2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 158 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

It’s another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and it is a WILD episode! Sober October is over and it’s Berty Boy’s birthday! The Bears discuss their favorite comics and throw shade at every comedian that’s slighted them, they discuss the tragic news about Takeoff from Migos, and then Tom reveals possibly the BEST birthday gift ever for Bert! The bears then discuss Diddy’s wild Halloween interaction with actor from the show Power, Michael J. Ferguson, as well as other scary dudes in hip hop. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

then let's get it clean. I do not support Hitler or the Nazis. Thank you. Thank you. I think it's important that it's out there. 100% Welcome to another episode of Two Bears. Okay, this is a very exciting day because we are celebrating

Bertrand's birthday here today. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. 50 years old everybody. 50. 50 I can't believe I'm here. Now flex though.

Alright, I'll show you what happens when a younger guy flexes. Paba. Yeah, you have a lot more definition. Your left arm is bigger than your right arm. Well, something happened to my left arm a while ago. But why is it bigger than the right arm? I don't know is it bigger? Yeah, I don't know this your left arm is more muscular than your right arm I don't know they're both my left arm is still smaller by a half inch really yeah, I don't think I'll ever get it back I'm not my fear. Oh, it looks fucking great though

I I feel Feel really great. I feel well. it's a little bit of a fucking, is that I feel great, but I feel, my heart rates the lowest it's ever been in my adult life. Really? Really? Really? Really?

Really? Perfect. My, it's time to make that all go backwards, right? You're right. You're right. You're the fucking, I'll be enough today as my dad's birthday. It is?

Yeah. Today. Today is your actual dad's birthday. It's my actual dad's birthday, but today in real life is my birthday. Leanne's got a big present for me. She does? Do you know what it is? No. It's not a fucking 56-core event, is it? No, it's not.

I got you a fucking awesome. So we talked about this on other podcast, and if you missed it, we were doing this escalating thing where we were just spending more money and it became unrelatable, especially to all the fucking poor people that watch. So we decided. It was really fun to share with other podcasters.

Yeah. Like when you do a podcast and you would, and it was like a guy you'd know for a while and then you know, like sometimes, sometimes there's like a pecking order in comedy where like guys would be shitty for a long time. Yeah. And then, and they'd been bigger than you.

And then one day you're bigger than them. I wish I could say the real name. I'll say it, but edit it out. Okay. And, like they just popped at a younger age. And then, and then for whatever reason, everyone has a stall and it goes back. And I've been there.

But, to hear them go, like, they've been shitty to me when I was nobody. Yeah. And then they're like, so you and Tom do like birthday presents and I was like, yeah, I bought them a race car last year. And they're like, huh? And then to watch it in their eyes, it was the most irresponsible thing I've ever done.

Yeah. And it was worth every set for three people. Yeah. So for three people. To look in three people's eyes, three comics that treated me like shit when I was nobody. For them to go, how much money do you guys making? I go, oh, I don't know that much. Yeah, just, I know.

You know what's really funny is that here, those guys talk about, they're so removed from what it is to sell a lot of tickets, that they will make assumptions about what a lot of tickets is and what that generates. And then you get to go like, oh, you're not in this universe. You don't participate in this world at all. I'm going to be country. I understand this is country.

No, but listen, let's be clear about this. These people deserve it. They're fucking cunts. They're cunt comics that got a little bit of juice before they deserved it. And the, here's the real thing. They never backed it up. They didn't have the actual substance to back it up.

That's why their career went, I was with a comic yesterday who asked me, we were talking about stand-up, we were just catching up and it's good to see you, I haven't seen you in a while. I'm doing big things in Cleveland and I was like, oh really? He was like, yeah man, you should hit me up in the air like we do a podcast and I got a vent space. He's like, where do you play when you're in Cleveland? I said the Rocket Mortgage Center and he goes in Cleveland? I said, the Rocket Mortgage Center. And he goes, huh? I said the place where the cab's play. And he goes, that's, no, like, that's where you stand up.

And I said, yeah. And he goes, oh, okay. And then he just walked away. And I was like, I was like, and by the way, this guy's been a contemy. Yeah. It was a great moment where I wasn't trying to be a dick. I was just telling him that in 2023,

I'll be at the Rocket Mortgage Center again, again, in my second time playing there. And for the top soft world tour, I met, I met. And by the way, but it's funny because you're right. And this is what's important about this. And you don't understand this. And is that Tom and I didn't have the flair that a lot of comics had coming into this business. We didn't, and there are comics listening to this that go, I know exactly what we're talking about. Like, I'll tell you right now, Steve Fury, one of my good friends I always told her them.

He knows exactly what I'm talking about, because there are dudes that pop in this business for whatever reason. So many. And they just pop. They do good stuff on stage, they're young, they've got, they're tall, they're whatever it is. They get latched on too by like, you know,

the press, like the comedy press. They become darling. The managers, yeah, and they're always like, oh, this is the guy, this is the guy. And when it happens, young, and it happened one time, it happened to me and Tom at the same time. I don't really, I don't wanna get too into details, but it was at Montreal, we were sitting at the bar together,

and one of these comics, a young comic, who had a lot of heat, came in between us, didn't know we were together, and started explaining to us how what a special was. And by the time I was, I think I was like a 15-year comic at the time. And it's not insulting because you understand what's happening. There are times when you're their age, and it happens to them, when it is not insulting because you understand what's happening. But there are times when you're their age

and it happens to them, when it is really insulting. And you're like, so you don't really think anything of me. And then it's the only feeling you get is like, it's nice when you realize what the disconnect is. Yeah. And then this person that held this in such high regard, the fact that they were above you, then now has to go, oh shit, it's kind of a,

I don't know, it sounds country when I say it, but it's true, it's like talking to a flare when we got into this business, we're just, you know, it's not white guys. It's not at all, nothing. And yeah, all those guys were, you know, some of them were nice kind of. We should say the names of nice people,

so people know that we're not talking about. But by the way, my favorite thing is like, when people go, like, where do you play in Cleveland? You got to go like, it's the mortgage. I don't know. Where the calves play and that do it like that. And then they'll be like, the fucking, it was so funny because they'll look on his face. Edit this out, edit this out. It was s***. He goes, where were you going? He goes, where were you playing,

Pittsburgh, I said, PBH, pain serena and he goes, huh, I said, he goes, where the penguins play? I said, yeah, he goes. We'll be ever looking to do smaller shows. Sorry, I wanted to, I just had to change it Cleveland

because I didn't want to call out. Yeah, yeah. Okay, go back. There are so, but by the way, for the record, there are dudes, we're just calling out like five cuts. They're five cuts, they're five cuts. And by the way, you guys all shit on them online anyway.

Like, they're not on our podcasts. If they're on our podcasts, it's not them, okay? So wait, let's, you wanna say, you said you want to talk about who then some of the nice ones are. Some of the nice ones. They're like guys who got heat. They're like nice. They were awesome.

Like Hannibal was always cool. Hannibal, Hannibal pops. Hannibal pops real like way before. And Hannibal opened for me and popped and was and he never treated you below like I remember doing, what I just said, that one guy did to me, I did to Hannibal one time, because I was like, where do you play when you're a Madison?

And he was like, I don't know the name of it. And I went, comedy on state and he was like, no. And I was like, no, I think he's coming on state. And he was like, no. And he was like, I was like, coming on state and he goes, no, it's a place next to it. And I was like, next to it. And then it's a fucking 3,500 C.

You put it together, yeah. And then I put it together and Hannibal's cool about it. Like I was cool to that person, but Hannibal was never like, he was always a legit, and then I remember that night me and him, sat in his tour bus, and he walked me through how the business should work. Like, man, you gotta get a tour bus, Bert.

It's really fun. You get all your team here. It's like, and so Hannibal's never those people. There's so many people that weren't those people. Like Rogan was never that person. Now Rogan would be honest with you and be like, what are you making in Edmonton? And you tell him and he go,

you need more money. And you be like, really? And he's like, yeah, you should ask for more money. What kind of merch you bring? Like those are the cool comics. People haven't remembered this, but what, you know, because I started working with him in like,

oh seven. Yeah, you're the reason I know him. We did clubs. Yeah, he just did clubs. Oh, that's also a point this out. And obviously we're about to see Joe. So, but like, Joe also was doing stand up way longer than us when we were doing venues that he was doing.

Yeah. Like, I remember, I already pointed this out to me, he goes, I remember when Joe was struggling to sell out, uh, uh, to play some of the Wilbur. Yeah. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. Like now, but that's because in honestly, Joe shared his audience with us. Yeah. I mean, he shared, he did things that people didn't do. The whole shit you hear between Joe and other comics that he had beef with, that's the people that we run into now. That's the same energy, that shit stills around.

Yeah. But there are good, there are really solid dude comics that you're like, like, Bermiglia, I love fucking Bermiglia. Yeah. He popped too. And he, Bermiglia popped hard as fuck. But Bermiglia is still to this day. and he, and he, he, he, he, he, he, and he, and he, and he,

and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, you know, whatever. Yeah. Like there's awesome fucking dudes, and then there's the handful of fucking cunts. Yeah. I'll say a name again, and you gotta edit it out, but make it, so my lips can read it. Yeah. The worst is inside the female world.

Yeah. Because the shit, the female comic cunts, yeah, or cunt, yeah, says to the lower comics is fucking mean girl shit who She she says things I overheard her say to a woman one time I'm so glad you started to wear clothes that fit your body On stage and I went to another comic And And I was like, what the fuck?

I remember going like, oh, that's like, that's like, I don't even wear clothes. Yeah, cut you normal, normal, normal, I come off stage one time, shirtless. And he just go like, yeah, shirtless the whole time. Sureless didn't listen to one joke. Sureless, it didn't even put it back on, sureless. He took his shirt off, he said he don't even know he's talking to, he said he's gonna shut off.

Yeah. Go back to, go back to, this is, this whole podcast has started off shitty. This is what we used to know on podcasts, is just fucking, fucking dog dudes. We'd say names though. Oh, I want to say names so bad. Do it, it's your birthday. No, god damn it. No, because there's, because even doing this, there's people like, I'll get a text from the f***ing and be like,

am I one of the guys you're talking about? And edit his name out by the way. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's gonna be a guest bear in a couple weeks. Oh fuck, oh, gotta fucking miss you. Are we shooting up to L.A. still? Yeah, I'd be fine if we got to hang out more. I'd be fine to go to the store. Yeah, the stores, the stores been pretty crazy. It's a lot of people there that I don't know. Yeah, it's crazy how quickly you can get like a total shift right three years ago

I knew every single person and then now there's a lot of young comics fucking bangers, too That's good, but yeah, I mean it stinks a little bit because you're like well fuck am I I'm gonna turn 50 and you're like am I gonna? You're fucking 50. I know, but there's a lot of old 50 fuckers older than me. No, I know. I know that's what I'm just saying. You're 50 years old. When they start dying, that's where I'm gonna be fucking scared. When the 50 year old died.

You know, when they're fucking 56, like Mark Maren's 50, and by the way, he isn't one of the cunts. Mark Maren is like 56. How old's Mark Maren? I think he's like, like, see, those guys were my older Bobby Kelly's 54, Dane is 52. He's 59. Dane's 59.

Mark Mariner is 59? Yes. See that and it makes me excited. Give me old people. Patent Oswald's 53. Fuck yes. Fuck yes. Did you see by the way that Offset died?

I did. I didn't think any was gonna come to work. no, it's not offset. It's not offset Yeah, it's not offset. Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, no. Yeah I'm almost certain it's not who do you think it is One of the other ones it was take off. Sorry take off we shot and killed terrible in Houston and I didn't realize by the way because they have been and he's terrible in Houston. And I didn't realize, by the way, because they have been like a hot group for a minute.

I don't realize he's only 28. Dude, this is at a bowling alley. Playing dice. Makes me so, it makes me so fucking angry that it makes me angry for his family, for his, for the people that love love him like his mom and his father Yeah, who didn't get to see the I mean they got to see him. Oh, amazing things But but like that's what bums me out as a parent because he's so young. He's 10 years older than Georgia

Like that is so yeah, I did not know that he I don't know I just I think I assumed because like like I said, they've been hot for a minute, that I just assumed it was, I could somebody at least in their 30s, you know, I didn't know. I mean, God, that means that they, Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high.

Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high.

Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, that was too good as high. Shooting dice, dude, dude, that was too good asero. You did? Yeah, and I've been waiting for that sucker punch to show up. Why did you talk shit about him? I didn't think they were gonna be as big as they are. I was like, oh, fucking fight all three megos. Oh my God. I know, I know.

And by the way, and then we're in Serbia doing the movie. And Jimmy Teatro's like, he's like, hey man, he's playing songs in my apartment, my house. And I go, what is that? And he goes, megos. And he starts making fun of me. And I go, he's like, hey man, he's playing songs in my apartment, my house, and I go, what is that? And he goes, me goes, and he starts making fun of me, and I go, that's really good. And he goes, yeah, you're gonna like the me goes. And I went, no, I don't like me goes.

He goes, I hate to break your heart. You're gonna really like me goes. And then he gets to play other music, and then he go back to me goes, and I was like, who the fuck is that? And he's like, I told you. And so I feel like a fucking cunt. It happens. You're fucking 50 years old man.

So listen, 28, it's 20 years away. It's bullshit, because can I tell you, I think about this a lot, my dad 13 years ago, randomly got a, the CT scan, the full scan that checks your blockage, and they found like 90% blockage, 98% blockage in his Widowmaker and they went in and put a stint. And so when I went in and got all my crowded arteries checked

and did the full blood panel and topped a bottom, I was really anxious about it. My dad said, buddy, if I hadn't done this 13 years ago, I'd be dead already. And I had an eclipse of thinking of like, of all the shit he's seen in 13 years. This is not super cheery, what I'm about to say, but all I can see when I see takeoff passed away is all the stuff that I've seen from 28 to 50,

that he doesn't get to see, it's gonna make me cry. Right, right. It breaks my heart. Yeah. That, right. It's, it's, but I break my heart. Yeah, that, um, ooh. So stupid. Oh, man, why I don't know this, I sometimes sound like, but it's, I've seen so much. I didn't have the girls

yet. I didn't have, I didn't do anything in this business. I didn't, I didn't, I've bought houses since then I've I've I've I've fucking traveled the world and that guy doesn't get to do it and that oh why would I get emotional life is so fucking fragile and when you see someone has talented is this get it literally snatched away get it snatched away it's not fucking fair no I just not fair at all That kid has so much to do in this life. Something as stupid as a dice game, you know. Just being out.

And by the way, and I know that this is gonna make sense to anybody, but the fucking kid who shot him, his life's over now too. Oh yeah. The both of these fucking kids lives are over. And it all started with that fucking dopamine rush of like who wants to shoot dice. Yeah.

And you know, they were like, let's just shoot fucking dice. God damn, I can't believe I'm kind of talking. No, I get it, man. I mean, it's just things. Think about all the stuff. You know, you get to do, I know, if you get taken at 28, it's like, you're really, your life is at, so everything's ahead of you.

Hidden on anything. I mean, I need to accomplish so much. I imagine how much more you could have accomplished. I imagine how many lives you could have changed. It's almost a fucking sin when you think of how many lives that kid could have changed. Because he's in a position where children that maybe is not bringing or a childhood like is

could look at him as a mentor or as a, it's just fucking not fair. I know that this is hypocritical because I make jokes and whatnot or mentor or as a, it just fucking not fair. I know that this is hypocritical because I make jokes and whatnot or whatever, but like it just is fucking heartbreaking. I found out this morning at the getting coffee to go work out. And we were talking about hip hop

and I was talking about Tobin Guiquay. I think I say his name, I'm sorry if I fucked his name up. But the girl getting coffee was from Houston. And she was like, you follow hip hop? She's like was from Houston. And she was like, you follow hip hop? She's like, I do. And she was like, you're talking about take off. And I was like, no. And then she was like, ah, fuck it.

And then she blamed my Houston. She was like, fucking Houston. I was like, ah, well, I mean, I wouldn't blame the city of Houston, but there are cities where shit just fucking, just fucking. It sucks, man. It sucks. Maybe we should transition to something a little cheerier. Yes.

Natural disasters. I was actually thinking your birthday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll talk natural disasters. Uh, so I think there's a few I could survive. I, sorry if that's too abrupt a transition. I'm not going to be in this mood all day.

This is what I was saying. I'm having fun today. I'm having fun today. So I was trying to set a limit on, so so people know we did, you know, Jetsky or Ebike Jetsky, private charters, a fucking race car, and then we talked about how this is gonna get out.

This is the look on that guy's face that we were talking about earlier when I said I bought you a race car, ready? And you know the guy I'm talking about. This is the look on that guy's face that we were talking about earlier when I said I bought you a race car Ready and you know the guy I'm talking about this is a So if you guys can get that impression put it in the comments. I bird. I I tell bird this I go, you know, I can I go I'm not it. I'm not gonna Bow out of this thing. I go, but you know, I can, I go, I'm not, I'm not gonna bow out of this thing. I go, but, you know, we keep raising this and right away you go, like, let's not do it.

Let's not do it. It gives me anxiety that I know I have to. It's giving massive anxieties. Your birthday is in April. Yeah. I know your birthday, I know your birthday better than I know the ants. I think about your gifts for you more than I ever think for her. Oh, same, same.

So I decide, I'm trying to set like a, I go, we're gonna still spend money. Yeah. Just like try to bring it down to earth. Well, I end up going black market on this gift, right? What do I get it? It's right here. No, yeah.

Wait, hold on. So hold on. I end up having, I put a feeler out and I get like, you know, there might be a guy and then there's a guy who knows a guy and I have to get cash because they're like, you know, this type of thing doesn't have, like you can't like use your credit card. So now I'm having to do like cash deliveries and cash withdrawals and like trying to get the amount of money that this person wants for this thing. And I know that you're, I know that you like history

and I do. Oh my God, oh my God. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. If you're about to give me not, I'm gonna be really happy. It's just the one. I'm gonna, yeah. It's just the one.

I'm gonna be so excited. This is for real. I'm not kidding you. Go ahead and I'll tell you the story once you take the top off. Is he gonna bite me? No. Okay. That teacup set was at the house walk and fell on the Obertsall's Burg. And in 1936, Gerdy Truist, whose husband was Hitler's architect,

was she was his interior designer. She had that teacup set at her apartment in Bad Rikinhal, and a man named Isaac Hahn was gifted it. He sold it to an unknown collector who later sold it to a man named Richard Michael Collaker, who sold it once more to the unnamed party and we acquired it and there is basically a 99% probability that you're holding something that the fewer drank from at his vacation home.

This is Hitler's cup. That was Hitler's cup. Yeah. Put it to your lips. Put it to your lips. Isn't that cool? Happy Birthday! This is the best birthday present I got supposed to destroy it. I'm supposed to destroy it. No, you can get a lot of money for that. You can get a lot of money.

You can get it in my hand. You're making me a hot dancing party, Billy. I thought I was going to be Winston-Journey, Joel. I thought I was so excited. I was so excited. I thought I was going to be Winston-Journey. I thought I was going to be Winston-Journey. Joel.

I thought I was going to be Winston-Journey. Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. I thought I was so be Winston-Jeridale! I thought I was so excited! It's like yes! It totally belonged to Hitler! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh my god! You realize he may have been just been like, we we go get those gypsies like Oh It's $22,000 Oh, we're gonna get so much trouble! And to complete the set, I got you some Yeezy's. It's gonna be a full thing, man. You're set up now. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, oh is great. Put your coffee in it. I don't want to do it. I'm just going to keep it right here. Put the top back on it I love this new angle of birthday gifts fun It's fun, right? To give people stuff that they can't keep. Oh, I need you to love history, so I just figured, you know. Oh my God. That was fun.

Oh my God, that was so fucking hard. And there's so many fucking hoops to jump through for that shit. When you said black market, oh my God. The, I mean, I had to go through a guy in Idaho who went to a guy in Washington. Of course he did. I know. I'm part of where Ruby ridges.

Yeah. Yeah. He asked me if he offered some other shit that I was like, you just made for so many salt off shotguns and some compound in Idaho with cash yeah I can't wait to tell you oh this is so much more fun this is so much more fun to give oh I already know what I'm getting you I already know I'm oh my God this is so much more fucking fun you gotta take care of that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I can't wait to show it all my Jewish friends it got into my house I go like I didn't know you oh my God oh my God

history it's history fucks my wife they never answer my wife. They never answer. Oh my god. Okay, so funny. It's a great regift to do. It is. It is. Okay. I can't wait to get you a what what what I got you another gift. What did you get me? Okay, I need you to turn that way. So you don't see me setting it up. Okay.

I'm just going to put it on the table. Okay. Just don't don't don't. me setting it up. Okay, I'm just gonna put it on the table. Okay, just don't don't don't. All right, turn it. Okay, so this is your second gift. Are you ready? Yeah. I You made it Oh, it looks like a Han Solo if he got bloated in the freezing process. Oh That is fucking great. I used I tried to go for the image.

It's kind of hard to read on camera, but it's the image from the current tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you said that, did it? That's a great look. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's fucking awesome. I asked myself, what are birds favorite things?

I thought Nazi memorabilia. And images of himself. And images of himself. You know me so well. You know me so well. I think it was a freak shop gallery that does like great sculptures and everything. He did this and I think it was a great job. Fucking awesome. So that is fucking awesome.

I think it should be added to the birdcass. Oh yeah, it'll fit in perfect with all the I I love my hair, did he give me a full head? He gave you a full fucking hair. Oh, I fucking love this guy. Oh, that is fucking beautiful. How do I fly home with that? Just sit with it on your lap. I'm with my Nazi T-Covid.

Do you want some coffee? Yeah, please, you just take a cup of it. I'm curious. I've got some good light to it. Holy shit, what's it made out of? I'm not sure. This is fucking awesome. Oh, this is fucking awesome.

God damn it, Tom, this is fucking awesome. I can look at it all day long. What's up, Bert? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, this is fucking great, Bert day. I want, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, like this. Yeah, we're fine. Okay. Thank you, Tom. No, we're fine. I can't wait to get to your presence. This is such a pivot.

It's a fun one, right? It's a fun pivot. It's a fun pivot. Yeah. Oh, I can't fucking wait. This is going to be so fucking fun. Pretty rad. I can't wait to see how much trouble we get in.

And by the way, I just want to say to, because I know he goes by free, it's free shop gallery, it's actual name, but dude, very imp... I mean, he does really incredible, Christopher, Christopher Genovies, really, really talented dude. I mean, look at the stuff he does.

Super impressive. He made it in Germany. Yeah. So he liked it. Oh, he loved it. Yeah. You know that that was his retreat. That's where that was.

And she picked it. That's the thing. When she died. Can you tell me this story again? Tell me the story again. Okay, so Gerdy. Gerdy Truist was the wife of Hitler's favorite architect and she was an interior designer. Okay.

And she did a lot of his interior design and art and she was the only person who was like not scared to talk shit, to like disagree with him and like light him up and he respected it because he respected her taste and her like her knowledge of art and design. So she would, she was like, you can pull it up, Gerdy truce, G-E-R-D-Y-T-R-O-O-S. There you go. So, yeah, she was married to, and then her husband died. So she was with, that's her right there. She pointed like, you hiled Hitler. Yeah, yeah. And so when she was on, she lived like super long, endure 90s. This teacup was at her home and a guy, Isaac Han, I guess it was gifted to him.

And then he was, you know, he sold it and it was sold again and again. Oh, shut up. Yeah, it's good ol' Gertie. Good ol' Gertie, I mean, you know. Her husband's name was Wilheim. I don't. I just read that.

That's a cool, I like when you get different names or different things. Yeah. And I didn't know Pierre was Peter. Oh right. It was so much better than Peter. Pierre. Pierre.

Yeah. And Villeheim. Gettimo is William. Gettimo is fucking a badass way to say William. Yeah, there's also like, what is it in Jose's Joe? Yeah, Jose is fucking way better than Joe. But do you think that's just because we know Joe? Like we know Joe's.

Right. And you're like Joe's such a, like, old Joe there. Yeah. Alberto's just Alberto. What's Tom? Tomas. Yeah. What's the, what's the nickname for Tomas?

Tomi. Oh, that's kind of cute. Yeah, it's T-O-M-I. Tomi? Tomi. Oh, that's kind of cute. It's T-O-M-I. Tomi? Tomi. Yeah. Beard it. What's Beard it sounds like?

Beard it. That sounds German. Beard it. But you are of German ancestry, right? Yeah. So this whole thing really ties in with you. Yeah, I can't wait to see Leanne's reaction. I cannot wait to see Leanne's reaction. I cannot wait to see Leanne's reaction.

It's the real deal. I mean, there's no way she's letting it in our house. There's a new way. You gotta sneak it in. We've got the new podcast, dude. You know, you gotta do, dude. You gotta serve every guest with the cup. You gotta have your own.

Hey, Mocha. You wanted a cup of coffee, and then you just form a cup of coffee. Dude, Mocha, I have not hung out with Mosha cashier in a while. Yeah I forgot how fucking funny he is he's hilarious. He's funny top to bottom in every instance He's quick on a text sharp on hanging out on stage He is the top to bottom the funniest dude. I want it. I might say he might be what the funniest comic to be in a room with Yeah, he's super super he's so smart

He's sober Long time long time I wonder if he was like a wild teen Yeah, like I was in gangs and stuff and fighting doing No Yeah, like, uh, I was in gangs and stuff and fighting doing the drugs. No, where the fuck is this woman? I don't understand. I got a can't wait to show her my present. Yeah, this is how it's so cool. No one's gonna get you anything like this. No one's definitely getting me anything even remotely close to this. Maybe lead with the statue. I don't know.

to this. Maybe lead with the statue. I don't know. Oh, she just hung up on me. Jesus. I'm canceling her phone. Hey, thank you for my birthday present. Yeah, you're welcome. Not certain how I'm gonna listen, man. Well, you know, this is gonna come out and people are gonna be like, because they did the thing. Someone just bought something to destroy it. Yeah, but listen, dude, you gotta keep that. I mean, it's, well, I gotta buy now a replica one so I can destroy it on camera. Right, right, right.

I'm gonna have to, they're gonna be a viewing party where they want me to destroy this. Fine, just do a little show for them, they're a little charade. I mean, you know, there's people that genuinely are not laughing right now. Like, there's genuinely, genuinely,

let's, I'm gonna tech, I'm gonna tech, I'm gonna call one of my most Jewish friends and see what his reaction is. Okay. Okay. All right. All right, I'm gonna, it's Aaron Ross. I mean, the ones here seem to be all right with it.

Nidava, you cool with me having Hitler's cop? I think this is one of the best gifts anyone could ever get. Okay. All right, so this, my friend is Jewish. He's very proud Jewish, although he's only half, he would be upset if I told him that. I won't say his name,

but I'm gonna say, I'm gonna, let's just see if he laughs. If he laughs, then that's a litmus. Okay. Hey, Let's just see if he laughs. If you laughs, then that's a litmus. Okay. Hey. I'm doing two bears one cave right now. I did not say your name.

I did not say your name, but I wanna show you what Tom got me from my birthday. And I want, I just want your simple reaction, okay? Okay, do you see that? Yeah. That is my birthday present. Yeah. It's Hitler's teacup.

Oh. All right, I'm keeping it. Your reaction was what I was going to say. That was whether or not I destroyed it or captain That's pretty good I'll bring it home tonight. I'll see I'll let you drink out of it You were my litmus to see what your reaction was. I'm not proud of it. I'm not proud of your reaction.

But it is unique. Well, he also, if it's any, he also got me a statue of myself. Very much like Hitler would do Shit all right, we fly home tomorrow. I'll give you a call tomorrow Sounds good man. All right, bye You think Are you would weigh in on this? He's flying. Let's call him Mosha. Mosha'll answer my face number. I just thought about it with a meal of the day.

Yeah. Yeah. He makes me laugh so fucking hard. Let's see what Mosha's reaction is. I think he will not be like your friend. You think? Okay. Wonderful answer my face time. It's pretty aggressive. It's super aggressive. And by the way, I don't think answer in my FaceTime.

It's pretty aggressive. It's super aggressive. And by the way, I don't think he has my new number. He's gonna be answering a stranger's FaceTime. But like, who's this? Oh, he was more an orthodox. How about Ethan Klein? Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, it's a good call.

Listen to Nidav in there, it's just grumbling like it's a thunderstorm. Boredom, I mean. Listen to Nidav in there. It's just grumbling like it's a thunderstorm What if he's even up? Who's up? You think so? Yeah Ethan wakes up with a crack of fucking dawn Ethan doesn't wake up with a crack of dawn He's in the gym probably He was here to pretty intense Halloween costume last night.

He did. I mean, that was unreal. You see, Diddy? No. Did you see Diddy? Oh, he dressed up as Tyler the creator or something? No, no, no, Joker. But you see him almost fight that, dude?

No. You didn't see that? No. It's on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Diddy wore what in white face? Yeah. You bet so crazy, you can't see this, Diddy. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, did he or went in white face?

Yeah. You bet so crazy, you can't see this, diddy. Let me see, let me see. It was unreal. Whoa, that's diddy. That's diddy. Go up. Shut the fuck up.

Go on Twitter though. Look at him, look at him like Almost fight this dude almost fights a guy. Yeah, yeah an actor an actor from power Yeah, it was That dude that dude right there. It was fucking It was pretty great. Cause that guy didn't know who it was. Are you serious? Yes. And then did he wouldn't. Yeah, you gotta start from the

beginning. Right. Sure. But headphones. Make sure it's at the very top. Yeah, he was in character and the, and you know, he was being fucking aggressive and weird. This is why it all were costumes. Yeah. This right here is why. He's f**king.

You gotta know, you gotta get it without beeps. Get done with no beeps. Yeah, go. Get it without beeps, go to Twitter. That's on TMZ, you gotta find the actual. Hashtag Diddy, hashtag Diddy, tap it he hashtag did he tap it hashtag did he have big guarantee it comes up That no one wants to hear beeps Maybe this is about right there you go. That's it. That's the end when they make up this

There you go that might be it. Let's see. Right here. That's Diddy's laugh. Watch him switch here. What's up, baby? We, what's got, baby? Watch him switch here. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing.

He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing.

He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. He's playing. Without the niggas out of fucking come on in our bus show shit No, I keep it. I can push him so you don't know Man keep it back in man don't let it get off here You got a pop there shit, man Who I am So I love you. I win together. We strong together. You lost your name.

I'm going to get hung over there. Come to the after party and change the vibration. Change the vibration. Change the vibration. When you see your brother, do you, did you follow all the emotions that went into that right there? Like did you follow the full story?

That is, so that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, darling, Dargo. That actor dude was like, you know, he sees, I kinda understand it too. It's like, I got, I got, I got, I get this side way more than I get puffs like. Right, because you know, puff is in like all this shit and is acting wild, acting like the Joker. And so that dude probably, in C's cameras and shit

and all these people around, he's like, yeah, you're fucking pussy, you're fucking pussy. Because you know, you feel kind of threatened and like you wonder, am I being mocked right now? Yeah, he starts calling him a pussy. Did he stays in character for a minute, right? And he does like that joke or laugh, which by the way, he is like a fucking really convincing actor in this. Like I think he really took over as that part. But then he like backs up, he's like, oh yeah, and he's state, and then he switches into like being puffed.

And he's like, you fucking fuck fuck with me, bitch. I'll fuck you up right now. And you see the guys like, what? And he's like, do you know who I am? And like that's the part where you could see the guys head go like, huh? Because you can't really tell it's puff, like for a minute.

And then he's like, I'll fuck you up. Yeah. And then the guy kind of goes like, oh, and, for a minute. And then he's like, I'll fuck you up. Yeah. And then the guy kinda goes like, oh, and then the other guy goes over and he's like, yeah, you know, be cool, be cool. It's like, let's not. And then puff does this whole thing of like, I'm about love, man, don't steal my Halloween energy

right now. And the guy's like, all right. I don't know who the fuck this is. Yeah, and then he's like, come to my after party. And the guy's like, dead ass, yeah, I'll come to the after party. Because here's the thing that not everybody, maybe who, who, you know, sort of, peripherally watches, you know, hip hop,

his stuff knows, puff is the most dangerous guy still. For real? Fuck, yes, dude. For real? Puff rolls 50 deep. He's got goons in every, Stangerous guy still for real fuck. Yes, dude for real puff rolls 50 deep he's got goons in every so and in in New York That guy can get you fucking lit for real no doubt about it zero question And if you talk to anybody like people that I've talked to hip hop they go if you want like true definition of a gang gangster It is still puff

Are you I never thought he was a gangster at all a thousand percent for real and that that him being like I'll fuck you up I don't know if if he personally will throw hands or whatever But he has such support behind him. I mean dude. There's probably 40 guys there that are with him Yeah, oh, there's no there's no ways by himself No, and that you can't see half the guys that are with him. Yeah, oh, there's no ways by himself. No, and you can't see half the guys that are with him in this shot. Wait, can you just go back to this part right here? Yeah, this is like...

This is when he starts scraping the gun, many shifts, right? Yes. You're a clown! No! What's up, baby? Still, he's playing, many soot playing. Right here. He would play right here right there right there Fuckin' come on in our bus show shit! Nah, I keep it pimpin' You fucking pussy man, so you don't know Talk to me like that nigga, I love you

Fuckin' man, keep it man That right now, this is, that's a dual message, shit I gotta fuck you up, I'm all love man But I identify more with, I identify more with the guy, the actor Who's really confused right now Of course he's confused And I empathize with him going like, it's kind of an unfair thing for Poppy to do. Of course.

Do you know who I am? And the guy, what's crazy is I recognize Poppy's voice in that? Yeah, that's what's happening to him too. It's happening to him too, because Puff is actually doing such a good job as like, you know, playing around that the guy's going like, do you know who I am?

He thinks he means I'm the Joker, you know? Like, and then he'll sudden his voice shifts into the voice you recognize and you're like, hold on. Who is that? And he puts it together as this video goes along. But the funny thing is, puff is more dangerous than the character of the Joker. So, puff will have you killed really. A thousand percent. I didn't know that.

A thousand percent. I didn't know that. A thousand percent. Ask anybody off camera who legit works in hip hop about that, and they will all tell you the same thing. Seriously. I don't know. Do I know anyone in hip hop? I promise you, they'll tell you that.

I have one expert I could call. No doubt. I'll bet you whatever you want to bet. Ron. I would love to hear his take. Let's hear Ron. Ron knows be scared to repeat. For real? Yeah. Rod. Hey, hang on a second. Hey, you there? Yep. Hey, I'm on two bears with Tom. Okay. Okay. Hey, uh, hey, before, but I just want you to like because I'm gonna ask you a question feel free to answer Is we edit whatever you want out, but I want I'm curious Tom says that puffy is a real gangster like like Not at all really not at all no

Okay, no and I can tell you shit off here. No You guys tapin yes, yeah, that's why I said here. No. Are you guys taping? Yes. Yeah, that's why I said we'll edit this out if you need me to. Oh, yeah, you're going to have to edit out if I say what I'm going to say. Say what you're going to say and we'll edit it out. F***. Ah.

Ah. And I got there from f***. Can I tell you something? Yeah, hang on. Yeah. If we aired this, Ron would be dead. I'm not worried about that. Where we'll go come from me, go come from me.

That's a good, just good philosophy. I say with my tool on me all the time. Yeah, we stay strapped, Tom. Okay. Ron and I always stay strapped. Yeah, yeah. All right, I just wanted to check in with you. Yeah, did you hear what happened to offset last night?

Yes, it was it was take off. Take off offset, whatever, you're a million there. What are you doing shooting by somewhere two a.m. in the morning stupid. Yeah, yeah, I got a little emotional because I just don't I don't think it's fair to lose a dude that young Why if you put this stuff in that position? Yeah, we have different takes me in you. What's that?

What do you get? I'm picking up some filters for Okay All right, anything else you want to you want to throw our way that's in the news. It's maybe topic worthy Hey, Ron. Hey, Ron. Can I tell you what Tom got me for my birthday? Yeah, what do you get you? It's a teacup That used to be owned by Adolf Hitler Why we're inviting a teacup deal was previously owned by Adolf Hitler

Well, it's one of those guys in Nathalie. You I'm talking to my client. You know, wait, who are you talking to? Tom Tom, Sir George, you can do this. Okay, you know, his, his, uh, their podcast, two bears one case. I'm talking to Tom and right now, I got your bird is my client. And did you do stay here in Napa? Should they hit it the same thing? A lot of fucker Tom get you a teacup.

It was for me old, but it all Hitler. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. But hey, you bought him a fucking race car, if he has birthday. He buys you a teacup. I don't tell him about that, too. He also got me a statue that I'm pretty sure you're gonna say is in black face.

Would you say big guy? You'll see it. I'll take it. I'll bring the teacup on tour with us. You can use it. Hey, Ron. No, Ron. What I'm not gonna do.

What's up, Tom? Hey, watch your back for Diddy's Goons, man. Watch your back. I'm not worried about that. I was born and raised a thousand children. LA. All right. Okay. Hey watch your back for Diddy's Goons man watch your back About there at all all right Ron we're gonna go back to we're gonna finish up the podcast and I'm drinking for the first time in In 31 days. Oh, you're gonna get shit face today. I'll see you next Wednesday in buildings. All right See Ron you're gonna get shit face today. I'll see you next Wednesday in buildings. All right, I'll see you. I'll see you, Ron. I'll see you, Ron.

Wow. Oh, fuck. I love that by the way, that's your expert to tap into on this story. By the way, can we play his answer, but bleep out every word in there because that, you know, that's his answer for everything. That is, that is such.

It's been that's part of the reason I love Ron. That is such a problem to air that, you know, that's his answer for everything. That is. That is such. That's part of the reason I love Ron. That is such a problem to air that. No, that. Yeah, don't air it, don't air it. There's a 0% chance we're airing that. Yeah. So, did he, I mean, I think I talked shit about this. God, I still can't believe that that's.

So then who are the biggest gangsters in hip hop? It's not Will Smith, right? Fuck no. Okay. Is did he, I don't think big boys like a gangster. No, right? Fuck no. Okay. It's Diddy. I don't think big boys like a gangster. No, I don't think so either. Like he's just like a,

like the Southern hip hop dudes are more pimps. Like they're more like cool smooth dudes. I mean, I wouldn't fuck with Birdman. I would not fuck with Birdman. MC Hammer. I heard that too. Wait, where did you hear that? It's talked about quite a bit.

For real? Yes, he has like all of Oakland behind him. I heard that you don't fuck around with MC Hammer. And that's, you especially just like, you don't disrespect that guy. Like, here's the thing, that city is like, yeah, you know, he's the dance dude and all that, but we will fuck you up for him.

Really? Yes. I think I'm well known., will you see if I ever did a TV show? I think I met MC Hammer I think I met MC Hammer. I liked him a lot. I think Trying to think if I should call somebody about puff No Do you ever third base use to fuck around with MC Hammer? Oh, yeah somebody about puff. No. Do you remember Thurbase who's the fuck around with MC Hammer? Oh yeah. Thurbase, what was MC search?

Yeah, search. Yeah. Dude, I just got onto a deep dive on search. He was on a podcast maybe, or maybe he has a podcast? I think he has one. He's a great podcast. I was listening to it. I told you.

I told you. I told you. I love Thurbase man. That he was at my college graduation. No. At my little ass school. To perform? No. It was the weirdest thing.

It was like, I think I've told the story before. It was so strange where even though I went to a really small school, I just realized there's going to be moments where people go, Amen. I saw Tom giving you Hitler's cup. It's just a new cooling. You put cool a Hitler's cup. You got just a new Kool-Aid. You put Kool-Aid and Hitler's Cup. You got to bring it on stage. That I'm sitting there and you know even those small school, I didn't know everybody I went to school with. I was still, you know, it's not that fucking

small. So I'm sitting next to some girl that I've never spoken to in my four years of college. And I, and she's this little Puerto Rican girl. And as I'm sitting there, I just look up in the stands at the people, you know, you can just see some faces. And I was like, huh, I go, that guy looks like MC search. And then she goes, that is MC search. And I go, how do you know? She goes, he's here for me. And I'm like, what? And she goes, yeah, he's married to my cousin. That's my cousin right there. And I'm like, search is at our graduation. She was like, yes.

I was like, no shit. And then we got up, we took a picture, we did the gas phase with him. So like a whole group of us. I used to love, I used to love. There's a lot of rappers that I love that, that I've got great stories. He has great stories.

His great stories. So what's his podcast, Bluip his podcast. By the way, open invite to MC Search if you ever wants to. Yes. Your mom's house or on broadcast. That'd be awesome. Or if he wants to be a guest bear, I'd love a search says podcast. Search says he has Jewish. He's Jewish. Oh, he's not going to like that. We just lost MC search. Shit. So we get MC search on the phone. I wonder if we can get MC one if we could get MC search on the phone. I wonder if we could get MC, what if we could get MC search on the phone? Let's do five degrees separation. Who do we know that knows MC search?

Well, probably Primo. Primo knows everyone. Everyone. You still taking them out with you? We just talked yesterday. Really? Yeah, you're taking them to, should I call him about Puff?

Yeah, yeah. What do you think Siphon sounds with now? I'm about puff. Yeah, yeah. What do you think Siphon sounds with now? Call, pre-move about puff. By the way, do you think puff is watching this? Oh wait, no, he's the one to call. Who?

Siphon? Yeah. He knows everything. He knows everything. You know Siphon to call him? Yeah, I know Siphon to call him, he knows everything he knows everything you know siphon to call him Yeah, I know ciphon to call him, but I don't remember I mean maybe I do Hey, man, how you doing you got a second? Hey, we're doing a podcast right now. We're doing two bears one cave

Yeah, and I'm having a conversation about something that I want to, you know everything about hip hop and people. So. And by the way, I'm loving your Instagram takes what you're doing lately. It's fantastic.

Oh, thank you man. Thank you. It's really funny. Okay, here's my question. Yeah. Is puff somebody you want to fuck with in this world What do you mean like is puff somebody who is capable is here gangster is like hey, it's Bert is Bert and me Yeah, hey, what's up, so how you doing buddy? Wait is pop okay? Good say it again is puff gangster is puff like somebody we tell him that we saw the fight

Puff daddy. Yes It's puff gangster is puff like somebody we tell him that we saw the fight like as in pop Yes Diddy diddy yeah Sean diddy comes yeah What do you like what do you mean like you want to fight like fight him? I don't mean like hey, let's get into a boxing match. I just mean like There are people in this world that are known to... Like MC Hammer. Like, you know, yeah, like, we wouldn't fuck with a birdman, or there's people who are like, oh yeah, you don't want to fuck with that guy. And he's capable of having things done to you that...

Yes. And I'm saying, is Puff one of those guys or not. Yes, absolutely, but he's not worn on his sleeve like some other gangsters exactly. He's obviously an entrepreneur in a business man, but there's but there's goons though. There are goons. Yes, this is my point. Okay. This is my point. My point. Yeah. Without I was trying to let you say it first is that it is known it is known in the fuck that you don't fuck with puff. Uh, uh, where you're saying it though makes it like like, you're making it sound more

gangster. Okay. Okay. Mafia sound more gangster. Okay. Mafia, Mafia, okay, go sopranos. Okay. Right. Uh, you don't fuck with Tony soprano, but before you even get the Tony, there's a lot of other guys.

Right. Now, if some chance you do get the Tony, he can hold his own. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but he doesn't have the reputation of like, don't fuck with him on some street shit.

Exactly, but it is known, like especially in New York, that the guy has a lot of people around. Okay, the word, it's the wording. You know hip hop and comedy. This is where the wording is important. Okay. I love that. Is that you don't fuck with pop? It's more like you can't fuck with pop. Okay. I mean, that sounds like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, give me the phone.

Give me the phone. That sounds even better. Okay, I mean that sounds like you're incapable of fucking with puff Like did he see the fight scene with the power guy? Did you see that thing last night? The the him one with the dude with that actor on the street No, you didn't see that No, what happened? What's a whole range of emotions? We're basically, there's this actor from power

and Puff goes up to him and, you know, he's in that full Joker uniform, like a costume. Yeah. And he's like, he's going up to him, he's saying shit. And you could tell that the actor is like, you know, he's uncomfortable because somebody's all up in his face and he's like, you know, he's uncomfortable because somebody's all up in his face and he's like, who is it? It's Michael J. Ferguson. And that dude doesn't know, he doesn't know

that it's Diddy. And so, and so at one point there's cameras rolling, there's always people around. That dude goes, I think you're a fucking pussy like pussy ass bitch so I say it to the Joker. Yes Yeah, and Diddy stays in character. He laughs. He's kind of and then all of a sudden he switches like he backs up He's like like what he starts talking all this while shit. Come on, then bitch I'll fuck you up. Get over here. I'll bust your shit and like his voice He stops being the Joker and start saying it as diddy and and like his voice, he stops being the Joker to start saying it as Diddy.

And you could feel all this kind of energy shift in that moment. And then the guy starts looking at him because he could start to put together, he's like, is that Diddy? He hears the voice. And then he's like, Diddy's like, don't fuck with my energy, my Halloween energy right now, man.

And the guy's like, all right. And then then he's like, I'm out here with love, motherfucker, I'll bust your shit. Okay. I didn't see that video, okay. And that explanation, that scenario, you I would not fuck with Paul. Like it would go down.

Yeah. It would go down. Yeah. Like if you're at face to face and it's about like, it's happening, like yelling back and forth, maybe some shoving, that it would go, it would happen. Like he's, he's, I don't know if he's trained in jujitsu, but he can fight. But, but my other point of this, when I was talking about gang like all this shit is that if what I was more leaning towards was

if you fucked with Puffy's interests, something that is a value to him, if you're fucking with his world, fucking with his money, it's not going to go, it's not like that's fine, that's just going to slide by. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it'll get ruthless. Okay, this is my point. Now, not, now, not should night level of like strength gangsterism. Yes, right? Right. You know what I mean? Like, should night is like you're, you know, your, your family's home, I can shot up.

Yeah. You know, that type of guy. That's not pop. Right. But it will not go well. Yeah. Okay. You have a question for a safe.

I just want to tell him high Okay, but he's can I yeah sure? Oh Hey, buddy, I saw you on stage the other night on on Instagram. I was on the bus. I was watching you fucking kill it man You I think it was a crowd work thing you were doing I was on your Instagram and it was fucking hilarious man You fucking and I love I love this stuff you're doing to no dude hardcore hardcore. I Yeah, I have I've another thing. I'll get your number from Tom. I'm gonna text you, but Dude congrats your killing it man. Thank you for answering the phone

Hey, I swear the God. I was trying to make it to your special I was gonna I was gonna Because I was gonna remember Tom asked me to DJ the show, but didn't do some other girl to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah I was gonna see if I could do you a special, but I got a show that they were most I couldn't do it But I love you, bro, man anytime you ever need me Well, I may need you when my birthday gift gets revealed to the internet as a person of color How do you feel about a guy getting Hitler's teacup as a birthday present? Tom bought me a Hitler's teacup.

All right, I'll take that as a pass. Yeah, when you got friends like. I can't. Yeah. When you got friends like Tom, you don't need enemies. It was a good talking to you brother. I'm gonna get your number from Tom and give you a text, okay? All right, perfect. All right, take care. Thanks man, thanks, I've.

Later buddy. Who would have ever thought that that guy could be as funny as he is? Him? That's like two skill sets, two totally different skill sets, yeah. And he's so... I think he was always funny,

but he's the prime example of a guy who sometimes there's people funny in life and also on a mic, right? Cause it is a thing when you're on a mic, like meaning like as a DJ working in a radio station. And there's a guy who's funny. And you go, this isn't the same as being funny on stage. But you are funny. Yeah. A lot of those people just never, first of all, never try, right?

They just go like, no, I'm comfortable being funny in this arena. Yeah. Some of them try and they just don't have it. And he's one of those guys who is capable of doing it all. So he can be funny, hosting the radio show. He's funny as shit on Instagram. Even I'm saying videos that he makes. His crowd works shit's tight. And it's like legit, legit comic tight.

And I say legit comic because as a guy that started in, like, and we've seen it, like I mean, TIs do a stand up now. And I think it's hard. I don't obviously know disrespect meant to T.I. but it's difficult to be the greatest in your field at something and then go in and try to find. I'm just laughing still about Ron. I'm sorry.

I just can't. I cannot, but you know, do you know what would happen if that fucking, well, you know he is. Do you know what would happen if that fucking? Well, you know, he has... I know he has philosophies and opinions that he shares. It might be that East Coast, West Coast beef, still. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. But it's interesting, because you know, you think TI would immediately just... He's... Excelist stand up because he's such a great... He's so good with words, you know? Yeah. But then it's... It's finding the humility to be... Excel, stand up because he's such a great, he's so good with words, you know? Yeah. But then it's, it's finding the humility to be,

to be the guy that goes up to people when you're past. What is that? I don't know, maybe it's thunder. Is it thunder? Yeah. You know, it's kind of fucking scary to lighten. Jesus. You don't scare to lightening.

You are? Yeah, this is not the city. Jesus. You don't scare lightning. You are? Yeah, this is not the city for you. Uh, that's real. I'm definitely drinking today just because of the lightning. Dude, I had a panic attack in New York one time. I was sitting in my thing and I was like, I was on the sixth floor. Yeah.

And it's just a window and then the world. Yeah. And I thought, why wouldn't I get struck by lightning? I have a huge fire escape outside my window. Why wouldn't lightning just jump into my house and hit me? I was thinking about that last night. It's so crazy I was thinking, I would rather get struck by lightning in my sleep.

And not know, I just shit the bed and fucking piss all over the place, all by jewelry melts into me. And people go, what happened? What happened? You ever hear those stories of those women, they're like, yeah, they just spontaneously combusted. Yeah. Like I'd rather just have that happen.

I would at least make a statement that you condemn the Nazis. Why, wait, I was giving the gift. I know, I'm just saying as the... I'm gonna have to do a fucking public video of destroying this. Is it steel? It's a steel teacup.

How you have to melt this down? But at least say, The steel teacup, they were wrong. Like, say that you don't support. I do not support the Nazis. I do not support the Nazis. I do not support Nazis. I do not, I'm not a fan of Hitler.

Anything he did. I know it's problematic with my last name being Christcher. I am not a fan of Hitler. I do appreciate a good present. I do appreciate a good present. And I'll do my best to what's matter. I'm just applauding at the end of your statement. Let's get it clean.

I do not support Hitler or the Nazis. Thank you. Thank you. Good. I think it's important that it's out there. Yeah. You're the one that gave him $22,000. I know. You're a fucking cash.

Think about how I'm gonna need fucking face to twos. That's gonna pay for. And firearms. Yeah. You're funding Nazi regimes. Yeah. and firearms. You're funding Nazi regimes. Yeah, this fucking thunder's freaking me out. Hey, are we going? Are we going straight to Joe's? We hanging out doing reads and then slow roll in our way over there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. What a day. What a day.

It's been an interesting, this has been a bizarre fucking episode. I wanna get Liam on the phone. I wanna get Liam on the phone. I can't believe that she's not answering. Through the fucking statue's rad. The statue's fucking badass. And to have a piece of history right next to it, that's what it comes to.

I'm a lens with a contract, I guess, she's buying another fucking house. She's this Christ. She's, she was pointed out to me that I am not, I don't know anything about business, I don't know anything about finances, and I don't know anything about our money.

And so, so I started keeping a journal of how much money I'm making. Yeah., I started keeping a journal of how much money I'm making. Yeah. Like I started keeping a journal so that I could like try to, it's not going well, my math's horrible. But I just, it's never, it never adds up. And then I'm like, that seems odd. No, that seems more. And then, and so Leanne said to me, I'm going to put this to you this way. I, fuck. I'd rather invest in property and get a 10% return on her money than a five,

whatever the bank gives you as a fucking five% return or whatever. And she's like, trust me properties where you wanna be. And then I saw Dave Ramsey, I don't know who that is, but some guy Dave Ramsey was like, you need to invest in houses just because the interest rate's going up. Doesn't mean you can't lower it and it drops again

And if keep going up then you got a great interest so then lands like that's all the stuff lands into real estate I guess she wants she keeps saying I want to be a mogul here's my thing she keeps saying she keeps saying I want to be a Moga want to be a real estate mogul like dot like my hero Donald Trump she says that all the time. Yeah, she she She says that all the time. Yeah. She, she, she, um, she, oh, fuck, that's a great present for you. Just a golf trip with double trump. The, uh, she, she, me and you are the ones that are gonna make us muggles though.

Be fucking unbelievable if he's like, how you doing? Tom, Tom, big fan. I guess me and you were riding this part, Kurt, Kurt, no,ja will be in that cart. Friend, why did you just miss that? Your friend Bart, what did you say? Me and you were riding this cart, Bert Noja will be in that cart.

You bring the T-Cup. Joe's. T-Cups here. Oh my God, but he would accept that T-Cup during his history. It's his history. But are you doing your dollar drop? Yeah, he's like, were we gonna get away. There's no way, there's no way. Cause here's what's gonna happen, right?

Okay. And then, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to,

I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to, I cannot dispose of that? I'm gonna have to. There's no way, there's no way. Because here's what's gonna happen, right? Ss, okay.

This'll end. Some people are gonna be outraged, very outraged. And then that'll blow over. And then a year from now, Snoop Dogg's gonna be at my new podcast studio and he's gonna go, shit, I would mine a cup of tea out of nowhere and then everyone's gonna go, bird held on the Hitler's cup. That's so crazy. I'm gonna melt it down into a Jewish cross.

Star David? Star David, I mean, okay. Star David. Sorry, Nidav. Nidav. Yes. What do you think he should do? You think he should destroy it? Um, I feel like the biggest thing would be to, you know, recl- like take his power and reclaim it as your own. Like if you drank coffee out of it every morning, you win.

Yeah. The Nazis lose. Yeah, no, no, I think that's a great idea. I think it's, it maybe if I can just become big enough for people to go, this is Burke Christchurch Cup. Oh, it was also Hitler's. I mean, at least donated to a museum. So I, so I wore, I, I, I donated to, I'll donate it to the,

but I don't, what do they want? Hitler's T Cup for. Well, it's just a history, man. It's a weird thing in history. It's like, oh, this is Bert's nail clipper. Here's the issue. So like, when we were in Italy doing trip flip, there was a guy that was there with us,

and he was a gay dude, and we pulled up on the street and they had Nazi memorabilia. And I on the street and they had Nazi memorabilia. And I was fascinated. They had legit Nazi memorabilia. And I was like, well, and like a rural area. On a street, like over by these waterfalls,

we were gonna, well, part of Italy. I can tell you, if I look on my map, but like, probably around the middle of it. Okay. I don't know, I don't know, it was by a waterfall. And so, so I said to them, but not by a big city, I'm saying. Right? It was, it was, we were driving to go to waterfall

and it was literally on folding tables on the side of the road. And where people pull in to like, you know, take a piss break and they had full blown Nazi memorabilia. And this guy I worked with, or this guy that was with us, bought a bunch of it. And I was like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, it's Nazi memorabilia.

And he's like, it's I'm gay, I can get away with it. And I was like, I don't think that matters. And he goes, no, Hitler killed gay men. I can buy Nazi memorabilia. And he bought a ton of it. And I was like, and I, as fascinated as I was, I wasn't gonna buy any Nazi memorabilia. And now I feel so good that I didn't.

And now you got it because I haven't bought it. Yeah, I didn't even have to not-srememberable. And now I feel so good that I didn't. And now you got it, because I haven't bought it. Yeah, I didn't even have to buy it. And you got the top tier stuff. And I got stuff that people don't even know until it's too late when I go, mocha. You enjoy that tea? Hahaha. God, Leanne can't just answer once.

No, she's with the contractor. What are they doing? And I can help. This isn't the kind of present you go, interrupt someone to tell them about. Where I go, hey, she goes, I'm with contractor contractor. What are they doing and I get out? I'm not this isn't the kind of present you go interrupt someone to tell them about right go Hey, she goes I'm with contractor. Do you need something? I go. Yeah, I want to show you Hitler's tea cups She's like what the fuck are you talking about? It is such a fucking hole. I mean it's such a hilarious gift to give someone a gift

they cannot be excited to accept. They're like, oh. I mean, you do like history. I do like history. Yeah. Can I tell you something crazy is I had, I got really bombed when I went to Russia. Have you ever told you about going to Russia? I was a Russia when I was 22.

Oh my God. I got really bummed that they'd torn down all the land and install statues. You got bummed? Yeah, because I wanted to see them. Yeah. I wanted to see some, because I had this idea of Russia,

of the Soviet Union. As a kid, it was ingrained in me about what it would be like when I went there and to be inundated with this cult of personality which was your propaganda, that propaganda. As crazy as it sounds, Russian propaganda was so sexy. Like it looked sexy.

There's something like fucking kind of, pull up Russian propaganda. It just looks cool in my opinion, that art of like that state presented art with, you will work hard, you will support Mother Russia, you know? And yeah, it just looks bad. And so I wanted to see one of these statues of Stalin or Lenin,

and that's Lenin. Do you know Lenin was a redhead? No. And he had a, Stalin had a baby arm. You don't mind. I know he had that. You know, they would paint it differently when they did like, or sometimes they'd even

manipulate photographs. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and so, and but I didn't see, I didn't see any, are they torn down all the statues? And I was like, that fucking sucks. I was really kind of bummed because I was like, not one statue, not one fucking statue stands,

where you can go see it and go. So that's what the USSR looked like. And now I mean, I'm now, I bet they wish they had the statues back up. But hold on, what was I gonna say to you about, fuck, fuck, fuck, a God dammit. Oh, okay. Did you know Morgan Freeman has a baby arm? Well, yeah, I mean, his is a little different though. But you know, but you heard of this? Well, yeah. So what happened was a few years

ago, he was in a car accident. Oh, it like complete. He almost like lost the arm. And so now he has no use of that arm. That's why if you pay attention when you're watching films, the way that it's cut, they never really give it away. His hand will just like, one of my biggest fears was having a baby arm. His isn't really a baby arm, just not functioning. My right arm is definitely bigger than my left arm. It doesn't bother me at all. That's not what he's going through. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, his is like, is that real? Is that real fucking thunder and lightning? Yeah. Oh, hold your statue next to you so we can take a, I wanna see what it looks like. Yeah, dude. That's pretty great. Should I have him drinking tea? Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's pretty great.

Should I have him drinking tea? That's awesome. Well, Tom, thank you very much for my birthday present. You're welcome. Can't wait to bring it to Logan and have him take a sip. Happy birthday. Thank you. 50 is that's 50 spins around the sun. 50's 50's 50's insane. I can't want you to bring it to where I'm gonna have him take a sip. Happy birthday. Thank you. 50 is, that's 50 spins around the sun man. 50's, 50's insane. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I have a bottle of whiskey that was bottled in the year I was born

that I'm gonna open up. Awesome. I don't know if it's any good, but I'm gonna open it up and taste it for my birthday. I'll tell you what, out of all the 50 years, these last probably 10 have been the fullest. Really great years. God, man.

Well, look, I'm honestly, I love you. I think you're a great guy, great friend, hilarious comedian. I'm happy for all your success. I saw the teaser for your movie. I'm excited for what this success. I saw the teaser for your movie. I'm excited for what this next year will hold for you, but I love you.

And I can tell you that getting this made for you was a super excited about it, but getting you a piece of history that I know you'll cherish forever also was very exciting for me. And you know, you think about all the decisions that were made while sifting that, and it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool that you get to touch history that other people just learn about, you know.

Happy birthday. Bird time, time and bird. One goes top and swath the other, wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call Two bears one cave