll.
It looks too creepy.
Like, if you go to the, like, when you see the face,
there's st-
There's like, yeah.
It's so creepy that
it just, it's given, it gives you like a visceral reaction. Yeah, yeah, that's so creepy that it just,
it's given, it gives you like a visceral reaction.
Yeah, yeah, that part, I don't like seeing the face now.
Really bothered me.
Dude, that is a reality of living anywhere near crocodiles.
You can close it.
There's a guy named Jim Shockey.
I had him on my podcast.
He's a professional hunter from Canada.
Yeah.
Like one of the fucking manliest men that's ever lived. Like a manly man.
And they hired him to go shoot crocodiles in Africa.
Because there had been so many people killed by crocodiles.
And he went.
They went to kill crocodiles in Africa. And while he was there,
one of the local village women
was pulled into the water by a crock and killed.
It was so common.
He said everybody in the camp was like missing.
And arm had a chunk taken out of their leg like everybody.
How much, how many did he kill?
He definitely killed one.
It was one that was a big one that was targeting the people.
I don't know if he killed other ones.
Jesus.
But I know they hired him to definitely get rid
of this one big crocodile that was a real problem
because it was feasting on people.
Have you ever been,
because I know you hunt,
have you guys ever been felt threatened
by what you're hunting?
You're always in danger if you're in the woods and there's mountain lines.
You're always in danger.
You've never had a direct encounter.
I saw one last year for the first time and it was from inside of a truck and it was about 30 yards away and it was fucking huge man.
I'd seen two mountain lines every before and both of them were fairly small.
I saw one of them in Colorado.
It looked like it was about like 50, 60 pounds and one of them that was in Monocedo.
That also was like 50, 60 pounds.
Like just maybe 70 pounds, not that big.
Big freaks you out, but not like this motherfucker.
When I saw it was like 180, he was jacked.
Like thick fucking forearms, man.
Like these giant ass forearms
and this big pumpkin head, and we were in a truck.
And my friend Colton goes, dude,
stop, there's a fucking cat right there.
And we look over and it's like just starting to get dark
out, not quite dark out yet.
And I see it's glowing eyes
from the fucking headlights of the truck.
I'm like, holy shit.
And even from inside the truck, I was terrified.
And I got binoculars on it.
So I make inside the truck 30 yards away pretty close
and I'm looking at it through binoculars.
I'm like, right at it.
And I'm like, what's you, it's like a demon.
It's like a demon.
It's a giant elk killing demon.
Nothing brings, like if you're not there
experiencing that in person,
nothing brings that to life
like that nature is metal account.
Oh yeah.
That thing is, I mean, everybody follows that.
That's incredible.
But you see shit on there.
That you never see,
and it's, what I love it,
here's the favorite thing about that page
is that it's, here's the reality of nature.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like everybody's perception of nature is all the things that are pleasant to see.
Right. That's what people go, that's what nature is.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah.
We get confused.
And we think about animals like the animals that we love.
Like pets.
Dogs and cats.
We love animals.
Who doesn't love animals?
Yeah, like those people are on a safari
and they see a lion take down a sepoh.
It's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
You know, they're just like,
oh, and there's a shit ton of those videos out there.
Not so many.
So many.
The worst are the wild dogs that eat like gazelles alive
and they're just gutting them.
One of the things they're screaming.ting them while the things are screaming.
This has one one that you see where I think it's, I forget if it's coyotes or hyenas or
something, pull a rabbit out of a hole, three of them together.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You see it?
Yeah.
And then it just disappears.
It gets pulled in three pieces.
It's insane.
Dude, and I was in Alberta, one of the guys that I was there with saw two bears fight over
the cubs because the male bear was trying to eat the cubs.
That's what they do.
They attack and eat the cubs.
They kill them all the time.
And so the female fights off the male.
The male gets a hold of one of the cubs and kills it.
The female chases the male off and then she eats her cub.
And he was like, whoa.
Wow.
He's like, I never saw that before.
That's.
Whoo.
He's just not there for that often,
but that's just what goes down.
I feel like I'm having the emotional experience of like when you see a real drama,
like a really good dramatic movie and you're like, oh my god.
How crazy is that?
All those people have AIDS and died.
Like, that's how sad I feel.
You're horrible, that is.
That's horrible.
It's so bad.
That kind of life is the craziest life that exists on earth.
Where you just eat your kid the moment it's dead.
Oh my god, dude.
And they will fight to keep their kids alive.
That's what's crazy.
Like the moment their baby's dead,
they just say, okay, guess I'm just kidding.
I guess I gotta eat now.
I know that lions, especially males from,
like you know, that join a pride,
if they become like the top lion king in that pride,
just killed all the fucking offspring. Oh, yeah. So that it's theirs from the beginning.
Yep. They kill all the offspring, particularly kill all the males. They kill the young males.
It's like, but the young males kill the old males too. That's even more horrific sometimes.
Oh, it's slow. Going after the slow one. Yeah. It's fucking the pride up. Well, they get to the point where an old lion
can't control the pride anymore.
And the way they lose the pride is they get fucking mauled.
They don't give it up.
They get mauled.
So, and it's often like two, three on one,
the other cats will jump on them
because he was like the asshole that like ran
this whole thing.
It's like when Whitey Bulger got transferred
to general population.
Right.
They beat him with a padlock and a sock.
We're being a fucking rat piece of shit.
And he was like 80 something years old.
I used to do Taikwondo with a guy that was one of his hitmen.
Seriously?
Oh yeah.
Back in like Boston.
Oh yeah, back in Boston.
He asked me, I was in his instructor.
And he asked me like,
you're gonna kill somebody, where would you hit him?
And I go like, I guess like the neck.
He goes, yeah, the neck I think.
I think.
Now I knew that he was involved
in some sort of organized crime at the time.
I didn't know like to what extent.
But then afterwards he got arrested for murder.
Wow.
Yeah, he went to jail for being a part of all that crazy South Boston.
There was a one organized crime,
she has main fucking right hand guy, Hitman,
who does all the documentaries about it.
Uh huh.
He's free because of his testimony. This is always wild
me, but I think he's got 19 bodies. Isn't that crazy when there's someone who's done
that and they're like, yeah, but they, they gave us good information. So they get to
live in society. Wild. Like when, when Sammy the bull, like, wild, it's wild, right?
Yeah. Like, I get weird feels like that. a while. He gave us like he gave us good
information. Yeah, that's a weird world, but that South
Boston mob world, that's the reason why Dana White moved to
Las Vegas. Really? Yeah, yeah, to get out of Boston. He's
talked about it a bunch of times, like they were threatening
his gym. They were threatening him, like, you know, they wanted
him to give the money. And he's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. That's a good move
Yeah, and that was that was all the whitey-bulger crew and then when you find out that he was an FBI informant
You're like what I know and like they let him get away with murder like what?
It's an amazing. He was murdering people. I made holy shit for how long?
Yeah, and then he gets caught because his girlfriend and
him getting a fight in Santa Monica. She's like yelling at him. And everybody's like,
Hey, you okay? What's going on? And then it winds up, you know, holy shit, that's
whitey bulger. Yeah, there was a neighbor who, who I think she was actually Icelandic.
That's a crazy thing to remember if that's true. But I think she was actually Icelandic, that's a crazy thing to remember if that's true.
But I think she was Icelandic,
and she's the original FBI tip call.
Oh, wow.
It was a...
So she recognized him.
Yeah, she had befriend it, I think, the woman.
Oh.
And made the call.
And yeah, and they were doing things like,
like they had all just a hole in the wall
in the apartment with cash in it.
Like that was their bank, you know?
And do you know how he got an identity?
This is fascinating.
How?
He was living in Santa Monica
and he would go to the park
and he slow played a homeless guy in the park.
Like didn't tell him who he really was, but told him
one over his confidence would bring food, you know, something to drink, be a sympathetic,
empathetic ear about this guy's story. And like, over time, over time, eventually, like,
and I, you know, this is basically, I need an identity. I need to, so how about I'll give
you this money. And then I get your, you this money and then I get your state ID,
your social security number, all this stuff,
but I'll pay you for that.
And the guy did the deal.
So that's the identity he adopted.
And that's how he was able to kind of live and move about.
So someone does that.
What happens to the original person?
I don't, I think he was kind of resigned.
I think at least the theory was that he's resigned to
a life that is out of the system. So how about I take over your life that's in the system because
you're out of it. What? And here is here's here's money to compensate you and I've befriended you.
This isn't like one conversation. Right. We're working on this for a month. So there's a long con. It's a long con.
There's a lot of that. That's the thing that people have to realize. Like there's people out there that are really good
at like whistling their way
into your life and stealing enormous sums of money. Also, you're in business with them. Yeah, we just so I just found out
um, I can't give away the name, I don't even actually remember
exactly it, but one of the guys that works on Torbj,
his friend, he's been touring forever.
And so he just found out that the bookkeeper
for like a bunch of bands has been,
just got arrested by the feds, or like a bunch of bands has been,
just got arrested by the feds stole $3 million. Oh!
Was the bookkeeper and the way that it was discovered
was one of the band's managers,
who she again is the bookkeeper for like a few,
a number of big bands, New that there was a card that he he's like, this is a card that's for me.
And if I do XYZ on the tour, you know, and she keeps the like different cards for different purchases.
Anyway, he never used it.
And like over over a course of like months, had never had a transaction. So she knew
it was an inactive car. Like it was a car that worked and wasn't in but not being used by the
sky. Right. One day he just out of the blue goes to use it. And then he's been using it and sees just pages of massive purchases.
Pages for months and months and months and months
and months, so she's using it and then using like band funds
to pay for it.
Had this whole scheme going and they said like,
they tracked her for a while,
this is like a, once you do a certain, over a certain amount,
it's considered a major crime.
Yeah.
So even in white collar stuff, it's pretty wild.
And she's taken, I always think of that dainstory,
you know, like how his brother took his money.
What is it that's so exciting about like,
stealing money that way for people?
It must be such a thrill when you're getting away with it.
Absolutely.
And both these stories have similar things,
because I learned about this woman,
and I remember Dane saying this about his half brother,
that they had a site like two lives going.
So in front of you, like a front of the person with money,
it would be like jeans and a T-shirt and like just,
ah, you know, I hope I can,
fuck, I don't know, man, I broke my glasses,
I hope I can get a pair at the pharmacy today, you know?
And then, but away from you,
they're staying at like five star hotels.
So it's that, the thrill also I think is like,
in making you think this.
Yeah, they're spies.
Yeah, they're spies. Yeah, they're spies.
They're undercover spies.
Like, like think about the lady who recognized Wadi Bulger
and be friends to girlfriend and then makes FBI tips.
Like also, she's in a movie.
Yeah.
Her boring ass bullshit life is now, instead of that,
the apartment complex she has is harboring fugitive.
It's so much more exciting.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, every day's that thrill. It's gotta be. It's so much more exciting. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant alone just with piles of money on the back. He he he he he he he. Going on like these vacations,
yeah, buying jewelry and shit,
buying purses and shoes and
going on of its yours.
None of its yours.
You're just stealing,
come here, come here, come here,
and you just have no plan
like you're thinking,
how am I gonna get out of this?
How am I gonna get out of this?
I remember that.
Have you watched that show,
American Crime Story?
What is that?
No, American Greed.
Sorry, it's called American Greed.
It's like one of those, you know,
it's like there's like a blueprint
for like the same voice over guy.
And it just profiles these stories
of white collar crimes basically.
And they had one about a guy who got a job
in accounting for one of,
I think it was one of America's oldest
cookie or cake makers,
like a family company that did well,
not like Hershey's, but like did well
and had this book of business that like, you know,
was somewhat popular, he got a basic accounting job
in this, let's say, 100, 200 person business.
And the show profiles how eventually he was, he would, he was a, you
know, using the funds of the company that had an outdated accounting system. Like they
didn't have modern accounting. It was like handwrite this. Oh, no. And he was able to take
advantage of that. And he would write like two checks, but only write one of them in the book,
so there was never anything being flagged.
Anyway, over the course of a few years,
it was like six, seven million.
And he was doing that thing,
where he had pictures of him and his life on Jetson.
He was like,
he was like, living it up, and then he jumped to work
and be like, ah, shucks, my camera's not, I gotta get new tires.
You know, I'm dead.
No idea, no idea.
And he just gets away with it.
Why do you post pictures on social media?
No, but they eventually found photos when they,
they said when he tried,
when he knew the cops were coming after him,
they were watching him.
And he ran, and he parked on the side of a bridge,
and he ran down to a creek, and he just put Rolexes in the creek and they were watching them. And he ran and he parked on the side of a bridge and he ran down to a creek.
And he just put Rolexes in the creek
and put rocks on them.
He's the fucking idiot.
You know?
They're like, there's all these Rolexes in the creek.
That's him.
That's him.
That's the guy.
That's the guy.
Episode one, or sorry, season, is that a one or 11 11 episode six season 11
Thing is when people become obsessed with stuff
They become obsessed with like jewelry and houses and watches and and and planes and shit like that
like that kind of
Insatiable desire for constant new and improving things. That is not sustainable.
It's not sustainable.
People go nutty, and if you go nutty and you're stealing money,
and you're in that trap, you're in that constant
needing the fucking new Bentley, needing the new thing,
did you get the 2023?
That's the good one.
You never want the 2022 anymore.
Yeah, 20-rate that you got to turn yours in.
2022 is bullshit.
I just talked to somebody about this too,
about how he's an athlete, pro athlete, 20 right, you got to turn yours in. 20, 22 is bullshit. I just talked to somebody about this too about how he's an athlete, pro
athlete, and how when you start, you give the means to buy something and you're like,
I got to get this thing. Yeah. And it's the first time that you can actually buy, like,
let's say a high ticket item. Right. But you find that even though it's cool and you might
like it, it's not full of dreaming about it was more of a thrill than purchasing it, most a lot of the time.
It's fulfilling, excuse me, it's exciting, I don't feel that it's fulfilling, it doesn't go like,
now I'm complete. It's just one of those things that it's so hard to imagine that you could get it.
You could get it, yeah. That's part of the, that's a big part of the excitement, like I'm
somebody that can get this. Yeah, yeah, you get excited because of the fact that you could do it.
But at the end of the day,
like I remember this, I was sitting in this apartment
that I had in North Hollywood
when I first moved to California.
And it was like way nicer than any apartment at Everbad.
It was at a loft,
because when I was on television,
so I had a loft apartment and I had a pool table
in my living room,
like this is the greatest way to live ever.
The greatest, ever, yeah. And then I realized like after just a few months,
I was sitting in and I go, oh, I go,
this is just home.
I go, you get used to whatever.
Like you get used to everything.
So that's felt like my apartment back in New York,
which was a shithole.
Like it wasn't that different.
Yeah, I adapt it.
And I was like, this is interesting.
This does not make me any happier
to be in this nice apartment,
which is that other.
And I realized like, oh, it's just like,
your home is just where it doesn't matter.
It's just, it's a trick.
It's just these unattainable homes,
they seem like so preposterous.
And yeah, I'm sure it's great
if you've got a nice view
or if you have a big yard or something like that.
It's great, but it's still just a home.
It is.
And the amount you pay more for like a crazy home.
Yeah.
And then people like dedicating everything
to have the nicest home in the neighborhood
so they could show off to all the other people
in the neighborhood, they want to have the bigger one.
It's a big thing for a lot of people.
And also just the sheer size of somehow,
like it's almost like everybody goes, and also just the sheer size of somehow.
It's almost like everybody goes,
this is in my bandwidth, her spectrum.
I go like, okay, enough.
And then when you see it,
that some people are into building a 25, 35, 40, 50,000,
you're like, what are you doing?
A 50,000.
How about a Vander Hillley Field house?
The one that Rick Ross lives in now. It's the craziest house ever.
What do you do with that?
It's a fucking castle.
What are you doing with that?
He had a room with like,
he's got 50 bedrooms or something crazy.
I know.
How many bedrooms are in that fucking,
but look at the size of that fucking place dude.
Exactly, that view.
I think it's on like some crazy amount of acreage too.
Look, I'm not hating you.
I'm just saying.
100 room. What the fuck do you do with you. I'm just saying. 100 room.
What the fuck do you do with this?
It's just get 100 room.
There's some amazing.
I mean, there's parts of a house
that are normal size.
You go, you know, we don't really use that room.
You're like unused.
I feel like so much of this house doesn't get traffic.
But that's come from the mind
who is the boxing heavyweight champion of the world.
You know what I mean?
It's like the kind of guy that thinks he's gonna conquer everybody with his hands.
Sure. That's the kind of guy that wants to live in a fucking castle. I'm a vendor. Holy feel bitch.
I'm the real deal. Build me a fucking castle. He probably wanted people throwing roses at his feet when he walked.
You know, I mean, why not? Yeah.
Those guys go crazy. When, when, like a guy is a conqueror, and he gets unlearned some
Chicago home, you ever seen that one? I have. I think it's been on the market for years.
Oh, I, I did see a YouTube video about how they can't tell it. Yes, they, it's been on
haters. A bunch of haters. It's a pretty wild. I mean, look at that. It's, it's been on haters. A bunch of haters. It's a pretty wild.
I mean, look at that.
It's a pretty wild.
The top left one though.
Or that one, yeah, that one.
This is just not in a good area.
I don't know, look at that.
Why can't it sound loud?
Who the fuck wouldn't want to live in Michael Jordan's house?
I know.
That'd be the dope his house to own ever.
It pretty much would be.
Are you kidding me?
It just used to be Michael Jordan's place.
Yeah. What?
You couldn't tell when you saw 23 on the gates, bro?
That's, it's gotta be worth a lot more.
Look at that, 23 in the gates.
That's gotta be worth a lot more than a red dress, man.
If you were a fucking giant Michael Jordan fan,
you lived in that area.
Why wouldn't you buy that house?
It's gotta, I think it must be crazy over a pot.
For a price of 29 million is a lot.
That's a lot of money.
It's a lot of money for a house. Yeah, it's hard to sell at $29 million a house.
The point is, it's like,
it's really a four.
To Michael Jordan's needs and desires.
Yeah, it's real specific.
I'm sure, I'm sure there's a basketball court in there, right?
Oh, 100% there is.
It has to be full basketball court in there.
There's probably a couple less golf courts.
In the back.
A little course.
A cigar lounge.
Yeah. It's probably sick as fuck. Look at that place back. Little course. Sagar lounge. Yeah.
It's probably sick as fuck.
Look at that place.
Look at that.
Look at that.
He's got a fucking beautiful basketball court.
Yeah, it's got that, oh that glass there is very 90s,
you know, on the other hand.
I think the most extravagant luxury you can have
at a house is a home gym.
It's the best.
Home gym, yeah.
Having a home gym is the fucking best thing ever.
Yours is great.
It's anything like that.
Like, you get, like, I have the Sornex equipment.
That's the same ship, Bert has.
And it's like, just the fact that I don't have to go anywhere.
Like, yeah, that's the best part.
Just walk open the door.
I put that, that's what I love.
I put that torque, that tank in my shirt.
Torque fit this tank in my backyard.
So I'm just pushing and pulling that thing
across the backyard and in the heat. And it feels like, I, that's a shit. Torque fit in this tank in my backyard. So I'm just pushing and pulling that thing across the backyard and the heat.
And it feels like, I keep thinking about farm work.
I'm talking to you about somebody who got to want to farm.
So I'm just pushing and pulling that thing, man.
Well, some of the great wrestlers of our day
came from farmland.
Yeah, you know, just like think about Iowa,
like some of the greatest wrestlers of all time come from that farmland. Yeah, you know, just like think about Iowa, like some of the greatest restrooms of all time
come from that farmland.
Every year in college football,
there will always be some a few freshmen
and different teams throughout the country
that they'll be like, yo, this fucking kid
is built like a brick shit, you know, bench like 550.
And then the story's always, he grew up on this farm
in Nebraska or Kansas and he's just
a fucking house.
Just a house.
Yeah.
With unnatural strength for an 18 year old.
Strong enough to beat any at arm wrestling.
This is, this is, yeah, when you grow up doing manual labor.
Yeah.
Like that's Francis and Gano.
You have see Heavyweight Champion?
That guy is a fucking just just, doesn't seem real.
Yeah, he's a super athlete.
And he, when he was a child,
he had to work in the sand mines.
That's so, like a real person.
I know, it's crazy.
He's such a fucking freak athlete.
He's 270 natural.
And it's harder than, it's harder than anybody.
But level and athleticism.
Yeah, he it's hard as fuck.
He holds the record for the hardest punch ever on this machine.
There's this machine that you can punch or kick and it gives you a reading.
Yeah.
You know, there's, I think there's a video of him doing it.
Jesus Christ.
But yeah, he holds the record
show the hardest punch that they've ever recorded on that.
Punching.
I forget what the machines call.
We have one at the studio.
Yeah.
No, it's not that one.
Not that one, really.
It's like a thing that like, it's mounted to a wall.
New record, look at that one, new record.
Yeah. The top above.
This guy is monster.
The amazing results today.
Francis demonstrate a punch in power just over.
What is that?
What is he saying?
129.
World record punch.
But if you watch the way he chaos people,
it's 100% believable.
Really?
Yeah, he might be the hardest hitter on earth.
If he was boxing, if he just,
if he had just gone straight into boxing.
No, go back to video selections.
Top one there, that.
Yeah, if you think about guys like Deonte Wilder,
who's arguably the greatest heavyweight knockout
artist ever.
Huge power puncher.
Huge.
Deontay Wilder, at one point in time, I think his record was roughly somewhere around 39
and 0 with, I think he had 38 knockouts, something along those lines.
He had one decision where he beat
Bermain I forget his I forget the dude's name, but anyway He beat him by decision in the first fight and then he KOed him in the second fight and the KO in the second fight is crazy
He's got his hands down standing in front of him and he just walks towards me and cracks him
It's nuts like he gets this guy hurt and just goes wild. It's one of the wildest K.O.s
You ever seen and you see how hard he hits.
So hard.
He hits so fucking hard, but he's a guy
that won a bronze medal in the Olympics,
like a year and a half in training,
like no bullshit.
Really?
Yeah, like he had very little training
and all of a sudden he's in the Olympics,
and he medals.
Like his power is just like from God.
It's like he's a from God power.
Deonte or Deonte?
Deonte.
So if a guy like that exists, then a guy like Francis,
like if a guy like Francis just went right in the boxing,
no MMA ever, doesn't have to learn how to kick,
just has to learn head movement,
learn how to put punches on people, learn, head movement, learn how to put punches on people.
270, natural, giant, insane power.
His overhand right generated 129,100 or 0.162 units.
And the off balance uppercut was 1,22.000 units and his speed power of 51.064, which is equivalent to 92.84 horsepower, which is the
same amount of a small family car, huge amount of the knockout power enough to lift 240
pound heavyweight off his feet.
That's fuck.
That unit that 129,161 units, that's like a normal person, like a good kicker.
That's like what a good kick is like.
Yeah, yeah, it's similar.
The one, 22?
129, that's a screen.
So his overhand right is like a kick.
His overhand right is like a right high kick.
It's that thing about how big your fucking leg is
and how much power you can generate with your legs.
That's what his punches,
his punches the same level is like a really good kicker's kick.
He could knock any out.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
I mean, the guy doesn't lose when he challenges him.
No.
No.
No.
What if, and Ghani wadding here and he was like,
you can't knock my ass out?
Like that was the challenge.
Yeah, you couldn't.
You would hurt yourself.
You would hurt yourself on his body.
Yeah, no.
Did you see him in the new Jackass?
Did you watch the new Jackass?
No, I didn't.
So fun.
It's so fun.
It's amazing, but I get anxiety when I watch
guys hurt themselves.
Oh yeah, there's that, you'll have it throughout.
But there's so many funny moments.
But in Ghanu punches, who did you punch?
That guy's so funny.
I'm fucking forgetting his name.
He punches him in the nuts.
Oh!
While he's wearing a cup.
No!
Yeah, it's fucking, what's this dude?
Danger Aaron.
Danger Aaron?
Yeah.
He's so funny.
No. Aaron, don't do that. And yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no.
No, yeah, this is from the trailer. But man, Angano punches him in the nuts while wearing
a while wearing a cup. And whatever. There you.
He's like, that's not even a good cup. Oh, man. No! He's like, what the fuck, man?
Francis told his life story, his origin story, like moving, like out of Cameroon and getting
to Morocco.
And it took 18 months.
18 months?
18 months.
And he basically just hitched rides, walked, figured out how to get to Morocco,
and seven times tried to cross into Europe, and seven times got arrested.
And every time they had arrested...
Oh wait, rewind that, sorry.
Every time they had arrested them, they would take him to the middle of the desert and drop him off.
And you have to make your way back to Morocco.
It's the craziest story.
And I hate when there's not enough ice in my ice coffee.
But who doesn't?
I mean, he hates that too.
I like it a proper amount of ice.
That's what it showed this time.
Yeah, sure.
All right, here it was sound.
No, it was probably from the bottom.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He waited to
before theatrical release to come
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh first I first he has to watch
away rewind a little more. I like
that before he does this he has
press play he has to watch him
hit a heavy bag. Like like I was
before that.'re like standing around
Yeah Because you know what's gonna happen to you, but you see him
Dude the amount of power that Francis can generate is it's insane.
And again, he was a child working in a sand mine.
So he's like 10, 11 years old, digging sand all day.
You want to talk about something that would strengthen your body.
It just all day.
So all day, his body is exerting all this force all all day and it's recovering and healing and getting stronger and thicker.
I mean, and then he learns martial arts. You already has incredible genetics, super tall. Yeah, big as fuck.
And then he's got this incredible base of strength.
Not just from genetics, but from fucking hard labor, hard labor.
Yeah. And then learns how to punch and realizes
he can punch harder than anybody alive.
So crazy.
So, dude, I wonder.
And he's like really gentle.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
Do you see when, uh, when, when, he went in the ring
after a Tyson Furifai and they're
actually on a high-pitched potential match?
Yeah.
And that's a furie.
He's like, you got a big cock. He's like, what is he?
I got a big cock.
Because he's like, you got a big quarry?
A big quarry, okay?
And then God is like, huh?
And like, you know, like, you got a big one.
He's like, I don't, no, don't do that.
Dude, Tyson Fury is hilarious.
He's so funny.
He's called a video of Usic.
Have you seen that?
Oh, no.
Go to Tyson Fury's Instagram page.
He's like, you're a little bitch.
He called me out, mellowate. Tyson Fury's Instagram page. He's like, you're a little bitch. Calling out mill weight. I do a terrible Tyson Fury impression,
which one? I was at the one with the glasses on. The sunglasses on right
there. Click on that one. You're going to love this.
Middleweight. You say you want the WBC and it's held by Gypsies. It is held by Gypsies, it's held by the Gypsy King and
It's held tightly grasp tight and all road leads to a seven-foot bear moth that will absolutely destroy you middleweight
middleweight you will get smashed to bits
You say you wanted to fight me after you beat the bodybuilder
Call me out on television and now you be a little bitch pussy boy.
We're on in.
Hiding.
Saying you've got injuries.
You ain't got no injuries.
You're at a sparring contest.
Get out and fight in December.
You let your mouth go.
Now let's back it up.
See if you can back it up middle way.
Does it matter if it's December or April or August next year?
The outcome will be the same.
I will obliterate you.
I'm a 7 foot 20 stone bear moth,
and I will destroy you, middleweight.
Find your balls, come say me.
Bitch.
Who's that?
Middleweight.
Alright, that's good.
That's good.
He's a bear moth.
Imagine saying that.
I'm a bear moth.
I'm a bear moth.
What is he saying?
Behemoth. That's a behemoth? Yeah, he's trying'm a bear moth. I'm a bear moth. What is he saying? Behemoth.
That's a behemoth?
Yeah, he's trying to say behemoth.
Oh.
He's not trying, he's saying it, but he's saying it with his accent.
I don't even say an a bear moth.
No, he's a behemoth.
That's what I thought he was saying.
He's like, I'm a seven foot 220 stone.
Bear moth.
Behemoth.
No, bear moth.
Bear moth.
Yeah.
Behemoth.
Is that what he's saying?
I swear.
He's definitely saying behemoth.
Okay. Yeah, he's.'s saying the master of accents.
Whatever the word was, it was even,
maybe we should start calling people bearmuffs.
I'm a bearmuffs.
Bearmuffs pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bitch, I'm a bearmuff.
By the way, he's a hilarious guy.
Google Foods.
Right before we watch somebody's head get eaten
by a crocodile, this guy, you said you're familiar with him.
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw him.
He baked a steak in mayonnaise. mayonnaise, yeah, I saw him, uh, he baked a steak in mayonnaise.
Manays, yeah, I saw that too.
Yeah.
He does anything that anyone basically goes,
well, what about if you, if you made a steak this way?
Right.
And then he does it.
Yeah.
He'll like boil them in butter.
That, if you scroll up some, that one in the middle there.
Yeah, that's the Mayo one, I think.
Yes, that's what it is.
The Mayo one would happen if you cooked, yeah.
Yeah, so he put the steak in mayonnaise,
completely covered it in mayonnaise,
and then baked it in the oven,
and then when he pulled it out of the oven,
then he seared it.
I think, or he might have like flamed it.
I think you have put it on a grill.
Did you put it on a grill?
I think so.
I watch so many of these channels now,
I forget these, too,
but there's so many good, like, steak cooking channels.
There are so many, but this dude, and I also love that
he always has like a sample moment in, and he's like,
damn, like, he's like, my shit.
Yeah.
Oh, so look at him.
I'm saying that.
That is fantastic right there.
Really good.
Why is it so satisfying?
I don't know, I love his enthusiasm. And everything looks,
going to go to another one.
Do you know about the chef bros in Turkey?
No.
Do you know those guys?
There's these brothers in Turkey
that are chefs in their own Instagram.
They're really interesting.
And they are next.
All their cooking is seafood.
These guys just all cook seafood.
I love watching.
I love watching anybody cook.
You've watched men with pot, right? Those guys out in the woods. Men with pot? Men, I think men
with pot. No. Men with pot. I think it's gone. Is that, am I right? Men with pot? No, this
is it. See? And every video is like this. It's like a, it's like a guy in the woods. And
it, like, check this out. Like, you'll start, gets everything that's for the fire,
but then it's always cinematically, like, you know,
put together, like, it's edited well,
and it shows every stage of them prepping this food,
and they always use, like, that big, hatchet-style knife,
like, it looks like he's making salmon here,
but it always, you know, it's like romanticized right out in nature cooking.
And it always ends up looking amazing.
And you always go like, I wanna do this.
And you're like, just no fucking chance.
I'm gonna do this.
Like even the way it just rolls has the camera film,
the knife cutting.
Interesting.
You're in nature.
And it's like every two seconds you get a new thing
to look at.
It's like an MTV music video.
Look, the treat and you look like you're a dummy.
Don't you think, dummy?
Look, it's for Instagram.
No, it works great.
It's exciting.
There's another guy follow,
come on, I wanna eat that salmon.
What is it, cooking with fire?
There's a, I think it's cooking with fire.
Cooking with fire?
Yeah, I think it's cooking with fire. Cooking with fire? Yeah, I think it's cooking with fire.
Hold on.
But this dude, it's all really good Mexican food and really can't,
why is my fucking Instagram not finding anybody?
Hmm.
You ever have find have a hard time like this?
You're guys searching for people?
Yep, that's him.
Cooking, I have had that before.
Such a pain in the ass.
Strange.
So this dude makes some amazing shit.
And it's done in that same way.
Like very fast, like you get to see exactly how it's done.
Every two seconds you get a new thing to look at.
Like that.
That seems to be the formula for these kind of things.
Whenever you see meat,
by the way, that reaches this state, you always go, I gotta go eat steak right now.
Yeah. Always. I know.
I know. Or like these brisks. Oh, my God. Look at that.
Shit, fall apart. Yeah.
That's one of the things that's so big in this town.
It's brisket. Oh, my God. Yeah, barbecue in this town is no joke.
It is no fault. You know, it came from German people?
No. Yeah.
It's Germans, Germans, they're moving through Texas,
they, like, German smoke sausages and stuff
that they were making Germany.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
And then they kind of, and then they added,
like, this Texas flare to it and became the barbecue
that you know and love.
I love a bespoke suit.
So there's a couple of tailors, I follow.
I know that you've worked with David August.
Yeah. And he makes great suits. And I love that day that you went to you did a show and you got
suits for you and the boys. Yeah. So all you guys looked so clean. It was dope. A guy in a suit,
it's just always a bespoke, nice suit. Yeah. Always looks great. This guy though, this guy makes, there's like a real tradition of tailors in Hong Kong.
And a lot of them already went to those guys.
Yeah, I ended up going,
there are a lot of them are second third generation.
And in my experience, I've seen a lot of people
from India bringing that over,
but bringing it over a couple generations ago,
and then it being passed down.
So you see a lot of Indian-born
tailors in Hong Kong.
It was also a big Indian population in Hong Kong.
Right.
But this dude,
that's shit.
This is darkening.
Today, we are here to talk about his ass.
That's good, hilarious.
We have to slowly add a brush.
Put a ridiculous approach to selling sins.
I know, I'm starting with the jacket.
I made this jacket.
It is the most sensational fabric you have ever
laid your eyes on.
Can we zoom in and see this incredible two-tone.
It's not funny.
It's enthusiastic.
It's a chair.
It's fun to watch. I have him absolutely gift wrapped in here is his
Donald duck back look at that Donald duck bugs bunny what is this a kick
plead can we zoom in a kick plead roping on the shoulders but nothing
it's also like a terrible yeah inside what is it about like people that are
like super enthusiastic about shit that make you like excited
Enthusiasm is contagious. I don't get enthusiastic about suits
But now I am but now you are now we got me now you go like the guys legit. He's super legit
That's it but he's also inappropriate. That's the best part. That's the best part
It's you can be inappropriate and good at what you do, it's like bring Kevin Spacey back.
Ah!
The guy is fucking amazing.
That's the best actor of a generation.
Pretty fucking good actor.
All he did was harass some people on set.
Why the fuck are you an actor
if you're not gonna be able to harass a people on set?
That's the reason you become a star.
In his day, that probably was.
Yeah, for sure. That's probably really, that's probably really it. Yes. Like, that probably was. Yeah.
For sure.
That's probably really, that's probably really it.
Yes.
Like they all did it.
All of them.
Can you imagine what the Dean Martin's and not because we're like, well, you've heard
about like Fadi Arbuckle, right?
You heard about the Fadi Arbuckle was like a gigantic movie star at one point in time,
but apparently he stuck like a bottle up some girls with giant arms. Oh my God. And it broke in there and she she wound up dying.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Find the find the story.
There's something really wild like that.
But he was like a super famous movie star and then it was over.
OK.
Is this a Coke bottle?
What was a Coke bottle?
Virginia rap, so it seems like it's a known person.
Can you make that text bigger?
Was the biggest thing in Hollywood
who's accused of a heinous rap and murder
of a notorious party girl?
Is the Doreen public wanted him strung up,
make it even bigger.
He was one of Hollywood's biggest stars,
adored by millions,
be charged with murdering an aspiring actress
after a shocking orgy.
Jesus.
One minute, I'm the guy everybody loves.
The next, I'm the guy everybody loves to hate.
That's what he said after he got pinched on murder charges.
What's the deal?
Oh no.
She died, okay, so she was examined by a doctor
who concluded she was suffering from alcohol poisoning
after drinking too much boot, leg, liquor.
When she died four days later, a woman accused
our buckle of raising the renet beauty
and accidentally crushing her bladder
during a drunken sex session, Jesus.
All it looks like, trade him,
the prosecutor intensely ambitious man-made
public pronouncements of our buckles guilt
before the trial on pressured witnesses
to make false statements.
All right.
Well, ultimately the judge found no violent,
oh no, excuse me, no evidence over it.
What about the glass?
I don't know.
Maybe there's, if you keep going,
maybe there's a story.
That's the bottle.
That's the bottle.
So is the bottle story like a fake story?
I don't know, because the rest this article
doesn't really mention it.
Why doesn't it?
I don't know, go back.
Let's also, let's ask.
Is that like when those bullshit rumors? It could be the fatty Arbuckle scandal. It's from Neo. I don't know for finding any.
So she died from him collapsing on her just his weight. I'm not sure. I don't think I got it.
Is that really what this is a better source here? Okay. Arbuckle used a piece of ice to wrap her story that quickly trans more verified into the
scene use of a coconut pole or wine bottle.
He used a piece of ice.
Yeah.
Other witnesses testify that Arbuckle had actually used the ice to rub on her stomach as
it means of relieving her belly pain.
Scroll back up though.
So he didn't do that.
Let's see.
A little more.
All right, planned to throw up party.
He brought the hefty supply of bootleg booze,
according to a witness,
our buckle and wrap down three more gin and orange wine
drinks together when he pulled into one of the adjoining rooms
of waiting for you five years I've got you now.
Scroo down within an hour, she claimed to hear screaming enter the room.
He opened the door, clad in pajamas, wearing Virginia's hat.
I am dying.
Oh, Raf was on the bed, I'm dying, I'm dying.
He did it.
The hotel doctor and nurse were called.
They moved right to another room to rest for a few days.
She had a ruptured urinary bladder.
So I guess we're trying to find out how that,
so it sounds like her agent, the woman who died,
agent made the story worse by claiming
our buckle used a piece of ice to rub for us.
Don't know if it was just an attorney saying this
or whether that's actually what happened.
So a piece of ice.
Yeah, and jammed it up there.
Oh, like ice sculpture or something. Or yeah, like you know, a piece of ice. Yeah. And like jammed it up there. Oh, like
ice sculpture or something. Or yeah, like, you know, pointed piece. Maybe Jesus. Oh,
maybe ruptured her bladder with that. And then it got the story got fucked over and spun
around. Yeah. You know, one person tells it to another and then it became a glass. It's
crazy. Um, he was only 266 pounds. That's it. It's crazy. He was only 266 pounds.
That's it.
That's crazy.
Yeah, they're talking about his considerable size.
People were so small back then that a guy that big was a fatso.
260.
260, I think it's a scroll back up to where it said because it mentioned the weight of
his body.
Yeah, he was more than 266 pounds, ruptured her bladder. That's not even that big
That's not that big. No, not not today. That's what's crazy like back then. It's like holy shit
You ever see those old-timey carnival places where they have like the fat man
Yeah, you can see the bearded lady and the fat man's like a regular guy
Yeah, in this world in today's world for sure. He's not that fat at all
in this world, in today's world, for sure. He's not that fat at all.
Um, he'll get, that's Fadi Arbuckle.
Yeah, I mean, he's kind of chubby.
Yeah, he's chubby.
He's a fat guy, but I mean, like, not compared to today.
That was noble.
That's a regular guy at Disneyland.
That is, I know.
You know, there's nothing freaky about that.
Who's like, what, I eat, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have my big gulp. You couldn't
even call him fatty, our buckle today. No way. No way. And also if he did lose all the
weight, everybody would be like, you know what? You were beautiful when you were big too.
You didn't need to lose any of that. What if you were a fat guy like him? You called yourself
fatty. Would anybody be allowed to say it? That's the only time that people are allowed
to say like fat Joe who lost their way. Right, right.
But yeah, I think you said that.
You can get to have the name.
Because he said it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of, there's that.
But if you just said Fat Bert, that's rude.
He actually said that he came out as fat.
Really?
Yeah, like the people come out of the closet, he goes,
I came out as fat, so I own it.
Well, I think what Bert loves more than anything. It's partying.
And if he can party and maintain a usable form,
like a functional form that can get him
to where he needs to go and get him on stage,
he's good to go.
That's what I think.
Bert wants to cook the good time to continue.
The good times we'll roll with Bert.
Yeah.
And so he sacrifices.
But guess what? What? They're not fucking rolling in October, buddy. October. Yeah. And so he sacrifices. But guess what?
What?
They're not fucking rolling in October, buddy.
October, bro.
We're going hard.
It's called the No Fun Month.
All right.
Every single day, we've decided you have to burn 500 calories in an exercise.
Not just like calories during the day, that's easy.
That's easy.
For 500 calories in one or two workouts.
Okay.
Yeah.
We're in.
I think that's fair.
I think like, especially for guys that are real busy like you, you know, get a workout
in.
Maybe you don't have time for like an hour and a half workout.
Maybe you have 20 minutes, but you can do 30 minutes before you go to bed.
Yeah.
And you split it up.
Yeah, you split it up.
And we wear straps again.
Yeah, we wear straps.
What's the best strap for measuring the amount of calories you bring?
Because it's not that important.
For most people
in their workin' out there looking at like their maximum
heart rate and like that my zone thing that we use
on the first over October.
That thing was great.
But does that measure how many calories you burned?
Good question.
I'm sure we did.
Pretty sure it did.
I'm pretty sure.
I mean, it has to come down.
It does my zone.
It comes down.
It comes down.
It does measure calorie burning.
Because with those things, you put strap,
you put in your weight, you put in all these factors, right?
Do we have to answer a bunch of questions?
Or was that the whoop?
I think they probably.
The whoop does that well too.
My zone accurately calculates calories burned.
Okay, go.
Perfectly.
Does the whoop accurately calculate calories burn as well?
Don't remember that.
That's easier.
Does it keep that there on your wrist? That's true. As you see, they work out. Don't remember that. That's easier. It does. You just keep that thing on your wrist.
That's true.
As you see, that work out.
Yeah, remember, and we probably still have that
sober October group.
It also gives you an estimate of how many calories
you bring throughout the day, based on height, weight,
and heart rate.
Hmm.
Yeah.
The problem with sober October is generally,
I have a hunt month or a hunt week.
And so, I could rack up big names.
Ari got really mad last year.
Oh yeah, yeah.
So you fucking 600.
How do you use it?
You've got 600, it's only 11 in the morning.
How do you think a penny pensioner will do?
You think he'll participate too and get those in?
You mean, are you saying Ari?
Yes.
Oh, I'm not sure if you're here.
I think you'll participate.
I think you'll probably come in, you know, like hot.
He'll be very excited about doing this.
We'll talk a lot of shit.
Talk a lot of shit.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Bert will come, Bert, that's why we can't have a competition.
It's Bert.
If I was just competing with you and Ari,
I'd be like, you know, we'll just have some fun.
Yeah. But with Bert, I'm like, I want you to die.
You talk so much shit.
I'm like, I'm gonna take you to the depths of hell.
I'm like, you have no idea.
When I set off my alarm in my gym,
because I sweat so much, it's set off the fire alarm.
I was doing seven hours of cardio,
and I was, I watched John Wick 50 times.
I just kept watching John Wick.
Just getting through that thing.
Yeah, kept watching John Wick.
That's fucking right.
You're just fucking, yeah.
And think it a burt.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
There's so many great clips
that are gonna come out of this online.
What?
Well it's like, I'm like, perk.
You make a choice.
There is no mistake.
There's no loser, that's the thing.
Yeah, that's the thing.
We can't have a competition.
Those were the most fun ones.
Like that one was just too crazy.
And my wife didn't like it either.
It's like, I became obsessive.
You know, I think we all did.
We were working out hours and hours than every day.
I got real sick during that month.
But you still came back and ran fucking 13 miles
right after being that sick.
Yeah, that was also 13 miles.
The only reason, of course, I would have done that.
I did that is that this, we were all competing.
And you were like catching up.
You were passing people.
Bert came in last.
Ari was fucking coming at it hard.
He liked it too.
I also saw a side, that's the thing about competition,
is it like brings out things in people.
It showed me a side of Ari,
because he really got into competing.
And he enjoyed it.
I think he really enjoyed it.
All right, I know you gotta get going.
So, I'm excited about this sober October.
It'll be fun, it'll be fun man.
Hey, does Vate pens count?
Cause I think this thing gets me high.
To be discussed.
Cause we had a conversation last year about cigars.
Oh, that's right.
cigars kinda give me a buzz.
I think you got it.
I think you have to allow cigars.
Okay.
Then you get a buzz.
Cigars.
Coffee and a cigar, I'm feeling pretty good.
Cigars, butt plugs and coffee are allowed for October.
Thanks for coming to my love you. I love you to death. Thank you Butt plugs and coffee are allowed for October. Ah, thanks for coming, dude. I love you.
I love you to death.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for watching.
I love what you've done here, man.
It's incredible.
I love what you're doing with everything.
With all of your podcasts, Danny Brown's podcast
is fucking hilarious.
He's so fucking funny.
He's so funny, man.
He's like a comment.
You know, he stood out front after our last live show
and did a rant.
Like, you know, Joey does, just did a rant
that had everybody in tears and I go,
you just, I go, listen man, I know how this works.
You could go on stage and you could just say that could be,
that's a bit and he goes,
I don't even know what the fuck I just said!
Yeah!
Just record and play it back to him.
It was so good.
He's like a Joey Dears.
Like he, you know, Joey was always the funniest guy
in the parking lot.
But that was the thing.
And Joey figured out how to be the guy in the parking lot
on stage.
And it was like an exactly, that's all I told him.
Tell me, were you there during that time?
During the time where he really got good.
You know, you came around 2007, he was already murdered
by then.
Yeah, so I was after that.
This is in the 90s man, in the late 90s.
Like 90, I met him in 96, I believe.
And I think right around like 99, he figured it out.
Really?
Man, it was like, he hit a switch.
And he had just decided that, oh,
that fuck these agents, he's cock suckers,
they're not giving me shit.
He was always trying to audition for a television show.
He always wanted to not be too offensive when he was on stage
because he thought maybe he'd get cast in something
and then he just fucked these people.
And he went on stage, I mean, it was almost like,
it was like one night.
He went on stage one night and talked to us,
talked to the people in the audience,
the way he talked to us in the back park alone.
And then it just, and that was it.
That was it.
And I'm telling you man, it was like he hit a switch.
Yeah, there's people you see, I'm so glad
that he figured that out because he, yeah, I mean,
I've told the story before,
but one of the first times I toured with you,
we were backstage and like you would bring bring three of us to open for you.
And we opened and we were just sitting around
and he was like, so where's Christine this weekend?
I go to Christina.
She's in Nashville.
He was like Nashville, 1987.
And he just starts telling this story.
So all he had to hear was the city or was Knoxville. 1987 and he just starts telling this
He had to hear was the city or was Knoxville. I got this guy tied up in my truck, dude, and I
I'd never hung out with him. I had no idea what was happening. I was laughing so fucking hard Oh, man, and then I made him retail. We all got into a van after and I go tell them that he's like, tell what I go
The fucking craziest story I've ever heard in my life,
retell that again.
About Knoxville, and he's like, oh yeah.
And he's like, he's got so many stories.
He's got so many stories.
He never runs out of them.
Is there any room?
He does, with a simpler.
And they do, and like most people go on that show,
and they go like, here's my story.
Joey has so many stories that they have a,
like, it's a series, and's a year, it's by year.
She's like, they've done like eight episodes.
He's like, all right, we're in 1992 and he'll do like 1992 for two hours with Ryan.
And then he was like, when we come back, 93, so good, that's how they do it.
It's so good.
It is Joey being Joey telling all these wild stories.
Yeah, you can't make a guy like that.
Like they exist so rarely.
He was in people, some people know the story
but some people don't.
He was the reason why I took two people on the road with me
because I would take Joey in the road
but Joey would go off on benders
and he would not show up.
And it would happen, you know, not always,
but it would happen enough that you had a plan for it.
Right.
And so a couple of times I'd use local openers
and then eventually I go,
I'm just gonna bring three people, just three of us.
This way, if Joey doesn't show up, it's two-man show.
Joey shows up, it's a three-man show.
Yeah, this is-
No big deal, because I just didn't wanna fuck it up.
I could not believe you told me that,
because when you're opening and somebody big
Says like you can open for me. It's so it's so exciting But it's also like you're so thrilled to have a job. You know, cuz you're trying to find you're always trying to find good show
You're going from maybe you have one good you get I am one good show every few months like you're doing good
You're on good shows all the time. Yeah, I'm proud and so you just are so thrilled
Yeah, that someone's taking you and that you're getting to see,
like you're getting to perform in front of real crowds.
And that you go, one time, Joey just called,
I was like, where are you?
He's like, it's Sunday, I went home.
And you're like, dude, we have a show tonight,
he was like, I don't do Sunday shows.
And I'm like, to be an opener and be like,
tell somebody like, yeah, I don't do that.
Joey knew, I loved him unconditionally.
And he knew, he was troubled, you know? Yeah. And he knew knew I loved him unconditionally. And he knew he was troubled, you know?
Yeah.
And he knew I loved him no matter what.
That was so funny.
That was, I just told him,
just you show up, you're always gonna go up.
But that is what always worked together.
Just telling you, you gave him that.
You also said that I would be like,
I'm nervous about this new thing.
You go, you can't get fired.
And I say that to people now, I go,
you can't get fired.
You can't get fired.
This one I got, are a super duper high once in Boston.
He's like, I'm too hard to go and say,
I go, you can't get fired.
You can't get fired.
I go, go have fun.
Go have fun.
I go, you're 100%.
Like I'll always use you.
We'll always work together.
Go have fun.
The, I remember one time I was working clubs in like 2012.
I had known Joey a few years.
And he just called me one side and he goes,
what are you doing?
I'm like, ah, I mean Kansas City,
and he's like, what are you doing in Kansas City?
I go, I have a show tonight.
He goes, you know what kind of fucking momo goes out
on a Sunday.
I was like, what?
He's like, you can't do Sunday shows on a Sunday.
I go, but I, it's part of my country.
He was, you tell them, you tell them I don't do Sunday shows
I'm not a fucking loser piece of shit. I was like, okay, I'll tell them. I love Sunday shows. Yeah, like all right
I'm gonna show the casual I know people are relaxed. You could have a more relaxed kind of like Thursdays and Sundays
I love them so fun. I love I love Mondays and Tuesdays too. I love all the days of the week. I can it's a great job
Tommy. But it's a great. I was I was all the days of the week. It's a great job, Tommy Bunn. It's a great job.
I was telling the guys, I got a couple more minutes.
I was telling the guys in the green room last night
how we met.
We met on the real man of comedy tour.
The real man of comedy.
With Charlie Murphy and John Heffron.
Excuse me, Bud Light presents Max and the real
man of comedy tour.
Yeah, there was a lot of words in that.
And the real man of genius, if you don't remember
those old commercials, the guy who was the lead singer that was the singer from the eye man of genius, if you don't remember those old commercials,
the guy who was the lead singer that
was the singer from the eye of the tiger,
the fucking survivor song, he was the lead singer survivor.
So we were touring with the lead singer survivor
and his other dude, and they would do the real men of genius.
They would do those like, those commercials.
So it was like, they were funny lines, they had some funny shit.
They got laughs.
And the guy would sing.
You know, and he had a fucking killer voice.
It's the high other time.
And that guy, he's a fucking voice is incredible.
So I'm talking with that guy.
And we met you.
So I was talking about how we met like in every town,
there was like an opening act.
Generally, you know, nice guys,
almost all of them were funny.
But a couple of them really sucked. And in one of the towns, it was just one dude. And
he was like really drunk after the show, like angry. He kind of bombed. And the other guy
has killed. And I was saying, and he was hanging out with us in the green room. It was like,
let's get out of here. I like, this is the reason why I bring people on the road with me.
Yeah. Because you never know know like 99 times out of 100
They're gonna be great. Yeah, it's that one time and I said and then I did the Phoenix theater the Hollywood
Televator. Yeah, celebrity theater and I met you and I remember watching you and you only did like seven minutes
Oh three three three minutes. Yeah, that's hilarious
like seven minutes or so. No, three.
Three minutes.
Three minutes.
That's hilarious.
That's why it was 2007.
Yeah.
Three minutes.
And in those three minutes,
I'm like, this fucking dude is talented.
I'm like, you're really funny.
And we became friends like immediately.
Yeah, it was, I couldn't believe it.
Because you were actually, there was a few other acts who would be like, give me your number
that I had done stand up in front of.
And none of them called.
But you called.
You called and you go,
do you like the UFC?
And I was like, I don't know, I guess so.
You go, no you said,
do you want to go see the UFC in Tampa?
And I was like, I mean, I guess so.
Well, I got a show tonight,
but we could do shows tonight before
and then go to the UFC.
I was like, oh, that sounds fucking cool.
All right.
I've never seen that. And then we flew there and it was Well, I got a show tonight, but we could do shows tonight before and then go to the UFC. I was like, oh, that sounds fucking cool. All right.
I got never seen that.
And then we, yeah, we flew there and it was great.
We did the, dude, that was, you were doing the improv.
Yeah.
You did the Tampa improv.
Yeah.
And then we do the UFC.
And I couldn't, I had seen obviously UFC stuff on TV, but I was, that was the first
time I went to a live event.
And I was like, oh my god, because the, you can't describe what it feels like
to be in an arena.
The energy is insane.
It's for a fight, too.
Energy, like arena energy,
I didn't arena this past weekend for standup
and that's incredible.
But the energy to see two people put like their,
there are lives on the line to fight is indescribable.
Well, not just two people, two of four years.
Four years.
Best combat sports athletes on Earth.
It's duking it out.
It's crazy.
It's the wildest sports ever.
I guess, pumps like repeatedly throughout the night.
These cheers and then I wouldn't even know who was fighting,
but I was so close and I'm watching, you know,
like the striking and then when they start grappling
and seeing how people, when know, the striking and then when they start grappling and seeing how people win and look
in all the drama of the emotions of the fighters,
their camps and the crowd.
I mean, it was just a whole other level of excitement.
It's a wild, wild sport, man.
And whenever I think like,
ah, I can't keep doing these things for that.
I don't know how you keep doing this.
I don't know how you do it.
I just, I love it so much.
You must.
Yeah, I really must. That's the thing. I don't want to quit any of the I just, I love it so much. You must. Yeah, I really must.
That's the thing.
I don't want to quit any of the things I do,
because I love them all.
Yeah.
I really, really do.
When I'm at the UFC, and I have the headphones
on the microphone, I don't want to be anywhere else.
Yeah, right there.
It is cool that you still do that,
and you definitely don't have to do that,
and you still love it that much.
I really do.
But I also love podcasting.
I also love stand-up. I love all those things. If I had to not do one of those things, I wouldn't know which. I really do. But I also love podcasting. I also love stand up.
I love all those things.
If I had to not do one of those things,
I wouldn't know which one to not do.
I would definitely never quit stand up.
That seems like the most fun.
It's the most free too.
And it's the most creative at all of them.
Because the process of coming over
an idea and turning it into a bit that actually gets a laugh.
It's like it's weird fucking convoluted, twisted, mind puzzle that you have to solve.
And when you can get it all together and put together an act that you think I could film
this.
Like this is good.
We're ready to rock.
That's a wild feeling.
There's nothing like that.
But the UFC is like, I will never stop watching.
And I did go to see one in Austin where I was in the audience. I almost went to it that with you. That was great. It was great. I was like, ooh, I kind of stop watching. And I did go to see one in Austin, where I was in the audience.
I almost went to it that with you.
That was great.
It was great.
I was like, ooh, I kind of like this.
That's really fun.
You definitely, I know you genuinely love it
because you always know,
you like all combat sports
because you're always like,
I watch this kickboxing thing this weekend.
I watch the boxing match.
I watch, you watch fights.
Yeah, I'm not like a real big expert in boxing.
I watch a lot of boxing,
but there's a lot of people like my friend Radio, Radio Raheem.
Yeah.
He knows everybody.
He knows like what I know about the UFC.
He knows more boxing.
He knows more boxing.
So he's like my go-to guy if I have any boxing questions.
I like to firt him.
But he's doing like a lot of boxing commentary now,
and he does post-fight interviews and shit like that.
But there's so many boxers.
It's still hard to follow all the sports,
and I follow a lot of kickboxing too,
but even my limited knowledge of kickboxing
is very limited compared to my MMA.
Yeah, I love animation.
I don't know shit about kickboxing,
but I do love watching a good kickboxing big kickboxing match
You should watch glory. There's a company called glory. They put on these wild fights
I think they're doing a butterhari
Alistair over him rematch. Oh, they fought twice before one time how old is over him now?
He's got to be 40 Wow, but he's free from usada
Yeah, so he gets to get juicy
He's gonna get juicy so they're giving him many I think that fights take a place and
think it might be an October
But that's a glory is a great organization to watch like real high-level kickboxing
They have some elite fighters over there really fucking good fighters. Yeah, that's where Israel out of Saunee came from
He fought in a bunch kickboxing organizations really fucking good fighters. That's where Israel Adesani came from.
He fought in a bunch of kickboxing organizations,
but he fought Jason Willness in 42,
Laurie.
42, Jacked.
Fuck.
When Jason Willness in Israel Adesani fought,
that was for the middleweight title.
And I thought that Adesani won.
It was a very close fight,
but I thought Adesani should have got the nut.
So he would have been the world champion in glory
before he came over to the UFC.
That's how good Otisani is.
He's a fun one to watch, man.
He's a craftsman.
You know, he's a skilled technician in there.
I'll never forget when I was in New Zealand,
he came to my show, I'm gonna hang out a little afterwards.
And I was just like, hey, you know, just curious.
Like when did you, like think you could be a,
it's such a wild thing to become, right?
And he goes, oh, remember I was at home,
I was watching these guys fight
and I thought, I could be the best in the world at that.
And I was like, that was your thought?
I could be the best in the world at that. And he was like, that was your thought. I could be the best in the world at that. And he was, and he was so serious. He was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I guess
that's where your mind is different when you end up doing that.
If you get to that level, you have to have a bulletproof mind. There's no ifans or buts
about it to be a guy, especially playing his game, which is the striking game. Yes, striking
game is incredible. It's a wild game, man. If you're playing the wrestling game, which is the striking game. Yes, striking game is incredible. It's a wild game, man.
If you're playing the wrestling game,
I mean, you need strength and endurance and technique
in years and years of wrestling,
but those wrestler guys can control people,
like a guy like Kabib, who's the best example,
because he's the greatest.
The greatest lightweight of all time,
I mean, just a fucking monster,
and he would control people and smash them.
I mean, that was his thing,
just control you, get you to the ground, and just fucking smash you.
That is a much more controlled game.
Could be he only got hit a couple times hard in his whole career?
So how, because everybody talks about, and I don't know well enough, but everybody talks
about, obviously, his, his Jiu-Jitsu is grappling his ground.
Yeah.
It's grappling.
It's grappling, and just like how unbelievably he is. But how was he as a striker?
He was good.
I mean, he knocked Connor down.
He got much better later in his career.
He got very dangerous on the feet
to the point where you were worried about his hands equally.
Like when he knocked Connor down, it was like a big deal
because Connor did knock him down.
He cracked Connor and dropped him and was taking Connor down
towards the end of the fight and just smashing him, beating the fuck out of them and talking to him. I was beating him up
Let's talk now because Connor was saying a bunch of crazy shit leading up to the fight
So he's on top of him smashing him and Connor can't get up and kebabes on top of going
Let's talk now, bam. Let's talk now bang and at the end Connor was like it's all business
And he's like fuck is not business, but now with him is not business. This is real
Yeah, but it is like my point is like that game is all business. And he's like, fuck, it's not business. But it's not with him. It's not business. This is real. But his like, my point is like, that game is a different game.
Because that's a, I mean, an amazing martial arts execution.
What he can do, what he, what, what,
Kabib did during his career is like, unlike anything anybody else has ever done.
He went 29 and 0 and destroyed everybody.
Didn't even have close fights.
I mean, he had like one or two
like kind of close fights early in his career.
But once he got on a roll in the UFC,
like the Michael Johnson fight,
and it's in Barbosa fight, smash!
Everybody was getting smashed.
Ally Aquinta made a good account of himself.
He handled himself very well.
I don't know if this is an overdone thing
in UFC or in MMA stuff,
but is there like do people believe that he'll ever return or is it like I don't think so.
I think in his mind it's not worth it. He doesn't want to his mother doesn't want him to fight his
father died his coach and he told his mother to fight one more time and then that was it. And that
was it. And I think he's also, he likes coaching now.
And why not go out as like the greatest of all time
in the lightweight division unquestionably hands down,
one of the greatest of all time in any division,
if not the best, and 29 and 0, undefeated,
dominated, defended your title multiple times,
and kicked everybody's ass.
Kicked everybody's ass.
So the final 10,000 dollar question,
do you think Kabeeb could beat any in arm wrestling?
do you think that could be a range?
not to be challenged them.
not to be challenged them.
just because I cannot lose.
I love you Tommy.
thank you.
Bert, time, time and Bert.
one goes top and swap the other.
where's the shirt?
Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine.
there's not a chance and hell that they'll keep the clean
here's what we call, two bears one cave
no scripts of bed of booze amateur, for toology
dirty jokes, ronti humor, no apologies
here's what we call, two bears one cave