2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 46 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

SPONSORS: -Sign up at PeacockTV.com to start streaming new episodes of A.P. BIO now. -Go to EstablishedTitles.com and enter BEARS at checkout to get 10% off. -Get 20% Off and Free Shipping at Manscaped.com/BEARS -Go to fitvinewine.com to order online for delivery straight to your door -Get 15% off your order at BuyRaycon.com/bears! -Go to NoDaysWasted.co/BEARS and use code BEARS at checkout for 20% off and free shipping in the US. -Download the DraftKings app and use code BEARS to get a free shot at the $1,000,000 top prize with your first deposit! Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing boy-girl videos. Bert recalls talking to his daughters about them, and his experience with a dom. The Bears also discuss Ellen Degeneres, Hawaii surfer kids, Ron Jeremy, Israeli names, and tennis. Bert reflects on a jetski accident he had with his daughter, and they wrap up by discussing cool Japanese "stop time" movies.

This is what I wanted to show you. Hold on. I definitely can't play this. How is she doing that to herself? What amazing aim she has, by the way. She's punching it like she's making sourdough bread. Yeah. Jesus.

Where did you find that? In our inbox. Someone sent that to you? Yeah. Yep. Oh, I'm so much happier I get hats. 100% I'm a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a I watch porn doing everything. Yeah. I don't even plan on it, but what happens? I don't plan on it either. You know what it is? It's because of Twitter, because I'll get on Twitter to take a shit and like you're

scrolling and someone will tag me and something and you're like, what's this? Like, wow, that's a lot of cocks in her mouth. And then, and then you're like, what's her name? So then you start like looking in her profile and you're like, what's it does this a lot? And then like you're sitting there like, I've been sitting here taking a shift for 25 minutes, I guess. You do it sucks.

And my dick's poking out of the top. I will, porn will show up on my phone and I won't even realize I'm doing it. Yeah. I did it one time. The worst was a drop off for Ila and George at one time. I'm just sitting on my phone and get something on Twitter and then you click it, now you're looking at porn and then just came up and goes,

are you looking at fucking porn? Yeah, it's cool and I was like, I didn't even realize I'm doing it. Have you had, because we grew up with scrambled TV and tapes and now everybody has a porn device in their hands. Have you had, because we grew up with scrambled TV and tapes, and now everybody has a porn device in their hands, have you had the porn talk? Because you have girls, I'm more paranoid

that in a few years, fucking Ellis will be seven, you're like, you've seen this girl suck this cock and over like, she's like, so, but, I'm making something! Yeah, shut up. But have you had to have the talk? I'm making something! Shut up! But, have you had to have the talk? Because, you know, we have friends that are single that start talking about how

that dating in today's world is so different for like, because they grew up with devices in their hands, and they've normalized hardcore, like, we grew up with like a blowjob from a girl was like, amazing. And then now, I remember, I remember, like they think that that's normal.

Yeah, I never choked anybody. I'm sorry? I've never choked anybody, but that's like a big thing. Oh, right. Like, you only see in porn, and then I just, I am miss I missed all of that I

Fingers in the mouth Fuck crazy shit I missed all of it. I didn't get any of it and like I remember having sex the I remember like there's no I mean all my good fucking was done when pornography was not even a thing. Yeah, porn, here's the thing, young, if you're under 30, you don't even realize that for us it was an ordeal to see one. You had to seek it out.

You had to be secretive, you had to plan, you had to wait, you had to maybe like wait to the end of the week, it was a whole whole thing. Like it wasn't so much as like, oh, watch this for 20 seconds. It didn't exist. I remember, I'm always searching for, I've never been able to articulate this on stage because I think it creeps people out.

Yeah. Like, I'm always looking for the thing in porn that shocks me the same way. So there's this one porn I got. You're chasing a dragon. I'm chasing the dragon. Yeah. I, when I first moved to New York, I'm like, I was, I'm at, oh, not my own place had a roommate, but like, my roommate worked all day and I had my own, had a time to myself and I was like, I'm gonna go buy a porn. Like on Westforth,

over by the, the A C E subway stop, there's a porn shop. So I went in go buy a porn like on Westforth over by the the ACE Subway stop there's a porn shop, so I went in and bought a porn and I was so panicked that I was like I was just like nope yep yep yep yep yep okay I'll just take it and I just got three porns couldn't afford them Race back to my fucking route out my my my apartment put one in and But I understand this is gonna be very aggressive, but these two girls were on a couch, it was girl, girl. And the one girl put her foot in the other girl's pussy. It's nice. And my heart skipped a beat.

It was like a first kiss feeling, where you're like, what the fuck is that? I'm like, I'm gonna start now, start now. Everyone, see that beginning of that again Like and I've always been chasing that important That like thing that you didn't know Have you asked me in can I put my foot in your ass That's so much about you. She's like, I don't want that.

You're a gardener. You're a back goal. I bought a porn I remember in DC, where I also had the heart racing. I was like, how do you be cool about it? And I remember that I bought tapes, and I put them on the counter, and the lady was like trying to be cool about it. And I remember that I bought tapes and I put them on the counter and the lady was like, because it wasn't, it was a video store that also had porn.

Yeah, so it wasn't a porn store. You know what I mean? They also had regular, and she did a very like disgusted, like she was like, ugh. And then as she was giving them to me, she was like, do you want to keep the box? Because the box is like huge, it has all the stills from the porn.

Yeah, I framed them and put them on my walls. And I was like, she was like, do you want the box? So I'm trying to get out of the store. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah. And she was like, most people don't. That's what she said to me. And I was like, I do.

I do. This way I can. Can I take a picture of your face right now? I took that shit home. It was, I remember, I distinctly remember seeing that curtain off area in video stores and being with my parents and seeing the guys that went in there filled with shame, coming out filled with shame. And it was almost like, I remember going,

I don't ever wanna be that kind of guy in life, but you are, every guy is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then this turned it into so acceptable. I mean, accessible and acceptable. Oh, I mean, no one will ever understand. You know what a thrill it was, by the way? So I opened for a tell in like,

oh, five brand. And these people from a porn company called Kickass Pictures shut up. They go, they go, hold them up. They go, we're big fans. By the way, if they have put in the pussy at Kickass, they should. They do.

Branding wise. They do. Um, so, kickass. Okay. So, they came to the, to the show and they gave him a box of DVDs, like a huge box. No, okay. And then he goes, no one's going to know this feeling. This is the, I remember

this feeling so vividly when someone callously was like, Hey, I don't know, do you want these? And you're, and it was almost like, like, you were stranded on an island and someone had the last piece of chocolate. You're like, no, I'll take it all. Yeah. So, well, Dave goes, you want these? And I was like, Oh,, and I reached for the boss. He's like, not all of them. And I was like, oh, so he gave me the ones he didn't want. And I was still like, did he not want his like, mirror like specks appeal. So we had that DVD forever.

But then this is the best part. I go back to do the club on my own. And one of the people from that company shows up. And I was like, oh, and they don't have a box. I was like, hmm, but this is even better. They go, oh, um, they have a big fan. So we came back to see you. And I was like, oh, yes, you know, thanks for the,

I got his second hand, his dribble down DVDs. And they were like, you know, well, we can give you though. I go, what, they go, a password to the site. So you can just watch anything. And I was like, this is the best day of my life. I really thought it was an incredible, incredible gift. I missed the road because I'm looking forward to jerking off. Like, that's how exciting.

Like, this is one of the things I'm excited to do when I go back on the road. I was like, ah, I'm just spending some time by myself. No, exactly how I like it. Overhand, underhand, go ahead. I, when I did, when I did Hurtbert and we had Mistress Isabella, we did, I was with the dominatrix.

How was that? I was, I, it was interesting because we did like, uh, yeah, pull her up. She's, uh, I don't think that's her, but, uh, she is, that's definitely not her. The, um, you can be her up though. She was, yeah, you can fight her. She's just like, it's about,

Isabella is in Claire, Gwen Media, that's her. That's her? Yeah, at fight her. She's like, it's about in Sinclair, Gwen Media, that's her. That's her? Yeah, at Gwen Media. She's actually a friend of her. She, we did the thing, by the way, we're both, what was your bit with her? Oh, I did everything. I did everything they had in the thing.

They poured wax on my nipples. They put a five pound weight on my balls. They clamp my cock. They electrocuted my cock. That's her. Yeah, yeah, she did all those things to you She did all those things for her birth. Yeah, and she had and she was she's still hot But we were both younger. This is like 20 years ago. Yeah, so I mean she was fucking how they shit the agent chick She was hot as shit. I'm totally naked at one point I look at the people in effects and I go, I think we're shooting a porn. And they're like, yeah, wait, how do we get back into shooting a porn?

And so no one has sex, but I'm definitely naked. They're torturing my cock and then towards the end of the thing. They're like, are you hard on this? No, I never got hard, I never got hard once. We had a safe word, safe word was marshmallow, right? Yeah. So she said, if anything makes you really uncomfortable, say marshmallow.

And so we, at the end of the day, she puts me in this thing. I can't remember how this worked. I was dangling somehow, and they wrapped me in latex, but like really tight, like wrapped me like they're wrapping up a suitcase at the airport. And then they put in a tube, and they squirted liquid in there and a lube and they started working it. And as they worked it, it got to my cock and my cock was like, oh wow, this is fucking

awesome. And for a second, I was like, I couldn't help it. I was like, okay, and then I'm like, okay, number one, I have a girlfriend, who lives this land. Number two, I'm being filmed. Number three, if I have an orgasm, everyone sees it on my face, it's gonna be really awkward. And I just go, marshmallow, and they're like,

does this hurt? I was like, marshmallow, marshmallow. Cause you knew you were getting it. I was new, I was gonna come. I was like, that felt so fucking good. And it was for whatever reason of just, like just, I think that was it. I can't remember totally, but I remember

that's the one I tapped out on. At the end, she goes, I'm talking to her for real, she's a brilliant woman. She's a really smart chick. And she goes, so why do people fucking do this? And she goes, I don't know.

She goes to some people, it regresses to things from your childhood, or it's just a lot of people who are successful business men. Yeah, that's the one that you always hear about. And that the, I don't know if this is like the 101 explanation of it, but it always seemed like it made sense. They said that like a lot of really powerful people do this.

It's because they are, they, the excitement is in relinquishing control because they're in control of everything and like, you know, whatever, running a company in blah, blah, blah, and they're handing over control. And that, that is a release. She, she said, hey, I want you to grab a few tapes, right? No, this is a, I mean, I'm trying to be respectful because she's not a pornographer,

but there is, it's like calling, it's like a pie, a pie versus a cake. It's like, so she goes, wanting to grab some taste and there's stacks of tapes. Of, these are tapes. So I didn't want to look at this the same thing as tell. Don't grab all of them. Yeah.

I grab a couple, race home, right? Put it in my BCR. And it was that same feeling as the foot and the pussy where I just, all of a sudden just my heart skips a beat I'm like, what the fuck is this? I had never seen anything dominate tricks. Oh, and it was And it was excited to you. Oh my god. It was like it was like Holy shit this it some of the stuff was like I just had never seen it and I think that's what I'm looking for in porn is Stuff I've never seen. that's my scrolling of like

Just come on like I'm so bored. It's why I get into new cars. I'm like is this the one we should Man, this feels good. We should direct each direct to porn do you realize that you putting this out there We're going to get calls this week about okay. We're ready for you to direct the porn each direct to porn okay we'll do a documentary on our directorial and and ours and we'll make them tasteful yeah do we have to uh sample the goods first or how do you want to do it open my pants would you sample the goods hey guys uh I'm an old school director why don't you go ahead and listen. I just want you to do it the way I'm doing it.

I want you to watch me. Okay, and then it just lasts a little longer. Actually, that's a really funny porn to watch the director who keeps getting in the scene. And then we'll each get porn hub channels and people will vote. And whoever's porn at the most lives We're definitely getting they're reaching out right now Should we run this by our agents? Maybe our wives?

Yeah, I Tells me I can picture both of their reactions. Oh, you're why uh-huh? Really okay? Oh my god. I would love to direct a porn Both of their reactions. You're what, uh-huh. Really? Okay. Oh my God. I would love to direct a porn. Yeah. Yeah, I think it would be fun. I think it'd be fun to write a porn.

I write so many fucking good ideas. I bet you do. I bet you do. Let's hear one. It's a 22 year old boy. Okay. In a Russian class. In a Russian class.

Yeah. And it's the machine story, but I'm getting fucked left and right. I like it. Yeah, right? Adam divine to play me. Wait, he doesn't do porn though. He will. I was just saying, man, we'll do, I'll use his head, right?

And then when it comes to the body, I'll just get a porn star. I'm a new body doubles. A lot of body doubles. A lot of body, okay. Stuncox. Stuncox. Stuncox. How great do you think out of them? I'm a feel if it's like you see him like get on top of a girl Then you see the fucking hog just enter and everyone's like you have a big dick and he's like

I bet he probably wouldn't do it Not only he was um, he kind of has a couple legit things going on I bet it's nice that I just mentioned him. You know what, thanks for thinking of me. Thanks for thinking of me, man. I got one. There's this guy, he's in the desert, and he's super thirsty. And then these chicks come by, and they piss in his mouth.

Oh. The end. Oh. You got to see. I heard porn sets smell like shit. Actually, so I have a friend that used to shoot and edit porn for a, I'll tell you who he did it for for a while, for a while.

And I was like, I asked him, I go, what's like the craziest part of doing what you do? Cause he's shooting like four or five days a week, he goes, definitely the smells. And I go, what do you mean, what kind of smells? I'm thinking like, I guess a stinky girl or whatever, he goes, dude, you realize that one of the go-to shots in porn is basically under the guy

to get that ball slapping shot. So I'm like under his asshole. Oh my god. And then his ball, just to get that, he goes shot. So I'm like under his asshole. Oh my god. And then his ball just to get that, he goes, I'm just like hovering right behind a guy's asshole. And he goes, it can be like nauseating to shoot. I am so excited about shooting porn. I have so many big ideas.

It's funny that we're here right now, because we le left over, have you had this conversation with your daughters? Now we're just tracking porons. Like so wait, has it come on? We hold on. Yeah, yeah, I was like, hey, get ready, you guys are gonna want to choke you

and spit your mouth. I just get I just want you to be prepared. As your dad, I love you. I think it's saying, I love you. I think it's the same. I think it's the same. They get girls with me like, what? I don't know.

You know, I don't know. I don't know. Some guys don't, they're gonna try to hurt you. There's just one move where they step on your head. I saw a step on the head compilation. That's how popular it is. Oh, what if we get Rocco Sofredi's to fucking fly out and then our wives just didn't know

and they didn't know what they were getting in store for? What, and then he comes over the house. They just fucks both of them. You just see Christina in her tracksuit jacket. Let me tell you something, they would not be the same afterwards. You would have a new personality and it wouldn't necessarily be good. I'm making pasta. Do you want sausage? Oh my god

Would you use porn actresses like you I guess you'd have to but would you go for high-end porn actresses that your fans of? Or would you go for what I'm directing? Yeah, or would you just go unknowns? I would go pros. Yeah, I think it's just a better product in the end. I would love to direct Christy Mac Yeah, you've mentioned her over a time. She likes my posts. Okay. You know so funny I wonder how many porn stars think I'm gonna slide in their DMs. Because like I because I don't know and I've I've connect with you. You have a big slide game. No, I've never I've never slid in anyone. I slid in Tignitaros DMs the other day. Like you do porn? No, just ask her about Ellen. No, I was like, I was like, please don't tell me she's as bad as everyone says. And she didn't reply. Why? Because I would have shared it right here? It's really smart to say

It's a good call Well played The no I so I empathize with Porn because I feel like I feel like comedy and porn have always been tethered it had bit I agree and so to borrow from you 100% oh 100% Oh, 100%. Yes. And so whenever a porn star like messages me or says, she's a fan, I always just follow them,

because I don't know. And then I'm certain the way they're business runs, they see me follow them. And they're like, oh, I thought it, and I thought he was a good guy. And you're like, I've never, I've DMed a lot of porn stars when I was making your birthday video.

Oh yeah. I had a lot of girls. I have a special thing coming for you for your birthday. Really? Yep, it's a little different than the one you made for me. Oh, I bet it is. I bet it is. It might make you sick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I So yeah, I wonder I guess I like Chrissy Mac. I've talked about her and I'm like it's weird because I've been a fan of her born over

Videos and stuff yeah, and she follows me. I've never I would never DM her. She is so beautiful she's so beautiful but I've never I would never I have a weird thing about like one of the when when all the comic guys there were this is I don't know how to say this but when a lot of guys were getting lit up for sexual misconduct and one of the things that I heard women say was which which is interesting, I've always felt this way, but I guess not everyone has. And by the way, if this is a me too, you're going to lose almost all male comics.

Not me, because I've been married, but it's, you shouldn't fuck your fans. And so like, that's the number one. That's the number one. You shouldn't be concerned. I think I know a female comic said you shouldn't be put under threat, but I just want, but just because you like someone's comedy doesn't mean they have the right to side into your DMs and try to fuck you. Oh, right. And I think a lot of, a lot of male comics got into comedy to fuck women.

That's it. I think you're totally right. I would say 100%. Uh huh. And I feel like we really missed out. I missed out so bad. We didn't get to write any of our popularity in getting any blowies or anything. Nothing.

I fucking, I got the one chick who doesn't even find me that funny. Yeah. You're better than that. And you're like, that's not how this is supposed to go. Yeah. You're supposed to be like, oh my God, you're amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. So I was on, I don't know the right way to say this,

but I'm getting a bisectomy, so I can dump my clip on the road and not worry about a kid showing up, you know? Ah! Ah! By the way, that was my mother's reaction to me telling her. She was like, you know what? I was like, I'm getting in the second week.

She goes, you can go on your tours, have sex with whoever you want, and no worry about it, baby. I'm like, who thinks like this? Like, I go, that's your thought about this? And she was like, why else? I was like, so I don't have a child in my home. Another child in my home life.

And she was like, you go on your sex tours and you can make sex with everybody. I love your mom's sex. What are you talking about? I, I, I, I would want to get chicks pregnant. You want to get them pregnant? Oh, 100%. Why?

Fucking, I would love to have little birds around the world. Like Johnny Appleseed, just spread my seed, get a little birdie. You can actually, I believe Tulsa. I believe that. I believe that. He's in a, he's in a fucking patinaed out, pick up drugs, like, Paul, come get in the car.

I don't know if people call him. But you wouldn't be a big part of his life though. No, I'd fucking see him once a year. When I come in the Tulsa. Yeah. I would love to get in a cool toy. Yeah, when are you getting him to protect me? Tomorrow.

But are you getting it when you get your other thing? Yeah, they're doing both. Yeah, dick and plant and to protect me, same time. You're getting a bisectomy tomorrow. But are you getting it when you get your other thing? They're doing both. Yeah. Dick and plant and bisectomy same time. This is crazy. Here's my point that I was trying to make. Is that I feel creepy.

Like when someone says there's something positive about me, I feel like it's a weird leverage to then, if anyone that would go, and you liked my comedy, like, like, so I would never reply to anyone like that, because I just, I don't know, it's the same reason I had a hard time kissing chicks. I always wished I could be that guy,

I'm just not that guy, I'm not the DM guy. You know, if I can't even, I have a hard time flirting with Leanne, so I'm so vulnerable when I flirt, that any negativity, I just, hard time flirting with Leanne. So I'm so vulnerable when I flirt that any negativity, I just, I fucking shut down meltdown. Right. That what I'll do is I'll send texts, eggplant,

donut, tour, they can probably be bad, no one else sex. And if I hear a laugh, I know what's gonna happen. Like I'll go eggplant donut, question mark, and then you just go, oh, you're a fucking idiot. And I'm like, all right, I'm getting laid. I can't just go up and rub question mark, and then just go, oh, you're a fucking idiot. And then I'm like, all right, I'm getting laid. I can't just go up and rub her back gently. And then be like, But if she's like, ugh, like she says,

you see eggplant donut and she's like, oh, fuck. No, she just doesn't reply. She just doesn't reply, or she'll be on the phone and come in. And just like, I have a really busy day. I've already started my day, and I can't just go backwards. And you're like, I know.

That's my favorite is when she's like, oh, I feel sick and like shut up. What if I did a porn recreating the first time Leann and I had sex, but with like awesome stunt body doubles? That's a good idea. What a, oh. Why don't you do your idea where it's you guys

and then do the jump cut to the porn body. I'm gonna get your guy Rami in here. Uh huh. And do and get when guy Rami in here. Uh huh. And do, and get, when Leanne comes in to do a two bearers one cave, do face stuff. Yeah. And then just have Leanne. But do I have to direct her and go,

Leanne pretend like you're coming right now. And she's like, oh, oh, oh, like that. She's like, uh, Tom, this is weird. Give me a face like you're on a bike in the seat fell off and you don't know what you're gonna feel like. She's like, oh, oh, this is weird. Um, give me a face like you're on a bike and the seat fell off and you don't know what you're gonna feel like. Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, keep going, keep going. That's great. Why am I doing this?

Um, hey, what's it, what's it look like if you eat spaghetti but you have a blindfold on and you don't know if it's in your mouth or not? You're like, okay, that's a good one, that's a good one. Okay, now I want you to, it tastes really good. It tastes really good. Like better, better, that's a good one. Okay, now I want you to it takes really good It's really good like better better better like okay like it's That would be great if we could get face yeah replacement stuff Oh, and just do a porn with me and Leanne, but it's too beautiful. We can do this We can do this that would be fucking off. Do you want your face on a price?

Your sex on a white guy or a black guy like I okay? Yeah You don't you don't just say it like that. I just I just I'm like I don't want to fucking I don't want people to believe it Oh, I see I want people to believe it and like I'm gonna get a guy. It's just in like a little better shape than me. Yeah, like Ron Jeremy He's in prison. Is he really? He's in jail. For what? Rape. He got a...

What happened to R- Ugh! He got charged with multiple rapes. Does anyone ever plead guilty to Rape? Hmm, guess we'll find out. What happened? How the fuck I find out what happened. I'm sort of got it looks great. I don't know what you were talking about but uh yeah go to the instead of the image result just go to the all result you know oh yeah scroll

down a little bit here oh this bombs me out. Yeah. Charger's just actually assaulting four women over a period of over a number of years, I think, right? Can you make that tax bigger? It just wasn't one wild weekend. 67 charge with three counts, each of four-spel rape and four-spel penetration by a foreign object. One count each of four-spel oral calculations, sexual battery, bail is said at 6.6 million

See I got to mention you I feel like It's scrolled down. I'm just trying to see like if these if they say when These supposed he also charges sexually assaulting two women 33 on separate occasions in West Holland in 2017 sexually assaulting two women 33 on separate occasions in West Holland in 2017 Forceful rape in July 2019. I guess looks like there's an incident from 16 17 and 19 Yeah, I Don't know he's going back to court August 31st. I think he remains in jail Pretty a pretty wild I think he remains in jail. She's a nice... Yeah. Pretty wild.

Fucking... Oh, there. Like you said, comedy and porn. Ugh! Ugh! You're comedy... Ha-ha-ha! There is a... There is a...

There's a similar... Thread in between the two. God damn it. Same types of charges being applied to both. Fuck. Yep. Um... Alright, so we're gonna direct porn. I'm gonna go to the list of porn stars that...

Do you want to direct? I want to... I want to... What I really, really want to do is I want to do face replacement for Leanne. I want it to be a surprise for her birthday. Uh, something tells me she won't be thrilled at this surprise. And I'm gonna have the do fucking buzz shit where they is like, what the fuck? And you can do that too, if you want.

Do you realize how pedestrian my request would be in a porn video? I'd be like, so, so you're gonna go down on her? And he's like, and, I'm gonna spit her, I'm like, oh no, no shit, I'm like that. So I'm like that, just go down on her and like, grab your neck a couple of times. You should do, if you're gonna do the face replacement thing,

have a guy just absolutely ragged also. And put the hands face on. She's like, is this what you want? And you're like, yeah. Ha ha ha. She's like, do you remember when I tried to get, I told you you push, you should do it, but I tried to get Leanne to just do a poem

where we just, it was like it was a sex tape, her home sex tape, but I'm not explaining it well. You just like smash cut to her face, and then when you move it down to a cock, you do a different cut, and it would be someone else having sex. All I need was her face, and then shots of everyone else having sex. She was like, no, she was like, no, she got really, let's ask her if I could do, let's ask her. Cause it'd be better with her compliance. Yep.

What are you, what are the, by the way, I'm on your side. Oh, and I'm gonna say you and Christina are doing it too. Just it helps. Okay. She was off at eight in the morning, fucking working out. She was? Yeah. Drop morning fucking working out to us. Yeah drops squad fucking drops squad she's a sat savage What's her workout is it like cardio stuff fucking all body weight stuff and it looks aggressive

You know what I know you know the um you know what she's not gonna answer you know so funny This is what's wrong with me. I'm in a lot of pain today because I see a workout and then I go, I'm going full balls to the ball. I saw this workout last night. This will, if we're ready to transition out of porn, this is a good transition. Okay.

But I can always talk about porn. I can always talk about porn. I can always talk about porn. Yeah, great. And that's crazy. It's like such a weird, I'll tell you this, this might be troubling. We should host the A, B, N's.

We could do that. Yeah. I feel like when porn's on, it kind of settles me. Like it relaxes me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like there's things that make you anxious

and the things that make you go like. All right. It's interesting what shows up in your search in like the videos that you would like where you're like, like what you know, it's the same thing with Google. Like I look at my Google news

and it's the weirdest shit. It's like Bobby Schmurder is getting out of prison. You're like, apparently I'm into that. Like, Google News goes, I know you're gonna wanna know that, Charlemagne the God and fucking logic had beef. And I'm like, I actually do. Yeah.

And so, but porn does the same way. When you go to porn hub, it shows you all the stuff that you'll probably end be into. But then it always adds, oh yeah, amateur, anything amateur. I like amateur. I like amateur. I like amateur. I don't like it too polished. I agree. Yeah. Let's see. No, I guess this is not my list. Someone's must grab my phone. Who, who would have grabbed your phone? I don't know. Wait, is your porn list?

Yeah, playing with my- Anything playing with tits and nipples? You like? A-ha, 100 bruh. Ha ha ha ha ha. I did not know this. Oh, I'm a big. Learen's got great boobs.

I love- I love- I love Learen's body. Now she's skinny too. It is fucking- It's like. Now that she's skinny too. It is fucking, it's like getting a sports car all the sudden. It's like a imagine if the imagine, if you know what it's like, since the Ann's lost weight,

it's like pulling your golf cart into the ninth pole to get drinks and the cart guy goes, Hey man, you want me to take the governor off and you're like, what? You're like, how does these things fly? And you're like, fuck yeah, and you get a cocktail and they take the governor off and you're flying down fucking hills.

That was the whitest analogy I could come up with. Yeah, that was pretty, pretty white. Yeah, everything, okay, Tom, look, everything is nipples. Let me see. Everything is nipples. I like that and I like close up because I only think I could find

And porn that I really like that a nipple He's doing that from the next room and his hands are behind his back That's when you never put my hands behind my back. You got a big dick And that's definitely not a nip. Yeah, I saw that one, I go. That's it when I saw it. If you look at the video, you go, oh, that's not the way that's. It's gonna break her neck.

So I'm almost gotten ahold of my phone. I wanna report this one. I wanna report this one. The guy's wearing a condom. Those are so upsetting. I'm gonna report it. I'm gonna report it. That is so upsetting, along with,

nothing makes me more upset watching porn than an average sized dick I'm like fucking just X communicate this guy. How can I report these and go this is He's wearing I want to report him and go share. Let's see where I will you want to put this on your Twitter? Yeah, how about your Facebook? I'm gonna pass Let me see if I can uh Wait, I'm gonna see if I can do it. What are you on porn hub? porn hub is a see what comes up to oh

So it it keeps track of what you've liked and searched for Playing with titties erect nipple. I like to suck nipples. Jesus Homemade face sitting She comes thrice Tom Home made face sitting. She comes thrice, Tom. Wait. I bet I can make some legit money. I know I was probably short money, but just doing pours. You definitely could.

I think it's a good idea. I think people would definitely tune in for the first one. At 10, they'd be like, no, we get it. They're quick. They're meant for Vine. So, okay, let's pivot from point. So here's what's wrong with me. Okay.

I'm going to send this video. I don't know if we can watch this video. So last night, I'm on the treadmill drinking a glass of wine and I'm like, and I just am not feeling it. Like I really am not feeling it. I did 16 miles a day before. Fuck. Yeah, with a bottle of wine, two bottles of wine,

if we're gonna be accurate. So for whatever reason. Wait, wait. What? You ran 16 miles with two bottles of wine. Two bottles of wine, yeah. It was fucking awesome. What part was awesome?

I watched Boogie Nights and Dazing Confused. Do you run walk when you do this or what? Yeah, I run walk. I walk and then I'll kick it up to a five and then get my heart rate up and I'll walk. I try to keep my heart rate in the blue zone, like just fat burn, not cardiovascular, just fat burn.

And so, because I feel like if I, the longer I'm standing in this fat burn, the better. And so I get, and I'll jog and then get in there and then I'll walk and then, and then I called, I talked to Ari on the phone. So I'll take a few phone calls and just drinking on a, it's like, here's a crazy thing is that it honestly is the same as you ever had like had a glass of wine

and you get on a fucking juicy phone call and you just start walking and pacing in your backyard. It's the same thing, I did morning radio on the treadmill the other day. I just did callins on the treadmill, just walked fucking like seven miles. And just, but I walked really slow because you could hear the treadmill.

So I'm texting this to you in you need Yenive is almost as Jewish as Nadov right? You need to publish her from my book. Oh really? Yeah Yenive what a cool name Nadov man israeli's got some pretty fucking badass names. That is a cool name What is give me some like really stereotypical like hardcore awesome Israeli names in the dog. There's your own. There's geeky. I can't hear you. Yeah, what are they? Your own gidi. Oh, gidi. Matan. Matan. Asaf. I'm just naming off my cousins now. Okay. You have? Those are pretty cool actually names actually.

I do like them. Wait, can you go to Israel? Are you, can you just spit in Hebrew? Yeah. Totally fine. Yeah, like I sound fluent to you guys and people that, you know, learned it over here, but in Israel, like I have kind of an accent, but it was my first language. I'm fluent to you guys and people that you know learned it over here

But in Israel like I have kind of an accent, but it was my first language. I'm fluent in it. Wow. Well, that's really cool Do you try to make things easier? I heard you on the phone. Yeah. Yeah, and that wilded you out I heard him on the phone. I was like, hey buddy What? No, yeah, you go buddy. What's going on buddy? Yeah, you go, body, body, what's going on, body? You are a bad DJ, huh? We come back with new estimate. Yeah.

Okay, so I'm obsessed with these kids in Hawaii, right? Yeah. It is so creepy. Last time I was like, I was like, it's so creepy because I'm sitting in my man cave. I'm on my phone. I've got my phone, a glass of wine. I'm on the treadmill. I'm watching this kid, Nathan Florence is his name, right?

His brother, John John Florence, is like a really good surfer. Yeah. He's a really good surfer too. But I've got in this kid, Jamie O'Brien. Jamie O'Brien is, I think- You've named like five people, aren't I? I know, they're all these kids that live in Oahu.

Okay. And our professional surfers, they're all, first of all, they're all top of their field surfers. Like, I mean- And how old are we talking? I don't know, I think like 25 maybe, 26. Okay. And so, they're all top of the fucking field surfers

and then they all have vlogs. Like they all vlog, like it's their thing. And it's fucking fascinating because I'm watching this. And I know more about this kid Nathan Florence than I ever should know. But then all of a sudden, he puts on this video. And so like, so just, so just scroll forward and it off to where you see them in a park, okay?

And so now, okay, so this this is I'm watching him surf and by the way this kid His just a goofy fucking kid No farmers walks no, but so he takes all these weights out to the ocean and he says All right guys, we're gonna work out. So these are all his buddies. They're all like pro surfers, right? And so I'm sitting on a treadmill with a glass of wine walking at a 3.5 and I see this and I go this inspires me I'm gonna fucking blow out my body today tonight because so go to the when you see writing on the left hand side this is the workout these motherfuckers did and then all of a sudden I'm like okay ready so it's they run and swim so they run and swim run down the beach

swim around a buoy then they do a hundred walking lunges with 50 pounds on their shoulders, a hundred, right? Yeah. Okay? And if you throw the weights down, you got to do five burpees. This is like, and then I'm like, of course they're working out this hard. They're all jacked. They're all jacked, and they're all toe in surfers at jaws. I watched this kid wipe out one time, and I was like, he was held underwater for a really long time

and I was like, oh, of course you have to do this. The run walk, this is all 80 squats with 50 pounds. 80, 80. That's what I'm saying. And by the way, this kid is, just has the silliest smile. Look at him, he looks a little bit like Danny Todd, right? And then 60 push presses. Push presses.

Okay. This is considered one. 10 run swim. The whole time is run down to the beach. So I'm around the buoy, then come back. 40 thrusters run swim. 20 devil presses. This is a cunt move right here.

Look at this. Can you do, I tried doing those last night and I am in pain. Fuck me. By the way, I was doing them with 20s. Wait, what is he having? He's got 50s. No. Yeah. Fuck me. By the way, I was doing them with 20s. Wait, what is he having in his hair? He's got 50s. No.

Yeah. Come on. They're all doing this with 50s. He said anything, anything from 30 pounds to 50 pounds, but he's doing 50s. So now scoot forward and watch them do this workout. Okay. Okay, scoot forward, scoot forward, scoot forward,

scoot forward. Okay, yeah, ready? So look at this. These guys are all fucking jacked. They're all like, except he does look like Daniel Tosh, doesn't he? Like legit. Oh.

So it starts with this run down to the beach, which by the way, the run in the sand is horrible. I'm like, I'm just ran this way up and now he's doing okay. 100 lunches, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna create stuff like this when I go on tour. I'm gonna create stuff like this every day where I go,

I'm gonna punish my body until it starts responding positively. Well, I mean, I would, here, can we press pause on your brain for a second? Yeah. Maybe like, just kinda ease in to punch in your body. I did it last night. Okay. I did it last night. Okay. I did it last night. I get 20s and I just, I go,

I'm gonna do a skinny down version of what he's got here. Okay. Okay. So I'm like, all right, I can't swim. I did get in the pool late night. Yeah. But I'm like, I'm in the other part of my company that I didn't do this drink and wine. So I got- Oh, that's the challenge.

Yeah, I got my fit vine. Right. And I do a whole, I try to do all of the things you have as with just 10 times, just 10 times. Dude, I woke up, my arms were frozen. Like my fucking, I sat on the toilet, I couldn't get up off the toilet, just doing it 10 times.

Yeah. And I'm like, and that's what's wrong with me is I look at something like that, I work out like that and I go, I go and fucking blown it out of the water. Why would I not do so? I'm gonna fucking destroy my body. And then I do it and I'm like, okay,

that was a big mistake. Yeah. Now I can't move. And then I'm like, well, I won't be working out for another week and a half because I no longer can move. Right. But my big goal is to win quarantine lifts, uh, move down to

Wahoo, befriend all these kids and let them just for a month. This is my, right? I'm hoping quarantine lifts and then I'm gonna go down there for a month and just get into surfing really good, getting a great shape. They don't drink. They don't drink Tom. There's how could you do that? How could you hang with them? I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna drink. But they don't drink. But I'm gonna drop down. You know, they don't drink. Dude, they drink psych juice. That's all they do. Psych juice. That's what they do, bro. Come on. Yeah, it's like, yeah, this for the boys, man.

The boys, dude, they're, they're, they're, their lingo. I started the kitchen. I'm supposed to go to Hawaii. When? A couple months. For real? Yeah, but I don't know if it's gonna happen with, you know, quarantine. If it, oh, by the way, if it quarantines lifted and you can go to Hawaii, I'll come with you. What are you going with? Are you going with your family? Are you going to do a gig? Well, that's the thing. I'm doing a gig. Well, I'm supposed to do a gig, but I don't know if it's not like,

well, I would go with, we would do the whole family thing, but I don't know if like, it's not ideal situation, it might be more of a quick trip, you know? I wanna go down, I was looking at it and I was like, I was like, I wanna go down. I wished it, I mean, I wish there were guys my age doing this, I wouldn't wanna hang on with a bunch of 20 year olds

because I'm the shit that interests me. What's crazy is like, I've never felt this way about anything, but like they go one day, they go surfing out at, I don't know, Pipeline, I guess, or something, right? And it's really rough. And they don't even enjoy it, but they're having a blast. They're just getting held underwater

and then they're giggling. And then they come in the sunsetting and they're like, oh, it's pumping at YMA, you wanna go? And I'm like, I'm so old that I go, hang on. Let's turn on the TV, let's sit down, let's get a blanket, let's get a glass of wine, let's smoke a bowl, they're just, they just surf all day long.

All the time, beginning the way, wake up, and then work out and surf. I feel like a version of that is you. Like you should be in Hawaii doing this stuff. I want dude, I'm telling you right now, I wanna go down to Hawaii, befriend these kids, and just lose weight, live, like. You always go back to getting in shape.

Yeah, lose weight, like live like them, just drink psych juice and fucking juice. Pull out my beater and do some spins and fucking get tubed. And I don't know if I'll say that, but like, I gotta, it gets away from me. Sometimes my improvs will get away from me. Yeah, it's okay. But I've been watching so many surfing videos. Like, if you look at my Google news,

it tells me about surfing. Tell me I can't surf. Have you tried? I have. I did surf lessons. When? And when we did so-broctober last year, and I loved it, I got up and got off. You did do it? Yeah.

Last year you did surf lessons? Yeah, surf lessons. It was fucking awesome. Like, you can find it on my Instagram. Why'd you stick with it? Go to last year's so-broctober, Nadal. You can see me surfing. It just is'm sure. Why'd you stick with it? Go to last year's sub-rocktober, Nadal, you can see me surfing. It just is too much to get out to the ocean from the valley. Yeah, it's like a pain in the fucking ass

to get out to the ocean. I would love to be able to surf. I've done a lot of stuff like keep going. God. It's amazing when you look at your pictures. You're just, you're just on jet. Keep going, keep going. It's amazing when you look at your pictures, you're, you're Ron Jen. Yeah, keep going, keep going, scroll, scroll, I gotta scrub that for my fucking feet.

Jesus Christ. All right, all right. Now you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going. It's amazing, I can tell you what months, certain things were lucky eyelash. By the way, you wanna know something crazy? I had a lucky eyelash, it's been growing. Yeah. And it came out and landed on my cheek the day we killed Priscilla.

You don't have to say we killed. We put her down. Okay, it's going to be right around here. Go, go up. Go. There's you got a beach. No, go down. Scroll, scroll down. No, no, no, other way, other way, other way, other way, other way. Okay, keep going, keep going, go down, scroll, scroll down, scroll down. No, no, no, other way, other way, other way, other way, other way. Okay, keep going, keep going, hang on, hang on, it's right around here. It's circle down, go down, go down, down, down, down, down. Right there, aren't you gonna surf board right there? No, that's keep going down.

No, yeah, just left, still left, still left. You with me in the ocean. Oh, on the ocean? Yeah, yeah, there we go. This is me surfing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. This is. surfing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. This is...

Oh, because you're on tour here. I gotta look how white my beard is. Oh, yeah. So where did you do this? Jacksonville. We took surf lessons for the day. We had a fucking blast. Me and Shane, and Shane's like, I could do this more often.

By the way, there's Dave. Who got up the best? Me, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Yeah? Yeah, I think I got, not even that great, but I got up a couple times. I had a fucking blast doing it. I could do that more often,

but it's just like, it's so hard to, it's like, it's like, it's so much pain in the ass. You gotta get a board, and you gotta go to the ocean. Yeah, I know. And it's like, you gotta find a parking spot. You gotta hope that the groms are cool with you, and the fucking how these don't bum rush you and no one steals your art supplies

You gotta find an older guy to teach you how to be a soul surfer Yeah, hope that you don't get some got a snake your leash when you're trying to catch the last wave to win the tournament But even if he does it's okay. You're Rick Barnes. What? You didn't see Noys Shore? This is not Noys Shore a lot. Yeah, I learned duck dab time. Just can't just swim up to the channel. Okay. So we mentioned, we're getting into tennis.

And then some people reached out. So we might be setting up some type of tennis tournament with some legit tennis players. Like really legit. Fuck. Yes. I guess it'll be double. So it'll be each of us and we'll each have a pro on our on our side.

Oh my god. I think they're just going to try to kill each other. Pull up top professional tennis players. Uh, we do a mix doubles because I think we have a better shot at doing mix doubles. By the way, the women in play tennis are, I would argue, as good as the men. Yeah. I know that that's horrifically volatile subject to bring up. But I mean, I'm not saying that if we played against one moment, we'd have a shot.

I'm just saying. Yeah. No, we, listen to me. Listen to me. We don't have a shot. No, no, no, no, no. Pull up top female tennis players. Let's just, let's just mix doubles. Yeah, let's see here.

Simona Halop, I've never even heard her. Can't know the was in the act. Gabri, I don't even know these people. Let's see some pictures. I bet they're all smoke shows. Oh, look at her arms. Yeah, she's pulling up. Holy fuck. I like that you sort of low-key propose that we might have like shot.

Look at her, look at her fucking arms. Yeah. No, she plays a lot of time. Look at that. I cannot return whatever the fuck she's doing right there. Definitely not. She could fuck you up. so she could go 606. Oh, you know that I would have, I know that for record,

I did not say we had to have a shot with females. I'm just saying Maria Sharapova is so fucking hot. Oh, I bet we could get her. You think so? Yeah, she does like celebrity stuff. Oh, yeah, let's go like a like there's like a celebrity see if there's a celebrity. Um, oh, she's Russian too. I'd have an in with her. Me and her be on the same team. We wear old school Russia. I bet she probably isn't like pro communist Russia. No, she probably has bad memories. Probably.

she probably isn't like pro communist Russia. She probably has bad memories. Probably. Where does she live? Probably fucking Florida, right? Yeah. West Palm. Yeah, we're just typing in, we're gonna share a prover and let's dox her.

Let's. No. Where's yeah, okay. House. Man, haven't beach. Does she live out here? She does. Okay, we definitely got her. She lives here part time. man, how can beach? does she live out here? she does okay, we definitely got her

just lives is long beach, long boat key, Florida so she has two hats? how much money do she worth? what's her net worth? i bet she's fucking got to have tons of money right? i have no idea i mean i'm sure she did well but yep oh my god it's pretty much a lot. How do you even make that much money? Fuck, that's so much money.

That's so much money, that's more than Whitney has. Like I always judge things by how much money Whitney has, Whitney has ridiculous money. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I remember her saying, you can tell when people are like, when people are no longer like, that grounds over.

Yeah, they cross over and they say stuff like, yeah, I tried to buy that two houses next to me and you're like, both of them? And they just so I didn't have neighbors. And you're like, no, okay. All right, I don't know that means. Just so I didn't have, I didn't want to have to listen to their music.

And you're like, go or you could just ignore it and just be like, I guess I live next to a DJ. Like I do. You do? Oh yeah, bought the new house. Guy, fucking. No, no, no, no. Typin, he only does it like,

it's a spillover from Saturday night. So it's Sunday morning and it's just fucking intense, but he travels around the world, so I only see it. He's a real DJ. He's a real fucking DJ. So he's only there, like right now he's not in the States. I'm never bothered by music noise from a neighbor

that happens in the daytime or even into the evening It's just like if it's late if I can't oh, I don't yeah, I don't use your shit I'm by the way. I'm a Neighbors nightmare so like I can't imagine wait how come because I just I'm loud as fuck I don't know about other people I play music if I want to and I just go oh, I'm so sorry my daughter shoot bows and arrows into neighbors yards Oh, yeah, they had our neighbor our neighbor's front door is up against, we have a house right now. We have a fence by the garage.

And our neighbor's door to his house is on the other side. And the girls had set up bows and arrows shooting basically into his front door. And I came out and they're like, and I go, guys, you these doors right there. And they're like, oh, that's what he's saying. And we're like, what have you been doing? And they're like, some of them have gone over the fence.

I'm like, guys, you're not like, this house is not big enough to shoot bows and arrows. Does that your current house? Current house, yeah. Girls are shooting bows and arrows. And like, from like, in like 20 feet, like it's not even far, just, lighten them into his front yard.

And I'm like, guys, you could kill somebody and they're like, they're not going that hard, dad. There's another one of dad stories. That's one of the things like, oh, yeah, because they're your dad story guy. So I never tell you about the time I almost killed me. And this is a dad story.

Yeah. Tom, I'm telling you, I'm not exaggerating this at all. Okay, so we're out at the lake in Alabama, my wife has a lake house in Alabama. We go out to the lake house and the girls want to ride the jetskies and Leann says, you should go with Ila and let her ride you on the jet ski. She'll drive and I was like, I'm not really comfortable

with Ila, like she has impulse problems and I don't want to, like I don't really comfortable with Ila, she goes to the ladder and Ila starts going, Dad, stop being such a wimp, get on the jet ski and then she starts talking in a southern accent Come on boy get on the jet ski and I'm like, I like you already in a different character I'm not certain I want to drive with that character and she's like come on mama mama get him on the jet ski Let me ride you one time and I'm like I'm like guys I'm honestly going this is a lot more serious than we're letting it be right now.

I'm about to get on a jesky with her. So again, I'm gonna jesky with her. And she says, hold on. And takes off. Tommy, she goes so fucking fast that we're going, I'm gonna say about 35 miles per hour in my head. I'm guessing, but so fast, you don't wanna jesky

just goes up and starts going, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Jetsky just goes up and starts going and then she says all right I'm gonna dig a hole and I went what and she cuts it now apparently Leandh does this thing where she rides on the Jetsky with her and cuts it and digs a hole and kind of spins it out but we're going too fast to do that and I get fucking thrown from the Jetski just oh She is the Jetski's going sideways across the water because she's not heavy enough to hold on to it I hit the water with my head and the Jetski slams into the side of my body And it knocks the wind out of me it bruises my whole fucking hip like I'm like and I was laughing because I'm going

Huh, you know when you get the wind you're like, huh? And I was going I go no baby daddy's hurt. She's like wind, you're like, huh? And I was going, huh? I go, no, baby, daddy's hurt. She's like, no, you're not. Get on the jet ski. I go, baby, and I'm now pissed. I go, get the fuck off the jet ski. I'm getting on, you're getting on behind me. We're going back in.

And so I pull the jet ski. I mean, so much fucking pain. I pull the jet ski back into a little lagoon where everyone hangs out. All the girls are in their life, that's Bob and in the water, and Leanne goes, why are you guys back so fast? And Adda just goes,

dad's about to tell you one of his dad stories. And I'm like, and all of a sudden, I got no, no one ever believes this has happened to me. My wife doesn't believe it. She doesn't believe that it happened? She goes, you got thrown from the Jetski, it happens. It's scary, I know, I go, no hold on. I've been thrown from a Jetski. I didn't just get thrown from the Jetski. I go,'s scary, I know. I go, no hold on. I've been thrown from a jet ski.

I didn't just get thrown from the jet ski. I go, I fucking flew off and she goes, that's impossible. I go, bullshit. I go, it's not impossible. I go, my head hit, then the jet ski hit my body and they go, I don't believe it. So the next day I go, I think you need to see this bruise,

Tom, it was the smallest bruise. It was so small and they go, it's another one of dad's stories. The dad's stories, yeah. And I never got any props. If you bring it up, they're like, I want to try to dig a hole. Dad didn't hold on. And I was like, and I told Eila, I said to her, this has been my punishment. I said, I will never get on a jet ski with you ever again

for the rest of your life. Ever. And she'll be like, well, that means that if Georgia goes with mom, I can't go. And I go, yeah, that's right. That means you can't go. And I've held that until this past trip, we went, we took to, we took to,

and you went on, I said, I'll go on with you, but this is how you build trust, as you don't hurt me. And she was like, come on dad. And then at one time, she's going fucking 35 miles per hour and she goes, old time, six, I say we'd dig a hole. And I went, I fucking, I've punished that kid in my head. I just, how long ago was the dig a hole incident?

It's gotta be, it's gotta be a while ago, probably like four years ago, five years ago. But you let her, you got on with her this week? I got on with her when we went to like, I have a suit, I got on. She drove? Got on a jasky with her and I said, listen, but what makes her laugh is me being scared.

Yeah, it makes me laugh too. Yeah, and I'm like, it's not fun. I go, I'm not joking. And she goes, I know, but it, because you're serious, that's why it's funny. Yeah, my mom's like that. Like, she gets really scared. One of the things that really scares her,

if you just, I go up behind her and I pick her up off the ground And she really freaks out like yeah full panic like well dig her nails in and like fucking draw blood because she's so freaking out And I'll still do it to her, you know like a I'll pick her up Screaming I'll a litter bed on fire yesterday. What? They're screaming. I'll a little bit on fire yesterday. What? She comes running into my room white as it goes eyes wide as fuck she goes okay everything's okay Just so you know everything's okay ignore the fire alarm and I went viral arm. She was dead

Yeah, I couldn't even see it coming. I had these paper towels by the candle the paper towels don't fire I freaked out I threw them on my, and it caught my sheets on fire. Listen, we have to tell mom about this, do we? I go, we're definitely telling mom about this. You're fucking mine. Jesus Christ. That's why I don't like candles in the house. I'm a pussy, man.

I don't want candles in the house. I have a fire, I have a fire, too. We all do. We add candles on, you ever get to just keep by the way on the ocean? Yeah. That's way different. The most I've ever physically hurt myself with that was definitely gonna die.

Was jet skiing in the Canary Islands. And I went off of a wave. Whoa! Jet skiing in the Canary Islands? I went off of a wave. I was like, oh, I only jet skied on lakes and stuff before. I was like, I'm fucking, I feel like I'm 40 feet in the air. I was like, ah! And then I just hit so goddamn hard.

And I was like, this shouldn't be legal. I'm not gonna go to the binary islands. I said, fuck it. Dude, the, uh, I saw, I watched because of those fucking surfers I follow, they have those guys on Jetski's. One time I was in, do your porn on a Jetski, do your directing. By the way, I jacked off on the Jeskey before.

Long story. Long story. How long ago? 30. Okay. 30 years ago, 34 years ago. Yeah. Just when you're a kid, you can just take it out. I was just in the middle of the ocean and something just fucking passed me by and I was trying to go

I was trying to summon a mermaid I agree with that being a mermaid showed up when you when you hit the water Jack it off Oh, it just gets you pops up she goes oh god And I'm like did I just mean to a mermaid? So my head is empty Oh, I know you don't know no I get it from SF grippy So my head is empty. What kind of hat is that? I don't know.

You don't know? No, I get it from SF Grippy. He's great man, he sends me hats all the time. I fucking love this dude. He's even fun to him on what? You want to do the hat update? Yeah. Everybody asks about the hats.

Oh yeah. So this time we're going to do something different. So they take a while because it's a partnership with Newira and Minor League Baseball and us. Oh my God. Yeah, the... Do you know I put out feelers to play on a Minor League Baseball team and I got some replies. What?

Are you gonna play? I'm gonna play a game on a Minor League Baseball team. I love it. I love it. I would love to. I love it. Once again, I feel like it's like I follow some kids to play Minor League Baseball and so I was like,

I was just started watching them. And it was just like, they were having so much fun. You gotta do a porn. You gotta do a porn. Yeah, right? Yeah. You could do a bunch of different points. We got a surfer porn.

We got a minor league baseball porn. So what if I can do a mashup with like the Burm Durham Bulls? And it's their whole team with a bunch of 21 year olds and then we have Annie from, you remember Susan Sarandas character? She comes in and they all just fucking run a train on her I don't know you're talking about you never saw the bull Durham oh Bull Durham Annie was Susan Sarandas character She fucked young guys and taught them how to become she was like

40 in that 42 in that movie, okay, so she fucked 20 year old dudes and taught them how to figure out how to go to the pros Oh, okay, so we just do a mashup of I bet the brim Durham Bulls love this idea. They reached out legit and they were like, I'm in. They may have just changed their mind. They're like, I think we're gonna pass. Yeah. Stop making the jersey, stop making the jersey.

They just were like, I just can't sell that. So, okay, so we, last time it was like 90 seconds, everything sold out. So we put in a bigger order, but what we'll do is, when they arrive, instead of being like, hey, during this episode, and we'll give you a week heads up, so we're gonna say it, or whatever, three or four days.

Yeah. But I know that they're in production, and that we'll have an actual, hey, they're here soon, update for you. The, I can't believe it's, we've already done an hour. I think it's barely moved. What, conversation?

No, you don't want to think about buying a jet ski? Do it, I was thinking about buying a jet ski because I was like, I want a boat, I wanted to sail boats, I followed these guys on. What if you can pull up to share a pove's place? Oh, jet ski. I bet that would look so pimp. So pimp.

And you got a couple of racquets in a backpack and you're like, you wanna hit a couple balls? It pull up and like, yo, say we bang. She's like, what? I mean, tennis balls, my bad. I was a bad thing to say on a jester. You got a greater in Russian.

Is Vinity a piejolsta? Did you tell us, little tennis? What's tennis in Russian?oy tennis. But Bullshoy tennis. Bullshoy tennis. Type in, type in, type in, hey Maria. Oh yeah. There you go. Type in, hey Maria, would you like to play tennis and then possibly be an extra in a porn I'm shooting? I guess we just lost Maria Cheribovitch too Okay, and now play it. And Maria would like to play tennis with a status in my porn.

There you go. Just clip that, put it on your phone. Here do it again. I'll do the voiceover to it, okay? Ready? Go! And Maria would like to play tennis or be a statistic in my porn. There you go. Yeah, this would be an extra, she's just following her. Okay, I got you. This is awesome, we can do messages to people in all different countries. We're definitely good. This is a great idea, whatever, who's someone we should talk to in like,

We're definitely good. This is a great idea whatever who's who's someone we should talk to in like in like let's do let's do a What language do they speak in let's see Serbia? Is there any Japanese? Chinese yeah of course again. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah All right Oh, do you ever see the Japanese stop motion porn that I told you about? No. So this guy that comes in and he's like, it's, I think it's fucking, I couldn't stop watching because I was just so bizarre the way he does it.

Dude, you wanna see something bizarre? Yeah, and by the way, pull up. Japanese porn freeze time. I know I've talked about this on the podcast, I have to have, stop, stop time porn. Porn Freeze Time. I know I've talked about this on the podcast, I have to have stopped time porn, stop time porn. There it is, that is it, just click it. So this is what this guy does. Oh, go to the subway, go to the subway, go to the subway, subway one.

So this is what this guy does, Tom. He's got a thing that frees his time. Let's take a big train, please. Skip ad. So this guy has a thing that frees his time, right? Okay. And he goes into like, he's on a train. Right.

This is so far, so good, right? Normal. Okay, yes. This guy's like, what's this keeping? Keep going, keep going. Get back on the train. Where are we not on the train going get back on the train. Where are we not on the train get back on the train It's a two-hour movie. Yeah scroll to find the train

There you go, okay, go back go back go back. There you go right there So what he does is he freezes? Oh time and then they stop they can't move So right now he's in a classroom and he's got a thing that frees his time. And then he's just molests everybody. By the way, why do you have to fucking blur that out? Because everyone's frozen in time, right? Yeah. And then, what is that a pen?

Yeah, he put a pen in there. That's not that sexy. What else happens? And so then all of a sudden, it unfreeze this time. And everyone's like, wait, what the fuck? Like a pen in my ass? Yeah, let it go up there. See that one, the one that is just frozen?

Right? Yeah. This dude's super fucking weird, man. Yeah, his face is just going like, just casually move forward. So we get to the part where they unfreeze Okay, and then they're like wait what the fuck just happened to us that we get fucked that's what's happening right here Yeah, they're like oh my god, man I got I'm just having more guys because I just woke up and I someone's been fucking with my body. Yeah

It's the craziest porn because it's like how do you find this? I just, it came up in my list. But what's crazy about it is that, you're asking a porn, they're hiring porn stars to just do nothing. This one, I've seen this one when they're on the train, right? So he just freezes it and then he goes, all right, I know what you do. Oh, so this guy's like with us.

This guy figured it out too, but she's frozen So they just go around and just go hey, I'm gonna get you totally naked, but then they wake up and I'm like what the fuck? Yeah That's a good It's a weird porn because imagine if they go Look everyone's frozen and then all sudden they're unfrozen like wait what the who sticks in my mouth? How the fuck did this happen? What the fuck? Where did my clothes go?

Holy shit! Hey, what? This guy's behind me, was he fucking me? Like, it's the craziest. And now she's having her all-or-orgasms happen at once where she's like, it's the weirdest because you're asking a porn star,

hey, can you just not do anything and I just molest you while you stand there? Yeah, it's, um, yeah, you could, is that what you want to do for yours? I don't know, I wouldn't mind trying one. I wouldn't mind doing that and then I'll just go around and just go, yeah, yeah, yeah. You head okay? Head is so itchy. Oh, this is what I wanted to show you.

Hold on. I definitely can't play this on the Screen right here watch this this is wild How is she doing that to herself What amazing aim she has and by the way She's punching it like she's making sourdough bread. Yeah. Where did you find that? In our inbox.

Someone sent that to you? Yeah. Yep. Oh, I'm so much happier I get hats. That's aggressive. Those are things that you can't unsee. Yeah. I remember being in a... Are we gonna go to the podcast livesee. Yeah. I remember being in a,

are we gonna go do the podcast live somewhere? Yeah. He's got a message about that. Yeah, do wait from who? Yeah, from agent. Oh, for real? Yeah. You wanna do that?

Yeah, did you see that? Can I show you the thing? Hmm. I'll send you. God damn it. I'll send you goddamn it. I'm never gonna be able to find this. I'll show to you after I got a mockup of what the show's gonna look like.

It looks fucking badass. What show? I'll tell you about it. Okay, it's awesome. Really? Yeah, it really is awesome. Some guy sent me a mock up of how they're gonna do the show

because they can do it socially distanced. What show? Two Bears Live. Oh, okay, okay. And so I immediately said, I wanna do it with Tom. And I sent it to someone and said, hey, set this up. And so it's, he sent me a,

they have a virtual mock up of it. It looks fucking awesome. Okay, cool. So two Bears Live guys, it mock-up of it. It looks fucking awesome. Okay cool So two bears live guys, it's coming. All right, it's coming Sounds good. It's gonna be fucking fun. And we gotta go hard in the paint. Do we get do we eat edibles? We got hold on what we need to make it like if we're gonna do a two bears live We got to make it like an event like we can't just go like stand on stage and just talk. We need to do big shit like,

like take it to the next level, porn stars. Like, like if we, I don't know, it just can be bigger than, it can be bigger than just us talking. That's wrestle. We could do wrestling, we could do, we could do, we could, what we can do is, oh like someone gets a tooth pulled or something. We can do that.

Five and have to say, oh, we can do cocaine. Finally, everybody keeps asking me, oh my God. Doing it live might be the shit. Dude, how crazy would it be if we did cocaine, you had a heart attack, but you live. Yeah, I'm like, uh, fuck, we have Drew there. And he's like, clear! Clear!

Did that be a- Get your hands off him! A live two bears won cave when we do cocaine. That'd be awesome. And we have a- So I'm doing, I'm going to a racetrack and I wanted to ask people, um, anybody out there who recommends, uh, helmet, good helmet for me, go ahead and let me know. Cause they always have good recommendation.

Oh really? Yeah. I think the audience, if you ask for some of the audience, knows. You know one of my favorite things ever. I was at a bar in Dublin, Ireland with cow head. Yeah. And we had, we were doing his show from the place of the bar

and we had motorcycle helmets on maybe we need a motorcycle Helmets on we had motorcycle helmets on so that you had the wired into the motorcycle helmet and the microphone So only we could hear each other. Yeah, so and you are on the Floor of the bar, but you had a motorcycle helmet so you're just talking shit You're like and there was a tons of people and a lot of beautiful women. And that was broadcasting though? And they were broadcasting, but what was great was when they weren't broadcasting, we kept the motorcycle helmets on and kept drinking

and just kept talking shit about people around us. We're like, oh my god, look at this one. It was the funnest time I've ever had that I wanna do that as an event where I go, hey guys, we're going to a bar, let's all get motorcycle helmets and let's all talk about the people in the bar. And then we just look around and motorcycle helmets

So much fun Yeah, and but like they they can't hear you they can't hear you so you're like oh my god This fucking fat fuck standing right next to me and everyone's just dying laughing You're like look at this piece of shit and then and then the guy just turns you was hey, what's up man? You're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey and we could go somewhere and broadcast from somewhere where the people in the room didn't know we were broadcasting, you know what I mean? Everyone just had motors like, a motorcycle helmet kind of gives it away. You're like, what's this guy in the motorcycle helmet?

The Apple store. Hey, why don't you guys just take those off? We're like, cause we're doing a show. What if we did it at the Grove, right? Perfect idea. We do it at the Grove. We do a live show.

We only sell like a hundred tickets. Everyone's got motorcycle helmets on. And they're just, and you're like, all right guys, let's go into gap and The gap would shut down 100 people in motorcycle oh, but it's walking Black helmets with black visors like the mirror visor Is this a protest

People in motorcycle homes just are laughing hysterically at a no-wap The mirror visor is this a protest Yeah, you think a bomb's about to go off immediately Like you see such panic on people's faces Maybe like auntie fuss taking over Okay, this seems like a better idea on paper Let's go to cold stone guys Everyone freeze and everyone stops Let's do it so give us a shout out for a good motorcycle. Okay, I and everyone just stops and we can act so much fun with motorcyclists. Let's do it.

So it gives us a shout out for a good motorcycle helmet. Okay. I want one for the race track too. Don't forget. How funny would that be when we call them motorcycle helmet parties? And everyone just goes to the grove. You sell it like,

It's a really good idea actually. It really is. It's 100 tickets. It's limited. You got to still got it. $100 ticket doesn't include your motorcycle. And everyone just gets wired. And then you're like, and then you just do the fun

and you film the whole thing. Yeah. So you're doing the funniest thing. You're like, all right guys, we're gonna do MC Hammer Dance right now. And then everyone just starts doing it. Everyone's like, what the fuck are these? And then someone goes, then the cops show up, right?

And they're like, all right, who's in charge here? And we go, everyone raise their hands. And they're like, no, no, seriously, for real one guy. And they go, all right, everyone put their hands down. And now Tom, raise your hand. All right, drop it, I'm gonna raise my hand. Now, just go around, like, I would be fun as fucking shit. Yeah, it actually, it feels like an art project, actually.

It does feel like an art project. We could do it at the grove, we could do it in a football game. I think people would really like it. Yeah, really do. Hit us up and see if you'd wanna do a motorcycle humming party with us. What's your teeth thing? Oh, I wanted to, I would say,

how come they don't make like a white out for your teeth? Aren't you doing your sleep thing? Or you're saying, Oh, fuck did I miss it? Is it a Thursday? No, it's tomorrow. Oh yeah, tomorrow. I do my thing to sleep thing tomorrow.

At your house. Right? Yeah. Yes. And what happens? He's coming to your house. He's coming to my house. He's going to try different ones on you.

I don't, I think he's just got to take my blood pressure and then analyze my nose. Yeah. And then he's going to, we're going to, I think we're just going to start buying sleep apps. Sleep apps. And then just trying them out. But you're going to have one tomorrow too?

I'm going to have one tomorrow.. I'm gonna have one tomorrow. I think it's the full face mask. Yeah, right? You're gonna sleep. Is that what you use? No, I don't have one. But you're gonna sleep so different. I hope so.

You don't use anything. I use a mouthguard like a custom mouthguard. No, it's a game changer. I don't use anything. And I said I wasn't gonna drink this week, so I'm getting ready to go on the road and I gotta lose weight. I thought you said you just drank two bottles of wine. I said I was gunna not drink. That's not what happened. Oh, almost to his annex last night and I was like I can't work out

to put you as annex. Sure you can. Give it a shot. It's so hard. You don't need to try that. I like to take his annex get on the treadmill and then pretend I'm running away from Bill Cosby. And I'm like oh god he's catching me. Do you ever do zanix in a beer? I was like, oh God, he's catching me. Do you ever do Xanix in a beer? Yeah. When I was a freshman, there was a kid on the football team in college who he had some injury. Big fucking O-Lineman.

And after, I checked on him. He's on my hall. I was like, hey, doing, he goes'm fine, you know, they gave me these Pain pills, but I don't want them. I don't need them. And I was like, I'll take him And he gave me these like full bar perks that were so strong I mean, he was at 290 pound guy and And I took one of those and had a beer and just woke up the next morning on the couch and a pool of drool. And those are my favorites.

And I'm hoping to get some tomorrow. Oh, that's right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be like, the only thing that works are those perks. I've been a lot of pain. I remember, I remember one time I was going to get, I think I fell off something or we got hit by something

and they were like, and that was in the doctor and they're like, so I want to scale the one to 10, how bad your pain and I go, 10. And they're like, well, you said that pretty quick. Like, we want to analyze it. And I was like, hold on, does seven get me pills? And they're like, are you just trying to get pills? And I was like, 10, it's 10, it's 12, it's 12.

Like, I'm in a lot of pain. I can barely go to sleep, okay? I bet those percussettes are fucking, when I fell in a lot of pain. I can barely go to sleep. Okay. I Bed though. I those percuss sets are fucking when I fell for waterfall. I got addicted to oxies. Oxies are pretty fucking insane I'll try to get them see what I they give them they give them pretty easy. I'm just gonna be like I'm gonna really feels like I have cancer How about a little little action there doc? I'm gonna I'm gonna go for it, see what I can get. Yeah, and tell him double. Say, oh, just, you know, my buddy.

He's also hurt. My buddy's going through the same surgery and his doctor's a dick. You imagine the doctor's like, oh, your friend's not feeling, yeah, let me double up on that for you. I would, this is the funniest look I've ever seen on the end's face.

We have Ila, and it's like five months later and I'm in the upstairs bathroom in our old place and I look at Leanne's prescription pills and I'm like, hey babe, these are about to expire. Should we kill these? And she comes in and she goes, are you about to be eat my pregnancy medicine? Like my painkillers for my pregnancy?

And I said, well, they're about to expire. We don't want to go bad. She was like, what are painkillers for my pregnancy, and I said, well, they're about to expire. We don't want to get to go bad. She was like, what are you gonna eat them for? You hurt? And I said, no, just eat them. It's Sunday. Like, the fat fun. Yeah, well fucking each take two,

and then we'll fucking hang out and have a good time. She was like, maybe that was for me delivering a child out of my vagina, and I went, yeah, I know, I bet they're awesome. Yeah. I've given, I remember. You try it? No, no, she took them away from me. Leanne's

really afraid of pills like yeah, I think it's because we're upbringing and that's that's what all her can do oh and so like like all the people around her town are all fucked up on pills. Has you ever have you ever had pills like prescribed you that I gave to Liam? No, like that she's seen you take while you're around her. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no, I've never taken a pill in front of her. No. Oh, never. I'm gonna be taking my blood pressure

matter so I'm gonna run over her. I take it, if I take a pill, she caught me one time. She caught me one time. I was in, we were in Tampa and I was really hungover and I didn't feel right now. I was like, I'm just gonna take a Xanax and level the salt and then just sleep the day away. And I took a Xanax and she goes,

did you take a Xanax? And I was like, how do you know? She goes, honey, I can tell it in your face. So if I take a Xanax, I could out and then just sleep the day away. Mm-hmm. And I took a Xanax and she goes, did you take a Xanax? And I was like, how do you know? She goes, honey, I can tell it in your face. So if I take a Xanax, I take it on the DL. She, she shuts down. One time, we took a vacation to Palm Springs. It was right before I went to South Africa to do that tour that everyone did.

And she had been a mom for the whole fucking time. We just had Georgia. We, she had just had Iowa. She had just had Iowa. We go to Palm Springs and she was like, I just wanna sleep. And I was like, when you take one of my Ambien? She was like, for real?

I was like, honey, you're fucking pass out. So we take an Ambien. She takes an Ambien. We have sex. We have a bottle of wine, right? Cause we eat dinner. We have a bottle of wine and in the middle, in our room. No, at the restaurant and at the restaurant she starts falling asleep and I go we get you back back to the hotel room. She's like, these things are really intense.

I'm like and she's like talking crazy, sending out racist tweets. No, but she gets back to the room. We were in Palm Springs for two days. She slept for 39 hours. She just kept sleeping and she wake up and then fall back asleep. And I said, I don't think she interacted well with my ambient. And our doctor said, our doctor friend said, yeah, cause they're prescribed for you. You gave him to her. She's half your fucking size. And I went, oh.

That's how science works. That's how science was like no wonder, I go in and she had a glass of wine, and they're like, you're not supposed to drink on those things. By the way, same doctor told me when I got him, cause I got him first South Africa, the five of us to South Africa. They were like, they were like,

take one, have like a couple glasses of wine, you'd be out like a dream. And I was like, is that doctor prescribed? They're like, that's what I do. And you're like, oh, that's right, you're also a dude. The state has told that California is so fuck now. You want anything like you have to go to the doctor to have that full exam to get a prescription now.

It's fucking stupid. By the way, I'm sure a lot of people have died off pills. Yeah, but that's not us. It's not us. You're gonna have it to me? We gotta run. Love you guys, love you. I hope you live through this surgery.

Thanks, man, hope so too. I'll take a prayers you guys. Love you. I love hope you live through this surgery. Thanks man. Hope so too. I'll take a prayers for you. Thank you. Bird time, time and bird. One goes top and swap the other. Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories and birds, the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean.

Here's what we call, screw bears one cake. No scripts, a beat a booze amateur Fatology dirty jokes Ranchie humor no apologies Here's what we call two bears one cave