2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 48 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bobby Lee

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

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You know my dad told me a story once, I don't know if this is true or not. Yeah. Because you know what? Japanese used to do to us. I go, no. Because I'm a kid. Yeah, and you're like eight. And eight.

And you're like, I'm used to, Mali pop, they used to hang Kodian by the Angol, with the rope. But below, they take a big, big pot of boiling water. Then they dunk. They dunk Korean in and we come out. Ha ha ha. Right? They dunk because everything they're layer skin gone.

Ha ha ha. Right? And he goes, good night. Ha ha ha. 100% Ha ha ha ha. Roberto, it's great to have you here. Yeah. And I was a little panicky. I just wanted, because I had, I wrote an opening monologue and I'm going to say it now.

Yeah, yeah. It was a little panicky because I know that you and Bert are real men. Right. Because they're sick, sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick.

I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'mologue and I'm gonna say it now. Yeah, yeah, it was a little panicky because I know that you and Burt are real men. Right.

Because they're thick, thick. Not with the CC, you know what I mean, the old school thick. Yeah, CK. You're right, right, right. And you guys are hunting, I don't know what you're hunting. Whatever it might be, you know what I mean, you guys drink like black coffee and you guys are into oak resin and knowing the difference between otters, beavers, and porcupines,

and the different, yeah, they're different, an Amelia, an Amelia kingdom. This is your assessment of just fat white guys. Well, no, I just, because I, the only thing I know about the show is this. And so you're like, oh, it's a wilderness show. Because it's a wilderness, right?

And I panicked, I'm like, I got a research, but then I'm like, fuck it, I'm not doing any of it. But how could you think knowing Bert and I that there's a show about something like that and not just two friends busing each other's balls? You know, I'll be honest with you. I know you more than I know the other one.

Yeah, yeah, mothers. The other one comes to my house twice. He drinks a lot, right? How much? A lot. Like it was a no- Like I'm comfortable. No, I mean, I wouldn't call like, he's not bar fly. He drinks a lot, right? How much? A lot. Like it was a lot of... I'm comfortable.

I mean, I wouldn't call like, he's not bar fly. No, the thing is that like his tolerance is through the root. Right, so. He's not like Charles Bukowski. No, close. But you, very close though. Very close, but you did take note, like,

oh wow, that's a lot to take it. I don't think I would go on the road with him. I don't think that I would like be on an island with him. I think that things would happen. Sure. I would sleep and I hear, and when the booze runs out, a whole different guy would come out.

Right, and then I need trauma therapy afterwards. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he stuck it in this, and he put me in this, and the marshmallows and the candy, right? And then the ping pong balls flying out of my bottle hole. Yeah.

And I have a paddle. I can just play regular ping pong. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. You think that would happen. I don't know. You don't know with him. So it's like, I don't know.

But when you asked me to do this, you know, there was a panic you have to understand. And with you, I know you and Chris Dyer have been together for a very long time, have met your kids, barely. I've seen them. Right, yeah. I went, yeah, yeah. And so I don't know, you know, I think I know you, but we haven't, you know, what are

the best of friends, you know? Yeah, I like to be. I like, dude, I like to be. Let's make this episode about becoming best friends. Yeah, because that's a defense mechanism. Right. Yeah, by the way, those are super good. Anyway, did you go to the store for them

or did you order them online? Are they a pandemic purchase? No, I go to Hawaii sometimes. And you walked around the, yeah. Well, in Maui, right? Yeah. I go to the four seasons. Yeah Big thanks you big I don't stay there. I stay at the Grand Wile. Yeah, okay, you'll shop at the four seasons

Yeah, I got you there. Yeah, no this four seasons too expensive. Yeah, that's right stayed So you really stay at the four seasons? I mean I did when I went there. Yeah, I stayed at the ghetto one Yeah, with the water slides. Water slides are cool. Yeah, but it's pretty ghetto. It's full expensive though. Everything in Hawaii is expensive. Oh my God. I got one of those.

Are you a big Hawaii guy? Fuck yeah, dude. You go a lot. Look at me. You look. What's that, bag? Oh, that's it. This is it.

I want like this. Keep a loose, bro. Keep a loose, bro. You know? Yeah, I go because, I know it's close. And then also close. It's like, it's like our flight. What's not a cure, it's not like, you know,

burbank, right, right, right. But it's like closer than New York. About the same. It's exact the same. Yeah, yeah, it's not close. It's not close. Let me say that again. It's far.

It's pretty far. Yeah, I go because it's far. Yeah, and it's exotic. It's awesome. It's not close. Let me say that again. It's far. It's pretty far. Yeah, I go because it's far. And it's exotic. It's awesome. And I go because I should have you been to all the islands? I've been to Maui, the one with the Honolulu on it. The one with the Oahu. Yeah, Kauai.

Kauai. And those only ones. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And I go because I'm going in October to do Magdum Kiai because I'm reoccurring on that show. And so what's production going to be like? Because we have to, okay, we haven't because I'm going in October to do macdom key. I because I'm a reoccurring on that show and so what's production going to be like because we have to okay We haven't seen each other in a while I

Got real lucky in that from the last time I saw you you did answer a couple of texts That was pretty exciting. So this goes back to wanting to be friends like I've texted you before and like never gotten texts back And then I see you and you go yeah, I'll text you back and then you then you did after I called you out on it Yeah, well, I've reverted back to my own behavior. Mm-hmm and I haven't been testing people back at all I don't have learned a couple of bridges. Okay, and But I've texted you back, but I'll tell you this you can feel comfortable with me Knowing that if you don't text me back. It's all right, man Okay, really? Yeah, thank you. I mean, I'm literally I'm literally don't text me back, it's all right, man.

It's okay. Really? Yeah, thank you. I mean, I like it. I'm literally not gonna text you back now. I like it. I want to do it because I want to do it because, I honestly believe this is to check it out.

So check it out. We're like, okay, so, I have to say that podcasting, right? In general has reinvented my career, I believe. Yeah. It's, you're really good at it. I don't yeah, it's you're really good at it I don't know I don't know about that you're really good at it. I just talk you're good at it There's no filter or whatever part of why you talk about weird things, you know, I mean yeah, man I was molested and all that time. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah, and I sucked you know, I mean yeah, was that the disabled guy? Yeah, I don't want to

Because I've said it so many times I know is that who I mean? Yeah. Was that the disabled guy? Yeah, I don't want to go for it, because I've said it so many times. I know, but is that who you blue? Yeah, everyone knows that, and you don't have to bring that back up. But yeah, that's who. It was a guy with downtown. Okay. Yeah, yeah, but I don't know why you keep a good event.

But yeah, you keep the litigate. You keep the litigate. Okay, I'll let it go. I'll let it go. But how were you? 9, 10, 11, I don't know. And he was like teens. No, he was in his early 20s,

but I don't want to revert back to it, and I know what you're trying to do, and it's clever. I mean, why people do it, and it's clever. What do why people do? Why people are clever, they're crafty. They, they, oh. Oh, no. Put on the COVID-19, huh?

Just broke a fucking chair. And also, births, it's here, so it's very scary. This is the first day with this chair. Oh, and it's, oh, thank God, thank God. I'm'm like if Bert didn't do that to the chair. I'm getting fat. You're okay But yeah, so I'm not I'm gonna Let's go back to crafty white people or where we going to no, I want to get bass I don't even go I don't want anyone to go into crafty white people because It's gonna go back to the down syndrome and then it's gonna. I'm gonna talk about again

Okay, I'm never gonna talk about ever again. Okay, okay. Fair enough. So anyway, podcasting has... Re-invented you, Re-invented. I know what I talk about. I was just trying to... I know, and the thing is,

is so, you know, my podcasting family, I wanna keep close to, and I really appreciate it because I think that without you, without Tom, not Burke. Yeah. Oh, why guys look alike. Oh, why guys look alike. It's fucking racist. That's fucking racist. I literally forgot.

So without Tom Sagar and you and Brooke Reicher and without a couple of people I can't mention, The Ovan, the Red, and then also Whitney and some of the... This circle, guys we fuck, you know, Andy Sheldon and the Stefano from New York. I want to keep close contact with you because I think that you guys helped me get to a place where things are a little better for me. And I appreciate it. Yeah, that's why I was asked to fill in for a bird. I didn't hesitate. Thank you for that. You're welcome. I mean, I'll tell you this.

I've always, I've told you this before. I've always enjoyed being around you. I've always been a fan of you both before. I've always enjoyed being around you. I've always been a fan of you both on stage, on screen, and doing these podcasts. And I wish I got to hang out with you more. I'm serious. I've told you that every time that I've hung out with you, that I wish I could hang out with you even more.

So I thank you for coming here. But here's the good news. What? When you hear the good news? Yeah. You're hanging out with me more than most people. Right now. Right now.

So it's like, I don't, you know, my girlfriend is so mad. No, no, she's just like, you know, she thinks that if I get the COVID, I'll just die immediately. Oh, no. No, I'll get it and my eyes will pop out and I'll go into both of them.

Why did she think that? Because, you know, when I get sick, I get sick, like from the regular flu or the cold. You get really sick. Yeah, and I also, I'm a smoker. And I'm not in the best health. Is your overall health poor? I have high blood pressure.

And so I take blood pressure medication. Okay. You really pop those bees, you go blood pressure. Like, is that always, you always do it like that? Or is that like a... Well, I think that, um... It's like, I got blood pressure medicated. Like, is that a... Is that a thing now do it like that? Or is that like a... Well, I think that, um... It's like I've, but I think blood pressure in Medicaid, like, is that a...

Is that a thing now? It's funny. No, okay, if you, you're calling it out. I'm just saying... I will address it. Okay. No, I'll address it. Okay.

I think that, um, it's, when I was in my early 20s, right? Yeah. I met a girl and she goes, you were born in Korea? And I go, I'm gonna be even been there and she's like you have an accent I go what I don't have an accent. Yeah, that's an accent. I'm having an accent right what the fuck you talk You know I was crazy right yeah, yeah, so I started getting paranoid like maybe I do have an accent an Asian accent Mm-hmm. So now I see blood, you know, I pronounce it. Oh, yeah.

And it's all tied to that incident to the person saying that. Well, yeah, and then it's like, as opposed to how, I mean, how would you lazily say blood pressure? Like there, would you say in a way that someone would think you would have an accent if you didn't announce it like that? Like say blood pressure.

Blood pressure. Blood pressure. Yeah, I mean, I know, but to that lady, I would sound Asian. Oh, regardless, because of a eyes or whatever, I think I don't know. Sometimes it is weird though, and I'm not saying it's about Asian. I'm saying, any part, you ever talk to somebody and you're in a conversation and you're noting and you're sensing a notable accent, right? Like they could be like,

yeah, the thing over the thing, and you're like, oh, where are you from? And they're like Cleveland. And you're like, no, no, no, but like, where were you born? And they're like Cleveland. And you're like, wait a minute. So are your parents? And they're like, they're from Cleveland too.

And you're like, what are you doing right now? Like, what's going on? And they're like, yeah, just, why are you telling me I'm from somewhere? I'm like, okay, going on? And they're like, yeah, why are you telling me I'm from somewhere? I'm like, okay man. But do I sound like that? Fuck no, you don't sound like that.

I like Glebru. Say it again? Glebru. I sent something. Something, yeah. Something small. And so I'll tell you that I used to do constructions. Yeah.

Now that would be like the unnecessary S is a tell. Someone can speak really clear English and say things mostly correct without a nodal accent. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know., I get a call from a Korean guy.

Yep. A goes, A. And I go, what's up? I'd you get my number. If no people, I know people, that's what he says. And the people, I know people, I go, okay, so what's up? He's up. My name is JYP. You know what JYP is? He's like the puff daddy of Korea.

Right. So he like, um, all those, you know, BLM, what about BTS and in the right, BLM's a little different. BLM, BLM, he loves BLM. Mm-hmm. That's Joy JYP. So you're talking about like producer.

You're talking about JYP. So you're talking about the huge pop groups, right? The Korean pop. He calls me this guy, right? This guy calls you, Han- And he goes, hey, you don't do music videos? And I go, what the fuck, I go, what? Do the music videos, you wanna do it?

And I go, dude, what music video, who are you? You Google in me, Google in me, he says. It's like Google, I'm right. I go, oh fuck, this guy's legit. So I call him back. What's that, Doc? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he flew me out there.

Jesus. So he flew my brother and I out there. I go, he go, fly out, he go, fly out, I give you, I give you two the grain. And I just played high ball girl. What hotel am I staying at? Whatever you want to right yeah, so I picked like the most I went to the W Yeah, in Seoul because I liked it on the internet Mm-hmm, and I the next thing I know I was like in a silver costume with silver bell bottoms shooting this video

Yeah, I have silver makeup with alien antennas is the the video for BTS? No, it was for a girl group called Wonder Girls. Why, okay, can I ask you this real quick? This is a sidebar. Why are the pop groups so significantly popular from Korea? It's like, I mean, in your opinion, as opposed to, you know, like we're not hearing about, about them from really other places. It's like, Korea is the spot.

Do you have an opinion on it? I do, but I'm afraid to say it. No, that's the best kind, say it. I don't know. It's, well, you know, we're good. We're just good people. No, no, yeah, yeah, we're good people. Come on, man.

What? I know there's an interesting thought in here about from you. Just tell me It's not a good thing what I want to say, but you know I think that there's a sense of perfectionism when it comes to Korean like because I think that because we were oppressed As a people in the Japanese. Oh fuck bro. I wrote down here what these favorite agents favorite Asians, so it's more to you to give me a list. They're not my feet,

least favorite. What's your least favorite? I can't say it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I could I tell you why? Do the right. Okay. Oh, sorry. Could I tell you why? Yeah.

Because what you're leading me down a path where pop was getting, like, in trouble because what happened was 15 years ago, right? I said, Vietnamese are jungle Asians. Right. I don't, I don't mean it. Right. Right. And I said, the Vietnamese are jungle Asians. I don't mean it. Right. And I didn't mean it then.

I just said it. Right, that's what we do. I know, but I said it. Yeah. Next thing I know, I'm going to, the Vietnamese news, right? And newspapers and apologizing, crying, please, I'm sorry, you know.

Okay, we got past them. So what I'm saying, we got past them. There's a bunch of other countries that we could talk about, you know. Okay, we got past them. I know, we got past them. There's a bunch of other countries that we could talk about, they're people. But I love them, every Asian race. No, you don't. I know. Let's start there.

I mean, first of all, you have real reasons with the Japanese. Let's get into them for a little bit. Yeah, well, the Japanese, you know, they oppressed our people for like 50 years and um they stole a rice yeah you don't steal the rice you don't steal the rice. That's fucked up. When you steal the rice that's fucked up. Yeah and you know what Asians we love it. We don't know what it is about it. Are the in it's not cute. It's chewy.

It's chewy so this is they're not your least favorite though. Yeah, so what the my dad told you know my dad told me a story once in a I don't know if this is true or not. Yeah, but he told me one day right before I went to sleep It was maybe eight because you know what? Japanese used to do to us I go No, cuz I'm a kid. Yeah, and you're like eight and eight And you're like, I'm a master. Yeah, and you're like eight. And eight. And you're like, they use the malle part, they use the hand,

put it on by the ankle with the rope. I go, oh, it's like a reverse. You can't die that way. Right, right? It's like a reverse hanging. Yeah. Like we used to do here. You're like, for fun?

Yeah, yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they from a tree. And I go, oh, but below, they take a big, big pot of boiling water. Boiling water. And I'm sleeping like this, yeah? Because then they dunk.

They dunk Korean in and we come up. Right? They dunk because every time they're layer skin-gone. Right? And he goes, good night. Good night, father. He used it. I'm not kidding.

Tell you a story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I'm like, yeah, I didn't sleep. That's why I have a hard time sleeping. Yeah. Because of the story. My dad was the opposite with, for a year, I mean, I did it on stage, I didn't sleep. That's why I have a hard time sleeping. Yeah. Because of the story, my dad was the opposite with for a year, I mean, I did it on stage,

but it was really true where I would be like, you know, when you're a kid, a boy, you're some fascination with like guns and things, right? And I would ask him these things and he'd be very like, not really, and then I knew my dad was in the Marine Corps, I knew he fought in Vietnam. So then I was like seeing movies. And I would be like, right.

What was that like? He was like, well, you know, I was Lieutenant, really wasn't like blah, blah, blah. Year after year, I'd be like, did you kill people in war? And he was like, it wasn't like that. When you're a Lieutenant, you're in charge of the platoon. And I was like, okay. And then like these stories, I was like,

you don't have like any stories from being in a fucking war. Yeah. And then like, like, I was like, you don't have like any stories from being in a fucking war. Yeah. And then like, now he'll be like, you just don't understand how good it feels when you see the enemy just blown apart, you know. And then, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. He told me, first of all, a few years ago, we talked about throwing grenades into bunkers. Uh-huh.

And then just last week, he was like, I go, so so throwing, you know, he's like, one of my guys threw a grenade and it was defective. So it blew up and it killed him. And I was like, fuck. I go, do you ever throw grenades? He's like, yeah, so what we would do is we'd throw a grenade into like a bunker and it would shock people. And then we would throw the TNT in there

with like a, I forget how he described it. He goes, there's no one left after that. It was like, cool. You how he described it, he goes, there's no one left after that. Like, cool. You know, if I threw a grenade, you know what, and you found like the, the strap on the grenade, you know what you would find on it? Parts of my hand.

Really? Yeah, there's no way I'd be able to throw it. Really? I would explode in my hand. I'd be like, why, why would you throw it? I don't know, I just feel like, because I feel like, you know,

there's a timing thing. Yeah. And because imagine the pressure. Yeah. Because when you do the thing, right, I just feel like I'm gonna be so nervous that I'm gonna be nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something's gonna happen, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad also does this thing, it's different than when you were a kid, but like, even now, we'll meet up and then it'll be at a dinner, like a nice, like a nice restaurant or something. Yeah, but you know who died? I'm not gonna be like, no. Yeah, like a nice restaurant or something. You know who died? I'm not really like.

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like my cousin. I'm like, what's my problem? I'm like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah. What do you want to get? You want to get your spare, like a trap case?

Oh really? I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Or he'll say, you know that hospital, near whatever highway. I'm like, yeah, he's like, yeah, there was a patient in there and they accidentally injected her with a toxic agent and she heard insights melted and she died so they're gonna she's gonna sue or her family's gonna sue yeah let's get Diet Coke and let's get a crap I'm like yeah what the fuck you and then that's how he like you know just has a nice but to tell a

little kid about that is crazy. Yeah, my dad used to do the same thing. Kaliila's uncle, right? Kaliila's uncle, one day just took a machete, you know, as you do, went to his brother, as you do, and chopped him in half. Really? Yes.

Chopped him in half. His own brother? His own brother. What was the... Because it had something to do with real estate. So I'm like, what? Right? Is he in prison?

Check it out. So check it out. So, um... She tells me that story, and then I go to the Philippines. And so I'm out, I'm hanging out with her family, and her uncle has his arms around me, some uncle. And I go,

I like this guy. And she's like, that's the one that killed a machete guy. I go, he's out of prison. And she's like, yeah. And I go, you really did that? Yeah. And that he laughed for a while. Yeah, he laughed. And then he would follow me around and smile. Like, eh, I mean, I'd be pretty good, and that I was so nice to him because I don't wanna get chopped. Yeah, of course, I mean, he killed his own brother like that. Yeah, you only served like a couple weeks when you do that. You know what's really, while I was watching some

of these prison shows, Netflix has a, I forget, one that's pretty good, and there's a lot of people. It's a call, fuck, I forget. It's a newer one. Like, inside the world's tough as prisons or something, and there's a guy who actually will go, but a lot of people he's a newer one. Like, inside the world's toughest prisons or something. And there's a guy who actually will go. But a lot of people are talking to, who murdered,

I guess we're just used to like murder here. Like you murdered someone in, you know, some part of Russia or Turkey. Yeah, this is it. And like the guy be like, yeah, they murdered someone like, how long are you doing? He's like, oh, eight years. And you're like eight years for killing someone.

That's crazy. Yeah, like really light sentences. What about the Chinaman who ate the white guy? You hear about that? Wait, are we talking about in Canada? Hmm. I'm not sure you shouldn't say Chinaman, right? Well, you can.

Oh, I forgot. You're not supposed to say Chinaman? I mean, like I said, I think it's okay for you. Why? If it's okay for you, not okay for me, it's not okay for you. Well, no, Chinatown is not generally accepted term. Wait, I know, but I think you would get a pass if you know what I'm saying. Right, right. So, the Chinat guy.

Okay, a man from a Chinese man? No, I don't want to say that. It sounds good. All right, yeah. Let's just say Chink. Yeah. Let's just say chink. Okay. Let's just say chink and then let it pass. So that guy. See that guy? Yeah, he looks mentally disturbed. Yeah, yeah. So he was on a Greyhound bus. Mm-hmm. Oh, I remember this. What happens? A guy, he was just randomly walking up the aisle and decapitated somebody, like cut their head off. No. There You step, there was a skater kid on a bus, right? Yeah, he was sitting next to a skater kid.

Okay. The skater kid is like 2019, 20 years old. And he's sleeping against a Greyhunt, the window. And you know, when you're sleeping on a Greyhunt bus and you're leaning against the window and you're sleeping, the last thing you think is a Chinaman's gonna eat you. Yeah, yeah, you don't know that. I mean, you think of other things that car accident eat you. Yeah, yeah, you don't know that. I mean, that's, you know, you think of other things

that car accident, whatever. Go back to that article. Yeah. Right? So, um, so the Chinese guy just decides, you know, it's a, you know, it's a spontaneous thing. You don't think you plan it. Right.

No plan eating a light. Yeah, yeah. So he just ate him, right? And then so I guess. People must have been freaking the fuck out. Oh, they took boss pulled aside People ran out when the cops try to get on you know, but he had two splines. How many splines are there really? So wait, let's see. Let's see some of these eat up

This guy's a diagnosis of frenicky killed McLean a young carnival worker who was a complete stranger a year later He was found not criminally responsible due to mental illness. Right. She's been outspoken to mother about this, but let's see, he was kept in a secure wing of a psychiatric hospital. His doctor told the board this week that he was confident Baker would remain. Honest medications and continue to work with his treatment team. You've got to be fucking shitting. She was at a mall I heard and she saw him shopping. No. Yeah, yeah. She was at a mall I heard and she saw him shopping. No.

Yeah, yeah. If like, and honestly, look at me, Tom, if anybody ate one of your kids, no, no, be real. Okay. I want you to be real for a second. Look at me right now, man. I am looking at you.

I ate your kid. Then you see me at North Terrstroms. No. Yes, yeah, I know. That's a scenario. I'll kill you at North Terrstrom. No, you wouldn't that's a scenario. Now kill you at North Terrstrom. No, you wouldn't. Oh, okay.

You wouldn't kill me. What would I do? Why, you'd be like, that's the guy. No, no, no, no, I don't think you would do that. But you would I am. You would I am, right? And you'd probably go, kind of under where is he by? And whatever it might be, right?

What is he buying? Yeah, right. And then you'd probably confront me, but you wouldn't kill me in the? In the middle of Northstrom. Why? Because it's a good, good, good kids. I know, but if you go to prison, you'd go to prison for that. Yeah.

So what would you do? Bobby, if somebody, if you, if you have a kid, I don't know. If you become a parent, if somebody hurts one of your kids, you don't really think like that, you're not, you don't think like, oh, I know. I should, I should think rash. I was just testing you. Yeah, you don't really think like that you're not you don't think like oh I know I should I should think rash testing you. Yeah, yeah, no, I would kill I would like I would dismember you and I would fucking I would try to make your fucking friends and family eat The fuck you didn't do that what you don't know. I don't know That's a horrible thing man terrible and it's all along the Chinese yeah I mean you don't eat anything, huh?

He did it. Is that what I'm going to do? I don't know. I'm going to trouble for this. Yeah, I'm always going to trouble. You keep saying the China virus. Are you really buying it? That's what you call it now?

No, I didn't call it. I didn't say that. I just tried it. I didn't fucking say that. I know. No, dude, fucking say that. I know. No dude, it's like, you know. Did you respect any of those labels? Kung Fu was funny.

When you first heard Kung Fu or you could chuckle. You can't say that's not funny. You can't say that's not funny. You can't, I mean, if you were in a writer's room and they're like, all right, it's gotta be like a virus that originates from Asia, people were his pension and someone was like, what about Kung Fu? Everyone would be like, I'd be like, we're bad Kung Fu,

everyone would be like, ha ha, no. That'd be my response, right? Yeah. So Kung Fu is funny, but I think that when you call, and if you don't understand this, you're dumb,

but it's like, you know, when somebody, you know, who is in a position of authority, yeah, yeah, it's throwing words like that out. You have to understand that people like me who have nothing to do with Asia at all. I mean, my parents are from there. Yeah.

But I'm an American citizen. I was born here. I don't know any other reality. Yeah. That, you know, you have to understand that that kind of rhetoric will harm people that look like they may have lived in this country. You have to understand that there's a connection there.

Yeah, and I agree. I think you're dumb racist. You're dumb if you don't get it, that it's going to fuels xenophobia. It's going to make people, especially people who are in a lot of parts of the country that are very white. A lot of white people are so segregated in this country, meaning that they don't interact. There's a lot of places where a white person will never really interact with people outside of their race

or very seldom. And in this case, if that's what they hear, they are gonna see an Asian person and be like, I'm gonna fucking carry her right there. Guy brought the virus in. But that's crazy. But it's gonna fuel it more if you're using terms like that. Without a doubt.

Okay, bro. Yeah, it's like, when I was a kid, right, my parents were like very like kind of racist and homophobic. Like that would say simple things like, if you'll gay, I kill you everybody. You'll gay friend everybody.

Whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you would look at me. Everybody gay. You gay, everybody. Everybody, everybody. Right.

And wait, was he worried about you being gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's like, and then you'd be like, what? And wait, was he worried about you being gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, and then you'd be like, what? All right, and I'd lay in bed. And in everyone's life, you have to self-analys and be a free thinker and you think and you go, is, is, because, you know, back then there's no internet.

So you're a kid and you have to think for yourself and you kinda go, I came to the conclusion like, it doesn't matter who gives a shit if you're gay or not. It's a dumb thing. You're put a group of people down. But like our parents generation, yeah, but there's, there don't used to be self-analysation and thinking things through, right?

And having some sort of empathy, right? It's like when I see, you know, you know, at the end of the day, I root for the underdog and I've always rooted for, know people that are less fortunate and are you know And I don't like like when imperialists and people of authority fucking Suppressed people and bring people down. I don't like it at all. Yeah, right? So it's like and but even as a kid I thought that no one taught me that right so why can't white people tell your other the other ones? Yeah, you have to learn how to empathize and you know and why do people feel the way they do?

It's like the BLM thing right yes, it's like it's not a I obviously all lives matter right obviously right but in in the moment right a Certain group of people are being killed by police officers for no reason. Mm-hmm. Right? You can't put, you know, but they don't. Well, and that's crazy. I know. I mean, there's a reason, like the reason you say

Black Lives Matter is because it sure seems like they don't. Exactly. That's why you say. Right. But then people swung it like, I know. It's like, why? It's not that we're going swung it like, I know, it's all, it's all, it's all heavy. It's not that we could do with that.

It's all charged up now where it's like, you're looking at it and you're going like, you don't, the worst one is when somebody doesn't like, acknowledge, like at the very least, are you gonna acknowledge that it's easier to be us than them, right? Like, is it easier? And then the, I don't see any difference, you're like, seriously?

You're not going to acknowledge even that. And they're like, some people, some people are racist, some people are willfully ignorant. Some people really don't, I think there's a percentage of people that really don't get it. They just don't, they're just, well, they're just fucking stupid, you know?

But I have to say that without those moments of like running into those types of white people, I don't think I would be where I'm at in my life. So that's helped. Yeah, I remember when I used to work construction. Stunt, stunts, constructions, and so this guy, what my job was, I used to take up my pickup truck and pick up supplies for this company. How were you?

I could have been 20, 1920. This was when your dad thought you were gay or no? No, he always, he still thinks again, heaven. He does. Yeah, yeah. So, what? It's just funny. That's it.

Picture him be like, everybody dead. Everybody dead. And so, there was two runners. It was me and this other guy. And this other guy called me and he goes, I feel sick. And you do what I mean. So I go, okay, so I would go to his, because we went to different places. Like I went and got like fixtures and like hammers and just different kinds of nails or whatever.

He was the lumber guy runner and I went to a lumber mill and the representative of the lumber mill comes out because he only he deals with the silver y kid and he looked at me and he goes, hey, where's the American runner? And I what I didn't say anything. I go, oh, she's sick. You know, like didn't defend myself, right? And once he said that, I got back in my car and I thought, oh, they think that I'm different.

Yeah. And it made me, and it, for me, it's like, it's a motivator, like some Asian school. I don't know. But to you, you're like like fucking and they go to a show Yeah, they mind their own business and they're I gotta get cook right you know me and I gotta Stray day, you know me I be a scientist your puns and burn I mix a came all together, right? Poof I make a million dollar or whatever. Yeah, but they stay in their show

I only hang out with other you know, they Asia, you know, they go play mahjong or whatever they do. But me, I'm like, no, I'm going to prove that I wrong. You know what I mean? I'm going to fuck his daughter. Okay. I mean, you know what I mean, which would infuriate him? Sure. No, not in a sexual predatory way. Just like, I'm gonna, like I'm gonna land. The best thing is when you're with a white girl. Yeah. And you know, especially because I had to get like

a little bit of money and fame to get, you know what I mean? Yeah. The quality, right? Right. And I've been with the white chicks, I've turned to me and said, I just, in my wildest dreams, I just never thought I would ever hook up with an Asian guy. Right? And had that feel.

Like I pissed in that one guy's face from the lumber mill. It felt good. Yeah. Like I won. Yeah. And I go, I spit in the koochi. Yeah. And I just walk away.

Jesus. Giggling into the just walk away. Jesus. Giggling into the night. It feels good. It feels real good. Yeah, feeling like sensing like what the construction guy did to you, I bet that never leaves you, you know, when the guy's like, those are American. Yeah, you see a lot of that growing up, you know,

especially in my time, like these other Asian kids coming up in the business, right? They don't know nothing. Yeah. I mean, what was it like for you auditioning? They don't know. For me, I went to an audition once and everyone in the lobby was in a ninja outfit. But not with their faces with the mask. Oh, right.

It's like just hire any of them. Right, what is it? It doesn't matter. And I just hire any of them. Right, why does it matter? Yeah, it doesn't matter. And I walked in like this, and they go, where's your ninja? I asked him, I do, it's like, there's no line. Right. Just put me in the thing.

Right, you like, right? Yeah, and they're like, bye. And those are the opportunities. Did you ever have the, did they ever, you ever audition and they're like, Oh no, no, no, can you say it like you know a little more Asian like a little Little soy sauce on it, you know, I mean Do it dude do it I audition for

King Kong Really yeah, if you watch King Kong There's one Chinese guy Chinese guy in it. He has no line He's just running from he's just running from the king. But people had audition for that. So I showed up in an audition and they had a King Kong poster or cut out of King Kong against a wall. And it was all the big, the Asian actors you know now,

as big stars, We were all there. And the audition was you have to run in a circle screaming, right? So I go in there and I see the King Kong, all right, scream, run. I'm in a circle, right? And the lady goes, can you, you don't seem Asian doing it? Right? Then I go, what? She's like, yeah, like, you don't seem Chinese doing it. So do it again.

So do what I went. going to. I'm not going to. Didn't get it. We know it's funny about that audition. When I left, you usually leave after an audition. I stayed there. And listened? No.

I watched, I'd like to see the Asian actors walking out of the room. Did you act it? Yeah. Did you flak it, you know? Chopstick it up for us, man. Yeah, and you were seeing guys, I'm not get it. You just, right? Did you like it, you know? I'm chopstick it up for us, man. Yeah, and you were seeing guys, I'm not kidding you, guys that are big stars now. Really? Yeah.

Additionally for that screaming in the circle. Yeah, and you're watching it and you're going, wow, this is where we're at. Yeah. And to see, you know, it changed, it's great, you know? But it's like, that's what I lived through. It's like a really notable shift, you know? I mean, right now we have this big social justice push

in America, but I'm saying there's been a notable shift from when you started to now just in those years. Like so notable, right? Cause like for a while they'd be like, I don't know, can you work at a liquor store or you're the scared guy running in a circle? And now we have like Asian leads and you know. It's great, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. I enjoyed that a lot. That was a good moment

Yeah, my head itches your hair is really long so over the last 20 years Every once in a while my agent will go Why don't you write a show, pitch it? And I'll go, all right, I'll try. So I remember one year I wrote a show about me, my grandfather raised me at this old school Korean grandfather, every run a hotel in space. So it's basically a way station where all these aliens

understand this Korean hotel Right, and it's like it was a weird idea. Yeah, I like it and I remember going into the you know networks Right, and I go it's a hotel in space and they go thank you And you would leave yeah, like no interest whatever. Yeah, and I would pitch nothing no word nothing nothing at all. And this year, I just, me and my friend Peter goes, let's just write a Korean show. Right, so we wrote one. And the first place we went to,

it's about a Korean, they go, we'll take it. She's like, what? You'll take it. And then we just pitched it to networks. We had all the network, most of the networks just go, we want it, we want it. And then we just pitched it to networks. We had all the network. Most of the networks just go, we want it. We want it. Do you have a bidding war?

Yeah, a couple. Yeah. And so it's like, for me, it's like, it's a total change. It's crazy. Are you going to do it? The show? Yeah. I mean, we're going to do the pilot and figure it out.

But, you know, it's like, you can totally tell. It's totally different. You know, it has to do, I don't know, it's just, and you know, do I feel bad for white people a little bit? Yeah, I want my white friends to work. I know. I want you to work, brother. I mean, like I'm happy for you, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a little bummed out that our, you know, rain is coming to an end. No, no, it's going to shift back. It's just, this is just a moment. You think so? Oh, yeah. Okay. It helps out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, T-next. I don't know even know what that is. Yeah. You're Latin, right? Uh-huh. You want me to call you that?

No thanks. You're welcome. Yeah. Yeah, I won't. No, it's dumb. It's kind of dumb. It's stupid. It gets to a point like, yeah, I'm not going to say the N word ever

again. Right. You know, I mean, I'm not going to say, you know, I've never said it. I mean, I've never said it. I'm not kidding. I've never said it. But I've never said it. No. I've never said it. I'm not kidding, I'm never said. But I've never said it. No.

I never. But, no, no. But, you know, there's certain things obviously like saying, I'll just say it one time, retarded. Right. It's terrible. What a terrible word. You know, that's the last time I said it. Right. Just now, yeah, yeah. And then the last time I said it. Right, just now.

And then you'll never say it again? No, no. That was the last time. So, market. Anyone listening? That was the last time I say that word. What was the last time you said it? Some of the words on you here. Because people here when I say it. Latinx, the thing that bothers me the most about that,

is it's totally an American thing. In other words, they don't say that in Latin American countries, you know. In Spanish speaking, they're not like, some of Latinx, they don't say that. They don't. No, it's an American. Right, right. You know, idea. Yeah.

Throw it into a language that would never write or say the word like that. Yeah. It's silly. It's silly. Yeah, it's silly. It's silly. Yeah, it's gonna swing one way, right? Yeah, there's always an over correction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The correction is gonna land in the middle

and that we'll meet there. But, you know, that's why this format, podcasting, is the last, our last stand. It's the best man, the best. And, you know, I've, people have tried to cancel me. They have? Some of the things I've said in the past. Really?

Yeah, and I have a message to everyone. Yeah. 99% of the things I say on podcasts is either an extreme exaggeration or a bold face lie. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it really is. It's because for you to talk because I

did one yesterday, I did one Tuesday and these are hours long. Yeah, no, we need to talk all day long. You can't just, you know, you have to fucking make shit up, baby. Right? So it's like, you know, absolutely. It's like when somebody goes, oh, you said that on stage. So I know it's true. Like, you know, or you have a joke, you're like, that's not how that works. We make shit up. Make shit up to make everything's based on a true. Or you have a joke, you're like, that's not how that works. That's not how that works. We make it up. Make it up to make it. Well, now everything's based on a truth, right? Well, there might be a kernel of truth.

Right, but you have to learn the thing. Yeah. Just because there's a kernel of truth, that doesn't mean the sentiment of the joke is true. Right. It's just that you observe something once, and you're like, yeah, that's true that I observed that, but I took it in a direction for the joke that is not my point of view it's just a joke.

Right, you have to do that. Yeah, and also like when you watch a movie and they say you know this is based on yeah because if they would do the movie the way it actually was nobody would watch it. Yeah, you have to throw in elements right to make it exciting. Oh they're like I mean I just watched a series that they said, it said, this has, this is based on a story and then they tell you, but we have created storylines, characters, dialogue and scenarios that didn't happen in order for you to, yes, like, but they really laid it out.

Like, there's all kinds of shit made up in this. Yeah, yeah. This just has some truth to it. Yeah. That's why I love the movie once it upon a time in Hollywood. Yeah, because it's like an alternate reality. That's the Tarantino on that. Do you see it?

Yeah, I did. I also feel like he's been doing just alternate, I didn't realize we're going to get an alternate reality with that one too. Like the Hitler remember the glorious bastards, and you're like, oh yeah, if we had killed the Nazis. You don't like that? Well, I mean, I was like, okay, cool, I thought that was cool.

And then Django and Chained is like, That's what happened. Yeah, that's happened. The slave revolt, but it's like, Yeah. This fantasy revenge. And then with this one, I actually thought we were gonna see a biopic on the Manson murders.

And I didn't know, cause I didn't research. I just knew that it had that topic. So I watched the movie and I was like, oh, we're doing another spin on. Yeah, a lot of people didn't like the movie. Some people do that. I thought it was a really entertaining movie. I just didn't understand why it was. I thought it was a really entertaining movie. I just didn't understand why it was.

I thought it was a masterpiece. Why we did the alternate ending. Yeah, like the ending that didn't happen. Yeah, it was an homage to Hollywood back in the day, in the 60s and 70s. And I love the alternate reality because it was such a shock and surprised to me. I thought, you know what I mean,

that they were gonna all die. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I thought, you know, I mean, that they were gonna all die. Yeah, that's what I thought, but for them, you know, I mean, to do that to the Manson family, was I laughed so hard. And it's satisfying, right? It's so satisfying. And this is what we all wish would have happened, right, because they're a fucking bastards.

Yeah, just like the Nazis that died in the fire. Is that one of my favorite serial killers, by the way? Who Manson? Not one of your favorites. No by the way? Who man said? Not one of your favorites. No dude, it's like, Dahmer better in terms of creativity.

Yeah. Right. Ed Geen. Right. He made lampshades of the skin. Yeah, had heads on a post. Right. What's the artist, the clown?

What's his name? John Wayne Gacy. Love it. Love it. I hate the behavior and it's his name? John Wayne Gacy. Love it. Love it. Love it. I hate the behavior in its evil, right? But in terms of serial killers, right? Yeah. Top. Top level. Top level. Yeah. Yeah, right? Killed a lot of people. I hate it. It's disgusting. Young boys. But in terms of if I was like, you know, a dark fella inside you, I mean, that allows it, you know, that I would like he would they would be one of my favorites the clown thing is very perverse yeah

Clever stop Christ it is perverse and you know BTK you know BTK baby he had the He was an alarmed an 80t. Oh like technician. I know so he's setting up alarm system that's two careers Yeah, two careers. Yeah, I did yeah, yeah, I'll back to our gacy though, right? Yeah, how dumb is the mom? The mom yeah, because no Casey lived with his mom. He did yeah, I thought she went gacy had a what lived in the house, right? Wait his mother lived in his house Dude check it out dude He buried forty dudes in the house, and the mom's still living there like, you know,

what is that? You know, rats? You know, what happened? What do you mean, you took a doctor? Well, let's see. No, he's such, that would be it right there, yeah. You could have said, what a good, great headshot see three. I would've got a great headshot. I would've done the same photography for my headshot.

Jesus Christ. Um, uh, all those murders were committed inside his house. Typically he would lower the blood of the handcuffs. I'm just trying to see 33 people fucking A. It's terrible. So he did have a spouse, see two spouses, see?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't argue against that. I know, I'm just trying to say, so his mother also lived there? He could get chicks, man, that's not the argument. Okay, his mother was a homemaker, okay. But let's talk about, maybe have it wrong. No, I'm just trying to gather whether you have it right.

No, I didn't, I haven't been studying. Yeah, most host school would just let it go and just move on to the next thing. All right, you know what I mean? Like, your fact-tracking, man, is to make me sweating. I'm just curious right and you're like no You're wrong Bobby and then it's like oh, I'm so curious I know but like we were already saying that we lie and we exaggerate that didn't seem like the type of thing We just let it go, you know, okay, so let's go back to you did that with the Chinese guy in Canada too

What did I do you try to fact-check me and it wasn't very interesting. I was in fact, yeah, you were. Let's see if the, if Bobby has us right and you're reading the facts of it and I'm like sweating. You could have just let it go, man. What are you investigative journalists? I'm sorry. This is the fun to comment. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You're welcome. I'll, I'll, I'll take it easy. It's fucking crazy. Okay. It didn't mean to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fact check me. Okay. Let's go back to a Korean perfectionism

Okay, so when I asked you why these pop groups are so so popular in Korea Yeah, it's better coming out of Korea and you said this is not a popular thing to say but I think I prefer So we went to a right and we were gonna just just Just drill the Japanese for a minute. We do a great story from your father putting you in the car. But can I just go back to the perfection part? Yeah, yeah, so it's like notice when a group of people, this is the theory, you don't have to Google it. Don't Google it, okay?

But when a people, I feel like a group of people that have been oppressed, what comes out of it is they become stronger like anything else in life, right? You know, right? It becomes stronger if you don't kill it, right? And I think the body does that too. Yeah, right? Resilient. Really become resilient.

And but what also comes with it is humor. Because you know, like the Jews, they were also oppressed. Yes. I hear. And um, and Yes, I hear and The Koreans and it like I've always equated to comedy in LA right yeah the initial comics You know and now you have a variety of different comics But in the beginning of this new generation of I mean the generation of Asian comics you had Johnny Yoon was you know Korean market show. I mean me there was a bunch of Koreans doing I think a generation of Asian comics, you had Johnny Yoon, who was Korean, Marker Chow.

I mean, me, there was a bunch of Koreans doing, I think a lot of Koreans are in comedy because we're a people from an oppressed group. That makes sense. Yeah. And so that's number one. So I think that the reason when we have so many pop groups and stuff like that is

because maybe it has something to do with that we were oppressed and we're going to prove to the world that were like great. Okay. Yeah. We do that with films as well by the way. By the way, the Korean filmmaking is out of control. Which is doing.

Well, I just watched the gangster, the cop, and the devil. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Really good. Yeah. Do you see I saw the devil? I saw the devil. I don't know if I saw the devil. It says,, and the devil. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Really good one. Yeah. Do you see I saw the devil? I saw the devil. I don't know if I saw the devil.

It says, I saw the devil. Type in, I saw the devil. Let's see. Is this recent? Oh, no, it's like one of the, um, do you have see Old Boy? Yeah. So it's Mixic Choi, the same guy that was an Old Boy,

is in this, but he plays a serial killer. Oh wow It's good. It's a masterpiece. Oh, I'll see. I'll watch is it a masterpiece You see it on iTunes or can you rent it or is it yeah money? Okay, yeah, you have money I only do you honestly it's like that's is that the Hispanic in you? I was asking like which place You you can figure you look at I come in here no listen dude I come in here you got 15 people kids in here whatever you want Master Tom Sogoda or whatever they do we suck your dick we suck your dick yeah yeah yeah yeah you can just go hey get me the movie hey guys yeah get me that movie okay yep you got it

that's it that's what I'm saying yeah don't be like oh um you know I'm struggling a little bit I'm doing the pandemic. Um, so where can I fucking can I watch it on YouTube? Fuck you. All right. Okay That felt good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's true though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I saw the devil's a good one Okay, give me another yeah, write these down So anyone listening right now, um, you should watch obviously the greatest movie. I think the Koreans have ever made is Old Boy. Old Boy, yeah. Yeah, and then, you know, I saw a horror movie just recently

called Metamorphoses that was kind of fun. Mm-hmm. I saw the harvest, that one, that was really good. I just saw another one of the burnt orange heresy, that was way better than I thought it would be. Never saw that. That was good. Yes, and one of those movies where,

when you see the poster, you're like, I don't wanna see that, like the poster's not, like it's just a, that's not Korean. Like, no, that's not, I know, we're talking about different movies. Oh, so this movie here. I thought we were talking about, we were, but then we were talking about great movies, right? Or did you list only Korean movies?

Well, we were on the Korean, but we got away from it. No, no, no list only Korean movies? We were on the Korean, yeah. We got away from it. No, no, no. We were on a Korean one and you're like, Burnt Orange Har Yeah, well then they were like, okay, now, and then now, let's talk about other movies, see that. Okay.

No, you say it. You're the host. Let's talk about other movies. Okay, Burnt Orange Haracy. Okay, yeah. What is it? There's no Koreans in it. Okay, not going there. Beren Orange, Heresy. Okay, yeah. What is it? There's no Koreans in it, but we're really good. What is it?

Okay, so I really, it's, the best part of this movie is that I feel like most movies suck because they just follow Blueprints. Like they just, you know what, if you give a script that you write to a producer or whatever, they'll go, oh yeah, but now we need this to happen and this to happen because that's how a story is told. Like, they'll just follow, and then if you watch a trailer, you can be like, oh, that's, and it's like 30 other movies you've seen.

That's clichés is what you're saying. They're clichés, but they're also just following a format. A format, and the story is like, this is where he'll have conflict, and then here's the resolution, and it should go ABC like this. What I liked about the burnt orange heresy

was that it didn't follow the, like the, of course there's conflict and ending, but it's so unexpected. It's like why movies that really stand out that are like, when you see parasite the first time, if you know nothing about like when you see Parasite the first time, if you know nothing about it and you see what, you're constantly being like holy shit. Because you've never seen a story like that.

The concept, the execution, like the thing that we're all looking for, I think in cinema and when you watch it is surprise. You wanna be surprised. Like the reason everyone's got kicked in the fucking balls when you saw a get out wasn't just the social commentary was a big part of it. But you're like, this is such a crazy concept. It's a get out.

Yeah, yeah. So there's such a lack of like original stories. It's the idea is like, when I watch a movie and I think to myself, I can't believe they got funding for this. Yeah, it's a good thing. The exactly. I can't believe they made this.

How did you get this made? Yeah, I love that as well. Yeah. Tom. So Metamorphosis is a horror one though, you said? Yeah, it's cliche. Oh, it is. Okay.

Well, let's let it go. All right. Well, now let's look it up. So, yeah, yeah, okay. Let's look it up. Yeah. Are you constantly watching Korean movies? What?

I'm asking. Dude, look at me right now, bro. Yeah. It was, this is what it's like. That's not like, hey man, where's the American one? That's what that's not like. Hey man, where's the American one? That's not exactly what it is.

No, it wasn't. Bro, let me say something, okay? Yeah. That's the movie. Yeah, it's called Metamorphosis. And it's a, if you like, extraceous, it's kind of like that. Do you have any other Korean, like, must-see movies?

Because I really do love the movies that I'm seeing from Korea. Because I want to put that on my list. I mean, I mean, I think all the ones that I've said, like in terms of monster movies, the host is great. The host? Yeah. It's a monster movie? Yeah.

Okay. I think another, you never heard of the host? It's a great monster movie. Okay. I think the same guy that did Parasite. What about, is there any other, and then there's one called, um, train to Pusan? You see that? Put both of these on list.

You never saw train to Pusan? No. I want to see the host. You never saw train to Pusan. And I never saw train to Pusan. What about Bulgogi? No, no, forget, no. There's no such thing as Bulgogi. Yeah, it's what you mean. It's Korean.

It's just, I know. It's Korean. I know. I'm trying to keep it in the fucking family. I know, but there's no movie called that. Okay. Dude, train to Busan is one of the best zombie movies ever made. Right?

It got like 98% aron tomatoes. It's a masterpiece. You have to watch this tonight. I'll watch it tonight. Can you give it to me? Can you give me your copy of this in the car? I know you have a copy on you. Anyway, I'm gonna let it go.

I'm not gonna get it. But they made a sequel that's coming out in about three or four months. I am struggling right now. So please just, you're not happy. You're not, I know what you're worth. Okay, so. Exactly, let's move on.

You wanna move on from that? Okay. All right, because I've been to your house. You wanna move on from that? All right, don't play that. Okay, okay. And you know what, I wanna own up to my shit. You know, when people go, you know, you know what dude You know I struggled for a very long time. Yeah, and I'm almost I

Say happy but happy birthday Good birthday's coming up. Oh actually by the time it comes out you just had a birthday your birthday was four days ago Yep happy for you. Thank you birthday. Thank you. So I'm 49 wow and I struggled for a very long time in my career. I went in and out. But you know, let's own up to, you know, the podcasting and things are fruitful. And it's been good for us.

Yeah. You know, I'm very fortunate. I'm humble and, you know, and I'm grateful for everything that I have. But let's do that. Let's not go. Hey, I can't afford this movie. Can you help me?

All right. All right. I, uh, it's foolish. I know. I feel very fortunate. And I feel very grateful and thankful to be in the position I'm in. But I feel like if you have an extra copy in your car, you should hook it up. Yeah. If you have like one of those CD zip folders, you know, that has DVDs in it of all your favorite Korean films, you could just lend it to me for a fucking week. Or I'll count to it. All right.

all your favorite Korean films, you could just lend it to me for a fucking week. I'll count to it. Alright. God, you're so dumb. I don't know. There's parts of me that regret this. Yeah, yeah, I know. I want to ask you this question. Go ahead.

Do you think I'm, you know, because I go on the internet and they go, I don't listen to Tiger Belly or bad friends because Bobbie Lee is a bully. People say that about you? I didn't know that. Yeah, but do you think I'm a bully? No, I do not. I do not think you're a bully. Like how the fuck am I a bully?

But like also, there's so much noise on the internet that you can find, you can literally find, just hear me out of this, of the podcasters, of the Circle of Comedy podcasters, you could probably find a comment saying that every single person is everything, a bully, whatever, a lazy person, and ask what, you could probably find that about everyone.

So you can't just be, is there a big movement about you being a bully? Like people are saying it a lot? Yeah, I've read it before. Like I've read it maybe 20 times from different variety of sources people go. Who are you accused of bullying?

People think I bully guests, they think I bully Andrew Santino, they think I bully. What? Yeah, they do. They think that I, like the people that work for me because I don't think that people like the fact that I'm the boss. People like that you're the boss.

Yeah. Tiger belly? Yeah, because you know, I'm fine. Okay. Fuck. No, because, you know, when I'm there, I know that, you know, when you're doing a podcast, like if you're doing a podcast, you know that I'm essential to this podcast. Right.

I'm not expendable. Right. So, you can flex some sort of, like, way. Right? But I do everything in a joking matter. Mm-hmm. Right? So I say, call people names and this and that, but people have to realize that, you know, that, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and my dad used to beat the shit out of me, all that stuff. I was very traumatic. It was very traumatic experience. So, you know, everything, you know, the way I behave is a defense mechanism, right? And it's all because of the way I was raised. So, you know, it comes, you know,

when I was struggling comic and I was coming up, I kept quiet and I let people bully me around and tell me what to do. Because, you know, I opened men's sia and polyshore and back then you know they were hard You know me like did you know pick up my dirty you pick that up did you know I mean and like Carlos a bro, you know you got a fucking you know not doing it right and people like What would you tell you you're doing wrong? You should put me in a closet What yeah, he's locked the club. No, we know we go in the road and I used to sleep in Albert's closet

Come on. Yeah his brother. Yeah, like he didn't get me a hotel room once he put me in a closet So I have you know hotel closet slept in there you guys realize how good you have it with me You guys realize how good you have it with me? I know. Yeah, you know, we're like, I think that carries golf clubs. Do the airport, you know, and stuff like that. That's like hazing shit, though. I mean, I feel like that's actually what I do. I do, it's like, you know, you can say what you want about anybody.

And I still say to the day that without Carlos Minceo and Pauli Shore, I would not be where I am today. I understand. They fucking helped me out so much and I'm so grateful for their help. Yeah. I really am. And I tell them that all the time when I see them, I am grateful. Whether you how you feel about them or not, you know, they, there are things that they did for me that are priceless. Yeah. I don't believe that. Like, for instance, you know, the agent that I have now is through Mencia, back in 95

and I know. You stand up agent or you're everything, every agent. Yeah. What's their name? His name is Matt Blake. I know, Matt. CA. I know,. C-A. I know Matt.

He was my first agent. Yeah, so he, you know, in 95, Mencia, you know, introduced me to that. Matt Blake was my agent at Gersh. Yeah, I was at Gersh. Yeah. We were at Gersh together probably. Yeah, and then he left.

He left, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even get a call. Did you really? They're just like, you're agent left. He took me, yeah, yeah. He took me, Gabriel, David Tal. No, he wishes he took me, believe me. Oh, now he does, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now he does, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. We still, we're still buddies though. Okay, he's a good dude. He's a good dude. But, so, you know, I have to say that out loud because I know it's not funny, but, you know, Paulie, I love him and I love Carlos. I want to say that that though that out there.

That's good. I'm going to tell them, yeah. I want to know if you would tell me more bedtime stories from your dad because that was really great. Well, you know, my dad used to make up wives' tales. Mm-hmm. You know what wives' tales are? I mean, I've heard the expression before.

Yeah, so what is the wives' tale, you know, like what why people say to their kids when they look at the TV too close? Mm. Like you're gonna go blind if you. Right, right. So my dad would go, if you watch TV that close, good hump hog gonna die.

Yeah. I sort of got to go do that, right? And I'd be like, yeah, but he's that already. He goes, you need it. You kill him. You know what I mean? Like he would make shit out like that. Holy shit. Yeah, but he's that already he goes you did it You kill him, you know, man like it would make shit out like that Holy shit. Yeah, you're good shit and like you know, they should have you know when immigrants come to this country Yeah, they should have like a book, you know to you know, this is

How you sing the Christmas songs? Right because he didn't grow up with them. Right. Right. So when then, you know, you have American kids. Did he grow up rough in all my dad was a street kid. Oh, wow. He was a gang kid. He was a boxer. He bucked amateur. He used to fight in the streets. He was like, Kimbo. So when he fuck you up, he fuck you up. Oh, yeah, he was like the Kimbo slice of Korea. Really? Yeah, yeah, like he would you know and And I've talked to like friends of his that grew up you know, you're dad was fucking asshole He'd be everybody I win me even can fuck you know, man

Dude my dad dude I saw my dad. You know what my dad got my cousin. What dude? Bro? How did you set it up? How was your cousin? I'm gonna have to kind of get some space here. Okay. Dude, so what I was, I used to have my aunt with a knife, but anyway, that's later. Wait, we can't let that one go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, all right, I'll go to the aunt. Okay. So we, you know, we had these, every Sunday we would go to round as a kid. My parents would play tennis, and then we would go to round, as a kid, my parents would play tennis, and then we would go to round table pizza. Okay. And it was on a Sunday, right?

And round table pizza had a little arcade, so we would love to go because my parents, my dad, my uncle would give me quarters and we'd play video games. But one time we were at round table pizza and my aunt was there, and you know, they would get drunk. And my aunt just goes I don't know why she said that but she goes she looks at my mom she goes I don't know why you're

in Korean I don't know why you're married her she ugly your answer to that to my mom about my mom in front of my dad and my dad goes and it stabbed her in the neck with the knife. At round table? Yeah, it was a butter knife, so it kind of knickered. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. You know what, eh, look, look what I mean. How'd that play out? Screaming, people screaming, yeah.

And he was like, shut the fuck up. That was a whole, that was my dad in a nutshell. Okay, tell me this though. But he would always laugh when he would go do some, so when he laughed like that, violence was happening. Really? Yeah, yeah. So, so by, oh, my cousin took this crazy everyone. Okay, wait, I want to say, I want to hear the cousin one.

Okay. Okay. Don't let that go. But let's park at Round Table Pizza for a moment. Okay. Yeah. Your aunt makes this joke. Your father grabs like a butter knife, jabs are in the neck. Chaos and soos.

Yeah, yeah. And then like, do you remember getting in the car and leaving? Do you remember, you know, like- I don't think my dad went, I think my mom, I was in the car. How did your mother react to it? I think my dad was like,

because my dad, you know, stayed behind to do apologies and stuff. So I think I recall just being in the car, right? I'm going, bye. You know, I'm in driving away. What would your mother say about the incident? She would just be, she wouldn't say anything. She would just be angry.

That he did it. Because my mom, her dirty, her not real. Okay. Because my dad punched real. Okay. Because my dad punched her. Okay. So she, you know, she was up there. So she was in it.

She was like, this dude does shit like this, basically. Yeah. Okay. So my cousin, after my cousin. Okay. So we had a cousin named Dong-hyung. Dong-hyung? Yeah. And you know what that is? Did I, we had a cousin named Dong-hyung. Dong-hyung? Yeah.

Did I say right? Yeah, Dong-hyung. Dong-hyung? Yeah. You know what that translates to? No. Shit brother. Shit brother?

Yeah, yeah. I never even knew his real name. He was just like Dong-hyung. He was a moby guy. Okay. And this is your, is it your father's siblings child or your mother's siblings child? My father's sibling child. your mother's siblings child? My father is sibling child. Okay.

A boy or girl? Yeah, there's no woman by Dong-young. Shit brother. Oh shit brother, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, all right, sorry, man. Oh, it's fucking an eight year old girl. What the fuck? Uh-uh.

Sorry. So Dong-young was in high school. And we had moved to Minnesota, all right? And then we moved back to San Diego. So my dad hadn't seen Dong-Hong since he was a kid. So we walked into my uncle's house and Dong-Hong was in high school, you know how high schools are. And my dad hadn't seen him so we walked into this lobby

of this house and Dong-Hong was walking up the stairs. And my dad goes, was happy to see him. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And Dong-Hong goes, what's that? Because he had rebellious, you know what I mean? And just walked into his room.

My dad thought that was a disc. Like a major disc. Yeah. So my dad goes, eh! Come down here, you know what I mean? And Donghyong looks out his room. Come down here! Donghyong comes down.

My dad goes, ha ha ha! You know what I mean? That's a dangerous. Whoo! Grab this head. Moe-try kicks. 15 times. My dad goes ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Are you serious? That's what it is. Is that happened to me? So I'm going, he's neighing them in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Moitai. Moitai kids. Dude, that was like what it was grew up with.

Okay, hold on. So as with the other story, I'm most interested now in the aftermath of that. Like somebody does that in the home. How does everybody read? I remember my mom was being fan, right? Being fan by a, what did the pool chair, you know, swing pool chair?

Yeah. What do you call him? Yeah, like a lounge chair. And I remember aunts crying, fanning my, you know, me. Cause she's like my husband. Yeah, my dad is with my uncles in a room and they're just arguing. And he's like, why'd you beat the fight on my son?

And then Dong-hyeong is... Covered in blood. I don't know, just out. Yeah, yeah. And then, then, they're probably going, what do we do? Colleux ambulance, you know what I mean? That kind of thing.

Holy shit. He healed up, but, oh. He's fine. So your dad's temper was fucking serious. Oh, bro, dude. My brother. my poor brother, my poor brother one time, my brother had a friend, a black friend, kid, Anthony. And my brother's like, I got this cast you'll keep on Anthony.

He's like, yeah, man, yeah, spend the night. So Anthony spends the night and playing this cat. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, all your the door open. My dad completely naked. All your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses are all your asses Slams it on my brother's fucking back. Keys are flying all over the place. But here's a thing, what we discovered. He turns around. There's toilet paper sticking out of his asshole.

Jesus. Right? Right? And that's when we knew about his anal leakage. He had serious anal leakage. And I have it now, too. What cause is it genetic? Yeah, I think so But I don't do the toilet paper. What do you do? It's let us let it go?

Just shit oozes out. Yeah, I have like she hates cleaning clela hates cleaning my underwear. Oh my god Yeah, because there's so you do stains and stuff a lot of bad stains. Do you ever put like a tampon or a pad in there or something? No, I don't like it feels uncomfortable when I'm walking around. I know it's there. I think you should put a pad in it. No, I don't I don't think so. I think you should. I think that I should do what my heart says and my heart says I want to be free. And it's not like the mask and have like shitty stain underwear. Yeah, but it's like you're gonna get a stained fucking tampon when you're down there. Yeah, but it's like, you're gonna get a stained fucking tampon when you're down there. Yeah, but this way you're. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I almost didn't make it today. Let's just say that. Really? Yeah. I'm still like, if you see my underwear right now,

if you see my underwear right now, you would be like, I can't believe you showed up to this. Is that brown, bad? I mean, when I came in there, I go, I need to use your bathroom immediately. Do you have one please? And so that that'll give you. You made a big brown in there

I wouldn't say big is Not the right word I would use what would you use messy? Yeah, do you have a bad stomach? Well, I've been trying to eat better because in this pandemic I gained like 15 pounds you did? Yeah, and so this last week because you know what I did was you know Because Kaleila won't let me go to the grocery store or why? Because she doesn't trust me so we get everything delivered. Oh right right So you know, I I get I got a gold belly no gold belly is mm-hmm It's an app and you can get foods from all over the country and they delivered to your house

I've heard about this. Yeah, so I get like Deep tips pieces from Chicago or I'll get like pot pies from North Carolina. Fuck! Yeah, so I get like things delivered to my house. But you've been eating like, you've been eating good. Well good stuff, you know? I get like pork, you know, loins from Indiana,

like pork under one sandwiches and it's great. How much does that cost? Pretty expensive, but you know what? It's like my, because since I can't go to a restaurant and stuff, it's just like my little thing. And then, you can get your, that own app. Can you send me a sample? You have more money than I do.

No, just send me a sample. And I'll just say that out, now, out, right now. When Tom is saying, can you get me this stuff? I'll just let you know it's coming from a guy that has more finances. You know, it's so it makes you look shitty. Can you just send me a sample? I won't because you can do it. Can you send me?

Maybe I'll do it. Like, maybe I'll do a nice return gift, you know, after you give me my first gift. It's wicked what you're doing. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. You like it. I love you. I will. You know, dude, I mean, you know, I'm telling you, I told Kristi this that, you know, what you did for me, and I keep bringing it up every time we took with each other, but I have to reiterate it. Yeah, you don't have to do that. You want me to?

No. You don't have to do that. Is that what that is? No, no, I'm saying I you said it before I think I think I just think that I honestly like I can't because I had no idea who you were. Yeah Before that really I didn't know who birth was or any of you. Yeah, no, it's weird. Sometimes you don't like sometimes Like Tim Dylan. I had no I did just discovered him six months ago. Well, I mean, I don't know anybody Yeah, I mean you have to know these people. Yeah, all of a sudden, you have to know these people.

Yeah, it's a period of discovery for people coming up and then you gotta go, oh, you Google it and you go, oh, they're doing good. Yeah, you know, but I knew Michael Rappaport was because of the movies. Sure. But like, there's some people that you don't know, but you know, you meet, like, it's so funny

because when I had never knew who Andrew Schultz was. Yeah. At all. Never even heard of him. But then I was hosting Montreal, the Dirty Show. You know, so, and, and, um, Jamie Carr and Andrew Schultz. But Andrew Schultz was there leaning against this metal pole in the backstage because he and a mand Andrew, and I didn't know who he was. But then as soon as I sound perform, I go, holy fuck, this guy is legit. He's killing it. He's killing it with the,

he's a legit, bro. With his monologue, you know what he does? Like those commentaries and absolutely kills it, man. And then how I met Chris Dastofano was, did Obey n'Anthane once and Chris was just this good looking White guy sitting next to me at nobody was and then we had all minutes afterwards. Yeah, and then I Somed to perform and I went oh He's legit dude and I ironically enough today's 9 11 his story is one of my fuck. Have you ever seen that? I'll Google it.

When you leave here, look it up. He tells from, I think it's a seller set what happened to him on 9-11. It is such a great story. Yeah. For me, it's like, you know, once I see, you know, what you can do, I'm in. Yeah. I don't get threatened. I don't see, when I see dudes that are really funny, like, I'll be honest with you, dude. You guys are way better stand-ups than I am.

Yeah. I'm not that prolific, you know. I'd like to write more, but I do the same jokes over and over again. When I watch you and even your wife and other guys like Andrew or Santino or Shultz or just a final and Tim Dylan any of you guys I literally go wow they're better standards I mean and I don't get threatened by it. See my thing is is I believe that if I just hang out with the best in the business Yeah, and also nice guys I know guys that are really good but there are assholes and you can hang out with them But I hang out with guys that are like,

I have good hearts, but are the best. I don't get threatened. I don't give a fuck. I think I'm, I want to get better. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I think it's a really healthy disposition. Yeah. I think it's, I think it shows like your security in your cell. You know what I mean? Like your, your, your, you, you,

not feeling threatened to me is just like that. That's an evolved mature as you are. That's a mature evolved point of view. Like you're a child and you're like a fucking toddler with bigger clothes, but the fact that you don't feel threatened by other people I think is a huge endorsement to you and your character. Even though most people would be like, yeah, be fucking kidding me with this, you know, moron. Oh shit, I think you're very funny though. I really like you. You didn't like that at all.

Not even a little bit. I honestly pissed me off. What? I'm making a fucking piss. Which part? Which part? Because you're making it into a joke. I'm not making it into a joke. Yeah, you are. You're trying to give me a compliment.

I was. I was. It wasn't backhanded. And it's something that you maybe probably believe no, yeah, and it's a Puts it be direct. I am being direct. No, you're not you're playing fucking white You write by the way. I'm white. Yeah, right now you are You're acting like it. What did I do acting like it? What did I do? I'm saying you're so basically You're trying to give me a compliment saying oh dude like you know, you're in a healthy spot You're not threatened, you know, that's grown up thing right? Yeah, but then you're throwing in're, you're, so basically, you're, you're trying to give me a compliment and saying, oh, dude, like, you know, you're in a healthy spot You're not threatened, you know, that's growing up thing, right? Yeah, then you're throwing in like, but you know, you know

Normally, you're a child and and dumb and nobody thinks that you're like an adult That's what everybody thinks So you really, so okay, all right, all right, because I thought we're at the tail end of it. We are not we're not we're not we're absolutely not now Okay, we're absolutely not now. Okay, I'm like, oh, we're going into the end of it. We are. We're not. We're not. We're absolutely not now. Okay. We're absolutely not now. Okay, I'm telling you.

I'm like, oh, we're going into the good place. This is the good place. No, it's not. It's fucking bullshit. So what you're saying, you know, it's so funny, Tom, it's your rhetoric. And when you throw things out there like that, you know, it sticks because you have a big audience, you have big influence. Yeah.

And it sticks with people, right? And then all of a sudden, they have a skewed vision of me, and they think that I'm irresponsible and child- Like child-like. Because I have a doughy baby-like body, or whatever it is, because I'm Asian. Is that how you treat others? You fuck.

Right? First of all, believe it or not, dude. Right? Yeah, I play a lot of video games. Okay. What time do you do? What time do you normally go to bed? Like three or four in the morning. What time do you usually wake up? lot of video games. Okay. What's I do? I do. What's how you normally go to bed?

Like three or four in the morning. What's how you usually wake up? Two or three p.m. Right. Do we need to say you're? Yeah, you're a lot of hot dogs. Okay. Yeah.

But I was giving you a huge compliment. I'm serious. The best comedians that I've ever been around are ones with your perspective. I think it's the healthiest, but it's also the best comedians are the ones who don't feel threatened to buy strong openers. I mean, I'm saying, like this is the healthiest perspective one can have, is the one that you have about feeling like

when you're around other good comedians, it's good for you. I feel the same way, man. I feel the same way. I wanna be around great comics. And I was trying to give you a compliment I was just trying to take a you know a little playful jab at the fact that you utter their child the other I'm gonna see the most truthful thing that I've ever seen in my life

I don't know what I'm doing in anything I literally wake up and I go here we go. Let's try, you know, but I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm saying right now. I don't know why I'm at the place that I'm at, but it is my reality. But at the end of the day, like, honestly, I just wake up and I go, let's just do the best you can. With the time I've allowed it, you know, so, you you know if you think that that's child life. Oh boy And if you know honestly if you think that child like and I need to like you know Grow up. Yeah, or to read a book or whatever. Yeah, or to learn stuff, you know, so be it

But my message to people like you. Yeah. Yeah, you know me the oppressors of the world. Um, okay. We really are The oppressors of the world. Um, okay, really are. The oppressors of the world. Uh-huh. Um, one day I'll have my day. Okay. And one day I will have my victory dance. And you people like you are the ones that are going to be suffering. Okay.

You're literally literally verbatim. And now it's at 120. I know. And that's the last thing I want to say. Well, that's what the guy on the bus said before he ate that kind that poor That's it the China the guy from the bus the Chinese man on the bus We said exactly that we're done 120 Could you could you at least do a little could you do a little wrap up here with me?

120 Are you just taking off? I'm gonna leave, yeah. Thanks for coming by. Do you want me to do a wrap? I may be nice. Thanks for the opportunity. You want me to do extra. I'll do extra.

Can we do a little, you know? Okay, thank you for having me. I mean, come on. I thought we were doing a little... See what you did though? Yeah. I mean, come on. I thought we were going to go on. That we were going to go on. You did though. Yeah, and I do it back. I know.

And that's the magic podcast. It's fun, right? It's fun. You attack me, right? I reverse it. You reverse it on me. I reverse it on you. I was hurt by you calling me an oppressor.

Yeah, I was hurt that you call me, I'm a child. I don't think that that hurt you because you did hurt me. I think you know you are. I think I know you know that you have power and you're an oppressor and you like doing it. Look at all the people. I have two people working for me. You have 15 people working for me.

What do you think that is? Oppression. Why is that oppression? It's employing you. You just like telling people what to do. That's fine. That's fine. It's fine.

Ask these people. You're a good guy. I already told you the story about what we did when we did it. I know. I know, but do you really not think of yourself as kind of a manchild? Yeah, I do. Okay, I love it. Okay.

I enjoy it. And you enter, you can do it. There's some oppression that you do. It's the best feeling. I love to hold it. I love it. I'm kidding. We're kidding.

Now this is actually our first day on this new set. Do you like it? Do you like the table? I love the table, I love the chair. I honestly like it's so funny because there's probably four people in my life that I would do a podcast with. You're one of them. Really? No, I'm too busy, but if, no, but in a world, you know what I mean, I think that you and I would have worked well together. We could have. Yeah, I think something happened one day. One day. Oh, yeah, yeah

No, because then something would happen to happen to him Because I don't want you to get it. Yeah, something can happen I want to say that I could have done one there's only You I could do one with I could do one with Theo Mm-hmm and the red I'm doing it one on one Yeah, I mean, but those are the only ones in life. Are you having fun doing bad friends with Santino? Is anything fun with him? I know, I know. Ask yourself that.

Is anything fun with that guy? Yeah. Do you think like, if somebody said, he's a sweet heart, okay. But you think he's a bad guy though. I think that he needs reminders, you know, and that's why I think I'm in his life to remind him. Like, check yourself.

You have rage. Yeah. Check it. Where's his rage stem from? Because he's red. Yeah. You know, red heads, they have that deep rage. Yeah, they do.

You can't even manufacture that. Yeah. And I don't like touching them. Yep. I remember when my first kid was born, it came out with red hair. And like, it wasn't like full, but it was like, you saw hints of it.

And I remember the doctor turned to me and she goes, oh my god, and I go, oh, I don't want them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah. Is that red hair? And she's like, don't want him. She was like, yeah, yeah. What? Is that red hair? And she's like, just a little bit. And I was like, cut it off. She was, you don't get a hair cut.

To a newborn. I don't want it like that. Oh, really? Yeah. So we did a haircut right there. That's really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, I'm not taking that.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do that with Andy. Andy. Oh, he loves it when you call him Andy, by the way, Andy Santino. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now everybody knows. Yeah, everyone knows. Yeah, call him Andy. He loves it. Yeah. And do something about that rage. Yeah. You're seeing them fight or hit somebody or something?

Oh, he's been, he's thrown things at me. He has screamed at me. Yeah. And to you, that feels, but I think I deserved it. Oh, you do. Yeah. What were you doing? Give me one of your fight stories. I antagonize them. What do you do? What called a man? Yeah. Just that. He'll throw something at you. Oh, there's so a couple of things I can't say on the podcast. This podcast. Yeah. I, there's a couple of things. I'll tell you off screen. Okay. But I know a couple of things. If I say it, he will literally stab me. For sharing it? No, if I say it right in his face. If I, there's a couple of things I could stare at right in his face

and say it right into something. And he will fucking snap. Let me just see if the, give me the glasses real quick. Yeah, I just want to see let the audience vote on whether I should get someone like this. I think you looked up. I mean, these feel right. Yeah, you just want to see let the audience vote on whether I should get some like this. I think you looked up. I mean, these feel right. Yeah, you looked up.

You got these in Maui. Yeah, but you can get anywhere. I know that expensive. They're not. No, to you. No, I mean, that's a big flex right there. Guys got Gucci shitties like. Okay, it's 125 now.

You know, like I got to get the fuck out of here. It's not that. It's not that is just that you know when you I'm a man of my word Okay, and if you're a man of your word you said 120 you ready rap. Yeah, so thank you for having me Okay, okay, I really appreciate it. Can I can we do it again sometime? Oh anytime and anytime like once a month One every other month and if you ever want to invite me on your podcast no pressure. Nope No pressure. Nope. No pressure. Nope. No pressure. We've done it. Can I glass this?

Is this a gift? Can I glass this? Gift? No. Appreciate the gift. Give me. Give me. Oh wait, send me a meal.

Send me a meal. OK. And I give you your glasses. OK, son. Give me a glass. That was really fast. I said that. I said that. I said it, right? What was it? Surprise. I can't tell you. glasses. Okay, son. Come on, come on. That was really fast. I said, I said, I said, I said, right?

What was it? I can't tell you. You're my glasses. Peter Luger sent me just like a porterhouse. Need to get out. Need to go. Need to go, need to go. All right, just so you know, Bobby Lee.

Oh, yeah, so check me out. Bobby Lee Live, Tiger Belly. Tiger Belly and Bad Friends on the podcast. Bobby Lee Live is a website. Bobby Lee Live is my Twitter, my website. And I also make note that this show, the last time you'd ever hear him say the R word or the N word, he's never doing it again, he's sitting here.

I never said the N word. You said it earlier today. I said N word. I said it. No, I didn't and I said the other one. I said those the last time I'm gonna say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you won't hear it again

But you can loop these and make videos of him saying them and just enjoy it more in the future Thank you Bobby. I love you. Thanks for coming buddy Bert Tom Tom and Bert one goes top and swap the other wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave No scripts to beat a booze amateur, for topology Dirty jokes, Rancho Himmer, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cave.